#i did make a mistake on my part bc usually i buy one shots

[killjoy-prince]

Birthmas manga and merch haul

[fruitybashir]

hey hello 👋🏻 i'm sorry im very shy but i'm a huge fan of the holidate and dopamin (closer) was so fantastic and super hot and i was blushing the entire way through, i've reread it maybe five times by now, i'm sorry if that's weird 🫣

if you don't mind me asking, i'm curious about something? in the holidate and in dopamin, there's obvious hints at some of their kinks or preferences in bed (hair pulling, praise....) and i'm just wondering......can you say more about what kinks they're both into? what you envisioned for them? is there more we don't know about yet? i'm a bit embarassed to ask but i'm so curious

either way, i'm a big fan and i can't wait to see what you post next and have a nice day/night bye bye 💌💕

omg hiiiii <3333 dont be embarassed omg i loveeee when people tell me they reread my stuff, thats how i know it actually was good!!! 🫶🏻💖💖💖

and sure i can talk about it! its nothing super exciting tbh but i do have a certain set of kinks/preferences/likes whatever you wanna call it for each of them, im gonna put it under the cut as per usual in case it gets long.

edit yeah this is getting super long. sorry. dont ask me to yap, i will not stop.

starting with kris:

the very obvious: hair pulling. i think that was made pretty clear lmao. in a non-sexual context he looooves having his hair played with, someone just running their fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the scalp, playing with a strand or two, anything at all gives him very pleasant tingles and practically makes him putty in your hands. find that spot behind his ear like bojan did and his brain shuts off, you have now successfully tamed your kris, congrats.

in a sexual context that translates to him loving having his hair pulled, its a combination of him liking having his hair played with + liking a certain level of pain. and the combo of that really gets him off. obviously.

pain for kris is like. hes into some level of pain, like the hair pulling and he also likes biting sometimes. in dopamin thats bojan biting his butt, but i imagine sometimes when bojan takes his time exploring kris' body, he takes a bite here or there, kris' neck, the sides of his stomach, the inside of his thighs .. stuff like that and kris is also really into it then.

hes not into any bigger levels of pain other than that like he wouldnt like stuff like spanking etc although thats a combination of not liking that type of pain and not liking being in a submissive position

next point: he doesnt like being submissive. its both just a preference thing plus not liking loss of control. he loves being the one to order the other part around and be the one to kiiind of have the upper hand. im saying that a bit vaguely bc he also isnt really a dom, he wouldnt like a very strong dominant role, he just likes calling the shots and being in control of the situation. idk how to put it. ill come back to this later

hes freshly discovering that hes into feminization, as you can probably tell from that last upload lmao, and he likes it both in a non-sexual and in a sexual context. he likes feminine words of affection, being called pretty, likes thinking about how in certain perspectives and moments people might mistake him for a girl, and he could have shopped online for lingerie thats specifically made for men, and buy panties that actually had some space in the front, but he deliberately chose not to do that, he wanted it to be girls underwear. that was important.

holidate kris is definitely not fully cis, but also not really trans either i think, idk what to call it but yeah. he might be a little trans, hes having some thoughts and feelings and maybe ill let him explore that properly one day but basically he doesnt really know what to make of it yet or how to categorise it, but he knows he likes himself exactly the way he is and doesnt want to change anything. he also likes getting called girl-ish things and thinking about how people might mistake him for a girl sometimes. idk

other preferences uhhh he really likes sucking dick lmao, like he genuinely enjoys going down on bojan and it gets him all worked up as well. he just figured out he loves getting eaten out. he doesnt like bottoming and he also doesnt like getting fingered all that much. and the thing with that is that he likes having things in his ass, but he doesnt like the uhhh motion of it? having a dick in his ass is fine, having that dick thrust into him is a big no no. the lucky thing with bojan is that he has really short fingers so when hes fingering kris, hes focussing on kris's prostate and doesnt move around all that much so that is still something kris enjoys. on occasion. he also generally doesnt like coming more than once, bc he tends to be very sensitive after his first orgasm and the second one is often very overhelming and too much

moving on to bojan:

also fairly obvious: likes being manhandled, likes being told what to do, big on getting praised. he also loves servicing and making kris feel good, it genuinely gets him off when he can just worship kris a little.

bojan loves both receiving and giving oral but he really loves bottoming and coming on kris' fingers. he loves getting a little overstimulated like getting teased for a long time before getting any proper attention so by the time kris finally goes down on him or fucks him, bojan is already shaking with it and desperate. or in the way like in dopamin, literally not being able to fully calm down in between orgasms and still being super sensitive from the first one.

i think the praise thing is pretty self explanatory, he really loves getting praised for doing a good job when he follows kris' instructions, loves being called a good boy, loves when kris keeps telling him how good hes being in general, its a major thing for him

he loves getting fucked classic missionary or riding kris, they tried doggy once but he didnt like not being able to see kris and touch him. he loves watching kris' face when he comes and also before that, he just loves fucking face to face.

also he would love for kris to make real on his promise of fucking his tits, neither of them knows how that would work but bojan is heavily into the idea of it

as for both of them:

ive said it in dms earlier but basically like. theyre both still kind of vanilla with their kinks? like there is a dom/sub dynamic there but its a very mild one kinda.

like how in dopamin kris tells bojan hes gonna make him come on his fingers and then give him no break after, but later he still does give him a break and checks with bojan if hes still okay with it, if its too much etc. or how he keeps telling bojan to use his words, but always forgives him when bojan cant use his words or is too embarrassed to say what kris wants him to say. like theres never any real consequences.

and thats the thing with them: they are so in tune with each other and have a level of trust for each other that they never had with previous partners. bojan likes being bossed around but he wouldnt like if anyone was actually mean to him, hes not into humiliation or being actually punished for something.

kris knows when he says it that its all empty threats and he would never give bojan any real consequences, and bojan knows this as well, but he would also never intentionally misbehave bc he likes following commands.

they work so well together like that bc theyre both fully aware of what they and the other wants out of it, they know the others wishes and boundaries and limits etc, like there is just a level of trust and understanding between them like no other.

also theyre super in love. did i mention that. does that come across. thats not a kink thing but theyre just super mega in love and thats so important to me.

uhhhh i think thats basically all there is to them kink wise ✌🏼 sorry this got so long, oopsie

[carpsurprise]

sam stans i come.. bearing a gift.. sooo..

plot: the farmer teaches sam how to plant flowers, despite his clumsy nature

word count: 1.9k

notes: once again, gn!farmer. this is.. way more than i usually write but i felt particularly inspired... and we all know i love sam, put under a read more bc it is a little long. i’m also posting this on ao3! don’t be surprised if another sam writing comes up soon... 

A quiet sigh left the farmer’s mouth, their eyes focusing on Sam’s clumsy, gloved hands handling the delicate flowers. He tipped the young flowers from their nursery containers with care, mindful of the placement of his fingers against the dirt and the positions of the leaves. The empty nursery container was thrown haphazardly on the ground, making the farmer’s eyebrow quirk for just a moment before returning their attention back to Sam. With the young flower held in both of his hands, he shot the farmer a nervous glance.

“Heh,” he chuckled, heat starting to creep up the back of his neck, “thought you bought seeds from Pierre? I didn’t think you’d plant already blooming flowers.”

The farmer shrugged. “They’re still nice. Besides, those are more for decoration than anything— and you asked me to teach you to plant flowers, didn’t you? Teaching you to plant a seed would take a moment.”

“I guess so,” he muttered, still nervously holding the formed potting soil. “Now what do I do, stick it in the ground?”

“You could, or,” the farmer held Sam’s hands gently, allowing him to hear his own heartbeat in his head. The farmer helped support the stem of the plant, gently kneading their thumb and the inside of their pointer finger along the potting soil. The roots of the plant had finally appeared in a jumbled mess. “See, you want to spread out the roots a little so it can get water easier.”

Sam nodded with a dry swallow, watching the farmer’s eyes focus intently on the roots of the flower. They continued, “You want to be super careful, though, they’re very delicate. Just a gentle little touch will be good to separate them out.” 

A few clumps of dirt had fallen from the plant, landing on Sam’s lap and rolling off his thighs back to the earth. The farmer didn’t seem to mind the dirt that covered their legs. He directed his focus back to the flowers in front of him, and off of the farmer’s legs. Sam mirrored the farmer’s actions with his own gloved thumb, trying to smooth out the roots as gently as his clumsy hands would allow. It was funny, he thought, that he could master guitar strings flawlessly, but at a moment of tender precision he seemed to become nervous.

“Mm, that’s good!” The farmer exclaimed, slowly retracting their hands from Sam’s. “Now gently place the flower into the hole we made,” they directed, holding the sides of the parted dirt as Sam lowered the new flower into its forever home. He let go of it with slow hands, helping the farmer pat the parted dirt into the open sides with one hand. Sam let out a breath, retracting himself from the planter box.

The farmer let out a breathy chuckle, moving their trowel to their side. “This is usually relaxing for people.”

“I know.”

“You said you wanted to learn how to plant stuff because of your mom, right?”

Sam groaned, feeling himself get caught up in his own lie. “Yeah. I think it’d make her happy to know I learned, for some reason. I’m afraid she doesn’t think what I do for myself is very… useful.”

“But you’re a wonderful guitar player,” the farmer cried, turning their body to him, “and a wonderful song writer. You’ve got more talent than most in the valley, especially when it comes to music,” they smiled, making Sam’s heart skip a beat.

This is why he came to the farmer in a full sweat, red face, and nervous hands asking them to teach him how to garden. 

He grinned, instinctively moving his hand to scratch at the base of his neck. “Thanks, it means a lot��,” he interrupted himself with a startled gasp, feeling the remains of dirt on his gardening glove slip down his spine. He quickly pulled his hand from his neck, looking accusingly at the dirty, green and yellow gardening glove he had forgotten he was still wearing.

The farmer laughed at his mistake innocently, their shoulders shaking with them. It was charming for Sam, yet felt himself still chilled by the quick surprise of things running down his back. “I’ve forgotten I was wearing my gloves many, many times,” they laughed, “It sorta just feels like normal after a while.

Lifting their hands, also still gloved, they flipped them from the palm to the back of the hand. Sam admired the size of their hands, and the obvious wear and tear of the daily work they do written all over the gloves. 

“Need to get a new pair,” they muttered.

Sam had lit up, splaying his dirty gloves across his jeans without thought. “Oh! Let me buy you a new pair then, you know,” he began to fluster again. He stuttered out his response, weary of making his affections known too soon, “to thank you for teaching me how to do this.”

“Sam, you don’t have to do that. I had a lot of fun! Besides, I needed to do this anyway.”

Sam shook his head, grabbing one of their gloved hands. “No, no, please let me, and then I can get a pair that matches!”

The farmer was silent.

“... If that’s alright with you?”

The farmer snapped out of their little daze from his words, nodding and then reassuring him. Accepting his offer of new gloves, they promised to stick with the pair they have now until Sam came to the farmhouse with his gift. “Oh, Sam, before you leave can you bring home a potted plant for your mother? I’d like to thank her for the fertilizers she’s been sending me.”

He nodded. “Yeah, totally. She’d love that.”

Jumping up from their position, the farmer ran over to the side of their house, sifting through gardening tools and empty containers. They pulled out a weathered, but nice small pot. Sam watched as they dragged their hose out, rinsing the dust and dirt off of it before bringing it back over. “Here! I have no clue where this came from, but it’s nice and pretty.”

Sam agreed, immediately taking the trowel and shoveling dirt into it. “Ah, remember, Sam! Not too much dirt yet, we don’t want the roots exposed,” they instructed, causing him to quickly shovel out a little bit of dirt. He pushed the dirt to the sides of the pot, looking at the farmer expectedly. The grin on their face had made him nervous.

“You do it, Sam. I need to make sure you know how to do this, and I think Jodi will like it a lot more if you potted it. It can be a gift from the both of us.”

His fear of failure had returned to the center of his chest. Without another word he began to focus on the steadiness of his hands, removing the next flower from the container and carefully holding it with one hand. The plant  had seemed bigger when next to the others, but in his large hand it was evident it was still growing. His thumb and forefinger gently massaged the end of the dirt, staying mindful of the few roots poking out.

Feeling the farmer’s eyes upon his hands had made his heart pick up once again. He had always loved their eyes, especially when the sun hit them just right to show the beautiful color of— a slight crunch was heard. His right hand had immediately left the plant’s roots. 

The farmer laughed gently, placing a hand onto Sam’s arm. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just try to be more gentle. It doesn’t look like you’ve pulled any roots out… completely. Just focus on the roots and your hands, don’t think about anything else.”

Easy for the farmer, he thought. Trying to keep his mind from racing back to them (who had seemed to scoot a little closer to him when he was focused on the roots, now that he was thinking about it), he continued to softly spread the delicate roots of the azaleas, looking to the farmer to see if that was sufficient. The farmer nodded silently, a kind smile on their face to encourage Sam. He placed the small flowers into the pot, still holding the stems gently with his left hand and using his right to pack in enough dirt to keep it steady.

He sat back on his heels, admiring the bright pink of the flowers and the white flower pot with baby pink swirls just around the rim. He had, once again, unknowingly placed his dirty gloves onto his jeans. He was expecting Jodi to be upset with him as soon as he enters the front door, but hopefully, with this flower pot in hand, she’ll excuse his messy day out.

“See? You did amazing!” The farmer praised, fluffing out the flowers by the stems. 

Their praise had made Sam’s fleeting worries of his mother dissipate, causing him to turn to them with a teasing look. “Yeah, except for the part where I nearly destroyed the roots of the poor thing.”

Shrugging, the farmer got back to their feet and lifted the pot with a grunt. “It’s fine, you did great anyway. Like everything else, it takes practice.” 

They grabbed another bag, along with their watering can and returned to Sam’s side. They watered the flowers immediately, then cut open the bag of mulch and placed a thin layer over the wet dirt. Sam watched without question, watching their hands work around the plant and dirt effortlessly. The farmer’s moves seemed calculated, the only way Sam could relate or keep up was by comparing it to the movement of hands on guitar strings, knowing when to use gentle touch or a moment of pressure.

They pulled back, swiping the palms of their hands together to brush off any loose dirt from their gloves. Sam should’ve been doing that the whole time. “Finishing touches are done! She’s already to head to your house, Sam,” they stood up once more, hoisting the pot up into their arms and ready to hand off to Sam. 

“Make sure it’s watered when the soil feels dry; and it can’t be in the sun all of the time, it likes some shade sometimes. The pot is sorta big so it’ll grow a little, but once it kinda grows out some of the leaves and flowers may start dying. Just pluck or cut those off and it’ll grow back.”

Sam nodded slowly, trying to repeat the farmer’s instructions back to himself in an attempt to not forget them. He knew the attempt was futile, but found that with every gray cloud there is a silver lining: he can always come back to see the farmer, just to ask for it again. He gave a nervous giggle, awkwardly trying to hold the gift for his mother.

“Please tell Jodi I said thank you, it means a lot to have help from the community.”

“Well, uh, if you ever need any help don’t hesitate to ask. I’m always here for you,” Sam said sheepishly, almost immediately regretting not omitting his last sentence.

The farmer grinned, waving goodbye to him. “I know you are, and thank you, too.”

He smiled back at them, saying his goodbye and heading back down the dirt path to town, praying that no one would see him struggling with the giant pot of azaleas, potted by him, for his mother. 

[silverlightqueen]

how⁉️ how do you never make a bad chapter 🤺 grrr bark bark 😃 normally i say more stuff here but i kinda want to say the notes so here we go (ignore the possible spelling mistakes i’m illiterate) :

1. with the information i know it feels like calm before the storm 👀

2. when i saw the title name i thought they we gonna steal changbins money but i’m a nice way yk

3. i love how felix greeted everyone like that that was so sweet kinda odd but sweet 💖💘💞💓💗💘💝

4. me when hyunjin said he isn’t that dumb: 😐🤔👀 it’s okay baby 🥰 u can believe in ur lil fairy tales 🤲

5. notice how jeongin immediately replied when there needed roasting to be done 🤔

6. seungmin my relatable king!! does he still wear the thingy for the head injury btw ( i forgot what it was called)

7. hyunjins groupies 🤝 theatre kids

things changbin does NOT fuck with

8. han trying to order mcdonald’s to school but failing is weirdly endearing 👉👈

9. not felixs noisy ass acting like he didn’t know about y/n and hyunjins ft sessions 😭

10. miss hyunjin again this 😐 emoji is there something u wanna share with class

11. NOT HYUNJIN, SEUNGMIN AND JEONGIN (again that mf) BULLYING BINNIE FOR HIS PHONE LIKE HE COULDNT BUY THEM IF HE WANTED TOO

12. i know i just defended changbin but i’m with felix he’s on the rob list 🤧

13. the way ur FEEDING the minho x y/n shippers i love it but i’m also worried and scared tbh

14. y/n stays posting him too tho 👀 15. RYUNJIN BBY 👁👁

16. honestly fuck everyone’s ship y/n x ryunjin is superior ☺️ 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 (or y/n x felixs dad)

17. jk but YOU DID u continued the jackson being in every single fic legency 💅🏾 i applaud u queen

18. THE FACT THAT WHY MIGHT GET MORE THE BOYS WITH RYUNJIN INTERACTION 🕺🕺 she seems like the type person to threaten (bark at) them even if she fainted from chan’s abs

19. y/n is just flexing at this point get it bella swan ass clown 🤪

20. just adding this here so i’ll have 20 but i can’t choose a ship the ships/friendships are all so cute honestly HOWEVER seungmin i see u with ur tsundere ass 👀

that was such good chapter again how do you never make a boring one tell me ur secrets bestie 🤺‼️ i cant wait for the next chapter *gun shots*

here’s the daily emoji meme, the “i have so many questions and emotions about this chapter so nohemi is freaking out part two”:

also a randompic of han being possessed by hj and bc because why not 🥴 luv u bestie <33

1. it is the calm before the storm 👀

4. we all know he’s a lil himbo and it’s fine, we accept it!!

6. his injury was literally just a concussion so he has not worn any kind of headgear for his ‘injury’ at any point 🥴

12. catch me robbing changbin’s house in this

16. ryujin x y/n and felix’sdad x y/n are the superior ships ‼️

17. ofc ofc it had to be jackson 😌

THANK YOU BESTIE I LOVE YOU BESTIE 🥺

THE MEMES ARE ICONIC AS USUAL 🤩

[andromedarune]

Bede x Hop Request: “Just Desserts” (p1)

REQUEST ~ “I have one, it’s a hop x bede where bede feels bad for being mean to hop, but is too scared of apologizing to him in fear of rejection. Due to his past at the orphanage and his overall fear of being left alone again. So he decides to send homemade desserts to hop with secret messages ,anonymously . Hop Figures it out when the desserts stop coming after bede gets sick badly ( maybe a bad fever from exhaustion, anything that stops him from baking will do). You can include opal or the other gym leaders teasing hop on who could be sending the treats. I hope this is okay.”

A/N: Lolol this is a 2 parter bc my dumbass couldn’t stop writing even though I was in agony writing this (only bc I'm just not sure if it’s any good lolol). So, uh, please give me validation, haha - Hope y’all enjoy and the second part should be coming up sometime soon (when my brain decides to return into a solid shape).

The third time Hatterene hissed at him from across the room, Bede figured that he needed a better distraction. Obviously pacing wasn’t doing much to ease the frustration in his gut. The boy sighed, pausing to fix his neatly ironed white button-up shirt before turning on his heels and walking out the room. There were better things he could be doing with his time, anyways.

Things certainly have changed for the boy ever since he joined the gym challenge that fateful day. He didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. But he allowed himself a moment of gratitude, despite his usual vocalizations of annoyance in his current position in life, at how it was only a year ago that he was sitting in a poverty-stricken orphanage with a bunch of abhorrent adults pitying him every day. But he’d never let anybody know that, of course. The last thing he needed was people pitying him again; that was even more annoying than people trying to be his friend all the time. People could be so bothersome, it was sickening.

Bede made his way down the hall, unconsciously tip-toeing past Ms. Opal’s bedroom, where she no doubt was resting. Her age seems to finally be catching up with her, these days, since she seemed to be taking more naps than normal. The boy made sure not to comment about it. He didn’t need a lecture from that crazy old bag. Once clear, he made a sharp turn, stepping down the spiral staircase to find himself in the empty dining room. Once upon a time, large parties were held here, no doubt filled with beautifully rich people mingling to some classical music. Thankfully, no such nonsense happened here anymore, which meant Bede had relative free-reign of the house so long as he didn’t cause trouble. He meandered around the long mahogany table, keeping his steps as quiet as possible against the old wooden floorboards, and he made his way into the kitchen.

For years, the only thing Bede could reliably use for stress-relief had been battling. All his frustrations could come loose, he could speak his mind, and relish in the cool, refreshing glow of a victory after everything was said and done. Of course he would end up being pretty damn good at it, after so much dedication and practice. But then he joined the gym challenge, and that all went to pot. Suddenly, he started losing battles. Him? Losing a pokemon battle?! He had never even considered that to be a possibility before, but it was happening. Each and every battle suddenly became so personal, finding every possible weakness in his opponent to expose it and attain yet another beautiful victory. And for most opponents, it worked, and he hardly wasted another thought on the matter. But not all of them left his mind.

Bede frowned, crossing his arms with a huff as he leaned against the counter. These pesky feelings were really getting annoying. Maybe all these sweet-natured and emotional fairy-types were starting to affect him in more ways than one. He ran a hand through his curly locks as if the motion would magically clear his mind. It didn’t.

Well, there still is one thing that might ease his tensions. The youth dug through the kitchen, picking out some of the things he would need, and began his work.

Baking was a guilty pleasure of his, something only his pokemon and Ms. Opal knew about (and she only knew because she caught him in the middle of the night). The only reason he ever considered giving it a shot was because he had a serious sweet tooth, but growing up poor meant that it was hard to buy all those fancy cakes and cookies he longed for in the big bakeries of Wyndon. So he started making them himself. At first, everything was incredibly inedible, but he was stubborn about it. He collected books and articles about baking - all in secret - and eventually became good enough to where he figured that his confectionaries rivaled that of big businesses in the region. He’d probably make a killing off selling them, but he’d never even consider that possibility. The boy would probably die of embarrassment if anybody else found out about his skill in baking. It was bad enough being the fairy king of Ballonlea (as people seemed to be calling him, nowadays); he didn’t need people thinking he was some sweet-hearted weakling, either.

By the time he was whisking away the batter, his Sylveon pranced in, eager to try to steal a taste. The pink pokemon purred at his thigh, wrapping its ribbon-like appendages around his waist while he tried to ignore them.

“Don’t,” Bede snapped at the pokemon. “I’m not giving you any more batter.”

Sylveon barked, attempting to stand on its hind legs to blast a classic Baby Doll Eyes on it’s trainer. It’s not very effective.

“Sylveon.”

The pokemon pouted, slinking off to a corner to watch with a pitiful expression. Bede clicked his tongue, returning to his work in order to avoid falling for Sylveon’s little trap. The last thing he needed was Sylveon getting sick again. The boy worked in near complete silence, the only sounds coming from the occasional bang of a pan or a utensil against the countertop. He didn’t need to bother putting on an apron beforehand; he’s practically perfected his routine to where he hardly ever makes a mess, and if he does, he cleans it up right away. It was lazy to continue working in a dirty station. He eventually pours the dark chocolate batter into a circular pan, carefully tucking it into the preheated oven to cook.

Ah, yes, the time he hated the most - waiting. Thankfully, it wasn’t some giant, triple-decker cake that would need an eternity to cook; just forty minutes would suffice. He tidied up the kitchen a bit, washing some of the utensils and bowls he had borrowed before his mind started to wander yet again. He reached for the whisk when that terrible sensation in his gut suddenly slapped into him again, nearly forcing him down to his knees. The whisk tumbled down into the soapy water, sinking the bottom with a soft clank. Bede bit his lip, trying to keep his mind focused on the present. He didn’t have time to be wallowing in the mistakes of the past - he was better than that.

But still it remained. A bothersome guilt pulled him from the depths of his stomach, reminding him all the bitter words and heartless accusations he had thrown at so many people over the years. He thought that all of his training and efforts under Ms. Opal would be enough to push all those thoughts away, but they only increased with every day that went by. Though the world seemed to be forgiving him, he couldn’t help but hear the whispers of disdain amid the crowd with every match he participated in. It wasn’t like him to care about anybody else’s opinion. But here he was, running through every possible way he could make amends to the world. How pitiful. Bede shook his head. There’s no way to make everybody happy with me, he reminded himself, so just focus on being better. He was right; he couldn’t make amends with everyone, he couldn’t make everyone he hurt suddenly happy. But as Bede reached down for the whisk one more time, he couldn’t resist the want in his chest to try and reach out for the person he had hurt the most.

Yeah, that really wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

Bede near slapped himself in the face. What was he even thinking? Reaching out to someone like that?! Pathetic. He should be ashamed that his brain even came up with such a worthless idea. With another huff, the boy finished the dishes, moving some more things out from the cabinets to begin making the icing. It would be a travesty to put simple whipped cream icing on a chocolate cake, so Bede started working himself through a familiar buttercream recipe. Which was fine; everybody likes buttercream. Well, everyone with a soul likes buttercream. At least in Bede’s opinion.

The oven dinged not too long after. The boy paused his work to pull out the aromous dessert, setting it delicately on the middle shelf of the brand-new blast chiller that he received as a gift from Ms. Opal. He returned to the icing, popping in some pastel pink dye for reasons. The task would likely be complete by the time the cake was an acceptable temperature. He had done this a thousand times. Everything was second-nature, at this point.

Soon enough, it was his favorite part of the process. He scooped all of the icing and stuffed it into a frosting bag, pulled out the cake, and began his work. Out of the entire process, the icing was his favorite. Delicate, precise, no room for error. His mind would go completely blank as his hands did all the work, sculpting elegant rose designs along the sides of the cake. Never anything too elaborate (not that he couldn’t make it fancy, of course), never anything too plain. A perfect work of art - a declaration of love, if you will. But perhaps that was an interpretation that only Bede could recognize, much less appreciate. Finally, it was complete, sitting before him in all its beautiful, delicious glory. Sylveon trotted back up to its trainer, trying to stand up a little taller to get a better look at the result. Bede stared down at the cake, unsure how to feel. It was just what he envisioned. No doubt it would taste as good as it looked, probably even better. He poured his emotions into making this work of art, as he always had. But why did he always hesitate? Hadn’t he made this for himself to eat?

Bede shook his head, trying to hold back the trembling sigh from his lips. He wandered back to the kitchen to wash his hands, Sylveon watching with a perplexed expression. When the pokemon called for his attention, he finally slumped forward, leaning against the counter with his eyes slammed shut.

“I can’t do it,” he scoffed, unsure of who he was even talking to. “I do this every time, and I still can’t do it.”

Sylveon returned to his side, pressing a wet nose against Bede’s elbow. The boy absentmindedly reached down for the lovely creature, running his hands through the soft fur in hopes that it would ease his frustrations.

There was one other reason that Bede baked. He had always thought that food was the way to someone’s heart, especially sweets. Surely it would be enough to earn someone’s forgiveness, as well.

But the idea of actually doing that was terrifying. There was simply no way he could head all the way down to the laboratory in Wedgehurst, knock on the door with his heart in his hands, and beg for forgiveness from the person he had been so sure that he hated with every fiber of his being. And why? Because he was jealous? Confused? Like anybody would believe that nonsense. Even the thought of looking into those brilliant golden eyes again filled him with so much anxiety that it was difficult to breathe. Even thinking that person’s name would be a death sentence for Bede’s decrepit heart. Did he even still have one? Surely he must - all these pesky emotions had to be coming from somewhere. You would think that years of self-inflicted bitterness and anger would wring that stuff out of you, but apparently not.

Sylveon nudged his trainer yet again. Deep magenta eyes peered down, still trying to seem irritated with the pokemon’s constant interruptions.

“What?” he frowned.

The pokemon just stared up at him, that hopeful twinkle in its eyes gleaming with just a hint of… knowingness? The boy flicked up an eyebrow.

“You’re not serious,”

Sylveon barked happily.

“Most definitely not.”

A whine. Bede ran another hand through his hair, shaking his head. There was no way his pokemon was going to convince him to do something so childish. Right?

And yet, there he was, standing in front of the Wedgehurst Pokemon Laboratory, simple white box in his trembling hands. A small pink envelope rested on the top of the box, devoid of any signature or address. Just a quick drop-off gift to ease his conscience a little, nothing more. Sure, he had spent nearly three hours writing a letter - constantly writing then rewriting then rewriting some more in an attempt to make his words sound less annoying - but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Not like he would even know who sent this stuff. Bede made sure of that. So, with a deep inhale, the pink-clad boy gingerly placed the gift on the welcome mat, giving it a much too sentimental pat before racing off. Sylveon, following its cue, slapped the doorbell and scampered off after its owner, hiding beside the side of the building. Bede scooped up the pokemon, holding it to his chest while his heart raced inside of him. Was he making a big mistake? Would he even feel any sort of comfort from this? He wasn’t expecting any sort of forgiveness - he didn’t even sign the note! Maybe this wasn’t exactly his best idea.

The door opened with a creak, halting the gym leader’s breathing for a moment. A hefty bleat burst into life from the porch. No doubt that was Dubwool. Bede held his breath a little longer, clutching onto his decently sized pokemon for dear life.

“Hey, what’s this?” Hop’s voice wafted into the air. Bede could have died right then and there. Already he sounded so different - hadn’t it only been a year since they last spoke to each other? He sounded so much like his brother, but more youthful and bright…. But Bede tried not to think about that too much. “I don’t think Sonia’s expecting a package today.”

It’s for YOU, you dolt, Bede wanted to scream, feeling his face heat up to a rather unsightly shade of pink. Well, if pink could really be unsightly. But the sounds of shuffling and the following shut of the front door soon ease all the tension from the gym leader’s shoulders. Sylveon squirmed a bit in his hold, but Bede was too busy peeking around the corner. The box was now gone, no doubt in the hands of the professor’s assistant. Everything was out of Bede’s hands. He had technically made his amends, and could live his life in peace. With a smug nod of his head, he left the laboratory and made his way back to Ballonlea.

But then next week came along, and the feelings returned again. Bede could hardly focus on his training because of it; those terrible anxious feelings curled around in his stomach, but this time were tinged in a strange sensation of - dare he say - longing. Had Hop read the letter? Had he eaten the cake? Was it good? Did he even like chocolate cake with buttercream icing? Bede paused at that. Everyone likes chocolate cake with buttercream icing, he affirmed to himself, those who don’t are soulless and tasteless wretches! But still, these emotions didn’t seem to be leaving him any time soon. Sylveon pranced up to him as he stomped out of the stadium, frustrated with his own distraction, and offered a knowing yip. Bede didn’t even try to argue. He just grumbled a frustrated affirmation to the pokemon and hurried back to Ms. Opal’s house.

Within the next couple of hours, another elegant cake was crafted, just as perfect as the last. This time, though, he decided upon a chaste vanilla batter, along with a basic cooked frosting that was dyed a pale blue. Unlike the last, this cake was considerably more simple, but still managed to hold an elegant touch thanks to the delicate rose sculptures dancing along the top of the cake. While Bede was positive that his last cake was absolute perfection, he figured that a change of flavors could be appreciated. There was no way that Hop would have disliked something so perfect, no? Bede didn’t let himself entertain that thought.

As he wrapped up his cake, however, he noticed Sylveon trot away from his place at his feet. Before Bede could ask what was the matter, his eyes caught sight of that familiar old woman gazing curiously at the boy from the threshold. Bede grimaced, trying not to seem so guilty.

“A-ah, Ms. Opal, I….”

“Feeling frustrated, I see?” she spoke as plain as day, giving the pokemon a few pats.

Bede looked back down to his creation, wishing that she would just leave him alone. It wouldn’t be the first time anybody would do that.

“I was just feeling unsatisfied with my performance today during training. Nothing more.”

“Hm… And might I add that you’re looking considerably more pink than you usually are.”

Bede grumbled, raising a hand up to his cheeks. Sure enough, they were warm.

“D-don’t you have anything better to do?”

Opal shrugged, seeming content to watch the boy squirm underneath her sharp glare. He was an adorable little thing, if a bit ornery. Well, incredibly ornery. Eventually, though, she began to shuffle off, waving a withered hand in her farewell.

“Go on - make your delivery before the cake gets stale. Wouldn’t want that sweet little Hop eating a stale cake, now, do we?”

“Ah, yes, of course - WAIT WHAT?!?”

But she was already down the hall, hooting to herself in her crazy old laughter. The pink on his cheeks flared into a strawberry red, burning through his body like he was hit with a powerful Will-o-Wisp. How could she have seen right through him? Was he really that obvious? Before he could scream at her that she was misinterpreting things, Sylveon nudged the boy’s side. Well, maybe that could wait until after the cake was delivered. Bede pursed his lips as he finished boxing up the cake, and hurried off to scratch out an acceptable letter to go with it.

Just one more should do it, he reminded himself as he reached the laboratory yet again, depositing his anonymous gift onto the welcome mat just like before. And then my conscience will be clear and I can focus on more important things. He nodded to himself before scrambling away, letting his Sylveon ding-dong-ditch just like last time.

“Oh, another?” Hop’s voice eventually rang out, snagging something deep in Bede’s chest. “I wonder if it’s from the same person?”

Of course it is, you moron! Bede silently fumed from the side of the laboratory, waiting for the door to shut. A few moments went by, filled with a strange silence. Bede crossed his arms, trying to ignore the rising sense of dread in his gut. Just take it inside already, he wanted to shout. But that’d be unwise, exposing himself in such a childish manner. So the gym leader remained silent, counting the seconds as he fought the urge to peek around. Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, the door eventually closed, releasing the breath that Bede had been unconsciously holding the entire time. He glared down at Sylveon, who seemed incredibly happy at the moment as it danced around Bede’s feet.

“Alright,” he whispered, pointing a finger at the jovial creature, “that’s the last one. No more after this - got it?”

Sylveon wagged its tail, staring back with those big dumb eyes to its trainer. Bede let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He figured that reprimanding the pokemon would be fruitless, so he just decided to leave now while he had the chance. The last thing he needed was to get caught while engaging in an unsightly shouting match with a rather clueless Sylveon.

[kurt-nightcrawler]

I’ve got a boyfriend

Request: could you possibly do a warden x reader where she’s like super sweet and innocent (has like nature/healing powers and in this au avengers are there) anyways the Avengers visit the mansion and peter meets reader and is like all heart eyes and she’s super sweet and he mistakes it as she likes him too and then warren returns from a mission or somethin and she’s happy and is like pitching him up and peter realizes and the avengers are like it’s okay kid and warren is all smug and like yeah mine. also with that warren x reader ft. peter request. bc she’s so in tune with nature and herself can her eyes kinda be like a mood ring and shift with her feelings. so it’s like a warm green or yellow for happiness and so peters like yeah she likes me but then when she’s with warren he watches them shift to like a soft pink. like literal heart eyes and warren teasers her a bit (in a good way)

Word Count: 2.3k

Peter swung over to the Avenger’s headquarters on a Saturday. He always did this. 

“What’s on the agenda for today?” He asked Karen.

“Mr. Stark wants you to join the Avengers to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.”

“Xavier’s? Where—  What is that?”

“It’s a boarding school in New Salem.” Karen didn’t say anything else, leaving Peter with lots of questions. 

-

“Why are we going to a boarding school? What’s at Xavier’s?”

 Steve and Bucky chuckled at his curiosity.

“This isn’t like any other boarding school… It’s like Area 51.” Tony said.

“Didn’t you buy Area 51?” Bruce asked.

“That’s beside the point. We’re going here to talk to The man himself, Xavier.” 

Peter still had a lot of questions, but he had no idea where to start. Area 51 the boarding school? Is that where Carol’s Kree friend’s kids went to school? Peter took his phone out of his pocket and texted Ned. 

PETER: What is Xavier's school for gifted youngsters?

NED: It’s some boarding school for really smart kids. Trey from Bio tried to get in but didn’t pass the exam. Why?

PETER: Mr. Stark is taking me there. He and a couple of other Avengers are like, visiting or something. Idk.

NED: DUDE! You gotta tell me everything when u get back! I bet there are tons of really hot nerd girls there!!

Peter snorted to himself. Of course, Ned would think of girls. 

But there was some truth in his statement. There probably would be tons of smart girls there. But Tony described it as Area 51… 

NED: If you can get a girl’s number from Xaiver’s we’d be super cool. 

PETER: Yeah. But Mr. Stark called it Area 51 the school. What if it’s full of aliens?

NED: Okay? And? Technically Princess Leia is an alien. 

PETER: She’s also fictional.

NED: And? You’re seventeen and never been kissed before. You don’t have room to be picky.

PETER: You’ve never been kissed either!! 

NED: Shhhhhhh This is about u, not me

PETER: *eye roll emoji*

Peter turned his phone off and gazed out the window. He saw trees. The trees eventually started to die down and the car slowed down. They came to a set of gates and a sign that said Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.

Once entering through the gates, Tony drove around and parked the car. Peter could see glimpses of the school grounds. He saw a few students and at first glance, they didn’t look like aliens. But Kree could shapeshift. Maybe they just shifted to blend in. 

Then he saw a kid with a tail.

Maybe not. “I thought this was a school for aliens.”

Everyone stared at him blankly. 

“Aliens?! Kid, we didn’t mean that literally. When I said Area 51, I meant it’s kinda secret. Not that it’s full of aliens.” 

“Oh.” Peter felt rather foolish. “So it’s just a normal boarding school?” 

“No.” Bucky slammed the car door shut. “It’s a school for mutants.” 

“Mutants? But like, I thought they were kind of a myth. I mean besides Magento and Mystique, but they were around in like, the 70s.”

“And they’re still around. Let’s hope Erik isn’t here. I don’t want any trouble like last time.” Steve said the last part while staring Tony down. 

“It’s not my fault he can control metal and I’m Iron Man!” 

Peter was super confused. Didn’t Magento try to kill the president? Was he evil?

Bucky killed a president, but he’s not inherently evil. I need to give Magento a chance. I need to give everyone at the school a chance. Maybe make some new friends— flex on Flash that my girlfriend has superpowers or something. Wouldn’t that be hilarious?

They walked up a few stairs out front and opened the doors leading inside. 

-

“Oh wow. Wow.” The building was old looking but had a few modern touches here and there. Every room was bustling with people— mutants, going about their lives. 

Peter saw all kinds of mutants and he had only been inside for a few minutes! 

“Oh wow, Mr. Stark… Where’s uh… Professor… Professor... uh—“

“Professor Xavier’s in his office.” 

The Avengers turned to look at the speaker. She had vines wrapped around her legs and arms, along with some flowers and leaves scattered in her hair, and her eyes were a bright yellow color. 

“Thanks, kid. We know where his office is.” 

She nodded, “No problem.” 

Tony glanced at Peter’s slightly pink cheeks and back at the plant girl. “Do you wanna come with us or are you sticking with Mother Nature?” 

“I can show you around if you want.” Everyone looked at Peter, anticipating an answer. 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll catch up with you guys later.” 

“Alright, have fun. And don’t forget to be safe!” 

Peter blushed again, trying to ignore Tony’s teasing remarks, already figuring out he liked the plant girl. 

-

“My name is (Y/N) by the way.” 

“(Y/N), Hi. I’m Peter. Peter Parker.” 

She smiled, “What’s your mutation, Peter Parker?” 

“Oh um, I don’t— well it’s not a mutation, but, when I was fourteen I got bit by a radioactive spider and I got spider abilities.” 

“Spider abilities?”

He nodded, “I’m uh, really strong and I stick to things. Plus I have this like weird sixth sense sort of, like a spider-sense.” 

“You’re strong and sticky?” Peter nodded, a little flustered. (Y/N) laughed. Peter laughed with her. “I’m sorry, but that’s a hilarious description.” 

“I mean— yeah, yeah… What can you do?”

“Oh! I’m really in tune with nature. I can manipulate plants, and my eyes change color based on my mood. Red is angry, blue is calm, green is happy, yellow is excited— there’s more, but those are the most common.” 

Her eyes are green and yellow right now. That means she’s happy and excited— they haven’t changed since we met. Maybe she’s into me. Oh my god! What if she’s into me? She might be into me. Play it cool Pete, play it cool. “That’s really neat!”

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah. It’s fun, I guess. Kinda annoying sometimes but nothing awful.” 

“I know what you mean. One time my algebra textbook got stuck to my arm and it wouldn’t come off. I had to like, sleep and shower with it on all day.” (Y/N) laughed at Peter’s retelling of his sticky situation. 

“That must have sucked!”

“It did. Eventually, I got it to come off, but it was annoying to sleep with.” 

“Oh god, I can imagine. Sometimes I fall asleep and a fully grown watermelon or pumpkin is next to me in bed.” 

Peter almost snorted, but he held it back. “Free food, I guess.” 

“Yeah— a nice perk.” 

-

The two wandered aimlessly around the mansion, talking about everything— freshman, classes at their schools, hobbies, friends— everything. 

Peter was going to ask for her number. Maybe ask to see her outside of the mansion. Possibly on a date… If he wasn’t too nervous.

“Could I… get your number?” Peter held his phone in his hands tightly.

“Yeah! Yeah, totally!” (Y/N) recited her number while Peter typed it in his contacts. He shot her a message. 

“I texted you. So you have my number now.” 

“Cool thanks.” Peter felt his phone vibrate in his hands and he glanced down at it.

Mr. Stark: How’s it going with Mother Nature?

Peter: Great! I got her number. I might try to ask her out on a date. Will I be free on Friday?

Mr. Stark: You don’t usually come over on Fridays.

Peter mentally shrugged. Tony was right, Peter usually didn’t go to the Avengers HQ on Fridays. 

Mr. Stark: We’re gonna be leaving soon. I’ll let you know when.

Peter: Ok

(Y/N) was also on her phone. “Sorry! Mr. Stark texted me. I don’t want you to feel like I’m ignoring you or anything.”

“You’re fine. Jubilee was just messaging me.”

“About what?” 

Her focus went back to the screen. She gasped. “Oh my god! We have to go downstairs, come on!” (Y/N) grabbed Peter’s hand and sprinted down the halls. 

“Where are we going?” He asked.

“The Jet hanger downstairs. They’re back!” 

Peter frowned and furrowed his brows as they went down the stairs. “Who’s back?”

“The X-Men.” 

-

Peter was about 99% sure he shouldn’t have been downstairs. If the school had a level of secrecy to it, why would he be allowed to know all this stuff? To see the X-Men and their jet and training room and everything.

Then again, he was an Avenger.

(Y/N) and Peter weren’t the only ones in the hanger watching the black jet land. Professor Xavier and the other Avengers were there, along with a few other students Peter didn’t recognize. 

The jet doors opened and people started walking out. The first one was a young guy, no older than Peter, with brown hair, a blue suit, and a red visor on. Next was a blonde woman in a white bodysuit that was styled almost like a dress. She looked familiar, but Peter couldn’t remember why. Wit the blonde woman was a big, furry, blue man. He had on a suit similar to the boy from before, minus the visor. Finally, two more boys came out. One had silver hair, goggles, and his suit was a metallic ice blue with a white lightning bolt on it. 

The last guy had lines all over his face and giant, metal, wings. 

Peter turned to (Y/N) to ask who everyone was, but she was gone. 

“WARREN!” She engulfed the winged boy in a bone-crushing hug. 

Peter squinted his eyes a little in confusion. (Y/N) didn’t mention a Warren. Who was Warren? A friend? Her brother maybe even?

“Hey, baby. I missed you.” Warren placed a kiss on (Y/N)’s forehead. 

“Aww no love for me?” The silver-haired guy whined.

“Piss off Pete.” (Y/N) laughed. 

“By the way! There’s someone I want you guys to meet… This is Peter, and he’s an Avenger.”

“You’re an Avenger? My sister is an Avenger! Wanda, you know her—“

“Yeah, Wanda is really nice.” Peter was trying to take both the guys in and figure out (Y/N)’s relationship with the blonde.

Then Peter noticed it. Her eye color. It hadn’t changed all day, she was happy and excited to meet Peter. He thought maybe she was into him— but now…

Her eyes were pink. What does pink mean? 

“And this is my boyfriend, Warren.” 

Peter felt his heart drop, or maybe break. He wasn’t sure, but he felt his world get flipped upside down. (Y/N) has a boyfriend?! 

“Nice to meet you.” Warren and Peter shook hands. He tried not to seem too dazed. 

“You too… (Y/N) didn’t say she had a boyfriend…” Peter noticed the silver Peter was gone but didn’t press on the matter.

“Oh?” Warren rose his eyebrows and looked at (Y/N). “Trying to keep me all to yourself?” He teased.

“Maybe… You don’t know…” Warren chuckled and kissed the top of her head again. 

“Hey, Angel! We’re gonna do a write up with Beast and shower.” 

Warren rolled his eyes, “I’ll join you later Cyclops.”

“Mystique said now.” 

Warren huffed, “I’ll be back in like an hour, baby.” He pecked her lips before leaving. “Nice to meet you, Peter.”

 “You too…?”

Tony and the others walked over to Peter and (Y/N). “How’d you like the school, kid?”

“It was really cool. I like it here. It’s almost like a college campus or something.” Peter was still too focused on the fact (Y/N) had a boyfriend. A really cool, attractive, powerful, mutant, boyfriend. Peter couldn’t compete even if he wanted to!

-

Everyone walked back to the main entrance room. Peter walked slightly behind the group. (Y/N) asked Bucky questions about his arm. “Does it weigh a lot? Warren’s wings do. His posture isn’t great because of them.” 

Mr. Stark walked slowly to meet up with Peter’s pace. 

“Why’re you down? Sad we’re leaving?”

“No,” Peter mumbled. “It’s not important.” 

“Did someone say something to you? (Y/N)’s boyfriend? I can kill him if you want. I know his dad.” 

“I just… I didn’t know, (Y/N) had a boyfriend. I thought maybe she was into me, I guess. Most girls don’t like me and she said her eye color changes based on her mood and she was excited the whole time we hung out, but I guess it’s like that for everyone.”

Tony put his hand on Peter’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m sorry, Peter… There’ll be other girls though.”

He nodded, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine. Just kinda sucks.” 

“I get it.”

-

“I’m gonna bake some brownies. I know Warren and Peter really like them and they’re probably hungry. Do you want to stay and have some?”

“Thank you for the offer, (Y/N),” Steve said. “But we really have to get going.”

She shrugged a little. “Alright, maybe next time. It was so great to meet all of you! You’re all really cool. Tell Wanda, Peter said hi.” 

“Will do.” 

They were all about to get in the car and go. 

“Bye Peter! I had a lot of fun today. If you’re ever in the area text me. We should really hang out sometime.” (Y/N) hugged him, and Peter hugged back, trying not to seem sweaty due to nerves.

“Yeah, definitely… Bye.”

The Avengers got in the car and drove away.

-

“I love you, but sometimes you’re a little oblivious.”

“Am not!” (Y/N) scolded her boyfriend. 

“Peter was definitely into you. He almost passed out when you said I was your boyfriend.”

(Y/N) poured flour into a bowl starting her brownies, “He was probably just intimidated by your wings.” Peter doesn’t like me… Right?

Warren kissed the top of her head before walking over to the fridge to get a drink. “You’re cute when in denial.” 

“Shut up!” She joked.

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[edelwary]

when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.

REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS : 

TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part 

mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah : 

I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !

around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x) 

For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!

Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls). 

I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !! 

Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper) 

This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING. 

And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there. 

Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is

 HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW : 

I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why : 

You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3) 

You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved

It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong

Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones. 

Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.

I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage. 

You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you. 

Use. References. 

Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support. 

I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff ! 

Make it harder. 

No eraser. 

Paint. 

I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds. 

Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.

And if you make mistakes :

New page, restart

It’s okay

It’s for you

I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades 

You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit

Draw as large as you can 

There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines

Thin lineart helps

Thinner. Make it even thinner

Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art 

Big lineart ? Why not

Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty

Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think 

Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great. 

Don’t be afraid to do nothing

Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know… 

Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :

Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style

Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back

Take breaks. Breath. 

Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different

I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard 

But I really, really think it’s worth it 

MOTIVATION :

My main bitch 

I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-

Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work

Actual advices : 

I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later

Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic. 

Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.

Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf. 

Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool. 

Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT. 

Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry. 

Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more

Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF 

Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford 

MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol) 

Prompts blogs are cool too 

Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !

That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT

Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it

Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see. 

Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you. 

Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer 

Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it. 

FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one. 

Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them. 

WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!! 

[baekhvuns]

First of all Baek, happy belated birthday! You're so young bestie, but enjoy your immortality! Hope you get Seonghwa as a gift, but don't forget to share! 🎉

People absolutely do simp for clowns and I don't know how to feel about it, because clowns is one thing, but murderous clowns? That's a bit too much. 🤚🏻

Please I'm so mad, everyone on my timeline is seeing Ateez in Anaheim, even some of my friends. People in California I hate y'all! I'm currently in Berlin seeing DPR Live later today even though I didn't plan on doing it (and I might run into a "friend" I don't wanna see so rip) and tomorrow I'm going to a drag show. I'm just gonna pretend I'm seeing Ateez 🤡

I thought ToMoons were normal, but this whole issue proved there are many delulus in the fandom. And what is this person on about 😭 leave them alone if you can't support ot5. Btw two members of Treasure have left, 2022 isn't stopping... I don't follow the group, but I know Yedam was their best vocalist and trained for years so wtf

Sometimes they correct the mistakes during music shows, but only if they're more visible. I remember Ateez taking another shot once, but then with other small mistakes they didn't, tbh I usually don't notice anyway. But I saw Stray Kids make some mistakes - Woojin literally left mid-promo - so they struggled a bit

Please not Inkigayo sandwiches, I eat weird shit but no no no no ☠

Speaking of model Seonghwa...

"tbh i don’t even watch lives if psh isn’t in it" jshshshsushshdhshhs okay, but same. 😭 I usually don't watch lives in general, sometimes they play randomly and that's it. But Twitter is good for that, I don't need to watch shit yet still see the best bits!

I hope Exoplanet is real, but also if you can't go what's the point bestie :/

Baeksy can you believe I'm suddenly back to uni and got myself a boyfriend too?! Look it's HIM 😊😊😊😊

I can't with this fucking guy?!?!? 🧎🏼‍♀️I wanted to send the same thing, because what in the strip club?! Another WIP - Hwa as a night club dancer 🤚🏻

Poor Maddox, hopefully Hongjoong eventually replies/ed, but you're right Park Seonghwa would respond in a second <3

Why would booktook people take the website down? Omfg that Hoover woman and her followers are such a menace, my friend works in a bookstore and everytime someone buys/orders her books she dies inside a little bit.

Oh no, Yeosang viral zipper moment, the likessss 😭

???

The sneaky tongue I CANNOT he's a snake for real.

Also omg CHOI MINHO first solo album apparently?! And did you see Shinee's season's greetings?! From classical musicians to cereal lmao. It's a shame Minho's drama got indefinitely postponed, but I understand considering the tragedy

Hear me out: Seonghwa as a college student and part-time worker AU, he works at a bakery and laundry place (he does a terrible job at both but I go there every day) perhaps he's a night club dancer too 🙈 DV 💖

hi hello!!!

First of all Baek, happy belated birthday! You're so young bestie, but enjoy your immortality! Hope you get Seonghwa as a gift, but don't forget to share! 🎉

THANK YOU!! ANHDKW “you’re so young” cried bc i didnt want to grow old <//3 BESTIE NOT ANYMORE 😭😭😭 hoping to ask for seonghwa’s hand in marriage and i wILL SHARE

People absolutely do simp for clowns and I don't know how to feel about it, because clowns is one thing, but murderous clowns? That's a bit too much. 🤚🏻

NOO BC I GET PPL LIKE THAT ZOOTOPIA FOX BUT A WHOLE CLOWN??? murderous on top of that??? what the hell 😭😭

Please I'm so mad, everyone on my timeline is seeing Ateez in Anaheim, even some of my friends. People in California I hate y'all! I'm currently in Berlin seeing DPR Live later today even though I didn't plan on doing it (and I might run into a "friend" I don't wanna see so rip) and tomorrow I'm going to a drag show. I'm just gonna pretend I'm seeing Ateez 🤡

NO BC ALL THOSE ANONS ON MY BLOG ARE SEEING THEM SAW THEM IN ANAHEIM 🔫🔫🔫 “People in California I hate y'all!” I AGREE TO THIS !!! U GET EVERYTHING SHARE A LITTLE 🔫🔫 omg an anon on this blog is also seeing dpr in berlin,,, 2 anons 1 spACE U GUYS BETTER COME OUT AS FRIENDS omg let us know how all of that went!!

I thought ToMoons were normal, but this whole issue proved there are many delulus in the fandom. And what is this person on about 😭 leave them alone if you can't support ot5. Btw two members of Treasure have left, 2022 isn't stopping... I don't follow the group, but I know Yedam was their best vocalist and trained for years so wtf

i thought they were quite chill too but i was scrolling thru the timeline and saw some questionable things 🔫🔫 omg i was sO surprised at yedam leaving like this guy was like the face?? the ace and everything?? he spent all his life training and just 2 years into the career suddenly its poof ??? sounds sus but also heartbreaking to leave a career you’ve worked so hard for 😭😭😭

Sometimes they correct the mistakes during music shows, but only if they're more visible. I remember Ateez taking another shot once, but then with other small mistakes they didn't, tbh I usually don't notice anyway. But I saw Stray Kids make some mistakes - Woojin literally left mid-promo - so they struggled a bit /// Please not Inkigayo sandwiches, I eat weird shit but no no no no ☠

AHHHH im sure the recordings last way into the nights at times? oHHHH RIGHT RIGHT was there some sort of tension bc of the mistakes? truly was a mess of an era im sure they must’ve been frustrated,,, BESTIE WHY NOT FBAKFBKW EAT IT FOR THE EXPERIENCE,, THE CHARACTER EXPERIENCE!!!!! TICK IT OFF THE BUCKETLIST!!

Speaking of model Seonghwa...

STOP STOP STOP THE WAY I GASPED STOP THAYS HOW THIS MAN dm MAKES HIS ENTRY IN THE FUCKING FIC HES THE MAN OF THE SHOW ANONNNN DOMT MAKE ME WRITE A MODEL AU AGAIN

"tbh i don’t even watch lives if psh isn’t in it" jshshshsushshdhshhs okay, but same. 😭 I usually don't watch lives in general, sometimes they play randomly and that's it. But Twitter is good for that, I don't need to watch shit yet still see the best bits!

LMFAOOOO for seonghwa its just that he’s always doing some kind of expression, the smirks and the teasing iM ALWAYS GONNA WATCH HIS DBDB so vvv entertaining >> YEAH EXACTLY TWT HIGHLIGHTS THE BEST PARTS

I hope Exoplanet is real, but also if you can't go what's the point bestie :/

im hoping it is but i don’t think exo even know they’re having a concert 😭😭😭🤚🏼 NO EXACTLY WHATS THE FUCKING POINT,,, bUT taeyeon’s holding concerts now! about to start crying at cold as hell <33

Baeksy can you believe I'm suddenly back to uni and got myself a boyfriend too?! Look it's HIM 😊😊😊😊

HELLO I WAS LIKE BESTIE U GOT A BF??? HOW WHEN I NEED TO KNOW IF IT WAS LIKE AN AU,,, SMH BUT THIS COUNTS TOO no but the clothing is so pretty but the shipping 😭

I can't with this fucking guy?!?!? 🧎🏼‍♀️I wanted to send the same thing, because what in the strip club?! Another WIP - Hwa as a night club dancer 🤚🏻

im sorry what the fUCK IS THAT FBQKDHKS SEONGHWAS WOLF WHEN,,, hwa as a night club dancer 👁🤚🏼👁🤚🏼 im looking at tenelkadjowrites for that one bc their new fic is 98% smut 2% plot = amazing <3

Poor Maddox, hopefully Hongjoong eventually replies/ed, but you're right Park Seonghwa would respond in a second <3 //// Why would booktook people take the website down? Omfg that Hoover woman and her followers are such a menace, my friend works in a bookstore and everytime someone buys/orders her books she dies inside a little bit.

if hongjoong doesn’t marry seonghwa atp im gonna take him,, STOP OKAY THIS GIRLIE HAMED AUTUMN HERBS FBWMJDWK 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

apparently there was another acc that had 1.1 million likes on a video that shows how to use zlib 😭😭😭 it’s on sight for any coho fan i see,,, NO BC WHAT IS THIS

AND

?????

omg esp with christmas coming ur friend’s gonna be suffering 😭😭

Oh no, Yeosang viral zipper moment, the likessss 😭

the PERSON WAS SO CLOSE SIR U MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ZIPPED IT UP FJWKJDKW

??? //// The sneaky tongue I CANNOT he's a snake for real.

LMFAOOOO THATS ME IM IN THE PICTURE FBWKDH <33 and NO

Also omg CHOI MINHO first solo album apparently?! And did you see Shinee's season's greetings?! From classical musicians to cereal lmao. It's a shame Minho's drama got indefinitely postponed, but I understand considering the tragedy

PLS I SAW I CANT WAIT FOR WHAT HE DOES OMF PLS IF HE DO SOME RETRO-Y 1OF1 STYLING TYPE IM GONNA PASS AWAY,,, I DID LMFAOOOO SMS SO UNSERIOUS,, CEREALS 😭😭😭 omg now that everything’s having dates back im so excited for his show <33

Hear me out: Seonghwa as a college student and part-time worker AU, he works at a bakery and laundry place (he does a terrible job at both but I go there every day) perhaps he's a night club dancer too 🙈 DV 💖

LMFAOOOO IM SEEING GOOD BOY IN THE DAY BAD BOY AT NIGHT TROPE 👁👁 he’s the super nice sweet guy at campus but one day ur friend drags u to the club on the other wide of the town and its just him dancing there and it starts from there

omg but did hear ten’s new song birthday??? its so good????

no bc this is so true

WHATS HE DOING GHWK

😭😭😭

MUBANK WORLD TOUR??? BESTIE WERENT WE TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH WHEN KPOP CAME TO LONDON,,, ITS BEGINNING

HIS EYES

this is either duke or the new hwa in the fic 

hear me out,,, doctor hwa au

[survivesalem]

Episode 10 - “There is so many names out there right now” - Jessie

There is so many names out there right now . There’s a plan for Raffy the raft man to go . A plan for Cameron (who has actually spoken to me now after like eight days ) And the plan my group has thrown together the Fantastic four alliance wants to vote out Paolo. Who literally messaged me and told me today that I’m the person he trusts the most . I’m just like ... we haven’t spoken a lot so it scares me that he would trust me so easily . So I finally got the hex advantage I’ve been going for all season at today’s hunt  for items . I also have my lovely idol . 💕 Honestly this tribals gonna be messy and no matter what I do I’m going to face some sort of wraith from someone . I just have to deal with it when the time comes . For now I have to convince certain people I’m still voting how they want so they don’t rip me apart and decide I’m the vote . My demise right now at final eight would be untimely indeed . If I keep fighting I can do this . I will crawl my way around these prickly choices thrown my way . Also to my tribe mates who read this after the season . Y’all were messy messy damn I never know who’s actually a loyal human anymore . Xoxo Jessie 🔮

Obviously I was left out of the Paolo vote for good reason. I am not going to hold it against anyone because I did lie and do the Mac vote without them. I am just glad that they did not decide to vote me out instead. My plan for this upcoming round is to vote out Cameron as he is taking up a spot at FTC as everyone's goat which is detrimental to everyone who wants to get to FTC. The next round is the round I plan to get Gizmo out of this game as he is my biggest competition for best meat shield. Afterwards, I want to get out Liam and Brien which leaves FTC as me, Jessie, and Jay. I feel that I have a pretty good shot at winning against both of them, and they are probably the ones, at this point, I have the greatest chance to win with. Brien is too trusted, and I feel as though he really is the mastermind of the season. He cannot be allowed to make it to FTC. Liam is someone who I believe is well-liked which threatens my status as a good social player.

I will be genuinely shocked if I survive this vote. Its been good run. My first game. I made mistakes, I learned, I'm happy.

So I won my 2nd immunity in a row in toucjt subjects and I only got 1 answer in the challenge and it was that I was going to win this game. Which I’m happy to hear and I see it for myself but it won’t bode well for my target especially bc People think they might not be able to beat me at the end and I’ve 3 immunity’s but I still have hope and I’m not going anywhere this round so I made the final 6 and the finale. But I need to position myself the best I can so that I’m not voted out in 6th if I lose immunity. I have my final 4 with Liam jay and Jessie and I wanna stay loyal to them and I got my ideal final 3 of myself Jessie and jay but I know Jessie is close to jay and Liam so I’m starting to wonder if they have a final 3 and after Cameron goes this round they’ll take out all the big threats me raffy and gizmo. I still have my steal a vote which I told to jay and Liam to get them to trust me and I heard from Liam that Jessie has a hex and I don’t wanna get on her bad side so she doesn’t use it against me. I need to keep my alliance in line so they can take me to final 4 but if I go with jay Liam and Jessie I fear they may see me as the biggest threat to sin so they’ll vote me out but I have my vote steal which I’ll keep in my back pocket to use at final 6 or 5 to try to better my position and secure myself a spot in the final 3. Raffy is telling me he wants to go to FTC with me but idk how much I believe him but I need him around bc he is a huge threat almost as much as me and I got a lot of reassessing to do after Cameron goes but I think I’m in a prime position to make FTC if I play my cards right. I’m still waiting on an idol to be played I’m hoping one gets wasted tn or even played correctly so that whoever plays it becomes a target and I can stay to live another day. Cameron threw my name out to raffy bc they see me Jessie and jay as a trio and that’s a great read on their part but raffy doesn’t buy it and that may be his downfall for not thinking us 3 are as close as we are. I just need to keep them in line and then I think I can beat them both in a jury vote. I fear once Cameron leaves that gizmo will slide by another round before being looked at but I may have to work with him at 6 so I was honest with him this round that Cameron’s name is being thrown out I have no reason to lie to anyone this vote bc I’m immune. I’m also thinking of throwing a vote for Liam or gizmo bc if raffy is voting Cameron then 4 will be enough and people will wonder who threw the rouge vote and I can pin it on raffy as He lied about the Mac vote and I can just be like he lied then why should we believe him now. Idk if that’s the right play to do but it’s certainly an option to throw a rouge vote on someone to cause some paranoia among everyone and I would have no reason to lie and people trust me and they will believe me when I say I voted Cameron out.

I basically spent all night last night ratting Cameron out to Jay, Jessie, and Liam. I am trying to strong arm this vote which may bite me in the ass, but it is better than laying around and dying. Because I was voted "Next to Go," I had to pull something in order to stay. Brien reassured me on call that I wasn't getting any votes, but I don't know how much I believe that. I just have this creeping suspicion that I am going this round, but if I am so be it. This vote seems too easy so that's why I feel the way I do. But I would love to be at the finale.

AH IM LITERALLY SO CONFUSED AT THIS POINT. This game is literally so confusing . Honestly I just wanna make final six . I’d be fine with final six . Is my name out there ? Idk anymore because Raffy told me and then Raffy told Liam that it’s jay . So is it me ? Does Cameron have an idol? Does gizmo. Idea anymore I’m paranoid as anything . So we sit here with our idol and challange sit out . I don’t wanna be out just because I don’t play my idol but am I gonna play my idol oh no thx I’m good . Anyways tribals later and I can’t wait for it to be done . ♥️Xoxo Jessie ♥️

I will say this once and only once and I do not care about any backlash I may get for this at the end of the game. Why am I labelled as untrustworthy? Sure I voted out Mac, but that's the only thing. It certainly doesn't warrant being labelled untrustworthy and someone whose aggressive and inflexible and someone who "owes people apologies." Why am I labelled this way? I have consistently, throughout this game, have voted for who I said I was going to vote for. I voted Dylan. I voted Lukas. I voted Cameron both times. I voted Keegan. So, why does this one thing I did (voting Mac) label me as untrustworthy and aggressive? Looking at optics, I see a very clear divide. I am the only POC in this game. But let me justify what I am about to say. When Lukas was going crazy, people were just like "Oh but that's just how Lukas is." When I do my own thing which is on equal level if not less than Lukas, I am labelled as untrustworthy and aggressive. I have had a stigma stuck on to me by ONE thing where others (usually white) can get multiple. So why do you think that is? It's not that I'm calling people racist. It's that I'm calling for people to recognize why I am the one that gets all this shit in the first place.

While I am happy to still be in this game, Gizmo getting voted out is the hugest detriment and roadblock I've gotten at this point. Now, I am the next biggest target. I guess Raffy has to go on an immunity run in order to win this game. I am one away from getting an idol which means I could have a safeguard for whatever happens next. I just need to find those fucking nails.

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 10 - “I wanna merge” - Thomas

alright just a recap of the round since i was at work all day! i was suuuuper excited that despite being in the warzone i was there with owen and matt my main boiz. also now people don't need to go bitching that i haven't been there yet anymore xoxo bite me cullan u bitch. apparently right when we got to the warzone tommy threw out adrian's name to trace bc he's still pressed about him calling him inactive during the round that nehe left which i mean eyeroll but ok. so as soon as i heard this i told matt, which probably was a mistake on my part but oh well. at that point i still was wanting to go through with what matt had wanted which was an alliance with us, adrian, and maynor. matt tells me last night though that adrian apparently initially brought up wanting to vote myself or owen due to challenge prowess, and i'm assuming the fact that we're winners as well. again, eyeroll. i brush it off and am like well let's sleep on it and see where we're at in the morning. so i tell owen all of this as well and make him promise me not to leak bc this could've potentially been a big round for us depending on what we wanted to do. he agreed with me that adrian even suggesting our names in passing wasn't a cute look and i didn't really wanna stand for that. we talked about it in pms and then again in the paradise hotel chat and it was odd bc then traces' information and actions were always seemingly right behind us. i'm fairly certain matt was leaking all of it to him but ok. i mean i hope he wasn't, but we'll see. trace and adrian got close real fast if they weren't already so that was kind of another point that i was trying to drive home with matt. good ol' matt kept mentioning yk that me and owen are his main people and that he doesn't care if adrian goes and at that point it just felt like ok well put your money where your mouth is. so we push for that and come to the conclusion that we really just need us, tommy and chloe obvs bc she's not gonna vote herself. the group decides to leave trace out of it after i bring up how trace apparently has all of the tea so maybe it wasn't getting leaked to him afterall??? idk shrug. i did let stephen know what was going on a little before tribal, i probably should've confirmed with him earlier but i wasn't sure how much he was willing to trust me with kind of right away like that. everything goes right as planned and adrian leaves 6-2??? happy to be back and out of the warzone, but i miss matt and owen already, but corey is back with me now!!! oh that reminds me apparently matt is wary of both ian and corey so i gotta keep an eye on that moving forwards and plan accordingly. ummmm also trace messaged me and was like hey so what happened?? i decided to tell him that i legit must've misunderstood messages from someone and that he was back to voting adrian. idk i just played dumb so i hope he bought it. he was like yeah as long as it was miscommunication and not me getting fucked over it's cool sdjgksdlg like what am i supposed to say to that.... yes i was trying to fuck u over u right.... got me!! 

Genuinely surprised Chloe survived after being a target for so long, makes me suspicious there might be another alliance out there, because most people told me Adrian, they might not trust me yet, hopefully voting with them helped me there.

If I’m being truly honest. This challenge is so weird that i dont think imma be able to like do iy. Might be a warzone trip for me this round and it sucks because I dont want to go. Like Adrian was someone i could have worked with but he left 6-2 and I hope it wasnt Matt who voted Cloe.

---

I got the first one in 6 clicks. I hope im able to get the rest pretty quickly but i dont know if i move from kuwait or i start from survivor again.

Part 1. I have emotional motion sickness. Somebody pls roll the windows down. I'm scared to lose Matt or Owen at this tribal. I don't see it happening but it still worries me. Ideally, Thomas leaves. Kait or Stephen leaving aren't the worst case scenarios either. Realistically, I predict Trace or Stephen. Trace.... pls survive. I'll send this confessional in two parts. Will be writing the second part later tonight. Part 2. Well. Adrian left. this is bad for my game. Is it worst case scenario? no. But Trace didn't vote him out; Matt did. Matt betrayed Adrian and Kait basically told me so. I cannot trust Matt as much as I thought I could; but maybe his allegiance is to Owen primarily as Matt sold Adrian out bc Adrian wanted to target Kait/Owen. It's hectic but Adrian was a number for my game, personally. I'll do my espionnage and try to keep tabs on what everyone is thinking. Oh, and attempt to win immunity again!

Well, last night's war zone did NOT go as I expected. I really thought that everyone was on board to vote Chloe, but I was clearly mistaken. The tribal left me a little confused, and genuinely nervous about what my fate would be if I were to return to the war zone in the near future. There are a few things that I did learn from this war zone, however. I really think that matt is kind of calling the shots over there. He seemed to be the sneakiest one, and was the one lie that kind of hurt the most. Kait claims that she thought I knew the vote was Adrian, and that is was a mistake on her part. I don't fucking buy it. Kait is clearly close with Thomas (she literally calls him Tommy), but decided that they couldn't trust me enough to tell me in the end the vote wasn't chloe. I did not appreciate that. I hate being in war zones where people who are inactive get to stay because somehow, someone figured out how to goat them to the end. I am going to do my best to stay out of the war zone this round, but this challenge is confusing so I have no idea if I even have a chance.

Im really nervous for this immunity. I hope i had a quick clicks. If not I hope im with people i can work with and not be voted out. Im anticipating a merge soon but how it works idk.

http://prntscr.com/nu7q5f what kind of false scorpio antics.......... 

Me? Safe again? Hskshdjd who woulda THOUGHT!!! I’m glad madison is finally safe I feel like the more she goes the more time she has to make connections lmao. I know she rlly wanted to be safe this time for some reason but part of me thought she had been throwing tbh so she could actually play the game which isn’t a bad strategy. I feel really bad for matt going again :( but I think he will be okay. Here’s hoping they send Stephen out please and ty!!!! In other news I still think I’ve never talked to Ian or corey which is funny af because corey could be my number one in this game. I feel like he will be loyal to me once we make it together.... I rlly just hope him and Kait don’t clash, but I’m scared af because Matt was sus about corey getting renee out and I haven’t gotten to tell corey that yet. Hopefully when the time comes I can get corey and Kait to work together and the three of us can go to the end somehow. I’m not gonna turn on Kait. I can’t turn on corey. It’s gonna be messed up if they ever start to target each other bc Kait doesn’t know I’m close with him but he knows I’m close with her nnnn

Kait thinks I'm targeting pairs, huh? Well, yes but actually no. I'm targeting pairs in the since that members of those pairs are people I don't think would work with me, I'm not targeting them for being pairs. I've got a pair in Leo I want to work with, also MY SIGN PARTNER IS STILL IN THE GAME, albeit barely. It has become abuntly clear to me that Matt does not have over lapping interests with me in this game. The man is out there spreading propaganda against me to Kait and Owen, who has never met me might I add so he sees me exactly as I see him. A threat. Kait, I thought you were warming up to me, but please keep thinking Corey is who you should confide in, he's totally not closer to me or anything.

This Warzone is really stressing me out. I don’t think I have the same allies I’m usually confident with. There’s Devon and Trace and Maynor and Chloe but I only can trust them so much because none of them are working together. I’m hoping to get out timmy or Stephen who I don’t know and don’t trust but I also know that my name certainly could be coming up soon enough because with each tribal I survive I become a bigger and bigger threat. I’m ready for some idol shenanigans if need be but I’d love to save that shit for down the road.

The names being thrown out right now are Cloe, Timmy, and Stephen. I much rather have Timmy stay because we are actually working together in this game rather than against. Stephen even tho we dont talk much there is still that connection through his game he hosted and one we played together. Getting majority on Cloe will be great because she wont get dragged to the f3 and take a spot that could be mine.

This warzone feels different. It’s an odd group and a lot of people who haven’t been together. So it’s somewhat quiet but also contentious since anything could happen at this point. Not sure how tonight will play our, should be fun....

So the vote seems to be Chloe, yet she always gets votes and it’s never her so naturally I’m weary. I think this will be the time though, especially with who is at this tribal. Trace was saying Devon had said Stephen, which I don’t want him going because he would be a good number for me. Trace also said that Matt said my name but I think he’s now on the Chloe train...I’m hoping. Either way I doubt he would have majority. I’m hoping I stay because it’s about to be merge and I think I’ve been doing well so far. I’m proud of how social I have been with people, it’s not the best, but it’s a lot better than I usually am.

It looks like the vote is locked on Cloe but still very awkwardly quiet. I hope nothing crazy goes down. *knocks on wood*

Don’t mind me just dying and having no idea what’s going on at all hahaha probs gonna be voted out next xoxox 

This better be the last Warzone, I wanna merge.

So, with little debate, I think we settled on voting Chloe. Originally, Devon and Matt wanted to vote Stephen, but I had to convince them onto Chloe because I want to make sure we have more people on our tribe than theirs so that I have a chance of winning immunity. Matt told me he heard Timmy's name which is weird. I think he was just trying to scare me. I told Timmy about it, and Timmy was upset, but I really don't think it went anywhere. Chloe came to me and told me that she would vote anyone as long as it wasn't her. I really don't trust Matt even though he keeps telling me that I can trust him, so idk. Maybe I'll flip the script at the last minute and try to get everyone Matt at the last minute, but we shall have to see if that's smart for me... idk

[rachello344]

ace-of-twos:  last night you reblogged a thing and one of the options was “tell me a story that happened to you”. i’m sorry this took so long to type. but here it is. i hope you enjoy reading it. sorry it’s a mess. 

… [Rachello344: I’m adding a readmore because damn is this a helluva story, but it is also quite long XD]

first thing you gotta know is that like any set of best friends, lex and i make terrible decisions. this includes deciding to go to the fair last minute which, yes, may sound like a great idea, but just wait for it. the second thing you gotta know is there are going to be a fuckton of asides in this story bc the entire day was a magical and incoherent wreck. 

there’s a fair that comes into town twice a year. i don’t usually go bc it’s hot and loud and god there are so many people. but lex convinces me and we go.

our first mistake: we arrived as it opened, at 1pm. 

our second mistake: from arrival to departure, we did not leave the fairgrounds. 

our third mistake: we stayed until approximately 8:30pm. 

keep in mind that those numbers, first and second and third, only really apply to that particular list. many mistakes were made that day. most, but not all, were made by us. it was terrible but also mostly hilarious. 

so, to get into the fair and actually get to the rides, you have to walk through a long kinda psuedo hallway filled with carnival games. giant prizes are hanging from the ceiling. one of these prizes is a dragon. it’s fucking adorable as shit. keep this in mind. it’s important. 

at about 2pm, both of us high on adrenaline, we decide to ride the tilt-a-whirl. i have never properly been on a tilt-a-whirl so a number of things happen in rapid succession. lex scares the shit out of me by making the carriage spin super fucking fast. (i thought you were just supposed to sit there and let the momentum spin you around. oh, how wrong i was.) i discover that i fucking love the tilt-a-whirl. i demand we ride it again. we get in line. when we get back to the ticket gate, the person managing the ride tells us that we’ll have to take another person in the carriage with us. this is fine until it’s revealed that this other person is a 10yro girl. 

lemme describe this girl for you: big, trusting eyes; dark skin; the sweetest smile; chocolate colored hair in a neat bob; matching shorts and top. basically she’s the most adorable small child i’ve ever seen. 

lex and i are 100% planning to spin the ride out of control. 

i am slightly worried for this child. maybe we shouldn’t do this. i really don’t want her to throw up, specifically on either lex or i bc we are idiots who live far away from the fair and yet brought no spare clothing despite the fact that fairs are messy places. to be fair, i also just really don’t want her to have a terrible time. but mostly the throwing up would be a downer. 

we spin the ride. 

for two seconds, i watch the small child with concern. and then she screams, the delighted kind, and i help lex turn the carriage into a poorly maintained and probably dangerous metal tornado. 

(s'all good, no one’s died at the fair in… years, probably. idk.) 

i’m pretty sure we made that kid’s day. we also probably made her parents want to kill us bc we definitely turned her into an adrenaline junkie. 

moving on. there’s a swing ride called the yo-yo. (yes, it’s exactly as terrifying as it sounds. the only ride that scares me more is the zipper.) lex initially doesn’t want to go on it bc tbh it’s a wee bit rundown. it’s an old fair, everything is a little broken, but this ride is like scarily old. but then she remembers some of the nostalgia or smth and we get in line. 

all the swings are individual seats, one in front of the other, around a thing that spins. a major fucking asshole sits in front of lex. 

i’m already scared out of my mind, no matter how fucking safe they claim to be those things do NOT feel secure, and then this guy? he starts swinging back and forth, trying to hit his girlfriend that’s sitting in front of him. he hits lex multiple times in the process. i was so close to strangling him but i really didn’t want to be arrested for murder and ruin an otherwise good day so i moved on. 

(also he and his gf spent the entire time before the ride got started making out????? like wow. can there be a limit on pda? like please? chill out.) 

you remember that dragon from earlier? let’s get back to it. 

okay, actually, one more aside. it’s time for lunch. lex and i have realized too late that fair food is fucking expensive. we spent all our money getting day passes so we could ride every single ride available to us. lex is a bottomless pit and i don’t eat much, but even i’m hungry. 

we do the obvious thing and beg my dad to drive out to the fair and give us money for food.

(yes, we had passes. this means we could’ve left and come back. no, we did not do that. in our defense, going home would’ve taken like an hour and then add in food prep time and actually eating it and then coming back? yeah, no. fair only comes once a year. it’s ride or die.) 

my dad gives us way too much money. yep, his mistake. like. giving a large amount of cash to teens wandering around a fair? not smart. 

despite the fact that we were both starving, it’s also fucking boiling out. we aren’t as hungry as we think we are. so we split a poutine and still have a ridiculous amount of money left. 

back to the dragon. 

we’d gone up to one of the stalls before and asked what we had to do to win one. the lady is old and kinda grumpy, probs not super happy about working around screaming kids, so instead of telling us how many balloons we had to pop to get a dragon (the information we were looking for) she tells us how much money to just straight up buy it. 

i’m hard of hearing and have problems processing auditory input so i do not hear what the price is. this is before lunch and i have fourteen dollars. 

she walks over while we’re trying to count out how much change i have and then shakes her head. she did not say fourteen dollars. she said forty. anxiety kicks in and it’s suddenly the worst moment of my life. 

after lunch, we have forty dollars leftover. we march up to the lady and i would love to say we shoved forty dollars in her face but we did not. we crouched over her counter for about ten minutes trying to figure out what combination of change equaled forty dollars. then i awkwardly poured it into her hand. 

she’s going to just give us the dragon but apparently she has to keep up the ruse bc she drops a handful of darts on the counter. we have eight darts between us and we have paid forty dollars. all i want is the dragon. 

we each throw four darts. it’s horribly sad to pay forty dollars and get a measly eight darts. but hey, the economy is shit. we are also shit. as in, we are awful shots. i think we managed to pop a total of three balloons. it’s far more likely that we only popped two. 

i tell myself that we aren’t paying for the darts, we’re paying for a dragon. 

the lady hands us a dragon. i forget that anything bad has ever happened to me in my life. i am so fucking overjoyed to have a dragon. like damn. 

the rest of this story happens much, much later. 

it’s about 7pm. lex and i have decided to go on one last ride and then leave. we’re both wearing shorts, have no jackets, and it’s getting cold out. so we get in line for the himalaya. 

(to explain, it’s kinda like a roller coaster but it only goes around a little circular track. they play really, really loud music the entire time the ride is going. it’s awful and amazing. esp bc they play weird shit like gangam style and old justin beiber songs. it’s weird. the ride spins forward for half a song and then backwards for the last half. there’s usually a guy standing by to make sure that everything runs smoothly but he also has another purpose. he sits there with his hands out and high fives as many people as he can. it’s amazing but as the lighter person i’m never on the outer edge so i can almost never reach him and it’s upsetting.) 

we’re waiting in line for the himalaya. we’re both tired. we’ve been here for six hours. both quiet. and then lex screams. 

she’s seen our friend chris on the ride. we did not know chris was there, had no plans to meet up with him. and chris is kind of awesome and bubbly and just all around a pretty cool dude. we both love him. 

so clearly, we spend the next couple of minutes making funny faces at chris every time the ride brings him closer to us. it’s what friends do. 

when chris gets off the ride, he’s here with some other people that we barely know but that isn’t important, we make plans to ride the himalaya together as our final ride. lex and i get on the ride and we’ll meet up later. 

(before then, we also persuade him to ride the tilt-a-whirl with us and scare the shit out of him by spinning it as hard as we can. there’s videos of him just screaming. it’s pretty great.) 

then it’s the last ride of the night. the himalaya. 

we all get in line. 

after such a good day, something just had to go wrong. 

we’re getting pretty close to the start of the line and there’s a pretty decent gap in the line bc it’s late and everyone’s lazy so lines tend to be disorganized. a group of teens is kinda chilling next to the line and they do the unthinkable. they attempt to slide into the line just ahead of us. 

this brings us to the part of the story where chris almost gets in a fight. 

chris may be an airhead but he absolutely will not stand for shit like that so he just holds his arm out in front of him like a shield and tells them to go to the back of the line. the teens do not take this super well. 

incorrigible as ever, they still jump the line but this time they end up just behind us in the line. everything is fine. and then the ‘leader’ starts talking shit at chris, backed up by his boys. 

(i should mention that chris is trans, pre-t, and fucking tiny. he also lacks comon sense. for all that he may be like three years older than me, he will always be my little brother.) 

so when the leader says, “if you ever fucking touch me again, i’ll grope your ass,” we all get a little defensive. also bc the guy’s a dick. 

there’s two kids in line behind us and in front of them. lex has noticed them, i did not. they’re middle schoolers. clearly. they’re full of energy, dancing and dabbing and just generally being walking, talking memes. lex is also a memelord. these are her people. so she turns to them and asks them to annoy the shit outta the guys behind them. 

being annoying middle schoolers who love chaos, they comply. 

at some point they ask us how old we all are. now, remember how i said chris is fucking tiny? he tells them he’s 21 and they don’t believe it. and of course, i’m 19 but i look 12 so they don’t believe me either. 

chris and i are both fucking extra so we dig out our wallets to present our id cards to these kids. and my wallet is a wee bit of a disaster. i’m also clumsy. so when i try to get it back in the bag, it doesn’t end well. i decide to just carry it with me on the ride and it’s all going great until i trip. all the cards spill out. 

now there’s this guy and i’ve seen him on several rides. he’s wearing sunglasses and a frown. i have not seen him smile all day. he also keeps texting during rides with is baffling to me. ENJOY THE DAMN RIDE. 

just giving you context so he’s clearly established as a douche. 

i trip right next to his car. as i’m struggling to pick up the contents of my wallet, he turns to me and says, “how many fucking cards do you need?" 

i’m not proud, but here’s my response: "how many fucking cards does your mom need?!” then i walked away. and keep in mind that half of my cards are still on the floor as i make my exit. (luckily lex grabbed them.) 

with that nonsense over, we attempt to get on the ride. 

now, i’m a fucking twig with legs and i’ve already said that chris is tiny. we figure that all of us will fit in the one car. we have forgotten to factor in lex’s fucking gigantic hips. she cannot fit in the car with us. so she gets out and looks around and spots them. 

the middle schoolers, they’re sitting behind us. 

lex approaches their car and says, i kid you not, “move fuckers, i’m getting in.” respectful of their meme elder, they allow this. 

we figure that’s enough adventure for one day so lex and i start to leave the fair. it’s been a long day. we are very tired. i say, wistfully, “damn, we should’ve gotten a picture with the meme children.” lex and i turn to each other, communicating non-verbally, and simultaneously turn to head back into the fairgrounds. 

and that’s the story of how i ended up following two children on instagram. 

[frop]

do all of them you mother fucker

not Once but Twice u have done this to m 

Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them 

Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people

Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later 

Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7 

The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick

The World -  A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe 

Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends 

The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out 

Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically

Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically  Unlovable 

Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless 

Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao 

Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips 

The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day 

Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar 

Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently 

Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me 

Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already 

Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is 

Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up

Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser 

Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire 

Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats 

Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back

Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each 

Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying 

Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil

Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better 

Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist 

Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy 

King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows 

Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy 

Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,, 

Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico 

The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat 

White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums 

Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are 

Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any 

Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea

Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed

Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh 

Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs 

Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest

Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that

Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea 

Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks 

C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm 

MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put 

Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather 

Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful

Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee

Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball 

Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon 

Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!

Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick

Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!! 

Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure

In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise 

Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever 

Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful

Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything

Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope 

King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon 

BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it 

Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders 

Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it 

California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough 

JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre 

[kurtwarren54]

Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness http://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/05/02/prepping-fet-frozen-embryo-transfer/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

[aawarning-blog]

New Post has been published on AAW

New Post has been published on http://www.anamericanwarning.com/2017/10/stephen-paddock/

Some Things Are Not Adding Up About the Stephen Paddock Narrative

Let me say that my heart goes out to the victims of this tragic event. This is absolutely horrific and very sad indeed. While horrible people are tying desperately to exploit this tragedy for political gain, there are a lot of good people doing all that they can to try and find the answers we all desperately seek. I want to thank those of you working hard and trying to find answers. Still… I think it’s important for everyone to continue to ask questions and this is especially true when pieces of the puzzle don’t quite fit. I want the truth just as much as the next guy so let’s start asking ourselves some uncomfortable questions.

As you probably know by now, Stephen Paddock has been identified as the Las Vegas shooter. He is a 64 year old licensed pilot with no criminal record. He was a retired accountant that owned a $400,000 home in a Nevada retirement community and has been described as a “normal guy” with a long-time girlfriend and a good life. The story right now is that this guy snapped and decided to kill a bunch of people.

It was to be expected, but there are already cries about false-flags, conspiracy and so on. We have seen reports about ISIS claiming responsibility as well. I have even seen reports that it was an illuminate hit based on the idea that the slaughter was right in front of the pyramid and sphinx.

Theories are plenty at this point and I suppose I am no different in the idea that I want to try and make sense of this horrific event. The thing we need to try and understand is the motive. Another thing we must strive to see is the bigger picture. It seems outlandish that people would jump to such wild conclusions but in their defense, there are some puzzling questions that have yet to be answered and much of what has been discovered simply doesn’t make sense. I haven’t come to many conclusions myself yet but let me show you some of what I mean.

Different media outlets are suggesting that Paddock was a hunting enthusiast (a person who is highly interested in a particular activity or subject), but according to his brother Eric as reported by CBS News – Stephen was “Not an avid gun guy at all…where the hell did he get automatic weapons? He has no military background?” The brother’s statements seem almost contradictory to the picture that the media is trying to paint. Why? Because you cannot mistake a hunting enthusiast with someone who is “not an avid gun guy” and this is especially true when it comes your own family. This is strange indeed. However, this is just where the questions begin. Was Stephan living a double-life? Was there something underlying that his family didn’t know about?

Reports says that Paddock had more than 8 guns inside the hotel room. Some reports are saying he had as many as 16. They also said that he had two different platforms set up to shoot from… because evidently the extra foot or two from the platform helped to provide a better vantage point of the concert… better than the 32nd floor could otherwise provide? Additionally, they said that Paddock had set up cameras to see when police might be arriving.

Does this sound strange to anyone else? At the very least, does this sound like a squeaky-clean 64 year old retiree with no military or intelligence background? To me… this is very odd indeed.

Furthermore, police have said that Paddock occupied the hotel rooms since Sept. 28 and reports are suggesting now that he had been blowing a lot of money on gambling. This part isn’t necessarily strange. In fact, he was considered a “high stakes gambler“. This was common place for him. The part that is strange is that he decided to rent two rooms and shoot up a concert. So let’s look at some of this from a simple perspective.

CBS News showed a video of the brother saying that Stephen “… had a couple of guns but they were all handguns, legal…he might have had 1 long gun, but he had them in a safe.” But reports are saying the weapons used were automatic and the police are saying there were somewhere between 8 and 16 with him in the room (reports conflict a bit). Sure, it’s possible that the brother didn’t know Stephen too well. I can concede to that.

So let me talk about the weapons – which did sound like automatics from the videos. CNN reports that the police believe that the weapons were purchased legally but I don’t trust CNN so I don’t know how accurate that really is. They very well could have been. All I have found is that police suspect that at least one of the weapons was modified to allow it to function as an automatic weapon and that the guns included a handgun, a .223 caliber and a .308 caliber rifle. But that’s only three out of the 8 to 16 used.

Another interesting point is that the police searched the home of Paddock and found 8 additional guns, some explosives, thousands of rounds of ammunition and “electronic devices” inside the house. This could be evidence that perhaps Eric didn’t know Stephen as well as he once thought or that perhaps there is something much bigger going on. There are still a lot of question marks there, so let’s just put a pin in  that for a moment and focus on what we do know.

A man with no formal military or intelligence background sets up two shooter platforms in two different rooms, he smuggles 8 to 16 guns including what sounds to be fully automatic rifles, smuggles in enough ammunition pull it off, smuggles in and sets up camera equipment, etc., over the course of a several days while blowing money in the casino and yet somehow, hotel employees went “to and fro” during the days before the shooting, but saw “nothing nefarious” or anything that could be labeled “suspicious”? Is it possible? Sure. Is it suspicious? Absolutely.

So now lets talk about the reports of more than one shooter. We should all concede to the fact that a firearm going off will echo. It is quite plausible that there was only the one shooter and the reports are pointing to nothing more than the echos that are often heard. But then I’m left to question why the two shooter stands, why the two shooter positions and why have so many weapons?

Now, let us remember that the brother said that he was a normal guy who must have ‘snapped‘ before carrying out the worst mass shooting in American history. He said that there was ‘absolutely no indication he could do something like this‘ and said that Stephen had no political or religious affiliation. This may be true and we need to consider that but I’m not buying that this is what happened. That being said, if it was really Paddock that did this, Eric’s declaration seems to support Deputy Sheriff Kevin McMahill’s statement that Paddock shot himself as police entered the hotel room because that’s what mentally distressed people tend to do. But that’s not what happened. A SWAT team actually found Paddock dead in his hotel room and they merely suspect that he killed himself (as of right now).

There is not a lot to suggest that Paddock had some kind of mental breakdown and his motive remains a mystery. This is especially true if the brother is correct in the idea that he had no political or religious affiliations. That being said, reports are showing that Paddock’s father was a serial bank robber who was ‘diagnosed as psychopathic‘ and spent eight years on the FBI Most Wanted list after escaping prison. Something to keep in mind here is that according to the Mayo Clinic, mental illness is more common in people whose blood relatives also have a mental illness. I guess what I am saying is that it’s possible. However…

According to Wikipedia, a mental breakdown is an acute, time-limited mental disorder that manifests primarily as severe stress-induced depression, anxiety, or dissociation in a previously functional individual, to the extent that they are no longer able to function on a day-to-day basis until the disorder is resolved. The problem here is that we have a planning element to contend with. Mental breaks don’t usually last very long. For some, a mental breakdown lasts a few days or a week. For others, maybe a month. Did Paddock have the time? Granted, we don’t know how long he had been planning this. I know I’m looking forward to seeing when exactly he rented the rooms.

Regardless, it is possible so we shouldn’t rule a mental breakdown out by any means, but the thing that I keep coming back to is that Paddock’s mission (purchasing, planning, etc.) had to have started well in advance of the concert which reduces the chances of this being some quick mental breakdown. I think we need to consider the target itself. Why a country concert? Think about the forethought necessary to know which rooms would be facing the concert. Think about the multiple rooms. Think about reserving the rooms far enough in advance to ensure that concert goers wouldn’t take up the rooms necessary to pull it off.

Aside from all of that, think about who is going to be attending a country concert. This was a huge 3 day event with well over 20,000 people in attendance. Like top legal executive at CBS, Hayley Geftman-Gold, said “I’m actually not even sympathetic bc country music fans often are Republican gun toters.” In other words, it’s probably a bunch of Trump supporters. I’m not buying that Paddock had no political ideology though. Even the majority of the “non-political” people I know still have very strong political feelings over this last election. Was Paddock one of them?

Now, let’s consider the history of active shooters in the United States. It’s not a competition, but what do Nidal Hasan, Elliot Rodger, Aaron Alexis, Seung-Hui Cho, James Holmes, Amy Bishop, Andrew Stack, James Lee, Jared Loughner, Harris and Klebold, Bill Ayers, Lee Harvey Oswald, ANTIFA, BLM, etc. etc. all have in common? Add in the extremely heated political climate as of late and this is the part that actually would make the most sense (at least so far). If a man with a hidden mental illness suddenly snaps and takes his rage out on a bunch of Trump supporters, what is the simplest answer?

I’m not saying what did or didn’t happen. I concede that my theories on this may be way off and I don’t know the motive here. I am just trying to put some of the pieces together based on what we do know. Regardless, there can be no doubt that this attack was highly organized, which leads me to believe that this was not the impulsive act of someone suffering from a mental breakdown or someone that “just snapped”. Instead, I am suggesting that this was methodical and very deliberate. Simply looking at what would be necessary to pull this off leads us to this conclusion. This tells me that Paddock was either a victim or very dangerous man with a very specific mission.

Regardless, law enforcement has said that they do not believe that this was preventable. I guess I’m just bothered by the fact that so many reports seem to indicate that a lone-wolf shooter with no military or intelligence background somehow got angry enough (for whatever reason) and decided to organize an attack, buy the necessary weapons and materials, reserve the rooms, construct the parts, set up a camera system and pull off a highly sophisticated mass shooting event and then kill himself right before police entered his room and all without anyone noticing a thing.

It’s as if I have seen elements of this before. Eagle Eye and Jack Reacher come to mind. So does the movie “Shooter” with Mark Wahlberg. If this were a movie theater, I would be on the edge of my seat trying to figure out the details of Paddock’s double life or wondering if he was simply a fall guy while the real killers framed Paddock and escaped not long before the police arrived. But this isn’t a movie. So perhaps we should also consider reports from people like Breanna Hendricks. She told the DailyMail.com that a woman had entered the crowd with a male companion and screamed ‘They’re all around… You’re all going to f***ing die today‘ just about 45 minutes before the first shots rang out. Is this some incredible coincidence or what? This aligns with the reports of the multiple shooters.

So let’s think about that for a moment. Hendricks said ‘She said they’re all around us and we were going to die.’ What are the odds of that? Hendricks described the lady as ‘Hispanic, probably about 5ft 5, brown hair. It felt like she had knowledge of what was about to happen, her and her boyfriend who was also Hispanic.’ She went on… ‘It seemed she was telling us to either warn us or she was part of it and she was telling us because she knew we were going to die, it was so scary.‘ That is a little bit beyond odd. Who are “they” exactly?

Granted, it’s still not clear whether what she witnessed is related to the shooting or not, but it is worth keeping in mind as we continue to move forward. This is especially true when you consider that the concert was attended by what would be considered to be a mass of Trump supporters during a time of extreme political volatility and after repeated promises by the left for continued violence and a potential war. I’m not saying that Paddock couldn’t have done it, I’m just saying that I do not believe this is as simple as what some are making it out to be.

Like I said… I don’t have many conclusions but some of this simply doesn’t make sense to me yet. My mind races with leads and potential suspects – from political figures to drug cartels. But you know what? Hopefully Paddock was the lone shooter and this is all over with and we will discover his reasons. Maybe he really was just a retiree with too much money and time on his hands and wanted to take out some anger on the world. Maybe he was lashing at Trump supporters or Country Music. Or maybe he was set up. Anything is possible at this point and many more facts are needed. I’ll tell you this much; I am definitely looking forward to some added clarity over the next several days. My advice is to continue to ask questions and be careful about your conclusions. Until we figure this out, I would like to encourage you to read a couple of articles I have written about active shooter scenarios and situational awareness.

Survive an Active Shooter

Situation Awareness