#but I’m fucking terrified of handing them in
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guard dog w/ jeong yunho
pt2
you live in a shitty apartment in a shitty neighbourhood surrounded by shitty neighbours who seem to make it their life’s work to make your life a living hell
the guy that lives across from you is an aspiring dj, emphasis on aspiring
unfortunately with him working the late shift at his supermarket job, it means he likes to practice late into the night
after the first 5 noice complaints, you just gave up trying to get a decent night sleep; part of you thinks he carried on just as one giant ‘fuck you’
the family that live upstairs aren’t great either
the son—timmy? tommy? who cares—thinks it’s fun to sit on the stairs with his buddies and smoke anything they can get their hands on
your air freshener is the only thing keeping you from losing your mind at them! well, that and the fact that quite frankly him and his friends terrify you
they watch you carefully as you make your way down the stairs, pushing through their congregation with a tight lipped, overly polite smile on your face
usually they don’t say a word, giving you little more acknowledgment than a hum as you thank them for barely making enough room for you to push through them
they make you nervous, you can’t deny that, and half of you thinks that’s the whole point
it’s like it’s some sort of strange power play to keep you from complaining to his parents, or worse, the landlord
not exactly a threat, but not not one
maybe it’s those nerves that made you open up to your friend one day
you’d met up with him at a local cafe, offering to pay for his coffee if he gave you half of the sandwich he’d brought with him
“they just spook me a little, y’know?” you mumble as a few crumbs topple over your bottom lip and onto your chin, “it’s a group of 10 over-grown teenage boys; it’s fucking intimidating!”
mingi just nods along, a small frown on his face as he listens to you complain about your living conditions for what seems like the millionth time
he gets it; moving is expensive, especially in the city, and you need to stay relatively close to where you work since you don’t have a car
it doesn’t mean he has to like it, though
“what about a guar—”
“a guard dog?” you cut him off, “mingi, we’ve had this conversation so many times before!”
it’s the truth; it seems like every single time you see him he brings up the same suggestion; scary dog privileges can get you very far in life according to you friend
“too mentally ill to look after another life, sure,” he reiterates the same point you make every single time, “but what about a hybrid?”
again, it feels like you’re in a constant loop of deja vu, destined to relive this conversation over and over again until you can finally afford to move out of that shit hole
“i can’t aff—”
“—afford a hybrid, yeah i know,” you roll your eyes as he finishes your sentence; jesus, he’s annoying, “but what if i told you i knew a guy?”
it sounds suspicious, but you won’t lie and say you’re not a little curious
perhaps you’re just a little too nosy to not lean in a little closer with a brow cocked a question of ‘who?’ primed on your tongue
“can’t say,” is all mingi says, “he doesn’t like people poking around in his business.”
he says it so nonchalantly as if he’s not your best friend who’s just announced that he knows someone who is almost definitely into some dodgy shit
you’d be a bad friend if you didn’t ask at least a few questions, but before you can even open your mouth, mingi beats you to it
“£200 will get you a hybrid though,” you almost choke on the sandwich at the price; this is some seriously dodgy guy if he’s selling hybrids for that little, “£300 if you start laying down preferences.”
“mingi,” you begin, about to beg him to get out of whatever business he’s getting himself involved in
“i’m assuming it’s a no?” he raises an eyebrow; you don’t even have to nod for him to understand your answer
he concedes, throwing his hands up in surrender like he always does whenever you have this conversation
still, the smirk on his face as the conversation moves onto something else doesn’t fill you with the upmost confidence
a week passes by rather quickly; you work, you come home, you go about your evenings as normal, you sleep
nothing seems any different, and why would it? nothing about your life ever really changes without some sort of built up or expectation
and then your doorbell rings
you assume it’s just your neighbour again, around at yours to ask you some sort of stupid question that could easy be solved using a single braincell and google
you trudge to the door with a sour look on your face and a bitterness already growing on your tongue, just to swing it open to see… not your neighbour
not anyone you recognise for that matter
your gaze travels up from the chest you stand eye-to-eye with, traipsing lazily over the defined muscles on his neck before reaching his face
a jaw set in stone, two steely brown eyes and a pair of jet black dog ears are what immediately catch your attention
that and the fact that he’s very handsome; so much so that it takes everything in you not to stare at him with your mouth wide open
“are you going to let me in?” he says as if the hybrid’s arrival at your door was at all expected by you
“who are you?” is the only response you can
“your guard dog,” he replies, and just like that everything clicks into place
mingi, that bastard
“but i didn’t pay for a guard dog,” you argue, hoping that it’ll be enough to make him go back to whatever creep it is that mingi has gotten involved with
“well, someone did.”
he looks bored as he uses a hand to push you aside and steps past you into your tiny apartment, as if this is just another day for him
maybe it is; you don’t know much about hybrids, but you’ve heard enough stories to know just how many of them go through life without a permanent home
they’re tossed from pillar to post as if they’re not conscious beings with minds and lives of their own
it’s sad, the fact that they can be so easily tossed aside by so many people
it’s even sadder to find yourself relating to that feeling
you shut the door, twisting the lock with a finality that you’re not sure you understand
“what’s your name?” you ask as you turn to face him
“yunho,” he sighs
it’s a pretty name, you think to yourself
one that you wouldn’t mind saying over and over again for the… foreseeable future…
seriously, fuck song mingi
“well i’m—”
“i know your name, puppy,” your mouth snaps shut at the authority that laces itself into his words, “it’s all i’ve heard for the past few days.”
you zip your mouth shut, something in your brain warning you not to speak out of turn
something in your brain seems to forget that this is your own home; surely you can speak whenever you want to
“i wasn’t sure what to expect, but you seem to fit the bill,” dark pupils land on your body, dancing up and down your form before finally meeting your eyes, “a pretty thing like you in a town like this? i’m shocked you’re still in one piece.”
“how dare you, i—”
“where am i sleeping?” he cuts you off like your complaints are little more than the stubborn words of a child
it irritates you to no end, and yet you can’t find the words to fight back
there’s just something in his eyes that has you convinced that maybe you’re not the one in charge here
“the couch,” you point to the ratty leather thing, feeling a slight twinge of guilt that it’s the only thing you have to offer
he takes a glance at at for just a second or two before shaking his head
“no,” he replies, “you have a double bed, right?”
“a double—” your eyes go wide, “you’re not sleeping in my bed!”
“yes, i am,” he insists, condescending and annoying. you hate him already, “because i’m certainly not sleeping on that thing, puppy.”
it doesn’t go unnoticed that he’s yet to use your name, instead sticking to that godforsaken nickname
if you thought it would make a difference, you might say something about it, but the stubborn arsehole has already shown enough of himself to make you understand that it would do very little
“the floor is available,” you spit, venemously
“and yet it tempts me even less than the sofa,” he smiles sarcastically and it boils your blood, “you’re just gonna have to get used to sharing.”
he takes a few paces forward until you’re having to crane your neck to look him in the eyes
you can practically feel his breath dancing across your cheeks as he lets out a low chuckle, a darkness washing over his face as he studies you
“you’re gonna have to get used to a lot of things now that i’m here,” warmth spreads across your cheek as his palm moves to cup it, “but that’s okay puppy, i can be patient while you learn.”
#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez oneshot#ateez scenarios#ateez fic#yunho x reader#yandere ateez#yandere yunho
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you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
“Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.”
in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.
ao3 link
Buck was driving himself to Eddie’s before he could really even think about it, the autopilot of his brain engaging and getting him behind the wheel, and on the road to his best friend’s house without needing much thought at all. Eddie was who he needed, in that moment – not Maddie, and her sage advice, not Hen, who’d be clever, and logical about it all. No, he needed Eddie. Eddie, who inexplicably opened the front door in his underwear and a pink shirt. Eddie, who let them sit in silence, a playlist churning out eighties rock for a full twenty-three minutes (Buck checked) before Eddie said anything at all.
“So,” Eddie set his empty drink down, gesturing to Buck for a second. Buck twisted the cap off before he handed it over, adding to the pile on the coffee table. “What happened? You said that you and Tommy were going to the movies tonight.”
Buck groaned, the sound loud in the quiet of Eddie’s house. “I was supposed to be,” he slumped back onto the couch. “But then he dumped me.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “He dumped you?”
“He dumped me,” Buck confirmed. “Because I am a deeply unlovable individual who is going to die alone.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “I think you might be being dramatic there.”
“I’m not!” Buck protested. “Eddie, everyone I date dumps me – or leaves me. That apparently doesn’t even change when I’m dating a man. It’s not – I thought it would be different, with Tommy.”
“Because he’s a man?” Eddie’s confusion wasn’t judgemental – no, Eddie never judged him, Buck was sure of that much. It was sincere confusion, his best friend wanting to understand where Buck was coming from.
“Yeah? No? I mean – maybe,” Buck huffed. He wasn’t entirely sure how to articulate himself. “I guess – I guess I just thought that now I know who I am, that I’m like – consciously aware I’m bisexual – it might be different. That maybe it didn’t work out before because there was this part of me that I didn’t know, or understand, and that had affected my relationships because I wasn’t bringing my like, whole self to the table. But if it didn’t work with Tommy, then that’s not why. Right? Then the problem is me.”
Eddie’s expression softened. “I don’t think the problem is you, Buck.”
“It has to me! I’m the only common denominator here.”
Buck wanted to cry. He wanted to lie down on Eddie’s couch and cry until he had nothing left – and it wasn’t about Tommy, really, because Buck had liked Tommy, but the end of their relationship wasn’t what was making him feel so devastated. It was the idea of Tommy, more than anything else – what Tommy represented. A happily ever after that Buck was falling short of all over again.
“What did Tommy say, exactly? Maybe – maybe you’re spiralling, and he gave you a good reason that you’re not seeing.”
“He – I asked him to move in with me.”
“Buck.”
Eddie sounded long-suffering. Buck had earned that. He knew that much. “I know,” he knew it had been the wrong move. The words were barely out of his mouth, and Buck knew it had been the wrong move – but that was sort of his thing, to cling desperately to relationships that didn’t work because he was so terrified of being alone. “I just – I felt comfortable with him, and the whole Abby thing was weird.”
“Really weird,” Eddie agreed, wincing.
“But not the kind of weird I couldn’t get past. Right? He came over tonight, and I told him – why be apart when we could be together. Then, he said he couldn’t move in with me, because if he did, I would only break his heart,” Buck sighed. He wouldn’t intend to. That’s what Tommy had said – but who ever planned to break someone’s heart? No one was that cruel. Maybe they were – but Buck wasn’t. He’d never wanted to break anyone’s heart, even if that had been the end result sometimes.
Eddie was quiet for a second. “Did he say why he thought you’d break his heart?”
Buck’s beer burned his throat as he took another gulp, the sour taste lingering. “He said that he was my first, but he wasn’t my last.”
read the rest on ao3
#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#911 fic#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic#i spiralled about the first and last line so buck should too
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leverage ☆
rafe cameron x fem!reader.
warnings: kidnapping, violence, mention of drugs, swearing, rude comments, guns, abuse, threats.
summary: when barry doesn’t get his money from rafe, he goes to the next best thing. you.
a/n: thought about this randomly haha. i hope you enjoy and if you do, please like and comment! :) requests are open and even if you don’t have a request, you can always ask a question or tell a funny joke instead. <3
master list is pinned.
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“if you don’t give me the money, your ass is gonna be sorry.” barry stared at rafe while he ran his hands through his hair. “i promise. i’ll get you the money, man. i just need some time.” barry laughs, “you better or this won’t be pretty.” barry hesitated before continuing, “and, i mean you don’t have a lot of time. i'd say a week max.” rafe nodded, understanding. “alright. i’ll get it, don’t worry.” barry laughs, “i’m not worried, trust me on that.” he smirked before walking inside his trailer. rafe hopped on his motorcycle, speeding away. his mind running as he thought of ways to come up with twenty grand. he only had a week, and he was definitely stressing out.
rafe didn’t inform you about his entanglement with barry. perhaps if he had brought it up, you wouldn’t be where you were currently. you were working, just going on about your day. a customer had asked you to walk them to your car. it was an elderly woman; you couldn’t deny her some assistance. you smile, “of course! which car is yours?” you asked, heading towards the parking lot.
in retrospect you should have concluded how abnormal it was for an elderly woman to have parked so far away in such a dark car. she laughed once you approached the car, and that was when a rock was smashed against your skull. then a sack was thrown over your head. rope contained your hands, forcing them against your back, burning from the fiction of the rope rubbing together.
you stopped fighting, realizing it was useless, and whoever was kidnapping you would only become more agitated and aggressive. you were pushed into what felt like a backseat, a needle inserted into your arm, making you unconscious.
the next time you wake up, it’s in an unfamiliar room. it’s dark, and humid. you try and lift your arms but realize they were still held together firmly, with rope behind your back. as well as your wrists, your ankles were tied together too. you tried to speak, and surprisingly your voice, despite being hoarse, was able to make noise. “hello?” you called out.
barry walks in, a gun in his hand. “oh wakey wakey sunshine.” your face twists with confusion
. “i- what? why? why am i tied up? what’s going on?” you bombard him with questions he never answers. “that boyfriend of yours… he’s not going to be so happy now, is he? he’s short, 20 grant short, and because he can’t pay me, i’m gonna take the next valuable thing he has. that’s you.” you close your eyes, inhaling deeply. you didn’t want to freak out and spiral. “he’s not my boyfriend. i mean what the fuck barry?” you stared up at him. “oh, oh shit. you actually aren’t rafe's girlfriend?” you roll your eyes. “no. he doesnt want to date me.” you frown at your own confession. barry looks at you with sympathy. it didn’t last though, now he was overwhelmed because the leverage he thought he had wasn’t even leverage. “shit… man.”
rafe on the other hand, was terrified. while rafe wasn’t your boyfriend, he definitely liked you the most out of all of his friends. he concluded that he loves you, but he’s been too scared to make any moves. that wasn’t what terrified him though, what was currently nagging at rafe was the fact that you hadn’t met with him. the two of you had a daily schedule that included you stopping by his house after work.
with you not stopping by his house, on top of you not answering his texts. he began to feel worried. rafe's phone dinged indicating he got a message, and he practically sprinted to the phone. he saw a message from barry, it was a video. he hesitated before opening it. his eyes widened in horror as the video he was watching was of you. a gun pressed against your temple while you were tied up in a chair.
he tightened his grip around his phone, his jaw clenched, and chest heavy. he examines the video playing in front of him, inspecting it to see if he recognizes the background. rafe’s heart hurts as he has to rewatch you fear for your life due to his mistakes. he unfortunately didn't recognize the background.
he didn’t have time to play games, he immediately responded to barry. he shot back a text, asking why the fuck he had you, and where he was. barry immediately responded, do you have the money? rafe groaned, his hands on his head as he paced around his living room. his heart was stinging at the thought of the situation he had put you in. he should have saw this coming, should have noticed that you were the thing barry could ruin.
you stared at barry, tears welling in your eyes. he frowned at your condition, "poor girl, i'm sorry you're in the middle of this, but i'm not letting rafe get away with robbing me." you gasp for air, "please don't kill me." he sighed, bending down in front of your chair, he moved your hair out of your face. "i'm not going to hurt you sweetheart. i know its dramatic, but you won't be harmed," he smirks to himself, "how about you help me?" your face contorts into confusion, "how?" you look away. "how much does rafe care about you?" you sigh, unsure of how to respond. "tell me or there will be issues. i said i wouldn't kill you, but that's only if you cooperate with me."
"he said before that he loves me, he wants us to date, but when i asked him, he told me he had bigger stuff on his plate. he wouldn't have time for me. after that, it became weird..." your voice trails off, he hums in response. "i see, so he loves you, but he's worried he'll corrupt you." you nod slightly. "you're the only girl in his life, yeah?" you shrug, "yeah, but even then, he won't date me." this causes a smirk to hang on barry's lips. "what if we got back at him? he dragged you along, and he stole my money. what if we worked together?" the thought of backstabbing rafe made you nauseous. barry could tell you were reluctant. "do it or i will make sure he'll never be able to find you again, you'll be deep in the ocean with no chance of being discovered." his words terrified you, "okay, okay. just tell me what to do." he hands you your phone. "you're gonna call him. tell him you're okay. say that i let you go, out of the kindness of my heart." you nod sheepishly. dialing his number, rafe immediately picks up.
"are you okay? what's going on?" you sigh, "i'm okay, he let me go." your words shock rafe, he's silent. "i don't know, he just let me go out of the kindness of his heart. i'm okay." he's relieved, but he's aware that he still had a lot of cash he needed before he could make it right. "can we meet?" he asks. you look up at barry and he shakes his head no. "uh maybe in a bit. i'm a little shaken up. i want to shower and have some time y'know?" you explain. "i understand, just call me whenever you're ready, okay?" you smile softly, "of course, goodbye." you hang up, barry claps. "very good performance, i even believed it."
"what's your plan?" he grins happy you asked. "you're gonna be my girlfriend. you're gonna stay here with me, help me bag up the drugs, count cash, and when rafe decides to return the money, he'll see you here with me. we will kiss or whatever, and you're going to tell him that you saw the good in me. that you fell so hard at my words. rafe will realize he waited too long." while the idea of this was supposed to upset you, the thought of rafe seeing what he was missing out on, gave you a sort of edge. you thought that maybe you can come out of this with rafe announcing his love for you. "okay. will you drive me to mine? i want to change out of my greasy work clothes." he grins grabbing his keys, "of course baby." you narrowed your eyes at him, "just because were pretending to date doesn't mean you have to call me cute names." he chuckles, "we need to practice that way its convincing."
you sigh realizing how deep of a mess you were actually in. it made you feel better knowing that you weren't actually trying to do anything. you had to do this, barry had put your life on the line. if you didn't obey his every order, you could find yourself tied back up in a chair. "okay. how will we make this convincing?" he chuckles, "itll be easy. we're gonna get you cleaned up, then i'm going to have rafe meet me here. he'll see you working for me and man he'll get so angry."
you nod, and he unties you from the chair. he leads you to his motorcycle, speeding off to your house. upon arrival, he allows you to go inside to change. “i’m coming with. no time for any games.” you scoff but head inside. he follows you to your room, you hop into the shower. barry looks around your room. seeing your decor, jewelry; and photos of you and friends. he quirks a small smile, barry was very impressed by himself. he figured this was probably his best idea yet. once out of the shower you change into shorts and a shirt. you hesitate when you saw your reflection in the mirror. you were terrified of what might happen.
“so, we need to wait a few days, make it seem like it has time to naturally develop, yknow?” you nod, “yeah that makes sense.” he holds his hand out. “i’m gonna need your phone.” you roll your eyes, “why?” he tsks, coming into your personal space. “because i don’t trust you.” he snatches your phone from you, drafting out a text for rafe. going to need some time, today was a lot. i’m sorry. he smiles, satisfied with the text, he sends it. your heart swells again, fear crowding your senses. “pack a bag.” you nod following his instructions.
“okay good.” he picks up your bag, “we’re going back to mine, i need some help.” you cowardly follow him out of your own house, getting back onto his motorcycle. your head was swarming, but you tried to clear it as best as you could. you arrived back at barry’s trailer, heading inside, he sets you up with a scale to help him measure out his drugs. you sigh but start to fill the baggies. “good, you work on this for a bit and i’ll be back later.” he speeds away, and you continue the task.
shortly after, you hear a motorcycle approaching. assuming it’s barry you don’t move, continuing so he doesn’t yell at you. after four loud bangs, you can hear rafe on the other side of the door. you nervously glance around. unfortunately, barry had your phone. despite how badly you wanted to open the door, you knew barry would freak out on you. rafe looks around his hands on his head. “yo i got your money, c'mon man.” barry pulls up, seeing rafe.
“what was that?” rafe suddenly turns around. “i have your cash.” barry, impressed by how quickly rafe managed to get the money, eagerly smirked. “alright come in, we gotta count it.” rafe shakes his head but follows inside. at first, he doesn’t notice you, already used to barry having guest over. barry plops the heavy bag onto the floor, pulling out the stacks of cash. “ooh this shit is nice.” rafe chuckles, “i follow through on my deals, so we good?” he looked over, realizing who was actually messing with his drugs. “what the fuck is she doing here?” you struggle to make eye contact with rafe, your heart hurting. “you told me he let you go?” you look down, staying silent. barry intervenes, “well girls like men who are up front about how they feel…” he chuckles darkly, “wait too long to express it and then you’ll lose em’. ain’t that right pretty girl?” you look up at barry, his eyes locked on yours. “yes that’s right.” rafe could feel his anger boiling over him. he couldn’t believe it. “you really like this fucking loser?” you stop weighing the drugs, finally managing to meet his gaze.
“she’s perfectly content with me country club.” rafe's hands form into a fist. “nah this isn’t right.” he walks closer to you, bending down. he gets onto your level. he stares at barry. “i need to hear it from her.” you swallow a deep gulp, rafe being close to you now. “tell me,” you glance between the two men in front of you. fear settling over you, unsure of what to do. on one hand you weren’t sure if barry was still intent on doing the jealousy gig, but you knew rafe was vulnerable and you couldn’t hurt his feelings.
looking at barry, he mouths a “tell him.” you nod, “look i know it’s really sudden rafe. and i’m really sorry…” your words sting his heart, and his face falls. he doesn’t say anything. “he is just really funny. and he’s sweet to me.” rafe chuckles, unable to control his venomous anger. “yeah and i wasn’t fucking sweet to you? i did everything for you.” you roll your eyes, getting into character. “you LIE. you were the reason i got kidnapped. you don’t tell me how you feel, but i’m just supposed to wait around until YOU feel like the timing is right?” his eyes zoned in on you, he looked you up and down, noticing the powder on your fingers.
he was stuck, he knew something was off. you’d never willingly mess around with drugs, and you definitely wouldn’t be slumming it with barry of all people. “what’s he got you into?” disgust forms on his face, he looks between the two of you, scoffing. you have nothing else to say, so you look at barry. he nods in approval, and you have to hold in a sigh of relief. “see? i keep her tamed.” your face twisted in confusion in a slight second, and rafe caught on. “are you done counting yet? or do you need me to do it for you?” barry laughs, “it’s all here. your debt is paid.” barry places the money back into the bag, “are we done here?” rafe looks at you one more time, “yeah we’re done here.”
without a second of hesitation, he leaves the trailer. his hands cover his face, trying to steady his breathing. he couldn’t fight the anger that was creeping in.
back in barry’s trailer, he’s laughing mischievously. “that went perfect.” you frown, “am i done?” he sighs, “what, are you not having any fun?” you look around, “no, i just am tired. i worked all day and i just want to go to bed. in my bed.” he thinks for a moment. “fine, i’ll take you to yours. get some beauty sleep, but you’re stuck with me for awhile. rafe was on an ego trip regardless. he needs this.” you smile. “thank you.” you grab your bag, and head outside. you see rafe standing against his bike. you glance at him frowning. you wish he could drive you back home.
at your house, barry allows you to have your phone back on the one condition; you wouldn’t rat out the plan to rafe. you agreed, thankful to be able to rest alone. today had been so exhausting. you change into pajamas, hopping into bed. you look at your phone, seeing the numerous missed texts and calls from rafe. you frown, you felt so lost.
after a few minutes of lying in bed, you hear the doorbell ring. you didn’t want to answer it, but you were the only one home at the moment. you head downstairs, opening the door. rafe stands before you, “can we talk?” you move out of the way and invite him inside. “yeah, of course.” he follows you up to your room. you sit on your bed, and he’s pacing your room back and forth.
“do you actually like barry?” you stand up grabbing him, and he settles down. “no, not at all. he told me i had to do this to get back at you or he’d kill me.” rafe stares directly into your eyes, he grabs your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss. he pulls away gently, “i really love you.” he squeezes you tightly; “when i thought he got you… i wanted to kill him.” you place your hand on his cheek. “it hurt me so bad but i didn’t know what else to do.” he frowns at you, “it’s not your fault, i don’t blame you at all.” you pull him into a hug, and he squeezes you firmly, worried to lose you.
“he said we have to keep it going for a week or so.” rafe nods understandingly, “okay. are you willing to do that?” you look down, but he places a hand on your chin to make you look up at him again. “are you comfortable with that?” you close your eyes taking a deep breath, “no, but i have to be.” he groans, “this is all my fault. i’m so sorry.” you sit on the bed, and he joins you. “we’ll get through this. one week and then i’m all yours.” he places his hand on your thigh, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “i’ll be here to protect you.” you kiss him again, “that’s the only motivation i need rafe.” he grins. “if it gets too bad, i’ll fuck some shit up for you.” you nod, “thank you rafe.”
#rafe cameron x reader#fiction#writing#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader angst#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron angsts#rafe cameron x plus!reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#barry x reader#barry obx
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Good, right?
Sukuna x Reader Oneshot | Modern/College AU (i guess) | 777 words
Summary: You and Sukuna have been sent to gather the necessary ingredients for some cooking class. And now you're in an empty storage room. By yourselves.
He kissed me. He fucking kissed me.
You throw your arms up awkwardly and freeze. You can feel his lips against yours, warm and gentle. You don’t know how to react. No, you know how to react. You should push him off immediately. There is no universe in which you’d want Ryomen Sukuna kissing you. Except maybe this one.
He pulls back just barely with the most shit-eating grin on his face. So, naturally, you push him away. But what does that mean now?
“Oho, you’re only just now pushing me away. Why? Because now I know you like it?” he asks, smug as hell. “I absolutely did not like that,” you say, rolling your eyes and looking away.
But taking your eyes off him was a mistake. Because now he’s kissing you again, catching you off guard a second time. But this time his hands are on your hips and he presses his chest against yours. He’s warm and that warmth spreads through your body causing your eyes to flutter shut. You barely realize it but he’s kissed you multiple times now. Your awkwardly placed arms have come to rest against his. But once you feel his skin you’ve got enough presence of mind to push him off. And he lets you, stumbling back slightly with a laugh.
Why did I like that????
“What the hell is wrong with you?! God, you’re so weird.” He just rolls his eyes. “I guess you are too.” “What are you talking about?” “You’re over here kissing one of the bullies you claim to despise so much.” “You’re kissing me, and I don’t even like it!” you say with a huff.
He deadpans. “You’re gonna tell me you didn’t like that? After how many times you let me kiss you? With my hands on your waist. I saw how your eyes flutter closed, you know.”
Damn it.
“I was in shock.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, maybe the first time. Just admit it,” he says, stepping closer with the same smirk. “It’s okay if you like it. I’d actually prefer it that way.”
You sigh, closing your eyes (a mistake you haven’t seemed to learn from) and crossing your arms.
“Of course you would, but I don’t mPH-”
Yeah, he’s kissing you. Again. You catch yourself melting the tiniest bit before you pull away. And of course, Sukuna noticed. Your clue for that is that his grin somehow got cockier. Bastard.
“Are you insane?” “Possibly. No more insane than you.” “I don’t go around kissing random people!” “I only do it if I’m gonna enjoy it. And I’m thoroughly enjoying this. As are you,” he says, leaning into you more.
You panic on the inside about how good feels pressing you against the shelves and-
“Back up!”
He obliges. With a smirk, of course.
“You know, repressing your emotions isn’t a good habit to get into.”
You just roll your eyes. You aren’t even trying to, you just want a moment to accept them for yourself. Or reason them away so you can pretend this never happened at all. Is that so wrong?
You sigh, turning towards the exit.
“Listen, I want nothing to do with you. You and your group just get off on terrifying people who are already a little scared of you. Ew.”
You couldn’t hear the quiet footsteps he was taking over your rant. So when his warm body is suddenly right up against your back you gasp. And when he snakes his arm around your waist you stop breathing. And when his chin ends up on your shoulder it takes everything in you not to make an embarrassing noise.
“Wh-”
You have to cut yourself off because you can barely trust your voice. You can feel his smirk on your neck. You swallow.
“What are you doing?” you whisper. “What does it feel like? Good, right?”
You just about short-circuited after hearing that. Some noise of shock and disapproval came out of your mouth but Sukuna just laughed. After some sort of button-mashing quick-time event in your brain you finally get the presence of mind to try and take control of the situation.
“We’re taking too long. We still have to grab some flour and get back to the demonstration.”
There’s a moment of silence where you’re praying Sukuna will show some mercy. And he does. He actually backs up. Well, of course, he’s laughing the entire time, But a win is a win.
“Fine. I let you off for now. But you know I’m not forgetting about this. It’s only a matter of time until you have to face this again. I’ll make sure of it.”
Masterlist
reblogs and comments appreciated
#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna fanfic#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk oneshot
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thank you op for indirectly inviting me in the tags to rant about horror movies and analyse characters from my favourite autism game MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!
starting off difficult with jesse. they would probably be turned away from extreme splatter but i can imagine they’d enjoy getting shocked by the occasional gore. it’d probably need some level of depth to it too so they can make excuses and say they watch it for the plot and not the visuals. i don’t think they’d be the type to go out of their way and pick up a horror movie so i’m gonna go with the mist or mulholland drive or sinister because they’re relatively well-known and jesse likes feeling things in the media they watch. cus BOY do those films gutpunch the viewer.
i know axel would love psycho goreman. it’s chaotic, hilarious, bloody, and it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. it’s a great romp but absolutely fucking insane. either that or some other ridiculously over the top thing like thankskilling or terrifier. crazy shit filled with ludicrous amounts of guts. he’s in it for the fun! sometimes he even watches hilariously shitty horror movies for entertainment's sake, like jaws 3d and jason takes manhattan.
olivia would love dystopian themes and cosmic horror hands-down. visuals that absolutely blow your mind and amaze you. the plot can’t be too weak however because she LOVES getting invested in well-written/likeable characters and rooting for them, cheering when they win and freaking out when they die. she also likes sci-fi, particularly complex machinery (as an engineer) and finds great joy in picking apart the devices in poorly-made sci-fi films to defend the genre’s honour. she would love 28 days later, the thing, and ex machina because you KNOW she needs dramatic flair in her movies
petra would probably like high-intensity films that have a ruthless protagonist and lots of blood in their action scenes. i also think she’d be put off by heavy fantasy themes. because of her nature she could also be a huge sucker for revenge films where the protagonist bites back at the people who wronged them. when she watches horror, she mainly watches for the violence and loves well-choreographed fights. still, the movies should be intelligent, not having bad writing that's just 'kill kill kill' so i’m gonna say mandy, lady snowblood, and i saw the devil because they’re all intense and have a protagonist who KICKS ASS
lukas wouldn’t watch horror movies (he’s more of an epic saga/documentary guy) but he might be willing to watch old ones such as jurassic park (which isn’t really horror) and gremlins and the exorcist (and secretly enjoy them on the odd occasion). nothing to genuinely scream about, just some fun to pass the time and appreciate the effects cus that man ADORES the art of cinema. if you took him to terrifier he’d never touch horror again. i can imagine axel forcing him to watch it with the gang lmao
Olivia: Favorite horror movie?
Jesse: It.
Axel: Saw.
Petra: Annabelle.
Lukas: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my school years terrified that the everyone would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics.
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well
#y’all know what sucks huge ass?#I’m not even on my anxiety meds anymore#but I still got a bottle full of them which I should hand in to a pharmacy so they can do their thing w them#but I’m fucking terrified of handing them in#bc what if I need them again soon#and yup#I should NOT be downing meds before consulting a doctor again but#things are rough man#and it’s gonna get rougher#and it’s eating me the fuck up#and when I feel this shit creeping up on me that bottle is really fucking tempting#I’m real tired fam
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another awful gort hc. talking about his slavery. besides just being a ‘regular’ slaver i think he also has like. almost a fucked up village of sorts of only slaves he molds and shapes as he sees fit. the people’s children there are automatically born into slavery and their children as well. if they’re not up to ‘standards’ he kills them. y’know absolute horror of a guy who is not really a guy but the machine.
#i imagine that gort is the kind of guy even others in his business are kinda. weirded out by with how he treats his slaves#slaves from gort are still in extremely high demand because. gort molds the#them perfectly. but still they only have one true master: gortash even after he sells them#they do what they are told for other masters purely because gort told them to because that is their role as his tool#and also. i’m sure he lures people who aren’t born into it into this fucked up thing with the prospect of a place to stay food someone who#takes care of everything. someone who sees your true potential as his tool. someone who will bend & break you until you are worthy to be#used by hands.#how he believes that the ideal state for people to be in is either completely devoid of a soul controlled by him as a wrench in his hand or#a mistake crushed for not being useful in his conquest or even struggling in his divine grasp#because no one talks about gortash’s slavery i might as well as the guy who is so terrified of gortash#bg3#enver gortash#gortash#baldur's gate 3
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I made the mistake of scrolling around on tumblr KNOWING I follow people who post about the new episodes soon after they come out and lemme just say.
#putting my prediction in the tags to hide them from people who also haven’t seen the whole episode yet in case I’m right#just gotta drown it out first so all the Dndads tags are after this I really wanna make sure it’s all hidden gjdhdjg#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers#dndads season 2#dungeons and daddies season 2#I have seen not one but TWO PEOPLE posting about Rebecca and one of them included me and my husband and the other said they were grieving#i may be worried about the wrong person here but as an oak family enjoyer#who has said VERY RECENTLY that I am going to commit hand to hand combat with Anthony Burch if he kills One of the twins#I’m terrified Sparrow Specifically is about to kick the bucket and I’m going to have to go about my day like nothing happened#MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!!#I stand by that he might have a homunculus/his real body is in Oakvale#you can not go missing in Oakvale and tell me it’s o-a-Kay it’s fucking OAKVALE#edit: it was worse than expected ;0;
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Back on my meds, making a damn decent paycheck despite how many days I had to take off this month, my mom’s feeling better now that she’s home and we’ve figured everything out, our neighbor’s gonna build us a wheelchair ramp for cheap, and my dad miiiiiiiiight be buying a new car as we speak 🤞 (my mom just can’t get into the truck anymore, and she hasn’t wanted to drive her two seater for a while now, so we’re trading it for something practical). Things are finally going fairly well, all things considered ❤️
#she speaks#after the absolute hell we’ve been in all October I think we deserve a fucking break#hopefully this post doesn’t jinx the car lol#we’re keeping the truck obv cuz like we got livestock#but the lil beamer has got to go unfortunately#sad it’s a fun lil car#but it hasn’t been getting the love it deserves and it’s time for something more suited to our needs as a family#kinda exciting really I hope we get it#we all fucking hate spending money so both my parents have been waffling on it for a couple of days#but like I told them mama you got a doctor’s appointment next week for your g tube#and then a hospital follow up with our pcp the week after that#and you’re gonna have to see a gi and a nutritionist pretty regularly#and there’s gonna be more surgeon follow ups I’m sure#and eventually we’re gonna need to take you to outpatient pt cuz we can’t have a home health pt forever#cuz insurance only pays for it for like six weeks#so either we’re gonna have to rent a car every time you go to the doctor#or we gotta buy one#and like this isnt going away you’ll have to go to the doctor often#cuz you’re missing like half of your small intestine#so getting a rental all the time is gonna suck#it would be better to have a car you can get in and out of easily just on hand#not to mention eventually you’re gonna wanna get out of this house just for the hell of it#and it’s not like we can wake up one morning and decide hey let’s go on a day trip#and then waste two hours driving back and forth from the nearest enterprise#which is on an extremely busy two lane highway and is FUCKING terrifying to get to lmfao#so with any luck my dad will keep that in mind and not back out at the dealership lol
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I have so many varied and fun WIPs I could work on but my brain continues to scream “BE WEIRD ABOUT CHILDBIRTH! SURELY YOU WON’T WEIRD ANYONE OUT IF YOU KEEP WRITING ABOUT CHILDBIRTH!” and I’d like it to sTOP
#I HAVE TOKOPHOBIA CHILDBIRTH AND PREGNANCY IN GENERAL REPULSE ME#(not to be confused with ‘I find it repulsive’ — its natural and plenty of people find it beautiful and more power to ‘em! me personally…)#BUT I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT MARIO RUSHING TO HIS WIFE’S BEDSIDE AND FRANTICALLY TRYING TO HELP HER RELAX#WHEN IN FACT SHE IS ALREADY RELAXED AND HE NEEDS BREATHING EXERCISES MORE THAN SHE DOES#AND THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION THEY BOTH UNDERGO AS THE HOURS TICK BY AND THE PAIN GETS WORSE#PEACH HURTING AND ANXIOUS AND FRANKLY KINDA TERRIFIED BUT BLINDLY LEANING ON AND TRUSTING HER HUSBAND WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT#AND OF COURSE HE REFUSES TO LET HER DOWN BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE’S FRAZZLED HE’S NOT GOING TO LET HER GO THROUGH THIS ALONE#AND AND AND#PEACH TREMBLING AND WEEPING IN RELIEF WHEN SHE’S HANDED HER LITTLE GIRL AND FEELS HER TAKE HER FIRST BREATHS AND HEARS HER FIRST CRIES#MARIO PEPPERING HER FACE IN KISSES AND JUST REPEATING ‘brava! brava! brava!’ BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS SO STRONG AND SO INCREDIBLE#AND IT DOESN’T REALLY HIT HIM UNTIL THEIR BABY’S ALL CLEANED AND SWADDLED AND HE’S HOLDING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE JUST#STARTS FUCKING BAWLING#AND WHISPERING TO HER IN HIS NATIVE TONGUE ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER AND HOW HE’S SO HAPPY TO MEET HER AND HE’S GONNA PROTECT HER#THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH! THE FIRST SLEEPLESS HOURS AND DAYS! NAVIGATING IT ALL TOGETHER AND IT BRINGS THEM EVEN CLOSER#WHY AM I LIKE THIS#I SEE PREGNANT BELLIES OR NEWBORN BABIES IRL AND I’M LIKE ‘🤢’#BUT WHEN IT’S MY OTPS I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED#WHY#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 😭😭😭
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i’ve only known the silt verses for 4 days but if anything happens to it im gonna kill everyone in the room and then myself
#this is such a fucking good podcast i am shaking#this is it this is my favorite type of horror#i dunno what it is about religious fanaticism and making it horror#about people misinterpreting terrifying horrors as their god#see: silt verses#see: the magnus archives#see: midnight mass#but it’s literally all i can subsist on rn#if anyone has any similar recommendations pls hand them over#bc i’m working my way through this podcast like it’s my job and i don’t want it over#the silt verses#tsv#sister carpenter#brother faulkner#carpenter#faulkner
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holy fuck, this gives the zenin so much more lore than what we got in the manga. like the potential is right there to have this great inter-clan generational dispute and cold war but gege just breezes past it and then gets rid of it completely.
with all this cool new shut we’re getting about them, im almost glad that megumi was born a boy. like could you imagine just how much worse the zenin would have been to him if he was a girl? they already have the whole misogyny thing going for them and then their version of jesus pops up and it turns out that it’s a girl who wields their prized technique?
god, i can’t imagine just how much more controlling they would be towards megs, although im still not sure if the whole training until ur bones fall off would still happen. i feel like naoya would be different towards megs but we also know that the zenin are totally okay with incest so i hate where that would go.
It would have been bad.
See, I think the entire training until your bones fall off thing would still happen, but there would be an added layer of cruelty towards it. Because megumi was a little boy who was being trained in a way that even adults couldn’t have handled, so of course he spent a lot of time getting hit and a lot of time crumpling under the pressure and exhaustion. There are very, very few instances where he remembers actually leaving the training room on his own two feet. He usually was pushed until he collapsed and woke up later in the room they kept for him. But if he was a little girl in the same circumstances? They’d make every “failing” about her sex. They’d blame her being a girl for it and constantly use it as a source of sneering superiority.
It would also be bad because she would very much be seen as a source of descendants. Boy Megumi wouldn’t necessarily be exempt from that, but it would happen sooner for girl Megumi.
Bloodline is very important to the Zenin. Inheriting power, techniques—they want to continue the flow of power through the generations. And most of the Zenin clan (and the wider jujutsu world) believe that Megumi is the most powerful Zenin alive right now, if not Gojo’s equal, and the only reason why hes being graded as a Grade Two sorcerer is because gojo’s purposefully sabotaging his development. Like. Mindset is a huge amount of jujutsu ability. Yuuta went from getting beaten up by normal high schoolers to having some combat ability but needing inumaki to handle a semi grade one to being the second most powerful person alive in the span of a few months. He absolutely blitzed the previous second most powerful person alive when he would have lost that same fight a few hours previous. There’s a lot of people convinced Megumi’s on Gojo’s level but he’s been keeping him on a leash since childhood. But the powers still there in his blood.
That’s power the Zenin want to pass on, regardless of gender. But as a boy, Megumi’s got a little bit more leeway—men are accepted as warriors first in the clan, and age won’t affect his ability to procreate. If megumi was a girl? She’s got that goddamn biological clock ticking down. As the ten shadows, I think the Zenin would still expect her as a warrior, but they’d also have a fucking quota she needs to fill before the clock hits zero. And they’d have some very proprietary concerns about making sure no one outside of the clan has a chance to become involved with her. They’d want her to stay within the clan with her partners. And they’d be absolutely creepy and weird about how they went about it. It’s a little bit of a mercy that Megumi’s a boy.
#sea glass gardens#the Zenin already see boy megumi as their property#girl megumi? she’d be doomed#they already see women as property#they’d take a fucking hit out on yuuji I can tell you that#I’m a shameless itafushi shipper and while I don’t really write genderbend I don’t see a reason to change shipping them if I did#yuuji has this angry scary pretty girl who for some reason is down to hold his hand and then her fucking cousins hire a sniper#editing tags because I have more to say it’s one of my flaws#there’s so much of Megumi’s situation as a kid that was just horrible and miserable and full of pain#there were so many times he woke up in that stupid room too beaten up and bruised and exhausted to move#he was too tired to summon his dogs for comfort#and the Zenin hated when he treated his shikigami as pets anyway#I like to think megumi was actually scared of the dark when he was a kid#he was a child who saw monsters and didn’t have an explanation for them#they terrified him#his sister had a monster in the hall closet that wanted to eat her and he tried to be brave but he shook every time it came out#and it only came out at night#he was six. he was afraid of the dark.#he never told the Zenin but he could tell they somehow knew#his room was always kept so dark and there was never a nightlight permitted#he’d just wake up in the pitch and never know if anything was in there with him#he was hurt. he couldn’t move. and he was afraid of the dark#and sometimes megumi feels like he’s still that fucking six year old who got lugged from the training room unconscious and dumped in#the dark alone
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oh fucking BROTHER i just finished cleaning and had made smth to eat bc i finally convinced myself after all day that i wld feel better if i did (it’s been a HORRIFIC ed day) and i kid you not as soon as i sat down i dropped the whole thing all OVER myself and it FUCKING BURNED and HURT bc it was SCALDING !!!!! and then i had to clean up the ONE thing id convinced myself was okay to eat OFF THE FLOOR I JUST FINISHED MOPPING!!!!!! BROTHER. WHY ME.
#ed tw#dlt ltr#the reason i convinced myself to even eat was bc my hands were too shaky to paint my nails#which is pathetic. dude ur starving lol.#top tier sanity in my house tonite 👍 mental illness banished idk them#i did not however drop the plate from shaking. i was trying to put it on the table but i have horrible depth perception and#awareness of what’s in my vacinity. i drop crap and crash into shit all the time#idk what to do now that honestly threw me off so bad i sat there in silence for a solid minute#BBQ SAUCE ON MY TIDDIES#IT ACTUALLY WAS TOO I WAS FUCKING EATING A RIB PATTY#or i was going to. now idk what im doing.#horrendously sad and pathetic side note why are eds so invasive. ive been fully relapsed w it for like two weeks how did i get to the place#where i’m TERRIFIED to eat anywhere near four digits within days#whatever i need nicotine bye.
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>.<
#tw clari overshares#i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active#but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me#just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning#i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating#i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again#but i’m so so so scared#(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!)#bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!!#what happened to her!!!!!#she got really sick i guess#it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it#i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more#feeding into the fear and letting it win#and now i’m here#in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel#i miss being a part of this community so much#i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect#NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have#i miss having fun#YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity#but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble???#the only person who can fix this is me#(obviously hahaha)#it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on#i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life#why did i let it take something so fucking important to me???#i have to end it!!!#if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting#i just feel like i NEED to say this
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thinking abt the horror inherent to cornfields again. maybe I’m just british and have never seen cornfields (I know we DO grow it over here but I haven’t like. seen it) but the thought of an annual crop plant growing THAT TALL (average 2.5m/8ft) for us to just eat the grain feels viscerally wrong. wheat is like 1.2m/4ft you can exist in a wheat field but corn will swallow you whole
#this post brought to you by guy from wheat/potato/rapeseed farming area#I’m also pretty sure this has been said many many times but when I hear abt cornfields it’s normally joking abt like. is it iowa#or whatever just them being big#which yeah itself is fucking terrifying but god like corn is a Big Plant#ohhhhhh this is tapping into childhood memory I just realised. I might be making this up and it’s from smth else but#watership down when they’re in the field with the tractor? or maybe just hiding in a massive field?#but they’re rabbits so the plants are obviously Kinda Big#anyway cornfields are a monument to man’s hubris. we’ve taken this crop (which I will say was not meant to be grown like this)#that is significantly bigger than us and put them in nice evenly spaced rows for miles and miles#we grew a grass forest to eat but it Does Not Care About You. you are insignificant to the corn.#i do Not have the words to do this justice and again I have never seen cornfield this is all second hand but.#it’s all just so alien#I wonder what fairy stories we would’ve gotten about cornfields if they’d been around back then#this concludes cornposting hours.#luke.txt
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*through gritted teeth* ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you people can—
#I need to stop seeing douma/akaza stuff like. now.#I’ve tried okay I’ve tried to even mildly like it and nope#I can’t do it. I cannot do it whatsoever#I JUST DONT GET IT I DONT GET IT I DONT GET ITTTTTTTR#I know it’s my thing where I viscerally dislike ships that are based on two characters#who are on the same side but STILL fucking hate each other#because literally no matter what it just feels so weird and forced to me#like they are on the same side. they have similar morals already. if they were gonna like each other AT ALL… they would#but yeah no I’m hffjdjdksk I can’t do that one anymore#and it used to be such a rare pair so it was really easy to avoid and now I’m seeing A LOT more of it and it’s getting more difficult#and I dunno part of it is the idea of shipping douma with ANYONE#like I can’t stand him being shipped with shinobu kanae or kotoha either#his canon interactions with them have just tainted it sooooo much for me#and like yeah rocks at glass houses I’m aware I’m the enemies to lovers weirdo who ships characters who keep trying to kill each other#but mannnnnn something about the idea of shipping a guy who terrified a woman so wholly she threw her baby off a cliff because that was a#better alternative to him getting his hands on her child? yeeeeaaaaahhhhh… it’s not gonna be for me folks#it is NOT a kind of power dynamic I am gonna enjoy when it’s that particular angle#the context of their relationship cannot be that removed to me#it’s just one of my person nope. can’t fucking do it don’t fucking like it kinda makes my skin crawl things#which in a way is unfortunate#cuz I actually do enjoy douma as a character a lot and I can enjoy certain explorations of him#where he actually DOES learn to be in tune with his emotions again and learn to care for someone#but I rarely see it done well#and when I see ANY of that so called ‘development’ linked to any of these ships#it’s usually just akaza or Kotoha or shinobu getting over their hatred/fear of him in way too fast and highly unrealistic ways#while douma does very little to actually develop himself he just kinda is Automatically better because someone loved him back#(in a way that’s usually out of character for everyone involved lol)#esp when any of these ships are showcased in a REALLY cutesy way like again it’s just not for me#I don’t think I can ever really jive with it#oh well. I should just block some more tags I just needed to complain a bit first lol
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