#but I would swear in my head and on Tumblr
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eh fuck it, new Modern Stanley McGucket AU lore bc I'm in a good mood for once this week
Angie and Lute don't swear out loud...but they do both swear online. not in public spaces where they are identified (i.e. Facebook and Instagram), but in DMs or places where they have a handle that is not their name.
Angie swears a lot in the comments she leaves on her favorite AO3 fics (80% of which were written by Ford, unbeknownst to her) and on her Tumblr that no one in the family knows her handle for. Lute will swear when DMing someone or tweeting from his Twitter that has no identifiable information attached to it.
Stan doesn't know about these things, and is thus shocked when Ford eventually talks to Angie about his fics and mentions one comment she left where she swore like a sailor.
#Stan: WAIT YOU KNOW SWEARS???#Angie: well duh. we're on the Internet and also you swear up a storm just stubbin' yer toe#Fidds tho? he still don't swear unless it's in a song#(I am using the same philosophy I had for much of undergrad lmao#I didn't swear out loud nor on Facebook#but I would swear in my head and on Tumblr#now I do swear out loud but not in front of family as much as I can avoid and still not on Facebook aljknsdjnkfasdf#also I try to avoid four-letter words in front of coworkers bc I am a Professional)#Modern Stanley McGucket AU#speecher speaks
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Fanart/redesign of Gem from her hermitcraft 10 base. Honestly my favorite season for her so far, the base looks great and I ADORE the new castle she just added.
#I would let her cut off my head any day#gemnislay#artists on tumblr#hermitcraft#geminitay#geminitay fanart#hc fanart#hc s10#hermitcraft fanart#Im straight I swear *wink*
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im just imagining nandermo in a very enclosed space like for some reason they gotta be chest to chest pushed up against a wall and its awkward for a moment but then nandors eyes are just boring into guillermos and guillermo has that uncertain but unwavering stare too, and is this what is gonna take for them to kiss?
#at this point im just running all scenarios in my mind and spilling all my thoughts about them into the ether#i swear i am not fine#they kiss nandor blurts out i love you please dont ever leave me please dont die#and they share their feelings while kissing and bang against that very wall while telling the other how much they mean to them#nandor expecially is a flood of YOURE SO AMAZING GUILLERMO I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE#im going INSANE over them hahahaha#guillermo is too stunned and enjoying the physical sensation to be so close to nandor and to see nandor be so vulnerable#nandermo#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#atp im just saying whatever insane shit is passing through my head at any given moment. but thats what tumblr is for basically you will#forgive me about it. i just am a very physical person and i think a physical moment is always very good to unfuck a totally fucked dynamic#like talking of course would be preferrable but these two have so much shit under the bridge#that theyre sort of stuck in this ‘the love is requited they are just idiots’ cycle#annnnyway#bye#some messy liveblog tag#comment#*
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Remembering that Neil Gaiman is actually a part of this hellsite (affectionatly) is like waking up in a parallel universe where everyone shares their porn account with their dad.
It feels highly inappropriate, weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved, but also hilarious in a twisted way.
“Oh god, work was so exhausting today, but I wanted to let you know that I saw the gay video you added to our favorite-list and despite all odds I thought it was quite enjoyable.
…We do have to talk about that furry porn of yours though”
#cursed content#dark humor#neil gaiman#this might be the worst thing I’ve ever said on the internet#but i’m feeling silly today#good omens#the sandman#please don’t unfollow me I swear I’m normal#it’s 2 am and freedom of speech has gone to my head#tumblr meta#just tumblr things#humor#comedy#im in therapy i promise#if Mr. Gaiman sees this post: I’m sorry#you know a post is great when you already apologize for clicking ‘send’ in advance#hellsite (affectionate)#I feel like this plot would make for a great modern Kafka novel btw#okay i’ll stop
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logging in for the first time in a minute to just let you all know that i'm over here listening (crying) to billie eilish's 'birds of a feather' and on my like 345th listen i was IMMEDIATELY struck with andy/eddie feelings when hearing"i knew you in another life, you had that same look in your eyes"
BECAUSE WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF A REINCARNATION FIC OF ANDY AND EDDIE BEFORE. LIKE HELLO, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN. THEY ARE THE PERFECT CANDIDATES.
like i know someone has written a reincarnation/soulmate au for those two bc why the hell wouldn't someone
WAIT this song is just them bc what do you mean that billie didn't write "it might not be long but baby i'll love you TIL THE DAY THAT I DIE !!!! TIL THE LIGHT LEAVES MY EYES!!!!!!' SPEFICIALLY for andy and eddie??? bc i think she did.
holy crapface am i in my andyeddie feelings rn i'm NOT OKAY???
#anyway i literally was just listening and they popped up in my head and i quite literally curled up in ball#and silently screamed into my onigiri pillow#like YA'LL#anyway#i take my leave#hi#again#i just redownloaded ps so maybe i'll dabble again#i'm so bad at tumblr now lmao#i came here bc no one on twitter would undernstand my andyeddie feelings#uncultured swine i swear#okay bye i'm just spamming now#the pacific#the pacific thoughts#*hope talks about hbo war#andyeddie
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.
#'well you cant win em all.' okay but i would like to win at least one!! (not my quote i swear ive seen it on tumblr just cant find it)#like i would kill for just one win. i would pay a crisp $10 to anyone that could provide a single win for me#today was yet another fucking loss and that was all i had lined up. like theres nothing set up to possibly be a win in the future#ive got nothing there. so weve ended on a loss and thats all i have for the foreseeable future#i counted all the wins and losses in recent memory. ive got like 13+ losses and about 1 win#i tried to count up all of my wins but truly i managed like. one.#even some things that i didnt know could become losses! like did you know you can just be refused an adhd reassessment?#like you can say 'id like to pay $160 for you to fuck up a diagnosis again' and they can actually say#'youre not even worth the trouble to misdiagnose so go fuck yourself'#but they can! i didnt know that#and then you can have the audacity to tey to hope for something and think youll get it. like hope a little too hard#truly shouldve lesrned my lesson after twelve losses in a row not to get my hopes up#but i did! i made plans! i was gonna buy a cute water bottle specifically for that job. snd take myself out to dinner if i got it#can you guess what happened? when i had the audacity to hope and plan for a job that i was so passionate about and wanted so much?#(i didnt get it. the job ive been posting about. didnt get it)#didnt get the apartment in the city i love and miss either. didnt get an adhd reassessment (which is still wild to me)#and i tried to frame them as better in my head. 'this is a chance to tey a different job youd be better at! this is a chance to save money!'#nope its just another shitty thing in a long line of shitty things and im just getting tired of it. im so fucking tired of it#i am back where i vowed id never come back to and i cant escape in any way shape or fucking form#just needed to vent because saying all this in my head wasnt helping. saying it here doesnt help either but whatever
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born to write stories, forced to... write.
#and also work#but i cant work when ive got movie trailers worth of scenes in my head at all times#dude i swear in a few years when this show premieres#you're all gonna love it#i haven't talked about the show im writing but if i did yall would be so hyped#gosh i hate writing but i love it too#ryan wrytes!!#writers on tumblr#writeblr
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If this is not too personal, how does your family/siblings etc. react to you being a lesbian? Because I was just having fun with my siblings and my brother joked about beating up my boyfriend if I have one and when I slightly hinted that my ‘boyfriend’ could be a girlfriend he said he’d still beat her up and deadass said ‘don’t dirty this family’ as in ‘don’t fucking pull this family into dirt by being into women and giving us a horrible reputation for having a lesbian daughter/sister’… I’m straight up hurt and furious and feeling like weeping now cause even though I could have guessed my brother is homophobic I didn’t expect him to be like that. My brother believes that siblings should stick together but that apparently doesn’t count if I’m not into men. I’m from a Turkish family too and being homosexual in a Turkish family straight up means that you might as well not be a part of this family at all. Turkish people are rather conservative and still thinking in an old way which is frustrating. :( Especially because it’s Muslim households too, and yk Islam and homosexuality does not go well..
I’m very sorry if you don’t accept vents etc. I was just curious about if your family is or thinks like that too or if you had the same experience? Feel free to delete this if this might be triggering or if my question was too personal etc.
I'm very sorry that happened to you. I wish I had advice, but I don't. All I can say is that there are people out there who will love and support you. I hope you can find them.
My family is democratic but I did worry that I'd be met with homophobia (and I was) when I came out. My father was a deeply Christian man. He straight up claimed to get visions from God. He never directly said anything homophobic. The one thing I can remember is being in a shoe store when I was little and asking my father why pink shoes were in the men's section. He made a sort of disgusted face and said it was for men on the "wise side". Why did he use that phrase as a stand in for being gay? I don't know, but I do think it's kind of funny. Apparently gay men are wise!!
Anyway, as you can imagine, I was not particularly stoked to come out to him.
My mother was worse and better. She was not as religious as my father. She had gay friends. She loved Ellen Degeneres. I never heard her say anything homophobic growing up. However, she was worse because she's abusive 💀 When I was a child, I wondered why my father would be with her when she was so fucking mean and awful. I wanted nothing to do with her. I wouldn't leave my room if she was hanging about. Just generally a really awful mom. I had no strong feelings about coming out to her. I didn't think she was homophobic but I didn't wanna tell her things in general.
Like most gay kids, my parents knew before I told them. When I officially told my dad, he didn't care. Didn't say anything about it. He wasn't homophobic towards me or anything.
Honestly, I'm just now realizing how funny it is that my deeply religious father had no qualms about me being gay but my mom did 😭.
My mom wasn't like. Violently homophobic when I came out. Just casually so. She was all like "so you like to dress like a boy??" in a really unpleasant tone of voice. And she asked me to "keep an open mind" and constantly accuses me of actually being bisexual. She says that I "think" I'm gay. It's just very casual homophobia on her part. She clearly doesn't like the fact that I'm only interested in women even though she claims to love me and accept me no matter what. It's very clear that seeing me with a man would make her happy.
Idk. My coming out wasn't awful. My brother is bisexual. I don't have a relationship with anyone else in my family tbh. So, yea, that's my story. Also, I accept all types of asks. My inbox is always open.
#People in my discord server tell me that I'm intimidating on Tumblr 💀#I promise if you send me an ask that I won't bite your head off about it#I'm not mean#I swear#I think it's actually funny anyone would consider me intimidating#Am I really?#I'm just vibing 💀#For the most part
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Just remembered a couple years back RIGHT when Tumblr started it's descent into madness how every so often id find i randomly just unfollowed someone out of the blue and it'd be a whole thing and then got REALLY bad bc at one point it didn't unfollow, but OUTRIGHT BLOCKED a really good friend for like half the year and only when they went to check my blog and they were like "it says you blocked me :(" did i even know about it...... like i noticed the absence of posts but was like??? maybe they just went on hiatus bc they SEEMED like they were doing fine lmao
But like in retrospect I just now realised I think the random unfollows actually STOPPED after that??? Bc I don't recall it happening much if at all afterwards
idk if that had anything to do with it or if it even happened to anyone else (I would think so???? I've seen it mentioned literally nowhere but 👀👀👀) but I just remembered the blocking thing out of the blue and aside from not knowing how bad it was rlly gonna get genuinely what the fuck was all that about 😭
#gu6chan's musings#was it an omen warning me of how i went from 0 -> 100 with how liberally i block people now???? lmao#still that particular incident SUCKED bc not long after we had a really bad falling out (100% on me) and THEY THOUGHT THE BLOCKING WAS ON#PURPOSE AND I DON'T BLAME THEM 😭😭😭 how else can you take 'oh yeah sorry about that super rare glitch that blocked you half the year hiii'#like ..... BUT I SWEAR EVEN 2022 ME WOULD NEVER BE THAT TOXIC..... head in my hands......#that said i hope they're doing good now bc they didn't deserve the shit i gave them at ALLLLL i had a such a stick up my ass jfc#either way 😭 tumblr has been acting awful on my phone lately and i think a good part of it is age but also tumblr not optimizing its shit
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size training with sylus
<slyus x fem!reader>
where you’re size training on Sylus’s dick. ❤️
genre/warnings: smut, pwp, big dick!sylus, size training, size kink, dear god sylus and his fat cock, breeding kink, unprotected sex, pet names, dacryphilia, it’s just sylus brain rot ❤️
w/c: 2K
a/n: I’m on Love & Deepspace fic tumblr! 😮 hope I’ll be welcomed nicely here haha. As a peace offering, this is my present to everyone (and especially the Sylus girlies)!
You shift your body slightly, trying to make yourself comfortable, on top of taking slow breaths, your heart fluttering at Sylus's soft voice coaxing you.
"That's it. Take it slowly, kitten", his voice slow and deep in your ears. But you don't see the way he's shutting his eyes and biting his inner cheek every time you squeeze around him. He's trying to pace his breathing as well, but it feels so fucking good.
You whine softly against his bare chest, his heat radiating off you, his slender fingers stroking your hair slowly, and his other hand drawing soothing circles on your thighs.
You don’t remember how it started, but your thoughts start to drift, recalling the times your mind would float whenever Sylus had his lips on yours with you straddling on his thick thighs. He would devour you, painfully slowly because he knows that’s what riles you up, and he definitely enjoys listening to your whimpers, your non-verbal pleas for him to do more to you. He’d make sure your lips are wet and messy once he’s done with you, his touches teasing and light against your skin. Sylus secretly wants you to beg for it, because he knows that he’d give in to you in a heartbeat. His fingers would cup yours that were on his chest, and the look he would give you reset all the butterflies in your stomach. You would feel his thick erection, hidden under the thin silk black bathrobe he’d always wear against your clothed pussy, and dear god, he’s so fucking big. But before you could ask, Sylus would trail his fingers to tease your wet clit and pussy, soaking in your adorable reactions he swears is enough to get him off, erasing the question of wanting him to fuck you off your brain when the pleasure from his fingers tingles through your body.
Sylus doesn’t pride himself as a generous being, but he thinks he’s always generous enough for you. He realises he enjoys having his face in between your legs, making you squirm, listening to you sob when he overstimulates you with his tongue, making sure his tongue presses and grazes fully on your clit while he listens to you fall apart, his crimson eyes locked onto you while he holds you down to take whatever he’s giving you.
He’s good at distracting you like that whenever you want to bring up the question of fucking.
This time though? Through your wet lashes from the overstimulation and hazy thoughts, all you were craving for was just to be fucked stupid by Sylus. Your hand reached out and pushed against his head. Sylus pulled back slightly, confused for a moment.
“What is it, sweetie?” He paused, his hands trailing up and down your thighs.
Your mind slowly clears, but your pussy is still pulsing from him tongue fucking you.
“Need you to fuck me, Sylus. Please. I don’t think I can take it any longer.”
Sylus is momentarily taken aback by your demand, but he realises he can’t keep holding it off, mostly because there’s only so much longer he’s able to hold back, especially when you’re begging for him like that.
“I don’t think-“
“I can take it”, you muttered stubbornly, yanking your partner towards you. You shift yourself above him, straddling his thighs, just shy of his appendage.
As much as your determination is endearing, Sylus knows your comfort should come first. And he knows very well that his cock isn’t gonna fit into you in one go, so he decides to let you gauge it for yourself—putting your hands into the string of his robe, gesturing you to loosen it.
And you do, your gaze flickering from his cool expression to his silk robe sliding off his body when you untie the string.
You swallow hard when his cock comes into view—thick, long and heavy, the tip red with a wet sheen of precum. Yeah, that’s definitely not gonna fit in you in one go. You and him solely being just wet enough wasn’t going to cut it.
Nonetheless, you’re still determined. Your eyes meet his gaze and an idea pops into his head.
He intertwines his fingers with yours.
“Tell you what, sweetie. I’ll fit into you slowly. Doesn’t matter how much you can take, I just want to make sure you’re comfortable when you’re doing so.”
“But-“
He presses his lips on the back of your hand.
“I’ll be fine. You trust me, right?”
You nod, watching the way his eyes soften before you.
So there you are, lying on your side, facing Sylus, your cunt trying to adjust to his cock as he stretches you open. It’s been a couple of days since you’ve been size training with your partner. It started off with getting his cockhead in, and that was already making you hitch your breath. Then inch by inch he sinks into you from then. He’d let you cock warm him like that and it never failed to leave you so full one session after the next.
It’d been seven days, and you barely pushed through three-quarters of his girth. Initially, Sylus still could tease you while you tried to take his cock, but as he sunk deeper into you after each session, it started getting harder for him to maintain his composure—every twitch, every squeeze—had him digging his fingers into his palm, clenching against his silk pillow and breathing a little harder.
He huffs once more when he feels you clench around his cock.
“If you’re gonna keep clenching around me like that, Kitten, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.”
You glance up, watching the way Sylus’s platinum hair becoming a tousled mess against the pillow. His crimson eyes cast to meet yours, his lips pulled into a slight frown.
“I can’t help it”, you reply, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
You hear Sylus hiss slightly once more when he twitches inside you.
“Do you think you could fit another inch in?” It almost comes off as a beg.
You inhale shakily, shifting yourself further downwards, taking another inch of his cock. The both of you gasp at the sensation.
You freeze at the thickness. How far down are you already?
“You’re almost all the way in, Kitten”, Sylus whispers, almost as if he heard your thoughts. His breathing is growing heavier by the second, and he’s forcing himself to hold back from just thrusting the remainder of his cock in. It’s dangling over him like his favourite prey.
His thumb strokes against yours, trying to distract you from the pressure on top of pressing your forehead with kisses, singing you soft praises.
Your mind is gradually turning more hazy with Sylus’s cock taking up the majority of your thoughts, on top of his body soap that’s been creeping into your olfactory senses. The more Sylus inches his cock into you, the more he’s pressing onto your g-spot, and the more it’s starting to make you see stars whenever you blink. You’re growing so sensitive that you’re feeling every throb Sylus’s cock is giving you.
Your hand is on his arm, trying to ground yourself from the slight soreness. Another strained whimper when Sylus pushes him deeper into your pussy. Slick leaks from your pussy and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Sylus.
Another kiss to your temple, another circle drawing session on your thigh.
“Do you want me to go all the way in?”
Your toes curl.
“I can take it.”
So Sylus inches his cock right to the hilt, knocking the wind out of you.
Tears are prickling at the corner of your eyes, but oh god you do feel so good.
“How are you feeling, sweetie?”
You hiccup softly. “So full.”
He chuckles. “Such a good girl.” The vibrations of his light laughter only press his tip further onto your g-spot, and it’s making your thighs shake from the impending orgasm.
“D-don’t move so much, Sylus. You’re gonna make me—“ you try to bury your head into his chest but he stops you with his fingers in your chin.
“Make you what?”
He intentionally shifts, and his cockhead hits your sensitive spots again, sending fireworks into your eyelids, and a strained moan. Sylus seems to enjoy your reactions, because then he flips you to your back, his large frame looming over you, forcing you to look up at him with your legs folded, and still with his cock in you.
Oh no.
Sylus looks down at you with the faintest glint of softness in his eyes before it completely disappears, now just hunger seeping through the red.
“Sylus!-“ you gasp, his fullness penetrating into you again, this time easily, considering the wet and sopping mess you’ve made around his cock.
He only hums in reply, then pulling out slightly before he pushes into you again. He’s found your sweet spots, and he’s not letting it go that easily.
The knot in your stomach pulls tight, and it’s making you tear up in sheer pleasure. You’re barely able to meet Sylus’s eyes, not when he’s fucking into you and has your head thrown back while you’re fighting to keep your eyelids open.
It builds and builds. Sylus probably realises it from how much you’re just pulsing on his cock. His thumb rests at the corner of your lips and you let him slip in, your glazed out eyes meeting his. It makes his heart flutter when you’re completely undone like this for him, but he’ll never admit it, at least, not yet.
“Gonna cum. Fuck, it’s so much, Sylus-“ you whimper before your mind completely melts away.
“Release all you want on me, sweetie. That’s my good girl.”
That’s enough to send you over the edge—your orgasm hitting you like waves, tingling through your body like electricity, the pleasure eating you up over and over again. Sylus watches affectionately while you fall apart on his cock—the way you’re writhing and squirming, the way his name leaves your lips after every moan, the way your pussy creams so much on his cock. He thinks he’s doomed because he never gonna get enough.
“Looks like a little kitten made a mess”, Sylus teases. He watches the way cream pools at the base of his cock when he pulls out slightly, only to thrust back into you again. His eyes flutter shut at the tight warmth eating him up, groans replacing his words.
“Now, can I make a mess in you?”
Your watery eyes meet his, and he’s equally about to lose all composure. You cup his cheeks, taking him by surprise, before giving him a quick peck on the corner of his lips, and then you nod. Said corner of his lips lift in satisfaction at your approval.
He’s just ready to ruin you.
His strokes become more heavy, the overstimulation shutting your brain off. Nothing but pleasure is surging through your nerves now. You’re even holding up your legs so Sylus can fuck you deeper.
“Now be a good girl and take all of it”, he mutters huskily, burying his face against the crook of your neck, his eyes snapped shut and his eyebrows furrowed.
Despite the fact that you don’t get to see the way Sylus’s face contorts in pleasure when his orgasm hits him, his groans right in your ears serve you satisfied for now while thick white spurts into your abused pussy, filling you up all the way, some seeping past your plugged hole.
You don’t realise how much you’ve clawed down Sylus’s back while he was emptying himself into you.
Well, he doesn’t need to know anyway.
Sylus stays above you for a moment, the both of you catching your breaths. He still has the energy to plant more bites on your neck while you stroke his hair.
He pulls back to look at your face properly, and all you can think of is how fucking good he looks post-fuck—messy, sweaty, and so fucking delicious-looking. His fingers brush away your strands of hair, and his thumb caresses your bottom lip.
“You’re truly gonna be the death of me, sweetie.”
#love and deepspace#love and deep space sylus#qin che#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#sylus qin#sylusposting#l&ds sylus#sylus#sylus smut#sylus x reader#sylus x you#lnds sylus#love and deep space smut#lnds smut#l&ds smut
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I am still pissed off that i wrote something super cute about single mom reader and simon, and tumblr didn’t save it in my drafts
But more on the topic of nobleman simon riley with the young cute wife he got himself from the village to calm me down:
Simon never thought of himself as someone who would enjoy the little moments of life, when he looked at a sunset he would simply see that, a sunset, nothing more, but his wife, no no no she’s the polar opposite
When she picks fresh tomatoes from their garden and drops them into her skirt, she’s laughing out loud, her cheeks rosy pink from the summer heat and the pure joy that seems to run in her veins. She holds up the tomatoes to simon, yelling out his name to get his attention, and simon is just sitting on a chair reading a book trying to not think about all the dirt under his wife’s nails and how damp the garden walls smell during the humid summers, but his wife, oh no she’s running around grabbing tomatoes from the bushes, while she hums a melody quietly
“Mr riley!! Look at this one! It’s so red!”
“ ‘s jus’ a tomato, woman, please keep y’voice down”
And when her skirt is full of tomatoes she runs back to simon, dropping all of the red bulbs of freshness right onto his cleaned and steamed pants
“I got you all of these! Aren’t you happy??”
“ y’skirt is absolutely filthy, ‘s it so hard to jus’ act a bit more timid?”
She shakes her head, laughing at his comment, as she grabs one of the tomatoes from simon’s lap and rubs off the dirt on her dress, and takes a bite
“I think you should losen up a bit you know? Take that stick out of where the sun don’t shine”
She laughs at her own joke, simon on the other hand scrunches up his nose at the rude string of words that his so called wife just spat out at him
But you know
Even though he gets angry at his wife for rolling around in mud all day, for jumping up and down on the bed, for scaring the maid ten times a day, for chasing around the ducks and chickens, for swearing every time she drops something
He can’t help how his heart skips a beat when he hears her scream and laugh and shout and swear. And here’s the thing, simon is starting to like the chaos she seems to bring to everything
And before he knows it, he’s standing up from his chair in the garden, holding the girl’s soft hand, as he lets her walk him to the tomato bushes. And he actually kneels in the mud, cautiously grabbing a red tomato and lightly tugging on it, looking at his wife for reassurance,
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
And when she runs her fingers through his hair with those dirty hands, like she’s petting a lost puppy, simon absolutely loses it
And he laughs! Like an idiot who’s in love! He hates himself for it. But, you know, he can keep the anger for another time, right now he’ll just sit there and let his wife tug at his blonde hair while the warm sun shines down on his pale and freckled face. And he breaths, for what feels like the first time in years.
The maid runs out, holding her dress in her fists as she scolds simon
“Sir! Please for the love of god get up! I’ve just washed your clothes!”
“Y’know… i think ‘m good here, and i think… y’need to take tha’ stick out of where the sun don’ shine”
God he looks up at you with a proud look, like he’s done something so bad and he needs your approval for it, and when you nod your head with a smile he just melts.
Just saying, the poor maid does not like your behavior one bit, especially now that it’s rubbing off on simon.
#simon riley x you#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#cod mw2#call of duty#simon x reader#character x reader#cod x reader#ghost call of duty
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after one and a half attempts ive decided to stop wormposting forever cause im never funny or insightful 🤡 if youre looking for me ill be lurking
#i swear worm enjoyers i CAN say meaningful things about media. im one paper away from a literature degree.for fucks sake 😭😭😭😭#and ive also been led to believe i'm funny sometimes!!!#the ability just disappears when it's about worm i guess 🤷♀️#and anyway the kinds of essays i could write about worm arent the kind most tumblr users would be interested in#off the top of my head... something to do with naratology which is downright boring#who knows. maybe one day i'll try wormposting again#hobtalks
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TW: yandere, noncon/dubcon, angst, unwanted pregnancy, blackmail, ish-baby trapping
PART ONE only avaliable on AO3 due to Tumblr restrictions
fem reader
You went cold and forgot how to breathe.
When you got to the kindergarten, they told you his father had already come and collected him early. All looking at you as though you were crazy, assaulting the daycare workers with your hands in a bruising grip, shaking her by her shoulders—demanding she tell you where he took him.
She spilled the name of some family restaurant down the road and said he’d wanted you to join them there. The poor thing was on the verge of tears when you let go.
Rushing out, you all but ran down the streets before pushing yourself through the doors—cold-sweating and swivel-eyed—in a panic, scanning faces with his name coming out weak under your breath.
With your vision spinning, you felt faint before you heard it.
“Mommy! Mommy! You’re here! Look! I’m King of the castle!” he shouted, and your peeled eyes snapped to see him up high in a bright red plastic tower.
But before your shoes could hit the soft foam of the playground, you were intercepted by something larger.
“He’s fine,” he said under his breath, catching and stopping you in your beeline, holding you by the waist. “I need to talk to you.”
Something old and instinctive didn’t bother paying him heed—as if forgetting how to speak, you just ignored him in favor of pushing past him, eyes glued to the sight of your son blissfully unaware, playing with other kids with an oblivious smile on his face. But his grip was stronger than your instincts, firm enough to keep you still but not enough to hurt you, even when you tried twisting yourself free.
“Come on,” he urged.
You were about to sneer something, finally looking at his face—that face you hated—but the bark of curse words got held back.
“Look around you. Let’s not cause a scene.” The wild animal within went silent while your eyes flickered around at the surrounding picnic tables where families were having their dinner. “We can talk outside. My assistant will look after him.”
You didn’t feel much inclined to listen, but still, even though it made you hate to fold on his behest—reluctantly, you accepted the sense of what he was saying. Looking back at your son still laughing up in his tower with cinched brows. You didn’t want to scare him when he didn’t know what was going on, even though you felt the need to scream at the very top of your lungs.
You allowed him to lead you outside, but as soon as the fresh air welcomed your rigid state, you were at once whipping around and pushing him away. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” snarling at him. “How fucking dare you?!”
“Calm down. He might still see us,” he hushed, hands raised in halfhearted surrender, casting a nod to the glass walls separating you from the frivolity inside. “Let’s just talk rationally.”
“Rationally?!” you scoffed in a shout, eyes still manic. “You fucking kidnapped my son, you psycho-”
“You wouldn’t answer my texts or calls,” he snubbed. “He’s my son too-”
“Fuck you,” you interrupted to return the favor. “If you fuck with me on this, I swear I’ll ruin you.” You had a finger raised at him, breathing furiously—looking down-right mad—sweaty and disheveled from your run with your face twisted with such a state of frenzy. “I’ll tell everyone how I got him in the first place!”
Despite the threat, he didn’t seem all that fazed.
“Think about it…” he said calmly, much in contrast to you. “Who do you think people will believe? A teenage mom abusing her son for a paycheck or his estranged father wanting to provide for him?”
You blanched, and before anything else made it out—whether it be more rage or something else, he was already further silencing you.
“Not to mention… the trial would be gruesome, and Junior would have to grow up with it always hanging over his head—is that really what you want?”
You look at him, and you still can't believe it. How could it have turned out like this? You’d been perfect only a month ago before he’d shown up at your apartment.
You thought you’d sent him on his way for good that day, but only now did you realize he had no plans to leave you alone.
“Come, let’s talk in the car. It’s cold, and you’re not dressed,” he ushered, taking your arm again where you stood, stunned and still, trying to wrap your head around his threats. Letting yourself be led into the black vehicle standing perfectly parked in its neat white rectangle.
You both got in the back with enough room to battle your homey sofa nook at home.
“I don’t want this to get ugly,” he started anew—his voice still so irritatingly calm, unfairly so. “I just want to see my son-”
“He’s not yours,” you croaked, feeling the situation slip from your fingers—battling a drumming heart, shifty breaths, and the mean sting of tears welling up in your eyes.
“If you try and keep him from me, I’ll sue for full custody. And given I’m the only one out of us who isn’t a pro-bono case and the only one with any future that isn’t managing a register, I’d say I have a pretty fair shot at winning.”
You can’t keep from bursting out crying then, overwhelmed by the fear of losing the only thing that mattered and the pure disgust of the man who’d given it to you. It felt like everything was tearing—your whole life—crumbling before your eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he soothed, his hand coming to drape your hunched shoulders where you held your tears. “I don’t want to take him away from you…” His attempt did little to comfort you, but the next words had your heart grasping for what little hope they offered. “And I’m not going to either.”
You looked at him through the hurt of swollen eyes, tears still falling while he wiped them away with the course pad of his thumb—rubbing your cheek affectionately. In any other circumstance, you’d surely slap him, but right now, all you could do was listen.
“I’m buying a house,” he revealed, still holding your cheek and gaze. “Fit for a family. Safe neighborhood, good school district, giant backyard.” The list went over your head—it was all too surreal to register. You couldn’t even fathom what he was getting at until, “I want the two of you to come live there with me.”
Stunned, you remained completely silent until the tears dried, and he let go of your face.
“You don’t have to say anything right now.” He reaches across you and fetches the seatbelt before coming back over you to click it in place. “I’ll go get Junior and drive you home. Just stay here.”
You do as suggested and stay seated as he pops his door open and leaves—feeling all but cemented in place as your thoughts go tumbling around and around as if caught in a rip curl. When Junior jumps in beside you, a farfetched smile is all you can offer. Thankfully, he’s so enamored by a toy he’d gotten to notice much of your state.
When your door opens again, you’re led out and onto your neighborhood street. The fresh air does little to clear your mind. Feeling all but feverish as you hold Junior's small hand in yours while the man of your nightmares smiles all too fondly at the two of you.
“I’ll come pick you up after your shift on Monday.,” he says decidedly—cheerfully as he ruffles Junior’s hair enough to make him giggle. “Bring the rascal with you, and he can pick his room first.”
You weren’t planning on staying. You were never planning on staying—certain you would leave the second the opportunity to skip town arose—you just need to scramble the money together first.
But the house was huge… nothing you could ever dream of, and while it made you desperate with grief, you couldn’t deny it either… Junior really loved having a dad.
It nearly brought sick to your throat to call him that. It was a shot through the heart every time you heard Junior’s boyish call, squealing with giggles, saying “Daddy, daddy, daddy-”
None of it seemed right to you. Seeing his bright smile, now at the age where a new tooth fell out every other week—looking so goofy as he proudly shows the two of you the new one he’d just knocked out playing soccer at school. “Mommy, Daddy, look!”
What’s worse is that you can't even deny how good the man you hate is at it all—spoiling him with gifts and making him laugh—giving piggyback ride after air-plane flight after tickle-fight and a game of tag and hide’n’seek.
And it’s not just the easy stuff. He’s good at the shit that used to make you go crazy—putting him to bed, getting him dressed, making him eat the right stuff, and not just scuffle down candy. It’s as if the two of them have developed a secret language you’re not a part of. If Junior weren’t a toddler, you’d even suspect he’d been bribed and told to do his best to make you lose your mind. But no, it’s just reality.
The man you live with drives and picks your son up from school as if he’d done it since he was born, goes with you to meet the teacher if and when he gets into trouble and helps the two of you pick out the right shoes—shoes that you can now afford, thanks to him.
“I thought I might sleep in the master bedroom tonight.” He says, leaning against the frame in the doorway.
You’d been living there a month now. He’d been generous enough to sleep in the guest room up until now.
You don’t know how to deny him. It feels as if anything you might say would just be ignored or threatened until you eventually took it back. You didn’t want him in your bed—you didn’t want him in the same house—in fact, preferably, you’d want him to be six feet deep in the dirt.
You end up not answering. But he’s used to that by now.
“I get it…” he says, taking steps into the room you’d wrongfully thought was your safe space. “You don’t trust me.” He sits down at the edge of the bed and reaches out across the sheets. You’re too late to pull your feet to yourself before he has one in his hand. He doesn’t do much but stroke it. “But you can.”
The sincerity in his eyes makes you want to gouge them out. It’s all been some cruel joke ever since you moved in—all the pleasantries and presents, as if trying to distract you from the past. Your wardrobe is chockfull of it, and so is Junior’s room—filled to the brim with lies.
“I’m never gon’ hurt you.” Another lie. “I did you wrong once, and I’ll spend the rest of my life makin’ up for it.”
You want to shake your head, laugh in his face—anything to reject it. But you’re terrified of what he might do if you didn’t play along. The threat of losing Junior is enough to make you cooperative.
“I know I’ve not been fair—pushin’ you into all of this so fast.” He gets down on his knees on the floor as if praying, right down beside you. “I took advantage of a vulnerable situation ‘cause I’m an impatient asshole—but I promise you—” He takes your hand in both of his. “If you give me the chance, I’m gon’ make our lives together like somethin’ outa’ a fuckin’ fairytale—all that happily ever after shit and more, just like you always wanted.”
The kiss he presses upon your knuckles beckons goosebumps to rise all across you. All his words feel like a bad script read by an even worse actor—in fact, this whole thing feels like a prank. And still, it doesn’t surprise you—he’s been laughing at you ever since you were children.
And now, laughing still, only with a fucking ringbox in his hand.
“I want Junior to see us as a united front. I don’t want him askin’ question why we ain’t sleepin’ in the same bed, why we fight behind locked doors, why you cry in the bathroom.”
He pops the black velvet lid and reveals something so outrages it almost looks tacky lying there in a plush bed of red silk.
“I want us to be happy.” He picks the little thing out and holds it up between his thumb and index, still holding your hand in the other. “I want us to be real.” You can almost see your life flash before your eyes as it threatens your ring finger. “Let’s make us real.”
You don’t say anything as he eases the tiny hoop on, sliding it all the way back until it sits snugly right at your knuckle—dazzling in the dark. A tiny tear slips down your cheek—equally dazzling.
He played some with the digit—a smile on his face.
“Looks good on you, Mrs.” As he calls you by his last name you almost shake the ring off as if it burned to wear, but it all gets lost when he rushes forward and locks his lips with yours.
You yelp against his mouth, kept from turning away by the large hand holding your jaw, threatening to seize your throat and squeeze. You remember how it had felt. You don’t want more of a reminder, so you intercept his tongue with yours before he forced it down your throat.
He groans at the warm welcome, and your entire body shudders in memory.
You hadn’t let anyone touch you since that time five years ago. It had left a poor taste in your mouth, and the hunger for it had never come back.
You choke it down now as he climbs on top.
♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Naoya, Toji
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere smut#yancore#smut#yandere my hero academia#yandere boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia smut#mha smut#yandere mha#yandere bnha#my hero smut#my hero academia smut#bnha smut#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#yandere boyfriend#boyfriend#boyfriend scenarios
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doing a rant abt my uncommon name bc that’s my duty as someone with an uncommon name.
it’s rlly not a big deal but it’s so difficult trying to teach people how to say my name!! like i’m a pretty patient person; if someone’s genuinely asking how to say my name i’ll slowly pronounce it for them around seven times before i give in and just tell them it’s right. and while i go to a traditional catholic school that consists of a lot of biblical names, there’s a lot of names that are uncommon or aren’t english names and nobody has ever had as much trouble with any of those names as they do with my name. and then people, as in people with names like nicholas or sarah, get angry at me because during the past five years they’ve still not managed to say my name right but then when you do try and correct people politely they start like huffing and taking up an aggressive tone after like the third time i’ve very kindly told them that they’re not pronouncing my name right (which wouldn’t be a fucking problem if they’d stop pronouncing it the same wrong way each time i correct them but wtv). i really don’t know where i was going with this but i am just so sick and tired of people acting like i owe it to them to teach them how to say my name multiple times and that i owe them a lot of respect while they can be as impatient as they want towards me
#this was the worlds dumbest ramble#but it’s a hawaiian name—nobody i’m related to is hawaiian but my mum was really into hawaiian names when she had me—and nobody#in this school full of matthews and charlottes and whatnot can just grasp the idea of them actually being wrong about how a name is said#one of the other names my mum had picked out for me was leilani and sometimes i wished she’d gone w that bc at least that would be easier#for other ppl to say#but i’ve got a nice name it just sounds stupid when people are too incompetent to say a name properly#and like my friends in 2020 gave me such an ugly fucking nickname because it was “easier’’#and they called me that exclusively just bc it was easier for them to say#and usually i don’t mind ppl calling me whatever they want bc i clearly can’t afford to be picky#but i’ve had six ppl that i can think of off the top of my head tell me this year-three years later#that they thought that was my actual name. it sounds fuck all like my name#and i feel bad bc i told them they could call me that but i didn’t know they’d call me that each time that spoke to or abt me for 3 yrs#idk it’s just a bit dehumanising#that was such a pointless rant but none of my friends have tumblr so i can rant here without making them feel bad#i love my pookies i swear but it’s just a bit upsetting sometimes and none of them would rlly get it
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The world was on fire and no one could save me but you 🖤
🖤 What a wicked thing to do, 🐇 🐇 to make me dream of you 🖤
🖤 What a wicked thing to say, 🐇
🐇 you never felt this way 🖤
#I AM LOSING MY SHIT MAYHEM I AM LOSING MY FUCKING SHIT ALRIGHT? I turned the PC on for you I turned the PC on for you I put everything away#directly into your EAR— What are you DOING?! Are you trying to kill me?! You ARE killing me!! I went rogue yesterday and you just happily#followed—! And it seems like you'll drag Mare by the throat along too (gently.)(gently.) LISTEN TO ME. Listen to me now. -cracks fingERs-#Dream's expression is a mixture of helpless resignation. Like he is finally giving in to the fact that his nemesis—his sworn enemy—#has such a hold over his heart—over his soul—that he'd make /him/— Dream—Betray everything. Dream wished for it to be the other way around.#To break him— to make //him// (Hob) betray all he believed in— to chose him so he could ruin him proper. But with Hob pressed to him—#Rough hands holding with possession— with—love? Twisted wicked love— but lover nevertheless. Dream finally— /yields/. Even if just#for a moment. even if just for now. He gives under Hob's touch. Allowing himself weakness. Allowing himself what he sees as softness.#Allowing himself /ruin/. It's still coiled hot iron. But there's something more. Where Dream would have watched the world burn before—#/Now he'd watch it burn for Hob./— THIS IS THE SORT OF PLAY DREAM WOULD WANNA PLAT. He'd create them /history/ in the Dreaming.#Long and soaked with blood and betrayal history. Heated fucks in the dark of the night because they just can't help each other.#And yet if someone where to hurt Hob? Dream would kill them. 'Who did this to you' with nemesis. Only I am allowed to hurt you. No one else#This is of course ROLE PLAY this is the sort of dramatic elaborate play Dream would want to explore. Like the 'What if we were enemies'#'What if we hated each other—/unless/—!?' The DRAMA. THE SUSPENSE. The need for self ruin and sALVATION. From the same person.#Needing to be saved so badly you'd ruin everything you touch. Wanting to see the world burn and wanting /that person/ to be thelast you see#Dream wishing to conquer to break to possesses— Dream allowing Nightmare out— for he is as much of him as the other half is.#Dream still falling helplessly in love and FORCED into accepting his nemesis will on him. And Hob— Hob who feels so strongly about him.#Who has no idea what is love and hate anymore. What is loyalty. What is right or wrong. He knows in the privacy of his head that he'd DIE.#He'd DIE for him. They have nothing together. No life. No relationship. Not even friendship. But he's the only person he still knows and#he'd BURN FOR HIM. — (( I AM A NORMAL HUMAN BEING ABOUT IT OKAY HAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! THIS IS RP- they ofc can also just play other nemesis plot#BUT THIS IS THE PLOT I WISHED TO PASS!!!!! Okay!!! there can be recreational moment of their fight etc etc BUT FOR NOW THIS IS WHAT I WANT#tsm art#dreamling#the sandman#THIS IS HALF RECREATED AS TUMBLR APPARENTLY ONLY ALLOWS 30 (i will censor what i feel about it) SO PART OF THE INSANITY WAS LOST BUT I DID#MY BEST TO RECRIATE IT AS BEST i COULD BECAUSE THIS ART MADE ME WANT TO START BITING PEOPLE OKAY OKAY OKAY :))))))))))))) I AM PERFECTLY OK#mayhem change your url into MENACE I swear from one hand theres cubism from the other mayhem it's like insanity all around#i am the only one normal :)) —famous last words#Silly Rabbit au#buns.t
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It's so funny trying to look back @ what my core knowledge of Sonic the Hedgehog games are and like I'm fairly sure I knew about the orca level, I knew abt the Chaos Emeralds and Sonic (obviously) as well as Amy having a crush on Sonic and Tails being like a little kid and I knew abt Eggman and that he wanted the Chaos Emeralds to power his machines and that he was in this egg shaped ship thing
Not sure about anything else tho like if I had any other knowledge of the characters (before joining the Internet) the only reason I remember that I knew that prior to anyone else telling me stuff besides my main irl source is bcuz I would imagine stuff abt Sonic and Friends based on certain songs and I know those were like the base components while imagining that stuff :P
#I only ever did it with Sonic? and it was like only a few songs it wasn't even like I was doing it with tons of songs#I guess I've always been particular about that kinda stuff the vibes gotta fit#anywayyy I might be bending my own rules a bit about the whole Sonic stuff#I'm watching like hours of people talking about Sonic but still not technically watching thru gameplay sooo#still technically don't know stuff... technically#I'm very much a come to my own conclusions type so I would actively have to see the gameplay for myself to have my own opinions#otherwise I'm just kinda adding information to my head bank#but not really forming an emotional attachment for it#since I'd gotta see it personally first hand#I trust people to tell me info but I don't trust people's opinions cuz watch 3 different videos with the same topic and they all have#different opinions about the same game lmao#plus in general I am easy to please so I might like more stuff that others don't and also in terms of characterization#everyone has their own way of viewing that shit too so the stuff I could see people sayin abt these characters could be just totally wrong#or right in their own sense! but maybe not MY sense :P#and maybe we'll never know 👻👻👻 cuz I'm trying to stay away from that still lmao#I will say finding out like super random shit that I've never seen ppl talk abt and prolly no one cares or thinks abt#and becoming really interesting in that to the point of wanting to draw it is very funny to me bcuz very typical of me huh#if you know the human Sonic comic just know that I do NOT like it but I do in the sense of like I could fix you#purely style wise but also they for sure could have told a better story there was some potential there I#I'm sure I swear Tumblr stop cutting me off ANYWAY maybe I'm not the best to rewrite it obviously but like I could still see ways#for it to be improved from a general standpoint lmao
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