#but I do not have any friends like that;; let alone one that I am willing to show my definitely not ESC RPF to lmao

[acoazlove]

A New Place | part five

Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Summary: A couple of weeks after your conversation with Azriel, your mind won’t let you sleep. what happens when the person on your mind can’t sleep either

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Angst, Fluff ? maybe?

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Eyes flutter open, blinking a few times to reorient yourself. Adjusting to the dark room. You turn your head towards the windows, dark. Still nighttime.

With a heavy sigh, you heave yourself out of bed. Waking up hasn’t been such a task since you were human. Living in that cabin—if you can call it that. Waking up back then was simpler.

But since you left your sisters and the rest of their family, you can’t bring yourself to care if you don't get out of bed ever again.

Pulling the covers off of you, sliding out of bed. Your feet meet the chilled floor while making your way blindly into the bathroom. Turning on a dim faelight.

Everything about your apartment is old, and worn down and you used to think it gave it character, made it unique. But as you look at the light you can’t help but wish it was the old cabin. Life was easier back then, no fae, no wars, no monsters, no evil kings or cauldrons, but most of all, you had your sisters. Of course you were all on the verge of starving or freezing to death. You don’t miss that.

Despite the fighting, you were all closer. Now everyone’s gone their separate ways and have their own families and partners. You don't have any of that. That thought breaks you from your reverie, turning to the mirror hanging above the sink. The edges are slightly rusted and the frame is a bit scratched.

Locking eyes with your reflection, you cringe. Dark shadows under your eyes, hair messy and frizzy as if you hadn’t brushed it in days, shoulders tense with undercurrents of your strained emotions. You look exactly how you feel. Tired.

Ignore it. A small voice in the back of your mind. You turn the tap and splash water on your face. There’s no going back to sleep so might as well do something.

Turning back and entering your bedroom, heading straight for your wardrobe. Putting on the first thing you grab. Staring in the mirror for a moment too long, you grimace once again at your reflection. How long had you looked a mess? Your friends would tell you if you didn’t look okay. Right?

With a heavy sigh, you exited your room. Passing the kitchen—you’re not feeling well, you’ll eat later, you tell yourself—and go straight to the front door, grabbing your coat as you glance at the clock on the wall by the door. 4:00 am, no wonder everything’s so quiet.

Without another thought, you slip out the door. You can’t be in that apartment for another moment. Shoving your hands into your pockets, you decide to clear your mind and go for a walk. Because walking down dark streets at 4:00 am is totally normal.

You miss the small shadow slipping under the door, following you. A second one going in the opposite direction, away from you.

─

Meandering down the streets of The City of Starlight, your thoughts wander despite trying to clear your head.

Wandering to a certain shadow-wielding Illyrian. Your conversation had been two weeks ago now. You wanted to talk to him again. or at least just see him.

You huff. Where had that thought come from? I mean he was kind enough to go for a walk with you and listen to you rant.

But he hadn’t exactly offered to be the company you’d seek out, but you’ve been lonely. You’re not sure if you’re ready to forgive your family just yet. You want to, but you won’t reach out first. They need to put in the effort for once.

Surprisingly—or unsurprisingly you should think—there are a few fae still wandering the streets. Maybe they were in your position too. Can’t sleep, and might just need to clear their mind, and get some night-chilled air

The Court of Dreams. It honestly doesn’t feel like it. You don’t feel like you’re dreaming. Nor had any of your own dreams had come true. It felt more like a nightmare.

Alone. All because your family forgot your birthday. You think bitterly. But then again, the more you think about it, you find more reasons that had been chipping away at your patience with them. It just happened to explode into a huge freakout on your birthday. The last straw.

They probably thought you were being overdramatic. You kick a small stone on the ground in front of you at that.

─

Tossing and turning, wings shifting uncomfortably, azriel grunts as he clenches his eyes shut. Trying to get some sleep for once, only for it to be just out of reach.

It’s like his mind was in overdrive—every thought shifting to another even more unwanted one—making him restless, which in time made his shadows restless. The main issue was that they weren’t telling him what was wrong. he doesn’t like that.

Finally, as his body relaxed and he was so close to falling asleep a new shadow joins the mix. Immediately slithering across his bed until it reached his ear. The information he received had him shooting up from where he had been lying down, and every last ounce of tiredness drained from his body.

She’s going for a walk. He glanced out his window. With how high the moon was in the sky he gathered that it was around four in the morning-

Why are you going for a walk at this time?

With a huff, knowing he won’t be able to sleep at all now, he pulls the blankets off him at the same time as sending a few more shadows to follow you, to make sure you’re okay and not in any danger of course.

Azriel hasn’t been able to get the conversation he had with you either. Well, it was more him listening as you spoke your mind, plus him apologising a few times and getting some of his thoughts out there. Or maybe it was just you in general. He can’t quite figure it out.

Now that he was out of bed he realized he didn’t actually know what he was planning to do with the situation. You’re going for a walk at four in the morning. You won’t want company. Besides, he already sent a few shadows. That should be fine.

The rest of Azriel’s shadows whirl around him, still agitated. Wanting him to do something, but still not telling him what. A long-suffering sigh leaves him, as he turns to look at his leathers, which are hanging over the back of the chair at his desk—thrown there after a long day—then back to the window.

He’s been staying in the townhouse since his last encounter with you, to make it easier for you if you want to seek him out and don’t want to see the rest of the family. Which you haven't. Why would you?

He also has a better view of the streets of Velaris from here. Which is why he sees a figure walk down the street, heading towards the sidra. Though he can’t see their face, he doesn’t need confirmation to know who it is. The posture, the way your shoes scuff when you walk while in thought, the way your hair falls with your head down.

Nevertheless, a shadow snakes up his arm, to his ear. Sad. Confused. Angry. Guilty. Lonely. The last word repeats over and over.

Azriel’s features contort into a frown. Watching as you disappear from view, having turned a corner. And without a second thought, he put on a change of clothes—deciding that if you do see him, his leathers possibly might make you uncomfortable, might think that there’s some kind of danger—opening up the balcony doors, stepping out and launching into the starry night sky. Following the direction you went, keeping a decent distance.

As he catches sight of you once again, slows down, descending to the ground. Landing as silent as he could for a massive Illyrian male.

Azriel steps into the shadows, trying to stay out of view and give you space.

He stands there feeling slightly awkward suddenly. Never has he felt that way about watching his family. Confused and caught off guard he misses the way his grip on his shadows loosens, most of which scramble their way over to you.

Already reaching your feet before he finally realizes, much to his horror. Frantically trying to yank them back to his own body.

─

Your train of thought is interrupted by small shadows softly brushing against your ankles before, slinking up your legs and entwining with your fingers. A soft smile curves your lips, as a scuff sounds from behind you.

“Hi Az.” your voice is soft. Looking over your shoulder, at the same time as he steps out from his hiding place. And even though it’s dark and void of any street lamp where you are, the stars and moon light his face enough for you to see the pink tinge to his cheeks. The sight brings you far more enjoyment than it should.

“Sorry.” he mutters lowly, watching the shadows almost reluctantly untangle itself from your fingers and body, returning to their master. “They have a mind of their own sometimes.”

Your smile widens ever so slightly, “It’s okay,” turning back to your beautiful view of the sidra, shimmering like the stars above. “I like them. They’re good company.”

Azriel blinks a few times, dumbfounded by your admission. You like them and think they’re good company. Not many think so. A lot of people perceive them differently. Not inherently scary, but wouldn’t consider them good company.

After a long moment he gathers himself. “Would you-” he stops himself mid-sentence, mouth snapping shut before the full question is out. But rather than running in the other direction like he assumed you would, you turned to face him, “Yes, I would like company Azriel.” That certainly caught him off guard.

You aren’t quite sure where the confidence came from. Cheeks tinting pink, gaze darting back to the sparkling sapphire river. You don’t even know if he was going to say that.

Right as you prepare yourself to leave, utterly mortified, his dark figure enters your peripheral.

Shoulders still stiff from the previous embarrassment you look out the corner of your eye. Thanking the mother when you see that his attention is elsewhere.

Your gaze casts downward, suddenly feeling awkward, you clear your throat, causing the Shadowsinger's attention to shift back to you.

Shifting between your feet, turning your head slightly to glance at him, “Uh…” Unsure.

You watch a shadow crawl around from his shoulder to his ear. a twitch between his brows at whatever information he had been given, before evening back out. Body turning fully toward you. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Your eyes widen marginally. “No!” you say all too quickly, rubbing a hand down your face. “No, I’m just not-” gaze meeting hazel, “I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go for a walk?” Voice quieter than before, “Rather than just standing here.” Trailing off.

His wings twitch at his back, you barely catch the movement, before he gives a gentle nod. You give him a small smile before whirling around, and heading back through the streets of Velaris. Azriel and his shadows follow closely behind before coming up next to you.

The walk settles into silence. Not awkward like before. Comfortable. That’s something you’d noticed about Azriel from the moment you first met him in the human realms. He always let others talk and listened intently to every word. Contributing to the conversation only when needed.

Your thoughts drift to every interaction with him. He’d always been observant and encouraged conversations with you. Wanting you to feel comfortable. Similar to what happened with Elain a long while ago. Except he’s never had any romantic feelings for you. He was just being polite. Just as he is now.

You ignore the turn in your thoughts. Weird. And your destination is only a few steps away. The bridge above the sidra. The place you come to when you really need some kind of white noise to clear your head.

You lean forward, over the bridge peering down at the broad sparkling river. Almost mirroring the beauty of the stars above. You feel Azriel settle next to you on the bridge. Twist your head to look at him. He’s looking up at the sky, shadows swirling contentedly around his shoulders and wings.

You take a moment to look at him. Really look at him. You always knew he was handsome, would have to be blind not to. But in the moonlight, he’s stunning. The way his dark hair falls over his forehead, shadows cast over his eyebrows, his other features highlighted. His hands resting on the bridge wall, the lighting illuminating the ridges and crevices of his scars.

Just in the corner of your vision, you see the sun starting to rise, pinks and oranges, painting the previous starlit skies. It was views like these that make you wonder what the other courts are like. The Night Court obviously has exceptionally beautiful night skies, the stars so clear you might think one could reach up and touch them.

But then there were The Dawn Court’s dawn skies. A customer at Benny’s Bar once told you that when the sun rose in dawn it was one of the most breathtaking views one could see, that you had to see it at least once in your immortal life.

The Day Court had some of the most incredible libraries filled with immense knowledge. Something you’d like to see and explore at least once too.

The seasonal courts had to be amazing as well, you hadn’t heard too much about them except Mor saying how much she loved The Winter Court because of her best friend and how beautiful the snow is, and briefly of Summer from when Varian is around with Amren. And Spring, well Feyre and Rhysand don’t like talking about The Spring Court, so you never asked. The same goes for The Autumn Court.

You feel a cool brush of Azriel’s shadows against your hand, pulling you from your longing, wrapping around your wrist almost as if to comfort. You let out a heavy sigh, your walk must have been longer than you anticipated. Originally just hoping to clear your head, and tire yourself out before going back to sleep.

You have work anyway. Early shift, which is fine, you get to finish early in turn.

Turning to the Shadowsinger, “I should head home. I have work earlier today.” You fiddle with your fingers, not wanting to to head back to your apartment just yet. Back to the tavern. You haven’t talked to your coworkers much since the inner circle dined at the tavern.

Azriel gives a small nod, watching your features for a few moments before speaking, “Would you like me to walk you home?”

without hesitation you give him a nod in answer. “yes please.” Your answer soft.

He gives you a gentle smile before turning with you to leave.

─

Standing at the bottom of the stairs to your apartment you run a hand down your face. Azriel is quiet behind you. You huff, spinning on your heel to face him. Trying to find the words to what you want to ask him.

He’s patient as always, features kind. Allowing you to sort through your thoughts.

Inhaling sharply, you open your mouth, then close it again. Frustrated, you just blurt it out instead, “Would you like to do something once I finish work today?”

Azriel’s brows raise fractionally, and your face heats up. “of course only if you’re free, or even want to. If you don’t want to that’s okay-“ You pause your rambling when you see the subtle smirk curving his lips.

“What?” You cross your arms over your chest. He huffs out a laugh. “You didn’t even give me a chance to answer,” keen eyes, observant as ever, see you shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable from the lack of an actual answer. “I would like that. I’ll come by and you can decide.” Voice more quiet than before.

You give him a curt nod, happy with the response, turning toward your stairs once more, stopping at the top step, looking over your shoulder to the Shadowsinger, “Thank you az.” At the tilt of his head you continue, “For just… showing up, I guess. I appreciate it.” Smile at him and slip through your door before he can reply.

Azriel stares at the closed door for a few long moments before heading back to the townhouse. His shadows far more calm now. Interesting.

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a/n: Hi guys, I’m so so sorry that I took so long to post this but I was in a really bad writing slump and had other stuff going on in my life. I’m better right now and am planning on writing more. I know this isn’t the longer part that I asked you about but I just wanted to get this out, and it would’ve taken longer to come out. i’ve already started the next part as well. next week I probably won’t update just because I’m going to Australia with my sister for a week but you never know. Anyway I edited this but there still might be some mistakes. I love you all and thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoyed. <3

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GALE DEKARIOS *  assorted dialogue from baldur's gate 3

is that... is that truly you? i thought i might never see you again.

i love you, more than i've ever loved anyone. and you've proven your love for me in more ways than even the greatest mathematicians would dare to count.

you licked a dead spider. dead spider. you licked it. that is something that happened.

i think we need to get you some air and perhaps have a long talk about unresolved childhood issues.

stop licking the damn thing!

i see the art of eloquence is alive and well.

i'm awed, impressed, and a little bit scared of you right now.

nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit.

i've never wanted to kiss you more than i do now.

right now, i need nothing more than a kiss.

tell me you feel the same way. tell me you want what i want. please.

i'll always have you.

you really would prefer me as i am?

do you doubt me?

you put the stars to shame.

let's sit here another while - i want to drink you in.

there you are.

you led me down this path.

i don't know myself anymore.

all this... it's not who i am. around you, i'm not who i want to be.

you really are absolutely heartless, aren't you?

i was hoping you'd spare me a moment.

this seems as good a time as any for me to stop babbling on.

i think you're rather wonderful. and that's not a word i waste on anyone unworthy of it.

go. enjoy your evening.

i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities.

i promise we'll make it work, if you'll have me.

what are you doing? stand back! now!

i thought i meant more to you than a sacrificial lamb. clearly i was mistaken.

you've brought me right where i need to be. i have no right to ask more of you.

you're plotting something, aren't you?

i go where you go.

i'm telling you, this is a mistake.

don't worry too much. a handful of powerful spells go a long way.

hold on! it's not too late to settle this without bloodshed.

mercy is not your strong suit, is it?

well... so much for my previous sentiment.

the choice is yours. there's really no good decision to be made here.

i'll be delighted to see you try... from a safe distance.

how generous of you.

there has to be a way to stop this thing!

i have no desire to end your life. you know that.

i see the glint in your eyes. you've a strategy in mind. the same one as me, i'd wager.

well, now that we know what it is, i suggest we leave it well alone.

better be careful around here.

i'll miss you, friend. your companionship has been quite the education.

i won't lie. i miss our group.

don't worry, i'll handle matters from here.

i'm ready. are you?

we must discuss it privately.

have you lost your wits? you must not do this!

we can't afford to let that happen.

they say madness and genius are separated by but a hair's breadth. perhaps the same is true of madness and stupidity.

you make me sound like some preening peacock.

i'm taking notes. making observations.

you're adorable even when you're teasing me.

you know what, i think i've clearly had far too much wine. and you've had nowhere near enough.

don't worry about me. i'm quite content to enjoy the party from here.

don't let me drag you away.

that, my friend, must remain a secret.

i do hope you know what you're doing.

might be the wine talking.

why am i doing this?

i'm sorry it had to come to this.

i'm going to bed. perhaps this was all a mistake.

careful. you don't know what i'm about to ask.

kill me, and i'll destroy the city anyway.

i want it to be perfect.

stay with me a while, will you?

i'm in love with you.

i'm many things, but coy's not one of them.

listen, i need to speak to you.

i might need you to be more specific.

i regret many things in life.

we all have our burdens, one way or the other.

i am as honored as i am enamored.

i am not the only one who longs for you... yet you chose me.

my time is yours. what do you need?

tell me, what can i do for you?

you need me?

you look... comfortable.

[suugarbabe]

sirius black x potter!reader

was feeling angsty and sad girl a few days ago and wrote this so if this is only for me then that’s okay 🥲

He knew he shouldn’t be doing it; knew Lily would scold him. But who could blame him for enjoying a relaxing afternoon cig in an empty common room. And Sirius *loved* the sofas in the common room. He even joked about asking Minnie if he could take one for his own flat once he graduated.

So there he was, spread out on his favorite velvet sofa, cigarette between his lips. He lit it with his wand casually, taking a long drag with his eyes closed. He slowly let the smoke billow from his lips, taking in the silence around him when he heard the portrait door swing open.

He coughed, sitting up straight and waving his hand in the air quickly to try and disperse the smoke lingering in the air as he realized it was just you coming and not someone who would get him in trouble, “Godric, love, you scared me. Thought you were Evans.”

His words fell on deaf ears as you walked right by him and sat at the other end of the sofa. It was like you didn’t even notice him, or the smoke for that matter. Instead you sat with your legs criss-crossed on the couch, eyes cast down to your fingers fiddling in your lap.

Sirius just…watched for a moment. You were clearly upset. But also clearly wanted to be alone, or so it seemed. He thought maybe he should leave, even bracing himself on the arm of the sofa to go. Then he saw it, the slight tremble in your shoulders, your hands coming to cup your face.

“Woah, hey there trouble…are you okay, love?” When you didn’t respond he moved closer, hand reaching out tentatively as if he was approaching a wounded animal. Your real name left his lips the second time he tried to get your attention, “What’s got you so-“

“What’s wrong with me?” your head turned so abruptly that Sirius flinched back. Your eyes welled with tears, lip quivering. Sirius was always shit with feelings, pushing his own deep enough down that even he had trouble finding them.

“Why would you say that, love? Did some rotten bloke say that to you? Do you want me to go get James?” Your eyes widened, “No!”

Sirius nodded, “O-okay, I’ll just, erm..” He glanced around the common room, noticing it was still empty despite the two of you. He wracked his brain for something comforting to say when you started speaking again.

“Why am I never good enough, Siri? Why am I good enough for one date, but not two? Why am I good enough to flirt with at a party, but nothing more, hmm? They can make out with me in a dark corridor but just as long as their friends don’t see…” a few tears fell down your cheeks, eyes shiny and glossy as you looked over to him, “Sirius..why doesn’t anyone like me enough to call me theirs?”

At that the tears began to fall harder and Sirius felt his chest tighten, his heart felt like someone had it held in their fist and started squeezing. “Oh, sweet girl…come on, c’mere..” Sirius wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest. The action was so kind and so sweet that it only made you cry more, and every sob that wracked your body made Sirius want to squeeze you harder.

Sirius held you tight, leaning back to lay on the couch again but keeping you close to his chest. “I don’t know who made you feel this way, dolly, but they’re wrong.” You buried your face into his chest with a groan, “You don’t have to say that, Siri…” Sirius’s brows furrowed, “You mean the truth?”

You turned your head, settling your chin on his chest to look at him, “You don’t have to say nice things and call me sweet to cheer me up because I’m related to James.” Sirius smiled, running his fingers lightly through your hair, “If anything, being related to James should make you repulsive.” This got you to smile, lightly pinching his side in revenge.

“Ow, fuck! Okay, okay, sorry,” Sirius’s giggle was contagious and seeped into you, spreading warmth and dissipating any previous feelings. Sirius’s smile softened seeing you more relaxed, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. His thumb traced lightly over your cheekbone, “I know guys have been shit to you lately, you don’t deserve it in the slightest. Maybe..erm, maybe we can hangout tomorrow. I’ll show you a proper good time.”

You gnawed slightly on your bottom lip to keep your grin from growing too large, “We’re hanging out now, Siri.” Sirius nodded, “Yeah, s’pose you’re right..” You laid your head back down, Sirius now absentmindedly stroking your hair. “Can I just take a nap here, Siri. I’m emotionally exhausted,” you buried your face deeper into his chest, like you already knew he wouldn’t deny you.

“Sure, doll. Go ‘head and get all snug,” Sirius let you adjust and get comfortable. Because how could he ever deny you. He loved you. It just wasn’t quite time for you to know that fully..not yet

[kkoga]

Masterlist ! next !

WC — 1.16k

Creds to @cafekitsune for the divider!!

Chapter 1 — Love is a scam

Valentine's Day at Dream Academy was the worst.

The hallways were drowning in heart-shaped balloons, pink streamers, and tacky paper hearts taped to every available surface. 

The student council had really outdone themselves this year, turning the cafeteria into some kind of lovesick wonderland. 

The scent of chocolate and cheap roses hung in the air like bad perfume, and to make matters worse, a live band was playing slow love songs on the stage.

It was the kind of scene that would make any hopeless romantic swoon.

Too bad you weren't one of them.

Slumped over your lunch tray, you stabbed halfheartedly at your food, watching couples exchange shy smiles and hand-written love notes. Someone let out an excited squeal near the entrance—probably another confession happening. Gross.

"Ugh, I hate love," you muttered, setting your fork down with an irritated clatter.

Your friends, who have been watching you with a mix of concern and amusement, exchanged knowing looks.

"Okay, Grinch," Dani teased, nudging your arm. "What did love ever do to you?"

You shot her a deadpan look. "Dumped me three weeks before Valentine's and now it's rubbing itself in my face."

"Fair point," Lara said, sipping her soda. "But in love's defense, Jay was kind of a jerk."

Jay—your now ex-boyfriend—wasn't the worst guy in the world, but he wasn't exactly the best either. You've been together for almost a year, and then, just when you thought things were solid, he hit you with the classic "I think we should take a break." Which, as everyone knew, was a breakup code for "I'm already over this, but I don't want to look like the bad guy."

So yeah. Love sucked.

"I don't get why this holiday is such a big deal," you grumbled, watching as a guy from the soccer team handed a bouquet to his very flustered girlfriend. "It's just an excuse to flex relationships and make single people feel miserable."

Dani smirked. "Or maybe you're just better because you're single now."

"Gee, thanks for the insight, Dr. Phil."

Lara leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms. "I mean, if you really hate it, you could just skip the rest of the event. No one's forcing you to be here"

You let out a dramatic sigh. "Yeah, but then I'd be sitting in my room alone, sulking. At least here, i get to be bitter in good company"

"Aww, that's the spirit!" Dani cheered, patting your back like a proud coach. "Embrace the bitterness!"

The band on stage finished their song, and the lead singer stepped up to the mic. "Alright, lovebirds, this next one’s a classic. If you’ve got someone special, grab ‘em close!"

As the opening notes of some cheesy love song filled the air, couples started slow dancing near the stage. You groaned, resting your forehead against the table.

This was going to be a long night.

Before Dani could respond, the speakers crackled, and a voice boomed across the cafeteria.

"Attention, everyone! Don't forget to follow the Valentine's color code! If you're not wearing a designated color yet, grab a shirt from the booth near the stage!"

You groaned. Right. The stupid color-coding system.

Every year, the school forced students to participate in this ridiculous tradition, where your relationship status was basically put on display through the color of your shirt.

Red meant you were in love. Orange meant you were single but had a thing going with someone. Blue was for the heartbroken. Pink for those searching. White for the ones who prioritized studying over romance. Yellow meant you were moving on. Black? Bitter. And wearing your normal uniform meant you weren’t interested at all.

Dani stood up, pulling a black T-shirt from her backpack and grinning. "I, for one, am proudly representing Team Bitter." She slipped the shirt over her uniform, showing off the bold lettering across the front: LOVE IS A SCAM.

Lara rolled her eyes and pulled on a yellow shirt. "I’m moving on, thank you very much."

You hesitated for a second before sighing and grabbing the blue one from your bag. "Guess I’m Team Broken."

As you pulled it over your head, Dani nudged you. "You could’ve gone black and joined me in my hatred of love."

You smirked. "Tempting, but I’m not that dramatic."

"Rude," Dani scoffed, crossing her arms. 

"Bitter is a valid life choice."

Lara laughed, but then her gaze flickered to the entrance. "Uh-oh. Here comes Mr. Moisture ."

Your body tensed as you spotted him walking in—wearing an orange shirt. Single and connected. So he already had something going with someone else. Figures.

You turned back to your tray, pretending you hadn’t seen him.

"Alright, we are officially boycotting sad thoughts," Dani declared, grabbing your arm. "C’mon, let’s go mess around near the confession booth."

"Why?"

"Because watching people panic over their crushes is hilarious."

You sighed but let them drag you along. If nothing else, at least you weren’t sulking alone.

As the band on stage started another slow song, you glanced around at the sea of red, pink, and orange shirts around you, feeling your stomach twist. Maybe you were bitter. Maybe you did hate love.

Or maybe you just hated the fact that it felt like everyone was moving on except you

The confession booth was one of the biggest attractions at the event—students could drop anonymous notes in the designated boxes, and later, volunteers would pin them up on a large board for everyone to see. Some were dramatic, some sweet, and some just straight-up weird.

"Look at this one," Lara snorted, pointing to a note written in bright red ink. I love you so much, but I’m too scared to say it in person. Please notice me, A.M.

Dani laughed. "Classic secret admirer move. Respect."

You rolled your eyes, scanning the pinned-up confessions absentmindedly. A few were cringeworthy, others were kind of cute—but then, your gaze landed on a small, folded note tucked into the corner of the board. Unlike the others, this one wasn’t pinned up properly, like someone had stuffed it there in a hurry.

Curious, you reached out and unfolded it.

The handwriting was neat but slightly rushed, like the writer had been nervous.

I miss you. - S

You frowned. "Huh."

Dani peered over your shoulder. "Ooooh. Mystery love letter?"

You shrugged, reading it over again. S. Who the hell was S?

"Think it’s for you?" Lara asked, raising a brow.

You snorted. "Doubt it."

"Well, let’s think," Dani said, tapping her chin. "S could be... Samantha, Sarah, Shane—"

"Or just some random person’s confession that got shoved in the wrong spot," you pointed out.

But even as you said it, you found yourself staring at the note a second longer than necessary.

"I miss you."

For some reason, the words sent a weird, unfamiliar flutter through your chest.

You shook your head, stuffing the note back where you found it. It was probably nothing.

Right?

[narrans]

A Small and Tall Collection | Chapter Eighteen | Difficult Decisions

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Chapter Eighteen | Difficult Decisions

Soren forced himself just to watch as Ashlynn vanished, her body becoming one with the darkness. There were a million things he could’ve done or said, but he had to trust everything was happening for the right reason.

In the meantime, his frustration continued to build as he thought about what cruel things this stranger – this Borrower – might’ve said to Ashlynn. His friend was too sweet and too fierce to be brought down by just anything. That word – pet – seemed to be the thing that really set her off. He hoped and prayed Ashlynn didn’t think he and his brothers ever saw her like that. Sure, their first meeting was less than ideal, but the moment they met it was clear Ashlynn had a will of her own.

He wasn’t entirely sure why, but his feet carried him out of the bathroom alone and toward the kitchen. Perhaps it was residual frustration. Maybe it was a desire to confront this stranger and ask what her problem was. Whatever the case, all Soren found when he rounded the corner were bloody bandages, murky water, and an empty table. There was no sign of the stranger, and Soren wasn’t sure he cared.

When he went into his room, he explained to the boys that the stranger had said a few unkind things, and that Ashlynn wasn’t feeling well so she decided to go ahead home.

They were devastated.

They asked a hundred questions that Soren didn’t have answers to.

What did the stranger say?

Where is the stranger now?

Was Ashlynn in danger because of the stranger?

Was she actually sick? Or did she just want to be alone?

What was going to happen now?

Will Ashlynn be back?

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Same three words over and over until, finally, the boys stopped asking questions. Dinner was a somber affair, even when Soren suggested that they start with dessert and then go on to their main meal. It was depressing. None of Soren’s tricks worked and the night ended with both younger brothers with glossy eyes as they finally made it to their beds; not that they stayed there for long.

It took no time for both Dorian and Rey to find their way into Soren’s room, asking to stay there with him for the night. Soren, who had been staring blankly at the ceiling for the past three hours, made no effort to refuse them or coax them back to their rooms. His mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of what Ashlynn might be thinking and where she was now.

Was she beneath the floors right here and now? Thinking about what the stranger – that Borrower – had said about being a “pet” and how Ashlynn wasn’t a true Borrower because of it? Did it really matter so much that Ashlynn was spending more time with him and his brothers? Had they inadvertently hurt her culture? Her way of life? Was it an insult for them to offer her help or a place at their table? Had they lured her away from what was important? All in the name of helping her? All in the name of wanting to be her friend?

Soren let his brothers tuck themselves in just under his arms, firmly pressed against his sides, as he listened for any hint of sound that Ashlynn might still be there with them.

No such sign came.

And so a sleepless night drudged onward for the eldest of the brothers.

~~~^*^*^~~~

Ashlynn made her way back to her place beneath the floorboards of Soren’s home, curled into bed, and let herself break. Despite how kind Soren’s words were, there was something that simply felt painfully true about what the stranger said to her. Ashlynn slept restlessly. Her tossing and turning did nothing to quiet her mind. In fact, it knocked her thoughts loose.

Was that stranger right? Am I not a Borrower anymore?

She’d never been forced to confront the thought of what would happen if she wasn’t doing what she was supposed to. For so long, who she was had been tied to what she was. Isn’t that how it worked?

What does this mean for me? And why does this stranger get to tell me who and what I am? And why does it bother me so much?

Is it… because it’s true? I wouldn’t be bothered by it if I didn’t think that it was at least a little true, right?

Could she still call herself a Borrower if she continued living the way she was?

One final question.

What am I going to do next?

Ashlynn curled tighter into a ball under her stitched comforter, only a tuft of her hair poking out and letting in what little light she kept on beneath the floorboards by the twinkle lights she’d moved from her place in the ceiling to beneath the floorboards.

Up above, she heard the muffled voices of the boys talking about something she couldn’t quite make out, though she had a pretty good guess that it had something to do with her. She wanted to know more, but couldn’t bring herself to focus on the words. Rather than focus on what was going on above her, she snagged the edges of her cloth, shoved it into her ears, and stayed curled beneath her blankets as her thoughts continued to compound in her head.

Sleep did not come.

Not this night.

Or the next.

Or the next.

~~~^*^*^~~~

One week. It had been an entire week and Soren hadn’t heard anything from Ashlynn, their little Borrower friend. It was nerve wracking. He thought it was bad when his brothers were out of sight, and this was so much worse and yet different at the same time. Soren had grown accustomed to talking to someone who wasn’t his brothers. He loved them. It was a fact. He had also loved his talks with Ashlynn – another adult who had complicated thoughts and feelings about so many things in life. Learning what little she was willing to share. Her perspectives. Explaining his world.

It made him feel like he was partaking in something bigger than himself, no pun intended.

He hoped Ashlynn was nearby at the very least. Even if she ignored his last request of coming to say good-bye, he hoped that she hadn’t left entirely. Even if she did, Soren knew he had to force himself to be okay with it.

Sadly, the more he tried to force himself to let go, the more he felt the urge to hang on.

He stood there in the kitchen slicing chicken to make their own chicken strips for their dinner as his thoughts started to get the better of him.

Is she really taking what that stranger said so seriously? Is she okay? I hope she hasn’t done anything reckless like run away or move. Maybe she’s… borrowing? Maybe she’s taking a step back and borrowing from another apartment instead of our own? And if she’s gone? What then? I can’t have her leave like that… not when I wanted to tell her how m-

“Hey… Soren.”

Soren nearly dropped the knife in his hand as he spun around, eyes locking onto the familiar frame of Ashlynn as she stepped out of the electrical cover. He felt the weight that plagued him instantly vaporize, only to come crashing down on him again.

Yes, Ashlynn was standing there, but the clothes on her body and the pack on her back laden with tools and items.

One look and he knew why she was there – she was saying good-bye.

~~~^*^*^~~~

Ashlynn could see it in Soren’s face the moment she stepped outside of the wall. Disappointment. Hurt. Eagerness. Happiness. A look one would give when the realization that time had run out. Ashlynn had thought a lot about it and, with a heavy heart, loaded up her pack once more and prepared for another journey out into the wilderness to find a home. Her mind was made up.

A Borrower wasn’t a Borrower if they didn’t follow the rules.

A Borrower wasn’t a Borrower if they interacted daily with humans.

A Borrower wasn’t a Borrower if they talked to a human.

And, a Borrower wasn’t a Borrower if they had intense feelings for one of those humans.

It was a very simple process that, ultimately, reminded Ashlynn that she needed to leave. It wasn’t a matter of what she did or didn’t want to do. No Borrower would ever choose to leave unless they were seen or didn’t have a human to borrow from. It was mandatory.

It was what was right.

Still, she couldn’t – wouldn’t – leave without honoring the one request Soren asked of her. He wanted to tell the boys something, and he deserved a proper goodbye. Ashlynn did want to say the same for the youngest two, but she wasn’t sure she could face them and their tear-stained cheeks that would undoubtedly come with pleas for her not to go.

She wasn’t even sure if she could make it through this one.

“Leaving?” The one word felt like it could crush her. His tone was soft, luring her in like the smell of warm cinnamon and sweet honey. It was also tense. This would be difficult for all of them.

The Borrower averted her gaze, staring at a smudge on the counter she was sure came from her shoe, and nodded bashfully. Soren’s sigh was weighed down with unspoken emotions. She could feel it in herself too. It would be a miracle if she were able to walk away without filling her eyes with tears.

“Now?” A pang compressed her heart. A single nod. Ashlynn was sure she saw Soren mouth some curse word as he puffed a single time and folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the counter opposite her. As usual, his powers of mind reading were kicked into high gear. Despite rehearsing this interaction dozens of times as each essential found its way into her pack, Ashlynn now was completely tongue tied.

There were several seconds of silence, each compounding the gravity of Ashlynn’s impending journey. After nearly two and a half minutes, both looked up simultaneously and tried to break the silence.

“Soren-”

“Ashl-… oh…” It made them both smile, even for a moment like they’d done over the past months together, as he gestured. “Go ahead.” Cheeks scarlet, Ashlynn nodded.

“Thanks,” she stated clearly. Her chest tightened again. “I just wanted to say… thank you. For everything. I… you….” She had to swallow hard to keep the emotions from choking her. “I can’t repay what you’ve given me, and I wish I could say I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my life… but… I… I can’t stay.”

Soren’s body posture tightened, arms drawing closer to his chest as he looked down at the ground. Something was going on in his head. He chewed on his bottom lip. He wasn’t looking up. Everything screamed non-acceptance to Ashlynn’s words, and the defiance in his eyes confirmed it when he looked back at her.

“Yes… you can. You just don’t want to,” he stated flatly.

Ashlynn bristled and took a step forward boldly. “That… that’s not true!”

“Oh please,” sighed Soren. “You’re letting some stranger who doesn’t mean anything dictate who you are and what you should or shouldn’t do. If you wanted to stay, you would. You know what I think? You’re scared – and it isn’t of us. You’re scared because for the first time you think you don’t know who you are.”

As if she’d been slapped in the face, Ashlynn’s jaw went slack and all rebuttals went blank. Soren jumped on her silence and continued.

“You think that the only thing you are is a Borrower, or whatever you said in the bathroom that day. You don’t see you’re so much more than that, Ashlynn. You’re smart, and funny, and kind. You are an inventor and creator. You’ve got such a fascinating perspective on life, not just because of your size but because of the things you’ve learned how to do yourself. And I’ve never met anyone as athletically inclined as you. Survivor. Music lover. Sister, not just to your brother but also to mine. And… for me… well…” Soren’s pause as he continued to rattle off attribute after attribute increased Ashlynn’s heartrate tenfold. That pause, however, just about did her in. His tone wasn’t harsh, but it was hurt, voice straining against some unnamed emotion.

No. No. No! This isn’t how this parting was supposed to go! And why did he pause?

“F-for you?” Ashlynn accidentally echoed the words as Soren shook his head and dipped his head.

“Doesn’t matter,” he muttered. Excuse me? What?! What does that mean? “The point is that you are a fantastic person, Ashlynn. It doesn’t matter what that Borrower said. If that’s all you want to be, that’s fine; but don’t say you have to leave because of that. You’re no pet and you’re so much more than one measly little word.”

Without warning, he pushed himself off the counter and began walking away.

“S-soren?!”

“I’m getting the boys so they can say goodbye,” he said, the words haphazardly thrown over his shoulder as he quickly strode away at an impossible speed for a Borrower.

Ashlynn grasped her chest, fingers tugging at the layers of clothes on her body making her way too hot. That spiel was almost too much. Did she dare stay to say goodbye to the boys? Especially when this one went so poorly?

“What?!” The chorus of the two youngest brothers sounded like clattering silverware in a cold, empty house. It shattered the air and snapped Ashlynn out of her temporary trance. Thunderous footsteps rounded the corner and the pale blue eyes on those youthful round faces were already glistening.

“Ashlynn!” Rey choked as he was the first to scurry up to the countertop. “Please don’t go! W-we didn’t mean to scare y-you by holding the stranger. I-I-I’m the o-one who did it. Y-you don’t have to-to-to see me.”

“Please, Ashlynn? Y-you don’t have to go. I’ll be good and won’t move so fast anymore when lifting you up. I promise! Please! Please!” Dorian pleaded.

Ashlynn expected bombardment, but this was a whole new level. The boys had advanced so quickly that Ashlynn didn’t have time to back away. Her vision was instantly consumed with the boys’ faces, fingers cresting ever so slightly over the edge of the counter. She glanced at Soren, who was back at his original position of folded arms and leaning against the counter. It was clear he was hurt, but he kept silent to let Ashlynn handle the boys.

Not jumping in to help… he’s definitely upset with me.

“Ashlynn? Please? Do you really have to go?” asked Rey. He pressed the heel of his palm into his eye to wipe away the gushing tears. It felt like an impossible challenge to barely nod her head, eyes glimpsing from boy to boy.

“Y-yeah,” she stammered. “I… I’m sorry. I have to.”

“But, why?” Dorian whimpered.

“Guys,” Ashlynn folded her arms before reaching up and pinching the bridge of her nose, hoping silently they didn’t see the subtle tear wipe by her eyes. “I… It’s not just what the stranger told me. I made the decision, and it was something I was thinking from the beginning.”

Confusion flitted across the brothers’ faces, so Ashlynn reluctantly elaborated.

“I… when you all first let me go back into the walls, I was supposed to leave. At the time, it was super snowy. It was too dangerous for me to leave then, and so I made myself a promise that I wouldn’t change and that I’d leave when it was safe again. But… then… I spent time with all of you. I wanted to spend time here and forgot my promise.”

Silence. Unbearable silence. It was Rey, as it always was, who broke first with his sweet, endearing voice.

“You… were always going to leave?”

Ashlynn nodded solemnly and kept her eyes averted. “I wasn’t even supposed to stay to let you fix my arm when I was sick. It’s just part of the rules.”

“What rules?” Dorian interjected. “Did we break them?”

“No… I did,” sighed Ashlynn. “And leaving is the only thing that’ll make it right again. It’s why I can’t stay.”

“B-but… will we s-see you again?” asked Rey. Tears spilled down the boys’ cheeks as Ashlynn shook her head.

“I… I don’t think so. No.” muttered Ashlynn. “And if I want to get to a place to set up camp, I need to get going. I’ve stayed too long in the first place.”

Reluctance filled the brothers’ faces. Their desire was obvious, but something kept them quiet. Perhaps they heard Ashlynn’s determination. Maybe they were hoping their compliance would convince her to stay. Regardless, Ashlynn forced herself to the edge of the countertop to touch the tips of Rey and Dorian’s fingers.

“I… am so glad to have known you. I’m going to miss you, all of you. I told Soren, but I can’t thank you enough for letting me be a part of your family.” The goodbyes were tearful and strained, but they happened all the same. Ashlynn made sure to squeeze the boys’ fingers hard in a hug she could manage, daring to linger as she clutched onto Soren’s hand for the last time.

“Safe travels. Don’t forget what I told you, Ashlynn. You’re more than you think you are, and I hope you know you’re always welcome back,” replied Soren. Ashlynn nodded and, forcing herself to not look back over her shoulder, hoisted her pack back on and marched into the walls.

“Bye, Ashlynn.”

She didn’t see the rope. In fact, the Borrower practically crashed into the ground since her eyes were blurred with tears. The little woman was sure she could hear the two young boys crying just on the other side of the wall, but this was for the best. Each step carried the weight of a milk carton for the Borrower, and the gravity of what she was doing only made each step harder.

This is why I need to leave! I’ve become too comfortable. I’m not relying on myself. Before, this wouldn’t have been this much of an issue. Challenging? Sure. Impossible like how it feels now? Wouldn’t have been a thought. I’ve gotten soft. Comfortable. I need to go. I’ll find someplace new. I won’t be seen. I won’t get sick.

Everything will go back to the way things were…

She repeated this mantra as she walked over the pipes and cords in the walls. She continued to repeat it as she reached the hole in the floor leading to the outside world. All the way from the line on the ground to the edge of the muddied path along the side of the house, the Borrower continued to recite the words.

It wasn’t until dusk started to stretch across the sky that Ashlynn forced her thoughts to a stop and she replaced it with a rough to-do list to prepare a camp for the evening. Twigs were gathered. Leaves stacked. Makeshift bed propped up between the roots of a well-hidden tree. Ashlynn dared to light a fire to heat a small morsel of meat she’d stashed.

The foil reflected the little flickering light in front of her, but it took her restocking and relighting the fire three different times for her to actually begin heating her meal. Despite everything being set up perfectly, it all felt off.

Why? Is it because I miss the indoors? Is it because it’s the first night away from a home I loved? What feels off about this whole thing?

For three days, Ashlynn fought these feelings off, chalking it up to her being home sick. Three days of marching off into the woods along the apartment line in search of a new home, someplace to call her own. Here, on the third night as she settled in for the evening, Ashlynn really started to think.

Ashlynn glanced around, her senses absorbing the evening around her. The cold of the air kept many creatures under the ground or up in the trees. No insects chirped like they would in the deep spring and summer months. Birds, except for birds of prey, were asleep. Anything scurrying about was staying close to their holes – their homes.

Ashlynn curled in on herself, eyes still fixed on the gleaming light as it flickered and reflected off of the foil her meal was wrapped in. Everything had come so naturally for her. From setting up the area to bedding down for the night. It was an old hat, something she easily slipped into.

Would someone who isn’t a Borrower be able to do these things with such ease? Ashlynn wondered. If I’d lost my abilities as a Borrower, I wouldn’t have remembered everything this easily. Sad… I can’t even prove that stranger wrong….

I… I did all of this… but did I do it to prove it to myself? Or to that person? And why does that matter? Why do their opinions matter? I… I was happy… Why would I change if I was happy? All because someone else said something? What kind of… huh… what kind of idiot would give away their happiness because of what someone else said? Who was a stranger to tell Ashlynn who and what she was?

Everything that seemed so clear over the past few days vaporized. Soren was right. She’d always tied her concept of self to what she was. She had thought for so long that all of those things Soren listed before made her a good Borrower, but that wasn’t the case. All of those things helped her be a good Borrower, but it didn’t make her one.

Soren was right… and now she’d made a mess of everything.

She cast her eyes on the path behind her, and the only thought in her mind and heart was whether or not she should trek back down that lonesome road to the family she longed for, or did she trudge forward into the unknown.

~~~^*^*^~~~

Soren wiped down the counters for the fifth time. It never seemed like it was going to be enough. No matter how he hoped and searched, there were no signs for the past week that Ashlynn was there or that she was coming back. Little things all around reminded the boys of their little friend.

It was heart-wrenching every time they came across something that used to belong to her or that they’d put in place to make her life easier. Secured lines on the couch. Bells by doors and desk chairs to alert them if she was on the ground. Boxes with snacks and chip fragments.

All of these things were items Soren was slowly beginning to clean and stow away back into their rightful places. There was little sense in keeping them around if Ashlynn wasn’t going to be there. It was also a matter of awareness. Ashlynn felt like she wasn’t doing enough on her own.

If another Borrower were to come through, they would probably feel the same and be suspicious of the boxes and other easily laid out trinkets.

It didn’t make it any easier. Dorian and Rey still asked questions and even begged one evening to be let out after dark to go looking for their friend. The thought of Ashlynn being alone in the wilderness was heart breaking for them. Still, Soren refused.

“But, Soren… why? Don’t you miss her? Don’t you want Ashlynn to come back?” asked Rey as he played with the edge of his plate, dinner completely untouched.

“I… I do miss her, and I do want her to come back, but that’s not up to me,” stated Soren.

“It could be. You could ask her to come back. You could convince her,” muttered Dorian, imitating his younger brother and playing with the edge of his untouched plate of food.

Soren shook his head while snagging a few bites of food from his own dinner. “It wouldn’t be right. Even if I knew where she was, I wouldn’t try to convince her. She thinks she needs to go and do something,” stated Soren. “Now, if you’re not going to eat, then we need to clear up the table and get ready for bed.”

“But… Soren… what if we don’t ever get to see her again? Wouldn’t that make you sad?” asked Rey. The words stung. Of course he wanted to see her again. It was a no brainer, but that wasn’t what mattered. He shoved his feelings aside as he pushed himself up from the table.

“Then we won’t see her. And it doesn’t matter how it makes me feel. If she wants to come back, she will.”

“She already has.”

Soren nearly dropped the plate in his hands as he and the boys all whipped around, eyes locking onto the figure standing tall on the edge of the counter. The joyous sparks were like fireworks in their eyes, yet they stayed in place, afraid she was just a vision. It didn’t stop the eldest of the boys from uttering her name as it teased his lips into a smile.

“Ashlynn.”

Her blue-gray eyes glistened with tears of happiness as she stared at the three boys who she had become attached to. Sure, it was only a week, but it had been a long week. The trek had been less than ideal, but now that she was back the Borrower was certain she never wanted to leave.

That is… if they would have her.

“Ashlynn! We’ve missed you! Where’d you go? Are you okay? Are you in trouble? You’re not leaving again, right?” Both Dorian and Rey spat out questions faster than Ashlynn could register them. The only thing she was actually acutely aware of was the glisten in Soren’s golden hazel eyes. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from them. There were dozens of emotions, but it was one she hadn’t seen before that really caught her attention.

Heartache.

Excitement.

Longing.

The pitter patter of the boys’ feet as they darted from the table to the edge of the counter, unable to control themselves for a moment longer, is what pulled Ashlynn away from those hypnotic eyes. Perspective consumed with the found faces and eager blue eyes, she felt no need to back away as she would have when she first met them.

“Ashlynn? Are you staying? We really missed you,” said Dorian.

“Yeah, we all did. Where did you go?” Rey chimed in. Ashlynn chuckled and shook her head. There was so much she wanted to say, and yet she hadn’t thought of a single way to say everything she needed to.

“I… I went out into the woods for a bit. Made it three days out actually,” Ashlynn replied. “And… it took me that long to… realize a few things.” She looked up at Soren. “You… you were right. as you always are. I… I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve put it together sooner that what I am isn’t the only thing I am.

“And… I… I’m sorry… and… if it’s okay… I’d like to come back. I’d like us to be together again. If you’ll have me.”

“Well duh!” grinned Rey.

“Like you have to ask,” Dorian mimicked.

Soren remained quiet for a moment, eyes locking onto Ashlynn’s gaze as he seemed to be taking a measure of her. “If you stay, you have to mean it. Do you?”

Ashlynn’s response, only moments later, felt like it spanned an eon. Her nod only made the boys’ smile broaden, and it made Soren’s eyes gleam in a way she’d never seen before. It made her skin tingle and burn.

Oh… I’ve missed this. I’ve missed them… him…

“Well then… boys, are you going to bed? Or are you going to finish dinner? Ashlynn, are you hungry?” asked Soren.

“I could eat, but don’t go to any trouble,” stated Ashlynn. Soren nodded slowly and directed his attention to his younger brothers.

“Then you two need to go and find all of our silverware for her. It’s probably in your room. Go on. We’ll be here.” Dorian and Rey were off comically fast. If Soren didn’t know better, little puffs of smoke outlines were left behind as his brothers practically vaporized and sprinted off to their room.

The two were alone, and it didn’t take long for Soren to step up to the edge of the counter, arms folded across his broad chest as he bent over and made eye-contact with her. Ashlynn’s heart pounded and fluttered as she examined every micro-expression on Soren’s face.

“Took you long enough, little miss. Welcome home…” Ashlynn opened her mouth to say something, but words didn’t come to her, and they certainly wouldn’t now because in that moment Soren reached up with a single finger, kissed the tip, and pressed his finger to the side of her cheek. Her jaw went slack in disbelief, and still no words came to her, especially with the playful wink Soren gave as he stood once again to his full height.

Instantly burning up, Ashlynn averted her gaze in fear that Soren could see how hard she was blushing. If he noticed, he wasn’t saying anything. It was the return of Rey and Dorian that separated the two of them, and together they shared dinner as though not a day had passed between them.

Dinner passed and so did the events of the evening. For days, neither Soren nor Ashlynn discussed what happened on the kitchen counter, but that quickly became the past as little signs of affection presented themselves between the two.

It would take time, but all good things do….

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

And so this is how so many wonderful things began. Every story begins somewhere, and this is theirs. In another time… in another universe… in another story… things may have been different. Here and now? With this small and tall collection? Everything is as it should be.

Some belong together no matter what path they tread, and these two are no different.

What other adventures will they see I wonder…?

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Previous

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

A Tall and Small Collection | Original Story

[crimsonreveriie]

Chapter 1

Since I've had a few people ask for more detailed stories of how my friend could use me, I'll start a small series and write it from the POV of how it has already happened (but we all know I'm too nervous to actually ask him) 🫠

A few days ago, when I was texting my friend, Leo, I finally had the courage to reveal a fantasy of mine to him. I told my friend that I’d like him to take me in my sleep. He was a little amazed because he didn’t expect this from me. We had always flirted, and sometimes I would catch him staring at my ass, but he knows I’m very selective about who I’m with. Leo had asked me when and where, so I told him this Friday, Saturday, and Monday night, and that I would leave the back door unlocked. I made sure to tell him he had complete creative control of how he wanted to use me: bring one friend, or multiple, ropes, gags, masks, it was whatever he wanted to do... I told him that I was just a toy for his pleasure and entertainment during those nights. Since we had a few communication issues in the past, I made sure to tell him my limits, and with that, he carried on our previous conversation as if I didn't just ask him to do the foulest things he could think of to me...

Friday night came around, and I couldn't stop thinking about what my friend had come up with... had he even come up with anything? Leo didn't ask any other questions, or tell me what ideas he had in mind, let alone mention it. Maybe he would come around on Saturday or Monday night. Either way, I still wanted to go to bed, so I did my nightly routine: put on my comfiest oversized shirt with no panties, washed my face, brushed my teeth, made some tea, and watched a little TV. I was so tired and eventually dragged myself off the couch to my bed. Even though I was tired, I felt myself toss and turn with anticipation before I eventually fell asleep. I woke back up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling, I checked my phone and it was 3 AM. "Damn... maybe he wasn't going to come around tonight" I thought. I then heard a soft shifting noise in the corner of my room where I have my reading chair. I thought I noticed something, but maybe it was just my cat. Still, I turned on my flashlight and pointed it towards my chair... but there he was... waiting for me. He wore black cargo pants and belt, brown boots, a *very* tight black long sleeve, and a black mask. He remained quiet, stood up, and stalked over to me. Fear, excitement, and adrenaline rushed through my face and down to my lower abdomen, but something seemed off, this man standing over my bed and looking down at me didn't seem to have Leo's build... he didn't have his blue eyes or shorter height, he didn't look like him at all! My phone's flashlight was pointing right at his chest, and at this point true fear and adrenaline went straight to my stomach.

What. The. Fuck. Who is this man? Is he Leo's friend? Is this an actual intruder? Am I actually going to die? A million thoughts raced through my mind before I reacted. Before I had thought it, my body leapt out of my blankets and tried to get off my bed. My phone fell with the flashlight facing up, but the man firmly grabbed my arm, and made me lose balance on my legs. I shrieked as he sent me crashing down to my knees next to him on my bed. He had one arm wrapped around my waist, holding my arms behind my back, pressing my front against his chest, and the other gripping my face so I could only look up at him.

My face burned, and tears of terror pierced my eyes. He finally spoke, "You know... I have to thank you for your little invitation. Leo had mentioned that you gave permission for him to pass it along to a few friends. He actually wanted to stop by tonight but was busy, so here I am! Aren't you happy to see me?" A small weight lifted off my chest; he isn't an actual intruder, and I'm not going to die. However, I still didn't know this man, and I'm sure Leo told him that I would be "just a toy for his pleasure and entertainment during one of these nights." He continued talking to and mocking me. "What?... Cat got your tongue?... Expected to see Leo? Expected him to just fuck you and be done? In fact, he seems to have some fun plans for you, slut." I didn't know this man but I was feeling dazed, his wicked smile and words got to me. The way he forcefully holds me, I can feel every muscle tense in his body. I wanted to fight, but at the same time, I did want him to use me.

Several moments of heavy, tension-filled breaths happened before he lowered his arm to quickly scoop my knees out from underneath me and firmly push my neck down on the bed. “I’ll make sure I’m not too mean, I don’t want to wear you down the first night” he said with a vicious grin. My eyes widened, “the first night!?” I thought, but before my mind could keep wandering, he put his hands on my hips, sliding my shirt up, kissing, licking, and biting his way all over me. My breath was caught in my throat while he seemed to worship my body, taking his time. My mind went blank as he kept kissing and biting my thighs, stomach, breasts, and neck, I was melting and softening at his touch. A burst of reality shot through me when he brought his hands down to unbuckle his belt. I had almost forgotten there’s a complete stranger in my house, and he’s going to use me. 

He was caught off guard when I shoved his shoulders back, sat up, and tried to move off my bed. But he got to me before I could even put a foot on the ground. The man dragged me by the legs back to where I was, and fixed his waist to trap my hips while he pinned my wrists above my head with one hand. He stroked my thigh with his other hand saying, “Did you really think you could escape? I thought we were just starting to have fun! Plus, you’ll have to try harder if you want to get out of this, dear” 

Again, the man started to unbuckle his belt. Even though I wanted this, I couldn't help trying to get out of his harsh grip on me. I bucked my hips and tried to wiggle out of his grasp on my wrists, I was slowly becoming unraveled at his roughness. “Mhm, what a good girl, grinding against me like this... keep going,” his wicked grin returned. At last I finally said something, “fuck you.” He slapped me across the face then forced me to look at him, “I dare you to say that again....” My cheek stung, and I could feel the ache in my lower abdomen grow. He reached down to my pussy and started slowly rubbing my clit with barely any pressure, but just enough for another wave of heat to rush down me. I didn’t notice when he took his hand off my wrists to pull himself out of his pants until I felt his hardness press against me at my entrance. 

I looked down, finally realizing he was going to fuck me. My eyes widened as I gasped and protested, but secretly enjoyed the feeling of him sliding into me at an agonizingly slow pace. His hands found their place on my hips as he settled his thick, hard cock deep inside of me and I couldn’t help but let out a long moan. I could feel him rock and move slightly inside of me, which sent more shockwaves of pleasure through my body. He started quickening his pace, I could feel myself getting more wet, and a knot of an orgasm began forming in me. “You filthy fucking whore, I can already feel you tightening around me, your’re seriously going to cum so soon?... And to your intruder violating your body? Fucking slut, you don't get to cum tonight"

The man gripped my hips tighter and began slamming into me at a torturous rate. I started crying out at the pain and pleasure of him filling me up, it was starting to be too much. I reached down to start rubbing my clit but he grabbed both hands and pinned them above my head again. He pulled himself out and used his other hand to play with my tits, groping and pinching my nipples. "Did you not hear what I said? Don't even think about cumming, the only one that get to is me, cunt" Frustrated, I started whimpering and kicking my legs for him to just keep fucking me. “Shut the fuck up, whore.”

He kept his hand pinning my wrists down, he shoved himself back inside me, and covered my mouth with his free hand. I shrieked as he resumed his ruthless fast pace. I was a moaning mess, unable to cum without stimulation on my clit. I tried angling my hips better, but the returning knot in my stomach only intensified, never giving me my release. 

I felt the man continuing to slam himself into me again and again before he started to lose his own control, his pace faltering. I knew he was close and I didn’t just want to cum, I needed to cum. I tried pleading for release, even with him covering my mouth. “What did you say, cunt?” He took his hand off my mouth and went back to pinching my nipples again. I tightened around his cock at the sensation, weeping, my own orgasm so close, until he slammed so deep inside of me and stopped. He released himself, flooding me with his cum, I couldn't help squirming and bucking my hips at the heat. The man pulled himself out slowly, breath ragged, “what a pretty little slut, you were so good for me.” Again, he slapped my face and pulled it back to look at him, “you can leave your door locked tomorrow night, or not… either way it won’t matter.” 

The man released my face and walked out of my room, leaving me behind. My breaths uneven, my orgasm ruined, and his cum leaking out of me. I layed like that until I had the energy to pull my head up to my pillows, it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

[gothsuguru]

doing the heavy lifting in a convo can be so tiring omfg

[seilon]

please don’t by k.will did more for the gays back in 2012 than any boy group can possibly do with fan service and crop tops in 2024

[impostorsshow]

I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me

This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["

[tazzmanian-devil]

im so scared of the future. i dont know what im going to do with myself. i am not mentally capable of working enough hours to support myself without killing myself. i truly believe that if i lived alone i would burn my house down. i cant work jobs that require a lot of standing or interacting with others. i dont have the autism that makes me good with computers to do something online. i have no idea what im good for. i dont even draw well or often enough to do commissions, and i feel too guilty about not being in a difficult financial situation to even offer them.

i dont know how to apply for disability or what it would even grant me besides tax benefits. one of the questions on the website is for employment status, and the two options are employed and unemployed/seeking employment. i do not think i am capable of working a regular job, and i have no idea what IRregular jobs there might be. i tried reaching out to my school's employment coordinator, and her ONLY advice was to sell my work. i am trying!

maybe it would be different if i felt more direct and specific pressure of a problem to solve and less general pressure to do what im supposed to without knowing what that is. im living with my grandfather and aunt right now, so im not feeling housing pressure. my parents are paying for my education, so im not feeling pressure to pay that back. why do i need that? what is it for? what is my goal? i dont know. i have money from student loans in my bank account paying for my groceries.

i feel like a horse whose ass has been spanked. something is driving me forward, but i dont know what or which direction to run. i have no idea whats coming, and its horrible. i dont know what i want or what i should be doing next, except for 'get a job' which is such a vague instruction that its leaving me spinning my wheels.

i should get a job so i can live alone...but i dont want to live alone. i dont think i CAN live alone, unsupported. what is any of this for??? i start taking steps forward, and im haulted each time by myself asking why? why am i doing this? whats the point? what do i want from this? nothing? i want nothing? im only doing this to satisfy external pressures? then whats the point? cant i just watch movies all day instead? whats the point?

[gothteddiesdotcom]

not to post about someone who isn’t here anymore but I miss bbycnt so bad that’s my fucking friend right there she was the fucking best 😭

[eff-exor]

something smells like shit, and it ain’t me buddy

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinkbing about. him

[johndonneswife]

someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck

[manasurge]

.

[stabyou]

me when running away from everyone makes me end up all alone: