#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff

[chirpsythismorning]

Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?

[vrystalius]

hello! your halloween event sounds super cute, can i please request going trick-or-treating with gyutaro shabana? 🩷🩷 love your work and really admire you as a person and a writer, please take care!

Trick or Treating with Gyutaro.

The only day of the year where he can feel a little more confident in his own skin.

Pairing: Gyutaro x gn!reader

Gyutaro was staring at you while you were leaning closer towards your mirror, trying to paint the birthmarks of his perfectly onto your face. You wanted to match with him while going out to trick or treat, much to his surprise. He thought you might be ashamed to go out with him or go out with Daki. But after asking his sister if she’d like to go out, she bashed him for treating her like a child. He beat himself up for upsetting his sister like that, so you suggested you two could go together! Gyutaro looks a scary and special, like a really cool costume! What he would’ve taken as an insult any other day was now perceived as a compliment. The excitement especially started bubbling up in his stomach while watching you try to match him so badly. You spend hours trying to mix up the correct foundation colour on his palm until you finally managed to kind of recreate his skin colour.

After an hour of work, you and your boyfriend were finally matching! Although your posture and body type is not exactly the same, the resemblance was still there. Now all you two have to do is wait until the sun goes down and he is finally able to leave to house. But until then, Gyutaro has gotten awfully cuddly. He didn’t bother to explain why the sudden affection because you were to distracted trying to shield your face to not smudge your make-up. He couldn’t stop staring at the black spots and markings you copied. They made him feel like you two were bonded now, like soulmates. You had a piece of him marked on you now, even if it is just temporary and supposed to be a scary costume, it still made him feel all warm and fuzzy how hard you were trying to imitate his marks.

After night finally came, Gyutaro kept snickering and laughing at the sad excuses of costumes some random kids put together. Your boyfriend also found immense joy in scaring toddlers. He straightened his back to make himself even taller and would flash his teeth, giggling and silently showing off his sharp nails. Those poor kids ran back to their mother or to wherever they came from. Why are there even kids in the entertainment district?

You were a little envious at how much candy Gyutaro was scoring. His success was either because people found him to have a very convincing costume (with his waist looking so inhumane and his skin looking so sickly all over his body), or because he was silently threatening the home owners to hand over all of their remaining sweets. That way you can enjoy the most amount and no other stupid kids can eat them. Maybe you can hand out some candy in Daki’s brothel if you don’t want to keep the multiple buckets of candy. Gyutaro saw how little candy you were getting in comparison to him and proceeded to slip some over into your bucket everytime you’re not paying attention. It was making him happy seeing your eyes lit up when glancing into the bucket and finally noticing how your amount increased by a lot. That last guy sure gave you a lot of candy, huh? Or at least that’s what your boyfriend made you think to keep you happy.

“Here, t-take my stuff. I can’t eat it anyway… B-But can I watch you sort it through though? I wanna s-see what kinda candy I can get ya for the f-future…”

I’m going to be real with you, one of my closest friends has the EXACT same pfp as you, and when I saw the notification that you started following me, I thought you were her 😭 I was really confused and scared for a day or two XD (my friends aren’t aware of this blog yet). Also, don’t be shy to send in some requests for this event! <33

Anyways, I love Gyutaro, but also EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!

Take care of yourselves <3

Here’s my event masterlist 🎃

Here’s my Trick or Treat event 🎃

[alaskan-wallflower]

Fluffy holiday headcanons? Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, any holiday you’d like ❤️🎞️

Oh I got you! I’ll do as many holidays as I can think of (including birthdays-this is gonna be an uber long post but i’ll organize it by months

January

Darry’s birthday

Those two will wake Darry up by jumping on his bed because there just SO damn excited (they used to do this as kids more so than now because they realize Darry needs to sleep-

They convinced Dally and Two Bit to dig up info on Darry’s boss so they could blackmail him into giving Darry the day off with pay 💀

They purposefully turn his alarm off in the middle of the night and then he freaks out because he overslept and Pony/Soda has to calm him down by telling him what they did (he was a mix of concerned, a bit angry and lowkey impressed

They don’t let Darry do anything on his birthday like the will straight up shove him into his chair and push a newspaper at him while they do all the chores that day

They deep cleaned the house while he was sleeping (they even snuck into his room and dusted everything and polished all his trophies (They were so super careful with those)

Speaking of trophies, side headcanon that Darry pawned away his football trophies and uniform to make more money because money was uber tight around this time and Soda/Pony made Dally break in and get (steal) them back (Dally went to jail and he was very mad)

Darry bawled and didn’t even care at that point he was so grateful

Soda and Pony have to buy a cake because they almost burned the house down trying to make one (Soda got distracted and left the cake in the oven for so long it caught fire and Pony forgot about it-

They don’t let Darry leave the house tho (they also don’t tell him Soda got a speeding ticket)

They literally tried to make like a five course meal but at that point they just ended up making a bunch of random appetizers and some tacos or something-Darry didn’t care tho he was honored

Pony in the future takes up two jobs (he waits tables with Johnny and works at the library) and him and Soda save up to buy him whatever they can that they think he’d like

Its mostly a bunch of stuff from his favorite football team and they buy him new work boots

They also bought him a chinchilla once (Darry loves chinchillas tell me otherwise) and Darry was just so happy

They insist on cuddling with him that night and at that point he feels so spoiled but he can’t even say no 😭

They all end up snuggled in his bed with Darry in the middle-he’s genuinely so happy and it’s one of the only days he looks forward to

February

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day is not just for romance! It’s about spreading love to everyone you love including friends and family

The three Curtises definitely leave little things in each others rooms like they’ll scatter those chocolate hearts in each others rooms-Pony does it when Darry and Soda are at work, Soda does it at night when Darry and Pony are sleeping and Darry does it right before he leaves in the morning for work

They all end up buying one gift for each other-it’s never really a “big” gift but it’s something to show they love each other

Soda and Darry both get Pony books-Darry even saved up to buy Pony a little polaroid camera and Pony’s side of the room is littered with pictures of him and Johnny and him with the gang and just sunset pictures. It makes Soda and Darry so happy to see

Pony and Darry get Soda those giant chocolate things 😭 They know bro is absolutely food motivated but then he ends up eating the whole thing in one sitting and getting sick-they also get him stupid little toys they find. Soda would love those stretchy guys the dentist gives you as a kid He also likes fidgeting so they get him little fidget toys (him and Steve goof off at work with them and have gotten them confiscated 😔)They get him a lot of horse themed things too!

Pony and Soda get Darry little football figurines and stuff-one time they actually managed to scrape together the cash to get him tickets to go see a game-they could only buy one tho but Darry had the time of his life and actually looked his age for once when he came back.

Soda makes cringy little “roses are red violets are blue i think you’re great and I love you” type poems and writes them on hearts and hides them around the house for his brothers

Pony writes both of his brothers a very personalized poem-it’s so complex and honestly Soda and Darry are both uber impressed with his writing skills

Darry leaves little doodles around the house of things he laments on them doing as kids-he sketches one picture before bed every night (not even just on Valentine’s Day but as a coping mechanism as well) and the whole month of February he straight up draws the most beautiful pictures of them hugging and them as kids-Soda and Pony keep them in a drawer. Darry found said drawer and almost cried because he didn’t think anyone saw them or kept them

Every year they do a little tribute to their parents because they loved them-they’ll put a heart shaped piece of paper on their bed and a few roses and daffodils in their bedroom

They all eat little candy hearts in Darry’s bed before falling asleep

March

St. Patrick’s Day

Okay so this is more so when they were younger because I feel like St. Patrick’s Day is more so a holiday for kids but still-

Soda makes green pancakes. He makes a bunch of green food and even dyes their milk green (he also dyes the toilet water green)

Dont let him have any food dye

I feel like the three boys used to set up Leprechaun traps a lot and Mr/Mrs Curtis would buy those little gold chocolate coins and scatter them around to make it look like a Leprechaun was actually in the house lol-they also wrote some note like “better luck next year!” In shitty green marker and Pony used to get so mad-he literally guarded the traps all night because he was determined to catch one but he fell asleep and had to be carried to bed 😭

Even when Darry grew out of believing in Leprechauns he never told Soda and Pony and always helped them make traps

I feel like the first one after their parents death was really sad so Darry just coerced Pony into making more Leprechauns traps (which he begrudgingly does because “I’m thirteen now I know it was just mom and dad” but Darry spent all night doing what his parents did just to make Pony smile. He never tells Pony (Pony probably knows it’s Darry but it still made him cry)

I feel like Soda helped out but he insisted on making it ‘more mischievous’ so he put green handprints and footprints on the ground and Darry FREAKED OUT when he saw 😭 literally took Soda outside and was like “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS” (he didn’t care much he just didn’t want the floors and sinks to be ruined 💀)

They definitely but those little chocolate coins and just spend the whole day eating them. Soda and Darry sneak some into Pony’s lunch and Soda and Pony do the same with Darry and Pony and Darry do the same with Soda <3

I don’t have much since St. Patrick’s day isn’t very like….popular? But I feel like Soda would wear a Leprechaun hat (he pulls it off somehow. Fuck him fr)

Darry lets Soda dye the food green but half the time it just turns the food diarrhea colored because he tried to dye meat

April

Easter

similarly to St. Patrick’s Day I feel like this is also a holiday more for kids (I mean without the religious aspect of course) but the Curtis boys (Soda mainly) LOVE dyeing and decorating eggs

Pony cannot stand the smell of vinegar tho so it’s hard for him (he uses a clothespin to keep his nose shut, dumbass) but he loves doing it too

I feel like Darry would be super simplistic. He dyes his eggs one or two colors and lets it dry before doing the most articulate sharpie art on the eggs. Like it’s this mosaic type shit in Sharpie and Pony and Soda are so impressed

Soda’s are always like-every color they can be and then some because he uses colorful markers on them. If a rainbow threw up on an egg that’s what Soda’s would look like. He also loves putting googly eyes on them and he even makes little paper hats for his and uses pipe cleaners to make arms and legs 😭

Pony’s actually look so beautiful. He loves the warm colors and likes to make his look like scenery. Like he’ll dye his eggs sunset colors and then use markers to paint mountains and trees and whatever else. Darry and Pony are super artistic-Soda just likes making his look like what he enjoys and his brothers have no problem with it

They line the eggs up around the house so that it feels more holiday like

All three Curtis brothers are suckers for candy and chocolate (obviously) so they spend their grocery budget that week on chocolate bunnies and peeps (Soda is the only one who likes them but they buy them for him)

Pony and Soda have both given themselves stomachaches and Darry has to take care of them 😭

I feel like the Curtis parents used to buy like fake bunny feet prints and would put them around the house when they were kids

They definitely have Easter egg hunts. They do these with the whole gang (Dally never finds any, he just sneaks behind people and takes theirs from their baskets)

Theres never a prize or anything because Darry’s the one who hides them so he doesn’t really participate but they combine all the candy from the eggs and they just sit on the floor and devour the candy

Darry buys a ham. All three Curtises LOVE ham but they never really have enough money to buy one often so you better believe these three boys are eating the whole entire thing and not leaving leftovers

Darry makes mac and cheese too (someone said he was a mac and cheese guy. I love that) and it’s a fun night for all of them

Theyre all like way too full in the end but nobody really minds much. They enjoy nights where they can pig out a bit lol

July

July 4th

ohhhhh boy

These boys LOVE July 4th (Especially Soda)

The whole gang goes down to a lake for the day to just chill out for a bit

Darry brings hot dogs and hamburgers and the gang fucks with them so hard, they all love barbecue

They also love Sparklers (especially Pony because Ponyboy is a wee bit of a pyromaniac

Soda always gets scared by them when they light up because it takes a minute and he always throws it right over Darry’s head. He almost made him catch fire like more than once

“Sorry Dar I got scared 😨” “It’s fine” he says while patting the small fire out of his hair

Pony likes writing on trees with the burnt ends of the sparkler. He thinks it makes him tuff (loser)

I feel like they either bring down hot dogs and hamburgers or they just buy like five pounds of steak

Likley the latter because they are pure carnivores

Dally buys illegal fireworks but Darry actually does have a license so he shoots them off by the lake (they all go diving for the pieces of the fireworks after-they make it a game)

I feel like Soda would buy those obnoxious Uncle Sam hats but I’m not sure if he’d pull that one off (sorry Soda)

They spend most of the day in the lake-all three brothers love swimming. Soda loves doing those weird dolphin dives into the water but whenever he comes up from the water he’s like…glistening. Darry likes anything that can show off his strength so he loves to swim. Pony gets tired kinda easily in the water because he goes HARD in the water and then like fifteem minutes later he’s clinging to Darry’s back

Swimming definitely makes them all hungry as fuck too so they end up somehow devouring all five pounds of steak

Soda goes into the water again but ends up crawling back because he got cramps

The lake is also right by the west side so they like to just sit back with each other and watch the fireworks from the lake

They throw the scraps back on the west side tho because they hate that they just leave their litter there

One of them definitely gets bit by like a snapping turtle or something

I feel like 4th of July isn’t really a holiday to them, more so a day they can go to the lake and pig out on steaks lol

Pony’s birthday

I feel like Pony doesn’t really like his birthday because his fourteenth and fifteenth birthdays must have been super hard for him (plus it’s around the time the book events happen and it just makes him depressed)

But Darry and Soda do anything they can to make him happy-Darry skips work for the day and Soda does too

Darry lets him sleep in (usually he has Pint wake up at 8 or 9 on weekends so he’s on some sort of sleep schedule but he’ll cut him slack on his birthday)

I feel like the two of them stay up super late decorating the house for him too-they tie balloons to his seat and they have little homemade banners (they do this for all the Curtises birthdays) and Pony gets so surprised every time because he thinks he’s too old for it-

Soda even made cupcakes (i headcanon Soda as a good baker-I know in the book Pony said he liked Darry’s cakes better because Soda puts too much sugar in the icing but I feel like that’s just because Soda likes it super sweet) but he knows Pony doesn’t like it too sweet so he’s careful with how much sugar he puts in

Darry brings Pony a cupcake when he wakes up (after Soda starts calling for Darry like “can you get him a cupcake I don’t wanna get up :(“ but they both sit with him as he sleepily eats the cupcake and is like “thanks guys” while snuggling into them as a thank you 😭 they better not say anything tho because if they do he stops immediately and is like “I ain’t a baby quit babying me i’m fifteen now not four 😡😡”

They seriously just let him do what he wants all day-if he wants to read with them they do that. If he wants to show them a movie or go to the drive in, they do that (and if he wants to bring Johnny or Two Bit they pick them up if they’re up for going. If he wants to just lay down for a bit they’re snuggling him together

Darry definitely brings them all to Dairy Queen for lunch and spoils the hell out of Pony-he gets him one of those ice cream things (Blizzards? Is that what they’re called?) and makes sure he gets the biggest one there and he lets Pony get jowever much food he wants-Pony has eyes bigger than his stomach tho and ends up needing to lay down for a bit lmao

But in the end they take him to the pool at the Y to help work his appetite back because Darry always makes Pony’s favorite meal for dinner (he had a feeling Ponybwould end up feeling like shit so they take him out early in the morning so he has time to digest it all lmao) but anyway, he loves swimming SO much and gets so excited whenever they go to the pool

He likes laying on his back and just floating for a bit until he bumps into Darry who just stares down at him and laughs-Soda also pushes on his stomach/chest and shoves him under and Pony’s just like “hey 😡😡” he doesn’t actually care though he just jumps on Soda’s back and they start wrestling while Darry just watches

They’re there for basically the whole day and they’re all hungry in the end so while Pony and Soda are washing off Darry is making steaks for Pony’s birthday (Pony LOVES barbecue)

After dinner they let him open his gifts and he’s so grateful for all of them-he actually gets really nice gifts-he got a bunch of camera film for his polaroid (polaroids were invented in 1948 so i’m safe), they get him a bunch of books from his favorite authors (which Pony stays up all night reading) and they get him some art supplies because it’s a healthy way he copes with his trauma and they’re more than happy to support him!

They then go in Darry’s pickup truck and Dary lets Soda/Pong sit in the back (like in th cart the truck drags along) and he just goes for a long drive while the sun sets and Ponybid SO happy-he gets happier when Darry tells him he looks tuff with his wind blown hair too

They end the night with chocolate cake with sprinkles inside and by cuddling, Pony in the middle and Soda/Darry just holding him 💜

October

Soda’s birthday

Soda LOVES his birthday because he loves the attention 😭 He’s so happy when he realizes the day is all about him-

Pony and Darry go CRAZY decorating because Soda literally walks downstairs and acts like he’s witnessing the greatest thing ever-he looks like a kid in a candy shop and he literally puts his brothers in a BONE crushing hug and he flat out starts crying 😭😭

Steve takes Soda’s shift for him because he’s nice like that on occasion (but Soda you owe me in April when it’s my birthday 😡😡”) so Soda can just stay home all day

Darry stays home from work too and depending on what Pony is doing in school he’ll let him kiss the day if he doesn’t have tests or anything (Pony lies a lot unless it’s a class he doesn’t wanna make the test up for)

Soda is just so happy and he makes Pony cuddle him for a few extra moments and Pony doesn’t mind until he’s like “Soda I need to pee” “Just go here I don’t wanna let go :(“ “NO”

Pony goes back because Soda starts fake crying lmao

They get him out of bed and they prepare themselves to match Soda’s energy for the day because he just really loves that his birthday is in fall and he loves doing all the fall things on his birthday (apple/pumpkin picking, playing around in the leaves, that sort of thing

Soda loves apple picking evacuee he can climb up the trees and just get the apples from the top-plus they’re his favorite fruit but Darry has to keep being like “Soda save room for dinner” but Soda doesn’t care lol

He loves going on hay rides at the pumpkin patches, he doesn’t care he’s turning 17 or 18, he’ll be giggling like a kid and like “LOOK AT THE HORSES!” (the horses wee pulling the hay barrel)

They take him to the petting zoo too but it backfires when he got emotionally attached to one of the lambs :(

They let him stay however long he wants and he’s just so happy because one of the lambs curled on his lap and fell asleep and he was just like “😮🥹” like bro was so close to crying-

He got a bit distracted by the horses too and Darry bought food for him to feed them-Soda has a way with animals and probably accidentally made several kids cry because they wouldn’t leave Soda alone and kept ignoring the kids/Darry didn’t have the heart to pull him away tho

When they get home Darry makes beef stew because Soda LOVES beef stew-Soda loves hearty fall foods.

He’s learned to make two pots because Soda straight up will eat all of it and leave nothing for anyone else lol

After they eat they give Soda gifts-he insists he doesn’t want anything but he also doesn’t protest being spoiled a bit lol

They get him a bunch of things he can build-he’s super good at what he does with cars and he really loves building things and taking things apart, so they get him like…3d puzzles and figurines he can build and he absolutely loves it and is so so happy <3

They know Soda loves his snuggles so Ponyboy will lay on top of him and Darry just envelopes him in this tight bone crushing hug-many happy tears are shed

Halloween

The Curtises honestly don’t do much for Halloween (except Soda, Soda LOVES Halloween and dressing up

Him and Steve dress up to go to work-Soda usually goes fully dressed as a zombie and Steve a werewolf (he even has a mask and a tail)-Soda’s able to charm his bosses into not being mad though and they actually manage to pull it off and they have good sales because people think it’s funny

I feel like Pony and Darry aren’t as into it-Pony doesn’t go trick or treating because “it’s for kids” so he usually hangs out with Dally and Johnny for the night and dresses like Paul Newman (of course he does-he actually pulls it off tho) Johnny probably just wears all black and Dally buys a scream mask and waits in bushes for kids to come out and they just steal the kids candy after they drop it because Dally is a dick and scares them 😭

Darry hands out candy and actually kinda gets into it because he’s super good with kids-he puts on a flannel and is just like “fine I’m Paul Bunyan”-he loves handing out candy tho and he’ll be super swwwgblike “oh wow that’s a scary ghost costume, you almost scared the life outta me!” like he just plays into it and he really does enjoy

Steve, Soda and Two Bit go trick or treating and of course Soda has his natural charm and girls bring him candy at work that day lol-Darry deals with similar stuff but he roofs this super sweet old lady’s home and she’s like “oh we don’t get kids often…do you want some candy young man?” and he’s like…trying to refuse but she keeps insisting and he eventually gives in 😭

So that night Darry comes home from work with a bag of candy and the leftover candy from handing it out, Pony comes beck with candy Dally gave him after he jumped kids for it and Soda brings back the mother load of candy

The three of them just eat candy together and watch scary movies (not really scary-think like Lifetime horror movies)

Pony likes chocolates, Sosa loves sour stuff and Darey enjoys just about anything, but he’s a sucker for chocolates with stuff inside (like Reese’s cups/Milky Ways)

One of them (all three of them) end up with stomachaches but it’s all good and they have a good night

November

Thanksgiving

The whole gang LOVES Thanksgiving

They used to do things before the holiday-every day in November they have the whole gang write something they’re thankful for and they put it in a jar to read at the table

Pony makes it heartfelt like “I’m grateful for my brothers and all they do for me”-Darry is the same way but after the book he gets really specific like “I’m thankful that Ponyboy is here with me and supports me after work” “I’m thankful for Sodapop and his endless snuggles even if it seems like I don’t want it”-Soda is kinda hit or miss, sometimes he’ll put something in but sometimes it’ll be like “I’m thankful for cheese puffs” and they’re like “Soda really 😒”

Everyone thinks Darry would cook everything by himself but I think that only happens after Pony insists on making the turkey and Darry’s like “Okay but you have to gut it” and Pony’s like “fine” but he takes one look inside and throws up and Soda kept sneaking food and then got sick because he ate raw turkey

Soda got banned and Pony refused to go back in

They all make the stuffing together tho and it turns into a bit of a food fight lol-they’re all laughing and having fun

They invite the gang over and Dally gets so mad that Darry makes them do the whole “what are you thankful for” ritual and eventually just literally reaches over the table and grabs a drumstick and eats it and Darry’s so done

They have to kinda coax Johnny into eating sometimes because he doesn’t wanna be seen as greedy but a few bites later and it’s so good he can’t resist anymore and just devours half a turkey by himself

Pony stocks up on rolls and mashed potatoes-he loves turkey too but he will eat an entire pound of mashed potatoes by himself and he has

They’re all lowkey gross at the table like Dally literally just burps so fucking loud because he has to announce to everyone that he’s finished and Darry is just so done with him lmao

In the end they all just drag themselves to the couch-there’s literally no leftovers either that’s how much they eat. They’re seven teenage boys lol

Darry likes watching football but even then he’s so sluggish and full he can’t even focus on it lol

They all have a gigantic cuddle pile and they’re all whining about how full they are, it’s so sad

Johnny is not used to being full at all and he’s so embarrassed because he ate SO much and everyone is teasing him and Pony specifically because they’re so small but they packed away the most and Johnny ends up with super bad hiccups and that just leads to more teasing and he’s just like “shut up guys”

Theyre gross so they probably end up having annual burping contests. Johnny is of course undefeated and Dally storms off to god knows where after

When everyone leaves the Curtises are so full they can’t even go upstairs so they just lay on the couch and it’s so bad that it takes the next day to fully digest it all too 😭

This is probably their favorite or second favorite holiday.

December

Christmas

Their favorite holiday is Christmas honestly

They absolutely LOVE the preparation beforehand of baking Christmas cookies and putting up a little tree with decorations

They can’t really buy a tree but they have this fake tree that they have put up every year since Darry was a baby-it’s still somehow in tact

Mr. and Mrs. Curtis didn’t have a lot of money so they made a star out of cinnamon sticks that they used instead

The Curtises cherish that star and put two angels right next to it too to symbolize they haven’t forgotten their parents or their traditions

Additionally I feel like Mr. Curtis was the one who made the cookies with the boys while Mrs. Curtis would decorate

As kids they would take turns making a cookie, like Darry would help make oatmeal raisin or something, Soda would make snickerdoodles and Pony would make sugar cookies, they would just alternate like that

But now that their parent are dead they all just do it together

Soda gets banned because he keeps stealing dough (They’re all guilty of this tho, even Darry)

They all end up eating too much and Pony and Soda are SO whiny- “Darryyyyy why did you let us eat that much..?” “You’re the one who kept sneaking it!”

They actually end up pretty good in the end and give them out to the gang

Darry’s an oatmeal raisin kind of guy-Soda likes snickerdoodles, Pony likes sugar cookies, Johnny likes chocolate chip, Dally likes those cookies with jelly in the middle, Teo Bit is the kind of menace to love those frosted ones and Steve likes those half chocolate half vanilla ones with the hershey kiss in the middle so they make a lot of those and the whole gang is there on Christmas day just eating the cookies and watching shitty movies 💜

Christmas Eve the Curtises don’t really like meeting up with the gang because they feel it’s a day for them and them alone-it’s the only day Darry actually makes them go to church and Soda HATES it-he just cannot sit still that long, and he gets bored during prayer sermons-Darry actually enjoys going but he usually doesn’t like-seek out going and Pony finds it serene and it gives him closure honestly

They also do that thing where they open one gift the night before-I feel like the year their parents died and money was super tight it ended up being like the Gift of the Magi-they all bought each other something but Darry sold his football uniform to get Soda and Pony something, Pony sold an exclusive book collection his parents bought him and Soda sold the horse saddle he used to ride Mickey Mouse-Darry bought Pony a little bookshelf, Soda bought Pony some pretty fancy figurines of the book characters, Darry bought Soda a mantle to put the saddle on and Pony bought him a horse statue to build and put the saddle on, Pony bought Darry some cleats and Soda bought him a helmet embroidered with his father’s words to him and all three of them sold their most valuable things to buy those for each other and they just cry for a bit

On a lighter note they all but each other joke gifts-at Pony’s school they have a sale where they just sell old junk nobody wants and Pony gathers the most random shit. Darry has a tiki statue in his room and Soda got a lamp with a mysterious brown stain on it (based off actual events)

They have turkey and ham because the gang comes over on Christmas and all of them are actually like-very food invested lmao

athey all cuddle by the fireplace and pass around secret santa gifts (they do Secret Santa Im calling it)

New Year’s Eve

They have their own little traditions! Darry makes appetizers (like jalapeño poppers and nachos) and they make 24, every hour they eat one together as a way to count down

I feel like they don’t do much during the day besides just go about their normal activities. Darry and Soda both get off early (Pong brings them bits of appetizers each hour to keep the tradition going because they did this with the Curtis parents and little bro hates change-

Darry and Soda get off at like…2 or 3 and that’s when things get fun

Theybhave game nights! Game nights usually don’t end well and this is no exception-

Teh first game they try to play is monopoly but Soda gets impulsive and that makes it easy to swindle him out of stuff so he’s the first one to go bankrupt and lose-it’s Pony and Darry that butt heads lmao

Darry is really good at swindling Ponyboy out of money and whatnot and Pony gets SO pissed- “Darry I want a refund 😡” like I know someone (Pony) walks away crying-

Pony has learned Darry’s tactics over the year and is VERY good at lying so he manages to swindle Darry this time and Darry is actually proud until he realizes he lost and then he flips the board lmao

They have other games they love to play too-they play cards as well but Soda is banned from playing War because he always peeks at his cards

Theh stop playing games after a while to watch the ball drop

They do a little reflection thing yearly-like “my name is ____ I’m ____ years old, I’m in the _____ grade, my favorite color is ____ my favorite food is _____ my favorite toy/game is _____ my favorite color is _____”-Mrs. Curtis made them do this but they agreed to keep the tradition going evacsue they thought it was cool to look back at their younger selves and see how they’ve changed

They read out past ones to each other and they get to the ones like “My favorite memory is _____, the funniest thing that’s happened this year was _____, I love _____ about my brothers” and the three of them are HOWLING because reading back on them they just love remembering and such-it’s bittersweet.

New Year’s eve is the one night Soda can stay up later than like-9:30 (Bro has a bed time-it’s not Darry that gave it to him, Soda just appointed himself a bed time and if he isn’t in bed by then he becomes a bitch) but New Years Eve is the one time a year he’s okay with staying up

Darry lets Pony and Soda have a champagne glass too and they all hug when the ball drops and then they just pas sour on the couch lol

Hope these are good!! I did a lot-

[necroangelz]

Im watching a documentary about celts and white people and white power and Europe and Finnic people and Scandinavian people and The Roman Empire and white people feeling real nazistic now anyway sends all the emojis of the emoji game -🎀

Sana Tamaan Ka Ng Kidlat Ni Bathala

haha anyway wow 🎀 anon that sounds like a very educational documentary. did that inspire uu with any nazi feelings?

『 💉 』

a kin memory

as sunny omori, i was genderfluid afab, probably on the aroace spectrum, and used any pronouns. mari's full name was Marianne. can't remember my first name, i just know that sunny was a nickname that literally everyone used so it became a substitute for my actual name

mari and i were filipino-chinese (+american), kel and hero were south american, Aubrey was filipino-american, basil was just north american. faraway town had a lot of poc

『 🎀 』

a name/prn/title/label i hoard

I'm super drawn to anything related to stories :P

『 💊 』

5 min edit of a random character

yk uur talented when uur 5 minute edits still look good as hell /J

i love the "unmotivated" frame sm i wanna use it in an actual edit someday....

"angel stop editing NSO" NO!!

『 💌 』

a quote/song lyric

" i have nothing to complain about. i may not be perfect to you, but I'm plenty good enough to myself. "

" ... now i understand. i wanted everyone to love me. i sought for so much. to know everything when i had everything. but i never tried to find out what i truly wanted... and i can't have it anymore. ah, i could have turned back any time, but now it's all gone because of me ! "

dialogue from the houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous manga. can't remember which chapter but it's near the end. i won't talk about the context much in case i spoil someone but i really really really truly super duper resonate with this dialogue 🙃🙃

『 🫀 』

a game i played

today's game is... va-11 hall-a: cyberpunk bartender action! also known as waifu bartending and the true lesbian experience

time to mix drinks and change lives.

i first learned about it when my friend told me it was the type of game i would like. i looked it up and, wow he wasn't wrong. it really did look like something I'd be into. so when the steam spring sale rolled around a few days or a week ago i bought it!

honestly the title is very direct with what the game is about. you play as Jill, a bartender in va-11 hall-a (referred to simply as Valhalla) in a technologically advanced world and a corrupt city. you serve drinks to your clients, have long conversations with them where stuff about the characters and world is revealed, and tolerate their weirdness. the game is visual novel heavy and focuses a lot on the talking, which is fine with me! i like the combination of lots and lots of dialogue and casual gameplay where uu still kind of need to use uur brain

there's a lot of cute girls in the game (re: waifu bartending and the true lesbian experience)

to the left is Dorothy, a lilim robot (basically an advancedsex robot. her product line in particular is modeled to be on the younger side physically) she's really sweet and bubbly and she has a kind personality. to the right is Dana, Jill's boss. i don't know much about Dana yet but a lot of mystery surrounds her. a lot of characters say she's very strong and there's lots of rumors about how she got her prosthetic arm (a lot of rumors may have been started by her.) also Jill's wallpaper is of herself and Dana together and she apparently has lots of photos of Dana in her gallery. i hope i can see them get together

i find the GUI very satisfying. there's also a home segment where uu sit at home with Jill's cat, fore, and browse Jill's phone. uu can also buy stuff. Jill gets distracted very easily so sometimes uu have to buy things from the online store so Jill would be less distracted at work (SO REAL she's the most accurate representation of ADHD lesbians ever)

since it takes place in a cyberpunk setting there's some political shit going on, the city they live in is a really Bad city with lots of crime and injustice, and the organization "white knights" (basically the cops but stronger and more organized) are known to be power hungry and use their power unfairly for the wrong reasons. also the prime minister seems a bit incompetent? there's also something about a hacker called Alice rabbit... but also at the start of the game, Jill had this weird dream about a girl and occasionally the girl appears on the bar's tv for a split second...... yeah there's a lot going on here

anyways i find the game really fun and i hope to play it more when i have more free time! im still super early in the game . i don't have a singular favorite character yet bc I'm still at the beginning so idk much about them yet and they all look cool to me!!

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

OKAY, SO! the oc i will discuss here is connected to nyxa, an oc i discussed here but reading that infodump isn't necessary to understand this one (not like anyone reads these anyway /lh)

remmeber when i said that, as far as nyxa knows she's the only surviving member of her family after they all killed each other?? WELL! that's wrong she's not the only survivor. her older sister survived as well!

this is Amos faust! (or fraust... i spelled her last name differently sometimes) although Amos isn't really her real name, it's just an alias that she always goes by. shes the head of a detective agency! (in my phoebe and nyxa infodump i mention that nyxa becomes a head of a detective agency when she's an adult. she takes over amos' agency)

her backstory is she studied in cloud tower but in her 3rd year she dropped out and disappeared. no one came looking for her because.. no one really knew her, yk? she was quiet, mysterious, she avoided everyone and everyone avoided her. eventually after leaving cloud tower she began a personal investigation where she hunted down a specific person/group that had something to do with her family's demise (like an enemy of the family) and it led her to a detective agency. she concluded that her target was the director. so she entered the agency, climbed the ranks,became trusted and known within the agency, until she had the opportunity to get close enough to the director and kill them. except, she was wrong about her target, so now she had the blood of an innocent person on her hands. out of genuine guilt and regret (and also because she was emotionally attached to this agency and she figured she would have an easier time continuing her investigation within the agency) she pulled some strings and appointed herself as the new director. and she has been the director for the past ██ years.

Amos is a very eccentric person, and those who don't know her well might even regard her as scary. she arrives to strange conclusions, she comes up with strange plans, but somehow her plans always work. most of the time. the people working under her have learned not to question it. she's very skilled at fighting, spywork, reading and using people, etc. it's hard to know if any of her current personality is even true. but sometimes, one can observe that she genuinely cares for the few people who are very close to her, such as her sister nyxa and her assistant. shes also sarcastic, unafraid to speak her mind, really confident in herself and her abilities.

so how do Amos and nyxa meet again?

basically in their 3rd year at alfea, students can sign up as for different part time jobs with agencies that alfea partnered with. there's a wide range of jobs and it's meant to help the students get familiar with the work environment of the career they want to pursue in the future. yk, gain some experience, make connections, get a paycheck, etc. phoebe and nyxa try applying for many jobs but in the end they go with a detective agency. very few students applied for it so they easily get hired after they attend the orientation and pass the test, and also they think it's really cool

when they applied and worked there for a few weeks/months, the director was away on a long business trip so nyxa didn't immediately realize that her fucking sister was in the agency. and idk if she would realize it immediately either. because she hasn't seen her sister in YEARS and i like to think something separated them very early in their lives so they weren't close at all. but Amos would immediately recognize her i think

but yeah. skipping past the specifics of the situation: eventually nyxa learns the truth, she's no longer alone, she still has surviving family etc. nyxa and Amos try to rebuild a familial bond again but it's awkward bc its like.... honestly at this point in their lives they're like strangers to each other. but it's okay they take the time to get to know each other again

i like to imagine nyxa and Phoebe going on missions together with Amos as their chaperone/guardian/protector/guide ^_^

anyway yeah that's all i have to say i think

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[solomonish]

How To Keep Your Demon Entertained At A Walmart

Congratulations! You've earned yourself a few demon date days up in the human world! But what's this? You have errands to run? Well, we all know these demons can't function without you for more than five minutes....but an entity that's thousands of years old gets a little bored and restless in the hyper-market wasteland of a Walmart...

Nowdateables: coming soon!

Lucifer

if you don't want him getting passive-aggressive about how you should've done this before he got here (yeesh Lucifer some of us have jobs or responsibilities that we can't shove onto our siblings for a day to see our precious mc) then you better be ready to make conversation

definitely not the type to allow you to even think about sending him off so you can get stuff done. he's not even that bothersome, so he'll get offended if you even think about it, but also wouldn't you rather keep him around to reach the top shelves?

basically if you don’t want to keep Lucifer entertained, you have to be the one he needs to keep entertained

do that thing where you roll around on the cart like a skateboard and he’ll be trying to put a stop to it immediately

put random things in your cart that he knows you don’t need and let him take it out and put it back where it belongs

stare him in the eyes as you put that party size brownie mix in your cart then speed walk away. he will come up from an aisle in front of you and silently pluck the box out and take it back. he will come back to see seven boxes of corn dogs and momentarily considers breaking up with you

does not need a treat as a bribe, but will definitely forgive your antics if you bought something from the bakery to snack on as you go home (especially if you did it without him noticing, considering the eagle eye he’s had to have on your cart the whole time)

just don’t have the nerve to complain about the crumbs in your car after that

Mammon

I would say to ask him to scan the area looking for dropped coins on the floor but he'd probably knock down shelves trying to look beneath them so....maybe don't?

also please keep an eye on him or he WILL be shoplifting. human jail is (probably?) a step up from demon jail but like. let's aim for no jail, ok mammon?

instead, give him a pre-portioned off list and tell him it's like a scavenger hunt. he'll scamper off to explore the walmart and his duty to keeping you happy has like a 70% chance of preventing him from stealing anything too important

make sure the stuff you put on the list is kind of hard to find but not too hard. you wanna keep him occupied without risking him freaking out because he can't find this super specific spice you want

either that or only make a really vague list like. tell him you need bread and he'll stand in the bread aisle trying to remember if you like white bread or whole wheat bread until you come to retrieve him

bring money for a treat. if it's near st patrick's day go in the seasonal aisle and hope they have chocolate gold coins

he's not too hard to deal with, but figuring out what's sneaky enough to put on the list is a chore of its own so going by yourself is less work anyway

Leviathan

taking him to walmart was your final fatal mistake

seriously? he has to go in? you could have just left him in the car!!

you take him intending to have him pick out some normie snacks (since you don't have any limited edition whatever-the-fucks in your house right now) but he looks so uncomfortable you make a detour towards the games

just leave him to play on the trial device and go pick out a few things for him to choose from when you circle back to him

arguable the least stressful trip for you until you have to wade through the pool of kids surrounding him and watching him play when it's time to pay and leave

you won't have to buy him anything but you will have to wait for him to finish the level he's on before he lets you drag him away. and he'll probably complain a little bit in the car about how terrible it was to go in in the first place, which a treat would help minimize.

so i guess just pick your battles with this one?

Satan

satan is a refined individual with startling amounts of self control. he does not need pointed in the direction of the books. he can entertain himself on a grocery run.

point him in the direction of the books anyway

their selection is always small (because it’s a walmart not a bookstore) and half of it is children’s anyway so he’ll probably wander off real quick

satan doesn’t need to be entertained, no, he’s past that. he needs to be kept on a leash

you have no way of knowing where he’ll end up. sometimes he’ll be somewhere that makes sense like in the stationary but sometimes you’ll find him staring at the paint samples like it’s a masterpiece in a museum or over by the fishing hooks reading up about local fish populations and how to get a fishing license and you’re just like “???? i’ve been looking for you for twenty minutes???? don’t give me facts about salmon???”

will ask you why you need to buy tires in the same place you get your food. isn’t that suspicious? what do they specialize in?

answer him only with the word “bargains” and he’ll stop asking once he understands or gets annoyed

you don’t need to buy him a treat unless he finds a book he wants. then come on mc, you dragged him out here and you’re NOT gonna let him get this one thing??

Asmodeus

he's fine with making an errand run with you actually!

he's up on the human world for you baby, just make sure to hold his hand so he feels appreciated

asmo is far too entertained with the concept of a walmart for his own good. don't go with him if you want it to be a quick trip because he'll want to go around the whole store

thinks at first that it's kind of nifty that humans just dump all the things they need in one store but is quickly turned off from the novelty when he realizes how short the distance is between the clothes and the nearest package of raw chicken

even if the selection is small, he will want to spend time in the makeup department. probably goes on rants about how he can’t imagine this quality of product is good for your skin

will still buy nail polish though if you let him

overall? not terrible to have around, but make sure you don’t have anywhere to be in the next hour when you take him

Beelzebub

pack a gallon bag of cheerios like he's a toddler and get ready to fucking book it in and out of there

you know how you should never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? what were you thinking bringing Beel around??

another brother who’s good for reaching tall shelves if you need it

Beel also has this talent where he can just list off the ingredients you need if you happen to forget your list

if you want, you can distract him momentarily by just throwing out random dishes and he’ll get the ingredients right every time (even though they’re human dishes!!) but you’ll end up giving him like five different cravings by the time you leave

only take him if you want to speedrun grocery shopping, because he will start eating food you haven’t paid for if you take too long

bring extra money for that too, just in case he gets caught :(

Belphegor

bringing belphie to walmart isn't a matter of keeping him entertained moreso than keeping him awake

which you will inevitably fail to do

so even if you only need like three things, get him a cart and let him fall into the basket

he’ll try to stay awake (and he’ll give very self-satisfied grins to the people who stare at him ((and especially the ones who say “wow i wanna do that”))) but he can only fight off his sin for so long

stop by the blankets so he can stuff a few soft things in (bc he’s gotta be uncomfortable cramped in the little basket) and he’ll make himself a tiny nest

the good news is you can put anything on top of him and he won’t complain. just don’t drop any gallons of milk on him or anything that’ll wake him up

go to a self check-out so the employees don’t yell at you

after you put your groceries in your car, just dump his ass on the pavement. he’ll forgive you if you bought him the blankets.

[beauregardlionett]

i think i might understand the concept of home

AO3 Link

Yasha’s car had broken down on the side of the road in some tiny town she only meant to pass through. She hadn’t even read the welcome sign half-a-mile back, so gods knew where she was. Thankfully, there was a shoulder and a sidewalk, so she wasn’t stuck in the middle of traffic. She had the hood popped and stared helplessly down at the tangle of mechanics she did not understand.

Nothing was smoking, so she figured that must be a good thing.

“Need a hand?”

Yasha glanced up, catching sight of a woman standing just outside the coffee shop Yasha broke down in front of. She stood defined in the sunlight, composed of sharp lines and lean muscle, contained by planes of smooth, coffee-colored skin. She had on a simple grey sports bra under denim overalls littered with stains and distressed patches torn in random places on the legs. Her hair was in a low bun sat over what looked like an undercut all tucked messily beneath a backward cap.

Damn...she was hot.

The woman cocked an expectant eyebrow, reminding Yasha she had yet to answer.

“Oh, um...yes?”

Hot Lady smirked and stepped off the curb to stand at Yasha’s shoulder, leaning over the open hood and inspecting the mess. Yasha was busy inspecting the tanned slope of neck to bare shoulder, all of her quite a sight in the midday sunlight.

Gods, was that a tattoo on her back?

With abrupt yet easy precision, Hot Lady hauled herself up onto the lip of Yasha’s truck and shoved her hand between various pieces of metal. Startled, Yasha looked down at the engine, hoping she wouldn’t have to call emergency services for a hand lost in her car engine.

“The alternator might be shot,” Hot Lady said, squinting as she moved her hand around a little.

“What does that mean?” Yasha managed, only a little strangled.

“Means you need to get your car into a shop because you aren’t going to have much luck getting far without it.” Hot Lady removed her hand and gave a little hop back down to the pavement. She wiped her hand carelessly on her overalls and shrugged a little.

“It’s not a super challenging thing to fix, but it will take a minute. I can point you to a good garage if you need.”

“That would be very helpful. Thank you...um...”

“Beauregard,” the woman said, sticking out her hand with a grin. “Call me Beau.”

After hesitating a moment, Yasha grasped Beau’s hand and gave it a tentative shake, cheeks warm. Her face flushed even warmer when Beau raised her eyebrow again, clearly waiting for Yasha’s name.

“Yasha,” she blurted, horrid awkwardness muddying her chest. “I’m Yasha.”

“Nice to meet you, Yasha,” Beau said as she slowly took her hand back. Yasha already like the way her name sounded rolling off of Beau’s tongue - perhaps far too much for someone she just met.

“You might need to shack up somewhere for the night,” Beau said, pulling her phone from her pocket and texting someone. “Depending on how long the garage takes with your car. I haven’t seen you ‘round here before. You got a place to stay?”

“Oh...no,” Yasha managed. “I’m just passing through.”

“Well, I texted my buddy over at the garage to come get your car. He’ll be here soon. There’s only one hotel in this town, and to be honest, it sucks. My buddy Caleb moved most of his stuff out of his apartment, but he hasn’t turned the lease over yet. He got a big wig job two hours from here and they had him start early, despite the fact he still had a month on the lease. You can crash there if you want. I’m pretty sure he left his mattress.”

Yasha blinked, dazed and flabbergasted at the turn this conversation had taken.

“I...what?”

Beau looked up from her phone, fingers pausing in their rapid texting. She seemed to take in Yasha’s stunned expression and grimaced slightly.

“Sorry, that was a lot all at once.” Beau tucked her phone away and crossed her arms over her chest. Yasha recognized the defensive tactic attempting to look casual with ease. She performed that move often enough herself.

“This ‘helping’ thing isn’t my forte - more Jess’ thing. But uh...yeah. If you need a place to stay, you’ve got one. Promise there're no strings attached or anything like that.”

“But...you don’t know me.”

“True,” Beau shrugged. “But it’s not like there’s anything to steal from Caleb’s place. It’s basically an empty apartment he’s not getting anything out of. Might as well put the place to good use.”

“Okay,” Yasha said after a moment of strange quiet. What else was she supposed to say?

Beau blinked up at Yasha, then grinned, wide and delighted. “Cool.”

A few minutes later, a tow truck pulled up. Beau greeted the driver enthusiastically as Yasha watched on, wondering what she had gotten herself into.

--

“This is it,” Beau said, shoving open the door with her hip as she wrestled the key out of the lock.

Yasha followed Beau in, fingers curled tightly around the strap of her meager duffle bag. The apartment was near barren, as Beau had said. It had a small living area that faded seamlessly into a kitchenette. Down a short hallway appeared to be a bedroom and bathroom, both doors open. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. The only sign someone had recently been occupying the space was the old mattress just visible through the bedroom door and the sagging sofa in the living room.

“Sorry there’s no food in the kitchen, but there’s a store about a block from here if you’re up for a walk. I’d hang around but I have to get to a class.”

Yasha twisted to look at Beau, something bubbling up in her chest that felt a lot like gratitude and a little like something indescribable. She watched as Beau fiddled with her key ring, only realizing what was happening when Beau pulled a key off and tossed it to Yasha. She just barely managed to catch it and not make a fool of herself.

“That’s the key to the door for ya. And,” Beau pulled a crumpled, folded piece of paper from her pocket, holding it out to Yasha. “My number, in case you have questions or you need anything. I’m a night owl and an early riser, so chances are I’ll answer whenever.”

“Thank you,” Yasha warbled after a long moment, clutching the key so hard the grooves of its identity imprinted into her palm. The notches stung like she would never forget their shape. “I mean it. This is...a lot.”

Beau rubbed the back of her neck, scuffing the toe of her sneaker against the worn floorboards. “It’s nothin’ really...”

“No,” Yasha insisted. “It’s a lot. Thank you.”

Beau’s gaze met Yasha’s intense stare, her bright blue eyes wide as they took in Yasha’s sincerity. A handful of seconds stretched into eternity before Beau ducked her head, rubbing at the back of her neck.

“Yeah...sure.”

Yasha was getting the impression she wasn’t the only one completely out of her depth in this situation.

“I’ll come around tomorrow with updates...bye.”

Yasha watched her duck out the door, disappearing down the hallway before she shut the door behind Beau and clicked the lock.

--

The garage had Yasha’s car fixed and ready to go after two days. Yasha was still in town three months later.

In all honesty, she’s not sure how it happened.

The night she planned to leave, Beau had swung by and insisted on seeing her off. They ended up at a diner, tucked into a booth, talking like they actually knew each other. Next thing Yasha realized, it was nearing midnight, and they were being asked to wrap up so the diner could close. The chef had called to them from the window, an older looking man with bright pink hair who gave Beau a knowing look and a wink.

Somehow, that unplanned extra night turned into months. Yasha had taken on the lease from the absent Caleb for his apartment. She found a job at the local florist, a job she quietly enjoyed. The gravity of her situation only set in after she bought sheets for the mattress.

She met Jess - real name Jester, or Genevieve, but Yasha couldn’t sure - a bubbly girl with deep blue hair and the sweetest attitude ever. Her fingertips were permanently paint stained, and she left hastily sketched dicks everywhere she went. Yasha also met the tow truck driver from the first day, a guy named Fjord. They were a weird mix of individuals, but somehow they got on just fine. They ate dinner together every Thursday night at the same bar owned by the guy who tended the bar - one of those small town things. His name was Mollymauk - Molly for short and sometimes they instead of he - with inordinately purple hair and makeup to match.

Yasha never really spent a lot of time in her apartment. She didn’t see the point, not when she had access to the florist shop, or the diner, or anywhere else with Jess, Fjord, Molly, or Beau. Especially not when Jess’ apartment she shared with Fjord was so much warmer, much more like a home.

It took three months before Beau stopped mid-sentence of a story and blinked at Yasha over their pancakes in the diner.

“This is probably a stupid question, but did you have somewhere to be?”

Yasha looked up, confused. “Right now? Uh...no? My shift at the shop doesn’t start for another three hours.”

“No, no, I meant like outside this town. You told me you were passing through, before.”

“Oh,” Yasha set down her fork and looked out the window. Her chest felt tight. That afternoon seemed like a lifetime ago - a whole other person ago. “Not really.”

“Do...uhm,” Yasha looked over at Beau to find her pushing her food around her plate awkwardly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

This was difficult for both of them. If Yasha had learned anything in her time here, it was that they both struggled to convey their emotions eloquently. But that Beau tried meant everything to Yasha. The least she could do was meet her halfway.

“I was running, and I didn’t know where or when I would stop. But I guess this place is where I’m meant to be.”

“Why were you running?” Beau stared at her, gaze intense in a way Yasha found endearing. She watched like nothing else in the world could distract her.

“I...I had a wife. And I lost her rather abruptly almost six months ago. I tried to stay for a while, to keep what we had built together, but I wasn’t strong enough. So I ran and hoped that I would find something worth staying for again before I fell off the world.”

Beau stared at Yasha openly over their half-eaten breakfast, eyes wide.

“You stayed here. Does that mean you found something here?”

Yasha looked at Beau, at her messy bun and her undercut that needed a fresh shave. She took in the puddle of syrup, slowly saturating Beau’s pancakes and the half gone pile of bacon. Beau’s cellphone sat face down on the table so her attention stayed on Yasha. She realized the baggy sweater Beau had on was one Yasha had misplaced almost a month ago. Yasha lost her breath at the butterflies that fluttered to life in her stomach.

“I think so,” Yasha breathed, tethered and unhinged all at once.

--

They didn’t talk about it, because of course they didn’t.

But two weeks after their pancake conversation, Beau invited Yasha out for a night on the town. There were only two bars with decent night life here, and Yasha had been to both of them exactly once during her time here. (The daytime trips to Molly’s bar didn’t count, of course. She had only been to their bar for the night life once.)

She met Beau in the middle, and they walked together the rest of the way.

Beau had gotten her undercut shaved tight again, but it was hidden with the way her hair spilled loose and long down her back. She had a cobalt lace crop top on - the one with the built-in bra. The way it showed off the definition of her muscles was doing things to Yasha. The black cigarette pants didn’t help either.

A few drinks and way too many EDM songs later - or maybe only a few? Yasha couldn’t tell them apart - Yasha remained upright from adrenaline alone. Somewhere between the drinks and the beat of the music, Beau pressed up against Yasha, wiry arms winding around Yasha’s neck as they danced. Yasha wasn’t much of a dancer in any regard, but she was just tipsy enough to not care.

Beau’s hips fit comfortably in the space between Yasha’s hands, and Yasha resolutely tried not to follow that train of thought. For no other reason than she didn’t want to ruin a good thing, and there was no way Beau felt the same.

Beau pushed onto her toes, shiny black boots creasing with the motion as her lace top rode up her enticing torso.

“I really want to kiss you,” Beau called over the heavy thrum of the base. Her voice nearly got lost in the din, but Yasha heard her. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t. The weight of her heart dropping into her stomach hit too heavy and real to ignore.

Fuck, she wanted to kiss Beau, too.

Yasha’s t-shirt stuck to random parts of her torso with sweat, a detail she was now hyper-aware of with how little space existed between her and Beau. The press of bodies around them was abruptly unnerving. So much so, Yasha wound an arm around Beau’s shoulders and steered them both free, ducking into the hallway that lead to the bathrooms as Yasha gasped for air.

Beau leaned her back against the wall for support, peering at Yasha with far too much clarity for someone who could barely stand upright.

“Are you okay, Yash?” Her voice was quieter now that they had moved out of the main bar, but the base still pounded like a heartbeat through the floorboards.

With more confidence than Yasha would ever possess in her life, she caged Beau in, a hand on either side of her head against the wall. As Beau stared up at her with unabashed awe, Yasha’s face warmed with flushed embarrassment.

“I want to kiss you so bad.”

“Then do it,” Beau said. It sounded like a dare, but she said it as if she were asking permission.

With a quick swoop into Beau’s space, Yasha pressed her lips to Beau’s with the barest amount of pressure. A feather-light, electric brush of a promise, a question, and an invitation. Yasha moved no closer.

Beau leaned in, and as far as kisses went, it was simple. Neither of them surged toward the other, or grappled for purchase to deepen the embrace. It was an easy press of lips, testing the waters despite the alluring tug of the tide.

Tipsy seconds later, Beau pulled back first with a soft gasp. Yasha’s eyes fluttered open, and she felt like a cheesy teenager when she realized they had closed without her knowledge.

“Do you want to do this?” Beau asked, voice soft and a little wrecked despite the chaste kiss.

Yasha, never one for many words, gave a quick nod and ducked back in. It wasn’t confidence, more like the beginning of a realization.

Beau held onto her, this time hands back around Yasha’s neck and fingers tangled deep in Yasha’s wild hair. Yasha took one hand from the wall to cup the back of Beau’s head, fingers sliding easily over the short hairs of Beau’s undercut.

It wasn’t a fireball kiss, but it tasted like the whiskey shots they had done half an hour ago. Beau’s lips were soft and a stark contrast to the way she kissed Yasha. It wasn’t falling stars and fire lit in her chest, nor was it a cosmic shift of puzzle pieces snapping into place. As before, it was a realization, a revelation of something that might have been there for a while.

Beau kissed Yasha back, and she thought about pancakes at the diner and memorizing the way Beau’s eyes scrunched when she laughed. Yasha rubbed her thumb over Beau’s jawline and Beau’s sharp grin burst to life behind her eyelids. A tug to Yasha’s hair reminded her of Beau offering to braid Yasha’s messy locks every time they all slept at Jess’ place. Beau licked into Yasha’s mouth and all at once, Yasha pictured her apartment. She saw the walls she had kept carefully bare, the sheets she had bought, but no other furniture. The echoing emptiness of a place abandoned for a better chance, and inhabited by the echo of who Yasha used to be.

And what did people say about echoes being louder in empty rooms?

Beau kissed Yasha, and Yasha realized she didn’t want to be an echo anymore.

Beau made her feel solid in a way that was undemanding. She merely held out her hand and asked for the pieces of Yasha that were real, the parts she was willing to share. She helped Yasha make them into a complete picture.

Yasha kissed Beau back with all the gentle strength she could muster through the weight of her epiphany and the whiskey.

This time, Yasha knew she found something worth staying for.

[thejudgingtrash]

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

[fandom-blackhole]

My beloved darling my brain is on overheat, let's get this bread!

Armorer = Andromeda yess, did I tell you that I love your galaxy brain?,

This name can also explains Paz' fixation on the astronomical stuff,

Omg, he'd not only tatoo his babygirl's name but outline of Andromeda galaxy to go with it,

Grogu saying bad words omg,

Next time you and Boba are babysitting him, you are supervising them 25/8,

You let Boba teach Grogu how to swim, since you have a nice huge pool and it does seem harmless right?,

Next second you glance at them, Boba is doing some kind of water wwe with the kiddo, throwing him into the water lol,

LET ME KISS YOUR BRILLIANT MIND,

Also that meme that you've posted earlier of our connected minds is a real manifestation,

Listen, I thought about Rex and Cody too!,

But.. Jaster and Jango omg, honoring great grandpa and grandpa 😍,

Well since you and Boba have a big house, there is no problem with having more than two children,

Omg imagine the future vision of Grogu, Jango, Jaster, Rex and Cody being protective over Andromeda also sibling goals!,

Shit we need names for little Djarins tho,

I believe in you since you came with these brilliant ideas for Paz and Boba's children,

Boba playing guitar and singing for you,

He is secretly a big old fashioned romantic,

Also your jewelry collection must be worth more than entire national reserve lmfao,

Since Boba likes cowboys, space or not, he bought you a pony yeehaaw,

And you've had enough practice with riding, right? 😉,

Paz is really crafty, obviously,

He makes you flowercrowns using flowers from his little garden 🥺,

Boba saw your tumblr and decided to sign up too,

He immediately got attacked in the dms by those obnoxious, p0rn bots,

''Princess, why are random people asking me if I am looking for a sugar daddy? What is this bulshittery'',

You tell him to ignore these messages and that there is no point in responding because these are bots,

He doesn't get it, responding to every single one of them with I WILL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE YOU COCKSUCKER,

He actually commands his best hackers to find who is behind all of this shitshow lol,

No one messes with the Fetts, even bots,

Din doing your make up?,

Since he does a lot of drawing and doodling both in class and with Grogu his skills are pretty decent,

He'd even manage to put fallsies on you!,

I feel that Paz could totally slay your looks,

You'd be beaten to the gods, it's like mixing and adding ingredients so he's got you!,

Boba on the other hand is pro at smudging your lipstick and making your face stained by tears mixed up with mascara 😉,

Also Paz knitting???,

Making cute matching socks for him, you and Aurora and Ad'ika??? 😍,

When Din is home alone he vents to Crest about his existential crisis,

She just throws one of Grogu's plushies at him,

Boba asks if he can post pics of Fennec too,

You agree but under one condition,

You will send him pics done by you that he can post lol,

Paz, Boba and Din brotherly bonding st the shooting range,

They set up a little tournament,

But they all are so good,

Boba and Paz obviously have the work experience, but Din?

Auntie Armorer being a bad ass she is, trained Din and Paz in some martial arts and how to use a gun,

Grogu sneaking up on them and shooting straight bullseye lol,

Getting drunk with them?

Paz, due to his larger frame can drink a lot and still feel somewhat sober,

But when he is wasted he becomes even more of a goofball, wrecking chaos wherever you guys were partying at,

Din becomes drunk easly,

And he gets all blushy on his face,

Also he becomes really touchy and handsy with you 😉,

Boba being drunk?

Yeah, I think he can only become pussydrunk 😳😳😳

Okay sorry darling, but I need to calm down, I became too distracted after the last bit - 🐣

Listen there is no calm over here, and don't apologize for all of this beautiful masterpiece....

So names for Din's kids.... for a girl I like the name Farrah or Luna and for a boy what about Jax??

Boba totally tries to go behind your back and teach little Grogu things

You only find out about them because he tries to teach kids at school the same things and Din freaks out

All of the kids are super close and they all are protective of eachother

Especially little Andromeda, because she's just softer and more caring and she is the target when other kids are around

Rex and Cody are pretty much attached at the hip, doing everything together, and you and Boba aren't sure how but Rex was born with blonde hair, and Cody has a birthmark spanning where his scar is in the movies/show

Boba singing and playing the guitar? Be still my beating heart

Boba singing the the babies to sleep!!!!

Boba owning enough horse for all of you to go horse back riding when ever you want to

Boba has a movie theater in his house

BOBA BEING ON TUMBLR AND JUST GETTING PORN BOTS MESSAGING HIM LEFT AND RIGHT

Boba totally messages them all and tells them to fuck off he already has a princess

Listen Din is actually super good at art, and he loves when you let him do your make up

Grogu loves when Din does HIS makeup

Paz also is so good at making your base makeup look fucking flawless and natural and you aren't sure how he does it

And Boba is the KING of giving you that, just fucked look 😉😉

Paz knitting?!?!? 2739203/10 best image ever

He totally makes Andromeda's baby blanket as well as a bigger matching one for you

Din, Paz, and Boba totally get together every couple of months, especially if they haven't seen eachother in a bit

The Armorer definitely made sure her boys could defend themselves because she didn't want to see them hurt

Grogu is a total natural at shooting, but Boba will claim that he taught it to him because of the babysitting incident

GETTING SMASHED WITH THE BOYS!!

Din definitely can't hold his liquor and he talks so much more with no filter when he is drunk

He also will try to shove his hand down your pants, even if you are in public so watch out

You aren't even sure Boba can get drunk, but he does love drinking with you

Or better yet, drinking you 😉😉

Paz is totally a giggly drunk, and he always thinks he comes up with the best ideas but they are always terrible

But he does come up with some pretty good recipes while drunk

God imagine family dinners with all of the kids and Paz cooking 🥺🥺

Paz would be so overjoyed if you got a tattoo that symbolizes him

You both getting the mando vows tattooed in mando'a!!!!

Bob totally fills all the dad role with the kids so well

You find him telling them stories before bed and giving them each kisses on the forehead

(SEND ME THOTS!!!)

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 28~ Well, I heard this season’s supposedly got 60 episodes total (don’t quote me, that may be wrong) so we’re almost at the halfway point... I’m gonna wait till episode 30 to talk about that though.

This episode I actually rather liked, even though absolutely NOTHING happens other than the important things at the very beginning and the very end. That’s becoming a pattern this season - lots of nothing sandwiched in between hints of big dramatic things to come. Eh. But yeah, I liked it anyway :P for a few reasons that are probably not that objective. It’s not the kind of episode that’s gonna make you want to rewatch though.

Cap of the week!

Look we all know Jou is exactly the kind of 12 year old who folds his clothes neatly even when lost in a mysterious parallel world. Also he brought more textbooks (social studies and Japanese). Aka more ammo for Mimi

More below:

Last week we ended with Patamon evolving to Angemon in what was a pretty anticlimactic moment, despite a big villain being there and a cliffhanger ending. Seemed like a waste after all we went through just to get him.

However, I do think the beginning of episode 28 makes up for it somewhat. Angemon gets to show off how Very Very Cool he is, but it’s also made clear that he’s not up to full strength. Seeing him throw all his effort into the battle to save them even though it’s clear he won’t win was actually pretty great.

More typhoon winds throwing everyone back XD they must have so many bruises

Poor Takeru gets thrown back all by his lonesome

So last episode, I said I thought Darknightmon was gonna go for Hikari and was surprised and somewhat relieved when he stayed interested in Takeru/Angemon. Um... I guess that was a red herring x’D he’s after Hikari after all.

He literally says “I have no use for you” to Angemon LOL sick burn my dude

Hikari: “There is a new cutest child.”

Takeru: “Um, actually the phrase is ‘smallest child’.“

Hikari: “No. Cutest child. Do not interrupt my moment, impertinent one.”

Grogu: “Did someone say ‘cutest child’?”

Angemon’s peeved that Hikari stole the spotlight so he immediately jumps into the way and prevents Darknightmon from grabbing her.

Angemon: “No one treats ME like some washed up has-been!”

But as hard as he tries, Angemon just hasn’t recovered enough. It probably took all the energy Patamon had stored up just to evolve. His wings lengthen and release into millions of shining feathers, and both he and Darknightmon de-evolve.

I really did kind of enjoy this battle! Seeing Takeru be all strong and heroic, and the desperation with which Angemon tries to protect him... me likey.

Next it’s a nod to 99 series! D-D-Digimon!

Yamato screams like he’s at the dentist’s.

There’s lots of freaky black lightning that rains down seeming to give dark energy and empower random Digimon who get hit by it. Just to ensure our heroes don’t get to waste time on any more “breaks”

A single feather floats down where Taichi lands and dissolves. I am not sure what happened to it, if it did anything or if it was what protected them until this point...

Taichi and Hikari wake up and discover they are alone. So last week I thought they’d get swept off into pairs... I didn’t even consider that they’d each wind up alone. Mixed feelings! On the one hand, seeing each kid interact with their partner and their partner only was one of the good things about this episode (except it wasn’t always true, which I’ll get to in a minute). On the other hand, my fears last week were that whoever ended up with Taichi would be overshadowed by him. Turns out, if no one’s with him but Hikari, that means all the plot stuff is with them and the others have nothing in particular to do. -_-; At least not this week. My hope is that it’s coming (and there were a few promising hints this episode so), but next week’s trailer looks pretty Taichi-centric too..

Taichi: “Can I help it if I’m so charming cool awesome and dare I say it adorable”

The impact of everyone being “alone” is cut short by the fact that they can all still communicate via digivice. I would be fine with that, except for what I said earlier - they wind up spending too much time talking to each other instead of their partners. Particularly the ones who like to Plan Things. Eh.

Yamato tells Taichi to protect Hikari, doesn’t even mention that he’s sadly separated from Takeru at this point ;_; He knows Takeru’s okay though because Takeru is also communicating by digivice.

Sora: “Hello yes, it’s in my contract that I get to be awesome X number of times per episode, and I have doubts that you are making your quota.”

I love how Tentomon’s job is basically Koushirou’s secretary x’D “Put my calls on speakerphone Margaret” “Yes Mr Izumi”

The partners really are suited to each other... Koushirou gets a secretary, Jou gets a mom, Mimi gets a gal pal, Yamato gets a therapist, Sora gets a sister, Taichi gets a... preschool child who eats paste... -.-’

takeru and hikari don’t count because they’re Special and their main attribute is Cute

All the kids have ended up alone except for super-charged monsters who want to eat them. Palmon hoists Mimi up a very sheer rock trying to escape Golemon who is not great at climbing but doesn’t seem to know that

Meanwhile Jou... is like “Ohh yeah, you guys have it so rough, I’m trying my hardest too, keep fighting the good fight y’all”

He’s relaxing in the hot springs and freaking studying.

Gomamon’s unusually fine with it though. Because he gets to swim. He says “Let’s invite the others here.” They’re both like YEAH THIS IS WHAT I CALL A VACATION

It’s all fun and games until the hairy guy with the tattoos and veiny arms sharing your hot spring starts staring at your ding-a-ling. Uhhhhhhh.

he does make the “Nanimono?” joke so all is well lol

No matter what form he takes, Patamon is always an Angel 👼

Takeru is alone but he has Patamon... but Patamon is...

... ADORABLE... and conked out. Takeru’s so proud of him though, look at that smile *sniff*

Taichi remembers to ask Koushirou how conditions are back at home. This kid is too organized.

Koushirou: “News and variety shows continue as normal even though the world’s ending.”

I’m not going to get into everything he says but it’s pretty much more of the same regarding the power influx from the human world to the digital world and the way the Zurumon’s attacks are wreaking havoc with electronics...

Taichi almost says “You’re so sugoi!” Almost. He’s grateful anyway. *chews on those Taishiro breadcrumbs till they’re broken down to atoms*

Then... Hikari’s acting strange!

Agumon: “What are you looking at?”

Hikari: “I don’t know.”

Taichi: “You don’t know but you’re looking at it?”

Hikari: “It kind of looks like Steve Buscemi... it’s hard to tell”

Taichi’s not too wigged out by freaky Hikari because he’s lived with her all his life, and she’s always been a freak.

Baby Hikari: “Shteeve... bushemiii....”

Agumon: “Your sister’s weird.”

Taichi: “Yeah but she’s MY weird sister.”

Yamato is fighting, of course. He stops for a moment to be impressed by how well Takeru’s handling himself. Garurumon points it out. I suppose it’s simply time to accept that this season Yamato is just not the disaster boy he was in 99 x’D

Now have some gratuitous adorable Patabutt images.

Patabutt patabutt pata pata butt butt

Um... is it just me or is Patamon kinda... oversized all of a sudden lol...

Takeru: “Did you eat all of my candy stash again?”

Patamon: “I just can’t seem to quit”

Takeru: “That’s it we’re getting you into rehab”

Patamon tries to fly but just can’t ;____; poor baby is totally wiped out. Takeru takes a long time to catch on to that. I REALLY HOPE THIS GOES SOMEWHERE, like Takeru has to protect Patamon instead of the reverse etc... pleeeeease don’t just leave this where it is writers!! The potential for cute is endlessssss

On the matter of Things That Are Not Cute... -.-;

Jou: “Please stop looking at my junk”

Nanimon: “Stop looking at mine”

Jou: “YOU DONT HAVE ANY wait do you wAIT I DONT WANT TO LOOK”

Mimi is much more useful! She discovers a shiny rock!

Theory!

This rock... could be the raw material for their Crests!!! Squeee~!! I mean, it’s about time something about that came up, assuming it’s still a thing. (Since they already seem to have their Crests loaded in their Digivices and got to Perfect level without any talk of values and personal strengths, I don’t know how much of the old Crest legacy remains in this season.) I, uh, did the same thing in my fanfic so I guess I’m just biased... These could totally be Evil Rubies Of Darkness and Terror but I’d rather have Crests :p Of course I would have expected Mimi to find green stones in that case sooo... maybe not.

Anyway she and Palmon are suitably distracted from running from Golemon and go mining instead. I’m sure that will not cause any problems.

We swing back to Taichi and Hikari, who are being approached by a big scary monster...

Taichi: “Watch my Tarzan impression.”

Hikari: “Nooo! I don’t want to be Jane!”

Fortunately Agumon evolves just to catch them in midair x’D Now is not the time for impressions, Taichi, seriously.

They are attacked by Volcdramon, which is a dumbass name.

Voldramon: “I AM VOLCRADMON, THE VOLCANO DIGIMON”

Taichi: “Velcromon the Velcro Digimon?”

Voldramon: “what NO i am Volcdramon-”

Hikari: “Voltronmon? Voldemortmon?”

Voldramon: *sniveling* “why does this happen EVERY time i JUST want to be one of the cool guys youre all such BULLIES”

MetalGreymon and Volcdramon face off, but something’s not right! Much like... the Digimon in the last episode whose name I already forgot *cough*, Volcdramon seems able to absorb other Digimon’s power. This presents a problem because last time it took all of them shooting into its mouth together to overload it so they could win. MetalGreymon is having a hard time on his own as Volcdramon just absorbs all his attacks.

Hikari prays to Jesus to save them. Digimon is approved for Christian families 👼👼👼

ugggghhh I love them

Taichi promises Hikari everything will be okay. His back-and-forth with MetalGreymon here is kind of cool. Every time MetalGreymon takes a hit, Taichi’s encouragement and coaching?? I guess keeps frustration at bay.

Buuut eventually they’re both feeling pretty desperate :P It was hard for me to take this battle seriously since, after all we’ve seen MetalGreymon capable of, it seems weird that he should be struggling this much. But obviously they don’t just want to make him invincible. And this problem makes sense: the ability of Digimon to absorb attacks and turn them into energy is definitely a new problem.

The question is, how do we solve it?

Apparently it helps if you have a little sister who’s some kind of super battery.

Taichi: “Nothing shocks me anymore with Hikari. She could announce she’s been Beyonce this whole time and I would believe it”

WarGreymon appears (again) as his goldeny vision self, defeats Volcdramon, then promptly de-evolves back to Agumon.

So the question is, why is this happening... From earlier episodes we know Agumon & co are some group of legendary warriors who have had their memories tampered with (??) to some extent (because they do still know each other, or at least Agumon and Gabumon remember knowing each other). Omegamon’s a given for that of course so I suppose that’s why. Hikari seems to be the key to unlocking the legendary warriors, maybe with Takeru. That’s my guess. Of course, Tailmon’s probably already in the bad guys’ clutches, much like Patamon was. I hope she’s still working for them. I want more double agent fun times. Also ANGST

Hikari: “Thank you, Agumon-” *disappears*

Taichi: “GEEZ I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even breathe without something bad happening anymore, like excuse me for BLINKING”

Yeah so... Skullknightmon appears and abducts Hikari like it’s nothing xD

Skullknightmon: “What’s under arm number two? Iiiiit’s your sister!”

Taichi: “Aw damn, I wanted the sports car”

Taichi quickly gives chase. I assume Agumon’s pretty exhausted after that and probably can’t evolve now. Bad timing. Oooor maybe this is all how Skullknightmon planned it...

Then... the unthinkable! Hikari looks at her brother rushing desperately to save her... and turns away!

Taichi is SHOCKED! Le GASP!

Taichi: “But but but I’m the MAIN CHARACTER”

Hikari: “Not anymore bitch it’s my show now”

Yeah okay jokes aside! This bit was AWESOME. Like, I’m sure it’s obvious that she can tell the voice that “called” her to the digital world is with Skullnightmon. Or at least, her heart’s telling her she has to go with him in order to meet that person (Tailmon, duh). I’ll be surprised if that’s not what’s going on. But... to so coldly just turn her back on her brother... I mean, maybe she also thinks she’s protecting him... but SHE JUST GOT HERE... holy crap...

To think we spent so long theorizing that Takeru would be the one abducted but no it’s Hikari... In retrospect should have been obvious. She’s 1) a girl and therefore a damsel, and 2) the one who was abducted in 99 xP

But I really like her semi-willingly going off with Skullnightmon. Much better than just screaming as she’s whisked away King Kong-style. In 99 she also got abducted voluntarily (I mean, it was coercion, so... that’s not voluntary, but you know what I mean). So they kept that in this season and I like it.

That’s it for this week’s episode! So the bits that I liked were the individual moments with the kids and their partners, of which we had more than usual but still not nearly enough. Nowhere near. In the end it was still a Taichi episode.

As a Taichi fan... it’s not like I’m ever sad that he gets more focus. But I love ALL the kids and they’re NOT getting development. We do keep getting hints about them but it’s so, so, so slow. To be fair, it’s not like we know THAT much about Taichi either. He gets so much focus because he’s always fighting. This season doesn’t seem concerned with personality and character bits like the 99 one, and I am gonna compare them for that. Because I think that was the heart of the 99 show. Without it, it’s missing something. I keep hoping it’ll come back, we keep getting those hints and special moments here and there, but the plot is such a distraction... if it was like a really good plot maybe I’d care less but...

Next week...  as far as I can see, it’s another Taichi episode xP But I do think they’ll do the same as this episode and intersperse Taichi’s battle with what’s going on with the others too. If that’s how they do it, I won’t mind. It might even be better. Fine, Taichi can fight, as long as the others are showing us more about themselves and getting other things done in the meantime. Mimi and Jou both look promising. Takeru too. Sora and Yamato, not sure..

Koushirou better not just sit at his computer the whole time -___-

Le owch.

Taichi: “Look being the main character’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I have three concussions and six broken bones. Also I can’t feel my toes anymore”

hang in there bud im cheering for ya

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Cats has been a divisive show ever since it opened in 1981. Some people hate it for being a plotless spectacle that focuses more on the visuals than on music and story, while others love it for those same reasons, as well as for being utterly campy and fun. I’m firmly in the latter category, to the point I can’t  really comprehend the opposition to the film. Stuff like the jab at this film in The Critic or the mockery of it in Hey Arnold just seem weird to me; what is it about this fun, silly musical about cats that makes people’s blood boil so much?

Perhaps all these people saw into the future where the film was released.

Cats had a long, troubled history getting from stage to screen. In the 90s, Amblimation was set to make an animated version of the movie, set during the Blitz of WWII. Unfortunately, the inability of writers to find a way to turn this episodic showcase of random singing cats into a cohesive narrative combined with the failure of Amblimations films caused the project to dissolve, leaving behind nothing but some really cool concept art. 

But see, this perfectly demonstrates the problem with adapting Cats: the musical is a spectacle, a showcase, it’s all about the dancing, costumes, and the songs. It doesn’t have a story to speak of, instead contenting itself with showing us a bunch of different cats and having them sing about themselves for a bit before moving on to the next cat. Sure, there’s a bit of continuity and whatnot, but this really isn’t the sort of show that’s trying to deliver a deep narrative. It just wants you to have a good time, nothing more, nothing less.

No one told any of this to Tom Hooper, apparently. This director of the grounded, gritty, realistic adaptation of Les Mis was tapped to utilize this same style in a musical about magical singing cats, all while not even knowing what catnip is or how animation works. Hooper was apparently constantly butting heads with the VFX team due to his lack of understanding of how animating works. He tried to get the team to watch videos of cats performaing the stuff he wanted and forced them to give 90 hour work weeks, cementing Tom Hooprt as one of the biggest douchebags imaginable. On top of all this, the guy tried to weave this plotless showcase of felines into a cohesive narrative, and tapped a bunch of talent of various degrees of questionability to play parts. And what was the result?

An absolute disaster. The film was savaged by critics, with most positives being that the film was so bad it’s good. The film (of course) won a bunch of Razzies, and was the subject of mockery and memes before, after, and during its run in theaters. Hell, as soon as the trailer dropped, the film was mocked to death. Not helping was the rushed VFX which, again, was due to the team being under pressure from a draconian idiot who had no idea what he was doing. The film received an unprecedented bug fix, so to speak, in the form of an updated version with slightly better VFX that was shipped to theaters after the initial negative reaction. This obviously did nothing to help the movie’s reputation, of course. Hell, even in my initial review, I wasn’t super keen on the film. Most damning of all, though, was Andrew Lloyd Webber himself calling the film ridiculous, and even said "The problem with the film was that Tom Hooper decided that he didn’t want anybody involved in it who was involved in the original show."

But after ruminating on it, and after watching the film once more, I’ve decided to ask the usual question: Is it really that bad? It’s weird to ask this about a film that’s so new; I usually wait for hindsight to kick in, and look at older films considered bad. But even now, Cats is building up a reputation as a campy cult classic, with such figures as Martin “LittleKuriboh” Billamy watching the film with alarming frequency. And after reading the nightmarish behind the scenes and considering everything… yeah, I think this film deserves a re-evaluation.

This is going to be a little different, though: I’m sort of going to go through the film part by part, since this film has an interesting issue where, generally speaking, the first half is where the worst problems are, and the second half is where things start to pick up. So let’s get the bad out of the way first, then move onto the good.

THE BAD

So, I’m actually not going to pick on the VFX too much, and not just because of the horrible treatment of the VFX artists. In all honesty, the weird human/cat people, while not even remotely as cool as the insane costumes of the stage show, eventually stop being super distracting and kind of just become something you accept. Like, I’m not gonna pretend like this work is amazing, but I dunno, I think it gets harped on too much. There is some stuff that stands out as noticeably bad, though, and we’ll get to that.

A consistent problem with the film that I can’t even try to defend is the problem with the scaling. It’s seriously hard to tell how big these cats are supposed to be in relation to anything else. They honestly seem to change size from scene to scene. It’s seriously weird and baffling and there’s never any way to get a good sense of scale. Even when the cats are alongside mice and roaches, it just boggles the mind what size anything is actually supposed to be.

Mr. Mistoffelees, one of the most flamboyant and enjoyable characters of the stage show, is one of the biggest character issues with the film. Gone is the tricky, confident magician who prances and dances, and here is a meek, sniveling twerp who can barely do anything without tripping over himself. This is because the actor who plays him had a terrible audition that left him miserable due to a lack of singing and dance background. So, rather than find someone who could, you know, sing and dance, they decided to rewrite Mr. Mistoffelees into comic relief, which is just an insulting slap in the face. The cherry on top of course is how they straightwash the character and excise his homoerotic tension with Rum Tum Tugger, instead making him completely and totally straight and giving him a thing for Victoria. Out of everyone in the entire film, they did Mr. Mistoffelees the dirtiest.

Now, let’s get onto the actual “plot.” The film actually starts out fairly well, with some cool shots, good dancing, and some setup for Macavity, whose intro has a neat little nod to the fact he’s based on Moriarty. The issues don’t really start showing up until we reach the first of the Jellicle choices… Jennyanydots.

Jennyanydots is portrayed by Rebel Wilson, which is the first issue. Rebel Wilson is probably one of the worst actresses ever. She is just a horrendously, relentlessly unfunny human being, and she brings that exact quality to her role here. For her song, the vocal talent is secondary to the cringeworthy comedy Wilson puts on display. And yet, somehow, Wilson isn’t the worst part of the scene. No, that would be the horrendous CGI human-faced mice and roaches, which look like they came out of a PS3 game.

This horrendous spectacle is followed up with the appearance of Rum Tum Tugger, portrayed by Jason Derulo. I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I do think Derulo has the necessary egotistical celebrity swagger to play Rum Tum Tugger (especially when you consider he responded to negative criticisms of the film by calling the movie  “one of the greatest pieces of art ever made”) and his design is actually one of the better ones in the film, but on the other hand, his singing and the musical choice for his song are not very impressive and really just doesn’t work all too well. It’s at least something of a step up from Rebel Wilson and her CGI abominations, but that’s not really saying much, is it?

Next up we have Bustopher Jones, played by James Corden and, if I’m being totally honest… he’s not quite as awful as he could be. Corden is basically the male equivalent to Rebel Wilson, but at least while he’s singing he manages to be somewhat amusing, whimsical, and enjoyable even. The problem comes when he throws in jokes, including one where he claims to be self-conscious about his weight… a joke that occurs in the middle of his song where he is bragging about how fat he is. Talk about sending mixed messages. I wish I didn’t have to be so harsh on Bustopher, but sadly he is bogged down by really bad shtick.

Bustopher Jones also highlights a problem with the cats in this first half. These minor roles – Jennyanydots, Rum Tum Tugger, and Bustopher Jones – are all being played by relatively big celebrities, and as such they’re going to want a lot of time to sing. As a result, songs that were ensemble numbers on stage become more one-man songs here, with Bustopher Jones being the most egregious example, turning this positive fat character into a walking James Corden fat joke as he sings his own praises rather than having his praises sung.

Following him up we have Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, who are usually fun characters with a fun little pseudo-villain song, but alas, they manage to screw that up by using a slow, jazzy version of the song originally used in earlier London productions rather than the more up-tempo version from later productions, making the song sound awkward and forgettable. Topping it all off is the bargain bin Mr. M popping in at the end for some wacky shenanigans, but at this point, the movie takes a turn towards…

THE GOOD

So as soon as Dame Judi Dench shows up as Old Deuteronomy, the film gets a sort of inverse of what happened at the start. Where the film starts somewhat awkward and promising, it slowly gets stupider and stupider when Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, and James Corden botch their scenes in the ways described above. Here, things start a bit shaky and unsure, but Dench is a sign things are about to pick up. What makes her so enjoyable is how, despite how utterly silly things are, she treats her role with the dignity and gravitas of something out of Shakespeare. The only thing as good as an actor in a silly movie like this going full-on ham and cheese is an actor treating their role dead serious and injecting it with such class and dignity you can’t help but enjoy it. Thankfully, Dench isn’t the only person to take her role seriously.

Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella technically appears briefly in the earlier portions of the film, but here we get to hear her belt out “Memory,” and by god does she do a fantastic job. The raw emotion and passion she injects into Grizabella is phenomenal, and it’s even more powerful when it comes back for its reprise in the finale. Victoria gets a sort of response song to “Memory,” called “Beautiful Ghosts,” and it’s a decent song in its own right, but you can tell it was a more modern composition and it just doesn’t gel super well with the rest of the songs. Still, all this is good stuff, and the “Memory”/”Beautiful Ghosts” scene is a nice, refreshing bit of emotion after the incredibly weird and silly extended dance number that is the Jellicle Ball.

The movie doesn’t stop pulling punches; shortly after Grizabella we are given Gus the theater cat, an elderly actor whose number is all about reminiscing of the old days of theater and his many stellar roles from days gone by. Naturally, the only actor who could possibly perform this role properly is Sir Ian McKellan. I am completely unironic when I say this: This is to McKellan what Patrick Stewart’s performance of Xavier in Logan is. This sounds ridiculous, but think of it: Gus is an aging thespian, clearly a bit senile and desiring to be reborn because he has reached the end of the line, and McKellan fills him with this genuine, incredibly honest performance that really makes you feel emotional. It’s powerful. It feels so personal and resonant, like McKellan has inserted some of his own feelings into his performance, which may very well be the case. Oh, and after his song Macavity kidnaps him with a big autograph book and apparates away while saying his name, which gets me every time.

And now, my friends, the lord and savior arrives: Skimbleshanks.

This is, hands down, the best scene in the entire film. Everything comes together here: the music is absolutely fantastic, the dancing is choreographed extremely well, and it’s clear that everyone involved is having a blast. This is a concentrated essence of what Cats should be, and it’s really a shame Hooper didn’t understand that this is the energy needed for the entire production. The most crucial element, of course, is Steven McRae, who not only has a lovely singing voice and looks dapper as all hell in his red suspenders, but is a tap dancing maniac. This man has feet of fire, and his tapping adds a whole new layer of fun to the song. Overall, this is a perfect scene, and probably one of my favorite scenes in any film ever. For a brief four minutes, everything about this film works. I literally have no idea why this cat wants to be reincarnated, he is straight balling in this life.

But the hits don’t stop! Right after this song, Taylor Swift descends from the ceiling, and we get “Macavity.” In the stage productions, this is a song sung by Bombalurina to describe how nasty Macavity is, since she’s traditionally a good cat; here, she’s reimagined as a villain, and so this song is basically her acting as Macavity’s hype man, singing his dastardly praises, and best of all, Macavity joins in at the end! I’m certainly not a Taylor Swift fan, but she really kills it here, and definitely makes this one of the best songs in the movie with her hilariously forced accent and insane energy. It’s just a shame that from here on out Macavity ditches his villainous pimp coat and is now a nude Idris Elba, but I suppose this is equivalent exchange for Skimbleshanks being so amazing.

While not as incredible as the previous two songs and not quite as good as the stage version due to the removal of the latent homoeroticism, Mr. Mistoffelees’s song is actually okay. It’s nice that he gets to sing his own praises here, but it’s just nothing compared to the stage version, even if it has a fun little finale and it actually is genuinely heartwarming when Old Deuteronomy returns and sings along. It’s a sweet moment that almost makes up for how much Mr. M has sucked the whole movie. Oh, also, all of the Jellicle choices Macavity kidnapped fight back against their captor Growltiger, with Skimbleshanks aggressively tapdancing at him and Gus using his acting skills to make him fall into the Thames. This is so goofy that it wraps back around to being awesome.

The movie winds down in the goofiest way possible after the gorgeous reprise of “Memory,” with Macavity being caught on a big sculpture and apparently running out of magic, leaving him stranded like a regular cat. Then we get one final fourth-wall breaking song where Judi Dench directly addresses the camera that has the music swell up to the point where it seems like the song is ending numerous times without actually ending, and each time is funnier than the last. Really, what better way could you end such a silly film than with this?

Now, a general thing that’s great about the film is the choreography. The dancing in the movie is spectacular. I don’t really have a bad thing to say about it. And, in a broad sense, the music is good too, even if the singers aren’t always perfect, the backing tracks are great, and there’s a lot of fun in the tracks in the latter half of the movie. McRae and Taylor Swift’s contributions in particular are great, and Hudson’s version of “Memory” is incredibly powerful, as is McKellan’s take on Gus’ song.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

No.

Look, it’s hard to be like “Wow this is a fantastic masterpiece of film” or anything like that, because the movie has blatant and evident problems. But this is literally the reason I made this review series; I’m asking if the movie is really as bad as people say, and in this case, no, there’s too much genuinely enjoyable in the film for me to say it’s deserving of several Razzies and a spot on the Bottom 100 of IMDB that places it above Master of Disguise and The Emoji Movie. Like, seriously? This is worse than the 90 minute commercial starring the abusive dick who called a bomb threat on his girlfriend? Hell, this movie is rated worse than Artemis Fowl, which is definitely a contender for the worst film ever made (and amusingly enough also features Judi Dench in it). Artemis Fowl has next to no redeeming qualities in it, and it certainly doesn’t have Skimbleshanks, whereas Cats has several fun scenes and also has Skimbleshanks.

I definitely think there’s more of an argument for this film being so bad it’s good or camp at best, but it’s definitely more enjoyable than you’d think it would be. If you can learn to live with the weird CGI, it’s a fun, goofy romp that you might find yourself feeling for at times. After my second watch, I have to say… I’ve started to unironically enjoy this movie. It might even be one of my favorites of all time. I can’t even deny that it has a lot of stuff I don’t like, and it falls flat in a lot of ways the 1998 film soars, and it screwed up some of my favorite characters… but there are so many moments where the fun and heart of Cats shines through brighter than it has any right to, and all the failures of Hooper and Universal seem distant for a just a few minutes.

So yeah, is this movie good all around? No way. But is it fun, does it have value, and is there more redeeming qualities than the critics let on? Oh yes there is.

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 17: 2x26 Assignment: Earth

Finally finished up S2 of TOS yesterday. That was... a rough episode tbh. I’m just gonna say it: back door pilots are bad! They’re bad. If I wanted to watch that other show, I’d watch it.

Wow, they’re just really jumping right in, huh? “Here we are, on a routine mission into the past, using a time travel method that we invented nbd.”

Investigating desperate problems in the year 2020...2016.... no wait 1968.

Ooh, Spock in the transport room today. Does he have a whole extra random station there? That’s so weird; I’ve never seen that before. It’s like hidden in the corner.

Cat!! Cat!!

What a good actor. I’m still bitter that wikipedia has a whole section about the casting for “Isis the cat” that talks entirely about the human who played Isis for 2 minutes and nothing about the talented feline actor. Where did they find her? How did they teach her to act?

She has a lot of thoughts about Kirk.

I wrote down “Scully, you’ve got to see this” in my notes and I’ve already forgotten what it refers to lol. Some moment that I thought would fit well with my favorite x-files meme.

Change history, you say? Spock is intrigued. ...Admittedly, Spock is often intrigued.

“What if it turns out you’re an invading alien from the future?” Honestly...let him invade. You’re not supposed to be here anyway.

I’m pretty insulted by this. The aliens went through all this trouble to help in 1968...where are our alien helpers NOW?

The cat straight up attacked his face.

Kirk is so fond of Spock being fond of the cat.

“It’s a lovely animal. I feel myself strangely drawn to it.”

Kirk is way too confused by Seven--an allegedly human person with super-human abilities that he says come from aliens--and yet, he’s met Charlie X so??? Is this not the same?

Kirk’s got the whole crew checking in on zoom.

(I actually do like this sequence of him getting video calls from different parts of the ship.)

“Weren’t orbiting H-bombs a huge problem in 1968?” Looks at the camera like he’s on The Office. Not the subtlest bit of writing in the “social commentary” genre. I do say this with love, though. I always enjoy when they comment on contemporary problems.

“He has a totally perfect body.” Lol don’t distract these two bisexuals.

[soft meowing]

“The prisoner has escaped.” The way this is shot, it looks like he’s talking about the cat.

Hmm, I do love the decor. Very 60s. This honestly immediately feels like a different show, and a much more dated show; even when the Enterprise time travels, it tends not to time travel to... office space.

Love the little sounds the computer makes.

So is Isis supposed to be one of the fancy aliens? It’s never explained but one must assume she is.

Aw, he’s petting her paw.

So I assumed the cats sounds are real, but just dubbed. They’re not lol. Which I guess isn’t surprising: this cat makes a lot of noises! They were provided by a human voice actress.

Damn.... I want a secret bookshelf that turns around to reveal a super computer with a big screen. “Computer... play Netflix.”

That’s what Seven does in his spare time.

The computer is an AI. “Beta 5 snobbery” lol.

Where are OUR alien overlords to stop US from destroying ourselves before WE can mature into a peaceful society?

This is really masterful exposition lol. Not forced or awkward at all.

ST sure does love the snooty female computer trope.

“Get us the proper costumes.” Yes, get Spock his Requisite Hat.

Omicron IV....that’s one of the names they use in Futurama lol. Such nerds.

Another excellent Spock Hat.

I love Seven’s various IDs. Great style. I wish my driver’s license looked like those.

“Who do you think you are?” He hasn’t decided yet. That’s why he was shifting through his IDs.

Seven is not smart lol. Like, he should have figured out way faster that this lady isn’t one of the Alien Overlords. He asks her the code question, she doesn’t understand it, and he... assumes she’s just really in character? Dude, that’s what the code questions are for!!! To help you identify people! Otherwise you could just straight up ask: are you an alien?

Instead he’s like “oh, you silly alien, you’re playing with me,” and then is forced to trap her, reveal his whole mission, and ultimately ensnare her in his plan.

I want that typewriter. Voice recognition typewriter.

"My incompetence has made you aware of very secret devices." Well at least he knows.

Trained cat!

The alien overlords were killed in a random car accident. That’s ironic.

Oh look, a real rocket!

Brown pants + short sleeved shirt + tie is such a Classic 60s look.

This security guard doesn’t think it’s weird that this random dude has a cat with him? Is this part of Isis’s alien power?

Except for the part where it’s a weapon, it’s pretty cool to see all this build up to, like... launching stuff into space. Exciting.

Isis likes to be on shoulders. Just like Little Guy.

New hat for Spock. His outer wear hat, and now his fancy hat. There is something to be said for this ep, and that is Kirk and Spock in suits.

Amazing how they literally launched rockets with computers that old. Like seeing the big bank of primitive computers is totally wild. We put people on the moon that way! Amazing.

“Meow.” Lol, Isis is stressed so she’s speaking like a cat. That’s a pretty funny joke actually.

Seven is so incompetent. If he’d just let the Enterprise help, Scotty could have fixed that rocket issue in like 3 seconds.

Lol everyone’s just pulling Gary through space. Now on the Enterprise. Now in the office.

Why does this computer have a hug black screen if it only displays images on the small white circle?

"Spock and  I in custody. Main characters, doing nothing, knowing nothing, totally useless and irrelevant. I have never felt more helpless." Literally what is even the point of them today? Does Spock even have lines outside of “I like the cat”?

Isis is jealous of Roberta. Is she.. in a relationship with Seven lol?

Uhura is listening to everyone in the world. She probably has a universal translator on, but I do feel like this scene implies she just...understands all the languages.

So now the warhead is armed and heading to somewhere vague... in other words, everyone has collectively made the situation worse.

....Or this was Seven’s plan all along? To scare people into ceasing to be so careful with nuclear weaponry? As someone who knows humans better than this guy, I think this is a dumbass plan.

“That’s why so many people in my generation are kind of crazy and rebels.” Same, sweetheart.

Really this is just a story about bad communication. If Seven had told Kirk his plan upfront, Kirk would have helped him. And if Kirk weren’t so insistent on involving himself in something just because he happens to be somewhere he probably shouldn’t be, we wouldn’t have this issue either. The hubris of everyone.

Overall, just a really forced narrative imo.

Or that’s how it was supposed to be lol. The Irony of time travel. By it’s nature, everything has already worked out.

Kirk and Spock are like “You’re welcome. Peace out.”

Honestly... Isis was the only good part. Such a talented cat actor!! Or trio of cat actors, I guess. Had to do all those stunts and stuff.. .amazing. I also liked the concept of Isis. How she turned into a human later just to troll Roberta. How she’s never really explained--one must assume, an alien? Plus I pretty much never get tired of human + animal teams where the animal makes animal noises and the human just understands and answers in English.

As a stand alone sci fi concept...it was okay. Kinda dated by now. The alien tech was nifty and Roberta could have grown on me. Maybe even Seven, though he left a lot to be desire. That said, the narrative relied a lot on people getting in each other’s way for no reason, which I find very frustrating.

But as a Star Trek episode....no. The main characters were just nuisances on the side lines!! I’m not even sure what Kirk’s mission here was--to try to figure out what Seven was doing? And stop him if necessary? But he never really decided if it was or not, until the point where not trusting him would basically cause a nuclear war? I don’t know, I found it all very frustrating. The melding of the original show and the spinoff was not smooth.

If I were watching this in 1968, I’d feel very cheated. THIS was the season finale? That’s it? I don’t even get a real Star Trek episode and now I have to wait months for anything new?

And what I get after all that waiting is Spock’s Brain?? I’d be tempted to quit. If I had a tumblr in 1969 I’d be writing multi-paragraph rants about how the best show on television has completely nose-dived lol.

But then there’s The Enterprise Incident, which is one of the best episodes... I don’t know, man. It’s a conundrum. I’ve only seen maybe half of season 3 but from what I remember it’s very uneven: some of the best eps (The Enterprise Incident, For the World Is Hollow, Day of the Dove) mixed in with some of the worst (Spock’s Brain, The Paradise Syndrome), plus some that are good concepts but shoddily executed (The Way to Eden). So we’ll see what I think about it when I see it all in one piece, in air date order.

[snowdice]

Snowdice BINGO 5 Voting

Okay! Prompts are in and it’s time to vote. You will have the rest of today and all day Sunday to vote. I separated the prompts by universe. You have 3 votes which you can apply in any way you want. So, you could vote for 3 different prompts, give one prompt 3 votes, or give one prompt 2 votes and another 1 vote.

You can submit in an ask, reply to this post, or reblog this post.

Make it clear what you’re voting for, please! So do something like.

A-2, M-1

T:3

S1, B1, L1

The prompts are under the cut and separated by universe!

Block the tag “bingo 5 votes” if this annoys you!

Cops and Not Robbers AU

A: Roman, Logan, and Dee get into a mission that goes wrong in the most hilariously ridiculous way (similar in mood to the Roman-Remus mix-up)

The Dangers of Stereotypes

B: Remus and Patton being lovable goofballs and Logan has to deal with them.

The Prison You Deserve Universe

C: Virgil goes home, but, for the first time in a long time, he's not alone.

D: Virgil bakes cookies for the first time, with a little help. Shenanigains ensue.

Cuffed

E: Virgil gets caught in the crossfire between Remus and Logan and is hurt or drugged or something from their shenanigans. They immediately drop the fighting to look after him.

Road Trips and Everything in Between

F: Teen Janus having a nightmare and Remy comforting him?

G: Janus meeting Virgil for the first time in Road Trips.

H: Janus and Remus apartment hunting.

I: Janus and his series of firsts for the Patton-nappings in post-road trip. The first where he actually knows what's going on, the first where Pat came just for him and not because he was there too/Virgil wanted to get his bro, the first he & Pat are at base and they sneak off together to get Virgil (poor Lo), his first (w/ or w/o V) nabbing of Pat, or the very first Janus-involved one where he's there when Pat comes for Virgil but was not aware this was a thing yet, ect.

Birds of Different Feathers

J: More of Janus and Remus’ relationship

K: When Patton and Virgil got together

L: Virgil’s perspective from Kill Dear when he was first captured. An outside impression of the camp and the conversations with “the enemy” would be very interesting, if it included him and Janus being awkward it would be wonderful

M: Janus' perspective on Logan during the first week of captivity in Kill Dear.

N: Remus maneuvering to ensure people leave Roman out of the shadier parts of military life. Choosing to become the dark hand of the north.

O: Virgil trying to escape to murder Roman during Kill Dear and Janus having to foil his plots.

Labeled

P: Virgil actually gets in trouble in senior year thing from your ‘Labeled is making me sad’ post? (That is the following thing I wrote: Virgil does get in actual trouble at school in his senior year. (The principal is a bit leery of calling Patton at that point.) He and his teacher got into a disagreement in a chemistry lab. It was a perfectly civil and Virgil wouldn’t have gotten into trouble about that. Except… then the words “here I show you” came out of his mouth and… he started a small chemical fire despite his teacher’s vehement protests. Logan was like “…Patton you’re going to have to pick him up because I will not be able to physically restrain myself from high-fiveing the child.”)

Q: Patton's first parent-off/bake-off ect with a member of the pta, maybe during or about a bake sale. (Bonus if some of the ladies are over there admiring the view of his hot af professor husband who's helping set up, which is not at all getting in the way of dealing with Karen and her dang muffins. Honestly.)

 R: Logan and Virgil turn training into a real-life game of Fruit Ninja (with or without superpowered lightsabers).

 S: Virgil seeing Patton’s home office and the mess that it is for the first time. (Referring to this: Patton also has an office in the house. Well. An “office.” It’s actually a dinning room that they never use. It’s sort of a marital compromise. The rest of the house is clean and organized, but Patton is free to live his natural life in the office. He does actually use it as an office space when he writes papers and stuff. It also has his sewing stuff, painting supplies, and a small television. Papers from 20 years ago lie crumpled in the corners. There are half finished hats from when he wanted to pick up crochet. Missy hides treats in there when she can’t get to the yard to bury them.)

T: Logan’s class while he’s going through the adoption. Moments of memes, their unflappable professor being late or distracted or confused. Preferably with a Roman or Remus Cameo.

U: Virgil and Emile's first appointment

V: Virgil begrudgingly asks Remy for advice for his first date. (Original prompt is a date with Roman but it doesn’t really work so it’ll be a date with a random side character.)

W: Bluebird buys Virgil a sandwich

X: Familial Virgil & Logan & Patton. Word prompt: “sugar,” “shoo fly pie”, and “messy.”

Author’s choice

Y: Virgil sometimes wears his big headphones without actually listening to music so he can hear what other people are talking about when they think he can’t hear them. He accidentally hears them planning a surprise for him and he has to act like he doesn’t know so that he can continue listening in (cuz it’s calming to know that people aren’t talking bad about you at any chance they get) and everything’s super sweet

Z: A dramatic heist thing where Virgil, Patton, and Roman try to steal some Crofters from Logan. Bonus points if Remus barges his way in, insisting that he be the demolitions expert.

aaa: Kid!Virgil makes friends with a raven/crow/corvid

bbb: Diesel Fuel, verse: any/all.

[iwritefanficion]

Could you do some Sanders Sides hcs with them comforting reader when she's sad? I'm feeling empty and sad myself, and I need some comfort... Thank you if you can -&

Of course, my dear! I’m sorry you feel that way and I truly hope this makes you feel better! I’m not sure if you want romantic or platonic, so I’m just gonna do romantic. 

Warnings: Remus

~

Roman

-Whenever you’re feeling down, you know you can always turn to the brave Roman! He will face any beast for you, even if the beast is yourself. 

-His first instinct is to coddle you with so much affection you don’t know what to do with yourself! He’ll hold you close, arms caging you in so all you can do is focus on him. 

-He’ll pet your hair, combing his fingers through the strands. If you’re sitting, he’ll move you to his lap and cradle you in his arms. 

-You can be sure he will pepper your face with kisses. 

-He’ll ask what’s wrong. If you tell him, he’ll listen carefully, comforting you while you do. If you aren’t up for talking, he’ll try to keep you occupied. 

-Roman will sing to you. Whether it’s Disney songs or just some soft melodies he knows, he’ll sing softly in your ear, easing all your troubles. If it’s not singing, Roman will talk to you. He’ll tell you about his adventures, about different ideas for videos, anything. He just wants to take your mind off all of your worries. 

-All he wants is the best for you. He wants to make sure you’re safe, you’re happy and you’re comfortable. He hates to see you upset. You’re the most important person to him, and the last thing he wants is a frown on your face!

-He has a very hands-on approach, which may not always be effective. If you don’t like him, all you have to do is tell him, and he’ll back off. The same goes for if you want some alone time. He may not understand why but he’ll definitely obey your requests. 

-He’ll do whatever it takes. No task is too big or small. Not when your happiness hangs in the balance. 

Patton

-Patton is the heart, so he’s much better at reading your needs. He can tell you’re sad even when you’re doing your best to hide it. He may not be great at reading and dealing with his own more unpleasant feelings but he certainly knows how to read you. 

-The first thing he does is ask what’s wrong. Why are you sad? Did something happen? What would you like? 

-He knows that assuming what you want could only lead to more trouble and be counterproductive. So he wants you to be clear with him, even in tears. Do you need anything to drink? Do you want physical affection? Do you want a shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? Some cookies? Alone time?

-He’s the best at doing whatever he can to make you feel better because his instincts are always spot on when it comes to emotions. 

-Desperately wants to know you’re okay. You are his first priority, and although he wants to curl up to you and tell you everything is okay, he’ll wait until you want it. 

-If you do give him permission, he will bring you the comfiest spot in his room, with warm blankets, hot chocolate and cookies, and just snuggle with you. Whether you only wish to cry, or maybe sit in silence, that’s fine. If you want to talk, he’ll listen carefully. 

-He knows, at this stage, to treat you delicately. Hold you close, press gentle kisses to your face, neck and shoulders. He’ll pet your hair, nuzzling his face into you, just to give you some peace. 

-Will try to cheer you up with cheesy puns. Even if it makes you crack a smile, he feels satisfied. Your happiness is his priority and everything else will be at a standstill. He also won’t let anyone else bother you while you’re in the state. 

-He might not like to deal with his own sadness but has no problems helping you with yours. 

Logan

-If you come to Logan when you’re down in the dumps he has two immediate thoughts:

-First: Ugh. Emotions. 

-Second: Why are you coming to him with help for emotions?

-However, as soon as he gets past those two general thoughts, he’s more willing to help you out, even if he had no idea what to do. Poor confused baby. 

-He’ll ask you a series of questions to try and get a better handle of your situation and what you would like him to do. Things like: do you want to be comforted? Would you like to talk about your problems? If you do, would you simply like him to listen or offer advice? How would you like to be comforted? Would you like physical affection?

-The list could go on. Once he gets a better sense of what’s going on, he’ll be happy to help in any way possible. You are the person he chose to give his “heart” to. Even if he’s not 100% comfortable with the situation, your happiness takes precedence. 

-If you want physical comfort, he’ll lay with you on the bed, letting you curl up with him however you want. If you don’t, he’ll let you lay on the bed while he sits on the edge. 

-His next objective is to distract you from the unpleasant thoughts that seem to plague you. If he can reach a book, he will open it and start reading to you. Just give you something to focus on, instead of letting your mind get overwhelmed with your own emotions. 

-If he can’t get to a book, he will simply tell you random bits of facts and tell you about some fascinating stuff he learned. It doesn’t really concern him whether you’re really listening or not, he’s just trying to use his voice as something for you to keep your thoughts straight. 

-The moment you want affection, he’ll give it to you. He’s usually not the most affectionate person in the world but that will change the moment he knows you’re not in a good place and you need to be comforted. 

-He’ll kiss your head, running his hands up and down your sides and back. The moment he feels your body stop shaking and the sobs stop coming out, he’ll let out a small sigh of relief and let a tiny smile cross his face. 

-He’ll do whatever you want so long as it makes you happier. 

Virgil

-He’s a mix of both Patton and Logan. If you come to him while you’re in distress or crying, his first reaction is to panic. Why are you crying?! What happened?! Did someone hurt you?! Are you upset with something he did?!

-He’s not sure what to do at first. Do you want to be comforted? Or will touching you make you more upset? If he asks you what’s wrong, will you be mad at him? Or do you want to talk about it? The last thing he wants is to stress you out more, and the possibility of that makes him itch with anxiety. 

-However, once he figures out exactly what you want, he’s really good at comforting you. If you want to be held, he’ll plop you on his lap and embrace you. He’ll tell you everything will be okay and press kisses to your head. 

-If you want him to, he’ll sing to you. He’s not big on it like Roman but if it’s for you, he’ll have no problem singing. Since he too loves Disney, he might sing those or just some other songs in a quiet voice or even hum to calm you down.

-The best out of the others in giving advice. 

-If you’re crying because someone made you cry, he will threaten to kill them. But, that’s for another time. His main focus is on you… for now. 

-He knows how it feels to be overwhelmed with unpleasant emotions, so he also knows how to handle them. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable and you feel safe, no matter what. And although he’s not super physical, he will hug you and cuddle you and let you use him as a teddy bear. 

-If you don’t want to talk, and if you’re feeling up to it, he’ll put on some music or even give you a pair of headphones to block out everything else. Sounds and the outside world can be overwhelming, he knows that all too well, and music is a perfect distraction. 

-He will try and make you laugh if you need cheering up. His dry, sarcastic humour will definitely crack you up if you’re in the right mood for it. And seeing you laugh will make pride swell in his chest. 

-Virgil is great at dealing with negative emotions because he has to deal with his own all the time. So, he knows all the tricks. 

Deceit

-When coming to Deceit when you’re upset, he’ll act calm and collected, but inside, he’s freaking out. What if he says something that makes you cry harder? What if he lies to you by mistake and hurts you? He’s not exactly well-known for being comforting. He usually causes panic. 

-But, he’ll sit you down, and if you allow it, place an arm over your shoulders, and try and talk to you. His first attempts are to calm you down, speaking softly and clearly to try and get you to stop crying. 

-If it doesn’t work, he’ll begin to silently panic. So, he’ll use his skill of being persuasive to his advantage. One way or another, he’ll get you to talk or even just listen to his voice and calm down. 

-He’s less physical in his approach, for your comfort or for his own. He prefers to use words to help people- more specifically, you. Though his shtick his being deceptive, he doesn’t have to lie to you, especially when he compliments you. 

-To make you smile, he will tell you everything that he loves about you. He’ll tell you how gorgeous you are, how he loves your voice, how wonderful your smile is, how your eyes mesmerize him. Not a single compliment that he tells you is a lie. It’s genuine. 

-If you do need physical affection, there will only be a little bit of hesitance. He’ll let you do as you please, he just might not start it. He’ll be a shoulder to cry on, a teddy bear to cuddle, a pillow to hug, anything and everything. It may be a little uncomfortable for him since he’s not used to it, but he will gladly do it if it makes you feel better. 

-He’s great at distracting you. He’ll tell you a bunch of random things, trying to draw your attention from what’s going on inside your head. Things like his day, ranting, the weather, anything. Whatever pops into his mind. 

-This snake may not be super talented in the comforting department but he cares enough about you to try. 

Remus

-Absolutely the worst person to help you when you’re upset. Not for a lack of trying, believe me, but he just… isn’t great at it. 

-If you’re not in the mood for it, his humour and antics can just make things worse. However, if you are the type of person who appreciates his humour, it can work. 

-But if you’re sad, you probably don’t want to hear about Remus getting fucked by a werewolf or taking two dicks at once or something.  Even if you find him amusing most of the time, these things generally don’t help. 

-If they don’t work, Remus is smart enough (shocking, I know) to see that his usual personality isn’t helping. So, he’ll change things around. His loud gestures and eccentric behaviour quiets down. 

-His next instinct is to wrap his arms around you. He always finds physical affection comforting, so wouldn’t you? Again, completely depends on the person and the mood. There is a very good chance it could work. 

-But if affection isn’t what you want, then he’s lost. Comforting words and advice isn’t really his strong suit. Panic sets in. What should he do?? What should he say?? He silently begs that someone- anyone- shows up to help. 

-There is zero chance of him getting any better at words, but he will try. He’ll tell you how gorgeous you are with tears and snot on your face, how great you are with dealing with him- just, anything nice he can think about you.

-His compliments are a bit weird, but he means well. And honestly, if he didn’t love you, he probably wouldn’t try. 

~

Well, this took forever. It’s not my best work, so I’m sorry it’s so short. I’m bad at comforting people and had no idea what to do. Also, happy holidays and happy New Years to everyone! Sorry for the wait, I’ve been kinda busy. Thank you for being patient! I love you all!

[bemusedandconfused-blog]

Claire watches Asian dramas: Esports/Video Games Edition

As I’ve mentioned before in my post about spooky rom-dramadies, I tend to enjoy shows better if there’s a larger plot and higher stakes at play than just the relationship stuff, whether romantic or otherwise. Here are three dramas set in the world of video games and pro-Esports that I’ve enjoyed!

King’s Avatar (2019)  全职高手

This was my first esports-themed drama, and I really, really liked it. The drama was a great mix of sports tropes and video game culture, and all the characters, including Yang Yang’s character, the “Battle God” Ye Xiu, experience growth over the course of the show. I’m thinking about rewatching it, or catching the anime version (released in 2017).

Pros:

The pacing of the show is really pretty good. Action kicks off right away, and there are nice ebbs and flows throughout.

The side characters are a lot of fun. I love the rag-tag team that pulls together, and you can tell that all the competing teams were well developed in the source material (novels), and each have their own individual personalities. 

Great depictions of female professional esports gamers. 

No awkward shoehorned in romantic storylines! 

Cons:

A couple random telenovela plot twists that come out of nowhere. 

Predictable sports-film cliches are unavoidable to a certain extent. 

If you’re not into actually seeing the video game fights and animated sequences, you may get annoyed. I really liked those scenes, though!

Love O2O (2016)  微微一笑很倾城

This Chinese series again starring the almost-too-handsome Yang Yang is a great show for someone who wants to experience the growth of a cute, lovey-dovey romance with relatively little interpersonal drama or roadbumps on the way to Happily Ever After. 

Pros:

Overall plot setup - they main couple meets in a video game, and they are both top players. The male lead runs his own software development company with his buddies (they are seniors graduating college), and must make his game a success in the competitive business world.

Secondary characters: I like that both the female and male lead each have their own friends and relationships outside each other. 

Best side couple in a Chinese drama yet: Hao Mai and KO (in the novels apparently these guys are most definitely a gay couple. In the show, due to Chinese censors, this is not explicitly stated but very strongly suggested. They are too damn cute!)

I like that the main lead female could stand up for herself in gamer society.

Yang Yang is very pretty.

Cons:

The female lead is portrayed very woodenly. There are some super awkward one-sided kissing scenes that are quite cringe-worthy.

The last episode is mostly just ewwww because the male lead is portrayed as super controlling and I really did not like it.

The male lead is adored by all the main characters and it gets kind of annoying toward the end. He also lacks interesting character traits besides “being good at everything and being really handsome”. 

Secondary female lead and her romance storyline was awkward. That cat was NOT okay (in one scene it’s panting), and it distracted me as a viewer. I had concerns for how animals were cared for on-set.

The show could have been improved if it felt like the male lead had to struggle a little bit to achieve his goals. Mostly it just felt like if he put in the work, inevitably he would be successful. I would have liked to see a little more character growth and self-reflection from him. (Experience real setbacks, learn from them, have moments of doubt, overcome them, that kind of thing). 

Go Go Squid (2019)  亲爱的，热爱的

The show I just finished this afternoon is my second favorite after The King’s Avatar. Set in the world of professional CTF (”Capture the Flag”) cybersecurity gaming, it finds a nice balance between the romance  and the esports storylines. The main leads have great chemistry, and the secondary characters are very cute too. I would highly recommend this one. 

Pros:

Characters have emotional depth, and get to grow and change over the course of the show. 

I like the depiction of the female lead, and how even audience expectations are subverted. 

A nice balance of how both male and female leads are shown to be brilliant and popular in their own ways.

I love how paternal the male lead is towards his team of kids. <3 

I like the portrayal of the parents a lot, for both leads. 

The pets are adorable and friendly, and seem very happy and healthy on screen!

The ending is super adorbs. Sugary sweet fluff to rot your teeth. 

Some really catchy songs are part of the OST for the series. Worth looking up on their own!

Cons:

The last few episodes were very male-lead centric, and I would’ve liked to see a bit of the reaction of Little Squid’s followers. 

The stuff with Team Solo in the early episodes throws off the pacing a little (slows things down in awkward places). But its not bad, and is important to the overall story. And that kitten is ADORABLE. 

There’s a 10 year age gap between the lead couple, and while it’s part of the plotline and addressed very directly, if that’s not your jam, here’s your FYI. 

CTF is not nearly as exciting to watch as “Glory” (in King’s Avatar, basically a fictional World of Warcraft-style game), so the competition scenes are pretty brief and hard to film in a way that the viewer can get excited about. 

[coeursetcolores]

What I Would Add/Change About: Dead or Alive 6

Hello internet! As you probably know, I love video games and I would talk about my feelings for the ones I’ve played for hours. Unfortunately, I don’t pay too much attention to the various gameplay and added content mechanics, so I don’t feel as though I’m qualified to give full-on reviews; my focus is usually on the story and characters, but I am learning to keep a more open eye. So, I’ve decided to start this series! On the anniversary of a game I’ve played’s release, I will talk about what I think a game could have included to improve certain elements or what I think they should have just changed all together about something in it. I will make sure to include what I liked about it as well to keep these from getting too negative. 

This is all just my own personal opinion and if you disagree with me, that’s perfectly okay! If you’d like to talk about a point I made, please let me know, but please try to respect my opinion as I respect yours.

Fair warning, I won’t talk about online stuff. I’m not an online gamer, that’s just not me.

Well, with out further ado, let’s get started!

Today is March 1st. Two years ago in 2019, Dead or Alive 6 was released. Bet you guys didn’t know I was fan, did you?

Yes. Yes I am. And there is one thing I love more than that entire series all together.

Kasumi.

I love that woman.

I have yet to see any other woman that I would even consider loving as much as her.

Amazing main, best girl, gripping protagonist, top-tier waifu.

But back to the subject!

Almost seven years since Dead or Alive 5 was released and left it’s audience wanting more, today we ask: Did it live up to seven years of expectations?

For me...

YES! 

...Mostly.

I had a real fun time playing when I could (I didn’t have constant access to the console I played it on, don’t ask) but even with how polished the series has gotten, there were a few things that left a sour taste in my mouth. 

Let’s go over them, shall we?

SPOILERS AHEAD!

To keep a positive spin on this criticism, I’m going to talk first about all the things I absolutely LOVED about the game:

IT’S. STUNNING. The graphics look amazing, and the slow-motion and visible injuries along with DOA5′s sweat and dirt gives the fights such a weight, it’s brutally gorgeous and I love that video games have reached that level of detail. 

Voice acting is good, and I’d have to give best performance to Karen Strassman’s Helena just for her after fight in Kokoro’s story mode because. My gosh. The way she begs Kokoro not to leave her is just heartbreaking, and to do all that while doing an accent is just amazing.

Funniest part of the game was definitely when Zack told Tina she couldn’t be governor. I love how he just shot her down in a whole series of her dad failing to drag her away from her wild dreams through fighting, Zack accomplishes it just by reminding her how the law works.

Kasumi is safe! ...Apart from all the evil clones sent after her. But Ayane is finally leaving her alone!

Helena in the ending. My gosh, the way she just shuts NiCO down and calls her out on failing to move on healthily is a good message about properly dealing with grief and really shows how much she’s grown in the series from the vengeance seeker she started as.

I genuinely liked the addition of Marie Rose. She had a cool design and her character was really charming. The team could easily have made her super annoying, but she was pretty solid, and I appreciate that.

Kokoro’s dress with the beret. It’s just too cute!

I still love kicking opponents off the stage.

Still glad the series hasn’t decided to sink into hyperrealism.

COLORS! ...Those are dying in video games. :( 

The story for the most part is interesting and every character gets to shine in their own special way.

Diego was really cool, I always love the addition of an untrained street fighter keeping up with these professional martial artists, it really goes to show that in a fight anything can happen.

I really loved watching Tina and Bass become a tag team, aww! Tina does love her daddy!

The costumes, as always, are awesome.

Vibrant backgrounds, as expected.

The fact that it happened! I was worried I’d never see my sweet Kasumi again!

Alright! Now that we got all the things I unquestionably loved about the game down, here are some things I feel the game was missing.

ADD:

MORE KASUMI! If she’s your heroine, give her more screen time! (What do you mean I’m biased?!)

Have some more time with Kasumi, Ayane and Hayate, show just how conflicted they are by their tragic circumstances when they have to work together when they all know that they will never be able to go back home together. That ending scene was bittersweet, but I feel like they could have done more.

Bring Bayman into the alliance? I mean, he does want revenge on Phase 4. I get that he kinda works with them, I just think they could use him more.

Have Kasumi have a fight with the main Phase 4? I think it’d be interesting to have this clone weapon, who hates that she hurts people, face off against the original who’s now accepted the brutality of the world and will show no mercy to those who stand in her way. I feel like it’d give Kasumi some introspection and see just how much she’s changed; in a way, Phase 4 is a lot like how Kasumi started: she didn’t want to hurt anyone and make enemies, but she couldn’t do anything about it. The difference is Kasumi became the way she is because of her own choice and beliefs while Phase 4 literally can’t stop herself.

Have Lisa explain herself, geez! What is up with this woman?! What are her goals exactly?! Wait...how is she still alive?! Woman straight up had a building fall on her! Why are we just letting her walk away?! LISA!! GET BACK HERE!! WHAT’S YOUR DEAL WOMAN?!!!

So...I guess we still don’t get to beat the crap out of Donovan? Sigh...guess they’re saving that for 7. Hopefully.

And that’s all I think they could have added. And now, here’s everything I think they should have thought about twice.

CHANGE:

Really? You’re just going to bring Raidou back for the final boss? Really?  Why not use prime Phase 4, that would have been interesting, a final boss who doesn’t WANT to be the final boss? Come on DOA, you’re better than this! You had seven years to make a final boss! If you couldn’t think of one, just go DOA2 and pull something random out! There’s even another tengu you could have used! Who even remembered Raidou at that point?!

LESS. HONOKA. My gosh, she’s annoying! I’m sorry, I’m sure she has fans, but she just irritated me! Not only was she shoehorned into the plot, but she’s also a total Mary Sue! And that voice, AAAAGGGGHHHH! This is not a knock on Kira Buckland, she’s cool and great at her job, but AAAGGGHHHH! With so many three-dimensional and interesting characters, she just falls flat (metaphorically, of course).

Was Nyotengu actually necessary? I get that the tournament itself is just a distraction now, but she honestly bored me.

Why does Helena’s mother need to come back to life? Seriously, what did M.I.S.T. see in reviving one of the mistresses/mothers of their rival? Is this supposed to like torture Helena or something? This was just unnecessary, there was no reason for this. Sorry Maria.

Oh, so Rig’s mind controlled now? Would have been great if they had foreshadowed that in 5. You know, so it wouldn’t have come out of nowhere and helped explain his whole 180 when he was introduced!

Does Jann Lee really need another rival? Just focus on Lei Fang, she’s awesome!

Bit more meta, but did Rig and Christie really need new voice actors? The new ones are fine, but it just seemed unnecessary.

I’m really mixed about how story mode is laid out in modern DOA. On the one hand, putting everyone’s stories in one playthrough really makes it hard to really get attached to one, which I think is a very important aspect of fighting games. On the other, doing it in this style really helps keep the general plot coherent and easier to follow. I think a good way to handle this would be to make different story modes; a campaign to follow the whole vs. Donovan storyline and a different one that has each character’s individual story outside of the main plot.

Alternatively, divide the story between the tournament and the fight against Donovan; ‘cause I don’t think the Mugen Tenshin clan and their allies are going to be in any tournaments anytime soon.

BRING BACK UNLOCKABLE OUTFITS! Outfits may be understandable for DLC, but it’s just so much easier to unlock them all! I’m not made of money!

Even with all these negatives, I still had a great time playing! It was great to see the cast I loved so much (with one in particular) come back and beat the crap out of each other and I can’t wait for the next one!

...In five years.