#this was the worlds dumbest ramble

[mediocreinternetuser]

doing a rant abt my uncommon name bc that’s my duty as someone with an uncommon name.

it’s rlly not a big deal but it’s so difficult trying to teach people how to say my name!! like i’m a pretty patient person; if someone’s genuinely asking how to say my name i’ll slowly pronounce it for them around seven times before i give in and just tell them it’s right. and while i go to a traditional catholic school that consists of a lot of biblical names, there’s a lot of names that are uncommon or aren’t english names and nobody has ever had as much trouble with any of those names as they do with my name. and then people, as in people with names like nicholas or sarah, get angry at me because during the past five years they’ve still not managed to say my name right but then when you do try and correct people politely they start like huffing and taking up an aggressive tone after like the third time i’ve very kindly told them that they’re not pronouncing my name right (which wouldn’t be a fucking problem if they’d stop pronouncing it the same wrong way each time i correct them but wtv). i really don’t know where i was going with this but i am just so sick and tired of people acting like i owe it to them to teach them how to say my name multiple times and that i owe them a lot of respect while they can be as impatient as they want towards me

[nulli-cat]

I was thinking about dungeon meshi and jurassic park (random I know)

My mind went to the second jurassic world movie

spoilers I guess if you haven't seen it

in the movie there's a little girl who is a clone of another kid and all of the dinosaurs are about to die so she releases them because they have a right to live just like her

I was wondering since Laios likes monsters (and Dinos are pretty similar) if he was in that situation would he release the dinosaurs

I don't think he would.

even though they have a right to live, they still would cause damage to the ecosystem. No animal is prepared for ginormous predators like t-rexs so many species would be in danger. Laios seems to have a lot of knowledge of nature in terms of ecosystems. I don't he'd free them because of the consequences it would have on nature.

[fishparasite]

almost reblogged a post by someone i find annoying #bulletdodged

[ravewing]

i always think to myself man i wish i had a really kick ass name instead of stupid jacob like ok basic and its like no i literally hand picked that name on my own what am i even complaining for i brought this upon my self

[transrightsjimin]

cishet men are truly so fuckijg stupid like nothing i say ever enters their brains besides compute out smth incomprehensible or a "i can't imagine myself in that position so idk idk what to say 😐" reaction. all the daily beer over the years truly destroyed their brains

i tried to explain to a sort of autism caretaker what gender dysphoria is. he went on ab what a waste that would be bc What if my "future partner" likes to touch breasts (gtfo i dont want sex). etc etc i wrote ab this before.

i complain ab this to my dad in the car and he somehow gets upset bc he thinks i meant i don't want to have any form of intimacy including not wanting to be in contact w my male friend?? WHAT

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

I don’t normally post about Batman stuff because I have a lot of Opinions that would probably get me shot down in the street here in the Tumblr Batfandom. But tbh I think trying to apply real-world logic to Batman is a mistake. To a certain degree, it’s innate to the concept – he’s a vigilante working outside the law because it failed him and so many others, the various moral quandaries, etc. etc., and there are a lot of opportunities to analyze real-world problems through the framework of Batman media.

But way too many people get caught up in this idea of “Batman is bad because in reality [insert various gripes here]” when tbh I think Batman media works better when you treat it like a dark, Grimm Brothers style fairy tale. Trying to look at the text solely through the lens of our real world doesn’t work because it’s not meant to represent the real world. Everything about it is heightened and exaggerated and yes there are absolutely elements of the real world and it takes a look at real world issues of justice and whatnot but the criticism of “Batman is bad because he’s rich” or whatever the fuck is fundamentally missing the damn point.

[aashiqui-aashiqui]

i need to be shot

[vinyls-and-valentines]

Man, I wish I was a better judge of whether something is popular or not 'cuz that'd save me a lot of needless frustration when it comes to online discourse

[nero-neptune]

i know i'm over a decade late to this realization but– ptv's "props and mayhem" was about the john boyega classic "attack the block" the Whole Time??? of "this is MY BLOCK, GET ME" fame??? it's named after those kids in the movie called "probs" and "mayhem"???!! get that snitch / get the strap / don't give a fuck / BRAP BRAP BRAP????!!!! (i'm crying real hysterical tears over this btw)

[pe0pleall3rgy]

something that just popped into my head mere moments ago is ford explaining things so they sound absolutely horrifying when it isnt as bad as he makes it sound

dipper gets appendicitis and he's in the hospital and he needs to get it removed, and nobody understands the terms the doctors are throwing around except for ford so he turns to an insanely stressed stan hugging mabel to keep her from crying and at the worst time he says "yes, so, they want his organs and i can assure you they're going to get them" and they both start freaking out so he corrects himself in a PANIC "oh no-- no mabel dont cry please it was a joke it's a very common procedure HES NOT GOING TO DIE ITS ONLY ONE ORGAN"

(^^^ this is like barely related i just wanted to joke about ford saying dumb shit in a situation where he needs to be smart)

-gf anon (also im currently filling out a google doc of younger ford headcanons so i will be dumping those on you sometime)

LMAOO I absolutely adore Ford being kind of clueless of the most socially acceptable thing to say in these scenarios. He’s out the gate with the most morbid-sounding explanation possible.

[excelsior9173]

so a few weeks ago i went to a house party at my buddy’s place. saw a lotta friends, had a great time. drank way too much and was probably the most blackout drunk i’ve ever been (always check your drink % folks!) like, i don’t remember leaving the party or going home or anything. i only remember hitting on my sister’s gf and eating chicken nuggets (yeah, i’m classy like that 😎)

anyways! today i found out that after i got home from said party, i somehow managed to send a photo of a supper i made over a month ago to the group chat with said friends, and i heart reacted to it 😂

apparently shitfaced exie likes to share their cooking exploits??? i was in truly fine form oh my god i can’t stop laughing

[another-shameless-fangirl]

It would be pretty great if my office job let us work from home but yeah no let's be super busy instead since the other, larger office is basically shut down because of icy roads and they can just use up their paid time off because they don't wanna die.

I'm going to fire myself into the center of the earth and feast on fire

[newvegascowboy]

1. They have done this before

2. Both of them privately decided that Doomguy hasn't died yet, so he'll probably be fine

3. They did it because Samuel Hayden said No

I don't think there's a better microcosm of Doomguy and VEGA's relationship than doomguy pulling up a picture of the BFG 10k and VEGA immediately understanding.

[satanslittlefucker]

Bestfriend!Simon who always listens to anything you've got to say. Be it nonsensical, useless ramblings or the events of the day or the same complaint a thousandth time in the span of the last two hours, he will listen to it regardless. And with all the attention in the world as well, not just dismissively or for the sake of it.

Bestfriend!Simon who never disregards your thoughts, even the dumbest ones. You'd randomly tell him something utterly stupid like Did you know Si, reindeer like to eat bananas. Or like Do pesky insects also have wives and children wondering where they fucked off to? Or like We're practically giants to the little animals. Like we might just be their version of giraffes and elephants. And he'd be staring at you with the utmost focus, nodding with a Tha's fascinating, love. Just ignore the hearts and sparkles in his big brown puppy eyes, yeah? Easy task, given that you're fucking oblivious to them, assuming that the tidbit was just that interesting to him.

Bestfriend! Simon who'll randomly spout out something you'd said as a throwaway way back when and now you're confused why that sounds so familiar, forgetting that he's literally quoting you, what with your fish brain memory. You only remember it late in the night lying in bed while having late night life reevaluating 3 am thoughts. Feeling all warm and cosy inside when you finally realize.

Bestfriend!Simon who'll always try to resolve whatever's troubling you in record time without you even knowing half the time. The tap in your bathroom's leaking? Ten minutes and it's fixed. Your back's aching? Lie down, love, he's got magic hands. The landlord's being a dick? Not anymore, she isn't. That one coworker who just won't take the hint? Such a relief he's getting transferred, Si. Don't ask him how he knows which backwater branch. He just gave a lucky guess. That one fucker who tried to grope a feel in the nightclub? Vanished off the face of the earth. And no, Simon dunno know nothin bout it, love. He'd simply tossed the guy out into the back alley before returning to you. He's learnt some dirty tricks during his time in the military, as one does.

[ginkgo-phyta]

I'm back again 😅

Hopefully, I'm not the only person with this opinion, but how do you think Spencer would react if his significant other told him that they thought he looked hot with his bulletproof vest on? 👀

omg is this injured spencer request anon?? I NEED TO KNOW im so sorry if it's not tho, whoever you are thank you so much for coming back!! i love you with all my heart you should use a special emoji as like ur own lil signature! :D

okay so i wanted to try blurb(?) format but mmm okay not really cuz just a wall of text was stressing me out but this is def more informal than my other work (look no capital letters!) and because i love you so much i present two scenarios for you :P... i cant fight this feeling anymore guys he rlly is so hot in his vest im becoming my most feral self grrrrr RAH RAH ALRIGHT hope you enjoy, my love!

OKAY SO SPENCER REACTING TO YOU TELING HIM HE'S HOT IN HIS FBI VEST gn! reader, fluff, second scenario a little steamy in tone but nothing explicit just h*rny vibes, no other warnings

if you weren't a profiler: you'd never thought about it before- spencer in his bulletproof vest. sure, you knew that his job required him to go into sticky situations where the prospect of gunfire was imminent and he would have to wear proper equipment, but you never put two nd two together. you never even thought of a kevlar vest as something that could be hot...until you saw a picture of him wearing it.

"what the hell is that." you blurt out, voice serious with hints of concern.

"huh?" spencer's as clueless as ever, a little worried about your reaction. he was just showing you random photos his team members had taken over the years, all printed out for easy viewing courtesy of the ever-so-accommodating penolope garcia. someone had taken a pic of a beautiful lake where the bau had saved yet another victim, the sun dipping below the horizon line of pine trees, painting the sky purple and pink. "um...the sunset?" spencer was confused, "i guess maybe it was kinda a weird time to take a photo, but no one was hurt and we caught the unsub and the sky really did look-"

you cut off his rambling with a wave of your hand, eyes never leaving the photo in front of you, "no, no...what's that." you point to what you were talking about, a figure standing off to the side.

spencer takes a minute, becoming even more bewildered "...me?" in that moment your world changed.

"oh my god... "you whispered in a daze, firmly pulling the picture out of spencer's fingers and into your own, "what...what are you wearing?"

"honey what's wrong? it's just my bulletproof vest. i know it might look a little funny, but it, y'know, keeps me alive..." he scratches the back of his neck. a couple seconds of silence pass, but to spencer it feels excruciatingly long.

"spencer," you look at up at him deadpan "you look so fucking hot." to say your boyfriend was shocked would be an understatement.

he was absolutely blown away by your response, so much so that the way his face contorted looked borderline disgusted. "wha-what?? huh? what?" he clamored, eyes flitting over your face to find any sign you were joking.

"seriously, baby, you look so good. oh, my God!!" you almost shriek, gripping the picture tighter, the widest, dumbest grin pulling up your cheeks as you giggle like a schoolgirl.

spencer smiles at your reaction, still a little perplexed "you really think so?" the notion begins to sink into his bones, making him giddy.

you very enthusiastically nod your head, "are there any more pictures of you like this?" you rip the rest of the photos out of spencer's hands, scouring through them at light speed. out of nowhere, spencer laughs out loud, his nose scrunching in delight.

"i...don't know what to say. i'm flattered you think that," a wonderful blush shimmers over his cheeks, "but no i don't think there are. sadly." he playfully adds.

you stop all movements, slowly turning towards him, suspiciously calm. "well then," you grab your phone and suddenly stand up "looks like i'll just have to ask penelope for some!"

"wait! wait, no!" spencer calls after you as you start speed-walking away, your shirt barely escaping his fingertips. he yells out your name, his serious tone interrupted by a giggle of his own as he begins chasing you, "get back here!" he knows: garcia can never ever find out about this...

if you were a profiler: you had seen spencer don his FBI branded bulletproof vest hundreds of times over the years. although you had pined over him for years and were now finally in a relationship with him, seeing him like that didn't make you feel any type of way really. sure, you thought he looked strong and handsome, but most of the time you were too caught up in the case or situation at hand to focus on how he looked. until now. something had shifted in him in the last few months, not just with his ever-changing haircut, but within the way he held himself; more confident, more sure of himself, even more cocky, if you will. whatever it was, it drew your eyes to him in his tight little vest like a lightbulb draws in moths- instantly and continuously. it all came to a head when you caught the unsub responsible for drowning and resuscitating his victims until they couldn't be brought back to life. spencer dove into the lake with emily to apprehend the killer while you had helped the kid he had hostage reunite with his mother. you smiled at the scene in front of you, the teenager running into his mother's shaking arms, her holding him close in a tight embrace. another good ending, you thought to yourself before turning back to watch your fellow profilers make the arrest. suddenly, you mouth goes dry. there spencer reid stood; soaking wet, clothes sticking to his skin, chest rising and falling as he panted to catch his breath, his hand pushing his wet hair out of his face. and that stupid, goddamn kevlar vest. oh, fuck. the others walked away from the dock to situate everyone and themselves in respected vehicles that sat back on the road a few hundred feet away from where you currently were. as spencer moved to follow behind emily, hands trying to flick the water off of him, your gaze stopped him in his tracks. he stood there, a bit confused as to why you were walking towards him, seemingly entranced, instead of beelining behind everyone else.

he spoke out your name, but you remained silent, stopping just a couple feet away from him. you took him in one more time: the way his shirt became translucent, granting you with peeks of his skin; his sleeves rolled up, showing off his delicious forearms; the way his soaked pants choked his thick thighs. you became woozy with desire. spencer watched as your eyes dragged over his figure, drinking in every inch of his dripping body. "oh, baby..." you voice drawled out as soon as your gaze landed on his bulletproof vest, "you're absolutely soaking wet." spencer's eyebrows shot up his forehead at the suggestive twinkle in your timbre. you approached him further, chest just inches away from his. if he wasn't so intrigued by your reaction, he would have been a bit more cautious of lingering teammates. your hands came up to ghost over his vest, "did i ever tell you how good i think you look in this?" you looked up at him through your lashes.

spencer chuckled, "in the bulletproof vest?" you nodded in response, but spencer still couldn't really believe it. "uh, no, actually, you haven't." his eyes glinted at the way you bit your lip, his hands moving on their own accord to rest on your hips. you could feel droplets of water seep into the material and lick your skin, but you didn't give a rat's ass.

"well, you do." you whisper, hands wrapping around the back of his neck as you pull yourself up to press a kiss to his lips, "really, really good." your mouth moves enticingly with his.

"oh? is that so?" he whispers against your lips, diving back in, his fingers digging in your hips. he graciously kisses you for a moment before it dawns on him that you're both still at work- in an active crime scene, at that. "mmh, mmh!" he vocalizes between kisses as he tries to move his head back a smidge. his eyes peak open just enough to see if anyone else was around. your lips are addicting, rendering him unable to fully tell you to stop, unable to fully pull away himself. he's relieved when he spots no one. still, he know this is far from appropriate. spencer's hands move up your body to wrap around your wrists behind him, pulling them away from him and the same time he pulled away from you, "okay, okay!" he breathes out with a chuckle, "i believe you now" he tries to catch his bearings, but your pouting face causes him to laugh again

"spencerrrr," you groan at the loss of your beloved's kisses and he turns you around and pushes you towards the spot where the others vanished, walking behind you with his hands on your shoulders, your body held at an arm's distance.

"let's go, angel." his words brought out a hmph! from you. "we can do more of that later at home" he whispers, leaning in ever-so-slightly.

you turn your head back to get a glimpse of him, your eyes and smile equally wide with excitement, "can you bring the vest with you?!"

A/N: OKAYYYY lemme stop myself before things get filthy LOL do yall know which episode im referring to in the second scenario? that end scene will always get me my eye are GLUED to spencer the entire time GODDAMN. okay anyway i hope you liked this anon!!! pls tell me yalls thoughts <3

[txttletale]

can you talk more about what you like about hypnospace outlaw? i love that game but i thought it was more a cute fun time than an exceptional narrative, im surprised to see it as your top 5 game of all time

i guess the "main story", if you can call it that, is--i agree with you--not an exceptional narrative. but, like, i think the stories that matter in hypnospace outlaw are the individual stories of the people who make their little pages, and those stories are not only wonderful but conveyed incredibly. hypnospace outlaw is about seeing the digital footprints people leave, about learning about other people's passions, about exploring a social space and realizing there's all kinds of people in the world. it's a story that speaks to me a lot and my early experiences on the internet--there is such a powerful feeling of connection and intimacy with its characters achieved just through these little webpages, in little choices like how they decorated them, and there's so much attention put into all the little details of that. & the fact that you don't even get to interact with these people just makes it stronger to me, gives it this bittersweet melancholy edge (best encapsulated by the unbelievably good theme song).

it makes me remember being a kid online and making my lame little forum posts but also makes me reminisce on my time online now, on what someone might think of me if they only saw my blog. it speaks to these asymmetrical strange moments of connection, of finding some weird website about frogs someone's maintained since 1997. it's more than just nostalgia for a specific aesthetic or moment--my early internet experiences happened long after the age of neocities that HO is riffing on directly--but about the power of the internet to be wonderful and strange and stupid and funny and infuriating, to put you in contact with strange and magical people and also the dumbest motherfuckers alive. there is such a tenderness and love on part of the game for each and every character in it, from the confused old grandma to the edgy teen to the homophobic kid.

this is a very rambly answer but hopefully this helps convey why i think it's a top 5 game for me !