#but I’m too old for that

[daistea]

I’m actually not used to writing short fics, I prefer long and drawn out slow burns (looks at my 300k genshin fic) so I have the deep urge to write that for Mithrun, but… I hesitate because it would be a reader insert, obv. I’d have to take away some of the insert/rp elements of the reader, and where would I even post that genre of fic?? Wattpad?????? Who do you think I am???????

[rooolt]

deeply important aspect of riz gukgak’s character to me is that he’s quite a bit deranged. Brings a gun to school, shoots an unconscious man point blank in the head just so he won’t wake up, tortures a kid by shooting off three of his fucking fingers, threatens to bite Dayne’s eye out of his head as revenge for Fabian, literally eats Kalvaxus, consistently hissing throughout sophomore year, and of course “make sure to cut off his head so he can’t be revivified”

[jibberjibbsart]

Supernatural “Power Hour” Part 17

Luz tries to explain what a Stonesleeper is without saying what a Stonesleeper is, and Dean is old.

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[thebaldursmouthgazette]

I’m sure Dumat being defeated the same year andraste was born means nothing

I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that andrastes mother was part of a tribe who helped the grey wardens fight and defeat dumat the same year she was born, meaning that she could have been a fetus affected by the taint in the proximity of a dying arch demon

And the fact that nobody knows which grey warden killed dumat, as seven wardens died from injuries from his death throes, and therefore we cannot actually identify a warden who absorbed his soul, means nothing

And I’m sure it is a complete coincidence that andraste had dreams and visions of the being later referred to as the maker her whole life, and behaved strangely, talking about hearing lost voices and seeing strange auras. That absolutely doesn’t sound like anyone else we know

[lostl1sbons1ster]

Ending my summer like her

[retroautomaton]

🍳🐖🌱

[sandeewithtwoe]

Avatar The Last Airbender moment

Dream and Nightmare belongs to Jokublog

Ink belongs to comyet/myebi

Transcript:

Dream: Listen, Ink, I know my brother is still in there somewhere! Maybe he just wants to talk!

Dream: Brother, stop! Why are you doing this?!

Nightmare: What, isn’t it obvious?

Nightmare: IM ABOUT TO CELEBRATE BECOMING AN ONLY CHILD!

Dream: Okay, maybe he doesn’t want to talk

Ink: Non, really??

Nightmare: (laughing in the background)

[zutarawasrobbed]

I’m sorry, but the Netflix showrunner referring to Kataang as an “issue to tackle” in the future is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read/heard.

[davidtennan-t]

It’s been pointed out that during the end scene, fourteens waistcoat is completely undone, showing his inner layers - it had been done up by one struggling button before this… because fourteen was hanging on by a thread… now he can let go and open up

[sourtoasterstrudel]

Obligatory gravity falls post because I too had my gravity falls hyperfixation resurrected by book of bill’s release

I’m not super proud of this it took a lot out of me to work on and I kinda tapped out halfway through but despite that I’ll post it because I haven’t shared stuff in awhile

I have a compilation post of stuff I’ve been working on so that’ll probably get shared soon too

[jesuistrestriste]

Sage hear me out...

Divorced dilf art who calls his younger gf mommy

art stays cooped up in the house all day—everyday—when you’re out at your hot new job.

he thinks about all the guys your age who probably ogle you and try to make passes at you, not knowing that you’ve got a man pushing 40 waiting at home for you with dinner and a pair of warm, strong open arms.

sigh.

when you do get home, he’s there to greet you (as always). he walks over and holds you close; kissing your cheek, and then your lips and your neck. each one soft and sweet and attempting to wipe your mind of any flirtation from younger men that you may or may not have endured throughout the afternoon.

“hi,” he whispers, and you slide your fingertips down his lower back, making him tremble like a wet kitten.

“hey, baby,” you hum in return. you’re shorter than him, and so when he leans his weight into you his forehead naturally falls into your shoulder. he smells like warmth and outdated cologne and need.

he mouths at your neck in the next moment, his hands sliding to lovingly cup your waist, “i missed you so much.. can i have you now?” he breathes out, his voice shaking and pleading. you feel something thick and warm press into your hip from inside his sweatpants.

and you chuckle and shake your head. he bites his bottom lip to stifle a petulant whimper.

“i missed you too,” you nip at his ear, “but i need you to use your manners if you want something from me.”

he stiffens for a moment before he stumbles forward a bit, taking you with him and gently pushing your back up against the door. “i’m sorry.”

the apology spills from his lips with an earnest desire to make his obedience known. he’d never want to disappoint you. you’re all he has these days.

“can i… can i please have you now?”

a breath. a shake of your head. a rock of his hips against your body followed by a sorrowful, begging moan.

“no?” he shifts against you, his body aching for yours.

“you’re forgetting something, Art.”

it only takes a moment for him to process your words before he’s mumbling a slurry of “i’m so sorry”s into your neck. but apologies only go so far, don’t they? he needs to correct his behavior. he needs to show you that he knows what you want from him.

“please…” he whispers, “please, mommy..”

the honorific rolls off his tongue like honey, heavy and sweet. it hangs in the air between you two and then you let out a low chuckle, “much better.”

“mommy,” he breathes out again, his erection involuntarily pulsing against your body through his clothes, “mommy, mommy, mommy—ngh“

his tone grows more desperate with each mumbling of the word; higher in pitch and more urgent. your hands move up to stroke his short blonde hair, and then you whisper into his ear.

“what do you want?”

god, what doesn’t he want? he wants your hand down his pants, your perfect cunt wrapped around his unworthy cock, your mouth, your lips, your tits. everything.

but he knows you. he knows that this is a trick question. you’re phrasing it like you’re going to give him something, a treat—a reward, but it’s a bit of a trap.

there’s a right and a wrong answer here. pick the wrong one, and he’s in for a night of painful orgasm denial (coupled with a ruined one to end the evening).

but luckily, art is smart. he knows what you want to hear.

“i.. i wanna eat mommy out.”

you pull back gently from him; and judging by the look that spreads over your face when he says that, he picked the right response.

you smile, and then your hands slide from his hair to his shoulders. in an instant, art finds himself being pushed down to the floor in front of you. he can’t help but scoot forward and shove his boner against your ankle, rutting himself into your soft skin as he dribbles precome in his briefs.

you lean back against the door, hiking up your skirt, before you’re looking down to him expectantly.

“don’t make me do all the work, baby,” you practically purr.

art’s hands scramble up your thighs to your panties, which he peels off of your sticky core with wide eyes, letting the thin fabric garment fall to pool at your heels. you giggle.

you kick them off to the side, feeling your boyfriend’s hands clutched around your legs. you sling a leg over his left shoulder, spreading your folds for him to see, and he wastes no time in parting his lips and engulfing your heat with his mouth.

you groan, letting your head loll back, and you move your fingers wander to the back of his hair once more to push his face further against you. you grind on his eager tongue, feeling him flick it over your clit as he whimpers and suckles. what a slut.

his baby blues look up to you with weighted lids, lapping at your cunt like it’s something he’s been starved of for years. his pupils dilate intensely as he stares up at you like you’re a god; something holy and unreal. and when you shake over his mouth’s ministrations, getting close, he lets out a long, drawn-out whine into your core.

he’s murmuring something that sends vibrations up your spine from the coil deep in your gut. it’s hard to make anything out when he’s drowning in you and loving it, but you can decipher bits and pieces.

“please, mommy”

“come in my mouth, mommy”

“give it all to me, mommy”

“i can take it, mommy”

you’re everything he’s ever dreamt about. you bend his perception of time and space and reason and logic. how could a sweet, beautiful, young thing like you ever want a washed-up, older athlete like him?

he prays that you don’t only like him for his money, and then he closes his eyes and mouths at your sensitive bud. he drools all over it like a sick dog, his brows pinching up as he moans out incoherent pleas for you to finish.

and holy fuck, you come hard.

a strangled cry jolts out of you as your back arches, mixing with a helpless sob from art, and then you absolutely soak his tongue with your juices. it gushes all over his face and he swallows as fast as he can; hell, he nearly chokes on it.

“ffffuck! art! oh my god, good boy, good boy, such a good boy!”

you rock over him until your orgasm recedes, and you pull his head back from you shakily by your tender hold on his hair. strings of your slick cling to the lower half of his face and the tip of his nose; a lewd squelch echoing out as he’s forcefully disconnected from your body. a dazed smile graces your lips and you peer down to watch as art’s hips shake against the hardwood floor and a dark stain appears at the front of his sweats. it’s a pathetic sight, really.

but you watch him moan softly and keep his gaze trained on you as he wipes his chin messily with the back of his hand.

“was i good?” he whispers, like he’ll cry if you say no.

he needs to hear you say it when he’s not lost in the throes of your climax.

your chest is still heaving while you try to slow your labored breaths, but you lean down anyways and meet his lips with yours. you taste yourself on his tongue. he shudders and winces.

you pull back, your bottom lip brushing his.

“so good, baby..”

art kisses the corner of your mouth softly, just once. he’s melting into you.

he loves you. but he swallows that down for now. he opts to murmur out something that’ll sum up everything he feels in a more palatable manner. something that makes him seem less desperate to keep you all to himself for as long as you can tolerate him.

something that he’s earnestly dying to say.

something that he knows you deserve to hear.

“thank you.”

[aria-greenhoodie]

Have some meme redraws of the radioactive old man yaoi ft. my Human Bill design again‼️

Click for Quality!

[kandavers]

my dilf fukuzawa plsplsplspls (i am sane)

is this anything

[cable-salamder]

So anyways the reason I talked abt Ronin is because I binge watched Possession again and I realized. I have never drawn this bastard man. So here’s that (ignore that I didn’t add his hat it was annoying me)

+ me remembering that the Dobson brothers are all VAs that act in Ninjago as completely different characters and how much funnier certain dialogue gets with that context.

[overcrowded-camp]

the weirdest thing about the general astarion discourse in the bg3 fandom is that he does actually suck. and astarion fans seem to forget this all the time but he sucks ass. he’s a shitty guy. he’s lame and a loser and rude and kind of stupid and a bad person if you let him get away with it. that’s why i like him.

maybe it’s the blorbo glasses that make people forget about it or maybe it’s the infantilization of grown adults who’ve been traumatized but i see so much fighting about him that boils down to “he’s a shitty person!”/“no he isn’t, he was tortured for 200 years!”. and the answer is that he was a shitty person, got beaten half to death, and then got tortured for 200 years. he sucks and is also a victim. can we fight about something more interesting please.

[rystiel]

idk what we’re all calling the concept of fiddlestan working together but i’m calling my version the portal partners AU 🙏🏼