#but I don't normally drink much coffee. and I never have energy drinks or anything super caffeinated like that

[grassbreads]

My job got a fancy new coffee machine that I'm still learning to navigate, and today I wanted to try a flavor/type of drink that it will for some reason only make in the largest size. I also set it to the strongest setting bc the last drink I got on a lower setting was kinda watery and gross tasting

Anyway, my little treat tasted good, but it's now 3 hours later and I am still a bit jittery

[getvalentined]

I've never done a full breakdown of everything that happened to my version of Vincent while he was under the knife (although there is a partial breakdown from like 12 years ago on Ask Vincent Valentine), but @spinejackel tagged my recent Vincent doodle gushing about autopsy scar (Vincent Has a Y-Incision headcanon supremacy!) so I figured it was probably a good time. This is also probably the best method, since I can apply the right tags and trigger warnings to hopefully keep it from hitting the people who would be disturbed.

For anyone who doesn't know, figuring out the fucked up physiology of victims of science is like my entire jam. I think this is what happens when you let a chronically ill child watch Akira and the original Bubblegum Crisis OVA and most of the works of Masamune Shirow. All that before FF7 even existed. This means that the explanation under the cut may seem excessive, and this post is very long. I've been building it over over a quarter century, I don't think there's any avoiding it at this point.

Warnings for body horror, nonconsensual body modification, medical horror and torture. Basically, if there's anything you can think of related to becoming a victim of science under the rule of an unethical sci-fantasy oligarchy, it's probably in here to some degree. It's explained plainly and simply, in clinical but not visceral detail.

My headcanons for what Hojo did to Vincent are pretty specific, albeit not precisely comprehensive; 27 years later I still don't really have a particularly solid concept for how he turned Vincent into a shapeshifter, although at least we know it's not something entirely specific to Vincent—Hojo repeated that facet of the experiment in Azul, but not in any other SOLDIER operative even in DeepGround, implying that it's only possible if very specific physiological conditions are met. The minimal concept I do have involves a twisted application of the concept of incarnate summoning as it appears in FFXIII-2, but it's very vague and also not the topic of this post. Maybe later.

Regarding the Y-incision/autopsy scar, my headcanon is that once Hojo tweaked Vincent into being able to regenerate from any injury—an enhancement that is confirmed to be entirely Hojo's work in Dirge—the professor of course felt it necessary to run various tests quantify the usefulness of his handiwork. He did this first by inflicting various surface injuries, then by causing more extreme bodily trauma, which eventually culminated in Hojo removing the majority of Vincent's internal organs in order to measure how long it took them to grow back and, assuming they did grow back, how the new ones compared to Vincent's original parts.

To be able to observe this as closely as possible, Hojo kept Vincent's torso open for the entire process—which he repeated twice more in order to check the weight, size and structure of the newly-grown organs in comparison to the originals. This study proved that most of them did grow back, but the majority of them stopped developing much earlier than was appropriate for Vincent's age and size. The difference was consistent, Hojo just never figured out why most of them grew back smaller and less-developed.

The reason this happened is based the fact that most of the organs in the human trunk are used in digestion and other related processes, and Vincent's regeneration means he doesn't need to eat or drink anymore. His body only expended as much energy as was completely necessary to develop those organs to the point of being functional rather than normal, because they're not really necessary. Vincent is glad he still has them, though, because he does still occasionally eat (usually in social situations) and also he'd be really sad if he couldn't even have coffee.

Vincent's brain activity remained normal during the entire process, although that may have something to do with Hojo driving a bunch of fluid lines into his head and flooding the inside of his skull with mako to keep him awake the whole time even while deprived of oxygen. (Rebirth spoilers, but seeing the bit in the Nibelheim Protorelic questline where Hojo does something super similar to this, after this has been my headcanon for decades, was a trip.)

Two organs didn't grow back at all: Vincent's appendix and one kidney. This was also the result of efficient energy expenditure, as the human appendix isn't necessary for survival, and only one kidney is really required. (Each time Hojo removed the new kidney, the one that grew back would be on the opposite side, which bothered Hojo to no end.)

His lungs grew back a little larger, possibly because his skeletal structure never quite recovered after his first transformation into Galian—his arms and legs are noticeably too long for his body, although not to the point of looking impossible, and likewise his ribcage settled to breadth that would allow for larger lungs. He doesn't really need these anymore either, related to his brain being exposed to so much mako during the process that it can now operate without oxygen if necessary, but switching himself over from aerobic to anaerobic respiration is really unpleasant and Vincent tries to avoid it when he can.

His heart was pretty normal by the time Hojo was done with him, although his heartrate had dropped to like 20bpm even when elevated. Again, if respiration isn't necessary, there's not much reason for the system to be active. (By the time Lucrecia was done this had dropped to around 5bpm on average, although it's completely arrhythmic and jumps all over the place when he's not either particularly active or on the verge of a transformation.)

This was the experiment that left Vincent susceptible to degradation, which Hojo didn't realize until after finally closing him back up. Upon realizing that Vincent's body wasn't responding properly to a different test (a repetition of an earlier experiment related to the regeneration of external tissues and features), Hojo just kinda threw him in a tube to be disposed of at a later date, kinda like that scene in Arrested Development where there's that dead dove in a bag in the fridge. The incision healed at some point during the period that Lucrecia was working on him, but early enough in her work that the tissue couldn't flawlessly regenerate (like it does in the present), leaving him with one more gnarly scar on top of all the rest.

Vincent is self-conscious about all the physiological changes brought on by what was done to him, often to the point of loathing. His left arm is the worst—it rotted off while he was in the throes of degradation and grew back as something that he hesitates to call his arm—but Vincent hates that Y-incision scar almost as much. Some days they tie.

(It has come up in appropriately horrified conversation with Shalua that, considering how his regeneration works, Vincent could probably get rid of all the scars on his chest if he somehow peeled the skin off his torso in a single swath. He will not be doing that. Besides, it might grow back the wrong color/texture/etc, like his left arm. Not worth the risk, much less the suffering.)

Also I gotta finish off this entry with the extremely stupid headcanon reveal that Vincent's (honestly fairly impressive) dick was cut off during the first round of bodily trauma regeneration tests—and Hojo has never felt the sort of rage he experienced upon discovering that it grew back bigger than before. This occurred early enough in the experiments that Vincent was not awake for it, and thus has no idea how the fuck this happened, and does not want to talk about it ever thank you very much. I've never mentioned it in public anywhere because it is extremely stupid, but I hope someone out there finds it as funny a concept as I do.

[hopeful-engineer]

🌞 Self-care vs. self-indulgence vs. avoidance

Sometimes it may be a hard to swallow pill, but there's a difference between self-care and self-indulgence:

🍭 self-indulgence: spending too much money on stuff you want, but don't really need, like clothes you'll wear twice and then leave in your closet, where all they do is take up space, books you'll never read, subscriptions you'll forget about

✨ self-care: saving money; planning your budget; buying less, but better quality; thinking twice, before buying something you want, but don't need: "Will I really use it? Do I have enough money to buy it, without worrying, that I won't have enough to buy something more important? I want it now, but will I still want it tomorrow?" (note: I didn't write "don't buy anything except necessities" anywhere. Buy the stuff you want, but do it consciously, plan it and think before buying.)

🍭 self-indulgence: eating fast food and unhealthy snacks; drinking soda pop, energy drinks, tea with a lot of sugar, or too much coffee; adding sugar to everything; drinking too much alcohol

✨ self-care: eating as healthy as possible; learning to cook; avoiding fast food, sweets, potato chips and other unhealthy snacks; reducing your sugar intake; drinking water, fruit juices, tea without added sugar; planning your meals; buying natural food (note: It doesn't mean "never eat anything unhealthy again, never add sugar to anything, never drink alcohol". You can treat yourself with some pizza, or sweets, or beer sometimes, but it should be a treat, not part of your everyday meals.)

🍭 self-indulgence: staying up until 3 AM to watch films/series, play computer games, browse social media, chat with someone, or even to do something, that doesn't involve technology, for example draw or read books; sleeping until 11 AM, because you went to bed too late; sleeping 12 hours at the weekend, because you slept 4 hours a day during the week; hitting the snooze button; laying in the bed for too long after waking up

✨ self-care: fixing your sleep schedule; waking up earlier; going to bed earlier; sleeping 7 to 9 hours every day; avoiding all-nighters; having a fixed wake up time and a fixed bedtime, the same every day, including weekends; getting out of bed immediately when your alarm clock rings (note: I know there are circumstances, that can mąkę having a fixed sleep schedule is impossible, or next to impossible, I also know in some situations it's totally normal to stay up late, like you don't have to leave a party at 9 PM just because you want to stick to your sleep schedule, that would be unreasonable. Do it the best you can under your current life circumstances, and remember, this is about everyday life, not some rare exceptions.)

There's also a difference between self-care and avoidance:

😨 avoidance: staying home all the time; not going to any events, because meeting new people is stressful; always declinig your friends' invitations

✨ self-care: not going to that big, loud party, because it's too overwhelming, but going to a pub with a few friends instead; inviting your friends to your home, when going out feels too stressful; declinig some invitations, when you don't have time and/or energy, but accepting others, when you feel better and have more time; gradually increasing the number of social interactions you have, to be able to meet new people with less stress

😨 avoidance: having no plans for the future; thinking, that there's no point in having any goals in life; telling yourself, that ambitions are generally pointless and hence you don't have to do anything and be good at anything

✨ self-care: having specific, short-term goals and an overall vision od your long-term future; knowing, what you really want to do and what you're good at, and sticking to these things; consciously choosing, what to learn and what to give up on, based on if it's important to you, not to other people; not distracting yourself with too many side plans, when you have one main goal; knowing, what is your passion and what is your ambition; knowing, that you are ambitious mainly for yourself, and only secondly for the society; believing, that you are capable of achieving your goals

😨 avoidance: not studying at all, because it takes time and energy; procrastinating until the last moment before the exam/test/project deadline; always talking the easiest way possible with no ambition beyond barely passing the exam/test; having no plan, no study schedule; never asking for help, even if you're failing, because you think asking for help is a shame, or you're simply too shy; dropping out of school/college because it's stressful

✨ self-care: knowing that you're studying for yourself, your grades don't define you and that real knowledge and skills are more important, than grades; focusing on these topics, that are important to you for your future studies/career, and being the best you can in these areas; being good enough to pass at everything, that isn't important for your future plans; planning your studying and starting early; taking regular breaks to avoid burnout; asking for help if necessary, but trying to do as much as possible and reasonable on your own; acknowledging that, despite the education system being flawed in so many ways, it also gives you many opportunities;

Of course, self-care includes bubble baths, eating cake, listening to your favourite music and slowly drinking tea, while watching the rain outside through the window and letting your thoughts wander, but these aren't only forms od self-care and definetely not the most important ones. Of course, sometimes it includes staying home with your cat instead of going to the party, sleeping in, instead of studying for an exam, because you're exhausted, or giving up on something, instead of trying again and again, but this should happen in some, specific situations, not be your default response. Real self-care should focus on improving your life, not escaping it or avoiding it.

This post doesn't mean, I'm perfect at all of these things. Actually I struggle a lot with many of them. This is a piece of advice for me, too.

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 14 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Alcina and Donna have a chat. You wake up and you and Alcina have a heart-to-heart. She tells you about the mold and her experiences with the cadou.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: Fluff, softness, canon violence, a dash of angst

Notes: Part 14! I'm SO sorry that this chapter is so late! I decided to make it a little extra long to make up for it💕

Click here for the rest of the series

A maid walks in with a tray in her hands after Alcina sits across from Donna. Setting it down on the coffee table, she looks up at Alcina.

"Tea or wine my Lady?"

"Wine, please." Alcina says as she pulls her cigarette case along with her lighter out of her bra. A slight blush crosses the maids cheeks while she opens the wine bottle and pours it into Alcina's glass. Donna gives Alcina a look, surprised she acted so casually in front of one of her maids. Meanwhile, Alcina lights a cigarette and deeply inhales. She blows the smoke away from the maid and Donna.

"I apologize for my lack of etiquette but I am unable to muster the energy at the moment to present myself as I normally would." Alcina says to the maid, resting her forehead on the heel of her hand as she holds the cigarette between two fingers.

"There is no reason to apologize, my Lady. We know the day has been," she pauses, nervously searching for the right word. "rather stressful." She hands Alcina her goblet, who immediately drinks from the glass.

"Tea, Lady Beneviento?"

"Yes please."

The maid pours the tea for Donna and hands her the cup.

"Thank you, that will be all. Please see to it that we are not interrupted unless, gods forbid, yet another emergency occurs."

"Of course, my Lady." The maid says with a bow before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Alcina downs the rest of her wine in one gulp and refills her glass.

"Oh how I wish I were still able to get drunk." She mutters to herself, looking down into the glass of swirling red liquid.

"Even regeneration properties can be a double edged sword." Donna says as she lifts her veil to take a sip of tea.

"What was it you wanted to speak about again?" Alcina asks.

"A few things, truthfully, including next weeks meeting."

"Ah, yes. Mother Miranda." Alcina says, taking another drag from her cigarette.

"But before that," Looking up at Donna, Alcina is unsure of what she's about to say. "I never doubted you when you told me how much you cared for the girl, however, I may have underestimated just how much you truly care for her. I don't think I've ever seen you look at anyone the way you looked at her, sister. You must truly love her."

Alcina feels a light blush creep across her cheeks and she tries to hide it by taking another sip of wine as she nods.

"I do, Donna. I do."

"She makes you happy?"

"The happiest I've ever been. I've never been happier, save for when I was given the girls. Although the love I have for her and the love I have for the girls are vastly different, all four of them have captured my heart."

"Well sister, the love between mother and child and the love shared between lovers are two entirely different kinds of love. I am very happy to see you so happy. It's been a long time."

"It certainly has."

"Now, regarding the meeting." Alcina takes another drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray. "Alcina you know my loyalty lies with you, however, I also will not stand against Mother for a foolish reason."

Alcina feels her body tense up as she stares into where Donna's eyes are behind the veil.

"Donna-"

"Please, let me finish." Alcina drinks from her glass and clenches her jaw, her grip tightening around the goblet. "But, I trust you and your judgment and I can see solely from the way you look at that girl that your reasoning for standing up against Mother if you must is anything but a foolish reason. Again, my loyalty lies with you Alcina. Wherever you go, Angie and myself will gladly follow."

A breath Alcina didn't realize she was holding releases as she feels her anger fade away.

"Thank you, Donna."

"What are you planning on doing for this meeting next week? You know you can't walk in, claws out and ready to attack."

"No, absolutely not. Mother's powers are far stronger than mine, even with immortality on my side I fear that if I go up against her, I won't survive."

"You won't." Donna says matter-of-factly.

"I plan on masking my feelings for her, for y/n. I don't know what Mother wants with her, or if she wants to test me. I'm uncertain of her motives. So my plan is to attend the meeting as usual, keep y/n close by my side at all times and if I have to protect her, I will without hesitation."

"I think that is a wise plan Alcina. How do you think she is going to handle the meeting? Has she met any of the other Lords?"

"No, she hasn't. She only met Mother."

"Do you have any concerns of her meeting the other Lords?"

"Not particularly. If I could keep her from ever having to interact with that child Heisenberg I would, but only because he is insufferable. I have no qualms with Salvatore, although I do not trust him. I would not put it past the poor creature to use whatever he has as his disposal to try to make himself appear more valuable to Mother. He's so desperate for her affection, it's pitiful."

"He is not the only one who pines for her acceptance, Alcina."

Alcina shoots Donna a glare and continues.

"Regardless, I have no fears of her meeting the other Lords."

"And for the rest of the meeting?"

"I have no doubts that she will be on her best behavior, more than likely nervous, but that's to be expected. But she's diligent and obedient and she's well aware of the dangers of stepping out of line in front of Miranda so I have no concerns regarding her or her behavior."

"Very well then, I'm glad to hear of your confidence in her."

"How do you think the mold will affect her?"

"Truthfully, I am not sure. It may not have any effect on her given she was only exposed to traces of the mold. The salve contains mold, but is not entirely composed of it. If she were to be truly infected, I believe any mutations that were to occur, would have by now. Given she only drank half of a bottle and subsequently threw most of it up, I don't think there was enough in her system to have any true, noticeable effects. I would keep a close eye on her just in case."

Alcina goes to speak but is interrupted by the door slamming open. Angie flies into the room and flies around Alcina.

"Sheeeeee's awakeeeee!! Your little friend is so cute even after she rolled down the stairs!"

Alcina swats at Angie to try and get her away. Angie stops just above Alcina and Alcina looks up into the dolls eyes and glares.

"Get out of my way." Alcina growls.

"Ohhhh someone's touchy! What? Can't handle being away from your lover for five minutes?! Tsk tsk, how would Mother Miranda feel knowing you've become so attached to a human!" Angie's screeching cackle echoes through the room.

Alcina begins to shake with anger, her claws slowly extend, digging into the arms of the chair.

"Angie! That is enough." Donna scolds the doll.

"Oh come on Dondon! I'm just playing!" She says as she floats into Donna's lap.

Alcina makes a disgusted face at the horrid nickname and her claws retract.

"Donna, thank you, for everything." Alcina says as she stands.

"Of course, I'm glad I was able to help and I am glad she is okay."

"What about me?!" Angie whines.

"You are nothing but a nuisance." She spits.

"Oh come on Alci! You're no fun!"

"Do not call me that."

"Ugh! No fun!"

Alcina decides to leave the room before she loses her quickly thinning patience and rips the doll to shreds. Making her way towards her bedroom, she hears a group of heartbeats coming from the room. Worried that some mutation happened, Alcina throws the door open to find her three girls sitting around you.

She's relieved and happily surprised when she sees Daniela laying next to you and Bela and Cassandra both sitting on the edge of the bed.

The four of you turn around when the door is thrown open and you see Alcina step into the room. A look of worry on her face melts into happiness as her eyes scan each of you.

"Hi mother! We hope you didn't mind us sending Angie to let you know y/n was awake, we didn't want to leave her." Daniela says, curled into you.

"As much as I detest that doll, I don't. Thank you for letting me know." She says as she walks further into the room and stands at the side of the bed in between Bela and Cassandra. She reaches out her hand and gently brushes the hair out of your face. "How are you feeling, draga?"

Truthfully, you still felt like shit, but you weren't in any pain anymore. Your body was sore and you felt exhausted.

"I'm okay, sore, tired."

"Daughters, why don't you go downstairs?"

Alcina's suggestion was met with a chorus of whines and displeasure.

"But mom!"

"Do we have to?"

"Why?"

"Because she needs to get cleaned up and rest."

"But-"

"My word is final."

Reluctantly, the girls get up and make their way out of the room. But not before each giving you a hug, with Daniela kissing your head before floating away.

Alcina sits on the edge of the bed and gently cups your cheek, caressing you with her thumb. The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

As you look into her eyes you see the softness that made you fall in love with her. You can see how she's looking at you, with adoration, with love, with concern. For someone who wears such a strong mask all of the time, everything she's feeling and thinking is etched into her face right now. How can someone think of her as vicious? As evil? Your mind starts to spiral at the thought. How could she kill Stefana like that? How can she be so kind and loving, yet so ruthless? The push and pull of your thoughts start to overwhelm you and Alcina immediately picks up on it.

"What's the matter?"

"I-I'm just having a hard time processing everything, is all."

"I'm sure, between getting shoved down the stairs and then healed the way you were, it must be difficult."

"It's not only that." You say as you look down. "Its," you voice trails off and Alcina lets out a small sigh.

"How I killed her?"

Your eyes slowly look up, meeting hers. Expecting to see frustration in her eyes, you're surprised when the softness is still there.

"That, and that you killed her, period."

"Darling, you do know she's not the only person I've done that to, yes? She is far from the first person I've had to kill."

"How many people?"

Alcina pauses for a moment to think.

"I stopped counting decades ago, I believe I lost count around 75 or 80. I'm sure it's well into the hundreds by now, a thousand even."

She says it in such a casual manner you wouldn't believe she was talking about murder if someone joined in the conversation right then. This woman, the woman you love, has taken the lives of so many. It's not really something you thought about or took into consideration before this since you were never exposed to it.

Your mind begins to wander, spiraling a bit at the thought. Alcina notices you get lost and she pulls you out before you go into a complete spiral.

"Draga, I know this must be difficult for you, but you did know of the rumors surrounding this castle, didn't you? I heard you tell your aunt the day you were sold to me that they were sending you to your death. Surely you were aware of what goes on here."

"I was, but, I don't know. It's so hard making it make sense. It made sense when I thought everything in this castle was evil, that you were bloodthirsty and killed for fun. But now, I know you. I know your heart, I know that this castle isn't filled with evil, that you all just do what you have to to survive. You, the girls, you're all so amazing, and I love you all so much and it's so hard for me to think that you also do this horrible things too because that's not who you are."

"Oh, draga." She says as she lays down next to you and pulls you into her. "You are truly one of the sweetest souls I've ever come to know." Placing a kiss on your head, Alcina hugs you tighter. "I know it's difficult to rationalize, and I hope this doesn't change the way you feel towards me, towards the girls, but that is who we are. I believe Zina has said this before, nothing is 100% good or 100% evil. Yes, the girls and I have all of those wonderful qualities that you love, but we also have dark ones. Ones that make us monsters to the outside world. Humans are complex creatures, once there's a mutation involved, the complexity increases tenfold. I have to admit, I tried to shield you from the horrors that go on here as best as I could, it's one of the reasons I explicitly told you to stay away from the dungeons. But I knew in time that the façade would crumble and you would see what truly happens here. I just hoped it wouldn't be at your expense, and for that I am so deeply sorry."

Alcina hugs you a little tighter and buries her nose in your hair. Both Alcina's and Zina's words repeat in your head. "Nothing is 100% good or 100% evil." "They have good in them, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it." Trying to reconcile both parts of Alcina and the girls into one isn't something you're going to be able to do instantaneously, there's a part of you that's afraid you're going to lose your humanity if you do. But as you're laying here in Alcina's arms, the only thing that matters is how much you love her, how much you care for her and how much she loves you.

"I love you, Alcina." You whisper as you curl into her more.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, draga mea."

Alcina places a kiss on your temple and her hand goes to rest against the back of your head. As she does, you're both reminded of the dried blood matted in your hair. Honestly, you're still covered in blood, dried blood now, and even though Alcina changed, she still has a decent amount on her as well.

"You should get washed up, you still have blood caked in your hair." Alcina says softly. "Can you get up?"

She moves to let go of you and you try to sit up. There's no sharp pain, but your whole body hurts, your whole body feels like one gigantic bruise. Alcina notices you struggle and helps sit you up.

"Here, let me, I don't want you hurting yourself further." She stands up and scoops you into her arms bridal style and walks you into the bathroom.

"Let me help you bathe, I want to make sure all of the blood gets out of your hair."

"You have to shower too, right?" You ask.

"Yes, but I can do that after you're done." She says, smiling down at you.

"Would you, you don't have to, but, would you want to join me?"

"Draga, please don't feel like you have to-"

"I don't, I promise. I just want you close is all."

Alcina's heart is so full she feel like it's going to explode inside of her chest. As you look up at her with the biggest eyes, she falls in love all over again.

"Of course, draga mea."

She sits you on the bench and you start to take off your clothes as Alcina fills the tub and removes her dress and underwear. Normally when you see her naked, you immediately want to pounce on her. This time, all you see is her beauty. There's a nervousness to her you never would have expected, but oddly, it comforts you to know that even with the mutation she's still able to hold onto her humanity.

Alcina picks you up and brings you to the tub. After she steps in she lowers the both of you into the water.

You let out a soft hiss as the water hits your skin but you quickly adjust to the temperature.

"Is it too hot?" Alcina asks with concern in her voice.

"No, it's perfect, I just needed a second to adjust." You say as you look up at her.

She places a kiss on your forehead and lays your back against her chest. The dried blood from your skin runs into the water in light pink trails. Alcina cups the water in her hand and pours it over your back and shoulders, the warmth soothing you aching muscles. She pours some of the water over herself and you can feel the streams slide between your bodies. Scooting you forward, Alcina tilts your head back and begins to pour the water over your hair. Once she's satisfied, you're able to lift your head while she lathers the shampoo into her hands.

Looking down you realize that the water is stained pink, a sadness washes over you although you're unsure why. It's a big tub you're both in, for the water to be stained pink, there had to be a lot of blood on the two of you. You lift your hand from the water and watch as the pink liquid runs between your fingers back into the tub.

"Pay that no mind, draga mea." Alcina says as she begins to massage the shampoo into your scalp. She smirks when she hears you let out a sigh as she washes your hair. "Good," she hums. "just relax my pet, let me take care of you."

After she rinses out the shampoo, Alcina coats the ends of your hair with conditioner and begins to brush out the knots and matts. She washes out the conditioner and proceeds to shampoo and condition her own hair. Once she's finished with that, she pours a generous amount of soap onto a washcloth and begins to wash your body.

Alcina drags the washcloth across your skin with care, making sure she removes every ounce of stubborn dried blood that hasn't yet been washed away. As she washes you, she examines your body, her heart aching at every bruise she comes across.

The healing salve healed every cut and all of the major injuries you sustained, but tender bruises still remain. Where your ribs and wrist were once broken, deep purple bruises developed. As much as Alcina hates that they litter your body, it provides her some relief knowing you weren't exposed to too much of the mold. Enough to heal your major wounds, but not enough to cause any mutations or more harm.

She turns you around and holds your chin as she wipes the dried blood from your face. You watch her eyes as the scan every inch of your skin. Making sure not a single speck of blood is left. After one more once-over she nods to herself, satisfied. Her eyes flick down and meet yours and the corner of her lips curl into a faint smile. With your chin still between her thumb and forefinger, she tilts your face up and captures your lips in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

When her lips leave yours, she looks into your eyes for a few moments before placing a kiss on your forehead. The sensation of her lips lingers on your skin after she pulls away. Alcina turns you back around and washes herself. More trails of blood seep into the water as she washes off the remainder of the soap on her skin.

Alcina wraps her arm around your middle and pulls you into her. She reaches across the tub and pulls out the drain stopper. You watch as the blood stained water whirlpools around the drain and disappears. All of the blood, a mixture of yours and Stefana's, vanishing as if it was never there to begin with. Thinking the bath is done, you move to get up. Alcina pulls you tighter into her, keeping you in place.

"We are not quite finished yet draga. I want you to soak for a little longer. However, sitting in bloody water is not ideal so I am drawing a fresh bath."

When the water finally drains Alcina replaces the stopper and turns on the taps to fill the tub up once more. The sensation of the cool air against your wet skin sends a shiver down your spine and you shudder. Alcina feels you shake in her arms and pulls you closer. Her usually cool skin is now warm from the bath. The chill in your body melts as she wraps both of her arms around you while the tub continues to fill.

She shifts around behind you and you hear the clinking of glass bottles. You watch as she pours some of her oils and salts into the tub as it fills. The aromas rise through the steam, mixing and mingling together to form a relaxing and calming scent.

The two of you lay in the tub in a comfortable silence as the water continues to rise. Alcina rests her cheek on the top of your head and you feel her let out a heavy exhale. Tightening your grip a little on her arms that are wrapped around you, she hums in response and gently brushes her nose against the shell of your ear.

Alcina leans forward when the tub fills, her arm tightening around you, keeping you close to her, and turns off the taps. She rests against the back of the tub and you lean back against her chest. Another comfortable silence washes over the two of you as you relax in each others arms. Alcina's nails aimlessly dance along your sides and you trace random shapes across her thighs.

This truly feels like the longest day to ever exist. It feels like you were asked to help Alcina with filing days ago, not this morning. Like your confrontation with Stefana was so long ago. That all of the pain you endured from tumbling down the stairs didn't occur just a few hours ago. Especially since you sustained injuries that should have taken weeks to heal, not instantly. But now, here you were. Relaxing in the bath with Alcina holding you tightly against her. Without realizing it, you let out a sigh and allow yourself to fully relax into her.

"Are you alright, draga?" Alcina asks.

"Mhm." You hum. "It's just been a long day."

"It certainly has been." She says with a sigh. "I believe I still owe you an explanation." Craning your neck, you look up at her with confusion written across your face. "About the mold."

You feel the lightbulb go off in your head.

"Oh, right. What is it?"

"I might as well start from the beginning if I want to give you an accurate picture." She says.

Alcina begins to tell you about how Miranda lost her daughter, Eva, and came across the Megamycete, also known as The Black God and it bestowed her incredible powers. From there, she began experimenting on residents of the village to try and find a "vessel" that could host her daughters consciousness that lived on in the Megamycete. Eventually, she created the Cadou, a parasite that causes the host to mutate in hopes of creating a perfect vessel for Eva. Miranda used the parasite on the descendants of the four founders of the village. Donna, Karl, Salvatore and herself.

"I was the first successful experiment." Alcina says. "And by 'successful,' I mean I didn't die or turn into a moroaică or a lycan. But in Miranda's eyes I was still considered a failure because I was not an acceptable vessel for Eva."

"Why not?"

"Because the cadou didn't necessarily cure my blood disease. Instead, I now rely on the blood of humans to survive."

The puzzle pieces in your mind begin to fall into place.

"What was it like? When you got the cadou?"

"It was horrific. I had never experienced pain like that in my entire life. Every second was more painful and excruciating than the last. It took weeks for my mutation to complete and I was given nothing to help with the pain."

"Wait, so she just let you suffer?"

"Yes. She wanted to document how it affected my body and needed me to be conscious to properly document the outcome."

"So you just woke up in pain and continued to be in pain for weeks?"

"There was no 'waking up in pain.'"

"I don't understand."

Alcina sighs and you look up. Her eyes have a faraway look in them as she recalls the procedure.

"I was dying, as I told you before. Mother Miranda promised me immortality, great power, endless beauty, and a cure. With nothing left to lose I immediately accepted her offer and met her here in the village. She brought me into her lab and briefly explained the procedure. Not once did she mention the torture I was about to endure. I stripped and laid down on the operating table. Mother Miranda strapped me down and it wasn't until then did I think I may have made a mistake. That she was not honest with her intentions. But it was too late. She carved into my body and implanted the cadou."

"And you were awake the whole time?"

"Yes. I felt every single thing she did to me." You look up at her with concern in your eyes. Alcina looks down at you and sees the look on your face. "Please don't fret about it draga mea, it was a very, very long time ago."

"But still-"

"But still nothing, what has happened has happened. There is nothing either one of us can do that will change the past. The only thing I can do now is protect you from experiencing the torture I endured."

Nodding your head, you lean back against Alcina who wraps her arms around you again.

"So what happened after that?"

She continues to explain how Miranda trusted her, made her a Lord, and even allowed her to conduct her own experiments on maids of the castle under Miranda's supervision.

"So you implanted the cadou into your maids? Is that what Miranda came for the first time I met her?"

"Yes. The experiments still take place in the laboratory in the dungeons." A shiver crawls up your spine and doesn't go unnoticed by Alcina. There it is again, that push and pull between viewing Alcina as the woman you love and the ruthless murderer she is.

"You put them through the same torture that you went through?"

"Essentially. Most of the moroaică, were dead maids before implanting the cadou into them. But yes, some maids were alive when they were experimented on."

"Why would you do that? If you knew how horrible it was, why would you knowingly put someone else through the same thing?!"

"It's complicated, draga. Mother Miranda did not give me a choice in the beginning. And in order to survive, I needed flesh and blood. I was revolted at first, truly. The thought of killing people, eating them, drinking their blood was awful. But as time went on, I became accustomed to what I had to do to survive."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy what?"

"Killing people, eating them, drinking their blood? All of it."

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

You pause for a moment to consider her question. Is that really an answer you need? Will you be able to live with yourself if you say no, will you be able to sleep at night not knowing how she feels? Although you have a feeling you already know what her answer will be. What if she says yes? Will you be able to live with yourself for loving someone who enjoys such horrific things? No matter how you answer her question, no answer is going to sit right with you.

The newfound relationship between you and Alcina is being rebuilt on trust and honesty. How can you possibly keep that going if you don't give her the opportunity to be honest with you? Even if it's at your expense. No, you don't want to know the answer, but she deserves the opportunity to be honest with you.

"No, not really. But it would be wrong for me to deny you the chance to be honest with me about these things. So, no, I don't want to know, but you deserve the chance to tell me the truth, regardless of how I'm going to feel about it."

"Draga, are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ask me again."

"Do you enjoy killing people?"

"Yes."

Even though you knew what her answer was going to be deep down, her confession washed over you like a bucket of cold water. Here you were, laying in the arms of a true predator. Someone who enjoyed killing, who took pleasure in torturing people. She could rip you to shreds in an instant and would probably be able to find the joy in it even though she loves you.

Yet somehow, you still loved her. It made your stomach twist in all of the wrong ways knowing you were in love with someone like that. It made you begin to question your own sanity. Your mind raced a million miles an hour as you tried to sort through the thousands of thoughts and emotions that began to surface. Alcina was well aware of the fact that you were struggling to process what she said, that you were trying to make sense of it. She sat there in silence with her arms wrapped around you for a few minutes, allowing you time to process everything. She finally broke the silence when she felt you were starting to spiral.

"I know it's not easy to understand, or to accept." Alcina says, brushing your hair away from your face and pulling you back to reality. "I know how you see me, how you see the girls. You see the parts of us that the rest of the world refuses to believe exists. You see the humanity in us and I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it has been to be viewed as human instead of a monster. But we are both. We are humans. Mutants would perhaps be a more accurate term. Regardless, we are humans and monsters, draga mea." You recoil a little when you hear Alcina call herself and the girls monsters. It makes your blood want to boil. "I despise when people call us monsters, I truly do. But part of the reason that I hate it so much is because there is truth to it. It's an ugly, horrible truth, but it's the truth. We are monsters, draga. Even though we are more than that, it's still apart of who we are."

"Then what does that make me? Does it mean that I've lost my humanity? Don't get me wrong, I hate that you enjoy hurting people, it makes me feel sick. But it doesn't make me love you or the girls any less. That scares me Alcina."

Alcina's knuckle rests under your chin and she guides your gaze up towards her. Her golden eyes are glowing and you lose yourself in them for a moment.

"It makes you the most kind, most understanding person I've ever met. I never thought that anyone would ever be able to see past the horrors. That we would only ever be seen as monsters. Then you came along. For the first time since I became what I am today, a human saw me as more than just a monster. You saw the humanity in me I thought I lost long ago. You have every right to be scared, but I promise, no matter what, I will keep you safe. I will never harm you and I will do everything to ensure that no harm ever comes to you again."

And you believed her. There are probably hundreds, thousands of people who would call you stupid for believing her, but none of them know Alcina like you do. If she says you're safe, that she would never hurt you, that she would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, it's the truth.

She goes on to explain one particular experiment where the cadou was used on three maids. Over the course of a week, blowflies consumed their bodies and eventually assimilated their DNA and were able to reform as the maids. They became the Countess's three daughters. Bela woke up first, then Cassandra and then finally Daniela.

"They were all deemed failures, unacceptable vessels for Eva because of their vulnerability to the cold. None of them remember their lives before the cadou implantation and when they awoke I immediately formed a bond with them. Miranda decided to gift the girls to me, for me to raise as my own. After decades of being in this castle alone and isolated, aside from the maids, I finally had a family of my own, three beautiful daughters. It was the happiest day of my life."

You look up at Alcina and immediately notice the beautiful glow in her eyes as she thought back on the memory. A smile ghosting her lips as she talked about the girls. Her eyes slowly shift down to you and lock with yours. She leans down and places a kiss on your forehead and holds you tighter.

"So the mold I drank came from the Black God?"

"Yes, although there were only traces of the mold in the salve. It was not composed entirely of mold which is why you remained unaffected by it. I suspect that only drinking half of the bottle and throwing up most of what you did drink was also a factor."

"Will I have a higher tolerance to it now since I've drank it?"

"I do not know draga. Truthfully, I would never like to find out. The risks associated with infecting you with the mold or the cadou are dangerous. I will fight to the death to keep you from experiencing it, to keep you safe. To keep me from losing you. I can't lose you draga mea. I can't. I won't." Her tone becomes harsh and protective as her grip around you tightens. "Especially after today. I thought you were- I stopped hearing your heartbeat- you were on the floor, in a pool of blood-" Alcina shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut, holding back tears. "I can't lose you. I'm certain it would kill me."

Even in her tight grip, you manage to turn around and wrap your arms around her neck. Alcina cradles the back of your head with one hand and the other sprawls out across your back.

"I love you, Alcina."

"Si eu te iubesc draga mea." (I love you too my darling.)

The two of you hold each other for a few minutes. Never have you felt more vulnerable, more in love, or felt this close to Alcina as you lay there skin-to-skin.

Neither of you realized the bath water had gone cold until goosebumps covered across your skin.

Alcina holds you close to her, her hand still against your back, and leans forward to pull the drain plug. She stands with you in her arms and grabs an extra large towel to wrap around the both of you. Exhaustion begins to make itself known in your body as she carries you into the bedroom. Alcina dries the both of you off and sits you down on the bed. She walks over to the wardrobe and pulls out two nightgowns in two very different sizes. The smaller one for you, the much larger one for herself.

Once you're both dressed, Alcina pulls down the duvet and you wiggle underneath it. She gracefully slides under the sheets next to you and covers you both with the duvet once more. You cuddle into Alcina as close as you possibly can and she chuckles. Sliding her arm underneath you, Alcina rolls onto her back and pulls you on top of her.

"Goodnight my love." She says as she places a kiss on your forehead.

"Goodnight Alcina." Your voice barely a whisper as you drift off to sleep.

When you wake up your whole body feels cold and sore. As your eyes flicker open, it takes them a moment to adjust to the dim light. You have no idea where you are. Sitting up in a daze, you realize you're laying on a cold, stone floor. A piercing scream jolts you out of your daze and you stand up.

"Alcina?" You call out with a shaking voice.

A second scream rings out and your eyes dart around as you try to figure out your surroundings.

"Where am- is this the dungeon?" You think to yourself. Another scream echoes through the air.

Turning to your left you see the rusted cell door is open and you step out into the dungeon. More noises echo down the hall and you follow them as your heart beats wildly in your chest.

Terrifying cackles and giggles grow louder and louder. The hall opens up to a larger room and you see three cloaked figures bending over something. The closer you get you realize they're on top of someone, a maid, who's flailing underneath them.

"Daniela? Bela? Cass?"

The girls turn around and you immediately notice there's blood covering their faces and running down the front of their dresses. Their eyes are wide and wild. Looking down, you freeze when you see Stefana on the floor, reaching out towards you. She has massive chunks bitten from her flesh.

"Help me! Please!" She screams. "They're monsters!"

You take a few shaking steps backwards and fall as the girls walk towards you.

"Alcina!" You cry out.

The sound of a dark chuckle fills your ears and a figure emerges from the shadows. Looking up, you freeze in fear when you see Alcina. Her eyes are swirling gold and she has the most sinister look on her face. She walks up to Stefana and looks down, her smile growing wider. Alcina reaches down and lifts Stefana by her shirt.

"Please-" Stefana begins to scream but Alcina bites down hard on her throat and rips it out. Blood splatters everywhere and you let out a blood-curdling scream.

Alcina tosses Stefana's body away and continues her walk towards you. The girls step aside so their mother could pass and Alcina stops in front of you.

She bends down to get closer to you. You can see the blood dripping from her chin, the crimson color blending in perfectly with her lipstick. You can smell the fresh blood, see how it coats her teeth. You look into her eyes and you don't see the soft, loving look you're so used to. In it's place is a feral, wild, terrifying look.

"Alcina," you sob.

"What's the matter, draga? Are you afraid?" Her tone is condescending, like she's mocking you. All you can do is nod your head as tears fall down your cheeks.

Alcina snatches you by the neck and stands up to her full height, keeping you eye-level with her. You dig your nails into her wrist, desperately trying to get her to let you go.

"Alcina, please! You said you would never hurt me!"

Her laugh is low and dark, it shoots fear straight through you.

"And you actually believed me? Silly girl." She says before she unsheathes her claws.

"Please! Alcina! I love you! Please don't, please!"

"This is what you get when you love a monster."

She reels her arm back and slashes at you. The last thing you see are her swirling gold eyes before everything goes dark.

[jester089]

High on life, and coffee

Been thinking about this for a while so I'm gonna write it. This one needs a bit of set up though. I've been thinking a reader who is really really fast. Like fast enough to just run on walls or ceilings when way to energetic. Kind of like a super powered slightly more mature kid. TADC Crew x Hyper, Fast, & Optimistic Reader

You were overwhelming to everyone. You always having a seemingly limitless amount of energy and just overall happiness for everyone and thing around you. Because of how you act everyone sees you as childish. But that honestly isn't true. You've been here longer then Kinger but you are strangely ok mentally. I mean the circus is tiring and childish but have you ever thought about if a child found it? I mean people in the circus don't age so someone who's energetic and not mature would be perfect. You aren't really immature though. Just a lot. You remind everyone of a cat with how you get zoomies and just sprint around till you tire yourself out.

Caine quite likes how you are. You don't complain and happily go on adventures. And he can be wild around you without worrying about freaking you out because you always match if not exceed his energy. One time he gave you a incredibly strong energy drink because Jax said you asked for it. That was an awful day for everyone involved. The day ended with thousands of dollars in damages and not a soul you included getting out unharmed. ~~~~~ You were sitting in your room physically shaking. You want to get up and do something but Caine said he has something to show you. So you're doing you best to be patient. Caine pops into existence next to you. You quickly stand up exited to hear what he has to say. "Hello my speedy friend! I have some amazing news! I'm expanding your room and adding a hamster wheel so you can run as long as you like without breaking things!" He snaps and one of your walls extends more then doubling your room size. And just as he said their is a giant hamster wheel. You get in to try it out. After running for a bit you get out thank and hug him. "Oh it's no trouble! I'm glad you enjoy it!" Caine disappears and you get back to running. It feels nice being able to go as fast as you want. I give the hamster wheel a day before it's broken.

Gangle is a tough one. She likes how energetic you are and feels more ok being herself when you're around. But you are also a lot and she can't always handle that. Despite you regularly moving at the speed of sound you never mess with her or break her masks. So she's grow to enjoy having you around. Do be careful though cause if you sprint by her just the speed in which you were going will knock her over. She doesn't have the body mass to be able to deal with normal wind non the less your shockwave things. ~~~~~ You sprint into a room looking for someone to talk to. You see Gangle and run over to her feeling bad when she falls over. Once she's back up you start talking at her, no matter how hard she tries she doesn't get a word in before your on a new topic. Eventually with Pomni's help you calm down ever so slightly and start having a genuine conversation with the two. That of course doesn't last long. You get maybe a minute into the conversation before you sprint off again. Gangle who was mid sentence stares at the door you just zoomed through. It's not like this is the first time you've done that. It's still surprising though.

Zooble is consistently annoyed by you. You have so much energy, talk faster then anyone can understand, and are constantly talking. She can't even avoid you as you can easily do a lap of the entire circus if you feel like it. You're just so loud and forget that personal space exists. So she doesn't like you. But she's kind of forced to get used to you as you're consistently everywhere at once. On the plus side you can find anything in a matter of seconds so she goes to you if she needs something. You can also get to places everyone else can't so if she wants alone time she'll ask you to put her really up high or something so no one but you can bother her. ~~~~~ Zooble is wandering around looking for you. She calls you name out every now and again. You two set up this awesome roof fort that only you are able to get into and she wants some time away from everyone. She call out one more time jumping when you come crashing through a wall at like 300mph. You skid across the ground face first coming to a stop right in front of her. She gets a little worried when you don't move but you soon hop up and dust yourself off asking what she needs. "I want in the roof fo-" She doesn't even get to finish her sentence before you pick her up, hold her above your head, and sprint off. She has to bundle up a bit to not lose any of her pieces just from the sheer speed you're moving.

Kinger going to have a heart attack every time you wiz by just saying. You never calm down and never stop, so he can't do much. He's intelligent and calm. Thinking things through and much preferring to just be comfy. You are the dead opposite never slowing down and acting exclusively on instincts and impulse. You honestly freak him out when you appear cause chaos in a room then zoom out leaving whoever is there to clean up. If any one Kinger would be the one to get you to calm down. If he manages that he's really surprised by how smart and mature you are. You have more energy then you know what to do with but you aren't stupid. From then he appreciates you a lot more. And he keeps stocked up on calming things like music or tea to help you out. ~~~~~ Kinger is laying in his fort thinking about his life and past life when he hears some incredibly rapid knocking on the door. He knowing who it is sets up a crash pad with his extra pillows and blankets then opens the door not surprised when you basically fly in crashing in the crash pad at unreasonable speeds. "Hey Kinger! Can I tell you something cool?! Can I, can I, can I!?!" Kinger smiles at you and nods while getting comfortable again. "I learned a new trick! Watch!" You pull a broom out of seemingly no where and balance it on your palm. You only keep it up for 10 seconds before it falls straight in your face. "Did'ja see?!" "I saw. Is that all you wanted to show me?" You nod and run up to the door. You throw it open and sprint out. Kinger is about to stand up to close it before you pop your head back in say bye and close the door behind you.

Ragatha would be the only real one who starts out trying to be around you. You're a lot, a lot more then she can keep up with. But she isn't just going to leave you alone because of that. It takes her a while to be able to make out what your saying but once she does it feels more like a friendship rather then her worrying about you. She wont admit it but she secretly goes to you asking for piggyback rides. The wind in her hair makes her remember the real world in a way that doesn't make her feel worse. She will unironically try to ground you when you break things. She never follows through though cause she knows you aren't trying to break things. You just move way to fast for even you to handle. ~~~~~ "Y/N GET DOWN HERE! YOU'RE 500 FEET OFF THE GROUND YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT!" You, who is sitting up on the highest ledge in the circus glare down at her. "What if I don't want to. What then? Also you don't have any say over me I'm my own person." She is going to yell at you again before you slip, fall, and land exclusively on your face. She rushes over and helps you up. Surprisingly you're completely fine. "See I told'ja. I run into things at much faster speeds then that. I'm durable. Not I'm going to go annoy Caine for something sweet because I want something sweet. BYE!" You leave her in that room. She just stares in the direction you ran slightly surprised, and slightly annoyed. You have zero self preservation and you wont listen to her. It worries her. But she can't argue with the fact you're durable. I mean you're the only person she knows who could fall from that height and still move. None the less talk, walk, and run. After she snaps out of it she gets up to follow you knowing full well you've probably already gotten yourself into trouble again.

Jax after trying and failing to so much as touch you stops trying to "prank" you and switches to trying to get you to help him. He never tells you what you're helping with but he's gotten you to listen anyways. Until you inevitably find out what you're helping with his "pranks" get much more elaborate and hard to avoid. I pray for the poor sucker who walks into them. Cause trust me their going to be cruel. ~~~~~

"Little to the left. No to far. Yeah right there. This is gonna be perfect." "Nice! So... Why exactly did I set up this giant hammer?" "Oh uhh... Caine made this giant piggy bank that we have to destroy to win todays adventure. You want to win the adventure don't you?" "Of course I do! Do we need anything else?" "Yeah could you get some more rope." You give him a thumbs up and run out. Jax turns back to the door trap you set up without even knowing it. He sees Kinger start walking in and gets a huge smile. He pushes a little button and the giant hammer falls and hit Kinger straight in the face knocking him out and rearranging his entire face and head. Jax starts laughing hard as you come back in with the requested rope. You drop it and freak out when you see Kinger running over to him wanting to help.

Pomni is already jumpy without someone sprinting around at mach 2. Despite how often you scare her you apologizing and offering help is something she likes. Sadly with you there her hopes of finding an exit were quickly crushed. You picked her up and sprinted around the entire circus showing her every inch. And just as everyone says their wasn't an exit. She gets really depressed after that. She's less jumpy and more mopey. She thanks you for your help and wanders off towards her room leaving you alone to feel bad. ~~~~~ "It's just... Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to help..." "No you didn't do anything wrong. She just believed so hard that there was an exit. And by helping her you proved that their isn't." Your frown only deepens at that. You weren't trying to make her lose hope... Maybe you could do something nice for her. You and Kinger have been working on something for Pomni with some help from Ragatha. Once it's finished you thank him for the help and run off to her room. Once you get there you knock... Nothing. You ring the doorbell... Also nothing. You swear you hear something glitchy but only for a moment. Worrying. So you leave the gift in front of her door with a little hand written apology note. (Another story done. Sorry to all my requestors I've just been writing more casually and for what I want to write recently.)

xoxo, Jester

[musicalcastingideas]

Dropout Does The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

So my theory about overlap of Dropout and Team Starkid seems to be accurate, and people seemed to like my Dropout does Nerdy Prudes Must Die post, so I'm back for another. Same method and criteria as my previous post, you can go see that if you want to know what they are. Also, I have previously done a similar list with Internet Personalities that included a handful of Dropout people, but I'm gonna try to make this one different.

Also spoilers for potentially anything in the Hatchetfield verse

Paul: Ross Bryant

Ross is a great straight man (in the comedy sense, I don't know his sexuality) while being very funny in his own right, and I think, while Paul has a lot of his own funny moments, it's very important that his character is also the more normal guy reacting to the madness around him. Also, he would slay the Jekyll and Hyde homage that is Let it Out.

Emma : Siobhan Thompson

I think one of the essential parts of Emma's character is an underlying exhaustion with the world, and that is very Adaine Abernant and Ruby Rocks, so I think Siobhan would embody that very well.

Charlotte: Vic Michaelis

I don't think I've ever heard them do a transatlantic accent before, but I just have this gut feeling they'd be so good at it.

Ted: Ify Nwadiwe

While I do genuinely think Ify would be great in the part, if I'm being fully honest, this casting is because I (despite my better judgment) find Ted Spankoffski hot, so casting arguably the hottest man in Dropout in this part makes me seem less damaged for being attracted to the self-proclaimed sleazeball. Also him and Vic seem like they would be great playing off each other.

Bill: Brian "Murph" Murphy

He just has "refuses to drink during the apocalypse so he can be the DD" energy.

Mr Davidson: Brian David Gilbert

Since I'm splitting up all the parts, this basically turns Mr Davidson into a Princess Track where the actor just shows up, sings about desire and being choked while he jerks off, but laments how he can never achieve his dreams, and then pretty much leaves, and I don't know why, but that seems right up BDG's alley.

Melissa: Lisa Gilroy

Lisa Gilroy seems nice, but also kinda scares me, and those are the correct vibes for Melissa (#heymelissacore)

Sam: Jacob Wysoki

My only concern about this casting is that he'd go SO HARD in You Tied Up My Heart that he would keep breaking the handcuffs and/or chair, but that's fine, it would be worth it.

Nora: Katie Marovitch

The "Decaf?" parts of Cup of Roasted Coffee already sounds a bit like her TBH.

Zoey: Rehka Shankar

I feel like Zoey is such an underrated, funny side character in the show (I know she's a very small part, but like every line she has is a banger) and I feel like Rehka is a very underrated performer, so this is a good match.

Greenpeace Girl: Persephone Valentine

Making up the Save the Sea Turtles campaign is such a Sam Nightengale move, and also she would eat up Lah Dee Dah Dah Day.

Alice: Surena Marie

She's got a bit of a baby face (I thought she was like 25) and I think she would handle the change from Alice to Hivemind Alice really well.

Deb: Emily Axford

I'm definitely not just casting this because I want Emily to be my protective and caring girlfriend...

Professor Hidgens: Josh Ruben

I don't have an explanation for this one, this is vibes alone.

General MacNamara: Brennan Lee Mulligan

"Wear a Watch" and a song highlighting how the hivemind is essentially fascist and using the military to destroy any resistance to their regime is so Brennan core.

Homeless Man: Ally Beardlsey

I just feel like this is the part they'd want.

Dan Reynolds: Lou Wilson

Icons play Icons.

Donna: Aabria Iyengar

Icons play Icons

Hard Cuts:

Jacob Wysoki as Ted

Mike Trapp as Paul

Emily Axford as Emma

Jess Ross as Charlotte

Lily Du as Zoey

Grant O'Brien as Professor Hidgens

Grant O'Brien as Ted

Ally Beardlsey as Ted

[septembersums]

𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝑫𝒂𝒚 4 | 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒌

| 18+ MINORS DNI | taglist | masterlist | art credits |

pairing: suguru x reader

summary: an aspect of suguru's personality that isn't normally talked about is his deep, consuming desire to be praised, to be worshipped, to have people who will devote themselves entirely to him. he has ways of achieving this: charisma, charm, intimidation...

but suguru's favorite type of adoration isn't coerced. it's given freely, openly, honestly, and most importantly, it's given by you.

content: praise kink | cult stuff | curse users | suguru being whiny and desperate for you | topping from the bottom | needy submissive suguru | femdom | submissive suguru | drunk sex |

wc: 1.9k

a/n: i love the idea of whiny needy suguru so much it's rotting my brain. u both worship each other but maybe suguru worships u even more than u do him ;)

links: | ao3 | old tumblr | twitter | discord |

Maybe it started in high school, when Suguru was always known to be the second best. Of course Gojo would tell him that they're the strongest together, that the power difference between the two of them doesn't mean anything, because they're friends.

But to Suguru, it was never good enough. He could never shine on his own when he standing right next to the sun incarnate. He had to leave, he had to make a better world for the people that mattered to him: sorcerers.

Those with cursed energy will rule the world, and he'll make sure of it. He'll be personally responsible for bringing forth a new age where curses don't exist, and for that-- he will be worshipped.

He's already worshipped by his followers, now deemed his family, but their praise doesn't mean half as much to him as yours does.

It was two years ago when Suguru found you working as a barista in a local coffee shop. He'd come once a week or so, and he'd make conversation with you. It was casual talk, nothing of significance; he certainly didn't bring up that you were dripping in cursed energy.

The timing just wasn’t right, not quite yet.

No, he didn't tell you about the world that you’ll rule with him. Until one morning during one of his visits, you were being absolutely berated by a man in his fifties for not getting his iced americano right.

He thought about killing the man right then and there for not noticing your worth, for not realizing that the person he was screaming at was so far above him that she's practically a different species.

A monkey screaming at a goddess-- what a fucking shame.

He threw his iced americano onto your white shirt, you quit your job, and a first grade curse user was born.

Suguru likes to think about that morning when he's drinking, such as he is tonight. Sake always tastes like desire to Suguru. It washes away the vomitous taste of the curses he ingests.

When you walk in the door to his room, sliding it closed quietly behind you, everything tastes and smells like sakura blooms in the height of spring. Sweet and delicate, soft and mild.

You turn to face him, and your wide eyes are so the opposite of his own. Your skin is smooth, plush in all of the perfect places, and your voice is gentle and soothing.

A curse user who carries herself like an angel, he was fucked the day he met you. He'd been chaste before you, abstinent from the sins of the flesh.

It wasn't because of any vow that he took, he just didn't find interest in the women or men who surrounded him, and he could never bring himself to fuck a filthy monkey.

You ruined him, with your soft tits and your wet pussy and your cooing voice. Your domineering tone that’s still somehow full of gentle praises. You ruined him beyond repair.

"Did you call for me, Master Geto?" You ask, falling to your knees before him out of respect.

His cock hardens underneath his robes at the sight of it.

He laughs softly, "You don't need to be so formal with me, angel."

His angel, you’ve been his angel since he first saw you with a halo of cursed energy floating around you like an ethereal glow from the heavens.

"I do," you argue, looking up at him and cocking your head to the side innocently, "because I worship you, Master Geto."

His cock goes from half-hard to throbbing against his thigh, he swallows thickly. There's a red blush extending from his pink cheeks to the tips of his ears, his chest will be splotched with roses, too.

"Is that what you'd like me to do tonight?" You ask, subservient yet sly, “Did you call me here to worship you?”

Because you can read him like a book, and though he's domineering in his daily life-- when you're alone with Geto, he becomes malleable like clay. He becomes needy, he becomes whiny, he becomes desperate.

Your thighs are clenching together already at the mere thought of it.

"Yes," he murmurs softly, "please-- come here."

So, you rise from your knees and approach him. Now he's the one sitting on the ground, while you stand in front of him, running your fingers through his hair.

You undo the loose knot at the back of his scalp, letting all of his raven hair fall loosely around his shoulders. Suguru shivers at your every touch, wrapping his hands around your thighs as he nuzzles you with his nose.

"Please me first," you hum lovingly to him, "and then I'll take care of you."

He nods eagerly, gulping as he lifts up your skirt to inhale the scent of you. He moans wantonly as he does so, nuzzling his nose against your cunt before tentatively swiping his tongue through your folds.

Your head falls back as he licks you slowly, lapping at your slick reverently.

"Good, Suguru,” you moan softly, calling him by his first name and tightening your grip in his hair, "that's good-- that's perfect.”

In front of the others, he’s Master Geto, and you belong to him just as they do. But in private, Suguru is yours.

He whimpers against your clit when you praise him, growing more and more needy by the second. To tease him, you press the sole of your foot against his hardened cock, massaging it while he swirls his tongue against your clit.

"That's it-- oh, you're amazing," you purr, as he finds the right rhythm, "just like that, make me come-- just like that."

His moans against your slick cunt vibrate you to your core, as he greedily laps you up, tongue-fucking the precise spot that you praised him for finding until the coil in your stomach tightens, and you brace yourself against his shoulder.

It hits you like a wave of warm, flowing pleasure, as you come apart on his tongue, shuddering and sighing through it, rocking your hips back and forth against his mouth to ride it out.

You're breathing heavily when you pull back from his face, looking down at him affectionately. Suguru's cheeks are red, his lips are swollen and slick with come, his breaths are faltering and unsteady.

"You look beautiful like that," you say sweetly, before gracefully lowering yourself to your knees in front of him.

You kiss him hungrily, tasting yourself on his lips, before flattening your palms to his shoulders and pushing him down onto the tatami flooring. His robes have already started to fall undone, you help them the rest of the way off.

His chest is flushed pink, much like the tip of his cock when you free it from his clothes. It's red, hard, pulsing in your hand, leaking a more than generous amount of precum as you stroke him a few times.

He whines, throwing his head back. Suguru has the most sensitive cock you've ever touched. He gets hard so easily, he cums so easily.

"Would you like me to ride you, Master Geto?" You ask softly, running your thumb along the tip of his hypersensitive cock.

It’s ironic of you to call him Master when he’s begging you for release like this.

"Y-Yes, please," he stutters, already attempting to thrust his hips up into your hand.

You allow it a few times, making a tight ring with your palm and your fingers for him to rut into, as he moans wantonly. He loves praise, he's addicted to it, and he's addicted to you.

"Ha--Ah--Ah," he moans with every cant of his hips, "oh, please, please--"

You chuckle softly, as you stop stroking him to mount him and press the leaking tip to your entrance. He's already done such a fine job at getting you wet and ready, he slides right in.

"Oh-- Oh," he whines, holding his eyes closed, "please move, please move, please-- please, angel--"

"You're so needy, Suguru," you remind him, as you lift yourself up and let your weight fall back onto the length of his cock, "so desperate, so pussy-drunk already."

"You feel so good, so good," he babbles, thrusting upwards to meet each of your movements, "ah-- ngh-- fuck."

You play with your clit while you ride him, knowing that if he's this horny and needy, he won't last too much longer. Your pussy sucks him up greedly, as your walls tighten around him, and you chase your own release before giving him his.

"Your cock is so big, you're fucking me so good," you tell him, panting now as you search for your high, riding him faster.

"More-- More, more, more," he begs, fucking up into you so hard that you're barely having to move at all, "tell me how good it feels, please tell me, please."

He squeezes your breast with one hand, gripping your ass with the other, as he leans up to suck your nipple into his mouth. Suguru loves your tits, he loves how they bounce when you ride him.

You give him what he needs, you tell him how big and hard he is, how he hits your g-spot with every thrust, how no other man could ever feel as good inside your cunt as he does. He fits you perfectly, he makes you feel so good.

You fall apart again listening to his incoherent babbling and whines, humping him with a hand pressed to his chest to hold him still while you fuck yourself through it.

His heart races when he watches you come, the sounds he makes when you clench around his cock and he involuntarily thrusts upwards are enough to drive you mad.

He says your name like a prayer, "please-- need to cum, let me cum-- tell me you want it, tell me you want me to fill you up-- need to hear it, need it, need it--"

"Cum inside me, Suguru," you rasp, coming back to your senses enough to ride him harder and faster to get him there.

His eyebrows scrunch together, he bites his lower hip, he fucks up into you like an animal who can't get enough.

"Please, Suguru," you coo, "you're so pretty when you're about to come, you make the sweetest faces, I wanna see the ones you make when you fill me up. Show me, Suguru, give it to me."

“Gonna come— Gonna come— I’m gonna— Ah—Oh fuck, fuck—“

And he does as asked, like a good boy. He grips your hips tightly, fucking you with short, stuttering movements of his hips as warmth sprays out inside of you, coating your walls in his sticky come.

"That's it, that's it," you praise him, stroking his hair away from his face as he makes a soft sobbing sound, "that's it— just like that. Good boy, good job, baby. Fuck it all into me, I want it all.”

"Ngh-- fuck, thank you, angel. Thank you, thank-- ha-- you."

You smile and kiss him through the aftershocks. He kisses you back sweetly, letting out soft little sounds in protest of the overstimulation as you milk him dry.

“I love— ngh— love y-you,” he mutters, still so incredibly sensitive from his orgasm.

“I love you too, Master Geto,” you answer with a sly smile.

Your relationship is more special than anyone else's, because you're the only one he falls apart for, the only one whose praise matters.

taglist: @septembersummer | @lilithlunas | @violetsaffron5 | @blackdxggr

[teddy-bear-scribbles]

Obey Me Datables Breakfast HCs

Lucifer-

•He's canonically not a morning person, so he wouldn't have much energy

•He'd make coffee how you like it though

•if you don't drink coffee probably pour some juice for you

•He would be very appreciative if you made him breakfast in bed instead

Mammon-

•He normally doesn't cook breakfast for people, beyond when it's his chore, but for you he'd make an exception!

•He wants to make you a classic breakfast in bed, bacon and eggs

•Got a bedside table so you can eat in bed

•The bacon is a bit salty and extra crunchy, and the egg isn't the best

•He gives you a glass of milk and tells you it's because humans need the stuff in it for their bones to grow

•you're unsure whether or not to tell him human's bones stop growing after a certain age, which you're likely past

Levi-

•He does have some cooking expertise, he wouldn't make it often

•when he does though, it'd probably be something like an omelette with a picture drawn in ketchup on it

•he wouldn't bring it to you in bed but he'd still surprise you with it

•in contrast to what you think, he'd probably draw something more suited to your taste as opposed to something ruri chan themed or anything based on one of his interests

•especially if your interests are nerdy like anime

Satan-

•Makes a slightly more complicated breakfast for you like eggs benedict

•Also brings it to you in bed

•If you're willing he'd probably feed it to you

Asmodeus-

•Despite what you might think he'd put a lot of effort into learning to cook breakfast for you

•He'd make something like a sweet crepe

•He'd spend hours trying to make it perfect and aesthetic for you

•Offers a variety of fruit for you to put on it at your own discretion

•Also a healthy smoothie, probably mainly strawberry

Beelzebub-

•He's not much of a cook, but he learned that humans sometimes make their partners breakfast in bed

•He didn't realize it typically meant cooking it yourself so he probably got akudonalds or something like that

•He thinks sharing food with you is romantic, it's his way of showing his trust and love for you

Belphie-

•Makes fried eggs and slightly burnt toast

•He would improve over time as he continues to do it

•Also gives it to you in bed, sits/lies next to you while you eat as you have casual conversation

Diavolo-

•I think he would be an absolute disaster in the kitchen

•It would be a wreck

•Barbatos does most of the cooking so he never really learned

•Its the thought that counts though, I suppose

•He probably got ambitious and tried to make waffles and french toast

•Barbatos is now teaching him to cook

Barbatos-

•This man is a master chef, it's canon, he could cook a 5 course meal for breakfast

•But realistically? No

•He would covertly learn your preferences and make breakfast suited just for your tastes and dietary needs

•If you have no drink preference, he'd make a different tea each time, so you can continually try new things

•He puts flowers in a vase as decoration

•He uses flower meanings when choosing which to use

•"Peonies represent good fortune, I hope this may inspire as much for you today."

Simeon-

•He'd make his signature pancakes, syrup and butter on the side if you'd like

•His voice is extra raspy in the morning

•also brings you your drink of choice

•If you have no preference, orange juice

Solomon-

•fucking RUN.

•C'mon be serious

•"Good morning MC, I made you breakfast in bed." From Solomon is the start of a horror movie

•I know some people say they'd try his cooking but it's literally canonically lethal and makes demons sick

•You are not built different

•Maybe just, make breakfast in bed for him, instead.

[leffee]

Do you have anymore Vinnie head cannons laying around?

Oh sweet sweet ask about Vinnie headcanon, how I missed thee! Of course I do, I always have. I will try to keep them new but like, I shared so manyI might not remember what I already said and what I didn't, so I guess those might be kinda obscure. Oh well.

he's much better with his hands than he is with his legs, just in general. I mean you saw him dancing, it's not going good, is it? But his hands, now they are quite good - he knows how to solve a rubik's cube, is pretty good at drawing and just manual things like origami or quilling. That also includes walking upside down

he has to show ID almost every time he wants to buy alcohol cause his shortness makes him look younger than he is xd. He's so used to it he has that thing ready even before they ask for it, but being used to it has not lessened his irritation with this cause they will tell him he looks like he's 15 and Vinnie will be just "I'm literally almost 10 years older than that but sure."

he speed-walks a lot of the time cause again, short, and since basically anyone is taller than he is, especially Sunil, when he walks with him Sunil naturally takes longer strides so Vinnie has to accelerate his speed to be at his side and so his normal walking speed changed to speed walking

buying gifts for him is really easy, whatever the occasion. Like, if you don't have any better ideas just buy him energy drinks and/or sweets. This isn't a "consolation gift" for him, he genuinely just likes them so much all 6 of his friends could bring those and he'd be the happiest person alive

he is not immune to being tempted by vending machines, whether with snacks or coffee. When he is close to one he really, really wants to buy something, I mean he's already close to it and he could use a little treat :3. He... wasted so much money on those stuff but he doesn't really want to stop cause holy crap snacc!

he pretty much never wins any board games. At first he was all chill about it cause whatever, but once it became a pattern he got secretely insecure about this cause how the hell does he lose every single time? Is he that stupid...? (He is, everyone else has much better strategies). He gets really mad afterwards in the "wanna destroy everything" style, but he tries not to show it because showing that he's insecure about anything is a big no-no.

the gloves he wears have a double purpose, sure, they're mostly there because he just thinks they're really cool, but at the same time they help slightly when he falls, specifically when he falls forward and reaches his hands in front of himself to soften the fall like ppl do. Of course he falls down a lot so that happens really often, and without those gloves he used to have such battered palms cause they would like rub against the rocks or pavement etc. So those gloves protect his hands a little bit too

out of all of them he's the first one to go pee in bushes if there's no toilet available/there's a long line to one/etc. He does prefer going to a normal toilet but like, if anything like that happens he's not holding it in damn it, he needs to pee and he's not waiting if he doesn't have to

he has different mugs for different drinks: one for coffee, one for tea (not that he drinks much of it but still), one for hot cocoa, one for water, one for juice, etc. He just can't stop himself from buying mugs when he sees a cool one so he ended up with so many mugs he might as well give each of them their specific purpose

he's really, really fond of all his friends' parents, especially Sunil's yes, but he likes all of them just for the fact that they're parents and they actually take care of their children and Vinnie just really craves parental affection and attention (tbh, I never really thought about what everyone whose parents weren't canonically shown (aside from Vinnie ofc) would be like so I don't really know if they would be good parents cause I just don't have thoughts about them but Vinnie just really likes them as long as they're decent at least

Aaand my 10 headcanons per post reached cause I think it's a pretty good number for it to be a lot to read but not too much

[chatsurie]

Children know

part two to Her little light

It was their last breakfast together.

Obviously not the last last, but the last during which he would still live at home.

It was a weird feeling. His room was jarringly empty and void of all the little knick knacks that had accumulated over time. The Ps4, Ran had gifted him on his birthday, was already over at his new flat that was just in walking distance to the Campus. The same was the case for the 65 inch TV Sanzu had given him on Christmas a few years back.

All of his books had also been neatly stacked into the new bookshelves in his new living room and office room.

He was a spoiled college student wasn't he? After all his father, one of the richest men in Tokyo was paying for everything and had wanted him to have only the best of the best.

The last few weeks his Dad and him had talked all about the program he had enrolled in, the parties he could go to, Dad had teased him about all the women he could finally bring over without his mothers disapproving glare, all the vacations he could take without having to fight with his mother over them.

And yet there was this weird gnawing feeling in his chest at the thought of leaving his mother behind in this loft.

If he thought about it rationally, his parents seemed made for each other. They were loving, his Dad brought gifts nearly every week, Mom never forgot an anniversary, He could remember maybe two times the two had fought with each other and that was at least 6 and 12 years ago respectively. He didn't know for sure what the fight had been about he only knew that that had been the summer he had finally been allowed to enrol into an exchange program at a boarding school in England, so he had always thought that that had probably been the fights topic and that his Dad had simply been able to sway her.

The idea of the exchange program had come from his Dad back when he was 7. It had been a teasing jab he had made during breakfast when the energy in the kitchen had felt just a bit too stifling for everything to be right. Thinking about it now, his mothers reaction at the joke, because that's what it must have been, had been a bit too frenzied, for Kiro to ever forget.

Even now he could see his mother stopping dead at the sink, turning around to his father white as a ghost. He could even remember that her eyes had seemed just a bit glassy. His father on the other hand had just laughed and ruffled his hair.

“He's much too young for that. Don't take everything I say at face value, dear.” He had simply said before proceeding to drink his coffee.

After that the energy around the table had completely lifted back into the normal mornings that Kiro was used to. Teasing and light hearted. His mother cracking a joke or two, sitting next to his father while massaging his hand.

Sometimes he wondered if he had made the stifling energy up, back when he was a kid to explain away his mothers reaction.

“I know Hajime teases you about all the parties you could go to, now that you've moved out, but I want you to do some real studying, okay!?”

His mothers voice brought Kiro back into the presence.

“I promise, Mom.” He told her with a grin that made his mother sigh.

He didn't think that she really wanted him to move out, but what Mother did.

“I'll be fine, I'll make you proud. Don't you worry.” He said while getting up and pulling her into a hug.

“Show your face around here from time to time, alright?” She mumbled into his chest, while pulling him all the closer. “Goodness. How have you grown so much. You know I would do anything for you, right? If you have any problems, you know you need only call. And your room will always be available for you. I won't change a thing in there.”

“Let the poor boy breathe, dear. Our Kiro is growing into a fine man. Moving out is simply another milestone.”

Yeah, Kiro decided. The queasy feeling in his chest didn't make sense. The way his mother seemed to tense up just the slightest bit, whenever his Dad was around just didn't make sense. There hadn't even been a time that Dad had raised his voice towards her. Much less struck her.

So why did it seem that his mother had this undying revulsion for the man he was allowed to call father after Koko had adopted him at six? As far as he could tell, Koko was the man that had stepped up. He had been the one to take them out of their screeching flat into this loft right in the heart of Tokyo. Koko had been the one who had made it possible for Kiro to attend all the best schools, wear the best clothes. Koko was the reason for his mother to be able to retire from her work and be a housewife.

Even when he was young and it had just been him and Mom he had always known that she hated her job. Even though she had hid it nearly perfectly, he had been able to pick up on the exhaustion. Mom always joked about how in tune with everyone's emotions he was. It was probably the reason he had decided on studying psychology. Because making sense of a person and helping them just came naturally.

Dad sometimes joked that he came after Mom in that regard. He had once told her that she had always dreamed of studying psychology but it simply hadn't been in the cards for her.

So it made even less sense, that he just couldn't understand his mothers feelings towards his father.

When he thought about Koko, he was probably what every father and husband wished to be and what every child and wife wanted to have.

He was attentive, devoted, he showered them both in gifts, he wasn't afraid to hug his son and show vulnerability when needed, he was also a strong rock, who always had a solution for the problems the family went through, he always spoke softly with his wife, always listening to her complaints and solving those that he could.

And yet, he had never seen his mother lean on him for more than she had to.

Yes. At first glance they seemed perfect for each other.

She was gentle with him, always seemed to lean into his embraces, greeted him with a kiss and dinner, when he came back from a hard day at work, surprised him with special evenings just for the two of them, heck after 13 years of marriage they simply seemed to have a stellar marriage.

They rarely even seemed to disagree on things and when they did, Mom and Dad would most often come to a compromise.

Although Kiro did think that his Dad got his way more often, but he had also always just equated that to his mothers love for her husband and her wish to see him happy.

Now, as he felt her slowly loosen her muscles underneath his embrace he couldn't shake the sinking feeling that he had been misconstrued horrifically. Because if there was one thing he had always felt rolling of his mother in waves, threatening to someday drown her, wasn't love.

It was pure unadulterated fear.

He could just never understand where it came from.

[c0rpseductor]

have to explode about this somewhere or i simply will not make it

i am so fucking mad at my mom. i realize in isolation everything happening recently is totally innocuous and normal, it's just like. in context that it hurts.

i hate that she's sick with Probably Covid and asking me for a bunch of extra favors. i had to wash her a cup for water because she didn't feel good the other day, yesterday i had to do her laundry, today i had to cook for her. if this were like, between anybody else it would be fine. it's just like. agh

i feel so angry that she wants me to take care of her and i've ALWAYS taken care of her and i always feel like she just does not give a fuck about my most basic needs beyond "well, lestat's not dead!". it makes me feel ungrateful because i know she does nice stuff for me sometimes too, it's just like, it hurts when i always hide when i'm upset and barely ask her for anything even when i'm in such bad physical pain that i can't function. like most of the time if i'm too unwell to make something to eat i just go without food. i don't like asking her for things and i always feel like there's a limit to how often i can ask for her help, and that i have to be careful to mostly be a kind of pleasant background decoration that never imposes on her.

i always had to be her mom, ever since i was a kid. even when i was little she wasn't consistent and would berate me or get angry with me for just, like, being a kid and wanting or needing stuff. meanwhile i've always been like her little stuffed animal to talk to when she's sad. she always acted like she loves me so much and we're so close but mostly like i'm a possession of hers. i just like. i dont know. im so hung up on when she was drinking and high on coke and she said to me like, "oh id much rather just have a roommates relationship with you instead of being like mother and son." explains much about like, my Entire fucking childhood!

and then she takes credit for how i've turned out as if she raised me, like, i feel like not only did i raise myself but i'm raising her half the time trying to explain basic things about emotional regulation and hereditary mental issues and shit, being the first person she comes to for everything, always having to calm her down or support her when she's venting when i KNOW i can't rely on her in the same way or tell her any of the really challenging issues i have, like just. it's not fair. it's so tiring. materially i am very grateful that she is willing to let me stay with her and that she understands i'm disabled and can't work right now and tries to still help me live a comfortable life (and, cynically, i feel that she's kind of okay with me being in this kind of bad position as long as i don't leave), i know i'm lucky to have food and shelter and things like that.

i just like. man i don't know. i feel like i've been holding this back for days because i just fucking feel like it's so unfair that whenever mom feels bad i'm Favors Boy and i can be expected to do anything for her that she wants, but when i feel bad it's like, locking myself in the bathroom trying to cry quietly enough that she won't notice to clean off blood after cutting, or holing up in my room with a migraine and having to drag myself out of bed to use my Very Little Energy to make myself coffee or get water and then not being able to eat because im too tired to make myself anything substantial and god forbid i ask her, and then after i have my bad episode she's like Hey so i know you have a bad leg and stairs make it worse but i dont like taking out the trash so can that still be your job. it's not like the front steps are even THAT bad it's just like, ok, im so glad you thought about my limp. of course she wouldnt though it's literally her fault my leg is so fucked up and when i went to the hospital for it way back when and it didn't turn out to be a broken bone she was all like haha i told you so! and then laughed at me when i tripped and fell on my crutches coming home. she just does not give a fuck. but ohhhh lestat would you mind feeding me like a baby bird.....your poor old mother is so sick and feeble.....

[slocumjoe]

could i get your take on what the companions (or just my favorite boy X6's) top 10 fave candies/foods would be in a modern AU?

anon you are in luck, because I am constantly thinking about the diets and eating habits of my blorbos

The numbered list isn't in any particular order, it's just so I don't have to manually count each point

so

What the companions would eat if not in a post apocalypse

Cait; Wouldn't have a taste for fancier cuisine. Eats more...hick-ish. I can say that because I was a hick with this kind of diet, growing up. Has a taste for filling, cheap, low-effort food...think lots of fast food, but "healthier" fast food. Like Chipotle, Panera, etc. Can cook, doesn't often, but will if she has a craving. Savory or tart tastes. She tends to eat lighter than you'd expect.

Blueberry brownie anything, favors dark chocolate in general

Submarine sandwiches, anything with pickles

Key lime pie

Salt and vinegar chips and thinks critics of such chips are cowards

Peach Redbull, any energy drinks though

Storebought hummus and Doritos, has been seen eating hummus with just a spoon though

Blueberry bread pudding. Simple to make, fun to eat, very comforting. Buys her bread already stale from a local bakery, has a guy to hook her up with the old shit

Seafood chowder

Sausages in any capacity. Jerky sticks, breakfast sausage, etc. Loves chorizo.

Honey buns from the gas station

Curie; Health nut, she eats like every influencer claims they eat like. Only, Curie actually eats like that. Lots of fresh foods and whole grains, little red meat. However, Curie makes a point to have foods that other health nuts would condemn, thinks its really important to not label any food as "bad." So, she balances between health nut and normal person. Her taste leans toward bright and/or sweet. Dislikes red meat.

Salmon breakfast wraps

Tropical fruit smoothies, eats so much pineapple

Iced tea, favors raspberry. Never seen without an iced tea of some kind

Halibut tacos, likes red cabbage and a fuck ton of lemon on it. Soft shells all the way

Bananas foster

Whipped brie dip, eats it with anything but loves it on apples, basically dessert

Lemon pepper grilled chicken and rice

So many salads, loves that you can just throw shit in a bowl and call it a recipe. Likes strawberries and almonds

Lemon poppyseed muffins

Shrimp and bitter melon stir fry

Danse; mixed bag. One on hand, small town diner tastes. Simple, cheap, good ol' American food. On the other, he's doomed to be a soldier in every universe he's in, so...maybe he picks up some tastes and dishes from places he's toured. Gets a weird pallate that shoots in all directions and makes you wonder what it's like in that thick skull. One day he's a good American boy with pancakes and steak, the next he's eating cake mix dry and drinking tahini from a flask.

Anything BBQ, but a pulled pork devotee

Hot coffee so heavily creamed and sugars it looks like milk. He likes the twix combo of chocolate, shortbread, and caramel flavors

Prepackaged baked goods a la Hostess, fucks up little Debbie oatmeal cookies

Apple and pecan pie

Menemen—Turkish dish, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, bell peppers, spices to taste, and (controversially) onions. Adds sausage and cheese, eats it with a fork or spoon (its meant to be eaten with bread)

Khachapuri—Georgian cheesy bread with egg. Eats with a knife and fork. (its meant to be eaten with the bread crust)

Smores pop tarts

Beef and potato stew

Rice bowl with fried egg and avocado, bonus points if it has bacon

Straight cookie dough/brownie/cake batter, usually when he's black out drunk and cannot shame himself out of eating raw egg products.

Deacon; Very childhood comfort food. Y'know, things you had as a kid, but probably grew out of a bit? Eats out of gas stations/takeout frequently. Very open flavor pallete, has tried everything he's had the chance to. Likes one-handed food, stuff you can have the other hand free for. Doesn’t really have a 'theme', has broad horizons for his diet. Likes lighter, mild flavors, though. He eats lightly and on the go a lot.

Hot/corn dogs, taste in hot dog toppings varies

Egg salad sandwiches

French fries and vanilla ice cream, classic combo

Mango sticky rice

Cornbread with any accompaniments. Likes honey or chili, thinks if you have a drink with cornbread, you ain't a real cornhead

Penne alla vodka

Cucumber salad. This could mean a salad with cucumbers, that trending Asian recipe where you cut the cumber so its springy, or eating a cucumber like a hotdog.

Fried mushrooms

Usually just drinks water but will have gator/powerade when he's working. Likes purple flavor

Captain crunch cereal, loves all cereal though. Prefers the kibble stuff to the berries. Starts philosophical debates about the morality of Trix commercials vs Lucky Charms commercials

Gage; His favorite foods reflect his upbringing. Coastal swamp cuisine, cheap and made in bulk. Take Danse's pallate and hyperlocalize it, and then lower the budget by a good amount. Things he grew up eating. Would gradually replace his favorites with pricier, 'less embarrassing' dishes, distances himself from his origins. However, takes care to not looked too loaded. Smokey and savory flavors are his thing, likes more spice than people expect.

Doberge cake, which is layered with pudding, often half-chocolate and half-lemon

Red beans and rice, with stewed pork if they could afford it

Blackened fish of any kind, liked it with cilantro-lime rice

Steak with potatoes and/or eggs

Chronic iced tea drinker like Curie, though he prefers the bitter kinds

Scallops

Brussels sprouts defender and will fight for their honor

Peaches

Was introduced to curry during a business meeting/outing. Could drink that shit from a glass, has it with potatoes and porkchops.

Lobster anything. This is one of those 'less embarresing' things, but he genuinely enjoys a good lobster roll. Even if he prefers a freshly-caught lobster bisque. Again, something he had growing up, something he pushes away.

Hancock; Similar to Deacon, but favors fatty, greasy food. No, it's not the drugs, that's just his metabolism. He's a skinny twink, always starving, can never put on weight. Eats as much as Danse, who is a big guy and needs more calories than most. He's really into street food and foreign dishes, won't eat at a restaurant if they speak fluent English or have good customer service. IYKYK. Very comfort food heavy, lots of "this would slap with Netflix at 2 am"

A classic oxtail, mac and cheese, and collard green take out combo

Any and all American-chinese take out, usually gets eggplant tofu with chow mein and cream cheese rangoons

"Walking tacos", those things where you open a small bag of chips and dump White People taco makings in. Probably just tips the whole thing into his mouth

Yakitori, Japanese chicken skewers, popular bar food

Bloody Mary cocktails

Pizza, will fight for the honor of pineapple. Would really be into how Brazil does pizza

Frozen yogurt and ice cream, piles with toppings

Breakfast sandwiches or wraps. Egg, meat, cheese, doesn't matter the time nor specifics.

Jam donuts, loves cherry fillings

Puppy chow/muddy buddies, chex cereal covered in chocolate and powdered sugar. Eats his weight in them if not careful

MacCready; forces himself to learn how to cook for Duncan's sake, but for himself...good God. It's horrible. Eats like garbage. Would never drink water if not to set an example. Take out, frozen food, so much candy and soda. After Duncan, broadens his horizons. Finds he really likes soups. Just throw shit in a pot and it works. Eats on a budget, so that's a life-saver. Doesn't have a preferred flavor pallete, aside from his love of candy.

Meat lover's pizza. Thinks pineapple has no place on pizza

Used to drink Mountain Dew and diet coke, replaced it with iced teas and more organic fruit juices for the sake of his teeth

Chicken soup, either from a can, or homemade. Either way, slaps. If homemade, blends veggies for a hidden veggie stock. For him, Duncan is a lot better at eating veggies, MacCready needs to trick himself.

Sour rainbow ropes

Cookie crisp cereal, thinks whoever came up with it deserved the sloppiest head. Incredible design, no notes

Cheese and sour cream chips

Famous Amos cookies

Eggo waffles

Gnocchi is God to him. Its superior to all noodles and makes your Shit In The Fridge soup 1000 times better.

Rice pudding is cheap, easy, and a surprisingly efficient sweet-tooth satisfier. Makes it with pumpkin spice mix or chocolate.

Nick; Home-cooked meals all the way. Could kill himself with cheese and die happy. Lots of easy meals and snacking so he can keep working, but will treat himself to a nice, hard-earned dinner when he has the time and energy. Likes himself the smokey, the fresh, or the sour. Probably knows all the best sub shops in the city, probably in a turf war with regulars of rival shops. Jewish delicatessens are like church to him.

Lasanga. Most of his freezer space is lasagna. Eats so much of it. He's lactose intolerant. It hurts but it hurts so good

Latkes. Fried potato things, kind of like hashbrowns, except the potato is mashed/ground instead of grated. And yes. Also pastrami. But those little potato bitches...mmmph.

Red velvet muffins with cream cheese frosting.

Fried cheese in any capacity

A prosciutto, arugula, brie, and fig sandwich

Pickled pearl onions

Cobb salad

Black coffee. Temp doesn't matter, because he's going to forget it until its room temp.

Has been known to enter fugue states and consume an absurd amount of Chicago style hot dogs

Scones or just plain bread with butter and jams

Piper; Broke college student trying to make it as a reporter. Her tastebuds are fucked, they salivate not for flavor, or texture, but for those good, good low prices. Piper's diet is almost entirely snackfood or takeout. If she ever cooks, it's for Nat. But when taking care of just herself, Piper eats from a box or bag. When she does cook, it's very simple meals. Loves her carbs and her fruit flavors

Chicken Ramen with canned chicken and frozen broccoli chucked in. Also makes this for Nat

Hot cheetos, eats with chopsticks

Spaghetti and meatballs

Fruit smoothies/smoothie bowls, blends in veggies as well for the nutrition

Coka cola and anything from Fanta, loves fruit sodas

Anything carbs and I mean that. Eats a lot of bread, pasta, cakes, potatoes...they're the sweetheart of anyone on a budget.

Buffalo cauliflower, likes it more than Buffalo chicken

Chewing gum. Fruit flavors only, hates mint gum. Likes mint elsewhere, just not in gum.

Nickle-nips and other "jelly/juice in a wax package" candies. Likes the charm of it, also, free chewing wax

Suckers/lollipops, big on hard candy in general but the stick satisfies her smoking habit.

Preston; A mix of easy depression/bulk meals and dishes from his childhood. Lots of spices, cooks with a lot of straight peppers. Tends to eat his food 'raw', not made into a dish. Again, easy and quick to eat. Also tends to buy pre-prepared stuff for the same reason, buys more fruits and veggies and just eats them straight. Doesn't care about eating healthy, he just lacks energy to cook most days.

I have no choice to explain this as it has no name. Casserole dish, layer of mashed potatoes, layer of shredded or chunked chicken, layer of white breakfast gravy or brown poultry gravy, top with drop biscuits. It's buttery, its savory, it is white as snow. Easy, cheap, one ladlefull is dinner. You'll get a few meals out of it, and it's so filling you have like, five minutes before you're stuffed. I call it gut-glue.

Dirty rice

Eggs scrambled with spinach

Jollof/jambalaya

Veggies and hummus or ranch

Various fruits and berries such as grapes, cherries, blackberries, and oranges

Shakshouka, eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce and eaten with bread

Chicken biscuits, crackers dusted with, like, chicken bouillon? They taste like a chicken Ramen packet sneezed on a ritz

Slurpees/Icees/those syruped gas station ice drinks

Straight peppers, eats bell peppers like apples. Eats pickled jalapeños and scotch bonnets to feel something. Drinks the liquid in pickle jars instead of alcohol, or mixes it with gelatin and makes pickle jello.

X6-88; Pretensious rich asshole who eats like it. He rarely cooks for himself, probably has a personal chef or something. Maybe his work has their own restaurants, like Google. Eats mostly vegetables, but his favorite foods skew from "Dubai Influencer" to "12 year old who earned too much lawn mowing money and was let loose in a convenience store." So much sugar. Willy Wonka's factory is his idea of heaven and until it exists, he's an atheist.

Raw meats. Steak and tuna tartar, sashimi, and sushi

Braised duck with cherries

Nduja, a spicy pork sausage spread, has it with flatbreads

Oysters. Eats them all fancy in public, eats them from a tin with doritos at home

Anything from Hostess, Little Debbie, those brands. Fucking anything. However, would kill a man for any kind of Swiss roll

Chocolate milk

Gummies, very picky with brands, hates the harder kinds like Haribo. Wants his gummies soft as a marshmellow

Cadbury eggs

Milano dark chocolate cookies

Gushers

[forgetfulminks]

Oral Health

Keeping your teeth healthy is one of the most important things you can do for your overall health! If there is an infection or anything like that present in your mouth, it can carry the bacteria to the rest of your body. Also, keeping your teeth and gums healthy is an important part of long-lasting overall health. So, how do we keep our teeth and mouth healthy?

Your daily oral health routine should look like this:

Brush your teeth twice a day with toothpaste that contains fluoride.

Use a toothbrush that is suitable for your needs. If you have sensitive teeth, you should use a soft or extra soft toothbrush. If you can, an electric toothbrush is always recommended by dentists, as it can brush your teeth very efficiently without you needing to move it too much (you just kind of glide it over your teeth and let it do the brushing motion for you). But, a normal toothbrush is also fine, as long as you brush correctly.

Brushing correctly means using small circles around your teeth, making sure to brush the front and back (and don't forget your back teeth). Also, try to angle your brush towards your gums when you're brushing so they can get clean too.

Make sure to brush your tongue as well. Your tongue holds a lot of bacteria, so it's good to brush it at least once a day. Make sure you don't over brush it though, as it can break the skin and cut your tongue.

After brushing, make sure to floss once a day. It's better to floss twice a day after brushing, but once a day is the minimum for healthy teeth.

If you can, you should be getting your teeth checked by a dentist every six months, as they can advise you on what you should and shouldn't be doing. They also clean your teeth very thoroughly, so it's a good thing to do for your oral health. But, I understand that those appointments are expensive, especially if you are not covered by health insurance. So, once you have some money saved, it's a good idea to go get them checked when you can.

Now that you've got your routine, here's some tips to keep your teeth healthy throughout the day:

Drink a lot of water throughout the day

Avoid sugary drinks, energy drinks, and fruit juice (or any drink with a lot of fruit in it).

Limit your sugar intake overall and try to eat a balanced diet.

Never use your teeth as tools to open packets or anything like that. This can cause your teeth to chip or crack.

Limit your coffee and/or tea intake and make sure to drink some water afterwards to avoid staining your teeth.

Make sure to replace your toothbrush at least every 3 months.

Note: some people like to use mouthwash, but it should be noted that people who have healthy teeth and gums do not need it. There are also risks in using mouthwash to mask bad breath, as bad breath can be an early sign of gum disease or some other serious oral health issues. If you are concerned about your bad breath, then it's better to go see a dentist about it. They can prescribe you a specific mouthwash that targets gum disease or, if everything is actually ok, they can give you some tips to fix the smell.

HealthDirect (Australian government health info site) - Dental care and teeth cleaning

Post inspired by elonomhblog

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing WIth Demons Cghapter 13: He Knows How to Hurt Us Part 1: Riley

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump @d-cs

Riley waited at the cafe alone while Mike and Sil prepared for the mission. One of the teams that got sent out to a location associated with Mason had never returned, and their team was being sent out along with two other teams to do reconnaissance and hopefully find and bring back the missing agents. It wasn't the kind of mission Riley would normally be going on, but they were so entrenched in this case now that Coleman didn't want them to stay behind. They'd just have to trust in Mike and Sil and the other agents to protect them. Besides, If Mason was actually there then the other team would have been able to tell before going in. Right? Unless Mason was powerful enough to completely mask his presence.

This train of thought wasn't useful, Riley doubled down on trusting the others and dropped it.

Riley didn't think Avi was going to show up, it wasn't like them to be late. Of course not, they could freaking teleport. But Riley had been doubting everything they thought they knew about Avi. None of their human mannerisms were for show or even at all intentional, the demon wasn't trying to look and act human, it was all just a natural consequence of having a human body.

Riley decided to approach Avi as if they were meeting for the first time, a blank slate. Well, not completely blank. The one thing they knew for sure was that Avi was evil.

But it didn't look like Riley was going to get to implement their cold detached attitude towards Avi today. They sighed, as much as they weren't looking forward to seeing Avi again it would have been nice to have a powerful demon with them on this mission. It occurred to Riley now that they didn't know how powerful Avi was compared to other demons, but that hardly mattered. All demons were stronger than all but the most powerful of humans who could use the energy of their soul extremely efficiently. It was like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun. Although, they were starting to suspect that Cliff Mason was a grenade launcher.

A car pulled up in front of the cafe and emitted two short honks. They took one last drink of their coffee and left.

"No Avi?" Sil asked as they got into the car.

"No. But we don't need them, let's go."

"I don't get it," Mike said as he started driving.

"What?" Riley asked.

"Avi's gotta help with the case, it's part of the deal. So they should have shown up no matter if they were still pissed or not."

"Maybe they were lying about having to do their best to honor deals."

"But you said they can't break their promises, and isn't that what a deal is, a promise?" Mike continued.

"Maybe it doesn't count if they don't intend to collect on their end of the deal?"

"What if something happened to them?"

"Why do you care?" Riley was starting to get annoyed.

"Because if something happened to them that means something happened to the woman they're possessing."

Riley hadn't considered that. Still, they pushed any blossoming worry out of their mind.

"She's already sold her body and soul to a demon, I doubt anything Cliff's doing will make things any worse for her."

"Well," Sil chimed in. "If this place turns out to be Cliff's current lair then I guess we'll find out."

Riley absentmindedly grabbed their amulet, Mike stopped talking.

This was going to get dangerous.

[bunny-j3st3r]

Wanted to write some Haycinth headcanons because he's been evolving lately.

Haycinth uses He/Him or They/them but mostly answers to He/him

He's a BIG dude, he stands at about 6"4 and is fat, built like a bodybuilder.

He learned to cook his own food being a big guy he needs to eat certain kinds of food and a lot to keep his bulk. He never really knew how to cook before meeting Rose but learned over time.

He was found by Rose in an underground fighting arena where he had been muzzled and made to fight, when not fighting he was locked in a cage practically and fed basic meals.

He's taken a lot of beatings over the years so does not remember much of his past, he isn't sure he even has a family.

He has a thing for sheep folk but thinks its just a hunger thing not realizing he literally just has a weird fetish.

He neither hates nor likes Rose but is loyal to her

He likes Daisy and the two have something going on but dosn't talk about it, it's nothing romantic but he does like her attention and seems to get in a good mood when she's mentioned.

He normally gets a few days off per month and likes visiting street food markets and trying different foods that he never really got to taste when locked up, he's also hoping the smells or tastes will trigger something in his memory.

He comes off as a scary big dude but he has a weakness for small baby animals, he will never tell ANYONE in the gang about it though because he'd never live it down.

He dislikes the idea of killing, he isn't sure why considering he's practically a cannibal and if given the chance will eat someone without hesitation.

He has said if he were ever to kill his first kill is going to be Rose, Rose is very much aware of this but is also aware he NEEDS her because he's just lost without her.

He often vaugely teases the other gang members by threatning to eat or maim them, the only ones that seem unaffected by these are Daisy, Rose, Zinnia and Gladiolus.

He's technically 'banned' from the bar because he dislikes to drink but was caught mixing coffee with energy drink after not sleeping for three days as well as stealing coffee that wasn't his.

He still goes to the bar though because he knows Zinnia won't touch him when he's 'working' and just like :) at them the entire time, smug ass.

His relationship with Gladiolus is odd at best, he dosn't consider him a friend but likes annoying him, plus with him being a Ram he keeps finding himself drawn to him.

He wears a shock collar for the safety of himself and others around him, it can only be removed by Rose and the only time it's ever removed is if Rose wants him to do a job.

The voltage in the collar isn't a small shock either, it's been messed around with by Crocus who basically made it into a weapon specfically aginst Haycinth, it's enough of a voltage shock to knock out a Rhino.

Haycinth is just an alt version of my own sona so has kept some of my sonas traits which includes immortality and shape shifting, he rarely uses the shifting form though because he thought he could at first to get the collar off but it seems to just fit around whatever size he goes.

He can't shift into anything smaller than a rat, anything smaller could do damage to his body.

He says he's Aroace but it's mostly to stop people asking about his private life, he's to dedicated to Rose to really pay much attention to having relationships.

He does get blood lust though, when his adrenline is heightened and he smells blood he's like a shark in water and will rip and tear at the source until he tastes it in his mouth.

Haycinth is used for myself to explore darker topics I don't really do often with my own sona.

[iloveyanderes]

Made off of a daydream I had a couple days ago, pls don't get offended or anything I've only watched five episodes of bungou stray dogs so I don't know much:

Begrudgingly you find yourself in the armed detective agency, witnessing a murder was definitely traumatizing and constantly having to talk to detectives was not helping.

Luckily there was only one detective in the entire place, meaning you'd only have to talk to one detective.

This is the last place you have to get interrogated at so once this is done you'll be free.

The detective greets you at the door, his white hair and purple-yellow orange initially shocking you.

He immediately greats you.

"hi! You must be rosie? It's super nice to meet you, I'm Atsushi" he says to you.

"yes I am, nice to meet you too" he reaches his hand out to shake your hand but you quickly pull back, giving an awkward smile when his face turns confused.

"sorry, but I don't touch people"

"oh that's okay, why don't you take a seat and then we can start" nodding you go to the seat he had pointed out.

"do you want any drinks? Tea? Coffee?" Atsushi asked you, "oh I'd love some tea please" you responded.

He quickly heated some up and brought it to you, then you make your way to your seat.

It was comfortable but not too comfortable, Atsushi sat down on the chair opposite of you.

Grabbing a notepad your meeting is ready to start.

"your name is rosie Sam right?"

"yes"

"would you say the death was a murder or an accident?"

"accident"

"How would you say she died?"

"being slammed by a car"

"what time?"

"I'd say around 10:45"

"where were you"

"almost the other side of the crossroad"

"can you put this all together into one big sentence"

"she was run over by a car when crossing the road, it happened at 10:45 p.m. I was among the people crossing the road, though I was way closer to the end of the crosswalk, I don't remember how the car got at her but my best guess was the cars breaks shut down" looking at Atsushi you ask him a question.

"did you know the victim?" You asked, Atsushi looked up at you before looking down again.

"I did, she was a really great friend of mine, it just hurts me so much to see her die, she was so just precious to me" Atsushi was almost on the verge of tears, normally people would be sympathetic but the only emotion you feel is disgust, how dare he.

"I'm sorry" you say, pretending to be sad.

"don't worry it's not your fault, I do believe you when you say it's a accident but if I ever find out it was something else, like a murder I will do everything in my power to bring the killer to justice" hm, just like him immediately assuming people hurt other people.

"are there anymore questions?" You ask him.

"are they're any details that you think you might of missed?"

Thinking for a moment you talk more.

"it's such a tragedy someone so young had to die, I even heard the body disappeared five hours after the fact" I look at Atsushi expecting to see more of his sad face only to see that his face was shocked.

"you- that- that information wasn't given to the public? How do you know that!?"

The shock that hit you was so powerful that you accidentally dropped your disguise, he looked at you in disbelief and relief.

"yn!?" Immediately you bolt for the door making it three steps before your tackled to the ground by Atsushi.

"get off you bastard!!!" You tell as your hands are pinned behind your back.

"wait, yn sweetie, shhh shhcalm down it's okay" he attempts to comfort you.

"let me go!"

"shhhhh, shhhh relax, you can't go the outside world, it's too dangerous"

"I don't care!!" With every energy you have you attempt to get him off of you but it's no luck with his powerful tiger hands.

"baby, why'd you go, it's too much for you, why can't you just stay here with me and the others"

"why the hell would I stay with you Infantilizing bastards!!!" the memories of all the time they never let you out of the agency, the times they babied you, and most importantly all the times they humiliated you. Those time where horrifying and you never want to go back to them, but alas it was too late you were caught by the tiger.

"see your over reacting, I'm gonna have to sedate you now" he reaches for his belt and uses it to tie your hands, as he walks to go grab something you try to crawl away only to yet again get stopped by him.

He moves your neck to the left and injects something into it, almost instantly you feel the drowsy effects you've felt so many times.

As you falling into the black Atsushi bridle carries you.

"there there sweetie, just fall asleep I'll take good care of you" his words where so humiliating he didn't treat you like an adult he treated you like a baby.

The last thing you remember think was that you should have taken dazais invitation of commiting double suicide a long time ago.

The end.