#but again as a queer person myself i feel like it's possible to tell a good selkie story without the selkie necessarily being a woman

[llumimoon]

I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE SELKIE AUS but i don't know a lot about selkies and their folklore, and how they work, and i dont wanna mess it up :( How does one go about making a selkie au, oh Great Seal Master?? /gen

tbh my biggest advice is just have fun with it !! there are a lot of different iterations of selkie lore, its pretty fun to pick and choose which things you want to adapt!

really the core of it is just the seal skin coat! selkies are born with a seal skin that they can wear to turn into a seal, it is an extension of themselves and is a part of them them in ways you can't quite put into words or explain to a human.

being separated from their skin is literally like missing a part of themselves, and this can be depicted in many different ways like a persistent sickness, lack of voice or strength, a deep longing, etc.

a lot of the stories and folklore surrounding selkies is about people falling in love with their human form and stealing their seal skin to trap them on land and marry them. these end in many different ways, which is where a lot of the variation in the lore comes into play! sometimes the selkie finds their skin and runs away leaving behind even their kids, sometimes the selkie is trapped forever sometimes they literally die of sadness being separated from the sea

it doesn't necessarily have to always be romantic, selkies in folklore tend to fall into the swan maiden trope of men forcing a mythical woman into marriage, but i personally think its a lot funner to think about unorthodox scenarios. like someone accidentally taking the skin, or an overprotective parent locking it away, or even a selkie naturally falling in love with a human.

like i said there's a lot of different iterations, stuff like summoning w/ seven tears or selkies returning to the sea every seven years, the person owning the coat being able to control the selkie to a certain extent, hurting the coat hurts the selkie, returning the coat can be a marriage proposal, etc.

it can get overwhelming with all the different versions but as long as you stay true to the inital seal skin concept and dual nature of a selkie (they are known to be both friendly and helpful but also dangerous and vengeful- much like the sea that they come from) than you've got a good selkie story on your hands!

[drchucktingle]

Hello Dr Tingle! I wanted to ask you about that re: your post about how all your books are serious literature (hell yeah Love is real). How do you personally deal with the whole traditional publishing institution? It attracts a whole different level of coverage and it seems that they're very quick to try and box you and like turn you into a brand. Is it stiffling? Is it freeing? Does the attention help more people understand your trot? I don't know I've never been published but since you have experience in both traditional and self publishing I'm interested in knowing how that's feeling for you

well this is a pretty complex question with lots of different trots but i will try my best to answer. lets start with WHO I AM as buckaroo name of chuck

what i create has a very strong voice and my way is pretty recognizable. while buckaroos do not know what most authors look like, i REALLY stand out in a dang crowd with a big pink bag on my head. if you see 50 random author photos and mine is mixed in and then you ask 'which photo do you remember the most?' it is probably gonna be chuck. i also have a VERY UNIQUE STORY with what i create and my artistic sensibilities, not a lot of buds are out there making trans mothman erotica along with their big five traditional publishing bestsellers (SIDENOTE preorder BURY YOUR GAYS)

now if you were going to take 'CHUCK TINGLE' to a marketing department they would FALL OVER BACKWARDS IN THEIR DANG CHAIR with excitement. it is hard to think of an author with a stronger BRAND than i already have in the sense of 'instantly recognizable trot and specific unique style'. even in answering this you can tell that i dont even TALK like other dang authors.

what i am getting at is this: i am VERY VERY LUCKY because my existence just so happens to equate to what a company would see as GOOD BRANDING. it is not intentional on my part, it is just the hand of fate i guess. im out here expressing myself in a FULL ON WAY that is PRETTY DANG STRANGE TO SOME and it just so happens to work as mainstream branding too

on paper you might think 'what the heck no way chuck tingle will fly as a mainstream trot' but honestly the main thread of this timeline can be surprising sometimes. ive been saying the key ingredient for years and i will say it again: LOVE AND SINCERITY RESONATE. when you make art with this fuel, the timeline will feel it. when you stand up tall and shout with your whole chest THIS IS MY WAY AND I LOVE MYSELF. I AM THE WORLDS GREATEST AUTHOR TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, the timeline will listen

so all that said, i do not mind the idea of myself as 'brand' because i am not CHANGING myself to create this effect. what some might see as 'brand' i just see as another part of my art. i have always believed that art is THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE not just the painting but what is outside of the frame. WHO I AM is just as important as the books i write, and interacting with my way is a whole MULTIMEDIA experience that INCLUDES YOU TOO. it is the feeling when your friend shows you your first tingler cover, or the feeling when you realize that i am not playing a character. this is ALL a part of the tingleverse and it is all a part of my honest raw expression as a queer and neurodivergent buckaroo.

YOU ARE PART OF THIS ART TOO

it is my nature of have a PUNK ROCK trot. always has been. but to me that does not mean just angrily going against everything for the sake of going against everything. for me, this punk rock trot means fighting to EXPRESS MYSELF IN THE MOST HONEST AND PURE FORM POSSIBLE and to create the art that i want to make without any boundaries

somehow i have threaded the needle in this really interesting once-in-a-dang-lifetime kind of way. my pure punk rock self as an OUTERSIDER ARTIST just so happens to resonate with this larger system of brand and traditional publishing and popular culture. i COULD reject this, but rejecting it would be LESS HONEST.

this is just who i am. i LIKE pop culture. i LIKE joy. i LIKE dressing in all pink and wearing my custom suits. I LIKE PROVING LOVE IS REAL WHAT THE HECK ELSE EVEN IS THERE? i love being a queer outsider artist and using my small voice to shout at the big bad devils and i like that every time i shout a few more of you buckaroos join the chorus and together we are just getting louder and louder and louder and WHO KNOWS what comes next for us all trotting together.

when i post something like 'WHAT A GREAT DAY TO PROVE LOVE' it is not me sitting here in a bad mood thinkin 'well i gotta make todays post to keep up with my brand'. i am ACTUALLY FEELING THAT FEELING and i actually believe it with every fiber of my being. honestly, half the time i post about the beauty of this timeline i am probably over here literally crying tears of joy (chuck is an emotional bud i get riled over the joy of existence A LOT)

and heres the best part of this trot: because i really have this punk rock way it makes me very powerful. others can pretend not to care about success and brand and all that but I REALLY DO NO CARE. i would write tinglers whether buds were reading them or not, this is just my natural state, and that makes me incredibly strong. if some big corporation says 'YOU MUST DO THIS' and i dont want to do it i just say 'no thanks'. it is not some big debate about my career or anything like that because I REALLY DO NOT CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST. i care about the art

because of this, my relationship with my GIANT TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING MACHINE is great. we trot like equals and we get along really well. i tell them exactly what i want to do and they let me do it. i really do not have to answer to anyone and they deserve a huge amount of credit for respecting me in this way.

and heres the thing, THEY ALSO HAVE SOME GREAT IDEAS

SPECIFICALLY my imprint of NIGHTFIRE is very dang cool. yes, they are the head of a giant hydra of a BIG FIVE PUBLISHER, but nightfire is SO DANG ART-FOCUSED

there is no right or wrong way to be an artist, and my path is not the only one, but i can tell you what WORKS FOR ME. this is the advice i would give myself, and buckaroos can take it or leave it

here it is: never beg the big book publisher, or record label, or movie studio to pay attention to you

do not let it become a lotto ticket in your brain. do not think that you are some weak little creature and maybe if you trot just right they will scoop you up and take care of you. do not go to their door begging to be let in

LET THEM COME TO YOUR DOOR

create something so incredible and beautiful and honest and powerful and unique and important that they would be foolish to miss out. create a community or a system or a timeline or a world of imagination that thrives on its own and THEY SHOULD BE SO LUCKY TO BE A PART OF IT

then when you sit down at that board meeting it is not 'please brand me, ill do whatever you want'. instead, it is 'lets make a deal and see how much love we can prove together.'

now lets trot buckaroos

[artemiseamoon]

I’m glad to see more discussion about the experience as a non-white person in the PP fandom. I have been in many ‘fan groups’ in my life, 80s baby here, and this one has surprisingly been the most unwelcoming and triggering in many ways (💜minus the ✨amazing✨ readers, mutuals, and friends I have made here. This part is the good stuff.) 💜

I’m glad to see more discussion about how we get overlooked and our work, art, and moodboards get ignored.

I’ve been yelling into the void about this since 2020, many others as well, and many for much longer than me. We get ignored, overlooked, nasty anons, the list goes on…

In my time sharing here, I have tried to make things as diverse and inclusive as possible while highlighting black and brown folks. But I tell you, my readership suffered, my moodboards (which I put my heart and soul into) were only shared sometimes, if so it was by a few lovely mutuals and amazing readers who supported me.

My engagement has always been a struggle. I could actively see my moodboards and fics with brown skin characters get 0-10 likes and no reblogs while ones with petite pintrest ⚪️ women get 100+. This happened often, minus cool surprises like when something would be shared by a bigger blog and then i’d see more engagement for a burst of time. Only in these cases I would have the most reach and see that reflected in things like reblogs and likes. Anyway…

This has been a discussion for a long time. I got so tired I stopped talking about it. I stopped posting about it. It seemed my voice, and many others didn’t matter. I took many breaks, left and came back, only to find things worse and the little community I had mostly gone. I stepped away from here and the PP fandom.

I was and am greatly disappointed that there is such a lack of support and blatant (plus passive aggressive) racism in this fandom for a poc!

Recently, to see the confederate flag used as an aesthetic choice in a fic (by a writer I did enjoy and follow) was a blow. Especially even more now as a queer woman with brown skin living in a country that voted a racist criminal into office, again.

Fan-fiction should be a safe place to escape. Why would we want to see our very valid fears and hostile signs like that flag in fics we read?

On that note, it is crazy to me we have to experience this at all, but especially in a fandom for a poc man!!

Again, I am happy these conversations are happening. Will things change? I dunno - I feel doubtful. I am pissed. But I do hope there will be change.

Ps: just because a character is from the south, and has an accent, DOES NOT mean you have to make them racist. As a woman with Louisiana Creole roots via my dad, and Southern (GA, NC, VA) both via my mom and dad (I grew up in the North so no accent and all for me) BUT I do write alot of Southern Gothic and fic settings in places like Louisiana. Would I add that fucking flag even tho it’s around? No.

Don’t do shit like that. Do better.

Pss: this is bigger than me, I am not just talking about my self. My work is not for everyone, some will dislike it, thats totally ok, i have weaknesses as well as strengths as a writer, thats ok - i am talking about this on a grander collective scale of things. We already lost so many creative talented poc and queer writers and I myself have been distant from the fandom as well. Don’t be surprised if more continue to leave if this shit keeps up.

[historyinclusionist]

Harmless Personal Identity coining

Since the term I crafted has been picking up steam in a couple places, I decided it's time to make a official post for it and propose a flag. I'm not good at making flags and you're welcome to redesign the above one if you like this term.

Harmless Personal Identity (HPI) is an umbrella term meant to describe personal identities that people might assign to themselves, coin for others, make pride flags for, and so on, but not any identities that inherently cause harm. If an identity checks the following boxes, it can be called a Harmless Personal Identity.

Harmless: It doesn't encourage predatory behavior, racism, ableism, transphobia etc just by existing.

The identity is being labeled because it makes the person using it comfortable. Not to harm others by deceiving them. For example: LGBT people and systems are not intending to deceive others and simply want to live as they are. This doesn't mean that the term in question is completely free of criticism or couldn't be used in bad faith—I think every term that's ever been coined could be used in bad faith. This means that it may be unusual or strange, especially to people who aren't familiar with the social groups/contexts the term was coined in, but the definition doesn't encourage people to appropriate culture, speak over people of color, commit inc-st/p-dophilia/z-ophilia, or otherwise cause harm to themselves or another living being as part of that identity.

Example: "Transhawaiian" is not an HPI, because by virtue of it existing the coiner and anyone who uses this term are saying that "Hawaiian" is a feeling someone can decide they feel and apply to themself at will, instead of the racial minority that "Hawaiian" actually is.

Personal: Identities which are wholly self-determined and locatable only within that person's interaction with and relations to the world around them.

In general—Other people cannot determine your internal view of yourself because they cannot be you, therefore your identity is personal! Someone who's unfamiliar with xenogenders may tell me that I cannot be -insert gender- because -thing- isn't a gender, but my gender is inside me and I cannot possibly give them the ability to feel it for me. It is located only within me.

This includes labels that get called "contradictory", like identifying as a lesbian and a man at the same time. If you're not familiar with multigender and multisexual lesbian spaces that might sound strange, but gender+presentation and orientation labels are purely self-defined—they are the coiner/anyone who uses that term saying "this is how I would describe my attraction to -insert gender here-," "this is how I would describe my gender that only I can feel inside my head and can't physically show to someone else," and so on. A bisexual lesbian's identity is not saying that all lesbians are bisexual or that they should identify that way; It is saying that that individual determined themself to be bisexual and lesbian.

(This does not extend to, again, racism and cultural appropriation. Queer labels are a self-defined thing, whereas racial and ethnic identity and things like congenital disorders can have self-defined aspects but are largely on a completely different quadrant of identity and can't be "decided" in the same way that queer labels can.)

Identity: A self-applied label or understanding of yourself.

This one is straightforward mostly. I would like to note that this does include things like reclaimed slurs and derogatory words, since in those cases, it's that person who's been called that word choosing "you know what? I AM a -slur- and I love myself for it!" instead of it being used to put them down.

Ok, so what identities specifically?

MOGAI (xenogenders, neogenders, neo/newly coined orientations, presentation terms, neopronouns+etc)

Alterhuman (the entire alterhuman umbrella, excluding any culturally appropriative behavior)

Most plural culture/coined terms for plural experiences

Other identity umbrellas (Dissomei, desirdae, reclaimed xenoidentities, xenonatures, neurowiry,+etc)

And so on. Is it not a radqueer, transrace, transx, etc term or would you call it a "good faith identity"? It most likely fits here.

This also includes a category of personal identity I've been seeing more and more lately, which are these uncategorized identifications with specific words that have pride flags. Some examples: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Ok, cool, do I identify as this?

You would say "I use harmless personal identities"/"I support harmless personal identities"/I coin harmless personal identities"+etc. This is less an identity and more of a faster way to describe these identities.

TD;LR— Identities that are probably niche, but don't harm people like radqueer/transid/transrace/transabled do.

Tagging: @gender-jargon | @neopronouns | @radiomogai | @kiruliom | @aspectsofidentity | @beyond-mogai-pride-flags | @neopronouns | @antiradqueerguy

Alt flags and more things are beneath the cut:

Two alternative flag ideas which I abandoned, but you can use if you want.

The phrasing "locatable only within your interaction with and relations to the world around you" came from a Tumblr post by txttletale (lost link). This term and the author have no affiliation with them, I just thought it was a wonderful way to phrase this concept. This would later inspire me to coin the term History Inclusionist, which then led to me sort of backwards-coining HPI to describe it.

You don't have to be a History Inclusionist to use the term HPI and I won't tell you not to interact with me if you aren't one.

I might make subset flags later. Maybe?

[11/21/2024] I forgot to add that @kiruliom helped me adjust the flag colors. Thank you.

[homunculus-argument]

hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not

so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.

so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.

I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.

She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.

It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.

It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.

Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.

[bogkeep]

when i was a teen, i was in love with my best friend. to this day i cannot tell you with any certainty whether or not i was in love romantically or platonically. i don't know and i don't care. it's very possible there is a difference, but i never found it. i've asked many people about it and everyone has their own definition of where that line goes, none that ever applied to my own experiences. there is no satisfying, universal and objective line. i think that's good, actually. the idea that there is some shining abstract concept that's specialer than all the other concepts that can only be achieved like nirvana by some people and not others is not a comfortable idea. this is not to say that everyone has the same feelings and experiences, absolutely not - but we categorize our experiences within the contexts we exist in. or maybe that's just word salad.

i know that - at the time, i knew i was deeply connected to this other person and kept thinking about her all the time and we talked about wanting to be close friends for our whole lives and wrote poetry together about our soulmateness and we made mutual friends feel like a third wheel. i knew i had no desire to kiss her or take her on dates, and she crushed on some boy at summer camp, but the connection between us was mutual and explicit. if the concept of a queerplatonic relationship had been available to us at the time, maybe we would've recognized it as such. i just knew that what i was feeling didn't match up at all with what i've been told 'being in love' was supposed to be like - especially because, at the time, Being In Love also included sexual attraction. we had just cracked open the 2010's and asexuality was a punchline and a joke.

i know that - during the time i was made to feel ashamed of my aroace identity and the narrative was that i'm actually just repressing my TRUE queer identity, i reframed my memories - i had obviously been in love with my friend Romantically. i was a Real Gay. i was Valid. I Was Sapphic Actually. you can't kick me out of the parade if i had pined for my best friend as a teen!!!!

i know that - once i reclaimed the pride in myself, i reframed the memories again: i had obviously been in love with my friend Platonically, because otherwise i would've been a traitor to the good name of aromanticism. if i knew what it was like to have a crush i would contradict myself. who am i to write about romantic love as if i know? what was i doing at the devil's sacrament?

maybe it is a mystery. maybe i don't know shit. it's hard, actually, to know anything at all when the way my strange brain filters emotions through my body reads so different to the user manual. how can anyone stand to pine for another when it's all anxiety, all day? "butterflies"???? really????? how am i supposed to know anything for sure when my brain's favourite hobby is to pick thoughts apart and run them through the distortion machine on repeat, on repeat, on repeat? i don't know if i've ever loved anyone at all, now that i think about it. maybe i'm an empty shell of a human and everything i do is an act of puppetry and wishful thinking.

i just gotta trust that the love is there, in some form or another. even when i can't reach for it and confirm its existence - let alone deduce a detailed taxonomy. what do you even need that for.

[creekwritersblood]

The Fear of being Censored Or Unaccepted

Today's post is something I'm so touched about. This topic is something so close to me as a writer, as a reader, and a Queer myself, I am a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community and I am standing tall in front of everyone. I spent so many years fearing this part of myself because of the judgment of people, I lost my last job for it, but I do not care, because I think if someone judges a human being only based on who they are sleeping with, then I prefer to be a home mom, than break my back for someone who doesn't value my capabilities as an accountant, a proofreader, Translator or the Graphic Designer I sweat seven shirts to be. I know my value and I won't bow again in front of someone else lying to myself just because some people do not like it, family, bosses, or anything else.

Said that I am working with other marvelous people on a writing project as you saw in my other profile @reginakoilos, and some days ago we had a conversation about censorship. It scares the hell off many people, and it worries a lot of people, but I think that this is still a free World, we have rights, we have creativity and NOBODY can tell us what to write about.

Sadly I've passed this before and I've learned that the only way to avoid it and fight it is to stand tall and not bow.

If I can I will give you some pieces of advice right here:

Don't lose yourself: The first rule is to be loyal to yourselves, if you want to write about LGBTQIA+, Hetero, or Whatever you want to write about Just Do It! Nobody can say to you what to or what not to write. But always remember To Be Respectful.

Auto-Publish: This method of publishing will be your best friend, at least at the start. You will be able to gain money writing what you love, as you love, and Because you love. You won't need a Publisher at the beginning. Besides Internet is way too Vast to censor each and every "uncommon" content!

Marketing: This is the rule of the rules, advertising your product will help you gain public and start your little niche of readers.

Stay away from people who ask you to write only about "common" couples: Nobody has to ask you that, NEVER, because creativity is something subjective and doesn't need to be stopped by those requests. Most of all because with that people can start to feel a bit uneasy and unaccepted.

Never accept compromises regarding the sexuality of your characters: I don't know how you see that, but I honestly consider my characters as a little piece of my mind and they are fruits of hard work and deep thoughts and you must be strong enough to fight for what YOU created with a lot of effort and patience.

Whatever comment will come your way, remember: Only constructive Criticism must be taken into consideration, all the rest is trash and must be something not to consider.

Another topic I came across during this past week, is the horrendous practice of Shaming others, for their diversity, and their way of choosing Characters and making them appear in some way instead of another. I mean, we are in 2025, how can it be possible to read comments of hate like that? 1. Every character is a creation of the writer and the latter has ALL and EVERY right to make the OC however they decide.

2. Why get so mad if someone writes about a chubby character instead of a skinny one? Cannot it have the same appreciation? Every character has its own sexuality, physique, strength, and flaws, they are all different!

3. Every person around here has the right to speak their own mind, of course, but the rule must be always the same RESPECT, something that is missing apparently during this last period.

I really hope next time or if it happens for the first time, you will be strong enough to send back those comments to the sender, because NOBODY has the right to tell you how to write or what.

I speak for myself, I can give advice, but all is up to you.

[velvetvexations]

It is so unbelievable how many fucking anti transmasc losers there are!! It's unbelievable, it really is just like ace discourse. Every fucking blog, I have to search 'transmasc' and 'TME' just like I had to search 'ace' and 'asexual' back in the day People will JUMP at the chance to do this shit over again huh

You should read up on the Cultural Revolution because it just keeps happening.

Ok not to double send but...

Blogs like yours do WONDERS for my mental health. Knowing there are actually people in my corner while I realise I'm a trans man is phenomenal

I'm glad to help! <3

my passing status is nebulous. sometimes i pass, but mostly i dont. im a trans guy with a thing for crossdressing so sometimes i have actual, legitimate euphoria vibes over just... sitting in my car and looking feminine. like "you all think im a girl but SECRETLY IM A BOY!!!" and it feels really good because like. yeah. i can look like a girl but nothing will change that i am a boy 😊😊 trans guy crossdresser again, my passing status is also really weird because i am intersex. my mustache confuses people, and that's great

That's similar to how I feel. People think I'm misgendering myself when I call myself male but it's more like I'm asserting dominance over gendered expectations lol. I'm male and I'm still a woman anyway.

thank you for your blog. a musician i really respected went super anti-transmasc recently and its really hurt, and the stuff here makes me feel like. less insane for having an issue with it

I'm really, really sorry anon. I love you a lot. <3

love that this person is calling people who believe that trans men can be oppressed "chuds", a word that is mostly used to talk about right-wing conservative men

transandro reactionaries dontcha know

"internet tough guys" still exist in 2024?????????????

Someone said something like "no one wants to fight you" and I was thinking "no actually I'm dead serious I would actually."

anyone who tries to debunk transandrophobia by throwing in "you people" has automatically lost the argument imo. but also I need to rant. as That Guy in your inbox who hangs out in bear and leather bars it makes me genuinely want to chew through the floor when people are like "oh well queer people don't demonize masculinity" GO OUTSIDE. YES THEY DO. there is a REASON fat hairy balding men tend to have our own damn spaces, because no one else will take us. FUCK.

if people want to insist that everyone around them has always recognized their soul-gender and no one is ever treated like anything but what they identify as maybe they should stop talking about what genders that aren't theirs experience

I'm a bisexual trans man who does not pass and never will pass and I have spent over 30 years of my life being told my experiences aren't real mostly by other queer people and I am so, so, so, so, SO jaded by it. I'm done. If you tell me "your lived experiences are not a real thing" then you're the villain. I can't stand it. I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I have absolutely nowhere to go and I feel so unbelievably hopeless.

Try to hang in there anon. It's okay to disengage and avoid discourse. I know it's not always possible, but there's nothing wrong with unplugging from this shit as much as you can. You have to focus on your happiness.

I love you. <3

[drdemonprince]

Autistic friend anon here — thank you so much for your answer and the substack post. I was kind of stuck in the “rejection” feeling of “wait but if being autistic isn’t a bad thing then why are you so upset at the idea that YOU might be autistic”. I took it really personally and wasn’t really thinking about how much it sucks when someone acts like they know you better than you do. I’ll have to keep working through that.

I also often get stuck in the idea that “well if someone had just TOLD ME I was queer/trans/autistic then I could have figured it out sooner and life would be better” or whatever. But after many years of being out as queer/trans, I think that isn’t actually true and even if it is, I don’t interact with other possibly queer/trans people by “diagnosing” them with queerness/transness any more. In my head it seemed like autism was different for some reason, but of course it is not.

Anyway, your answer was really thoughtful and diplomatic, while also being very clear about what is bad behavior on my part. It is genuinely going to be a big benefit in my life.

Hey, nice to hear from you again!

I totally feel you. When I told a friend years ago that I thought she might be a BPDer, I was incensed that she ended up not taking that comment well. I meant it in an affirming, pro-Mad-Pride kinda way! I was a BPDer too! if she thought it was bad to be BPD, what did that mean she thought about me?

But I was looking at it the wrong way. I had just hurled a still very stigmatized label in her direction as a response to her complaining about real relational struggles in her life, which felt diminishing and presumptive. Telling various people in my life that I'm pretty sure they're Autistic can have a similar effect, even if they're on board Autism acceptance as an idea.

I used to fixate on the time I lost not realizing I was trans or queer or whatever the fuck I am yet. I had a vision of an older me materializing before me at age 16, specifically on the corn-lined roads I used to bike up and down furiously, and imagined telling myself the Truth of who I was and what I had to do to be happy. I believed that if i had known I was trans younger I would have avoided a lot of upsetting relationships, eating disordered periods, and general angst.

Now. I am pretty damn sure that is not true. It turns out that being trans was not a solution to all my problems, it was just another problem that I had. In the sense that it's a challenge to navigate on this bitch of an earth. if i hadn't chosen to be trans i would have chosen some other shit to do that also would have been a major pain in the ass i'm sure. that too would have been an interesting back story.

I dont think I was ever going to be outgoing and unneurotic and breezily well adjusted. That's not my lot in life. Feeling a little uncomfortable in my body and around other people is as definitional a part of me as my wit or my weird laugh. I can kinda love that about myself now, or at least accept it. nothing and nobody actually could have saved me. its just not that simple. but it's been a pretty interesting life.

i think we tend to impose our self-narratives onto other people when we are not happy or we are harboring deep regrets about having gotten something wrong or missed something in the past. but we cant spare our friends those journeys. they should get to have them. it's interesting and enriching to get things wrong, be in denial, cope in elaborate stupid ways, soul search, change our minds, miss something, find something, never know what's true.

[pinchinschlimbah]

There's some bullshit afoot and I don't really feel like engaging but what I'll say is this: -acknowledging that someone who has had a drastic change in appearance over the past decade to appear more feminine, is in fact more feminine now, is not an act of violence or misgendering -calling someone they/them who seems to be intentionally presenting in an ambiguous way (both visually and in ways such as coming up with a feminine nickname for themself that they've repeatedly used to speak about themself in third person in place of using a first person gendered pronoun) because you're unsure of their current identity even though they might still be cis, is not misgendering on the same level that intentionally calling a trans person the wrong pronouns is -I can only speak for myself on this one but I come from the world of drag and queer nightlife where she/her is basically a gender neutral pronoun so me calling someone she/her doesn't necessarily mean I believe they're a woman, it's more a term of endearment than anything else

-Assuming cis/het identity as the default and refusing to acknowledge any potential for otherwise is just as invalidating as insisting someone is queer or trans when they're not -holding space for the potentiality of queer identity in someone who seems to be possibly having non cis/het feelings or expression but has not officially vocalized a coming out is not the same as deciding someone's identity for them -"If this person was queer/trans they would tell us" With how repressive and conservative Japanese culture is when it comes to this stuff??? There's a reason you can count the amount of officially "out" queer people in vkei in one hand and I can assure you it's NOT because there's actually that few queer people in vkei -"Yeah but Kyo said he's not gay in an interview several years ago so we should believe him and respect that" First of all see above point. Second, his visual presentation has changed SO much since then- specifically in the direction of queer/drag/femme aesthetics! And third, there are multiple reports of him saying on mic at a Sukekiyo show this past summer "I want to be loved by both men and women" and he has also made multiple posts about not caring about gender, so again, ignoring real sources that don't back up your belief that a person is definitely cishet is just as bad as insisting someone is queer or trans when they've said they're not -Are we reeeeally gonna pretend this person has not had ANY shift in gender expression and that there's NO chance these changes might possibly mean anything? Or are, as several people have suggested, just some sort of "joke" to amuse the fanbase? Come on nowww

Anyway that's all, have a nice day <3

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi!! Sorry to bother you but i just want to feel like im not sick and wanted to share my thoughts with someone that wont judge me

But i feel really bad, i really feel like there’s something wrong with me i don’t like sex and every time i had sex before has been bc i was supposed to do it, i forced my self to lose my virginity bc i felt like it was about time and i was too old for keep being a virgin. Also i thought “well, maybe if i do it i’ll start liking it like everybody says” but i didn’t, i didn’t like it but i thought again “oh well, it’s the first time (im a ciswoman)they say it always hurts the first time, maybe the more i do it i’ll start liking eventually” but again, i didn’t, i had sex with different people that i felt attracted to and it ALWAYS HURTED, also every time i had to be with at least a little alcohol in my system, so actually i have never had sex being 100% sober.

Now i’m in a relationship but I don’t even like kisses and it sucks bc i really love my boyfriend, he knows about this but i kinda feel like even if he is very supportive about it and says he still wants to be with me, I think there’s this little part of him that wishes that one day i’ll change and we can have sex.

I feel bad bc is it ok to call him my boyfriend and not just a close friend? Im i even allowed to love? Do i have to force my self to do something I don’t really want to or enjoy to be loved? Am i worthy of being loved?

I'm so sorry. As a thirtysomething that had the privilege to afford never to have sex, and who doesn't plan to change that any time, soon, I can tell you from my own experience that yes, not wanting it is valid, and no one should blame you for it. No one should blame you for forcing yourself to try it (because damn the societal pressure is so real), and for never liking it either. I'm so sorry you've been so invalidated just for wanting to live as you are for so long.

Seems to me that what you have right now is something you've always deserved and it's tragic that you didn't get it any earlier, but it's such a relief you have it now. Of course it's OK to call him your boyfriend. As much as our closed-minded, stuck-in-its-own-way, can't-see-past-its-own-nose society would try to lead you to believe, you don't have to have or want sex with someone to love them, that's not a mandatory condition at all. Of course you're allowed to love and worthy of being loved. And no, you don't have to force yourself to do something you don't want to or enjoy to be loved. That applies not only to sex but to so many other things. You don't have to force yourself to do anything to be worthy of love.

It's idealistic thinking maybe, but I always think communication is incredibly important between two people, so I'd personally recommend (although take for that what you will, you were just sharing feelings here, it's not like you came into this inbox to be told what to do and it's kinda pretentious on my part to write this in the first place) to share those fears with your boyfriend, emphasizing, if you need to, that it's not that you don't trust him or don't love him, it's that with the struggles you've had to go through for so long as an asexual person, it's hard for you not to be scared of such things even if things are going great. Of course I don't know your boyfriend, but if you have the feeling he's supportive, I want to believe that he'll be there to reassure you and keep supporting you.

And heck, if it winds up being a disappointment and he actually did have sexual ulterior motives he can't do without... That's on him, not on you. There's nothing wrong with you not wanting sex. You have every right to enjoy loving someone and being with someone on your own terms. I'm fortunate enough to do so myself, at the moment (granted, in a queer platonic relationship so it's a bit different, but still), so I know first-hand it's possible. And I sincerely wish you the best. You don't deserve to be doubting yourself, your happiness and your right to happiness so much but I can't blame you for that either. Society can really fuck up an asexual's self-esteem. But fuck that noise. You're so valid as you are.

[lil-gae-disaster]

Sometimes I feel like the whole world is resting on my shoulders and I have no idea why.

Ever since I've gained a recognition of what politics are, I've treaded in those waters neck-deep.

I am arguing, protesting, raising attention wherever I can because I feel no one else will. Because politics have gone so up in the nose of my generation that we just shrug it off.

"This 1933 party is winning!" Eh.

"Trump vs Biden!" Shrug

"The planned deportation of any generation immigrants" doesn't affect me

"trans rights are removed" isn't important

"Homosexuals into prison again!" Isn't my problem

I completely understand anyone who's like "politics are too mentally draining for me" because, same. But at the same time I need to raise attention because everyone relies on everyone else.

The best thing is- I'm also scared. I'm scared of the public, I'm scared of the politicians, I'm scared of now being taken seriously.

Being scared of the public is a bad joke as an ongoing actor, but back to the topic.

I'm scared of being humiliated much more after my attempts at one-person activism Don't, or do, work. I'm scared of everyone groaning whenever I open my mouth because they expect a political debate. Which, can happen.

I'm scared of my friends leaving me, because even though they're all left, they try to talk me out of my urges to say and do something. They all tried to be like "yes its bad, but what can we do?" And I didn't respond because I have been taught to never answer a question that's used in the context of scolding.

I'm scared of not being taken seriously. I'm scared of the "You're just 14, what do you know?" Because nowadays children apparently don't know anything. It's quite ironic, coming from those who raised us or our parents, to the first generation in the age of VERY accessible knowledge.

I'm scared of how the public would treat my (dead)name if I did something, I'm scared of people finding me before my death, I'm scared of the judgemental way our (partially global) society is currently, which has, to my knowledge, not been as bad ever before.

I'm scared of people associating the wrong name of mine with myself, while this name is just an adjective people use to summarize what they would want to see. Not what they clearly see and I tell them.

I'm scared of my mother ruining any possibilities of me building weight to the name "Noah" and not the name "[REDACTED]" because of her using my old name to illusion herself that I'm what I have not been for a long time. What I have never been to begin with.

I'm scared of hearing my wrong name.

I'm scared of the judgements public.

I'm scared of not being taken seriously by the important people.

I'm scared of standing alone again.

But most importantly:

I'm scared of everything staying the same.

I need to do something, it pains me to wait, but with the way adults view children as property and teenagers as annoying and outspoken troublemakers, not people, never people, I cannot make myself be taken seriously and take action. I cannot get the important adults to listen to my woes.

Because I'm "just" a kid.

Because I'm queer.

Because I'm trans.

Because my old name is still popular in use.

Because I don't know any better.

Because I will never be seen as equally important as my cishet NT counterparts.

[total-drama-atlas]

Character Headcanons

this is just sexuality and gender hcs lol but here we go! I'm going to go in first elimination order in their debut season, except for the new cast (because i haven't finished the season yet, so I dont want to spoil it for myself) which will be in the order that i remember them, then the hosts.

Ezekiel: I think he's cishet. just the homeschool stereotype and all that. but maybe he discovers something about himself between meeting alejandro and going completely feral

Eva: she's a butch lesbian. i personally think she's cis, but i could see transfem eva

Noah: gay trans man. i mean have you guys even seen his character

justin: I think he's aroace. again, i personally think justin is cis, but i could see him being trans

katie: trans lesbian. i just know it okay

tyler: he's bi. he absolutely had a crush on alejandro. you can't change my mind. i also think he's cis but again, i could see him being transmasc

izzy: shes transfem. of course. and i think she's a lesbian, but i could see her being bi or pan. assuming she's lesbian, her relationship with owen could either be just strategy or comphet. you decide

cody: have you seen the way that boy dresses? trans man bisexual disaster.

beth: personally, i think she gives cishet vibes, but i could see her possibly being bi and/or transfem.

sadie: obviously lesbian. she and katie are in love. of course. and idk if she's cis or trans. i could see either. but I think she is also trans. t4t

courtney: as much as i love duncney... i think courtney is lesbian. i think she has extreme comphet and she doesn't realize her sexuality until wt, and then doesn't come to terms with it and accept herself until all stars. but i think she's cis

harold: transfem harold is canon. to me. idk their sexuality tho. i could see them as omni or pan tho.

trent: bisexual trent is so real guys. again, i personally think he's cis, but I could see transmasc trent

bridgette: i could see her as transfem, but I also could see her as cis. also she gives me pan vibes but I can also see her being straight. idrk

lindsay: shes pan. i just know it okay. i personally see her as cis, but again, i could see transfem lindsay. or transmasc lindsay.

DJ: cis, aroace. he's just a really sweet guy

geoff: cis, bisexual. i just know it okay

leshawna: cis, bisexual. i just. i just know it okay

duncan: cis bisexual. he'll call you a slur tho

heather: transfem lesbian. trust me guys. i could also see her being ace tho

gwen: transfem bi. i just know

owen: cis bi. he is canonically bi btw. he had a crush on justin. it was played as a joke but. that's just what happened

blaineley: i could see her as straight or queer honestly. i personally think she's cishet.

sierra: transfem. for sure. and i think she's a lesbian with comphet. just like heather and courtney.

alejandro: I think he's cis, but i could see him being trans. also he's bi. trust me. but i mean i could see him being gay. it's plausible.

staci: she doesn't have enough screen time for me to tell. she has like. ten minutes total. but shes trans

dakota: transfem pansexual. i just know it okay

B: i think they're nb, or at the least a trans man. i mean. his deadname is a traditionally feminine name.. it lines up. they're not cis i can tell you that much. anyway i think he's aroace

dawn: genderqueer panromantic ace. just trust me okay

sam: he gives me cishet vibes, but also i could easily see him being bi or pan.

Brick: i feel like he's cis but I also like the idea of him experimenting with gender nonconformity. and as much as i like jo x brick as a ship, i also think brick is probably gay. or bi with a heavy male preference

anne maria: transfem anne maria is canon. to me. anyway she's very much bi.

mike: i feel like he's cis but i could see him as trans, and i think he's pan. i'm also treating his alters like separate characters, though i know very little about multiple personality disorder, so idk if that's exactly how that works (feel free to correct me in replies)

vito: i hc him to be cis but idk. also he's pan. if vito finds you hot, it doesn't matter what you've got going on.

Svetlana: transfem lesbian. trust me okay

chester: cishet ally.

mal: look i like the queer hcs for mal. y'all are so real for that. but i think he's cishet and homophobic and transphobic

manitoba: trans manitoba is real. to me. also he's pan. trust me y'all

jo: trans butch lesbian

scott: cis gay man

zoey: she could be either cis or trans. i think she's transfem. and also she's pan. i don't think an explanation is necessary

cameron: she was very sheltered, so i doubt she would have been exposed to LGBTQ+ stuff so she wouldn't know it at first.. but I think cam would be transfem. bc i saw a post where someone said that it would be funny if cameron realized she was trans because lightning kept calling her a "girl" and that was her awakening lol. anyway she's ace

lightning: cis gay man

beardo: he gets like ten minutes of screen time and he doesn't really talk.. cis bi

leonard: cis gay. i just know it

amy: cishet +homo/transphobic (i'll explain in a minute)

rodney: he's cis, okay. and pan. i just know it

sammy: shes transfem lesbian. trust me. That's why Amy hates her sm. it lines up with real experiences that I know people have

ella: she's bi. i just know it. but i'm not sure what their gender situation is.. but she uses she/they pronouns

Topher: cis gay man. just look at him i mean

dave: cishet. undecided on his opinion of queer people. (he decides he's an ally when he finds out sky is queer but he then declares himself homophobic when she rejects him) he would call you a slur

scarlett: transfem lesbian.

max: transmasc gay.

jasmine: transfem bi

sugar: cis lesbian

shawn: transmasc pan. i just know it okay

sky: transfem bi/pan. i just know it okay. also that's why dave decided he's homophobic and transphobic now

Tammy: trans lesbian. trust me okay

Pete: cis gay. also he's married to gerry

Gerry: cis gay. also he's married to pete

Ellody: trans lesbian. also she's dating mary

Mary: cis lesbian. also she's dating ellody

laurie: cis bisexual. also she's dating miles

miles: trans lesbian. also she's dating laurie

tom: cis gay

jen: cis lesbian

kelly: cishet ally

taylor: cishet homophobe

jay: major cishet vibes. but idk he might learn some things. once he's actually esposed to the outside world

mickey: see jay.

lorenzo: cishet. i didn't really care for the stepbros team so i haven't really put much though into it

chet: cishet. see lorenzo

rock: nonbinary bisexual. also he's dating spud

spud: trans gay man. also he's dating rock

dwayne: cishet homophobe

junior: he's like. 11. i'm not saying you can't have figured our your sexuality and gender at that age. but junior definitely hasnt

ennui: trans bi man. canonically dating crimson (and i'm keeping taht)

crimson: trans bi woman. canonically dating ennui (and Im keeping it taht way)

stephanie: cis bi woman. i just know it.

ryan: cishet ally

devin: cis bi man

carrie: cishet ally (she's a HUGE ally okay)

kitty: cis lesbian

emma: cis lesbian

josee: transfem lesbian

jacques: trans gay man

macarthur: trans butch lesbian. also she's dating sanders

sanders: cis lesbian. also she's dating macarthur

brody: cis pansexual. just trust me okay

axel: trans butch lesbian. also she's in love with nichelle

nichelle: cis femme lesbian. also she's in love with axel

emma: cis lesbian with extreme comphet

chase: cis bi man with lots of internalized homophobia. anyway he's in love with ripper

ripper: cis bi man. also he's in love with chase. (i don't like ripper or chase. they're perfect for each other tho)

wayne: cishet ally (he's canonically an ally!!)

raj: cis gay. also bowraj for life

bowie: cis gay. also bowraj for life

i need to make another block of text bc i reached the character limit lmao

scary girl/lauren: transfem lesbian. i just know it

zee: nonbinary pansexual. trust me

julia: cis lesbian. but she'll call you a slur. she's dating MK

damien: i think he's a cishet ally. but i could see him as bi

caleb: cis aroace. no i will not elaborate

millie: transfem lesbian

priya: cis lesbian

MK: nonbinary lesbian. they're dating julia

The host with the most, chris mclean: trans gay man. he'll call you a slur tho. he's married to chef

Chef Hatchet: cis gay man. he's married to chris

Don: cis gay man. he hates chris's guts.

that's every character. anyway next week it's going to be a tierlist of all the characters <3

[campgender]

from “Soft Butch” by Nora E. Derrington, published in Fat & Queer: An Anthology (2022)

image description below the cut.

I: Soft

There’s an onomatopoeia to the word. It begins with a sibilant, sinuous, sensual ess, then moves on to a gentle ah that caresses the palate. Then the quick succession of consonants hitting the lips and teeth like a playful kitten batting a toy mouse. The word is a delicacy, smooth and subtle.

As a descriptor, it can be tactile: pliable, cushioned, comfortable. Cotton sheets worn silky smooth. Downy puppy fur. Velvet rose petals drawn across bare skin. But of course, the negative associations slip in quickly: pliable becomes yielding, yielding becomes weak. A soft touch. Soft-hearted. A big softie. An antonym not just for hard but for strong.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be strong, to be tough. I didn’t want to be soft. How could I be anything but soft, though, when PE was my worst subject and I was so sensitive that the slightest injustice—Nikki’s mom yelling at me for wearing shoes on Nikki’s waterbed, even though the tell-tale footprint clearly came from Nikki’s shoe—or most mundane tragedy—restless teens dismembering a cheap claw-machine teddy bear in my presence—never failed to make me cry?

II. Butch

More onomatopoeia here, too: a voiced plosive, a deep vowel, three consonants in a row. Similar in feel to “macho”—but subtly different in meaning. Stereotypically masculine. Nothing about me has ever been masculine, so how could I ever be butch?

Dickies pants became the rage when I was in high school. As an alternative-rock aficionado who obsessed over the sound and aesthetics of the movie Singles—it came out when I was 12 and changed my life—I knew I needed them. When I was 16 and had both a job and transportation, I made my way to the local Tillys to snag a pair. The black cotton twill was stiff under my fingers as I stepped into the pants and pulled them up.

The Dickies pulled against my hips, uncomfortably snug, and gaped so wide at my waist I could fit a fist between my skin and the cloth. I left the store disappointed. Why did I even bother? “Good, child-bearing hips,” people would tell me, even as an adolescent. I resigned myself to a presentation that never quite matched the ideal in my head.

VII. Soft butch

Despite my fitting comfortably under the queer umbrella, I’d never really given all that much thought to the specifics of my gender identity and expression. I met a trans man when I was 24 who used the same nickname I do, which made it easier to see our similarities, but I knew immediately that his path wasn’t mine. Later that year I met someone who epitomizes high femme, and, again, I could immediately see both how perfectly she embodied that expression, and how poorly it would suit me.

The person I thought of at the time as my boyfriend, then my husband, used to joke that I was the man in the relationship— despite my tender heart, my frequent tears, my undeniable softness—but I was more or less content in just knowing what I wasn’t. It seems possible I could have stayed in that liminal place forever, but then when we were in our mid-thirties, my wife came out as trans.

This is not a story of my adapting to my wife being trans. I’d always known we were both queer, and discovering I was married to a woman came more as a pleasant surprise than anything else.

What did happen, though, was that her coming out gave me permission to do more soul-searching, to try to pinpoint my gender identity and ideal gender expression. I first encountered the term “soft butch” in one of those joke “futch scale” charts—the ones that sort musical instruments or tropical fruits on a scale from high femme to stone butch—but it stuck with me. It didn’t seem to be something I was allowed to call myself, though: image searches on Google or Pinterest just led to rows of photos of beautiful slender white people with artful short haircuts and distressed jeans. Lots of Kristen Stewart and Elliot Page and occasionally Justin Bieber. I am definitely too old and too fat to try to emulate those folks! Eventually I lamented on Twitter that I was drawn to the soft butch aesthetic but didn’t know if I could pull it off, given that I’m not thin. I quickly received a slightly baffled but firm response from a genderqueer acquaintance that of course I could. In some ways I’m still a kid, seeking others’ permission to accept myself.

I realize as I write this that I’m wearing what might be my quintessential soft butch outfit—it fits me almost without my trying. Distressed jeans—a pair that I stole from my wife long before she transitioned. They fit my hips and thighs beautifully, which means I have to cinch a belt tight to make them stay up around my waist, but I know how to manage that now. A close-fitting t-shirt celebrating a punk band I’ve seen in concert a good dozen times. Hair pulled back into a messy bun. Fuzzy gray slippers with arch support, because I’m a middle-aged fat person, so of course I have plantar fasciitis. A gentle breath before a firm statement: the perfect mixture of soft and butch.

[ilovemrhyde]

Since s0urbat won’t answer any of my questions, will YOU tell me what you dislike about the glass scientists so much?

ok sure by the way ive only read the first chapter before i got extremely bored and didn't bother to read more so if i get some things wrong feel free to correct me,

1. i hate how jekyll and hyde have different minds..? if that's the word??? i mean how hyde can speak to jekyll like he's an entirely different person. it seems more like a DID situation in the comic rather than jekyll being a shitty person and transforming into hyde to fulfill these shitty deeds, they're two different consciences in the comic.

2. the hyde design is ass im sorry, its a good design in general but it doesn't seem like it's good for hyde??? i mean he's described as fucking ugly in the book like so fucking ugly while in the comic he just screams twink (same goes with jekyll **WHY IS HE A TWINK HES 50 YEARS OLD** but someone told me that in the comic he's 30 is that true if it is that makes no sense what an odd choice to do)

3. ok don't cancel me but its victorian times right? why is every character I've seen queer, like don't get me wrong yes queer people have existed for the longest time possible but EVERY character I see in tgs is queer. like im gay myself but i think it gets to a point no?

4. i hate the fact that utterson only appears like once in the comic and that he's an easter egg character, i understand that he's the main character of the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde so they decided to not involve him, but he still contributes alot ALOT to the plot of j+h (im not writing the full name again.) so i hate that ALSO WHEN HE DOES APPEAR HIS DESIGN IS FUCKING UGLY. this may be biased because he's my favourite character so haha...

5. the art in most of it is lowkey so ugly im sorry that's my opinion, i don't want to read a comic if the art style is genuine buns in my opinion.

6. i don't like jekyll x lanyon, that's just my opinion and i know the comic really pushes it, i don't want to read something that involves a ship i don't like you get me? i just don't see it happening but that's my opinion

mike oxlongs full statement of the case

i like posting hate about it just for fun since i geniually have nothing better to do LOL, i don't interact with tgs stuff at all, it appears on my tumblr feeds and fyp so i always skip it. i just like ranting about stuff i hate to my 4 tumblr followers. and as some tgs fans said they think my posts are funny so i guess in the end it all depends on humor. thank you for listening to my rant if ive gotten some things wrong please tell me

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my cousin i know he’s gay?

at the beginning of summer, my parents and i (20NB) visited my dad’s side of the family in the south. we stayed with an aunt and uncle, but the only person who really matters here is their son/my cousin (17M). i’d say he and i aren’t necessarily close. we get along just fine when we visit, but never really talk outside of that. i still care a lot for him, but we just don’t communicate much.

earlier this year, i heard from my dad that he got a boyfriend. i thought to send him my congrats, being the only other openly queer member of the family, but then i questioned why my dad even knew that. his side of the family is deeply conservative, and i knew for a fact that this kid’s dad had genuinely cried when trump lost the elections. it didn’t feel right for that knowledge to be so public, especially considering he and my dad aren’t that close, either. i asked him if my cousin had told him himself, and he said no. i asked him if my cousin had given permission to disclose that. he didn’t know how to respond to that. i’d previously been outed against my will to this side of the family, and it became obvious that that’s what happened to him, as well. i asked if his parents knew, and my dad said no. despite telling everyone and their dog about it, everyone was keeping it from them, likely out of fear for his safety. i was glad for that, at the least.

anyways. our visit went fine, in the grand scheme of things. what’s hanging on my mind is when i pulled my cousin aside one day to ask the family’s opinion on me, and if they ever talked about me behind my back. they all act cordially enough around me, using my proper name, pronouns, etc, but that’s to be expected. not only do they all care a lot for appearances, but when i first visited after coming out at 14, i had a horrible panic attack due to some of them constantly misgendering me. my dad gave them a stern talking to, and he’s the type of guy you don’t want to make angry, so thankfully it never happened again. i couldn’t ask this to my parents, because they tend to dance around the subject to protect me, or outright lie to me (i don’t hold it against them, as i said, they think it’s to protect me), but i knew he would tell the truth. i should mention that he hadn’t disclosed to me anything about his boyfriend or sexuality at this point, and i obviously wasn’t going to push.

he told me that yes, they did. i won’t go into the details, but it’s what i largely expected. after he finished explaining, he added “they talk a lot about me, too” or something along those lines. it was obvious what he was alluding to, but only because i already knew. had my dad not told me, i know that comment would’ve gone right over my head. so i played dumb. i laughed and asked what they could possibly say about him, and he was quick to stutter out something about how they gossip about everyone. the conversation stopped shortly after, but i can’t stop thinking about it.

the reason i lied and played dumb is that i wanted to give him some autonomy over his coming out. it was obviously ripped away from him by everyone else, and i know how shitty that feels. i wanted him to have a choice, for once. the thing is, i know i’m hypocritical for doing so. were i in his shoes, i’d want to know if i was forcibly outed, and by who. the reason that conversation even started was because i wanted someone to tell me the truth, and i ended up lying myself in the end. i don’t know. should i have told him? i wanted to give him the choice i never had, but i don’t know if that was selfish of me or not to project my feelings onto him like that. AITA for not telling him i knew?

What are these acronyms?