#but I’ll damn well try
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And on that note: polyglots are super human
#she absolutely started a sentence in English#switched to German#and then annemieke walked over so she finished in Dutch#losing my mind over this#if I can even become PROFICIENT in a second language I’ll be happy#but being fluent? in TWO additional languages???#not sure if I have the neuroplasticity for that#but I’ll damn well try#nienke latten#rebecca das musical#meine eule heißt duo
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You ever try to show someone not in the Dream SMP fandom DSMP art and they ask “oh! That’s cool, where is it from?”
“Oh, um, just an internet show from a couple years ago.”
“What was it called”
“…..”
#no cause I’m always so nervous to tell people I’m in that fandom bc I know the stereotypes#and I know ppl are immediately going to think that I support the bad people that worked on it#it’s such a constant struggle for me trying to go about showing ppl my art#cause the vast vast majority is dsmp but I know damn well I can’t just show that to ppl#I’ll be stoned in the streets /j#mcyt#mcytblr#dsmp#dsmpblr#dream smp
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thinking about how Belphie’s situation in s1 is so Blackbird (the song) coded
(Because I never stop thinking of lesson 16 and Belphie in season1 I could go on a word rampage about that arc.)
warnings: SPOILERS FOR LESSON 16 OBEY ME lesson 16 is its own warning guys
Notes: I basically just rewrote the s1 Belphie plot line. That’s it. It’s basically the exact same but written narratively lol. Also!! I plan on writing part 3 of the obey me as soulmate tropes (barb and dia are already done) but Solomon’s part is giving me such a creative block for some reason so it’s taking a while! Sorry!
Constructive criticism welcomed :)
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,”
Shouts for help echoed through the hallways of the House of Lamentation. Why did it seem nobody but you (and the man who tried stopping you from approaching the attic, Lucifer) could hear them?
You snook your way around the house, trying to avoid the stars visible from Lucifer’s doorway and other places you’ve seen him roam at night. Even if he was distracted listening to Levi’s TSL vinyl, you didn’t want to risk it. You were determined to go up to the attic and listen to the voice shouting for you to please help, so you could free whatever may be trapped up there or at least hear it out.
You thought for a moment his calls for help sounded akin to a blackbird singing a morning’s song, though there are no mornings in the eternal darkness of the devildom; only the dead of night forever.
“Take these broken wings and learn to fly,”
You carefully made your way up the stairs, “MC, finally, no one is going to stop you. Now’s your chance to climb the stairs.” How did this voice know your name? More importantly, why are they asking you for help? What got them up there in the first place?
Your internal questions halted when you finally came face to face with the person behind the caged door of the attic. He never said his name, however he did ask you for help, and who were you if not humane? You’re here as a human, after all. He instructed to you to make pacts with the six demon brothers, starting with Beelzebub, in order to gain the power to free him. Your heart hurt for the poor human who claimed to have been locked away for so long they’ve forgotten who they are and how long exactly they’ve been locked away.
Make pacts with my brothers, learn to set me free.
“All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive.”
Belphie has been waiting for so long, months now spent just sitting in the same room, air long turned stale. He could tell you exactly how many boards were on the floor and cobwebs were in the corners of the room. Of course, his brother had to lock him away. Of course, his brother chose Diavolo’s rule over his own little brother.
Finally, after so long, there was finally something. A human no less, who had finally managed to enter the attic. If it had to be a human who would save him, so what?
He had been waiting so long for this moment to arrive. A moment to be free again, and even a moment to seek revenge.
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,”
All Belphie heard at night now was the voice of this human. It’s strange how much comfort its grown to bring him, given his plan. But the voice of his brothers and his dead twin would be much more comforting to hear, and his sister was a much more comforting presence.
He knows he won’t miss you when you’re gone, or else he just wouldn’t go through with it, he just wouldn’t continue to manipulate you into working to free him just for him to kill you. But he will miss the routine of having a concerned voice chirping at him in the dead of night while everyone else is asleep. He’s sure Beel will suffice.
“Take these sunken eyes and learn to see,”
At last the moment came, you had finally freed him, even if you weren’t there when the cage opened, he knows it was you. Had you finally made a pact with Lucifer? Is that why he’s free? Credit given where credit is due, you were surprisingly competent for a human. It’s a shame the fate that befalls you. The fate Belphie has the power of stopping, but chooses not to.
Your eyes were so tired he noticed in the brighter lighting of purgatory hall. Sunken and tarnished by dark bags. Was this the result of your late night visits to the attic? Had you just been working too hard? Who knows, I’d rather, who cares? Any pity he felt, he swallowed down and it was quickly drowned by his seething and growing hatred for your kind. Maybe in another life, he and Lilith would be sneaking down into the human world to watch you and your kin, but not anymore. You can’t teach him to see humans as more than vermin.
“All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free.”
A humans life is always only building up to death. It’s what every human spends their life anticipating, waiting for the sweet relief or curdling torture of death. Would you feel dread in your last moments? Perhaps irony? He never could grow fond enough of you to change his plans, but you did plant an invasive seed of interest in him. He hates how he wants to understand you now more than ever, how does the human mind and spirit face death? Are you different from the countless other humans he’s killed? Are you more accepting?
It’s sad to say that the only regret he has from killing you is not making it last long enough for you to express your final thoughts to him. If only he had dragged your death out longer, given you time and air to carefully pick out your last words, maybe even a last emotion shared just with him. The thought of wanting to be the one to see your dying face, hear your dying thoughts and feel your dying senses feels quite intimate for a murderer and the murdered. Maybe in another life you weren’t unfortunate enough to be born as a human. In another life, he thinks. He dwells on the ‘ifs’ too often.
It’s only natural for humans to die. They wait their entire life for that moment of freedom, really he gifted you by killing you while you were still well loved by those around you, his brothers. Oh, his brothers will be mad… they’ll get over it, in time. They can’t love you enough to stay mad at their sweet little brother, right?
#obey me#obey me solmare#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me belphegor#obey me Belphie#om! belphie#I will NEVERRR get over lesson 16#like don’t get me wrong I love Belphie#but we forgave him WAY too fast. why did the brothers take longer to forgive him that we did?? WE died!!!#the brothers should’ve helped us forgive Belphie rather than us help the brothers get comfortable with him#cause I know damn well if you stuck me in the same BUILDING let along room alone with the guy who just killed me#whoowie my first reaction would NOT be trying to befriend him and make amends with his brothers#solmare rushed Belphies arc so bad and I’ll never forgive them for that SO MUCH ANGST POTENTIAL WASTED ON ALL THREE FRONTS#I should make a new post out of this atp instead of hiding in the tags erm lmao
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😀!!!!
#sorry i need to rant on here i’m going crazy aaaaaaaaaaaa#i’m moving to another city in october and i’ve been trying to figure out everything#bc im going from an apartment that i share with friends and a pretty decent room#to a very little room shared with people i don’t know#(well actually one of my best friends + someone i don’t know)#but figuring out what to do with every single one of my things is driving me crazy!!!#i’m trying to sell everything i don’t use anymore#and i’ve donated A TON of old clothes that i haven’t even thought about in years#i thought about hiring movers but i think is going to be too expensive for the amount of stuff i’m moving#cause it’s not that much#if i had a god damn drivers license i could just rent a car and move everything myself#BUT I CANT DRIVE#i’m gonna try to convince my friend to drive me there and i’ll pay for all the expenses#but idk if she’s gonna say yes so i’m AAAAA#anyways thank you and good nite
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Omg Ssreedy <3 saw you going off in my tags, you're the sweetest! ToT You have no idea how much i cherish your kind words, they really motivate me
Also congrats on the new chapter! It made me appreciate Reho so much, I keep growing fonder of this guy!! (Morrak absolutely wrecked him with his diagnosis tho, haha, my man didn't deserved to get dragged so hard)
Anyway that made me remember that I cooked something up last year, but never posted it. (apologies, I probably got some of their details wrong, I did this purely from memory ////) my headcanons of what Ara & Reho look like
GENTLE TREES NOOOOOO you can’t drop OC art in my inbox and expect me to be even the SLIGHTEST bit normal about it.
You’re so amazing, going off in your tags is a damn honor *salutes*
Dude Morrak WRECKED Reho last chapter, and I guess there’s not patient dr confidentiality in this AU because Morrak totally slandered the poor man to Katara of all people lol. At least Reho didn’t have to hear yet another person try to figure out what’s wrong with him haha.
Thank you Gentle you’re so amazing!!! I can’t wait to gush over your art some more in the tags
#I try not to be a freak in the text#I submerge myself in the tags and turn into a crazy person because#DAMN IT GENTLE TREES LOOK AT THEM#THE SURVIVING OCs#well there’s Chang but who knows sokka could off him next chapter lol#gunna need a big stick though#BUT OMG GENTLE THE WAY YOU DREW ARA#you seriously managed to capture the ceramic doll look for her and her expression is just perfect#I’m sure you weren’t meaning to but seriously you nailed it#she’s small and cute and picture perfect but a walking disaster who anyone she comes in contact with gets sucked into her mess#and usually walk away with scars if they get to walk away#omg and REHOOOO#gentle you nailed his idk what’s up but I’m here to chill vibe haha#AND YOU GAVE HIM SANDALS#such a luffy vibe and I just love everything about it haha#his little ace self that just wants to live in a house with all his besties where nothing bad happens#I love his little smile#I think I’ve told you 100 times but I’ll tell you 100 more#your expressions are fucking GOLD#I’m haunted in a good way by your art especially the last one with the sad zuko (he was rescued though so yippieee) and idk I just#love your style so much#thanks for sharing these with me#I swear I get a fanart and it’s like 100 HP to my writing#like I just swallowed a gold star and I’m about to fuck shit up in a good way#Ok sorry gentle I’m going to stop rambling but again#THANK YOU#made my whole night haha#liab#ITF#gentletrees
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Do you think his glass eye moves with his other eye when it looks around? I don’t!
Also I made him cry through his one working eye because I’m fucked up like that.
Something is seriously wrong with me.
#sally face#sally face fan art#work in progress#sketch#art wip#portrait#why does the head always look so big compared to the body#I’ll fix it when rendering or whatever#no but seriously I try so hard not to make the head too big#yet it always looks that way#even when I know damn well that’s how big the head is supposed to be in my art style
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big al is literally that “i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me” meme and i think that’s what every geriatric mercenary needs to aspire to
#oc txt.#c: alberta#i mean SHE IS A BAD BITCH#88 in show timeline and she’s still out here like i wish i bitch would 🤨#doesn’t give a damn!#her only weakness is her granddaughter 🥰 bc she loves her more than she’s loved anything or anyone#homegirl has been killing for caps since she was 25 and showed no signs of stopping until bethany got stuck in the middle#of some retaliation against her when she was 15#after that she was like I GUESS it’s time to hang it all up 😔✌️ … lol kidding 😝 i’ll break your legs#she doesn’t trust a single mf but they’ve done well in gecko springs and live just on the outskirts#run a little gecko farm#for the last fifteen or so years#she sits on the porch with er rifle all day and listens to her wind chimes while threatening to snipe jonas from ALL THE WAY back there#and she probably could tbh!#bethany is still like traumatized tho so she keeps to herself and tends to her geckos#keeps trying to domesticate them but it’s only worked once 💀#named him sugar bomb and he’s her best friend 💕🦎#big al forces het to go be an adult in town tho#get outta the house and live bith#not everyone has 400 lives like that old hag
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Should I download the sims on ps4 to distract myself tonight
#I love the sims but I can’t play it on my laptop rn lmfao#it would probably explode if I even tried to boot it up#but I’ve been trying to figure out what to do cause I know damn well I’ll need something to be distracted
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Have you ever considered making DC stickers?? Your JoJos ones were SO cute and I'd love little justice leagues like those
everyday i consider this. whether or not i have the skills and/or ideas is another question entirely
#i also wanna make valentine day cards w dc just like i did w jojo!#but i’ve been having a crisis over my toony/chibi styles so i’m still trying to figure out how to do them. well. justice#i’ll def have to do polls to see which charas are the most popular bc there are just way too many dc ones and i gotta also consider budget#tbh i think a big part of why i haven’t started is also bc i feel like my dc world is so small rn#ik ppl are gonna ask for batfam stickers but i havent even officially met some of them#or young justice merch but the only yj exposure i have is animated not 98#ik for a FACT i’ll be doing dc lps stickers tho. wait why didn’t i just lead w that#turns out i might have some ideas after all 😎#nicheness be damned i’m making the merch *I* wanna have!!!#danswers#dc#merch#toytlebox#btw i haven’t forgotten abt the hal concussion charm it’s just a logistical nightmare lmao
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guess who had fucking pesto w their most DARLING NUT THAT THEYRE FUCKING ALLERGIC TO
#stream#‘i was like what the fuck is in this ?’ ‘this is the only thing in this ? it’s supposed to be normal pesto basil ?’ NOPE#ITS FUCKING CASHEWS AND PESTO#IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF#literally i was hitting my#just used the fucking epipen if i vomit i vomit but i would rather not#inhaler like is this why my throat is closing up ??? like NO ???? bc then i was sweating like ok … i see what’s happening#maybe i’ll just take like a few benadryl i’ll see if im allowed to do that#I FOUND 3 BLESS#so i’ve taken 3 benadryl + the epipen i should probably just take another allegra bc im only taking 120mg here#i’m determined to not vomit#it’s so fucking annoying#I HATE MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE#I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HEALTHY FOR ONCE#I HATE EVERYONE WHO EATS CASHEWS WHY DO YALL PUT IT IN FUCKING EVERYTHING WHO ASKED FOR THIS#everyday i pray we get cricket protein like pls anyone just put crickets into thinks im BEGGING#unrelated but#i’m#strongly considering getting several boxes of crickets from the pet store then just releasing them here on my accom bc i hate them#so much#like i’m fully not even going to tell them abt the mouse that fucking broke into my cupboard like i saw it today she has shit EVERYWHERE &#am sayin good for her bc yall know damn well that i did not fucking vacuum those lentils or nothing up she deserves a snack bc i even saw#her lil tail on the side of my window earlier like she’s so damn cute i know ur there sweetheart ❤️❤️❤️❤️#i hope she never dies
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This past week of booping has made me realize that I should blog more to interact with more people. So Im gonna try and blog every once and a while about stuff I like to be more social :ppp
That being said my first post is gonna be cat pictures I have.
#my post#boop#booping#cats#I know damn well this is not gonna be daily but I’ll try#I’m just a shy person in general but I would love to get to know people on here :3333
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it is so nuts trying to have a healthy relationship with food when your sibling is trying to be a gym bro
#marzi speaks#i’ve been working on doing the whole intuitive eating thing#bc i have issues with my appetite and i want to make sure i’m both keeping myself fed and healthy and not having to see food as a chore#and it’s working out for me! and i’m having a good time and i genuinely enjoy food#and my parents are happy with it bc it’s working out for me. i think my mom’s happy to see me try to keep a healthy mindset with food#bc she struggled with it for a long time and is just starting to figure out what works for her herself etc etc#but it gets SO weird with my brother sometimes#i’ll grab a snack or smth sugary or high carb or whatever and he’ll be like ‘damn that’s so unhealthy :/‘#and i’m like. no??? it’s got these nutrients??#and he’ll go ‘yeah but it’s junk food’ and i have to look at him and be like ‘no food is inherently better or worse than other food’#‘i eat these types of foods in moderation with more nutrient-dense foods as well. i’m doing fine’#and he’s always like ‘…..okay… i wouldn’t eat it though’ and i just look at him like. Alright king#it doesn’t bug me bc idgaf what he thinks but it DOES make me worry for him a little#he felt guilty for eating oreo cakesters today. he had 2 of the 3 in his pack n he was like ‘i feel bad for eating these :(‘#and i asked ‘well are you full? like do u feel sick? or???’#and he was like ‘no i just feel guilty’#and i had to remind him that he’s allowed to eat and enjoy them. and it’s fine and he doesn’t have to earn it#idk how well it stuck but he did finish it bc he wanted to finish it so. i dunno#he’s got some shit to work through. he’ll figure it out i’m sure
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*climbs into your window* Wouldst thou like some scraps of ‘Hello Again’ content to tide you over during this acursed hiatus?
Below are some drawings of Ramona, Jessica, and Sadie for you to peruse if you’re interested in how I imagined them to look. And, technically, I guess you could say these are their “canon” physical appearances, so, if you don’t want to ruin the mental illusion you have of your own headcanons for these characters, don’t look below the cut! Ye be warned!
I’ve had these doodles for a while now, I actually did them when I was coming up with each character and their personality. Having actual images to glance at every now and then makes it easier to keep them in character, since they feel more real and fleshed out when there’s a face to go with the name. Hopefully that makes sense?? Maybe I’m just bizarre.
I’m an artist first and a writer second, so drawing is actually more in my wheelhouse lol. It’s a little funny to think about how much effort I’ve put into this fic considering writing is only a hobby. I should be putting this energy into school… >_>
If you guys have wildly different mental images of these three, or maybe if these are scarily accurate to how you imagined them, I’d love to know what they are! Bonus points if you draw them (or create them with something like an avatar maker or a picrew, that counts too).
#I have rougher drawings of Scot and Jerry as well that I can clean up and post if anyone wants to see them#I don’t draw much for fnaf since I’m terrible at drawing mechs >_>#but maybe I’ll try more??#actually I do have my (so far) only attempt at drawing funfred somewhere in my camera roll…. I’ll see if I can track it down#so you guys can point and laugh and throw rocks at my abysmal mech drawing skills#the day I learn how to draw a god damn robot it’s over for you bitches
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Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.
#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games#but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you?#the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart#listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past.#the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage#but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it#it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow.#the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you#it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always.#how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch#like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry.#but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past#and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care.#I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care.#and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered.#god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love.#and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines#and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through.#HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING#dean highbottom#coriolanus snow#the hunger games#a ballad of songbirds and snakes#haymitch abernathy#thg#abosas#suzanne collins#SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS
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i’m gonna kms i can’t sleep
#it’s 2am and like i woke up so damn early this morning and didn’t take any naps thinking i’ll be able to go to sleep early#i did fall asleep very lightly for a second but then my cat woke me up#and even when i was asleep i was barely asleep#and adhd makes it SO. incredibly painful to try to fall asleep when you can’t fucking fall asleep like GOD.#mind you i can afford to sleep in tomorrow morning but on sunday morning im gonna have to wake up at 5am to WALK to fucking WORK#so i wanna train myself a little bit at least#but oh well#we’ll see how this goes#.txt
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I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn
#need to talk to anyone irl who isn’t related to me or dating my mom or my therapist#anyone else near me please I’m losing my mind#nature isn’t healing me sleeping in a fully dark room all day isn’t healing me how do I magically fix this without having to put any work#into it oh I can’t oh u have to do the work okay how do I do that. therapy once a week. oh. okay. yup.#can I speedrun it? oh no? I can’t. oh damn. okay fine whatever. therapy once a week. AND I HAVE TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND DO WHAT SHE SAYS. bro#what the hell okay fine#well here I am !!!!! where is the fixing where is the feeling better I feel like all I do is stir up all these touch emotions from every#part of my life at once and then she sends me off to rot for week before I come back and talk again#I just feel like I’m losing it!!!!! and ik it’s extra bad bc birthday countdown is on in my brain and im stressed and i feel like a huge#fuck up that can never be fixed and like I will die having done nothing with my life except weigh other people down and so exhausting and my#brain won’t ever shut up like yes I get it years and years and years of built up shit that I never properly dealt with and still hold blame#for constantly and I feel like I will never be fixed like I CANT be fixed like this is a losing battle and I just am struggling today man#idk what I was saying I just took my morning weed hit to try and relax my back a little and now my brain is like scrambled eggs#which is good that means it’s working#I’m gonna try to take a nap maybe cause I only slept four hours and it was like choppy thru the night and then maybe I’ll go to the lake#later I’ve been feeling the need to be in a body of water recently
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