#worst thing is i can more often talk to men better than women. bc i do relate to like being less social. autism and all

[transrightsjimin]

cishet men are truly so fuckijg stupid like nothing i say ever enters their brains besides compute out smth incomprehensible or a "i can't imagine myself in that position so idk idk what to say 😐" reaction. all the daily beer over the years truly destroyed their brains

i tried to explain to a sort of autism caretaker what gender dysphoria is. he went on ab what a waste that would be bc What if my "future partner" likes to touch breasts (gtfo i dont want sex). etc etc i wrote ab this before.

i complain ab this to my dad in the car and he somehow gets upset bc he thinks i meant i don't want to have any form of intimacy including not wanting to be in contact w my male friend?? WHAT

[mithliya]

https://www.tumblr.com/menalez/723707154787352576/naur-have-you-seen-coloredcanvass-essay-reblog-to

^ it gets even worse lmfao cuz she wrote her own essay reply to her (i think 6b4t blocked her cuz i can’t see it in the notes) and it’s even longer and more deranged.. the essay wars kek

yeah uh i saw it and there’s literally so many issues i have w so many parts of that response that idek where to even begin. she’s straight up talking over an eastern lesbian of colour repeatedly, minimises homophobia from OSA women, argues OSA women don’t have the power to perpetuate homophobia, compared op to incels, and more… she even argued that straight women are put in conversion therapy by their husbands??? it was really weird.

saying a lesbian of colour “sounds like an incel” for saying that radfems should be separatists (???????)

argues that libfems calling for a sex strike when roe v wade was overturned is somehow a bad thing, bc apparently encouraging women to sleep with men (who are unlikely to even sexually satisfy women to begin with) & risking getting pregnant from it when they can be literally prosecuted for getting an abortion makes sense..? like at least the libfems were trying to make a statement about how if women have no rights then women aren’t gonna waste their time sexually pleasing men!

this was just bizarre. i could also compare russia to taiwan to argue that asia has the best gay rights and europe has the worst but at the end of the day we know that the west is ahead in terms of human rights (women’s rights, gay rights, individual rights, etc). no, not all of the east has it bad & not all of the west has it good. op never even argued otherwise! she said that western women overall have more privileges than eastern women, western gay ppl overall have more privileged than eastern gay people, and so they can afford to be less extreme in their fight against discrimination & oppression in a way that the rest of us cannot. she did not say that every western woman is super privileged and lazy or something.

also i love the assumption that tokyo is like, a good example of a place where homosexuality is accepted.

we were talking about lesbians specifically and if the fact that women have no agency in a huge portion of the world and are often forced into marriages and there’s phenomena of lesbians taking vows of chastity JUST so they don’t have to be with men doesn’t clue u in on how many lesbians have resigned to the fact that they can never actually be with women, then idk how to help.

my god. do we really need to explain how there’s significantly more & better representation of female heterosexuality than there is of female same sex attraction then?

conversion therapy? for being attracted to men? are u being serious right now… the rest is true and idk how this is supposed to support the idea that women should keep on marrying men. but women are not sent to conversion therapy for being married to men.. thats not a thing

minimising homophobia from women as if lesbians haven’t been abused, disowned, sent to conversion therapy, forced into het marriages, duped into situations with men, etc etc with the help of OSA women..

not all men

saying things are far less common in the west & women generally have it better in the west is different from saying they don't exist in the west. yes, all of those horrible things exist in the west. no, overall, misogyny in the west is not as blatant and overt and accepted and indeed western women have a privilege over eastern women in that sense. women where im from literally cannot even go to police for being raped bc that often means losing everything. shi'a women where im from cannot initiate divorce even when theyre being abused. marital rape is legal where im from. these are just a few examples of things we experience and its not wrong to say that.

calling an eastern woc a “racist, classist piece of shit” for saying western women tend to face less extreme misogyny than us sure is something.

if every woman was fully aware of her oppression and combatting misogyny then things would be very different today. even women in the middle east will argue they don’t have it bad. my own mother argued she never faced misogyny in the workplace while also saying she quit work because they kept sexualising her and telling her she’s too “alluring” as she’s the only non-hijabi in her workplace. people face oppression, it doesn’t mean they are aware of it or accept the nature of it as oppression.

there’s a couple more things she said that i take issues with but there’s a limit to how many screenshots i can share so let me summarise the remaining stuff:

1. thecoloredcanvas offended on behalf of eastern women and putting “eastern” in quotations, but not doing the same for western women. odd behaviour because i’ve never come across an eastern woman who even takes issue with the term.

2. saying “no radfem is seriously claiming that they can’t live or function without sex” immediately followed up with “sex absolutely is a need”…

3. saying woc & lesbians aren’t being “chased out of” radical feminist spaces. she even argues that if we leave radblr, it’s on us as if this space isn’t hostile to us and protective of racist & homophobic women. she ignores the entire history of “the lavender menace” & political lesbianism & racism & lesbophobia within radical feminism.

[radiant-reid]

idk if the first one got sent-

(ok this is one of the worst things to talk ab on international womens day of all days bUT-)

i know that i, a modern day feminist, wants ANY man to know that i can handle myself in any situation like that anon ask but now bc of said ask i need blurbs of husband(or boyfriend or pining, idc)!spencer standing up for or defending reader or else. i wont take no for an answer girlies, so ima need you to drop recs in the comments

-🐝

of course. i'm sorry it's so late <3

Spencer is used to being the odd one out. He's the youngest member of the BAU, and his intellect often sets him apart from his colleagues.

But he has never felt as uncomfortable as he does now, standing in the crowded police precinct, surrounded by men who were openly leering at you.

It had started with a few offhand comments, the kind that was meant to be funny but left a sour taste in Spencer's mouth. Then it had escalated to outright harassment, with some of the officers making suggestive gestures as you walked by.

Spencer had tried to ignore it at first, let you deal with it as you saw most appropriate and focus on the task at hand, but as the comments became more aggressive and personal, he knew he couldn't stay silent any longer.

"Excuse me." He says, stepping in front of you and facing the group of officers. "Can we please focus on the case at hand? We're all here to solve a crime, not to make inappropriate comments about our colleagues." The officers laugh, but Spencer stands his ground. "I'm serious." He says, his voice rising with anger. "This behavior is unacceptable, and it needs to stop."

One of the officers, a burly man with a thick mustache and bad body odor, steps forward. "What's the matter, pretty boy?" He sneers. "Can't handle a little locker room talk?"

Spencer feels a surge of rage. How could these men be so callous, so disrespectful? No matter what room it happens in, it's wrong. He takes a step forward, ready to confront the officer, but before he can say anything, you speak up.

"Excuse me." You say, keeping a calm but firm voice. You've kept quiet out of ease, blowing up at them would only make the whole working relationship tense, and to save people, everyone needs to be working together. "I don't appreciate being talked about like I'm a piece of meat. And I'm sure the families of the victims we're here to help wouldn't appreciate it either."

The room falls silent, and for a moment, Spencer thinks the officers might apologize and back off. But then the mustache man steps forward again, his face twisted in anger.

"Who do you think you are?" He growls. "Coming in here, telling us how to do our jobs?"

"I'm not telling you how to do your job." You say. "I'm asking you to show me respect."

The officer scoffs. "Respect? You want respect? How about you show us a little respect and stop acting like you're better than us?"

Spencer can feel his blood boiling. This man is completely out of line, and he knows he had to do something before the situation gets out of hand.

"Excuse me." He says, his voice steady but forceful. "Y/n is not acting like she's better than anyone. She's simply asking to be treated with basic human decency. That isn't too much to ask."

The officer glares at Spencer, but before he can say anything, the door to the precinct opens, and a man in a suit walks in.

"What's going on here?" He asks, looking around the room.

Spencer recognizes him as the captain of the precinct, and he breathes a sigh of relief. Maybe with a higher-up present, the officers will back off.

But the mustache man isn't done yet. "These feds are coming in here, telling us how to do our jobs, and then they're crying about being disrespected? Give me a break."

The captain raises an eyebrow. "Is that true?" He asked, looking at you. It seems impossible he's even questioning your truthfulness.

Spencer takes a deep breath, ready to defend you until the end. "No, sir." He says. "We're here to work with you, not against you. But we won't tolerate being harassed. Agent L/n hasn't reacted to any of the disgusting comments coming from your officers, but one more and all the sanctions you can imagine will be filed against your officers and you as their supervisor." He's always been respectful of authority, drawn inside the line, but this is an argument he's not going to back down from.

Thankfully, the captain understands the seriousness of what's gone on. You're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has just had his head in the sand for the last few days. It's not surprising when he's spent most of the time in his office with the blinds drawn. "Outside, all of you. Now." He sounds furious, scowling at them.

You turn to him, nudging his shoulder. "Thanks."

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry you had to listen to that crap, and I hope I didn't overstep by stepping in."

"Not at all." You assure him. "Thank you for it, truly."

[baddiedaddy7]

𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀🦴❤️‍🩹

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

some ppl with these placements actually look younger than their age. but then some look like moms/dads when they’re like in their teens lmao. well built cheekbones. dominant jawline, and splendid smile usually. pale for their race. a lot of hair usually(cher has this lol). ppl may not find you approachable, since you may have rbf. overawing, and sphinxlike vibes. alert with their surroundings. can be kind. you may be harsh on yourself, and may not give yourself credit. since saturn rules restrictions, and 1st house expressions, you may be introverted/shy/reserved.

celebrities:Princess Diana, Britney Spears, John Lennon, Kevin Hart

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

don’t play when it comes to clothes, cars, houses, materials in general, and their finances/money. makes smart money moves. may get rich/have luck in the business world when they’re older(like 40s, and up). unpretentious. may like to collect things, and go to antique shops. may like “old” or “vintage” items. may stress over money, and may be cheap tbh. may wear ties a lot lol. i think of businessmen/women for this placement since that may be how you dress. you may also wear clothes that don’t draw much attention, and you may not even wear name brand clothes that often. may like soft smells/smells that aren’t too strong(flower essential oils, vanilla, etc). may love or hate coffee, green veggies, starches, alcohol, and salty food in general. may not like to let ppl borrow things/may be stingy(saturn=restrict, 2nd=money/materials)

celebrities:Ariana Grande, Jennifer Lawrence, Prince, Kanye West

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

laid back way of talking. i feel like they would have a “demanding” or maybe deep voice lmao. takes school seriously. may be shy when it comes to talking to classmates, or just reserved. probably just sees school to help get a career, and not to make friends. siblings may have capricorn/saturn in their chart. you may be the oldest sibling, or the most reliable. you may be stern, and overprotective with siblings. might have a harsh relationship w/siblings, and neigbors. may isolate from the community. most likely dislikes speaking in front of many ppl/doing presentations. usually respectful.

celebrities:Kylie Jenner, Bjork, Jim Carrey, Steve Jobs

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

scared of vulnerability, may get disappointed when trying to lean on others, because they are not of much help. daddy/mommy issues(more of daddy tbh), or abandonment issues. may worry a lot abt ppl they love. has it hard in the beginning of life, but makes it to the top. life gets better, but childhood was most likely hard. worried abt finances as a kid when they shouldn’t have, may not have gotten a lot of attention as a kid, and one of the parents or maybe both were workaholics. one parent or both parents may be strict/cold. just needs a lot of affection🥺. may be grateful that their childhood was rough, since it made them a better person. might be an only child. family most likely is traditional and/or religious, maybe too conventional. these ppl are warm yet cold(if that makes sense lmaoo). intelligent more often than not.

celebrities:Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Tom Cruise, Drake

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

probably doesn’t know how to let loose, and have a good time! most likely doesn’t want many kids, and/or may have kids in their 30’s+. will most likely make sure they’re financially stable before having kids. may be a wall hugger at parties/just chill on the corner. serious/doesn’t play games, reliable, loyal, and honest in the dating world. children may have capricorn/saturn in their chart(esp the first child). wants the best for their kids. may be strict, and may need to try being more open minded when it comes to parenting. hobbies may be sleeping, reading, working, planning, studying/researching, etc. may like to visit old fashioned places(museums, antique shops, etc). solemn aura. may lose virginity later than usual.

celebrities:Shakira, Dua Lipa, Jim Morrison, Heath Ledger

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

try getting out your comfort zone, every once in awhile. most likely has a routine. judgemental with co-workers. watches health, very closely. may work too much. pets should be independent baddies, and mysterious(so cats mainly, or reptiles). you’re inventive. remember it’s okay to take a break, and do nothing useful at all :)

celebrities:Lady Gaga, Adele, Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Murphy

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

attracts capricorn’s/ppl with a lot of saturn in their chart easily. may date someone much older or younger, age difference will be significant. may start dating/get a first love later than others. positive:attracts reliable, loyal, secure, and has their priorities straight ppl. at worst you attract:boring, stern, harsh, cold, materialistic, ppl. this could apply to your friends too btw, not just lovers. you need to make sure you set rules for your relationships, and make sure your standards are at a good level. another good thing abt this placement is you’re more likely to have long lasting, and stable relationships. you may fear rejection, but you jeee to learn that it’s okay and it happens to everyone.

celebrities:Selena Gomez, Jennifer Lopez, Kurt Cobain, Johnny Depp

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

either has sex a lot young or old no in between. may have a period where they don’t have sex at all for awhile. may become spiritual later on. may get into astrology later on also lol. most likely will die of old age/naturally. cynical. men here may be small(ifyk what i mean), but you can also last a good amount of time in bed. may actually be good at sex, bc saturn means trying to be the best at something/success lol. fears death(i feel like these ppl fear more of what happens after death, not death itself).

celebrities:Khole Kardashian, Renee Zellweger, Elton John, Dwayne Johnson

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

luck, and fortune happens in your 30s+. may be closed minded, but may become more open minded as they grow. may be conservative. but may also be an atheist tbh. may want to major in business, become a lawyer, major in finances, etc. hard headed, but clear sighted. may not be a fan of traveling, or may not have many chances to until their older.

celebrities:Rihanna, Julia Roberts, Paul Mccartney, Charlie Chaplin

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

reputation may be that you are a no nonsense, hard working, logical, reliable, and loyal person. may have known what you wanted to be for a long time. you may have a job associated with your family/a tradition. afraid of not succeeding. ceo, judge, teacher, engineer, lawyer, businessman/woman may be a job of yours. you may overwork yourself, take a day off to just relax. may start working later in their 30s. ambitious

celebrities:Kim Kardashian, Oprah Winfrey, Chris Evans, Michael Jackson

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

may attract friends/ppl that crush on you that have capricorn/saturn in their chart. may have friends for a very long time. may become more of a social butterfly/make friends more often in their 30s+. at first, you may hate socializing, and picky with who their friends with/won’t just befriend anyone. the reliable friend, will always be there for you, and loyal(or these might be the traits of your friends). doesn’t have time for fake friends. you will stand for your friends or they’ll stand up for you. honestly you may be one of those ppl that say they’re “born in the wrong generation” lmao. may not relate to ppl your age.

celebrities:Cameron Diaz, Demi Moore, Elon Musk, Robin Williams

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

taps into spirituality in their 30s+. may deny spirituality for awhile, and their intuition. don’t deny your gut feelings, and your energies baby :). your past life may have been rough. i’ve heard that jail may have happened for individuals with this placement in their past lives. you may go through hardship, before getting living a good and easy life. may be regretful for no good reason. need to work on expressing yourself emotionally, and not bottling up how you feel. maybe try to express your feelings in a creative way(music, art, poetry, etc).

celebrities:Beyoncé, Angelina Jolie, Will Smith, Robert De Niro

[pumpumdemsugah]

“i've started to realize that the difference in their reaction to these two points is that they seem to sincerely believe on a fundamental level that being queer/trans racializes them, and especially does so that makes them analogous to Black people. so when they say "anti trans ideology is always racist", they're not necessarily saying that because they actually care about Black people, but because they think *they* are included as among those targeted by the racism.” saw this on twitter and made think of your points about how white queer people love using Black women’s dehumanisation as a gotcha and it feels incredibly precise. i bought into the whole “oh there’s kinship between Black women and trans women bc of beauty standards” for about ten minutes before I a) engaged my brain more seriously and b) noticed that Black trans women do not use our bodies as battering rams to break down gender. it’s not a coincidence that i don’t see Black people quote andrea long chu talking about how enslaved Black women were degendered so we shouldn’t have gender (this is a very ungenerous reading of that chapter but i fucking hated reading it so)

You can be as ungenerous with Andrea Chu as you like. Porn has clearly eroded the part of the brain where thinking should happen.

Exactly! Black trans women don't do this. The first time I saw a white trans woman talk about Black women and bone thickness, it was then and there I knew there was no kinship, or understanding because that behaviour would be impossible to do to someone you say is just like you. The mantras are clearly just performative nonsense to curry favour with us without the follow through or effort.

Many white people struggle to see humanity in Black people and often revert to civilised Vs savage dynamics when they claim solidarity or connection. They don't see equals or people but a simple crude opposite.

Everything I've seen white trans women say is transphobic, colonialist and creepy to say when it comes to talking about human bodies they do it to Black women. They bring up my foremothers with an "lol" as if they aren't talking about a person that lived. Even with how you see many white queer and white trans people talk about gender, even when they treat it as racialisation, it's obvious they view themselves at the top and Blackness as the worst thing you can be.

The more insecure the white trans woman is about beauty the more they love bringing up Black women. It's clear they're trying to make themselves feel better by essentially doing "they let the n*ggers be women" it's not sisterhood but contempt for Blackness. We're not people but dehumanisation given human form so they struggle to see how their behaviour is racist and cast misogynoir as what we are instead of a way we're oppressed. We are our oppression and nothing more.

The amount of masc Black women in spaces with these people who have said even though they're short, round faced and small, all these people who say they know better treat them as if they're 7ft tall. It's like the white person that clutches their bag when a Black person walks past and we're meant to pretend we don't see it as if the trans people that pay with their lives aren't largely poor, Black and in the sex industry not white suburbanites that don't leave their house.

Everyone understands when men say " they don't feel like a man " isn't a statement about traness or not being men but gender roles, expectations and being treated differently than everyone else but when Black women do it everyone ( including some Black women auditioning for America's/ Britain's etc next ally ) acts stupid and mass affirms the race essentialist idea of Black women.

If solidarity includes my othering so someone else can feel better about themselves, I don't want it. I don't do this shit for Black men who I'm actually related to so the expectation I'd do it for anyone white is crazy. One day they will have to address why so many of them repeat bio essentialism about Black women but considering how aggressive it got to get white gay men to stop their " I have an inner black woman" we're going to have to make people cry because I'm sick or the primary context enslaved Black women get brought up on social media now is for a white person to talk about their gender and not slavery.

So many of them struggle with the fact that even with our dehumanisation most Black women view ourselves as normal women and they don't. I wish I could remember which academic spoke about white people seeing Blackness as anti-social because that's part of it.

[gameclam]

I dont know if this is too vague but Headcanons on Freemind and Barmey that don't have a specific topic? Like Fears or random stuff they did as kids?

Hmm a little vague but I think i can work with it. Freemind's is way longer bc i have more specific headcanons for him

Barmey's misc. Headcanons

Used to be a pageant kid ages like 5-8, was ruthlessly mean to other kids.

Lived in a trailer in a shitty small town in arizona

has a southern accent but hides it bc he was made fun of for it by his best friend when he was like 11 and so he 'socially engineered' a new one, this is why in barney's mind his voice is so much more different than canon barney. he DOES still have it but doesn't use it, his voice is a lot deeper than you'd expect.

Is half Vietnamese and can speak vietnamese but hasn't had much traditional dishes bc his Mom hated cooking and his dad was white and half the time they just gave him stuff that was easy (microwavable/sandwiches/etc) so whenever his ba ngoai was over- which wasn't very often, he refused to eat her food bc he didn't wanna try new things

Because of his lack of trying new things Barmey cannot handle his spice that well. He LIKES spicy food but it hurts him bc he never built up a tolerance.

Barmey has BPD

Autistic + Adhd king

Barmey might seem like an idiot but he's very knowledgeable in certain things; Medical stuff, Geology and identifying rocks/gems, AC repairing, Riddles, Plant Care, and of course Planes

Lowkey psychic but only sometimes

Scared of Moths when they're flying

Lowkey claustrophobic, used to be worse with it though but has since gotten LESS claustrophobic

Decides if he likes and or hates someone purely off vibes alone, whether or not he has ever even talked to him

Has a very bad habit of letting people borrow money from him (Actually canon but i just think it's funny)

His favorite color is purple

He's a 'parkour king' (lie)

Worst liar you've ever seen.

If you dared him to eat a worm he would do it. No matter the age

As soon as a camera is recording he is horribly annoying bc he has to be in the spotlight at all times. kept this trait since childhood

Freemind Random Facts:

The name he almost went with instead of Gordon was Gilbert. In AU's where they all know eachother/live in the same area Freemind will go by Gil, or Freemind if they know they're dopplegangers. The name is inspired by the Gilbert Uranium labs bc he wants one

Scared of cockroaches but the fear manifests into blood lust rage. Would scream if one flew at him though, Is NOT scared of most other bugs But he DOES get jumpscared by spiders sometimes

Maladaptive day dreamer

Has NPD (unaware) and also has OCD and like 100 other things (unaware) Autistic + adhd king (unaware, listen... he's got no idea)

He is INCREDIBLY flexible because he has EDS. He is unaware of this

Has Tritanomaly (Milder form of Tritanopia, basically he's partially colorblind to blue's/greens) He has no idea of this though. This is partly why he wears so much red bc he can see it better

He used to be considered legally blind bc the glasses he can get from regular places do not correct his vision enough. HOWEVER Black Mesa tested out a special type of lens that is not currently available publicly that corrects his vision just enough that he can legally drive and is no longer legally blind. (this is so i dont have to explain why he can drive. we love fictional worlds where i can just make things up)

He's partially deaf in both ears, he is unaware of this because it's not too bad. 99% of this is because of the many times he's shot a gun in a small area with no protection

Is very bad at flirting with women. most of the girlfriends he's had started flirting with HIM first because he has no idea how to talk to girls. When he tries to flirt with girls he is incredibly awkward about it. Is "Better" At flirting with men when he knows he's bisexual. This is only sometimes true

he can force his body into very small locations that by all means he should not fit in. He tried to convince Barmey it's because physicists get super powers when they graduate. Barmey didn't believe this and knew Freemind was trying to trick him but sometimes he wonders...

Is very bad at showing affection. The best ways he knows how to show affection is by being in the same room as you or maybe handing you an item that you enjoy

Another way he accidentally shows affection or respect for someone is when he refuses to let you do something for him he'd normally be ok with anyone ever doing for him

Will convince himself that he could survive ANY scenario you put in front of him. even if it's literally impossible

Is a squirrel man (every place he's ever lived in he puts holes in the walls with intricate pass codes to hide things.) He claims he never forgets where the holes are (lie)

Despite it all he is incredibly soft with animals but especially cats. He feeds the strays. Once he's done being pissed at them he'd probably end up liking the houndeye's

Is an incredibly good chef but doesn't cook very often bc he doesn't want to.

Is unable to feel hungry most of the time, Because of this this moron could go a full week without eating and wouldn't even notice that he's hungry.

has opinions on things that have never happened and will never happen

Is allergic to most dish soap and hates doing the dishes bc he hates how it sounds and feels

Is able to walk and do entire puzzles and hold entire conversations without knowing he's doing anything the entire time because he's in his head so much (canon technically but this extends to normal life as well)

Is terrible at Riddles bc he over thinks them and thinks of them to literally

[kittylaboo]

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad  

 TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ 

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him 

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott 

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck. 

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened 

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety 

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race 

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive 

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water. 

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks 

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods 

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her 

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t 

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later 

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown 

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.”

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much 

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am” 

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.” 

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[formulatrash]

What are your thoughts on fanfic writing in the f1 fandom? I am pretty sure I saw you tweet about it at some point something small but I was too scared to interact with you on it over at twitter :D

So, this is a hotter topic than I’d really like it to be on my Tumblr and it’s my own fault but. Here we go.

RPF has some questionable ethics and some even more questionable origins. I’m ancient enough that it just used to get straight-up published as a ‘5 minute fantasy’ in young women and girls’ magazines where you’d get like, some 15 year old’s daydream about meeting a boyband member on holiday and falling in love and this was for some reason just treated as an absolutely normal bit of publishing not like ‘what the hell, that would be illegal’ and ‘why is this the fantasy we are encouraging girls to have as an ambition when it comes to sports or even pop success’ and y’know. 

Anyway, the 90s: really can’t emphasise enough how fucking weird having only a few sources to get your media from makes them.

Back to RPF; its roots are in political obscenity, if you want to talk about the bawdy stuff. The French Revolution, in particularly, wrote lots of erotica (the kinkier the better) about the royal family as part of refusing to acknowledge their divine rights under the church. It was an anarchical refusal to accept the situation as it was and to undermine it. 

Beyond that you’ve got historical fiction - Thucydides was all about working up a really good narrative take* on the Peloponnesian war back in the fifth century BC. Extra scenes, big dialogue, you know. If he’d known about self-lubricating buttholes then you BET Herodotus would have put them in the Histories.

Point is: writing fiction about real people isn’t really that weird, Shakespeare did a load of it. But we tend to problematise RPF and consider it strange, even amongst fanfiction.

Now, to 21st century sports and specifically F1. We speak here on Tumblr dot com, the audience where F1 fans skew most largely LGBT, non-cis and female or non binary rather than every other platform which is full of cis het men. Here is where we talk about fanfic. Because they don’t know we’re here, I assume, is the logic.

(they kinda don’t, to be fair)

Most of us do not see ourselves in sports. Most sports media is not aimed at the way that a lot of us were socialised to engage with stuff and most of us - lucky buggers like me aside - do not get to write the narratives of the way sport is engaged with or talked about or who does it. 

A lot of us who live here on god’s abandoned internet have drifted in and out of fandoms and a lot of that will have involved engaging with fanfiction. Fanfiction is a really fun sandbox to play in, as an adult - we get told to stop playing, as we grow up and it’s no surprise that we still want to. 

There’s a six monthly cycle of some AAA game that asks the question “is shooting people bad?” that prompts 10 broadsheet newspaper pieces on Videogames: Not Just For Kids Anymore (and sub in comics/superheroes/etc for games there) that makes everyone who knows that roll their eyes. Games and comics and superheroes are big, legitimised industries now that turnover hundreds of billions of dollars.

Fanfiction is an outlier, as the purest form of play in a lot of senses. Unfettered, it’s the democratic media platform; there’s no minimum standard for publishing, there’s no real limits beyond your own ethics on what you can publish. it doesn’t turn a profit, by its very definition and it allows lots of games and versions of itself within that. 

For something with a ludicrously broad definition that encapsulates hugely different types of works, it has defined forms; from drabbles to wingfic, as structural formats, we also recognise fluff or hurt/comfort as genre. Fanfiction isn’t really the thing itself, it’s the bookshop and what you find in it will vary on where you look and often, the advice of the bookseller or friends you speak to.

If you’ve enjoyed wandering that bookstore and adding to its shelves as part of the way you engage with media and then you come to a sports fandom? Well, you’re gonna look for the fic. If you don’t see yourself in the sport, as a woman or a queer person then you can write yourself in. It’s sad that we sideline the fantasies where we exist - given they’re entirely normal to have - into places where we jealously guard them away from the reality we daren’t intrude on but that is how it is.

And fuck: if your whole reason for liking F1 is cus you wanna marry a driver and you’re writing those 15 minute fantasies about them like you’re 15 and they’re a poster then it’s not doing any harm - it’s a lot healthier than stalking them. You might even work out what you really want or more things about yourself, in the process.

(if it’s ‘to marry an F1 driver’ then I suggest you take some boring swimwear snaps somewhere that looks expensive, stick ‘em on Insta and wait for the DM slide)

One of the things I like best in fanfic is the possibility of a queer narrative without complications, of telling queer stories without having to justify them as Issues, of letting us see ourselves and our own awakenings because fuck, you know the big book shop (if such things still exist) has one shelf of expensive, niche published novels you find difficult to related to and three sex ed books.

F1 fanfic was one of the ways I wandered back to the F1 fandom and one of the reasons I work in the industry now. It was enough of an in to make me want to really think, to have that new crush energy of obsession and enjoyment, about motorsport in a way I’d drifted away from as I felt sidelined from the sport through my early-to-mid 20s. I found brocedes much more compelling, as an interpretation and a way of processing the intense rivalry between Lewis and Nico - even knowing it was fictional conjecture - than I did the equally fictional conjecture about their psychological states and potential weaknesses published in the sports papers.

So, yes, I have read some excellent Formula 1 RPF. I have written some frankly mediocre and in retrospect very poorly edited F1 RPF that I posted to Twitter in a drunken moment of excitement because I was happy I’d finished it and forgot, idk. I have a tricky relationship to being a Notable Person I guess, I hadn’t intended any harm and was mostly worried I’d get flack from the industry. Lol. Anyway, only saying it cus like; this isn’t just me talking about things theoretically.

There’s a lot of F1 RPF that is more insightful than a lot of columns about ‘inside the drivers’ minds’ working off very little more than the RPF is.

Some of it, I won’t lie, I find really fucking weird but I guess like, that ain’t for me. There are a lot of problems with RPF - it’s too male, too frequently misogynist, too keen to reinforce homophobic ideas, too often white and blonde, not radical enough but those issues are for the advanced class rather than the 101 overview I was aiming for here and go well beyond F1 or RPF.

Shit I should be writing the weather report. Fuck. I’m the worst. Err, there you go, that’s a whole thing.

(I don’t read very much - I am busy af - but occasionally and especially on long haul flights when the idea of anything other than soothing is impossible)

*Actually tbh Thucydides couldn’t write for fuck but it was early and you know how when a tag’s young you’ll read a lot of mediocre stuff?

[theshinsun]

KNB for the fandom ask thing if you’d like to!!

(sorry this took forever, work was crazy this week ;;-;;)

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with:

Kagami. (I know, right?) I started watching the show when I saw the way he was drawn, and came to really love his character throughout seasons 1 and 2. 

Side note: I really only fell in love with Aomine once I saw how he looked in the manga, and got more into his backstory in late season 2/early season 3. 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Idk I used to like, unironically like Himuro, and subscribe to canon’s endgame portrayal of him as a harmless nice guy (with no personality to speak of). Now I like him, but like... only in the sense that he can be used narratively, and to comedic effect. I also still like his play style, but I don’t like him like, as a person.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

I don’t really wanna bash any ship in this show, since the characters are loose (read: underdeveloped) enough for their actual ship dynamics to kinda be up for interpretation. 

The one example I can think of, though, for a ship I used to enjoy that now kinda bothers me, is KiKasa. I just don’t see much genuine affection between these two, and yeah I get that people show their love in different ways and all that, and there is definitely something there to work with if you read between the lines, but still... I dunno in canon it mostly seems one-sided at best and antagonistic at worst to me.

my ultimate favorite character™:

...C’mon, you know who it is. The number one spot has to go to Aomine, every time. Someday I’ll write a whole in-depth character study to explain why, but if you want the thesis statement, it’s this: Aomine is the most interesting, developed and multi-faceted character in the entire series, and you can fight me on that.

prettiest character:

If we’re talking manga, then Aomine, but since he looks like a raisin in the anime, I have to give the award to Midorima, with Mibuchi coming in a close second.

my most hated character:

Heh. Uh... funny story, it used to be Hanamiya, or possibly Haizaki, but now I think my hatred for Akashi has actually surpassed them both, because we’re meant to dislike them so at least they serve their most basic function. Whereas Akashi’s arc is so forced and anticlimactic it’s infuriating, and that’s before even getting into his personality.  

my OTP:

You know what, it’s still AoKaga. After six fucking years, they still have my heart. If I can bend the rules and slip in an OT3, I’d say AoKagaKuro, but otherwise, if I had to pick one ship, it’s those two idiots with their rival dynamic, interesting chemistry and essential narrative function of pushing each other to get better. 

my NOTP:

Like I said, I don’t want to bash any ship, but if I have to pick one that just grinds my gears, it’s AkaKuro. I just... don’t get it. I mean, I get it, I know why it exists, but I don’t get it, you know? 

...I dunno, if that’s your cup of tea, more power to ya, but I personally don’t ship it and I don’t think I’m ever going to. 

favorite episode:

Episode 37: I Look Forward To It. 

Ah, the onsen episode... I know this one by heart. 

Okay, I guess I should explain myself, because on the surface this looks like pure empty fan-service (on both sides), but this episode actually has some really great character and plot-related moments. It’s the part I always jump back into when I re-read the manga, because it’s where things really start to kick off. Seirin’s been beaten down and hopeless and finally have their chance at revenge, and they find out in this episode that they’re going to be getting it right away. There’s some really great Seirin and Touou bonding, some more evidence of Momoi being a data-gathering badass (though her actual appearance in this ep bombs the Bechdel test and kinda just rubs me the wrong way). 

My favorite part, though, is Aomine and Kuroko’s confrontation in the bath house. I’ve heard someone say once (and I agree) that this episode shows a whole team of naked men (and two naked women) and yet the scene with the most sexual tension has everyone fully clothed. It’s also just a super emotionally-charged moment, full of saying things without saying them, and Kagami showing up to declare Seirin’s intentions of victory is the cherry on top. I love this episode, I’ve probably watched it about a hundred times, but I’d gladly watch it a hundred more and that tells me it’s my favorite.  

saddest death:

Himuro’s character development. I mean uh... Kiyoshi’s leg breaking, yeah, that’s totally it. Actually, him leaving at the end of season 3 is really sad, we don’t get many third years retiring in this show but that hit just as hard.

favorite season:

Season 2. It’s where the show kicks into high gear, and the plot really gets rolling. It’s well-paced and exciting up until the middle of the Yousen game, and shows so much awesome development for the characters it introduced in the previous season. Everyone gets some new abilities, but my favorite reveals have to be Kuroko’s Vanishing Drive and Overflow (that moment when Izuki gets “erased” in the Seirin/Touou game lives in my head rent free), and of course the Zone. Season 1 is nice and season 3 has some really iconic moments, but season 2 is great from start to (almost) finish, and that makes it the strongest of the bunch.

least favorite season:

As I said, it has some iconic moments, but KNB’s weakest season by far is its finale. For one thing, it focuses almost entirely on a single game, and so that game drags on forever, beyond the realm of enjoyment until it becomes tedious to get through. Besides that, though, it goes out of its way to introduce plot threads and characters that don’t really go anywhere (Haizaki and Ogiwara come to mind...) the animation budget takes a noticeable beating, and so do the trajectories of two of Season 2′s most interesting antagonists (Himuro and Akashi). The main saving grace of this season is the Teiko arc, but, enjoyable as it is, under a critical eye it’s still a lengthy, pretty unnecessary detour that stops the main narrative dead in its tracks and all but kills the tension for the final game.  

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

Would it be gratuitous to say Akashi, at this point? It’s funny, because I never really liked him, and didn’t understand why so many people did, but I never had any strong opinions about him until recently, when I started looking at his character up close bc I’ve run out of reasons not to. Again, if you like him, that’s totally fine, but I just can’t agree.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

Uhh... Imayoshi, I think. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I love him so much. He’s a shit, and he knows it, but he’s also smart, and funny, and kind of just a big dork? Severely underrated character, with a really unique look (I don’t care if he doesn’t have eyes except when he’s pissed, it’s good character design, you guys are just mean). 

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

Oh, Kuroko... sidelined in your own damn show. I’ve heard people argue that Kuroko is not the protagonist of KNB, and in fact it’s Kagami, and just... whether that’s true or not technically, it just makes me sad for Kuroko bc once again he’s being overlooked in favor of other, more flashy characters on screen. Maybe that’s the point, but still, I don’t see this guy get nearly enough attention considering his name is in the fucking title. Kuroko is every bit as valid and interesting as the other GoM, and the other members of Seirin, often even more so, and he deserves all the love.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

Pretty much anything with Haizaki, but because this is me we’re talking about... AoHai. I used to be interested purely from a hatefucking standpoint, but recently I’ve seen some art and short little ficlets, and... have started to maybe ship it... unironically? Um. Yeah, so that happened.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

KiKuro. I don’t think I’ve really talked about them before, I love their backstory and dynamic, and I tend to write them together off on the sidelines, but I’m not very passionate about this one. Maybe because it is often used as a background ship, maybe because they both work better with other people (side tangent: their dynamic instantly becomes more interesting the second you throw a third person in the mix... doesn’t matter who it is either, KiKuroKaga? AoKiKuro? KiKuroMomo? I could go on) Idk. It’s sweet, but I don’t often give this pairing a whole lot of thought on its own, maybe I ought to...

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home (14)-[CONVERTED]

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In  the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their   Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount   Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El   finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of   her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so   terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

A/N: this doesn’t count as writing, bc i didn’t write it im just converting shshshs. plus im falling more and more in love with Kara each week. also, i’m redoing my masterlist since i changed my url and none of the links work so. 

There were numbers for everything and everyone that Y/N Hastings could possible need, including three theaters, on her new phone.

There was also Angry Birds, which she was perfectly willing to blame for the fact that it took her an hour and a half to text Kara back after her “Good morning :)” message. It felt a little strange, when she realized it, that she didn’t feel panicked as she normally did when she took so long to do something. But that was probably because when she texted back a hello and an apology (blaming the game) for being delayed, all she got back was another smiley, and a cheerful “Hope you’re having fun!” What little uncertainty Y/N had vanished with that response, replaced with a warm feeling that maybe, just maybe, sometimes it was okay to do things on her own time.

But now, the game aside, Y/N sat staring at her contacts list, or, more importantly, at those three theater numbers. Her thumb settled over one, labeled National City Playhouse, and she pressed it, then the call button.

Two rings, then, “National City Playhouse?”

Y/N hung up.

She tried the next number. And hung up as soon as they answered.

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch in Nia’s living room, where she’d been lounging around, and began to pace the floor. Miss Kara had done so much for her, Y/N thought. She wanted to do something in return, and not only that but she wanted to see her again. It had been two days since she’d seen Miss Kara. She’d told Y/N she had to do some travelling for SETS, a seminar she needed to attend. And though Y/N knew Miss Kara had a job to do, it didn’t stop her from feeling a little lost in her absence. Y/N had spent the time watching television and going to her therapies at the House. She’d talk to Nia in the evenings when they had dinner, but as much as they shared in common, it still wasn’t the same as being with Miss Kara. Y/N had yet to venture back out into town, even though Nia had let it slip that they were running low on food supplies. That had made Y/N feel guilty, even as Nia had hastened to explain that she was just trying to help Y/N go out, not that she blamed her for anything.

The one bright spot had been last night’s phone call before bed; Kara had called her to let her know she’d be home the following day, finally. Y/N had lain in her bed with the cell phone pressed to her ear, smiling at Kara’s quiet questions. Had she been taking care of herself? Had she been eating enough? Was Nia being good to her? Did she talk anymore to Maggie? And then her gentle laughter when Y/N had turned the questions back on her. Both of them had reassured the other that yes, they were taking care of themselves… and yes, they missed each other.

So Y/N wanted to do something when Kara came back the next day, to show her that she had missed her, and that she was glad she’d come home. And she knew Kara loved the theater, so…

It was time for her to plan a date. But there would be no planning, and no date, if Y/N couldn’t even talk to a stranger on the other end of the line.

She stared once more at the phone, before selecting a number, and dialing.

“Hey, little Y/N, what’s up?” There was some shuffling, then Ask her if she’s okay in the background, and Y/N smiled. “You okay?”

“I’m all right, but I do need your help.”

“Ooh, if it’s help you need, I’m your girl. Toilet stopped up? Creepy attic needing exploring? Any assholes from a former life that maybe need tracking down and—“

“Maggie Sawyer-Danvers.”

That was Alex, and Y/N giggled.

“Sorry, Ma’am. Really though, Y/N, what’s up?”

“I need to know about theaters in National City.”

“… Ma’am? I think you better take this one.” She could hear Alex chuckling, then a sound as if Maggie’s phone was put on speaker. “I don’t know anything about the theaters except Ma’am and I went with Kara a couple times, like I told you. I never pay attention to what’s showing; I just know that we have to get front row seats because Kara gets cranky if someone tall sits in front of her.”

“She could always sit on my lap if that happens.” The words were out before she could even think, and Y/N clamped her mouth shut. Stupid, she told herself. Stupid, stupid, she’s not even your Mistress.

There was a pause, and then Alex’s voice came over the phone, dry and amused. “She could indeed. Y/N, why the sudden interest in theaters? She didn’t put numbers in your phone, did she?”

“Yes?”

“Ah, as she did when she picked up mine one day. Sneaky girl, our Kara.”

Y/N turned pink at “our,” and said quickly, “I want to take her on a date. To the theater. But I.. I don’t…” She trailed off.

How did you tell a Dominant – a female Dominant – that you didn’t know how to do something? Those words had never been good for her; they’d never gotten her anything more but a slap and a disgusted “Well you’d better learn.” But there wasn’t really any way for her to learn; Sir didn’t allow her on the internet and it wasn’t like she could call up her mother and father to ask them. That would have been awkward enough if all contact with them hadn’t been virtually cut off the minute she turned sixteen.

Russell and Judy Hastings had also been an arranged claim. Their pairing, however, had been a little later than Y/N’s; Russell Hastings had wanted to establish himself in the business world first, as his father had done before him, and so he finally claimed Judy when he was twenty-three. By all accounts theirs was a good match, at least in public. Judy was classy and graceful; Russell stern and proud, always ready with a smile and a glass in his hand. When Y/N was born, she was paraded in the parties and in town as the product of how “old society” worked, and was better. She was the perfect example of arranged claims done right.

But away from the parties, Y/N had grown up as a shy little girl in the stifling air of the Hastings household. Her father was loving and firm with his submissive when they were out of the public eye, but in the privacy of their home, he was indifferent at best, and cold at the worst. Judy drowned her sorrows in the alcohol that her husband kept readily available for his clients, and Y/N was fairly certain her mother suffered for that transgression once the bedroom doors were closed.  But in the mornings her mother would put on a brave face, even as she moved a little stiffly, and told Y/N how wonderful it would be when she was in the arms of her own Sir.

Y/N had doubted it, and now, she knew her instincts had been right.

James had gradually taken away her contact with her parents; she had initially called them once every few days to catch up, though her father would immediately hand the phone to her mother after a few cursory pleasantries, and her mother always seemed to be in a hurry to fix dinner, or get to a social gathering, or anything that would let her hang up the phone as quickly as possible. But Y/N needed to call, needed that last tenuous hold on the life she’d left behind, even if it had been less than ideal. James, however, seemed to have different ideas, and every weekend or holiday she was to spend with her parents, something always came up and she was to remain at home. Finally, the opportunities to see them had just faded away… and her parents never made the effort.

The last time she tried to call was that night.

“You don’t know how to set it up.”

Y/N turned her attention back to Alex, whose voice was soft and understanding. She nodded, and then rolled her eyes. She wouldn’t be able to see that.

“Yes. I mean no, no, I don’t. Can you… help me?”

She felt the panic rising up within her, and Y/N clenched her hand, not holding the phone, against the heat that began to course down her upper arms, the signal that she knew all too well. Her jaw was tight and she clutched hard to the phone with her other hand, waiting for what she knew would inevitably come. Because it always came: derision, laughter, irritation, anger.

“Of course I can help you.”

Y/N blinked. Well, that was unexpected. “You can?” she said, wanting to be sure. Maybe it was a trick, some kind of trap designed to lure her into a false sense of security.

“As I said, of course I can. Why don’t you and I meet somewhere and we can discuss options?”

And there it was. The snare, the net, the cage. Maybe she was one of those Dominants that wanted another pet; Si- James had often hinted that he wanted another, someone who was “easier to live with.” Then again, he’d also told Y/N that she could be replaced. She felt that familiar dread within her, that waking moment when she’d lay in bed and wonder was this it, the day she’d be out on the street with nothing and no one to protect her?

It was strange, Y/N thought briefly, as she began to stutter out her objections, that in the end, she had walked into the street with nothing, and no one to protect her.

“N-no, that’s all right, I’ll figure it out, I-I’ll just call and ask and m-maybe the theater people will—“

“Hey, little Y/N,” Maggie interrupted. “Do you like ice cream?”

Y/N furrowed her brow. “Yes?”

“Cool, so do I. And Ma’am promised I could have ice cream after I finally learned that Fiddler On the Roof isn’t a metal album. Hey, maybe I do know something about musicals. Anyway, why don’t we go get some ice cream? You, me, Ma’am? In the park? Public place, and we can talk about these big plans you have to sweep Kara off her feet.”

“I don’t know…” Y/N said slowly.

“It’s a public park, Y/N,” Alex responded gently. “There are usually quite a lot of people around this time of day, and I assure you that neither Maggie nor I will keep you from going home if you want to. Also ice cream cones.”

“Ice cream is good,” Y/N found herself giggling. She took a deep breath. Could she trust her? She’d been with Maggie and that was nice, but… Maggie was submissive too. She could probably do whatever she wanted to Y/N just as easily as Alex, but…

“What time do you want to meet?”

The taxi this time was easier, especially since Y/N remembered to pay the driver, and accept her change back. That didn’t extend to her actually conversing with him on the ride over to the park; he’d given up after the first five questions were met with just a stare. She probably was being rude to him, Y/N knew, but she didn’t know him, and he wasn’t Miss Kara, so she wasn’t obligated to answer him.

It was strange, being out and about in National City. Y/N had grown up here, had spent her entire life here, and yet she didn’t even know the city. She looked around the park; not seeing Alex or Maggie yet, she sat on a bench nearest the pond, feeling a little nervous. She smiled at the children who darted this way and that, playing ball and yelling back and forth to each other. What would their lives be like in a few years, she wondered. Would they be bent and broken, as she was, or would they stand straight and (fairly, if she was wearing heels) tall like Miss Kara? Their parents, those were the ones that gave Y/N the most pause. It was interesting that she couldn’t really pick up on who was in their respective roles: the man who ran his fingers through the woman’s hair as she rested her head on his lap, reading from a book; the woman who gripped another’s hand tightly as they walked along the periphery of the pond, both of them smiling warmly at Y/N as they passed. She returned the smile, only to have it fade as a man passed by her with a curt nod. She shivered a little.

It had taken her a couple of days to stop looking over her shoulder. The day she’d been brought to the House, after the hospital had released her, two people employed by the council had come to see her. They’d sat as Kara had, trying to ask her questions, trying to force her to answer, thinking if they spoke louder the answers would come. They hadn’t, and when Nia had seen Y/N’s arms wrapped around herself, the girl shaking violently in her chair, she’d sent them away. They meant well, Y/N knew, in spite of everything, but she thought they’d have sent her back to Him. After that, every new person who had come into the House she was convinced had been sent by Him. Every time the phone rang, she was sure it was Him, calling to have her brought home.

It had taken days for her to realize that she wasn’t going back. And even longer for her to realize that he was no longer Him. Every time she had thought of him in the past, each day that she rose and slept again under the rules that he had established, every detail that she had gotten wrong no matter how hard she tried, every blow of the whip that he kept stowed in a trunk in the bedroom, he had always been mentally capitalized, the God of His home and of her life. He was Sir and she was… words that stuck in her throat and hurt her chest. He was Lord and Master and she was little, and only now with Kara’s quiet “little one” uttered with affection, or Maggie’s “little Y/N” offered with a smirk and a wink, was Y/N realizing that that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He was him, and she… she was Y/N.

She heard her name, then, and she glanced up to see Maggie headed her way with Alex following beside. She flexed her fingers in and out, and jumped a little when her phone vibrated, signifying a text. She quickly opened it.

I bought you a present! I can’t wait to give it to you!

It made her feel a little guilty, amid the excitement of a present from Miss Kara. She’d already given Y/N so much… but the date, Y/N thought as she stood up to greet Maggie. The date would be her way of saying thank you.

“Hey, Y/N,” Maggie said easily. She grinned and nudged her a little. “Look at you, no chair. That’s awesome.”

Y/N blushed a little. “I-I still can’t walk for long periods of time, I might have to sit down…”

“Then sit down we will,” Alex said with a smile. “You look positively radiant, Y/N. Please wear green all the time, it ma—“

“Matches my eyes, I know,” Y/N said, and then froze. Oh no, she’d interrupted her. Would he be angry? Please don’t yell at me, she thought, as she added hastily, “Miss Kara said that, she picked out a lot of green things for me to choose from while we were shopping…”

If it was possible, Alex’s smile only grew wider as she surveyed Y/N in her light green dress, the small hair clip holding back one side of her hair. “It’s good to see that Kara has taste in clothes, or, well, someone else’s, at least.” She must’ve seen Y/N’s eyes flash because he laughed, throwing his head back. “I’m teasing, I promise. Kara’s style is unique, and completely her own.”

“I’m still not sure that’s a compliment,” Y/N muttered, but she was so relieved that Alex wasn’t angry at her that she decided to let it go.

“Shall we walk?” Alex said, offering her arm to Y/N, Maggie taking her place on her other side. When she started to walk without accepting it, she pulled some brochures out of his back pocket without missing a beat. “I brought the brochures for the theaters that you have in your phone; it has lists of everything that’s playing this year. We should be able to decide on what Kara would most like to see, using these.”

Y/N nodded. “Thank you. So you think she’d… she’d like to go to the theater with me?”

Alex looked at her; once again her eyes were kind. “My dear Y/N, I think Kara would be over the moon just to stand in the same room as you.”

“You’re such a sap, Ma’am,” Maggie groaned. “Let me translate for you, Y/N: she’ll love it. Not because it’s the theater, but because it’s the theater with you.”

“Now who’s the sap?” Alex said, sticking her tongue out at her sub. “I’ve rubbed off on you.”

“Oh, I’d like you t—“

“So, those brochures?” Y/N held out her hand, and Alex gave them to her with a wink. It didn’t unsettle her as much as it should have; she wasn’t worried about what people would think as she walked through the park flanked by two women. If anything, it gave her even more protection; even in a progressive society like National City, women were treated with far more deference than men, and so most people wouldn’t have thought twice about Y/N walking with Maggie and Alex. And besides, there was always that casual, exciting dance of the unclaimed waiting to be claimed, a world of first glances and smiles, first kisses and first dates. All leading up to that blissful moment of knowing someone was yours, and you were theirs. No doubt if anyone did look twice at Y/N, they’d think her extremely lucky, to either have two subs, or be one of two.

“I don’t… know what all of these are,” Y/N confessed quietly, staring down at the lists of show names she held in her hands. “I don’t know if Miss Kara would like any of them…”

“As I said, I think she’ll be quite happy with anything you choose, simply because you are the one who did the choosing. But might I make a suggestion?” Alex asked.

Y/N nodded, and Alex pointed to one of the names in the brochure.

“Wicked?” She’d heard of it, Y/N thought, a long time ago when she was still at home. Something about it being the new big thing. Maybe it had been on the news that she’d watched while keeping an eye on Judy, passed out drunk on the sofa.

“One of Kara’s favorites. It’s a pity Funny Girl isn’t on tour at the moment, but perhaps one day you two can go to New York and see it. Wicked is a good introduction to the world of musicals, and something Kara knows far too much about, and she’ll be only too willing to share every single tiny detail with you until you are absolutely bored with it.”

“I don’t think I could ever be bored listening to her talk,” Y/N said softly, her head reeling. Wicked… Funny Girl… New York? Would she ever get to go to New York… one day? And with Miss Kara? Alex seemed to think so. Y/N blinked, realizing she had been staring at her with wide eyes.

“Now all that’s needed is for you to call,” Alex pointed out. Her smile to her was confident, reassuring.

Y/N paused for a moment, then pulled out her phone and dialed.

“National City Playhouse?”

She took a deep breath. “I’d like to reserve two tickets for a show, please.” She didn’t have a credit card, but Alex waved his at her, nodding when she promised to pay him back.

Minutes later she hung up the phone, giggling a little when Alex and Maggie whooped in triumph, clapping their hands. She’d done it. She’d just set up a date for herself and Miss Kara. It made her stand up a little straighter, walk a little better. She couldn’t wait until Miss Kara found out what she’d done.

“Maggie,” Alex said suddenly, leaning slightly across her to address her submissive. “Are you feeling well, pet? You’ve completely let us forget about the ice cream.”

“I didn’t forget, Ma’am,” Maggie said with a shrug. “But it seemed like working out the musicals thing for Kara and Y/N was more important.”

“Hmm,” Alex hummed. “I might just have to take your temperature when we get home.” Y/N saw Maggie roll her eyes; luckily Alex grinned. “Why don’t you go get ice cream for us while Y/N and I talk?” Y/N tensed, wanting to grab onto Maggie, but she was already moving away.

“What kind of ice cream do you want, Y/N?” he asked.

“I-I… vanilla,” Y/N said, and Maggie quirked an eyebrow as she walked off, backwards.

“Huh, nobody around here really likes vanilla. But okay, back in a second, Ma’am!”

She turned around, and Y/N was left alone with Maggie’s dominant. Her hands shook a little.

Alex regarded her carefully. “Public park, Y/N,” she reminded her, but there was no trace of anger or frustration in her voice. “We’re just two friends, two good friends – two best friends, you’ll get that after you see the show – who are walking and talking. That’s all, and you’re free to go whenever you like.”

Y/N hesitated, still watching after Maggie, before nodding. “All right.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Y/N felt herself growing tired. She’d been on her feet since Maggie and Alex had arrived, and now she was feeling the strain. “I think I need to sit down…”

“Of course.” Alex led her back over to the bench she’d sat on earlier, and then sat down beside her.  She was quiet, and then said, “Kara seems to be quite taken with you.”

Y/N smiled a little. “I’m… quite taken with Miss Kara.”

“I believe one can see that easily by the way your eyes light up when you say her name,” Alex said with a smile, but her next words were serious. “I worry about Kara.”

“W-worry? Why?”

“Kara is a very strong person,” Alex said, looking as if she was choosing her words as wisely as she could. “She’s had to be, with her father’s illness, and her biological mother toying with her feelings the way she did. But she’s also very susceptible to hurt and becoming overwhelmed with her emotions. Luckily she had Lena to help with—oh but you don’t know about Lena…” Alex stopped, looking suddenly annoyed with herself.

“I do, actually,” Y/N said. “Miss Kara told me about her. That Lena trained her, and that they were… lovers.”

“Were,” Alex reiterated, relief on her face that she hadn’t told Kara’s secret. “But yes, Lena helped her with that, but sometimes Kara still wants everything too much and she’s easily… hurt. I don’t want to see that happen to her.”

“I-I don’t want that to happen either.” There was a sick feeling in the pit of Y/N’s stomach. Was she going to take Kara away from her? Forbid Kara to see her, or forbid her to see Kara? She wouldn’t let her do that, Y/N suddenly decided. She wasn’t going to tell her that she couldn’t see her Miss Kara.

Her Miss Kara…

“I’d do anything to keep from hurting her.”

“I don’t want to see you hurt either,” Alex said, and Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “Not that I think Kara would consciously hurt you, but you’ve been through so much, Y/N. Things that no one ever deserves to go through, and if I could find him right now and punch him without messing up my hair I would.” Y/N snorted in spite of herself, and Alex grinned at her.

“Both of you deserve much happiness, and if it’s meant to be the two of you together, then it’s meant to be. But Y/N, please be careful, for Kara’s sake and yours. You’re only just discovering what you want, and there’s so much of the world for you and Kara to find separately and together before you jump into something that has the potential to hurt you both.”

Y/N nodded slowly. “I-I know,” she said.

“And listen; if you two do end up together please… tell her argyle gives you headaches. Or that you’re allergic to bows. Something. Anything. I’m begging you.”

She couldn’t help but laugh then, and Alex joined her, as Maggie came up with the ice creams and a confused look. She felt easy, light, as they sat together on a bench at a public park in National City, listening to the birds and enjoying ice cream cones.

She felt free.

And she couldn’t wait for Miss Kara to come home.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

1. A lot of times on lgbtq media, I’ll see things that include all wlw but will be labeled as for lesbians. Like “lesbian term”, “this song for lesbians”, or they’ll be posts or media talking about “lesbian only” experiences that could apply to all wlw. What bugs me is that bc lesbian has a very strict definition, I really don’t feel included in these. Whereas “gay” is an umbrella term and I often feel like I wouldn’t have these problems as a bi man cause I feel like gay covers me.

2. Lesbians of course have their own things, but I’m only talking about stuff that def includes all wlw but is called “lesbian”. Like “lesbian” couples that may have a bi women in them. I feel like there’s this split between communities bc any time I see a bi girl use the term lesbian(not as a label; for anything else) there gets so much crap thrown. While I know bi men prob feel that same sometimes, gay is such a universal term that I don’t see it as much. Idk if that’s invasive of me to feel

disclaimer: I was typing and typing and.... this kinds turned into a rant so. Take it or leave it, I don’t know how much sense I’m making. You know, up until ~50-60 years ago the word “lesbian” just meant every woman who had sex with women. That 100% included women who also had sex with men. (Note that at the time those labels were about sex acts and not about an identity based on attraction.) So many lesbians back then were what we would now call bisexual or pansexual.

However, lesbian separatists and “political lesbians” (basically the OG radfems) decided that a true lesbian should not have anything to do with men. And thus they started to exclude bisexuals from lesbian spaces and terminology and we were forced to make our own community. Which we did.

Now in the last couple years, especially on tumblr, there’s been this attempt to “reunite” lesbians and bisexual women into a shared community called “wlw” or “sapphic”. Unfortunately there’s still lesbian separatists. And that’s how you get entire campaigns on tungle dot hell where people recycle radfem rhetoric to tell bi women we aren’t “allowed to use butch/femme because those are just for lesbians” and other historic revisionism like that.

Most of the time I see people use “wlw” or “sapphic” it's bi/pan women who make that effort. And I notice a development in which the same thing happens to wlw/sapphic as it did to “lesbian” back in ye olden days: bisexuals are being told to keep their mouths shut about their male partners because “this is wlw safe space and this shouldn’t be about Straight Things” and as a result many think that “sapphic” is just a synonym for “lesbian”.

And note that this is all something that happens in relatively niche online communities like tumblr. When we’re looking at mainstream media then it’s a whole other piece of cake because mainstream media, especially when created by and for cisgender heterosexuals, just doesn’t fucking care about these distinctions. Sometimes it’s “just” ignorance and not even malicous - they just really don’t know the difference. Sometimes (often times!) it’s textbook bisexual erasure.

Personally, I totally get how you feel. I don’t feel connected to the “lesbian community” at all. I have a couple of lesbian friends but I don’t engage in any lesbian community events (even though Berlin has plenty to offer). I don’t feel like I have anything to add there and frankly, I don’t feel like I can openly talk about the fact I am bisexual and dating a man.

Even terms like “wlw” and “sapphic” - even though I do use and appreciate the sentiment behind them - don’t really give me a sense of community or belonging. Maybe that’s also a generational thing. I also don’t feel like I have one type of attraction that’s sapphic and then another type of attraction that’s [insert adjective] for men (and another again for enbys?) - all of my attractions are bisexual so I don’t feel comfortable describing my attraction to women as “sapphic” bc it implies that it’s something different than my attraction to other genders. But again, that’s just my personal feelings. I don’t mind those terms and I don’t mind if someone would use those as umbrella terms for me or as identity labels for themselves - go for it. I just don’t feel any significant connection to them personally.

I’m also a petty asshole though so if some event or media or whatever is advertised as “lesbian* .... party / movie night / pride / book club” then I’m just like, well, I’m not a lesbian so that’s not for me, guess they’ll be missing out on getting to know me. And I get even more pissy when they add in small print “*also welcome to bisexuals” because if you wanna make an event for lesbians and bi women then why not advertise it as that? Putting us in parantheses or small-print is at best tone-deaf and at worst an expression of how little they value us.

Many lesbians aren’t actively biphobic and would never want to exclude us and would actually genuinely welcome us. So, don’t take this as me slagging off all lesbians. However... many, especially the younger ones, are still incredibly oblivious to the history of their own label (because radfems work very hard at erasung that history so it doesn’t include bi and trans women) as well as ignorant about the struggles that bisexual women have to face in particular both in mainstream society as well as within the LGBTQIA+ community. They often don’t realise how alienating it is for us to always only being an after-thought at best. Which is kinda hilarious given that they often (rightfully!) voice the same criticism when everything is made about cis gay men and lesbians are just the after-thought.

So long story short: I get it. It sucks. That being said, bisexual men also face a lot of issues and biphobia affects them in some specific gendered ways that are also pretty shitty. They really don’t have it better or easier then other bisexuals when it comes down to biphobia.

Now, you can either say “fuck it, lesbian stuff is for me, too” and ignore all the separatism and basically reclaim your rightful place in this community. Or you can stick to the bi community and seek out media/events that are explicitly for all the queers.

Maddie

[icyharrington]

Fever Dreams (Michael Langdon X Reader)

im just gonna go ahead and apologize for the fact that i literally did not proofread this at all bc im tired as fuck and have to wake up so fucking early tomorrow. i had so many technical difficulties writing this so i sincerely hope y’all enjoy reading this lmao

plot: (slight au taking place pre-apocalypse, in which miss robichaux’s academy integrates with the hawthorne school.) you can’t stand michael langdon. michael langdon wants nothing more than to get under your skin.

warnings: fem!Reader, intercourse, rough sex, dirty talk, spanking, school uniform michael 

word count: 3.1k

i.

“This is the best day ever,” whispered one witch to you, her eyes widening as a gaggle of fresh-faced men in well tailored uniforms strode into the dining room of Miss Robichaux’s academy.

“This is stupid,” you said bitterly, stabbing a fork into your food. “Integrating Miss Robichaux’s with Hawthorne is going to do nothing but distract us from the real important things.”

“Depends what you consider to be important,” said another witch. “I haven’t gotten dick in over a year.”

You rolled your eyes. You were the top witch in your class, and it was often whispered amongst your peers that you were next in line to become supreme. There was no way you’d let a bunch of testosterone-filled man-children get in the way of that, no matter how badly Cordelia wanted to be “inclusive”.

From the corner of your eye, you could see a man approaching you and your classmates. You refused to look over, taking a bite of food and staring blankly at the white wall across from you with as unfriendly of an expression on your face as you could manage.

“Ladies,” came a smooth voice, and you indulged yourself in a single discreet glance just to see what the guy looked like. He was tall, with well styled blond hair framing his face, which even you could admit had some top quality bone structure. He gave a small smile, but you could tell even through his polite demeanor that he was quite confident.

“My name is Michael Langdon. Thank you for welcoming us Hawthorne boys to your school,” he said, and you didn’t even have to look at your classmates to know that they were flustered. Stifling another eye roll, you turned your attention back to your plate.

“Hi Michael,” said the girl next to you, her voice breathy. She wasn’t even attempting to seem calm, which irritated you even further. The last thing this guy needed was an ego boost. You watched from the corner of your eye as he bowed slightly at the hip, his hand extended for her to shake.

He cleared his throat, and the girl on your other side nudged you slightly to get your attention. You looked up, and realized he was offering you his hand now. You just stared at it like it was a foreign object, hoping to piss him off.

He cocked an eyebrow at you and ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

“And you are?” He said. You were pleased to hear that he had the tiniest twinge of annoyance in his voice. Typical attractive boy, getting his ego bruised the minute a girl didn’t fawn all over him.

“(Y/n). I actually happen to be the top of the class here, and I don’t intend to let your kind get in the way of that.”

His lips turned up slightly on one end as his eyes surveyed you, and he crossed his arms in front of his flawlessly pressed blazer. “My kind?”

“Yes. Your kind. Men.” Maybe you were getting a tiny bit carried away with the bitch act, but something about this Michael Langdon character made you want to put him in his place. You had the feeling he was used to getting whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.

“Quite a backwards attitude to have in this day and age, don’t you think?”

“Maybe,” you said coolly. “But it’s the truth that women are superior in the art of witchcraft. So unless you need a tutor, I have no interest in interacting with you.” You stood up with a flourish, your chair screeching noisily against the wooden floor, and started on your way out.

You couldn’t help but look over your shoulder, though, to see his reaction. He simply stood there, hands in his pockets, an indecipherable expression across his face as he watched you. If you didn’t know any better, though, you might have even thought he was smiling.

ii.

It was a Saturday afternoon and you were practicing divination, your worst subject, in the living room. You’d asked one of your classmates to hide a series of objects throughout the room, and you were stuck as you tried to figure out the location of the final object, an old-fashioned golden pocketwatch.

You rubbed your temples and looked towards the ceiling, mumbling to yourself as you tried, unsuccessfully, to lift the fog in your mind.

You were so wrapped up in focus that you hardly noticed the sound of dress shoes crossing the wooden floor, and nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard a voice mere inches away from you.

“Is this what you’re trying to find?”

Your eyes shot open, only to find Langdon standing over you, a smug grin on his face as he dangled the watch out in front of him. Jumping to your feet from the couch, you snatched the object from his hand.

“Who told you where that was?”

“Nobody,” he said, pleased to witness your frustration. “Well, besides myself. I AM the top of my class in divination, you know.” There was a twinge of mocking to his tone, and you shot him a scowl.

“What are you even doing here?”

“What, am I not allowed to stroll the halls of my own lovely school?” he said, looking at you with mischief glinting in his piercing blue eyes. “The walls call out to me. I’m always hearing my name, echoing in and out of every corner.”

He stepped closer to you, and you scoffed. “Do you happen to excel in clairvoyance? Because those whispers might be all the thirsty girls at this school having wet dreams about you.”

He chuckled. “Does that bother you?”

“Why the fuck would that bother me?” you snapped, gathering your bag from the ground and swinging it over your shoulder. “Other than the fact that no one here gives a shit about witchcraft anymore, just about getting dicked down.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been particularly interested in any of the girls here.”

“And I should care... why?” you brushed past him, huffing something about personal space issues under your breath as you tried to made your way to the door. Something, however, kept a hold on you, and your feet remained planted to the floor as Michael took a step closer to you.

“I think you’re jealous, (y/n),” he said, smirking again as he watched your face contort into anger. “Of the way I’m desired. Of the way I can have anyone I want. I can fuck a different witch every single day if I wanted to.” His voice was soft, seductive. Something swirled in the depths of your stomach as he spoke, but you ignored it.

You gaped at him, disgust blooming through you as you made another attempt to get away, in vain. “You really are a pompous dick.”

“Maybe,” he said, lips just inches from yours. You flinched, readying your fist at your sides to pummel him should he try anything. “But you, my dear, are a bitter bitch.”

With that, the hold on you broke, and you hurried towards the door. “Go fuck yourself,” you said, seething, not bothering to look at him.

“You’d like to see that, wouldn’t you?”

You knew it only fueled him when you gave him a reaction, but you couldn’t help it; flicking your wrist, you sent a book on the coffee table flying at his head, missing by mere centimeters as it slammed against the wall.

He only laughed, a low, deep luscious laugh that you knew you’d hear in your dreams.

Fucking asshole.

iii.

Lustful moans filled the air alongside the sound of skin slapping together, raw and vulgar, and you panted words that didn’t exist as the faceless man behind you thrust inside your walls.

The paintings on the walls watched you, the supremes of long ago casting shameful gazes upon your naked body.

You didn’t care.

There were hands on your body, hundreds of hands, some hot as embers and others cold as snow, and the all-white room seemed to stretch for miles and miles, the door evading you further with each second coaxing you closer to orgasm.

Michael, Michael, Michael, you thought, or said, or whatever it was, you couldn’t be quite sure, but your eyes were rolling back into your head now, lolling all the way until you could see the inside of your skull, and your brain, slimy and gray.

The world went white, but the man kept thrusting in you, taking you over, and you noticed a droplet of blood fall from your nose and onto the pristine, empty expanse of the ground.

AVE SATANAS, said a booming voice, and in that moment you came, harder than you ever had in your life, gasping for breath as your body convulsed with electrically charged pleasure.

When you woke up, it was past midnight, and you were drenched in a cold sweat. There was a throbbing ache between your legs, but you ignored it, begging the universe to let you fall back asleep undisturbed.

In the morning, you weren’t able to recall much about the dream, but there was no way you could forget the name which had repeated itself throughout like a taunt against your sanity.

Michael.

iv.

You were bothered enough by your dream that you opted out of the outing Cordelia had planned for everyone the next day. Her plan was to show the new students some of the most important magical landmarks around New Orleans, and you’d actually been pretty excited to go. Now, though, you’d much rather stay in your room and far away from Michael.

Whether or not your dream meant anything, he irritated you, and you didn’t feel like being put in a bad mood for the umpteenth time this week. So you stayed back, reading in your bed for a while, before you decided that you’d get something to eat from the kitchen.

Wearing only a skimpy tank top and shorts, you always feeling far too warm in the New Orleans heat, you rifled through the kitchen cabinets before deciding to have some Cheerios. You didn’t have much of an appetite at all, but you needed to eat something, so cereal was your meal of choice. You poured a bowl and headed back to the dining room, enjoying the fact that you had the usually chaotic house all to yourself.

Well, that’s what you thought, at least. You nearly dropped your bowl of cereal onto the ground in shock upon entering the dining room and seeing the last fucking person you wanted to see standing there, a bemused expression across his face.

“Michael,” you exclaimed, stopping in your tracks, all at once feeling extremely exposed in your revealing sleepwear. You put the bowl down before wrapping your arms around your prominent cleavage, embarrassment flooding your body as his blue eyes scanned your body not-so-discreetly.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he said with a smile. You had a sneaking suspicion that he knew you’d stayed home to avoid him, and so he, too, had decided to stay back to give you an unpleasant surprise.

The only difference between the two of you, though, was that he was wearing his uniform, impeccably ironed and suited perfectly to his frame. This only increased the flush in your cheeks, and you avoided his gaze as best as you could. “Michael, why are you here?”

“Wasn’t feeling up to the trip,” he said, bored, taking a step around the dining table to come closer to you, dragging his toe lightly on the ground as he did.

“Bullshit,” you said, backing away just slightly. “You stayed here so you could fuck with me.”

“Now what would ever make you think that?” He tilted his head to the side pensively, eyes searing into yours, and you felt your stomach drop. “Silly little witch. You really think I care that much about you?”

“Oh, please. It’s so obvious that you wanna get under my skin.”

He took another step towards you. You backed up again, steadily, keeping your eyes on him as your breaths drew shorter.

“And have I?” He asked, looking down at you, and it was then that you realized how much taller he was than you. You swallowed nervously, taking another shaky stride back as he cornered you even further, your back coming closer and closer to the wall with each step. “Have I gotten under your skin?”

You shuddered, remembering the dream, and suddenly you felt powerless, like he could wipe out your existence at any given moment. You knew he liked you to feel this way, utterly helpless, and your brain screamed at you to react. To throw him across the room with a single flick of your hand. But you didn’t.

“I think I have,” he said, coming closer, and you were startled by a thud as your back hit the wall behind you. He had you cornered now, so you just stood there, looking at him like a deer in headlights.

“You’re such a fucking dick,” you said, fists balled at your side, but you had no intentions of using them.

“Hm? And what are you going to do about it?”

His lips brushed your cheek, sending a harsh chill down your spine. Your throat defied you, letting out a soft whimper, and then his lips were on yours. Without a moment’s hesitation, you kissed him back, unable to resist him as he consumed you. Your hair stood on end at his touch, his hands grazing down your hips and onto your ass, squeezing greedily.

He hummed in your ear softly, his hand reaching up to grip your neck. “See, isn’t this what you wanted all along?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to reply; he lifted his knee up between your legs, smirking as you gasped at the sudden contact. You rocked your hips forward, hissing at the feel of his dress pants between your thighs, and he kissed you again, hungry and authoritative.

He wrapped his hands under your bare thighs, hoisting them up to wrap around his waist, and once he had a proper hold on you, he turned around and tossed you onto the dining table. You pulled him towards you by the front of his shirt, connecting your lips with his and sliding your tongue between his teeth.

He pulled off your top and didn’t waste a second before roughly groping your breasts, leaning forward to suck one nipple hard while rolling the other between two fingers, occasionally applying a jarring pinch. Then he flipped you over onto your stomach, clearly eager to get to the real action, your breasts flattening against the cold wooden table as your bare feet grazed the ground. He pulled your shorts and underwear down in one go, leaving you entirely vulnerable and naked in his presence. It made it worse that he hadn’t undressed himself at all, but something about being so submissive to him turned you on more than you’d care to admit.

He massaged both of your ass cheeks, spreading them apart and reaching one hand under you to slide between your slick folds. “So fucking wet for me,” he muttered, digging his fingernails into your skin, causing you to whine slightly.

“Since you’ve acted like a bitch for the duration of us knowing each other, I have no choice but to treat you like one,” he said, gripping your right ass cheek before giving it a hard, firm slap. You surged forward, but he yanked you back towards him, giving you another slap on the other cheek, harder this time.

You moaned, and he gave you another spank. “You like being treated like a bitch? Huh?” He asked, grabbing a fist full your hair and yanking it back. “Answer me,” he demanded.

“Yes, Michael, fuck,” you grunted, your words separated with each spank he gave you, each one harder than the next. You were sure your ass would be covered in his hand prints for the next week, but you didn’t care.

He paused, and you could hear the tell tale sound of him unzipping his pants. You bit your lip, knowing what was coming next, and you wanted so badly to turn around and see his cock. You stayed put, though, knowing not to act without his permission, and within moments you felt the head of his dick rub itself along your slit.

“Beg me,” he said, letting his dick sit just against your entrance. You squirmed slightly, and he placed his hand on your lower back to hold you still.

“Please, Michael,” you said, hardly aware of the words leaving your mouth. You just wanted him inside you, wanted him to own you. “Please fuck me. I’ll be good from now on, I’ll do whatever you want. Please.”

He rubbed himself against your wetness again, painfully slow, and without warning he slammed himself inside. You gasped, shocked at his massive length, but he did not give you time to adjust before committing to a quick, intense pace. Thrusting inside you ruthlessly, you grasped at the edges of the table to hold yourself steady, a string of expletives leaving you as he fucked you hard and fast.

One hand yanked your head back, hard, by the hair, while the other wrapped around to grip your throat, your hips bucking back to meet his thrusts as you panted desperately, shouting incoherent words as tears filled your eyes and dribbled onto the wooden surface of the table.

“You’re like a bitch in heat,” he said smugly, stopping mid-thrust. “Beg me to cum.”

“Please, Michael,” you said, voice cracking, cheek resting against the table and palms flat on either side of you. You’d never felt so degraded in your life, but you loved it. “Please. Let me cum, I’ll be good, I swear.”

He finished his thrust, filling you up and making you cry out, and it wasn’t long before your walls clenched around him and you came, bursts of white-hot light in front of your eyes. Only seconds later, he had your hips gripped hard in his hands as he hurried to finish, and you could only imagine how beautiful his face might look on the brink of an orgasm.

He let go, grunting with each breath, his warmth flooding up inside you. You laid there, trying to recover as he tucked himself back into his pants, seemingly unbothered by the whole interaction. You, on the other hand, knew you wouldn’t be able to sit for a good week; it was well worth it to you, though, and as you re-dressed yourself, you hardly could bring yourself to mind the cocky way he smirked at you.

He looked as if he was about to speak, and you shot him a playful, yet slightly annoyed glance as you pulled your top back over your head. “Don’t even say anything,” you said, and he laughed.

That night, you dreamt of Michael again, but this time, you liked it.

[teddy-king-blog]

hey everyone! rosie who plays milena here back with my 2nd child!! you’ll honestly have to forgive me bc i’ve played theo before and his intro is always mega because i get musey af. i hope u can stand to read to the end, lol. boi needs a big hug if ur down :((. he’s just come to crownsville anyway, like legit just turned up so, everything will be p much from scratch i imagine??? idk. feel free to like this if u fancy plotting!

[ michael b jordan, thirty two, male, he/him ] ━ hey, I just saw [ theo king ] walking down the streets of crownsville. they’ve lived in town for [ less than a month ], and you can catch them around town working as a [ barista ]. I hear they’re known to be [ resilient & charismatic ] and [ doubtful & untrusting ]. if asked, they would say their aesthetic would be [ muddy football boots, strong aftershave, gym gear, early morning runs ]. ━ [ ooc: rosie, 22, gmt, she/her ] 

TW: MENTION OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, DRUGS & LONG TERM INJURY.

- Theodore ‘teddy’ King was born in Hunts Point, the Bronx to mother, Kelani and father, Jackson who split up when he was only a few years old. Like many kids growing up in Hunts Point, he saw way too much and often got closer than his parents would like to think to the realities of getting by, by whatever means. But his mother did a good job at keeping him on the straight and narrow, by keeping him in line and making sure he went to school and straight from school, to extra curriculars. When he wasn’t in school, Theo went to church with his mother and sang in the church choir, something he didn’t particularly enjoy but he knew better than to say no to his mother. Theo’s dad, a man some would say was quite the opposite to his church going ex-wife, was involved in the darker side of the neighbourhood and was a well known drug dealer within the area. Theo didn’t know this until he was older, of course, when he started to get to know his dad a little more and began to doubt whether the path his mother had taken him on was the better one.

- His mother would say that Theo managed to stay on her path until he was about 15, when the thrill and egotistical feeling of trying to run the streets just appealed to him too much. He saw friends die, he was part of a gang and well, Theo ended up doing what you’ve got to do to stay strong as a gang, things that his mother never knew about, until his parents evening came up at school that year. His mother asked to see his extra curricular teachers (she was extra af – but knew that it was too easy to get dragged up in shit where they lived and so she had to be) and see how he was doing, but only then did she find out that they didn’t know, because he hadn’t been going. She was LIVID. His mother banned him from leaving the house without her, she escorted him everywhere and things got even worse when she found out that her ex-husband had KNOWN about it. He’d just chosen not to tell her and hadn’t spoken to his son for months.

- This could’ve gone one of two ways, Theo could’ve lost his shit and become completely defiant or, he could’ve sorted out his shit and cut his ties with the streets and his gang where he could. One afternoon after class, his favourite teacher at school had asked him to stay behind. Theo worried that he’d done something wrong, or they’d found out some of the things that he had done (the teachers weren’t naïve to know that even the kids who turned up to school were still out doing dodgy shit when they weren’t in class) but he was wrong. His teacher just sat with him, talking to him about his life and where he’d been, something Theo began to relate to the more he told him. He’d been in a gang, before a youth worker in the area got through to him and convinced him to take a different path – not a boring one, but a better one. Did he want to waste his life on the type of pride that comes from having power as a result of fear?

- And so that was that. Conveniently enough, Theo’s mother ended up marrying this teacher (which they laugh about now), but Theo always said he’d be forever grateful for the two of them for steering him back to the path he was meant to tread. Theo was aiming big, from then on. He already knew he wanted to play football professionally, it was something he adored and could see himself doing forever, but he’d slacked off a little. He needed to get back to where he was and so, he had to study overtime. When his friends wanted him out, doing what they used to do, Theo had to say no, which was hard in itself when he knew what they were capable of. Luckily, there were only a few months left till the end of senior year and Theo knew that if he could get through them, he’d be out of the Bronx for at least 4 years – enough time for them to forget he ever left.

- And there it was. Laying on the doormat. A letter from Notre Dame, a scholarship to play football for them for a whole 4 years. So off he went. After a tearful goodbye from his mother and new step-dad, a non-existent goodbye to his father, Theo landed in Notre Dame and well, a new adventure began. He formed friendships, he drank, he danced, he did everything you’re supposed to do at college, like meeting a girl and falling in love during the last and arguably most important year of your college education.

- His best friend and room-mate, saw it all happen. He saw (and instigated) the two meeting and watched everything progress from then on. He was relegated from their room, went on double dates and well, pretty much fell in love alongside Theo. But what his best friend didn’t see, because Theo was so good at hiding it, was when things went wrong. He didn’t notice the girl becoming possessive, controlling, emotionally manipulative and then, physically violent. He didn’t notice that Theo had began to lie about where he was, what he was doing. He didn’t notice the bruises when Theo got changed before and after practice and if he did, Theo already had his lie made up – he’d gotten into a fight on a night out. His best friend didn’t see any of that, yet perhaps that would’ve saved Theo from the worst years of his life.

- Straight out of college, Theo moved in with this girl. He didn’t go back to the Bronx, he went to her hometown in Texas and there he was, alone. He’d isolated all of his friends, like his best friend from college and team mates from the football team and eventually, much to the girl’s satisfaction, he’d cut off his mother (this one took a while). He was completely and utterly alone with her, and his feelings. He took assault after assault after assault, emotional attack after emotional attack and became a shell of himself. Anxious, on edge… Theo wasn’t the charismatic guy he used to be. He was completely under control, accused of everything despite doing nothing and utterly depressed, unable to bring himself to do anything about his situation because he felt so worthless.

- This carried on for 2 years after Theo left college, until one day, his mother couldn’t take it any longer. She found his address and she turned up to their house and thankfully, the girl wasn’t home. But Theo was, and he was in one of the worst states he’d ever been in. He wouldn’t even answer the door at first, so his mother (being who she was) allowed herself in through the back door and well, she couldn’t believe what she had seen. Theo would tell you now, that he was shocked that a murder didn’t take place that night, but back then, he didn’t even know his mother had arrived. Theo’s mother hauled her son into her car with barely any of his belongings and drove as fast as she could back to their home, feeling furious, devastated and completely heartbroken.

- The next few months were a blur for Theo. He’d still tell you to this day that until he managed to see a tiny speck of light in his dark tunnel, everything that happened before is in pieces in his head. Of course, the girl still tried to contact him, as well as trying to turn up at his house, yet Theo’s dad came to the rescue with that when necessary. Not that Theo remembered that. Of course, his mother began to pursue a court case and after a rough year, mostly managed to get the result that they’d hoped for. Aggravated assault in the second degree, 10 years in prison. Sure, they’d hoped for more but with Theo’s being unable to recall a lot of the events that occurred due to a permanent brain injury that the girl had left him with, that was the best that they could get.

- Now, Theo lives in Crownsville and managed to get a job at a coffee shop called Cuppa Joe. His memory is not what it used to be after his brain injury and he often suffers with headaches and dizziness. Not to mention, his levels of frustration with himself and with others. He is never violent, as he knows the long lasting effects that violence can have, but people who are unaware of his past can often take his frustration the wrong way. His mother would say that you can see the old Theo in him occasionally, but she fears that the fully old Theo has been lost forever. He can still think for himself, he can still do the things an average person can, but he’s not the same as he used to be and as for football, the risk to his head is just too great. Nobody in Crownsville knows about Theo’s past and that’s the way Theo intends to keep it. He feels a lot of shame in relation to what happened to him and fears that men in particular, especially his old football team, would see him as weak and frail if they knew. He fears that women will see him as pathetic, especially people he is romantically involved with given the long term effects he has suffered in terms of his fertility.

- Basically, Theo has been on a hell of a ride. A ride he did not expect nor know how to get off. His life started off pretty alright and then went a little pear shaped and sadly now, he is paying the price of someone else’s actions, no matter how much jail time she has got. Not to mention the fact that he keeps receiving letters and phone calls from Texas County Jail. Theo knows that one day, he will be able to move on from what happened to him but he also knows that it won’t be a quick fix.

[holydepths-blog]

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 

[fmdsuran]

✧ *･ﾟ HAVE YOU EVER encountered someone that looked like a goddess or a doll on the outside, but after taking the time to get to know them, you slowly begin to realize that where confidence should exist lies layers of insecurity, self-doubt, and sadness ? that, or have you ever met a person that was so fortunate and lucky in various ways, but can’t help but spiral into bouts of depression due to loneliness, and lack of genuine human connection ? have you ever listened to the iconic hit LUCKY BY BRITNEY SPEARS ? if you answered yes to all, or some, of these q’s, then you’ve already had a glimpse into the life and times of my precious princess, the stunning SEO SURAN —- lipstick’s sub rapper, sub vocal, and child actress turned idol ! if you don’t feel like reading her bio, i 100% feel you, fam, so i’ll do you a favor and provide you some fun facts below the cut that you can read up on ! what’s even better is that i’ll give you some plot ideas, too, to make plotting with me EVEN EASIER. with all that said, feel free to hit the heart in the corner to lmk if you’d like to plot with me, and if you do, i’ll love you foreva and eva ! oh, i almost forgot lmao... you all can call me ryan btw ! i’m 18+ and a self-proclaimed bad bih lol it’s nice to meet’cha 💋

B A C K S T O R Y —-

suran was born to a former screenwriter (current film/tv reviewer) and his wife, a full-time stay at home mother, in seoul, south korea. from a very young age, she was beckoned to be a critical thinker —- her friends often loathed watching cartoons with her as she’d judge them based on their animation, writing, and so on. all of them would say that she doesn’t just sit back and enjoy them because she’s been raised to ask questions and analyze creative work. however, this made her a great student when it came to school, and she developed a love for learning at a young age.

around the age of eight years old, she decided that she wanted to be an actress. after spending long hours studying how it was done by the men and women on tv, she had a hunch that she’d be able to do it with ease. then, not long after, with her father’s connections, she was able to make her acting début in a drama called ‘ballad of seodong’ —- a historical piece where she played the younger version of the drama’s main character, princess seonhwa of silla. after that, she went on to star in another drama, then after, two feature films; one of those being a main role for her!

needless to say, she was a hardworking child; one that made her mom and dad super proud. however, when her contract with the acting agency ended, she was approached by bc entertainment. they discovered a few options for her —- representing her as an actress was mentioned, but the other option they provided seemed slightly better to her. they made a deal with her that they’d give her an easy début in an idol group so she could make a bigger name for herself, and at the time, she didn’t see anything wrong with that and decided to accept, and soon after, in 2010, she became a bc trainee.

while she envisioned this to be a great time of learning and accomplishment, it was anything but —- the trainee lifestyle kind of really destroyed her. body dysmorphia tw there was constant talk about diet and beauty, and whenever she looked around her, she found that everyone else was so graceful and glamorous. she felt like she didn’t meet their standards, and she became anxious about it. she started to look in the mirror and hate her appearance. being that she wasn’t quite talented at singing and dancing, she knew that beauty and personality were going to have to be her tickets to debut, so she spent almost all the money she made as a child actress on cosmetic surgery. within the two year time span that she trained, she got her eyelids, forehead, nose, jawline, and breasts done.

bc entertainment found this brave of her, and after she’d fully recovered, they decided to take a chance on her and put her in the lineup of lipstick. they wanted to use her for visual appeal more than outward talent, and she became a spectacle; an ornament almost. she loved and hated all this attention.

a few years pass and bc helps her land her first acting gig in years, and she couldn’t be more excited. however, when it’s announced, and when it later airs, netizens began to realize that they had seen her name before, and they pulled up old photos of her as a kid in the dramas and movies she starred in. when they put two and two together and saw that she looked like a drastically different person now, they were appalled; calling her a fraud as she’s made comments in the past about natural health and beauty.

due to this, her performance in ‘discovery of love’ wasn’t regarded as anything special and she fell into a deep depression; realizing that her past insecurities only came to ruin her life in present day.

after that, she spent years in a dark depression and became disinterested in being an idol, in being in lipstick. so much pressure was put on her —- be beautiful, be thin, be effervescent on camera, be appealing to the masses... and when she couldn’t fulfill all of those, she felt hopeless; she felt like a failure. everyone seemed to hate her, and she was so regretful of all she’d done leading up to this point.

however, after a few years of suffering, bc finally guided her into another acting opportunity once negative talk of her died down to a slow simmer, and it helped rouse her from this slump for quite awhile. the filming process kept her distracted, and she loved the character she portrayed, and when it was announced to the public, they had mixed reactions. all of them wondered why they’d cast her, but when the show aired, it became a cultural phenomenon in all of korea. ‘goblin’ now sits as one of the nation’s highest rated televised dramas, and after watching her thrilling performance as the leading female role, netizens grew soft for her; their opinions completely changingh

this drastic change has been so good to her that she doesn’t even believe she deserves it. she’s grateful for it though, and would rather be seen as some sort of angel to the nation instead of a fraud. what stresses her out now though is the pressure to keep this image going. she’s terrified of what’d happen if she fell from grace again, so she’s constantly on her best behavior —- not wanting anymore scandals to ruin her.

overall, her personality is really sweet. there’s a coldness to her because she’s afraid of what people think of her initially, but once she warms up to you, she’ll be a great friend. she’s fiercely loyal and really just wants to be loved.

C O N N E C T I O N S —-

another child actress/actor who was friends with suran since they were signed under the same agency when they were little. now that they’re both idols, they’re taking it to mean that fate really wants their friendship to last forever, so they’re doing all they can to make that happen. must’ve been an active actor/actress from 2004-2010.

a person that she trained in bc with (2010-2012) that she was able to share her secrets and insecurities with, and every time she went under the knife, they were there for her. really, they would try to convince her that she was beautiful as is, but she had the worst time believing them due to her dysmorphia. however, they’re still friends to this day, and they’ll forever be confidantes.

someone who has no idea why she’s even in lipstick since she doesn’t have that much talent when it comes to singing and dancing. she doesn’t get a lot of lines in their songs, but somehow, manages to be center a lot and it infuriates them that she’s given any spotlight at all.

an ex-boyfriend of her that really didn’t give a shit about her and only really wanted her as arm candy, and once he realized she had a lot of baggage, broke up w her.

an ex-girlfriend from the rough period of her time as an idol (2014-2016) who she broke up with because she was too insecure, and felt she was undeserving of her love. they’re still lowkey soft for each other, but lord knows if they’ll get back together rip.

a current romantic interest of her’s (male preferred) who, for the first time in forever, is patient enough with her to stick around and helps her feel better about herself. however, he doesn’t want to make things official just yet and it makes her sad because she’s falling deep in love with him.

a girl who had her first lesbian/bi experience with suran that’s a bit obsessed with her because of it, but she doesn’t know how to tell them that she doesn’t feel the same way.

lots and lots of fwb plots, please! men, women, whatever... she likes sex.

someone that’s made her their muse, and often paints pictures of her, writes poetry about her, or whatever, but they’re too scared to tell her or show her what they’ve done.

a man who listed her as his ideal type, but it led to her getting backlash from his fans, so now their relationship is awkward and she’s scared to be seen in public with him lol.

a woman who she said was her ideal type as a joke, but she’s actually not joking at all and she desperately wants to get to know her better —- as friends or as fwbs or wtv.

people that help her with dancing, singing, and rapping! she’s not the worst that there is in the industry, but she still feels as though she’s lacking since she skated through training based on her looks alone. please help her tysm.

a younger man that she’s having a fwb relationship with and she loves spoiling him since he hasn’t paid off his debt from training yet, lol. make her a sugar mama pls.

really... i’m up for anything! so please let me know if none of these appeal to you so we can plot something else! love you all and thanks for reading!