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bucky-hues · 3 years ago

Text

stucky fic recs

here are some stucky fic recs! as always, be sure to read the warnings for each fic <3

one shots

finding home | @thedamageofherdays

cap steve x modern bucky

After he is caught in a terrible rainstorm while hiking, Bucky is glad to find shelter at the cottage Steve shares with his daughter and his dog. Bucky ends up finding so much more than just a safe place to spend the night.

x | @dreadlockholiday

steve x bucky

Request: Bucky looking through a glossy magazine and saying something like "God, can you imagine being paid for just looking cute?" And without thought Steve replies, "you'd be a millionaire" and Bucky just blushes furiously while Steve's all like 😳 *oh no, I just said that out loud*

x | @dreadlockholiday (18+)

steve x bucky

Bucky finds his BFF Steve's sketchbook... and it's full of nothing but sketches of Bucky... naked.

sweethearts | @musette22

steve x bucky

Steve confesses his feelings to Bucky using sweethearts

my moon, my man | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

AU meet-cute. Strangers on a Train, but with less murder and more sexual tension.

make it till you fake it | AggressiveWhenStartled (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”

things my heart used to know | Nightwing11 (AO3)

steve x bucky

In a world where soulmates can communicate telepathically with their partners, Steve Rogers has always had Bucky Barnes with him, a calming voice in a sea of turmoil. And, when Bucky falls off the train during World War II, Steve experiences deafening silence for the first time.

Now, after crashing a plane in the Arctic to save the world and being frozen for 70 years, Steve’s still trying to figure out how to live without Bucky there. His new friends are trying to help him adjust, to move on. And he thought he was doing better, he really did.

So, why is he suddenly hearing Bucky’s voice again?

catfish | @buckmebxrnes (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is a famous movie star, known for his role as Captain America. Bucky Barnes is a bored law student who drinks too much wine. Bucky gets on match.com to boost his confidence. What he doesn't expect is a guy using Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating profile. Bucky decides to mess with the guy. After all, what idiot uses Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating site?

Not like it's really him, right? Bucky may need more wine.

let's go have fun | @sebastanbucky

steve x bucky

“Nat wanted me to-” Nat clears her throat and he rolls his eyes. “I wanted to tell you something.” He looks at Steve with a look he hopes says ‘play along’. “Okay. What did you want to tell me?” Bucky has to take a deep breath to keep from laughing again, it helps with his performance as Nat nods encouragingly at him. “I’m gay.” He says, making his voice sound shaky and weak.

the way you came around | sokaless (AO3)

steve x bucky

After a while, Bucky says, “You know, this song sounds like it was written for you.” “That's funny,” Steve remarks. “I chose it because it reminded me of you.” Steve gives Bucky an iPod full of his favourite songs from the 21st century to help him deal with his nightmares. Bucky has a new mission- to find out who Steve is in love with, because there are a few too many unrequited love songs on that iPod.

stuck on you | wearing_tearing (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

you have the place next to my place | justanotherStonyfan (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

prompt: “We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

Captain America helps the Vet next door.

you’ve got (30) new matches | williamkaplans (AO3)

steve x bucky

When everyone finds out Steve's bi thanks to Bucky's recovering memories, Natasha kicks up her match-making into high gear. Steve has zero luck, but Natasha won't give up, especially when Sam (jokingly) suggests online dating. It isn't long before Steve finds someone, a someone who seems eerily familiar.

perfectly right wrong number | melonbutterfly (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

put your number in my phone | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve tucks his phone back into his pocket and turns back to the computer. He only has to click a few times before he finds the link to the questionnaire and opens it, inputting the participant number before hitting next. The beginnings of the consent form fills the page, and all Steve has left to do now is wait for the participant— one James Barnes, according to the website— to show up.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t end up having to wait very long. James Barnes shows up ten minutes early and knocks on the door before cracking it open and peeking in.

“Oh, hi,” he says, when he spots Steve sitting at the desk. He pushes the door open all the way and steps into the room just as Steve spins in the chair to face him.

“Um, I’m, uh, a bit early, but I’m here for the decision making study,” James continues, clear blue eyes flickering around the room before landing on Steve again. The skin between his eyebrows crinkles up a little, and god, Steve probably shouldn’t find his uncertainty as cute as he does. “Am I in the right place?”

wouldn’t it be nice | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"You are never going to believe what just happened," Bucky bemoans, shaking his head. He's at Steve's side in a moment and doesn't bother to give any warning before he dramatically falls into Steve's lap. Steve just barely manages to save his book from getting squashed.

"What is it?" Steve asks, matching Bucky's dramatic tone. "What am I not going to believe?"

"I just got off the phone with Natasha," he starts. "She cancelled on me!" Bucky throws his arms up, nearly smacking Steve in the face in the process.

Steve carefully places his hand on Bucky's forearm and lowers it away from his face.

"You're kidding," he says, a frown curving onto his lips at the news.

"I wish I was," he sighs. Bucky presses his lips together into a disappointed line and deflates against the back of the couch, slinking down Steve's thighs a little. "Who goes to Coney Island alone? How pathetic is that?"

Steve snorts, earning a glare from Bucky, and pats Bucky's thigh. "Aw, don't be such a sourpuss, Buck," he says. "Who said anything about going alone?"

all jokes aside | darksknight (AO3)

steve x bucky

"Before we know it Banner’s gonna be makin’ insinuations.” (Everyone "jokes" about Steve and Bucky being in a relationship until, eventually, they admit that they are.)

barnes & rogers and the goddamn truth

steve x bucky (teacher au)

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

in the shadows | DragonWannabe (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Five times they thought they were almost caught, one time someone found out, and one time they didn't have to hide.

OR:

Bucky and Steve grew up in a time when people like them went to jail.

single and looking | Jaiden_S (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

"Bucky held his place with his index finger and turned the magazine over to check the date on the cover. It was brand new, just out this month. An unexpected cord of anxiety tightened in Bucky’s chest. Single and looking? Frantically, he flipped back to the article. What exactly was Steve looking for? According to the article, Steve’s dream girl should be intelligent, altruistic, well-versed in current events and have a wicked sense of humor. Oh, and he had a thing for high heels and red lipstick. Bucky’s stomach churned as he re-read the article. Was that really what Steve wanted? Make-up and stilettos?"

A slightly sappy tale of two utterly besotted super-soldiers who excel at miscommunication.

these american dreams (ain’t no white picket fences left for me) | kariye (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

In which Bucky has a house, a dog, an herb garden, and a serious case of insomnia. Welcome to Havensport, Indiana (population 8,294), where Tom’s Neighborhood Grocer stays open all night, little old ladies call the car shop to get their refrigerators repaired, and the heat of summer days and the length of summer nights can make you think that this perfect world will last forever.

i’ve been careless with a delicate man | paraxdisepink (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Steve lets SHIELD think he and Bucky were boyfriends so they’ll let him see the Winter Soldier in medical.

knock on wood | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers lives a quiet, steady life, until his next door neighbour moves in and starts having incredibly energetic sex every night. All Steve wants is for him to move his bed away from the wall so the damn headboard doesn't knock a hole through his wall.

progressively bigger keys | spinawren (AO3)

steve x bucky

“A very little key will open a very heavy door.” ― Charles Dickens, Hunted Down

Steve and Bucky, it appears, have less need for a key and more use for a battering ram in trying to come out of the closet.

(The one where Steve tries to do one thing (one thing!) without causing a national ruckus, but the press are determined to see Bucky as Steve's best friend. And nothing more.)

stucky discover gay rights | Alicia_Borealis (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Then, why-” Steve stopped himself and looked at Bucky, who had tears rolling freely down his cheeks. “We’re- we’re not sick?”

“Wait, what?” Tony asked.

“Being a homosexual, it isn’t… wrong?”

The story of how Steve Roger's loved and lost Bucky, then how he got him back and then how he realised he was allowed to love him after all.

thursday nights with bucky barnes | Ellessey (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

to seek a nood-er world | jehans (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Send noodz

Steve has been staring at his phone for the last six minutes, eyes narrowed so much they’re almost closed at this point, trying to figure out what the hell Bucky means. Noodz? What the fuck are noodz?

Listen, Steve is at least marginally aware of modern pop culture. He’s heard of nudes — not that nudes are exactly a modern invention; artists have been creating them for millennia — and he does know that people tend to misspell words to be cute or funny. They did that when he was young, too. Because time is a flat circle, apparently.

But, wait—does that mean…?

No. Not possible. Bucky isn’t asking Steve to send him…nudes.

Right?

tied ‘round your throat | sleepypercy (AO3) (18+)

police officer steve x serial killer bucky

Steve's a small-town police officer trying to track a serial killer who's been in Steve's bed the whole time.

much tattoo about nothing | Deisderium (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

the perfect man | Ellessey (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Setting up a dating profile is decidedly not in Bucky's skill-set, but against all odds he manages to connect with someone who makes the one-night stand he thought he wanted feel like not nearly enough.

kiss me and take off your clothes | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is dared to send a dick pic to a blog which critiques dick pics (run by none other than Bucky Barnes). Hilarity ensues.

i can’t dare to dream about you anymore | steveandbucky (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve considers himself to be a pretty open-minded guy, which is why he can't quite understand why he feels so uncomfortable whenever he sees his gay roommate kissing guys. He's not homophobic, but how else can he explain the way his stomach twists at the sight?

It takes him a while to catch on.

exam room b | steveandbucky (AO3)

modern steve x nurse bucky

“Wait, what do you mean he asked for me?”

“He asked if the cute male nurse with the ponytail was working today. I assume he meant you.”

kickstart my heart | Kalee60 (AO3) (18+)

doctor steve x modern bucky

Bucky’s Wednesday wasn’t off to a great start. Not only did he wake up in a hospital with his annoyed best friend staring down at him, his treating Doctor just happened to be way too familiar, and the reason for that was slightly mortifying.

With misunderstandings in the air, a snarky nurse who is a pain in his butt and the ugliest neck brace known to man attached to his body. There was no way his Wednesday was ever going to improve. Could it?

you make me feel.. | kalika_999 (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

All Steve wanted was to take a breather, decompress after a mission and go out for a jog in the rain. He wasn't expecting to hide out in a bookstore filled with new and used books or that the employee that worked there thought he was an absolute loser and didn't even realize he was insulting Captain America.

nothing in the world that could stop it | rainbow_nerds (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky just wanted to send his best friend a picture of his cat being an idiot while he was taking a bath. Was it really his fault for forgetting the full length mirror right opposite the tub?

rescue me and hold me in your arms | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky is on the worst date of his life, and what he really needs of for this waitress to get the message he's sending her with his mind to rescue him. She doesn't, but she does send someone to extract him from a night of torture...

odd ways | peterbparker (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“And it would have been an amazing night with my son if he wasn’t distracted by the hot guy on the other side of the room,” Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “He’s been looking over at you for the past fifteen minutes.”

Bucky choked on the mouthful of beer he had just taken.

“What?” he croaked. Things were starting to make a little more sense now.

“Right?” Sarah said, waving her hand towards her son. “He completely ignored my garden stories because he’s been making eyes at you so I decided to come over and introduce myself.”

series

rare is this love (keep it covered) | @musette22 (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

It’s 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

coming up easy | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

4 minute window | @cesperanza

steve x bucky

"Look, if they catch me," Bucky muttered, "they're either going to kill me or they're going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can't."

swapped | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

if u wanted my number u couldve just asked

u didnt have to steal my whole phone ;)

Steve stared down at his phone, confused. He didn't recognize the number – except, oh wait, he really did. That was his number. On his phone.

He flipped the phone over, then slid one hand down his face. Not his phone.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

[stupid fucking] brooklyn hipster bros | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky's mother gives him an ultimatum. Bucky doesn't respond well.

All Barneses are stubborn assholes, Steve observes, as though he doesn't see the irony of calling someone else stubborn. Or an asshole.

And Bucky can't even deny he is a total asshole for lying to his mother about dating Steve just so he doesn't have to bring someone else to her wedding, but damn if he's not going to give the lie everything he has.

brought to brightness | eyres (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

slide to answer | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

how to woo the winter soldier | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky

“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.

“What,” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.

“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.

Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

all these things that i’ve done | @not-withoutyou

steve x bucky

Steve was the patron saint of waiting too long. Bucky was atoning for his sins. Maybe they’d both been forsaken, abandoned by the light. Maybe they’d find a way back to each other again.

Post civil war, if things had gone differently.

find a way (to make it back home) | belwrites (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (college au)

Fresh off a year abroad, Head Resident Assistant Steve Rogers finds his senior year of college to be full of changes, and he's not just talking about the growth spurt. He's more concerned with the fact that his best friend...isn't talking to him? Is dating his ex? May or may not be missing an arm?

In which Steve has no fucking clue what's going on, but he's trying, Bucky learns how to communicate with his best friend again, and everyone quietly panics about the future.

is it pretending if i already want you? | OhCaptainMyCaptain (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they're never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event

the roommate | layersofart, Niitza (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

dear mr. postman | odetteandodile (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend.

fate will play us out | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

the avengers hate club | notebooksandlaptops (AO3)

pop star steve x modern bucky

Bucky falls hopelessly for Steve and starts an Avengers hate club with the lead singer of the Avengers.

songbird | chicklette (AO3) (18+)

modern steve x musician bucky

At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Well, one of them anyway. He’s a man who’s given up on finding joy in his life, and if it wasn’t for his kid, he’d have probably found a way to quit the world a long time ago.

Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is, other than some musician his mom liked a lot. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top.

Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

the right partner | LeeHan (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x ws bucky

Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

Date Bucky Barnes. Defeat the Winter Soldier. Bring down Hydra. How hard could it be?

#stucky fic #stucky fic recs #steve x bucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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bitchesgetriches · 3 years ago

Note

I've had a dream job for about four years now in a charity. I love what I do, love my boss, colleagues, I develop my skills daily, I get more responsibility, have promotion opportunities, it's 100% from home, and the salary is something I can live on but I’ve recently realised that unless I’m in a senior role I won’t get paid what I want and I’m money motived. Took me a while to admit it but here we are. I’ve asked my boss if we could have a salary talk and she replied in a way that sounded like a raise won’t be happening for a while. I did get a raise a year ago which I appreciated but then I’ve found out I’m among the lowest earners because silly me has never negotiated the offered sum, while I’m doing super star work and I’m very smart:)

So, I've recently spotted a job I am very curious about. It's a for-profit company, but they essentially strive for the same goal which is my personal value as well. But in this new job I'd be developing new skills, meeting more people (it's 50% in the office) and establishing new connections. And it's more money, but might end up the same or less as I might have to move, but because it's for profit, there might be more growth potential in the future. I've been feeling a bit stuck at home, especially with covid, not being able to meet people, and thought it would be a good shake-up opportunity. Plus I may be able to negotiate a relocation package or something if I’m the best candidate. So I applied.

I now feel so guilty and regretting applying already. I feel like I'm cheating on my current organisation, as they've treated me to well, and it's such a good stable job with nothing really wrong with it (apart from the obvious $$). But my ambition to see what else I'm capable of, to develop new skills and increase my earning potential is driving me crazy - I feel that they’re not going to pay me what I want unless I threaten to leave. Also I’ve familiarised myself with your blog and the concept of job hopping to get to a good raise is a sweet one. It seems that I might get “a raise” but it will be a tiny one as it’s new hires that get all the money. I feel that my organisation is using my high value skills and use my age as a reason to pay me a junior level salary.

But at the same time, shouldn’t I give my boss a chance to at least hear my ask? The applications close today, I am quite a strong candidate, but the salary conversation might not happen for a month. Should I stick it out and see how I get get to their top pay level?

My main question is... should we leave comfort of a “perfect role” to pursue our dreams of a bigger and better future? I may need to work in a an office which don’t particularly want, and it may be way out of my comfort zone, but it will offer some connections to some super influential people who might potentially hire me in the future for even more money:)

Thanks so much in advance!

Pookie muffin, we're so glad you got in touch. You're clearly agonizing over this decision, and you're overwhelmed by emotions and options. We're here to help!

First things first: never hesitate to apply for a job. Especially if you already have one. Here's why:

1. Applying for jobs is a SKILL. You need to keep in practice.

2. There's no use worrying about what MIGHT happen. Until you have an actual bite in your job search, leaving your current employer is just a hypothetical. There's no reason to freak out if concrete steps haven't been taken. So until you actually KNOW that leaving your job is a real possibility, don't waste your energy worrying about it.

3. You can always leverage a job offer for a raise or promotion. That said, even if you DO use an offer as leverage... you STILL don't have to take the offer or leave your employer even if they don't give you the raise!

4. It gives you OPTIONS.

All of which is to say: applying for this new job is the right thing to do.

Next--and this is incredibly important--your employer is not your family. You don't owe them anything but that which you're contractually obligated to give. And I guarantee your contract or the terms of your employment do NOT dictate that you feel guilty about leaving or beholden to them in any way.

Job hopping is a perfectly normal part of any career! You're not committing treason by leaving a company. They'll be fine! And look at it this way: by vacating your position, you're giving another young nonprofit worker a chance to advance.

Lastly, you say you'd feel guilty about leaving because they've treated you "so well." But, uh... no they haven't. Read your own words. They take you for granted. They don't give you the time and respect you deserve. Your boss is making you wait a month to discuss your future! This is all the proof I need that you can be completely absolved of guilt.

I hope that all makes you feel better. Here's your homework: read the following articles with a nice snack and a beverage and STOP FEELING GUILTY:

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

I Hate My Job and I Don't Know How To Leave It: A Confession

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hookedonapirate · 3 years ago

Text

Sneak Peek—All In

Chapter 5

A/N: I meant to finish this chapter like two weeks ago but then I ended up working a ton so didn't have enough time it energy for it.

As requested, I've included some background of Emma and her family in this chapter, how David became a mob boss and what James' role is, ect.

Hope you enjoy the sneak peek 🙂

Killian carries his beautiful bride over the threshold, her arms wrapped around the back of his neck as she giggles and teases him for being traditional.

He’s glad he didn’t have to worry about their luggage or gathering his things around, since pretty much everything he owns is back in Storybrooke. But Mary Margaret put a bag together for him and placed their luggage in the suite. Since Emma went shopping for Killian with her mother, it was a good way for her to prove how much she knows her significant other’s style. She may not know much about him, but she knows he prefers jeans, fitted t-shirts and black leather jackets. Though he’s not sure she knows what size he wears. So it’ll be interesting to see what she bought for him.

“I’m always a gentleman,” he assures, kicking the door shut behind them.

She snort-laughs. “You weren’t a gentleman the night we met.” She pats her belly. “If you were, I wouldn’t be pregnant.”

He gingerly sets her down on her feet and chuckles. “Love, if I recall, you didn’t want me to wear a condom and said you were on birth control when we were in the elevator.”

“Which I was, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about you asking me to your hotel room after we met only five minutes prior.”

He cocks his head to the side. “It had been more than five minutes. Besides, you weren’t exactly making it easy on me. If your uncle had left sooner, your hand would’ve been on my crotch.”

“Oh, yeah, I made it so hard on you.” She rolls her eyes.

“Aye, you made it very hard, indeed,” he quips with a smirk.

Her cheeks flush, and a shy smile overtakes her face, but she doesn’t have a retort as she walks away from him.

When he finally tears his eyes away from her, he takes the time to look around the suite and is in complete awe. It’s bigger than his entire cottage in Storybrooke. Emma doesn’t even seem to be fazed by all of this. Probably because she’s used to living in the lap of luxury. The penthouse she owns is much nicer than this hotel suite.

He scopes out the rest of the suite, thinking how unnecessary this all is, considering they’ll only be here for one night and will be leaving early tomorrow morning for their flight to Florence. So he highly doubts they’ll make use of the massage room, the dining room or the walk-in closet, which is the size of his entire bedroom. They won’t even make use of the granite wet bar, considering Emma’s pregnant. And is it really necessary to have two bathrooms, plus a powder room, or to have a large, deep-soaking tub and a separate walk-in shower? Okay, those things they might actually make use of.

Killian meets Emma in the bedroom and gulps when he sees the super king-size bed. Is it really necessary to have a bed this big, especially for a newlywed couple who will most likely spend part of the night in the middle of the bed making love and the rest of the night snuggled close, most likely in the middle again? At least, that’s how he envisions it.

Emma’s gazing wistfully out the balcony doors, which afford a colorful view of the Las Vegas strip.

Killian steps up behind her and wraps his arms around her frame, kissing her cheek. He’s not sure if this is exactly what he should be doing because even though they married for convenience, even though she’s pregnant with their babies and even though they’ve been together intimately before, they still barely know each other.

“You okay, love?”

Emma grasps his hands and leans into his touch, turning her head slightly to peer up at him with a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He gets lost in her sparkling emerald greens for a moment, trying to forget why they’re actually here or how they got here, or what’s expected of them. He just wants to enjoy his night with the mother of his children—his wife—not wanting to allow a dark cloud to hang over them.

Emma blinks a few times and faces forward, snapping back to reality. “You know, we don’t have to pretend behind closed doors. You don’t have to pretend to like me.”

Killian’s smile wanes, his heart dropping into his stomach as she pulls away from him. “What do you mean, love?”

She turns around and walks over to the bed, shrugging as she sits on the edge. “Well, I know you hate my family, and I don’t blame you for that. My uncle tricked you and threatened you, and my father tried to kill you.”

When she tries to remove her shoes, her skirts get in the way and she struggles to reach her feet, so he kneels down in front of her and undoes the straps. His heart pounds as he takes her ankle in one hand and slips off her shoe with the other, his skin tingling from touching her. Even her ankles are perfect. “What do they have to do with how I feel about you?”

She scrunches her nose as though the answer is obvious. “Everything. They’re my family.”

“See, Emma, that’s where you’re wrong.” After he removes the other shoe and sets the pair aside, he rises and sits next to her on the bed. “You shouldn’t be faulted for your family’s doings. The fact you were raised by them and are nothing like them shows how strong and independent you are. You don’t let the family business define who you are.”

She looks away from him and peers down at her hands as she toys with the fabric of her dress, sadness clouding her face. “Well, it was easy not to let the darkness take hold of me since I've had to watch my dad battle it almost my whole life.”

#cs ff #captain swan #sneak peek #all in

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niyaeliza · 4 years ago

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Revenge Thinspo Imagine

A/N: Heeeeyyyyyyyy peoplesss. I’m back ._. on my bullshit. But I’m on a fast, it’s been two days so far, I’m debating if I’m gonna go another day or if I’m gonna have low cal soup idk yet. Figured I’d write thinspo to get my mind off of food. So I hope you enjoy!!!

_______________________________________________________

Imagine This:

You’re ex broke up with you because they didn’t like your appearance. You had a beautiful face, and a wonderful personality but they couldn’t deal with being with someone bigger. Out of anger and hurt, you decided to show them what they lost. The golden body that was hidden underneath the fat. So that’s what you did, fasting, running, all kinds of exercising, eating under 500 a day. As soon as you knew it, you managed to lose over 80 pounds.

Everytime you dress up, even in something as simple as black jeans and a white crop shirt, you look like a model. But you wanted to actually dress up today, you put on a gorgeous black skin tight dress (or all black suit) that shows your waistline going in and your hipbones protruding slightly. You calves and thin yet strong. The soft mounds of your breast are perky and you didn’t even have to wear a bra with it. You gracefully slide on your thigh high heels that have sparkles on them. You throw on a leather jacket and stare at yourself in the mirror.

Wow, it’s crazy how different you look. Your hair is pulled back showing off those beautiful cheekbones. Your nose is tiny with big doe eyes, not to mention those nice pouty lips that you glazed over with red lipstick. You grab your phone and take a picture in your big mirror. You post it on Instagram and immediately after that it starts blowing up. Old people who used to make fun of you asking how’d you do it. Those who turned you down are now asking for a chance with you. And that ex, still in your DMs saying how they miss you. Funny how the tables turn.

As you grab your wallet/purse, you look at yourself one more time and smile. You meet your friends outside, complimenting them on their outfits. You weren’t the big friend of the group anymore, you finally looked like you belonged there. A group of skinny beauties that could pass off as models. Your friends gush on how pretty and sexy you look and all you can do is blush. You and your friends make your way towards the bars that are open. Getting stares from everyone as you glide across the concrete sidewalks. When you and your friends get to a bar that seems to be popular with people. You walk up to the door and look at that, the person who’s in charge of entrance stares at you, their face shows awe and interest in you. You being the confident beauty you are, give them a little wink and smile.

Your friends giggle, glad that you have finally came out of your shell. The door person says they’ll let you in for free, if you give them their number. You smile and give it to them. You and your friends get in for free no charge. Immediately heading to the bar, the people at the bar looks at you and your friends. Other girls and guys stare in envy, awe, and some interest. The rest of night goes on with you and your friends dancing, singing, and drinks for free (because being skinny and pretty gets you plenty of free things).

When the bar closes, you and your friends go out walking in the city, you’re not out of breath because you work out almost everyday. “Let’s get something to eat!” One of your friends exclaim. You nod softly. You guys walk into a restaurant, and immediately eyes flock to you. People can’t help but to stare. You and your friends get seated and you look over the menu. You immediately go for the kids menu. No one is gonna question it because youre tiny, it’s expected to not eat a lot of food. You got for a salad and half a portion of kids pasta. Sipping on your water. You don’t freak out over the calories because you saved your calories today for this. You go to your phone and see that the person from the club messaged you. You tell your friends and they scream with excitement, “What did they say?!” They asks. You start to blush. “They asked to go on a date tomorrow.” And your friends giggle excitedly. You say yes because you find them attracted.

“Y/N?” You hear some one call your name. Your friends faces goes from happy to sour. All of them look mad or annoyed. You’re confused as you turn around. It’s your ex. “I thought that was you! Wow you look so good.” Your ex says. You smile softly. “Thanks” you say shortly turning back around.

“Wait, I was hoping we could talk?” Your ex says. You look at your friends and roll your eyes. They chuckle. You and your ex go towards the bathroom sign. “What do you want to talk about?” You ask your ex. Your ex then rubs at the back of their neck, shyly they say, “I hate how we ended. It was wrong of me to treat you that way. I really miss you, I can’t see myself with anyone else but you. Would you consider taking me back?”

You blink at them blankly. You can see sweat beads from at their forehead. You chuckle, “I don’t think so. I need someone who likes me for me, not my body. You didn’t want to be with me because of my body and look how the roles have changed. Now it’s my body that makes you want me back.” You then shake your tiny head, you give them a soft kiss on the cheek, and you tell them: “It was nice seeing you, have a good night ok?” And you then walk back to your group of friends who stare at your proudly.

As you make your way to your friends, you ex stares at you with sad puppy dog eyes, kicking theirselves in the butt for losing you. Everyone stares at the girl who looks so much like a model, beauty that is unreal and a body that’s wanted by everyone. As you sit down at the table, you think to yourself how different today would be if you didn’t change your ways and kept eating horribly. Luckily for you, you went on a diet, fasted, and worked out. You worked your ass off and now here you are reaping the benefits.

#thinspo imagines #thinspo #eating disoder things #not pro just using tags #i wanna be skinny #skinny #not pro just for myself

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battlestar-royco · 4 years ago

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IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS. LET'S TALK ABOUT NETFLIX'S SHADOW AND BONE.

8.7/10 ⭐️

spoilers for everythingggg under the cut! i'll be discussing its merits as an adaptation vs as a show, characters and plots, and the overall aesthetic and magic/world.

SHOW VS ADAPTATION:

i say this as someone who knows all the books very well and has been in the fandom for nearly a decade, so i'm biased. but. s&b functions better as an adaptation than as a standalone show. alina's plot moves so well, and satisfyingly renders so many iconic scenes and sites from s&b. the worldbuilding is also pretty easy to fall into, with a forgivable amount of voiceover/infodump. and, hurting budget aside, i mostly liked this visual interpretation of the gv.

(sidebar: the in-universe racism... doesn't work. i tried to view it in good faith but imo it was very heavy-handed. if it was framed like, "wow it's a SHU WOMAN saving the world!!!" it might've been better, but it's just racism without recompense. and it's a terrible look to make other characters of color racist. i just. why?)

as for the crows, however... i'm just not sure how strong they'll be for new viewers? i totally understand why they were included, and i really like certain connections the show made between the two series. it was a great decision to introduce the druskelle in the first Cut scene, and showing nina as a ravkan spy.

the new crows stuff felt in character, but i think the show is at its height when it sticks to the books. the first couple episodes switching between tgt and proto-soc gave me whiplash, but luckily it got more organic as it progressed. if i didn't know and love all the crows before going in, i wouldn't be that invested in them based on season 1. aside from a couple fantastic scenes, it really felt like the writers were trying to make fetch happen for like 4 episodes before they figured out what to do with everyone. plus, ravka is such a different vibe from ketterdam--tonally, sartorially, technologically, etc they didn't totally feel like the same world. it was pretty jarring. although i prefer the duo to the trio, s&b is alina's story and she is That Bitch who walked so the crows could fly. so i didn't hate their inclusion but the shoehorned content did at times disservice both plots, imo.

CHARACTERS:

way too many, which is yet another consequence of smushing everyone into one season.

MAL/ALINA/DARKLING: first and foremost, and i PROMISE i'm not saying this just to be a hater, but there needed to be less malina. i'll be the first to say that show!mal really has what book!mal wants. the new pre-fold scenes were so good. li and renaux have amazing chemistry, and their laughter over stolen grapes was a highlight. his stag plot was also good. THAT SAID, there were way too many keramzin flashbacks and malina parallels like.. 🤢🤢why do they want us to love mal so much. for what. they only needed the teacup scene but they clearly thought they were doing something with micro-aggressions and that meadow shot they showed like 6 times. knowing mal's original character, and how they scrubbed his show counterpart almost to the point of flawlessness, he's just never going to be my fave even though i do respect what they did with him. also, why were there like 5 fake deaths for this dude? boring.

the darkling was great. ben barnes knows what the fuck he's about, and he funneled manipulation and charisma into every scene. as for the backstory: at first i really wasn't feeling it, but i eventually did warm up to it and i'm so glad they showed it because oh god the cut and the creation of the fold were SO FUCKING ICONIC. also, love love love the baghra development. WE LOVE TO SEE OLD WOMEN/MOMS WHO AREN'T "EVIL"/"CORRUPTED" BY THEIR MAGICAL POWERS!!!!!!! BITCH! it didn't have to be 12 minutes long though.

i honestly don't have much to say on alina. jml was excellent in her role and very true to the book. without her book narration she feels much more consistently written.

TRILOGY CHARACTERS: i really felt the lack of genya and zoya. genya's character and actress are perfectly layered and effective, even though their roles are relatively minor. i'm so looking forward to her razrushost moment, but i wish they'd laid more groundwork for it. (and i hope throw out the wig and just dye her hair next season.) also like. WHY KEEP THE IRRELEVANT MEAN GIRL/DARKLING THIRST PLOT FOR ZOYA??? AFTER ALL THE EFFORT THEY PUT INTO IMPROVING MAL? they sacrificed so much for malina at the expense of other characters. finally, it was interesting how they decided to kill marie. i love the tailor magic flex. but also they clearly just did that to emotionally manipulate us and connect the crows so. hm.

CROWS: speaking of! the crows storyline felt a little like filler. honestly i wish they waited to roll crows into later seasons. i'd prefer little foreshadowings about them, a la the druskelle cameo or the references to nina and matthias. introducing the crows so soon makes the ice court heist feel less special. the recruitment was super tight and pragmatic, so this felt a little fluffy/fanservicey. kaz also comes off as sooooo old again. especially without the vulnerability of his book counterpart, he just seems like a 40-year-old in a 20something body.

i was pleasantly surprised to find jesper my favorite crow. like wow.... second amendment rights for jesper fahey only!! i like all the crows but book!kanej are my faves by a long shot. they felt a bit stiff tbh, like the actors were a little uncomfy with each other and/or their exposition-heavy lines. however, the one scene that felt EXTREMELY kanej to me was when they killed that dude in the church holy fuck oh my god. WE STAN AN ANGSTY BATTLE COUPLE WHO ARE BOTH DEAD INSIDE. highlight for sure.

and i actually kinda loved helnik? i know helnik is controversial for very valid reasons, but i thoughy their dynamic was fantastic and they were among the strongest performers. it was much less overwhelming than the constantly interweaving kaz/inej/jesper imo. they need to fire their location scout though. those green screen mountains and beaches were um. interesting.

aesthetic and magic:

i really hope they get a bigger budget for costumes, cgi, and sets next season! the keftas are serviceable, but they look a little cheap at times. i will also never forgive ANY of the crows' hats. it's mostly just a personal aesthetic thing but god i fucking hate them. the darkling was best dressed, but in general i liked the ravkan look more than the kerch. why were the crows always in the most elaborate getups? why couldn't they just chill in their waistcoats??? they never seemed relaxed in the way alina and co did; the clothes never felt worn or broken in.

favorite sets: the darkling's room, the crow club, all the grisha tents, the matthias/nina ship, the church where inej killed the squaller, outdoor fountain where they told the story of the black heretic. the lighting was almost always right for each scene, and there was so much detail in every one of them.

THE MAGIC WAS SO COOL! my greatest beef is alina's light--it often looked so fake, and it washed out jml. oftentimes it was fluorescent or blue, and it was used as a forcefield or orb. it's supposed to be sunlight bro. what is so hard about that? the darkling's magic looked good, other than the fold. i've always imagined the fold more like a huge black fog rather than a literal wall. so that was a bit game of thronesy, but not terrible.

and can we talk about the amplifiers? amplifiers are my personal favorite gv lore but season 1 barely gets into them. they never mention the bear zoya slew, nor do they establish the unique strength of the stag, sea dragon, and firebird. BUT THE ANTLER COLLAR FUSED INTO ALINA'S SKIN WAS SUPER DARK AND MACABRE AND I KINDA LIKED IT? ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO WONDER HOW TF IS SHE GONNA SLEEP???

if you made it this far, thanks so much! that's all i have for today.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers

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themanicgalaxy · 3 years ago

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SPN 7X4 Defending Your Life

I'm making an exception today, because I've figured out QUITE a bit about my own stress response

oh right the monster Dean killed

also to recap: my period has every sign of starting(including cramps) but nothing, I've been horribly nauseous all day, I feel a hunger response when I'm DEFINITELY not hungry(stress eating and it's the only thing that makes the nausea subside) and headache(altho that could be the lack of sleep). Also emotions all over the place(Crying, happy, very on the hat etc)

and the WORST part is I can NEVER tell until I have physical reactions. I can NEVER TELL WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECTLY OK OR NOT FEELING ANYTHING

ooo chase scene

gHOST CAR

ooo good segway into intro

that cut coping mechanism does NOT seem like it's healthy

mONSTER OF THE WEEK

oh COME ON HERE's THE LYING

the visuals are cool

"license to kill"

no come on sam that was a good one.

"dead and sober, dead and crappy" no Dean, please, you need to figure that out

ah yes tortured soul

FL OW ER SH O P

that was suspicious

it's just because she's dead and dead at 10

the CAr

"makes you wonder if the guy who was drunk ran her over" *drinks beer*

O H H H H H HSIDOFAHPAS

GHOST RIDER

at least I know they're nerds, whoever wrote this

is it manifesting their guilty conscience

aw but the dog is so fluffy

*lies down, bounces back up again* lmaooo

Dean is Tired

didn't they DEAL With a ghost car?

it's people that kept going?

DEAN IS RUNNING ON SO MUCH EMPTY AHAHAHA

A H CUZ HE DIDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE THE GIRL HE KILLED

that took me as second

"If I ate apples" DEAN

also they're really doing license plate shots above how Cool the Impala is shots now, lil thing

"you won't even believe me" ahaha

...courtroom?

fUCKING NEAL'S TAVERNNNN

we kind of specialize in crazy ahaaha

"except that's complete crap"

"everyone judges all day long"

He just..takes punishment?

ahahah N O P E GREY AREA

no this is way more watchable

SA M SOUNDS SO TIRED AHAHA

*whispers* "stay put"

he DOES look good though

ok fine just gonna tune out the flirting

they ARE both pretty

is it that guy

the creepy guy in the shadows

how much is in scotch I have no idea

ah the red, what people were clawing

THAT'S NOT HOW OSIRIS WORKS but fine ok let's go

THAT'S NOT

ok fine

"it hones in on people who feel guilty, N OW WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE TO YOU" oh boy literally both of them got it that was hilarious

this does seem like he's talking himself into a role

the salt...might not work for osiris

shit she really is pretty

AH RED SAND ok ok yeah I see it ok

a h egyptian shit

ALL YOU NOTICED WERE THE SYMBOLS LMAOOO

THAT DOOR SLIDE WAS SO FUNNY

He's cool though, I like the pagan shit

"Sam, you're not a lawyer" "yes I was pre law" "pre"

"good one" "I saw that on the good wife"

THIS IS HILARIOUS

J O

oh no

the mining itself sucks but this concept is good

took his breathing away?

It reads a bit as excusing them for everything

She backs them up at least?

I miss her

see here's the thing, it kinda reads like they're out of ideas, but like...it's a good concept

ah so the stuff at the beginning was them showing their guilt

I like how he just says "them's the breaks"

yeah like Dean is ever gonna believe he's innocent

"dog food" oh they so desperately wanna say dog shit

"they want to be judged" echoes Dean

SAM IS TALKING COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS ASS

HE'S GETTING HIM OUT OF HIS GUILT COMPLEX OH THANK GOD FINALLY

"that it just...blows"

no one, including Dean, ever questions it, so the grief stews

he does actually have some way with words

Dean please tell the truth

mate I get the impulse but still

dammit

ahaha Temporary but Long Temporary

"make sure it's a sharp piece" lmaoo

man I miss Jo

ah here we go

sam: u h

JOOOO

"you deserve better" on both ends

Dean Eldest Daughter Syndrome

"hunters are never kids, I never was"

he does Internalize things

that's why we kin

90% crap

"i get rid of that what then" "you really wanna die not knowing" HOLY SHIT

HOLYSHIT OH MY GOD OH MYGOD

ah the gas stove

"he's making me do this" oH NO

"just kind of faded...maybe a little bit happier"

hell was Sam's slate? huh

"I kind of feel good, Dean" I am glad he's happy, I don't know if I agree with the message

1. SAMMM. Dean was acting off the shits, so he had to step up and exasperatedly handle everything, and piece stuff together. Like mans is actually quite smart and quite resourceful when he has to be, and it's nice seeing that. It's also fun FINALLY seeing him lighthearted again, even if I don't like how.

2. Dean's guilt complex. Man internalizes a lot of things, and while they BARELY make sense(thin veneer, easily cracked) he hides it enough so that no one asks(and he represses so he certainly doesn't), and he can continue feeling guilty. Now here's the thing. He feels guilty, Sam doesn't, the middle ground is where they should be(taking responsibility) and they like...never do it.

3. monster of the week. No but having monsters switch to grey instead of black and white, and having Dean comment on it is SO good, because he's like...that Masculine Parody/Ideal depending on who's writing him, and like he was written to be the hero. any gray was always overridden by that. But with kripke gone, they start actually doing grey, and there's nothing simple anymore. Like I like with how off the shits it got, they still kept the theme of "it's more grey now" but like kinda for real(where Dean and Osiris said the same thing). ALSO, I think it would be useful as a scale back. I know they'll not do it because EVEN BIGGER DBZ LAZER is fun, but I think having more monsters of the week by choice and not "oh god we have runtime" would be really good, because that's where this storyline SHINES! it's got a lot of characters, a lot of lore, and a lot of issues to pick through, a monster of the week is WAY more effective than a longer story, and would help the scaling back issue.

4. pontificating about the season/why it's easier to watch. Like is this season as good/vibey? probably not really, but honestly I can actually stand watching it. Like it's very cringe in places but also, it doesn't hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable as kripke stuff does. It matches the vibe of "after work/school show" perfectly for what it is.

5. the vibes/Osiris. I like the idea of osiris and going to the bars, and the courtroom and the RED! SAND!! I got that one. But I'd also like to say that Dean saying the SAME thing that osiris said was like...he's not villainized, but I think they're trying to make him slowly grow as a character. It's like sympathy/he sucks kinda/we like him for him a sa character and I think that was really neat.

also barkeep lady pretty holy hell

6. it felt a little bit like excusing tho. Like if Sam is the good one, then it felt like excusing them of the harm they cause people. I want them to change their behavior! not beat themselves up over it or think it's fine cuz he went to hell because of it!

I'm so glad Sam is happy again but N O

7. J O. the "no autonomy, he's making me do this," the being able to see through things(and no longer hungering for something that she doesn't really know) (like...she wants SOMETHING, has it crawling under her skin but doesn't know what, and that's gone when she's dead) and that whole thing where she asked Dean if he wanted to die as a persona. Oh my god.

8. Dean persona. Yeah the whole thing where he had to convince himself to be a womanizer, the "I"m 90% crap line" OH MY GODD THAT HIT. That man is also a persona. maybe a commentary on american masculinity in general, maybe not. Also, eldest daughter syndrome, he internalizes everything and everything is his responsibility("I didn't get a childhood")

I feel like you can also make an argument how trauma makes you the extreme of something(uncaring for smol sam, internalizing for Eldest Dean), and it breaks your ability to do what you need to(empathetically do your fucking job and not be pieces of shit).

I see why this show was so popular amongst mentally ill people(myself included) holy christ

#pawswatchesspn #7X4 Defending Your Life #tbh once I realized that Dean was tired because he'd gone out and secretly killed someone #I knew that someone was actually paying attention behind the scenes #I can't wait to watch this one again holy FIUCK IT WAS GOOD #I feel much better #also I have found out that Adam Glass's later episodes were Not Great #but based on the Dean they're going for now #This makes sense in context and while I don't like the message there are parts of this episode I really like #some of those fucking lines GOT me

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bakubabes-tatakae · 5 years ago

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The Demon’s Keeper (Part Six)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be added to the taglist for this feel free to let me know ! Happy to add anyone !

(Rin Okumura x Reader)

Summary: Rin Okumura is a hot headed demon who is hard to keep under control, only one person seems to be able to do it better than anyone, Y/N. For that, she’ll be known at the Demon’s Keeper, but what exactly does that entail for them?

AO3 Link

Part One, Part Two: *NSFW Ahead!*, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Part Six:

Word Count: 2219

As morning broke light it made its way through the cracks in the curtains and the sound of our alarm filled the room. Each beep from the alarm was like a jackhammer pounding in my head. This constant stress headache was going to be the death of me. Rin slowly started to stir, today was the day we left for True Cross University. He was nervous to say the least, but that was to be expected. I would have been worried if he wasn’t nervous. I felt Rin’s soft hand touch my arm. “Y/n, we have to get up. We’ve only got an hour before we have to leave. Mephesto will be here soon to get us.”

I grumbled and rolled over, grabbing the bottle of pain medicine off the nightstand along with the nearest water bottle. They went down with ease and Rin threw the blanket off of us. I cringed as the cold air hit my skin, almost hissing at him.

He ignored me and got up, throwing on the clothes that he had left out for himself before taking mine off the dresser and throwing them at me. As my clothes hit me he laughed, the look on my face anything but amused, making him laugh even more.

I grabbed the clothes from my lap and started dressing. I didn’t know what our new life would entail for us, but if I didn’t say I was as nervous as Rin was I would have been lying. “Rin,” He looked back at me with a goofy grin. “You should go check on Yukio and make sure he’s ready to go as well.”

“Yea.” He started for the door. “I’ll go see.”

He shut the door quietly behind him and I was left to my own devices. The sheer amount of emotions that I had been holding in lately wasn’t good for me, but my body didn’t want to seem weak. We had been through so much in such a short amount of time…

* * * * * *

I made my way downstairs and into the living room, the only light in the room came from the half open curtains in all the windows. Shiro had always been the one to make sure everything was bright and sunny when we had all woken up. Now that he was gone the darkness loomed over us. No one wanted to take on the roles that Shiro once held. Rin was standing in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of orange juice, leaning against the counter.

“Did you find Yukio?” I walked sluggishly over to the same counter, hopping up onto it. “We only have fifteen minutes before Mephesto is going to be here.”

Rin placed his empty glass into the sink and walked in front of me, placing his hands on my thighs. “From what the monks told me, they haven’t seen him all morning.”

“I bet he’s visiting Shiro. We’re talking about Yukio here, where else would he be?”

Rin placed his head on my collarbone and I placed my hands on his head, intertwining my fingers into his raven colored hair. “You’re right.” He looked up at me. “Want to just go wait outside? It’s pretty nice out”

I smiled. “Sure.” He helped me off the counter and grabbed our bags, following me out the front door.

The sunlight hit my face and the feeling was almost refreshing. It had been so long since Rin and I had just sat outside and taken in our surroundings. As we took in all the familiar sounds and sights we were interrupted by the sound of a car speeding our way. When we looked up we both thought our eyes had been deceiving us. A pink limo stood in front of the walkway and when the door opened and a person stepped out we realized we should have known who it was.

With the tip of his hate Mephesto Pheles stood before us, his white shoot shining brightly in the sun. “Well, well, well.” He smiled a tooth grin at the two of us sitting on the porch. “I see the sun's out. It’s a glorious say for new beginnings, wouldn’t you say?”

Rin stood up from the porch and took my hand, helping me up as well. He walked leisurely over to Mephesto. “You got a freaky car.”

I hooked my arm behind Rin’s back and glared at Mephesto. “How did you get us into True Cross University. I feel like we have a right to know what your connections are since we’re using them.”

He pointed his finger at us and spoke matter-of-factly. “I’m the director at True Cross University. That’s the official title anyway.”

Rin’s jaw dropped. “Huh?”

I took my hand under his chin and helped him shut it. Yukio’s voice jumped the both of us. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” He had a giant grin across his fast as he approached us. “I’m so glad this all worked out. Now the three of us can stay together.”

Mephesto turned away from the three of us and raised his voice, scaring some people walking by. “Come now my friends, True Cross University awaits!”

We all piled into the limo, the three of us keeping our distance from Mephesto. Yukio looked over to Rin. “What’s wrong?” If Rin thought he was hiding his annoyance it wasn’t working. Neither of us knew what could possibly have been wrong with him.

“Nothing.” Rin ignored the question and changed the subject. His favorite defense tactis. ‘Where were you this morning?”

“Visiting dad’s grave. Did you go?”

An upsetting noise came from Rin’s mouth as the realization hit him, it would probably be a while before he was able to visit him again. “No… I didn’t” He hung his head.

Mephesto broke the awkward silence now looming over the car. “Just a few minutes more and we’ll be in the center of True Cross University town.” We all stared out the window at the blossoming town before us. “Every learning facility under the sun can be found right here in University Town. Enjoy, dig in, and study until your heart’s content.”

We approached a giant building a couple minutes later and Mephesto looked at Rin and I. “Now then, we’ll step out, you two need to change into your uniforms.”

I could feel my face change to annoyance before I was able to stop it. “You couldn’t have told us to make sure we were in our uniforms before we got here?”

Mephesto ignored the question and Yukio and him stepped out, leaving us to change. As we stepped out of the limo the two of them waiting patiently on the sidewalk. Mephesto motioned toward him and spoke. “Come now, you have orientation to get to.” He led us to an auditorium full of students. “Find a seat, they’ll give you further instructions from there.”

As the speech from one of the teachers started the two of us zoned out. There was nothing worse than listening to someone talk at you about something you didn’t have any care for. The only thing that pulled our attention back was the words “And now, let’s hear from your freshman representation, Yukio Okumura.”

Rin’s jaw dropped once again, a look that wasn’t befitting for him. “Yukio?!”

I pushed his jaw up. “That shouldn’t surprise you Rin, Yukio’s always been a smart guy.”

Yukio stood from a couple rows in front of us. “Yes sir,” Girls around us were swooning over Yukio as he made his way to the podium on the stage below. “To be able to join you all here at True Cross, a school I’ve long admired, is something that is both thrilling and sobering.”

Rin placed his hand on my thigh. “The little crybaby that always got bullied,”

“I hope that I can live up to the standards of this place. I’m your freshman class rep, Yukio Okumura.”

Tours of the campus were starting so everyone from the auditorium made their way to the courtyard outside the building. The three of us stood together and more girls made their way to Yukio, still overcome with him, I had never seen so many girls throw themselves at him. Yukio’s face turned bright red as they all spoke to him. Rin watched him with concerned eyes. We both knew how little it took to embarrass Yukio.

As our tour began Rin couldn’t hold back his excitement. Every different area we saw he was dumbfounded. The entrance hall was the first stop, escalators that took you up to the next floor pushed Rin over the edge. “This is a school?!” That goofy grin spread from ear to ear and I couldn’t help but giggle as I watched him. The dining hall was stop two and it made his shock even more clear than the first stop. “Woah,” He grabbed my waist and squeezed me, pointing up. “Would you get a load of those chandeliers, it’s like a fancy shmancy restaurant.”

Students around us were watching, but the little raven haired boy didn’t seem to care. The tour took us to classrooms, Rin walked around, admiring every knock and cranny. “Damn, do you think they could have made this room any bigger?” He sat at a desk and his wide eyes expression made more people watch him. “Even these desks are bigger than the ones at the monastery.”

A group of girls off in the distance were speaking about him. “What’s with that guy over there, he’s freaking out.” Another girl spoke back. “I know, what’s a weirdo like that doing here?”

I started to step toward them, ready to give them a piece of mind when my jacket of my uniform was grabbed by Rin’s strong hands. “Leave it alone Y/n, they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

As we left the classroom and the tour concluded a man’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “That’s all for today, classes start next week so you should go back to your dorms and get settled in.” We made our way down the stairs and as we got to the bottom we realized that we didn’t even know where we were going. Rin threw his hands in the air. “Where the hell is the dorm, no one told us jack about that.”

I grabbed his arms and pulled them back down. “Relax Rin, we’ll figure it out. Let’s find Yukio, maybe he knows.” A strange sound, almost like a whimpering came from our feet and we looked down to see a small white dog with a pink bandanna around it’s neck. “Who let you in?”

The dog grabbed the ankle of Rin’s pants and started tugging at him, causing Rin to holler out and spin to try to get it off him. The dog let go and stared at us, slowly moving forward, clearly wanting us to follow. We followed as it ran further and further, when it was completely away from everyone at the school it climbed up onto a light pole and in a poof it was no longer a dog. Rin and I both threw ourselves backwards, basically tripping over each other. Mephesto sat before us. “Pardon me, but it would unseamly for the director of the university to be caught prowling around the halls during the day.”

Rin’s confusion was about to overtake him. “You shape shifted! Does that mean that exorcists can shape shift?!”

“God no.” Mephesto almost looked offended. “Although I am an exception.” He held up two keys, tossing them at Rin and I. We each caught one and stared between Mephesto and it. “That key grants you access to the cram school through any door at any time.”

“Cram school?”

“It’s where the two of you will train to become exorcists. Each day you’ll attend normal high school classes, but afterwards you’ll train at the cram school to become a page. While you study exorcism you’ll be considered an exorcist in training. Your high school classes don’t begin until next week, but cram school…” he stepped toward us. “That starts today.” He put his face inches from Rin’s. “I trust you’re ready to begin?”

“Never been more ready.” The corner of Rin’s mouth curled upwards as a smirk pulled at it.

“I have to warn you tho. It would be best if you kept the whole son of Satan thing confidential. Say what you want about your ear, fangs, and tail, but the flames are a no no.” Rin tensed. “Control yourself.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Fabulous.” Mephesto jumped on the concrete wall beside us. “Let’s get to it.” He jumped off the edge of the wall on the opposite side and we both ran for the edge, afraid that there was nothing there. Mephesto stood on the ground in front of a door on the opposite side. “Try using one of your keys I just gave you on this door.” We both hopped over the ledge and stood in front of the door. As Rin placed his key in the lock and the doors open we both stood with our mouth gaping open.

Even just the hallway was immaculate. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Mephesto started to corral the two of us. “Come on, your class is this way.”

Taglist 💕 @thebookwormfairy @psycho-emi @pnkcts @chenosaurr

Updated: 5/13/2020

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wisdom-walks-alone · 4 years ago

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let’s be sinners (to be saints)

Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne. Damian centric. Hurt/Comfort. Hurt Damian Wayne. Damian Wayne Feels. 2k words.

Shoutout to my babe @darlinglissa for betaing!

read it on ao3!

Damian Wayne is a sinner in a world full of saints. That is a fact that is abundantly clear, and Damian is privy never to forget it.

He was brought into this world as a weapon, a tool to use against the world, and that is something he will never escape.

“You were made to conquer the world,” his mother used to say. But the world was not his to conquer. He knows that now. He knows that fact so well it hurts.

He will never be a hero—not really. He knows this, and he’s come to terms with it. He will never be a Superman or a Green Lantern. At this point he doesn’t even think he’ll be a Batman. And that’s okay, because he could never be a hero anyway.

Because when it boils down to it, Damian Wayne is a weapon and that is all he will ever be. And so he does what a weapon does best.

He fights.

Damian has always been an all or nothing kind of person. And where he comes from, nothing is never an option.

And so he gives it all he’s got, in everything he does. First in his training with the league, then with his father, and then with Grayson. And now? Now he gives his all to the mission.

What else can he do? He saves people. But no amount of lives he saves can wash away the horrors of his past, the pleas for mercy made with a last breath, the lives he’s taken. Though sometimes it is nice to pretend.

So he saves everyone, everyone he can. And even then it doesn’t feel like enough. But that does not stop him from trying.

It doesn’t erase what’s happened, it doesn’t erase what he’s done. But if for every thousand lives he saves it makes up for a fraction of one that he’s taken, then, well, that’s a start.

They say they love him. They say they care for him, his family. And they must; on a base level, Damian knows this is true. They brought him back from Apokalips, didn't they?

But they're afraid of him, he can see it in their eyes. Not of him as an adversary, that he knows, but of what he might do.

They all know what he’s capable of. He’d made sure to make that clear when he first arrived. They say that they know he’s changed, that what happened in the past wasn’t his fault. But everyday he toes the line and he sees it, he can see it, on every one of their faces, that they’re just waiting for him to cross it. And maybe one day he will, again.

He knows what they think. And he knows that they’re right. He’s nothing but a monster.

Every time he wonders what the point is, every time he feels like giving up, Damian has to remind himself of why he’s doing this in the first place. When the world is so dark that it doesn’t seem like there will ever be light, he reminds himself of where he came from.

Damian comes from darkness. And every day he has to beat that darkness back with a stick. He will not let it take him, he will not let it consume him. And he will not let it consume anyone else.

In the end Damian knows that no matter how much good he does, the good will never outweigh the bad. But maybe he can tip the scale.

If Damian is darkness then Jonathan Kent is the sky on a clear, sunny day.

He knows it the second he lays eyes on him, with the sun in his smile and the sky in his eyes, that Jonathan Kent will be a hero. Shaky and unsure of himself, sure, but he’ll get there, Damian knows it. Because Jon is good. Jon is a hero.

Damian looks at Jon and he sees everything he could never be.

Damian knows that his version of Robin is different from Grayson’s Robin or Todd’s Robin or even Drake’s Robin. They’ve each brought a part of themselves to the role, always making it their own.

But at the same time, Damian can’t help but be aware of the differences between himself and his brothers. Robin has always been a spirit of joy, a symbol of happiness, a childlike excitement next to Batman’s brutal force. Robin is what keeps him from going off the deep end.

Robin is the light to Batman’s darkness.

Damian can be better. He has to be better. He’s Robin, after all.

Hero or not, sometimes Damian has to take a step back and realize just how young Jon is.

Not that his twelve is that much younger than Damian’s thirteen, but Damian has never been a child.

There was a casualty on a mission, a family found dead in their home. What was left of it, anyway. They didn’t have time to count their losses, though, because the big bad was already on their way to their next stop. They had to keep moving if they were to prevent what was to come.

But Jon didn't want to leave them.

“Come on, Superboy,” Damian had pleaded. “We don’t have time for this.”

“No!” Jon had screamed, on the verge of tears. “No, we can’t—They’re dead, Damian! They’re dead!”

“No names in the field,” Damian tried to warn, voice a low growl.

“It doesn’t matter!” Jon yelled. “They’re dead, and we didn’t save them! We have to call our dads, Damian. This is bigger than us now. People are dead.”

“This is our mission, Superboy,” Damian reminded him sharply. “We don’t need any help from our fathers.”

“But people are dead! They died and—”

“And so we need to keep moving, to make sure no one else does.” Jon turned his tear-filled gaze back to the broken bodies, but Damian reached out to tilt his gaze back to him. “Don’t look at them. We have to keep going, Superboy. More people will die if we don’t.”

Jon kept his eyes locked on Damian’s, wide and glassy and so, so blue, and Damian stared back through his domino, retracting the lenses so that Jon could see his own eyes. “How can you be so calm about this?” he whispered. Damian broke their eye contact and re-deployed his lenses, turning away and starting to walk.

“I have to be,” he said quietly, not looking back to see if Jon was following him.

Because since the moment he was born, Damian has never been a child.

Damian has been to Hell. And he knows he’ll go there again.

He’s come to terms with that. He knows he’s a bad person, but that’s okay because as long as he’s doing good on Earth then at least he’s being productive.

It’s all he can do, help people, while he’s here. He helps as many as he can before he has to go back. And if he’s careful, that won’t be for a long time.

He doesn’t want to go back there, but he knows it’s inevitable. The good he does now won’t undo what he did then. Once a sinner, always a sinner.

And all sinners go to Hell.

With Jon, Damian feels like he’s finally the kid he never got to be. He’s not an assassin, he’s not a vigilante, he’s just Damian. And Damian rather likes it that way.

It’s nighttime, the two of them having a sleepover at the manor. They played a new video game that Jon had been raving about wanting to try and Damian had bought just to get him to shut up about it. Their banter was easy and they played straight into the night, the world growing dark around them. Damian hasn’t bothered to get up to turn the light on yet, so the only light in the room is the soft glow of the end credits as they scroll across the tv screen.

It was a good game. It was fun. Damian understands why Jon was so looking forward to playing it. They’ll have to go back and see what other endings they can get, but it’s getting late now so that’s something to do tomorrow. Today? It might be early morning by now.

They shouldn’t make a habit of staying up so late, but with their nightly activities it was inevitable. Even so, Damian will be starting high school when summer ends, and his father has made it very clear that school comes first.

Jon starts giggling about something, and Damian finds himself giggling too. “What? What’s so funny?”

Jon looks at him, eyes crinkled in the corners. “Nothing, just—That was a lot of fun.”

Damian returns the smile easily, taking in the happiness in Jon’s face. “Yeah, it was. I’m glad I got to play it with you.”

“I’m glad I was able to convince you to get it.”

Damian rolls his eyes good naturedly. “There is a difference between convincing and annoying.”

“It did the trick, didn’t it?” Jon asks, and Damian hits him with his pillow. Soon they’re rolling around on the bed, pillows as their mighty weapons, trying to reign in their laughter so as to not wake up the rest of the manor. When they settle down again, breathing heavily, Jon looks up at Damian through his lashes.

Then he does something Damian never expects.

He surges forward and kisses Damian, who takes in a sharp breath of surprise before he registers what’s happening. And once he does, he let’s him, his eyes fluttering closed for just a moment.

But then he comes to his senses, pulling away and scrambling off the bed in a hurry.

Jon blinks up at him from the bed, confused. “Damian?” he asks, concern etched in his voice.

“This isn’t a good idea,” Damian says in a rush, trying so hard to control his heartbeat because he knows Jon can hear it. “Your parents would have my head for this.”

“What? No they wouldn’t, they’re not homophobic or anything.”

“Not for being gay, Jon, because I’m me.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Damian?”

Damian squeezes his eyes shut, turning away from his best friend. “I’m not a good person, Jon. I’m not good for you.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Jon says, and he means it, because Jon never swears unless he really means it.

“I’m serious, Jon,” Damian insists. “I’m a horrible person. You deserve someone so much better than me.”

“You don't know what you're talking about.”

“I’ve been to Hell, Jon,” Damian hisses. “I’m a bad person. Bad people end up in Hell, that’s how this works. The things I’ve seen, the things I’ve done…”

Suddenly Jon is up off the bed. “But that’s not you! I don’t know what made anyone send you to Hell, but they’re wrong, Damian. You didn’t deserve it, not then, and definitely not now.”

Damian finds himself backed up against his desk, and his hands grip it behind him as it presses into his back. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Everyone I care about gets hurt, it’s a side effect of being around me.”

“It’s a side effect of being a hero.”

Damian looks away again, unable to meet Jon’s eyes. “I’m no hero.”

“You can’t seriously mean that.” Jon is so close Damian can feel his breath on his face, but he doesn’t dare look up. “Damian, you can’t mean that! You're one of the best people I know, Damian, you’re a hero, you’re—you’re my hero.”

Damian finally looks up at that, and Jon holds his gaze. He swipes a thumb across Damian’s cheek, and it’s then that Damian realizes he’s been crying.

“I have looked up to you since the day I met you,” Jon pushed on. “I thought, ‘That is what a hero is like. I’m going to be just like Robin.’ You don’t know how amazing you are.”

He takes Damian’s face in his hands, forces him to look him in the eyes. Even in the dark, they’re so, so blue.

“They’re not going to send you to Hell again, Damian, I won’t let them.”

And looking into those blue, blue eyes, Damian believes him.

All the warmth and comfort of the sun lives in Jon’s lips. And if the sun lives in Jon’s lips, then maybe there can be light.

#my fics #dc fic #batman fic #superman fic #super sons #supersons #jondami #damijon #damian wayne #jonathan kent #jon kent #dc #dc comics #batman #robin #superman #superboy #jay writes

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purplecatghostposts · 4 years ago

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Jumbled AU Character Information Time!

What’s the Jumbled AU? Another Roleswap except it’s less swap between two characters and more... Jumbled! Created for fun of course!

I ended up tweaking it all up a bit and I’m pretty happy with it now!

Meet The Crew:

FORZEN-

“No, I’m right there with you. Black Mesa is the worst.”

- Takes Gordon’s role as Team Leader

- Graduated from MIT and was recently hired by Black Mesa. He’s been there less than a year and he’s already regretting it.

- Gets stuck in a HEV Suit and would very much like out of it, thank you very much.

- Originally wanted time be a streamer but his mother talked him into going into Science like everyone else in the family did. Forzen and his family have a rocky relationship and this is one of the reasons why.

- Hates his job and is miserable but he does it anyways because he’s good at it and it makes him money.

- A lot smarter than he looks or acts.

- Very protective over his team and is quite the shot. Prides himself a little on his good aim.

- Carries around a ‘Lucky Bayblade’ wherever he goes. Insists it’s kept him safe as a kid and as long as he has it, he will make it through alright.

- Is a single father as his partner left as soon as the kid was born. Forzen is determined to be a good father because of this. His kid’s full name is Scythe Kronos (Yes, that’s all their first name) but Forzen also calls them Scye for short. Forzen will do anything to make it back to his kid. He doesn’t want them to end up orphaned.

- Loses his right eye in the betrayal. Without his depth perception, his aim is worse than ever and he struggles to protect his team.

- Gets a robotic eye from the Cybernetics Department later that gives him better aim than before.

TOMMY-

“Get- get out of my way or I’ll make you.”

- Takes the place of Benrey as inhuman antagonist.

- Is a Shapeshifting alien who takes the shape of a human to blend in for his mission. Has a lot of power but never got to properly learn how to use it as he was separated from his father when he was young.

- Sunkist is his alien pet who takes the shape of a golden retriever to do the same. She fights alongside him.

- Initially takes on Earthly Interests such as Beyblades, soda, and certain TV shows as a way to blend in but actually starts to like them.

- Takes on a job at Black Mesa as a security guard so that he can search for his dad. Doesn’t actually find him until the Resonance Cascade.

- Tampers with the experiment and causes the Resonance Cascade in order to lower Black Mesa’s defenses so he and his dad can make their escape.

- Makes a deal with the military that if he sells Forzen out, they’ll leave everyone else alone. However, the military double crosses Tommy once they realize that his dad is a valuable experiment to Black Mesa. Tommy is not happy about this.

- Eventually comes to the conclusion that his dad will never be safe as long as Black Mesa is around. Goes to Xen with the others, keeps his cover the entire time, and once they reach Xen’s power source, Tommy takes it for himself and tries to destroy Black Mesa and everyone in it.

- It’s all for family. Step aside or you’ll just get hurt.

GORDON-

“There’s absolutely no way that’s up to code... You guys seeing this?”

- Takes the place of Tommy as Main Support.

- Has worked for Black Mesa for a while now but isn’t entirely fond of it. He’s aware it’s morally gray at best (And that’s sugar coating it) but he can’t quit because he’s bound by contract to stay there for a certain amount of years. At least it pays well, right?

- Lost his arm in a lab accident a few years ago. Luckily, cybernetics fitted him with a robotic prosthetic. The one who made him the arm also outfitted him with a gun-arm he can put on. Gordon didn’t understand why he would need it but after the Resonance Cascade happened, he’s glad he has it.

- One hell of a shot, especially when he’s freaking out a bit (“Gordon going ham!” @ himself).

- Has been a bit obsessed with safety regulations since he lost his arm (But honestly who wouldn’t be?) and is constantly baffled by Black Mesa’s OSHA Violations.

- Has a son back home, Joshua, who he would very much like to make it back to. Forzen and Gordon swap telling stories about their kids sometimes.

- Helps Forzen out after he’s lost his eye and tells him that he can get help from Cybernetics given Gordon knows a guy from the department.

- Is pretty good friends with Tommy and while he does try to stop him from destroying Black Mesa- he hates the place too but there’s a lot of scientists there who are bound by contract just like he is- Tommy spares him from his attacks.

- Seems to be fairly good friends with the mysterious being who keeps popping up, Bubby. Apparently Gordon has helped hide him away more than a few times when he gets stuck so he owes him.

DARNOLD-

“Uh oh... That might be one of my evil clones...”

- Takes the role of Dr. Coomer as the enhanced scientist with clones.

- Has biological enhancements such as built in rocket boots and extendo arms but they were all given to him when Darnold tested his own potions. He mostly uses these to get the group out of trouble.

- In the same situation as Gordon when it comes to being bound by contract. Neither are very thrilled about it but at least Darnold has been in Black Mesa long enough that he can influence change.

- Head of the Mixology Department but took interest in Xen for a while and oversaw the experiment that caused the Resonance Cascade.

- Signed onto the cloning experiment and now has a lot of clones that help around Black Mesa. Darnold is pretty friendly with them and tries to help some escape when the Resonance Cascade. Unfortunately a lot of them die, which gets to Darnold.

- A few clones drank his Evil Powerade and went rogue a while ago. Fortunately, they’re version of ‘Evil’ is essentially a cartoon mad scientist/supervillain. Unfortunately, they’re still a bit of a nuisance and the gang has to look out for tripwire traps and a few of their minions.

- Carries around a lot of potions to help. Has a strength potion that is particularly helpful in a pinch. Also has a special Forbidden Potion that he uses in the final battle.

- One of the few people that treated G-Man like a person rather than an experiment and thus, has his favor.

- Introduces Tommy to Earthly things and customs. Doesn’t piece it together that he’s an alien until later.

- Tried to help in the betrayal but Tommy held him back, saying it was for the best. Runs as soon as he realizes he’s in danger and hides away from the rest of the team. Actively avoids Forzen and Gordon for a while out of stress but eventually has to step in when one of his Evil Clones captures them.

G-MAN-

“Oh believe me, I am just as... Eager to get out of Black Mesa as the rest of you.”

- Takes the role of Bubby as Black Mesa’s favorite experiment

- If Bubby is like Shadow the Hedgehog, then G-Man is like Mewtwo.

- Is an alien that has been alive much longer than Black Mesa itself. A powerful one at that.

- Black Mesa started hunting him down as soon as they learned of his existence. G-Man had just created Tommy not too long ago and was weak when they came. Managed to protect Tommy but was captured as a result and imprisioned in Black Mesa.

- Nicknamed Project Goodman as Black Mesa wished to one day use his powers for their own benefit. The nickname ‘G-Man’ came later and stuck.

- Has a lot of powers relating to the mind (I.E. Levitation, telekinesis, telepathy, etc.) but Black Mesa keeps power dampeners on him so he can’t escape, no matter how much he may try. G-Man and Tommy search for a way to get these off of him, but little do they know that Black Mesa has other ways of ensuring he can’t go rogue...

- Started acting polite and professional a while back and keeps up the facade as it keeps him out of trouble and gets him more freedom. He now works as a scientist to ‘Help’ Black Mesa but is just biding his time until he can make his escape.

- Absolutely despises being in his tube and tends to get aggressive when in small spaces because of this.

- Has very few scientists he actually likes. Darnold is on this short list as he is kind to him.

- Finally reunited with his son after so long and wants nothing more than to escape together.

- They were so close...

BENREY-

“Oh yo, what happened to your eye, dude? Psh, no worries, I got a cybernetic eye for ya that’s gonna look sick as fuck!”

- Takes the role of Darnold as the guy who has a solution to a certain missing body part.

- Is one of the best in the Cybernetics Department and was the one who made Gordon his arm and gun-arm when he lost it in the accident.

- Became weird friends with Gordon after he helped him out. Benrey may or may not send cryptic messages and cat photos at 4AM to Gordon, who is very concerned for his health.

- The Cybernetics Department was originally supposed to be laid off due to budget cuts and the Mixology Department was going to expand and take over the lab but Benrey refused to leave his lab like everyone else and hacked the doors so nobody could get in. They would’ve dealt with it but soon after, the Resonance Cascade happened and Black Mesa has bigger worries than a rogue cybernetics scientist so Benrey just kinda. Stayed. He’s the only remaining member of the Cybernetics Team.

- A good mechanic and a master hacker. He ends up hacking into the security cameras and the VOX to watch the team as they go. He speaks via the VOX- and never tells them who he is- but as soon as they reach his lab, Benrey greets them like old friends.

- While he does like to mess with the team a little, he’s pretty helpful for the most part. He opens up a few locked doors and gives a few heads up every once in a while.

- “ROCKET. LAUNCH. GOOD.” Yeah that was Benrey. Gordon actually hits himself once he realizes it’s Benrey because everything suddenly makes sense.

- Gives Forzen a cybernetic eye that actually gives him better aim than before. Said eye also “May or may not have other sick features.”

- Benrey refuses to elaborate on this.

COOMER-

“OH HO HO HO, BAD MOVE! TIME FOR ME TO GO IN FOR THE KILL!”

- Takes the role of Forzen as minor antagonist.

- Joined the military because of his Ex-Wife’s pressuring to do so. They’re both still in the military but they don’t talk anymore.

- Volunteered to test out a new serum that would genetically enhance him to be an one man army due to his love for Science. He didn’t expect for it to work like it did.

- The serum gave him superhuman abilities such as strength, high leaping power, endurance, regeneration, and other such. However, there was a side effect to the serum as it also gave him a bit of a bloodlust. “I crave violence” is very literal now.

- Very powerful but unfortunately a bit of a loose cannon. They only send him in if they’re getting desperate since he causes a lot of collateral damage.

- Can calm down and have regular conversations but it takes a lot of effort. The serum screwed with his head a lot.

- Is sent to take down the Science Team. 90% of the time, they have to run from him and shake him off their trail other than fight him as he’s a lot stronger than the rest of them.

- Kidnaps Gordon rather than Sunkist at one point and holds him hostage. The Science Team has to work together to take him back.

- Saved Bubby’s life once and now whenever Coomer gets into real danger, Bubby teleports him away. Bubby is one of the few people who can calm Coomer down for long periods of time and Coomer is very fond of Bubby.

BUBBY-

“Who I am is none of your goddamn business.”

- Takes the role of G-Man as a powerful being who keeps showing up.

- Originally was created by Black Mesa and worked for them but in an experiment gone horribly wrong, Bubby abruptly disappeared with no trace.

- The accident gave Bubby dimensional powers over Time and Space but unfortunately, Bubby struggles to figure them out and they’re rather unstable at first.

- Because of their instability, Bubby sometimes randomly will teleport and get stuck in places he doesn’t want to be in. This happens far too frequently in Black Mesa but luckily, Gordon knows him and starts hiding him from Black Mesa whenever he gets stuck.

- This also happened once when Bubby ended up in the middle of an active battlefield and nearly got killed had Coomer not saw him get teleported in and rescued him.

- Bubby has taken a certain fondness for both of them and watches over them from the shadows as his own way of saying ‘Thank You’.

- Black Mesa is vaguely aware that Bubby is still out there but he’s become a bit of a cryptid to them. There’s some security footage of him teleporting in but all security footage gets really staticy and stops working after he appears in it.

- Bubby absolutely despises Black Mesa.

- If he wants something changed, he will change it, by force if necessary.

- Starts watching the team closely after the Resonance Cascade. At first thinks that some of them are aligned with Black Mesa and actively tries to stop them until he figures out that they’ve all fallen victim to it as well and becomes somewhat of an ally.

Anddd that’s the team!

That took a LONG time to type out but hopefully it’s interesting! I’m having a lot of thoughts about this AU currently so if you’re curious at all, send me an ask and I can talk about it more!

#SB Speaks #SB Rambles #Jumbled AU #Not sure if I’ll ever do a big fic but I’m much mord likely to do a series of smaller ones #Because I honestly do like how this AU turned out #It was fun seeing what kind of relationships would happen and what different characters motivations were n stuff!#long post

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gotmilk5101520 · 4 years ago

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Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 14 Return of the Trollhunter

Now we begin the second half of season 1 (It’s actually season 2 but we don’t talk about that)

“Holy moly!”

Toby survives that.

“What the heck was-?”

“Huh?” We now return to your daily schedule bizarre adventures.

“Hop on!”

“Adios, fire cat”

“Hey, maybe save the jokes for when we aren’t gonna die” Well it sounded cool in his head.

“I can’t believe you took that stupid rock to your science class!”

“First, it’s not a rock. It’s a volcanic slag”

“And how was i suppose to know there was a flaming monster hiding in it?”

“You bought a magic rock off a troll named “Marvin the Monster Dealer” What did you think would happen, Tobes?” What happened before this moment?

“Um, Master Jim, you said this was a luminaire”

“When that is obviously an infernal hellheeti” Getting away with saying hell.

“Should i punch it?”

“Can i punch it?”

“Yes!” “No!”

“I was going to add, make sure you do not feed the fire by attacking it!”

“Opps” Punching doesn’t solve everything.

Jim uses Water Breathing. Tanjiro would be proud.

“Uh, guys, the fire hydrant-”

“Close enough”

Just keep walking.

Why is the opening still the same, even though Bular is dead now?

“Morning mom”

“Hi”

“Made your favorite breakfast”

“Sorry, kiddo, in a rush”

Should i be glad that Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t have something like this? It would be painful to watch. Fortunately, everyone in Miraculous Ladybug is stupid.

“I mean, it’s been like a month” Wait it’s been a month since last episode? So what have they been doing in a month?

“I don’t know how to fix this unless i tell her the truth”

“But if i do, they’ll send me to the crazy house” Hey, you told Claire, and she didn’t send you to the crazy house. Well she was tempted to do that cause you weren’t making any sense, but she didn’t.

“They fixed your tooth” Why did it take this long for Steve’s tooth to get fixed? I doubt all of the first half happened in a single month.

“I heard he was run out of town by the mob”

“I heard he got a mail-order bride and moved to North Korea”

“As if. Where do you think Mr. Strickler went, Jimmy-Jam. After all, he was dating your mom”

“Why does everyone keep bringing this up?!”

“Guys, this is my brother, and NotEnrique’s driving me nuts”

“You know how many times i have to change him?”

“He knows how to use a toilet”

“He chooses the diaper” “Yeah? Well at least you didn’t have to shove your hand in stinking diapers, and have it still stink to this day” “Ugh. Why does it still still stink? Have you washed your hands?” “Yes! 100 times since i got home with my cold McDonald’s French Fries” “Well excuse me, prince” “It’s well excuse me, princess!” “Are you two gonna kiss right now?” “Shut up Toby!”

“You spend so much time with Lake, you’re practically swimming in him” That’s what she said.

“We’re just friends. End of story” Wait, did- Did Claire just Adrien Agrested Jim? Goddamn it Adrien! Your Just a Friending made it’s way to Arcadia and got Claire. I hope you’re happy.

“Okay, people, who can tell me what happened in the year 1989?”

“No, seriously, i don’t remember. It was a crazy year” Let’s see. What video games came out that year.

“Really, Palchuk? That’s it. I’m dating your mom” “No, no, wait!”

Okay hold on. Why does it take a month for Claire to see Trollmarket? Out-of-Universe reason i can understand. You want to do a one month skip, and we all want to Claire’s reaction to Trollmarket. Could you imagine Claire going to Trollmarket off-screen? We get a few mentions of it here and there, but we never see her full reaction. I can understand the out of universe reason. But what i don’t understand is the In-Universe reason. Like Jim told Claire the truth a month ago. There’s no reason to keep anything a secret with her. Like why? A month to progress all of this? Cause i think it would take Claire a week at most to take it all in. Slower than when J- Never mind.

“Now, you’re gonna want to start drawing a semi-circle”

“Oh! You have it. Okay, never mind” Easier than me drawing an actually circle.

“It’s... It’s lively. Shit that’s Aja’s thing!”

He pets.

“Jim told me you helped him face Draal”

“And slay Bular” Wait Jim explained the entire first half of the season to Claire? Where are the fucking fanfics?

“And that Vespa!”

“Best birthday ever. Except for the part where Jim gets chased by a Stalkling” “That is something i want to forget”

“You’ve read A Brief Recapitulation of Troll Lore?”

“Volumes 1 through 47 It took me a while to decipher the symbols”

“But once i got past the Fifth Declension, i started to get the hang of it” It’s embarrassing when your (Not yet, almost, but not really, not for another season) girlfriend knows more about Troll Lore than you.

“She read the book!”

“She read the book! Master Jim, i love my daughter in law!” “Wait what?”

“She’s a flower” Mood.

Always have a drink before you continue.

“I accepted a human Trollhunter’

“And allowed the pudgy one to stay for moral support” Toby is the moral support boyfriend. Claire is the moral support girlfriend. See? Two different roles.

“But this? A third?”

“It’s an infestation!” Hey they’re not rabbits where they multiple every 5 seconds. Then again, Jim and Claire- Never mind again.

*Talks in Troll*

“She speaks Troll”

“And Trollmarket is honored to have you as well”

“Oh, Blinkous! If only the amulet had chosen such a learned and delightful fleshbag”

“Hey!” Trollhunter Claire au.

“That was awesome, Claire”

“Vendel loves you and he hates everyone!” I said it once, and i’ll say it again: Vendel is the most relatable character in this series.

Where did this light came from?

“Hopefully, this will give the girl some closure”

“She does understand why we cannot allow the bridge to open?”

“Well, you said it yourself, we’d be fools to open the bridge and risk letting Gunmar out”

“Right, Jim?”

“Oh, of course”

“We’d be crazy to do that“ Yeah... A crazy fool, heheheheh...

“Hey buddy, it’s your sis”

”Don’t you start thinking i’ve forgotten about you”

“We’re gonna get you back. I promise”

“See you soon, little chicharron”

*Cries in Troll*

“I need to share a word with our Trollhunter” That’s what it’‘s like when dad wants to talk to you alone. Then again, i don’t have a dad so...

“Hey, Draal? It’s strange, but i feel like i’ve seen you before. Have we met?” “Uh...”

“No. You must’ve mistaken me for someone else”

“Hate to be there when we have to rebuild Jim, right?”

“What a mess”

“Well, i just grossed myself out” We’ll see about that in Wizards.

“You fight in an arena surrounded by the remains of dead Trollhunters?”

“That is...”

“The most heroic thing i’ve ever seen. If their ghosts talked, then it be like Mulan”

“Sometimes, the heart leads you down paths you should not cross”

“How did you-?”

“Figure it out?”

“Your devotion to this girl is as obvious as Marinette’s feelings for Adrien. WHICH IS STILL DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!”

“But you know the danger”

“If you went in alone, you’d be killed”

“Which is why we will answer every call”

“You said i have to answer every call. Now-“

“Wait, did you just say “We”?”

“Aaarrrgghh and i discussed it. We knew you were going in, with or without our approval”

“But... If Claire’s brother is important to you, then he’s important to us”

“For folly or for fraught”

“We are a team”

*Cries in Troll again*

“Is this normal?”

“Nothing’s normal around here”

“Get used to it, sister” Translation: “Welcome to your new life”

“But only a Trollhunter can wield Daylight”

“We are Trollhunters!”

“Oh, man! Now, i’m dead!”

“That stupid Soothscryer killed me in the Forge” He thought Bular would kill him. But nope, instead it’s the fucking Soothscryer.

“What do you mean, he’s in the Void?”

“The Void sounds like a very empty word. A bad word” I hear the Void is very welcoming.

“Yeah. And are these happy ghosts we’re talking about here”

“Or Mulan’s ghost family?”

“He is now under the spiritual guidance of”

“Master Trollhunters”

“Ghost guidance counselors?”

“So, it is like Mulan”

“Wow! So trolls and ghosts exist”

“What’s next? A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

“Fairies?”

“Fairies? Preposterous!”

“Fairies lost the war to the pixies centuries ago” Hate to meet these pixies, right?

“But if we’re going in, they said the only way we’re getting out alive is if we kill Gunmar” Well that’s a bigger lie than any lie Lila can make.

“And with Strickler gone, maybe we have a chance”

Speak of the devil. Or changeling.

If i ever seem dead, be sure to throw rocks at me to be sure.

“Who has awakened me?”

This is me and my sister.

“You know my name”

“A shame i will never know yours”

Angor Rot had to deal with the goblins wrath.

“My ring”

“My flesh”

“Yield to me!”

“For i wear the One Ring”

“You have killed thousands”

“You are chaos incarnate”

“And you”

“are...

“mine”

“Hahahahaha!”

The second half of season 1 (Actually season 2) is off to a great start.

Shit, what do i say that has something to do with next episode? Uh... See you next episode?

#trollhunters #milk watches trollhunters #tales of arcadia

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gerardwritestuff · 3 years ago

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May 7th 2018

I wonder what happened that day.

I wrote something in phases.

If you want a written entry on what happened I'll tell you.

But only you, I don't think I can trust anybody with this. Plus, no one wants to help me with it concerning my best interests so there's not much done with it.

Well for starters, you want the truth. Right?

You want the absolute truth but how am I warranted to give it to you? What can you do for me that's not euthanasia or some fucked up solution to helping me? What's your grand scheme that's supposedly shrouded in mystery that you can't tell me?

I don't know where to start.

"I think they can help. No, they can't."

It's a cycle.

This carousel of indecision had me so tied up in my own skin, I couldn't trust a soul. I felt like I was bound to perish and not a single person would help my cause.

You think you can help, but then you're faced with something much bigger than yourself and that's when you'll coward out because no one will ever want to take the stand for someone else.

Because that's love.

And no one's big enough to accept that. We shroud ourselves on the façade of help and care but people only care enough for you to stop being their problem after a while.

Pain is a real motivator; and I mean real, unfiltered, physical, raw pain. And the human body loves routine. So when you make pain a part of your routine your brain gives you an outlet.

And that's exactly what happened.

I lost my goddamn mind, at least I think I did. People love telling you things to shield you. No one wants to tell you the truth. It hurts. I thought I was doing the right thing all this time by telling people what they wanted to hear, but the truth is I only played the role of being this useless pawn in the game of life I've been living.

Now read between the lines.

Oh yeah, I remember, end of my second year of college.

Things were going all right, to say the least, I'd been having a blast and I'd thought I'd been doing alright but then I went to that damn counselor.

He gave me an alternative to religion. Told me that I could pour my heart and soul into this idea that everything around me was a message from God. That God was talking to me through the things around me. What the fuck.

My life changed completely.

People say schizophrenia isn't something that one could call an observable science. You can't make sense of it. Hell, it's been 2000 years and we still haven't made anything of it. Not like we're close to cracking the code to the human genome or anything of the sort.

I don't know what to tell you. I felt scared at the start. It was like the world was a chasm of wrath and evil and that everything around me screamed for an escape. But really, who was to blame? You can't expect one to live their lives normally after the truth comes out.

That's insanity. Isn't it?

There'd been a couple of things to contribute to this episode. I'd become shrouded in the fact that whatever I'd witnessed till now had been an amalgamation of my memories and that my perception wasn't driven by inference but by incredulity. The more I got lost in my thoughts, the farther away my sense of discernment drove me. Until then, I'd only ever seen life through the eyes of a fawn, and in this forest, there hadn't been a lot going on. Well, at least for me, that is.

I looked on with disbelief as everyone around me playing this game of pretense would never read between the lines. I fell to the ground thinking of how much I'd lived through basking in a bath of whim and false security. It suffocated me, pushing hard against my back as I sank face-first into the dirt. Nothing was ever the same, because nothing was ever as it seemed.

We try so hard to forget. It helps us, comforts us. We do it every day, as we see the crippled on the street and pay a deaf ear, to be guiltless about how destitute they seem; it makes us feel powerful, to know that if we never remember the pain we once went through, we'd be okay. We hope we will someday.

But that's not the point I'm ever going to try to make. I'm here to tell you that what happened to me, wasn't an option neither an accident. I'm certain things turned out the way they did because nothing would have given me a way out until I reached that point of utter desperation.

What if they can hear my thoughts?

What if they know exactly how much of a monster I really am?

Once I'd entertained that thought in my head, it fed on my psyche like a virus. I let it get a hold of me and very soon I wasn't acting like myself anymore. I didn't know what to do except paint a picture, a picture that made it seem like I knew what I was doing. Like I knew what I was talking about and had me acting like I knew what I was messing with.

Commence a feeling of awe and daring carefree. Something in me had cracked like a glass rod and my sense of self-preservation hadn’t left. It was more toward being swept under the carpet or shoved in the back of a car.

I was playing spectator now because someone else was at the wheel.

And God did it scare me. It made me a complete fanatic. Buzzing my hair and preaching about shit I had no clue about?! I was way in over my head, acting like a prophet no less, and even after I'd gotten over it, it never really left. I needed the world to know that I was losing it, and that it made me special, and that it drove me to believe things. Things that were driven by my convictions and not my real feelings. I drove my family and friends away, made them afraid of who I’d become, and now, I couldn’t be more sorry for acting so numb.

I really needed a change, I didn’t want this to be a one-off thing. I couldn’t believe anyone. When they told me that they were thinking up a solution that was the best for me, I saw it as a ruse. In my head, they were just pretending to care because they were scared that I’d keep acting crazy and wouldn’t let up until my head had cleared.

But there was some good out of it, I guess. I’m not really sure. I can never really tell with all the castles in the air. But I’m glad this shit has blown over, and I’m better now. I hope I never go back to that holier-than-thou shit. I had a few demons that I’ve fought with. Those monsters are in the past now, they’ll turn up more often than not. But that won’t keep me in a whirl, I won’t let them. The future’s in my hands, the past is how I’ll forget them.

Then and only then will I realize,

That the real monsters never existed under my bed, they never did.

The real monsters exist right inside my feeble mind.

Black and white, followed by a question at the end of the reel.

But they never stop.

Days bleed into each other and the one thing you’re left with is the only place you started from.

To draw a line between determination and desperation.

To be able to feel like you needed something else from the mind-numbing regret that just enveloped you and continues to coalesce your being.

Make it stop.

Please, just make it stop.

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ranma-rewatch · 4 years ago

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Episode 17: I Love You, Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye

Howdy dowdy, everyone! We are getting so close! So close to finishing the first season of Ranma 1/2! Last episode ended with Akane still having no clue who Ranma is, so this time they’ll resolve that? I think? I am fairly sure she remembered him throughout the rest of the series. I guess I’ll see how after I rewatch the episode, which for you will be with the next paragraph.

There we have it! The end to Shampoo’s introductory arc! How did I feel about it?

That’ll be more clear later on, let’s start by going over what happens in it. Ranma and Akane head back to her house, with her still unaware of who he is. Her family is only now starting to understand that this is actually happening, that Akane has somehow actually forgotten Ranma.

Shampoo shows up, when she glomps onto Ranma out of pure instinct Akane attacks him. Realizing that there is some part of her memory left unaffected, Shampoo goes to do the attack again, but Ranma intercepts it and steals the shampoo. He immediately tries using it on Akane, but it just knocks her out, it doesn’t regain the lost memories. Dr. Tofu shows up and reveals that’s because the formula he stole only takes memories, it can’t give them back.

Luckily, he has a book that has the recipe they need. Unluckily, Kasumi shows up and in his lovestruck silliness he rips the book into tiny pieces without realizing it. With no other choice, Ranma decides to head to China, since they’ll have the shampoo formula needed there. Everyone asks for personal souvenirs (though I don’t know how he’d buy any Ranma is usually broke) and Akane wonders why this stranger is doing so much for her.

Speaking of that very question, Ranma quickly runs into Shampoo, who wants to know why Ranma is trying to get Akane’s memories back so much. All he says to that is that he doesn’t like the idea of being forgotten by someone. Clearly, that is all it is, there is no other context to the situation.

She messes with Ranma a bunch, faking him out with a bunch of other kinds of shampoo, but eventually after a lot of hijinks Ranma is able to strike a deal with her: all it will take to get the memory-restoring shampoo is killing the ‘girl Ranma’. Well, half-kill, Ranma could at least negotiate to that.

And if you need someone to half-kill Ranma, of course there’s no one else to go see except Ryoga Hibiki. Only problem is, for once he doesn’t want to beat Ranma up, no matter how nicely Ranma asks. After all, if Akane’s memory is never restored, it gives him a chance to be with Akane instead. Still, Ryoga does have a temper, and Ranma eventually goads him into a fight...that Ranma quickly wins, unscathed.

Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome step up for the job, but Akane sees them attacking this poor defenseless (and as she sees it, weak) teenage boy and tries to stop them. That annoys Ranma, since he’s going through all this pain for her, but when he insults her in annoyance, she reacts to it. So, Ranma insults her a bunch and her memory comes back.

The only problem there is, now that Akane remembers Ranma, Shampoo is back to wanting to kill her for being an obstacle to getting with Ranma. This leaves Ranma with what he feels like is no choice, and he shows Shampoo that he’s both the man she loves and the person she was trying to kill. (Without mentioning the curse, mind you, instead telling her that he has just been ‘pretending to be a guy’) As he seemed to expect, she jumps to wanting to kill him, but it quickly becomes clear she’s crying, and she runs away, telling Ranma they’ll never see each other again. Then there is a short scene of Ranma and Akane having a spat. The end.

I think this time I'm going to start with the stuff I liked. I appreciate the structure of the narrative here, as Ranma tries one thing after another, any way he can, to solve the problem. It moved fairly quickly and was a good fodder for some jokes.

The bigger reason I liked the episode, of course, just comes from how far Ranma is willing to go to help Akane. He plans to swim to China, by himself, if it means getting her memories back. He can say whatever he wants, but I do feel like this episode was great at showing just how much he really does care about her.

It also made fairly good use of Ryoga, though it’s something they’ve done with him a few times now. By this point, it seems his love for Akane and how he sees Ranma as the thorn in his side have become his primary character traits, rather than his original driving hatred. That’s not necessarily bad, but I’m glad that, as far as I remember, it won’t be his main focus forever.

That last scene with Shampoo is also fairly strong, though I’ll get more into my thoughts on her in a second. All of the things I liked aside, there was definitely one part of this episode I really didn’t care for.

It probably sounds dumb, but I just really didn’t like the solution to the memory loss. To put it more specifically, I like the idea that they’re able to break through what’s been done to her through her connection to Ranma. I just don’t like that it involved Ranma insulting her over and over again. Like, I get it, he’s a dick to her sometimes, that reminds her of him more than all the nice things he’s been doing.

But it’s also just rough to watch, at least for me? I didn’t find it funny. In a way, the whole thing casts a strange shadow on the entire Ranma/Akane dynamic. Arguing a lot is one thing, but the sheer level to which Ranma was insulting her felt closer to negging then anything else. Especially because it’s all focused on how Akane looks, things that are clearly a big insecurity for her.

Enough worrying about those two, let’s talk about who this arc was more properly about, Shampoo (no last name)! This is our first Character Spotlight in a while, so let’s make sure it’s done well!

Let’s talk about her voice actresses, shall we? Her original Japanese voice was provided by Rei Sakuma, who was also the cat Jiji in Kiki’s Delivery Service (which is kind of funny considering something happening to Shampoo next season). Like some of the other voice actresses we’ve talked about thus far, she was in the idol group DoCo. For English, she’s portrayed by Cathy Weseluck. Some of her more well-known roles are as Near in Death Note and Spike in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. (Both of which are not roles I’d expect from Shampoo’s voice actress.)

They both play Shampoo very similarly, I’d say. Shampoo has a very high-pitched voice, and at least so far her vocabulary in ‘Japanese’ isn’t very large, so half the time she sticks with Chinese instead. This gives her an almost baby-like quality to her voice, which is contrasted by how cold it is when she starts talking about how Ranma or Akane have to die. What I would say as a point of delineation, at least so far, is that Sakuma’s performance feels more genuine, while Weseluck makes it seem like the childishness is just a front, it doesn’t sound sincere.

That kind of voice, genuine or not, is pretty emblematic of what we’ve seen of Shampoo thus far. Namely, that she’s fairly simple. Shampoo is chasing after Ranma, to kill or to marry, because of ancient traditions of her people, not because of what she really wants. Yet she pursues him relentlessly anyway. She’s eager to fight, eager to love, and absolutely willing to use underhanded methods to remove anyone from the picture if they get in her way.

I will say that, in terms of fighting ability, it’s pretty vague thus far how good Shampoo is. Ranma is capable of beating her with no problem over and over again, but she never gets to really fight Akane, all she does is give her hair the works.

Speaking of Akane, I will say that Shampoo’s presence does highlight certain aspects of her character. They’re both rather jealous, and prone to violence over it. But where Akane and Ranma are still trying to work through their baggage, Shampoo is down to cuddle from second one. Shampoo is also the first other fiance of Ranma’s, though that’s less something planned out for him and more something he made happen by accident.

I guess it’s time to talk about it, no use putting it off any longer. Shampoo has never really been a character I liked in the franchise, and part of the fun of this Rewatch is seeing how my thoughts have grown on her. I used to just kind of find her annoying, but now there’s more there too. Namely, racism. Yeah, the broken English/Japanese she speaks, combined with how she’s written in general, give Shampoo a kind of ‘dumb’ quality that never sat well with me, especially now that I know that it’s emblematic of the kind of stereotypes Japanese people tend to have about people from China. I still hope to have my opinion changed on Shampoo, but it hasn’t really happened yet.

It hasn’t been made clear yet, so I will say now that I do like this episode. It has some good comedy, I enjoy the hints of Ranma’s burgeoning devotion to Akane, and it closes out Shampoo’s initial storyline pretty well. But I’m also mixed on it, mostly just because of that insulting scene. It’s strange, having a story that I liked about 80% of, because it’s difficult knowing how to weigh that 20% that I didn’t care for. (Also, can I just say I hate that the title feels like a lie?) In the end, I’m placing this just one spot above the last episode, which means the current standing is thus:

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 15: Enter Shampoo, the Gung-Ho Girl! I Put My Life in Your Hands

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 13: A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 17: I Love You, Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye

Episode 16: Shampoo's Revenge! The Shiatsu Technique That Steals Heart and Soul

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

Episode 14: Pelvic Fortune-Telling? Ranma is the No. One Bride in Japan

Next time, we are closing out the season! It’s kind of strange to consider that, I’m actually almost done with the first season of the series, known here in the States as “Digital Dojo” and in Japan as the only season of Ranma 1/2. (The next season to the end was all Ranma 1/2 Nettōhen) Will I like I Am a Man! Ranma's Going Back to China!? That’s the big question, and I’m eager to see. Ta ta for now!

#episode 17 #I Love You Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye #ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #akane tendo #shampoo #anime analysis #anime rewatch

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neuxue · 5 years ago

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Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 2

Perrin and Galad deal with leadership and its consequences, and I continue to not deal with the narrative conspiring to make me like Galadedrid Damodred.

Chapter 2: Questions of Leadership

With a title like that, this can only be a Perrin chapter.

Because average leader questions himself 10 times per book factoid actually just statistical error. Wolfbrother Perrin, who lives in a tent and questions himself 1000 times per book is an outlier and should not have been counted.

And that might be a new low for this liveblog, which is saying something.

A few days ago, the pervasive cloud cover had turned black, darkening like the advent of a horrible storm.

Luckily for you and the rest of existence, that particular meteorological phenomenon masquerading as a man decided against total annihilation of everything. *shakes head* Weather forecasts. Can’t trust ‘em.

(The science nerd in me now wants to write, like, a short story or something in the form of a journal article called Impact of localised heroic systems on global atmospheric chemistry and I think perhaps this is a tangent).

Anyway, we are indeed with Perrin, who’s been having a great time lately dealing with mud and plague. Yes, well, aren’t we all.

Both Asha’man had nearly died

Yeah well they’re used to that by now, surely. All in the job description.

Perrin you’ve had a month to work on that blacksmith’s puzzle in your pocket and you haven’t solved it? Just – give it to me. There. Solved.

(I used to love these puzzles. Haven’t come across one in ages though.)

Perrin’s taking in refugees because either he’s lying through his teeth or he’s ta’veren enough to slightly counteract Rand’s spoil-everything-edible influence, maybe.

He had bigger worries to bother him, not the least of which were his strange dreams. Haunting visions of working the forges and being unable to create anything of worth.

Is this the blacksmith equivalent of dreaming you’re suddenly sitting an exam you’ve not studied for, and also you’re naked?

Moving so many refugees was slow, even discounting the bubble of evil and the mud.

Hey at least you’re not also dealing with border walls and immigration control.

Everything took longer than he expected, including getting out of Malden.

Oh, TELL ME ABOUT IT. Me? Still bitter about the Malden plotline? Whatever made you think that?

All in all it seems like a pretty standard Tuesday for Perrin: slogging through mud, questioning his ability to be a great leader (not to be confused with the Great Leader), and trying to keep four nations’ worth of soldiers and refugees away from each other’s throats. Only one we’ve not ticked off the list yet is denying his wolfpowers, but there’s still time.

“Find out where they’re from, learn whether they did serve a lord, see if they can add anything to the maps.”

In which Perrin Aybara invents the census.

Oh hey! The road’s getting less muddy! Which is definitely not symbolic or anything.

“Where are the others?”

“They went on ahead, my Lord,” Fennel said, bowing from horseback. “I volunteered to stay behind, for when you caught up. We needed to explain, you see.”

I’m sorry, hold the phone, forward-thinking and communication – a plan specifically about communicating, even – all in one statement? Well. You know the apocalypse is coming when.

So everyone Perrin sent ahead has taken a detour because there’s mud up ahead, which may be the Pattern’s way of saying ‘we’re running out of time can you please just go where I need you for once’ or may just be bog-standard (see what I did there) geology and meteorology, but will, if the glimpses of Perrin through Rand’s special colour vision last book is anything to go by, result in a collision course for Perrin and Galad, which I’m… weirdly looking forward to.

“But from the look of things here, you decided to bring the entire town with you!”

Think bigger, Fennel. ‘Nation’ bigger, at the least. More likely plural.

Perrin does briefly consider splitting the party army nation(s) at his back, but the Shaido are conveniently in the way so instead I suppose they’ll all just make their way, amoeba-like, to wherever they can engulf Galad’s own group. Or be engulfed by. Alliance, phagocytosis; to-may-to, to-mah-to…

No I’m not sure where I was going with that either. Moving on…

He himself could Travel back to Rand, pretend to make up – most people would still think that he and Rand had parted ways angrily

This strikes me as being strangely sad, and I’m trying to figure out why. Maybe it’s because there’s a secondary reading of this which is that their ‘making up’ would be as much a pretence as their ‘fight’ because both of those have friendship as a prerequisite, and are they even friends anymore after all this time and all that has happened and all that lies between them?

Especially because, in terms of timelines, right now-for-Perrin, Rand is… not really in a place to be anyone’s friend.

I wonder, though, because I’m a terrible person who finds opportunities for Suffering even in things that should be entirely free of it, whether Rand-after-Dragonmount is in a better place to be anyone’s friend. I think yes, because that was very much the point, but I feel like there’s a bittersweet potential to it where ascendance is just as bad as damnation for maintaining a normal social life.

Or, less flippantly, there’s a strange loneliness to the messiah’s role, to being a force of nature and a champion of fate as much as or more than a man. He is known to all and all look to him and he stands, surrounded, at the centre, and he has learned to see the hope and promise in that rather than just the despair but there is still the sense of being alone on a mountain, alone on a pedestal, existing alone on a level that is not quite human but not quite divinity, touching all but no longer, quite, as a peer. Forces of nature don’t have best friends, even if they turn towards benevolence.

I mean, I’m spitballing here, because I’ve seen exactly one chapter of Rand-after-Dragonmount, and in fairness he seemed at peace with himself and his role now, but I still can’t help but wonder. And by wonder I mean wish. Because see above re: Suffering.

I guess mostly what I’m looking for is something along the series-standard line of you can’t go back, you can only go forward. And even when forward is better, even when forward is healing, even when forward is hope, it’s not the same as what you had or who you were before, and sometimes there is a sadness to that.

Sorry, this is a Perrin chapter and here I am going on about Rand, but I just… like thinking about all the friendships and relationships between all these characters, and how they change over time, and how those ties can be so altered and sometimes strained and yet even then they can also be what saves them all.

(“My best friend turned into the world.” “That’s rough buddy.”)

Faile was back now, and it appeared that his truce with Berelain was over.

NO.

*throws book at wall*

WHY. Damn it I was so glad when that finally died and Perrin and Berelain got to just work together and appreciate each other’s competence! Why must we return to this? Don’t you know that you can’t go back; you can only go forwards? WHY THIS. WHY ME.

The Prophet was dead, killed by bandits. Well, perhaps that was a fitting end for him, but Perrin still felt he’d failed.

Probably just because he doesn’t know that Masema was Faile-d.

I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out.

(That’s a lie; you’re just going to have to put up with me and my bad puns for at least another book).

His duty was done, the Prophet seen to, Alliandre’s allegiance secure. Only, Perrin felt as if something were still very wrong. He fingered the blacksmith’s puzzle in his pocket. To understand something… you have to figure out its parts…

Because you’ve only done the middlegame part of your duty, Perrin! You still have to get ready for the ending! And that means… *dramatic hammerstroke* forging. But, you know, metaphorically.

Perrin feels awkward around Faile now because when you’ve focused your entire life and self and nation, waking and sleeping, on achieving a single goal, and rewritten your entire world around that goal, and then you do achieve it, it’s sometimes hard to know what to do with the reality of having achieved it, of having that person back at your side but an emptiness ahead of you where the idea of them once occupied everything. Or at least that’s my suspicion but Perrin when this is all over you may want to, I don’t know, talk to someone about it.

Seriously, a qualified therapist could make a killing setting up shop in this world.

“I should start turning them away.”

“I suspect they’d find their way back to our force anyway.”

“Why should they? I could leave orders.”

“You can’t give orders to the Pattern itself, my husband.”

Perrin: “WATCH ME.”

Maybe you could ask Rand to, as a favour? He seems to be on good terms with the Pattern these days. Er. These days in his timeline, I mean.

Yes, Perrin, this is you being ta’veren. Or have you been living under a rock for the last several books? Denial’s not going to last you much longer.

“And so coopers learn the sword,” Faile said, “and find they have a talent for it. Masons who never thought of fighting back against the Shaido now train with the quarterstaff.”

It’s such a ploughshares-to-swords image, and I still just love the way this is how Perrin’s ta’veren-ness manifests specifically: the one who was so careful lest he hurt someone, the one who tries so hard to deny his capacity for anger and ferocity, the one drawn to the Way of the Leaf and a dream of peace, is the one to cause that rippling of peace into war, farmers into soldiers, a quiet nation into a waiting army.

Because on one level there’s the sadness of it, of the only one who returns home bringing that home back out into the world with him and leaving it forever changed, of the one who wants gentleness rousing a people to follow and fight… but even that then ties into the deeper issue of acceptance. Of realising that the potential has always been there – for a ploughshare to be a sword or a blacksmith to be a warrior, or a man to be a wolf or a town to be an army – and that drawing that potential out and allowing it to exist and be used doesn’t negate what was there before. That man and wolf can coexist, that anger does not preclude gentleness, that fighting a war for survival does not negate the hope, one day, of peace.

And so Perrin’s ta’veren power becomes almost another level in playing out what he will eventually need to accept about himself. Just as Rand’s darkness and then light spread out to touch the world around him, it’s as if Perrin’s lack of acceptance of aspects of himself keep these people from truly coming together (the dreams of forging things that don’t come out right), whereas if he can accept what he is, and accept all parts of himself, forge them into unity, then the part of the world he affects – the people who follow him – will be forged together as well.

At least he acknowledges to himself that Faile’s right about this one. That’s a good step.

“Once we have gateways again, I’ll send these people to their proper places. I’m not gathering an army.”

Sigh. Or not. Two steps forward, one step back.

Understand the metal and the tools and the puzzle in your hands, Perrin. Look at what you have. Not at what you wish you had, or think you should have. Look at what the pieces can and need to be made into, rather than forcing them into what you want them to be made into.

“A man’s got to see a thing for what it is. No sense in calling a buckle a hinge or calling a nail a horseshoe.”

The hilarious thing here is that he’s making my point, whilst thinking he’s disproving it. Because Perrin, seeing a thing for what it is means looking at all these people around you and realising you’re their leader and they’re following you and you’re headed for Tarmon Gai’don. No sense calling a buckle a hinge, or an army a random group of refugees. (Well, they are that, too. But if you try to return them home now, soon they will have no home at all).

I do appreciate that he sees and acknowledges some of his flaws from when Faile was gone. He’s a little too hard on himself in places, and misses out others, but it’s a kind of humility and self-awareness and ability to recognise where he could be better that I like.

“It’s not [Berelain’s] fault,” Perrin said. If I’d been able to think of it, I’d have stopped the rumours dead. But I didn’t. Now I’ve got to sleep in the bed I made for myself.”

Perhaps not quite the idiom I’d have chosen in this particular instance, Perrin, but…

When she’d been a captive, nothing had mattered to him but recovering her. Nothing. It didn’t matter who had needed his help, or what orders he’d been given. […]

He realised now how dangerous his actions had been. Trouble was, he’d take those same actions again. He didn’t regret what he’d done, not for a moment.

Well… partial credit for self-awareness, I suppose?

Frustrating as this is, though, it also feels quite realistic. And there’s a certain kind of maturity in the devastating honesty it takes to look at something you’ve done and say ‘I shouldn’t have done that, but in the same situation I’d make those same choices again’. Even if it’s a mistake, being able to acknowledge that about yourself is… impressive.

You couldn’t make a drawknife into a horseshoe by painting it, or by calling it something different.

Yeah, and you can’t make a ta’veren lord, leader, wolfbrother, and warrior back into a simple blacksmith’s apprentice boy by sheer force of denial, but don’t let that stop you.

“I’ve been thinking on this for the last few weeks, and – odd though it seems – I believe my captivity may have been precisely what we needed. Both of us.”

*throws book against wall and lets out an Elayne-like scream of pure rage*

ARGH.

WHY.

‘It’s fine, Perrin, you see I actually think it’s good that I was just used as a plot device to further your character development because I was tossed a bit of character development as a last-minute consolation prize, so really it’s all good!’

Sigh. Okay. I mean, in-story and in-character… I get it. It’s over now, it’s past, and they’re both trying to move on, and Faile has always been one to try to find a pragmatic angle – even an optimistic one – on a situation. And she’s strong enough to say this and make it sound (almost) believable. To look back on harsh lessons learned in harsher circumstances and appreciate the fires that forged her.

Which of course puts me in mind of Rand and his if a sword had memory, it might be grateful to the forge fire, but never fond of it ‘gratitude’ towards his imprisonment in Far Madding, but with Rand and that thought, we are given fairly obvious narrative cues that point to ‘yikes, Rand, that’s maybe not the healthiest of responses to trauma’, and we know full well that we’re not supposed to think ‘ah, yes, being locked in a cell with his worst nightmares was good for his character development so everything’s fine’. (Which is not to say we can’t enjoy it, because sometimes you just want to see your favourite character broken and bleeding and chained to a wall, but that’s uh. Neither here nor there).

But here, it’s as if we’re supposed to take Faile at face value. As if we’re supposed to nod and think ‘yeah, actually, that probably wasn’t fun but it was What She Needed’ (which… wow that is an entire pile of yikes, because yes, what a female character in this genre needs is to be held captive and sexually coerced and deprived of all agency… is maybe not a point you want to be making?). It feels like trying to hang a lampshade on that travesty of a plotline and say ‘but look! It brought them both character development! So it’s fine!’

Anyway I’m still just bitter about the way Faile has been used as a plot device for Perrin’s character development across the last few books, and this… while entirely understandable from a character and story perspective, from an external perspective feels like salt in the damn wound.

Moving on.

To Galad, apparently.

Galad who is bound and in pain after being tortured. I’m listening.

(Why am I like this)

All was dark around him, but pinprick lights shone in the sky. Stars? It had been overcast for so long.

Huh. There’s something almost sweet about how closely this echoes that chapter in TGS when Gawyn is wishing he could see the stars. I mean I’m certain it’s not actually intentional because it’s a spurious connection at best, but it’s just a kind of sweet-sad note of similarity between two brothers who haven’t seen each other since they both got lost trying to find their way, and are still trying and wishing, just for a moment, for the stars for guidance.

They’re not actually stars, just pinpricks in the tent, but that’s beside the point.

What’s not beside the point is the inventory of Galad’s wounds because honestly, it’s as if everything from then he did dance, all his grace turned in an instant to fluid death onwards has been a targeted attack on me as a person by going down a list of all the things I like to see in a character and going ‘do you like him now? What about now? What about now?’ and I’m mad about it.

Galad did not fear death or pain. He had made the right choices. It was unfortunate that he’d needed to leave the Questioners in charge; they were controlled by the Seanchan. However, there had been no other option, not after he’d walked into Asunawa’s hands.

I’m not sure why I find it so fitting that Galad’s experience at Asunawa’s hands is not unlike Morgase’s in the end, but something about it just works for me. There’s a whole set of connections here that this bookends, between the two of them and their fall from and rise to power, and choices, and Valda and Asunawa and the Seanchan, and for whatever reason it feels satisfying to have this coming to an end much like it began. Though Galad is spared Morgase’s…………… choice. But I suppose there’s almost an irony here in him avenging Morgase in one way but then sharing her fate in another.

Or maybe it’s just back to the classic ‘I like fictional characters in pain’.

Soon the Questioners would come for him, and then the true price for saving his men would be exacted with their hooks and knives. He had been aware of that price when he’d made his decision. In a way, he had won, for he had manipulated the situation best.

STOP. TRYING. TO. MAKE. ME. LIKE. GALAD. DAMODRED.

I just. Damn it. This is such a good look! And yet it’s Galad!

Standing, beaten but unflinching, determined and himself, ready to face whatever they do to him. Well. That’s how Morgase began, too.

Oh hey it’s his friends! Which means probably no more torturing of Galad, which is kind of a shame (I’m sorry), but is also not entirely unexpected.

Oh wow Asunawa’s dead. Okay. Can’t say he’ll be missed, though it’s just a shame Morgase didn’t get to kill either him or Valda herself. Ah well, can’t have everything.

And it wasn’t Galad’s men who killed him, so now he has won the Questioners to him as well. Questions of Leadership indeed. I see what you did there.

It is an interesting contrast in this chapter, to watch Perrin constantly second-guessing or trying to deny his leadership, set against Galad just… accepting his.

I will give Galad this: he has won his leadership by being entirely and unrelentingly himself, and true to his convictions, and standing, despite everything thrown at him, despite the corruption around him, as a determined and unassailable symbol of what the Children of the Light should be. What they can be. He doesn’t try to steal power, doesn’t outright challenge their ways; he just leads quite literally by sheer force of example.

Galad nodded. “You accept me as Lord Captain Commander?”

But also, I just have to remind everyone that he’s buck-ass naked throughout this entire scene, and some juvenile part of me finds that absolutely hilarious.

“We were forced to kill a third of those who wore the red shepherd’s crook of the Hand of the Light.”

What a pity. No, really. I’m weeping. How sad. Terrible.

None of them asked whether he needed rest, though Trom did look worried.

Again! Characters beaten and exhausted and hiding their pain in order to just move forward is a whole Thing, and putting that on Galad and throwing it at me is just unfair.

Galad didn’t feel wise or strong enough to bear the title he did. But the Children had made their decision.

The Light would protect them for it.

(The fact that ‘Galad’ means ‘light’ in Sindarin is just an added bonus here, really).

But I like the way his thinking about this runs: he doesn’t feel wise or strong enough, but that’s not the part that matters. The part that matters is that they chose him. As Galad sees it, what makes a leader isn’t what the leader thinks of himself, but merely the fact that others choose to follow.

He is their leader now, and whether he wants to be or not, whether he feels up to it or not, is irrelevant. There’s an interesting question here around choices, and the lack thereof – that he has no choice, in a way, but to lead. Because whether or not he wants to, people have decided to follow him, and so by definition he is their leader now. And so the only thing to do, because it’s the right thing to do, is to lead them as well as he can.

Next (ToM ch 3) Previous (ToM ch 1)

#forever annoyed with Galad #but torture is a good look on him #Wheel of Time #neuxue liveblogs WoT #Towers of Midnight

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nickburn · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on the Oculus Quest and VR after One Week

Last week, I obtained an Oculus Quest, fulfilling a goal I had for this year of buying my first VR headset. I’ve been really interested in VR for years, and now feels like a great time to get into it, if you have the dough. Since I’m still fairly uncomfortable with traveling, I figured a headset would allow me to escape to faraway lands from the comfort of my studio apartment. The Quest in particular was enticing because, unlike most powered headsets, it doesn’t require a tether to an expensive PC or console. Now that I’ve had some time with it to explore the headset and some apps, I’d like to talk through my first impressions here.

The Oculus Quest

I got the 64 GB Oculus Quest through Amazon for $400, and I feel like it’s important to say that upfront. I recognize it’s a privilege just to be able to afford something like this right now, let alone have a decent job that allows for it. VR is not as cheap as it should be yet, but I think it will be within the next five years or so.

64 GB is plenty so far, and I can’t see the size limit becoming a problem for a while. Maybe once more premium apps like Half-Life Alyx hit the Quest I’ll regret it, but for now I’m totally happy with the smaller hard drive. The controllers are super comfortable and responsive, though figuring out left from right takes some getting used to, especially with something blocking your vision. But it’s easy enough once you realize that the second trigger is on the inside of the controller, so the wrong orientation will feel awkward. The device and controllers are very portable, if awkward to transport because of their shape and fragility. I expect I’ll have to purchase a carrying case for them sooner or later, but for now a backpack has sufficed.

The headset itself is truly a wonder. The four cameras on the front can create a live black and white feed of your surroundings so you don’t bump into things if you walk with it on, and they can even track just your hands for additional control options (currently in beta). The straps allow for easy size adjustments, and they’re tough enough that I don’t feel like they’ll wear down any time soon. There’s a slider for the lenses to adjust your viewing angle if things still look blurry, and the lenses themselves blend nicely into your vision, so you truly feel like you’re in another place with the headset on and running. The built-in speakers only heighten this effect, providing a surround sound experience in a small package. There are headphone jacks on the sides of the headset as well, but I haven’t had cause to use them yet.

The hub interface experience is fairly smooth, and you can choose your background environment for it from several thematic choices. Getting around the menus is easy enough, but it can be hard to know what to look for or even where to start. There are a few free demos, but after that you’re on your own to discover what’s best for you. Since VR is still so new to most people, I would like a little more guidance there, but I’m enjoying the process of discovering things for myself too. One nice thing is every game is listed with a comfort rating, so you know which are likely to give you motion sickness and which are basically 3D movies.

Beat Saber

It’s no secret Beat Saber is one of the most successful VR games so far, and it lives up to the hype. It’s a rhythm game where you have to slash at different colored blocks with the corresponding saber, in time with the music and in the right direction. You also dodge obstacles on occasion, either by leaning or ducking. This sounds simple, but it allows for a ton of different patterns and complexity. The best levels have really satisfying sequences to perform, and it does almost feel like conducting or drumming along with the music. The main campaign is surprisingly lengthy and difficult. At one point, it starts to require you to go against your instincts and mess up songs on purpose in order to not let your combo go above a certain number or to hit a required number of misses. I’m sure they were added to give the game some more mechanical depth, but I’m not sure they’re necessary. Fortunately, there’s also a solo mode and leaderboard where you can play any song you have access to on any difficulty you like. I haven’t bought more songs yet, but I suspect I will before long. Overall, this is an easy game to recommend and a must-play for anyone with access to VR.

The Climb

I’m a novice rock climber who hasn’t been able to go to a gym since March, so this game caught my eye. It gives you the experience of free soloing (climbing tall, long routes without a harness or other people) and bouldering (climbing very short but difficult routes, which is the style I prefer in real life). So far, I’ve only tried the tutorial, and I’m still working up the courage to go back. The game gives me a lot of vertigo and kind of freaks me out, as your character screams for their life whenever you fall (which, in the tutorial at least, will happen often as you learn the controls). Falling is a very real part of climbing, but if you’re doing it right, you should never get hurt. Free soloing is only really attempted by the most expert climbers, and even many of them die in their attempts. A better way to experience it though is through the Free Solo 360 VR documentary by National Geographic, which is free on the app store and thrilling to watch, just like the regular doc. I’m sure I’ll go back to this game soon, but I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to get used to falling in VR.

National Geographic VR

This game is very cute and allows you to play the part of a National Geographic photographer in Machu Picchu and Antarctica. So far I’ve only started the Machu Picchu route, but I really like it. Your producers tasks you with getting different shots, and you have several locations to choose from in each area. Not very deep, but the views are great.

Job Simulator

In Job Simulator, you play a boring, everyday employee for sentient, floating robot TV’s in a few different roles, and it’s awesome. There’s tons of physics objects to play with, which is definitely one of my favorite parts of VR. The writing is clever, the world is cartoon-like and inviting, and it’s much better than actual work. This is another game I’d strongly recommend for VR beginners like myself.

Netflix VR

As weird as it sounds, I like Netflix in VR. The TV in the environment seems much larger than the one I own in real life, so it feels bigger even though it’s virtual. I like the cabin setting and atmosphere, and it beats staring at my apartment walls. I was able to watch several episodes of Death Note in a row pretty easily, although the headset does start to feel heavy after a while. I wouldn’t say this is the ideal way to stream TV by any means, but it’s worth a try as a fun distraction.

Other Odds and Ends

I’ve dabbled with various other apps and games so far, as one does when one acquires a new electronic toy. I started the tutorial of Vader Immortal Episode 1, and it has you deflecting lasers and slashing robots just like a Jedi, so I’m excited to start that game properly. I was able to hook up my headset to my PC in order to try Google Earth, and it’s great. I don’t think my PC will be able to handle much else, however, so I’m thinking about upgrading it relatively soon. It is nice to know, though, that all you need to make the connection now is a USB 2.0/3.0 to USB-C cable. Until May, you had to buy a special $80 cable directly from Oculus, so I’m glad they removed that barrier. I still feel weird about Superhot in VR. I’ve tried it once before, and the demo still felt awkward to me this time. You have to be so precise in Superhot that dodging bullets while attacking and moving becomes really strenuous, and I don’t think the game really accommodates that well.

Next Steps

All that said, I’m looking forward to digging into all the games I’ve only touched the surface on as well as exploring new things. I’ll try to continue to document my thoughts here so you can all share in my journey with me. I’m coming to realize that VR time is separate from my regular gaming time, in that the experience is totally different. It’s not a replacement for the games I own already; it’s an expansion on a medium and still very new. But there’s something very freeing and magical about VR that comes with the masking of the senses and trickery that the headset provides. Very soon, within the next three to five years even, I think it’ll be much more commonplace.

Thank you for reading if you got this far! And let me know what comments or questions you have here or on Twitter. :)

#vr #oculus quest #video games #vacation ideas #beat saber #job simulator

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