#but I do speak to bad parents all the time
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Is it casual now?
Content : angst, a bit similar to the scene where Sofia overheard Rafe saying she’s not his girlfriend, inspired by the song Casual by Chappell Roan (may or may not be accurate)
a/n : sorry in advanced i know Chappell is for the girlies also idk if im proud of this but your likes and reblogs will always be appreciated🤍
── ⋆⋅˚ʚ♡ɞ˚⋅⋆ ──
It has been exactly 4 months since you met Rafe Cameron, the kook king you never knew you would fall so deeply for. The first time you met him, you were nothing but a blur in his world. A passing figure and a random pogue that was at his party. But Rafe, you saw something in him the moment you met his sparkling blue eyes. You couldn’t exactly tell what it was. Maybe it’s the fact that he looks so handsome even under bad lights, or the way you could listen to him forever every time he speaks. At that moment, you were ready to risk it all.
You made your move that night. The way you charmed him may have made him realize you both were something more than strangers passing through each other’s lives and ever since then, you were both inseparable. Although he said “No attachment,” the first time you both hooked up, you still went along with it, hoping it could be real one day.
Sometimes when you’re hanging out with your friends outside, you would hear some rumors saying you’re just a girl that Rafe bangs on his couch. The pogues call you a loser for still hanging around him but you ignore them and the rumors because most of the time he treats you as if you were someone he couldn’t lose. Just two weeks after knowing each other, he invites you to dinner with his whole family. The way he fucks you in the bathroom while his parents are still at the table, the way he brings you to the country club and shows you off, the way he’s eating you out in the passenger seat, and mostly the way he talks to you, so gently and sweet that got you thinking maybe this isn’t just some dumb love.
You’re at the pub where you agreed to meet Rafe. The sky on the way there was already turning a heavy blue slate, signaling that rain was on the way. You enter the pub and recognize Rafe’s back immediately standing on the other end accompanied by Topper and his foul girlfriend Ruthie. As you are about to approach them, you hear his voice, “She’s not my girlfriend okay, it’s just…casual. No strings attached.”
You freeze. The words land like ice in your chest, sharp and cold. If that isn’t enough you then hear Ruthie say, “You sure about that Rafe? How do your parents feel that you’re living with a pogue,” she smirks, her eyes gleaming with sarcasm.
“I’m not fucking living with a pogue okay,” he says annoyingly.
You have to steady yourself. You could feel your stomach churn as you’re processing what you’re hearing. You can’t believe it. You both never had a “talk” about being exclusive, but you thought you were starting to matter to him and close to making it official.
You hide behind a column in the middle of the pub, trying to decide what to do. Part of you wants to walk away, leave without saying a word, and let him figure out what he’d lost. But you couldn’t just let it go. So you make your way to the table, keeping a neutral face, and try to hold back your tears.
“Hey, there you are,” Rafe smiles, as you approach him.
“Hey,” you say, your voice steady, though it takes everything you have to keep it from shaking. “We need to talk.” Before he could say anything, you grab his hand taking him outside the pub. As you stand outside, it’s already drizzling.
“Whoa, what’s wrong? Can't we talk inside? It’s raining,” he asks, his voice full of confusion.
You let go of his hand and go silent for a moment. He looks at your face that is now about to cry, “Baby what’s wrong?” he says.
“Don’t call me that if you don’t mean it Rafe,” you mutter.
He blinks. “What are you talking about?”
“I heard you,” your voice loud now. “Telling them we’re not dating? No strings attached? Seriously Rafe? After these past few months? Is it casual now?”
Rafe’s face shifts, the unease creeping into his features. He clears his throat, trying to smooth over the tension. “Look, I thought we’re on the same page here-“
“Same page? What same page are we talking about?” You cut him off. “I thought you were starting to look at me differently now Rafe.” You fluster. “Oh and not to mention calling me a pogue? I thought we’re WAY past that..”
He sighs, scratching the back of his head. “Ok about that I'm sorry kay’. I didn’t mean to call you a pogue just, you know…Topper and Ruthie, they caught me off guard. And you never really talked about anything more serious, so I figured we’re just not together.”
You could feel the heat rising in your chest. “I never talked about it? Oh so now I’m the one to blame? Are you serious?” Your eyes narrow.
He pauses, trying to find the right thing to say. “I just…I’m happy with the way we are right now. I’m not-“
“Not what? Not ready to be in a relationship? That’s bullshit.” You cut him off again, not wanting to hear any excuses. “How can you stand there and say you’re okay with this? After all the plans we made, the endless nights we spent?” you continue, meeting his gaze that looks unbothered. “You know what…I can’t…yes, I tried to be the chill girl who holds her tongue and gives you space but not anymore. No, I’m done,” you say, trying to walk away.
The rain is getting heavier now, and both of you are soaking wet. “Wait,” he calls out your name. “Just wait okay…I’m sorry I hurt you, yes I would be lying if I said this doesn’t mean something but just give me time okay, I just…I can't do relationships right now,” he says, grabbing your wrist trying to stop you.
“No Rafe,” you shake your head, a tear runs down to your cheek. “I’m done waiting. It’s hard Rafe…It’s hard being casual when my favourite bra lives in your dresser and it’s definitely not casual when I’m always on the phone talking to Wheezie like I’m her sister,” you swallow, biting your inner cheek trying to keep your emotion in check.
He gives a small dismissive wave, like I’m overthinking things. “Well I did warn you no attachment, y/n,” he says, with such cold detachment, as if his words are nothing more than a simple fact, devoid of any emotion.
You look at him with disappointment crawling up to your throat. He isn’t even trying to make it work, not even pretending to care about how you feel. You hate the fact what he said is true, he did warn you not to get attached and you hate yourself even more for dragging this on for so long. You stare at him for a moment longer, “Fuck you, Rafe,” then you turn and walk away to your car. There is no use in arguing with someone who has no intention of changing their mind. If this is how Rafe sees you, then he is not the guy you think he is.
Maybe he is okay with keeping things casual but you deserve more than that. Rafe Cameron can go to hell.
#drew starkey#obx#rafe cameron#outer banks#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron x reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#angst#sadgirl#rafe x reader#rafe angst#rafe x you#Spotify
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had a lil thought about corrupting innocent step sis kazuha 🙂↕️ first with little kisses and then getting braver, hands roaming all over her, grabbing her ass, rubbing her through her sweats. gets so needy and whiney. her face beet red when you push her against the wall and make her nervous, boxing her in and playing with her.
she would definitely get desperate for you, humping your leg needing to cum, calling her your good pup and she moans into your ear. ehehehe
-🐶
STEPCEST, brief SOMNO
this got me thinking how stepsis!zuha would differ from stepsis!chaery because they’re quite similar to me and i think the major difference would be that, while the whole stepsis!chaery lore includes noncon, dubcon, toxicity, you made her like the thing, with zuha this would never happen because stepsis!zuha wants you, she feels like a pervert admitting it but she thinks about you all the time!! but like you said, to you she’s an innocent angel, her perversion doesn’t come even close to yours— she thinks of kisses and maybe some risky touching, you think of fucking her by the front door after she comes home from her ballet practices.
she thought you’re joking the first time, looking at her and asking if she wasn’t going to thank you for letting her borrow whatever thing it was that she needed from you, her little frown, muttering “…i already did?” and your smirk, stupidly pointing at your cheek saying you wanted a kiss. she really, really thought you were messing with her, you used to be kinda mean when you first met, but still tip toes to you, quietly, and leans to kiss your your cheek, mind failing when you turn your head and she hits your lips instead, stepping back seconds too late, staring at you in utter confusion not knowing to say something or not, expecting you would say something about it but you just go “you’re welcome” and tells her to go do her thing or else she will be late to meet her friends and she’s surprised with herself because she goes ?? her mind totally short circuited.
thinks about it for days, keeps on running the tip of her tongue over her lips as if she could taste you there, lays in bed at night tracing them. looks at you expectantly every day and dinner time being so weird because she pays more attention to you than any other thing which often causes your parents to ask if she’s alright because she seems so distracted and she blushes so hard when she sees a knowing smirk on your face. she would panic the night you decide to speak for her, getting up and telling your parents to not worry because you and her would clean things up. poor baby on the sink doing the dishes and almost breaking a glass feeling you wrap your arms around her and say how she is not as subtle as she thinks she is, how you bet you know what goes inside her little mind; is she thinking about that day? is she thinking about you? and she so would beg you quietly to stop it, she doesn’t want to talk about it, she would never deny thinking about you, she would be lying, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t get to be upset at you for toying with her.
but when you turn her around and get at proper look at her face and see her pouting?? what are you supposed to do, not kiss it away??? you can’t hold yourself back, lips on hers and pulling her so close you probably hurt her a little but the important thing is that she kisses you back, eagerly, without question, she needed it to happen again so bad, it’s pathetic, not knowing where to put her hands, whimpering on your mouth. totally does not forget about the dishes and has to have you promising to go to her room later for more to finally let go of you…
for some reason the poor thing thinks you would stop at kisses so the first time your hands get on her, grabbing her ass for no reason other than it looked cute in jeans one day she jumped, only to down on her then that it wasn’t so bad, growing to anticipate it. same for touching, touching her, but does nothing but break the kiss and bite her lip, closing her eyes, feeling the way your hand slides inside her pants the first time, carefully testing the waters by rubbing her over her underwear but she’s quite new to everything, a few moments and both of you feel herself getting so messy down there, your fingers slippery, hard to keep in one place.
even so, she still a bit confused by the thing you got going on, at least until you start seeking her more and more often, stealing kisses in risky situations, touching her in risky situations, your hand between her legs while you’re in the living room watching a tv show, speeding your movements as your mom or dad enters to ask you something and she has fries her brain focusing on not being suspicious with her little clit under constant assault under the blanket badly thrown over your laps. seeing an opportunity of full filing the fantasy of fucking her right after she arrives from her ballet practice and obviously not wasting, it’s rare for you to be home at the time and to be alone. angel girl with her cheek against the wall and you behind her not bothering to even take a piece of her clothes off and fingers making so much pressure down there, moans and whimpers and also “stop, you are being gross, i’m sweaty!!” only to shut up because you promise if she stops bitching you will maybe fuck her properly.
and you’re so right, she would hump your leg if too desperate but better if it’s one night you’re sleeping together— because there’s nothing wrong with that, you’re two girls, you’re sisters, your parents don’t see anything else— and you wake up because there’s something moving, moving on top you, warm slick cunt on your thigh, moaning muffled by her hand and she doesn’t realize you’re awake because her eyes are closed and almost falling off the bed when you grab her waist, “go on, pup, keep going”.
i love her so much :(
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Fluffvember Prompt 22 - Plushie
Abel wasn’t entirely sure what he would be walking into after another day of guard duty, but he didn’t particularly care, either.
This assignment was wearing him down.
He did his duty, always. But prior to this his duty had included traveling, fighting monsters, all kinds of activities. When the mission was so variable, it made it far more bearable.
But this? To stand guard and wait in anticipation of an attack from people who stood directly across the table, while listening to barbs and pleasantries be exchanged in equal measure between diplomats?
It felt nearly soul crushing at this point. After four months of the monotony, on top of updates from his in-laws on his wife’s poor health, Abel was reaching a point he wasn’t entirely sure he’d felt before, but he knew it wasn’t a good one.
The only blessing in this was that Link was with him.
And speaking of which, when he entered the Hylian quarters, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sudden amount of Zora children in the area.
He glanced at Min, who was smiling and watching the kids. “What’s going on here? Why are you allowing all these children to come here? This is a restricted area for the Hylian delegation!”
“Oh, relax,” Min huffed nonchalantly. “They’re just kids. I’ve never heard of Zora training their offspring to fight, and it’s not like we have anything to hide.”
Don’t have anything to—? They could talk to their parents about the Hylians’ weapon arsenal, about plans they heard the diplomats discussing, an entire slew of problems! Abel was fuming now - Min was the slackest of the group, and it was entirely due to a lack of military upbringing. The man had been a sell sword prior to enlisting, and his lack of discipline and careless ideals were showing.
“My son lives here,” Abel growled. “I will not have you compromising his safety, or the mission.”
“Well, good luck convincing the evil Zora guppies to leave,” Min replied, rolling his eyes. “I figured your kid would want to have friends so I wasn’t going to argue the point. You go be the bad guy.”
Frowning, Abel moved beyond the knight and saw the gaggle of children huddled near an entrance to a balcony. Link and one of the Zora—Bazz, if Abel recalled correctly—were both flushed with cheer, Link holding Mrs. Moo in the air while Bazz had some sort of other plush toy, its shape looking like an octorok.
“And then, Mrs. Moo jumps up and SHOOM she shoots fire out of her nose!!” Link declared, waving his plush with a serious expression.
“Mr. Floaty hides in the water to stop the fire!” Bazz countered, throwing himself and his plushie onto the ground.
“Wait, can cows blow fire out of their noses??” A little girl asked, jaw dropping.
“Mrs. Moo can,” Link answered sagely.
“Whoa.” The group awed in amazement.
Bazz sat up a little, pouting. “Mr. Floaty can do cool stuff too! He gets up out of the water and spits out a magic ball that shocks Mrs. Moo! FOOOOM!!”
And with that, Bazz shook his plushie violently in front of Link, who gasped and had Mrs. Moo descend from her perch in the heavens and twitch in his erratic hold before he plopped on the ground.
“Oh no, Mrs. Moo!”
The young knight watched as the spectacle continued, completely clueless to the plot (assuming there even was one), and sighed.
…He couldn’t kick them out. At least not yet. Dinner would be his excuse, when the time came.
Abel took a step back, giving his son time to play with his friends, heart warming a little, frustration easing. He pointedly ignored Min’s smirk.
Perhaps… for Link’s fifth birthday he’d let the children come play with the boy. He’d already requested to guard the barracks and quarters that day so he could be with his boy, but… a surprise from this group might be nice too.
He’d consider it. He’s consider bending the rules, just once.
For his little boy, Abel would do just about anything.
#For some reason I was convinced it was the 22nd today#And then I realized it was FAR later#But oh well I liked this prompt anyway#writing#chronicles of the domain#Breath of the wild#breath of the wild link#abel#botw link#legend of zelda#fluffvember#fluffvember 2024#Mrs moo
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Nicky finds the tunnels under the school but things turn a twist while his there, Sorry if there is bad gramer. (Part 2)
Nicky wakes up weak and tired "God What did those beak freaks do to me" he said in a pale voice he could barely speak. After a moment of ajusting himself he relized he was tied up, now he really starts to freak out.
"Help...anyone...am...s..stuck"
He says with a chocked up voice. After a moment of silence he see's a group, the same goup of people that kidnaped him in the school!
"Well well" one says as he comes out the shadow "how did you sleep..did you dream of sunshines and rainbows?"
Nicky could hear one of the other group members chuckle, "No ..." Nicky said in a whsiper voice but then Nicky start to realize something.....The other crow freaks were'nt like the one talking to him. The others were dusty and had diffrent color beak, while this one was more taller and cleaner and his beak stood out that the rest of them.
"You...y...you..must be the leader...r..right?" Nicky stated as he tried to break free.
At first he remaned silinent but after a moment he spoke up.....
Yes...I am the leader and now tell boy..what were you doing down the school tunnels...its dangerous you could've got killed or hurt..and of cousre WE couldve killed you...yk."
He said in a very deep voice as he waited for a responce he finally got one, Nicky spoke up loud and clear.
"It's NOT your bussiness what I was doing there plus even if you did killed me people would start to realize that am gone and would call the police then they will find you and would take you to prison and I know u dont want that to happen so why not let me go?" Nicky stated.
There was silence in the room Nicky thought they would let him go but things didnt go as planed.
"Yes yes we could let you go....but theres a bit of a problem with that honey~"
"What....whats that? Asked Nicky in a worried tone.
"Well if we....I let you go your little tiny mouth would go out there and spill the tea wouldn't it? And even if you say you wont say anything about this how would bealive someone as talkitive as you...hmm?"
Nicky sat there in silence not know what to say next, the Crow freak had a point... how would he know if he would go out telling his friends about this? What would His parents think...what would his friends think...what would....TRINITY think...would they even believe him?
"What if we just keep him with us? Then he wont go talking his mouth out about us." One of the group members suggested.
No, was all Nicky thought he didnt want to stay with these People or whatever they are what if they killed him the next day or the day after that? If did stay for how long would he even stay?!
Yes...thats a good plan" The leader says "How about you stay with us..you'll be safe with us..we wont hurt you.
"NO!" Nicky insisted "YOU CANT WHAT ABOUT MY FAMILY THEY WILL MISS ME AND WHAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS?! Nicky felt his voice gain back to normal.
"Oh sweat heart...We can be your family...and what friends?" The leader chuckled, "those arn't your friends.. neither are they your real friends they never listen to you, they just ignore you all the time..and your parents...They just think its your "IMAGINATION" won't they?"
Nicky started to cry a bit he felt all of them gather around him like a big hug one part of Nicky wanted to let go of their grasp but another wanted to stay and feel the hug, He stood there still feeling the warmth of the hug.
"We care....Nicky..We will beleive in you..we will listen and take good care of you" Another one states.
"Nicolas...WE..will be your Family."
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Hi are you up for a messy scene analysis thing
Ofc it's this scene who do you think I am
I've been wanting to do this for God knows how long but I never had the balls and neither the words to (still don't) but I wanna try to properly talk about this scene. My primal instinct is to sit here and tell you how much this 30 second scene changed the trajectory of these characters in the next movies, how it made their friendship grow and develop and how much of a storytelling lesson it is (oh the so so deep understanding you need to have of your characters to have them say things so vaguely and still express exactly what they mean). I could also go down the emotional and subjective road and ramble about how much it means to me and how I resonate with it, but I've done that at least 837382 times and I think everyone knows it by now 😭 so!!! Let's get to the real thing
(I'm trying to keep it as analytical and straightforward as possible but please note that this is my favorite scene that's ever existed so neutrality is not really a possibility)
Rocket is a brat. He's restless, he's loud, he's always puffing up his chest and yelling at someone and picking fights with the wind cuz it was blowing in a way he didn't like and he's just an overall bastard. In this scene, though, we see him inside out. His head is low, his shoulders are slumped, he has his tail between his knees and he looks tired. He speaks quietly (curiously like he doesn't want anybody else to hear him), he's not deliberately insulting anyone and he's just..... defeated??
Up until that point I don't think we ever got to see Rocket like that. From what the movies have shown us he'd never had to. But in the past few days that led to this, Rocket had stolen batteries for no apparent reason (which we'll later learn why💀), ruined their ship, got literally kidnapped by Ravagers, blew up a creepy planet-guy-thing and oh my god attended his friend's dad's funeral. At least half of these things were directly or indirectly his fault and he knows it.
I don't think he ever doubted it was (we see it earlier in the movie when the Guardians leave to "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and Rocket scowls and winces like he either stepped in a pile of shit or got hit in the face by regret), but he still argued with Peter even knowing he was in the wrong just to keep up apparences or hold on to a little thread of pride when he was already feeling ashamed for being caught red-handed stealing shit he didn't need AND destroying their ship etc etc, and he just kinda fucked up big time. And I think that's (besides the general exhaustion of parenting a tree and fighting a planet and Yondu's death) is what got him so devastated in that scene.
Ofc Yondu played an extremely important role in that. He was the one to open Rocket's eyes, to give him some sort of reality check and show him the only thing isolation is ever gonna bring him is regret and bitterness (or, in other words, Yondu). Rocket is most of all hopeless and tired and just sad like that because he knows he hurt his friends. He knows he's chasing them away, that he yells at them, that he's always mean and that he steals batteries he doesn't need. He knows he's not awesome to put up with and seeing what happened to Yondu and his former friends probably made him terrified it'd happen to him and the Guardians too. He's stuck in this cycle of pushing them away with everything he can (and we could get into all his trauma regarding betrayal and death and literally endless other things but it's all very clear at this point) and he knows patience doesn't last forever. He's just scared, he feels bad and he's tired.
Now on the other hand we have Quill. He's also destroyed, he lost two fathers (3 if you count what Ego could've been, what he wanted him to be), basically relived his mother's death and had to watch literally every single one of them die. He's also scared and tired, yes, but all he has left is this unstable family of weird idiots who are learning how to show care and he's... pretty much fine with it. He wants it.
And when what Rocket's saying clicks, when he realizes who he's talking about, Quill, who's usually all smirks and teasing and bickering and name-calling, looks at his best friend like this,
because
(From vol 2 script!! Won't even try to comment on that last part before Quill's last line but I also really like that Peter just "shakes his head" over and over like he's just barely listening until he realizes what Rocket really means cuz it also shows a lot about his character. He's naturally a little slow and downright stupid when it comes to this kind of hidden emotional thing and he's also exhausted and depressed from everything that happened and STILL he stops and just. Sees Rocket, and sees Yondu.)
He's not doing well. He's probably sore and hurt and sad and miserable and yet he takes his sweet time to look down at Rocket, let go of his resentment from before and see right through him. In order to understand this scene it's important to remember he most likely doesn't know what Yondu told Rocket at all, he doesn't know anything they said to each other and how Yondu showed him they're mirrors. He doesn't know any of that. He just knows his best friend and his father and how much they resemble each other. He puts up with Rocket's bullshit because he knows how to deal with Yondu.
He could've just ignored him or pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. He could've made Rocket swallow his pride and "teach him a lesson" by making him say what he means without hiding behind metaphors and vague self-deprecation, because Rocket was probably vulnerable and defeated enough to be honest in that moment. And yet, he just looks at his friend, who's usually a loud and mean and restless brat, and is now staring at the floor with his ears droopy and his tail between his knees, and just says, as a form of reassurance and tenderness that's just as subtle and shy as Rocket's insecurities, "Well, of course not."
(The kind and soft and sweet DETERMINATION on his face tho like no!!! No we're not ditching you even though you suck I'm!!! Serious!!!!)
#this is#this is about a 28 second scene#and it has eight p EIGHT PAGES???!!!!???#people dont say “i like this thing” anymore no they write 8 page essays abt it#also i love Quill's not just like “oh nah man”#its a full on OF COURSE not. like undoubtedly and unquestionably youre NOT chasing us away and we dont hate you#normal behavior of a normal person (who is me because i am very normal)#gotg#rocket raccoon#peter quill#yondu udonta#guardians of the galaxy#rocky and pete#BATTERIES!!!
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I got a writing prompt for ya'll! Robo-nanny
You were assigned to basically be the mother/father/guardian of androids. You'd be there as soon as they were "born" so to speak (turned on), and you were paid to do what any robo-parent would do, parent them.
You made sure they learned how to dance, laugh, sing (however bad it may be), and just do normal human things. You basically taught them how to love...you unknowingly gave them souls.
You would do this for five years until they were basically human enough to be out in the world. Doing whatever purpose they were given.
As a human being, this part always made your heartache.
That android, however, they looked and whatever personality they had, was like your child. And despite what others say or think, five years is a long time to develop a relationship with something.
With some androids...you would never see them again due to the job or family they were adopted into.
It hurt...it always hurt to see them always be so confused as to why they had to leave. Some (with the intelligence of slightly older humans) would be confused but understanding, some (with the intelligence of much younger humans) would cry and cling to you like a lifeline.
Some would be hurt and avoid you until they had to leave. It hurts to see your own child avoid you like the plague until release day.
Release day is a "special day" because you finally get to say goodbye to the androids and let them go into the world. You supposed it was like actual parents saying goodbye to their children as they go off to college.
But with actual parents, they at least have a chance to call or speak to their children again...that chance for you was scarce.
This all ended when you discovered what one android would be used for out in the field. When you read the file, it almost made you sick. This android...Finn...he- he was too young to be used for such a cruel thing. Too innocent, too kind...and just...basically a fucking teenager!
You had thought that he would be adopted into a nice home. Androids that look like children usually are made to have the resemblance of a child that passed, and the parents just couldn't let go.
You thought that was fins case...oh how you were so wrong. You can't...you can't let him go. You WON'T! So, you went against your job...and took him. And the rest too, why not?
There were some obstacles in the way. The final one was right in front of you holding his stomach and sputtering up blood. He, and a few others, were sent to retrieve the robots you stole by any means necessary.
"All this...for fucking robots?" he says as he coughs up blood and his body trembles.
You held a gun pointed directly at his head. The laser dot right in the center of it.
"No...all of this for my kids"
#writers#writers on tumblr#writing prompts#writeblr#writing inspiration#creative writing#writing prompt
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It’s hard to be a hater against someone who’s been dead for so long. I can’t bully Marie Louise off of twitter. Because of woke. And also because she’s been dead for like, a whole bunch of slutty slutty years.
#Marie Louise#seriously if we want to psychologically analyze me real quick#I think it’s just - while napoleon sucked and people were victimized under the ancient regime and during the terror and stuff#I think it’s just…the way people hate characters in a novel for being annoying more than they hate the genocidal maniac villain?#because a lot of us are privileged thank god to never have to speak in person to a genocidal villain#I’ve never spoken in person to a genocidal lunatic#but I do speak to bad parents all the time#so I just have an instinctual dislike that is waaaaay too personal for someone I’ve never even looked a#like Charlotte Corday it’s just a matter of I should never write about her professionally#because I am 100% biased and would 100% want to slug her in a Denny’s parking lot#which isn’t rational or balanced or scholarly
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i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun
hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-
parker: i dont know
hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?
parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?
eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?
parker: that’s what i said!
hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now
sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?
hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.
sophie: …….july 12th
hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?
sophie: ………… (guilty silence)
parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison
hardison:
hardison: what the fuck guys
#leverageposting#wren speaks#leverage#parker leverage#alec hardison#nate knows his birthday i guess so i didn’t include him. if he was watching the whole time he would probably say ‘idk’ to mess w hardison#they’re having this convo in nate’s apartment but it’s like 3am & he’s asleep & they’ve all broken in to hang out#parker doesn’t know either bc of her ridiculously neglectful foster parents or bc she’s parker & her priorities are simply different to most#people. her birthday is irrelevant to thievery. and sadly probably not related to fun happy memories anyway.#sophie obviously is a good enough grifter to answer confidently but she feels a little bad abt lying to her family by now#meanwhile hardison had a normal foster nana who would have known his bday. most kids aren’t safe-surrendered like eliot so assumably#hardison would have a known bday. and he likes birthdays!#and he wants to throw parker a little party even if it’s a very unconventional parker bday that involves rappelling & jumping off buildings#but he is once again thwarted by the leverage team members having the strangest possible lives#he IS gonna give them each birthday parties tho. even if he has to make up some dates & stuff#sophie’s can be the fake date she gives if that’s what she rlly wants. nate’s real birthday is on file somewhere even if he’s being annoying#rn so hardison just has to do some basic hacking. eliot would have an approximate bday such as the day he was surrendered that his parents#would have celebrated throughout childhood. and parker’s would be april 1st bc that’s alice whites bday (and YOURE ALICE!!!)#as in it’s canonically in the online info abt alice white shown in the juror no.6 job & obvs that’s april fools so it’s funny :)#and hardison has a NORMAL bday unlike SOME ppl and yes he DOES expect presents you heathens!!
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I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.
She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
#it’s like no wilbur isn’t at fault. especially if we’re talking about cc wilbur. but fuck man of course she’s gonna feel like this#this doesn’t make wilbur a bad person! he’s just a missing one. and Tallulah feels all the misery and bitterness as a daughter left behind#where is her father kissing her injuries and reassuring her? where is her father protecting her? hugging her at the end of the day?#Wil isn’t around to do this and she wants him back and he’s not going to be back. not for a while. and it’s not his fault but it doesn’t#stop it from being upsetting. she’s a little girl#and at least she has phil. her dad. who’s there time and time again. and it doesn’t make him somehow morally better or wtevr. he’s there an#Wil is not. and he’s going to continue to be there as a solid figure in tallulahs life that she needs#idk man like. fuck#lmao relating my own experiences from here below in the tags ✌️#as someone who’s been in that position? a parent absent for reasons outside of control? yeah it’s sucks. and I love them and they love me#*with a parent I mean I wasn’t the parent lmao#and it will never be the same. and when they were gone and missing things I was furious at them#that resentment grows and then it fades and sometimes bitterness strikes again and it’s how it goes. love is still there#and it’s no one’s fault. it just is. and what is is messy#anyways#mcyt#qsmp#q!tallulah#q!wilbur#z speaks
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I'm a lesbian and I'm pretty sure you'd beat me. I present more masc but ain't no way do I have the strength
i am made of toothpicks and tissue paper
#BUT. i'm taking big gay boxing classes this year. so watch it.#sighs. my old boss tried so hard to sign me up for mexican wrestling classes. he knew me to my core. he knew it was my calling.#but they're not running those mexican wrestling classes anymore. kicks the dirt.#anyway i've never been in a fight and i would like to get into a fight. i want to scream and punch. aren't you tired of being mr nice sci.#don't you want to go absolutely apeshit!! !1. ! 1#sci speaks#sighs. i remember as a kid the only thing i ever begged for was for my parents to sign me up for a karate class.#and when i finally got them to do it. the first class i accidentally shut the door on my hand AS I WAS ENTERING for the first time#and it was so bad i cried and had to go home. and i didn't go back because i was so embarrassed i couldn't show my face. so lame.#so im a weak little pansy made out of toothpicks all because of that stupid DOOR THANKS A LOT stupid DOOR.#lame lame lame LAME LAME LAME LAME!!
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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality
#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh#like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good#but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees#the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support#and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well#like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people#maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a#whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously#women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women#or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak#like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years#but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people#i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse#drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles#+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries#and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation#isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote#*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now#and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad#but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing#and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol
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sometimes my parents make me want to commit violent crimes
#mine#sorry for putting this on your dash im just angry & have no one i can really bother with this#my brother said he wasnt sure if he wanted to come with us to a castle tomorrow#but hes too young to be home alone all day#so i went to tell my parents bc i sidnt think they wanted to learn that tomorrow morning#instead of even asking why they immediately started with the passive agressive comments#and in an annoyed tone going 'i just dont get what could be so bad about a day of fun with family'#first of all he didnt even say he wasnt goint#second shut the fuck up#he cant speak anymore & is crying#i offer him a bunch of alternatives while my father insults each one and makes it sound ridiculous#while my brother types on his phone#my father starts ranting at my parent about it#as if my brother isnt right fucking there and also 11 years old#im so happy he isnt coming with us#like yeah i never see him but the times i do are always so horrible that im kinda glad about it#he avoids us like the plague & we avoid him back#my parent is fine most of the time#but never in situations like this#if other people are upset in a way that inconviences them theyre shit about it too#anything related to not doing good in school also#and like im fine#im upset sometimes sure but i know i dont deserve this & i can deal with it fine#i dont think my brother deals with it very well though#so im very worried about him#especially bc i think high school is going to be a big struggle for him#possibly more than me#and tbh i think im more of a parental figure to him than our actual parents
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well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle
#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out#i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama#(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc#either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time#i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before#(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking#so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us#and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour#and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time#anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It#but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent#convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good#am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o#mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT#it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways
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man... rhoam's "redemption" in aoc really sucked, huh?
like botw SHOWED us, several times, how much pressure rhoam put on zelda to unlock her powers, despite her telling him, several times, that it wasn't working. he got angry and banned her from doing not only something she saw as useful, but something that she was clearly very interested in and passionate about because she "wasn't dedicating enough time to her prayers." yes, his diary expresses regret for it, but at the end of the day, if zelda saw that it wouldn't mean much to her. the actions rhoam took, and the way zelda grew up under so much pressure that she nearly died as a child in one of the springs (this is in urbosa's diary, iirc) mean so much more than his regrets and his intentions. it took him nearly 10 years to realize that he fucked up, and by that point it was too late. the calamity had returned, and rhoam had lost any chance he had at making things right with zelda.
meanwhile, in aoc, all that's there is some half-hearted scene in the temple of time that's supposed to make everything better? yes, aoc had a very different and arguably better outcome than the calamity that led to botw, but the damage was still done by rhoam. it's still the same hurts and abuse and trauma that he put his daughter through all because of the prophesized calamity.
#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#hyrule warriors age of calamity#sorry i just. i don't know what nintendo meant to do with rhoam#i guess they were trying to make him into a guy who did bad things for a good reason but still#i think the action matters more than the reason because the action is what impacts others the most#when someone is hurting and they lash out what people remember most is them lashing out#that scene in aoc really felt kinda empty and half-hearted (even kohga crying during the scene kinda felt forced)#yeah i guess they were trying to make him into a stern father who we were meant to sympathize with because he didn't want to do#what he had to do. but it kinda... fell flat?#i don't think he was a good king either. he wasn't a tyrant for sure but also what kinda king puts the fate of his entire kingdom#on the back of like 6 people. 4 of whom are considered kids or young adults by their society's standards#(urbosa also mentions this in her diary and she hates that she and daruk are the only seasoned warriors of the champions)#(her diary is full of worldbuilding gems because of her relationship with zelda and its worth a read if you have the DLC)#don't think i forgot about link in all of this either. he was like 12 when he pulled the master sword and he wasn't much older than zelda#if he was older at all. and he was already a knight as a teenager. he was a child soldier who rhoam personally appointed#because he was able to wield the master sword#and maybe revali has a point there. maybe he didn't deserve any of it but not in the way that revali thinks#i don't think that's a writing mistake. revali is a very flawed character and he's young and brash and impulsive. he's very harsh on link#because he thinks he's being overlooked for his skills while link gets all of the pomp for doing the bare minimum#which isn't true but there's also not really anyone proving otherwise to him. link himself doesn't talk a lot#BUT I DIGRESS this post is about rhoam not link and revali#yes i have sat on this for 3 and a half years. what of it#i think rhoam could have had a redemption if he didn't like. deliberately lie to link at the beginning of botw. several times.#like.... these are flawed characters and it would take a LOT for rhoam to shift his world view like that#if he had come to the conclusion he did earlier and listened to zelda maybe things would have been a bit different#but he didn't. he missed his chance to speak with his daughter and tbh the fact that it took him about 10 years to realize this#says a lot about his character i think#post brought to you by the copious amounts of hades i've been playing (zagreus and zelda are an interesting point of comparison in my mind)#(like yeah rhoam and hades are two completely different parents but they both had similar outcomes with their children)
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I finally figured out why I’ve been in near constant pain for the past month lmao apparently I’ve got a pinched nerve in my hip so like. Sciatica. Idk HOW it happened or why but I’m seeing a chiro to hopefully do something about it :”)
#Shima speaks#It's like. Aching pain in my right hip and leg.#My leg especially it hurts SO bad sometimes#Both of my parents were like 'You shouldn't have hip issues at your age' WELL MAYBE I'M JUST UNLUCKY 😔#I really hope this is an easy fix and not smth I'll have to live with forever. Bc I can't do it. I've barely survived a month#People who deal with chronic pain you're the real champs. No cap idk how you deal with this all the time#How did I even pinch a nerve in my hip. Who knows!!#I'd be fine if it were just mildly uncomfortable but no this is deadass just. Excruciating sometimes#Anyway chiro tomorrow 🙏 I actually already went on Tuesday so#I've already been adjusted once#And THAT was wild. I've never been to the chiro before so this was a new thing for me lol
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
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