#but I’m so sick of hearing ‘if you EVER fuck guys you’re not gay’

[housewifebuck]

I thought you were a lesbian

Still don't know if you are

Don't ask me why I thought this

I just kinda saw you and just went LESBIAN 🫵

PLEAAEHEKDHDKDJ this is so fucking funny. Everybody I’ve ever met in my life has clocked me a mile away

[patchiko]

comic!jason todd x m!indie rock singer/guitarist reader

cold weather - glass beach

1:08 ──⚬──── 2:18

⇆ ◃◃ ıı ▹▹ ↻

🪐⁠☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ warnings ; sfw (none)

…

🪐⁠☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ contents ; hc’s totally not based off glass beach lyrics haha thats so cheesy whaat lololo…

I love the way you make me feel when I’m staring at my screen.

At 4AM, trying not to fall asleep

And you hit me up just to see if I’m OK

JASON TODD CODED SOOO BAAADD

literally how the crushes form for both sides

jason has like an inner psyche where he just fuckin knows when youre awake

if you ask him he’ll probably say something stupid like ‘i can hear your (guitar)/(voice)’ and he’s nowhere around you

and his heart throbs whenever you two stay texting for waayy tooooo loonggg, starts cheesing and shit

NEERRRDD

average jason todd text

When I keep you up sending Mamegoma Lines

You know it's shit like that that makes me wanna be alive

JASON TODD CODED LINE. CANON CANON.

he responds through his helmet while he’s kicking ass

it gets so common to a point where he ends up having a full blown convo w/ you using those stupid fuckin stickers

bug him late at night !!

he’ll tell you to gts but he’d be lying if he says it doesn’t make his heart melt when u send him these little fucks.

So I'll call in sick again just to spend the day with you

100% he’ll call a day off to hang with you

whether its showing up to your show then hitting a bar, 100%,

i need jason todd in a relationship where he just drops everything for his s/o,

fuck the mission!! he wants to listen to those fucking vocals for an hour or you shredding ur guitar!!

he’s fucking around in an arcade with you till 11pm

hes a little ass at mario kart, better with motorcycle games,

BRING HIM TO ANY SHOOTER ONES WHERE U HOLD THE GUN AND UR GETTING WAAAASHHHEDD.

he has the most fun with the halo ones or the walking dead ones

weirdly good at the multiplayer pacman games

AMAZING AT GALAXIA ILL DIE ON THIS HILLL

Wanna say I think it's so gay that we really both feel the same way

That I feel like we're more than just friends

It took too long to realize

I didn't miss the cold weather, I just missed you

Jason was never homophobic and or totally against the idea of him being gay

i dont think he was ever in a gay relationship b4 you two

bc most of the vigilante guys he met were trying to fight him or absolute dick heads,

n’ most of the male figures in his life weren’t the absolute best.

so there wasn’t tooo much room for crushing on a guy too easily

if you’d ask him abt his sexuality its smthn like ‘i think im straight but i dunno what if im not.’

heres how i think it starts ;)

you’re preforming at a bar, n’ ofc jason todd can admit when a guys cute/attractive, any guy could do that

and maybe its ur guitar or your vocals but he cant stop watching (he convinces himself its your talent which is reasonably not gay)

maybe one coincidence leads to another and you two chat and go out at times, he pulls up to your shows more.

and the whole time he thinks he’s just acknowledging that your a very attractive person,

notthin crazy to admit ya homie has mad kisssble lips after starin at them for a sec too long. lol. haha. hm.

and i think the thought really hits him when he’s out of gotham for a mission. and he’s craving your presence

he texts you but you dont respond, fuck right you have a show and the timezone difference—

n he gets fuckin, ANTSY and SAD.

he tries to smoke a cig to fuck off

but he cant stop thinking about that one night where he brings you to his favorite rooftop view of the city,

how those sly stupid jokes slip from your mouth like honey,

the way you glance at him and the moonlight on your skin

how he got that random need to just lean into your lips

and— (GAY REALIZATION PANICC) <- link

'Cause I don't need the cold weather like I need you

And I don't need the sweater weather I just need you

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na

Fuck! Hahahaha

hes unlabeled your honor.

[axelsagewrites]

Most People Say Goodbye - Part Two

Pairing: Sandor x F!Bolton!Reader

Summary: Sandor and (Y/N) have a secret relationship at kings landing which crumbles when he disappears after the battle of blackwater. Eventually though your paths cross again

TW: swearing (its the hound so you could guess lol)

Requested by Annon

Words: 1699

Part One Here

Masterlist Here

Daenerys presents brought both an uneasy feeling but a strange amount of relief. Or maybe that was the alcohol everyone was clearly drowning in. as you approached the hall you could hear the laughter, the talking, the joy. You only wished you could partake as well but you had to find Sandor.

You had barely entered the hall when Jon had called you over. Your eyes scanned for Sandor as you approached the top table, but you couldn’t see him. “Hey Jon,” you greeted him and he stood to hug you. “I’m glad you made it back in one piece.”

“All thanks to her. (Y/N) meet Daenerys,” Jon grinned.

You did the basic formalities, not really caring about a foreign queen right now but not as upset as Sansa appeared to be. You could see the annoyance seeping out of Sansa the longer you spoke to the dragon queen so finally when you saw a gap in conversation you pardoned yourself.

“Thank gods you managed to escape her,” Sansa whispered as you sat beside her.

You elbowed the girl, “Look im all down for whatever bitch fit you wanna have,” you said, “but can you tell me how much you hate the girl your brothers clearly fucking *after* you tell me where the hell Sandor is?”

“Your right im sorry,” she said giving you a sympathetic smile, “I saw him sitting with some of the wildlings. That giant guy. Not the giant giant the-“

“The guy who apparently got nursed by one? Yeah that’s Tormund,” You had become friends with many of the wildlings when they first arrived as you tended to their wounded and sick. Tormund was one of the ones you grew closest too. “Sometimes he makes me wonder if Jon is secretly gay,”

Sansa looked out into the crowd, “Yeah, I get what you mean,” you looked out to where she was staring to see the hound sitting by Tormund. Tormund was talking at Sandor will he clearly only cared about his stew and ale. “They’d be cute together. In a weird way. But enough about Jon and me and the dragon woman. You’re here for him, aren’t you?”

You sighed as you stared at him suddenly feeling as small as a bug. “Yeah,” you whispered, “I don’t think I can do it,”

“You can and you will. We have survived so much (Y/N) don’t let him break you,” Sansa took your hands, “and if he’s does anything to offend you in any way I will get the knights of the vale to take care of him,”

“Damn you’ve gotten mean,”

“Can you blame me? He hurt you (Y/N) and I never want to see you hurt again,”

“If only life was that simple,” you looked back to where Sandor sat but this time your eyes met. His mouth was agape and he looked sadder than you had ever seen. Your heart ached but you knew you had to go to him, “Its time I guess,”

“Good luck,” Sansa squeezed your hands and slowly you rose from your chair, smoothed out your dress, and walked through the tables and chairs until you stood in front of him.

“(Y/N)! Have you come to hear of our adventure?” Tormund bellowed as you approached.

You smiled at him, “Later Tormund. Can I borrow you Sandor?” he was already on his feet before you could finish your sentence. He just stood looking at you. You looked at him. “Could we talk?”

Sandor nodded and you started to walk away with him following behind you. Neither said a word. You weren’t really sure where to go not feeling comfortable with him in your room but also not wanting anyone to hear. You decided to stop as you approached the main courtyard where the Stark boys used to train. You missed watching them.

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you let yourself have one last moment before you would have to use all your strength to keep your temper in check. You turned around and broke the silence, “So,”

“So…” the silence quickly returned, “I missed- “Sandor went to speak but you stopped him.

“Why did you leave?” it was all you really wanted to know but he had no answer, “You didn’t even say goodbye,” you tried your best not to cry but you couldn’t stop your eyes growing wetter.

“I’m sorry,”

“I need a reason,” you said as your sadness turned to anger, “I need a reason an explanation I need to know why you left me. I deserve to know,”

“I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t mean to leave you,” Sandor tried to approach but you moved back. He stopped and sighed, “I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking. There was fire. So much fucking fire. Even the water was on fire. The men coming after me were all on fire and all I could see was that cunts face,” you knew he was talking about his brother. He didn’t even like going near the fire in your chambers when he visited, “and I froze. A fucking squire had to save me. Then all of a sudden im back behind the wall and that fucking imp tries to tell me to go back and I thought fuck it. it was all I was thinking. Fuck the lot of them. So, I left,”

“But why didn’t you take me with you? I would’ve followed you anywhere you went,” your anger was still there but your tears had returned. You couldn’t stop the growing pit in your stomach. You meant it. anywhere he went you would’ve followed until your feet bled.

“I wanted to. I did. I went to the holdfast, but I just couldn’t go in. what was I supposed to do? Burst in and grab you? Take you on the road with me where I didn’t eat for days half the time? I didn’t want to put you through that. You deserved better,”

“Better? you think being left with that cunt of a king was better!” you shouted not caring who heard, “You saw what he did when you were there did you think he’d go easier on me? Pity me? Did he fuck,”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know what I was thinking,”

“I don’t know either! You have no clue what I went through after you left. Baelish snuck me out of that castle before Joffrey could kill me only for me to land at my brother’s doorstep half-starved but that was sunshine compared to what Ramsey was like,” your voice was laced with venom and your eyes dripping tears. “And the worst part is the whole fucking time all I could think about was you,”

“All I could think about was you too,” this time Sandor caught your arms and didn’t let go, “you think I didn’t try and find you? I did. I heard you escaped and I headed north instantly. I even took that Arya girl with me because I knew what she meant to you. And trust me she’s fucking more annoying than you,” you chuckled at that. You loved her like a sister but she could be insufferable at times. Your laugh brought a slight smile to his face, “And as soon as I ran into Jon I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to go with him because he was the only chance I had of finding you again,”

“You wouldn’t have had to find me if you hadn’t have left in the first place,” you whispered.

“I know,” he whispered back, his head hanging low, “I hate myself every damn day for leaving you. I would kill any one of those bastards who hurt you then I realised im one of them. And I will never forgive myself for what I did to you,”

You could tell he was sincere. Sandor was rarely ever this emotional. Even when he told you what his brother did to him and what happened to his sister he never cried. But tears began to fall from his eyes.

You took his face in your hands and for once he didn’t flinch when you touched his scar. “I forgive you,” you said pressing your forehead against his, “but if you ever leave me again- “

“Never, never ever,” he said pulling you closer, “I will never leave your side.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise,” he replied and for the first time in years you leaned up and kissed him.

It was so soft at first you almost melted into his touch. One of his hands found your waist while the other softly held your jaw. Yours fell to his shoulders then around his neck for stability. You felt your feet lift off the ground as he straightened his back bringing his other hand back down to your waist. After a brief pause for air his lips returned to yours, this time with a deep desperation you had both been holding in for years.

Then of course someone had to come along and wolf whistle. Sandor released you from his grip however he quickly grabbed your hand. You turned to see Sansa and Jon standing by the edge of the court yard.

“Can you two not fuck in the courtyard?” Sansa said as she tried to hide her smile.

Jon’s face screwed up, “Don’t be weird Sansa she’s basically our sister,”

“Where can we fuck then?” Sandor asked and you couldn’t help but laugh at Jon’s face. Sandor grinned, “Sorry lad but you’ll have to get used to it. I’ll marry her first if you fetch me a maester though,”

Your head snapped towards him, “You’ll marry me?” you beamed.

“Of course, will marry you, you idiot. I promised I wouldn’t leave didn’t I?” you pulled him back in for another kiss much to Jon’s dismay who quickly stalked away, Sansa following behind laughing. You pulled back once Jon left, “Now where the fuck are your chambers?” he asked.

You took his hand, “Follow me,” and with that you two disappeared back to your chambers not to leave them for the next two days.

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

Can I go on a bit of a rant here?

I’ve heard other people talk about this but I think about it a lot so I figured I’d join the discussion. I’m a gay trans man who came out as gay only a year or 2 ago but I’ve dated a few men. Feel free to add your 2 cents if you’re also gay or just male loving. Any homophobia and/or hate will be deleted and blocked. Now here’s my rant lol

-

I have really bad internalized homophobia

like I keep thinking I’d be better as a cis lesbian or at least as a straight guy

like, why can’t I just be a normal dude and like girls? Why did I have to like guys?

Everybody says girls are better and guys are trash. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me that I don’t feel that way for girls

I’m proud of my identity, don’t get me wrong. But, still.

I know the joke “men are trash, I feel bad for you.” It’s funny and I make those jokes too, but that can really fuck up me and some others

it makes me feel like I should be ashamed of liking them and setting myself up for a lifetime of heartbreak. It feels like it would be easier to just date a girl and not get my heart broken, even if I’m not happy. it’s not that I feel like I’m a freak and feel like I have to change my identity or again but sometimes I think I should have stayed a straight girl and not stand out so much, as miserable as that was. I don’t feel like I’m disgusting or anything, I just feel like I shouldn’t like guys and have to pretend I don’t sometimes.

“Women are goddesses and men are trash” is all I ever hear. I feel like I’m sick, sick for feeling that for men and not women. i understand the men are trash joke, but eventually it stops being funny and starts being hurtful.

i just wish I was more “normal” sometimes. Everyone would be happier if I just married a woman because if I’m a man that’s more “normal”.

I’ve dated guys but mostly girls flirt with me. Maybe life would be easier if I had a girlfriend and didn’t constantly chase men that don’t want me. I’m pretty confident I don’t like women and I love men, but sometimes my mommy issues and internalized misogyny get in my head and tell me I should like women

I mean I know the whole point of being queer is that we’re not normal and fit outside the box. I’m proud of being queer, I really am. Just sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Same thing with being trans, I wish I was a cis guy and don’t have to fight for my identity so much. Espically in todays world

-

I wrote this awhile ago and don’t really feel like this anymore but… I still have a feeling that I like women but I think that’s more because i feel like I have to than I actually do

I think that’s a bit too much ranting for me but let me know what you all think. I may or may not revise this at a later date but I feel like since it’s pride month it’s perfect time to open discussion to topics like this. Any mlm or nblm feel free to add your thoughts to this.

love you all, thanks for reading my madness haha

[bastardizedbitching]

i’ve read two novels tonight it’s 3:31 am as i’m typing this if there’s a higher power fucking with us and running things down here i am staring at you and giving you the middle finger. i will become immortal using mcdonald’s preservatives and start slowly destroying the universe in seemingly innocent, harmless ways until everything we know is no longer recognizable and you will be left wondering how you lost control and the answer is ME BITCH. then i’ll make you into a giant egg eternals style and force you to die and recreate the universe but better because unlike you i don’t make the dominant species in a small pocket of my universe fucking ruin lives for shits and giggles. if there’s multiple people involved in running this shitshow i’ll do it chain reaction style everyone has to explode at the right time in order to make the new universe. and magic will be real and there will be a lot more good shit in the universe like FOOD. omigod food is so awesome. and the food won’t affect anyone’s health negatively which would be like. so sick. all of this will happen in a riverdale style plot where everything becomes more and more non sensical over time and you slowly go insane from the sheer weirdness of what is happening until you’re more insane than that guy in the mind electric. big mood honestly man sometimes you just need to sail out to your death that’s respectable goals. less respectable that you did this for your girlfriend but whatever romance is fine. kind of overused plot line whoever is writing this universe sucks at writing. change it up a little bit why aren’t enough people making musical masterpieces about that star trek shit huh. make a goddamn musical masterpiece album about those star trek concepts and then we have something new. or maybe here’s a better idea since there so much lovey dovey shit in there let there be music and let the music have GAY SEX where they are FUCKING RAW. as a certified singer bastard that’s a amazing concept. all these allo sexual folks describing the sex sounds and i have no idea what the fuck they are but if you have them MAKE SOMETHING WITH THE SEX SOUNDS. like y’all got so much to work with and no one is doing it it’s fascinating. take that first step. it only takes one person to start a trend of interesting shit. see there’s things like this in life now we gotta add some fucking horrors too but not the dull soul-sucking horror we have here with the government and capitalism and everyone wanting someone dead. PEACE AND LOVE MY DUDES. except for cops go fuck yourselves. see the universe writers had some interesting shit with my childhood where i hallucinated for a year when i was 7 we need more of that energy. not enough people these days lose their minds over non world ending shit we don’t need another disaster. actually while i’m at it WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GOP DOING?? some people really just turn off their brains and hear the most dogshit insane lies and parrot those statements word for word. sweetheart no that’s not the way go take some benadryl see the hat man expand your worldview and realize that not everything is about what is happening with our local stupid white karen assholes THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. honestly i’m pretty sure i got drunk off our vanilla extract i chugged a bunch of that shit. for fucks sake i mean it’s vanilla it should not taste spicy when i chug it. does vanilla minecraft mean nothing to you bastards?? hey another thing universe writers ever try fucking. MAKING NICE PARENTS. should not be up to half of my friends are on cps watch. i’d like to suggest some more of that peace and love 70s hippie energy. you wrote the goddamn protests live that truth. smoke weed and live a healthy stable life. now i understand perhaps you’ve been dropped as a child. or child abandonment. or parental murder. honestly all of those seem pretty common for god backstories so WE COMMIT TO THE BIT. however, consider talking your shit out. i’ve heard yoga does wonders. or a nice cup of tea. anyways peace out commit crimes be queer and disgusting about it feel the whimsy.

[mlm-writer]

And They Were Roommates (Adrian Chase x M!Reader)

Pairing: Adrian Chase (Peacemaker ver.) x Homosexual Male Reader (trans-reader friendly) For the pride prompt: Roommate thinks he is homophobic, because gay reader kissing men on the couch angers him inexplicably much. Turns out he doesn't mind reader kissing men as long as the man whom reader is kissing is him. Rating: Mature for strong language and implied sex Words: 1732 POV: Third Summary: Adrian thought he was ok with his roommate being gay, but now he is experiencing some emotions that make him suspect he may be... homophobic.  Notes: Happy Pride! See all works for pride 2022 here. At some point Adrian picks the reader up, so this work might not be for all plus-sized readers, based on how strong you headcanon Adrian. Tags: fluff & angst, love confessions, gay awakening, Leota being tired of the emotional incompetence, reader likes to fuck, jealousy and first kiss

“Hey, just wanted to let you know. I’m gay and I might bring a guy here from time to time. Is that ok?”

It was ok. Adrian told his second best friend so 7 months ago, when they met and started being roommates. He was not homophobic; he was progressive as fuck. He did not even feel like his heterosexuality was under attack, when his roommate would flirt with him as a joke. So why did he feel sick to his stomach when he came home today and caught his roommate making out with a guy? “Oh sorry, I thought you were gonna be out until late,” his roommate told him as he stopped sticking his tongue down some random guy’s throat. Adrian told him it was ok.

However, now he was in his bedroom and even the thought of his roommate still being on the couch and kissing that other guy made him feel sick. The idea that they might have had sex earlier or were about to have sex disgusted him. However, it was not as disgusting as how he felt for even having these feelings. “Get your act together, man! I am not a homophobe!” He told himself.

A week passed by. Adrian did not see anyone besides his roommate in his house. Then he left to meet up with the 11th Street Kids and walked past a well-built man in the hallway. He had not seen him before and grew suspicious. He waited by the stairs, then heard a door open, followed by his roommate flirtatiously inviting the man inside. The stomachache returned. Adrian wanted to die of shame every time he saw a guest of his roommate arrive or leave and felt like throwing up. The shame turned into anger.

It was another one of those nights, where he was in a bad mood all shift, because he ran into another hunky dude, before leaving for work. When he opened the door, that same guy was putting his coat on. “Oh hey man, I was just leaving. Nice shirt.”

Adrian looked down, finding out he was wearing a grey shirt with a DnD reference on it. “Yeah, bet you think it would look better on you with your bulky muscles.”

“What?” “What next? You’re going to say I have nice shoes? Think you can walk better in them than I can?” “You’re not making any sense, dude…” “Fuck out of my apartment!”

The guy put his coat on faster and basically rushed out. “Jeez dude, you don’t have to be such a dick.”

When he was out, Adrian slammed the door closed behind him. “What the fuck, Adrian? Why are you such an asshole lately?” Adrian stammered, unsure of the answer. “Do you have a problem with me being gay?”

Adrian shook his head as fast as he could. “What? No! I am not a homophobe!”

“Then what is your problem man?” “I don’t like having those guys here!”

“Oh my god!” Adrian stared at his roommate shouting out in frustration. He came closer, a fire in his eyes. “You are such a hypocrite! Did you ever hear me complain when you had Chris and whatever woman here?” Adrian looked down in shame and shook his head. “Like you three were full on being all over each other in our kitchen and you can’t even be cool about a guy putting his coat on!” Adrian wished the Earth would swallow him up. He had so many emotions he could not place, but the shame; that he could place on a pedestal right now.

“I’m sorry! I swear I do not care if you sleep with men or women… or both!” “I can’t deal with you right now.”

Adrian looked with puppy dog eyes at his roommate, as the man grabbed his coat and shoved his feet into his shoes. “So you’re ok with me sleeping with whoever I want to, as long as I don’t do it here?”

Adrian felt his stomach turn, nausea bubbling up. However, he did not want to lose one of his best friends. “Whom you sleep with is none of my business, especially if you don’t sleep with them here.” Those words came out of his mouth, but each of them twisted his guts. He watched the other leave, seeming just as upset as Adrian’s stomach.

Adrian couldn’t sleep that night. He could not stop thinking about his roommate, worried about where he went. He kept his bedroom door open, ears peeled for the sound of the front door opening. No such sound came. Adrian fell asleep shortly after daylight started creeping through his blinds. When he did finally hear something from the front door, it was Chris knocking like a maniac. “Coming!” Adrian called after he had fallen off the bed and picked himself up.

The second he opened the door, he was greeted with his best friend’s charm. “You look like shit,” Chris commented, before entering. He put the bags on the table and looked around. “Where is your roommate? I brought lunch for three.” Adrian blinked the sleepiness away, then remembered he was supposed to have lunch with his roommate and Chris today.

“He uh… needed to walk the dog.” “You don’t have a dog.” “He is walking the dog of a friend.” “Well then we can wait for him, I guess.” “No! It is uh… a big dog! That needs to walk a lot, because he is so big!” “Yeah that makes sense.”

Adrian was relieved he could convince Chris to just have lunch with him. He turned on the TV, continuing the series they started during their previous hangout. Adrian caught exactly zero of what was happening on the screen, mind still occupied with his roommate. Chris did not seem to notice. The episode was finished and there was no more food left. Chris turned to him, eyes going from the door to Adrian and back. “I think your roommate might have died. No dog needs a walk that long.”

Chris already stood up to go investigate the roommate’s disappearance. Adrian stepped out in front of him, blocking his way to the door. “I lied. We fought and he ran out. I’m sorry.”

Chris crossed his arms and Adrian felt more guilt swallow him up. He did not like lying to Chris, so it was not a surprise that he could not keep up the lie for a single day. “What did you fight about?” Adrian sighed and explained the whole situation and his theory of being possibly homophobic. His best friend thought about it and then told him to call Leota.

“Peacemaker, for fuck’s sake, can you at least not get yourself into trouble on our day off?” She answered the phone.

“It’s not me, it’s Vig. It’s an emergency.” And with those words he poked Adrian in his side. Adrian stared at the phone that was on his countertop, the speaker button selected.

“It’s always something with you boys…” “Leota, I think I might be homophobic.” “That’s the emergency?” “Please, I cannot live like this!”

Leota sighed and told him to do his story and do it quickly. Adrian told her about his roommate and how they had a great friendship that had been on eggshells lately. He told her about the rage and the sick feeling in his stomach. When he was done, he heard Leota sigh again, more exasperated now. “You’re not homophobic, you fucking idiot.” Adrian sighed in relief. “You’re jealous.”

Adrian took a moment to consider it. “What? No! I’m not jealous? Why would I be jealous? Sure, he has much more sex than I do, but…” “Not of the sex! God, do I need to spell it out? You’re in love with your roommate. Now go do something about it and don’t call me again. I have a wife to spend time with.”

She hung up, leaving Adrian with many, many thoughts. Chris started laughing. “Dude! You’re… oh my god that’s so funny!” Adrian couldn’t laugh. “Dude, you’re gay! Just like your dad!”

Adrian’s roommate came home eventually. Adrian had to sit with his thoughts, churn his feelings like butter and taste the bitterness in his mouth. It took some days, until they could hold a normal conversation again, but the friendliness between them had simmered down to a cold tolerance for one another. Adrian could not live like this, so he called off from work one night and cornered his roommate in their kitchen.

“Don’t you have to work?” “I’m in love with you.”

He did not mean to blurt it out like that, but he had enough time to think about it all. Their friendship was doomed without the truth. He felt like he would die if he had to see his roommate with another man again.

“I fucking knew it!” His roommate responded, the wave of his hand knocking over the saucepan on the stove. Its contents poured down to the floor, the man not quick enough to stop the boiling sauce from pouring over his bare feet. He screamed in pain and Adrian picked him up right away like he weighed nothing, running to the bathroom. Adrian sat his roommate down on the edge of the bathtub and grabbed the showerhead. He worked quickly to get lukewarm water over his roommate’s feet, washing away the sauce and soothing the burn. “Thank you,” the other muttered sheepishly.

Adrian then realised what he was doing, noticing how he had his arm swung around his roommate, noticing how the man was clinging onto him as well. He had no words, just a nod. There was no exchange of words, until Adrian had his roommate on the couch and he was crouching in front of it, bandaging up the burns, so the soothing cream he put on was not going to stain their couch and floor. “I’m sorry. I took all those men here to get you jealous. I should just have talked with you.”

Adrian finished up and kissed the man’s knee. “Well your strategy worked, so I am not mad about it, but… Could you maybe not do that anymore?” The man laughed and nodded his head, pulling Adrian up on the couch with him.

“On one condition.” Adrian’s eyebrows neared his hairline. “Kiss me.” His brows fell as he smiled and leaned in. They had a deal.

Please reblog to trick your local writer into writing more content for you to enjoy.

[gayfanservice]

My good gremlin as a fellow gremlin I'd like to make a request because it is definitely a very gay kinda day (every day is really),

Consider Tsukishima Kei with a crush on the smartest guy in class, like he gets superior grades beats Tsukki on every test (or at least ties) and instead of like being all bashful about it Tsukishima (ever the salty little rat) just torments his crush calls em nerd and smartass and the like ya feel me?

Hmmmm, I do I do

Tsukishima being a little shit, reader is a little shit, enemies to lovers 😳? Jkjk…. Unless 😳?

*********

Tsukishima smirked as he got his test back, seeing the ‘95%’ at the top of his page. “Wow, Tsukki, you got 95! I only got a 70…” Yamaguchi slumped in his seat before looking over, “(L/N), what did you get?” Tsukishima gritted his teeth as you answered, “Got a hundred.” You said, showing Yamaguchi your page with the ‘100%’ in black ink. You quickly smirked at Tsukishima before looking away, making sure Yamaguchi wouldn’t see you taunting his best friend. The bell rang, signaling lunch has started. Tsukishima packed his bag and stood up, “Aw, Tsukki you didn’t get perfect? Better luck next time.” You waved your wrist at him, “Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand nerd.”

He gritted his teeth as he walked away, Yamaguchi and (unfortunately) you following after him. You all sat in a empty room with your lunches, Yamaguchi sitting beside Tsukishima and you in front of Yamaguchi. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be, smart ass?” He sneered, “Tsukki!” Yamaguchi couldn’t believe you were going to fight (fight was an overstatement, more like a squabble between two toddlers) again, “Oh, but if I do who am I going to compare scores to? No ones as smart as you,” You held your head in your hands at you smiled at him, smile turning wider when you saw the faint pink color. “I’m sure lots of people would want to talk to you, you nerds tend to get along well.”

He defended himself turning away from you and focusing on his lunch, “Is that why we get along so well? Maybe we should date!” You said. You stood up, hearing the bell ring over the sound of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima coughing. “Welp, that’s my queue! See you later!” “You bastard,”

——————

“Hey, nerd.” You hummed, not looking up from the book you were reading. “Only nerds read books in class,” He sat down in his seat, “Is that why you’re so fucking stupid?” You cackled to yourself, “Listen here you little-” “Tsukki! (L/N)! Glad to see you’re not fighting for once,” Yamaguchi sat down, looking relieved that his two friends were getting along. “We’re the best of friends, right, Tsukki?” He grinned at you, “I don’t know, you tell me, nerd.” You looked at Yamaguchi, “Well, you heard the man. I’m Tsukki’s new best friend!” You and Yamaguchi laughed, “No, that-” “Good morning, class.” ‘Shit.’

——————

You sat in your seat, scrolling through your phone for something interesting to pop up. You heard noise and looked over to see Tsukishima sit down, Yamaguchi no where to be seen. You waited. ‘Nothing?’ You thought as you looked over at him, seeing his headphones on. “No name calling today, huh?” You said, glancing up and only getting a hum for a reply. You huffed, “Soooo, where’s Yamaguchi?” “Sick,” “Ah,” God, this was more tormenting than anything he’s ever done to you, and he once spilled milk on your homework! You were both 14, you tried holding against him but every time you think back to that moment you can only think about how cute he was when he was mad you were the ‘class pet’.

You slumped down in your seat, tapping your fingers against the desk as the tick of the clock was the only you heard. You looked over, going to say something before you made eye contact with him, which he quickly looked away pretending he was looking at his phone. You smiled, “Your phone is off.” You heard him whisper “Shit!” before quietly laughing to yourself, seeing his ears go red and laughing a bit louder. “Shut up, I wasn’t staring!” He whispered-yelled, “I didn’t say anything,” you put your hands up before quickly covering your mouth with a snort, seeing Tsukishima’s mortified face that he just outed himself. Your laughter came to an end and you leaned over, “Y’know, Tsukki, you ain’t half bad.”

*********

Two gremlins sitting in the dms, five miles apart cause they’re in a pandemic!

[rainiishowers]

Obey Me Incorrect Quotes Part 2

A/N: Seen people liking my first one again so I thought why not make another! All of these are from the various incorrect quote generators I have saved ------------ Lucifer:  I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you! Belphegor:  And I’m trying to avoid it --- Asmodeus:  Where are your shoes?! MC: The mud puddle demanded a sacrifice. --- Lucifer:  Ugh, what happened to me last night? Solomon:  The posion berries made you think you had special powers and could talk to frogs. Lucifer Thank Diavolo I don't remember any of that.. Diavolo: Good thing we got it all on camera! --- Lucifer:  WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- MC:  It was me… Lucifer: …Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance. Satan: I SMELL FAVOURTISM! --- Barbatos, looking at the camera: Ever since Young Master learned about twitter lingo from MC and Asmodeus, he has been using it nonstop Diavolo:  Oop, sis been called out! The tea is scorching! Lucifer, almost in tears:  Please, make him stop. --- MC:  I wish I was a caterpillar Leviathan: Ok yes, but explain MC: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, then wake up beautiful Satan: You know they only have a lifespan of like,, two weeks right? MC: That's just another perk Everyone else: nO- --- Luke: You can't just drink tea, take a nap, and expect your problems to disappear! Mammon, climbing into bed: haha what?? Can't hear you over all this self care MC: Seriously Mammon, Luke's right, although I am glad you’re taking care of yourself- Mammon:  *puts sleep mask on* --- Solomon: Skeletons aren't scary!! Solomon: We're filled with this pulsing oozing, meat and y'all think the skeletons are scary? Solomon: THE MEAT IS SCARY!! THE M E A T! MC: So how much sleep has Sol gotten? Simeon: He haven't slept since Tuesday --- MC’s friend: How long are you going to stand here and let him do that? MC: Give him a minute. Mammon: *pushing a door that obviously says 'pull'* --- Asmodeus: Go tell MC they're cute! What's the worst that could happen? Leviathan: They could hear me. --- Satan: Country gnomes Belphegor: Take my bones Beelzebub: To a place, they don't belonggg? Lucifer: That's it, you guys lost campfire song privileges --- Satan: I poisoned someone's drink but I forget which one. Lucifer: yoU DID WHAT??!! Belphegor: With the way this dinner has been going, I hope it's mine. Mammon: *chugs the rest of his drink* --- Asmodeus: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Solomon: Solomon: I like you. --- Simeon: Truth or dare? Barbatos: ..Truth? Diavolo: How many hours have you slept this week? Barbatos: Barbatos: Dare. Simeon: Go to bed. Barbatos: I don’t like this game. --- MC: Though I admit I don’t know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck. Belphegor: ..Who told you? --- Belphegor: You are the best twin I could ever ask for and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Beelzebub: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and took care of yourself Belphegor: I said within reason, Beel. How about I murder that guy? Beelzebub: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Belphegor: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

[mizunetzu]

iwaizumi finding out hes gay and having an extreme gay panic when they get their new manager in aoba johsai and the team teases him to hell and back for it (iwaizumi x male manager!)

Nice to see you again, boke saiikai~~ also look at iwa freak out in this gif AHAHAHA

——————

Iwaizumi x reader - Iwa-chan, Panic!

⚠️warnings - none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Iwaizumi lazily scratched the itch on his stomach, not caring that his shirt was slightly lifted up and people could see his stomach if they looked. Eh, it’s not like people were around anyways.

He was already running late to practice, so he might as well reserve his energy and take a detour to the gym. It’s not like anything important was happening anyways.

“Yo.” Iwaizumi yawned, pushing the door to the gymnasium open. He slipped through, only now realizing that no one answered his greeting. He also noticed everyone was gathered into a loose semi-circle, apparently looking at something Iwaizumi couldn’t quite make out.

“What's...goin’ on guys?” Iwaizumi neared the huddle of Seijoh volleyball players. Matsukawa turned around, seemingly the only one who heard Iwaizumi in the first place. Mattsun nudged his head towards the middle of the circle, the clearing, where someone was standing.

“New manager.”

Iwaizumi’s ears perked up. Oikawa was complaining about ‘having at least one manager before he graduates’ but also ‘one that’s not one of my fangirls, because they wouldn’t take good care of the team.’ As insensitive as it sounded, having a manager drool and follow Oikawa for the majority of practice instead of doing their job does sound pretty frustrating. Iwaizumi scratched his head.

“Don’t tell me Shittykawa finally found a girl who doesn’t fawn over him.”

Matsukawa shook his head.

“Not girl.” He pointed to the boy standing there awkwardly, moving out of the way slightly so Iwaizumi could see. “It’s a boy.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes trailed from his feet, up to his firm-looking torso, and trailing around his nice-looking arms and hands. He couldn’t help himself from checking this dude out. Maybe he was just curious as to why this boy joined as a manager and not a player-

Iwaizumi’s eyes finally met the boy's glass-like (e/c) ones. He realized now that as he stared at this boy's mesmerizing eyes, his own (e/c) eyes began to stare back at him. Stare with his eyes growing wide, a cute doe-like expression on his face. But all he could see was his breathtaking, iridescent eyes.

“Uh, earth-to-(L/n)-chan?” Oikawa, who was standing next to ‘(L/n)’, waved his hand in front of his deer-in-the-headlights-face. He visibly jumped, blinking a bit, and turned his head quickly, pretending he was staring at Oikawa the whole time.

However, it wasn’t the same for Iwaizumi. He continued to stare with his mouth parted slightly, absolutely mesmerized by this guy’s handsome face. It seemed so...holdable. Like he wanted to walk up to him and hold his face in his callused hands and just...stand there. Forever. Squishing his cute face in his hands.

Cute? Cute? No. No. No. Not cute. Iwaizumi Hajime was not finding a man cute. No, not in a million years.

So why was his heart pounding in his ears so much?

His heart wouldn’t calm down. His everything wouldn’t calm down. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the new manager boy in front of him, immersing himself in conversation with a blush to shake off the fact he was totally staring back. He couldn’t help but feel confused. For once, he felt jealous of Oikawa. Not because he wanted to be popular or stalked by fangirls or anything, but because this boy’s full attention would be on him, and not Shitty-Crappy-Stupidkawa.

Matsukawa snapped his fingers in front of Iwaizumi’s face, smirking when he threw his head back in surprise with the reddest face he’s ever seen him with. Iwaizumi blinked, blankly, trying to process what just happened, before somehow exploding into a deeper shade of red.

“Are you sick or something?” Matsukawa placed the back of his hand on Iwaizumi’s forehead jokingly. “Oh. Nevermind.”

“Wh...I-I...huh..?”

“You’re just gay.” Matsukawa wiped his hand on his practice shirt. “Super gay. Super highschool level gay. You were totally checking out Manager-kun there.”

Iwaizumi grabbed Matsukawa by the collar, shaking him around in hopes of shaking the truth out of him.

“I-I’m not!”

“First symptom: denial.”

“Shut up-!”

“E-excuse me…?” Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks. Matsukawa was one second away from bursting out into cackles at Iwaizumi’s impossibly pale face. They both slowly craned their necks towards the foreign voice. Iwaizumi suddenly forgot how to breathe.

He, ‘Manager-kun’, seemed more utterly breathtaking up close. He was standing right infront of Iwaizumi, looking directly at him with his attractive (e/c) eyes. He didn’t even realize when Matsukawa wormed out of his grasp.

“(L/n)-san, good afternoon.” Matsukawa bowed slightly. “My name’s Matsukawa Issei, by the way. Thank you again for being our manager. We look forward to working with you.”

“Ah...thank you.”

When Matsukawa looked back at Iwaizumi, expecting him to introduce himself, he caught Iwaizumi staring at him with goo-goo eyes and an equally confused, frozen-stiff expression from Manager-kun himself. They stared at each other, one from awkward silence and the other from pure, unadulterated gayness. Matsukawa rolled his eyes.

“Dude!” Matsukawa jabbed Iwaizumi in the side, making him snap out of his trance with a grunt. “Don’t be rude, introduce yourself to Manager-kun!”

Iwaizumi broke into a cold sweat. He turned back to ‘Manager-kun’, attempting to look as cool as possible.

“Y-yo...the name’s Iwaizumi HaJIMe-” Iwaizumi’s voice did not want to be on his side today. The betrayers that were his vocal cords cracked mid sentence, making Iwaizumi cough horrendously in hopes of covering it up. Mattsun looked like he was going to die holding in his laughter.

“Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-kun,” Manager-kun grasped his hand in his own, and held it for a moment. “My name’s (L/n) (Y/n).”

He, (Y/n), flashed a small, friendly smile, and Iwaizumi was taken. With the way (Y/n) held his hand so tenderly, he could probably faint. He’d rather die than let go. It was so warm, his hands were so warm. God, he felt so soft inside.

“...Y’know, if you aren't feeling well, I can take you to the nurse’s office-”

“No-! It’s-it’s fine! I’m fine!” Iwaizumi sputtered, and he silently whined when (Y/n) pulled his hand back. He stepped back, and gave a small wave.

“That’s good, Iwaizumi-kun. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. See you later, Matsukawa-kun. Iwaizumi-kun.” (Y/n) smiled again, and left to introduce himself to another teammate. Once (Y/n) was out of earshot, Matsukawa erupted into a fit of cackles.

“Pfft-ahahahahaha! Dude! Y-you-! Ahahahaha! You need to chill man! At this point everyone’s gonna know you went all-“ Mattsun mimicked Iwaizumi’s wide-eyed expression, bringing his hands together and pretending he was a moe schoolgirl. “Kyaaah! (L/n)-senpai is soooo handsome!”

“SHUUUUUT UPPPPPP!” Iwaizumi started kicking at Matsukawa’s shins and hitting his back, trying to silence his cackles and hope (Y/n) didn’t hear that. Or see the huge red blush on his cheeks.

Oikawa side-eyed Iwaizumi and Matsukawa from the net pole. His hands were still moving on setting up the net for practice, but his eyes were examining the two fellow third years roughhousing with each other. More specifically, the red that engulfed Iwaizumi’s face. Oikawa turned his attention back to the pole.

——

‘Just do it!’

Those three words played on repeat in Iwaizumi’s mind for the past 2 weeks. And they seemed to get louder when Iwaizumi arrived to practice.

‘Just do it, Hajime!’

‘No!’ Iwaizumi thought back to himself, watching as (Y/n) greeted everyone who came through the club room door. He was standing outside, holding a box with supplies stuffed in it. Iwaizumi dreadfully neared the club room.

‘Do it! Now!’

‘No! Fuck no!’

“Ah! Hello again, Iwaizumi-kun-“

“No!” Iwaizumi blurted out. He was quick to cover his mouth, but the look of confusion that knitted (Y/n’s) face was enough to tell he had heard Iwaizumi loud and clear.

“Uh. I mean. Good mor-uh good afternoon, (L/n). Sorry bout’ that.” Iwaizumi trudged into the club room as nonchalantly as he could. But once the door closed, he slumped down to his knees.

“Something wrong, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa mused, slipping on his blue practice shirt over his head. “You look like shit.”

“Y-you’re one to talk, Shittykawa! Go die!”

“Uuu! How mean! Mean Iwa-chan!”

“Yeah yeah.” Iwaizumi hastily slipped into his practice clothes. Oikawa watched his face closely. It was redder than usual.

“Hey, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi looked up from his knee pads, halting temporarily as he threaded them through his leg. “Mm?”

Oikawa opened his mouth, then glanced to the door where (Y/n) was standing outside of. Not yet. He didn’t have enough evidence yet.

“Never mind.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head cutely.

——

Iwaizumi slumped down on the steps of the gym, heaving like he ran 13 miles. Well, he did. He watched as everyone came trickling back, Oikawa yelling praise as they all collapsed in front of the gym. Training runs across the block were tough. Especially after an exhausting practice match against each other.

“Good job, everyone!” Oikawa clasped his hands together. “Get some water, go rest, do whatever! We’re gonna do some serving and receiving practices, then we can take a break!”

The tuckered-out team choursed out a “Yessir!” before scattering about and doing their own things. Iwaizumi let his head loll back onto the concrete steps he was sitting on, closing his eyes and catching his unsteady breath.

“Iwaizumi-kun!”

Iwaizumi jolted up harshly, a blush adorning his features as his eyes snapped open. (Y/n) looked down at him with a small white towel in his hand and a water bottle in the other.

“I figured you needed some water or something so-I got you some stuff-!” (Y/n) promptly set the things down on Iwaizumi’s lap, though he’s not sure he noticed with the way he was staring at him so...strangely. Huh, that’s been happening for a while now.

Iwaizumi’s dazed look suddenly dissipated, his consciousness coming back to his eyes as he fumbled for the items slipping from his lap.

“Oh! Thank you...dude…! You’re…you’re...cool...f-for that…!”

Iwaizumi shot finger guns at his (Y/n). His crush. Fucking finger guns. He wouldn’t mind if he took his finger guns and shoved it so far up his a-

“It’s no problem!” (Y/n) shot finger guns back, before flexing an arm and patting his bicep. “It’s what a manager is for! Makin’ sure you boys are alright.”

“I’m gonna go fill up some more water bottles...l stopped and filled one up for you first because you looked thirsty…”

(Y/n) ran off. “See you!” He called from a distance, before disappearing from sight. Iwaizumi waved back with a blank expression on his face.

His legs felt like jelly. Not only because he ran 13 miles non-stop, but because of how whipped he became for manager-kun (Y/n) in the span of only a week or two.

Oikawa hummed to himself knowingly, watching Iwaizumi slump back onto the concrete steps with a hand in his heart.

——

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!”

“No! No! No!”

“But why?!” Oikawa exasperatedly yelled, dramatically blocking the door leading outside the club room. It was just him, Iwa-chan, Mattsun, and Makki. Makki and Mattsun sat on the floor of the club room like they were expecting Iwaizumi to come in, and from the way they didn’t try to stop Oikawa from blocking the door, they knew the same things he did.

“Let me out shithead!” Iwaizumi clawed at Oikawa’s arms. Oikawa, as twinkish and childish as he seems, was actually stronger than he looked.

Eventually, Iwaizumi stepped back to take a breather. Matsukawa and Hanamaki took that as their chance to secure him, as Hanamaki grabbed Iwaizumi by the torso and wrapped his whole body around him.

He held him as secure as he could while he thrashed around, waiting till Matsukawa hurriedly set up a foldable chair and brought out some rope. Hanamaki dragged Iwaizumi to the chair, ignoring his pleads of “Let me go!” or “Y’all will pay for this-I swear!” As he forcefully sat him down.

He held his hands to the back of the chair as Matsukawa tied him up as quick as he could.

“Oi! What the fuck!” Iwaizumi kicked at Matsukawa as he circled him with the rope.

“It’s for your own good, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa piped up from his spot blocking the door. He didn’t want to move from the door until Iwaizumi was fully immobilized, just in case he tried to run for it.

“Like hell it is-ack!” Matsukawa tightened the rope. “Ease up, will you! God damn!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Matsukawa, in fact, did not ease up. He tied the rope into multiple tight knots, making it virtually impossible to somehow slip out of them. Iwaizumi squirmed around in his restraints as the chair was rotated facing away from the door, and towards Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

Oikawa sighed triumphantly, and backed away from the door. He clasped his hands together.

“So nice of you to finally join our discussion, Iwa-chan.”

“Literally suck my dick then go practice receives on a nearby building and fall to your death.”

Oikawa feigned offense to Iwaizumi’s words. Hanamaki chuckled, while Matsukawa shut Iwaizumi up by tugging at the rope’s end he was holding in his hands.

“Isn’t this illegal? Like-somewhere in the world?”

“It isn’t right now~” Oikawa sung, before becoming laughably serious. “Now! We need some answers!”

“More like you couldn’t contain your curiosity or ask Iwaizumi like a normal person.”

“Makki! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Oikawa blurbed, before coughing and regaining his cool integrator vibe. “Anyways!” Oikawa snapped harshly at Iwaizumi.

“You! Have a! Crush! On Manager-chan!”

Iwaizumi choked on his own spit. He turned away dumbly, with a coy look on his face.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb! We all see the looks you give him! ‘Fess up, Iwa-chan! You’re absolutely totally whipped for (Y/n)-chan!”

Iwaizumi stiffened. “Since when were you two on a first name basis-!”

“See?! You got mad when I called (L/n)-kun by his first name!”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Iwaizumi barked. He was starting to sweat now. Were these restraints always so stuffy? “I was just wondering why you called him that!”

Oikawa stuck his tongue out. “Just say you like him we’ll let you go~!”

“Never! No way in hell!”

Oikawa gasped. He pointed dramatically at Iwaizumi. “So you do admit it! You’re totally in love with Manager-kun but you don’t wanna say it!”

“Wh-?!” Iwaizumi sputtered. He kicked around in his restraints, making Matsukawa tug at the rope again. He was thrashing around so much he didn’t hear the door open. “When did I-“

“When did I ever say I had a big ass fuckin’ crush on (L/n) that it made me question my whole sexuality?! But that I couldn’t care less since he’s so...so nice and cute and-fuck!”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki paled. They seemed to be looking at something behind Iwaizumi. Oikawa was still listening intently to Iwaizumi’s confession, not noticing whatever it was those two were staring at.

“Fuck! Fuck! I wanna grab his stupid face and kiss him all over! Fuck! Why is (Y/n) so cute! I wanna call him by his first name too! I wanna hug him and do things boyfriends do too! Fuck! I’m so-“

Oikawa’s eye eventually trailed up from Iwaizumi. He locked eyes with whatever was there, then immediately copied the same panicked ‘we’re dead’ look Hanamaki and Matsukawa had. He looked back at Iwaizumi with a sweaty, pale face.

“H-hey, Iwa-chan, that’s enough-you proved your point-“

“-I’M SO FUCKING GAY FOR (Y/N) IT HURTS!”

The three boys flinched, looking behind Iwaizumi with the same look you’d give when you got caught doing something bad. Iwaizumi was breathing heavily, slouched on his chair after his whole explosion of a confession. He looked at the three third years, who weren’t even looking back at him.

“...what? This is what you guys wanted right? To admit that I like (L/n-“

“I-Iwaizumi, you might wanna shut up…” Hanamaki said, his voice trembly. Matsukawa and Oikawa nodded.

“No! Why are y’all acting so weird! You guys were all up my ass about it, and now you’re telling me to shut up?!”

Matsukawa silently spun his chair around slowly, towards the door so he could see what they were all staring at.

“Honestly, if y’all weren’t expecting me to actually…confess…t-to…yooouuu…”

Iwaizumi’s voice progressively died down as he locked eyes with (Y/n), standing by the door with the reddest shocked face he’d ever seen. It was Iwaizumi’s turn to go pale.

“Uh...I-I heard...screaming...f-from the club room and...and I wanted to see if you guys were ok...um.” (Y/n) awkwardly swung his hands around, before letting them rest behind his back. “So…”

“Do you...really wanna ‘kiss me all over’ and do boyfriend-y stuff together…? With me…?”

Iwaizumi said nothing. He started squirming madly in his binds, trying to look anywhere else but (Y/n).

“Let me out let me out let me out let me out-!“

Iwaizumi only wriggled and kicked harder when (Y/n) started approaching him.

“LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETME-uu-?”

(Y/n) balled up his fists, resting them rigidly on Iwaizumi’s lap as he clumsily pressed a kiss to his lips. His eyes were clamped shut, unlike Iwaizumi’s, who were wide open. He felt (Y/n) push closer, to which he let his body give in and relax, closing his eyes and tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Matsukawa wolf-whistled, while Hanamaki yelled things like ‘Get it, Iwaizumi!’. Oikawa smiled triumphantly once more, clapping quietly. “Bravo! Yay Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi’s eyes were half-lidded as began to pull away. He let out a shaky sigh, watching Iwaizumi take breathless breaths in. Oikawa was still clapping in the background.

“Yay! Yaaaay Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan is happy and I fulfilled my promise! (L/n) will be Manager-kun for forever!”

Iwaizumi snapped out of his dazed trance to glare at Oikawa in confusion. “Huh?”

“Ara?” Oikawa tilted his head. (Y/n) caught on, and started violently shaking his head ‘no’, as well as flailing his arms around trying to shut him up.

“You don’t know why (L/n)-kun decided to join the club?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. (Y/n) whimpered slightly and covered his face in his hands.

“I told (L/n)-kun that if he became our manager, I’d find a way to get you to fall in looove with him. But it looks like I didn’t need to do anything~”

Oikawa chuckled. “He really only joined for you, y’know. When I went up to talk to him about being a manager, his eyes lit up and he said, and I quote: ‘I’ll do it if you set me up with your friend Iwaizumi-kun and get him to fall for me-! Kyaaa! Iwaizumi-kun is so tall dark and handsom-ow!”

Oikawa was abruptly cut off when Iwaizumi kicked him in the leg, as it was the only thing he could reach while he was still tied up. Iwaizumi turned to the side with a blushy pout.

“Y-you’re embarrassing him, idiot.”

“Aww look. He’s enjoying this.” Matsukawa snickered. Hanamaki chuckled as quietly as he could, both trying not to get kicked in the leg like Oikawa did. (Y/n) sank to the floor, defeated.

“Why did you tell Iwaizumi-kun...that’s so embarrassing…” (Y/n) groaned from the ground. He was still covering his face, so he didn’t notice when Matsukawa started untying Iwaizumi, or when Iwaizumi squatted down and placed his hand on top of (Y/n’s) head.

(Y/n) made a noise of surprise as Iwaizumi patted his head with a blushy scowl.

“S’ only fair that I know… I was pretty embarrassed too when you heard all those things I said about you... Eye for an eye and shit…”

(Y/n) said nothing as Iwaizumi continued to pat his head. They said nothing for a while, before Matsukawa silently whispered to Oikawa.

“Wait, if you knew that (L/n)-kun liked Iwaizumi, why did you look so scared when he walked in? You knew they liked each other.”

“Ah.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head, watching as Iwaizumi and (Y/n) shyly exchanged phone numbers.

“I was scared that Iwa-chan was going to murder me.”

——————

Wanna know what makes my day? When people comment on my fics 💖 especially when they reblog and go crazy in the tags or even say something IN the reblog itself 💖💖💖 makes me feel all warm inside ✨

-Mr. Mizunetzu

[redorich]

What if Tommy and a few other Hermits went to the Dream SMP to take care of some business (aka Dreamon + small family reunion for Tommy) and they see Tommy hug these two PvP gods as a ghost floats around them saying, “oh Tommy! You’ve been gone so long! Where did you go?” And seeming quite happy as well. The hermits get to see just how fucked this place is. Tommy told them Techno is by far the richest person on the server yet he only has one stack of diamond blocks. Not a single shulker box to be seen. Phil tells them The End is Off Limits. They get to see the main hub of this world is less impressive than a single of their big builds. They see fighting in the streets. From the other side of walls they hear people threatening eachother. They get to see and experience the comparative hell that Tommy cane from -🐍

Scar’s the one that gets to go first. He and Grian jockey for the privilege, but in the end Scar is the mayor of Hermitcraft, which means he gets to visit the Dream SMP first. (Grian pouts for days.)

Scar wears his very nice mayor sash, and irons his trousers, and keeps his armor in his inventory so that everyone can see his nice apparel. He smiles, and opens his eyes to what is basically a pit. The ground is more creeper-hole than actual ground, and there are mishmash walls all around him. His smile falters.

<Dream> Oh shit hes at spawn

<Technoblade> dream forgot to change visitor spawn, worst admin ever

<Dream> Shut up

Tubbo hit the ground too hard

<Technoblade> TUBBO IS GONE CRABRAVE

<ItsFundy> canon death

<Tubbo> NO

“Hey there,” Tubbo says from behind Scar. The mayor yelps, whirling around and nearly falling on his face.

“Sorry to scare you,” Tubbo laughs, “but how about I show you around? After I get my stuff back, that is.”

“Y-yeah,” Scar says, visibly perturbed. Tubbo leads him through a hole in the wall just large enough for them to go through one at a time, then through a small patch of forest. (Do these people seriously not even have a way out of spawn, or a path from spawn to the important locations?)

Dream catches up to Tubbo and Scar right as the town comes into view. They meet up at a patch of ruined land, on which two identical Nether portals are sat.

“Welcome to the Dream SMP,” Dream says with a gesture toward the slightly-broken oak slab path stretching out from the portal. “Sorry I’m late, I had to take care of some business.”

“Business?” Scar asks despite himself.

Dream fidgets with the handle of his axe sheepishly. “Yeah. I sent some of the troublemakers on a wild goose chase several thousand blocks away from here. Hopefully, they shouldn’t bother you.”

“That’s great and all, but I kind of need to get my stuff back,” Tubbo cuts in before Scar has a chance to question Dream.

“Sure, it was near Tommy’s old house, right? Why not show Scar the Prime Path while you’re at it?”

Tubbo smiles, and takes Scar’s hand in his. “Great idea. Come on, Scar!”

Scar allows himself to be pulled along, dodging holes in the “Prime Path” as he does so.

“That way’s Eret’s Gay Castle-- you can’t grief it, it’s homophobic,” Tubbo explains, “and up ahead’s Church Prime.”

It’s not much of a church, Scar thinks, given the giant floating poster that’s been left to peel away. Bits of the poster have even been torn off and stolen, leaving only the item frame behind. Still, he knows better than to say rude things about someone else’s religion, even if the state of disrepair... No. He won’t say anything.

Various depictions of anti-Technoblade propaganda still up. They’re so, so ugly. Further along the path there’s a tower that actually isn’t hideous, so it was probably made by-- Eret, was it? The same guy who made the Gay Castle? A stray chicken clucks while Scar tears his eyes away from the Walmart which has magma for floors, and the Targay, and the cobblestone framework of what Tubbo claims is a Denny’s which was used once for roleplay and then promptly abandoned.

Tommy’s old house can best be described as “open air”, to put it politely. At least there’s a fence..? But as Tubbo picks up his items and the two set off for L’Manberg, politely ignoring the giant Gogy posters, they hear a scuffle up ahead.

“Let go of my fucking hair!” George shrieks.

“Not until you give me back my potato,” Sapnap responds. The two grown men are fighting like children in the middle of the Prime Path in broad daylight, pulling each other’s hair and slap-fighting but at least-- no, never mind, they’ve got their weapons out now.

George shrieks at the top of his lungs when one of Sapnap’s swings gets too close. “It’s rotted anyway, why the hell do you want it?!”

“Because it’s mine,” Sapnap insists. He finally bonks George on the head hard enough to kill him, then scoops the rotten potato out of George’s belongings. His hand toys with a flint and steel, but he eventually seems to decide not to burn George’s items for the offense of stealing his potato.

“Oh, hi there!” Sapnap says once he spots them. He waves.

Scar hesitantly waves back. He’s beginning to think that perhaps he should have worn his armor after all. He watches in morbid fascination as Sapnap takes a bite of his rotten potato. Sapnap’s face drains of all color; he immediately leaps off a cliff to go be sick in a valley away from prying eyes. George’s things are left on the ground.

“Y’know, I think I left the oven on,” Scar says slowly. Tubbo looks at him with sad, pitiful eyes, as if to say, do you see what I have to deal with?

“Would you like to go back to Hermitcraft and try again another day?”

Attempting to affect nonchalance and failing miserably at it, Scar waves his hand rapidly. “Actually, Grian really wanted to come see your server, so-- maybe I’ll send him. I’m real busy with, uh, mayor stuff.”

Tubbo nods, pretending to buy the excuse. “I’ll have Dream send you back.”

“Thank you,” Scar says fervently.

[forever-emo-phase]

Mission Status: Sick!

Notes: Hello this is my first fic for Sanders Sides! It is inspired by @illogicallyinclined​‘s hockey AU! If you haven’t ever gotten into it, do it! However, you can still read even if you don’t know anything about the AU! Characters: Virgil, Logan

Ship: The whole thing is pretty much just analogical pining Warnings: Panic attack is described Genre: Just guys being dudes being gay. Fluff maybe? It’s not sad and that’s all I can tell you. Summary: Which is how Virgil arrived at his current situation, Logan tensely sitting at his desk in the middle of the night with shoulders so tight he looked like he was seconds away from shattering.

'It's a good thing that my homosexuality is stronger than my pride', Virgil thought as he opened a capri sun and violently squeezed it onto his sheets.

Check it out on Ao3 here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/33804841

Anxiety sucks. Virgil’s nails are always bitten down to the quick, hands never still, and the insides of his cheeks chewed and raw. If Virgil had to find a bright side, it would have to be his ability to read people. With just a look, Virgil could tell by the slump of his shoulders when Roman needed a little bit of extra praise. He would notice the redness around Patton’s eyes and know that he would need more company than normal. 

But the one person Virgil prided himself on seeing was Logan. It was almost second nature for him to sense the tension in Logan’s shoulders without even looking, he could almost feel it in the air. He could see when Logan needed to get out of his head and stop pushing himself before he broke. 

Dealing with Logan’s emotions, however, was slightly harder. If his approach was too physical, like he would approach Patton, Logan would withdraw. If he tried to take the same approach he would with Roman, showering compliments tempered with a light bit of teasing, Logan would get uncomfortable and retreat.

Which is how Virgil arrived at his current situation, Logan tensely sitting at his desk in the middle of the night with shoulders so tight he looked like he was seconds away from shattering.

'It's a good thing that my homosexuality is stronger than my pride', Virgil thought as he opened a capri sun and violently squeezed it onto his sheets. 

The thing with Logan is that he doesn’t care about himself. He will push himself to his limit and keep going, but, if someone else needs something? He will help as much as he can, even though sometimes it may not be overly obvious that he is helping.

“Hey Logan?” Virgil says from across the room, staring at his now soaked bedding. 

“Yes, Virgil?” Logan doesn’t look up from his computer as he sharply replies. For a moment Virgil wonders if this scheme was the best idea, it could fail horribly and Logan could be angry and refuse. But, the wheels were already in motion, his sheets were already wet, and there was no turning back.

“I fucked up.” He said plainly, watching as Logan’s head turned so fast to look at him that he was surprised that he didn’t hear a crack. Realizing how ominous his statement was, Virgil raised his hands and quickly spat out a placating “No it’s okay i’m fine!”

Logan let out a sigh before replying “What did you manage to do that was so dramatic that it required that statement, while I was sitting in the same room, only a handful of feet away from you?”

“Well…” Virgil started, choosing his words very carefully to make sure his plan could not fail. “I was panicking a little bit while I was drinking my Capri Sun and I squeezed it a little bit too hard. It spilled on my sheets and my bed is soaked now.” 

Logan’s eyes assessed Virgil, making him momentarily wonder if his lie was believable. Did his dishonesty show on his face? Was Logan about to get angry and yell at him? His hands began to shake slightly and his breathing picked up and, he thought wryly, at least now he wasn’t lying about being anxious. His fears were eased when he saw the slight softening of Logan’s face. 

“Oh Virgil,” Logan huffed out, his face morphing into an expression of fond exasperation, “You need to stop having drinks in your bed, especially ones of the extremely spillable and sugary type.”

Virgil shrugged, “It is what it is, you know?”

“It does not have to be the way that it is?” Logan said with a hint of confusion sneaking into his voice. “You can very easily change the circumstance.”

A small chuckle escaped from Virgil as he watched his roommate struggle to wrap his head around the statement. Logan was extremely smart, that was obvious, but watching him puzzle out modern slang and sayings struck Virgil as endearing every time. “It’s too late to change it now, you know?”

“You are correct.” Logan intoned and Virgil could already see some of the tension leaving Logan’s shoulders as he began to relax during the conversation. “Do you have a plan for drying your bedding before it is time for you to sleep?”

“Not at all.” Virgil said as he absentmindedly brought his hand to his mouth to bite his nails, but stopped as Logan let out a soft click of his tongue as a reprimand. As he lowered his hand, he absent-mindedly wondered if Logan was even aware that he had made the sound. Either way, Virgil found it incredibly sweet. “I’ll probably just sleep on the floor. My pillow is dry.”

Virgil made a show of picking up his pillow and feeling around for a dry blanket so that he could make a temporary bed on the floor, however, he was quickly interrupted.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Logan scolded lightly, “You can sleep in my bed. I will be up for a significant while longer doing work, it is no problem at all.”

Everything was falling into place for Virgil and he had to resist the urge to steeple his fingers together like a Bond villain. But his work was not finished, there was still one more task- Get Logan In The Bed.

“Dude no!” He exclaimed, “I’m not taking your bed! You’ve gotta sleep at some point!”

“Virgil,” Logan sighed, “I have a lot of work to do that I need to get done soon. I was actually planning to get up and pour myself some more coffee.”

Shit. If Logan got caffeine into his system, it was game over. His plan would fail and he would just be in Logan’s bed, and while that wouldn’t be the worst thing, it was not the plan. Panicking, he blurted out a quick “No!”

“No?” Logan said with a raised eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

‘Now or never’ Virgil thought to himself, before delivering the line that had inspired the whole plot.

“I wouldn’t feel okay with taking your bed, just in case you decided to sleep. Could we just share for the night?”

Logan looked puzzled, “I suppose, but I have already told you that I am not necessarily planning on sleeping tonight.”

“I know but.. I would feel bad.” Virgil said, his anxiety rising now that he was this far into the plan and there was truly no turning back. “Could you just… Would you just lay down for a minute? It would make me feel better.”

Judging by Logan’s expression, Virgil was convinced that he had lost Logan. His plan had failed and he felt a burn of shame in his chest, clenching his eyes shut. God he was so stupid! He should have just refused the offer to take Logan’s bed and slept on the floor! He should have not even tried this stupid plan! Virgil had not noticed his breathing picking up and his fingernails burying themselves into his palms as his thoughts spiraled into a pit of anxiety. He had not noticed until Logan’s voice washed over him.

“Virgil?” He said, somehow both softly and with authority. “Name five things you can see.” Virgil pried his eyes open, not really remembering when he had closed them. “Bed. Computer. Shoes. Water bottle. Posters.”

Logan nodded his head, with a small smile. “You are doing very well. Now four things you can touch.”

“Uhhh…” Virgil hesitated, eyes darting to Logan, “Sheets. Pants. My hair. Wet blanket.”

“Good job. Three things that you can hear now.” 

“Your voice. The air conditioner. Our obnoxious neighbors.” His breathing had started to slow and he could feel his body relaxing.

“Two things you can smell, you’re almost there.”

“Capri sun from my sheets and your disgusting coffee.”

“Last thing, one thing you can taste.” 

“Toothpaste.” With his breathing regulated and feeling calmer, Virgil smiled wryly back at Logan. “I’m sorry. That was… sudden.”

“You are perfectly fine. I have reassured you multiple times that I do not mind helping you.” Logan said soothingly. “Why don’t we go lay down? You are typically quite tired after these events.”

“Yeah… that sounds good.” Virgil said as he stood to move to Logan’s bed, straightening his sleep pants and he went. “Do… are you going to lay down too?”

Logan hummed, walking to his laptop to shut the lid, as well as flipping the main lights in the room off.  “Yes I suppose that I can for a moment. Just to assure you that I do not mind that you are in my bed.”

Virgil lifted the sheets of the bed and crawled under, scooting over so that he was next to the wall, leaving space for Logan to enter. “Alright. I promise I won’t keep you too long.”

“Well.” Logan said as he joined Virgil under the sheets, “I, in all honesty, could use the sleep.”

Virgil smiled at Logan with a soft “Good night then.”

“Good night Virgil.” Logan whispered, reaching up to turn off the light next to his bed, plunging them both into darkness.

The next time Virgil opened his eyes, the sun was shining through the window of the room and his head was resting on Logan’s shoulder. One of Logan’s strong arms was wrapped across Virgil and Virgil could hear Logan’s soft breathing against his ear.

Slowly reaching into his pocket so as to not disturb Logan, Virgil pulled out his cellphone, which was at 9%, and quickly snapped a picture before sending it to Remy with a simple caption.

“Mission accomplished.”

 (And that is the end! Feedback is very appreciated!)

[notstilinski]

Shit I Heard At College Starters!

Taken from things that I have heard around campus within the last semester. Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“I know. I’ve seen the tweets.”

“I’m already a pain in the ass. I didn’t want to be a bigger pain in the ass.”

“I just saw the spinning wheels of an invisible entity.”

“This taffy don’t feel laughy.”

“R.L Stone is probably in purgatory, oh god!”

“I didn’t have any trauma, so I have to make my own.”

“I met a stripper, her name's Coco, we bonded.”

“The one thing that got me sober: Child death.”

“Can you bring a raccoon back? I want a pet.”

“If you see a guy who’s way too happy to be sober. Don’t worry, he’s definitely sober. He’s a good kid.”

“I’m here to wreck your home. Your kitchen? Gone. Family room? Gone.”

“See, I respect crazy but only if it’s done correctly.”

“Biologically? They’re twenty-five, but spiritually they are eight thousand.”

“Oh my god, I am a switch. You don’t have to keep bringing it up.”

“How fucking dare you imply it’s the gay one? I would never disrespect it with heteronormative sex.”

“Cover your ears. I don’t want you to hear the gay.”

“We don’t know that those slushies didn’t have vodka in it!”

“Maybe you should put on your toe-toe socks while you’re wearing your little fancy shoes.”

“ *random seal noises while clapping* “

“Oh, you’re really drawing. Okay, Papa Ross.”

“I got roasted last time, so I’m just listening to other people now.”

“Diagnosis me, Babey!”

“Can’t be anxious if you befriend everyone in the classroom.”

“She confessed her overwhelming love for me and then stabbed me with a violin bow. She stabbed me because I rejected her.”

“Have a good walk home! Hopefully, nobody follows you.”

“What makes me unique is that I crack my body every time that I move.”

“I evaluate your taste in music and then base your letter grade on it.”

“I’m sure it will be a good memory, but it’s still too fresh right now.”

“He’s smart but not, like, school smart.”

“We need to get you off the cocaine, mister. This is not good, these drugs, I tell ya.”

“I need to make sure to take a shit before classes.”

“Hi, king! Stay toxic!”

“Oh, these titties? Why yes they’re all-natural.”

“Is this reminiscent of the fact that you haven’t felt love in ten years?”

“I don’t need to eat water anyway.”

“I like how we’re just sitting here, calmly doing our homework while brutal murder plays on our television.”

“That can only exist on an album cover for Mumford and Sons and nothing else.”

“We did not have sex with (Name), this comes more from word of mouth.”

“He says it’s because I cripple my family.”

“Wholesome, but make it sexy.”

“He protecc, but he doesn’t attac. He has anxiety.”

“I don’t study dicks!”

“I got called an alcoholic baby.”

“The Lord giveth, and he gives us alcohol in celebration.”

“Just bash his head in, babe.”

“Homie, we’re all gay. Do you see all the flannels and cardigans?”

“It was hotter than a witch’s tit in there.”

“Mistake number one of true crime. Be a happy and normal family.”

“If you ever get down on yourself for not being accepted by anything, know that you’re accepted by this.”

“I’ll force you to socialize for seven hours with no breaks. You’d be dead on the spot.”

“I’m stressed, but we’re vibing, I guess.”

“Remember, if you don’t set up any goals, you can’t not reach them.”

“Naked and afraid in a Target bathroom.”

“I can’t believe you keep pulling your cock out while playing Clue.”

“Don’t you remember when you first came in and went, “you’re no longer gay?”

“You just need to give yourself the grace of being shitty.”

“Everyone’s sick right now, so they’re calling it the Frat Flu.”

“Because that’s what we want, our son staring at his mother’s titties.”

“A girl at work showed me a picture of her boyfriend and, without thinking, I went ‘aw! Charity work!”

“Don’t you start with me, Christian Samantha.”

“Pussygetter3000. My first Gmail account.”

“Everybody loves grandma.”

“Yeah, I was a terrible child.”

“Did you just say crying sesh?”

“How are we doing over here, guys? A little dead on the inside?”

“Virgin Mary, but make it STD.”

“The biggest fuck you — Our religious trauma inviting us to a chapel.”

“I once had a dream that I fucked my grandma.”

“If it’s not at least a little bit criminally illegal, we don’t want it.”

“Do you think that if I hugged my computer hard enough, it’ll transfer the information to it?”

“I wanna draw her like one of my French girls.”

“Grandpa died in me.”

“My brother is being shady. He’s being nice to me.”

“A stranger asked: Male or female? I said MF. Motherfucker.”

“I look eye so hard.”

“Not everyone has the same feeling in the butt.”

“I can’t have my happiness rely on anyone, much less a 21-year-old white man.”

“That seems awfully suspicious that a grown man is showing you his cockpit.”

“Sometimes… My mind is a prison.”

“This can also go the other way. I can also psychologically damage.”

“It’s just going to get harder. I don’t know why I’m assuming that this is the worst.”

“If you’re sad and you know it, clap your hands.” *clap, clap*

“Mother of Propaganda.”

“Goodnight. I hope you have night terrors.”

“I never met someone who could make a stomach ache a personality trait.”

“(Name) is my permanent bed buddy.”

“Straight out of Mr. Starbucks himself, she’ll drink his pee.”

“Bitch, it’s not a hoe phase. You’re just sad, and a slut.”

“Wow, I didn’t know Pixar did Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

"I am not feared enough in my lifetime, so I shall be feared in my afterlife."

“Existence is pain.”

“They absolutely destroyed me. I am no longer in one piece down there.”

“You were also once a crying, screaming mucus.”

“Police? They’re here for you.”

“Wow, you’re just an evil slut.”

“POV: I’m breaking into your apartment.”

“Yeah. Eighteen minutes of unconsciousness.”

“I know. I’m not dead. Just on the inside.”

“Zero dollars is acceptable, but more than zero dollars is greatly appreciated.”

“He is, uh, an incest baby."

“I’m helping our child commit his first kill!”

“I like beating (Name).”

“I’m sorry. I’m still dying.”

“Hi. I’m Mommy, nice to meet you.”

“Huh. That’s interesting — That doesn’t look very wholesome.”

“Just because I’m dreary doesn’t mean the weather needs to be dreary.”

“He cries every night because he can’t be Mistletoe Daddy.”

“You’re gonna shoot him with a gun?!”

“She said that she would shoot him, put the gun in the hole and push it until it's in there.”

“Similar to Pitbull, “Already been there, done that.”

“No idea. Because I have no perception of time.”

“It’s fun to mess with (Name) because you mess with them, and they just sort of buffer.”

“You’re nerds (derogatory).”

“Once, we were playing Uno, and it was not looking good for him, so he goes, “This has to be a race thing.”

“No. I cannot be responsible for another living thing.”

“The Vietnam war could have been an email.”

“I like the idea of maybe falling to my death.”

“Is it when I sell my toe pics, and they don’t tax me?”

“A bridge. Throw yourself.”

“Grandmommy? Grandmommy.”

“If she doesn’t bust her hip during sex, she’s too young for me.”

“Didn’t get a birthday card in the mail this morning. I’m a little hurt. But it’s okay.”

“What do you think Mickey Mouse sounds like when he’s getting pegged?”

“I laughed so hard that I grew abs.”

“Another day, another painkiller.”

“I’m desensitized to people being mad at me, so I’m like fuck it!”

“I’m more than just… A nine-year-old's body.”

“Coochie out on a Tuesday afternoon.”

“I spill water, I spill alcoholic beverages, and I’m going to spill myself.”

“Hated a strong word. I highly dislike her person.”

“At least I’m better than Ted Bundy.”

“We will allow incest on this occasion.”

“It was extremely mildly uncomfortable.”

“You just want to get laid out by a female so bad.”

“I want to kick him into the sewer, starve him of water and watch him cripple away.”

“Someone asked if they were Christmas tears.”

“Okay. I’m just going to go drink water and pray for attention.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

when they wrongfully accuse you of cheating ~ misfits

request?: yes!

“Hello, can you do please do post about Misfits when they wrongly accuses reader of cheating? Have a nice day❤”

warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, angst

masterlist (one, two)

FITZ:

After his not so great run in with She Who Shall Not be Names (Katerino), Cameron’s trust levels were not very high. When he started dating you, he tried to push those concerns to the back of his mind. You had a similar experience with an ex as he had with Kate, so he felt the likeliness of you cheating on him was very slim. But then he met a friend of yours, a friend that happened to be a guy, a guy friend that Cameron felt was getting a little too close to you. This, unfortunately, resulted in a fight that lasted nearly an entire hour. “(Y/F/N) is just a friend, Cam! There’s nothing between us!” “You spend so much more time with him than you do with me, though. You’re always out together, you always want to hang out with him, you were even out with him the other night when you told me you were going out for a girl’s night!” You scoffed and handed the final blow of the argument, “If you fucking listened to me for one second you’d let me explain that (Y/F/N) is fucking gay!” You slammed the door behind you as you left Cameron’s apartment, leaving him speechless, heartbroken, and feeling like a complete fucking idiot.

~~~~~~

INOTORIOUS:

While Matt often did join in on the jokes at his expense with his friends, he couldn’t help but take them to heart too. He knew none of his friends meant anything by what they were saying, but he often found himself believing the playful insults they threw his way. This led to him believing he wasn’t good enough to be with you and worrying about the day when you’d realize you could do better and break up with him. All his fears and insecurities came to a head when he noticed how close of friends you and Cam were becoming. “I don’t like that you hang out with Cam so much.” You looked up at him over your laptop, raising an eyebrow. “Why not?” “I just...I don’t like it. I don’t mind that you’re friends with the guys, but you and Cam are...you’re different. I don’t like it.” You placed your laptop aside and sat up so you could directly walk to him. “What exactly is different about me and Cam?” “You just...you’re all touchy feely and you have inside jokes and you hang out alone together a lot...like...like a lot a lot.” “I don’t hang out with Cam alone at all. Usually one of the guys is there with us.” “You go out smoking weed with him.” “Yeah, and you can see us through the glass windows that lead out into the backyard, that’s hardly alone. What’s this really about, Matt?” He shuffled in his seat, not wanting to voice the concerns that he had. He was looking down at his hands, avoiding eye contact at all costs. This was enough of an answer for you. “You think I’m gonna fool around with Cam behind your back?” Matt started to shake his head, but then stopped. “Matt, you know I’d never do that to you. Cam is just my friend, I think of him as the big brother I never had.” “But he’s...he’s like...so much better than I am...” You stood up to hug Matt, bringing his head to your chest and cradling him as you ran your fingers through your hair. “Cam is far from better than you, Matt. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I’d be crazy to let you go for anyone else, let alone Cam. You’re my one and only, okay? I love you.”

~~~~~~

MCCREAMY:

Long distance relationships sucked ass. Especially when the person you were dating was in a whole other country with a totally conflicting time zone. Having the times line up where you and Jay could call one another and talk for long periods of time very rarely ever lined up. It was hard, but the two of you tried your best. You texted each other at least once every day and tried to call when possible, and even posted cute little Instagram things just so you could tag one another in them. Jay saw one of these posts one day and his heart felt light with happiness. He wished he could just see you in person and finally be able to hold you and kiss you. He was about to continue scrolling when another post by you popped up, this time with another guy. It was a mirror selfie from a club of some kind. You were dressed in short shorts and a crop top and you were basically sitting in the guy’s lap. Jay felt himself becoming slightly angry at the post. Obviously you had meant to post it, there was a caption and the person was tagged, but had you meant for him to see it? He called you almost immediately, not caring if he was waking you or interrupting something. You answered on the second ring, sounding like you had been drifting off to sleep. “Jay? What’s up?” “Who is that in your latest Instagram picture?” You hummed in response, still out of it. “Didn’t I post one of the two of us?” “I meant before that.” You made another noise like you were thinking, before saying, “Oh, that’s (Y/F/N).” “Why were you sat on his lap in the picture?” “Jay, can we talk about this later? I can barley form a coherent thought right now so it feels like everything you’re saying it going over my head.” “No, I want you to tell me right now why you posted that picture with another guy.” There was some shuffling, then the sound of a light turning on. He could hear you yawn on the other end before you said, “Did you read the caption at all?” “A little.” He hadn’t. “Then you know that the picture is from years ago, before you and I even met. And that I was posting it to remember when (Y/F/N) and I met years ago in a bar when he photobombed a picture I was taking.” Jay was silent. He didn’t really know how to respond to that at all. He was starting to feel like an idiot, why didn’t he just read the caption? “I’m gonna go back to sleep,” you said, breaking the silence. “Call me at a reasonable time when you’re ready to apologize for whatever this was about.” Jay listened as you hung up, leaving him in shocked silence, feeling like a complete idiot.

~~~~~~

SWAGGERSOULS:

Despite his jokes online about his appearance, Swagger was actually pretty insecure about the way he looked. When the two of you had first started talking online, he refused to do video calls or to send you pictures for the first while because he was afraid you wouldn’t find him attractive. He build a small bit of confidence to finally start talking to you face to face and to actually meet you in person. But the insecurities regarding his looks were always there, and they led to your first fight as a couple when Swagger saw you dancing with a guy while you, the Misfits, and some of your girl friends were out together. “Why the fuck were you dancing with him?!” he called over the thumping club music. “I didn’t know I was dancing with him! I thought it was (Y/F/N)! We went out onto the dancefloor together and I thought she was still behind me. I didn’t know it was another guy until you came over.” Swagger scoffed and rolled his eyes. You raised an eyebrow at him. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” “Nothing.” “No, tell me Swagger.” “I just have a hard time believing you didn’t know some guy was grinding up behind you and you really just thought it was your friend. Did you really think I wouldn’t see? That I wouldn’t do anything about it?” “I didn’t fucking know!” “Whatever, (Y/N). Enjoy your dancing!” He left you shocked as you watched him walk away. Your face was on fire from anger and confusion, meanwhile Swagger was downing the beer he had in his hand, hoping to forget the night entirely when he woke up the next morning.

~~~~~~

TOBYONTHETELE:

Toby prided herself on not being jealous or jumping to conclusions. She had a massive amount of trust in you, she always had. You had never given her a reason to believe otherwise. But when you started hiding your text messages from her, taking your phone with you every time you left the room instead of just leaving it there like you usually did, being vague about where you were and what you were doing, Toby couldn’t help but feel suspicious. You had never acted this way before, and she knew she shouldn’t jump to conclusions but she just couldn’t help it. All the signs pointed to one thing: you were seeing someone else. Toby worried over it for so long that she nearly made herself sick, and that’s when she finally snapped. She confronted you when you came home from one of your secret “errands” you went on. “If you’re cheating on me, just fucking break up with me and get it over with.” You were shocked. “What? Babe, I’m not cheating on you. Why would you think that?” “You’re so secretive and you hide your texts from me and your phone. You’re always so open with me, but lately you’ve been hiding something. The only logical thing is you’re seeing someone else.” You tried to hold back your laugh but it was nearly impossible. You started to giggle, which frustrated Toby even more. “Toby, I’m not seeing someone else. It’s going to ruin everything, but I was being secretive cause I was trying to plan this big surprise birthday party for you.” You laughed harder at her dumbfounded face as you hugged her and kissed her cheek. “You know I’d never cheat on you, babe. I love you too much.”

~~~~~~

ZUCKLES:

Mason loved to party. Literally everyone knew that, you included. You were more than fine with that, but what you weren’t fine with was him always leaving you alone when he went to parties. At first it was just nerve wracking considering the fact that you didn’t know anyone, but then it became downright frustrating for your boyfriend to leave your side the minute you walked through the doors of a house party or a club. It was even worst because it gave creepy drunk guys the opportunity to try and flirt with you because you were there all alone. The night that Mason finally caught some guy getting a little too close to you, you felt relief when he saved you. The relief quickly went away when Mason’s angry face turned to face you. “Who the fuck was that?” You scrunched up your nose at the stench of alcohol coming from him. “Some creep. Can we go home?” “Why was he getting close to you like that?” You scoffed. “Why are you getting so angry? He was flirting with me, not the other way around Mason.” “I don’t like finding my girlfriend getting close with some other dude when I’m not around. How many times has this happened?” You felt anger rising within you. How the fuck was he here getting angry with you when you were the one being hit on by some creep? “It’s happened nearly every time that you have left me alone when we go out, Mason. Which, newsflash, has been every time we go out! Don’t fucking stand here and get angry with me when you leave me alone for creepy drunk guys to try and hit on every time we go out! Also, the fact that you’d even think that I would hit on a guy when you’re not around is an extremely low fucking blow, Mason. I love you more than anything, I would never even think about flirting with someone else. The fact that you’re accusing me of anything right now and not listening to me is so fucking disgusting. I thought we had trust Mason!” When you started to walk away, Mason grabbed your arm. “Where are you going?” You yanked your arm free and responded, “Home! You make the decision if you trust me enough to believe me!”

[thinger-strang]

okay okay centerfold au (like....the song by the j geils band) where billy mas moved out and away from hawkins (he hasnt quite made it to california yet, hes not ready) and hes starting to let himself be gay and think gay thoughts and ya know indulge himself every so often

which obviously means he picks up a magazine from the back corner of the corner store he frequents

he does for something a little tamer, maybe throws in a few playboys just because hes nervous (which doesnt even matter because the cashier doesnt even spare the covers a glance once scanned)

gets home and eagerly flips through it, feeling excited that he can have gay porn out in the open in his living room without fearing for his life

hes mostly just idly looking through it, folding down a few corners of pages he'll revisit when hes in the mood, just kinda reveling in the freedom of it

until

he flips to the centerfold, the showcase, the main event and it's–

"steve?"

billy fucking drops the entire magazine, it lays open, teasing billy with those big brown eyes and tantalizing moles

its a good shot honestly, pretty tasteful, definitely not modest, but billy can appreciate the artful quality

of course not in this moment, in this moment billy is panicking?

who the hell told steve harrington he was allowed to do that?

billy finds himself staring at the photo; steve as the centerpiece, draped across several laps, being groped by way too many hands for billy's liking, steve's got a half hard cock in one hand, the other possessively wrapped around the thigh of a man standing next to him, everyone's sweaty and there's splatters of something all over everyone, and there's hard and soft dicks and muscular legs and soft bellies and flexing muscles but only one face

steve stares at the camera–at billy–with an enticing stare that seems to ask "what are you waiting for?" and the barest hint of a tongue pokes out–

billy cant look away but wants to tear his gaze away to anything else, he wants to memorize the page, he wants to burn it, he wants to frame it, he wishes it never existed, he wants to be in that room

billy thought he was over this silly crush on straight boy steve but heres he is, gripping another man's cock, letting another man's cock rest on his leg, letting other men hold him and touch him

it might be fine if billy hadn't seen steve in years, hadn't seen steve since he left that fucking hellhole behind but no, no!

steve harrington, the man who happened to be the centerfold of the one single gay magazine billy happened to pick up, was his upstairs neighbor

///

billy stares at the ground as he stops to get his mail, hoping, praying, that he'll be lucky and not run into anyone on his way home

prayers not answered

"hey billy, i haven't seen you in a while, you doin' okay?" steve asks cheerfully as he wiggles his own mailbox open.

"yup, doing just fine, thanks for asking" billy slams his box shut and hurries to the elevator without running and jabs the close door button a hundred million times

"woah hang on, hold the door!" steve calls after him, juggling his mail and his groceries that billy somehow didn't notice

steve makes it

fuck

steve's blabbering on about.... something, billy can't hear a word he's saying, he focusing on thinking about anything other than–

sweaty

magazine

dick

nude

moles

dick

dick

dick

billy is begging for any thought, anything, to cross his mind, anything but that stupid centerfold

"hey are you sure you're okay?" steve asks in a far too nice voice

"i told you i'm fine, please just leave me alone?" billy grits out

"i thought we were past all that" steve says in a sad voice

billy sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose

"we are, i'm just having an off day, got this killer headache ya know?" he lies through his teeth

"oh okay, gotcha, i'll be quiet" steve mimes zipping up his mouth

why is that worse why is that hot?

it's billy's floor and he can't get into his apartment fast enough

pulls out his dick and jerks it a few times before cumming right there in his kitchen floor

///

things don't get better

at all

billy avoids steve like the plague, which it wasn't like hung out on the regular, but theyd chit chat in the elevator or say hi when passing each other

so it was just awkward when billy would see steve in the hallway and immediately turn the other way

so it's not that surprising to wake up on a saturday morning to angry pounding on his door

"i'm coming, i'm coming, hold your fucking horses" billy grumbles as he pulls on a shirt and walks to the door

yanks it open to find a grumpy steve with his hands on his hips

"what gives hargrove? you said we were fine yet avoid me any time we so much as make eye contact? did i do something?"

billy has not had enough sleep to handle this conversation

"no you didn't do anything, it's kinda hard to explain just–" billy opens up his door to invite steve in

steve shoulders past billy and plops onto the couch

"coffee?" billy asks as he rubs his eyes

"im good" steve bites out

great

billy rolls his eyes and gets busy making himself a pot, trying to figure out how to say this, what to even say that would make this remotely okay

"oh my god" steve gasps

"what?" billy groans

he turns around and sees steve holding the magazine, clutching it really, something close to horror drawn all over his face

billy left it out on the coffee table as some sort of sick twisted 'fuck you' to neil

"shit shit SHIT i can explain–"

"no no i get it, um... i think i'm going to go, just... yeah i'm sorry i'll just–"

and with that steve was gone

///

this is worse, so so so very much worse

they either need to talk about it or billy needs to fucking find a new apartment

billy comes home after a long day at work to find steve knocking at his door

"hey–"

"jesus christ you scared me!" steve jumps into the wall

"sorry i kinda... snuck up on you, what are you doing at my door?" billy adjusts his backpack

"i, um... i wanted to explain? or talk? i get why you were avoiding me, i honestly forgot that came out this month" steve is twelve shades of the prettiest blush billy has ever seen

"hang on, let's go inside, i don't really wanna talk about this in the hallway"

steve's shoulders relax and he pressed himself into the wall to let billy open his door

steve sits awkwardly on the couch as billy hang up his bag and jacket and starts taking off his boots

"i... don't really know where to start" steve chews on his bottom lip and fidgits with his fingers

"i'm gay" billy blurts out

"what?" steve laughs

"i mean, i have a gay porn magazine, you're all nervous, i figured i'd break the ice?" billy shrugs

steve laughs and looks ten times lighter

"those pictures are older, i did them to help pay some bills while i was inbetween jobs, it was for a smaller thing, a blog or something, i dunno, it payed good so i said yes, i was desperate"

steve tuns his hands through his hair and breathes

"the guy who took the pictures asked if i'd be okay with him selling them to a bigger magazine, he said i'd get half the profits so i said yes"

steve shrugs and looks out the window

"so you just... did it for the money?" billy asks

"yes and no, i'm gay–well not gay, i'm bi but i'm... into dudes and all that, but mostly just to pay the bills"

steve finally meets billy's gaze with an almost scared look but more of a 'what are you gunna do about it' look

a lot like the one in the magazine

"that's cool, pretty brave too" billy says casually and leans back into his chair

"yeah... i'm kinda scared my job is going to find out that my dick is all over a magazine" steve laughs nervously

"you'll be fine, if it helps, you'd make a killing as a porno model"

billy grins wickedly in steve's direction

steve tries to smile back but it turns into a grimace

"i don't think it's weird, by the way... and while i don't think my crush on you from high school has quite gone away, i'm not going to like, make a move ot try to do anything" billy nudges steve's toe with his own

"okay" steve smiles for real this time

"okay" billy smiles back

"you really had a crush on me in high school?" steve smirks

"oh god, yeah, it was so bad, i didn't know what to do so i was just... an ass!" billy laughs

steve laughs along too and it's just comfortable, more comfortable than they've been ever

"do you wanna go get dinner?" steve smiles lopsidedly

"what!"

"like a date, do you want to go on a date with me?"

"it won't be weird?" billy asks earnestly

"not unless you make it weird"

billy grins and stands

"then let's go on a date!" he hold out his hand an hauls steve up

///

they're walking in comfortable silence, bumping into each other's shoulders, trying to make the other drop their left over box

they get to billy's door and kean against it, very much in each other's space

"you wanna know a secret?" steve asks with a mischievous glint in his eye

"sure"

"i had a crush on you in high school too" steve smiles and rests his forehead against billy's

"oh yeah!" billy leans into steve's touch, their noses bumping

"hell yeah" steve closes the distance and presses a soft kiss into billy's lips

[bleep-bleep-richie]

part one

part two

He's not panicking.

Just because he knows Eddie had court at 9am and they had plans to talk at lunch, and it's now 7pm and he still hasn't called.

Nope, definitely not panicking.

He isn't pacing the apartment either. No, he's just taking a leisurely stroll back and forth across his living room. There's just nothing good on TV. He isn't panicking, there's no reason to panic.

He had texted him at 1 and, after getting no answer, again at 5. He picks his phone up where he'd thrown it not even five minutes ago face down on the couch. He swipes his way to his messages.

Nothing.

He clicks "💖Edwardo💖" and scrolls through their messages from the last couple days. He sighs and clicks the text box.

Hey, I'm gonna stay up until I hear from you, so call me whenever.

He sends it and throws the phone to the side, collapsing against the back of his sofa. He picks up his laptop, clicks on the video chat app, and stares at the stupid picture Eddie had chosen as his icon. The edge of his mouth lifts in spite of the sick churning in his stomach. "Eddie fucking Kaspbrak," he mumbles with a shake of his head. He's still looking at Eddie's picture when he starts to doze off.

He has no idea how much time has gone by when he's woken up by the sound of a call coming through his computer. His vision's blurry, he pushes his glasses back up on his face, and sees Eddie's smile way too close to the camera. He accepts the call. "What the fuck, man?"

"Richie!" Eddie cries. "Did I wake you? You said you were staying up."

Richie stretches and yawns before picking the laptop up and putting it on his coffee table. "Guess I fell asleep." He narrows his eyes. "Where are you?"

"Out! With Matt!"

Richie wants to ask who the hell Matt is but the camera is on the guy before he gets the chance.

"Look, Matt, it's my boyfriend," he hears Eddie say, "the guy I was telling you about!"

Richie has a moment of disconnect. "Uh," he says cleverly.

Matt leans closer. "Wait, holy shit, you really are Richie Tozier." He grins. "When Eddie said he was dating a celebrity, I didn't believe him."

"Fuck you!"

"Uh, hi?" Richie says. He's still reeling from 'boyfriend' and 'dating.' "Sorry, who are you again?"

Eddie turns the phone back, his face swims into view unsteadily. "My new manager! I hired him last week, he's gonna manage the New York branch when I leave."

"Okay, you're screaming."

"I'm celebrating!" he yells, raising a glass. He knocks it back and drains it to prove his point.

It's loud, Richie can hear the sounds of other people talking and laughing. He guesses they're in a bar. "Can you go outside or something? I can barely hear you."

Eddie's nodding as he gets to his feet. "Shit, yeah, sorry," he says when he swallows. "Matt, I'll be right back."

"Take your time, boss. Nice to meet you, Mr. Tozier!"

Richie makes a face. "Did he just call me Mister Tozier?"

Eddie laughs. He leans against the cool bricks of the building once he gets outside. "Yeah, he's like that."

"So," Richie starts after a beat, "how'd it go?"

"Oh! We found a place!"

"A place?"

"Yeah, an office building," Eddie replies excitedly. "Matt found it on the computer. And! He put up an ad for people to email me their resumes. It was so much easier than I was making it, big shocker there, right."

Richie tilts his head for a second. "That's fantastic, Eds, but what about court?"

"Oh, oh! Richie!" Eddie's smile splits his face. "She signed the papers! She dropped everything she was asking for, a share in the company, all the alimony. She told me on the way out it's because she's already engaged, and all I could think was 'that poor schmuck." He laughs, open and cheerful. Richie doesn't know if he's ever seen him so happy.

"Wow, that's awesome. Congratulations."

Something in his voice must give him away. Eddie's eyes soften and his smile fades. "Oh, Rich, I'm so sorry. I was supposed to call. I was just so excited to get everything done, we worked right through lunch. I'm booking a flight to LA tomorrow. Richie, we're going to he together before the end of the week." His eyes are so bright and happy, Richie wants to drown himself in them.

"That's- Wow, Eds, that's amazing." He pauses. "You're amazing." Eddie's eyes start to water and Richie figures he must be way drunker than he's letting on. "Wait, how are you video chatting from your phone?"

Eddie blinks. "Oh, there's an app for it."

"Yes, I know there's an app for it. How in the hell did you know there was an app for it? The only app you have on your phone is a calculator."

"Matt downloaded it for me. I saw your text and mentioned I needed to call you, so he showed me how to do it."

"That's great," Richie says flatly. "Matt's great."

"Yeah, he really is a whiz at the technology stuff."

"That's what happens when you hire a 20 year old."

"He's 25." He considers Richie a moment. "Wait, what was that?"

"What was what?"

Eddie eyes him. "That tone was hostile and, like, jealous. Are you-"

"I'm definitely not jealous."

Eddie's eyes widen. "You're lying! That's your lying face!"

"I have a lying face?" Richie asks, raising his eyebrows.

"You do, and you're making it right now. Why would you be jealous of Matt?"

"I'm not!" he protests. He sighs. "I dunno, man, it's just like, the most important day of your life and that's who you're celebrating with."

"Richie," Eddie says. His voice is gentle, like trying to coax a wild animal into a cage. It makes Richie want to punch a wall at how ridiculously easy it is for Eddie to turn him to mush. "I would rather celebrate with you than anyone in the world. But, baby, you're not here."

Richie's mind short circuits so hard over the word 'baby' that it takes him a full 30 seconds to process the rest of that sentence. He scoffs a laugh, completely humorless. "Yeah, and whose fault is that?"

Eddie's face crumbles and he looks down and away from the camera, like he's ashamed. Like Richie is embarrassing him.

He instantly feels like a jackass. "I'm sorry, Eds, I'm not trying to rain on your parade. I was just worried, when you didn't call."

"I said I was sorry. I got busy."

"I texted you three times," Richie replies. He feels like a petulant housewife who spent all day cooking a dinner that her husband never came home to eat. He guesses that's exactly how he sounds, too.

Eddie turns his sad eyes on Richie. "I didn't even look at my phone until like fifteen minutes ago. I called as soon as I saw them."

"I know, I know." He shakes his head. "'I'm sorry, 'm being a dick."

Eddie smirks. "Imagine that."

Richie breathes out his nose and wills himself not to be angry. Always understanding, never upset. Always with a joke but never with a complaint. How he's been all year, all his life with Eddie, if he's honest with himself. Never too emotional or serious, just in case it overwhelms. "I'll let you get back. Just let me know when you book your flight, I'll clean the guest room."

"The guest room?" Eddie's face falls. "I have to sleep in my own room? You're that mad that I forgot to call?"

"No, it's not- I just didn't want to assume-"

"Or is it because I'm out with Matt?" Eddie continues like Richie hadn't even spoken. "Because I barely even know him, Rich. I was just in a good mood and we both needed to eat. It doesn't- I don't know if he's even gay."

Richie feels green. "He's cute," he says neutrally. "He's there. You're drunk."

"Richie."

He shakes his head, rubs his palms against the denim on his knees. "I know, I know. I'm being stupid because I miss you and I missed today and I- I'm sorry."

Eddie eyes go big and wistful. "I would never- Rich, I've spent the entire time since I've met him waxing poetic about you. Besides business shit, you're the only thing we've talked about. He's probably getting sick of it, honestly."

The sudden leap of his stomach makes him want to puke. "It's okay, Eds, you don't have to-"

"Richie," Eddie cuts him off. He pulls the phone closer to his face. "Richie, I'm crazy about you. You know, sometimes-" He laughs, blushes, glances away for a second. Richie wants to look at him forever. "Somtimes after we hang up, I jerk off to the memory of the sound of your voice. It's kind of pathetic. I'm completely gone on you, is the point I'm making."

"I-" he stops himself. He'd sworn at least a hundred times over the passed year that he wasn't going to say it until Eddie is in front of him. And he's going to keep that promise. "You're- you're everything, sweetheart. I- You know how I feel about you, don't you, Eddie?"

Eddie's smile is blinding. "Yeah, I think you waiting on me for almost a year while I got my shit together is a pretty big clue."

Richie grins back.

"I have to go settle the tab," Eddie says after a moment.

"You could call me," Richie tells him, "when you get back to your room. Jerk off to my actual voice, instead of the memory. I could say something worth jerking off to."

Pink rises on Eddie's cheekbones and flushes down onto his neck, right where Richie wants to bite him. "Thanks, now I have to go back in there at half mast."

"Oh, you are so very welcome. No need to thank me. The pleasure's all mine, really." The sad thing is, he isn't lying. Nothing gets him going faster than the mere idea that Eddie wants him. The evidence of it, the confession, has him rock hard in his pants already.

"You're insufferable."

"Insatiable, Edward. The word is insatiable."

Eddie rolls his eyes with a chuckle. "I'm going to call you in 45 minutes," he promises.

Richie nods. "I'll have my script ready. The never ending list of things I'd do to corrupt the pure and innocent Eddie Kaspbrak."

"Insufferable!" He pauses, still smiling even though he's griping. "45 minutes."

"I'll be here, Eds." He flushes with the honesty of it. "I'll always be here."

[mithliya]

hey so i saw that you commented on a post “i’m so sick of people comparing lesbians not wanting to date men with ppl not wanting to date black ppl” and this literally happened with some online radfems i know. i said that sometimes with a person doesn’t find another poc attractive or worth to be on their dating pool that can be racism, but yup if you’re a racist just don’t date the race you have prejudices over. stay away. and no one is forcing whites too date poc to be woke, but it can be racism if you never consider dating a person who’s not white and two or three radical feminists said that what i was saying was the same shit like TRAs say about not wanting to suck dick if you’re a lesbian. this made me so mad and ive never wanted to be on groups with on-line feminists i don’t know ever again. like ppl really be out here making corrective rape sound the same as not seeing a race as good as the other bc u were taught to think they are uglier and inferior. we were literally dehumanized bc we aren’t white, like we are called monkeys and a lot of names here.

not even just white ppl, theres many poc ive talked to who will say the most racist shit n then go “that’s why id never date someone that’s [racial group]” like.. again they can date or not date whoever they want and it’s good they’re not dating those groups seeing as they’d clearly subject them to their prejudice of they did, but also no one has to quietly nod while hearing someone say racist or whatever else shit in that context. if a guy said idk “id never date a woman that isnt a virgin because i don’t like saggy meat flaps” or some shit id be like what the fuck no that isn’t true and that’s misogynistic and somehow the women on here would understand that’s not me or any other woman begging him to fuck us, that’s simply calling out prejudice. same thing when i criticised someone when they said “id never date an asian, i feel like they’re dolls or aliens, not really human” or “i wouldn’t date a pakistani, they’re so backwards and violent” or whatever else… im not telling them to go date or fuck someone they’re not open to, im simply pointing out their blatant prejudice.

theres a very blatant difference between criticising someone expressing prejudiced beliefs in reference to their dating preferences, and literally expecting gay people to change our sexual orientations & then calling us names + harassing us for not putting ourselves thru what is basically conversion therapy. sexual orientation is one thing, sexual preferences are another. and people on here seem to get this when referring to kinksters, misogynistic men, and things relevant to misogyny but when it relates to other things like race, it’s somehow too far. we shouldn’t be inadvertently telling TRAs that they’re right in thinking homosexuals are just prejudiced by playing into their argument that asking gay people to change their sexual orientation is = to questioning someone being blatantly prejudiced.