#but I wrote a research paper on this in my first semester

[algolagniaa]

Hi, what do you mean about natural birth methods?

I mean home birth/freebirth. ik there’s a stigma but hear me out

the way we understand birth, culturally, is very medicalized, and as such it’s very standardized. we tend to trust doctors and assume that the way hospitals do things is for our own good but tbh the medical world is shit to women and birth isn’t any different. a lot of the ways hospitals handle birth aren’t really for the mother’s benefit but for the doctor’s. even something as simple as women giving birth lying down in a hospital bed - it’s done because hospitals have beds so it’s more adapted to the medical setting, and because it’s easier for the doctor to do whatever if the mother is on her back (actually the practice started because king Louis XIV had a fetish but w/e). but for most of history women gave birth squatting, which helps the baby come out easier and is easier on the mother’s pelvis. also iirc it’s less painful and makes labor shorter.

home births, whether attended by a midwife or not, allow women to take charge of their own birth experience and give birth in the way that feels most safe and comfortable for her. they’re associated with a lot less maternal complications and interventions (like epidurals C sections etc) and less pain during childbirth too. birth is a natural process for every animal and generally when a woman gives birth she knows in her body what she needs to do, and home births give her the space to Do That in a comfortable environment rather than being stressed out and prevented from doing what she needs when she’s in a vulnerable position. a lot of women who give birth at home look back on their birth experiences a lot more fondly than women giving birth in hospitals tend to because of this.

[lady-of-ocs]

GUESS WHO'S DONE WITH THE SEMESTER AND READY TO BINGE ALL OF HAIKYUU OVER CHRISTMAS

THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S ME! I'M THE BITCH WHO'S DONE WITH THE SEMESTER AND READY TO BINGE ALL OF HAIKYUU OVER CHRISTMAS! I researched and wrote a five page paper in the span of about four hours today and that was the last thing I had to do because my acting professor cancelled our final meeting (he cancelled a lot this semester so I am not surprised...)

ANYWAY! I got through to episode 17! So let's talk about some stuff.

Kageyama is the least subtle guy on the team and I love him for it. Bless that socially awkward boy. I kind of love that he can acknowledge that Oikawa is good (because he is) but he's not letting it get him down anymore. YOU'RE DOING GREAT, SWEETIE!

Tsukki!!!! First of all, top tier comedy of him hitting Hinata's diarrhea pressure point and then just walking away. Hina's probably fine. I also love that he actually took Akiteru up on his offer! You can clearly see that this is great practice for Tsukki and it's very satisfying to watch him grow. Also, good old sibling bonding! It's what I live for!

I know I just saw them literally yesterday but IT'S NEKOMA AND FUKURODANI! MY OTHER BOYS! I'm glad that they're consistently scattered in throughout the show. They're all so great and have such nice relationship with the Karasuno boys that it would be a shame if we only got to see them during things like the training camp or official games. ALSO NOT KUROO AND DAICHI BREAKING MY HEART WITH THE "the dumpster battle is the last chance for us" THING. DON'T FUCKING REMIND ME, KUROO! I'VE LITERALLY ALREADY WATCHED YOUR DUMPSTER BATTLE AND IT MADE ME EMOTIONAL! DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY AGAIN, KUROO?

I enjoy training montages very much and I was really excited to see Yamaguchi seemingly pull off a serve against Nishinoya. I can't wait to see him successfully jump float serve in an official game. I'm going to have to take a lap around whatever room I'm in when that happens.

YES I DID SPEND TWO MORE EPISODES BEING THIRSTY FOR TERUSHIMA. I SAW HIM AND WENT "oh my god it's the sexy guy." Spent the entire Karasuno/Johzenji match kicking my feet twirling my hair every time he did something cool.

Stepping away from Terushima for a minute- THE BATHROOM SCENE. H E L P. I'D SEEN IT BEFORE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THIS SOON IN THE SERIES. SOMEONE SAVE HINATA LMAO. I like Iwaizumi a lot, honestly. One of the people who will call Oikawa on his bullshit and who can actually get through to him. Also AONE! MY BIG QUIET BABY! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM MUCHO (oh by the way I got a 57% on my Spanish final lol).

I like Tsukki's new glasses! I like them even more because 1. Akiteru gave them to him and 2. because apparently he's had them a while and Hinata's been consistently complimenting them every day. Underrated hilarious duo.

So, back on the Karasuno/Johzenji match. That was a fun one. You never really doubt that Karasuno is going to win (even if you don't already know the spoilers), but it's still an entertaining match. I have massive respect for Johzenji's manager! She whipped them into shape better than their coach could! And I'm really glad that by the end of the game, they realized her value and gave her the appreciation and thanks she deserved. They also had some wild plays during the game and those were fun. Their failed attempt at a synchronized attack at the end of the first set had me rolling. And I enjoyed seeing Karasuno use their whole arsenal of weapons against Johzenji! I knew nothing about volleyball (other than the basic stuff they teach you in P.E.) prior to watching this show but now I'm invested. I perk up every time volleyball is on at the gym.

FANTASTIC BLOCK, KAGEYAMA. NO NOTES. WELL, ONE TINY NOTE: DON'T BLOCK WITH YOUR FACE. In all seriousness, poor baby. I'm always glad to see Suga get to play, though! And I love that Yamaguchi was the one who shoved Kageyama away from the game so that he could get his nose checked out.

Daichi is a fantastic captain. You see that a lot, but it was really highlighted in the Johzenji match and it's been like that so far in the Wakutani match as well. I WONDER WHAT THE TEAM WILL DO WITHOUT HIM NOW THAT HE'S FUCKING DEAD-

Yachi remains a flaming homosexual (I see you looking at Saeko's boobs, girl) and I love her. This is my gay daughter, Yachi Hitoka, everyone.

THE SOUND THAT WAS MADE WHEN DAICHI COLLIDED WITH TANAKA HELP PLEASE- God, that was a terrible sound. And I know he's fine. I've seen all the "RIP dead Daichi" jokes. Daichi's only a little dead. BUT THAT ONE SHOT OF HIM JUST LAYING COMPLETELY STILL ON THE GYM FLOOR WAS NOT OKAY FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH ALRIGHT. BLOOD LITERALLY WENT COLD. THE LOOK ON EVERYONE'S FACES (barring Tanaka who is not taking this seriously) DID NOT HELP. I GOTTA WATCH THAT NEXT EPISODE BEFORE I GO HOME TOMORROW BECAUSE THE CLIFFHANGER OF DEAD DAICHI IS GOING TO KEEP ME UP TONIGHT.

Speaking of which, yes, I'm going to be heading home for break tomorrow! I've got about a month off, so I should have time to watch a lot more! I'm not totally sure I'll be able to keep up these big reaction posts, but I'll try! If I don't end up keeping them up, I'll make one when I get back! If that's the case, I'll see you all in the new year!

[nodalstudies]

recent updates <3

i finished my first school session of the year last week! i got an A on my anatomy and physiology final 🥹 i’ve become more efficient and resourceful with studying now that i’m used to my program’s structure. love that!

other developments: i had free time after my session ended and literally wrote a research paper on how i’ve been exploring my sexuality/relationship dynamics using marvel names (peter, shuri, mj) LOL a girl has hobbies!

looking forward to the session ahead <3 it’s my last semester of doing gen ed. excitedddd

[finnlongman]

hi, I just found your blog :)

If I may ask, how in the world did you manage to write entire books while also being a PhD student????

Is there a way to not let your PhD consume every waking hour of your life?? :') please tell me your secret

Heh, well, the first thing to note is that I'm in the first year of my PhD, and traditional publishing is slow. So the books I'm talking about right now -- Moth to a Flame and The Wolf and His King -- have been in the works since long before I started my PhD. I originally wrote The Wolf and His King in winter 2019, when I had a full-time job; I originally drafted Moth to a Flame during my full-time MA in 2020. So the PhD is only the latest thing they've had to compete with for my time and attention!

I've always been writing alongside everything else -- I wrote my first novel at 13 and I was writing the whole way through my school years, despite doing a million extra-curriculars. Honestly, I have no idea where I found the energy, but it got me into the habit of writing during lunchbreaks or in short bursts whenever I had the time, and while that's not my preferred way to work these days, it sure did teach me a lot. These days I've got two sets of edits and promo and admin, and the PhD, and my occasional side-gig as a bodhrán player in a couple of trad bands, and whatever other casual work I pick up (today I was invigilating exams), so it's always a balancing act.

But specifically, with these next two books: Moth to a Flame was largely finished before I started my PhD in October, with structural edits done; I was partway through line edits during the first month of my PhD, and then copyedits and proofreading after that. I was doing copyedits over Christmas, including on my phone during a family visit on New Year's Eve. I've been editing The Wolf and His King more recently, with structural edits also happening mainly over Christmas (working on Christmas Day, my favourite) and line-edits happening right now.

Balancing TWAHK with my PhD, or The Butterfly Assassin with my MA (since I sold it at the start of my second semester and that wasn't the best timing), has mostly been about speed and prioritisation. I'm lucky to be a fast writer and a fast reader, so I can get 7k of academic writing on paper in the course of a day or two and therefore keep the wolf (my supervisor) from the door while I run off and do line-edits. Doesn't mean I should, but it happens more than I care to admit. Likewise, I can (and regularly do) edit/rewrite a novel in the space of two weeks, even if that is also not sustainable.

But it's also about being open with my editors (and supervisors) about my deadlines -- e.g. we pulled line-edits for TWAHK forward to March, even though I only submitted structural edits at the start of February and there's often a longer gap, because I'm going to be super busy with PhD work in April ahead of a deadline at the start of May, so I knew I needed to get the bulk of the work out of the way. That means right now, I'm spending more time on writing, but next month, it'll be nearly all academic work.

On really good days I can do both, and usually write for 1-2 hours in the morning, work all afternoon, and then write again in the evenings (this is what I was doing in December with structural edits), but with chronic pain/fatigue and a changeable schedule, that's harder.

Mostly, though, I'm lucky that my adult books and my PhD are very closely related, so a lot of the research I'm doing for the books also feeds into my PhD, and vice versa -- meaning that a lot of the time, I'm multitasking. It was much harder when I was juggling The Butterfly Assassin and my MA, since they had nothing in common; I would basically just focus on one or the other at a time, and was very grateful that we got a slight extension for our thesis submission deadline because of covid or I don't think it would've been in on time.

Oh, and I also don't have a social life (thanks covid + disabilities) so there's that, too. And my house is a mess and I don't eat enough vegetables. But I don't have any caring responsibilities or dependents, and at the moment I don't have fixed hours/work obligations, so that's something.

As for how I used to write when I had a full-time job (and disabilities) (and a social life)... honestly I was definitely writing at work sometimes. And not just on my lunchbreak. 🤫

[thefirstempress]

Some background on The First Empress

So the following excerpt was going to be my original foreword for The First Empress. Last October, however, I was informed in a rejection letter that the foreword was too long (among other, more homophobic reasons for rejecting it). Then, when I looked up how to write a foreword, I found out that, at least in fiction, it's customary to have someone else write it for you. While Matthew Keville (@matthewkeville) was kind enough to write my new foreword, I kept the original foreword, and at a beta reader's suggestion I think I'm going to use it as an "About" page for my website. Content warning for background and personal history.

I think it was fall semester of 2002 at Boise State University. During one of my literature courses, the professor was highly impressed with my reading responses for Homer’s Iliad, particularly in regards to my observation that the story is in no way a conflict between good and evil. And I liked that about it. I liked that there were noble and ignoble characters as well as likable and unlikable characters on both sides of the conflict. In his notes on one of my responses, Professor Jim recommended that I read Thucydides’s History of the Peloponnesian War, which began my interest in ancient history in general and Classical Greece in particular. One of my college friends owned a lovely little coffeehouse/used bookstore for several years, and I bought many volumes out of her ancient history section.

In the late ‘00s, I developed acute depression/anxiety while working on my Master’s Degree in Literature. Though I somehow managed to complete my degree, my depression became so severe that in 2011 I had to step down from a teaching job I loved beside colleagues I liked, because I couldn’t function well enough to fulfill my duties outside the classroom. I decided it was horribly unfair to my students that they couldn’t count on me to do my part, so I walked away. I made the most painful decision I’ve made in my life and stepped down from a job I’d spent three years studying and training for.

My first successful step toward recovery came when I started writing for myself again. No more thirty-page theses, no more ten-page research papers written over the weekend, no more feedback on forty-to-sixty student papers. I typed up some story concepts and revisited some old stories that I hadn’t looked at in a decade. I started a blog, and then a side-blog, and then a Tumblr page to go with the side-blog. I even started a fan-fiction account that features mostly The Legend of Korra novellas and Star Wars one-shots.

During the summer of 2012, I wrote several chapters of a young-adult fantasy novel in a high- to late-medieval setting, featuring a young, somewhat Mary-Sue heroine whose wizened mentor was named Zahnia, the Chronicler—an immortal historian trapped forever as a nine-year-old girl. As I started to flesh out Zahnia’s character, I decided I wanted to explore her origin story, tying it in with the creation of the Tollesian Empire, where the story takes place. For National Novel Writing Month 2012, I began work on the first draft of The First Empress and spent over ten years tinkering, expanding, and revising in my free time. But the more I worked on the story, the bigger it got. George RR Martin once described a spectrum of writers, ranging from architects who outline and design the structure and foundation of their story before they start writing, to gardeners who plant the seeds of the story, then let it grow, expand, and develop organically. I’m very much the ­garden-variety writer.

And so the story kept getting bigger, both in my head and on paper. I fell short of the original 50K word goal by over 10K, but felt like I had a pretty solid start. By the end of that first NaNoWriMo, I knew that it was probably going to be multiple books, so I narrowed down what I wanted to include in Book I and started focusing on those story lines. The original story was to be two separate stories that converge at the end of Book I, with the main story focusing on the title protagonist, Queen Viarra, and the first year of her rise to power, while the background story focuses on Zahnia, the curse of her immortality, and her escape from her captors. In the original outline, Book I would end with our characters first meeting.

Even in the early stages, however, it was extremely difficult to reconcile the two stories. Viarra’s story was over twice the size of Zahnia’s and, for the most part, more exciting for my beta-readers. Zahnia’s scenes often felt like unwelcome interruptions, rather than interesting interludes, and were difficult to intersperse side-by-side with scenes happening in Viarra’s story. At some point in the process, I stopped trying to intersperse them and made Zahnia’s scenes separate chapters. While this worked better, there could be as many as four or five Viarra chapters between Zahnia chapters, and some of my readers pointed out that they sometimes had to go back and reread previous Zahnia chapters to understand what was happening in the latest chapter. I occasionally thought about taking Zahnia’s story out altogether and making it its own novel.

I made my ultimate decision on the matter in July of 2021 when I finally finished the first complete draft of The First Empress. The draft weighed in at over 206K words—which I knew was a lot, but I didn’t grasp the full size until one of my readers pointed out that in paperback format, that’s over eight-hundred pages! I decided almost immediately that the best option was to split them up into three books. Books I and II now deal entirely with the first year of Viarra’s rise to power, meeting Zahnia, her future chronicler, at the end of Book II. Book III is instead mostly about Zahnia’s origins, including her curse of immortality and her daring escape from the madmen who cursed her. This worked out wonderfully as it allowed me to break the revision process into smaller chunks instead of attempting to revise 800 pages in one go.

Though Zahnia isn’t physically present for Book I and only gets a single scene in Book II, I make sure she’s still present in spirit throughout both books. In homage to classic fantasy stories like Frank Herbert’s Dune or Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series, I include epigrams written by Zahnia at the beginning of each chapter. Additionally, all footnotes and appendices are also by her. Despite her unavoidable sidelining in what was supposed to be her origin story, Zahnia became something of an alter-ego for me, and I want readers to understand that she is still a foundational character in the series.

While brainstorming leading up to that first NaNoWriMo, I decided to put my studies of Ancient Greek history to use, basing the setting and culture on the late-Classical, early-Hellenic Aegean Sea and the surrounding regions. The culture, politics, and technology—both in how they begin and how they advance as the series progresses—are intended to feel similar to the cultural, political, and technological changes occurring in the wake of the Peloponnesian War through the rise of Kings Philip II and Alexander the Great and beyond. Indeed, Philip and to a lesser degree Alexander were both inspirations for Queen Viarraluca, my title heroine.

(That being said, I don’t tend to view any of my characters as being an equivalent of X figure from Greek history. I drew inspiration from many historical and fictional characters for my cast, but I don’t have a story-world equivalent of Socrates or Pericles or Leonidas or Sappho or Olympias or whoever.)

The setting, though, is less intended to feel historically accurate and more about feeling historically authentic. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a hobbyist historian who hasn’t taken a history course since early in my undergrad studies. Thus, all of my reading and research is unguided, and I have no idea how well my understanding and analyses align with contemporary views. Ultimately, The First Empress is an ancient-world period-fantasy that’s inspired by rather than entirely representative of late-Classical Greece.

Throughout the process, I loved playing with the ancient-world world-building and found perverse enjoyment in taking pagan gods’ names in vain, portraying ancient inventions as new and exciting technology, and treating pants as an unusual and barbarian garment. But as a fantasy, I of course included plenty of embellishments. Sometimes world-building is brainstorming how an intelligent warrior queen and her officers would attempt to adapt a hoplite-centered army to fighting in forested terrain, generally considered unfavorable to phalanx warfare. Sometimes world-building is giving a society based on the Ancient Greeks access to tea, despite zero evidence that the Ancient Greeks had anything similar to tea, all because my warrior-queen protagonist seems like a tea-drinker.

I tried as well to include neighboring cultures inspired by those the Classical Greeks had contact with. The Tollesians are inspired by Classical Greece—the Empire Pellastor and its allies being akin to the Attic and Peloponnesian Greeks while the Hegemony of Andivel and their allies are more like the Ionian Greeks. The Illaran League was originally inspired by the Ancient Illyrians but evolved into more of an Illyrian/Macedonian hybrid. The Gan are inspired by the Gauls. The Venarri are Phoenician. The Artilans are Achaemenid-era Persian. The Kossôn are Achaemenid-era Egyptian. The Wattasu are inspired by Classical-era Nasamones. And the Verleki are largely inspired by the Ancient Scythians. I want to emphasize inspired by, as I’m not an expert on any of these ancient cultures. I have no illusions that I didn’t make mistakes or misinterpret things. I also eventually hope to include cultures inspired by the Samnites, Germanic tribes, Kushites, and possibly even cultures as distant as the Han and Mayans.

Experimenting with ancient-world cultures and in particular with ancient-world sexuality has been some of the most fun I’ve had writing. The Classical Greeks were an openly sexual culture, openly bisexual and often polyamorous. Rather than gloss over their sexuality like a coward, I chose to let my characters embrace it in the story. In doing so, I quickly decided that authors who only write monogamous, heterosexual relationships are missing out on all kinds of wonderful and fascinating relationship dynamics. Queen Viarra is a lesbian, and nearly all of the other characters fall somewhere on a pan- or bisexual spectrum. Zahnia, meanwhile, is asexual, as is one of Viarra’s ambassadors. I have a transgender hoplite officer, as well, and I have other characters in mind for future LGBT+ representation. As bisexuality was normal and even expected in Classical Greek culture, I try to treat it as something normal in my stories as well.

Though so far only one person has asked me why I’d include LGBT+ characters when I’m not LGBT myself, my answer to them and anyone else is that positive representation is important. Louie, my therapist, shared an anecdote during one of our sessions back in 2021 and gave me permission to share with readers. He was hosting some friends of his family for a few days, including his childhood friend who is a lesbian. His copy of my manuscript was lying around, and he started telling them about my lesbian title protagonist who’s also a strong ruler and a formidable warrior queen. His friend was very curious and asked smart questions about the character and story-world. Louie told me that she almost teary-eyed asked him to thank me for writing the characters as gay. She apparently was thrilled not only at the gay representation from the leading couple, but also at the bi representation from other characters.

When a gay woman in her late forties gets teary-eyed at the inclusion of a lesbian couple in a period-fantasy novel, I think it’s a sign that this kind of representation is absolutely necessary.

On the other hand, there were other aspects of Classical Greek culture that I wasn’t as keen about attempting to portray. The Greeks at the time were notoriously misogynist, for example. Much of Greek culture viewed women as property. Athens in particular had all kinds of laws restricting women, including a truly heinous law specifying that female slaves’ court testimonies were only valid if they testified under torture. I did away with a lot of that in my story-world. Scythians, Illyrians, Nubians, Sarmatians, Lusitanians, Suebi, Gauls: plenty of ancient cultures had traditions of skilled huntresses, warrior women, women pirates, influential queens and noblewomen, and successful businesswomen. Philip II of Macedon’s first wife was warrior queen, and he allowed their daughter and granddaughter to be trained in the same manner. That the Classical Greeks couldn’t get with the program is frankly their loss.

As this is my story-world and my tale to tell, I saw no particular reason to carry on that tradition. Queen Viarra isn’t the only powerful queen in the story, nor is she the only woman-warrior in hoplite’s panoply. Though a certain level of misogyny exists, it’s on the level of individual characters or communities, rather than a cultural norm.

Why?

Because it doesn’t have to be a norm! It’s fiction! Misogyny and sexism don’t have to be normal! Racism doesn’t have to be normal! Homophobia and transphobia don’t have to be normal! I shouldn’t have to create a hateful story in order to meet some mouth-breathing neoclassicist’s concept of historical accuracy. One of the best things I learned from reading Effie Calvin and Garrett Robinson’s novels is that truly excellent and inclusive stories with engaging characters, world-building, and conflicts can be created without some need to incorporate real-world prejudices. And when these prejudices do show up in The First Empress, I try to set them up as criticisms of ancient society, rather than something I lazily included for some pretense of “historical accuracy.”

At least three of my beta-readers compared The First Empress favorably to George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. (To paraphrase one of my Tumblr readers, any fantasy with historical inspiration and more politics than wizards will draw Game of Thrones comparisons.) Even so, not only would I never assume to be in the same league as an award-winning fantasy author whose stories have sold countless millions of copies and gotten their own popular television adaptation, I don’t feel like Martin’s goals as a storyteller are at all similar to mine. His stories seem to place the most emphasis on shocking readers—and he’s unparalleled at it! My goal is to give readers a lot to think about. Hopefully I pull that off well.Plus, if readers can handle A Song of Ice and Fire… I think The First Empress might seem a little mellow by comparison.

Thanks so much for your interest in my book, folks. I hope you find my story and characters entertaining, interesting, thought-provoking, or at the very least enjoyable to read. Thanks for reading and take care!

[fennthetalkingdog]

I don't know if I'm in the minority on this, but I love writing essays. The feeling of choosing something that seems fun, getting to research it, organizing what you've learned in a neat and tidy way, and now having a random pocket of knowledge that stays with you for the rest of your life is something that I can hardly ever replicate elsewise. Some of my favorite hyperfixations have come from essays and other research projects that I had to do for school (like when I learned about LSD for a biology project on cell communication, or when I wrote a speech on neopronouns for a public speaking class)! And I miss so much having a class where I can just... do what I love, for credit! I haven't had a research class since my first semester and I'm feeling it 😔 One of my friends asked me for advice about choosing a topic and I got so excited at just the mention of a research paper that I started happy stimming hard, lol. I really should just write a paper on my own time, but then I'd need some executives to function for once, *sigh*.

[gutterpede]

Thinking about my modernisms art history class and how for the final we had to create some sort of map detailing any part of the material discussed in class, and submit it with an essay explaining and detailing your work. And even though the essay counted for like 2/3 of that final grade, I decided to collect aspects and details from the entirety of the curriculum and amass them into one massive unreadable map, to showcase how interconnected and complex history is.

Anyways here’s how I did it first I went over every unit and gathered names of artists, movements, historical events/conditions, and other influences, wrote down all of them and how they connected to one another, and made four different webs on transfer paper that layered one another

PS this is by no means meant to cover all aspects of modernisms or art history this is just what we looked at that semester. Also I miss research and learning with others. I guess I miss school. Whatever

[starblue2406]

Every year, the Colegio de Bachilleres in collaboration with ESRU organizes an essay contest. It consists of you doing a scrutiny based on four topics that they give you. Three of these topics are research topics and the fourth is to write some narrative writing.

In short, I participated in my last semester of high school, I had already planned to compete in order to leave in style, but it was my teacher of the subject “language and communication” who reaffirmed my desire to compete by giving a test to the whole class where we had to write a minimum of 10 lines on three topics that he wrote on the blackboard. He explained to us what each of the themes of the contest consisted of, in the last one, we had to write about something that had happened to us and relate it to a teaching that would help us as people.

He also offered us that if we participated, we would not have to do anything more than hand in a 250-word paper per week and write our text in the classroom. Basically I would get a free 10.

Everyone handed in their text and then revealed that this was a test, because the topics were the same as in the ESRU competition, which had only exempted the topic of “my story”.

Shortly thereafter, he had us do another activity and was calling one by one students who he considered had the potential to participate in the contest. One of them was me, he offered to be my tutor and encouraged me to participate in one of the 4 categories. I, of course, said yes.

The awards are exquisite. At each site there is a first, second and third place, as well as an overall first place for all sites.

First place overall wins an all-expense paid trip to Spain.

For each site, first place is a computer, second place a tablet and third place a speaker (to be honest, it's a little disappointing, unless it's a very good quality speaker or a good brand).

I of course even finished my text quickly, in a previous year I also wanted to participate, but I still had deficiencies with my writing, I didn't have a clear idea of what to write and there wasn't a tutor who really wanted to help (it was necessary to have a tutor, not only to help you with your work but also to enroll you).

On this occasion, I was crystal clear about what I wanted to tell, a story based on a personal tragedy and the Oscar nominated movie “Robot Dreams”. It is a story written as a fable.

My teacher was very helpful, even the text is written with the “sandwinch” structure (as we call it), which was to join my story told in the style of an essay that talks about friendship, but without having to explain all the allegories to the reader.

Yesterday the winners were announced on the official Colegio de Bachilleres website, I was excited, I handed in my work until the last day, June 14, (mostly because my teacher took a while to help me in the last revision since he was also participating in the teachers' category with his own work and that of other students) and finally, September 2, we see the results.

And look! I've been a winner on my campus. I don't know any of those classmates, it makes me sad not to see the name of a great friend of mine who also competed, but I won this prize for her too.

Don't get confused, everyone is sorted in alphabetical order, but they still don't say who came in what place, that will be known until September 30, where there will be an awards ceremony, where the winner of the trip and the winner of each place per campus will be announced.

Quote from the call for entries: “The jury may or may not assign three winners for each site, according to the quality of the work.

The names of the winners from each campus will be published in alphabetical order on the Colegio de Bachilleres website on

Colegio de Bachilleres website on September 2, 2024.

The overall first place winner will be announced at the Awards Ceremony. The

Award Ceremony will be held on September 30, 2024, at a venue to be confirmed.

At this event, the place obtained by each student will be announced, the corresponding prizes will be awarded and the name of the winner will be announced.

and the name of the overall first place winner will be announced.”

It is the first time that I put my writing to the test like this, I feel that this was the right time to participate and I am proud of my result and excited to know the great truth. Of course I will upload everything that happens in relation to this at a later date, including the award ceremony.

When it is September 30, I will tell everything that happened and I will also publish my writing so that you can know the text that has been the first of many steps in my journey as a writer.

[regina-bithyniae]

So I'm considering whether to go to grad school for econ. Could you offer any suggestions for, like, (classic) papers to read for an advanced undergraduate, the reading of which might help discern whether one has the aptitude/interest sufficient to go to grad school? esp. like, The Papers You Should've Read in Undergrad type papers

Starter warning: I did a masters of economics, not a full PhD. But I did strongly consider the PhD for a while and did research, and know people who did one (@powermonger please chime in), classmates who are doing one now, or dropped out of one.

I'd actually say you are looking at it the wrong way. Econ grad school is first a boot camp of Math/Microeconomics/Macroeconomics/Econometrics. My MA had this for one semester, in a PhD it's a year. This is not fun, and was where I decided I didn't want to go onto the PhD. I could handle the cycle of 10-12 hour workdays and then getting wasted on Fridays, but I didn't have any singular topic that I loved enough to commit myself to 2 more years of this plus research, and then the grind for tenure over.

The number one filter here is math. In undergraduate you'd need multivariable calculus, linear algebra, several courses of statistics (some of these should be part of any bachelors in econ). Econ grad school actually prefers math/engineering majors to generalist econ.

After the death grind, you move on to field-related coursework, which is more related to your specific area of study. This corresponds more towards reading papers and writing your own, delving into the datasets and doing your own causal research. This is more fun. After this comes writing your thesis proper - summer semester for me, or the later years of a PhD.

If you want to see what modern economics research looks like, check out the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) and see the papers that go up. You can also try the Journal of Economic Perspectives (JEP) for more general-public readable introductions to research.

Noah Smith is a guy who got an economics PhD to be better at arguing online and has some pages:

Also check out /r/badeconomics and /r/askeconomics:

[swearphil]

What topics did you do term papers on in school that you enjoyed researching?

thank you for sending this, friend!

during grad school, I wrote a paper about Ruth Hall by Fanny Fern for a 19th century American literature class a few years ago. I had fun with this paper because the author was also a newspaper columnist and I searched online through digital archives for her columns and for reviews on the novel she wrote. it was the first time I had ever done anything like that, and I just enjoyed seeing what she had to say and how people reacted to her book when it was first published in 1854.

the actually writing of that paper was An Experience. I did research and read scholarly articles for about a month, and then wrote all of it in the span of about five days I think? I wrote five pages a day to meet the 20 page requirement and turn it in on time. there was actually more I wanted to write about but once I hit 20 pages, I just wrapped it up. my professor ended up emailing me the following semester to ask if he could submit my paper for a department essay contest and I was one of the runner ups!

[vera-dauriac]

I see some of my college and grad student mutuals stressing about school lately, and I keep thinking back to the Anon I got from someone worried about doing poorly on a test, so I’m going to be an Insufferable Adult™ for a few minutes and offer a few pieces of practical advice about how I got through college and grad school and manage stress in general to this day.

Anxiety and stress

For me, it has always been about finding my anti-anxiety music. Listening to music allows me to lower anxiety while working, because taking time away from work in order to do something that’s supposed to reduce my anxiety would only make me more anxious about the fact I’m not doing work. In grad school, it was Mozart violin concertos. Today it’s Goldberg Variations and Corelli Concertos. Whatever works for you, but here’s Spotify links to what works for me.

Mozart

Bach

Corelli

Getting work done

Most of the time in school, I didn’t have to come up with a schedule or anything to make due dates. I was just able to get stuff done and still have a social life and do fun stuff. (I do remember asking for an extension once, because sometimes that just happens.) But one semester in grad school, life got in the way, and suddenly I had three long papers due in two weeks and hadn’t started reading any of my sources or planning the papers. And that’s when I learned that sometimes you just have accept that schoolwork is going to be your life for a while. (Yes, if you had to live that way all the time, it would be awful, but for a couple of weeks, you just have to do it.)

So, I figured out how much I had to read from my sources every day and how much I had to have drafted by when, and I wrote out a schedule on a dry erase board on my fridge where I had to see it all the time. For example, on Monday I had to read the first three articles for Paper 1, the two long articles for Paper 2, and chapters 1-4 for Paper 3. Until that was done, no TV, no leisure reading, no bar with my friends, no going to bed. (Thank goodness this was the era when the Internet was merely a research tool I had to go to the university library to use, but for all of you, this means no tumblr, etc.)

In the final week, I pulled three all nighters, and after I turned in my last paper, I went back to my apartment and cried myself to sleep. This is not a schedule I would recommend, but if there’s no other option, it can be done, but only if you keep yourself to a schedule. (For me, it helped to remember that the insane scheduling was temporary--I wasn't going to have to live like that forever.) This was also the time when I started thinking of the structure of my papers differently. Rather than planning my arguments and outlining them and then finding citations to support them, when I was doing my initial reading, I marked the things I found citation worthy, and I structured my papers around how to get from one citation to the next. It really sped up the process.

And that’s just a little advice for when things get tough at school. Feel free to ignore the annoying old lady, though.

[mattspeak]

Langblr Reactivation Challenge

Week 1, Day 2

Day 2: Write a list of goals you have for your target languages. Make both long term and short term goals. An overall goal could be to have the ability to talk with native speakers with ease and a smaller goal would be to finally learn that difficult grammar point that’s been plaguing you for ages. How will you achieve them?

I went ahead & dedicated space on the first page of my notebook for goals.

Long-term, I want to:

-Speak with native speakers

-Read research papers (regarding Central Asian politics & economics as well as linguistics)

-Read Uzbek news

Short-term, I don’t have much since I’m brand new. That being said, I want to:

-Introduce myself

-Learn sentence order

-Learn 30 common words

Overall, my goals with Uzbek lie in academics. I became interested in the language during a Central Asian history course I took last semester as part of my Asian Studies certificate program. I wrote a research paper surveying economic development in Uzbekistan during & after the Soviet period, which exposed me to the language and opened me up to learning more about Uzbekistan. Basically, I’m mostly interested in learning Uzbek so I can have access to more research & writing surrounding Central Asia (& Uzbekistan, of course).

Link to the original challenge post

[wyatt-coke-senior-capstone]

Tumblr Update #1

Welcome to my first Tumblr Update! This marks the start of what I'm sure will be a long journey. Let's begin!

Since the start of the semester, I’ve been brainstorming which topics to assign to each of my 6 videos. For each topic I nail down, I’ve also begun working out a rough outline for the script. I like to do this in the form of a "thought map" type of thing…I don’t really know what it’s called. But you can see an example of what I’m talking about below! To fulfill my deliverable requirement for this update post, I’ve included a screenshot of the outline I made for my video about how the Honolulu Skyline will affect Hawaii’s economy. I like to make a bunch of bullet point lists, then use arrows and the like to visualize how different ideas will connect together.

Over the next 2 weeks, I’ll begin script writing! I’m really looking forward to script writing because I won’t have to do so much research this time around. I already did all my research last semester, so I can focus more on the actual writing aspect of my scripts. Plus, script writing is extra fun because I don’t have to restrict myself to that dry, academic “formal tone” that I wrote my research paper with. I can just write how I talk. That’s exactly what I’m doing right now, by the way. Wowzers!

(I don’t actually say “wowzers” as part of my regular speech. Please don’t think I do.)

Anyway, in terms of hiccups and hurdles, I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to fit interviews into my videos. Interviews were not part of my original vision for my project, but instead were recommended to me during my proposal review. Maybe I’ll designate one of my videos as the “interview episode,” where I chat with some people from HART or something? Or maybe I’ll get some opinions from students on campus, man-on-the-street style? I don't know, I’m still brainstorming that, but I’ll be sure to update my blog once I have it figured out.

So to wrap this up, I am currently in the writing phase of my timeline, wherein I come up with topic ideas for my videos and begin drafting scripts. After this, I’ll enter the storyboard phase, which involves planning out how each video will play out in conjunction with my scripts. Until then, that’s all from me! I’ll see you in my next update.

[nanasheep]

So I'm a graduate student studying paleontology. This past semester, I had to write a term paper on a controversy in the field (I chose Cambrian bryozoans) and then have ChatGPT try and recreate my paper with references. What I found was that ChatGPT could only provide surface level information and had no idea why Cambrian bryozoans are controversial (if you're wondering, it's because bryozoans are thought to have first appeared in the fossil record after the Cambrian, so any Cambrian age "bryozoan" fossils are heavily scrutinized). ChatGPT could explain what a bryozoan was and what rock formations give us a lot of information about that time period, but nothing in depth. It wrote with a tone more appropriate for a pop science article, but too conversational for an academic paper. A lot of the text was also repetitive when asked to describe different aspects of the issue. Most worryingly, the reference list looks convincing but contains inaccurate citations along with correct ones. For example, it correctly cited a source I used when writing my paper, but got the authors and year wrong on another. Some citations were completely made up. From a glance, it looks ok, but if a professor tried to google those sources, it would be obvious.

I'd suggest not using AI for papers, or limiting use only to rewording sentences. My advisor doesn't mind if I use ChatGPT as long as I've done all the research myself and use it just to fill out more basic parts of the paper. I still avoid it though.

An important message to college students: Why you shouldn't use ChatGPT or other "AI" to write papers.

Here's the thing: Unlike plagiarism, where I can always find the exact source a student used, it's difficult to impossible to prove that a student used ChatGPT to write their paper. Which means I have to grade it as though the student wrote it.

So if your professor can't prove it, why shouldn't you use it?

Well, first off, it doesn't write good papers. Grading them as if the student did write it themself, so far I've given GPT-enhanced papers two Ds and an F.

If you're unlucky enough to get a professor like me, they've designed their assignments to be hard to plagiarize, which means they'll also be hard to get "AI" to write well. To get a good paper out of ChatGPT for my class, you'd have to write a prompt that's so long, with so many specifics, that you might as well just write the paper yourself.

ChatGPT absolutely loves to make broad, vague statements about, for example, what topics a book covers. Sadly for my students, I ask for specific examples from the book, and it's not so good at that. Nor is it good at explaining exactly why that example is connected to a concept from class. To get a good paper out of it, you'd have to have already identified the concepts you want to discuss and the relevant examples, and quite honestly if you can do that it'll be easier to write your own paper than to coax ChatGPT to write a decent paper.

The second reason you shouldn't do it?

IT WILL PUT YOUR PROFESSOR IN A REALLY FUCKING BAD MOOD. WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD I AM NOT GOING TO BE GENEROUS WITH MY GRADING.

I can't prove it's written by ChatGPT, but I can tell. It does not write like a college freshman. It writes like a professional copywriter churning out articles for a content farm. And much like a large language model, the more papers written by it I see, the better I get at identifying it, because it turns out there are certain phrases it really, really likes using.

Once I think you're using ChatGPT I will be extremely annoyed while I grade your paper. I will grade it as if you wrote it, but I will not grade it generously. I will not give you the benefit of the doubt if I'm not sure whether you understood a concept or not. I will not squint and try to understand how you thought two things are connected that I do not think are connected.

Moreover, I will continue to not feel generous when calculating your final grade for the class. Usually, if someone has been coming to class regularly all semester, turned things in on time, etc, then I might be willing to give them a tiny bit of help - round a 79.3% up to a B-, say. If you get a 79.3%, you will get your C+ and you'd better be thankful for it, because if you try to complain or claim you weren't using AI, I'll be letting the college's academic disciplinary committee decide what grade you should get.

Eventually my school will probably write actual guidelines for me to follow when I suspect use of AI, but for now, it's the wild west and it is in your best interest to avoid a showdown with me.

[irarelypostanything]

The Importance Of Play

I find the new Tumblr to be pretty similar to the old Tumblr. I find it weird that I miss it. Medium featured a story by someone who complained that everything had become a kind of SEO game. Instead of just making content and sharing stories, every popular blog post seemed like a simple collection of trending phrases and buzzwords.

If I wrote something like this on Medium, then 99 times out of 100 no one would read it. In the rare event that the algorithm blessed it in its infinite wisdom, I would probably be bombarded by a slew of angry comments about my lack of research and citations. On Tumblr that generally doesn't happen. I can kind of just say things, and for the source I can just say "trust me."

*

Why are asterisks so big now?

*

There's a really popular TED talk called The Super Mario Effect. When I first watched it, I didn't really like it. The speaker argued that playing Super Mario is fun, whereas it would be a chore to receive instructions to press one button for a few seconds, then another button for a few seconds. I remember thinking, yeah. That makes sense and you have wasted my time.

That's not really the main point the video was making, though. The speaker ran an experiment in which he gave participants a faux coding challenge, but penalized one group and awarded the other group (as in a counter that went up vs. one that went down). The group that was rewarded attempted the challenge more times.

Again, not extremely surprising or profound. His point was that our education system thrives on penalizing failure instead of making things exciting. I heard a similar sentiment in Sal Khan's TED talk. We "time-box" education, meaning we generally divide people by age and then determine how much they learn in x time (ie a semester). Why not optimize for mastery instead? Have them repeat lessons until they get it.

If I remember correctly, Sal Khan also received three MIT degrees in four years. Traditional education apparently worked for him, too.

The argument that we should make school more fun has basically been argued since the beginning. In seventh grade, they tried it. Instead of a textbook they gave us a coloring book, and one of the required activities was to get little crumpled pieces of paper and throw them at each other from distances, to demonstrate the tactical superiority of the longbow over the crossbow. Even then, I remember people complaining: This is seventh grade, and you're assessing our understanding of history by how neatly we color a book?

I hate to pull out the dictionary, but if you look up the definition of play:

engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

"the children were playing outside"

That kind of says everything, really. Play can be important, but it's not really "play" of you're forcing people to do it. It's a bit like how kindergarten teachers don't typically fail students who refuse to go on the playground at lunch.

Fast-forward to college biology. We had a teacher who was very anti-tradition, but at the end of the day we still had pretty conventional tests. Her argument was that she wanted her class to be different, sure, but if she didn't make certain things mandatory then no one would do them. That's the thing I imagine educators constantly grapple with. Is the traditional grading system great? Not exactly. Should we do away with tests and grades? Well if we did that, people may not really be incentivized to study or learn anything.

On r/investing or something, I looked up the question of why teachers never bothered to teach us useful things like index funds, and 401Ks, and budget balancing. One parent lamented that he tried that, and the students just didn't care. A commenter said he wants to BELIEVE that students would have been really fascinated, but the harsh reality is that middle school him would not have cared one bit if someone tried to explain the stock market to him.

My boss gave each of his daughters $1000 and allowed them to invest in anything, so long as they wrote him a report about WHY they invested the way they did.

Sounds badass. Let's just have schools give each middle schooler $1000 for stock investing and let them keep the profits.

*

"Mandatory fun." That's where things kind of break down. It also defies the definition of play. It's become its own meme, these videos of bosses who force people to dance at the office, only if they refuse they get fired.

Someone on Reddit asked why we no longer "play" as adults. He, or she, was met with an overwhelming number of sarcastic answers that all basically said, "have you heard of sports?" Well...sure. It might be kind of splitting hairs, but I'm not sure if sports are really what we mean when we describe play.

I like Chess. I'm not sure if I do it because it appeals to the mammalian need for "play." Chess tends to be result-oriented. You don't play it for the fun so much as for the fulfillment of being tested and finding your limits. Chess is competitive play, a tiny bit like basketball or soccer. When I think of "play," something like music sounds closer. If you ballroom dance as an adult, your instructor shows you certain moves and then you do them with a partner. You get to improvise a bit. It's not like if you fail to do the turn at step five, the dance instructor asks you to kindly get the hell off of his floor.

This is more like jazz. In jazz, you have to follow a certain key, but you're free to improvise. If you're in an orchestra, that's just not how it generally works.

*

Okay, the million dollar question:

"Okay, Evan, what in the name of God is your point?"

Well, if you can incorporate play into your life, maybe that's it. Maybe the world is yours. You get to 1000x your productivity, your stock portfolio explodes, and your LinkedIn posts about the importance of helping our shareholders go viral.

I just kind of feel like the outlets for it decrease over time. Social media, for example, is where I spend most of my time and I don't think I am alone in this. Where is the "play" in social media? When Facebook first came out, they would roll out features, then we would be subtly nudged into trying them out and being creative. Now it's like they put a gun to your head, kidnap your dog, and tell you that if you ever want to see your little shih tzu again you'd better download the app and try the new emojis. It doesn't feel like "play" so much as a hostage situation.

Reddit, you have to download the app. Medium, you get 5000 comments telling you to go kill yourself. Heaven help you if you make significant money from social media, because then you start to get PAID to drive up engagement using phrases and keywords that annoy people. Sure, you'll get 1000 angry comments now, but maybe that's the difference between whether or not you get food on your table.

Well...okay. I can imagine the eye-rolls. Ramen on your table or steak.

*

Video games are a form of play. They get their stigma, but at the end of the day they're still pretty widespread now among adults. Then you have arcades. Casinos. Sports betting. God gave us Robinhood, praise Him, empowering us with zero commissions to optimally drive our portfolios to zero.

In college we had creative writing. That was just it. It was this fun elective that people, typically STEM majors, took and you wrote a story and if it was good then good and if it sucked you would still get an A. Advanced creative writing was a little bit different.

There was this divide, I noticed, between the UWP and the ENL people. In the world of UWP writing was this straightforward, utilitarian thing. To pass the UWP exam you wrote a straightforward thing that was factually correct, and you didn't obtain superpowers if you wrote something really eloquent. ENL was very different. To get an A in an ENL class, you had to write something very original and interesting. UWP was kind of like technical writing, and ENL was more like creative writing.

I'm actually not sure what you did with ENL. It was a bit like something tailored to academic literature people, but most of the people I met in that department wanted to be teachers.

*

Oh hey, small asterisks.

Play is critically important, so important to mammals that a child who doesn't get exposed to play with have development issues. Now we're older, and there's still "play," but it seems to be confined to these societally expected things. TikTok. Gambling. Making up words like "societally," which according to Tumblr is not a real word.

Maybe some random guy on reddit said it best. Someone said, I don't get to "play" anymore as an adult. It's not okay for me to do things like skate.

Then someone said, what are you talking about? My adult friends and I still skate. Maybe get new friends?

*

The last point

Big asterisk

The last point that usually comes up is how to make coding fun.

Well, of course it's not fun for a lot of people. It seems so obvious now. Kids are going to rebel against coding if their parents are coders and force them at gunpoint to solve coding assignments. My high school teacher did it pretty well, I think. He had us program "bugs" and have them fight each other. One person broke the game, but we had someone who was kind of overpowered.

Maybe go to a school, and hire a cybersecurity expert to teach your middle schoolers how to hack into the main network and change their grades. You're not appealing to "fun" and "play" anymore, but to sheer destructive will and unstoppable power.

*

Coding games generally suck. The best ones seem to be aimed at adults who already code. The ones for kids just aren't fun.

Minecraft is, but the problem with Minecraft is that it's too fun. One second you're figuring out how to build a fence and the next you're in the hospital because you forgot how to eat.

[salty-accords]

Alice's Procreation (Micro Essay)

{I originally wrote this piece for a Creative Writing course during my spring semester, in April 2024. It’s discussing a short fiction offshoot I wrote based on my WIP novel. For that course, and the creative project, I did an abundance of research on mythology, pregnancy, and trauma. This is a revision of the fourth essay I wrote for that class discussing my research, thoughts, and prospective implementation.

You can purchase a PDF copy of this for personal use in my Ko-Fi shop and Patreon, both of which have proper formatting.}

Date: May 20th, 2024. Original draft: April 2024.

TW: discussions of sexual abuse, reproductive abuse, pregnancy, ovulation, and trauma.

For this piece, I’ve done a lot of research about pregnancy.

Alice, my main character, suffers through an unwanted pregnancy—in Hell of all places—and all of the ails that can come with that. But I’ve never been pregnant, and this isn’t about to become another case of “[Professor]’s Student Does Something Wild™ For Class.” So how does one write a character who has a difficult pregnancy without having a difficult pregnancy?

Hopefully, the answer to this is “research” and lots of it, because that’s what I’ve been doing before bed for the last two months!

So, allow me to take you on a metaphorical journey of procreation and explain the sexual health concerns I’ve rudely imparted upon Alice. This essay is sponsored (not really) by Aphrodite and Demeter, Goddesses of Motherhood and Fertility.

Where do babies come from?

If you’re a parent or have children in your life, you might have heard this dreaded question once or twice. Might have answered it or said something along the lines of “Go ask your mom,” or the like. Don’t worry, this isn’t about to become a high school level health class paper; we’re all adults here, we know where babies “come from.” But how exactly does that work? That is, if someone is looking to have a baby, what might they do or look out for?

Well, the first step, for many, is figuring out when to attempt conception. Yes, the timing of the tango is very important for successful reproduction! According to the Office on Women’s Health in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, a woman is most fertile two or three days before ovulation, and within twenty-four hours after ovulation. So, ovulation is very important if the end goal is offspring. (“Trying to conceive”)

What is ovulation, though? How does that work? Simply put, ovulation is when the ovaries release one or more ovum, or eggs—the little cells that sperm seek out for conception. Much like how menstruation is when the “most stuff” is happening with the uterus (the shedding, the cramps, the swelling, etc.), ovulation is kind of when “the most” is happening with the ovaries. (“Trying to conceive”) (Whelan; Rainford)

To trigger ovulation, the pituitary gland (yes, that one) releases lutropin, or Luteinizing Hormone (LH), which is primarily involved in the central nervous system and the reproductive organs. It does a lot of important things, like aid in the beginning of puberty and sexual maturation, and maintain sexual function and drive. It works in conjunction with follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) to control the menstrual cycle, including ovulation. (Whelan; Rainford) (Madormo; Weiss) Lutropin is basically the hall monitor of your reproductive system, trying to wrangle the other hormones. During ovulation, a surge in LH causes the ovary to swell and rupture, releasing the egg(s) into the fallopian tube to be fertilized. FSH also surges; that’s what stimulates the growth of the egg(s) in the first place.

Ovulation usually only involves one egg, however, hyperovulation, the phenomenon of both ovaries producing a mature egg during ovulation, is well-documented, and fairly normal—this is how fraternal (non-identical) twins are conceived. This is commonly known as “twining” or a “multiple” or “multiples” pregnancy. More than two eggs are rarely produced during a natural cycle (i.e., without the involvement of fertility treatment). (Madormo; Weiss) (Mirabito; Rainford) (Kassel; Prophete)

In some cases, because of the swelling and burst of the egg being released, women can feel when ovulation begins. This might be denoted by a sharp, stabbing pain, a dull ache, or something similar to mild cramping, like during menstruation. This “ovulation pain” is called Mittelschmerz Pain and is usually located on one side of the abdomen—the side of the “participating” ovary, as you may have guessed. According to an article by the University of Florida Health, Mittelschmerz lasts between several minutes to up to 48 hours, but it is rarely associated with disorders or complications. (Cornforth; Sadaty) (Jacobson; Zieve)

Other signs of ovulation may be an increase in basal, or resting, body temperature, occasional, minor spotting, tender breasts, and bloating—all symptoms that mimic menstruation. However, unique to ovulation, cervical mucus, or vaginal discharge in laymen’s terms, changes in quality and often quantity during ovulation, becoming thinner and more “slippery” compared to other points in one’s cycle. There might also be an increase in volume (i.e., more discharge), and there’s a decrease in acidity. This change helps the process of fertilization by allowing sperm cells to more easily pass through the cervix and uterus. (Madormo; Weiss).

All of this points to a fact that is very useful for those with uteri: we can track ovulation and estimate when our next period ought to be (about fourteen to sixteen days post-ovulation and pre-ovulation). It’s a bit different for everybody, especially those of us who have other health concerns impacting their fertility and cycle, such as insomnia. Insomnia has been linked to PMS, both being caused by hormonal changes during the premenstrual process and as a result of premenstrual syndrome. Mood swings, cramps, irritability, and fatigue can also cause disturbed sleep and insomnia, which can lead to more pain, irritability, fatigue, and even anxiety—which is often comorbid with insomniac disorders!

According to a study by Luc Staner, MD, on the relationship between anxiety disorders and sleep, over 30% of individuals with an anxiety disorder also have insomnia. (“Sleep and anxiety disorders”) (Frothingham; Goga) A study done on the relationship between menstrual regularity and sleep found that women who had less than six hours of sleep per night were 44% more likely to have irregular periods than those who get a healthy seven to nine hours. (Kennedy; Nowakowski; et al.)

In terms of Alice, this all paints a lovely picture of how to make her life more difficult—as that is the “point” of her story: this girl goes through some terrible things through no fault of her own. However, this is a horror story about the trauma of reproductive abuse, so I have to make all of this more difficult than just run-of-the-mill cramps, insomnia, and bloating, though those are all there. I’ve done this by upping the ante of how horrible the witch nurse is. Her name’s Ursula and she’s kind of obsessed with Alice’s uterus.

Much like how you can examine the cervix with a finger to detect Chadwick's sign—darkish blue/purple discoloration in the genitals and cervix resulting from pregnancy—you can use a finger to feel for changes associated with ovulation. During ovulation, the cervix will be positioned slightly higher than usual and softer to the touch. Some describe it as “spongy,” though that word makes me feel ill reading it in conjunction with “feeling the cervix.” This is a difficult examination to perform on one’s own body, especially because the cervix is higher than it usually is outside of ovulation and sexual activity (it also rises as a result of arousal), but it’s fairly easy for a practiced Other to perform such examinations. As such, Ursula, the witch nurse, will be all kinds of up close and personal with Alice’s anatomy—much to Alice’s dismay.

Works Cited

“Cervix.” Cleveland Clinic, medically reviewed by a Cleveland Clinic professional, 15 June 2022, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/23279-cervix. Accessed 27 March 2024.

“Trying to conceive.” OASH, Office on Women’s Health in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, www.womenshealth.gov/pregnancy-you-get-pregnant/trying-conceive. Accessed 24 March 2024.

Bruise, Chaunie (RN). “The Ultimate Guide to the Menstrual Cycle and Sleep.” SLEEPOPLiS, 07 August 2023, sleepopolis.com/education/the-ultimate-guide-to-the-menstrual-cycle-and-sleep/. Accessed 28 March 2024.

Christiansen, Sherry. “Chadwick's Sign in Pregnancy.” verywellhealth, medically reviewed by Monique Rainford, MD, Dotdash Media, Inc., 03 October 2023, www.verywellhealth.com/chadwick-sign-diagnosis-indications-other-causes-5191239. Accessed 26 February 2024.

Cornforth, Tracee. “Body Changes During the Menstrual Cycle.” verywellhealth, medically reviewed by  Monique Rainford, MD, Dotdash Media, Inc., 21 October 2023, www.verywellhealth.com/the-menstrual-cycle-3520919. Accessed 23 March 2024.

Cornforth, Tracee. “Mittelschmerz Pain Between Periods.” verywellhealth, medically reviewed by Anita Sadaty, MD, Dotdash Media, Inc., 23 March 2022, www.verywellhealth.com/mittelschmerz-the-pain-between-periods-3520917. Accessed 23 March 2024.

Frothingham, Scott. “What Is the Link between Anxiety and Insomnia?” healthline, medically reviewed by Joshana K. Goga, PharmD MBA BCPP, Healthline Media LLC, 09 February 2024, www.healthline.com/health/anxiety-insomnia. Accessed 29 March 2024.

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