#i dunno i might be wrong so big sorrys if thats the case

[juno-stuffs]

i really want to get into pjo, hoo, etc. but every single time i'm about to i get scared off by something that dissuades me. like. gods damn it.

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[sunny6677]

Wally Franks x Male!Reader angst part 1

Title: Magnet(not a songfic, just the title)

Summary: Its the 30s, and two men have grown awfully close. Too close. They love eachother dearly, and there is nothing wrong with that. But they cannot be together due to such ignorance and distaste. All they can do is hope.

Genre: Angst.

Tw: mentions of homophobia

You were an animator at the studio in Brooklyn. You were the brother of Joey himself, and of course that meant nothing to him. You were going to work as something you didn't want to do anyway.

You dealt with it just find though, because of one certain boy.

Wally Franks, a janitor boy who although was always pretty nervous, he was very funny and kind at heart. You could call him a himbo of some sort.

But, as you two became closer friends.. it became a bit.. too close. You loved him, you knew that very well. But.. surely it was just platonic love right?

I mean, there was that one time where you almost slipped in the music department and he catched you and you two.. gazed into eachothers eyes for a bit. But.. that didn't matter right? That didn't mean you loved him romantically or anything, right?

And there was that one time you may have slipped out an "i love you" to him while he was cleaning up the music room and he said it back. But... surely it meant nothing!

And... that one time he fell onto you after tripping and you both just sat there for a minute.

...

You.. didnt.. like him right?..

Right?..

-

"Y/N!" You heard a familiar janitors voice call out. You flinch slightly, and turn around to meet his gaze. His green emerald eyes meet your e/c ones, his shoulder slightly brushed you as he stood next to you.

"What'a ya doin? Why are ya in the toy place? Usually your hangin' around the music department and arguin' with Sammy." He says, looking up/down at your face. "Its nothin, really. I could go a day without havin to listen to Sammy's annoying voice yellin at me for God knows what." You reply, with your signature calm smirk.

He smiles up/down at you, "I feel ya, though being a janitor doesn't really help my case. I have to listen to him ramble about ink and me losing my keys for hours on end. I feel like people could be more clean around here at least!"

Shawn rolls his eyes, "I'm right here, ya know! No need to shit talk me while I'm workin!" He turns back to the plushies. "Sorry, dude!" You call out, "Guess I shouldn't have hung around here huh?"

"Speakin of which, what are you doing here anyway?" Wally asks. "I get work done pretty fast compared to all the others, so usually during the last hours I have here I just hang around the studio. Usually, its the music department though." You say. "So why was it different this time?" Wally asks again.

"Uhh.." Your heart beat begins to go a bit quick. Thump, thump. Truth be told, you came here to think about all of those rather.. intimate moments with Wally you've had. Though thinking about them didnt exactly help, as your heart began to go faster and your face started to rise with heat.

"I just needed to think, thats all." You lie, shutting your e/c eyes while leaning against the wall. Wally seems to go quiet for a second, before he makes a happy gasp. "Holy smokes, do you have a crush?" Wally grins rather smugly, eagerly looking into your eyes.

"Ohoho, now this'll be interestin." Shawn says, he seems to have heard it too. Shit. He turns away from his work and listens attentively. You look around nervously. "Soo.. who's the lucky lassie?" Shawn asks.

"Yeah! Who's the lucky gal?" Wally repeats what Shawn said, only more childish. You sigh, "Trust me, it ain't a girl or anything big. I really needed to have some time to myself." You.. half-lie. It was something big but.. it wasn't a girl.

"Aww come on! I'm sure its somethin, otherwise that red on your face wouldn't be there!" Wally says. Wally gently traces his finger around the spot that you had presumably been blushing and pokes it. Your face slightly softened at his touch, and the hotness on your face seemed to get worse as your legs gently squirmed.

"Heheh.. must be a rather good-lookin lassie if thats how you react to anyone mentionin' her." Shawn comments. You knew exactly what he meant. "Oh shut the fuck up, Shawn! Even if i did, I wouldn't be that fuckin horny for her already!" You retort. "Your still blushin~" Wally teases.

You were about to tell Wally to shut up, but., something inside you just stopped you from saying that. "Oh whatever, just keep telling yourself that I like someone if thats what keeps you laughing like a highschool girl." You lean back on the toy machine.

"Hehe.." Wally giggles, but you see his face go dark for a second. "You okay, man?" You notice the sudden change in his expression. "O-Oh, yeah! I'm just.." Wally grabs his broom, "i need to go clean some floors, i just remembered!" He then ran off into the corridors of the studio.

"Jeez, what was that all about?" Shawn raises a brow. "I dunno, I feel like somethin might be up though. I'm gonna go see what the fuck is wrong." You then dart after him.

Shawn remains unphased, he sighs. "How long are you two just gonna keep pinin' over one another.." He says sadly. "Why does it have to be like this.." He reminisces the sad reality of not being able to love someone for such a stupid thing.

Regardless, you kept after Wally. Until finally, you opened the door to where you were told he headed. And as you opened the door, you were greeted by.. a crying and whimpering Wally.

[flowerslightning]

The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hey

Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in

Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?

Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it

Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself

Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes

Joe: I see that

Joe: your accent down the 📞?

Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour

Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way

Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands

Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing

Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones

Joe: i’ll keep that in mind

Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie

Joe: not actual escorting

Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model

Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that

Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one

Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already

Joe: I just did

Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌

Ronnie: sexist not to ask me

Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf

Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie

Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well

Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you

Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me

Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure

Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole

Joe: cheers

Joe: take 20% commission or whatever

Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this

Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig

Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of

Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah

Joe: you wanna do it?

Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention

Joe: not what it is so no

Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you

Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me

Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it

Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so

Joe: she’d be really let down

Ronnie: usually what gets you off

Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like

Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special

Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best

Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower

Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔

Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about

Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her

Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright

Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right

Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have

Ronnie: i dont dream 💔

Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you

Joe: or anyone, really

Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping

Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake

Ronnie: what you cant read me

Joe: clearly not

Joe: dashed your modelling dreams

Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you

Joe: is that sympathy?

Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time

Ronnie: again you wish

Ronnie: 💭💉

Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz

Joe: maybe I do

Joe: far as 💭s go

Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont

Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her

Joe: not tried it

Joe: but not a no

Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her

Joe: that is a no, tah

Ronnie: tell her not me baby

Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?

Joe: gutted

Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us

Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then

Joe: make a change for me

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up

Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam

Ronnie: not oi ing you

Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair

Ronnie: life aint soft lad

Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you

Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there

Joe: purely here for the homophobia

Ronnie: your kinks match 💘

Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks

Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘

Joe: the sisterly thing

Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth

Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt

Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira

Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers

Joe: lucky girl

Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you

Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you

Joe: i fit less than you, by far

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: sorry

Joe: it’s weird, say the least

Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont

Joe: ditto

Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though

Ronnie: no

Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common

Joe: just the same mother

Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times

Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word

Joe: incubator then

Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down

Joe: worse if she did, the state of

Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you

Ronnie: were not the fucking same

Joe: you reckon

Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it

Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?

Joe: woah, just say you love me

Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us

Joe: hot

Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty

Joe: uni ain’t that interesting

Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round

Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna

Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done

Joe: nah

Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative

Ronnie: i dont want a narrative

Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker

Ronnie: in your dreams

Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual

Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like

Joe: Static is my kink

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do

Joe: i’m a gentleman

Joe: and i’m taking that review

Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are

Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand

Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class

Joe: let’s do something

Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit

Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get

Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you

Joe: thank god

Joe: so take the risk

Ronnie: of what

Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you

Joe: that’s surely a given

Joe: risk anything but

Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her

Joe: christian grey or superman, like

Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell

Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that

Joe: touche

Joe: come on, what would convince you

Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it

Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see

Ronnie: then the answers nothing

Joe: nah

Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed

Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things

Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then

Joe: the opposite of that

Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah

Joe: nah, I am

Ronnie: like fuck will you

Joe: see, you want to be disappointed

Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it

Joe: if you don’t come and see

Ronnie: come where

Joe: see me

Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go

Joe: fuck sightseeing

Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]

Ronnie: go there

Joe: now?

Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go

Joe: okay

Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t

Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates

Joe: when you’re done being disappointed

Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not

Joe: you’ll see

Joe: I can’t show you over the phone

Ronnie: you could

Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager

Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either

Joe: pictures not doing no favours

Joe: if you’re there and i’m there

Ronnie: big if

Joe: I never know where to be

Ronnie: newborn i heard you

Joe: something like that

Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺

Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour

Joe: true

Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though

Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead

Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size

Joe: she’s a big girl

Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy

Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said

Ronnie: fuck all going for her

Joe: way to get in shape

Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls

Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue

Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her

Ronnie: 🐎

Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath

Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived

Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit

Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad

Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so

Joe: hold on

Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy

Joe: ugh, I wish

Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it

Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out

Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind

Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother

Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right

Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?

Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session

Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like

Joe: dangerously close to sharing there

Joe: you got your 💉 already then?

Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had

Ronnie: unlucky you

Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you

Joe: so I’ll cope

Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up

Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah

Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like

Joe: 💔

Joe: validations the last thing i need

Joe: had a whole lifetime

Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need

Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans

Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either

Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it

Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do

Joe: attention seekers anonymous

Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸

Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs

Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway

Ronnie: does it fuck

Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass

Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit

Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit

Joe: it’s not that

Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be

Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck

Ronnie: dont give em the choice

Joe: why?

Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to

Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre

Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try

Ronnie: then dont

Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail

Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep

Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞

Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever

Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common

Joe: just 50% of our DNA

Joe: never said we were twinsies

Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run

Joe: I wish

Joe: has your face healed

Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that

Joe: 😏

Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need

Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend

Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue

Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here

Joe: spoilsport

Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy

Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny

Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking

Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright

Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there

Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas

Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow

Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit

Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story

Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy

Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off

Ronnie: if we re telling stories

Joe: 😂

Joe: where we keep the horse

Joe: that en-suite is massive

Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash

Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked

Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me

Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah

Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with

Ronnie: youre welcome like

Joe: gotta stop being nice to me

Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch

Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕

Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do

Joe: obviously you’re that type

Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍

Joe: you’re inspiring, like

Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite

Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere

Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out

Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆

Joe: have a go at pushing it back in

Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism

Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off

Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]

Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]

Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite

Joe: 🚫🐍

Ronnie: gutted

Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever

Joe: I’ll take you back

Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as

Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help

Joe: you know I meant to Dublin

Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I said if you want

Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want

Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials

Joe: you’d need directions

Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent

Joe: can’t say it’s your loss

Ronnie: shut up about it then

Joe: 🤐

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it

Ronnie: sizeist

Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine

Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment

Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe

Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it

Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain

Joe: go on, for your lols

Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch

Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too

Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be

Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too

Joe: if you’re lucky

Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔

Joe: damnit

Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?

Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for

Ronnie: noted

Joe: only the good ones

Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads

Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st

Joe: where were you

Joe: wonder how close it was

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending

Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane

Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah

Ronnie: you didnt say when

Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]

Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces

Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood

Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut

Joe: awh

Joe: message him 🧓🏼

Ronnie: fuck off calling me old

Joe: 😏

Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on

Joe: what mess have you made

Ronnie: havent killed myself yet

Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing

Joe: possibilities are endless still

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: come out

Joe: we can get new ink to dig out

Joe: whatever

Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time

Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way

Ronnie: flashy cunt

Joe: what being a student is all about

Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do

Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺

Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand

Joe: I could

Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby

Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?

Ronnie: nah not that ive heard

Joe: come on

Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads

Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah

Joe: shit i mean

Ronnie: why

Joe: why wouldn’t I

Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it

Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know

Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not

Ronnie: like its nothing

Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago

Joe: then tell me to leave

Joe: like it’s that easy

Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear

Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair

Joe: I never had the choice

Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time

Joe: you’ve always been in my life

Ronnie: and youve never been in mine

Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it

Joe: Alright

Joe: do it then

Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do

Joe: I’m not going unless you say it

Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you

Joe: like fuck it is

Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at

Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is

Joe: lie better

Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like

Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now

Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back

Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending

Joe: I never said I was a good person

Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you

Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out

Joe: Piss off

Ronnie: lie better cunt

Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem

Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done

Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies

Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong

Joe: I like you

Joe: I want you, to get to know you

Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself

Joe: So make me

Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do

Ronnie: fucks sake

Joe: you ain’t saying anything

Joe: what do you want

Ronnie: I dont want you to like me

Ronnie: fuck is that

Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable

Joe: not going to tell no one am I

Ronnie: so hate me soft lad

Joe: I’ll give it a go

Ronnie: ill make you

Joe: give it a go then

Ronnie: where are you then

Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]

Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]

Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]

Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]

Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]

Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]

Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]

Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]

Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]

Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]

Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]

Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]

Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]

Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]

Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]

Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]

Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]

Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]

Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]

Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]

Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]

[meltedhorror]

Midsommar; as reviewed by me, a Swede

Okay so! Finally got around to writing this. This might be a long post, but oh well. Obvious spoiler warning.

For those who don’t know, I’m a Swede, born and raised in Sweden, having celebrated Midsummer every year that I’ve been on this earth. So needless to say - I would dare to say I know a bit about Midsummer. BUT I will admit that I may not be the very most knowledgable about how it was celebrated in the past and the exact origins about it. But I’ll try my best.

SO IMPORTANT TO KNOW BEFORE WE START TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY HANDLED MY CULTURE IN THE MOVIE.

Midsummer (in Swedish Midsommar) is the celebration of the fertilization of the earth, or the world being reborn anew. The celebration is to ask the gods/spirits to bless us with a good year of harvest and to keep our animals healthy. And thats the rough explanation of it.

So lets get into the movie stuff and see what they got accurate, no?

When our main cast arrive in Sweden and get to... I forgot the name of the place they went to-- I have relatives who come from there. Anyway, they are greeted with people doing drugs, drinking mushroom tea (also drugs) and being greeted by the multiple day celebration and preparation for Midsummer.

I don’t know how it is in other countries, but yes some people do make tea on special mushrooms here, and you do get high on it. You get these mushrooms from cow or horse shit, cause they grow in that, and then you make tea of it. It causes mostly hallucinations. I have friends who do it and I’ve been offered it a few times as well.

I don’t really know how every single person in this country spends their days before Midsummer, some may very well be hanging out doing drugs. But thats not really something majority of people do (surprise surprise).

When it comes to celebrating for a longer time.

It depends on where you are in the country. Some people make a huge thing out of it, celebrating sometimes the entire month, while others (like me) only spend like two days preparing and one day celebrating. It really depends on the people, how many are attending each separate celebration, and if its a local community centre (hembygdsgård in Swedish) thats holding the celebration.

What you do during this preparing time is things like building the majstång (dunno the translation tbh), make the food, depending on where you are make the special clothes for each participant, and a lot of girls pick flowers (we’ll get into that later).

So.. The clothes?

Yes! So we see people wearing these special clothes in the movie, and in this case they’re completely white and have runes on them. Again this depends on where you are and how you celebrate Midsummer if you actually wear these clothes.

Many hembygdsgårdar have them, and a lot of people do wear these clothes. But they come in many variants!

As you can probably tell, we don’t wear just plain white, but dress pretty colourful for the occasion!

You’d also probably wear a flower crown if you celebrated. Me and my mom always used to make flowercrowns for Midsummer when I was a kid, although they always came out very bad lmfao

So the midsommarstång or majstång?

Ah yes, can’t forget the main piece of the event! And I’m so glad they got it accurate in the movie! Or... Accurate with minor changes lmfao

(I couldn’t find a better picture I’m sorry)

So in the other two images that are not from the movie, we also have this centre piece I guess I could call it. This is the most important thing in our celebration, and it comes in two variant. The classic symbolism one (I will explain don’t worry) and one thats just a leafy pole with ribbons coming from the top.

The version we see in the movie however is the most common and has huge symbolism. What they did change about it though is that they put runes in the rings, which to my knowledge no one has ever done in this day and age, nor in the past.

BUT ANYWAY THE SYMBOLISM, DAMN I GET OFF TRACK FAST.

Remember how I said Midsummer is the celebration of the rebirth of the earth? The majstång symbolises a penis and a vagina, going into the ground to fertilize the earth and give life anew. Yes. We dance around a massive dick and coochie, what do you do during your summer?

The majstång is made of wood and leafy branches and a lot of the time is held together with steel wire or other sticks that are more bendable. And in my opinion? They nailed it in the movie.

I mentioned the girls picking flowers.

Okay so the day before Midsummer (I’m pretty sure at least) the girls would go out to pick flowers. But you have to do it in a certain way (which I don’t remember honestly) and you have to pick seven types of flowers. You have to walk backwards, and climb and walk a roof, and jump a gärdsgård (type of fence), and... Thats about what I remember.

What you do with these flowers after that is you put them beneath your pillow, and go to sleep before midnight, and then you’ll dream of your future lover.

Did I do this even though I’m a guy? Yes. Did it ever work? Hm... Not sure.

So what do the guys do? I honestly don’t really remember. I’m pretty sure you just go about your day as normal and help with chores and stuff. I might be wrong though.

They do this weird thing with their hands...

So throughout the movie you see the Swedes doing jazz hands I guess you could describe it the best. I’ve given it some thought, and I’m pretty sure what they’re doing is doing a forest clap, or a silent clap. I don’t know how it is in other countries but-

So basically when you’re out in nature you don’t want to disturb it, or you just don’t want to make a lot of noise, you can clap your hands like that. It means the same thing.

How do I know? Cause we got to learn two types of forest claps in school when I was a kid when we were out looking at rocks that got fucked when the great ice moved across the land.

So it might look weird, and I do admit it IS weird, but they are essentially just clapping their hands at things.

Okay, so how about the runes and learning runes?

In the movie they talk about how all the kids learn runes and how they write in runes. This is not something we do, obviously. But we do learn runes in school! Believe it or not, there was a time when I could write fluent runes and translate Swedish into runes.

They also talk about the runes having a great power. And this is actually interesting!

Back in the days of the Vikings, when we wrote in runes for real, they believed that the runes had powers and that if you etched the runes in with a weapon, either the rune got power of the weapon did (don’t remember which one). Thats why the runes do not have curved lines, because it was both difficult to make curves with something you slash at a rock or piece of wood, and you wouldn’t get as much power out of the rune/weapon.

Some runes have specific meanings, but majority of runes you’ll learn or see are just plain out letter you use to create words.

Runes are not inherently connected with Midsummer in the sense they want it to in the movie.

They made two old people jump off a cliff and die.

Okay so me being ever so slightly uncultured didn’t really know what this was either until I watched the movie, however my mom did.

Ättestupa was a way of punishing people, more specifically criminals. Once sentenced to have committed a crime, you could be thrown off this cliff and people would gather around to watch this. Think beheading in France, but instead you throw someone off a cliff.

That’s what my mom knows about it, and we actually live pretty close to one of these spots. However I’m a bit unsure if that was the only thing, as Google wants to tell me otherwise. They may very well have made old people jump, or them deciding themselves to jump.

But I can guarantee this has absolutely nothing to do with Midsummer.

So... THAT scene...

You know what I’m talking about. That one scene that got the entire audience to laugh uncontrollably in my case.

First thing I have to mention about this is that they state she’s Byxmynding, which they did explain as of legal age to have sex in the movie. And thats exactly what it is. Its the age of consent, or rather when you turn the age of consent. You become Byxmynding.

This age is 15 here in Sweden, and it is not legal for someone above the age of 18 to have sex with someone who is 15.

I just wanted to throw that out there.

Now obviously here’s where we step away from what is true and what is fiction and just horror. But I will also say that I’m pretty sure somewhere I’ve read that in the past that during Midsummer there would be orgies to celebrate the rebirth of the earth.

Don’t take my word for it, I may be wrong. But I’m pretty sure that was a thing.

Nowadays a lot of new age people in this country do that however.

The dude hanging from the ceiling with his lungs out his back.

This was a way of torture during the Viking age. You could either do this from the chest or from the back, but the intention was to make it look like you had wings as you were slowly dying.

The dancing around the majstång and the food.

This is something we do, we do dance around the majstång to music. As for the whole dance until you can’t stand anymore because myth of girls dancing to their death thing, I can’t confirm it and I can’t deny it. Its probably something pretty accurate, and I want to remember actually hearing that as a kid when we celebrated in school.

When we dance, depending on where, the people, etc etc, you may have a live band playing things like the fiddle, accordion, guitar, flute, things like that. Or you may just put on a recording of Små Grodorna and jump around to that.

We dance around for a while to the music, maybe play games during it, and then we finish to go eat with our family/friends/other people (Depending how you celebrate)

What we eat is things like herring, surströmming, boiled potatoes, eggs, knäckebröd... Maybe other things too. Personally I’m no big fan of the fish thats served and I usually just eat smoked salmon that I brought myself so I won’t starve.

So... What are my final thoughts about this movie?

I actually really enjoyed it! I could tell they put in good amount of research to make this, and thats always appreciated. Of course Midsummer as a normal thing here is not scary or horrific like in the movie. What I would describe what we see in the movie is cultish, and almost mixed with new age in a way.

They did a great job of depicting it as something strange and twisted, even to an audience who has been raised with this celebration.

I also really appreciate that they hired Swedish actors and actually spoke real Swedish!! It did so much for the movie to me, unlike other films set in Sweden (cough cough The Ritual fuck you thats not Swedish). I don’t know if English speaking who don’t know Swedish get English subtitles on the parts they speak Swedish, but it still does so much. And the dialogue didn’t feel forced or strangely translated, it felt... Natural. Even in a creepy way. But I will admit that a lot of the line delivery was very stiff and robotic.

I enjoyed it. As strange as it is, I enjoyed it.

Oh also the singing you hear throughout I’m pretty sure is a weird mix of Joik, which isn’t inherently Swedish, but eh who cares at this point

[lesbian-octoling]

Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!! 

@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.

First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.

First off-

I’m sorry.

This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.

I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.

I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.

But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.

#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace

Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!

Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.

Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!

Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:

‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.

Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).

Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.

I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.

Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.

Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.

And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…

I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.

But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.

I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.

#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.

But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.

Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…

And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?

Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.

I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…

All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.

I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.

Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!

[mifhortunach]

@thaliatimsh​ - im so sorry!!!! a vague ‘riffing off of (tm)’ what i was saying? (trying to say) last night  - but Mostly// word splurge everywhere :/ - unsure if theres either a/t Clear or!! tbfh a/t of worth here, but yk :T :S !

thaliatimsh said: I thiNK you are RIGHT re: distance n i wonder. … why. Considering distance in gibson bein murdererererd scene… tins of mystery… (like a week previous MAX). I wonder. Why. Im not very good at bein clear anyway im. Fffff.

=> fgksdhfg, idk if youve had the same thought w this as i have, or mabs,, its lead to/from the same thought but like. Hickey’s plan was always probs gonna end/hinge a lil on cannibalism? [‘Lads Gotta Eat! People Made O’ Meat!’; Hickey’s Personal Sledge Hauling Song, 1847.] Ofc they all already know tht the cans are making them Weak & WEird™ .

so im Not getting confused!!! Just #FAx: at some point theyre gonna run out of food With Them, so Options~: 1) take tins proffered by crozier, 2) somehow they manage to find game! 3) boys were made for eating

So assuming tht no ones gonna keel over anytime soon, theyre deffo gonna have to kill /Someone/

Once gibson ‘runs out’ [[ :(( ]], they gotta go back to tins, or they gotta get another Body p much. ppl who CAnt be ate!: Hickey (ofc), Diggle (For Now/, until Armitage gets his HACCP qualifications), Goodsir (butchers are hard to train up, lads might get queezy chopping up their M8s)

Gkdsfhgk, distance as a food preparation method, a book by cornelius (EC) hickey !! - is what im TRYINBG to get to as my point !!! jfc, idek

but idk if thats rly necessarily a v strong (or tbf, Accurate) Take yk? i gotta think it over, & leave this pot boiling someplace else temporarily or smth

=====================

[[i think,, what i meant w/ Deliberateness, as much as i like. ½ tried to articulate it there last night (& now having read over a lil of tht, have v little clue WHat Exactly i was trying to be saying there tbfh), is that Of Fckn Course// hickey is deliberately setting him Apart “DELIBERATE isolation of hodgson during that scene (plate, cutlery, separate space, different /meat/)” like u said!! But i think up Til tht point, its one of those weird cases where its not being Enforced~ as such? [tht might just be my own reading tho? Which are.. while Not ~Notoriously Off-Base? But often taking the ‘’wrong part’’ of a thing as the important element, or just straight up Confused, rip lmao]

Like /Like/. The Hodgester™ has just turned up into a place already filled w dudes who are all a lil asshole-ish & starving! - & enough of them are running from a hierarchy issue, rather than a deep abiding love for EC, i suppose? Uhm - && they all wanna Be There (for want of a better descrip/). So, i was ½ at it thinking(?) abt if it was mayhaps (originally) one of those things where u accidentally(?) isolate yrself from the rest of the group bc u dont wanna bother/intrude/dont feel welcome [The Sk00l Feelingz] & thru that slight gap you end up falling thru the cracks as twere & /Actually/ becoming Set Apart. 

&& like. Idk, on #mutineers side; hes just turned up! Hes Hierarchy!! & yk still,,, Officers/Men Divide~ the line drawn in the 6ft X 4ft ice-cave separating the messdeck & the wardroom ! which despite no longer /Rly/ being in place now, or honestly nearly as much as gone post-walkOut, has gotta be subconsciously embedded ? dunno [tbfh, im word vomiting rly Badly// now - i think u were & Are!! Right abt it, & yr fic Felt Right// abt it!! Which means it may as well be True & Canon & Real, etc: Often Always thinking abt the different ways of saying lieutenant, oof :( ] ]]

maybe what i mean is like; I'm Not Sure! (personally :S ) if it started out Accidentally, Deliberate Banal, or Deliberate Malicious, yk??

&& Whether its been a gradual progression, or happened much more Starkly when they decided to captainnap crozier, or spatchcock chicken gibson & other stuff? dunno

((i gotta [REally Gotta//] rewatch the last couple of eps, so i get the planning/timing etc right in my head? bc idr if the plan to marry tuunbaq was ‘hatched’ pre or post captainnapping, or if they were related At All -> do feel like the hermitage i mentioned going on has gotta be extended just so tht i can think things into #clarity, as well as actually watch the show again before making up shit, lmao)) 

--- thinking abt: 

possibly hodgester’s confession & inability to kill hickey in contrast w fitzy’s confession & offering up of his body? but idk what that IS or MEANS, or if its even THERE [yr talk of him as,, ‘the average mans james fitzjames’ is,, im Lov,, Truly Banger & Deeply Upsetting :( ]

smth poss to be said abt how Much// of what george says/dialogue is abt food & his big monologue is abt cannibalism & transubstantiation yk? Idk [hodgester, location: North Artic Circle, likes: etymology, religious guilt, languages, musical instruments, food & learning abt how its prepared :(( ] other than, yk, Mood, Big Same There Lads

===

To Conclude, yr 100000% right, Magnus Manson Good Boy, Packed The Plates & Forks

[agentoperationblackout]

Part two of an archive of a conversation between three EPF agents.

721: so… if you don’t mind me asking………

053: pfft its no problem dw

053: obviously i wont tell you exactly who they are cause even if im wrong thats gonna possibly endanger them

053: but like… you know how our usernames have numbers and stuff?

053: they used to correspond to when you joined

053: like thats why REALLY old agents have lower numbers, like me!

053: like agent d for example, shes been working here for a super long time right?

053: ive talked to her before, her number is in the 20s

053: to put things in perspective, jpg is in the 60s

053: and im obviously 053

721: woahhhh

721: wait but there’s no way theres over 700 agents, i feel like things would be really different if that were the case

053: yeah! like i said this was the old system

053: once they migrated to the epf they obviously lost a lot of info from the psa

053: which included the system and how they regulated this to make it automatic

053: at that point with everything else that was going on, g probably just gave up on what was effectively an organizational system

053: there were bigger issues to deal with as you could imagine

053: so now you just get randomly assigned a number thats not in use

053: which means you could get agents who just joined after the popcorn explosion who are number like 998 or somethin

053: and also have agents who just joined before the blackout have like 012 just because the original holder of that number retired or somethin

053: just to name a few examples

721: woah…

721: okay that’s all super cool but what does it have to do with who The Agent is?

053: im getting to that

053: youve read the reports right?

053: i dunno if those are mandatory to read or anything since obviously they didnt exist when i first became an agent

721: wait which reports

721: sorry there’s kind of a lot

053: oh sorry yeah

053: the missions having to do with herbert

053: like when he tried to chop down the ski ledge

053: or when he dug all those holes under club penguin

053: they arent special clearance i dont think but im not sure

721: i think some are since when i’ve read through them there’s always gaps

053: oooo yeah

053: i actually have special clearance since ive worked here so long

053: doesnt really matter anyway though since i lived through most of it

053: but like one detail i always noticed about the reports is that they always omitted the name of the agent doing those missions

053: i know the way our agency works

053: they would have assigned the same agent to deal with herbert pretty much every time

053: cause like

053: that way they wouldnt have to reexplain things to the new agent

053: plus that agent would already know how herbert works and could figure him out better

053: now, i dont know if they were gonna do it anyway, it was some error, or if the agent in question requested their identity be omitted in the reports

053: but im SUUUPER leaning towards the agent in question requesting their identity being omitted

053: since im pretty sure that The Agent is the one who’s dealt with herbert for so long already

721: wait you’ve lost me sorry

053: no its alright!

721: why do you think that The Agent is the same agent who was in the missions with herbert? Sorry

053: no its fine! i should have made that clear eheh

053: so like, think about what we know about The Agent

053: what comes to mind?

721: uhh…

721: they were close with the director, they’d have to be really high up for the director to trust them with that chat client thingy they were using

721: especially since they said that thing about assuming control of the epf, also they knew for sure before the rest of us the director had been taken

721: they seemed pretty insistent on people not knowing their identity, don’t know why that would be though

721: from what i can tell they know herbert and how he operates pretty well

721: also overall they seemed to really know what they were doing and the protocol and stuff

721: oh yeah they mentioned they knew some high up agent that was captured but that might just be the director

721: then again if that were the case they probably would have just said “the director”

721: from the way they talk they clearly value the epf and our island above anything else, even more so than most agents do

721: that’s… that’s about it honestly

053: mhm i came to the same conclusions about them

053: now, and this might be a bit harder,

053: think about what we know about the agent who faced herbert so many times

053: and also what kind of penguin would they probably be

721: hmmm

721: they’d have to be pretty good at thinking on the fly

721: and if i remember right from some of the reports, they had a rather unorthodox way of solving problems?

053: indeed

053: they’d do some of the most irrational things and always end up on top

721: jet pack guy must’ve hated it

053: oh he did dont worry

721: okay also uh…

721: they’d have to be pretty smart i guess? or just know herbert really well in general if they were able to beat him so many times

721: hmm…

721: i don’t remember the details of the missions so well off the top of my head i’m sorry

053: nah its understandable!! you newer agents must get really overwhelmed with just how much stuff you have to read through

721: yeah…

053: but yeah youre pretty much right

053: and looking at it it just… makes sense?

053: like forgive me i know i sound like a conspiracy theorist but it just all fits together so nicely if the agent is also the same agent who just went against herbert so much 053: i forget where i was going with this

053: i am so sorry give me a minute let me read back what started this

721: omg it’s fine!! this is all so interesting :O

721: also it’s nice to see you so excited about something!!!

053: eheh im glad you think so!

053: awww sappy

053: what can i say, this has always been just what im interested in

053: its just been such a nice reliable constant thing, its nice

053: i mean, ive told you why i joined, havent i?

721: yeah and i still wanna hug you for that

721: you didnt deserve that crap

053: eheh…

053: thanks…

053: but yeah its just

053: i guess im doing what an agent should never do

053: but it’s just what seems and feels right?

053: i think ive said before but im a big believer in cosmic fate and destiny and things like that

053: so i dunno

053: i guess it’s just a nice idea that the same agent who first met him could still be fighting against him now

053: especially in a time like this

053: if i have nothing else to hope for, i wanna hang onto this

053: i believe in the agent. i really do

053: gah, im sorry, im really rambling now arent i!!!

053: i didnt mean to go on such a tangent whoops

721: :00000 no it’s really okay!!!!!

721: like i said it’s really nice seeing you be passionate about stuff really anything

721: i’m sorry if this comes across as rude or anything but you just… always seem so distant i guess

721: i always worry about you, but… kat said this was just how you were and that i shouldn’t worry…

721: but i always did anyway

721: so i really am glad to see you enjoying yourself like this

053: aww, thank you

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 5: “Nothing to Report” - Jabari

JENNET 

jennet vs ethan? more like jennet + ethan😀😀😉😉

(a little later)

plan was a success, i know thats right!

ETHAN

Somehow the Pennino vote worked, and Pennino if you are reading this, you really are an amazing guy, and I hope we get a second chance someday. That being said, you are too smart and self-aware, and that is dangerous. For this round, the reward challenge is interesting. I haven't met everyone in the game yet, so I don't know if people are looking at challenge results yet, and I have done my best to have middling performances, but winning this would mean I get put in the spotlight again for winning 2 individual rewards, so that potentially makes me nervous. More than anything, I want to avoid tribal, I don't think there would be a repeat of last time if we go again. I anticipate a swap in 1-2 more votes, either to 2 or 4 tribes. Video conf coming soon :D

JABARI

The girls and I flopped on the reward challenge and Ethan came up like a beast. I really feel out tribe of 5 is doing well and hopefully we can pull win and stay together. If not I Imagine Sam will be out, as for idol searches nothing to report though I feel I am getting close.

JAKE

https://youtu.be/FM19WJ1tTmk witty catchphrase, y'know?

SAM

https://youtu.be/MrYZw3I22ms

JESSICA

Me when I found the idol: :) Me when the hosts told me I had to gamble my vote like 13 times in order to get it: :( I really wish we’d lost now so Nicole could be out and I could have an idol! If we don’t swap next time and it’s there, I’m taking the idol and throwing the challenge. Then we can vote Nicole out and I can have an idol! Will my allies be suspicious that I didn’t vote at that tribal? Not if it’s unanimous for Nicole which you KNOW I’d be doing the work to make happen. If we do swap, I’ll probably go get the idol anyways UNLESS we swap to tribes of 5 and my tribe is bad. But even then, I might as well go get it because I could play it that round if I needed to. Um not much else happened this round! I hope we merge soon.

LINDSAY

sorry ur getting text today ok im so fucin ajfdkhsakjlfhsalkjfhskjfhksjd i hate this anyways i think the tribe is split into two duos and then me - jennet and jabari /ethan and sam. pennino was kinda my duo but also eh. i think ethan has an idol or at the very least an advantage. a f r a i d not sure what to do. could stick w jennet and jabari and hope for the best or preemptively flip and try to make it w ethan and sam... i think there'll be a tribe swap soon but ajsfhsaldfhsdkj afraid if there's too few calumma come merge we'll be fucked but sokka pulled it off before it's not impossible we'll be okay depending. but if i piss off jennet or jabari calumma might not vibe w me following so i'll be stuck at the bottom of the totem pole w old not calumma and that's not a good spot to be either.  :( my "lets do something fun" says lets flip fuck it, but my loyal ass/wants to make it to merge this game ass says sticking w calumma is my best bet. jabari was posting cryptic shit last night so im gonna lead into that and see what hapepns anyways fuck this tribal. fuck tribal. i love all of these people i dont want to vote them out like genuinely there's no one here i want to see gone i HATE THIS anyways if i flip on calumma id probably go jennet bc she's a bigger threat than jabari iirc and if i stay loyal i'd probably aim for ethan bc sam is the more obvious target i... think?

JONES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApcRUkdtxm4

JENNET

going go tribal again im SUPER nervous... i formed a tight alliance with ethan and sam and i feel bad for betraying the girls but this will help propel me in the long run and i have to take this shot

JESSICA

REALLY hoping we don't swap tonight...... that way I can instantly go get the idol! Or if we do swap, I hope I stay on Calumma. I think I should have actually just gone for the idol but I was worried about needing my vote at next tribal and not knowing what's ahead. Like imagine if I went for it, I lost my vote, and I only got the idol to be good for one round. Or for no rounds. It literally would have been useless and I would hate to swap and have no idol AND no vote. At least now if we swap, I definitely have one of those things! I'm not interested in gambling everything to get nothing so it just didn't seem like a smart choice. I did consider taking it and only gambling once just so Nicole definitely didn't get the idol but that didn't seem like a good idea. She only has like a 1/25 chance of finding it IF she's been guessing every single day and even if she does find it and we don't swap, my guess is Pete will want to throw his vote on Mikey which is fine with me because that is their relationship that will be affected, not mine. 24/25 odds Nicole has no idol is better than a 1/13 chance of losing my vote right? I'm honestly not sure as I still to this day cannot do any math <3 I have been saying this whole game I think we're going to swap at 15 into 3 tribes of 5 so hopefully I am wrong! And we swap at 14 or even better do not swap at all again until the merge. At least I will know who could have the idol if we swap. Narrowing this down is useful, as is knowing that the all 3 pre-merge tribe idols likely have expirations close to final 8/9 and probably aren't good until f5. Plus I'll get the chance to try and get another idol from a different tribe (or find out that someone else already has it too!). You may notice I didn't mention my other teammates in this confessional. Well that is because none of them are really here and nothing is going on since we've been winning. I have still been talking to Mikey and Pete on and off but Lovelis seems to be pretty busy so he hasn't been here. And Nicole...... has left me on read again. We just do not know what is going on there.

LOVELIS

WOO we won immunity!! I'm anticipating a swap soon so I'm tryna stay as cool with Mikey and Nicole as I can just in case I'm put on a tribe with them again, but I do hope I can stay with Shane or Jessica in the future because those two are the ones I get on with the most for sure, and I'd feel more comfortable moving forward on a tribe with them for now! I don't think Nicole has any trust in me after the Nash elimination so I'd be more weary if I had to work with her in order to save myself in the long run, but let's see what the future holds shall we!

SAM

https://youtu.be/F0Zt0L8lScA

ETHAN

Ok this tribal is terrifying. Apparently lindsay and jabari are trying to blindside me by telling me the vote is Sam, and this could be a super good bait from Jennet to try to get Sam to idol. If they’re playing logically, they vote Sam if that’s the case anyways. It wouldn’t make much sense for Jennet to spill, not vote with us, and vote for me, I hope these people are logical, because I’m operating under the assumption that they are.

MADISON

I honestly have to laugh at Shane messing up 2 times during the challenges, us having the lowest counting score, and still being immune at the end of the day. It's truly beautiful. Daisy won the reward so she will be attending the tribal tonight and I hope she can give us an idea of how the dynamics are on another tribe. It's hard when there hasn't really been much to do on Brookesia so having a little bit of info could go a long way in this game.

NICOLE

Hello! So we won. I was having a little bit of a hard time this round if I'm being honest so I'm glad we won immunity because I think I definitely would have hit the road if we did not. Logic puzzles are really gonna be my legacy in this game huh...anyway, I have been searching for idols everyday and have not found ANYTHING except a second guess which I already used to find nothing. Even worse it seems that everywhere I look something has already been found! Which means other people have things! Which stinks. But, I think I'm in a pretty good spot if we swap after this round.  But if we stay on this tribe....yikes!

JENNET 

super nervous, i have TWO alliances with the same name... hoping that helps me at tribal so when i say the name of it, both groups thinks its them😳😳

(a little later)

told ethan and sam what jabari and lindsay have planned for them... hoping it doesnt blow up in my face

(after searching for an idol)

was hoping to vote out lindsay bc shes been playing this like shes our leader but shes the stronger competitor and i dont want to push sam and ethan too much

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-RKbRCfntNc75XUsCg7iKmFfxne0qcMt

SAMMY

i feel like this game is nonexistent lately...I do want to say Shane is lucky bc in the counting challenge he messes up like 2-3 times and i was like ...blinks.... idk but luckily we managed to escape tribal council once again so our odds going far and having numbers are pretty high I’d say? I feel like a swap is coming tho so I’m a bit nervous! My confessionals are gonna remain dry for now sorry mwah

DAISY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuVm7kTkEL4 ugh sorry its so shitty this didnt go as planned and i give up. love u all. kiss kisss

PETE

I’m pretty sure Nicole may still get numbers against me when the time comes. I’m nervous for a merge but honestly i’ll be grateful if I even make it to one for the first time lmao like at this point I may have a few numbers but I’m hoping another struggling alliance picks Jessica and I up at the merge and we can rest in majority for a little bit at the start of it. I was thinking about maybe throwing one challenge so we can either A. Vote off Nicole who is a big threat and could do damage later on. or B. Vote off Mikey who could be a secret snake which could win a couple more trust points with Nicole and maybe pick up and ally there. I’m not sure. I did save Nicole in one light by redirecting my alliance’s target from her to Nash, but in another, I didn’t side with her in voting off Mikey so she lost her ally. It’s complex, I feel like throwing a challenge AND not throwing a challenge could both be the mistake I look back on when I get voted out later on. i dunno send help lmao

TRIBAL COUNCIL

JABARI EXIT INTERVIEW

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #252

“Lie’s Memories, Soda Bay”

[Crim] - scuttles down another fight of stairs, heading toward the sounds of voices. He's covered in dirt and coal dust, leaving footprints.

[Crim] - closing in on the sounds, he stops to sniff, then lick the wall. - Not right.

[Crim] - snorting a puff of smoke, he scuttles away, finally entering the kitchen.

[Yaunfen] - Crim!  Crim!

[Crim] - spotting Yaunfen, he prances over, then promptly sneezes.

[Yaunfen] Coughs a little at the smoke- What Crim doing?

[Buff] Frowns- smoking is bad for you

[Doc] Thats a bit smelly Crim, what are you doing? Too many snacks giving you an upset tummy?

[Crim] - frown and shakes himself, making a small dust cloud. - No, looking for thing.

[Yaunfen] - I help!

[Crim] - Maybe, maybe, but not know where look.

[Yaunfen] - What look for?

[Deer] Is just watching, amused-

[Crim] - frown and wrings his front paws - Not know! Red rock! Taste different!

[Deer] - Netherrack?

[Crim] - blinks and shrugs. - Not know! Only know taste.

[Deer] - Hmm, Love?  Can we get some items from creative?

[Doc] Sure! - Xe's just happy for a simple problem- how about redstone? Or netherwort? -sets them on the table.

[Liz] -Leans head over to nibble on some redstone-

[Crim] - comes over to sniff the redstone and sneezes. Pokes the netherwort with a claw, not wanting to sneeze more. - No, smells wrong, wrong.

[Yaunfen] Points at magma blocks which form the next room- What about those?

[Crim] - looks over to the blocks. Scuttles over and sniffs. - Smell better. - Then licks the magma block.

[Yaunfen] - Hot!  Hot!

[Crim] - licks the block again, then scrapes several sets of claws across the top.

[Liz] -Eating redstone and watching Crim eat a magma block- Nice.

[Crim] - finally manages to break the block, then takes a sizable bite out of it. He purs, but looks around. - Better, better. But not red rock.

[Doc] What else is even red? - pulls out red wool, red clay and even red cement powder.

[Liz] Fire rock? Have fire rock!

[Crim] - sighs, crunching the last of the magma. Scuttles over to sniff all the things Doc is tossing out.

[Doc] All that's left is poppies , red bedsheets and... Lava.

[Crim] - sighs, shaking his head. - No. Me go hunt more. - Stands and darts out of the kitchen.

[Yaunfen] - Bye!

[Doc] I really hope what he needs isn't confined to the modded seed he came from...

[Buff] I get giving snacks while babysitting, but junk food for breakfast Yaunfen?

[Liz] Iss what Yaun eats!

[Liz] -Proceeds to gnaw on a fire shard since shi mentioned it earlier-

[Doc] Liz is right, they're whole seed is like that. The dirt is cake and the trees drop candy apples and ice cream cones, the water is fizzy soda and the grass is made of fruit Popsicles.

[Buff] Long stare- I think I gained several pounds and got a cavity just thinking about that.

[Yaunfen] Holds a lollipop out for Buff-

[Doc] Pats Liz- how are you doing kiddo?

[Buff] I think I'll pass, thank you though. I like to stick with the basics. Plenty of roughage! -Takes a bite out of a raw potato

[Doc] Okay, even I think that's weird

[Deer] - You wouldn't think so if I did it

[Liz] 'M good! Skee says when I get even bigger he might take me for a trip to where I came from! *cronch

[Doc] Fair enough, but there's a furnace right there. Raw carrots yes, but potatoes?

[Yaunfen] - Mada all done!

[Liz] Dunno how I can get even bigger, I'm already bigger! Do we get even bigger? Like the big big dark one?

[Deer] - Hopefully you will

[Liz] Me too!

[Liz] Weird to think of, but cool too?

[Deer] Very much so!

[Sky] -snoring, head on table-

[Doc] Good on you, finished all your food like a big kid. I've noticed the sneaking out to sleep with me and Deerheart is still at a steady level. Do you need anything for your room? To make it more yours?

[Yaunfen] Shakes head- No, just like being with Mada and Mama

[Doc] Oh okay- Xe gives the little dragon a kiss on their head- I guess i should be glad you don't think mama and mada are totally uncool and want to change your room walls to black wool.

[Yaunfen] Tilts head- Whi I do that?

[Doc] it's a thing that happens to human kids sometimes. They get to a certain age and try to assert their individuality by being as different from their parents as possible.

-cronch-

[Yaunfen] - Oh, can we go play in now?

[Doc] Yes, anything. What do you want to do?

[Yaunfen] Shrugs-

[Doc] I did have something I was saving if you wanted to go fishing... -sly look-

[Yaunfen] - Fishing?

[Doc] Yep. It's a nice day out.

[Buff] Giving Doc a suspicious look - I like fishing, but you're up to something Herobrine.

[Yaunfen] - Let's go!  Let's go!

[Doc] Takes something out of a trunk and puts it quickly away - Coming Deerheart?

[Deer] - I'll join you in a bit, I'm going to clean up in here first

[Doc] Ah, okay. We'll be above you so you'll get a good view at least.

[Buff] Above? Oh! The bay!

[Deer] - Have fun!

[Doc] Leads them up and outside. - I have to make some adjustments first, just in case. - Xe takes a strong stance and raises a wall of dirt up from the floor of the bay where is connects to the sea, so it's blocked off into a pond.

[Buff] Just in case of what?

[Doc] Contamination... Deerheart would kick my butt otherwise.

[Buff] Oh. WHAT?

[Doc] Winks- trust me. - Xe throws a few sponges into the new pond and dries it out.

[Yaunfen] - Fish!  Fish!  Sponge?

[Doc] Now we shore things up a bit just in case. - Xe makes the wall taller so the dry hole is safely isolated and begins pouring it full again with a slightly bubbly blue liquid.

[Buff] What in the world?!

[Yaunfen] - Soda?

[Doc] It's water from your seed sweetheart.

[Yaunfen] Jumps around a little-

[Deer] Is giving suspicious looks from below-

[Doc] Waves at her cheerfully while there's still a minimum of liquid.

[Deer] Starts making her way up-

[Buff] Is that bubbly stuff hot?!

[Doc] Nope! Now for the really fun part.

[Yaunfen] Has shifted back to their dragon form and is jumping around excitedly-

[Doc] Pulls out a very gaudy spawn egg - Here's the fish! - Xe taps it a few times and red, yellow and green fish pop out and swim madly away from the shore-  Go get em!

[Yaunfen] Leaps into the water-

[Deer] - Love?  What is this?

[Doc] A present for our child. A little bit of their home seed. Soda water and sweet gummy fish.

[Buff] Sounds a bit too sweet for me....

[Deer] - At what about the lobsters that were at the bottom of the bay?

[Doc] Ummm.... - sheepish look- I didn't see anything when I dried it out?

[Yaunfen] Races through the water, snapping at the fish-

[Deer] Sighs-

[Doc] Scuffs a boot in the sand - Sorry....

[Buff] I think I'll fish on the other side of the divider.

[Deer] - I love you, but sometimes your excitement gets a bit ahead of you.  But it's understandable after how stressful yesterday was

[Doc] Wilts a bit - This whole week has been stressful... and I'd been saving that for a while. I just want Yaunfen to be happy. And it's a good way to keep a food source close for them.

[Deer] - So the bay will just be perpetual soda now?

[Doc] I can clean it up and move it elsewhere if it bothers you...

[Yaunfen] With a mouth full of red fish- MADA LOOK!

[Deer] - It's fine for the time being- Kisses Doc's cheek

[Doc] Blushes under her kiss-

[Buff] Leans over from his seat on the shore to eyebrow waggle at Doc.

[Doc] Can I have one of those Yaunfen? I want your mom to try it.

[Yaunfen] Swims over with it-

[Doc] Kisses Yaunfen's nose - Thank you. - Xe takes the bright red fish and offers it to Deerheart. It's soft and slightly translucent.

[Deer] Takes it and turns it around in her hands before tasting it- That's...  Odd...

[Doc] Just bite anywhere. There aren't any bones.

[Deer] Bites and makes a face- That's...  Not natural...

[Doc] Nope. It's mostly sugar and gelatin and fake strawberry stuff.

[Deer] Hands it to Doc- I think it has to do with the texture

[Doc] Pokes it gleefully. - Well Yaunfen likes it, and that's the important thing.

[Deer] And what exactly is this gelatin?

[Doc] Hmm? I read up on it online. It's cow hoof.

[Deer] Turns a bit green- No

[Doc] Takes a big bite. - Hehe. Okay love. - Turns to watch Yaunfen play- Try to catch a yellow one! They're sort of sweet and sour. Deerheart, you should join me next time I go over to our little one's seed.

[Deer] - Perhaps, but for now I'm going to go sterilize my mouth with alcohol

[Doc] Awww. Is it better then the gold cheese at least? - Big grin.

[Deer] Narrows eyes- No more kisses for a week

[Doc] Sad pouty face- Not even if I kiss you down in the bushes?

[Deer] - ...  Maybe

[CP] Takes to flight and darts in, grabbing his wife out of the middle of all the thorns and carries her a distance before setting her down-

[Lie] - What...  What happened?

[CP] - That would be your defense

[TLOT] From a distance- Not cool Cp!

[CP] - I don't care TLOT!

[Herabrine] Is walking to town for totally not suspicious reasons and stops - Hey Lie! Wow. Your hair looks nice! Did you figure out how to grow it like your plants? - grins.

-[Lie] - Ummm...  I'm sorry?

[Herabrine] Your hair, it's way longer. And did Cp steal your outfit again? That looks like Alex gear.

[Lie] - Ummm...

[CP] - TLOT it's your turn to explain!

[TLOT] still from a distance- Bite me.

[CP] Growls-

[Herabrine] Explain what?

[CP] - Lie has...  Amnesia

[Herabrine] Is silent for a long moment, just floating a little bit off the ground and then suddenly decks Cp right in the face -

[CP] - THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?

[Herabrine] BECAUSE I'M BETTING YOU HAD SOME PART IN IT!

[CP] - I DID NOT!

[Lie] Is looking between the two of them very confused-

[Herabrine] SAYS THE GUY WHO CAN GET INTO PEOPLE'S DREAMS?!

[CP] - LIE...  Lie made a mistake...

[Herabrine] YOU BASTARD!  - she leaps at him, transforming in the air into her guardian form and squashing him against the ground before flopping and jumping on him -

[CP] Teleports out from under her- YOU BITCH!

[Lie] Yelps in surprise and takes a few steps back-

[Herabrine] Aims a scalding jet of hot water at him.

[Mb] Sneaks up behind Lie - Is this a private party or can anyone play?

[Lie] Sets up another barrier of thorns in surprise-

[CP] - OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!- He counters the water with fire

[Herabrine] Casts mining sickness on him-

[Mb] Leaps backward in alarm- Fuck that noise!

[Celine] No fight! No fight!

[CP] - YOU BITCH HOW ABOUT YOU FIGHT WITHOUT YOUR AIR BALLOON OF A BODY!

[Herabrine] Suddenly tps into his face and hits him with the flat of her tail-

[CP] Stands there unimpressed-

[Herabrine] Douses him with hot water again-

[Lie] - Please...  Please stop...

[Herabrine] Huh?

[Celine] No fight!!!

[Mb] You guys are no fun...

[Lie] Is shaking a little- Please?

[CP] - Lie...

[Herabrine] Goes back to her human shape. -Only because you asked me Lie.

[Celine] Rubs on Lie purring-

[CP] Quietly- She was deleted

[Herabrine] WHO DID IT?! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!

[CP] - My NOTCH

[Herabrine] Snarls in fury -

[Mb] Wait, Lie got deleted? I fucking hate NOTCHs.

[CP] - If Doc and Flux hadn't gotten there in time...

[Herabrine] Hugs Lie as much as she can reach- Lie....

[Lie] - Ah, I'm sorry, but who are you?

[Herabrine] Freezes - Lie....? I'm your best friend...? Herabrine... Oh gods...

[Lie] - I'm sorry, but I don't remember...  I only recall my name...

[CP] - Doc says her memories are still compiling, but they should eventually return

[Herabrine] Is obviously just stunned and sad - I... Lie.... Anything you need to recover... it's yours. Just ask me.

[Lie] - Alright?

[Mb] At Cp - Someone here can FIX deletions?!

[CP] Flies back over and lifts her out of the vines again-  Doc can make it impossible for someone to be deleted, Flux managed to grab Lie's code as it was unraveling so they were able to bring my wife back

[Herabrine] But she has no memories...? What went wrong?

[CP] - Doc believes that the physical repairs took priority over they memories, so until she is physically back to normal, she won't remember anything

[Herabrine] Looks her over. - There are some little things missing. Wait, so this is whole new skin? Can you still be little floof?

[Lie] - Little floof?

[Herabrine] Slides Lie a copy of the thin book before Cp can react.

[Celine] Sees the book and cocks her head sideways - FLOOF!

[Lie] - Oh, a cat form?  I accidentally went into one earlier...

[CP] - WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT!?

[Herabrine] Why wouldn't I? I like to play with kids sometimes.

[CP] Groans-

[Lie] - Why is this book apparently about me?

[Herabrine] Because Doc and Deerheart wrote it. It's a dumbed down version of how you two met....

[Lie] - How we met...- She begins flipping through the pages

[Herabrine] Has the biggest shit eating grin-

[Mb] Floats a bit to look over Lie's shoulder-

[Celine] Jumps around squeaking - FLOOF! FLOOF!

[Lie] - Does your little one want to read it?

[Mb] She's seen it before, but go ahead if you want.

[CP] - ACTUALLY, we were heading somewhere...

[Celine] BOOKBOOKBOOK!

[Lie] Hands the book to MB- Here, I think she might enjoy it more if you read it

[Celine] Scrabbles at Lie - FLOOF READ!

[Lie] Yelps at the scrabbles- Um...  Okay?- Carefully she sits down and motions for the dragon to join her.  Once Celine is settled she begins reading

[Celine] is utterly captivated.

[Mb] is trying to make it look like he's smiling because Cp is annoyed, not because Celine is happy

[CP] Is getting more and more angered-

[Lie] Finishes the book- And that's the end

[Celine] Yay! - Jumps up and down and thumps her tail knob in the dirt, it hits Cps foot on the last thump

[CP] String of curses-

[Lie] - Are you okay?

[CP] - Fucking hard ass tail...

[Celine] Sowwy...

[Mb] Hey! Don't apologize!

[Lie] - No, apologizing is a good thing...  I think...

[CP] Purely to annoy MB- Yeah, it's a good thing

[Celine] Scurries over to Mb- Ma! Ma! (said like meh meh) I do good!

[CP] Snickers-

[Mb] Shut the fuck up! She can't say Master yet!!!

[Lie] - Why would she say Master?

[mb] because it's my fucking name?!

[Lie] - Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know...

[Mb] Snorts-

[Notch] is walking down the path on his phone- will you shut up about the damn computer? I've told you a million times: I'm not your tech supper!

[Notch] Does a double-take and embraces Lie wildly- you're back!!!

[Jeb] still talking on the phone that's no longer by his ear- are you going to comment publicly on the big update at least?! Rumors are flying since you vanished!

[Notch] My daughter in law almost died! And you want to talk about the update?!

[Jeb] Wait? A girl?! Fucking  hell! I saw the logs! Did your group fuck up Harvestman?!

[Notch] Stops hugging Lie to yell into the phone - they're people damn it! Delete that monster!!!

[Lie] Is looking at Notch very confused- Um...

[CP] Is groaning-

[Lie] - You... You're Notch, right?  We met yesterday...

[Notch] oh..... Still no memories?

[Jeb] what do you mean no memories? What the heck is going on?

[CP] - Precisely... Can I go punch that moron in the face no?

[Notch] Waves at Cp to please be quiet for a minute- yeah, it's none of your business Jeb. Now finish what you were saying, I have other things to take care of. [Jeb] lots of hurried words- [Notch] is Minecraft what?? Oh for the love of...

[Notch] Yes, yes, I'll tweet about it! Yes, soon! If only to piss off the homophobes! Fuck sake...- closes his phone and scowls at it-

[Lie] -Who was that you were speaking to?

[Notch] that's Jeb, he had a hand in creating everything you see around you. He's just not good with squishy human relations.

[Lie] Oh, I see

[CP] - Lie we should get going...

[Notch] No, you need to hear this too, it's ridiculous! I'm being asked to make an in the record comment as to whether Minecraft is gay or not!

[CP] - An I care why?

[Lie] - Is it?

[TLOT and Steve] walking up-

[Notch] Yes!- gestures at TLOT and Steve-

[TLOT] What?

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake- He's getting more and more fidgety trying to control his temper

[Notch] We released our most colorful update during pride month, with a rainbow parade announcement on the front page! How much more obvious did it need to be?

[CP] Gives off a burst of fire- WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER!

[Lie] Jumps a little and almost bumps into Hera.  Lie glances at the other female brine- Is he...  Is he always this short tempered?

[Notch] Because it was my intention all along! Why do you think players don't pick a gender when they join? And why the animals and basic humans don't spawn with any natural sexual dimorphism?! Minecraft is open to everyone! Gay, lesbian, bi, queer, ace, pan, poly, everybody!

[TLOT] ... That's actually really cool Markus.

[Notch] Thank you!

[Mb] so my home game is officially gay. Greeeeaat.

[Herabrine] Yeah usually, you're the one who keeps him calm.

[CP] - YOU SHIT HEAD!  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CRAP I'M GONNA GET FOR THIS FROM THE OTHER PASTAS!?

[Lie] - ...  Is it an arranged marriage?

[Herabrine] Only in the sense that Herobrines are drawn to someone who is perfectly compatible and then lose the ability to hurt that person. They're generally okay with murdering anyone else.

[Notch] It's not always about you Cp! I wanted to make an inclusive game since way before you were ever spawned!

[Lie] Looks unsure- How am I the one compatible for him?  I can't see it...

[CP] Flips Notch off-

[TLOT] You can't see it because you're not seeing how he was when we first brought you in. Here.... let me give you a taste. - He opens her mind and lets a trickle of memories flow into her's of Cp's behavior, it's from his perspective though.

[Lie] Pales a little, a small tremble going through her-

[TLOT] quietly - Doc helped, but you've made a world of difference.

[Notch] Slides over to Cp - You, know considering that she has no memories. You're making a really bad impression on her....

[CP] Freezes a little and glances over at her, seeing her expression and trembles-

[Herabrine] Gives him an expectant look and gestures to her minutely-

[TLOT] Mentally to Cp- Don't lose your chance...

[CP] - Lie...- He's not actually sure what to do

[Herabrine] He's an idiot Lie, but he does love you. That fucker would happily throw the rest of us to the wolves if it was a choice between all of us or you.

[Lie] - Are you sure?

[TLOT] She's correct. Irritating as it is. Doc has shed a lot of tears because xe overestimated how important xe is as his 'friend'.

[Lie] - I'm not sure I understand...

[Steve] quietly - You're his everything. Herobrine's are very choosy about their mates. Once they fall in love, that's it. They can die if they're rejected. It's the only thing that checks their godly powers.

[CP] - Lie, come on, you said you wanted to see where we live...

[Notch] Pats Cp's shoulder to show he's not mad.

[Lie] - O...  Okay...- She's a bit hesitant to follow CP at the moment, but she's trusting what the others are telling her

[Mb] Love is for weenies.

[Celine] Jumps on him and almost knocks him down - Ma!

[Notch] Pfft!

[Herabrine] Follows Lie and Cp-

[CP] Is annoyed that Hera is following them.  They are passing Stevie's house and the Milotic is sunning itself in the shallows below the house-

[Herabrine] Waves at the Milotic and makes some odd noises at it in greeting-

[Milotic] Raises its head in makes noises in return-

[Herabrine] Chuckles happily. - Nice to have other sea critters around. Except for Basil, it's an asshole.

[Lie] - Basil?

[Herabrine] A massive black sea monster that likes to eat bad vibes. Stand Cp on the shore and poke him with a stick. He throws off enough negative energy to get you a good sighting if your curiousity gets the better of you.

[Lie] - Maybe not...

[CP] - We're here- Ahead of them Lie's house come into view, the small horse pen in front holding it's usual occupants and barking can be heard from the dog pen

[Herabrine] Home sweet home. With all your pets. That stir any memories in the old noggin?

[Lie] Shakes her head- No, but it certainly is a lovely place

[CP] - You built almost the entire place

[Herabrine] Yeah, you had a bit of help. TLOT built Endrea's room on the top and I heard Doc helped decorate the treehouse part and set up the swings.

[Lie] - Who's Endrea?

[CP] - I suppose you could say that she's our dragon

[Herabrine] She's a massive black and purple dragon with three adorable baby dragons. You and Cp raised her from an egg.

[Lie] - Raised her?  How did we get her?

[CP] - She was originally just my dragon, but she has a rebirth cycle, so when she dies she becomes an egg again.  She also made a contract to serve you

[Herabrine] She's pretty cool. And she can look humanoid, hence the normal sized room. Raising baby dragons is like a local hobby around here.

[Lie] - Oh

[CP] Opens the door to the house and immediately Hope runs out and starts rubbing against Lie-

[Lie] -Awww, what a cute kitty

[Herabrine] That's Hope... Your kitten.

[Lie] - She's mine?

[CP] - She's absurdly attached to you

[Herabrine] She thought little Floof was her mama, now you sort of are.

[Lie] - You mean my cat form?

[Herabrine] Yep. One and the same.

[Lie] Reaches down and picks up Hope who snuggles into her arms-

[CP] - The Vulpix's will probably bombard you with affection too...

[Lie] - Vulpix's?

[CP] - You'll see- He holds the door open for Lie and motions her inside.

[Lie] Walks in and looks at her surroundings, they entered via the side door to the workshop and so the barking from the dogs is much louder since they are just on the other side of the window.  Her fingers brush over the books which surround her enchanting table and she stops and looks at the pumpkin by the back door with confusion- Butts?

[Herabrine] Yeah... No clue. It's been there as long as the house has though.

[Lie] Softly grunts but heads for the window- Wow...  There's so many animals outside...  I really take care of them all?

[CP] - You get help rather often

[Herabrine] Yeah... you're good at making friends Lie... really good.

[Lie] - Well I suppose that's a good thing!- Her hand twitches towards her chest

[CP] - Lie?

[Herabrine] Gives her a hopeful stare -Lie?

[Lie] - It's nothing, just some twitches...

[CP] There's a faint glow coming from his chest-

[Herabrine] Are you sure? Should I call Doc?

[Lie] - I...  I don't know...'

[Herabrine] They can do an x-ray just by looking, I'll call. - Is typing-

[CP] - Lie, do you need to sit down?  I can always take you up to the bedroom...

[Doc] knocks on the door and then comes in anyway- Is something happening?!

[Herabrine] Points at Cp's chest-

[Doc] What? OH!

[CP] - Why are you pointing at me?

[Doc] look down-

[CP] Glances down at his chest- Oh...

[Lie] - What's happening?

[Doc] I think one of your missing organs is reforming. And Cp has the other part of it, so his is reacting to it.

[Lie] - What are you talking about?- A particularly strong pulse goes through her and her hand comes up to clutch at her chest

[Doc] Can you pull your shirt down a bit, please?

[Lie] - Um, okay- She tugs the top of the shirt down.  There's a very faint flicker of red light

[Doc] Ah. That's some very important progress. - Xe puts down a wool block and motions for her to sit-

[Lie] Shakily sits- Is there anything I need to do?

[Doc] No, just relax. See, I gave you some of my recursive code just like I did for Cp, and you're rebuilding what you lost from the inside out. I don't think you'll get as much use out of it as Cp and I since you don't like to fight, but it's a good insurance policy.

[Lie] - I'm feeling so weird right now...  Like some sort of connection...

[CP] Is watching worriedly-

[Doc] It is a connection. It was was a wedding gift. Two identical hearts made from one block and exchanged between you. They let you and him share your dreams when you sleep together.

[Lie] - Share dreams?  Wait...- She looks at Hera- Didn't you mention something about my husband having command over dreams earlier?

[Herabrine] Yeah, he's the nightmare king. He can drop someone into a stress dream and hold them there. Even kill them in their dream and they'll die for real. They can't even wake up unless he lets them.

[Lie] - I don't like the sound of that...

[CP] - Hey!  I only used it on you a couple of times very early on...

[Doc] Yeeeaaah.... that was rough. It's handy if we need to subdue someone who won't stop trying to fight everyone though, or... - Xe flashes back to the time Cp used it on hir and the hopelessness and fear they felt sets hir shivering all over again.

[Lie] Is about to ask another question when another wave of pain passes through her and she curls in on herself- Why does this hurt so much?- The glow is much more distinct now

[CP] - Calm down Lie, it won't be long before the pain is gone.  And you weren't in any danger Doc...

[Herabrine] Should I get a potion or something?!

[Doc] quietly to Cp- It still hurt my hearts.

[Lie] - Do you think a potion would help?

[CP] Moves so he's behind Lie-  Hey, just focus on me, it will be okay

[Doc] No idea... This isn't sickness anyway. Just growing pains.

[Lie] Shifts back towards CP instinctually-

[Doc] Mind if I have a look?

[Lie] - Go ahead...

[Doc] Stands in front of her and makes a hand sized portal edged with statick in the air to look into her chest.

-The heart is nearly formed, it's pulsating a bit wildly, trying to find it's other half's rhythm to match it-

[Doc] Watches, more then a bit entranced.

[Herabrine] peeks over - not quite done yet. But getting there.

[Doc] It's beautiful...

[Lie] - I feel out of breath...

[CP] Touches her shoulders, trying to be reassuring and her red stone heart reacts-

[Doc] Just stay calm. This is what's supposed to happen

[Lie] Her heart gives a spurt of growth, reaching it's full size, but it still can't find it's rhythm-

[Doc] Cp... try squeezing her hand in tempo with your beats. Show it the way.

[CP] - What makes you think I can feel the tempo of mine?- He does however reach for Lie's hand

[Doc] You're psychic and you can't take your own pulse Cp?

[Herabrine] Ha!

[CP] - Never had a reason to!

[Doc] Fine. But this is going to hurt. Sorry Lie. - Xe slides close to them both

[Lie] Watches a bit nervously-

[Doc] Puts hir hand on Cp's chest and feels the stone heart to take it's beats, with hir other hand xe reaches through the little hole and holds Lie's new heart tightly for only a moment to stop it and then releases it so it falls in line with Cp's as it resumes.

[Lie] Jerks in surprise at the contact-

[CP] Wraps his arms around Lie to hold her close-

[Doc] Picks up the hole like a plate and looks through it again. - That's better.

[Lie] - I'm...  I'm tired now...

[Doc] Maybe that's for the best. A bit of bedrest won't hurt you any.

[CP] Reaches down and scoops Lie up- Our bed is just upstairs-

[Doc] Oookay. I'm staying close by though.

[Herabrine] Sleep well my friend.

[CP] - Sure, close as in back at your castle

[CN] Is sitting in one of the arches of the bridge-

[Doc] I'll be outside.

[CN] - Lie!

[CP] - Not now, she's tired

[CN] - Where did you take her?  What's going on?  Why is your dad watching me?

[CP] - CN, shut up...

[Doc] Walked outside and transformed under the room before lifting hir head up to peek into the window arch across from them-

[CN] - Tell me what's going on!

[CP] Kicks open the bedroom door-

[Lie] Glances around the room- This is...

[CP] - Our bedrrom

[CN] - Why are you having to explain that!  Of course she knows where she sleeps you big meanie!

[CP] Is very close to kicking CN's ass-

[Doc] Cn.... I'll tell you if you calm down.

[CN] Is frustrated as CP closes the door on him- What's going on!

[Doc] Cn, stop. Lie went out on her own and got badly hurt.

[CN] - No!  Why didn't she take me?  I could have protected her!  That's my job!

[Doc] You would have been deleted. I was almost deleted myself.

[CN] - What...  What could do that...?

[Doc] The same NOTCH that took it upon himself to kill Cp's father, turn his brother against him, deleted his mobs for fun, and was the cause of Cp's recent almost death.

[CN] - A NOTCH?  But... But what would drive one of my kind to do that?

[Doc] We don't know. I don't know why the one that hounded TLOT almost to his death did it either.

[CN] - I don't understand...  Why...  Why does this happen

[Doc] I don't know. I'm just grateful that it seems like the programming parameters have been recently changed.

[CN] - Changed?  Does that mean I'll change?

[Doc] No, you're already generated. Unless you're manually deleted, you'll stay the same. Or... if you want me to adjust your form. - Shakes hir mane a bit for emphasis.

[CN] Shakes his head- I don't know...  But I'm scared...

[Doc] What are you scared of?

[CN] - My lack of strength...  The fact that I only seem to screw things up...  I can't do anything...  And if I were to change, then maybe I'd end up bad...

[Doc] You're young, and you're still learning. It's okay to make mistakes. And being strong doesn't change who you are. Deciding to be an asshole is a concious decision, not a feature creep.

[CN] - Are you sure?

[Doc] Do you really think I wouldn't call someone out if I didn't like their behavior?

[CN] Shakes head-

[Doc] Well there you go. Did you have something specific in mind? Or were you just planning on training until you get some muscles?

[CN] - I don't know...

[Doc] You know... I suspect your child form might be permenant. If you ever want to grow up, I know TLOT could make it happen easily.

[CN] - Grow up?

[Doc] You know, be full size, like Markus. Two blocks high.

[CN] - You mean he wasn't always that size?

[Doc] No, he was a kid once. Like the human children in the village. Before that, he was a baby like Hyrule.

[CN] - Hyrule?

[Doc] Oh, You know BEN right? Dresses in green, with a sockcap? Black and red eyes? He has a son. You should ask to see him next time him or Aven is around.

[CN] - Oh...  But all the other kids are going to get bigger?  But...  I won't?

[Doc] Yes. I'm pretty sure. And I'm pretty sure you being small is what keeps Cp from stomping on you when you make him mad. He'll kill an adult happily, but he has a very hard time even being slightly mean to children.

[CN] Looks down- Is that all I am then?  Just a child meant to be an annoyance?

[Doc] No, you're a green NOTCH. Your progress was retarded somewhat by spawing out in the void, it's okay to not know where you fit just yet. At least Lie likes you. It would be worse if you and her were sworn enemies.

[CN] - But she doesn't need me...

[Doc] You don't know that. NOTCH AI's often have some kind of special powers so they aren't just slain by their brines. We just don't know what yours might be. Just take your time. You might be suprised later on.

[CN] - Okay...

[Doc] Rests hir chin on the sill - Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?

[CN] Shakes head-

[Doc] Hey.... I have an idea. There's a new critter in the update that might be to your liking.  - fusses around in the creative menu

[CN] Watches curiously-

[Doc] You'll need these - tosses out some seeds-

[CN] Gathers them in his hands-

[Doc] Here we go! - xe taps a colorful spawn egg and a white and yellow parrot pops out and hops on the floor - Just tap it with the seeds.

[CN] Fumbles a little but does manage it and soon hearts appear around the parrot- What did I do?

[Doc] You tamed a parrot. They're yours now.

[CN] - So do I take it's feathers now?

[Doc] No! It's a living thing. Be nice to it. Pulling it's feathers out would hurt it!

[CN] - But isn't it for my collection?

[Doc] Yes. Because a friendly bird with feathers still attached is better then a clump of feathers on a string.

[CN] Isn't sure-

[Doc] If you're nice to it, it will fly after you and ride your shoulder. It'll also repeat the sounds it hears.

[CN] - Really?

[Doc] Try it. Talk to the bird.

[CN] - Like what?

[Doc] Anything. Make some animal noises, that would be funny.

[CN] Tries barking like a dog-

[CP] Sticks head out of the bedroom door- Will you two shut up?

[Parrot] Makes a barking noise-

[Chomp] Hears the barking and starts barking as well which sets off all the wolves-

[CP] Is already ready to fire ball the bird-

[Doc] Puts hir head between Cp and the bird/Cn - we're just playing. Cool your heels Cp.

[CP] - Well go do it elsewhere- He shuts the door again

[Doc] Flaps hir jaw in imitation of Cp once the door is shut, strictly to make Cn laugh.

[Parrot] elsewhere! elsewhere!

[CN] Giggles a little-

[Doc] See? It's a cute bird. Promise me your won't pluck it.

[CN] - Okay

[Doc] There you go. And if you're patient, parrots shed feathers periodically anyway. Just set up something in your room for it to perch on.

[CN] - Like what?

[Doc] Armor stand maybe?

[CN] Shrugs-

[Doc] You'll think of something.

[CN] - Okay- Turns and goes into his room

[CP] Teleports out onto the bridge and shoves Doc's head off- Fuck off!

[Doc] Is thrown off balance a bit and almost stumbles into the water. Xe shakes a wet paw in annoyance and huffs before curling up under the room-

[CP] Is watching Lie sleep, her sleep is once again not good, as she tosses and turns in her sleep.  After a short while he crawls over onto the bed and pulls Lie into his arms which calms her sleeping down.  He brushes some hair out of her face as he watches her- Please...  Just come back to me, I don't know what to do without you...

[Doc] Hears the quiet words and sighs. - Having the honesty blossoms near the bedroom once again proves a good idea.

[CP] Hears Doc and growls a little but keeps his wife close- Shut up Doc

[Doc] Settles down and sets out hir personal command block, with a few claw taps xe starts listening to a podcast at the lowest volume. The smooth voice speaks of forbidden dog parks, angels and drifting glow clouds. Before long Doc is dozing to the soothing sounds and the sky turns red and gold as the sun slips under the horizon.

[Lie] She stirs awake once morning comes around and she's a bit surprised to find herself in CP's arms again.  CP glances down at her-

[CP] - Hey, sleep okay?

[Lie] - Yeah, sorry about falling asleep with you again...- She's a bit flushed

[CP] - There's no problem, you seem to be sleeping better if I'm holding you anyways

[Lie] - I'm sorry, it must be an inconvenience to you...

[CP] - Never, besides, you're comfort is more important

[Lie] - And you're really okay with this?

[CP] - Absolutely

-Outside there's a bit of fumbling around as Steffan goes around tending to Lie's animals-

[Lie] - I think yesterday was a bit overwhelming...

[CP] - How so?

[Lie] - There was just so much going on, so many new faces and names...

[CP] - If you start to feel overwhelmed let me know, I'll take you away to someplace quiet

[Lie] - Thank you

[Steffan] Notices Doc and sneaks over. - Any news?

[Doc] No... her special heart grew back but she still has no memories.

[Steffan] Bummer...

[CP] Motions towards one of the trunks in the room- If you want to change into some clothes that are actually yours...

[Lie] - Thank you

[CP] Slips out of the room to give Lie her space-

[Doc] quietly- good morning Cp.

[Steffan] Morning big guy!

[CP] Flips Doc off as he leans against the wall of the bridge-

[Steffan] I'll just go... feed the pigs then...

[Doc] Palms a few emeralds and passes them to him.

[Steffan] Thanks dude.

[Lie] Steps out onto the bridge wearing the end stone shirt and dark pants that Doc made her- So what now?

[Doc] I don't know. I guess it's just a matter of time. It's up to you.

[Lie] I see, would you...  Would you mind if I stayed here for awhile?  I think I'd like to explore my home a bit more

[Doc] I don't mind. I'm just trying to stay close in case I'm needed.

[CP] - You're not

[Doc] When you can work on peoples physical ailments at the same level I do, then you can say that to me Cp. For now you're just being rude.

[CP] Growls a little as Lie walks past him to do some more exploring-

[Doc] And I'm not bothering you. I'm just laying here.

[CP] - You're here, that's reason enough

[Doc] Glares at him- What's your problem anyway? It's not like any of this is my fault.

[CP] Says nothing, but he's on edge.  He just wants his wife back to normal and it's driving him nuts not having her so-

[Doc] I think I have one of her calming blossoms here someplace if you want it.

[CP] Motions towards the greenhouse-

[Doc] No need to pluck her blooms if I already have one. Ah, here- Xe holds the flower lightly in hir teeth by the stem and sets it on the windowsill

[CP] Is really tempted to just knock it off like a cat-

[rurounidrift]

Aug 2 Blurr’s Horror Stream - The Void

Drift wasn’t actually here tonight. Tyran Drift was though!

Maybe next time Drift will meet him.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. B l u r r: / stomping heels are on the way. He's got datapads stacked in one claw, the other holding rolls of maps. Grade A professor here / A113N: Homework, Blurr? B l u r r: Hardly. /scoffs and tries to balance everything/ More like tasks to assign. A113N: Looks like a lot of tasks. Got people doing overtime? XP B l u r r: As of lately, I've been the only person doing overtime.. A113N: But you're the captain? That's lame. Better get everyone to work! B l u r r: ... Yes, that's the intention. /using his heel to kick a datapad back onto the pile / A113N: Glad you stil have time for the movie. Its been a while since I've been to one of these. boomtank: -is going to see if he can actually stay the entire movie this time- Wing: *he tired* B l u r r: Of course I show movies. I just don't really pay attention half the time. I'm busy. A113N: Being busy isn't fun. But getting busy is~~ ;) B l u r r: ... Ew. Wing: *there is an empty chair here with his name on it this time. yes there is* A113N: *chirps at wing* Are you the Wing that I've been talking to recently? drift changed their nickname to TyDrift. Wing: Could be. We went on a trip with that ship's crew to the other world a while back? A113N: Yes! Wing: *tired smile* Allen! I didn't know you'd be here. B l u r r: / anyway. Settles on his couch. Drops all his stuff down to work on / A113N: ...lively crowd. (did you turn everyone into zombies, blurr?) >;) A113N: I didn't expect that I would be there. But I'm glad to see you, Wing Wing: I'm glad to see you, too. Both of you. A113N: Both? Me and who else? If you were taling to someone else, i missed it B l u r r: Me, nitwit. /sticks energon stick in mouth and starts spreading things out on a table/ Wing: *headshake* No, sorry. You and Blurr. *he's tired shoosh* A113N: Oh, yes. Always good to see Blurr. *looks at blurr and smiles* Right, Blurr?~~ B l u r r: I will kill you in ten seconds flat if you hit on me one more time. B l u r r: / chewing energon stick/ Always good to see you too, Whirl. /smirks at. Hisses at Allen / A113N: .... Whirl??? B l u r r: Wing*** A113N: *hisses back at Blurr* B l u r r: [[ sorry im working on something ]] B l u r r: [[ trying to get my notes wrapped up before this [[ A113N: ur good. i thot blurr was teasing allen)) A113N: by calling him someother name. idk)) B l u r r: [[ nah he was talking to Wing ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave peers into the room, checking for sorts he doesn't want to be near* Wing: ((omgs)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Any Ratchets?* Sideswipe: [ loud AHEM behind Soundwave ] Sideswipe: You wanna move, twiggy? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No.]] A113N: *snorts at sides and sounders. heh* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Stays there longer.* Sideswipe: You wanna BE moved? Wing: *soft vents* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Lifts one arm.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Walk under if it's so important.* Sideswipe: ... [limbos under that and skates into the room ] A113N: *oh, its getting interesting in here now* boomtank: -he's awake, he swears- boomtank: -for the moment- ItsyBitsySpyers: *Seems to be okay. Trudges in and takes his seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sheds half a million deployers, or so it seems.* A113N: *!!! minis! so cute! and deadly!* Sideswipe: [ skids on his wheels and looks around ] This place turns into more of a dump the more I see it. boomtank: -stares as 'wave loses half of his weight and bulk- B l u r r: / wiggles claws at Soundwave and co. / B l u r r: Oh, Soundwave. I have something interesting for you. B l u r r: [ is everyone ready? ]] Wing: ((yee)) boomtank: ((yeah Sunstreaker: ((my connection is a little unstable but I'm here!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...What is it.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *is ready* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((er. that should've been parentheses)) B l u r r: It's something you'll like. Claws out, mech. A113N: *sits by wing and leans helm on* :) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Hesitantly holds them out* B l u r r: [[ okay we start now ]] Sunstreaker: /just gonna follow in after Sideswipe/ Why are we back here again? Sideswipe: I came for the food. B l u r r: / reaches out claw and sets a metal case in Soundwave's servos / B l u r r: It's this music box that holds recorded musical history from the planet we recently raided. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Big red exclamation point on visor. He's gonna peek at it.* Sideswipe: ... Movie seems interesting. [grabbing snacks and wheeling over to a couch ] Sideswipe: C'mon, Sunny. Sunstreaker: ... If you say so. Looks messed up to me. /following him anyway/ A113N: D: boomtank: ...isn't that flamable...? Sideswipe: C'mon. It's more action than I've seen in weeks. boomtank: ....yeah, never mind, movie answered me Wing: *he doesn't mind that at all. fact, he might lean a little too* A113N: *soft purr at Wing* B l u r r: Well, I thought you'd like it, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He does. Thank you.]] B l u r r: Mm, good. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Into the subspace it goes. And when he gets home (and makes sure there's nothing spywise in it) it'll go on a shelf.* B l u r r: / wiggles claws at Wing again / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Which is something of an honor.* Wing: *bleary optics but he caught that. little wave* Everything okay? B l u r r: Mm for the most part. B l u r r: / sticks another stick in his denta and spreads out maps/ Wing: *watches Blurr*... Are you okay? B l u r r: Mm? More or less. Just been logging courses. Sideswipe: [ flops down and immediately starts munching on snacks ] boomtank: ......? TyDrift: [just going to quietly walk in late and find a seat, don't pay him any mind] B l u r r: / pays lots of mind. Perks helm up, stick still in his mouth/ A113N: the fuk? B l u r r: / chokes on the energon stick / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...What...]] TyDrift: don't  start blurr B l u r r: Well well well, look who got dragged in. K-Kyeheheh. Wing: *oh* boomtank: ....... TyDrift: ... TyDrift: [ maybe he should leave ] boomtank: That...probably could have gone better B l u r r: / no no stay / Sideswipe: ... [swats Sunny ] Dude. A113N: the poor kid Sideswipe: [ leans over to mumble ] That guy looks like he's from our verse. B l u r r: Aww, his first murder scene? B l u r r: That cop is shady as frag. boomtank: Communications are out. That's not good. Sideswipe: Hey. [throws a snack at TyDrift] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[A ghost. Really.]] TyDrift: [glares at sideswipe] was that really necessary boomtank: That's no ghost boomtank: Too solid Drift: ((too stabby)) boomtank: ((yup TyDrift: Where are your guns ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...They aren't going to lock the - Primus below.]] A113N: Who the what the? Sideswipe: It got your attention, right? boomtank: WHAT was THAT?! Sideswipe: [ leans forward to look at tyDrift ] What's your name? Otherwise, I'm gonna name yah. B l u r r: / chewing on another rust stick/ B l u r r: This is getting exciting... Are they monsters? A113N: *seeing blurr munch on those rust sticks makes him want one* B l u r r: What a survivor... I've survived worse stabs before. A113N: *he's just gonna eye blurr for one* TyDrift: [sideeyes] ... Drift A113N: oh frag no. the frag? TyDrift: Doesn't the cop have a gun? A113N: ugly ogranic A113N: burn it! boomtank: Are...what...no. Just no. boomtank: Don't stab the medic ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Idiot.]] boomtank: What did I just say? A113N: thats all fragged up boomtank: Ohno B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. B l u r r: A monster. I hope it wins. /rubs claws together / Sideswipe: Drift, huh? [ tilts helm ] Don't think I've ever met you before. Drift: ((flickering :/)) boomtank: -staring in mild horror- Drift: ((will alert when the flickering is over)) ItsyBitsySpyers: thx)) TyDrift: [just going to.. cover his mouth] B l u r r: /Ugh does it have to go for the eyes?/ B l u r r: / rubbing optic and optic patch / boomtank: Primus have mercy, that thing is nasty looking ItsyBitsySpyers: can someone summarize please?)) Drift: ((still flashing wildly)) Drift: ((the dude with the axe followed a monster and is now hacking it up)) TyDrift: there's flashing... and chopping... Drift: ((i can't tell who the dudes are, i think they're the pack of folks with the guns that suddenly busted in)) Drift: ((monster's dead. so's the monster's victim.)) Drift: ((okay, flashing's done)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((thank you)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They are quickly running out of humans.]] boomtank: And now the medic is dead too B l u r r: Good. Humans are disgusting. TyDrift: ((that lasted way too long jfc)) boomtank: And the other human TyDrift: Not all humans. Sideswipe: Stuff's gross. [wheels over to where tyDrift is sitting and flops next to him ] B l u r r: Pretty much all of them. boomtank: Um? boomtank: What...just happ-oh they burned it TyDrift: [continues to side-eye] can I help you? Sideswipe: Not really. [chews on another snack ] I'm Sideswipe. Wing: *tired frown* A113N: *pats Wings hand* B l u r r: Oh for pit sake, why do these people always choose the wrong time to eject the parasite? TyDrift: [looks over at sunstreaker] and that's your... brother, I'm assuming? TyDrift: Why don't you go sit with him. Sideswipe: Yeah. He's my twin. [ frowns a little ] ... I dunno. We've been split apart for a long time hiding, so. Sideswipe: Being close together again is a little... overwhelming. TyDrift: [aand he's covering his mouth again] Wing: *here just let him curl his fingers around that hand because it's good to have someone near, even if he's tired as all hell* boomtank: oh that's not good TyDrift: [sideswipe] alright. Just... don't chew too loud TyDrift: (or maybe do this, is stressful) Sideswipe: [ light chewing ] So... You're from Tyran, right? You look like it boomtank: That sounded more like a threat TyDrift: Yes. Were you on Earth? TyDrift: [covers his mouth] TyDrift: Primus just do it or don't boomtank: They're getting information Sideswipe: ... Still am yeah. Sideswipe: On Earth, I mean. TyDrift: Oh? Where? boomtank: .... Sideswipe: Hiding, honestly. Sideswipe: I move around. Waqs alone for a while. TyDrift: is he B l u r r: What in the pits... B l u r r: Look, maybe people shouldn't have parasites. B l u r r: Look at the drama it causes. TyDrift: I think the problem is more the TIMING, Blurr... B l u r r: They're disgusting. B l u r r: And come at the most inopportune moments. boomtank: Oooookay no A113N: DDDD::::: A113N: zombie babaies!!!! Wing: ((how did she not feel that)) boomtank: That's just nasty TyDrift: [no more words, just blank, wide eye staring] A113N: organics are sick and gross. imagine them putting some nasty undead thing in side of your frame! B l u r r: See? Disgusting. Wing: *soft little sounds of oh no* boomtank: Allen, please don't make this worse A113N: *chuckles* A113N: /that/ would be a horror movie~ A113N: sick B l u r r: / eiugh... he's going to focus solely on his maps / TyDrift: I'm in hell boomtank: Yes, it would be. Now. Do...ohPrimus Sideswipe: Really? Sideswipe: That's what your idea of hell is? boomtank: Yeah, no TyDrift: Pretty close TyDrift: ((omgv no odn'yt cut the *** stomach)) A113N: that is one ugly SOB Sideswipe: I dunno. I've seen worse hells. A113N: what the slag? Sideswipe: Dude just swing the axe. Sideswipe: Tch. First mistake, you left your weapon. TyDrift: Why did you leave the ax, why boomtank: So. Yeah. This is messed up Sideswipe: Axe is second to a sword, but you had something good there. Sideswipe: Humans... boomtank: But I really don't know what is going on TyDrift: Mmm TyDrift: See?! You left it, and now they have it Wing: ((not gonna lie, I'm gonna be pissed if she lives)) boomtank: . . . boomtank: Nope. boomtank: Nooooope A113N: ???? boomtank: That is disgusting TyDrift: ... B l u r r: See? That's what having those parasites do to you. B l u r r: Disgusting. Sideswipe: ... Hatchlings aren't even that bad. A113N: Oh, come on, Blurr. You secretly wanna have one of those things in your tanks~ *snickers* Sideswipe: They can be pretty entertaining... when they're a little older. B l u r r: ... Ew, no. boomtank: What the....? A113N: heheheheh boomtank: So, he's the only one left alive? Wing: *well, he had been drifting off until Allen said that*... Can you? TyDrift: The girl who left her weapon is somehow still alive... A113N: Can I what, Wing? boomtank: ...how? B l u r r: This girl is annoying. Wing: Create life like them. A113N: well, probably. not organic in our case... unless theres some way you can make on in a test tube... which they probably can boomtank: Um.... A113N: but i hear some cybertronians can have younglings A113N: that cop dude should have went to the other hospital Wing: *curious look. but he's still too tired for this* So had I... Remind me to ask you about it later. A113N: :O TyDrift: What... boomtank: -scooting back into the seat- A113N: ugliest thing ive ever seen boomtank: YEAH boomtank: What...what was that thing? TyDrift: But... that other girl... boomtank: Actually. Never mind. I don't want to know. TyDrift: ... Is she going to be revealed as a creature too? B l u r r: If you're going to murder someone, murder them right. B l u r r: Clearly, you've never murdered someone, Daniel. Sideswipe: Humans have no problem murdering people... [ chews another snack ] Just so you know. TyDrift: [ he wpm boomtank: So...um....what just happened? TyDrift: [he won't agree or disagree with that statement] boomtank: Are....all the bodies going to pop up like that? boomtank: Oh, she got her ax back Sideswipe: I dunno who to root for, honestly. Sideswipe: Kinda rootin' for the monsters. A113N: root for the trees! :D TyDrift: ... but boomtank: Well then. I still have no idea what was going on in that movie. TyDrift: that's it? TyDrift: I came into this movie with questions, and left with many more unanswered boomtank: Think so? B l u r r: I'm sure that means the monsters won B l u r r: Which means a point for me! Kyeheheheh. TyDrift: Well I guess that means you got what you wanted B l u r r: Of course! I love when monsters win. boomtank: M'kay boomtank: That was interesting Sideswipe: Wow, for once the infamous dog wins. TyDrift: [he has to go walk this movie off] Wing: *streetches. he really needs a berth* Sideswipe: Wait uh... Drift, right? TyDrift: [forget all the human... dismemberment] TyDrift: Mhm boomtank: I'm...gonna go now. Thanks for the movie, g'night Sideswipe: ...Is your place safe? B l u r r: / waves claw at / boomtank: ((thanks for the stream, I gotta sleep now, g'night! B l u r r: [[ ni ni ! ]] TyDrift: ((night!)) TyDrift: I haven't had any troubles yet, if that's what you're asking. Sideswipe: [ nudges wheel against the ground ] Huh... Must be peaceful where you're at. TyDrift: Mm. Hardly. A113N: night night guys. thanks for hte movie, blurr mun!)) B l u r r: night! ]] Wing: ((niiiiiight fuzz)) TyDrift: ((waves ��)) Sideswipe: Yeah, here either. [ huffs ] You got other Autobots with you? TyDrift: Yes, three... And I'm assuming you travel with your brother? Sideswipe: Until recently, I was alone. But, I met Sunny up again. Wing: *aaaand he needs to be gone* Thanks again... And take care of yourself. Sideswipe: I had a group with me, but... [ shrugs a shoulder ] You know. Humans get what they want. B l u r r: / waves at Wing / Oh, take some snacks with you. Wing: *blink* Are you sure? *he doesn't look sure* B l u r r: Of course. TyDrift: I'm sorry to hear that. We must endeavor not to judge all humans as a whole though. As frustrating as it may be at times... TyDrift: ... If you ever need a place to hide, I can give you and your brother some coordinates. Sideswipe: ... Yeah, I'm not really gonna do that. I'm gonna judge 'em all. Sideswipe: [ scoffs and moves to stand ] They're all scum unless their names are Lennox, Epps or Sam. Wing: *he looks over those snacks and... eventually caves* Thanks. *he won't take many though. maybe two or three* B l u r r: / smirks and nods / B l u r r: See you next time! B l u r r: and... take care of yourself, too. Wing: *little wave and out he goes. for slep* TyDrift: [narrows optics] And I suppose you are free to do that. But you will lose out on many allies if you keep to those ways. Sideswipe: My allies are dead, mech. You're lookin' at the last of the Autobots. Sideswipe: That and Jazz. [points at Blurr ] Who that one is keeping locked up. B l u r r: He is /not/ locked up. He's free to go back to his destroyed Earth any time. TyDrift: [exasperates sigh] b l u r r B l u r r: Leave me out of that. TyDrift: Fine [stands to leave] B l u r r: Don't be so sour. B l u r r: You're always so quick to judge. TyDrift: [pointedly ignores in favor of speaking to sideswipe] TyDrift: Hopefully next time we meet it will be in better company B l u r r: / smirks and moves to stand./ Sideswipe: ... Oh, I'm usually the worse company. I just show up to make myself feel better. B l u r r: What a pity. He doesn't like me. /mock sadness/ What's the matter, Drift? You don't remember what great pals we are? TyDrift: [still ignoring him] You can't be any worse than the mechs I already have to deal with. Sideswipe: [rumbles engine a little ] I guess so... [ tilts helm ] Sideswipe: Maybe we can meet up ome other time... [ gritting denta a little ] Sideswipe: *some B l u r r: / reaching over to flick claws by Drift's helm / TyDrift: Yes, I think that would be for the best [narrows optics and swats blurr's claws away, refusing to look at him] Do you want I should link you my contact? Sideswipe: Sure. Yeah. Sideswipe: [ narrows optics and vents steam out of his nasal ] B l u r r: / smirks and just hovers behind Drift / TyDrift: [sends sideswipe a brief soft range comm, enabling him to save the link for long range later] It was nice meeting another from my universe. I hope to see you again sometime. Hopefully soon. TyDrift: [ and hopefully without a certain hovering mech, ruude ] Sideswipe: ... Yeah. [nods helm ] I'll share it with Sunny. He might need help more than me. B l u r r: / is not rude. Iswaiting impatiently for his turn / TyDrift: My allies and I will do what we can to help, regardless. [glances to the side] Now, if you'll forgive me, I have something that need my attention. It was nice talking with you. TyDrift: Don't hesitate to comm Sideswipe: ... Thanks, Drift. [huffs at him a little ] Yeah, I can see that. Good luck with that. [ turns on his wheels and yanks his brother out with him ] TyDrift: [ turns to blurr and just... stares, disapprovingly ] TyDrift: [crosses arms] did you have something to say or were you just hovering for the sake of hovering B l u r r: / smirks in his face / I'm surprised you came over. TyDrift: [rolls his optics]  was I not supposed to come? B l u r r: Oh no no, you can come. I'm just surprised. /lifts claw and nudges him with index digit/ B l u r r: See how I didn't arrest you? Isn't that so NICE of me? TyDrift: [pushes claw away] Yes, it would have been very rude of you to ARREST one of your GUESTS. B l u r r: / snarls and gets in his fac/ Listen, mech, I can be very good to you or I can be very mean. I was a guest to your precious base before you attacked me. TyDrift: [glares, not backing down] I brought you to our base to have a threat assessmnet. You invited me to see a movie. TyDrift: Those are two vastly different scenarios B l u r r: Maybe they are, but I still could have eaten you alive here. /licks sharp denta / I bet you'd taste fantastically conflicted. TyDrift: [NOW he backs away, optics still narrowed disapprovingly as he gets some much needed space] 'Conflicted'? Over what? You, attacking me? B l u r r: K-Kyehheeheh. No, not necessarily. /laces claws together/ Listen, Drift... you and I have a good chunk of history at this point, don't you think? TyDrift: [yes, they do, he can't argue that] You're point, Blurr? B l u r r: So stop being so tense, mech. /smirks and sliiiides an arm right on that shoulder / I'm playing with you. TyDrift: [doesn't shove the arm off, but only just so Drift can spite him by; he's NOT tense] Threats count at playing to you? Forgive me for not wanting to know what ELSE constitutes 'play' to you. B l u r r: /snickers and lifts a claw to poke his crest / You need to learn about me more, mech. B l u r r: A lot of things are playing. /smirks and snaps denta at him a little / I like to play with my food. TyDrift: [he honestly can't say anything to that, just stares at him, equal parts confused and unamused] Who said I was your 'food'? B l u r r: / snickers at him and just flicks his helm / K-Kyeheheh. Don't worry about it yet. You're not ripe. TyDrift: [cringes, and untangles himself from blurr's arm] Right... I think I should be going now TyDrift: It was... an interesting movie B l u r r: /snorts/Yes, I'm sure it was. /flicks claws at him / Come back again, Drift. /smirks/ I'm starting to think we can get along. TyDrift: [sighs and waves behind his back as he leaves, if only to humor him] And what a relief that is... B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Bye byeee, Drift. Bite you next time. TyDrift: [walks faster] B l u r r: / leans over to yell out the doorway/ DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

[tumblunni]

Random headcanons about the Qu species cos we never really learn much about them in the game except "they are funnie and cute". But i mean. THEY TOTALLY ARE! So i am love them and think more the thoughts.

* Okay so first off why is it that we see so few of them and all the ones we see are apparantly raised in a family of one elderly mentor and one student with apparantly nothing like a human parental structure? One of the few additional facts we got revealed in supplementary materials is that Quina is 89 in human years but this is considered "young adult" by Qu standards. So i'm assuming they have pretty damn long lifespans! Oh man, Qus are final fantasyverse elves?!?! I mean.. Lives amoungst nature... Mysterious and magical... Dedicates their long life to the pursuit of knowledge...it all adds up o.O theyre just elves if elves were funny instead of majestic! Normal elves do the same thing but with books n magic n archery n shit, seriously they just fuckin did ctrl + f replace everything with cookery terms. I HAVE CRACKED THE CODE, YOU GUYS

* okay sorry where was i LOL! Alright so i was thinking an explanation for Qus being so rare and seemingly not having a nuclear family unit = maybe theyre literally just spawned from nature? Like theyre technically a type of monster, just one thats more intelligent and able to form their own society. They just poof up out of the mist every now and then, and wreak havoc on whatever ecosystem they landed in with their Ultimate Super Adaptation Blue Magic Powers. So Qu Marshes are sorta like orphanage/lookout spots where elder Qus will try and find wandering bebs and invite them into the wider society. Most Qus are constantly nomadic, on the search for new recipes, and only the oldest ones will return to their childhood home and dedicate themselves entirely to teaching le youth.

* Either that or i dunno maybe Qus are like dragons in some kinds of fiction? Yknow the thing where a dragon egg is indestructable and lasts forever and takes a hundred years to hatch. So its rare for a parent to manage to keep ahold of all their kids long enough for them to be born, and most qus just wake up in a random place in god knows where and never find out who theyre blood related to. But their society is built more around these found family chef teacher structures so they dont really feel like they lose anything compared to humans. Also whenever a qu wants to pursue some other hyperfocus aside from cookery, they tend to seek out a human as their mentor/parent. After all, humans are everywhere and do lots of things! Its just a lil confusing sometimes cos the blacksmith accepting this random foreign exchange student doesnt expect them to get super attatched and start calling him dad! ("What do you mean you have nowhere to live??")

* oh and yeah i dont think that ALL qus forever have exactly the same personality and goals in life cos 'this entire species does one hobby' is a very stupid idea. Its just that they come from a very harsh and wild environment where you have to eat weird poisonous plants and dangerous giant monsters or else you starve. So itd make sense theyd develop a civilization around it when its a vital part of their existance and like.. The ability to acquire food more easily would be the entire reason WHY they coul start a society, cos otherwise it takes up 90% of their day every day. And developing complex cookery very quickly would also make sense because learning to prepare otherwise inedible stuff into edible form would be the greatest invention of early history! So food is just valued very highly because of those foundations of their society being one built on starvation. Nowadays theyre more able to eat enough to survive but that culture stuck around and they still celebrate even the smallest bowl of rice! So i think its totally probable that there are many Qu who have other hobbies and leave the qu homeland to pursue them, but i also think theyd still keep those cultural values of appreciating cooking even if they had other goals in life. So they do get the reputaion of "only ever chefs" from humans.

* Also to go with my headcanon of Qus being less of an anthro animal like most of the other races and more 'anthro vague concept of scary monsters in general, if they were actually nice and baked pies'. What if kid qus go through a tadpole/caterpillar stage where they actually are just monsters? Quina shows their baby photos and its just this big terrifying fangy blob in a cute onesie. I'm thinking that bebys would spend their childhood mostly feral and dangerous and then metamorphose into their more humanoid form once they become intelligent enough. So the length of their childhood stage could be shorter if theyre raised around other qus and learn to talk earlier. But probably those who rush through development like that would be physically smaller and weaker? Like higher magic stat vs higher defense.

* Qus have a more fluid concept of gender compared to humans. Its not like all of them are genderless but they're comparatively more accepting of people like Quina than humans are. The sexual dimorphism in their species is low so they mostly indicate gender through fashion sense and..well.. Saying "i am [insert gender here]". And their life is full of so many much more dangerous and important things so why the hell would they waste time thinking so much about dumb stuff like "uwu this person is somehow wrong about their own gender and i cant let it go until i prove it". So to a qu it would make literally no sense how humans are all "ugh this trans person is really [birth sex]" like uhh hello she said is girl, where problem??? Humans all look equally identical from a qu perspective so it all seems stupid.

* Similarly i think maybe qus adopt people from other species fairly frequently? By qu law, Vivi would be considered a qu citizen because his grandpa was a qu. If you're raised in the qu ways then you're not a human, that just doesnt make sense! Maybe you're a smaller weaker qu but youre still one of us! There are distinctions in the language between being part of the species and being an immigrant to the culture, but there isnt any predjudice about it. Qus get their reputation of being "stupid" because theyre very carefree and simple i guess, but thats not necessarily a "stupid" thing. They've advanced past a lot of bigotries humanity is still stuck on, because their society around hospitality like this. The power of food!!

* Also they don't speak "broken english" because they're stupid, like dont say that when you never made any effort to learn their damn language. I kinda have the headcanon that maybe qus speak all sorts of different languages since their culture highly values the idea of travelling the world to learn more cookery? Like they only have trouble being a master of any of these languages cos they learned SO MANY and its hard to remember all the different rules. Why do humans have so many countries!!

* I like the idea of Qus having the old medieval "perpetual stew" tradition. Having a family crock pot thats always bubbling with whatever miscellaneous leftovers everyone brings back with them each day. But maybe qus have a big community version? Just a giant town cauldron. Itd probably have way higher odds of giving terrible soup if literally everyone is throwing in ingredients with no regard for each other, but the roulette aspect would be fun, lol!

* Qus have a reverse of usual human traditions for guests. When a qu is a guest in someone's home its expected that they'll cook something for the people who invited them in, and the family will be hapoy to get a chance to share new recipes with this stranger. So its common to open your kitchen to anyone and keep a good stock of ingredients just in case. Similarly, the main way Qus judge if a human is trustworthy is to challenge them to cook something or take down some tasty boss monster. According to legend, humans first came into contact with qu society when a legendary knight slayed a ruby dragon and helped feed a villaige for a week. So thats why qus decided to trust humans,but still some individuals might be wary until you prove a similar feat of cooking strength. Any fellow gourmands are instantly accepted though, and many taverns across human society boast that they are "qu approved". The coveted "five yummy yummies" rating is ever elusive!

* Qus really like Fancy Hats

* i really like Fancy Hats

* this is why i love the qus

[chippedfolks]

i don’t have the balls to send this

This is my mood sometimes, but then i sleep it off and i’m like thank god i never sent it. Because if i ever did it would have been the biggest regret in my life. I hate being a hopeless romantic, and being in love with a man that’s not in love with me and then i think like this to try and protect me heart. Even though our break-up was 80% my fault and my stupid family problems, the other 20% was the fact that you wanted to be free to travel, meet new people, and be young. So i dunno, i just feel like i’m not going to open my heart up as easily because heart break really really hurts. Anyway i just wrote what i wrote below, because i currently feel like this but my feelings are always fucking changing its annoying sometimes. Well here it goes... You know what i thought things would get a whole lot easier when i moved to London, but my situation is better. But my feelings inside haven’t changed. It’s just shitty feelings new environment. Below i wrote a bit of what i’m feeling, and jimmy there’s still a lot more. But deep down i know how it’s meant to be, and so do my friends. i don’t know if i am going to send this to you or not. I’m scared, because i might change my mind. 

Right so I know it’s out of the blue but I can’t keep hiding a bit of what’s on my mind, and since it has to do with you i gotta let you know a little of what I’m thinking. I don’t know what’s on your mind or how you feel at all i haven’t for the longest time (because of how everything is) but I don't think I can continue the empty convos..you know what i mean right like it’s cringeworthy to say the least.

It's been 3 1/2 months and I’m still trying to get over you every second of everyday. And when we don't communicate things are a little easier for me even though you are still everywhere, like seriously in everything. But i can’t keep caring for someone who doesn’t want my care, do you understand? For the past month and a half or so I have tried so hard not to reach out to you not because i don’t want to (i always want to) but i stop myself. I remember during the summer i sent you over 100 snaps over a period of time and you only opened all of them like three weeks after i sent them. Like there is 24 hrs in a day and you can’t respond to a meme or a snap that would take less than 5 secs, just made me feel like i wasn’t anything to you like you just didn’t give a fuck at all. Also i would send you memes on insta, like 5 in a row and you’d see them but not like or respond to them. I got your message loud and clear (you were saying “LEAVE ME ALONE” and tbh it feels hella shitty being ignore by a guy you love and trust and that was your best friend..so i never wanted to put myself in that situation again coz it’s embarrassing and soul crushing tbh). I never ever want to ignore someone, but i know what it feels like. Like the most mature thing you could have done (instead of ignore me, especially when i was going through so fucking much was let me know that you just did want to contact for a bit or at all like at least i would have known you know). God probably the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me, and still kinda continue to do but hey i’m fucking strong and it doesn’t bother me that much anymore. I’ve grown, got thicker skin now buddy, pal, chap, dude, friend! Anyway so It’s hard you know because i know we have to no longer be priorities in each others lives (coz we’re ex’s) and thats sad truth…for me at least. But when I get a meme or a snap from you i get my hopes up and I get all hyped and shit (like really happy) and then i start thinking and i start sending stuff back and after the hype i get so mad at myself for it coz i was doing so well giving you space and and myself space. But pedro when it takes you more than a day even longer sometimes to respond to a simple message (for past 3 months) reality sets in that i’m no longer a priority at all in your life and the little happiness i got from communicating with you disappears and it's like going through everything all over again. It’s hell, and i’ve been hell and back and i’m still trying get out.

Don't get me wrong we used to be best friends while we were together, it was an amazingly open friendship i knew i could count on you. Relationships last a long long time when two people are best friends first, and i’m glad we were. Our communication was one for the record books..but our friendship right now is a bit awkward. I can tell we both do not feel as comfortable messaging like we used to, it’s normal. We small message( haha basically like small talk ) like two people who don’t know each other at all, it is so cringeworthy because i’m pretending :/ The truth is you don't truly know how I’m doing emotionally and physically you don’t know anything and you haven’t for months and since you broke up with me you don’t want/need to know, and I don't know that about you either because we don’t talk about the important things with each other anymore and i guess we are not meant to b/c that’s what gf & bf do. I don’t go to you when something super exciting, funny or sad happens in my life but i’ll be honest i do think about you sometimes when it happens. God so much has happened, all i can say is oh well, i can’t really say much just gotta close my mouth and forcefully move on.

Sometimes when you break up with someone, you can try and be friends right after like that’s the dream, but sometimes it’s just too difficult and you can’t pretend. Pedro I can’t be your buddy or pal or friend right now, because i don’t know how to, it’s just to difficult knowing how we used to talk and how we talk now it’s disappointing really. I care a lot still, and it feels pointless and it’s draining really getting my hopes up like a loser. Fuck man i deserve more, you know i deserve to be happy and to find someone that wants to spend time with me not just for a month or a year but a long time that’s all i want just to find someone that will love me for me you know. I i’ll be able to open my heart again and love unconditionally and be hyped and live a full life haha because i am a fucking good partner and i know that about myself and i love so much sometimes i forget to love myself! Here’s a life lesson you taught me..it’s that you can’t always get what you want! I know that now, and i can’t force things as things just happen the way the universe or god or whatever makes it to be. But what i can do is make sure i’m trying to take care of myself, i have to because no one else care as much as i do for myself but me and other this summer i learnt my parents. I’m sorry if i sprung this upon you but it has been great communicating a little with you it really has, it made me happy for a bit.  

I hope you understand. Like i’ve said 1,000 times I’m here for you if your ever in need me for any help or if anything big that happens in your life and you need a good friend to openly talk too. If you are ever down and need someone who really knows you, and you want to talk freely and openly i’m just a phone call away. I will put anything i am doing down to be your best friend like i once used to be. I know you know deep down in your heart I’m always here for you, even if we drift apart and meet new people and live separate lives. But other than that pedro, i gotta cut all communication i don’t want to but i have to so i can move on with my feelings. I can’t keep living in the past or waiting for a dream (in this case a man being you) to come true, coz reality it’s not going to happen and i want to move on now and try like at least try to enjoy being single. I can’t be hungover a guy who doesn’t feel the same way. I truly believe we could have fought every battle together, but you wanted to be selfish with your time (you  wanted to be free of me for your early 20s) and i can respect that i really do. I hope you find what you are looking for, because i gotta start from 0 it’s scary but hey haha i’ll definitely have fun doing it haha.

I will say this one thing tho (may not make any sense now) but one day you’ll know everything (i’ve made sure of it with this posts, i just thing it’s the most loving thing i could ever give to you) and i hope then you’ll realise everything so clearly! That i truly without a doubt believe and still sort of a bit believe through everything that i’ve been though that you are my soulmate fool. haha i’ve watched too many romantic movies, but hey yo haha we’ll see right. But for now all i can do and say is adios and i pray you find what you are looking for in life even if it’s not me. 

I wish you good fortune and happiness, always!