#but a big part of it is because he keeps getting fucked up in every scene lmao
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itneverendshere · 1 day ago
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - EIGHT
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of pregnancy; abortion.
MASTERLIST
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Topper prided himself in keeping out of people’s business.
He hadn’t noticed anything was off with you on his own, he wouldn’t have; he didn’t do the whole “emotional radar” thing.
But Rafe had practically cornered him, demanding he figure out what was going on with you.
You were his cousin, after all. 
That didn’t stop the way his stomach twisted from thinking about lying to you, or how every part of him had always silently rooted for you and Rafe. He’d loved seeing you two together. You were a mess most days, for years, sure, but it was the kind of mess that made sense in a way, and Topper couldn’t help but admire it.
You were like fire and gasoline.
But that was before the break-up, before everything got fucked.
Now, you were just… distant. He never knew how to approach you without feeling like he was crossing a line, but the way you’d passed out on Rafe at the beach had him worrying in a way that was more personal than he wanted to admit.
He wasn’t a thinker, not really, he liked simple things: good waves, cold beer, and not getting roped into drama.
But there he was, standing outside your door with Korean fried chicken. He didn’t do feelings, and he didn’t do heavy conversations. Rafe owed him big for this. The conversation had been good, even when you started talking about Sarah and Ruthie. 
Topper was all in—laughing along, throwing in a dumb joke here and there, the usual. It felt nice, like when you were kids, sneaking your dad’s beers and pretending you weren’t gonna get caught.
But then he had to go and ruin it by asking if you were okay.
You went all stiff, then weirdly far away, laughing it off like he’d just asked you to explain calculus or something. You mumbled something about being fine and then bolted to the bathroom before he could even follow up with his usual Topper-brand wisdom.
He sat there, feeling uncomfortable, which wasn’t a thing he usually did. You were acting off, and it was messing with him more than he wanted to admit.
Finally, he decided he needed to move, so he got up to grab some water. Except, as he walked past the counter, his hip caught a pile of your mail, and an envelope went sliding to the floor.
“Crap,” he muttered, crouching to grab it. It was just some random envelope, but there was a phone number written on the front in messy blue ink.
Topper didn’t think about it—because thinking wasn’t really his strong suit—he just whipped out his phone and typed it in. Curiosity, man. It got him every time.
He hit call. He wasn’t trying to snoop or anything. It was just one of those things you do on autopilot, right? Call a number just to see who answers? Except this time, someone did answer.
The phone rang. Once. Twice. Then:
“Women’s Health Center, how can I help you?”
His brain short-circuited, full-on panic mode. He stared at the phone like it had grown a second screen, then frantically hit the hang-up button just as the bathroom door creaked open.
You were back.
Topper, sweating for no reason, slapped the envelope back on the counter like it was about to explode and turned to you with a smile that definitely didn’t match his pounding heart.
He got out of there as soon as possible, as he drove to meet Rafe, the whole thing was still playing on a loop in his head. That phone number, the voice on the other end of the line, the way you’d acted when he’d asked if you were okay—he couldn’t stop trying to force the pieces into place.
Something was going on, he wasn't sure what, and he wasn’t exactly the guy you went to for deep insights, but he felt something was up.
When he pulled into Tanyhill, he spotted Rafe leaning against his truck, scrolling through his phone with that permanent scowl he seemed to have these days. He barely had the car in park before Rafe was pushing off the truck and heading his way.
He climbed out, doing his best to act normal—which, for him, meant cracking the same goofy grin he always did. His mind was still spinning with a dozen half-formed thoughts about that phone call, that clinic, and how the the fuck he might fit into all of it. 
The only thing he knew for sure was that Rafe knowing could be catastrophic. Like, meteor-hits-earth catastrophic.
“You gotta chill,” Topper said, slamming his car door shut and giving Rafe a once-over. “Why do you look like you’re about to punch somebody?”
Rafe just glared, shoving his phone in his pocket. “What’d you find out?”
He blinked, thrown by how fast he cut to the point. “Nice to see you, too. Second, what makes you think I found out anything?”
“Don’t fuck with me, Top. Did you figure it out or not?”
“Yeah, I figured it out,” Topper shot back, crossing his arms. “But why the hell did you make me go through all this work if you already know what’s going on?”
Rafe shrugged, leaning back against the truck like this was all just some casual conversation. “Didn’t think you’d actually get it, to be honest.”
“Bro, I’m not that stupid. How did you get to the bottom of this shit? I’m still confused as fuck over here.”
Rafe’s mouth twitched like he was deciding whether to smirk or yell, hesettled on neither. “She passed out on me, remember?”
“So?” Topper shot back, frowning. “I’ve seen you pass out for, like, way less.”
“It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a hangover or heat stroke, it was different. And she’s been weird lately, avoiding everyone.” Rafe leaned back against his truck, arms crossed, talking fast. “The hospital did blood work.”
Topper, who’d been zoning out halfway through his little doctor act, suddenly perked up.
“Wow,” he mused, dragging the word out. “Okay. So, how’d you take the news? I mean, shit, you look pretty calm for once. Didn’t think that was in your wheelhouse."
Rafe frowned, his sharp blue eyes narrowing, the crease between his brows deepening like it always did when he thought someone was wasting his time. 
"The fuck are you talking about?”
Topper shrugged like this was totally normal. “I just expected you to, like…freak out or somethin'. Throw a punch, maybe.”
“Throw a punch about what?” Rafe snapped.
“About—” Topper paused, squinting at Rafe like he was trying to solve a puzzle. “Wait. What are you supposed to do?”
Rafe’s hand twitched toward his jaw, fingers brushing over the stubble there, a telltale sign that he was gearing up to lose patience. He didn’t wait for Topper to answer before shaking his head, the movement quick and irritated. 
“Don’t do that, man,” he added, pointing a finger “I’ll help her figure it out. What else can I do?”
Topper tilted his head, genuinely impressed. “Damn. You really matured, huh? I mean, good for you.”
“Top, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Rafe demanded, his tone sharp now like he was finally catching on to the fact that they weren’t on the same page.
Topper blinked, “I’m just saying you’re handling it better than I thought. Especially since she’s not—uh, showing yet.”
“Not showing what?”
“…The bump?”
He immediately realized he’d said the wrong thing, or maybe the right thing, but in the wrong tone, with the wrong level of context, and—okay, maybe he should just stop talking. 
Abort mission, abort mission. Topper immediately wanted to crawl into a hole. Dude, shut up, shut up, shut up.
“What the fuck?” Rafe’s voice cracked; his eyes blazing as he stepped closer. “What bump?!”
His laugh fizzled out under Rafe’s glare, it was starting to feel less like “concerned ex-boyfriend” and more like “interrogating cop.” He felt a bead of sweat slide down the back of his neck. 
Cool. Stay cool.
“Wait,” Topper held his hands up, trying to physically stop the situation from spiraling. “What do you think is wrong with her?”
His brain was spinning in a way it wasn’t built for. He was a simple guy—he liked clear problems and easy fixes. But this? This was a category-five disaster, and he was stuck right in the middle of it.
Rafe let out a sharp breath through his nose, dragging a hand through his hair, the small strands sticking up in every direction.
“I think she’s got a fucking infection! Why the hell would I think she’s pregnant?”
Topper hesitated, glancing toward the house like maybe Sarah or Wheezie might miraculously appear to save him. No such luck.
“Well fucking shit,” Topper blurted, the words tumbling out in a rush. His heart was pounding, and he was pretty sure he’d just signed his death warrant. “I—I didn’t say she’s pregnant, okay? I found this number, and it was for a women’s health center, and—fuck, man, I’m dead. I’m so dead.”
Rafe grabbed him by the collar, yanking him close. “Start talking. Now.”
“I wasn’t snooping, okay? It just—happened. I wasn’t trying to get in her business, but—”
“But what?” Rafe barked. His other hand twitched at his side, curling into a fist before flexing out again, a warning of how close Topper was to eating pavement, but Rafe wasn’t the one he feared right now.
You were going to kill him.
He could already picture the look on your face when you found out—those cold, furious eyes, the way your voice would drop, he was officially dead meat. He gulped, his mouth dry as his brain scrambled for something—anything—that wouldn’t get him killed or disowned.
“You better explain what the fuck you mean by ‘happened,’” Rafe growled, his grip tightening, giving Topper’s collar a shake, just enough to make his point clear.
Topper was done, leaving nothing but pure panic and the faint, distant sound of his voice saying things he definitely shouldn’t. 
“I called the number!” Topper yelped. “I didn’t even mean to, it was—dude, she’s gonna kill me, and I mean that literally. She will.”
“Not if I kill you first,” Rafe shoved him back, his grip finally loosening, his face unreadable now, which was somehow worse than when he’d looked ready to punch him. “You’re telling me you think she’s pregnant? And you didn’t remember to tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t!” Topper said quickly, panic bubbling over. “It’s not like she’s gonna tell me this kind of stuff.”
“Did she say anything to you? Anything about seeing a doctor or being sick?”
Topper shook his head so fast it made him dizzy. “I asked if she was okay, but she just brushed it off and changed the subject.”
The silence that followed was thick and suffocating, both of them staring each other down.
“No, no way. She’s probably… I don’t fucking know, changing her pill or something.”
Topper raised an eyebrow. “Changing her pill?”
“Yeah,” Rafe said quickly, “Or—what else do they do there? Those check-up things. Maybe she’s getting one of those.”
“Uh-huh,” Topper replied, not convinced but also not dumb enough to call him out on it outright. “Sure. Just a… routine check-up?”
“Exactly,” Rafe agreed a little too loud, his tone almost defensive as he started circling again, his hands gesturing wildly. “They don’t just deal with… y'know. They do all kinds of shit. Tests, prescriptions, all that stuff. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Topper scratched the back of his neck, his expression caught between agreement and unease. “I mean, yeah, they do other stuff… but don’t you think—”
“I don’t think anything, there’s nothing to think about. She’s fine. She’s—she’s fine.” He stopped pacing, standing rigid with his hands on his hips, glaring at the ground like it had personally offended him.
“Okay,” Topper started, his tone cautious. “I get that you don’t want to jump to conclusions, but—”
“I’m not jumping to conclusions!” Rafe barked, spinning around “You’re the one making it into something it’s not! She’s not—she wouldn’t—she hasn’t told me anything,” He muttered finally, “And if she’s hiding this… from me…”
He’d never seen Rafe like this—angry, yeah, but there was something else there, either way, it wasn’t good. His glare burned into him, but for the first time, there was hesitation behind it. He wasn’t just mad—he was scared. Topper couldn’t decide if that made him feel better or worse. 
“Holy shit,” Rafe muttered, gripping the side of his truck for balance. His vision going fuzzy as his heart raced like he’d just sprinted a mile. “Holy shit, what if—what if she is?”
“Dude, breathe,” Topper said, stepping closer cautiously like Rafe was a live grenade. “You don’t even—”
“Even if—if—she was, how the hell would that even—” He cut himself off, his face twisting like he couldn’t decide whether to finish the thought or abandon it entirely.
Topper didn’t need him to finish, he understood exactly what Rafe was thinking. The timeline, the breakup, the way everything had gone down between you.
Rafe’s breath hitched as he let go of the truck and paced a few steps, his hands on his hips, muttering under his breath. “No. No way. It’s not—she’d tell me, right? She’d fucking tell me.”
Images started flashing through his mind in rapid succession, each one more ridiculous and unhinged than the last. You, standing in some clinic, staring at a test with a blank expression. You, trying to figure out how to tell Rafe.
You, holding a baby—Rafe’s baby—in your arms.
“This doesn’t make any sense. We were careful. She’s just stressed, girls go through shit. Hormones or whatever. Right?”
“You’re asking me? I barely passed bio. I’m not exactly a walking textbook on—” He stopped himself, seeing the look on Rafe’s face. “I don’t know what’s going on with her, okay? But if this is what I think it is, you gotta handle it right. Don’t screw it up more than it already is.”
“And if I don’t handle it right?”
Topper forced a shaky grin, even as his stomach twisted in knots.
“Then I guess I’ll see you in hell, man. Because she’s gonna kill us both.”
Rafe’s hands went to his hips, his thumb brushing the edge of his pocket as he stared past Topper, he was trying to work out an equation that wasn’t adding up.
“She hasn’t said a word to me,” Rafe muttered, “Not at the hospital, not since. And you think…” He trailed off, dragging a hand over his face. 
Topper shifted on his feet, resisting the urge to bolt to the other side of the world.
“I guess, but I swear, it wasn’t on purpose.”
Rafe shot him a look, his brows knitting together, and Topper felt like he was under a microscope. “You called a random number. How does that ‘just happen’?”
He huffed, throwing his hands up. “I was grabbing some water, and her mail fell, and there was this number—I didn’t think! I just… acted.” He groaned, his head falling back as he stared at the sky. “I didn’t mean to put two and two together, but what was I supposed to do? You’re the one who made me go digging in the first place!”
“You really think that’s what’s going on?” Rafe asked finally, his voice quieter.
“You said she’s acting weird, and then there was that number, and…” He trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. 
“Do you even understand what this means? If she’s—if there’s a—” He broke off, “I’d have to—Jesus Christ, what would I even do? I’m not—God.”
His hands gripped the edge of the truck bed so hard his knuckles turned white, the veins in his arms standing out as he glared at the ground like it had personally offended him.
“If she didn’t tell me—” His voice was low, quiet in a way that made Topper wince because he knew what came next.
“Maybe just... ask her?”
 “Ask her?” he repeated, his voice disbelieving.
“Yeah, you know,” Topper said, gesturing vaguely. “Talk to her? Maybe find out what’s going on instead of losing your shit over worst-case scenarios?”
Rafe shook his head, “No. If she wanted me to know, she’d tell me. She’s... she’s dealing with her own stuff. It’s not my place to push.”
 “Since when do you not push?”
“Since now,” Rafe snapped, though even he didn’t sound convinced.
“Rafe—”
“No, seriously,” Rafe interrupted, his voice rising now, the tight restraint unraveling with every word. “If she’s—if she’s going through this, if she’s pregnant, and she didn’t tell me?” He let out a bitter chuckle, “What the fuck does that say? About me.”
Topper opened his mouth, hesitated, then closed it again. This felt like a minefield, and if anyone was good at stepping on the wrong spot, it was him.
Rafe pushed off the truck, he couldn’t physically stay still. His eyes were burning as he raked a hand through his buzzed hair.
“I was—fuck. She thinks what? That I wouldn’t show up for this. She didn’t tell me because she doesn’t think I deserve to know.”
“That’s not true,” Topper said quickly, stepping closer, but Rafe’s empty laugh stopped him.
“Isn’t it?” Rafe’s voice was hollow now, all the fire drained out of him, turning his head slightly, just enough for Topper to see his throat working as he swallowed hard. “What the hell have I ever done to make her think I’d be there? That I’d—” He broke off. “Shit. I wouldn’t blame her. I can't even fucking blame her.”
“You still care about her, right?” Topper pressed, knowing he didn’t have to ask to know the answer.
Rafe’s head snapped up, “She’s the only thing I’ve ever cared about.”
He nodded slowly, “Then prove it.”
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The envelope sat exactly where you’d left it, the faintest corner of folded. You froze for a second, your pulse quickening.
No. No way.
It was fine. Fine.
The number wasn’t even labeled—just digits scrawled hastily, you hadn’t touched it in days. Still, you couldn’t stop the tiny seed of panic attaching itself to your chest. There was absolutely no way Topper could’ve seen it, let alone put two and two together.
You exhaled slowly, placing it back on the counter.
He didn’t see it. He couldn’t have seen it.
Then why had he acted so… off? The pale face, the sudden excuse, the jittery energy—it was all so unlike him.
You shook your head, trying to push the thought away, a million things could’ve set him off. 
Maybe Ruthie had texted him something awful, or maybe he’d remembered he had to pick up his dry cleaning before the shop closed. Knowing Topper, it was probably something stupid and unrelated to you entirely.
Still, the nagging lingered as you cleaned up the counter and threw away the napkins. You glanced at the envelope one last time, then slid it into a drawer and shut it firmly. Whatever was going on with your cousin, it couldn’t have anything to do with that. It was impossible. And yet…
You sighed, rubbing your temples. 
“Pregnancy brain,” you muttered to yourself. “Making me paranoid over nothing.”
Of course that didn’t stop your heart from jumping every time the drawer creaked, or when you saw anything even remotely similar to that envelope’s color lying around the house for the entire night. Not that he’d ask, of course—Topper wasn’t the confrontational type, especially not with you. But he noticed things. And when he noticed, he worried.
The next morning you sank onto the couch, hugging a pillow to your chest. Topper was close, but he wasn’t like Sarah. She had been able to look you in the eye and say, You know I’m here, right? and mean it without any strings attached. Topper, though…
Your fingers itched toward your phone, even though it was stupid to call her so early over this. Still, you needed someone to remind you that you weren’t losing it, that Topper’s weirdness had nothing to do with anything serious.
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you found Sarah’s number, pressing the call button. She picked up on the second ring, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
You could picture her, sitting in her car or probably stretched out somewhere in Poguelandia with her feet propped up on a table, looking concerned.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just…” You trailed off, fiddling with the edge of a pillow. 
“Topper’s been acting strange. And I think I’m just overthinking it, but it’s making me crazy.”
She made a sound between a hum and a laugh. “So the Topper panic spiral. That’s what we’re dealing with?”
“Basically,” you muttered, trying to keep your tone light. “But this time… He was here last night, and I thought he saw this random piece of paper I had with, you know. A number on it.” You took a shaky breath, embarrassed for how paranoid you sounded. “But he couldn’t have, right? I mean, it was buried under five other things.”
“Okay,” Sarah said slowly, clearly choosing her words. “First, let’s just say that if he did see anything, which he probably didn’t, he wouldn’t assume the worst. He’s your cousin; he knows you don’t tell him everything, and he respects that. Right?”
“Yeah… I guess.” You chewed your lip, feeling a little stupid for even calling her.  “But what if he does put it together, Sarah? I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“He won’t,” she reassured, like she could see right through your anxiety. “And you don’t need to feel bad for wanting to keep this private. You’re allowed to handle it however you need to. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
You exhaled, the knot in your chest loosening a little. She always knew how to talk you down, "Okay,” you murmured, and a shaky laugh slipped out. “Maybe I'm being paranoid.”
“Pregnancy brain,” she teased, and you couldn’t help but smile.
You hung up feeling marginally better.
Sarah had a way of calming you down, but the uneasiness stayed with you, the way it always did when you couldn’t fully explain something.
But the relief was fleeting, by lunchtime, the nagging voice in your head was back. Topper wasn’t malicious, but he did have a habit of talking without thinking, and the last thing you needed was for this to get out before you were ready. Not only was this a huge scandal, but it was your business.
You busied yourself with small tasks—folding laundry, wiping down the counters, pretending that everything was fine. It wasn’t until almost noon that your phone rang. The hospital’s number flashed on the screen, and your stomach dropped.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Miss Thornton?” the voice on the other end asked politely, too polite for comfort.
“This is she."
“This is Linda from the hospital. I’m calling about your recent bloodwork. We had a bit of an issue with our system, and unfortunately, there was a delay in getting back to you. We also lost some patient information temporarily—”
“Wait, what?” you interrupted, not liking where this was going, “What do you mean you lost information?”
“Oh, nothing to worry about,” Linda said quickly, as if that would make you feel better. “We managed to recover most of it, but in the meantime, we had to rely on emergency contact information to reach out. Dr. Harris called yours last night.”
Your breath caught. “Called... my emergency contact?”
“Yes.”
“Sarah Cameron? She didn’t tell me someone called.”
“She’s not listed as your emergency contact in our system, Rafe Cameron is. It might be an older record?”
Fuck.
Your heart was in your throat. “What... what did he tell him?”
“He only left a generic message asking for you to follow up about your bloodwork. Nothing specific.”
“Nothing specific,” you repeated, more to yourself than to her. Relief and panic warred within you. If Rafe knew, he’d already be there, the night before, demanding answers. Right?
“We need you to come back in. It’s possible you may have an infection, and we need to run a few more tests.”
You didn’t even hear the rest of her explanation.
Your fingers felt numb as you mumbled something that vaguely resembled agreement and hung up.
Infection, that was what she’d said. That was all it was. Not… not anything else. If it were anything else, they wouldn’t have just called—they’d have told Rafe.
“Stop,” you muttered aloud, shaking your head. “Stop spiraling.”
But your brain wouldn’t listen.
“Generic message,” Linda had said, but did it sound generic? What did he think when he got it? Had he laughed it off, or was he running his stupid pristine bedroom, piecing together clues you hadn’t even realized you’d left?
You didn’t want to text Sarah again.
You could imagine her smirking, “I told you, he’s not going to magically grow psychic overnight.” Yeah, sure, but this was Rafe.
He didn’t need magic. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on Sarah’s voice in your head. “You’re not doing anything wrong.”
Except it didn’t feel like that. You hadn’t thought about Rafe as your emergency contact in months, hadn’t needed to. 
You sank into the couch, hugging your knees to your chest.
“This is so stupid,” you muttered, but your voice didn’t make it feel any less real. You weren’t even sure what you were spiraling over anymore. The envelope? The hospital? The baby?
“Okay,” you said out loud. “Okay, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.”
The sound of your voice didn’t even convince you. Your brain wouldn’t stop jumping from one thing to the next, spinning every scenario you didn’t want to think about. 
What if he did know? If that was enough to set him off, to make him call someone, pull some strings...Shit, what if he did show up, and you had to explain why you were dodging everyone and keeping things from him and—stop. 
Stop. 
You were doing it again. The spiraling. The pregnancy brain Sarah teased you about like it was some sort of cute quirk, but wasn’t cute.
You sat up straight, squeezing the couch pillow so hard you thought it might burst. Breathe. Just breathe, you’d made it this far without imploding.
You glanced toward the drawer again, the one with the envelope. You should’ve burned it, shredded it first. No, you had to keep it—just in case. But just in case of what? Just in case you needed more reasons to feel like a lunatic.
Oh my god. What if Topper saw the stupid number, and then Rafe got the hospital call, and then—bam—suddenly, they had the whole damn thing figured out?
You could feel it already—the panic. You liked to think they were both too stupid for their own good, but they were also observant. Rafe, that bastard always knew how to put things together faster than anyone. 
What if—what if it’s that simple for them? What if they both saw it, and then they were just sitting there, having some stupid-ass conversation, connecting dots you didn’t even realize were dots?
No. Stop. Stop thinking like that.
You were getting carried away, jumping to conclusions like some manic soap opera character. You weren’t that girl. Not really. But the thought of them talking—Topper with his concern and Rafe with his overbearing intensity.
Your fingers tapped a frantic rhythm against the pillow. The idea of him figuring it out? Oh, that made your skin crawl. Not because he’d be cruel—no, that wasn’t his style. He’d just be so… himself.
Overwhelming, determined to “fix” things for you, even when you didn’t ask for it. 
You groaned, dropping the pillow and standing abruptly, like the movement might kill the growing dread. No, you told yourself firmly.
You weren’t spiraling over things that hadn’t even happened yet.
But the voice in your head, the one that always sounded a little too much like Rafe, had other plans: What if it’s already too late?
You paced the living room, arms crossed tightly over your chest. This was ridiculous, you were ridiculous. Nothing had happened, nothing was going to happen. The number wasn’t even that suspicious, it could’ve been anything.
You groaned again, flopping onto the couch like the dramatic mess you were currently embodying. Rafe had probably gotten the hospital call, rolled his eyes without a second thought, too busy with his new precious life.
Your stomach churned, and you pressed your hands against it instinctively. It wasn’t showing yet—thank god—but you couldn’t help the way your mind spiraled back to it, to all the ways this could go wrong.
You grabbed your car keys without thinking, maybe it would clear your head. A drive—that’s what you needed. Get out of the house, and put some distance between you and the stupid envelope, the phone calls, all of it. You turned the knob, yanked the door open—
—and froze.
Rafe’s hand was raised mid-air, clearly about to knock. You didn’t even try to hide the way your breath hitched. 
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Standing there on the porch like he hadn’t just derailed your entire plan. As if it was still perfectly normal for him to show up unannounced, one hand shoved into his pocket and the other gripping his phone, his head tilted in a maddeningly familiar way.
His hand hovered uncertainly on the doorframe as you stepped back, your arms folding protectively over your chest. He didn’t push past you, didn’t move his weight forward—just stood there.
He glanced down at the spare key still in his hand, turning it over like he was considering whether he even had the right to use it. “They called me last night.”
Okay, he was just here because of the hospital, a coincidence, that’s all it was.
“And? You could’ve ignored it.”
His hand flexed at his side like he didn’t know what to do with it. “I thought something might be wrong.”
“It’s not.” Your voice was clipped, cold. “They called the wrong number. End of story.”
He didn’t rise to the bait.
“I thought—” He cut himself off, exhaling sharply. “I thought you were sick.”
“Like I said, it was a mix-up.”
His jaw ticked. That tiny muscle in his cheek twitched, the one that always flared when he was suspicious.
“Funny, they didn’t sound mixed up when they said your name,” he drawled, his tone probing. “Wanna try again?”
“Mind your fucking business,” Your voice was defensive, and you hated the crackle of guilt in your chest when he flinched. “I don’t need you to pretend to care. Why are you even here?” you snapped, taking a step back. The space between you felt vulnerable. “Don’t you have someone else to worry about?"
You felt cornered with every second he stood there.
“We need to talk.”
Maybe if you acted calm, like nothing was wrong, he’d stop looking at you like that. Vulnerability wasn’t something you were good at, he’d already taken too much. He always took too much.
“I don’t owe you shit. Not explanations, not answers, nothing. Leave.”
He didn’t. Of course, he didn’t.
Rafe didn’t know how to let shit go, not when it came to you, he didn’t back away.
“You’re right,” he said, surprising you. “You don’t, but I’m not leaving until we talk.”
The way he said, it wasn’t even a threat. It was worse than that. It was calm, resolute, like he’d already decided, and nothing you said or did could change it. 
That scared you more than anything.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you hissed, “Whatever you think you know, you don’t.”
He arched an eyebrow, his eyes flicking to the edge of the couch where your phone still sat, “You sure about that?”
“God, you’re always like this. Always overstepping, always assuming—”
“I know."
All the noise in your head—your spiraling thoughts, your excuses, your endless denials—went silent, except for the way your heart thudded in your chest, so fast, it hurt. He hadn’t raised his voice, but those two words hit you like a kick to your chest.
No, he couldn’t—he didn’t, he was bluffing, he had to be. Air caught in your throat, and for a moment, you thought you might choke on it. He didn’t move, didn’t repeat himself. He couldn’t know.
Your tongue went dry. 
“What are you talking about?” You couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone was squeezing your chest. You shook your head again, more violently this time, stepping back, “You don’t know shit.”
“I think I do.” His voice was quiet, and that made it worse, it wasn’t cold or angry; it wasn’t even accusing. He didn’t sound like he wanted to be right, he just sounded tired.
You prayed to come up with something—anything—to deflect, to deny, to keep the truth buried where it belonged. 
“You’re delusional,” you took another step back, putting more space between you and the man who had always known you too well.
He just shook his head, “You don’t have to lie to me, you’re scared, you’re not even trying to hide it.”
It was the way he stared with those stupid blue eyes, he was peeling back your layers. He always did that, made you feel like he could see something in you that you weren’t ready to acknowledge.
“Oh, fuck off.” You threw your hands up. “You don’t know shit about what I’m feeling. You’ve got no right to—I’m not lying.”
It still hurt how much you missed him, hurt to even look at him.
“Don’t pull this cryptic bullshit with me, if you’ve got something to say, say it.”
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
The thing you’d been running from, denying, hiding, you simply stared at him, trying to decide if there was any way to lie your way out of this.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” You tried to laugh, but it came out strangled, desperate. “T-That’s insane. You’ve lost your mind.”
Rafe wasn’t gloating or triumphant—he just looked… resigned, he’d pieced it together before he showed up.
“Don’t do that. Don’t lie to me, not about this.”
You wanted to scream, to shove him, to do anything that would make him stop looking at you like he cared. Like he knew you. Because if you stopped long enough to think about it, you knew it was over.
He’d already seen it.
“I mean it, Rafe.” Your hand tightened on the door, nails digging into the wood. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
God, this was so fucked. You wanted him gone, but wanted him here, needed him to leave you alone, but at the same time, you hated that he could just leave.
“Tell me I’m wrong.”
You thought about what he’d do if he knew—really knew. Not just the vague sense he had now, but the details. Would he try to stop you? 
Your lip quivered, and you hated yourself for it. “You’re wrong.”
You stared at him, at the way his shoulders hunched slightly, his usual confidence worn down. You hated him for being calm for once in his fucking life, for being here, for not letting this slide when it was none of his fucking business.
“Am I?”
Your hands clenched tighter, nails biting into your palms. “Why? Why do you even care? It’s not like you—”
“Because it’s mine.”
Your breath hitched again, and this time, you couldn’t hide it. You wanted to deny it, to throw something—hell, anything—back at him to make him shut the fuck up. But your throat felt like it had shut off entirely, and your mind had gone blank.
“I—” you stammered, shaking your head violently, “No. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re—”
“Hey, hey, just—just stop,” he said, his voice careful, as if he was trying not to spook you. “I’m not—Jesus, I’m not here to fight with you, okay? I’m not here to make this harder.”
Your chest heaved, a bitter laugh escaping before you could stop it. He was too late—late to care, late to help, late to fix anything. Five days, that’s all you had to get through.
Five days until you didn’t have to think about it anymore. 
This is the right choice, you told yourself for the hundredth time. You couldn’t bring a baby into this mess.
“You’re doing a hell of a job at that.”
“I just want to help. If you let me—”
“No,” you interrupted, grabbing the edge of the door. “I’m fixing it.”
“Fixing—?” Rafe’s brow furrowed, his confusion almost comical He started to step forward, but you stopped him with a resentful glare that made him stop. “What does that even mean?”
“It means you can take your fake concern and shove it up your ass.”
His brow furrowed. “It’s not fake—” His face twisted in confusion, mouth opening like he was about to argue, but you didn’t give him the chance, slamming the door in his face, so hard the frame rattled.
“Of course. Of course, it’s mine,” you muttered to yourself, mocking his stupid, self-righteous tone.
You leaned back against the door, sliding to the floor, arms crossed over your knees as your brain whirred like it was trying to kill you.
It wasn’t like you had a choice.
Technically, you did, but what were you supposed to do? Keep it and become a tragic sob story? The words almost felt like you’d ripped them out of someone else’s mouth, right or wrong didn’t even matter anymore. There wasn’t space in your life for this—for him, for a baby, for any of it.
A muffled knock sounded from the front door—tentative, like he was giving you a moment.
“Go away,” you yelled, your voice hoarse.
“Open the door.”
Your thoughts taunted you with memories and possibilities you didn’t want to entertain. The way Rafe had looked at you—like he knew—it was unbearable.
How had he put it together? Maybe you'd slip up in tiny ways, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for him to follow. You hated yourself for being so careless, despised him even more for being so fucking relentless.
You wiped your cheeks roughly, not realizing you’d started crying until your sleeve came back damp.
“Please, just open the door. We can talk—just talk, okay?
“No,” you muttered to the empty room. “No, I’m not doing this.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, leaning your head back against the door and pressing your hands over your ears to block him out. 
“Don’t shut me out like this,” he begged. “I can’t—fuck, I can’t stand it when you do this. Just open the door. Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking.”
He had a key. If he wanted to, he could let himself in at any moment, but he didn’t, that wasn’t the Rafe you were used to.
Before, he'd have barged right in, shouted until your ears bled, and demanded answers. He would’ve tried to fix it or destroy it, maybe both. 
You hated that he still acted like he cared, that he was trying to be so fucking reasonable now, when just a few months ago, he would’ve lost it, broken through any barrier to get what he wanted.
This was worse, this Rafe was wearing you down.
Another hushed plea made it through the door, but all you could think was how thin the wood felt, how it barely drowned the sound of his voice. A new door might be better, something heavier, more solid, that could drown out everything—the desperation, the crack in his voice.
Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, and you bit hard on the inside of your cheek to keep them from falling. 
“I know you’re scared,” he continued, “And I know you think I’ll screw this up—God knows I probably will. But please don’t keep me in the dark. Just tell me what’s going on.”
You pictured flipping through hardware store catalogs, weighing your options: oak? steel? soundproofing foam?
“Please,” Rafe whispered, and the rawness in his voice scraped against you like nails on a chalkboard. You tilted your head back against the door, willing yourself not to cry again. 
Steel doors don’t warp as easily as wood.
You swallowed hard, your body aching as you fought the sob threatening to escape. He didn’t deserve this—didn’t deserve to sound so wrecked over you. He'd done this to himself.
Your fingers twitched against the door handle, the temptation to open it curling around you, but instead, you thought about bolts.
Deadbolts, a second lock could work, something he couldn’t get through even if he had the key.
His voice wavered again, you thought he might start crying, too, yet all you did was glance at the base of the door. A better seal would muffle the noise more. Maybe weatherstripping? That could help.
You pressed your hands tighter over your ears, as though it would help. It didn’t. Nothing would—not until you replaced the lock, the door, the memory of him standing there and breaking himself open for you.
God, you really needed a new door—and a new heart.
One that didn’t twist at the sound of his voice, that didn’t flinch every time he called your name like it was a prayer. A heart that didn’t feel for him, you told yourself, over and over, like a mantra. If you could just stop the way your chest tightened at his pleas, stop the ache in your ribs when he said he couldn’t let this go.
You wanted steel walls, that could keep everything out—his voice, his touch, the memories of all the good parts of him that had kept you hanging on for so long. Because of this heart? It was useless, too soft, too easily swayed, still willing to believe him, even when you knew better.
“Please, just talk to me,” Rafe begged. You bit your lip hard enough to taste blood.
You couldn’t help but wonder if this calmness came from Sofia.
Perhaps she was the reason he’d changed, maybe she had somehow made him different, had softened the sharp edges of the guy you used to know. She was calm, collected—nothing like you. It hurt like a bitch, the thought that someone else could make him this patient. You wondered if she’d taught him how to handle his emotions, how to be this way—he’d learned some secret he never bothered to share with you.
You couldn't let yourself go there, couldn't let the bitterness of that thought settle in your mind for too long.
“Talk to me.”
No. Not this time.
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TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige
@rafebb @rafesbby @whytheylosttheirminds
@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron
@serrendiipty @sunny1616 @yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog
@psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei
@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2
@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt
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hoshifighting · 12 hours ago
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the sex ''ick's'' seventeen would give
WARNINGS: it's just for fun, and it doesn't match what the members do out there—so if you don't like, dont read.
seungcheol: his damn ass clapping louder than anything else in the room. like, the rhythm is giving standing ovation, and he’s completely unaware. if you dare mention it, he’ll pretend he didn’t hear.
jeonghan: he’d spend the whole day teasing you, promising he’s gonna ruin you later, only to nut in two minutes flat or tap out ‘cause his arms are tired “ugh, it’s so hot in here,” or “my legs are cramping.”
joshua: crying after nutting. he’s suddenly sniffling, you even got startled on the first time, his body getting REALLY sensitve.
junhui: he’ll mirror your moans, badly. you moan? he mimics it, but it sounds like a parody. like, he thinks he’s harmonizing, but it’s straight-up cringe. you try to ignore it, but he just keeps going.
hoshi: fucking u fully naked, except for his damn stoompas (those ugly-ass luxury brand chunky shoes). “they give me grip,” he’d say, like he’s at a crossfit competition, not blowing your back out. the sight of those big-ass sneakers ruins the vibe every time. (illustrative photos)
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wonwoo: absolutely no facial expressions. man could be balls deep in you, and his face is blank, like he’s doing math in his head. but in fact, he's just daydreaming.
woozi: soundtrack enthusiast. he’d insist on playing a playlist he made just for you, but it’s all anime OSTs. like, nothing kills the vibe faster than hearing some intense battle music while he’s thrusting.
minghao: if you’re on top, he’d start giving unsolicited feedback. “tilt your hips a little more—yeah, like that. now, slower.” thinks he’s teaching a masterclass while you’re just trying to survive on his cock.
mingyu: checking himself out mid-thrust. fixing his hair in the mirror. if you call him out with a “are you fucking me or yourself?” he’d blush “n-no, I’m focusing on you!”
seokmin: laughs during the dirtiest parts, like a full belly laugh because he’s nervous or thinks something’s funny. he just goes, “HAHAHA—ah! sorry, I don’t know why I did that.” it’s cute tho...
seungkwan: every little thing is exaggerated—he’s gasping like he’s in a soap opera, grabbing his chest like he’s about to faint. you move slightly? “oh my god, I’m gonna DIE babe!”
vernon: won’t take off his adidas tracksuit. every damn time, it’s on—jacket unzipped, pants pushed down, and he’s acting like this is perfectly normal. while you're getting dizzy almost, from the adidas long lines, and from seeing this tracksuit for the zillionth time this month. [im feeling it too personally bc my dad uses tracksuit's often 😭]
chan: overexplaining everything he’s doing. like, “okay, so now I’m gonna flip you over, and then I’ll go deeper, and—”
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doeidawn · 3 days ago
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18+ MDNI
something something john price getting talked into coming to some fancy party held by some big name contractors and PMCs. he'd literally rather be dead than stand any longer in a suit and force himself to make eye contact with people who cared more about paying for warfare than the cost of lives.
cut to him spotting you somewhere across the way, dressed up nice and tensing your shoulder with every tight-lipped smile that he recognizes oh so well as a forced attempt at politeness. he doesn't recognize you, but you sure know his face well; the infamous john price, known for doing the dirty work no one else will touch.
quickly you find out you were both victim to laswell's "connections are good, try to mingle" speech. and after two glasses of champagne more expensive than your rent and debating which contractor had the biggest price on their head, he's walking you out to your car in a feigned attempt at propriety. it was as good an excuse as any to get out of the stuffy room. but, more importantly to him it seemed, it was an excuse to keep talking to you.
and something something he nearly pops your arm out of socket dragging you into the backseat of the car. hugging you against his chest, heavy hands on your hips while he grinds against you. he's hot and sweaty and too damn impatient. pawing at your clothing, greedy to feel every part of you he can manage. helping you hold steady while you sink onto his thick and eager cock.
he's fucking up into you before you're ready to take it because he just can't stop himself. all frustration and pent-up energy, desperate to feel some control again, his fingers dig into the fat of your hips while he bullies his cock deeper and deeper. the car's rocking with each thrust but neither of you care. it's so hot and the air is thick and heavy and you're both sweating but it feels so damn good that neither of you want to stop.
when he's finally done—having spilt such a pent-up and thick load inside you that you can already feel it starting to trickle out of you—he's promising to be a bit more romantic next time, take it slower and work you up with his mouth like you really deserve. consider it a thanks for letting him blow off some steam. maybe he even gives you some money for the mess and hassle, suggesting it go towards investment for tinted windows.
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runninriot · 10 hours ago
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Backstage Romance (I Want It Bad)
written for @steddiesongfics
song: Backstage Romance (Moulin Rouge! The Musical) | rated: E | wc: 7.018 | tags: Rockstar Eddie Munson, Manager Steve Harrington, Famous Corroded Coffin, secret hookups, dom/sub undertones, angst, smut, ambiguous/open ending | complete fic on ao3
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Eddie is buzzing, high on adrenaline like always when they’re playing a show. He’s still not used to this, it’s still something he can’t quite wrap his head around – to watch people dance and sing along to their songs, to hear their roaring applause and deafening whistles, to know they’re here for them.
It’s electrifying.
A fucking dream.
They’re still considered newcomers but Corroded Coffin are finally climbing their way out of the gutter; they’re making it, step by step, and one day not too far in the future, they’ll be on top.
It’s all Eddie ever wanted, all he and his best friends have always fantasized about back when they were still a bunch of loser kids dreaming of becoming rockstars while terrorising Gareth’s poor parents (and the whole neighbourhood, really) with the horrible noise coming from their garage.
The dream is reality now, success not only a possibility but a fact. It would be poison for Eddie's already too big ego but thankfully, there's always someone bringing him back down to earth when he gets carried away.
They’ve got a label now, signed record deal and all and-
   “Great show, guys! The people seemed to really love the new song.”
Yeah, and that. They’ve got a manager now, too.
Steve Harrington.
The guy whose appearance makes him stick out like a sore thumb from the sea of blacks and greys and dark reds around him. The guy who doesn’t look the part but actually likes what they do. The guy who doesn’t give two fucks about what others think of him because he’s not here to make friends, he’s here to do his job. And he’s pretty good at that.
Good at a lot of things.
At first, Eddie hated the idea of having a fucking babysitter on tour with them. Someone to watch their every move, someone to keep them out of trouble (where’s the fun in that?), to make sure they don’t fuck up their reputation. Someone to handle all their business affairs for them, as if they couldn’t take care of it themselves.
Now, Eddie’s actually glad they have someone to deal with everything – from interview requests and setting up their tour schedule to negotiating their contracts and booking their gigs. Steve handles it all, allowing the band to enjoy the fruits of their labour without having to deal with the annoying parts of being in the music business.
And that should be all there is to it. Just a business relation based on what’s in the band’s best interest.
But it’s not.
Not behind the curtains, backstage, when no one is looking. Where, hidden in dark corners, Steve and Eddie share a secret.
A secret that could ruin it all.
Because it’s unprofessional, could get them both in trouble. Could get Steve fired, possibly. Maybe even put Eddie’s – if not the whole band’s – career on the line if the public ever found out about it.
But that just makes it even more thrilling.
Eddie has always been drawn to that, the forbidden, things that could cause irreparable damage. And throughout his life, he’s come to ask himself more than once if this is really worth it. If it’s worth risking it all just for giving in to his reckless impulses.
But the answer has always been the same. Now even more so than ever.
He knows it’s wrong, dangerous, a game he shouldn’t be playing because playing with fire will get him burned.
The problem is that he’s a sucker for the pain.
And being ruined by Steve Harrington is worth everything.
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continue reading here
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divinecrimson · 2 days ago
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FCK ME EMO BOY! HAN TAESAN HC
Warnings: cum eating, mxf, cursing, piercings, music, degrading, praise, aftercare, smut, choking, slapping, rough sex, soft sex, pet names; mama, love, baby, good girl” bitch, whore, slut, loser taesan, simp behavior.
MDNI BELOW THE CUT ~|~ HEAD-CANNONS
Emoboy!taesan!; PT.2
Emoboy!taesan! Who loses himself inside you once you cum because he knows that now he has the green light to focus on himself and not the accurate thrusts he had been giving you. “F-fuck I’m gonna cum baby—“
Emoboy!taesan! Who gets his tongue and nipples pierced knowing what it’s going to do to you and allows you to try them all out once they are healed.
Emoboy!taesan! Who knows that you own him but doesn’t shy away from putting you in your place when you need it. “Stop fucking playing with me”- as he gives you such deep thrusts from behind while your in a headlock.
Emoboy!taesan! Who loves to eat a mix of your cum taking it as a reminder that you own every part of him both inside and out and of course he loves the taste.
Emoboy!taesan! Who degrades in such an evil way but knows when to make it worse. He will start of a little nicer and then get meaner as he fucks you. “Look at you. Can’t even take my cock.” - “such a nasty bitch for me hmm?” As he pounds you into the bed making sure to press down on your back.
Emoboy!taesan! Who loves to make you cum no matter from what it’s from if it’s his mouth, fingers, cock, and even toys he loves to make you cum. “So pretty when you cum for me baby”
Emoboy!taesan! Who knows how big his cock is so he gives you time to adjust but once you do he’s giving you slow deep strokes pressing down on your neck as your legs wrap around his hips making sure to change the amount of pressure he applies. “There we go…just take it love.”
Emoboy!taesan! Who loves when you ride him because the feeling of the entirety of your weight pressing his hips down into the mattress makes his eyes roll.
Emoboy!taesan! Loves to watch you run from his cock. He knows it means he’s making you feel too good to where you can’t handle it and his cock gets even harder. “Mama…just cum for me”
Emoboy!taesan! Loves nasty sex. Spitting in your mouth, making your squirt, spitting on your pussy, watching you drool on his cock, he just loves the way liquids look on your body it’s such a turn on for him.
Emoboy!taesan! Who will let you be in control whenever you want to unless he’s mad at you. “Oh you wanna ride me love? Okay do as you wish baby. Use me.”
Emoboy!taesan! Has brutal backshots. He will overstimulate himself focusing on beating your poor pussy up. He will watch your pussy suck up his big cock over and over forgetting to focus and he’ll slam into you after forgetting to keep a certain pace to not overwhelm you.
Emoboy!taesan! Who has a list of goals memorized for you. 1- find that spot, 2-make you cum two different ways, 3- switch it up. You never know what to expect for number three and that’s why you always cum so much he keeps it interesting and safe as well.
Emoboy!taesan! Who loves when you pull his hair. He likes feeling the way your nails grip his hair and the way you taste on his tongue as you do that makes him go crazy and he can’t help but to force and orgasm out of you. “S-shit-“
Emoboy!taesan! Who eyes sharpen before he fucks you like he switches from a loser simp to a daddy so fast that it’s hard to comprehend but he also will be a baby just for you.
Emoboy!taesan! Who has a playlist of all types of singers when he fucks you but sometimes if he wants to hear you scream he turns it off.
Emoboy!taesan! Who has your body and actions memorized to the point where you don’t need a safe word but he still has one for you incase he gets too lost inside your pussy.
Emoboy!taesan! Who always asks for consent even when he’s mad. He knows what it’s like to not want something and he makes sure your okay with what he wants to give you.
Emoboy!taesan! Who likes to slap your ass and tits as well as your pussy but even if you ever asked him to slap your face he wouldn’t not even just a little tap. It’s something he’ll never do.
Emoboy!taesan! Who will let you use him for your own pleasure. After all that is his first priority. How you feel always comes first to him. He will watch you ride him and he will even guide your hips in a circle or in all types of ways to get you to cum. “Say it’s yours.”
Emoboy!taesan! Who notices that when he hits that spot he teases you. He will feel his tip slam into it and mutter out “mmh mmh mmh” as if saying, I got you right where I want you now.
Emoboy!taesan! Who isn’t scared to moan. He will let you know when you feel super good which is always. He doesn’t care too much about his masculinity and even knows that it’s way hotter for a man to let out his moans so he knows you love it.
Emoboy!taesan! Who tries not to jerk off unless he’s away for periods of times because he knows once’s he’s back inside you he will feel even better from the lack of stimulation from not jerking off.
Pt.2??!?!
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supernotnatural2005 · 1 day ago
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Imagine sending Jensen a thread of filthy texts whilst watching him perform a gig 👀
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AN: This was purely based off of this gif set. Because hot damn!!! 🥵🥵
Warnings: Language, suggestive texts, smutty thoughts - 18+ ONLY
Main Masterlist
Jensen's Masterlist
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You stood at the back of the crowd, figuratively keeping your head down as you quietly supported your boyfriend’s band, Radio Company. 
Jensen had a lot of fans, even in your hometown of Austin, and you wanted to keep a low profile so as not to draw any attention to yourself. You were not a celebrity by any means, maybe now by proxy because of your relationship with him, but still, you liked to maintain your privacy. 
Jensen just handled the attention better; he was a natural. Maybe it was for the fact he’d been in the limelight for the better part of over 3 decades, but you think it was also because he was just so genuine. You truly admired him for it. Supernatural had created such a loving and welcoming fanbase that exceeded even beyond the show's eventual end. 
It was incredible to witness and even be a part of for the last few years. So it was no surprise to you that they would support him with his other talents. 
You watched on in astonishment, as per usual, as he sang the last lines of their song—Drowning. One of your personal favourites because it showcased just how beautiful Jensen’s voice really was. He never ceased to amaze you, even now, nearing the 4 years you’d been together.
However, you too enjoyed keeping him on his toes. It was only fair. Though, the way he looked up there, glistening with sweat from his efforts and from the August heatwave up here in Austin; his sleeveless arms gloriously tanned and toned, his longer locks damp and slicked back with a casual hand and bearded jaw. He was only to blame for what you did next. 
You pulled out your phone as the band took a mini break to take a drink and talk to the crowd and opened your text thread with Jensen. 
‘You have no idea how hot I am for you right now.’ 
‘What I’d give just to kiss you, to touch you, to taste you.’ 
‘I’m so wet for you I can feel it between my thighs, every time I move.’ 
‘I wish you could come find out what you do to me.’
The words kept coming, flowing through your thumbs as you tapped away at the keyboard, sending one after the other, getting filthier and filthier with each one. 
‘Fuck, I’m so horny I’d let you fuck me in the restroom after your set.’ 
‘Would you like that baby?’
‘Feel your big cock slip so easily inside me?’
You bit your lip, blushing at your boldness and the increasing wetness between your legs. You were only torturing yourself at this point, but as you looked up, you saw your boyfriend’s frown and him reaching for his phone in his jeans pocket. 
Your heart began to race, heat, other than from the warmth of the room, licking up your spine, tingling your fingers through to your toes. You watched his face go from confused to bewildered to mad. His jaw ticking and the tightening grip on the device were telltale signs you’d pushed his buttons. 
His eyes flicked quickly to where you stood in the back, flipping you off with a look that would only intimidate the unexpected. But you knew differently. That was a look that said, “You’re going to be punished for that when we get home.” The thought alone sent another thrill of excitement through you.
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AN: oof 🥵😅 just a quick little impulsive imagine that hit me. But can you blame me! Look at him! 😍 (also as a side note: i have nothing against his wonderful family, this is just purely fiction.) As always, feedback is much appreciated! 💕
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hexxbug · 2 days ago
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ACT 3!!
I can't believe it's over :((
This is probably more analysis than the other ones I've done lol, spoilers below :o
─ ─ ──┉─ ¡! • !¡ ─┉── ─ ─
AHHHHH so sad, I loved it sm
Timebomb!!! I don't ship it a lot, I prefer them platonically icl but it was sooo cute! (the au has won me over though lol but I personally still think in the main timeline they wouldn't be together, maybe Ekko has a crush on her but I hc Jinx as either aroace or just not in a place to be interested in romance)
AND WE GOT MORE EKKO!!! FINALLY!!!!
I think they should've given us a couple extra episodes because him and Heimerdinger, Mel and the whole Jayce Viktor story did not get enough screen time imo, could've done with a bit more interaction idk
Claggor glancing at Mylo, now I may be projecting but that was NOT subtle🤨🤨😏🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈
HEIMERDINGER STAYED BEHIND!! NOOOOOO. he was such a silly guy I was very sad
Cait being like "who decides who gets a second chance" like it wasn't her busting Vi out of jail like 6 months prior
JINX SHE WAS SO BROKEN😭😭😭😭MY POOR LASS
lowkey wish we'd got to see her go absolutely batshit over Isha's death but I get the direction they went in (or just been able to see more of their reaction and recovery from her death in general)(because that shit was glossed over)
Vi being so upset and destroyed about Jinx, saying she shouldn't have done this and then Cait going mf I practically engineered this whole encounter😭😭😭
CAITVI IS A GO!!! I REPEAT CAITVI IS A GO!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHGGG THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE!! I really love how the scene played out
VI'S "Cait I don't FUCKING CARE" just marry her already (ngl not the way I thought that confession would go but I'm glad it was pretty happy)
MEL!!!! I love her character design smmmm it keeps getting better and better🤩🤩🤩she needed more time and practice with her powers though I think they rushed that a bit.
HE REALLY WAS THE BOY SAVIOUR!!!!! COMING IN CLUTCH THERE AT THE END
JAYCE. VIKTOR. YOU GAY MFSS LMAO (platonic or romantic they are so in love) I also think they rushed their whole story because both of them were suddenly like "oh yeah besties again✨✨" and I wanted a bit more story there but THEY STARTED IT TOGETHER AND THEY ENDED IT TOGETHER🥲🥲(they basically saved Piltover with the power of friendship)
JINX NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm not okay💔 I know it's what she wanted, really, but it felt so flat idk I wish she'd lived and come to terms with every (also I love her and she needs to come back so that's probably why I didn't like it too lmaoo)(ik she fell like a hundred stories or whatever and canon divergence is a thing but my girl is a big part in LoL so maybeeeeee????)(I'm once again in denial....)
ALSOOO CAIT WAS LOOKING AT THE BLUEPRINTS FOR THE HEXGATE AND HAD JINX'S BOMB SO I WILL STAY UNDER MY LITTLE DENIAL ROCK THANKYOU VERY MUCH
Honourable mentions:
Heimerdinger being like "you sure it's 4 seconds???" and Ekko just like •_• "mmmhm yep definitely" poor guy was TRAUMATISED😭😭😭it was so funny to me
All the outfits in ep 7, I loved them! ALSO THE DANCE SCENE!! SO SWEET
LEST!! I wanted to see more of her she was so cool!
The blue haired woman who died:(( rip to a queen
And the guy who took over manning the hex gun🫡
Maddie, ngl I wasn't expecting her to betray Cait but it was unsurprising really, I would've loved to see what she'd make of the aftermath and better terms the city's are on but it was also a very dramatic moment for Mel and I liked the twist lol.
FIRELIGHTS(EKKO) FIGHTING TOGETHER WITH JINX!!!! AYYY
Just the whole union of Piltover and Zuan in the fight against Ambessa and the Herald(I wanted more build up for that too tbh but anyway)
VIKTOR GOING THROUGH ALL THE TIMELINES TO FIX IT AND IT BEING JAYCE!!!
The sweet little Cait and Vi scene at the end🥹
My mum who's been subjected to all of S2 and her main comment at the end was "I'm still a bit confused" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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hypnoneghoul · 14 hours ago
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Symbol on the Surface Chapter 13
WC: 1,5k
Relationship: SwissAlps
Tags: Transmasc Swiss, Pregnancy, Mild Dysphoria, Fluff
“Do you know what ‘seahorse dad’ means?”
Notes: Tysm to @jimothybarnes for beta reading :3
Chapter 1 here or on AO3.
Read chapter 13 under the cut or on AO3.
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It has always been rare for Swiss to feel dysphoric, and even though he’s been experiencing it more since he started showing, it still doesn’t happen that much.
It’s only sometimes that he’ll catch a glimpse of his reflection somewhere and fall down an ugly spiral that he has to be fished out of by his mate.
By the time Christmas comes around, Swiss is five months pregnant and he is huge.
Being ghouls, they don’t really celebrate Christmas, but everyone loves the atmosphere and the fun of it, so every year they simply…skip the christian parts. Most of the Abbey does; it’s a big thing and the name of the festivities is up to everyone’s personal preference—Christmas, Yule, Winter Solstice, or nothing at all.
One of Swiss and Mountain’s favorite parts about that time are sweaters. They love getting matching Christmas sweaters that half the world’s population would cringe at; they have so many stuffed in the back of their closet—waiting for their time to shine year after year.
Unfortunately, this year they have not accounted for Swiss’ current size. It’s been so busy, neither of them thought about the sweaters until they saw someone else wearing them and remembered about their little custom.
The multi ghoul tries. He looks for the most stretchy sweater there is and gets Mountain’s, instead of his own. They are a little oversized, anyway, it should work.
More or less…
“It’s okay if it doesn’t fit, darling, we don’t have to wear them this year,” Mountain assures him, but he knows Swiss won’t budge—and it’s not only about the damn sweater. It’s about tradition, but also about how his body is changing. He doesn’t particularly like it.
Swiss grunts as he wiggles into the sweater—refusing his mate’s offer of help—and eventually he does get it stretched over his baby bump, but the knitwear is holding on for dear life.
Mountain sighs, looking down at a strangely distorted reindeer. He looks up at the multi ghoul’s face when he hears him sniffle, though, and his heart breaks a little.
“Oh, my darling…” he coos, coming up to Swiss to hug him. “It’s okay, we can find you a different one that doesn’t squeeze you so much. Maybe Aether or Omega have something.”
“It’s not–not about the sweater,” the multi ghoul cries, whining into Mountain’s neck.
“What is it then, my heart?” he asks gently as he rubs Swiss’ back.
“I look like a sack of potatoes! How can you even look at me, I’m all swollen, and then there’s these–these fucking stretchmarks, and–and…” he sobs, but the last part seems to get stuck in his throat.
Mountain wants to know what he’s working with before he addresses every single concern of his mate. He also knows that it’s going to make everything worse if Swiss keeps some part of it in, so he prods gently, “What’s the ‘and’ about?”
The multi ghoul sighs before shoving his face further into the other’s neck to mumble out something incomprehensible.
“My heart, you know I didn’t catch that.” Swiss groans, but moves his face.
“I look like a woman…” he mutters; still quietly, but understandably now.
“My darling,” Mountain starts, pulling back to look into his mate’s eyes when he speaks, “my beloved mate, light of my life, I need you to listen to me, okay?”
He waits for Swiss to nod before carrying on, “You’ve grown because you are carrying our children inside you. Our kits, our babies; you’re going to give them life, bring them into this world! I can only imagine how it feels, and I wish I could take all the hardships of it away from you, but it truly is a wonderful thing and I couldn’t be more proud of you. You do not look like a sack of potatoes, or a woman. You look absolutely beautiful, my handsome man, and I know you can see in my eyes that I mean every single word. Can you not?”
“I can…” the multi ghoul replies quietly—as if ashamed that he’s even dared to doubt his mate. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, my heart,” Mountain smiles and brings Swiss close again for a tight—albeit careful—hug. It lasts a good couple minutes before the earth ghoul notices that his mate starts to shift his feet in discomfort; even though he doesn’t say anything. The earth ghoul pulls away. 
“Do you know what ‘seahorse dad’ means?” he asks, suddenly having remembered something that Rain had mentioned to him a couple weeks ago.
“I don’t think so…” Swiss admits.
“When seahorses make babies, it’s the males that carry them,” Mountain explains. “Apparently trans men that get pregnant are called seahorse dads because of that.”
Swiss stares at him with his mouth slightly agape for a moment. It turns into a smile before he bursts into tears again. The hormones have really turned him into a mess.
“That’s so cuteee,” he all but wails, his crying now cuteness-induced, instead of…the other kind of crying. Mountain considers it a win.
“It is,” he chuckles, wiping Swiss’ tears away, “let’s lay down and I’ll show you some pictures, hm?”
“Okay,” he sniffles and follows his mate to the bed. He cringes at the tight sweater he’s still trapped in, though. “Ough, help me out of this damn contraption.”
Mountain laughs, but helps free him, indeed.
“I’ll text the group chat and get you a sweater for this year, my heart,” he promises, and Swiss doesn’t doubt it. He knows that if Mountain didn’t manage to find one to borrow, he’d make one from scratch overnight—just so his mate wouldn’t be upset. That’s how much he loves him.
The earth ghoul lays down first and Swiss joins him right away. He snuggles himself into Mountain’s side, resting his stomach against his mate’s hip and his face in the crook of his neck. Swiss inhales deeply, trilling at that familiar scent he loves so much; the smell of the first days of summer.
As promised, Mountain gets out his phone and sends out the ‘sweater wanted’ text first, then moving onto TikTok to find some seahorse dads for Swiss—both the actual fish and pregnant trans men. The former makes the multi ghoul shed some more cuteness-tears, and the latter succeeds in boosting his confidence and chasing the dysphoria away.
They stay in bed for a little while—as they’ve been doing most of their time for the last couple weeks. Swiss needs all the rest he can get and Mountain doesn’t want to step away from him for even a second. He doesn’t have anything better to do, anyways; all his outside work is paused for the winter after he and the other earth ghouls have secured everything against the cold.
So Swiss and Mountain keep snuggling—the earth ghoul caressing the other’s stomach as he purrs—until a phone buzzes somewhere. It got lost in the sheets, but once it’s recovered, the multi ghoul chirps happily at the message.
It’s from Omega, he sent Mountain a couple photos of the sweaters he has and could not only borrow, but give away. Apparently, every time they were on tour in the winter, Terzo had gotten the older quintessence ghoul a silly Christmas sweater, so he’s got plenty.
“I can go get them right now,” Mountain offers, “got any favorites, darling?”
“Hm…” Swiss stares at the pictures, zooming in and out and thoroughly analyzing every sweater offered. The earth ghoul gives him time and after a moment he makes his decision. “This one!”
Mountain smiles, kisses Swiss on the forehead and jumps out of bed to go grab it. Omega’s only downstairs, so it’s only a moment. The multi ghoul uses that time to go to the bathroom—it’s not a quick business nowadays.
When his mate returns with the sweater, Swiss is ecstatic. He’s buzzing with excitement and if he weren’t pregnant, he’d be jumping up and down. Mountain laughs as he helps him wiggle into the sweater and while it’s clear that it wasn’t made with pregnant people in mind, it fits nearly perfectly.
The earth ghoul could just about cry, seeing his mate so happy over something so…basic and small. He brings him in for a hug.
“Merry Christmas,” Swiss purrs, nuzzling the side of his face against his mate’s.
“Merry Christmas, my heart,” Mountain whispers before kissing him—deeply, but softly. When they pull away for breath, the earth ghoul winks and gets down on his knees before Swiss.
At first he thinks he’s about to get a naughty early gift, but instead of pulling down his pants, Mountain pulls up the bottom of his—not that long ago Omega’s—sweater. Swiss looks down at him with his brows furrowed in confusion as his mate kisses his bump.
“Merry Christmas to you, too, little ones,” Mountain mumbles and Swiss tears up once again.
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Taglist: @arkeusruin @skele-bunny @everybodyshusband @ratsummer @jazz-bazz @mac-and-thefox @karmicbias @wine-irytatus @ghoultrifle (if anyone from here wants to be removed lmk, and also if anyone else wants to be added)
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gaytaikawaititi · 1 year ago
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i cannot believe i’m actually enjoying izzy this season, the consequences of his own actions came to bite him in the ass and he can’t cope, he put on blackbeard make up and still served negative cunt, he keeps getting ignored by stede, he lied about ed being alive to make stede feel better, he told fang to unhand him and then cried when he was hugged, he got gangrene, he was bleeding out on the bed while jim was getting some in the same room, he looks like a pathetic flop of a creature and even he isn’t immune to stede bonnet changing something fundamental in him just by being himself, i completely forgot the writers made him actually interesting and a great antagonist before his fans woobyfied his character to death
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puzzlekinq · 8 months ago
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
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#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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wintergrofyuri · 5 months ago
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"(blank) hates laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP
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shuro is just as awkward as laios and it is made So clear he considers him a friend and likes him. he defends him when the canaries start talking shit and actively readies himself to physically fight them so they dont get to him.
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namari also likes laios. she respects him as a leader and also defends him and readies to fight the canaries.
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ive not actually seen anyone claim izutsumi hates laios, but a lot of ppl Are weird abt them. izutsumi and laios' relationship was rocky at the beginning. he struggled to figure out how to interact with her. but by the end, she actively seeks him out to talk with during the lead up to the feast. she hides behind him when falin wakes up. she has already realized shecan do what she wants and does not need to stick around, yet she does. she sleeps near him on the windowsill, waiting with him and marcille for falin to wake up. she has accepted him as part of her life and wants to keep him in it.
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marcille does not hate laios. let me say this again.
Marcille Donato Does Not Hate Laios Touden.
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marcille Loves him. in a platonic, familial sense. laios returns this just as readily. she yells at him. she whacks him. she tells him whats on her mind. she uses healing magic to ease his pain during the parasite fiasco. she reattaches his leg when he loses it. she teaches him magic. she lays her head on his corpse and cries before reviving him. she launches herself at him two times, when the canaries interrogate them and when he talks her down in the tower. he is a comforting presence to her. she trusts him, she cares about him, she worries about him, she imagines him as a big fluffy dog that loves and protects her. laios is her rock when falin is taken from them time and time again. and she tries to be his as well. she whole-heartedly, unconditionally, loves and trusts laios.
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chilchuck does not hate laios. laios pays him his rates, no questions asked. laios trusts and respects chilchuck's job as a lockpick. laios does not see him as a child (at least, i cant think of an instance where he does so). chilchuck states, outright, he sees him as a friend and doesnt want to see him hurt. he actively worries about him as the falin situation gets worse. chilchuck respects laios. he shows almost 0 hesitation in helping get falin back, nor eating her by the end. he does not think of leaving him once, until he realizes he could lose him. chilchuck is cowardly with emotions and prefers to bottle things, so his first instinct was to bolt. he was angry because he was scared of watching someone he cares about destroy himself. laios is his Friend.
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and holy shit. holy Fucking shit. kabru DOES NOT hate laios. kabru has the rockiest start known to man with him, and he Still helps him by occupying the canaries. he warns him about them. he hides the black magic from them just as shuro does. his whole Thing is trusting laios despite himself. kabru has his own baggage regarding other people, just like laios, yet he tries so hard to believe and trust this man. he Wants to. kabru is not very hopeful, but laios makes him Want to be. he states like 3 times he wants to be close to him and sees him as a friend. he stays through the entire feast!! the man who hates monsters, whose biggest trigger is monsters, actively, consciously, Willingly stayed through the entire monster meat feast. all to help his friend get his sister back. he could've left!! the feast was like an entire week!! yet he was there for every single day. he was one of the closest people to the door when falin awoke!! after reuniting with her brother, her friends, the people who knew her the most (plus senshi and izutsumi), the first person she greets is kabru!! he wants to be close to laios, he likes laios, laios is his friend and he cares for him, he wants to meet his sister!!! kabru fucking stays on the island with him as one of his closest, most trusted advisors when he becomes king!!!!! he wants to help him succeed!!!! he wants him to be happy!!!! laios is his friend!!!!!!!!
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im just. people like laios!! laios is a nice guy! he is friendly and cares about people! he is weird, he doesn't understand most social cues, he oversteps boundaries, but they stay beside him, because they like him and he is their friend. he is their friend!!!!! friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows, relationships in general are not sunshine and rainbows. you will upset people, people will upset you, you will get into arguments, things will happen, but at the end of the day, the people close to you like you! they love you! they care for you! they want to work it out and get through it because they love you, but they will feel those emotions first! human relationships are complex and messy and life is complicated. even shows for toddlers know this.
if you truly believe any of these characters hate laios you are worse than a toddler. watch some fucking oobi or something. god. fuck.
take this
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thanks
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juno-stuffs · 2 days ago
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i really want to get into pjo, hoo, etc. but every single time i'm about to i get scared off by something that dissuades me. like. gods damn it.
#at first it was just because the series was huge (for me anygays)#and then the writing style just didn't really itch my brain right#and then i was gonna suck it up but then i heard about the portrayal of the gods/their priorities#then i wanted to get into it again since i like the concept and shit#but then i saw a bunch of stuff that made me think: 'wait why the fuck are they so powerful they're just demigods wtf' but mostly with perc#like wtf you mean fucking pyrokinesis and fucking flying? even heracles just had super strength how do they have that naturally?#unless they don't#which mb then.#then it was calypso getting with a fucking seventeen (or sixteen) year old (i forgot). she's not mentally a teenager. she lived those years#also how did calypso get treated well but circe got done so dirty#speaking of#why does circe turn guys into guinea pigs now? why not just keep it pigs?#back to the calypso thing#if lester is apollo (i think he is) isn't it weird he tries to get with reyna?#like she's seventeen#tryna strike a chord out here gods damn#also#forgive me if i'm wrong but i don't think reyna should have that many surnames if she's from puerto rico?#i dunno i might be wrong so big sorrys if thats the case#why does every female character end up in a relationship or end up joining the hunters?#like just let them be teens and not date but not need them to swear to celibacy?#like i don't think leo needed a diddler gf (i dunno if RR changed her age or not since i heard he added a curse or smth i dunno)#i think he needed therapy#like holy shit#and also i would not want to be part of the main pjo friend group#like why tf is everyone dating everyone#one breakup and that shit is a drama cesspool#....so yeah#i really want to get into it since i do really like the concept#...please don't crucify me?
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rainingincale · 2 months ago
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Should i just unfollow my ex-mp, because ngl I feel like im just torturing myself at this point
(Im seriously asking and you should tell me yes)
#he just keeps tweeting the most stupid shit.#like you can just not be racist its not that hard#like the only reason im still following him is just to keep tabs of this exact bullshit#but some of the stuff he says/retweets genuinely angers me so much#and the worst thing ia that i cant. do. anything. about. it.#and that is driving me mad#so im struggling between would i rather Know that someone is shitty and be able to see it#or just unfollow and give myself peace of mind because at the end of the day#what is having this info gonna do for me#god i actually hate this motherfucker like he literally was at mosques handing out flyers with the palestine flag on it and look at his#islamophobic ass now. fuck you. not to mention not a WORD om palestine since. not even a word on lebanon now#but he Has mentioned how the 'culture' in Afghanistan and 'other such countries' are not valid#🎤 heres me handing you a mic please further explain what you think these 'cultures' are. do you also mention the us where child marriages#are legal in many states? have you literally EVER mentioned anything about the rise in sexism in our own country.#it just pisses me off because i am so angered and DESPISE whats going on in Afghanistan. but anytime i try to look for info and sources to#post about it. anyone commenting it is fucking racist and or a t*rf. like im not even fucking joking. like why is it so hard to realise tha#MUSLIMS HATE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS TOO. AND I IMAGINE A LOT AFGHANI CITIZENS AS WELL. as per usual shitty fucking men MAKE UP THESE RULES#based on nothing because islam ENCOURAGES education in women. it allows divorce. abortion. THESE THINGS ARE PART OF OUR CULTURE THAT ARE#not part of 'Christian culture' but no one would ever even say that because they know its dumb!! and not every Christian believes that!!#and lets not even get started on how western colonisation leads to all this turmoil in the first place.#anyways to conclude. brown people are not just inherently sexist/homophobic/racist/bigoted etc. claiming they are and that their 'culture'#promotes it is SO BEYOND FUCKING RACIST I NEED YOU TO THINK 2 SECONDS BEFORE YOU JUST RANDOMLY SAY SHIT.#and like. a shitty terrorist group enforcing backwards rules on its population is not 'culture'. i think thats whats bothering me. like why#are you further demonising and ostracising people who are already so isolated as is. you dont even know anything about them and then you#you just make this big washjng statement.#i actually could say so much more btw#and even some of the comparisons i made are not even fully equivalent. and i Want to go into it. but i cba. i just woke up and im probably#gonna delete this.#if yoi have read this far pls just answer my q in the og post and tell me to unfollow this man before i lose all my marbles xD#le text post
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tinystarbites · 2 months ago
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accidents | Spencer Reid x Reader
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Summary: during a long case away, Spencer accidentally sees Reader's nudes on her phone and can't cope because he is a MESS for reader whoops [5.5k]
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, some angst mainly Spencer doubting himself aww :(, Spencer is PINING for you hard (haha get it), nudes, Spencer loves you so much, pls someone give him a hug, m!masturbation, talk about sex, proofread but prolly not perfect lol, like you aren't probably ready for the amount of longing in this, *slaps Spencer* this bad boy can fit so much pining and yearning
read pt.II here
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Spencer swears it was an accident.
You were all away on a case, somewhere in Florida. And of course, something like that can only happen in Florida, because as much as he dislikes connecting random events with random locations, non-sequitur fallacy and all that, he cannot not say that many of his most embarrassing moments aren’t attributable to the south-eastern state. (He will not elaborate on these moments, he very much likes to keep most of his dignity still intact, thank you very much.)
But his dignity isn’t really the only thing that had been shattered to pieces by… by the accident. Far from it really and it- well, it- God, this really won’t end well for him, will it? He’s well and truly, as Emily likes to say, fucked.
It happened on the fourth day he and the team were cooped up in a small, dingy police station, chasing down an unsub that liked to paint intricate body art on the victim’s corpses as part of his MO. Aside from, y’know, slitting their throats with what seemed to be an old, rusty saw. The paradoxical duality of these two aspects, of the interplay of carefulness and diligence put into the painting process and the absolute careless way the unsub ends his victims was fascinating really – but not as much as it is disturbing, still.
Thus, this case is a very photography-heavy one. Most of the cases they solve involve photographs of some kinds of course, but Spencer has never sat in front of quite as many pictures of art and gore in his life before. It was strange, to say the least, even to him. Strange and annoying, to be honest.
Because Spencer isn’t exactly fond of all things that come with some electrical inner life, i.e. smartphones, his old brick of a phone isn’t exactly helpful for this case. He still feels the need to roll his eyes at Garcia after she, for the umpteenth time, called him an old grandpa and his phone a potato trying to pass as a phone. And failing miserably, especially when looking at the pictures it takes and their quality. Well, Penelope would say “pictures”, because she would also say that a resolution of beneath 60 PPI should be considered a war crime against modern technology, but Spencer doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know what that even means, so. Jokes on her.
Well, actually, the joke is on him. And yes, he knows, the joke is almost always on him, he knows his pipe-cleaner physique and too big eyes and long hair and everything about him really, makes him the perfect target for the occasional bullying he gets still as an adult, but he’s used to that. It’s normal, part of his everyday life. He can deal with that (more or less).
What he so brilliantly cannot deal with however, is having you around him almost 24/7. Because Hotch had had the amazing idea of fixing you to his hip as his personal photographer to circumvent his technological potato-problem. Uh- not that you, that you take pictures of him, why would you ever do that, but more like, taking pictures for him. Of their victims. And the body art.
Spencer was actually waiting for your protest, because there seems to be nothing worse for you than to stay inside the office when you could be out there, on the fields, in midst of all the action. Where Spencer usually isn’t. But that’s fine of course. Completely, absolutely fine. Spencer doesn’t look up every time the door to the tiny room he’s set up his camp in opens to see if it’s you bringing him another coffee just the way he likes, if it’s your smile that will make him feel more energized than any overly sweet coffee ever could. If it’s your voice and smell and aura (Penelope is definitely getting into his head) that for the short while you are there, makes everything seem so much more manageable.
It’s an energy burst unlike any other and Spencer is aware of what that means, so aware his body burns with it sometimes… Often. Okay, fine, most of the time. He just prefers to ignore it and enjoy the precarious friendship he built with you for what it is because he just likes to have you around so very much and – this was so not the point he wanted to make. He’s hopeless, when it comes to you, and it really is kind of embarrassing.
So, this is why the joke is so entirely on him that it’s not even a joke anymore. It’s basically bullying, he feels bullied. Because you actually had beamed the prettiest smile he’s ever seen at him, said ‘Oh finally, I can unpack all the dark hidden talents from within me’ which was so cryptic but so you and then you also winked at him. And well, Spencer has to lie if he were to say that he was being totally normal about this. That you didn’t just upheave his insides like an earthquake of magnitude eight with a single wink. Oh, he’s in so much trouble.
The first two days the two of you work side by side proceed without any unforeseen occurrences. And Spencer is so glad about that he could cry. From the moment you had joined the team two years ago, from the moment he met you, it was an undeniable fact that you were nice. Not only that, but truly, selflessly kind in a way that has left him all too choked up to even speak on multiple occasions now. The team is nice to Spencer, of course they are, they’re his family. But nothing in the entire world could have adequately prepared him to the spring of kindness you so freely distribute to anyone willing to receive it. And god, Spencer is willing. Is it every time you listen to him ramble on and on, unable to really hold his tongue despite the embarrassment clouding his cheeks darker. Is it every time you ask him about the book he’s reading, every time you ask him how his mother is doing and just- all these tiny things that add up and completely smush his brain into a fuzzy mess of warmth that leaks down his body.
He literally could spend every minute of every day just sitting next to you and soak up your presence and he would be the happiest person alive. That’s why he cherishes your friendship to him so strongly, and that’s why it’s the worst thing that Spencer is, well, himself.
He knows that you would probably be too nice to outright state that something he does unsettles you. Changes the way you think about him. Still. There is the worry. Buried so deep in his mind it’s as if he was born with it. And that’s why he’s so relieved that he is keeping the worst of the ‘Reid effect’ at bay while working with you on this twisted painter case.
It all goes well, until it doesn’t. Of course. Good things never seem to last for Spencer.
It’s already later in the afternoon on the fourth day you are working the case, no end in sight, unfortunately. Spencer is bend over the table, hands entwined in front of his mouth as he’s staring down the printed pictures of the unsub’s latest victim from three days ago. The brushstrokes seem remarkably stable, the colours uncannily vibrant. Spencer does not know much about art, but he does recognise talent when he sees it. And this unsub seems to have it in abundance. It’s almost a shame he’s a deranged killer. But oh well.
He jumps in his seat when the door to his room abruptly bangs open and a dishevelled looking you is bustling into the room.
Your expression turns apologetic. “Oh Spencer, shit, sorry. I didn’t wanna startle you, but they just found another victim.”
And oh. Spencer feels his heart sink in his chest. Guilt tugging it further down into the abyss. Why wasn’t he faster with figuring out these paintings?
“Really? Where?”
You immediately launch into a rapid-fire list of details, all in the wrong order because you do tend to be a bit all over the place. Spencer doesn’t mind. Gives him a bit more of a challenge to order the information in his brain the way it works for him. You two work surprisingly well in that regard.
While talking, you round the desk that almost takes up all the little space available in the room. You sit in the chair next to him, so close he can feel the stressed warmth radiating from you and it takes a very good portion of his brain’s capacity to stop his hand from reaching out. Or do something else even stupider. More stupid? Oh hell. It’s a wonder he can talk in complete sentences with you.
He watches you pull out your phone, fingers typing in the passcode he guessed right after two weeks of knowing you. The indignant expression on your face had been adorable. That’s why he still guesses your new passwords weekly, just to mess with you a little bit. Because he’s apparently insane like that.
“Here”, you turn the display of your phone towards him, “Precinct’s out of ink. Do you mind looking at the pictures on my phone until I come back from the store?”
This is where Spencer should have said no. Declined politely, smile on his face. Tell you that sorry, I don’t really get the same detail on screen like on a printed version. Should’ve emigrated to Tristan da Cunha, change his name to Ferdinand. Whatever. Anything, except say, “Oh, of course. That’s no trouble.”
You smile that breathtaking smile of yours, fingers touching his slightly while giving him your phone. Spencer sucks his lower lip between his teeth to keep himself from making any kind of noise at the tingly feeling skittering down his back.
He can’t not smile back at you. It’s one of his many weaknesses. Jello, trying to out-solve himself every day with New York Times’ new crossword puzzles, dairy. Halloween themed socks. Old obscure movies no one has ever heard of. Reading the most difficult books in twenty minutes. You.
Once you left, Spencer starts diligently going through the photographs of their latest victim. Not yet identified white male. Average height, average weight. Short-buzzed sandy brown hair. Striking blue eyes that seem to stare at him accusingly even after death.
He works through approximately forty pictures taken off the intricate and detailed body art. This time, the unsub left many smaller paintings woven in a bigger, overall painting. There’s still one that Spencer hasn’t seen a close up of, that’s kind of hidden behind the victim’s ears. Maybe you saved it to a different folder. He clicks around your gallery for some time, opening and closing folders full of holiday pictures. Pictures of you, smiling, at the beach. A folder full of memes that he doesn’t get but is familiar with because you keep sending them to him anyways. Spencer is aware that he probably shouldn’t have just- perused your gallery like that. But he was in case-mode. Hyper-focused on finding the next clue, on detangling the next hint that would bring them further. That would finally be the key to end this case and bring justice to all the victims.
He isn’t really thinking, when he clicks on a folder titled ‘xxx lol’. Thinks it’s another one full of memes because of the abbreviation, but maybe you accidentally saved pictures of the case in there, wouldn’t be too out of character for you and-
Spencer sucks in a breath.
Drops your phone almost as an afterthought. The noise of it clattering to the table makes him flinch.
It lands display down. Small mercies and all that.
And Spencer is- he is-
… That was not-
Not -
There’s a weird buzzy feeling in his limbs, his chest and head. Like his blood turned into a swarm of bees. He feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice over his head and like he’s on fire simultaneously.
Okay. Okay.
That was not- pictures of the case.
Definitely not.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Spencer was definitely not supposed to see. That. Not supposed to see you- like that. Ever.
His heart is totally beating itself into a frenzy. There are at least two litres of blood rushing to his head. The other four are gathering somewhere down down down and oh. Oh shit.
Spencer is actually fucked. More than that. He wants to get fucked and that’s. Just. Even worse.
He wants to scream.
He ends up biting his knuckles and letting out a frustrated noise against his fingers.
Did he really.
Did he really just see your nudes?
(And yes, he knows that word. Penelope is a bad influence on him.)
His head is kind of a- a mess. More than usual when you are around. And… what. What does he do now? He can’t just- can’t just leave your phone like that. You’d obviously see what he was looking at and that’s just- unacceptable.
But the other option appears just as preposterous. Because, because, he’d have to look at your phone again. At you, like that, again. To get out of ‘xxx lol’. Damn you. Why did you have to be so unserious and name your, uhm, very personal folder like that? And no password-block?
Spencer feels a different kind of warmth enveloping him because it’s just- so you, silly and funny and kind of unbelievable and Spencer is so deeply in love with you that he feels like he’s going crazy with it. Of course, you’d be like that about stuff like that as well. Spencer would give everything to just once experience what it’d feel like to kiss you. To feel your lips twisted in a silly smile against his, flicking a finger at his ear because you would. Do that. When kissing someone. And okay. Okay. Spencer needs to get his shit together, like, yesterday.
You could come back any second now, actually and fuck. He needs to close the gallery app on your phone, asap.
His hands are trembling as they retrieve your phone from the table.
He allows himself a deep breath. And then. With eyes squeezed almost close, he taps the return arrow. Well, tries to. He thinks he managed to escape your nudes-folder without any hiccups but well.
Spencer is freaking inept with technology.
So. He finds himself looking at another picture of you and god, it actually might kill him.
It’s inappropriate. So so so so inappropriate. You would kill him dead if you ever knew Spencer was ogling your pictures like that. Like a perverted stalker.
But. But.
There shouldn’t even be a ‘but’.
But.
You’re just. You’re just- You’re incredible. Not even in a sexual way, just-
You’re so beautiful it hurts.
And call Spencer selfish, a pervert, whatever. Because he knows, okay? But he also knows that he’d never, ever get to see you like that. And it hurts in a different way now, because Spencer just wants. Wants you so much. You and you, just you.
But…he’d never get to have you. Which is fine, of course. Having you as a friend is actually one of the best things that ever happened to him, and he’d never do anything to endanger that-
…Well. He’s not perfect. So, sue him, for only once, giving into his deepest darkest desires. He’s only human. And pathetically in love with you. And attracted to you. Oh, he wants to be with you so badly. Wants to- wants to get kissed and held by you. Wants to make love with you, which just. Sounds so dumb and cliche. But maybe he just is that for you.
Still. He shouldn’t think how absolutely breathtaking you look, sprawled across the white linen of presumably your bed. He knew you worked out regularly, but. Spencer feels hot all over when he thinks how easily you could just. Manhandle him around. To wherever you wanted him. And this is something he apparently likes. (He consciously stores that information away for later. Later.)
He shouldn’t think how you would tease him, how you would make him beg for you before he’d even taken off his clothes. He would. He would beg for you, go on his knees. Everything, everything.
He shouldn’t think how warm and safe you’d make him feel, even after knowing he’s inexperienced in everything. You’d take his face in your hands, smile at him so beautifully he’d cry. Tell that ugly internalized shame to go ‘fuck off to Jupiter’.
Oh, he shouldn’t be looking at you like this. He shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t.
But there’s always so much he shouldn’t do. Friends shouldn’t think of other friends like that. Friends don’t imagine how it would feel to be taken apart and put together again by their friend. Friends shouldn’t want to touch, touch, touch-
Maybe, for once, he just. Has enough of that. Maybe, he could just. Indulge. For a minute. To know what it’d be like. Just. A little.
To know what it’d be like if this picture was meant for him. What it’d be like- Be like to see you. And for you to see him. Like that. What it’d feel like to crawl into your lap, bury his face in your neck. Set his teeth on the gentle skin there and hear you gasp for him. How you’d bury your hands in his hair, and he’d make the most miserable noises until you pulled and-
Something in the corner of his eyes catches his attention and- shit.
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.
That’s you. Walking towards the door.
His hands are shaking so badly he has difficulties navigating your phone. But thankfully, this time, he manages to leave ‘xxx lol’ and find his way back to the evidence folder.
Oh god.
Oh god.
Did he actually- He actually-
The door springs open. Spencer startles kind of violently.
(Oh god.)
You have a big grin on your face. Some magenta ink smutched across your left cheek. And Spencer knows what you look like without-
“Heya, Spence, you won’t believe what just happened-“
(Oh god.)
“Uh… you okay there?”
His face feels like it’s on fire. His heartbeat is spiking and, well. He’s never been quite this turned on his entire life. He feels himself hard and aching against his trousers and Spencer wants you to push him down on the table and-
Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god-
He needs to- leave. Right now.
“Fine”, he squeaks, voice all over the place and he cringes, “Just-“
He wags his hands around in a very confusing, general manner. Grabs some photographs.
“I need to- Need to. Bathroom”, is all he somehow manages, photographs surely placed in front of his, ahhhh, problem.
You look at him as if he lost his mind. He probably has.  “Oh-kay? Then… go?”
Spencer goes.
------------------------------
Spencer can’t stop thinking about those pictures.
He’d known it would come to this. Him, lying wide awake on the uncomfortable hotel bed.
Having an eidetic memory has never felt more like a curse to him as now.
He buries his head further into the pillow. Fingers digging into it. Pulling his legs closer to him and, ah. That. Probably wasn’t the greatest idea of his.
He’s still- turned on. Uncomfortably so.But just thinking of taking care of that. Well. He’s 100% sure that that’s not the way to go about forgetting these pictures.
Also, it’s bad enough already that he even saw them. It would be so much creepier to jerk himself off to them. To you. His best friend. But- ugh.
It’s always kind of uncomfy for him to be away on a case. He prefers his own four walls over anything else, kind of, except maybe the university library. And now, being sexually frustrated away on a case that requires even more focus than other cases do?
Oh, Spencer is so fucked.
------------------------------
You notice that something is off with him. It really would have been a miracle if not, because then Spencer would’ve had to question your profiling skills. But even then- he doesn’t think that you’d even need to have these skills to notice him acting off.
Because Spencer is so not the person to play incidents like that cool. He is painfully aware of that, thank you very much.
So, the next day, when you came to say hi to him (“Hey there, Mr. Doctor.”), after he basically ran off the day before, and you, as always, casually put your hand on his shoulder, Spencer, he-
He spit out his coffee.
He could feel you freeze through the hand on his shoulder. Your expression would’ve been comical if Spencer wasn’t dying.
“Uhh… Do you… Do you need a moment?”
Well, that was a freaking understatement. Spencer needs not a moment but all of them to try to get his act together.
…which he didn’t. Not for the rest of that day, and also not for the day after. And the day after. This case apparently will never end. Fucking Florida.
You, of course being the kind soul you are, tried talking to him.
(“Spencer, are you okay? You’ve been acting kinda-“
“What? What do you mean? I’m fine, completely.”
“Uhm… Sure. If you wanna talk about it, you got my number.”)
And well. Spencer feels like he is going insane.
It’s come down to him not being able to spend more than thirty minutes uninterrupted in your vicinity without getting semi-hard, because he knows. Without him almost doing something stupid and drop to his knees then and there and beg you to either forgive him or to please let him eat you out.
Ah, yes, because apart from being so frustrated he could scream, he’s also feeling so guilty it’s slowly killing him.
There you are, still being his absolute favourite person on the planet, unaware of what kind of person you are laughing with. Of what Spencer did. It was an accident yes, but- He should’ve said something. Maybe warned you so that it would not happen again. Ugh, but the more time passes the worse it gets. The more impossible it feels to just- go to you and say ‘ah, uhm, by the way, I saw your nudes and maybe you should put those behind a password block’.
Spencer is just- the worst friend. What friend doesn’t give their friend a heads-up about something like that? He’ so, hopeless, incompetent, and he gets it now why he didn’t have that many friends in school. 
It’s gotten so bad so quickly that the others started noticing too, obviously. It really is a curse working with profilers. Spencer should reconsider his move to Tristan da Cunha.
“What’s got pretty boy so worked up, huh?”, Morgan asked him on the day after the incident.
“Did something happen, Spence?”, JJ pulled him aside on the second day after.
“Are they cancelling Doctor Who?”, Emily, on the first day after.
“Kid, you need to eat something”, as Rossi pressed a protein bar into his hands.
Even Penelope texted him.
is it what i think it is? ;))))))
He did not dignify her with an answer.
When Hotch comes to him on the evening on the second day after, Spencer is a mess. He’s practically spent the entire day in some state of fluster. He noticed he’s trailing off when he’s info-dumping. That he’s just- staring off into space more often than he usually does. That he can’t talk to you properly without stuttering, that he avoids looking you in the eyes. So, it really was only a matter of time until their unit chief would scold him. Or whatever Hotch is here to do.
“Listen, Reid”, he says, tone of voice a little too similar to when he is talking to Jack when he did something mildly inconvenient, “whatever it is, and I don’t want to know unless it’s something bad, deal with it. We need you with a clear head here, okay?”
And well, that could’ve gone a lot worse.
------------------------------
He still thinks so once he falls into bed that evening. But now-
Deal with it.
How? How should he deal with that? It’s not like he can just press the ‘Delete’-button in his memories. Thanks for nothing, Hotch.
His eyes strain from staring at the ceiling in the dark. Closing them doesn’t really help because all he’d see is you. He’s such a mess.
A pining, pathetic loser mess and he’s so hard again he can’t properly think. It’s just- Spencer has had rather inappropriate thoughts about you before. Has actually spent way too many hours in his apartment just lazing around, thoughts occupied on all the countless ways he’d like you to make him lose his goddamn mind. It had been kind of an accident (isn’t that just the story of his life), the first time it happened.
Spencer had almost been finished with his report, he’d just needed an additional detail from you to finish up. He’d asked Morgan where you were, and this is how he found himself walking down the corridor to Penelope’s ‘Dungeon’. Which, he’d never say out loud because that’s just ridiculous, right?
He saw the door to her office was slightly ajar, a mix of yellowish-red light splitting the hallway in half where it spilled out of the open gap.
There’s a giggle coming from inside the room and Spencer smiles- can’t help it really, because your laugh is just so absolutely ridiculous, a kind of high-pitched screech that ends in airy laughter and he’s so obsessed with it he wants to engrave it on a CD to listen to it again and again.
“No way, gorgeous, I don’t believe that”, Penelope whisper-giggled.
Spencer didn’t realize his steps slowed down, too curious by what you two could be talking about. And also, kind of forgetting that you shouldn’t just listen to other people’s conversations like that.
“Oh yes”, your voice was low, and Spencer would be lying if he said it didn’t send a tingle along his spine, “He broke up with me, but he came crawling back to me not even two months later because I apparently ‘ruined him’ for anyone else.”
Ruined him? What did you mean?
Both Penelope and you were laughing now, louder than before.
“You really, really gotta teach me your devious ways, buttercup.”
You snicker. “I guess it all boils down to making them come so hard they cry and forget their own name, really.”
Spencer didn’t get the detail he needed from you that day.
He’d gotten something much worse and that was curious. From the limited sexual encounters he’s had in his life before (a rushed hand-job somewhen in university in a toilet cubicle by that one other student he was into back then) he couldn’t really imagine something like sexual gratification that made one cry. Sure, getting himself off felt good. Sure, that orgasm had been fine. But… it could feel better?
He kind of didn’t think of that before.
So, when flustered-he had returned to his apartment after that overheard conversation, he kind of… thought about what these things could be that you did, to make others feel so good they lose the basic functions of their memory.
And the rest is basically history.
Of course, he’d never touched himself while doing… research about your techniques. It just felt- wrong. You are his friend and despite of his crush on you, it didn’t feel right.
But now…
He really really shouldn’t. But, he’s just so- desperate. For you and for things to go back to how they were. Without him almost bursting at the seams each time you look at him because before, he never had any problems with categorizing his mind like he does now.
So maybe… Maybe he can just… Do it once? Real quick, to get it out of his system?
The longer Spencer turns the thought in his head, the more… it seems like a good idea. You’d never know. Spencer could forget about- about the accident and move on. Solve the case and finally leave cursed Florida behind. If he just does it this one time, it’s not that bad right?
The fuzzy pleasure that shoots up his spine when he finally, finally presses his hand against himself through his pyjama pants answers him. Yes, yes, it says and more more more-
Spencer has never been good in denying himself things that make him feel good, better than good, things that make him forget about any pain that has nestled inside of his body or mind. Right now, that thing is you. Oh, perfect beautiful lovely you. He can’t stop the way his lips twitch into a smile, almost shy, even though he’s alone. But something about you just- 
He gasps, back arching a little when he slides the palm of his hand along himself, still through two layers of fabric.
Something about you just- god, how can he put this into words- something about you just makes him feel- safe. Seen. Taken care of. And it’s just, so foreign to him. Strange. He’s always been looking after himself. After dad left and mom-
He’s kind of addicted to it. To the way you make him feel. Spencer can’t get enough of it, can’t get enough of you. Never never enough.
His fingers trail circles around the head of his cock, light and unhurried, enjoying the shivers of good good amazing it sends through his limbs, to his fingertips. Spencer can feel the tension leaking out of him, can feel his muscles relax and his mind become hazy. He should do this more often, god he always forgets how good it is, it feels.
He almost forgets why he decided to get off right now. It had something to do with you. You. Naked and there, here with Spencer. He whines a little because you aren’t here, why aren’t you here he wants that so badly-
But all he has is the crystal-clear mental snapshot of your nudes. Spencer doesn’t remember ever remembering something with such clarity before. He feels kind of embarrassed by that, how obviously desperate he is for you. How he would do everything for you, with you. But this feels so good that he doesn’t care about any kind of embarrassment or shame that might trigger his self-loathing.
He increases the pressure of his palm slightly, oh god oh oh, it’s so good already and Spencer hasn’t even touched yet, not properly at least, but oh. Oh, he wants moremoremore-
It’s so easy letting his thoughts tangle, mixing old and new. Fantasies and reality. The you from the pictures merges with the you from his daydreams and oh shit. Oh fuck.
Spencer moans, high and needy at the back of his throat and god how are you so beautiful?
Imagined-you has absolutely nothing on the real you. Spencer could have never himself come up with you because he just lacks the imaginative capabilities to conjure the absolute vision you are. The vision you portray on those freaking pictures that have branded themselves into his very neurons. He’s sure, absolutely sure, that he will never get over them. Over you. Doesn’t even really want to.
Because he is quite certain that the sight of you, your stomach your thighs your arms your tits your- oh he forgot where he was going with this.
By now, Spencer’s hand has dipped beneath his pyjamas and beneath his boxers and he moans again, his lips pulled between his teeth and eyes shut because the feeling of good good better more almost peaks when he grabs himself, finally.
His right hand starts an even, slow pace along his cock because if he is only ever doing this once, he is going to make most of it.
It doesn’t take long for him to get close, though. He’s been so wound up the last few days, it really is no surprise. It’s actually more surprising he hasn’t come all over himself already.
Soft, keening noises are continuously spilling from between his lips, hips moving together with his hand because he just can’t help himself. The heat in his abdomen is building and building and he whimpers because he wants it to be you so so badly, his thoughts are a mess, he is a mess and he wishes he could be your mess, yours, yours to make a mess of and oh god he’s going to-
A knock. On his door.
He freezes, blood rushing loud in his ears, heart pounding and his cock hot in his hand and begging him to not stop but-
“Spencer? It’s me, can you let me in?”
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
pt. II? 👀
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bunnys-kisses · 2 months ago
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。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ i like my men older - simon riley♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
you knew that your friends from school raised an eyebrow when you told them that you were dating a man almost double your age. you were in your twenties, while this 'simon' guy was close to fifty. you told them that he was an army man who had a gooey center for you.
your friends could see the upgrade in your laptop and the new knapsack with a logo that proclaimed it was expensive. the small chain around your neck with a 's' on it that you toyed with when they asked questions about him.
you looked happy, healthier even! you weren't eating minute meals and surviving off of black coffee. there was a little roundness to your cheeks now and you looked more alive. a glow to you that wasn't that while you trudged through your graduate program. so honestly, how could they complain?
if you had a glow to you, it was because you were often fucked out. most women your age through that dating an older man would mean having to go slow. be patient about technical difficulties regarding their cocks. that was what you expected from a man that old. especially one with aches and pains like simon. your poor si, he had been in the military his entire life. barely had the touch of a woman during that time! poor guy! of course you'll teach him all the ways a woman should please a man. the first time you ran your tongue on the underside of his cock he cam all over your head, and while you whined. it made you crazy hot. fucking simon was like fucking a live wire. he hadn't slowed down with age. he fucked like a stallion in breeding season. and he loved when he pulled his heavy cock into you. you once told him that he could be a cervix breaker. and he simply said, "well, if i break it... i can't breed it." which made you go slack jaw for a moment before he continued to rut up against you. you didn't expect a man of his age to have a breeding kink.
you practically begged your doctor to give you birth control, because he was not buying condoms. "don't fit in 'em, lovie." he said as he patted his clothed cock when you started dating. you knew that was impossible, condoms could fit a lot of things and while simon was fairly big. he could fit in a condom. but, no. when you tried to put them on yourself, he simply took it off, tossed it to the side and pinned you under his heavy weight. legs in the air as he rutted against you like a hungry animal.
he was so much bigger than you. wide shoulders, strong thighs and a bit of a gut to keep you folded under him. there was a masculine heft to him. he was strong, picking you up was easy to him even when you tried to tell him your weight. one time he gripped you by the waist with one arm and moved you out of the way. you kicked and squeaked as you were moved. but to simon it was easy as lifting heavy equipment. but that softness to some of his muscles really got you hot all over. it didn't help that part of your role as his girlfriend was to make sure that your man was fed. you cooked him meals and he over devoured in your sweet dessert. he loved you in an apron. all domestic and sweet for him. you were real wifey material. could easily be cooking meals for him and the kids in a few years. you can have a graduate degree and a few riley babies. "look good cookin' for me, darlin'. know how to make a proper meal for your man." you wouldn't admit but his words excited you.
simon can be a little... chauvinistic. it was just his age. while he respected female colleagues in the military and was beyond happy that you were getting your degree. he'd do things for you that you could clearly do on your own. like when you tried to fix the leaky tap in your flat. or when you try to carry all the groceries inside. yes, darling, you're a strong woman. but let him take over. take care of you. that was what a man did right? he'll cut the onions for you and try to fix your buggy wi-fi connection. he's pay for dinner every time and even get you dessert after. he'd wipe your face clear of the sweet treat you'd have. "don't ask her anything too difficult, johnny. she doesn't need to be thinkin' too hard." he once said with his hands over your ears and glared at his teammate. which only made the scotsman laugh. simon didn't mind if he had to take over. he'd never pull the rug out from under you, even when you were under him. you looked prettier under him, letting him take charge of your fucking. he took care of his girl, even when you whined and told him you were capable. there was no need to whine. simon needed to take care of his much smaller, much weaker baby girl. no need to break a nail trying to do stuff that simon could easily do for you.
even with the grey in his blond hair, he still kept up to you. there were times that you were too exhausted from day-to-day that you let simon rut between your thighs until he covered your round ass with his hot cum. you'd whimper which would turn into a yelp when he easily slipped his heavy cock into your sweet pussy. where it belonged. he fucked you heavily as his cum coated your behind, even trailing down your sloped back as you had your head in the covers.
"don't spill a drop off that pretty ass, baby girl. or else i'd might have to mark you again." thank god you liked your men older. <3
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ttsukiimi · 6 months ago
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〃★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ⎯ the jjk men n how they treat you after s⍣x. - submitted by anon.
〃★ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 ⎯ nanami x fem!reader, toji x fem!reader, gojo x fem!reader, choso x fem!reader, aftercare, brief mentions of smut (mdni), unprotected s⍣x, creamp⍣es, fluff, established relationship, rough s⍣x, reader referred to as (baby, doll, sweetheart.)
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────〃ଘ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 - second thoughts…
Nanami is always considerate of you. And he’s considerate of your preferences—preferably the things you enjoy most in bed. So, when you tell him you want it rough, albeit a little hesitant, he’s right on it. And he gives it to you good. Plowing you so hard, fucking you so good the bed starts to rock back and forth with the weight of his thrusts. The headboard bangs against the wall in tandem with your wanton screams and moans of more, the same sounds that keep him rooted deep inside you.
Nanami gives it to you almost too good—to the point that, by the time he’s done with you, leaving your cunt a creampied-mess, you’re shaking and your chest’s heaving for the breath he’s so greedily robbed you of.
With a fondness in his eyes, Nanami wipes your tear-stained cheek with his thumb. “You okay, sweetheart?”
You nod, attempting to ease the trembling of your lips—to no avail, considering every part of your body is quivering at this point. Your head turns and you look away in embarrassment—you can’t possibly be the one in such a state after asking him to be rough with you.
Nanami smiles at this and places his pointer under your chin, turning your head back in his direction with his finger. “Tell me you’re fine.”
You nod again, finding yourself unable to talk. “With words, my love. I need words.”
“I-i’m fine, Ken. Promise.”
“You’re still shaking,” his voice’s a whisper now, breath fanning past your neck from his proximity. “Tell me I wasn’t too rough, please.”
“Kento—it’s fine. You were perfect.” you reassure, looping your arms around his neck and pulling him down, planting a quick yet searing kiss to his lips. “I just feel a little gross that’s all.”
After those words Nanami, being the perfect husband that he is, hurries over to fix you a nice, warm bath. And, per your request, he steps in too, and you both end the night basking in each other’s warmth in soft light and vanilla scented bubbles.
────〃ଘ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 - I’m doin my best!
Satoru’s always up for a rough session with you. The way you sound, the way you feel, the way you try and fail to escape from his thrusts—he loves it all. Especially when you’re crying and telling him how good he’s making you feel in both broken sentences and inhales for breath, scratching your manicured nails down his back in a pleasurable burn while doing so. The sight of your fucked-out face alone is enough to have him ready to make you bear his child, and your pussy—oh, don’t even get him started.
Satoru would go to hell and back for a mere second inside your warm, tight cunt.
And, saying that, he might’ve just went a bit too far—too rough this time. Because, as he finishes up inside you, spurting his hot seed deep into your womb—he wasn’t kidding about making you have his child—you’re shaking more than usual.
His brows furrow in slight concern, and his big hands caress all over your body as if asking if you’re okay.
“Baby?”
“H-hm?”
His lips slide against the skin of your shoulders. “You good?”
You open your eyes and give him a look—closing them again because doing anything makes your body feel even more sore. “Yeah, i’m fine. Just shaking because you went too soft.”
Satoru, on the other hand, doesn’t catch your sarcasm, and he’s about ready to get hard again when you flash him another look and slap his hand away.
“Satoru.” you heave, now trying to pull him closer. “I can’t even move. Do something.”
At that, he’s hurrying over to the bathroom and getting a washcloth, dampening it and scurrying back to you. Satoru’s surprisingly intent on cleaning you, more focused on tidying you up than your pussy which is just a mere inch away from his face—surprisingly not him at all.
Afterwards he’s tending to your every need, assuring you that there’s no need to feel ‘gross’ every time you say so.
Satoru Gojo really tries his best with aftercare.
────〃ଘ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 - ‘Kay, on it!
Well, Toji is nearly almost always rough with you in bed. There’s just something about it that he can’t get out of his system. And he even feels like sometimes his body’s really doing it out of habit—maybe even instinctively.
But, perhaps it may not have been that same instinct that drove him this particular time—and with the way you’re quivering more than usual, Toji thinks so too.
Then again, he just can’t stop himself from being too rough on you when you look so helplessly up at him when he’s plowing your lil’ pussy, and especially not when your moans fuel him on so much to the point where he has to hold you down so you don’t try and squirm away from his ruthless thrusts.
Wiping your cheek with the back of your hand, you hiccup. Toji raises an eyebrow as he gazes down at you, wondering what he should do—you’ve never shook this much.
And he would be concerned but, there’s a sadistic part of him that’s secretly enjoying the sight knowing he’s the one to have you like this.
“T-toji.”
“Hm? Yeah, doll?”
“Can you get me some water, please?”
Before you can even blink he’s back with a refrigerated bottle of water, cold just to your liking. You smile, thanking him and gulping down the liquid, placing a kiss of gratitude to his lips afterwards.
“Toji..”
“Yes?”
“Can you, uhm, clean me..?”
A smile finds it way to his lips. Toji finds it cute how you’re hesitant to ask him such a question.
After some minutes he’s back with a damp cloth to wipe you with, though that’s not all. He’s carrying you bridal style to a warm bath waiting just for you, placing you in carefully as if you’re made of porcelain.
You kiss him again, stroking his forearm lovingly.
“Can you order us some takeout too?”
“On it.”
────〃ଘ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎 - uh, where do i start?
Initially, Choso’s very nervous about going rough with you. His palms are sweaty, his eyebrows are furrowed together in a tight knit and he’s asking if you really want him to. He simply wants to make sure that you’re not acting on impulse—because, as soft as he may seem, he can really give it to you.
And he does—hard. Albeit, maybe too hard. He’s never gone so rough to the point where you shook after sex, and that was Choso’s first worry.
He expected you to at least calm down after a bit of time but your body kept continuously quivering.
That’s when Choso begins to scold himself. Maybe if he wasn’t so addicted to your body, your pussy, the noises he discovers you make when he’s harsh with you, then maybe you’d be alright.
But there was no denying that he was hooked on everything about you.
“Cho..think i need a massage.” you groan, falling back onto the bed after a failed attempt at getting up. “my back’s so sore.”
“I-i’m sorry, baby, I—“
You cut him off with a kiss; one that diminishes his every worry and gives him reassurance. “It’s fine.”
“You sure?”
Nodding, you turn around onto your stomach, hissing at the pain in your limbs—he had really stretched you to your limit tonight. “Yeah, just, massage please.”
With a hum of acknowledgment, Choso begins to rub your back, his big hands working at the knots in your shoulders, and he smiles with every sigh of relief that leaves your lips.
By the time he’s done, you’re just about ready to have him fuck you again with the way that he’s touching you so sensually—but the gross, sticky feeling between your legs cancels out that thought.
But a pleased sigh leaves your lips—you have the perfect boyfriend and idea to get rid of that.
“Cho, baby, let’s shower.”
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