#but I won’t be able to talk about it with you which will make me sad
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help a girly out here and teach me how to masturbate step by step pls
TMI/OPEN THOUGHTS
Let’s see… I haven’t masturbated in a while because I be busy and my sleep schedule is actually giving me justice, but when I use to stay up, I’ll tell you what I did step by step… man I feel like a teacher 😭
1. PRIVACY
this is obvious, but some idiots get caught, so yeah if you’re able to, LOCK your door, me in a strict house hold, I don’t even have locks, but I never got caught either. So if you don’t have locks on your door or unable to even close it (cuz some parents be doing that), go to the bathroom or better yet, wait til everyone sleep.
If you’re a moaner, pillow rider, vibrator user, dildo user, turn your TV UP!!! Even if you don’t moan, big mama makes SQUELCHING noises, I’m talkin she be wet, so you don’t want no one walking past and be like “WTH?”
2. GET AROUSED.
mindlessly masturbating is such a waste, so I say really set the mood. Turn off the lights or dim them, or better yet LED lights. Optional if you wanna wear sum sexy. To get aroused properly, watch something that you’re attracted to, whether its lesbians, straight sex, BBC, roleplay, etc. whatever that ain’t my business, but if you aren’t able to (say if your parents took your device or your internet is just trash.) USE YOUR IMAGINATION. While imagining whatever you fantasize, caress your inner thighs, knead or suck your own tits, suck your fingers, slowly rub your clit through your underwear, etc.
3. HOW TO MASTURBATE 101 🤓
I ain’t no fingering ass bitch cuz I don’t feel a fuck thing so… As WOMEN, we should know where the clit is (I hope cuz if not where tf have you been?) anyway…. Depending on your anatomy, your clit has a hood (heavy skin) because it’s so fucking sensitive bro. I found out people don’t be feeling nun when they rub big mama is because y’all ain’t pulling the hood up, the mf ain’t cold, take the hood off!! BUT I MUST WARN YOU. Don’t rub yourself too hard because it could be hurtful and could possibly lose feeling on your clitoris, so if you’re rough with your fingers or overly sensitive, keep the hood over it, but if you’re not, PULL IT UP.
Now using your MIDDLE and RING fingers, it’s different strokes people use. The most commonly used one is circulating around it and rubbing side to side. But I’ll tell a little secret.
The way I get off involves 3 techniques.
First, I start off slow, controlled, and even roll my hips with it. Now after some time, I’m aroused, using my arousal as lube y’all hear me out… then i stimulate more by going faster, but soft on the touch. Once I feel like I’m ready, I press harder and go all out, then GOT YA! I’m a edger! I stop when I’m about to cum and slap it a bit to keep her stimulated. Yeah, yeah I know, I get mad TOO when I feel my high go down, but repeating it like 4 times, best nut you’ll experience.
So I circulate, go side to side, and spank her cuz why not. When I’m real horny and feeling rushed, it takes me 10 minutes, but if I have time, 30+.
4. HOW TO CLEAN UP
Now…. Me, this is from experience, I be all over the place. So I go to the bathroom, flush away that water weight, wash my hands and if you’re a squirter (which im not), girl you should already have a towel under you cuz who feel like changing sheets tbh… and NEVER masturbate with underwear, take them off before you even start.
Now people hate talking about it, but YES, masturbating has a smell and you probably won’t smell it because you’re the one doing it, but if another person walk in, they will smell a musky scent SIMPLY because your vagina is an open ORGAN closed with thighs, and you know what creates that? Heat! And you know what heat creates on your body? Sweat. And what SHOULD sweat smell like (since y’all be dirty a lil). MUSK. So to eliminate that smell around the whole room, keep your lower half under covers, use a candle, spray air freshener, keep the air on, inscents or whatever those are called. WHATEVER JUST BLOCK OUT THE SMELL.
And that’s all I got tbh….
#kpop stan#open thoughts#girl talk#i’m so gay#i’m just a girl#teen masturbatiom#teaching#enhypen smut#enhypen#subby thoughts#nishimura riki#kim sunoo#lee heeseung#jake sim#park sunghoon#enhypen niki#i need that#lgbtqia#send anons#send asks#k pop smut#tmi#tmi tuesday
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Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)
Fascinating!
patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me
I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3
“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?
lmao literally
Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.
It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.
honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though
God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.
TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!
cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman
it’s insane to me that ‘it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now
we've regressed
when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me
unfortunately radfem juice is addictive
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strnilolover’s appreciation post !!
i’ve been seeing everyone do this and i feel as though it’s only right to do the same because i have to many amazing people who i’ve gotten to know and interact with on the time i’ve been on here for. <3
i want everyone to know that i love you ALL. i am so proud of each and everyone of you and i’m ALWAYS here when ever you need me or what to talk!
there’s so many more amazing people, but these right here are pretty much my ride or die’s and i would do anything for them just to see them happy!
@hearts4werka - vera, you were one of the first people that i talked to in my dm’s ever. tbh i was so nervous to at first because you are one of the people i look up to. you’ve always been so supportive and such a sweet soul every-time we talk. your writing is amazing and i love when we’re able to share ideas with one another. you’re full of so much energy even when it’s late at night for you or early in the morning. always saying good morning to me or telling me to get my ass to bed when i need to. i love all of your series and im so excited to see what others you come up with in the future as well as au’s! please dont ever die. i love you!
@adoreechxmpion - bri, when we first started talking it was so fun right off the bat. and the way we met was undeniably hilarious. i love talking to you when i get the chance, you always brighten up my day and make me feel happy. your writing too is just *chefs kiss*. i also love hearing about your day and how you’re doing when you tell me. you’re always so so sweet and such a lovable person, even when things get rough for you. i love you!
@sturniqloo - lili, we started talking through bri and honestly it’s been AMAZING. you are such a hype woman fr and your bots that you make are to fucking die for. you’re always so kind and was willing to help me with my dealer!chris when i was having a hard time trying to figure him out. i always love talking to you even if we have such a big time difference. i love you!
@endereies - kay, we just started talking about a week ago (or less) and it feels like i’ve known you for a while which is crazy. i love spilling my thoughts to you and it’s always fun to see little pictures or videos of what you’re doing when you send them to me. if i’m being honest, i was also nervous to talk to you because i see you as one of the bigger accounts on here, and your writing is to die for. but, you’re such a sweet person and someone who isn’t afraid to share their mind (dirty or not LMAO). i love you!
@victoriassadcorner - vee, i met you through bri as-well. i know we haven’t talked much, but it’s always fun seeing you and bri interact and knowing that i can jump in the conversation and you guys won’t mind. you are such a kind hearted soul and deserve every good thing that you get. (we need to talk more!!). i love you!
@phone4pills - slow, we don’t talk very often or interact as much as i want to but i will make sure to do that more! you’re such an inspiration and someone i also look up to when i’m writing or making au’s. you are so so sweet and gentle, letting me come into your inbox and talk about anything and everything when i do decide to. your writing and au’s are LITERALLY amazing. i’m so glad i was able to meet someone like you. i love you!
@cayleeuhithinknott - caylee, we may also not interact much, but when we do i absolutely love it! i was here for your other account before it got banned, being an anon on it because i still get scared to make requests for things or send in ideas even when i shouldn’t be. but when i did reveal myself, you were so happy and it felt like such a relief. i’m still sad that tumblr decided to remove your other account for no reason because your works on there were amazing and your works now still are! i definitely want to talk more in the future! i love you!
@bernardsbendystraws - rose, you were someone i didn’t even think i would be mutuals with. but i’m glad that we are. when ever i talk to you or pop up in your inbox, you’re always so kind and sweet. you’re someone i definitely look up to big time when it comes to writing, seeing how you piece your works together and how good they are and how much sentimental value they have to you makes me admire you that much more. and you’re such a talented writer. we may not talk much, but it’s always so fun when we do! i love you!
@sagesturns - sage, i always love when you pop into my inbox! telling me about what you’re doing or how your day is going and asking about mine in return. i always love hearing about what you’re working on too!! and your writing? i absolutely love it. you’re such an easy person to talk to and ease into conversations with! and i just want you to know that i am proud of you! i love you!
@sturniololuv08 - bri, honestly it was a surprise on how easily i slid into conversation with you one day when you started talking to me. we’ve only been talking for a little over a month and you’ve been nothing but an amazing person! and you’ve introduced me to some really great people like @chrissbug333 and @abbilmao . your writing is absolutely amazing and i love hearing all the wild ideas that run through your head and what things you’re writing and hearing the process of how they’re written out. you work so hard, not just in writing, but in real life too. always busting your ass and not getting enough sleep, that’s something i admire because i want to be just as hard working and driven as you are even if it’s hard to be. i love you!
@marrykisskilled - i absolutely ADORE you. you always like my posts and when you talk to me you’re just the SWEETEST. you also reblog my writing when i post and it makes me so so happy. i would absolutely love to talk to you more! i know you’re such a kind person just from how you interact with others and myself. i love you!
@strniloslvts - angie, you are such a talented writer!! your book that you’re writing right now is absolutely amazing so far and i LOVE IT. i also love when you come into my inbox a million times a day to ask how i’m doing or to tell me about what you’re doing. you always interact with my posts too and it makes me happy to know that you enjoy them! i definitely want to talk more to you whenever you have the chance! i love you!
@bluestriips - adelaide, you are SUCH A HYPE WOMAN. you’re always reblogging my posts and writings and i absolutely adore you for it!! you’re always so sweet to me and everyone i see you interact with! i haven’t gotten a chance to read your stuff on wattpad but i promise i will get to it and when i do i will let you know how much i LOVE IT. we don’t talk much but i want to! you seem like such a nice person and i can see it in little pieces that are here on tumblr. i love you!
@biieberfever - you are always sending me ideas and asks about my writings and au’s! i have you to thank for my adhd!reader au that i write for. we may not talk much, but your writing is amazing even if you’re only starting out! i love when we’re able to talk because you’re ideas are so good and i just know that when you post more writings, theyre just going to get better! i love you!
@ariestrxsh - aries, your writing is LITERALLY AMAZING. every-time i read it, it literally makes me just want to keep coming back because you have such an amazing way of constructing your works. your pizza boy chris and chratt fics? 😮💨 blows me away every time i read them. you’re so sweet to your anons and to whoever talks to you! and your advice you give them or telling them it’ll be okay really shows how much of an amazing person you are. i would love to talk more! i definitely have to pop into your inbox more lmao. i love you!
@chrislilcumslvt - marls, you are normally always one of the first people to like any of my things when i post and are just so so active. i literally love how sweet you are and how funny you are when interacting with others. and i see the way you comfort people, i know it takes a toll to be a person to comfort others but you are such an amazing soul! and how the first time we ever talked in my dm’s was to show you what i looked like and how SWEET YOU WERE TO ME??? i literally love you so much and want to talk to you more!!
@sweetshuga - isa, i am SO proud of you and how far you’ve come in such a short amount of time. the hype and love you get on your fics are so very deserved. your writing is phenomenal and i eat it up EVERY time. i loved our little talk session we had the other night, you just get me and i LOVE IT. you are literally so pretty and so so so talented and kind. i’m so glad i was able to stumble across and meet you! we definitely need to talk more <3
@ifwdominicfike - avery, your writing is so so so good (especially that sub!chris blurb earlier? OMG) i love everytime i get tagged in a new work of yours because i know it’s going to be good every time. i also love whenever you interact with me or reblog my things! it’s always so fun having our little interactions. i’m definitely going to talk to you more because you seem like such a awesome person! i love you!
@shadowthesim - honey, you are someone who i will talk to here and there. and everytime we do, i enjoy it! i’m so glad you decided to start posting your writings because you are AMAZING! and i had such a fun time trying to teach you how to use the gradient text and even helping you when you needed it! i’m so glad your fics get attention because they deserve them!! never stop writing boo, you’re doing amazing! i love you!
and to @her-favorite-deactivated2024111 who is no longer on here - kendra, you were the first person i ever started to talk to when i didn’t even have any writings on my blog. i always sent you ideas i had or little requests as talking to you through your inbox was such fun. you are such a sweet and kind person and i was lucky enough to have found you because if i didn’t, i probably wouldn’t be posting my writings and i wouldn’t have found all these amazing people i know today. you pushed me to post what i wrote, telling me that the right audience would love it and support me for it, and you were right. your writings were so amazing and i’m still sad that you decided to leave. but, i know it was for your own health! i’ll still be here when you decide to come back, for now i know you deserve a break to focus on yourself. i love you so much <3
#ᯓ★ strnilolover#gabs moots!#gabs yaps!#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#moots appreciation#appreciation post#appreciation#2024 appreciation#sturniolo tumblr#sturniolo posts#the sturniolos
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sleep troubles ( ~ 900 words )
requested by @f1shb0n3sz . sorry this took awhile. i've never really thought about cassandra honestly so this was a welcome challenge for me. i did my best to characterize her well but i'm not super familiar with her character so apologies if she is ooc. i don't really plan on doing a lot for her as i'm just not as familiar with her but here ya go : ) if any of the baby lore is inaccurate i apologize i'm not particularly familiar with babies (*_ _)人. i hope this is okay ! a little shorter than usual i apologize. arcane masterlist here , upcoming list here
summary : cassandra helps you , who struggles with insomnia , get to sleep. a cg ! cassandra kiramman fic.
tags / warnings : sfw agere , arcane agere , boyre , babyre , mommy ! cassandra , little ! masc reader , reader struggles with insomnia , fluff , minor hurt comfort — a bit of crying and anxious thoughts from baby but mommy calms you right down , arcane x reader , talk of baby ! caitlyn , bottle feeding , not proofread </3
Cassandra walks into your room, having heard your continuous babbles over the baby monitor. The councilor looks tired, dark circles beginning to form beneath her striking teal blue eyes. “Now now, my darling,” she begins to scold gently. “Look at the time, love. Time for little ones like you to be asleep.” You continue to babble, excited to see your mommy, reaching out your arms towards her. She sighs but comes over to your crib which she had specially made by commission for you.
She scoops you up, sitting you on her lap in the rocking chair next to your crib. She bounces you on her lap, before giving you a bit of a stern look. “Why aren’t we asleep, hmm?” She’s concerned, it’s well past midnight by now, pushing one o’clock. She recalls that when Caitlyn was this small, barely a year and a half, she had slept nearly constantly. Like clockwork at 6:45 every evening she’d come sleepily toddling, half scooting by means of a coffee table or armchair, ready for a kiss and a cuddle from mommy, falling asleep almost the second she was placed in her crib. You, however, as she’s come to know, are a different story.
You whine. It’s not that you don’t want to sleep. But you just can’t. “Use your words please. Can you do that for Mummy?” she prompts you. “A whine simply won’t do on its own.”You grumpily huff, wishing she could read your mind. Words are hard when you’re so small. She tuts at you, chuckling a bit. “Now now, let’s not get grumpy. Mummy can’t help you if you don’t speak up. Aren’t you feeling sleepy?”
You shrug. You are feeling rather tired but sleep just won’t come! She waits patiently for you to speak. She’s quite no nonsense like that; you know you won’t be able to worm your way out of explaining the situation to her. “‘Somnia,” you mumble, a bit embarrassed. You squirm in Cassandra’s lap, mind straying to the possibility of her being ashamed, or embarrassed by you. Perhaps she’ll think you’re too difficult, or maybe even a bad boy.
You begin to fuss at these thoughts. She’s surprised when you open your mouth, beginning to cry. She gasps quietly, alarmed by your cries. She brings you closer to you, rubbing your back soothingly. “Oh hush now, my little love. You’re okay, everything is okay,” she soothes softly. “You have insomnia, hmm? Is that correct?”
You nod slowly, sniffling as you wipe your tired teary eyes. “Shhh, how about I help you get to sleep tonight, prince? Would that be alright?” You nod, appreciatively, babbling a bit in response.
“Mamamababa,” you say, and she chucks your chin, smiling.
“There’s my sweet boy,” she says lovingly. She thinks for a moment. “How about I make you a bottle of some nice sleepytime tea? That would be quite nice, wouldn’t it now?” You cock your head, pondering that idea for a minute. Tea? You don’t drink a lot of that, it’s more for grownups like Mommy. You nod eagerly, clinging to Cassandra’s ruffled white undershirt so she has no choice but to stand up with you in her arms, placing you on her hip.
Typically she’ll have the servants make your bottles, being far too busy with council activities during the day to make them herself. By now, though, everyone is asleep in their quarters aside from the two of you. She puts on the kettle, pacing the large kitchen as she bounces you on her hip waiting for the tea to be ready.
She hums softly to you. She has a sweet but rusty singing voice, not having used it in years. She sticks to humming a soft tune that Caitlyn used to adore. The humming soothes you even further, and you begin to feel sleepier, closing your eyes while you wait for Mommy to get your bottle ready.
A short while later she’s pouring the warm tea into a bottle, tightly fastening the top, smiling proudly to herself. She carries you back to your room, situating herself and you back in the rocking chair. You make grabby hands for the bottle and she experimentally tests it to make sure it’s a proper temperature. “Mmmm, it tastes nice. Perfect for my little love,” she comments, allowing you to taste your first sip of the warm liquid.
You giggle, squirming with delight. It does taste good. She boops your nose and you smile around the bottle, suckling at it eagerly. Before it’s even half empty you feel your eyelids beginning to droop. “Someone’s pretty tired, hmm?” the councilor teases gently. You hum in response. “You all done, sweet boy?”
“Mmmmm,” you hum, nodding slightly. She picks you back up, placing the bottle on top of your dresser and gently spinning the mobile above your crib. “Ababa…” you babble sleepily. She carefully places you in bed, tucking you in snuggly, giving both you and your lion stuffie a gentle kiss on the forehead.
She sits back down on the rocking chair, rocking back and forth slowly, determined to stay with you until you’re fast asleep. She softly begins to sing you a lullaby, hearing you sleepily moving in your bed. She sings you the one about the mockingbird, Caitlyn always liked that one. Her voice is a bit husky but you don’t have any complaints, allowing yourself to drift off to the sound of your mommy’s lullaby.
#U^ェ^U#arcane#arcane agere#agere fic#agere writing#cassandra kiramman#arcane x reader#fandom agere#boyre#babyre#male reader#baby regression#boy regressor#agere#sfw agere#age regression#agere blog#sfw interaction only#agere community#cassandra kiramman x reader
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a baby miracle: christmas special
“Twee.”, mumbled your little baby, pointing at the poorly decorated Christmas tree in your living room. Actually the tree wasn’t that bad - your baby was still able to recognize it.
You smiled lovingly at her tone and picked her up, placing a big kiss on her chubby cheek. “My smart baby. Yes that is a tree.”, you nodded and kissed her again, until she rebelled and started whining. Placing her down to play with her toys so you check on your cookies, you heard the familiar roar of Benny’s motorcycle.
The tray of baked cookies was out of the oven, just after seconds of you flinching from the burning metal. The motor ceased running and moments later the door swung open.
“Daddee!”, the sweetest squeal was heard from the living room, an automatic smile finding its way on your lips. You grabbed a spatula and placed each cookie on a colorful plate to cool.
“Hey baby.”, Benny’s unmistakeable voice startled you. You turned around, placing a hand over your heart as he laughed at your reaction. “I don’t understand how you couldn’t hear me with Tilly right here.”, and just as he described, your baby girl was on his hip, talking baby talk to her daddy.
“Cat feet.”, you raised an eyebrow at his sock-covered feet to which he simply shrugged. Instead of commenting he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips.
“They were out of powdered sugar, baby.”, he murmured against your lips. You whined at his words and pulled back. “Hey- Not like I was the one driving around in the snow and doing you a favor. Come on keep me warm baby.”, Benny went in for another kiss, but with a hand on his chest, you pushed him away.
Benny groaned and then pressed a kiss to Matilda’s cheek. “You’ll let daddy kiss you, won’t you bee? Yes.”
Matilda shook her head and leaned away. “Daddee cold.”
Your plans were officially ruined.
How could you finish the dessert without the key ingredient? Especially with guests showing up in three hours?
You swallowed the lump in your throat, suddenly feeling like just bawling your eyes out. But Benny knew you well enough that you rejecting one of his kisses meant that certain dots weren’t connecting. So he tried to lighten the tension.
“Crazy people buying sugar on Christmas. Who needs cookies anyways?”, he said in a joking tone, bouncing Matilda on his hip as careless giggles filled the sweet kitchen air.
You didn’t react to Benny’s joke. You turned around and gripped the kitchen counter, forcing your eyes shut, hoping that no tears would come out.
Benny’s brows furrowed in concern. He glanced at his daughter and set her down, watching her crawl to her little toy set up. Then he approached you slowly, trying to anticipate your reactions, your actions - anything. But he didn’t know what was going to happen for everything had been going smoothly. Right?
A warm hand was on your shoulder and his breath down your neck. You so badly wanted to give into his familiarity - just break down for a moment, until everything was alright again.
“It ain’t about the sugar.”, his words were a statement - simply proof of how well he knew you. “Tell me, baby.”, and at the raw, honest tone dripping from his voice, your eyes welled up with tears. You turned around and pressed your body impossibly closer to his, his hand immediately finding comfort in your long locks. “Oh, baby.”
“I told you, Y/N, that I don’t want you to bottle anything up.”, his tone was lower, as if he wanted to make sure that his words were meant for you and you only. “I know this is rich comin´ from me.”, Benny let out a little chuckle.
You let out a tearful sniffle as you pulled away from Benny’s chest to look up at him. “It’s just— It’s just been a lot. Matilda saying her first words, the dinner with friends, your new job— I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but—“, you shook your head, your gaze lowering again.
“It’s a whole list, baby.”, he said in a comforting tone and cupped your cheek lovingly, your eyes meeting his again. “I’m surprised you pushed through for so long.”
You sniffled again. “I just want everything to be perfect. Johnny was so nice to us with your new job and Betty and her girls were so kind to Tilly and me. I feel like I need to repay them, I don’t know… And the powdered sugar being sold-out…”, you shook your head again at the realization and hid your gaze in Benny’s neck.
Benny’s brows furrowed at your honesty. Repay them? Repay them for what? Being humans?
“Y/N, listen to me.”, a little head shake from you made him sigh, though his hands cradled your head like they would with his babygirl. “We ain’t paying Johnny back for nothing, baby. We’re hosting Christmas dinner because they did the same thing last year. That’s it. It has nothing to do with my new job or Betty’s girls.”
“Yeah, but he was so kind about it—“
“Because I was good at what I was doing.”, he interrupted your mumbles. “There ain’t no need to stress over details that, sorry baby, won’t even be noticed by most people.”, his index curled under your chin to bring your soft eyes to his. You were mesmerized by his calmness and ability to settle such big emotions.
“I think I love you.”, you said in a dreamy tone. Benny laughed and squished your cheeks to place a kiss on your puckered lips.
“I think I love you too, baby.”
A/N: a little christmas surprise! hope you enjoyed & merry christmas! 🎄
MASTERLIST
#fanfiction#imagine#benny cross x reader#austin butler x reader#austin butler#benny cross#the bikeriders#a baby miracle
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I wish I could handle myself in an argument without fucking crying
#My dad just got back from a like. educator’s conference on ai#and was like ‘wow it’s just so amazing. I wish students didn’t use it to cheat but it’s amazing’#and he’s talking about how he would be fine to see art and writing and stuff created by ai if he couldn’t tell the different. and was like.#if you can’t tell why would you care? to me#and I was like ??? Because I want to see things created by my fellow man? because I want to see things created by passion and love#for the craft? because I want the stories I consume to benefit talented creators and not just big corporations?#Because I want people to being able to share their art with the world instead of it all being created by a computer trained on#nonconsenting parties??#and he was like ‘yknow you really shouldn’t position yourself so anti ai. you’re never gonna be able to get a job with that attitude’#and I’m just like ‘I don’t want a job that uses ai as it currently stands? and unless this shit improves drastically I probably won’t?’#and he was like ‘well you’re gonna fuck yourself’ and then went into this long metaphor and then said that this was just like how#I hate board games and that I shouldn’t commit so hard to my dislike of something bc I’ll be missing out#when that’s not even the fucking same thing! I wish I liked board games! I wish I could share in something that literally all of my friends#love and not be a fucking bummer at parties bc I either don’t play and look weird or I do play and feel like shit and probably act like#an ass! I wish I liked board games! I simply do not enjoy playing them! I find them stressful and unenjoyable!#I don’t like ai bc I don’t like the way it’s trained! I don’t like the way companies are trying to use it! I don’t want to make or consume#things that were created by an algorithm when I have beautiful art and writing and creations by passionate people who I think should be pai#and at this point I start crying bc he’s telling me I’m never gonna get a job bc god forbid I have some principles and keeps comparing it t#the board game thing which he already knows I’m fucking sensitive about!#and I have to run upstairs like a pussy bc I don’t wanna keep talking about it bc now I’m fucking crying#I hate how I can’t get even a little bit passionate without just getting emotional. I hate that I can’t handle myself#it sucks bc now I’m sure I just look like an idiot and my evening is ruined
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you know, tiktok is wrong about many things. however. this shit?
slaps.
I want more please
#parker talks#on my theatre kid bullshit#also my periodic tik tok reporting ig#some people say it’s hard to follow and confusing which like yeah#i agree#but pick up most musicals and start listening and you won’t be able to follow it#it’s not meant to be told in only a audio format#also there are only five songs so far so#idk my opinion#as someone who listens to musicals a lot#the main thing about a musical that makes me thing it’s good is wether or not it makes me feel things and makes me want to listen to more#this does so I like it 🤷♂️#easy#like it’s not sondheim but its not supposed to be
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wholesome snow au snippet………... they’re brothers :)
#this is from the fiiiirst chapter of the next fiiiiic#and i want to put it here. for myself mostly. i love snow au posting it’s fun i need to do it more lol#things that grow in the snow au#dsmp#bird writing#dove talks#this section is fun because they’re actually mostly happy :]#and ranboo is able to joke around and say he won’t do things people want him to! which is some Growth!#considering he’s. you know. the guy who washed dishes even though it makes his skin melt.#granted he can only really do that with tommy because tommy is incredibly unintimidating. but it’s still growth#and tommy is doing okay in this too. he’s got some of his self respect back#secret upcoming content involves him no longer being absolutely fucking terrified of wilbur lmao#he’s still a little uneasy. but he’s doing better :]#someone please talk to me about snow au tommy and ranboo they are so important to me#also having snowtommy be an artist was such a big brain idea honestly. it suits him so much#and also opens up fun bonding/parallel potential between him and his brothers (who are also artists in their own ways)#it’s just so smart. im so good at writing characters#changed it 2 screenshots bc the post was too long for my taste. idk
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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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I would love to see one just ONE female artist get big and not get plastic surgery and/or lose a shit load of weight. Men (aside from Drake) don’t be doing that shit? So why do every single one of them do it?????
#when I say all of them I mean the black ones#cuz who cares about white celebs#i am utterly disgusted by black female artist’s inability to exist in peace without having to radically change their appearance#like why do they ALL have to fucking do it?#you have these pretty and bomb ass women all fuck themselves up with this shit!#like real talk I am literally like no longer sexually attracted to Megan thee stallion anymore with her current body#she looking like a Victoria secret angel which is pretty but those girls were always too skinny for me#like you supposed to be a country girl cornbread fed#bitch where?#can’t even sing body no more like what body girl you practically a skeleton now#I’m so annoyed it makes me think of lil Kim and how she look now#that’s what all these black female celebs gonna look in 10-15 years watch#literally won’t be able to recognize them
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MDNI 18+ (not edited)
Part 2
Trucker!simon, who finds himself a lovely bird at a local truck stop he often runs through on his usual routes.
Sits his massive self at the bar on one of the small stools, glaring at any of the blokes who stare at you a bit too long.
Gives you a blank look when you check up on him, asking if he’d like anything else.
“Just anotha’ cuppa, sweet’art” he always says, sliding his mug towards you, which looks microscopic compared to his massive hand.
You think he doesn’t like you, considering he doesn’t ever talk to you much when you try to make small talk, but he always leaves you a fat tip. You figure he’s just quiet. He can’t dislike you that much considering how many times you’ve glanced over your shoulder to see him gazing appreciatively at your ass.
It’s an especially rowdy night at the truck stop that finally breaks the camels back. A real gentleman decided he wanted a feel of you. So he didn’t hesitate to grab a handful of the fat on your backside, his table and him whooping and hollering as you squealed and slapped his hand away, glowering at him as you scampered away to the bar.
You held back tears as you started up another pot of coffee, never were the confrontational type. This wouldn’t be the first time a man had taken it upon himself to put his hands on you, but it would certainly be the last. Considering how Simon was sat at the end of the bar; shaking with rage, his knuckles white from being clenched tight as he stood.
It all happened so quick you didn’t even catch it, you back had been turned. The restaurant went from ruckus, laughter, and loud voices, to silence after the sound of a sickening crack rung through the room.
You turned just in time to see the asshole’s friends jump from their seats and go for your favorite regular; Simon. The handsy asshole laid flat on the ground, out cold.
It took no time at all for Simon to lay out the other three, he was twice each of their size in pure muscle, and obviously lacked nothing in skill. Once he was done he simply turned to you, pointed to the back room and said,
“Go get yer things.”
You didn’t think twice. Passing your manager who stood in the doorway, face solemn. You asked him quickly if it was okay for you to leave, he took one glance at Simon and nodded his head. You grabbed your things, throwing on your coat and met Simon at the door.
He takes your arm, surprisingly gentle for his huge form, he looked enraged. His shoulders tense, brows furrowed, you’re certain if he didn’t have a mask on the lower half of his face he would have a deep frown on his lips.
You thank him softly, following him as he leads you through the full parking lot. He says nothing, staring ahead. You tell him you don’t live far, you can just walk.
“No, you’re not doin tha’.” He says, and you don’t argue.
Helps you into the cab of his massive semi, getting into the drivers side and turning up the heat.
Offers to get you some food, “haven’t seen’ya eat a bite ol night, bird.”
You refuse, thanking him for the offer, telling him you’ll eat at home. You probably won’t, your stomach is still all twisted from earlier, if he can tell you’re shaken up he doesn’t show it. He just nods.
Takes you to the corner of your street, wouldn’t be able to drive his truck down the narrow road. You thank him again, asking him if there’s anything you can do to repay him.
“I know’a few things you can do for me, bird.” He says lowly, you feel your cheeks warm at the implication. You ask him what he wants. He grunts, glancing to the side as if he’s thinking.
“Gimme a kiss.” He says, tapping his cheek. Your eyes widen, is he serious? Out of all things he could ask for, he asks for just a kiss on the cheek? You shocked to realize you’re disappointed he didn’t ask for more.
He pulls his mask down to his chin, revealing his chiseled jaw and thin, scarred lips. You lay a trembling hand on his giant thigh for support as you lean over, and just as you are about to meet his cheek he tilts his head and has your mouth. Pressing a heated kiss to your lips.
It takes you a moment to catch up, but before you know it you’re in his lap, making out sloppily, mouths open and tongues swirling together. You sigh into his mouth, cupping his jaw as his hand cradles the back of your head.
When you start grinding yourself against him is when he stops.
“Not yet, bird. Gotta take you out first, do it the right way.” He says. The right way? What the hell.
“Take ya for dinner, treat ya real good, take ya home and fuck that sweet pussy halfway to heaven.”
He cups your ass as he whispers that nasty shit in your ear, one hand on your hip as he bucks up once against your wet heat. You let out a whimper and he just chuckles. Asshole.
Jumps out the truck and helps you down with two strong hands on your hips. Walks you all the way to your front door, smiling at your peeved expression. You were definitely gonna have to rub one out once you got inside.
Gives you a sweet peck on the cheek, gripping your chin with his thumb and finger.
“Be here tomorrow a’ seven. Wear something nice.” He says softly before turning and stalking off into the night. Leaving you flabbergasted on your front doorstep.
Note: I dunno if you guys can tell but im incapable of writing anything small. This was supposed to be just a short little thing about how sexy trucker!simon would be but i got so carried away 😭 he’s the ghost that haunts my nights, can’t get him outta my head
Simon Riley master list
#cod smut#cod fanfic#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#trucker Simon Riley#ghost cod
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Why does ptsd make it impossible to schedule appointments
#talking#everyone’s being so kind maybe I will be able to call the dentist today#without crying about it#ptsd#venting kinda#this is very ptsd specific I cannot explain it but did you know I fear the dentist office not the dentist themselves#and I have to call a new place which means explaining hi I might cry but this is normal#do you know I’m a 24 almost 25 year old lady who cries about a building?!#anyways thanks to those who did kindness I will make an appointment today if it kills me#which it won’t but my brain thinks it will#ughhhh
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astarion’s character development is incredible to me because of the sheer amount of detail and accuracy. he doesn’t change entirely as a person after he kills cazador— he mentions himself that he keeps thinking about it, even though it’s all over. which makes sense, since 200+ years of trauma isn’t going to go away after a night.
but after killing cazador, and giving up ascension, he’s so much lighter. the usual harshness he has in his tone of voice is dulled, if not entirely absent in certain dialogues. he still has a long way to go in terms of healing, but he’s finally secure enough to start that process. he’s still him, but a weight has been taken off his shoulders, so he’s finally able to live without constant hyper-vigilance, looking over his shoulder for danger.
even the way that he refers to cazador changes: in almost every instance prior to completing his personal quest, he speaks cazador’s name with hatred. viciously. afterwards, he says his name like it’s just that. a name. someone that’s gone, and inconsequential, who can’t hurt him anymore.
i think my favorite callback is that, in the conversation you have with him after long resting, whether you romanced him or not, he thanks you for talking him out of it. now that he’s out of that hell, he’s able to see just how much continuing down that pattern of abuse would have changed and ruined him. specifically, the last line he says is “this is a gift, you know. thank you - i won’t forget it.” which is the exact same line he says after you allow him to drink your blood way back in act one.
as someone with ptsd and some pretty specific trauma, astarion means quite a lot to me as a character, so i’ll always admire just how much love was put into the way he grows over the course of the game. and, of course, this is a huge reason i can never bring myself to ascend him. he’s easily earned a spot amongst my favorite fictional characters ever and i cannot stress enough how glad i am that a story like his exists.
#astarion#astarion ancunin#the pale elf#bg3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#baldurs gate iii#baldurs gate astarion#baldur’s gate#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate iii#baldur’s gate astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x durge#cazador szarr#bg3 cazador#spawn astarion#dnd#dungeons and dragons
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PLEASE Spencer answering a work call in the middle of sex??? Super smutty
just wanna say that this is my first request and it makes me feel special so thank you !!! hopefully you like this <3
pairing: spencer reid x reader
warnings: 18+ nsfw smut, porn with small plot, afab reader, fingering, p in v sex, post prison spence, riding, doggy style, and missionary (yall were busy), spitting kink !!, spanking (once?), face slapping (i’m not sorry), slight oral (f receiving), lots of pet names (baby, angel, pretty girl), let me know if i missed anything !!
word count: 1.8k (got a little carried away)
also note to everyone- y’all absolutely devoured my spencer post the other day, a little less than 800 notes last i checked, and i just want to say i was very caught off guard and appreciate it so much !!
+ i apologize for the overuse of commas & very limited vocabulary,, i feel like i used the same 10 words smh
+ NOT PROOF READ !!
~~~
“i was able to talk to the brass about getting the week off. the past few weeks have been tough and i think we all need a well deserved break.”
you were all gathered in the round table room for a meeting emily called. in the past two weeks, the team had been assigned three back to back cases; which meant three different unsubs, three different cities, and three different hotel rooms. you hadn’t slept in your own bed in fifteen days, already feeling giddy at the thought of snuggling up in your bed, binge watching mindless reality tv, and fueling yourself with nothing but sweet treats.
matt was the first to speak, already standing up gathering his things from the table, “as much as i love you all i’m going to rush home to the wife and kids, i miss their little faces”
you all followed suit, collecting all of your belongings and saying your goodbyes, all of you raving about your week off plans. you walked to your desk, grabbing your bag and keys. you walked towards the elevator, pressing the down button, watching it slowly fall from floor 10 to floor 9, before tapping your foot, slightly agitated about how long it seemed to be taking.
you heard footsteps heading your way, small taps on sneakers on the slick marble floor, before felt a slight nudge at your side “you know, being mad at it won’t make it work any faster”
you chuckle looking up, making eye contact with spencer before giving him a small grin. “i’m just really ready to get home.”
the elevator doors open, spencer waved his hand up, allowing you to go first, before following you in and pressing the main lobby button. “you in such a rush because you have a hot date to get to?”
you looked up at him and grinned, you felt spencer’s hand move to your back, rubbing the center in small circles with your thumb. you felt your face get hot and you allowed yourself to slightly lean into his touch. the elevator stopped at the lobby, a small chime signaling the doors opening, and you felt spencer’s hand fall back to his side before you both stepped out of the box.
you both made your way to the parking garage, spencer walking you to your car before he headed towards the station to take the subway. you got to your car, unlocking it and throwing your purse inside before looking up at him with a slight smirk “text me when you’re on your way”
he shook his head and laughed as he gave you a small wave goodbye and headed towards the subway.
~~~
it had only been three days since you were given the week off, enjoying the company of spencer in your bed two thirds of those nights. he texted you the same night as the encounter in the parking garage, eager to see you in a private setting.
“look how pretty you look sitting on my cock”
you were straddling him, your head thrown back with both hands on his shoulders as you tried to keep a quick pace. he had his hands pressed deep into your hips, helping you move in a fluid motion. you felt him hit your sweet spot every time you made your way down, letting out tiny whimpers at the feeling.
“i love when you use me like this, getting yourself off like a good girl”
you couldn’t hold in the loud moan you had been holding, feeling your stomach flutter at his words. you felt a slight burning in your thighs and you knew spencer’s shoulders held tiny crescent shapes from how tight your grip had become. you felt one of spencer’s hands move to your clit, rubbing small circles on the bundle of nerves.
he grabbed your chin, making you look him in the eyes. you looked at him and grinned, fucked out and eager before you felt a sudden surge against your cheek before he let his hand rest there, rubbing his thumb to ease the pain.
“you gonna cum for me angel?”
“fuck- yes spence, i’m so- so close” you couldn’t even hear the words coming out of your mouth, your heartbeat beating so loud your hearing going out.
you moved your head down pushing your forehead to spencer’s with your eyes tight.
“cum for me baby, wanna feel you tighten around my cock.”
you felt that tight feeling in your stomach, the mix of his skilled fingers and his thick cock rubbing against your walls caused your breath to stop in your throat, your release making you see stars. you stopped your movement, breathing heavily as you leaned down into spencer. you felt soft kisses on your head and face, peppering you all over.
“did so good for me baby, love watching you use me”
you smiled against his neck, starting to do your own kissing. you felt his breath hitch when you found the sweet spot behind his ear, the small mole behind it always guiding you to the exact spot. you took your time, sucking and biting at the spot, grinding your hips, ready to keep going.
spencer gave your thigh a quick tap, before telling you to bend over. you were quick to roll over, propping yourself up on your hands and knees before slowly wiggling yourself back and forth to him.
you felt a sharp pain on your ass, a slight stinging feeling before you felt a tight grip run through your hair. you felt your body being pulled tightly to his, his chest flushed against your back. he moved one of his hands to your chest, a his fingers glazing your nipple, his other moving to your neck, pushing his thumb and middle finger to just the right spot to apply pressure.
“i let you use me, now it’s my turn to use you angel” spencer had leaned down to your ear, kissing your jaw before pushing you back down onto the bed.
spencer leaned down slightly, gripping your ass with both hands before spreading them. he let a trail of spit fall to your eager hole, before he rubbed it onto your pussy, giving your clit extra attention.
you moaned and pushed back into his touch before you felt him enter you quick and unforgiving, your ass jiggling with every move of his hips.
“fuck- so fucking deep” you arched your back, begging your body to somehow take him deeper. you felt his firm calloused hands rub against your back before settling into a position on your hips, his thumbs pressing small bruises into your skin.
“taking me so fuck-”
spencer’s voice was cut off by his phone ringing, vibrating on the nightstand beside you, and you felt his hips slow down, letting out a soft sigh as he was considering stopping completely.
you felt him hesitate but needed him to keep going, pushing your hips back into his trying to keep both of your focus.
“spence, please don’t stop” your voice still unsteady, “just ignore it”
spencer pulled out of you, and you let out a whine as the loss of contact. you rolled yourself over, making yourself comfortable on the pillows expecting him to walk away to return the call.
instead he leaned back over you and pulled you into a deep kiss, holding your face in both hands. your lips parting slightly when you felt his tongue lick your bottom lip, allowing your tongues to meet.
spencer grabbed his dick, rubbing over your clit before he lined himself up with you, gasping when he pushed himself in.
“you’re so fucking perfect angel”
he pulled away, lifting your legs up to your shoulders and latching his hands to your thighs. he found himself moving slow and deep, like he was trying to memorize the way you felt around him.
you moved your hands to play with your nipples, rolling the hard buds between your finger tips. he bent down, pushing his weight into you, almost like he was folding you. he pooled spit into his mouth before he let it go to your clit, moving his hand to the bundle of nerves.
“want you to cum again for me pretty girl, want one more before i fill you up”
you let out a moan, sighing before you went to speak “gonna fill me-”
you were cut off by the phone ringing again, the buzzing sound making you forget your thoughts. spencer dropped your thighs and leaned over before giving you a quick kiss before he reached over to grab phone.
“spencer do not answer that”
he moved his finger to his lips, making a shushing motion “it’s emily”
you rolled your eyes, ready to kick him out and finish yourself off before heading to bed when you felt him move again. he moved his hand to cover your mouth before answering the phone.
“doctor reid”
you felt yourself get wetter, the sound of your slick filling the room, your moan mumbled behind his hand. spencer’s motion was relentless, his pace quick and brutal, jabbing your sweet spot with every push.
“i thought we were getting the week off”
your leg was lifted up, making the angle even deeper and you felt your eyes roll back, out of pleasure or annoyance you couldn’t tell. there was no way you were getting called in.
“i can get a hold of her for you, i remember her mentioning something about having a date this week”
you grinned, giggling behind his hand before spencer moved the phone to hold it on his shoulder, letting his now free hand to move back down. he never took his eyes off you, holding a shit eating grin as he felt you squeezing him tighter, squirming at how close you were. you furrowed your brows and pinched your eyes shut.
“i’ll be there in an hour”
you heard the phone beep, signaling the call was disconnected. spencer moved his hand away from your mouth down to your neck, cursing as he heard you gasp.
“did so good for me pretty girl”
his hips stopped deep inside you as you felt his cock twitch, filling you up. he groaned as he felt you cumming again, keeping his thumb in place to help your orgasm finish and you let a loud moan out in response. spencer gave you a long kiss, nipping at your bottom lip before he trailed his lips down your neck. he pulled himself out of you, grinning at the soft sigh you let out. he kept his lips on your body, trailing them down your stomach before reaching your thighs and nipping at the sensitive skin.
he moved his tongue and licked a long strip up your pussy, sucking on your clit before pulling up to look at you, shit eating grin on his face. “we’ve got roughly 30 minutes, that’s enough time for me to help you clean up, right angel?”
#nev writes#prison spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds
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~ ~ ~
#why do I still feel like I need you so much?#I know nostalgia is a liar sometimes and all that but God it’s still killing me when it hits so hard like this#all I want to do is talk to you all day and have a really long conversation like we used to#I’d be willing to bet that even though today is a ‘lazy day’ for you I still won’t get more than 1-2 messages from you all day#I just don’t know what changed or why#and if I bring it up it’ll just start a fight again like last time so I’m basically never allowed to be bothered by this ever again#I still want what we had back and I hate that I want that so badly even though I know we can never have that again#I shouldn’t care this much and should be able to move on with my life but I can’t get my feet under me#I feel like I’ll always be begging you or someone else for attention and affection and whatever else for the rest of my life#I feel like I’ll never truly get what I want or get to be fully and completely happy/satisfied all the way around#my thoughts are a jumble and are all over the place and I’m just babbling at this point#but my chest feels tight and I’m holding back tears and this shit always hits me out of nowhere and I don’t know why it keeps happening#I don’t know how to stop feeling this way or distract myself or process it or move on#I can’t predict when it’s going to hit or what triggers it completely so I can never make it stop it seems#and it just makes me want you back even more which makes it all hurt worse again#I think of my girlfriend and how she doesn’t deserve a partner who’s still dealing with this shit and thinking about someone else#I feel so guilty all the time because I’m still thinking about you so much and I can’t get you out of my head#she’s the one I should be thinking about and feeling everything for#and we’re about 90% there overall so it’s not like I’m not trying to put all of myself into our relationship#it’s just that last 10% I can’t seem to fix and that’s why I’m so ashamed of myself#yet I still can’t move on from you and I don’t know why#you carved yourself out a piece of my soul and how do I get that back? I don’t know#personal
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#tw vent#i love my mom but she just does not. understand#she’s said two things to me today that just really hurt#one of them didn’t even really make sense. she asked me if i wanted to take the dog out for a walk with her and i said no—#i’ll just get ready for bed. and then she asks ‘have you even exercised at all today?’#i was on my feet (standing walking etc) at work for seven hours today—starting before she was even awake#i don’t want to sound like i’m looking down on her for not getting a job—she’s been a ‘stay at home mom’ for decades#(which is a very respectable legitimate job but all things considered i’m the youngest & i’m 20 so i don’t really need an at-home parent…)#but she really doesn’t understand what working for so long is like. and idk why it can be particularly hard on me sometimes—#like i’m perfectly able-bodied (outside of an old injury causing me to use a brace which makes me lean my weight on one leg—#but i’m getting better at trying to balance it) but i just come home from work exhausted and my mom doesn’t understand—#a lot of the time she’ll want me to help out with stuff that normally I’d have no problem with—but after work it’s harder#she’s never like this with my sister—probably because my sister is out of the house so often it’s like she doesn’t live here /because/—#she doesn’t like how things are. but anyway#the other thing my mom said was. so i told her once or twice that when i got home i just wanted to watch the new season—#of the show i can’t stop talking about yk. & she’d watch some with me. but she’d always be pausing it to do something else—#or get distracted talking with my dad or literally anything—#and she won’t admit it so she just makes me sit there essentially so i want to go do something else and maybe watch something else#but when i try she acts like i’m dramatic and just need to ‘wait’ which ofc I can but if the wait turns into twenty minutes for—#every three minutes of show time i’m gonna say I’ll just do something else and come back later#but when I said i had hoped we’d watch more but okay I’ll just go to bed she got upset and said#’theres more to /my/ life than just tv’#which really hurt which is stupid because it implied that there’s not really much to my life besides work and tv#but i know she probably didn’t mean that and it’s just me blowing things out of proportion#there’s a lot of value to my life—i make people happy—i have a lot to offer#it just gets hard when it seems like there’s just work and school and tv shows#even though my main passion is writing about those tv shows lol#but yeah. Feeling kinda shitty about it#but i’m just gonna go to bed and catch up on my sleep#to delete later
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