#but Im just worried/curious?
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As a yet-to-start HRT gal
How do the few people I know feel about that? I am without a doubt a woman, but I am presently masc. Am I somehow faking to you all? Or am I just in my own head after years of self abuse?
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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Reminder: even if trump wins, we’ll be ok. The presidency isnt the only political position that matters, he wont be a dictator, the president doesnt have the power to remove every other part of government that keeps the president’s power in check. Also politics isnt the only thing that matters. Even if we lose some rights (which he cant singlehandedly do) we still have community, we still have activism, we’ll always be ok. We survived one trump presidency, we can survive another. We survived before gay marriage or transitioning were legal, if we have to survive that again we will. Please, no matter what happens, promise to stay alive. Youre valuable, youre important, and youre going to be ok. Its better to be overprepared than underprepared. Im not asking you to lose hope (im doing the opposite of that), im asking you to practice coping ahead, get all your coping skills ready, determine now to stay alive, because i dont want any of you to make any rash decisions later in case we get bad news and emotions are high. Make a safety plan if you need to. Make sure you’re gonna be ok
#if you cant feel hopeful or curious for the future#maybe at least you can be strategic#if we lose a bunch of marginalized (future) voters and activists we’re just handing them the majority#if you cant stay alive for yourself. stay alive for all the other marginalized people you’ll vote on behalf of next time#dont do their dirty work for them. dont kill a marginalized person even if that person is you#im sorry this post was a downer im just. really worried about the way ive heard some queer people and especially youth talking#i just wanna do whatever i can in making sure you guys are ok#if you need someone to message feel free. dm’s and asks are always open#also i disagree when people say activists are emboldened when the present is on their side#in my experience that isnt what happens? they get complacent#all the conservatives would quiet down while our own community is strengthened#like how all the conservatives got loud under biden#if anyone more eloquent than me wants to rewrite this please feel free#or just your own spin on it thats not necessarily better#i think the more people we can make sure are mentally prepared the better#just in case#lilac posts#us politics#cw suicide
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andddd ANOTHER question for *ahem* science
Iconic places, or memorable bases from the Life Series , Hermitcraft or QSMP that mean a lot to you. Feel free to tell why if u add pictures awesome always give love to the Minecraft places :]
#trafficblr#hermitblr#qsmpblr#added hermitcraft in there as a bonus (for myself- I love hc builds)#again repeats allowed and ENCOURAGED👍#doesn’t have to be a player-made thing could literally just be a [place]#what’s this for? dont worry about it . im just curious
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Now having watched Frankenstein (1931) I find this really interesting. I didn't really expect the writers themselves to have watched the film; I assumed they saw it was a horror film released in Pete's time and included it with the bonus that the audience would know the story because its Frankenstein. It really aligns with the themes of spider noir though, so I'm second guessing myself.
I read Frankenstein a while back so I'm not as familiar with it as I once was, but I'd say its generous to say the movie is based off of the original novel. It hits some of the points but it really is different. I mean, in the film its Henry Frankenstein, not even Victor.
In the film, the monster is played almost-infantile. He reaches out towards light as if he could grab it. He plays with a little girl by a lake, throwing in flowers to watch them float like boats. When he kills her, it's an accident. How could he have known that she wouldn't float along with the flowers? Its Frankenstein and his assistant who are portrayed as monstrous. They lock him in the dark for three days. The intimidate him with fire and whips and fists.
Despite this, its Frankenstein who gets the 'good end,' while the monster is left to burn alive, pinned inside a wooden mill set alight by the townspeople.
Pete could have gotten nightmares from a number of scenes. Although I wouldn't personally say this is a scary film, there are definitely unnerving parts. There was also a different standard in 1931 for what was scary in film, plus Pete was already living a hard life at such a young age when he saw it.
Based on the panels themselves it is clear that Pete was scared of the monster itself (which is fair, the make up and costuming wanted him to be frightening). "I expected him to tell me there's no such thing as monsters," because no one in real life is a resurrected, looming... once-man-now-creature. (Just you wait, Peter). It's a more juvenile read of the film but Pete is a kid. Ben though, is a veteran, a socialist, has been around the block. He has the sense to analyze the film and interpret it differently. It is the men who find themselves with a capacity for senseless cruelty that are the monsters. That is exactly what the noir comics are about.
I really like that it's clear that Uncle Ben knows what Peter is about to learn. It also shows how much Pete has changed, just within the 1-2 years since he'd seen Frankenstein.
#i watched it so u dont have to guys#peter: scared of a resurrected man who is feared by people for his perceived evil and violence#thats you bud. im sorry#and if you're curious on what i think would give him nightmares:#the monster screaming and wailing as he burned in the mill#obviously#there was a long shot of a shell-shocked father carrying his dead daughter through town. knowing it was probably the actual little girl --#-- and not a prop had me WORRYING for her lowkey. her limbs were swinging and her head was bobbing around completely unsupported omfg#also the hounds that they used? their baying with the mic quality was ough. they sounded like they were wailing too#peter benjamin parker#ben parker#spider noir#spiderman noir#spider man noir#marvel#just read this back and i feel like i didnt say much but ill post anyway#someone must share with the people
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#jayvik#im just bored and utterly curious#arcane polls#fine to vote if you do not ship jayvik too#i didnt include viktor/silco bc i dont think that's so far away actually#i am worried about viktorsinged tho
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#Don't worry#Floof tanith isnt going anywhere#Shes too fun to draw#Im just curious for the current project#skulduggery pleasant#tanith low#poll#nic stylus
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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you
(they are gorgeous I love them sm)
hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)
apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!
ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.
this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?
I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.
and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,
i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.
most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!
hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.
#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles#i guess i’ll tag this as#smalletho#and#trafficshipping#for filtering#when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um#being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum#i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters#like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else#and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head#it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known#because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL#dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL#sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts#unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words#and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane#and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside#anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.
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okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.
#🐉#james reads homestuck#btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that#and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand#but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why#its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people#and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word)#and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation#because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills#if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa#but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand#even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim#and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it.#MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks#or assume the worst about me as a person#because. internet.
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#being suicidal without wanting to die is the worst thing in the world. my curious nature keeps me alive cause I need to know what#happens next despite the loop but I really am so tired and ive noticed how it gets more difficult for me to enjoy and do things#im not confined to my bed but i sleep alot more and i never leave my room and im just here now im just here.#i wont let that kill me so theres nothing to worry about but its is stressful to have the thoughts every now and again#annoying at best stressful at worst#im only thinking like this cause its reallyyy lateill be better in the am going to bed now niiiite <3#kae.txt
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I’ve been thinking about character arcs and ghosts, and how much that’s varied across the characters. I think I should say upfront that I don’t have the best memory and there’s a good chance I’ve mucked up something here, but this is from what I can recall.
Some of the ghosts have had very clear across the entire show, like the Captian learning to accept himself/his sexuality and be a more open, kinder person, Fanny learning to let go of her rigid ways and beliefs, Mary becoming more confident, and Julian becoming kinder (even if he’s still reluctant to admit it).
Then there’s characters who’ve had vague arcs like Pat who learnt to stand up for himself a bit more (and be a bit of a bitch sometimes, affectionate). There is a change with him, but it’s not as obvious as with the previously mentioned arcs. There’s Robin who has had small arcs in various episodes (ie leaning to like Christmas, twice, I think), but not necessarily an overarching one, or at least not a very obvious one. His language improves over the series, but I when I talk about character arcs, I think of emotional arcs/personality shifts, so I don’t really count that. I would argue any change with as more to do with us getting more insight into his history and his mind which deepened our understanding of him than an arc, but idk.
There’s characters like Thomas and Humphrey who had no arc at all (understandable in Humphrey's case as he’s rarely present, baffling in Thomas’ as he desperately needed one), and then there’s Kitty.
I feel like there has been a change with her across the seasons, but I can’t for the life of me pinpoint what exactly and where she falls on the character arc spectrum. Honestly, this whole post is me asking what people think about this, if she did have a clear arc, a vague arc, or no arc because I can’t really and it’s bugging me.
#this is just my opinion about the character arcs obviously#bbc ghosts#and i am curious what people think about this with regards to kitty#and robin kinda because i so worry im missed something there#*do worry#also i didnt include the coopers because.
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Just looked at the digital remains again and oh my god why are we not talking more about the original lyrics to backslide
If I were to backslide, tell everyone we know
Thanks for the last time they came out
...
Why did I not thank you more, saving me those other times
(Don't you dare jump in)
...
I'd rather you hurt me, than do nothing at all
I'd rather you let me down, than just gas me up
I'd rather you cuse me, than do nothing at all
...
You won't make a sound, pick someone else I won't be around
Trapped inside your smile, don't put me on trial
Don't you see you take, everything from me
#christ this is so sad#oh my god i am havimg Feelings#something about the#why did i not thank you more#saving me those other times#(dont you dare jump in)#this is breaking me#im kind of glad those lines didnt make it on to the album i dont think i would have survived it#im curious as to why though#i really really hope its because he was doing better when actually making the song than when he originally wrote it#but i dont know#im worried about him#not to be pathetically parasocially attached to a man i dont even know#but these lines just. scare me.#i hope hes doing okay#i hope hes surrounded by the people he loves#and i hope he genuinely knows how much of an impact hes had on so many peoples lives#and i hope that doesnt scare him too much#it feels like these lines are about us#i dont know i cant articulate why this is hitting me so deeply but it is#and i hope josh is doing ok too#its easy to focus more on tylers thoughts and emotions because hes the one who verbalizes them#but i worry about josh too and i hope he also knows how much of an impact hes had#i just want to hug them both so bad#and it does reassure me that in most of the songs theres still an undercurrent of hope and a desire to keep fighting#twenty one pilots#tyler joseph#josh dun#clancy#clancy digital remains
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Does it ever bother you to see someone who seems interesting, or makes something cool, vanish off the internet? I will like, search for hours, trying to dig up any info on a random artist i learned about TODAY, because their art is mildly cool to me. And I'm filled with a feeling of just, fear. I want them to be okay, and I'm filled with questions and fear and a pit is in my stomach. I NEED to learn what happened to them. why they stopped posting, where they are now. And if i don't learn? it will bother me for days. I guess i just don't like the idea of people just dissapearing. And every time i do this, go on a search for a lost artist, I'm filled with just. A sense of emptiness and fear. Im scared for them, even though i don't know them, and makes my mood change drastically, so easily.
#fears#fear#worry#uncertainty#emptiness#i am scared#im scared#curiosity#just curious#scared#answers#questions#worrying#searching#search#missing#secrets#dissapear#art#artists on tumblr#artist support#art on tumblr#fearfulness#i am afraid#i cant stop thinking about it
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Birthmas manga and merch haul
#prince's talk tag#this was the stuff I bought when I went to the city two days ago for my bday#it was a great day i bought so much b.l. and s.tar r.ail stuff#i did make a mistake on my part bc usually i buy one shots#bc i know its only one book instead of having to worry about an unknown number of volumes#i dont always follow this but i try to stick to one shots when buying b.l.#but with one of them i think i was really into the blurb that i failed to see the 1 on the cover indicating therell be more#eeh its fine if i like ill just collect it#but the other ones i read the blurbs and went 'oooo interesting! add to cart' and then physically put it in my shopping basket#the light novel tho that was intentional i love that series and i wanna see how sayaka's middle relationship played out#bc it did not end pretty from what we learned from the main series#i do have to finish it im up to vol 6#the p.r.s.k. book i was not expecting to see at kino like i didnt know it existed. but its p.r.s.k. so ofc i bought it#and now the merch. kino had a table and wall dedicated to ge.npa.ct and s.tar r.ail (more the former than the latter)#but i went ham on the s.tar r.ail stuff when i saw faves 2 and 3 (they only had up to xi.anzh.ou characters‚ no pe.nac.ony)#but that was ok i bought what i saw#and they even had bookmark sized boards of the aeons so i got my faves#the cards in the last pic came in a box and at first i thought they were blind boxes so i bought two but both had the same cards in them#so imma give one to my cousin and kept one for myself#this was the only way pen.aco.ny characters were available and look its my number one fave!! hes going in my photocard book#so while i don't play ge.nsh.in anymore i do like the characters and the lore#and i like Alh.ait.ham so when i saw something with him on it and it was the last one they had i bought it#its a keychain and a standee so i have him sitting on my desk rn#and then i saw only one instance of mi.lgr.am merch in the form of those keychains so i bought two with expressions i like#they didnt gave 02‚ 03 or 04 tho i was curious what they looked like
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im actually kinda curious
If you could infiltrate my brain and have me write ANY fic (within the Acotar fandom), what would it be?
any characters/ship/plot/trope - the sky's the limit
#stt ramblings#im just curious what people are craving to see#do not worry i am still gonna do my weird shit
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Oh no- I have been sucked into the hole of looking at buying bulk keychains and buttons and sticker sheets-
Would include a sticker sheet, 2 pinback buttons, and a dangling little Poptart keychain!!
At least that would be the main attraction, I am still so going to throw in some other little goodies, etsy style! Maybe some handwritten stuff from me! Maybe some candy!
Might I add,
Buttons would be 1.5 inches, and each one would be different
Keychain would be 3 inches and double sided with different artwork on the front and back
Sticker sheet would be 5x7 inches with just an assortment of all the leos of all sizes! I like tiny stickers :)
Price would be somewhere in the $25-35 range, shipping not included, might only be for the USA.
This may not happen but I can dream- ponder- at least get an interest check for curiosity
#ive just realized how cheap things can be in bulk oh my gosh.#I really want to emphasize I would not do this for a profit#I want to make this as affordable as I can if this happens haha#because I think it would be adorable if everyone just got like.#little guys.#just everywhere#this would probably be a very limited thing might I add...#in my head I might just only make 30 packages#and once those 30 are gone they would be gone forever unless theres demand for a round 2 or something#since it also takes about a month for custom keychains especially to ship in#it might take till the start of december till I can start shipping things out#im putting#way to much thought into this.#my only worry would be how the hell do I ship things to people PFFT#I might.. host this.. off etsy so it can do the shipping work for me#at least fee wise#augh#whatever#throws this out here im. curious.#and I want an excuse to own a dangling poptart keychain for myself#oh also#should this be a preorder thing...?#defo going to sell leftovers separately#the place im going to for sticker sheets and keychains you can have like a set number#but the buttons its intervals going 10 25 50 ect so theres going to be a shit load of spare buttons#god im getting so ahead of myself.........#what am I doing#hwhuh#dear brain do you understand how much work this is going to be#how much your anxiety will flair dear brain
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