#but I feel so glad for them now
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the thing is life continues to be hard and brutal and test me in some really painful ways but also I’m doing soooooooooo much better than I was a year ago because so many things have changed that needed to change and my coping skills are better, my sense of self is more stable, my relationships are more stable. so like so much to be thankful about every day even though I almost never am because I’m ungrateful and self-absorbed in the moment.
#all of last year was just everything being upended#change on change on change#and so of course I was like ‘it’s been a year aren’t I DONE now’#and of course that is not life lol#(The best moment in the Barbie movie really was the ‘life IS change’ line)#but also sometimes you reap the fruit of hard things#and moving out and starting counseling#have both been huge#as things I needed and NEVER wanted#but I feel so glad for them now#and also just some of the stuff both of those changes have pushed me to examine#has led me to be so much more stable#overall I think#and like/ I’m still not happy all the time lol#there are things that are breaking my heart#and because I’m me there’s things that are breaking my heart that I know and things I’m probably not aware of#but I really do think some of the biggest things are settling#anyway will I feel terribly horribly sad soon? Yes probably.#But they are countered by these moments where my life feels for the first time like something I want to think about with my whole brain#and something that is enough to fill my whole heart#and it never did before. I was always like ‘yes yes my life that’s so good’ but also I was always trying to look away from it#and lose myself in endless distractions#and even sometimes the most beautiful side quests of my brain were still side quests#because I didn’t want to look at my life straight on#and somehow some equation has flipped and I don’t think of my life last now#or only out of the corner of my eye between my obsessions#out of fear and anxiety. Like I’m on my own kid I can face this! Etc.#and what I see is a life that IS good and has so much for me to do and there is so much to love and I DO have what I need#even if not’s what I ordered from the menu of life ANYWAY this is way more detail than you needed lolllll BUT YEah#just wanted to say it. thank you for listening
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started
#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional#because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life#the dissatisfaction#the hoping for something more#something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work#it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us#and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out#exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see#there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper#I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well#😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters#and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist#when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them#to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well#Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too#I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult#my art#fanart#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna the human#cake the cat#simon petrikov
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍
#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#….yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I don’t know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like “boo I knew about your fuckedupness from the start”
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so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!
god I hope this reads properly
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i feel like kalim and the marshmallow test operates under roger rabbit rules#whether he passes or fails depends on which option is funniest at the time#anyway HEY things are finally actually happening!#so glad fellow agrees with me there#did he even expect them to make it to the show. did he very quickly have to choreograph a poppy little dance number.#honestly in retrospect i am also shocked that they lasted as long as they did#i mean. floyd is there. c'mon.#speaking of which i did really enjoy floyd going BYE JADE! MAYBE I'LL COME BACK TO SAVE YOU LATER IF I FEEL LIKE IT!#revenge for the popcorn#sorry if this is nonsensical! somehow it became like 4 am while i wasn't looking#i am super digging the evil theme park shenanigans (now that they're actually happening)#it's just Very Late!
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Suspirium - Thom York
#this is my very favorite song and i think ive been wanting to make this for abt a year#when i was at my most compulsivly unwell i would be focusing so hard and sleeping so little that i would feel physically sick#like the world was tilting around me and i would think: all is well as long as i keep spinning#bc i would stop moving and suddenly id be in pieces on the floor. but now i think my favorite lines are: when i arrive will u come and find#me? or in a croud be one of them? bc its such a profoundly lonely idea. i dont believe in a life after death. i think when ur gone ur gone#your brain stops and the thing that made you you is gone forever. but if i imagined an afterlife image getting off a train onto a crowded#platform and searching for my mom through all the chaos. when i arrive will u come and find me? would our connect extend past a lifetime?#or would u be in a crowed one of them? would i stand alone in a sea of people waiting for someone who was never coming?#its a very upsetting thought#im glad i waited to make this bc i feel the song more deeply after the death of my mom. it feels more sad and more ethereal.#there r like 2 different versions of the lyrics bc thom york is so fucking hard to understand#so i use the version i like better#original art
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Yeonjun about the strain he felt while preparing for his debut solo project ✙ "GGUM" MAKING FILM
#yeonjun#choi yeonjun#tomorrow x together#txt#ggum: making film#gifs#creations#userzaynab#useryeonbins#skyehi#rosieblr#megtag#hibiebear#heyiri#ultkpopnetwork#kpopccc#kpopco#this are like the rawest emotions we've seen from him... I feel... it's really sad to watch him like this#i mean I know they're under lots of pressure and stress#It's only natural when you work with so many people who you could potentially disappoint#and I know it was his choice to make this solo project happen now but i feel like the company could manage his schedule better#because why he films till 3 am and then right next day has a flight to another country for a concert...#and now we know from soobin they're super busy again#I'm worried his body will just say 'enough' one day and something bad will happen :(#and you have him work so hard and stress and then all this losers online whose biggest achievement is getting 100 likes on a post#writing the worst things about him for no reason... its not that hard to be kind and you dont need to have an opinion about everything :D#at the end of the day that celebrity you hate so much is still pretty and successful#and you're just a friendless jobless empty-headed rotten fool with likes on a post that mean nothing once you close the ap#I'm just glad all this is still fun for him and that he has such a great support system: his members family staff who care about him and us#all we can really do is support them and send them lots of love fr ;; you've done well my jjunie ily ♥
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"we've always been friends, we always will be friends. but friends is a big word."
#they have always been wrapped around each other i think. in arms and on trophies.#lewis' name before and after nico's on the championship trophy... sometimes u get so close to someone u end up on the other side of them...#if you know somebody for 15 years i don't think you can ever unlearn them. do u think nico's name on that trophy made lewis feel less lonely#or did it just make him haunted#do u think he's glad nico won the wdc now? do u think it's been long enough for him to feel happy for him?#do u think after all that has happened; lewis understands nico just a little bit more.#so much to think about#brocedes#lewis hamilton/nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#mercedes#mercedes amg f1#f1#formula 1#formula one#formula racing#motorsports#web weave#web weaving#f1 web weaving
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North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
#detroit become human#north wr400#simon pl600#markus rk200#josh pj500#jericho is just... so funny to me as like. how they function (or dont)#like im v glad that i did a Good Job my first run and no one hated me but i also felt like a very distraught parent#in regards to how markus is just able to either hurt them (by suggestions OF THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP)#or help them because hey what the fuck i just dragged simon to safety and now north wants me to kill him#and then simon like oh no north got shot you should leave her BUT ! i saved her and made simon happy#so its like you know what they have to have some animosity but also respect#i feel like i wanna see more of north and simon being buddies ... and i might have to do that myself#but i also apologize if this is ooc for them because i really did only just play through once and got a not good end#i probably missed a lot of lore and stuff so im v sorry if im Messing Them Up#its currently just me liking their designs and vibes and hoping im not ruining other fans lives by being wrong#and i honestly dont know when north would kill simon but hes on her possible victims list#so since both of their victim lists include themselves for suicide it just reminded me of the meme#with im so mad im gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health)#and it was like yeah watch north be like im gonna (well if i cant kill myself because markus said no suicide) murder someone
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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.
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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended#this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty#but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion#I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for#but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved#not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence#depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better#it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think#and it rustles my jimmies#answered#anonymous
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rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)
(but it did inspire me)
on another note
finally!!
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#kurogiri#I cried a bit while playing it I missed the classic LoV I missed Kurogiri WITH the LoV it's been so long :(#and it feels like last chapter (423 atm) broke the seal of sketching them as anything but something static#it took me two or so days to just understand that Kurogiri is... yeah#I can't believe it took Horikoshi so long to bring him back but as I said and will say it again I glad it happened at all#after some thought I just want to sit with the chapters#anyway getting the preordered book was so much fun#it was full of LoV from Toga and Dabi talking about her house to Tenko being upset over being told that he doesn't have friends#and everything in-between basically only Compress left to join in the next volume#I think????#I actually want to get another one already they're so goodddd#and the translation sounds pretty good but I checked some pages not the whole book it'll be boring#it's actually so weird to think that I started a goal of reading the whole series ad it was now officially coming out like this back in 201#and now it's 2024 and the translation is pretty much ahead of anime and maybe it'll be faster than viz volumes too#since it's 2 in 1 basically - I think it's really great since I save some money but get LoV chapters every time#because they appear every 2 books at the start of the series and back then it was hard for me to get them#but I felt content seeing all the books that I bought when I was visiting family for holidays this month because there are so many of them#and I don't need any wi-fi or internet in general to read them back to back now with an addictional volume#they have some mistakes but I don't mind them it feels good to just hold all of them (and a bit heavy after like 8 books) and now it's 18
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hello. um. sorry for disappearing for like two months. imagine me getting hit with a truck called “The Worst Creative Block In Your Life” and getting thrown headfirst into the gintama rabbit hole. it’s quite cozy down here. i think i need help.
anyways, have a bunch of accumulated doodles plus this terrifying kagura as apology tehe :3
#well tbh the trigun fandom kinda burned me out as well#i couldn’t really keep up so i just. didn’t lol#kinda hated drawing for a bit after that but gintama’s been really good for me in that way#while i still really really wanna draw for it and i have a ton of doodles for it#i don’t really feel the need to keep up in a sense#i can just enjoy it at my own pace#(at my own pace being binging like 10 episodes a day)#but hey i need to at least try and take it easy before college yk#but now im horrifically attached to the entire cast and will cry if this so called comedy series even becomes a hint emotional#so you know#the usual#thanks for sticking around regardless!#i know i kinda flip flop a bunch between interests#but im glad to know you guys still wanna stick with me through them all#ily <3#sakata gintoki#kagura#shimura shinpachi#yorozuya#gintama#ok bye
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landing
#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to#include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap#smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied#to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yukina#hiei#skrunkart#also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip#anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs#anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more#would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand#enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do#edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia#but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one#WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW#ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY#also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
#adhd#not art#like this only thing I could think about was how understimulated I was#every person was boring because I was in such a severe and chronic state of dopamine deficiency#so I wasn't interested or curious about ANYONE and nobody could 'satiate me' and I deemed everyone boring because of it#then the first week on my meds & I went to visit my neighbor#& I was like 'omg your granddaughter came to visit this weekend? how was she? :)'#and then after I went home and I was like wow she's so sweet and her life seems so interesting I cant wait to talk more about it#and then it hit me I had known her for YEARS and it wasn't until now that I.. cared :(#made me feel really bad but also glad that I actually have the capacity to care and it wasn't just my personality#I had to do a lot of damage control :T but some bridges were burned and I gotta live with that#now I can proudly proclaim that no im not a narcissist bc I think people are interesting and I wanna hear them talk#i can just sit and listen and internalizing their perspective ..#for once I like people and I'm not a victim in some imaginary fight for mediocrity with everyone else#it never excited and im happy to feel that way#also whenever I speak with unmedicated adhders I just look at them like wow you don't even know how much your brain is making itself suffer#every adhder may not want to or can take meds and that's fine but everyone at least deserves to know what it feels when they work
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Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).
Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?
This is fine
#This is not fine#Warning: Long tags ahead (2 topics)#TOPIC 1:#I'm glad Isaac feels safe enough to be reading this book and processing emotions around his friends#That's the positive spin on “he's quietly dealing with a lot while next to his friends and they're not noticing and he's not sharing" right#The contrast of this with the happy friend-bonding montage time feels purposeful and sad (esp. with lyrics about staying in the closet)#but on the bright side this is in the midst of happy friend-bonding montage time so we also see them having happy bonding times together#- showing the friendship is still strong even if right now Isaac isn't wholly known or fully fitting#Hopefully this is leading to Isaac telling his friends what he's going through in S3 and the friendships adapting to fit him better#TOPIC 2:#Also - don't think it's unintentional that where the camera focus shifts to is Nick with his arms around Charlie and then kissing his head#I think we're being purposefully distracted from Isaac with allo 'cuteness'#Because what the other characters often get swept up in - especially as they all couple up in S2 - is alloromantic/allosexual interactions#And that's frequently what the world prioritises or cares more about too#I think the show is intentionally calling everyone - from the characters to us watching them to the whole world - out#So that hopefully we (general) can all be more aware and do better#[In case you were wondering this N&C/Isaac scene is also right after we see short clips of Elle & Tao and Tara & Darcy cuddling -#which also seems very intentional: Isaac - sandwiched in between views of cuddling couples - alone in more ways than one]#CONCLUSION:#I think everything is working together to highlight the contrast between what N&C and Isaac are respectively experiencing in this moment#Did I mention this is not fine?#It is well done though#heartstopper mini moment#isaac henderson#aroace#aromantic asexual#lgbtqia+#queer#taylor swift#seven
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the way she looks at him she’s just like me fr
#I was rewatching the Pabu episode and now I’m so upset#I also can’t tell if people really hate her or not#like sometimes#the posts I see feel really serious and I’m concerned#I however have the biggest brain of them all#I got to see tech smile at her so I rooted for it#if I can’t have tech I’m glad she does#tech bad batch#tbb tech#tech the bad batch#the bad batch season 2#tbb season 2#techphee#pLEASE LET HIM COME BACK TO HER
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