clown-demon

[clown-demon]

((Parents said I cannot quit until I secure another job. I have reached my breaking point and am having a severe depressive/suicidal episode which will likely last for a bit. Idk. I don't want to talk to anyone really. I don't want anyone to come into my dms saying all positive stuff.. I don't want to hear anything.. please leave me alone unless I talk to you first... thanks.

[clown-demon]

((I cannot take it anymore, tomorrow I'm putting my two weeks notice.

[clown-demon]

"You can! I know how you like to take pictures of everyone you care about!" they teased their dad a little. They liked it though.. That Dazai would take pictures of all his loved ones. His kids, the pets, and especially Nikolai.

They beamed happily for the pictures, and bounced on their heels as they stood next to Dazai to go into town and pick up a carrot cake.

"Do you think we can also grab a snack too? Like a bagel from that one cafe?" they asked Dazai with a tilt of their head.

He took Yumeno's hand and gave it a squeeze. "That looks good on you. Your Papa is great at what he does, as always. Do you mind if I take a picture?"

He wanted more pictures of the kids on his phone. But still, he was going to ask them first before taking one. Especially Yumeno.

Yumeno had grown up his whole life without getting the barest hint of respect. The least he could do was hand them some now.

[clown-demon]

"I do enjoy reading different variations of the Bible. Each one is different in so many ways. There is no official Bible, but there are many who believe theirs they have read is the official one. Bibles were pulled from translations of scrolls and books.. But of course, only so much can be shared about Hell in the Bibles. No living soul has actually gone to Hell themselves to come back and share about it. And in the Bible in an old translation, when 'Hell' is mentioned, it can be even taken as 'the grave' and not some sort of after life..."

Fyodor couldn't help but chuckle and wave his hand. "My apologies, I love this sort of talk and chatting about any sort of religion and books on it all-- I did not mean to go off on a tangent.. But yes, there probably is different verses where Satan and Lucifer are different entities from different translations. It's likely one I haven't gotten my hands on that share such things... Though the one I followed they were the same.. But I suppose I was proven that view is entirely wrong, being in Hell at this very moment."

Fyodor blinked and looked at the surroundings. He did not like the cold at all, actually hated it due to getting sick in the cold easily. But with the atmosphere surrounding the icy abode, it made it easier to handle the cold unlike being in a blizzard...

"That is quite impressive you are able to pull that off. I cannot imagine the power it takes to constantly keep you palace cold enough to withstand the winds of Hell. A constant magic supply..

"You are correct... Mortals can only pull so much information from a book of a place that in inaccessible to mortals. They can only make assumptions and guesses... Which is why the only info I had on demons were that of the books, and not actual experience from talking to one.. And I would not dare defy God and summon one to the living world..." But visiting Hell to speak to them was different in his books...

"That is a common misconception among humans, especially when one holy book originates from another and texts become mixed to the point that the narrative changes." While not overly familiar with the various holy scriptures of humans, he knew enough that he had to wonder how such leaps were made. Then again, his expertise was in the realm of mathematics, not humanities. "I believe there is one religion where the two entities are distinct, while in another they were conflated to being one and the same. That would explain why what you know contrasts with the reality of this realm.

"As for my abode, it is only possible by channelling my magic. The snow, ice and cold that you are seeing and experiencing come from my own power." And it took a lot to keep this up against the natural climate of hell, but if it was taxing and draining, he certainly didn't show it.

"Well, human literature, while profound, often lacks when it comes to realms not accessible to them." After all, a mortal could only go so far with their knowledge about affairs beyond their understanding, which is why demons such as himself were often summoned to provide that which was missing. For a price, of course.

[clown-demon]

((Got 21 drafts in the queue now, I have ALL the threads I am gonna reply to right away out (I think.) The rest will also go to the queue.

Gonna head to bed now. Night night.

[clown-demon]

Fyodor was aware or could assume, how Clarimonde was brought up. They new bits and pieces, but not the full tale. But with those scraps, he was able to piece together easily what had occurred in their past.

Nothing more than a cult made by demons, to spread false information on God. They were demons in disguised as God's children. That's how Fyodor pieced it. God loved ALL His children, even those who have sinned. As long as the sinner repented for those sins and believed in Him and His son, they would be loved by Him.

"That's not-- not what you think? What perhaps, you were raised to believe. God loves ALL his children, even those who have sinned. If one of His children is to repent for their sin, they will be welcomed to Heaven in the end. God weeps when His children stray onto a sinful path, because He loves them and does not want them to burn in Hell. That is how He is, He loves all His creations, His children. He never wants them to suffer-- no matter what it is they do in their life.

"Though I am not God, I am merely here to create a utopia, and to do that, there has to be a sacrifice for a greater good. While I do not like ability users due to their sinful nature-- I feel deep pity for them and I do not outright hate them as a person. They were once innocent souls. There is more to why I wish to eradicate ability users. To make sure another is not born... Often, a child with an ability is exploited for their ability and used in horrible ways and live a harsh upbringing... I do not wish for anyone to go through that as it has been happening... The only way to save an ability user from sin, is to kill them... So they may make it to Heaven and not live the awful life of sin.. Because as long as they repent for their sins-- they can make it to Heaven..."

It might be confusing to follow Fyodor's logic.. But the Russian knew what he wanted. A world free of ability. Destroying ability users would stop the cycle.. He never wanted anyone else to go through the harshness of having an ability... He never wanted anyone to go through what he has gone through, and many others...

When the other asked how long he knew, he chuckled softly and smiled softly. "Around the time I met you and had you join me, I knew you at least held a crush on me. And it only blossomed from there," Fyodor answered them.

The demon quirked a brow at their disbelief to his words. He knew that would be their reaction to his words. His deep violet eyes captured the chocolate gaze.

"Just be patient, Clarimonde. The hardest times are now, but once that is over, comes peace.. and that comes with a peaceful life.. And a good end.."

Truthfully, Fyodor planned nothing more than to go back to his home country and sleep.. That's all he wanted.. No marriage or anything, just sleep... He only gave the other hope, to make sure they remain in his control like a puppet.

But deep down, he felt a twinge of sympathy for the other and a desire to make sure they lived through all this... The way they were raised, the upbringing they had.. They were set on the wrong path of God, a false God... He did hope, to at least set them on the right path...

Clarimonde’s eyes shifted a bit as Fyodor explained what God’s plan actually entailed. How it differed from their dream vision. Was it their own sinful humanity that warped his divine message? The uncomfortable lump in their throat eased down gradually before being washed away as Fyodor explained the importance of his role, correction, both of their roles. God had heard Clarimonde’s prayers filled with painful struggles and answered by sending them to be one of the prophet's followers. One of his loyal servants. It was too greedy of them to wish for more. But a simple human such as themself couldn’t possibly be expected to always think or do the right thing either. 

Clarimonde looked at him with wide eyes. “Everyone is chosen. That’s not.” There was a tremble to their voice. It was hard to piece together what he told them when the elders and everyone else kept dividing people into chosen ones and sinners. Some people simply deserved to die while others would be his weapons to the great cleansing. 

At home it felt so simple. Now everything felt complicated since there was so much to learn. Everything wasn’t black and white. But Fyodor had offered a new role that felt new yet familiar. He wasn’t using violence or talking down to them. Clarimonde had never been allowed to speak freely about God or their own dreams. Mother always pushed aside the mentions of women becoming preachers. Fyodor listened to Clarimonde and took their words seriously. Their eyes teared up as he spoke about the weeds in God’s garden. Together they would remove what rot existed and give room for a new Eden. 

“We have to protect his beautiful garden…” They whispered while looking at him with a warm gaze. “And I don’t mind having blood covering my hands.” To be his sword was an honor Clarimonde willingly had chosen and if it ended in disaster they would not leave this path. There was

 nothing else worth living for anyway. His life was worth more than their own sorry excuse of existence. Childish dreams of marriage were not meant for someone like Clarimonde. The dream was about humans of tomorrow that would get blessed by God’s endless love. 

Their face became flush with a deep pink color as Fyodor responded. Oh no. “How long have you known?” It came out as awkward stuttering while Clarimonde began to tremble and tried to avoid eye contact. This strange fluttering grew stronger and they slowly backed away. 

This was awful. Nauseating.

He deserved someone better. Someone prettier. A petite woman with a perfect nose. Someone who had seen the world and gone to fancy schools. Not a person who had grown up in a clothes factory and witnessed ritualistic sacrifices. “I understand if you don’t want me.” They whimpered before finally realizing what he said. “What?” Clarimonde gasped as he suddenly held their cheek with one hand while leaning in. 

 His eyes had such an unusual color. A dark violet hue surrounding the pitch dark pupils that fixated on their own dark brown eyes. “Your eyes. Are like the northern lights…” Clarimonde could feel his warm breath while their own lips opened ever so slightly. “ If, I survive.”  There was a moment of silence before they spoke with a trembling voice. “I’ll be yours…”  @clown-demon

[clown-demon]

@aonokumura (cont)

"You know, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be upset about something, and it's okay if you need some help, even if it's as much as someone giving advice and or listening~," Nikolai told the other.

He leaned forward a bit towards him, lifting an index finger in the air, "I feel like you telling me you're tired is a bunch of hokey pockey~. We might be strangers but I'm a lil nosey clown and see you from time to time in the distance~."

[clown-demon]

"Some of the higher angels wanted to talk to me and see if I might be able to teach some of them of astrology and gardening.. that is all. Nothing nefarious or trouble causing. I told them I would be delighted," Stolas answered, sitting down next to the other to sip his own mug.

"Hmmm...I guess your right...why are you here exactly?"

Sips the cocoa, cautiously

[clown-demon]

This was starting to grow a bit.. worrisome how Cucumber's power was starting to lash out, and seem to get out of control the more the wizard thougth of this 'hero.' He thought it was best to lead the topic else where and NOT on the so called hero.. that wasn't a hero at all.. Just a maniac out for blood....

He could feel his curse start to trickle from the feeling of being in danger and how anxious he was, but he tried to control himself from shifting.. He didn't want to shift without EXPLAINING his curse...

A cough into his hand to try to regain composure from his anxiety from Cucumber's threatening power.. And trying to change the topic.

"Before anything else happens-- I should urgently tell you a bit about myself.. Well, I assume you know most of my legend. But I have something new within me-- A beast. I got my hands on a cursed tome, and it ended up cursing me. At times, I will transform into a horrid beast.. Sometimes I am a wild animal, other times I have my conscious there and a mind... But I can tend to shift at night randomly.. I do not know if it has to do with a cycle of the moon.. but also I know it reacts on my emotions.. When I am to transform..."

Legato didn't want to say outright he could feel something nagging at his mind, trying to take over, due to how Cucumber's powers flared up about the 'hero.' But he wanted to quickly get it explained and out of the way, so if a sudden transformation happened and he became a wild beast, it wouldn't be a major surprise...

"Worse.." Cucumber growled harshly, his hands sparking with wrathful embers. "He's obsessed with combat, enjoys the bloodshed and brutality like a sick creature. He uses the dead as his allies, ripping them from their peaceful slumber like a disgusting vulture." The venom he held in his voice was so potent, it's almost shocking that it didn't poison the count. His stomach twists at the memory of meeting him at the end of Spashmaster's defeat..

You're like my friends..

"I'm NOT." The power was growing more out of control, the very earth creaking and shaking at the volume of his voice. The air felt so cold, yet it burns at the edges of his fingertips.

Despite him growing.. calmer.. That cloak didn't shift back. It stayed in that villainous green. Threatening to wipe the whole Melody Kingdom off the face of Dreamside if pushed once more. "Just.. Don't go near him. I'll take care of that one."

[clown-demon]

Yumeno stood, hugging their doll, and silently listened to the adult spill his guts about his past. They didn't think if was any sob story or anything. They didn't find it silly at all if he was speaking his past to a child. It was obvious the past still haunted this man. And Yumeno did not mind at all, being an ear for him.

They weren't your typical child, they were never latched onto any sort of Ipad like kids these days were. They were a survivor, even when they were in the Port Mafia they took care of themselves, never really having anyone looking out for them. They'd wander, and that's what brought about a horrible time.. due to having no one look out after them.. Because they decided to play a game with the WRONG person....

"I am sorry my Papa hurt you, laughing at you when you tried to apologize.. My Papa is a clown, he's very silly and he doesn't take things seriously a lot. He likes to prank and mess with people. I tag along in his pranks a lot. But sometimes that's reality.. sometimes an apology WON'T be accepted... that's how people are.. Jus' 'cos you say sorry.. it doesn't always mean it will be accepted..."

At first when Dazai apologized, they did not accept it. They held what he had done to them for some time.. But after so much fatherly love Dazai had given them, it more than made up for his past deeds to the child... And Yumeno could tell, that what Dazai did to them, pained him more than them.. They could tell the pain on Dazai's expression when they shared their fear of darkness-- because it was Dazai that caused that fear in the first place, and knew it too...

"You say you aren't human and you're not demon. But that's where you're wrong, you're BOTH human and demon. You live in two different worlds, but sadly when you live in both those worlds, you are treated differently due to it. Because you cannot be in one or the other, you're stuck between 'em...

"And your Mama was a very good mother. She loved you even though people were meanies due to what you were.. But you know what? I bet she lived the happiest life ever having you as her son! It might have been cut short, but she got to be a loving mother to a loving son.. If she never had you, she would have never got to see that happiness, ever. She could have instead lived a very sad life not raising a child... You gave her purpose and experience a special bond NO ONE else can have! Don't think that you were the cause of her death, you were the cause of someone having the magic feeling of being a mother. If she didn't want it-- she would have abandoned you. Just like both of my siblings' parents did. They didn't want them, and they abandoned them on the streets. That mother's love she got to give was well worth it!"

"I'd say it's a miracle you're alive then! If half breeds are hunted like that. But you know how you say people hate you for what you are? I don't hate you. And I'm sure you'll find others too that don't. And you being what you are? REALLY filters out the jerks from honest people. If people wanna be your friend, they'll be your friend! 'Cos a LOT of people are two timing jerks, people who are two faced. People who will fake their feelings to get what they want. With what you are, you don't gotta go through that! If someone is nice, they wanna be your friend! I doubt you'll ever get fake friends due to what you are. Friends you make will be true friends!" they exclaimed to him.

That's what they thought at least. At least there was no fake being a friend but secretly hating. They've seen a lot of people do that....

"You're silly! Only way my Papa would do that is if you hurt me in any way. But you haven't. I like talking to you! You're like a big big bro! And you CANNOT leave until I get your name! Mine is Yumeno Osamu. My ability is Dogra Magra, anyone who hurts me, even the TINIEST amount, I can make them go insane and mind control them through hallucinations! Now what's your name, mister?"

This child was being really open. About everything. To a total stranger adult. And while it was obvious what they could do, they were still a child. He didn't know what to think, not so much because of what was said. But how could a child who went through those things be so trusting of a total stranger with this information? The idea that this sweet, kind child was locked away for so long, because of being used out of their control.

It was a pain to think about. No child should go through that isolation. But he went through it too, the only difference being the lack of a pitch black room. Instead he had things constantly trying to kill him, no matter where we went. But if Yumena was going to be so honest and open, he felt as though he could do the same. Couldn't even figure out why the hell he felt it, but he felt it.

"...Nah. I wouldn't hold it against him. I've had more than my fair share of experiences with humans. Someone like you probably scared him, probably thought he was doin' the right thing, even though he wasn't. Sometimes I forget humans can change, but I know they can. All that really matters is yer safe now. Good 'n bad, 'm not really sure it's as black and white as humans make it out ta be. But yer safe, yer happy, 'n the stuff that makes ya so different are things yer proud of. 'S enough for me to forgive him, and he ain't even owed my forgiveness. All that maters 's that he realized it wasn't right, 'n he changed it. Past is the past, no changin' it. I don't even know his name. He don't know I exist, unless yer papa laughed to him about me the way he did when he called me out on what I did wrong. I ain't sayin' I didn't deserve what I got. But it hurt. I can still remember him laughin' at me when I tried ta apologize."

That was more a slip of the tongue. He was well aware that his own feelings didn't really matter in the grand scheme, he didn't mean to mention that it hurt him. But there was also something this child didn't seem to be understanding. Every single person they were talking about, they were humans.

"...But 's different for me. I'm not a human, I'm not a demon, and I'm not a kid, either. No matter what happens, I'm not gonna get the chance for a childhood like yers. Demons don't change so easily, most don't change at all. Their minds don't work the same. I'm an adult, been one for centuries. A demon's body stops agin' when they reach adulthood. Even though I'm only half, it still applies to me."

Ugh. Why is he even spilling his guts out to a kid? Even weirder, why does he feel like this kid is actually going to listen?

"Ya mentioned what happened to ya was 'cause of whatcha did. Bein' used, but it was whatcha did. When I was your age, I wasn't dangerous at all. No one would talk ta me, the kids my age wouldn't play with me. I didn't do anything, but half breeds like me, let's just say it ain't such a kind world. I wasn't allowed to go shoppin' with my mother, 'cause the time she did bring me, they wouldn't let her buy anything. Not unless she came without her 'half breed abomination' of a son. She loved me. When I cried, she was crying too, it hurt her so much when I hurt. But she suffered worse than me, and it was all 'cause I was her son. All that, and she still refused to show me any less love than a loving parent. She took what people said ta her, and still smiled, and played with me. Always found a way to make sure we had food.

She did everything, and they still killed her. Because of me. Was just a little kid, 'n it was still my fault, 'cause I'm just some stupid half breed. A stupid half breed, and she still showed me all the love in the world. We're rare, 'cause everything wants ta kill us. I've met one who made it into adulthood too. 'N I know from experience, most of 'em die before they're even teenagers. 'S just what life is for us. If I believed in miracles, I'd call it a miracle I'm alive. It doesn't matter what I do, 'n it wouldn't matter if I was the nicest person in the world. Everyone's still gonna look at me and assume I'm a crime just for bein' alive, without me even talkin' to 'em. Ain't nothin' gonna change it."

There was still so much to all of it, but that was enough. This was was a child. And now he felt even more stupid for talking about all of it. A kid shouldn't be burdened with that kind of information, especially about someone like himself. With a heavy sigh, he shook his head.

"Not that you, or anyone else needs ta hear some stupid sob story from me. Just thought it'd be fair ta be honest with ya, 'cause you were with me. So don't go gettin' the wrong idea. Doesn't change what I am, 'n it doesn't change the way I acted ta yer papa. He'd probably magic me away or somethin' if he found out I was talkin' to ya at all, so I really do need ta get goin'. 'S long as ya grow up happy, that's enough for me."

[clown-demon]

"Then you get it! There is too many mean people in the world. Too much cruelty. So I try to counter it with niceness and helping others! I really don't know why people find it such a challenge to be nice.. It's really easy-- and it feels nice too!" N didn't understand how people can be so mean. V was at least nicer about it and more cool, it was J who did most of the rude remarks towards him...

"I can also tell you're pretty cool and nice too! So it's perfect to have you as a roommate! It'll be really cool! Like-- having someone over and having late night talking and watch B-rated movies and eat popcorn! I love making commentary during movies-- it's fun!"

The drone was really looking forward to finally having a roommate. It was on his list of things to do. He just hadn't found someone to fill that spot until now.

"C'mon lemme show you my apartment! It's actually pretty close to town. My land lord is pretty nice too. He's fine with me having anyone I want over. He's pretty chillax."

Kokoro manages to completely dry her eyes and face before turning back to him with an awkward but apologetic look. She feels bad for suddenly crying in front of him like that. She understands if N would be feeling just as awkward as she is over it. Her expression soon changed though into looking upset upon hearing that he was harassed by his coworkers over his kindness.

"Good that you didn't take their awful words to heart. I don't know if anyone told you this before but your level of kindness is beyond rare anymore... Finding someone like you is like finding a needle in space..."

Despite just meeting him she is already greatly respecting N as an individual. Her expression really softened upon hearing the rest of what he had to say. After truly giving it more thought she silently nods in agreement to both the offer and the question of it making sense.

[clown-demon]

It seemed they were getting somewhere. With Lucen's offer, it would show they weren't here to cause harm or any trouble. Nikolai was glad he encountered them, because it seemed to be a way to earn their trust.

The man shook his head, "N-No, we're not coming out of this room. You come inside," the man stuttered and moved inside.

Nikolai turned his head to look at his companion, he gave them a nod and then went into the room. All eyes were on him and the healer. He noted one of the men in the group had a knife at hand but concealed. He did nothing to bring attention to it, but kept an eye on that man, keeping him in his sights on his good eye's side.

The leader of the group who had greeted them, gestured to a younger, probably a teenager nearing adulthood, sitting on the floor with a single cut on his arm. It looked fresh, and Nikolai only assumed they got it from breaking glass to get inside the shop.

"Here he is.. he needs to be healed.. Y-you said you would...." the man told the other.

Nikolai gave another nod to his newest friend, but kept close to them for protection and to make them feel more at ease. They were both surrounded by a group, which could make one a little uneasy.

Nikolai showed no sort of anxiety or anything being surrounded. He held his head high and only radiated a strong energy of joy. A smile on his lips as he would look around the room, not once showing any shred of fear or uneasiness.

Lucen felt just as tense, not wanting to scare this man and the other away. Though they were impressed by Nikolai's persuasion skills! on their own it probably wouldn't have worked out that well. They perked up at the mention of injured people after all.

Finally something they could be useful for! Especially seeing how nervous the man was. That alone made them want to help. As if there was no other purpose in their life right now.

" Of course! I'll make sure to take care of them! Just bring me to them and they'll be healed in no time! "

After all, taking someone else's pain and making it their own was the fastest way to heal someone's wounds. It definitely would show that neither of them were here to cause trouble!

[clown-demon]

@abevyofmuses

Pitou was very aware that there was much life in the seas of the planet Earth. It's where the Chimera Ant Queen feasted at times. While they weren't born from sea life, they did have siblings that were.. Though being on Earth and being the only Chimera Ant here, they had no living ones...

Very crouched at the ocean, waves lapping at their feet. The cool water didn't bother them at all. Their tail was waving behind them with curiosity. Maybe they could catch a fish to eat.. That WAS their favorite meal....

Golden eyes locked onto ripples that were forming deeper down, away from the shore. They watched intently...

[clown-demon]

((Working on starters, then threads. Won't be on Disco or anywhere else really until they are doooone.

[clown-demon]

((Once I FINALLY make my food (it took 2-3 hours to make, and over an extra hour for the oil to cool after being heated to clean it. It smelled really foul after heated up.) I am gonna sit and work through drafts and starters.

As mentioned a LOT are going to my queue, not all, but many.

[clown-demon]

Dazai just got destroyed there

"You know, some ranking systems that go like that, one might be the absolute best and highest rank~. And 100 would be the lowest~. He is NUMBER ONE in attractiveness I am going with that~. That is why the attractive rank, ranked him as number 1~."

[clown-demon]

How adorable are you?

Nikolai is 5000% adorable. Oh my god, I need to snug you.

"I AM a cutie patootie~!"