#like talking of course would be preferrable but these two have so much shit under the bridge

[nandermoenthusiast]

im just imagining nandermo in a very enclosed space like for some reason they gotta be chest to chest pushed up against a wall and its awkward for a moment but then nandors eyes are just boring into guillermos and guillermo has that uncertain but unwavering stare too, and is this what is gonna take for them to kiss?

[damselofblueroses]

The Name of the Rose, Chapter 3

Summary: Your study-buddy Doh Kyungsoo comes with you for a long-awaited trip to Tokyo, Japan. There is a tension between you, however both of you decided to build a friendship instead of a relationship.

Chapter Summary: Kyungsoo made a mistake on his delicate relationship with the reader, then he could not find a way of apologizing. Reader made his life harder than he could imagine. They accepted that they mutually have some feelings however they could not name them. Catastrophy begins with Kyungsoo’s acceptance of reader’s interesting and unexpected offer.

Content: Unestablished relationship, AU, Hurt/Comfort, Anger, Slight Violence, Emotional Complications and Healing.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story was inspired by D.O.’s album, Empathy, the album of 2021 in my opinion. It is an ongoing mini project, I planned to write it as a one-shot when I started, however I realized there are a lot to say about Empathy Era and I cannot stop shut my mouth, or prevent myself from writing… So, here we go.

Chapter Word Count: 5.7k

Series Masterlist

Prettier than Roses

Perhaps Kyungsoo was still punishing himself even after all this time, whether he was aware of his regrets or not. But he was punishing himself, for not being vocal about his feelings for you. He burned for you, he followed you just as a bloody puppy dog tail, but he always kept his heart’s desires in his chest.

He was resisting the urge of confessing, the dire need of being more than a friend for you as he was performing all roles of a friend, but God, he hated his role in your life. Even though he strongly believed that he did not have a chance with you, not even in the slightest, not after he played his role very well, more than he wanted and resulted in being your very dear and close friend. A friend, but nothing more nothing less. He hated so much, if he could, he would change everything in the blink of an eye.

He knew that he had to take you back to the safety of your room immediately. Before he was going to lose his shit. Before he was going to make a mistake. Before he was going to fuck the things up so bad. He was determined to take the cab and keeping you away from himself.

He did not want any distraction, shit he fucking dreamed of ripping that bloody dress off you during the dinner, he did not wish anything but managing to lock himself inside of his room before doing something stupid.

His clenched his fists in order to focus on a different thing. When he saw the cab coming to your direction, he was on the verge of praying.

However, when he turned to you, he just lost his shit.

You were looking at him with you big-doe eyes, a pout on your lips. The city lights were painting you with a dim yellow shine, multiplying your summer rose vibe. To Kyungsoo’s dismay, the wind carried your floral fragrance to him.

He remembered what you asked him.

He remembered what you requested.

Kyungsoo would do it right, he would touch you rightly and correctly, goddamn, he was fucking dreamed of how he could touch you since years. He was not better than the men you went out with, he was fantasizing a lot about you, he felt bad since he did not have your permission, fucking hell if he would ask your permission, but at the same time he knew that he was just helpless when those thoughts about you popped up in his imagination.

Unfortunately, all those dreams were so vivid.

You were like an island to him. A place for self-isolation, a place of happy utopias, a place of loneliness, a place of joy and fruitful ways of living, a place of exile and a place of connection. You were his island, his harbour and he needed to make you his, only his.

Since the day you were asleep on his shoulder in the bloody library, Kyungsoo wanted nothing but you.

Since the day you jumped in front of Kyungsoo out of nowhere with your fucking Cheshire cat grin, Kyungsoo only wished for being able to stick to you till the end. He did not care if he was torturing himself by dreaming of you when he knew he could not have you.

Your scent was too good.

Kyungsoo did not think what the heck he was doing, his mind could not catch his actions. His breath caught in the center of his throat like he was thirsty since ages, he could feel all dryness. He watched himself out of his body, he reached to you and dragged you into the cage of his arms.

Your smell was something else and Kyungsoo was immediately drunk in your scent.

“It is okey, Kyungsoo.” he heard your sweetest voice.

Kyungsoo did not need anything more to hear. The cab just disappeared into the darkness he caressed your face.

“You are so beautiful.” the words he was desperate to say finally fell from his tongue, mingled with the air. Your eyes slightly widened, and he heard your little gasp, that was the nail of Kyungsoo’s coffin. “Goddamn, you are fucking beautiful.”

“Kyungsoo” you literally moaned his goddamn name, and if there was still a kind of sanity left in Kyungsoo’s mind, your moan unconditionally destroyed it.

He kissed you and it took your breath away, both of you.

He kissed you enough to empty your lungs, and made your mind go to mush.

You were the one who broke the kiss in order to catch your thoughts. Your mind was scattered all around. You leaned over to your shaking knees and held them tightly.

“This… This…” you were panting, trying to find an excuse in the book in order to justify the kiss he gave to you.

“This means nothing.” Kyungsoo muttered but he could also reject to his claim with two reasons. First, It definitely did not fell like fucking nothing, and he never want something more than kiss you.

“Well, it means a lot to me.” you could not help but spill the beans. “Where in the hell you learned how to kiss like this?”

“I told you that you never have a proper taste of me.” Kyungsoo tensely chuckled, hell, he was aware of he was doing everything in his not-to-do list, but the spell you put on him made him impervious to anything except you.

“If you kiss every girl like this,” you hesitated to tell what you wanted to say, then you just gave up. JesusfuckingChrist, if he did not want to hear, he would better not to kiss you. Since he turned your brain into mush, he had to listen. “There is no surprise they are chasing you every day.”

“I do not kiss every girl first and foremost.” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows were furrowed. “If they want to chase me, what can I do?”

“And now you are bragging about yourself.” Your mood quickly changed into a less pleasurable and preferrable situation. “Can we go back?”

“Yes, of course.” he nod but you knew that you just destroyed everything was building between you in the blink of eye. You bite your upper lip so hard, preventing you from crying. Not now. Not before you were going to be under your blanket.

That kiss, that fucking kiss, it was all Kyungsoo’s fault.

He gave you a proper taste of himself, and you just wanted to cry, you were deeply sad because of you were not able to have him, you could not have him. He would not come to you as he boldly stated that the kiss meant nothing.

You were angry.

You were sad.

You were disappointed of yourself.

You just wanted to go back to the safety of your room and being able to talk with Chanyeol. He would understand. You knew that Baekhyun would give you a lot of advice in order to seduce Kyungsoo, but you did not want even to hear them.

He told you the kiss meant nothing.

Hell, if you could agree with this shitty statement, you would be lying your ass off.

Fuck off, you bastard you thought. You were fighting with your tears, trying to send them back. You were a big, strong girl and you could control your feelings.

You always were extremely strong, and you were famous for your self-control. You were not going to let Kyungsoo to destroy your inner peace or seeing you in tears because of his fucking rejection. You thought Kyungsoo would do it better, kissing you better, making you feel good, but the only thing he did was dismantling your foolish dreams.

He put you in your place, he gave you a lesson about your place in his eyes.

Nothing.

Kyungsoo could not look at you while you two were in the cab, going back to the hotel.

He knew that he fucked the things up so bad and he could not think a way to claim back from the pit he fell down by himself.

He kissed you, goddamn, it was the best kiss of his whole life, then he just said it meant nothing.

He cursed himself, he wished for the earth cracked like an egg and swallow his worthless presence. He made you upset, that’s why he could not look at your face. He knew what he was going to see, your eyes were going to mirror his mistake.

He lost in the moment, and while he was trying to give you a justification of that kiss, he just irrevocably ruined everything.

When you arrived at the hotel, you paid for the cab without saying a single word to Kyungsoo and directly walked to the inside of the hotel.

Kyungsoo was dying to grab you and apologizing on his knees, but your face telling him not to dare touching you.

He did not enter the hotel, he just sat on a chair in the garden. He was lost in his self-hatred, dreadful overthinking that had his skull feeling stuffed and a lifeless gaze washed all his feature.

He expected nothing but long days where the minutes bled into hours, hours into days and the inability to differentiate one day from the other. He mentally prepared himself for more than self-hatred, he knew that depression, isolation, and numbness were on their way to finish him, to eat him alive. Your face expression when he told you it was nothing was carved behind his eyelids, whenever he closed his eyes.

Kyungsoo was ready for flashbacks and nightmares, disturbing recollections that would render him for the following days.

Comatose, Kyungsoo thought. It was going to be a comatose for him.

How could he think he was better than those guys you went out? They did not destroy your expectations; they did not blend your self-confidence as Kyungsoo did in the seconds.

You did not know but there was a reason why Kyungsoo hopelessly tried to spare you from his kiss. You did not know but Kyungsoo heard a conversation between you and Chanyeol for once, when Chanyeol was telling that Kyungsoo was different for you, Kyungsoo was caring you more than anyone else, Kyungsoo was always there for you before anyone else just like he forgot how to shut his mouth as he continued. Chanyeol was the one who told you about Kyungsoo’s feelings.

And you just giggled of disbelief as Chanyeol went on about everything Kyungsoo wanted to tell you. Open your eyes to the facts.

You just laughed at his feelings coming from Chanyeol’s mouth and you told him it was impossible, you declared that there was nothing could be happened between Kyungsoo and you. You told Chanyeol, Kyungsoo was a good guy, but you did not think he was for you.

He wanted to save you from an unwanted situation which Kyungsoo could put you in by kissing you. It was sake, telling him to teach you, and Kyungsoo stupidly fell for it.

Till now he preferred to hide in the shadows, dancing around the subject than jumping onto it.

But this logic that his mind was following did not change how much he hated himself right now.

He had no regrets on kissing you, god knew that. He still could taste your velvety lips under his lips, he knew that moment was going to live with him till the end of his life. That kiss was grounding but inebriating, he was feeling sane while bringing both of you to the edge of insanity, your lips burned him like a fire.

When you touched him, you marked his skin, your touch stayed on him.

But he hated himself so much, enough to made him feel suffocating.

He found himself standing up and heading to your room before he could understand what the heck he was aiming for. The deep rumble of his chest that he could almost feel vibrate through the air as he walked through the way coming to you, helped him to prepare himself to face with you.

What could it be? he asked to himself. You could tell him get the fuck off, but he was not going to obey to your wish this time.

It was going to be a rumbling, he knew your possible reactions when you were sad, Goddamnit, you were extraordinarily upset with him, but he did not let this fact to disheartened him. He was not a coward; he was going to fix his mistake.

Kyungsoo raised his hand to knock your door, but before doing it, he heard your voice. As he thought, you were talking with Chanyeol or Baekhyun, he was not sure. He came closer to the door as much as he could, and did not give a shit to the rightful concern what if someone saw him while he was leaning on a single woman’s room like a stalker pervert?

He did not care.

He only cared for hearing your words after the incident.

Your voice was cracked, and he could not hear you properly, your voice was coming and going like a goddamn ancient radio. He could hear some words but there was no consistency or no chance of building a logical sentence of your words. He could perceive his name, with couple of words which Kyungsoo hoped not to be used with his name again, some broken lines on how disappointed you were, and he caught your oh-god-fucking-damn-it type of annoyance against Kyungsoo.

He gave up and knocked your door.

Twice.

There was no sign from you, and Kyungsoo was tired of patiently waiting.

He did his waiting. Seven years. In a fucking friendzone he put himself in.

He aggressively knocked on your door, and he did not stop until you gave up and opened the door.

“Shit.” he cursed when he saw your face. “You look horrible.”

Oh really? you thought.

After leaving Kyungsoo, you did not spend a single second to lock yourself in your secure and lonely room, then you just pressed the right numbers to make a call. Chanyeol was there for you, he listened your rambling and gibberish without a sign of inconvenience. He let you to curse Kyungsoo as much as you wanted, he joined you for the little party of swearing at Kyungsoo and he was generous on his vocabulary.

But you cried even when Chanyeol managed to put a broken smile on your face by telling you maybe Kyungsoo was not interested in girls, otherwise he had to be on his knees for you.

You cried for Kyungsoo more than anything made you cry till now.

Your sadness caught you off guard, even you did not expect to be upset with him like this, your feelings were like a blunt blade, it was turning in your heart over and over, using your own blood to be sharp again, then continuing its spinning in your heart. Pain made you numb; you could do only cry.

Your eyes were puffed and literally red. Your cheeks were red. Your lips were red.

Of course, you looked goddamn horrible as Kyungsoo, this asshole, proudly observed. Applause time for him for his greatest deduction.

“Nothing can escape from your eyes, Sherlock.” you murmured. “Couldn't you pay your attention on the fact that we already passed the midnight? Why are you here?”

“May I come in?” Kyungsoo kindly asked but something in his eyes were telling you to be on your toes and careful.

“No.” You congratulated yourself because of your refined answer. You were an idiot for sure, instead of playing with him and showing that he had no impacts on you, you chose to manifest how much you were broken by him. Good for you.

Transformation started in his eyes. Those chocolate brown and very warm eyes, reminding the deer’ beauty, perfectly shaped as almonds turned into crescents, and it was a bloody indicator of his mood was shifted into something dangerous. He was always quick to switch the moods, but he had never looked intimating at this level. You really could not believe what the heck he did, he just grabbed your fucking wrists, dragged you inside of your fucking room without your permission and pressed you on your fucking wall.

“Kyungsoo, fuck off!” you hissed at him, trying to save yourself from his iron grasp, swallowing hard.

“Tell me just one thing and save both of us from misery.” he whispered; his low-pitched voice gave you goosebumps which you really tried to take no notice of, but your traitor body willingly has been taking everything if the giver was Kyungsoo. “Why did you cry?”

“What if I do not want to tell you?” you lifted your chin, you needed to distance yourself from him, he already ruined the progress just a couple of hours ago. His statement clearly taught you whatever your friendship was not the best way to build a new kind of relationship, and you strongly opposed to be friends with benefits or those kinds of agreements. You would not go for them, you wanted Kyungsoo as your lover, not as your fuckbuddy.

“Do me a favor,” he enunciated each syllable and moved his right hand to your shoulder, pressing you into wall just like he wished to ground you right there. “Tell me.”

He leaned on you, his palm made contact with your shoulder, sliding up to your neck and staying there. His touch was heavy again, hotter than before.

He was goddamn close.

When you tried to save your body from him again, Kyungsoo’s hips rutted against yours.

Well, now you could feel more than before.

“Stop fucking moving!” he grunted, surprising you with the sudden and macho voice tone. He looked like very uncomfortable. “You and your idiotic behaviour!”

“If you do not like it, let me go!” you hissed, but you felt a knot was forming in the pit of your stomach. You were afraid of his impacts on you, especially after that fucking kiss. He had you over there as melted like a chocolate under heat.

Even while you were fighting to free yourself, your eyes unconsciously gravitated along his features, all you could do was thinking of him all the time you had spent with him. Those piercing brown eyes and those plump, smooth and heart-shaped lips that are always set in a witty line, the smallest moles and a couple of freckles all around his tiny nose and rosy cheeks, his long eyelashes, and that bloody soft hair of him, caused you to desire running your fingers through.

He was driving you fucking crazy, and you hated his power on you.

“Oh, believe me if I do not like even your idiotic side,” he leaned forward, closed the little proximity between your bodies and you felt the air left your lungs with your sanity. “I would not kiss you, damn woman.”

You were lost for words, you were run down, the only thing you could voice was an exasperated huff. Kyungsoo stared at you, refusing to loosen his grip around your body, instead he held you for his dear life and his gaze was nothing but absolutely penetrating.

You turned your head, trying to find something else to fix your eyes upon while you had been seeking the meaning of his words about liking your idiotic side.

Did he convey his feelings? Did he really stand for liking you, if he liked even your idiotic side, did it indicate that he liked all of you?

If he kissed you because he liked you, did that kiss imply more than nothing for him?

If yes, why he told you it meant nothing?

“Look at me.” his left hand cupped your face gently, on the contrary of his eyes, burning with fires, you could see the red was invading chocolate brown circles. “Do not avert your eyes.”

You blinked and shut your eyelids tightly. Suddenly, the silence in the room was more palpable than it was before, drowning both of you in a foggy swamp of riddles.

You were pissed off, broken and now, thanks to his complicated words, you were more than confused.

Kyungsoo was pissed off, broken and now, thanks to your complicated reactions, he was more than confused.

“If you were so keen on trying to convince yourself that I meant that kiss was nothing,” his jaw flexed, and his eyes were clouded. “I was trying to make amend for my fault. I should have not kiss you.”

You shivered, despite it was a very hot summer night, and Kyungsoo’s warm body made your temperature skyrocketed.

“Why?” you asked. “You do not make any sense, Kyungsoo.”

“Look, who is talking?” he rolled his eyes back. “You never make any sense about our fucking relationship since the beginning. I told you many times, pay your attention.”

You should be warned to follow the signs. Collect them and find the hidden meaning. Kyungsoo was sure on his patience, he could wait for you as much as you wished, he could give you time as much as you needed, but he had no patience to hide in the shadows anymore.

He knew that his constant shifting between one side to the other surprised you, hell it surprised even himself, he did not think about any of this, but since that kiss happened between you, since Kyungsoo got a taste of you, since he could touch you… Everything was changed.

He did not want to let you go.

He could not let you go.

He was aware of you did not belong to him, maybe you did not perceive Kyungsoo as a man, but he could not be your friend anymore. He wanted to tell you how much he adored you more than before. He wanted to kiss you more than before. He wanted to see your face when he woke up, he wanted to cuddle you when he was sad, he wanted to lean on your shoulder when he was broken, he wanted to cook for you, he wanted to sing for you, he wanted to make you happy, he wanted to make you feel good, he wanted to be your harbour to shelter from the stormy seas, your rock to build your home.

He wanted to live his life with you. He wanted to share even the smallest detail of his fucking life with you.

“I told you that I even like your idiotic side,” he clarified. “And you still avert your eyes from me.”

That ignited the fire of your soul.

“Hell, excuse me for my idiotic side but if I remember correctly and my memory never fails me, I told you that it was fucking okey just before you kissed me, after I shared my catastrophic first kiss experience with you,” your voice was not trembling anymore. It was firm, fuelled by your anger. “Then, all you could say was that kiss stands for nothing. What do you expect me to say?”

“Even if you are upset with me, talk to me!” he frowned. “I ask nothing but your words, truly and fully. Is this too much to expect? Hell, you were the one who said that I am a good guy but not made for you, why you are so upset with me because I made an excuse for that kiss?!”

It was your turn to froze. Kyungsoo finally let you go, he stepped back, and his arms crossed over his chest, but you froze to death. You could not move but looking at his unchanging expression like an idiot he just named it correctly.

“Yes,” you took a deep breath. If Kyungsoo said this to your face, it meant that he wanted you to face a revelation. He wanted you to know that he heard your words about him, the words which you vividly remember as you said them to Chanyeol without knowing that Kyungsoo was able to hear them. If he heard them, you owed an explanation to him. Maybe you were just searching an excuse in the book, but you gave up. You were going to tell him what you think of him. “It was me. I still have the same observation. You are damn good for me, if I would say the opposite, I would be lying my ass off.”

Kyungsoo’s face went blank.

What did you say to him? He wanted you to talk truly, however right now he was nothing but almost regretful what he had said to you. Kyungsoo hoped for you did not mean that for real, he wished it was just a gibberish.

Were you a goddamn fool?

He knew the low level of your self-confidence, but your statement was nothing but the shittiest one he has ever heard.

“What?” he murmured. “You think I am good for you?”

“Yes.” you nod. “Look at yourself, Kyungsoo! You are damn good at everything you do, you are clever, hard-working, funny, firm and always trustable, I even do not go for your physical quality, it is fucking obvious, you are handsome as fuck. Of course, I could not say anything different, you were not made for me.”

Suddenly, your hands became the focus of your attention, you fixed your eyes onto them instead of looking at Kyungsoo, who took his time before registering and recording your words in his brain. Then, his hands started were smashed together unintentionally.

“And during all this time,” he heard his own voice trembling, as if being blown by the brute force that he was trying to contain inside of his chest. “I thought you are the cleverer one.”

“Ha?”

“I really do not understand why I think you can follow the signs I have been giving to you like a bloody idiot.” he could not help but growled at you. “In my opinion, you are the only girl who deserves to feel fucking good, and if I can be that one to bring you to such a high, I would willingly do it.”

“I do not un-

“Because you do not want to see!” Kyungsoo could not control himself but go ballistic because of your blockheadedness. How could a woman be clueless at this level? What should he do, continue to scream at you about his feelings or should he bring a testimony that was approved by lawyers?

Didn’t you understand how much he cared for you?

Didn’t you see his almost tangible desires for you?

Everyone could sense his love for you, but you could fucking not, and Kyungsoo was burned out because of your total ignorance.

“Are you,” your whisper reached to his ears. “Are you interested in me?”

Kyungsoo decided that, on the contrary of your academic success, you were literally a retard.

“Why do you think I follow you everywhere like I am your dog tail?” he clenched his fists. Quickly, he walked towards you, but stopped just in front of your trembling body. “What do you think of me, do I look like a lost puppy?”

“No.” you were offended by his words. Dog tail? Puppy? He was not that much cute at first place with his level of being witty and shitty! However, after one look at him, you were not sure anymore, even he was clearly pissed off, he was fucking gorgeous and cute. “Shit, Kyungsoo, you are annoying.”

“You are the damn annoying one.” Kyungsoo started to question himself, he wanted nothing more than to fuck this attitude out of you right there, in your double sized bed. “All I did was finding an excuse which can make you relaxed with me, and I accepted my failure. I should have neither kiss you nor lie about it. But I did, and I apologize for my misbehaviour. Let’s look at you, you are just asking goddamn questions and ignoring my answers. Who is the annoying one?”

You whipped your head around; your eyes were glistering with a layer of tears, forming in the edges.

“Are you interested in me, or not?” you cried. Kyungsoo glanced up, he registered the sudden stiffness in you, and how you consciously averting your eyes away from him. He remembered that same stiffness invaded your posture when you wanted to learn what happened to your dad while he was in emergency, or you were hopelessly driving into Busan when you received after the news of Chanyeol’s motorcycle crash.

He finally understood what you needed to hear.

You wanted his words.

You wanted him to say those words.

“I have always been interested in you.” he gave up. Your heart jumped into your throat at his blunt answer, you did not know how you feel about this information, having a place in Kyungsoo’s head was something you always hoped for, but never believe it could be real. Half of you thrilled with a delicious excitement, while the other half wanted to run away because of fear.

What if he was going to fuck around with you then ditch you?

What if he was going to try being with you then decide to leave you?

What if he was going to pour happiness into your life, you even could not dream of, then disappear?

Your dilemma was in your head. Carved into your mind, body, and soul.

Your biggest fear was losing Kyungsoo.

“I hate this eerily silence between us.” Kyungsoo cut you off before you could dig yourself into a deeper hole. How could you tell him he was everything and more you wanted from this life? How could you make him to understand how much you devoted yourself to him unconditionally? You watched him with darkening eyes, darkening with your fears, with your concerns, with your worries. Your eyes were dark as the pitch-black. “I am sorry to disturb you. See you tomorrow morning if you want to have a breakfast with me.”

Every layer of privacy and secrecy that you desperately tried to build till now in order to keep your weakest point from him were dissolved when he directly headed to the door. You did not even realize but threw yourself in order to stop him.

“Do not go.” you let the tears fall then and held his toned arm for your dear life. You could not let him to leave you behind, otherwise you would be damned. “Do not leave me, before you really have to do.”

“Why should I have to leave you?” Kyungsoo turned back to you. You saw the hesitation of his moves, he wanted to caress your face, but he was holding himself. “I cannot do it, even if I want to. You are too precious for me, bookworm.”

Your face was softened by his rich baritone voice and the nickname he gave you. Calling you as a bookworm was reserved to Kyungsoo, he beaten the shit out of even Baekhyun when he also called you like Kyungsoo.

“One day you will, Soo.” you were lost in your nightmares, mulling over horrendous scenarios your subconscious had been giving you in a fucking row. “One day someone will steal you from me, one day you will fall in love with a girl and leave me behind.”

Something told you that you should have been keeping this logic to yourself, but you were extremely emotional at the very moment. Your expectations, dreams, fears, hopes, everything was mixed up and conjoined with the amount of sake you just consumed.

You were talkative tonight, something very rare for you and Kyungsoo was happy for that. Even though you had been going through a hell of a night. He was also oversensitive, his mind was clouded by his own dreads and doubts, however when you sharply deducted on his not-existed-because-of-you love affairs, he could not help but chuckled.

“First, I have to see the girls.” his throat was like a sandpaper as he swallowed. The rosy tint on your cheeks was obviously growing, invading your skin, and heading to the south. He hardly took his eyes off your neck and the rest of the direction. “Excuse me, but I have eyes only for you.”

“You cannot say that!” you winced, by fanning your face with your hands.

“Then enlighten me.” he defended himself. “How should I say it? Sorry, but I believe in monogamy.”

Your knuckles paled as your grip around his arm tightened.

How could you name the hunger that driving you into crazy? How could you tell him even looking at him, even if you have not a single clue what was going to be happen, riling you up? You supposedly liberated yourself from Kyungsoo, but tearing his gaze away was impossible for you.

You wanted him. So, fucking bad.

You wanted his hands. His lips. His body.

You wanted his soul. His heart.

You were starting to pull him to yourself without noticing, Kyungsoo’s eyes were widened when you took the initiative to your hands.

Literally.

“Do you remember what I asked to you?” you whispered.

“About?” Kyungsoo exhaled with your unexpected shifting between moods. He did not trust his voice, not now, not when you were so close to him, enough to feel your breath on his lips.

His throat was like the deserts of Egypt right now.

“About teaching me.” you murmured into his fucking ear. “When it comes to touch someone?”

“Yeah.” he swallowed very hard, biting a tsunami of cursing back.

“Will you teach me?” your hands wandered around his arms to his chest and stopped there. “For the future references?”

“If I were you,” he groaned. “I would not think about future references.”

You rolled your eyes, taking your hands back off his body. Kyungsoo caught your hands and put them back on his chest, while he was aggressively dragged you into his arms.

“I am going to teach you.” his eyebrows were furrowed. “How you should be touched.”

Kyungsoo was never going to forget how your eyes glowed after his words with excitement.

He was not sure but it seemed like you wanted him almost like how he wanted you.

Desperately and fucking needy.

He carried you to the bed.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Before Dawn (Levi x Reader)

So, I wrote this mostly in one sitting because I longed to post it on Archive of our own but I'm sure not all people read stories there, so if I can make someone's day brighter with some not so slow slow burn and eventual fluff then I'm in. I hope you enjoy, also I don't know how to add the read more option on mobile

Your face meets the hard, cold pillow of your bed with a loud but somewhat muffled thud. Your room turns darker and darker by each passing second as the sun slowly disappears behind the mountains. When you can't feel any stream of light entering the room you peak outside of your dormitory's window. Another exhausting day has finally come to an end.

Being the youngest member of Erwin's team isn't always as good as many of your comrades picture to be. Most of them believe you're babied, treated softly and specially, which is untrue to any possible extend. If anything, you're practically silenced by your other team members, who are much older and far more experienced than you. You do errands for everyone most the time and you're even assigned paperwork concerning fallen soldiers. You humph quietly. Soldiers can talk and gossip as much as they want, you're used to having to hear a new rumor about every one every passing week anyway.

Time seems to pass slowly as you're laying there, not moving a single inch of your body. In fact you contemplate on weather to even bat an eye to the direction of whoever's poking you. You have been satisfied with not having to talk to anyone for that little time you had to yourself.

"(Y/n) come on, we're just finished forming new squads."

Your much necessary time to relax seems to have to come to an end. It's almost never your choice, whether you get to rest or not that is, but you only sense it's going to get worse now that Erwin has been ranked as the new survey corps commander. A loud groan makes its way out of your barely parted lips. It only takes one second to storm out of your bed and another one to be able to stand still on your feet.

"Uhgh Hange, I hate that they have to do this right now. I was about to go shower." You mumble under your breath, solely with the intention of whining your way out of this situation. There's no such thing as convincing Hange out of pretty much anything anyway though, you scold yourself for believing it's worth the time.

The walk down the corridor is dull and silent and the only noise that can be heard comes from inside the dining hall that you pass without missing a heart beat. It's been a while since you started skipping dinner because your appetite was going down hill. In addition, it's not that Hange even brought up dinner at the sight of the dining hall.

Upon arriving at Erwin's door Hange lifts her hand and steadily knocks twice. You're not even standing on the spot for a second before the familiar word of approval is spoken from inside. Hange practically drags you inside, instantly adding tones of despair into your misery for the night.

Despite your best wishes, everyone in the room has fixed their eyes on you after the squeal you let out due to Hange's rushing movements. "Welcome (y/n)" Erwin speaks and you nod in response before saluting boringly. He urges you to take a stand between Levi and Mike and you comply without even trying to give it a second thought. Even though it's frantically silent in the room in a way you think that a single sound carrying breath could break it while Erwin speaks, you witness as Mike decides to tresspass that.

"You're squad Mike girl!" He whispers to you in a prideful way. His smirk betrays the happiness that has swelled on him by receiving this rank.

"Any questions?" Erwin asks before he forces his voice to come to an halt. Seeing that no one requests to know a thing from him he proceeds to call new squad leaders, one by one to pick members for their teams. Surprisingly enough, Levi gets called after Mike, speculating a peculiar reaction by the remaining veterans, even you, someone who has no place in voicing any object to Erwin's commands.

"Levi's not to doubt, I believe you all know that, and he will be running the new special operations team."

It occurred to you that no one was actually doubting Levi's abilities; most of them had probably been jealous to having to work that hard to receive a rank when he was only in the regiment for a year. However had they known Levi even in the tiniest bit though they'd never have an ounce of jealousy for him. Not that you knew much to beging with. What you had managed to gather from him about his past were a few broken sentences a night he accepted to come and hang out with your squad mates that he only spoke to you as he accompanied you to your barrack upon being forced by Mike.

You sit there, between the two men quietly for the rest of the long meeting and once you're dismissed you practically sprint to the showers. You know the water ought to be freezing cold by now but you preferre to endure this rather than having to wash alongside your female comrades. Growing up, your little given time in the shower was your only rightful privacy and you intend to keep it that way.

The water stops with a twist of your hand at the handle. You search for your towel in the dark and as you set your hands on it you rapidly begin to pat your body dry. Throwing your long nightgown on, you begin stomping out. Momentarily you seem to be in a haze of meaningless thoughts that pass your mind so fast, you can't even get a grip of them, many things seem to occupy your mind lately. New formations, improved harness gear, the news of your mother's death. You can't seem to put your thoughts in order, not for tonight at least. It's only when a deep, monotone voice rings in your ears that you jump and leave a little squeak come out of the depths of your throat.

"Oii"

"Shit! Don't sneak up on me like that" you wonder if you have to address him but in the end you do; in the end of the day you are one of formalities and everyone who knows you can confirm that. "sir.."

Levi simply clicks his tongue in response. You're the first person to address him as a commanding officer as of now, probably because every one else would need a moment to take it in, including himself.

"Thanks for making Isabel feel welcome back then." Levi's voice is barely louder than a whisper yet it never cracks, not even a little but that isn't what's taking you aback. The statement, in fact, sends you literally a few steps back and shoots your hand to your forehead in an act of despair. The cruel scene still plays in your head from time to time and you wonder how many times it must do so in his. You find your heart stopping for a moment before you feel a teeny flicker that sends your pulse running through your veins.

It's natural for someone not to be able to comprehend trauma in ways they are expected or rather forced to. Levi in particular is introverted and moody, if not most, then all of the time but this statement shines a different light on your understanding of his character. He's as emotionally drained and traumatized as someone can be. In fact, everyone is but this doesn't mean ones personal pain is lessened, in your opinion it makes it even worse.

"Not everyone is taught mannerisms I guess. The girls who made her feel unwanted can eat shit anyways."

It's obvious that Levi doesn't want to utter another word of the matter and you're not the one to push him out of his comfort zone. An uptight upbringing and the misfortunus chance of interacting with superficial assholes for equal parts of your life have taught you how to have temperament. To be patient even when you physically can't take it anymore.

"Tch.. Go to your barracks you're dismissed." It's time to bid eachother goodnight and of course Levi's eager to be the one to remind you of it. Tomorrow's a big day with everything you have to take care of after today's events. No cadet should be unable or not in position to assist by command.

"Sweating the chair already I see."

____

The next day starts with Nanaba waking you up. You take some time to adjust your eyes to the semi lit room. It strikes you how some people have always talked about how they missed feeling the magic of watching an eventual sunrise and even if you can see where they're coming from you're reminded every day of how much you despise every single aspect of it. Starting off with the runny nose it always bears for you as a hatred gift.

"I know it's kind of first thing in the morning but we have to help squad leader clean the office he was given.

Then again maybe you're just envying anyone who got to be woken up by sun's glowly warmth once it was already up in the sky.

"Hey, psst, don't zone out, get dressed."

Erratically, you skip breakfast. You fail to be in the mood for food lately most likely due to exhaustion or general disgust of whatever soup dish you are to be served. Your stomach has stopped trying to object to you since a young age. The only thing that ever makes it groan nowadays is guilt. With that devil of mother dead though it's not like you have anything to feel guilty for anyways.

"So here's your mop." Mike forces the object into your hands before you even get a chance to greet him. "Okay I repeat. Nanaba scrubs, (y/n) mops, Henning waxes. Lynne and Tomas you dust everything off. Understood?" All of you salute him with a 'yessir' before you watch him exit the room.

You spend most of your morning scolding Nanaba to go faster before you ultimately decide to switch places with her. You want to be over with cleaning, although you have no idea as to why but you do find yourself imagining that Levi sees you cleaning and thinks you're amazing at it and asks you to help him far too many times to count. You end up scolding yourself for that too. Nevertheless, it takes almost half an hour to finish with scrubbing, something you guess would have taken Nanaba eternity and a day.

Any sweat that's falling down your forehead you rub it off with the back of hand before you excuse yourself to a break. Seeing that no one will follow you stroll swiftly down the wooden hallway, with the restrooms in mind. You walk past Mike on the way, whom you greet cheerfully while fast informing him about your break. You're positive he practically smell your bladder is about to burst.

______

Tonight Hange draggs your unwilling piece of meat to dinner. She takes you to her usual table and sits you down amongst higher ranks. Some part of your brain fights you about not taking a stand against it. Your mother has always pressed for you to not enjoy what other in higher hierarchies have. But that's just a wooden fucking table with a stall. The voice in your head can shut it.

"Eat." Hange looks at you with a toothy grin, head tilted in your direction as she a eats a spoonful of her vegetable soup. You still feel an excessive amount of absurd guilt about raising objections so you smile back and stuff a portion of the food in your mouth with the intention of gulping it down as fast as possible. And of course Levi doesn't fail to notice the look of disgust in your face from across the table.

"Eat" Mike orders from Levi's left, gesturing to your plate with his spoon, an awkwardly soft smile plastered on his face. It beats you as to why they've decided to be persistent tonight out of all nights.

"Tch, show some respect to the people who work on your daily food. Drop that disgusted face or take cooking duty for the week."

With a pout in your lips you avert Levi's gaze in anger and overall shame. You lift the bowl containing the soup and you gulp it down as you try to ignore the knot at the back of your throat that threatenes to push back everything if you continue forcing your body to endure this.

Mike seems to be physically scolded to look at you because you see him jump in shock due to the unexpected action towards him for a fragment of a second. He takes no real interest in scolding you however, something that puts pressure on Levi for the matter.

"You just earned yourself cooking duty for the week, keep this up and Mike won't be as lenient as me." He talks sternly as he bores his eyes into yours. The unreadable lack of expression in his face remains intact, as always, but once again you choose to look away.

"Can I be dismissed?" You simply utter while your orbs take turns to look between Hange and Mike.

"Shoo shoo, I'm not pushing you girl" Mike pays little attention to you as he chunks on his bread with his eyes shut. If looks could kill you swear he would have been slashed to death by both Hange and Levi. To your luck of course, they can't, so you sit up from the stall in the most discreet way possible. Hange observes in silence as Levi's eyes follow your form across the room until you take a turn to get lost in the barracks. He then averts his gaze to the bowl of soup in front him for the remaining of his time in the dining hall.

It's one of those nights that you decide not to throw your whole body, face first, onto your bed; you've abused it very much in this way, the last thing you need to is for it to break apart and take down the twin bed on top of it. You sigh deeply before you bring your hands to cover your face in hopes that it will soothe your tingling skin.

Why was that silly little scenario of Levi watching you clean still stuck in your head all day long and why did it keep repeating over and over. To be clear with yourself, you didn't really know.

Your other roommates start flooding the room in a matter of seconds. It's always like that; the come back from dining and they chit chat for a few minutes before some of them go to sleep while others decide on showering before taking their given amount of rest for the night.

"(Y/n) lift your fucking head up you look like a corpse." Nifa, the girl who sleeps on the bed on top yours speaks.

"Not in the mood Nif. I'm sorry."

"You could try and talk to us!" Petra says on response, cutting Nifa off.

"I just don't want to cook for everyone. That's all." You spit a lie that's debatably believable. The girls that starts probing the walls of your stomach almost feels like liquid fire.

Did they really want to know the truth, or would they be disgusted by whatever came out of your mouth. Almost every one in the survey corps had a rough backstory and a purpose, and though you didn't lack of tragic and despair your purpose was pathetic and delusional.

"Look, I hate to see you like that and well you've been that moody way that before that punishment tonight. So spill."

"I don't want to be a burden!"

"Cut the crap." Lynne rhetored as she sat at the end of your bed, pinching your calf.

Well, you're probably annoying them by not letting any one of them in. "My mother died."

A few apologies and condolences are heard in response by the girls around you as they stare at you with oggly pitiful eyes.

"She was horrible and old no need to be sorry, I'm just conflicted on whether I loved her or not. I'm just unfazed but my mind guilt trips me on it." Your words are soft and your gaze fixed on the wooden floor underneath your legs. "I don't want to go into much abusive details, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise!" Petra exclaims from her kneeling position next to you. "It's fine if you don't tell us anything. We shouldn't have pushed you." The girls all nod in response and the mood seems to darken the rooms aura with each silently passing second.

"I thought it was like boy problems" Lynne says as she wraps her right arm around your shoulder and squeezes you on her. Her palms quickly travel straight to your cheeks to poke and squish them in the most humorus way. "Tomas likes me and I avoid him, give me a breeak!"

You can't help but give a muffled giggle out to her. It's almost as if you approve of her little impression of you, and you do, mostly because laughing helps you take a weight off your chest. All girls around you are giggling in their turns with closed eyes, happily narrowed brows and scrunched up noses.

You shouldn't even let yourself be that moody anywayy.

___

To say that Levi is merely perplexing would be an understatement. Because here's the deal; no one could maintain such a straight face while pinning someone down. You're basically a lost cause as you maniacally move your head on the grass to avoid his gaze. Mentally you try to recall what brought you in this position in the first place. Was it because you challenged him to engage in combat or because he was a complete show off, it's beyond you at this point.

"I have your knife."

"What?" Levi looks at you with the tinniest bit of a puzzled impression plastered all over his face. Yet he doesn't get up from you. In the end he can't even know that you feel your skin burning with rage.

"I have your knife, sir. I won" you remark in a tiny little voice from the back of your throat.

"Tch, just because you have the knife doesn't mean your opponent won't attack you or even use that against you." Levi's voice is also calm and steady and even matching your tone in volume. You watch with anticipation as he opens his mouth to speak and when words begin to form he's interrupted.

"Ah sir, I want to spare with you as well!" Petra smiles as she fixes some lose strands of hair behind her ears.

Deciding to spend anymore time on this position on top of you, Levi pushes your wrists on the ground once again before completely getting off of you. You realise he's taken the dummy knife him, something he probably did in the blink of an eye. Of course he'd make his point whatever it took.

Training has stripped your stomach of the fullness that breakfast has secured you with and now you can hear the organ growl angrily inside your body. Having spent a week as the survey corps cook as a punishment has also worked wonders for your little appetite, because it physically drained you to the bone. You don't even know where to start about that unexpected shenanigan.

Unbeknownst to you, Nanaba and Lynne roll their eyes at your blanked expression. "Wall Maria to (y/n)? Hello? Is anyone in there?" An inpatient Lynne knocks a little too loud at the side of your head. Nifa laughs at the sight as well.

"Ohhh, I am." You whine. "Also ouch! I'm just not in my right head!"

"You uhm... mean piece of mind?" A few pieces of bread fall out of Nanaba's hand as she stuffs her mouth. It only takes a while to come up with a line to say to excuse your absurdness.

It's not that you want to feel that way about Levi or that you choose to either. It's probably an outcome of fatigue and a tiny infatuation that rule your mind like an empire that's about to fall. Levi's handsome, there's no denying in that, you've thought so ever since you set your eyes on him but he was ten years older than you and pretty much uninterested to almost everything. Maybe it's that you hoped he could look at you with the same enthusiasm that made you feel like you had a crush.

In reality you believe that these are pretty much lame reasons and Nanaba especially will laugh at you. 'Do you even have a reason to have a crush on someone?' Ugh, you can literally listen to her.

"Hmm, sorry I can't seem to communicate today. Might as well share." You decide it's not polite to keep things to yourself when others are trying to care for you. "Well it's that-"

"Do you guys find the Captain handsome?"

As always thanks for reading 👉❤️👈 if you have any request you can pop one in my askbox. Feedback is always appreciated, I really love seeing your opinions, they keep me motivated. I adore you guys

[ch99rry]

1-102? 😁😁😁

omg ur gonna kill me

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

i think the last person who told me they loved me was my mother lmao so im pretty sure she meant it

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

mmmm i mean i would if they were comfortable with it. im 17 so its not that much of an age difference but im still underage but idk

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

LMAO NGL IT WAS WHEN I WAS SITTING NEXT TO MY BOYFRIEND (i feel like its too early to call him that......) DURING LUNCH. AS MUCH AS I WAS HAPPY THAT HE WAS THERE I WAS ALSO RLLY MAD THAT IM SO AWKWARD WITH HIM

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i mean??? yeah???

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

omg yeah probably coughdominiccough

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

yepppp it was where are you by taeil i think

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

uhh my caltech hoodie and some gray sweatpants

8. How often do you listen to music?

like every minute of everyday. i will always listen to music

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

probably sweats since i dont normally wear jeans during the week (i have uniforms at my school)

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

...what?

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

both??? im very social and open with my friends but its hard for me to talk to groups of people (even if its just like 10-15 people) and people im not that close to

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

hmmm nope

13. What about ‘R’?

nope

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

UM NOPE PROBABLY NOT

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

g o d y e s

16. Are you going out of town soon?

i dont think i am

17. When was the last time you cried?

uhhh tuesday? yeah tuesday

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeyeye

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

mmm maybe... i kinda want a lighter brown but idk

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

PARK CHANYEOL PARK CHANYEOL PARK CHANYEOL PARK CHANYEOL PARK CHANYEOL PARK–

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

uh well the day im having is over so

idk what i disliked tbh. maybe during lunch when my bf’s friends forced him to sit with my friends and i while at the same forcing me to sit with them

that was so embarrassing lmao

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

YES YES YES YES YES except i got acne and shit on my forehead so its kinda gross

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

mmmm nah

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yeye!! my best friend aleks!!

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

GOD Y E S

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

aleks!!

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

nah

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

caltech

30. Does anyone hate you?

yeah definitely lmao

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

nah

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

eh not really but i’ll watch them anyway

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

nah

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

probably freshman year

35. Did you have a dream last night?

none that i recall

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

yesterday?? i think

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

mmm probably not

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

umm yes?? hopefully my bf???

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

y e s??? h ope f u l ly my b f????

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

mmm yeah! i would consider it a good day

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

nah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

mmmm i dont think i will

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

mmm probably aleks but idk i dont remember. in a romantic way, no one

44. What’s the best part about school?

def my friends

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

yep

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

mmm nah bc all my teachers have been so chill with my friends and i bc we’re like the smart group of kids

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Y E S

48. Were you single over the last summer?

yep

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

oh god no. if my life were anything like two years ago i would probably be dead by now

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

sleeping lmao

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

nahh

52. Are you nice to everyone?

i try to be but if someone pisses me off lmao i’ll go off on them

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yepppp (i had a crush on two of my gay friends lmao)

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

ofc!! cheating is literally the worst thing you could do in a relationship (besides kill them...)

plus i dont wanna hurt jaydon by cheating on him omg :((

also who tf would i cheat on him with wtf

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

mmm yeah. not so much online but in person im p good at hiding my feelings

56. Do you think you like someone?

uh???? yes????

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

GOD I WISH

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

lmao this is a dumb question

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

probably franchesca

60. Do you hate anyone?

GOD YES

61. How’s your heart?

its... p okay rn i guess. i got some insecurities still but im in a good place rn i think

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yeah kinda

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

lmao who do u think i am? of course i have

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

probably zu

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

nah

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

mmm i hope not!!

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

i mean. sure? if he did it in front of me, i’d be glad that hes being open but i cant imagine jaydon crying lmao

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

nah

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

mmmm rene or kat

70. How do you look right now?

like a mess

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yes!!!!

72. Can you commit to one person?

OFC

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

mmm yeah

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

oh my god yes

75. Did you wake up cranky?

today? a little bit

76. Are you a jealous person?

yeah i get p jealous and paranoid easily

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes!! maybe not if u get rlly bad paranoia and anxiety but im trying to work past my paranoia and rlly enjoy this

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

nope

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

y e ss

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to a roller rink!!

81. Last person you cried in front of?

uhhh i dont think ive cried in front of someone in y e a r s

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

my best friend from 3rd grade

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

lmao i would like to think he is but im not sure, i’d have to ask

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably watching a movie. i rlly wanna watch train to busan with someone (preferrably him lmao)

85. Are you over your past?

more or less

i still think about the past year or two with kat, alex, and tay but everything before then im p okay with

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

y e

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

yep

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

first true love??? uh??? true love is a dumb concept???

also my first love already apologized for being a dick to me and i already accepted it lmao

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

uh no thanks

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

mmm nah

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

i hope so!!

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yepp and hes a loser senior :^)))

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nope

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

i mean??? i guess?? he was also kind of a dick

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

ye shes p cute (it was aleks lmao)

97. Who do you have texts from?

what does this even mean

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

i would honestly cry but even if i felt crushed (which i would be) i wouldn’t be surprised bc i think all the time that im not good enough for him. besides that, i feel like the last option tbh. like after leeloo and franchesca, its me, and i know im probably overthinking that but i cant help but feel that way. so yeah i’d probably tell him its doesnt surprise me but i’d still be upset

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

nope

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

uhhh thats chanyeol

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

nah

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yes!!!!