#a teaser would be everything we need rn

[chirpsythismorning]

Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?

[xxsabitoxx]

Pretty Witch | Kinktober day one teaser

Kitsune Giyu x AFAB Witch Reader

A/N & Warning: This is just a small teaser! The full fic will be posted Sunday!! As always, this teaser will contain smut but the full fic will get proper warnings cause I’m lazy rn :)

Does this count as monster fucking? LMAO

That was the thing you failed to remember about Kitsune… they were clever creatures who enjoyed mischief. The ancient guardian before you had over a millennium to perfect his craft, that much was clear. “Pretty witch, I am devoted to you and you alone. What more could you ask for?” In truth, nothing. He was presenting you with everything you could ever desire and yet your stupid morals were still holding you back. “Tomioka… I don’t want to rush you into anything… we just met…” the fact that you had quite literally just met was the only thing holding you. You would likely continue to sound like a broken record even after you gave in. 

“We’re not rushing anything, pretty witch. I’ve spent years alone with nobody to hold, not a single soul has been successful in summoning me and yet you did it by mistake. It would be my honor to serve and satisfy your every need… so please… pretty witch… let me taste you.” he had you completely entranced now, noses nearly bumping as he had managed to move closer without you realizing. “Please, pretty—” you stopped him easily with one word “yes…” you breathed out, watching his lips part in surprise before a real smile curled his lips. “Wonderful.” 

You made a noise of surprise as his lips roughly crashed into your own. His hand was still holding yours, fingers intertwining now as you used your free hand to cup his jaw. Tomioka’s free hand came up to hold the back of your head, as if afraid you would change your mind and pull away. He already couldn’t get enough of your taste, tongue sliding past your parted lips to sweep into your mouth and collect every drop of your sweetness. You must have had something with honey, a sickly sweet taste he hadn’t gotten the chance to experience in centuries. You whined as he groaned, lapping feverishly at your mouth and your docile tongue. 

[wintaerbaer]

things we don't say: part 5 TEASER (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 721 (for the teaser; full chapter is expected to be 8-10k)

chapter warnings: weddings!, feelings, seventeen is here now because i fell into a rabbit hole and needed fill-ins, jimin kinda ruins everything, jk is relatively well-behaved, kissing?!

a/n: given that it's been the craziest time of year for work (and i may be focused on a jk oneshot rn), i figured i'd throw out a teaser since it's taking me longer to write! i'm heading into my job's off-season soon though, so i'll have more time to write and will aim to have this next part out by end-of-year :)

PART 4 // SERIES MASTERLIST

You look up to find Taehyung's eyes gazing steadily down at you, a small but confident smile playing on his lips.

"Dance with me?"

And in spite of the unease that had plagued you only moments ago, you don't hesitate to let him wrap up your small hand in his large one and lead you to the dance floor. His palm settles on your lower back to pull you in close, and maybe it’s the proximity or the intoxicating smell of his cologne that weakens your resolve, but you find the words spilling out.

"Did you get her number?"

Taehyung looks at you quizzically, brow furrowing in confusion. "Whose?"

"The woman at the bar."

His face relaxes as he realizes. "Oh, yeah. I did."

"Good." You manage a smile. Why does it feel so hard? "It really is…good you're getting back out there. Are you going to ask her on a date?"

He laughs, mischief in his eyes. "I don't think her fiancé would like that." And now it's your turn to look confused.

"Her fiancé?"

"I met the two of them through Hoseok a couple times so we've chatted. Nice people." He nods his head, and you look over to see the woman now dancing with a man not too far from you. "They just got engaged, and she knows I'm a photographer so she asked if I'd be interested in doing the wedding. I said I'd call her this week to talk about it."

"Oh." You can feel your face flush, but there's no doubting the relief that floods through you. And Taehyung surely notices, grinning down at you in amusement.

"Were you jealous?"

"No!" you say, but perhaps a little too quickly because Taehyung laughs, his fingers applying a gentle pressure to your back to pull you closer.

"I'm here with you," he murmurs matter-of-factly.

You shake your head at him. "It's fine, Tae. If someone catches your eye…like I said, it could be good—"

"I'm here with you," he repeats, more firmly this time. He releases your hand for a moment to tuck a stray curl behind your ear, and you have to look away. You spot Hoseok and Sunny swaying together in the middle of the dance floor, pressed closely together and smiling at each other like they're the only two people in the world. What it must be like to have someone look at you like that, you think, to hold you like you're something precious to be cherished. You had thought Jace made you feel that way, but now, watching your friends gaze at each other so delicately, so in love, you're no longer sure he even came close.

"What are you looking at?" Taehyung's voice rouses you out of your thoughts, and you suddenly notice his hand has drifted a little higher to where the back of your dress dips down low, exposing your bare skin.

Trying to pass off the shiver that involuntarily runs through you as a nod, you gesture at the newly married couple. "They're so good together."

Taehyung follows your line of sight, watching Hoseok lean down to murmur something in Sunny's ear that makes her giggle and press her face into his chest. "They are."

"Can you imagine loving someone like that?" Your voice is a bare whisper as if the words slipped out of their own accord, like a wish you didn't even realize you were making.

Taehyung's fingers splay at your spine, gently tugging you in until your hips are bumping his. Startled, your eyes snap back to him, breath catching in your chest. He's gazing at you intently, but as opposed to the intense fire that you've seen from him at times, there's only a deep warmth to his brown irises that you're not sure you've ever seen before. He looks at you with softness, with both a sense of familiarity and wonder that can only be attributed to your many years of companionship, and you see it all swimming behind his eyes—every day spent together seeking refuge from your families, every stupid childhood fight, every time you comforted each other through the bad days. And before you can deflect, can explain away the question as a rhetorical slip of the tongue, you hear his answer come out on a breath.

"Yes."

[ar3s-r4t-qu33n]

My Thoughts and Theories on the new Rush Week Teaser!!

• New Johnny outfit!!

Obviously based on the 'Wildflowers bring out the rattlesnakes' quote from the Lore Stream by Ronnie Hobbs

Hopefully it's not event exclusive and we can wear it all the time because 👀

Maybe new fits for the whole gang? That'd be nice.

• The music reminds me of 80s horror and we are yet to hear about a frat/Sorority house being attacked on the radio. Obviously, there were the three girls in Plugerville, but I feel like we know all about that already? He broke in, killed one, got his scar, and escaped and is now wanted, probably his biggest failure ever (sorry Johnny baby but you get ahead of yourself way too much). That would date this to be the October of 1972.

That leads me to think this is set in the future maybe? Either still 1973, the Halloween after the game, or possible even in the 1980s.

It's a big jump, but with the almost definite arrival of Choptop, it might bridge some of the aesthetic gap between him and the rest of the family (I'm not saying we're about to time jump the whole game 10 years, but just visually speaking)

• New Characters!

I have a feeling we'll be locked in to play as Johnny as he hacks and slashes his way through (possibly like a Hitman mission? Like, he has to complete a certain goal and not get caught??)

But it's POSSIBLE that we are at the University of Texas and we might get to meet June, Sonny's girlfriend

Or like I said, set in the 80s with a brand new cast of victims to either play as in evading Johnny (unlikely, at least to me) or to hunt down and kill as Johnny

The blonde girl reminds me of a TCM OC I've seen before. This is a HUGE stretch, but POSSIBLY she's her..? Heavily doubt it but it'd be really cool since people really want that OC in the game

• Set during Halloween

Meaning it HAS to be either PRE Maria's disappearance (before March/April of 1973) or AFTER her disappearance AND the movie (August of 1973)

Still clinging onto the hope that she's alive

I'm thinking possibly that Johnny has killed Nancy and run off with Hands? It'd make the leather jacket make sense

Not that it needs to, Johnny would totally wear that as is

But if I hear him mention a 'gal back home', I'm losing my mind-

I'm just saying, him killing Nancy and taking off with Maria after everything would be a perfect ending to me, whether she's traumatised or not (I didn't say she had to be all hunky dory, girlie will be BROKEN after all of this but I just cannot see Johnny killing her off, not after he and Grandpa and everyone else have gone through so much effort to keep her alive)

Those are all my main thoughts rn for the teaser!! We literally don't know anything about this game mode yet, but making Rush Week be like, Frat/Sorority Rush is such a fun idea since the story is so connected to the University of Texas. And like, it probably IS the Plugerville incident, but idk, I'm holding out hope for a little bit more, ig?? Idk. Let me know what you guys think, I'd love to talk theories and ideas!!

[sunghoonsslut]

H&H (Teaser) 18+

Pairing: Heeseung x Innocent Reader (AFAB)

Wc (teaser): 691

Final WC: sitting at 7k rn with barely any smut so 😅 expecting 15kish

Warnings (teaser): SMUT 18+ MDNI (no smut in this teaser but in the full fic), Religious themes/Religious Guilt (please don’t read if any of that that makes you uncomfortable), corruption kink, more when the fic is actually fully posted

Posting: End of June/Beginning of July probably (subject to change)

Taglist: I don't think I'll be doing a taglist unless a lot of people are interested

This fic won the poll so here’s a little treat 🤭

Dragging his Feet Heeseung makes his way down the hall at a slow pace reading over one of the group chats he was in, Jay and sunghoon on either side of him as the group walks talking, Sunghoon fighting off the lingering hangover effects. “I told you not to drink so much,” Jay reminds his friend who groans waving him off with a head shake, tinted glasses resting on his face to avoid the fluorescent lights enhancing his headache.

 “I would have just skipped this lesson but apparently it’s ‘Incredibly vital for the core of the entire class premise,’” Sunghoon quotes with a grimace massaging at his temples to quell the pounding. “So next time you should actually listen to me instead of taking another shot,” Jay takes it as a moment of triumph with a smile earning an eye roll from the younger. 

Heeseung can’t help but laugh raising his head from his phone and adjusting his bag eyes scanning the hall, perking up in an instant, the moment he spots you, you’re not exactly hard to miss in the crowd of people, standing out like a sore thumb, dressed in complete coverage even with the heat that continues on into the early months of the semester.

“Hey I’ll catch you guys later,” He pats his friend on the shoulder leaving Jay mid-rant over how his finance professor is an ass, Sunghoon watches the way his friend moves his way through the body of other students weaving his way over towards you. “If I had to guess that’s the Quote on Quote ‘Religious Nut’ He was telling us about,” Jay’s eyes follow over to where Hee slips next to you casually.

“Yeah, I think you’re right on that one,” Sunghoon hums watching Heeseung walk away in the complete opposite direction of his class. “Must be down bad,” Jay mumbles before continuing where he left off about his teacher.

“Hey, you should come to this party we’re having,” Heeseung throws his arm over your shoulder walking with you almost too naturally as you look over at him on your side. Casually directing you in the direction he’s walking, attention shifting from getting to this next class towards him.

 Caught off guard you give him that usual surprised wide-eyed look before answering “Oh is it someone’s birthday party?” You ask with a smile lighting up at the idea as he pats you on the head lightly.

Innocent, is what comes to mind chuckling a little “Nope it’s just for fun, it’s what we do around here,” 

“Oh I see, I don’t know I think I have a paper to work on,” you explain thinking of the mountain of work you needed to finish, and a big quiz you desperately needed to study for.

Heeseung stops halting your movements at the same rate unprepared. You have to grip onto his waist to stop yourself from catapulting forward “Aw come on, at least show up for me, I swear we’ll have a fun time,” he promises bottom lip pressed outwards into a pout.

“These are the experiences that make College memorable, give you a taste of that freedom you’ve been craving,” he reminds you of one of the earlier conversations you had, that longing for normalcy and to do something you never imagined.

You hesitate remembering all the warnings, the stories, everything that screamed run “Okay then,” you say as if on autopilot caving to the way Heeseung asks watching the smile overtake his face satisfied it didn’t take much more convincing.

“Perfect! And Have Mae dress you up, she knows exactly what to wear to these events,” Heeseung explains, taking in your appearance the long skirt you have on practically touching the floor, your ankles not even visible matched with a long-sleeved blouse that reminded him of something he once saw in his grandma’s closet.

“I’ll text you and Mae the details later, now get to class safe,” He lets you go running off to whatever class he had, leaving you dizzily to finger out how far you had walked past your class thanks to Heeseung’s distracting, having to backtrack down the hall.

-------

A/N: This is just one of the scenes I will say Heeseung will be pretty Mean/Manipulative in the final thing with a couple soft moments but overall meanish so be warned of that when the full thing does get posted <3

[rosetyphooon]

hey guys ramble time bc i needto ramble and i am very very afraid of bothering others also maybe spoilers idk so here we go yippee but ohhh my god arcane i am freaking out i am quaking in my boots i am shaking with joy i am in a fucking state of pure bliss i am so excited for season 2 omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg obviously theres going to war n shit like no duh but i cant eait for the super epic cool battle between jinx and vi like thats gonna be epic and all the etasers arggg i love picking them apart idc if im reading into them toomuch i love them anyways for starters i love the way its all connecting like i am a sucker for the way everything is coming to tgoether n shit like in the teaser where we see vi and cait together preparing for war you can notice all these small little details that are actually from their leagues skin (caitlyn wearing a skirt n the collar thing or wtvr and vi having the big ass jacket collar and random ass pink ruffle on her waist) so thats super duper amazing cool epic yes also in the teaser trailer theres a small snippet where i think theres viktor and hes using hextech (i might be wrong it might not be viktor but who cares) to start his lil revolution thingy majigy so YIPPEE also in the teaser trailer vi is wearing claggors goggles such a cte detail to me starst sobbing teehee anywas i love ambessas part in this and even tho i dont have much to say abt her rn i hope she has a big part in the whole war thing!! also theres gonna be so much war ik s1 was gonna getting us prepared for all the war like theres a bunch of things in s1 that all signal war is abt to happen and yippe fictionalwar my favoruite slash joke ALSO SEVIKA oh my god sevika in the trailer she fired jinxs gun???? whaaaat?????? plus theres a shot where you can kinda see her arm (robotic one) and its brand new and looks to be designed and graffitied on by jinx which is super interesting like perhaps some jinx and sevika stuff??? do they get along??? so excited so so so very excited for that i love sevika guys also the painted mural of jinx is super interetsing to me especially since its shown right after we see ekko andohhh mygod vander is warwicklike ik we knew that months ago but oohhh my goodddddd big werewolf gonna fuck his daughter upfor kinda switching to piltover over zaun (pls warwick and vi fightscene i'll do anything) okay enough rambling for me i'll probably reblog and add more whenever i feel more need to ramble abt how much i love arcane YIPPEEE forgot to mention it but the fucking poster image wtvr of the rverse jinx holding vi is super cool to me bc unlike the first one where vi was looking away while powder was looking directly at the camera now they both face the camera and vi has this terrified look on her face and ughewsdjfejsdf GUYS!!!!!! i have so much to say!!!!!!!!! most of this was just me rambling abt all the teasrer but get ready for theories and analyings soon /hj

also heres a link to the arcane twitter account fi you would like to see all these teasers urself -> arcanes twt

[callsignspark]

Ik this isnt part of the ask game, but would you consider showing us how you outline in Trello?? It looks so freaking effective!

I have been waiting for someone to ask me this question. thank you so so so so much you’re going to regret asking lmao

so as I said before I use Trello - a free cloud based project management tool - to outline and write my fics (and also for my to do list and my Christmas present shopping and vacation planning and literally everything) because, to be 100% honest with you, I have no chill. I have never been relaxed about anything. ever. not a single day in my life. and therefore I marinate on fic ideas in my mind for months (sometimes years!) before I start doing anything with them. this is my process I use for everything I write and we’re using Mar[r]y Me as my example!

the first thing is the idea. I get an idea and I word vomit vibes into the closest thing (notes app, google doc, scribbling into my work notebook, texting a friend) and then I marinate on the idea. I first had the idea for Mar[r]y Me on January 25, 2023. it went through several iterations as I shaped what it was going to be and below is what I sent to Jordan in June 2023 and it’s the basis for the story we’ve all been following. (or mostly, it’s changed quite a bit since then.)

once I’m ready to start writing I create a board in Trello. think of a board like a white board, you then add “cards” which I think of as sticky notes except with a lot more features. also my process is the same no matter if it’s a one shot or a multi chapter fic, it just depends if it gets its own board or it goes into my one shot board. (which is filled with ideas waiting to be written lol) anyway. this is the Mar[r]y Me board!

for a multi chapter fic like this each chapter gets a card in the IN PROGRESS list (they move to the right as things get written/posted). each card follows a template: title, due date (loosely assigned to get an idea of what a posting schedule may look like), a label (always being with need to plan), and a checklist. also the chapter outline - obviously.

before I get into the outline, I use the labels as a nice visual representation of what the status of everything is. as the screenshot below shows, the each writing stage has its own color (and I use the color blind color schemes so I get the fun patterns too!) and it gets changed as we go along. it helps me know at a quick glance where everything is at the moment.

I also love the checklist feature, see below. which basically has all the steps I need to follow once I have a chapter written and ready for final editing. it may seem like overkill but I work long hours and you’d be amazed at how easily my brain forgets things lmao. so this ensures nothing is missed when I’m getting ready to post.

now onto the outline. my outline goes from something super basic, to a few bullet points, to an in depth summary of what’s going to be written. using chapter one as an example of this progression.

1. this is the og outline for the whole story. just a dream and a vibe and one sentence. literally.

2. the expanded outline for chapter one

3. just a small section of the final outline I used to write the chapter. a lot of my final outline ends up being actual sentences that I use in the final draft, I basically write the chapter in bullet points and unfinished sentences.

4. I use the very expanded outline to write the actual chapter. following along bullet point by bullet point. an example from chapter 9 since that’s what I’m writing rn.

5. once everything is written, all the bullet points have been used up or ignored, I transfer it into google docs and read it to myself, editing as I go. once I’m happy with my final rough draft I use grammarly to idiot check things because I’m an engineer not an English major. then I start using the checklist (teaser posting, creating tumblr post, etc.) and then the worst part. I walk around my home office and I read the entire chapter out loud to myself and make final edits as I go. is it excruciating to have to listen to myself speak the flirting I’ve just written out loud? yes. have I made myself cry multiple times? yes. do I find a lot of rough spots and smooth them out? yes. that’s usually done on Thursday nights.

6. from there it’s all final editing and formatting and scheduling the final post. I also have to create the accompanying recipe post for Mar[r]y Me so I do that too. and we post on Fridays! sometimes I share the google doc link with friends so they get an advanced copy of the chapter and sometimes they get to be surprised with everyone else (I’m running behind schedule and don’t have time to share it lmao)

it’s a lot of work for something I’m producing for free but I genuinely love it so much and it helps me keep everything straight. there would be so many lost ideas and abandoned thoughts if I didn’t do it this way. it’s crazy that this the first fic I’ve ever written and that I’ll probably be close to 90k words by the time it’s finished.

if you’ve made it this far thank you for indulging my very intense brain and it’s processes. I love the community we’ve created here on this blog and I’m so excited to keep writing and sharing. and I especially want to give a big thank you to my very good friends Ames, Alexa, and Jordan. Mar[r]y Me would not be the story it is without them and I can’t thank you enough for your love and encouragement during this story.

[storiesofsvu]

Alright, it’s finale time. Is anyone else nervous?

I think I’d likely be more nervous is paramount hadn’t released SO many fucking teaser stills from the episode. And I’m not even talking about ones from this week, the one of em all covered in soot and dried blood was released WEEKS ago. And most of the main team has the “Meredith grey/olivia benson effect” where we know that nothing serious is going to happen to them so there’s no stakes when they are about to get shot/blown up/etc.

But then they go and release even more promo pics that are practically spoilers.. like.. what are y’all even doing? At least the tik tok person knows how to run shit LOL.

Anyways, here we go!

Oh GOOD! He’s hallucinating again… wonderful

Okay… what fucking kind of game is going on here? Is frank bullshitting? Are him and jade working together? Who’s actually playing hardball rn??

Okay at least this answers the question of what happened to her vest lol.

“shes injured” I think she’s relatively okay girl, she’s just knocked the fuck out, she’s been through worse..

Ngl it would be a helluva good plot twist if peter b WAS just doug bailey under a different name and he was still alive. I need a fucking INSANE plot twist like that in one of my shows

Im also ngl, I’m hella here for unsub jade. I wish she would have been the primary unsub for the season, a female is bad ass enough but someone as young as her is awesome.

UGH YES BADASS PRENTISS, THANK YOU. Uuugggh yessss using that fucking big brain. I love her so much. I’m so glad we got to see all sides/layers of Emily this season and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the episode holds!

I feel like 55 minutes is NOT enough to fully resolve everything that has happened this season. Like, yeah I know that there’s likely gonna be a cliffhanger but come ON.

How TF is voit in THAT low security of a prison??? That looks like a cheap motel!??

Also.. im not mad about him being a regular (as long as he’s not imaginary) cause Zach is SO good and he’s charismatic and this season he really brought some comedy and major likeability to the character we hated last season

It doesn’t matter what I see doug bailey in he will FOREVER be the guy from Fired Up. Lol.

“the first time I was in the field I threw up…” “really?” “no. I was just trying to make you feel better.” LOOOL.

Jfc there are SO many times paget does her little tongue/lip tick thing

Man I was JUST wondering if we were gonna get more Phil Coulson this season or not

“can we turn down the testosterone for one second?” loooll Rebecca. I love you SO much. She just hates men.

So this ENNNTTIIIRRREEE thing could have been avoided if the director had just put his foot down and told doug no??!!! put the foot down for Emily and threaten her entire career she’s built but let little doug do whatever he wants to try and save  his family’s ass. Uugggh I hate it here

YEEESSS REBECCA WITH THE FUCK. She’s like, 5 foot 2 at the most and her dick is so big, I just know it

AHAHAHAHAHA again voit with the comedy, fucking clown, I love it.

OH MY GOD! The still of Emily walking away from brian she IS SO DONE WITH HIS FUCKING SHIT. She looks SO pissed

God bless everyone who gifs this episode cause I swear its darker than normal. You are all angels.

Emily being tortured like this should not be this hot. LOL

Also like.. a taser’s gotta be tame compared to a branding. Our girl will be fine.

“our special time in the cell”  *gags*

Oooohhhhhkay. THIS is why tyler’s in the field and in an fbi vest. Okay. I take back what I said to the besties earlier

How and WHY is voit not HANDCUFFED.

PENELOPE BEING THE ONE STARING VOIT DOWN OMG YESSSS (and even jj stepping up incase she needs to get inbetween them. LOVE that.)

Not her password (presumably) being a derek call back. This seasons REALLY did a good job calling back to previous cast! (now bring blake back you cowards)

Oh fuck you voit

At least we’re getting some kind of closure on this baugate shit. “neither does your wife” WHAT. Damn jj. YEEESSS DOM! FUCKING JJ COMING OUT TO PLAY. UUGGGHH everyone so fucking hot this episode

PAGET IS SUCH A GOOD FUCKING ACTRESS JFC

The tiniest hint of realization and fear flashing across her face?! Give her all the awards pls.

Okay that was some HORRIBLE continuity. Emily’s hair all mussed up, her bangs falling out of her ponytail all episode and suddenly one of them is curled PERFECTLY.

Holy FUCK luke thank fucking god

Tara and Emily in matching shirts.. girlfriiieeeends (they might not be the same but whatever lol)

“tell me if its real” this is legit our future on all sides of the law now, AI has come WAY too fucking far and it freaks me out.

Uuggghh jaaaadddeeeeee she’s literally been through so much hell and her breaking down to prentiss and Emily saying she knows exactly what she’s talking about and filling in the blanks?!!? UUGGH MY HEART

…where’s tyler… (like jj even said he would get to find out if Emily was alive and ….where tf is he??)

“I am a dad so I know a passive aggressive action report when I see it” HAHAHAH

EXCUSE ME? EMILY IS THE *SECTION* CHIEF!! WOW that mis writing

So…do they only have the budget for garcia’s apartment now?

Ohh.. okay and now tyler’s gonna be a series regular?? God they’re still fucking flirting and there are still vibes there and I do not hate it. Im so sorry.

“Hooray you’re alive” LOOOOLLL Emily deserves that cake like 4 times over

Okay im glad Rebecca and tara are back together and happy but I do really wish we’d gotten a little bit of the “offscreen” development on that.

Jfc the hallucination of voit JUMP SCARE

Okay so most of it got wrapped up pretty well. It looks like jade is getting some help, voit is likely murdered in prison (shade to the cm team who said “someone’s gonna DIE” and all of us were barely concerned and they just made it him.. like.. you guys suck at promo)

I’ll rewatch Sunday or later, but overall, I liked this season. There were moments I was not into it and episodes that I loved. Sometimes that was just the jumping around and sometimes that was likely me being too tired to be able to connect the dots. I wish we’d jumped into things a little quicker and had jade around for more of the season, but I’ll take what we can get!!

Now imma either gonna go start from s3 again OR I’m gonna start with blake’s seasons cause I desperately miss her and I do need to watch the later seasons again….

[cultofsappho]

WIP WEDNESDAY

I don't have a fancy banner for wip wednesday, but I thought the bi flag would do. I don't usually do these, and the rwrb fandom rarely has these posts, but idc bc i'm very excited about the rwrb fic im working on!

I'm going back to work on my art school AU after a long break from it, with renewed energy!

Quick summary:

Alex transfers to a private art school in New York and ends up sharing a studio space with Henry, the golden boy of the school who just got back from an artist's residency in Paris. Henry is everything Alex thought he'd be by now. He already has such a sucessful career, not having even graduated yet, and Alex can't help but feel behind in comparison.

Excerpt below the cut:

[this scene takes place during a crique in thier shared Figure Drawing class.]

.

“Yes, thank you for starting us off.”

Alex gives her a winning smile. “There’s a lot of talent here, everyone did really well for the first project. I’m new here, so let me know if I’m out of left field, but it looks like everyone, myself included, might have focused too much on the torso and not enough on the limbs. We’re all a little hesitant, maybe?” 

Sarah nods “I agree, good observation. Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to practice arms and legs in a few weeks. I might be able to squeeze in an extra session on that if we think we need it then.” 

Alex sees movement out of the corner of his eye. 

“Yes, Henry.” Sarah turns to him. 

“Just, on the same note,” His eyes dart to Alex then back. “Weren’t we to focus on the overall proportions this time, and not to get caught up in the fine details?” 

Alex scowls at him, he crosses his arms and looks away, back towards the drawings as if he were unaware of Henry’s tone.  

“Yes, that was the intent. But it’s also good to take stock of overall weaknesses as well, so we know how best to spend our time for the rest of the semester.” 

Alex bites his lip so he doesn’t smile. Get fucked, Mr. Perfect.

He inspects Henry’s drawing, looking for a weakness to exploit. His limbs are all on point. Elbows at the waist, shoulders just under three heads apart, accounting for the model’s lean build. 

It’s too perfect. There’s always a flaw. 

If he squints, he sees a hint of cross hatching on the edges, like Henry got bored too, and couldn’t stop himself from a little shading. 

Alex smirks and gestures to the piece next to Henry’s. “But this one- I’m sorry, I don’t know everyone’s names yet- This one is great. I can still kind of see how many times you erased and started over, whoever made this one is really focused on measuring. They have more patience than me, for sure. But the one next to it,” He gestures to Henry’s. “Is that shading? I can’t really tell.” 

Henry glares at him from across the room. Alex imagines steam coming out of his ears.

“Yes, that’s mine, I had lost track of the internal oblique muscle and used a little cross hatching on the edge to find it again.” 

Henry takes a step closer to Alex’s piece. He eyes it carefully, the corner of his lip twitching up. 

“You put a lot more emphasis on the skeleton than I did. I can almost see it peaking through.” It was a harsh dig; the model wasn’t skinny by any means. Meaning that- “I think it’s affecting the likeness. I don’t quite recognise Martin in it.”

Of course he learned the model’s name. Of fucking course.

.

.

.

I'm still working away at this, but I honestly can't tell how long this is going to end up being, so I'm hesitant to post ch 1 until I have more done!

Idk who to tag bc i dont which mutuals i have that actively work on fic... so, if you're working on something, please join and tag me in your excerpts!! or reply here so we can start this up in the fandom! the fic rec fridays have been so fun, time for wip wednesdays!!

If you made it this far tysm!!!! I'm! very! excited! (and currently working on some slutty ass pottery scenes rn tbh. just another teaser.)

Keep an eye out for this fic in the near future on my ao3: notcanoncompliant

[3nsider]

Ok before today's episode comes out (ep6) I'm gonna write all my theories(keep in mind these may not be original from me, just what i think might happen) on what's gonna happen for the rest of the volume, kinda like a RWBY bingo card but I'm too lazy to do that so I'll just list them here, get ready folks:

Ok first of all ofc bumbleby major confession/romantic scene (hopefully kiss plsss) today

Here's how I think the kiss is gonna play off: soft bmblb acoustic version in the background playing with Blake's hands on Yang's cheeks, Yang's arms around Blake's waist and the most corny and punny and a bit angsty conversation/banter ever. And for the rest of the volume they're gonna be holding hands, cuddling, touchy feely, making every place they get to the garden where they go bmblb style

Jaune is the original rusted knight from the girl who fell through te world bc the ever after saw he was too late and now his purpose is to be too early or on time for everything from now on

Team RWBY will face their v4-6 selves maybe in the cloud bridge to instead of facing who they are now, what they will become/want to be - i think here is where the bees kiss will happen at the end

On that note, that encounter or moment might make them face current fears and i want Blake's momentary loss of yang when she fell to be brought back dammit

I think summer ascended and has been part of the ever after

Little is either the ascension of summer or penny

The shadow person behind alyx in the portrait/mirror in the intro is a past incarnation of ozpin

That or they are alyx pre-ascension

Alyx for sure ascended and came back to remnant without her past memories

Neo might be alyx's whitewashed ascension that came back

Ppl that want to leave the ever after but aren't sure of their purpose need to ascend to be able to leave

Summer is the narrator of the story from the teaser we got 8 months ago

That or the narrating voice is from Jaunes mom telling him the story when he was a kid as a flashback of how he knew the story and motivated him to be the rusted knight until team RWBY arrived

There is a possibility that there's a loophole to ascend while retaining your memories, like wanting a new role that is very similar to your current one and that requires u to keep your knowledge

If that is the case, ruby could find crescent rose but ask the blacksmith to reforge it and she ascends with a new purpose but with her memories (she could combine crescent rose and her mom's weapon ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

Another possibility if there's this loophole, we could get them in their vacuo outfits early lol just wishful thinking

The curious cat might catalyze or prevent ruby's ascension

Neo could find the truth about Roman and then ascend and stay in the ever after

Crack theory but would be funny if it happened: since neo's goal is to get revenge on ruby rn, what if she creates a clone of her to kill and that technically counts as her fulfilling her purpose and she ascends against her will lol

After the bees kiss they better not get separated istg

We get a cathartic reunion of ruby and yang with summer

We get to see how summer fights with her axe in a flashback?

The original jabberwalker eats someone

That's all I can come up with rn but I'll add stuff/edit what turns out to be true and what not as the episodes air.

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE AND THE SECOND HALF OF THE VOLUME

BUMBLEBY KISS HYPEEE🐝🐝🐝

[saviorpilled]

HEY I SAW UR POSTS ABOUT GENLOSS AND IM INTERESTED IN WATCHING IT. just a quastion. what is it exactly

AOUGH OKAY THIS IS GONNA BE A LOT SORRY i am very passionate abt this rn

SO! generation loss is a 3 part horror/comedy live show created by ranboolive! he originally started planning it back in 2021 i think so its been in production for a bit

it also features a lot of other creators that appear like slimecicle, sneegsnag, jerma, nihachu, austinshow, ethan nestor, vinny vinesauce, valkyrae, sykkuno and other probably more that im missing </3

alex kister (mandela catalogue creator) appeared in some teaser videos, and nathan hanover (nhsynthonic, made music for just roll with it and dialtown plus a lot of other stuff!) did all the music for the show!!

because it is horror so theres a lot of typical horror themes in it like blood, gore, death, derealization (a lot of the story revolves around what we see being a show), scenes of torture, etc. the first episode is very silly about it, it gets a little intense at some parts during the second episode, and then all hell breaks loose in the third, so just be careful going into it just incase !!!! im working on a full list of everything rn but its not finished yet

all the videos are up on both ranboos twitch and vods channel (would recommend watching them on youtube if u wanna skip the intro countdowns). theres also the genloss youtube channel if u wanna watch the teaser stuff too, but i dont think its rlly isnt important to watch the streams now that theyre out. there is however a fun chose your own adventure style thing on there that i think is neat. also also theres a game on the official website that was also a promo thing. the websites rlly just for merch tho lol

i think thats everything u need to know going into it 👍if u have other questions i can answer :D

[jimimn]

🥴😭😳🤯😩 My god how to form words... I just rewatched the teaser and compared to that, the haunting choir was stronger in the YouTube shorts version and 🤯🤯 I lost my mind. The choir and the horror like harmonization that you mentioned sounds AMAZING. There is a really high female(?) voice in the very back, holding that note for like almost the entirety of the yt shorts and it literally just fucking catapulted me into the sun. There is a haunting vibe mix of Fake Love from MDP and the choir reminded me of that. I'm really really loving this song so far and they literally just showed us almost the same thing twice 😭 but I'm already so obsessed with it. AND THE DANCERS? LIKE PTD ON STAGE BLACK SWAN??? JIMIN IN THE CENTER??? And the dancers mimicking the choir's screams??? There is so much to unpack here, I need to go on twitter and find people who have the braincells to unpack all this 😂

And now back to my previous ask: Omg don't even mention Jimin dancing in water or rain to me 😭 I would d.e. Oh and yeah you're right, he probably has more outfits in the mv I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT 😭😭😭

I know exactly what eyes you're talking about and I hate him when he does that. I generally consider myself a soft Jimin stan b̶u̶t̶ l̶a̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ h̶e̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ m̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ m̶e̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ c̶l̶i̶m̶b̶ h̶i̶m̶

Oh, but then you also won yesterday as yoonminkook biased 😎 Yoongi with a puppy 🥺😭

ALSO DID YOU SEE WHAT PDOGG POSTED? Jimin is ending 2023 kpop??? AND WE ONLY GOT 2 TEASERS BUT I'D SAY HE ALREADY ENDED EVERYTHING?? I'm like kinda thankful the next thing we are getting (at least according to the schedule, I'm side eyeing bighit with the surprise drops because there is still a day tomorrow) is the actual mv because it'd be insane if I had to sit through another teaser and not have the actual song. And I'm SO excited to learn what SMF is about and his thought process and what kind of promotion he'll do and talk about his album and his experience and what he learned and maybe Joon will talk about the album too and i will just have so much Jimin content every day 🥺🥺 -🦋

under read more again lmaoo <3333

YESSSS the yt shorts version has stronger background vocalization. and yep yep it sounds like a high female opera like voice but its haunting dhjfhdj idk how to explain it. pls i feel like the song is really going to make me cry.. not just because of the lyrics that might be emotional but also because the intensity of the song might make me overwhelmed. it sounds soooooo energetic and aggressive rn im gonna be so overwhelmed when we finally get to hear the whole thing. AND YES. the dancers the formation the vibes i agree with everyone saying its giving fake love + black swan + on DGFHDJJFD. and the dancers have been posting stories of the teaser saying "the king is coming" and things like that i just think its gonna be fucking insane. omg yes if you find theories send them my way because i have 1 braincell which is all about jimin jimin jimin it is incapable for any other coherent thought <3 (and u did not hear me say this but the third paragraph in ur ask hahahahahahhahha same) OMG RIGHT i forgot they released the photoshoot sketch yesterday 😭😭😭😭 i only saw snippets of yoongi being an absolute goofball i am yet to watch the sketch but i will now after answering this <3 AND YES OFCOURSE I SAW IT. PDOGG. DO U UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS WHEN A PRODUCER LIKE PDOGG SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THIS? JIMIN DID NOT COME TO PLAY. two teasers and he's already made everyone lose their goddamn minds imagine what'll happen when the actual song will release. and god i agree i literally cannot wait i don't need to be teased anymore give me the song already!!!!!!! im sure we'll get joon talking about the songs he participated in when he comes live next hehe i hope he does <3333 and yes please i need to hear jimin talk about it too. i hope he tells us about the inside stories and his thought process behind the album and the songs i would love nothing more than to hear him talk about his art 🥺🥺🥺💖

[watsername]

alright my long awaited (nobody asked) thoughts on the new maneskin album as a bitch that had way too much maneskin on her Spotify wrapped.

OWN MY MIND - 7/10

I rlly fuckin vibe w this song . the instrumentals in my opinion are some of the best in the album . ive been walking about going do u wanna do u wanna own my mind to the point where its annoying ppl.

GOSSIP- 9/10

don't ask me why this song just has a little bit of girlypop to it. anyway I dance in my bedroom to this this is what this song was made for. drunk women to dance around in their bedrooms in a tshirt and underwear. do your sexy little drunk jumping dance throwing ur hair around u will have such a good time. tom morello FUCKS btw.

TIMEZONE - 8/10

made my cry what the fck . my u key is sticky btw I might jst be missing the u from words sometimes . anyway im a sucker for a rock ballad . the Spotify notes saying it was the least thought out song by dam as an anxious love letter,,,, my heart. the raw emotion in his voice. its gonna send me over the edge

`BLA BLA BLA - 6/10

this was probably my lest favourite from the album it just didn't make me feel any kind of way. is it a bad song by any means ? no I think its fun and the storyline of the song is rlly interesting in the whole depicting the perspective of the most toxic boyfriend and playing it in a way that ridicules him but musically it just wasn't my style as much as the other tracks were

BABY SAID - 8/10

BASS LINE !!!!!!!!!!!! SLAY !!!!!! its got a good build to it and i rlly like the overall song it reminds me of something but I cant place what . this is gonna be another one I end up dancing to . it feels like an updated version of a song that would be on il ballo della vita . u know . it has il bella della vita vibes. I fuck w it

GASOLINE- 8.5/10

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE !!!!!! genuinely I wanted it on the album since we got the teaser last year its such a good song with a powerful message the only thing is I wish it had a bit More going on like the heaviness of the song builds with every 'were gonna dance on gasoline' (and it did a little) so its just musical rock madness by the end if u catch my drift. its still a fucking banger tho and im so happy its on the album

FEEL - 7/10

this song reminds me of something and I DONT KNOW WHAT IT ISSSSSSSS. maybe its something 90s early 2000s but I cant figure it out. parts of the album have very britpop or like 90s rock vibes anyway the lil 'im about to make u feel' then straight into the guitars gets me pumped and I love it

DONT WANNA SLEEP - 7/10

big fan of the instrmentals and when dam shouts when he sings bt its just nit my fave from the album. I do love the dichotomy of the music and the lyrics and Thomas played w that guitar solo

KOOL KIDS- 100000/10

obsessed. very 90s britpop. the rawness the emotion behind it the fact that he was drnk when they recorded it the frustration with the sneering and snobbery of people post Eurovision the references to everything that happened over those weeks the 'eat my shit' at the end. its powerful what does it mean to be cool why is there so much pressure on people to look and act a certain way why do we have all these preconceived notions on people based on everything down to the music they listen to . I love it .

IF NOT FOR YOU - 10/10

im a scier for a rock ballad. the fact this was done in a one-take. the vocals the strings the instrumentals in general its just so gorgeous . im sobbing listening to it rn . I want this as my first dance as my wedding I really do I need to get my boyfriends approval tho. and he actually needs to propose first which won't be soon. I have time to convince him

READ YOUR DIARY - 7/10

I know that this is kinda a dark song about obsession but,, what is that melody . the chorus just goes so hard . its so good. AGAIN THOMAS BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER WITTH THE GUITAR SOLO !!!!!!!!!

MARK CHAPMAN- 9/10

Im still learning Italian. but this song fucks so hard. genuinely all of their Italian songs are amazing I don't thinks there's one bad one. but the pace the guitars the bass the drums (all of them basically) I love some fast paced rock I love his voice I love this fucking song . Thomas u fucking genius the guitar solo SLAYED !!!!!!!!!!1

LA FINE - 10/10

im quitte literally obsessed w this song. ive made my mm listen to it. I power walk to class listening to it. it has that Teatro d'ira vibes to it very much zitti e buoni in nome del padre moments kind of lividi Sui gomiti vibes as well and girl. thats my fave album. it fucks. this song . and I love how they use their music to discuss important issues and serious topics

IL DONO DELLA VITA- 7/10

the storyline of this song is so interesting in its awareness of appreciating the things you have and what's around you and appreciating the little things and I can see this being phenomenal on stage and being recognised worldwide . I like faster paced songs but I love this song and I think the way it all builds and comes to a climax at the end is gorgeous before it slows down again for damiano and vic to all it all together. brilliant

MAMMAMIA- 10/10

girl it was number 2 in my wrapped second to zitti e buoni. makes me feel like a whore makes me want kill someone in a sexy way its fantastic. sexy ass bass line too. bass player is ALSO sexy.

SUPERMODEL

I was torn on this song when it first released bt the more one been listening to it the more I like it . love the nirvana reference. low waisted pants on onlyfans I pay for that <- best part of the song .

THE LONELIEST- 9/10

this is my mums favourites of the ones ive made her listen to . she likes the music video as well. again I cannot stress enough that domino is such a talented writer his lyrics are genuinely so poetic so beautiful and the band are so talented at building around the lyrics to portray the same form of real emotion with their instruments as domino does his voice everything just fits together and it creates masterpieces. I love this fucking song

the fact that a 6 was the lowest rating here today. I love maneskin fr I believe what theyre doing is reigniting the poplar interest in rock music and they are going to go so so so far . theyre genuinely some of the most talented people of our generation theyre insane. I really hope they expand their tor dates for future tours bc one uk show in england during my uni exam season is killing my Scottish ass . im obsessed w their music fr.

[noys-boise]

fuck it. the whole ask game with &j. all of it. every single number. with &j

1. Favourite character?

probably Frankie, he's just so sweet and awkward and soscared

2. Character you dislike?

lord motherfucking montague lady montague too actually i hope they both die worst parents ever

3. Favourite ship?

MAYCOIS but honestly i love all the ships so much, maycois just hits different

4. Ship you dislike?

Juliet and Frankie romantically snd whatever other nonsense people made up I'm pretty sure Anne x Juliet is a thing too

5. Rare headcanons you love?

are there even common headcanons? one I'd say is more of a headcanon we don't bring up enough is Romeo eating just anything. anything he gets his hands on. parrot.

6. Common headcanons you love?

panliet, transmeo, is May hating puns a headcanon? it's lowkey canon. also are any of these common in any way.

7. Rare headcanons you hate?

there's not enough fandom for these i don't think. but like idk Juliet and Frankie having any chance of long term seeing each other romantically. like for more than a day after meeting

8. Common headcanons you hate?

idk

9. Character you hate fanon versions of, but love the canon version?

not really a fanon out there so not applicable ig

10. Character you hate the canon version of, but love the fanon versions?

i don't hate per say but i love what we've done with Lance he's more fun in our minds

11. What you would change about the source material if you could?

give us the virginal line back

12. Favourite fanfiction trope?

Romeo being a dork and Juliet loving him for it so much

13. Fanfiction trope you dislike?

Frankie being ripped apart by a zombie but who would write such a thing

14. What makes you immediately drop a fanfic you are reading?

i don't really read bad &j fics

15. What annoys you in this particular fandom's community?

that it's pretty much nonexistent

16. What opinion you hold that most of the fandom disagrees with?

idk if i even do? idk

17. A thing that fandoms do (in general) that annoys you.

we're just talking bout &j here do skip

I'm gonna do the writing oney too cuz live laugh love:

18. Ideas for stories/aus that you have, that you might or might not end up creating?

the au idea we had where the opposite characters lived we're probably not making this but it would be fun

19. What kind of story would you never write?

ships i don't like. never gonna put that in any of these timelines

20. Which character do you struggle with writing the most.

i think i write the &j characters pretty well? although i feel like I've been making Juliet a tad too aggressive in the saga lately? but like after everything it's fair

21. Are you writing/drawing/creating anything outside of fanfiction/fan comics? Do you have any original works?

not &j related (also I'm not really actively I'm all about the saga rn)

22. What is your favourite topic to write about?

well specifically in &j i love writing Romeo's complicated emotions about zombies

23. Share a piece of a WIP.

fineee you get a teaser:

“I got bitten but nothing happened” She explained. “Also I tried to kill myself at one point.”

“Oh, so have I!” Romeo replied casually.

“You both need therapy.” Fletcher noted. “Do you think we can find a therapist in the apocalypse?”

[starlightkun]

lmao i saw this on my dash and was wondering if you felt this way

https://www.tumblr.com/16woodsequ/727490027584667648?source=share

cause you rarely write drabbles, everything you write is like full fic length and takes longer and i see you posting little progress updates and little notes about each fic without spoiling. as someone who likes to talk (may or may not be the adhd idk) i cant imagine being in your position like WEREWOLF SUNGCHAN! EXISTS! IN MY MIND! AND ON THIS DOCUMENT THAT YOU CANT SEE! BUT HE'S REAL!! HE'S REAL TO ME!! like how do you do it? having no one to scream to about your fics when you're writing? and having to wait until its completed and uploaded to have people to talk about it with? like especially with all the crack fics you're writing atm, i would be BURNING with the need to show people how funny your writing is

p.s. medication update: im going to switch from methylphenidate to dexamphetamine tmr because apparently im intolerant to ritalin and i think you're on dexamphetamine rn? im hoping that i see some benefits from it. btw your success is keeping some of my spirit and motivation up despite how abysmal ritalin was for me so thank you for posting about how Adderall was for you i really appreciate having someone experiencing meds alongside me 🫶🏻

-✨anon

link

LMAO sometimes that's me and sometimes i'm writing and i'm like "im never letting another living human see this abomination im writing rn this is the worst thing i've ever written and the only penance for what i've done is to throw myself off a cliffside" like there is no in between im either SO EXCITED FOR IT AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT AND AM SO AKSEGKJHKJGKTR or i think it's awful and consider deleting it almost immediately after like this scene for changer2 im writing rn like literally as i got this ask (im not gonna delete it but she is gonna b HEAVILY EDITED)

it's fr so hard having werewolf sungchan AND hockey player sungchan BOTH IN MY MIND RN LIKE 🤪 screams everyday i put on my uniform to go fight in the idgaf war on the side of gaf 🫡🫡🤪🤪🫡🤪🫡🤪🤪🤣🤣🫡🤪🤪🫡 lest we also not forget that single dad kun is in here too and some other fellas that yall dont know abt like its soooooo bad in here for me

sometimes i contemplate posting random one-liners or snippets when i write things that make me teehee extra hard or r like rlly 🔥🔥🚨🚨🚨 but i always get worried about spoilers versus teasers soooo i keep it locked away all to myself and maybe go a lil crazy idk who's to say so i do more vague type stuff like talking about how there's a 2.6k makeout scene without posting any actual lines from it, or saying that one of my favorite character bits that i think is genuinely super funny is in dr. magic but not saying what it is, etc., etc., OR also doing ask games like word in a wip where y'all can try to get some lil snippets from me (which i feel i am always very generous with lol)

p.s. to ur p.s.: very happy to hear that you're getting switched off the meds that weren't working for you! i'm on "amphetamine salts" (generic adderall) which is a combo of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine, but pretty much yeah it's the big one in the amphetamine class of adhd meds. it has a sightly different effect than dextroamphetamine alone since it has levoamphetamine as well, which lasts longer and can produce better results in some people (pls go w ur dr on this im not giving medical advice omg just what i learned in my psych classes and the information i've been given). i actually just saw my dr today to check in on how i was doing on the adderall (reg check-up appt). i was rlly worried bc the initial good results i saw in the first days were practically gone after like the first week and i was practically back to normal (i.e., bad. my kitchen is a fucking mess again) and when i told him that he was like "lol that's fine! that was just the trial dose! so we can up you to a normal dose now since you saw good results at first" so hopefully i'll be functioning again 👍 so i love this for us 🫶 rooting for us 🫶🫶

[punkscowardschampions]

Mafi Pt.2

Mattie: [‘are you actually sorry?’ as a more genuine question than it probably even sounds ‘cos we likewise are not in full control of our reactions, try as we might, and that obviously did something to us ‘or do you just want me to tell you off?’]

Fi: [‘I don’t think so, I don’t think I’ve ever been less sorry’ because do not have a single regret right here or right now, soz haters, as we unnecessarily touch her lips as if correcting the lipstick application she did on herself earlier without a mirror]

Mattie: [looking at her the most !! we have ever because are we going to do this, after all this time ‘are you wearing anything under your jacket?’ because sometimes gals just wear the jacket, I can’t tell what the vibe is]

Fi: [‘guess’ as she plays with a button before undoing it but not one that’ll give you a  definite reveal, just a teaser button, to do it, because I bet you aren’t, you’re that bitch]

Mattie: [shaking our head for a no, because we clearly think you aren’t either and that isn’t just wishful thinking, pulling her closer with this jacket but not with any kind of force, pretty gently so she still has to come herself if she wants to ‘it’s December, you weren’t going to overheat’ the weren’t being emphasised like UNTIL NOW]

Fi: [‘and I was running so late’ as she does come closer because ofc she wants to, like you didn’t put anything on cos you couldn’t spare the time to decide what lol ‘I couldn’t stop practising what I’d say, what I’d do, when I saw you’ because it has been a minute and you would be nervous even if this hadn’t been how it went]

Mattie: [undoing however many other buttons you need to to undo it but not moving it aside to expose her yet ‘but you can’t tell me’ with a little pout but we’re not fully pressuring like SAY IT]

Fi: [‘none of it felt how I want to make you feel’ as she’s using her fingers to gently turn her pout into a smile, or trying anyway, really just touching her face more than we ever have before]

Mattie: [‘you know how you make me feel’ almost impatiently, putting a hand around her waist under her jacket, digging our nails into the soft skin]

Fi: [making a noise in response to the action, letting herself do it ‘is that what you want to hear?’ as a shiver like we’re so cold all of a sudden]

Mattie: [just snaking this hand up your ribs until it’s under your boobs, kneading them with that impatient urgency, amped up by her reaction ‘I want to hear how I make you feel’ plainly put, yes]

Fi: [letting the next noise be more deliberately so, less of a quiet gasp and more of a lil !! moan like okay, that’s how you make me feel in case there was any doubt, emphasised by moving more into her touch as well as opposed to trying to stay as still as possible]

Mattie: [burying your face into her chest and finding a nipple with your nose, rubbing your face so softly against it, making it harder ‘very good’ as you start to lightly flick it with your tongue, your other hand rubbing the small of her back, pulling her into you more]

Fi: [pulling her into her more too because GRABBING her when all that occurs because so !! about everything that’s happening, leaving a lipstick mark on her neck the way she did on her glass, rubbing her thumb over it the way you saw her do but did not comment on or react to at the time]

Mattie: [fully sucking this nip into your mouth because you can’t handle her lips on your skin, never mind the reminder that comes with the sensation, pushing her boobs together as hard as you can to get both in your mouth at the same time if you can, swiping your tongue furiously around both similar to the lipstick application]

Fi: [fully moaning her name, excuse us everyone, nobody need a piss rn please, because not loud af but 100% her name and a moan so there’s no styling that out if anyone hears it, pushing her against the nearest wall of this bathroom as hard as she can using that blatant hip movement to do the most]

Mattie: [pulling her jacket so it’s hanging off her shoulders fully because got to let you know how little we care about anything else in this moment ‘unzip my dress’ as you’re pinned up against this wall]

Fi: [doing it, lowkey with enough !! you could break said zip because you also don’t give a shit rn, but don’t actually because that’d be very awks later, stepping back slightly to look at her once she has, because simply must]

Mattie: [step out of this dress so you’re fully here in your underwear and ballet shoes, biting your lip as you LOOK at her ‘do you want to touch me?’]

Fi: [in contrast to how little she cared but a second ago, picking this dress up and like draping/hanging it over something because it’s beautiful and we don’t wanna get it ruined by leaving it on the floor and walking over it, but not taking our eyes off her, obvs, LOOKING to a point she might as well be running her hands over her whole body because that’s the vibe of it, really making the anticipation kill before she follows everywhere her gaze was by touching her, so lightly compared to the intensity of the LOOK]

Mattie: [smiling at this, even if it looks like the smallest smile ever because the rest of your reactions, the ones you’ve allowed and the ones that you haven’t yet but can feel barely being held back, are occupying so much space in your brain that feels like it’s functioning on the most base level possible, not even consciously moving into her touch and making it more than it is but we are]

Fi: [kissing her, again leaving lipstick marks, starting where the perfume would typically be sprayed on her neck and wrists, but then because she also walked into the cloud of it and like wrapped herself in it, the excuse to just kiss her wherever the mood takes this girl, leaving lipstick everywhere on her body until there is none, y’all are gonna have to be vigilant about all the wild places that’s gone because I’m picturing the fold of her arm and all sorts of shit, but clearly in this moment you’re in it and you don’t care about the after, so]

Mattie: [you’re going to need to lowkey give yourself a bath with a wetwipe after this but neither of you cares in this moment about that, at all, nor do we have any desire not to be covered in your kisses entirely and our everything is making that well known]

Fi: [when your breathing is like you’ve been running a marathon or actually fucking each other senseless because the feels and level of desire is too high, nobody’s ever seen this sporty gal this breathless before, I’m sure, love that for y’all, I’m sure this boujee bathroom has some kind of seating moment, so sit on it and pull her into you]

Mattie: [putting both your hands over her heart to feel how fast it is beating right now, just looking at her like !! ‘cos do we stop here do we continue and get in a even more compromising position]

Fi: [knowing damn well you should stop because someone could literally come through that bathroom door any second, like they did earlier, so looking at it after we’ve returned her !! look to communicate that, but easier said than done to actually fully stop this now you’ve started it]

Mattie: [‘just-’ also looking between her face and the door constantly now because this is already a compromising situation and you know it girl, like you could be sorting an issue with your dress, yes, but you’re covered in lipstick so that doesn’t explain that away; holding her head in your hands and taking a deep breath before you go for it and actually kiss her on the lips because you haven’t yet, making the soft sounds that parallel the way we’re pushing into you with this, not holding back on making it a proper kiss]

Fi: [not making a single glance towards the door after her first one, purely watching this girl’s face the entire time, because in no world do you wanna stop either, we all know that, hence likewise doing the most with this first kiss immediately, so y’all are shamelessly just lying here making out as if there is no threat of discovery at all, we can’t even talk about the state of Mattie’s hair now too, cos obvs can’t leave that be, pulling her hair constantly to keep deepening this kiss somehow]

Mattie: [‘I want you so badly’ as something you can barely cope with stopping kissing her for one second to say but you must, holding her face in place for another stolen moment to trace your tongue around her lips like you’re putting on lipstick again, pressing it deep into her mouth to meet with hers and stifle your moans]

Fi: [‘you can have me completely’ with identical energy ‘I don’t care about-’ not needing to finish the sentence because of how clearly you don’t care about literally anything else rn with every single reaction you’re having to her actions and the way you’re once again kissing her like it’s your job]

Mattie: [‘I’ve wanted you since-’ cutting yourself off, putting your hands on her stomach, pressing down, kneading, with no clear goal beyond wanting to touch her more and in more places ‘wanted you in-’ again rudely not finishing that sentence properly, letting our mouth smear against yours so our faces are a mess of pink]

Fi: [‘you’ve given me butterflies every day since-’ not needing to finish her sentence because of course the answer is immediately ‘how I ate anything, I’ll never understand’ shoutout to those first ever iconic treats that she slayed]

Mattie: [whether you’re on top or she is or you’re sort of side by side, pulling her legs apart again to be closer to her like that, resting the full weight of your body on hers, feeling her bare legs under her trousers, grasping at every bit of her ‘you’re lovely’ like you always have been from that moment on]

Fi: [unzip your trousers with the same could break the zip energy as you did her dress, moving as much as you can without dislodging this gal from how she’s positioned but so they’ll fall because aren’t just going to the way her dress did but you wanna give her as much skin as she gave you, yet again regardless of this setting]

Mattie: [shamelessly folding them up and moving them to the side safely because she did it and you thought it was adorable, running your fingers up the full length of her legs, purposely ending right in the join of her thighs every time you come back up, pushing your thumbs in circles in this spot]

Fi: [the smile we’ve gotta do about it, because I’m sorry it’s as adorable when she does it, and such a caring and feminine gesture, what man would ever, doing hot lols because that’s ticklish when she’s touching her legs like that, which obviously catch every time she does her other antics, because that does not but we couldn’t be more into it]

Mattie: [just watching her face so adorably excited about her every reaction because you’ve never gone this far with a woman, going to say you’ve kissed some girls ‘cos that gay film exists and we’d be a fool to ignore but like it was never any deeper than that because then you got a serious boyfriend who didn’t let you do anything and you’ve only just got rid of him in the grand scheme of things ‘I can do it with my fingers but you’ll have to show me how to do it with my mouth’ quite matter of fact despite the !! of the current situation, ‘cos you’re a girl yourself, you know how that works but not the rest]

Fi: [my boo says we’d be damn fools to ignore that gay ballerina content and she’s so right for that, not this girl taking that as an instruction like okay hold on I’m gonna show you rn immediately, because of course she is, seriously excuse us everyone, because positioning her in a way she’ll be most comfortable on whatever kind of seating we have to work with and just going at this]

Mattie: [the GASP because we did not mean right now, obviously but it could not be more apparent how we feel about the fact you even attempted it ‘oh my god!’ and CLAMPING your hands over your mouth, the definition of shook about this right now excuse us]

Fi: [like, I’m sure you’re being slow and romantic and gay about it because you love her and you just know her terrible bf was not bringing the energy you’re going to to this, if he ever did it, there’s no telling with men tbh, but you’ve clearly done this before and have skillz that you’re absolutely buzzing to show off to her so, it’ll be !! especially because you 100% wouldn’t be able to resist talking her through some of these antics, being a literal teacher about it for obvious reasons]

Mattie: [when you’re torn between genuinely trying to concentrate and learn ‘cos obviously you want to do it well when it’s your turn and being too far gone because of how hot everything about this is to you ‘I can’t believe we’re doing this’ ‘cos truly, basically an understatement at this point]

Fi: [what I love most about this moment is, as much as she does wanna show off/teach her mad skillz, she’s also paying such close attention to the things Mattie likes and then really tailoring it instead of just being like hey look what I can wow you with, so important, thank you ‘maybe I’ll believe it when we’re genuinely old’ like maybe when I’m 45 it will sink in that this happened, because atm, hard same] 

Mattie: [as much as there’s a general skill to it, also can be v personal which little flairs people do or don’t vibe with, so an important overall lesson as well as being vital, honestly just pay attention and I don’t think you can go horrifically wrong; anyway, give her hair a little stroke about that as if you’re imagining it being grey]

Fi: [agreed, bubs, agreed ‘or perhaps not’ when she strokes her hair like okay no I’ll actually never be over it, with a smile and some heart eyes, before she’s back at this, doing the most to kill this girl in this bathroom]

Mattie: [clutching at her hair before you can even help it here ‘oh, Fi, fuck’ we’re so ridiculously turned on we’re bright red about it]

Fi: [‘it’s okay’ to echo the many times Mattie has said this, like don’t worry gal, I’ve got you, we’re gonna do this and it will be iconic, all of that emphasised by the fact she’s really concentrating now, no more talking or teaching after that, just responding to her and giving her what she wants]

Mattie: [just be here having the best orgasm of your life casually, no, nothing to see here, not wrapping our legs around this girl’s body, shuddering into wave after wave, only being spurred on by this being neither the time nor place yet here you are]

Fi: [they’re lucky we haven’t left Winnie in charge because he’d have someone walk in at exactly this moment, but I won’t do that to y’all, because can’t stop won’t stop and we all know this girl is not until Mattie is the one crying happy tears about this]

Mattie: [count your blessings huns because we could, we’re here meanwhile being progressively louder because the overstimulation is real ‘I didn’t know it could feel like this, that I could cum like this, all over your face’]

Fi: [for realism’s sake we probably should, but that feels so evil when these gals are so happy rn ‘you aren’t ever going to feel any different’ just promising that you can always make her feel like this, the confidence, where’s the lie though]

Mattie: [we can always have it be a random or you don’t see who ‘cos who isn’t going to walk out again immediately unless they’re weird lol; ‘I need this, need my girl fucking me everywhere’]

Fi: [mhmm, that was my thought exactly, it doesn’t have to be anyone in poor Mattie’s fam, there are nay friends and peeps Noah would have invited here who are frankly irrelevant and will just walk in and straight out cos they don’t know either of you, I’m just aware how long y’all would have been in here and how unlikely it is towards the end of the night no pissed ladies need the toilet lol ‘sweet pea, you don’t even know what you need yet’ cos it can be a term of endearment and so it is, from this moment on]

Mattie: [yeah agreed, y’all should’ve at least got in a stall but I understand it isn’t very romantic for you so you didn’t but that is where we are now, even if this toilet is one of and thus it’s not got constant traffic, still impossible no one is gonna come in]

Fi: [soz to whoever that woman is but not really, sapphic tension needed to be addressed, soz to mafi for the heart attack only, we’ll be kind and let you finish Mattie but Winnie says that’s all the kindness allowed]

Mattie: [Winnie is an evil lil man and loving every minute, never has a bitch moved so fast to grab her dress and lock herself in one of these stalls like oh my god oh my god]

Fi: [give her a sec while you likewise get your clothes back on and clean yourself up at least somewhat, out in the open, because what do you care at this point, it’s too late, and then do the cutest knock of all time for how quiet and hesitant it is ‘it’s me’ like not another random coming to ruin your life, don’t worry]

Mattie: [‘I just need- just give me a moment’ breathless for the wrong reasons right now]

Fi: [‘do you want me to leave?’ genuinely, even though her tone betrays that she doesn’t want to/think that’s a good idea]

Mattie: [‘we should leave separately, probably’ but giving you don’t have to run out right now and leave me the f alone]

Fi: [actually take a second to fix how insane you look and re-apply your face, she’ll hear you and know you’re still here but there’s no pressure for her to come out/say anything rn immediately]

Mattie: [work on rubbing off this lipstick without making your skin red and blotchy as hell, which would probably work better with a bit of water so you’ll have to come out to do that, awkward dot com, clear your throat after a while of just scrubbing it silence here ‘did you see who that was, what they looked like?’ ‘cos unless if was someone really obvious aka the worst people it could be, Fi isn’t gonna have a clue lol]

Fi: [silently zip her dress back up for her because if it’s at the back how they usually are she won’t be able to reach to fully do that herself ‘Jay’s friend?’ with the question mark because we don’t actually know we’re just basing it on approximate age + odds it has to be cos of whose party this is + the fact she probs also looked like a gym girlie with the brief glance we got, cos wanna help you here and give you some kind of answer that isn’t idk]

Mattie: [nod, as if any answer was going to be that comforting, you’re just mortified, end of, but at least it wasn’t a family member so even if this lady goes and runs her mouth, they didn’t fully see THAT ‘I need to go see the girls now’ like you’re telling yourself more than you are her, reminding yourself of your priorities ‘excuse me’ and rushing out like you don’t want to leave this party immediately because how shaming being like WHO WAS IT]

Fi: [I’m just imagining if she does run her mouth that the woman in question and Jay will both think it was Fi and Dolly because they are here together and also it’s feasible to me that she’s mixed her sisters up, so soz if she does say anything, cos Jay won’t she’ll just be off with Dolly, more than she is as standard, and the poor girl won’t even know why, but here and now, this girl has gotta let Mattie go, you could leave, but you won’t cos that isn’t who you are, awks that you literally only know her sisters and that’s who she’s making a beeline for but at least you can get a drink and bring Dolly one like soz I’m been AGES, peace offering vibes and go have some last dances so you aren’t stood there STARING at Mattie dramatically]

Mattie: [not you getting accused of being gay, also I thought this the other day that it’s hilarious that the sisters you think would be queer are the straight ones, fight those stereotypes hens; ANYWAY, focus all your attention on Lulu which she will love so Fi can take Dolly because this is all we can do when running out screaming is not an option lol]

Fi: [soz that we’re really confirming that it must be Dolly who we were gaying with cos insisting she dances with us until this party ends and the music is off because what else can you do, we know you put some secret alcohol in your drink to take the edge off but Dolly doesn’t need to, getting wasted isn’t the move, hence the dance sesh]

Mattie: [oh lord if either of your other sisters comes at you about this later, we cannot, meanwhile you start tidying up this party on the low because you just need to focus on being helpful now]

Fi: [the gay urge to go over and help her clean up, but don’t gal, resist, resist, focus on Dolly until she leaves, you can help her then if she’s still at it]

Mattie: [me like soz I might have to cockblock y’all now ‘cos she isn’t going to want to go out after this fiasco, mean of me but true, would lowkey be encouraging Dolly to go so hard in an obvious attempt to send y’all off there]

Fi: [I agree though, y’all should be cockblocked and because Dolly isn’t gonna go out, you’ll have to eventually go home and do some gay overthinking about every second of this function, after you’ve awkwardly helped her tidy up a lil bit]

Mattie: [soz girl, it’s just very legit, I will put you out of your agony after some time at home to likewise be cringing at everything we did and did not do and the mess of it all]

Mattie: I just wanted you to know that wasn’t your fault, I mean, I didn’t want you to think it was, if you were, it isn’t

Mattie: That was a very foolish thing of me to do and I take full responsibility for it

Fi: I wasn’t looking at it like there was fault to take, but okay, sure

Fi: thanks for clearing that up for me

Mattie: Well, it was wholly inappropriate, for so many reasons but there was no onus on you to behave in any sort of way, really

Mattie: it was my family function, after all

Fi: I’m not disputing wrong location, but if that’s the problem, I caused it as much as you

Mattie: No, you truly didn’t

Mattie: I don’t know what I was thinking, I should have never started that

Fi: I don’t need you to excuse my behaviour, I’m perfectly aware you weren’t thinking, because of me

Mattie: I ended up drinking too much for how little I’d eaten

Fi: you don’t have to do this, in fact, please, do not

Mattie: I don’t want to have made things between us awkward, or have upset you

Fi: what’s upsetting is, you’re genuinely trying to fob me off with something that we both know is false, something that makes me feel like I need to crawl into a hole

Mattie: no, no, that’s not what I’m trying to do, I’m trying to explain why I would have acted against all sense and got us into that mess

Fi: you’re trying to blame it on the alcohol, which I thought I’d left behind with schoolgirls and underage drinking

Mattie: you know that I would never normally act like this, I can’t

Mattie: because I’m not a schoolgirl, for God’s sake, I’m a teacher, my whole family was there

Fi: I know what it makes me if you were drunk and I wasn’t, the same thing it makes me every time any girl freaks out

Mattie: I didn’t say I was drunk, just that we’d had drinks, it was a weird party, weird night

Fi: it’s what you’re trying to say

Fi: a backpedal is a backpedal, and you’re allowed to do so, but it’s just, I’d rather you chose one that paints me in a less predatory light

Mattie: How could you possibly be the predator, by anyone’s imagining

Mattie: I started it and I’m the one who met you at school, as an authority figure, there’s no world in which I’m not the predator

Fi: because I’m the one who’s out, Mattie

Fi: and that’s enough for everyone to believe I’m the one who doesn’t know how to act appropriately

Mattie: and I’ve told you it was my fault and if anything comes out about it, I’ll say the same to whoever I have to

Mattie: if it does, I don’t even know who it was, it felt like all their friends were looking at me after that so

Fi: It doesn’t make me feel any better, how willing you are to fall on this sacrificial sword, real or imagined, is it supposed to?

Mattie: I think it’s the reality of the situation, from all angles I’ve considered it

Mattie: my family has no real reason or vested interest to judge you

Fi: no, the reality is, we didn’t do anything morally wrong

Fi: socially frowned upon, a little bit, I’ll admit, but you wouldn’t judge the other guests as harshly if you walked in on a similar scene

Mattie: Would we not

Fi: getting carried away at parties is the norm, had you barely finished uni like everyone else your age you’d be acting messier than you did tonight, give yourself a break

Mattie: but this wasn’t a University party, it was my sister’s engagement 

Mattie: a child could have walked in, Jesus

Fi: which would have been horrific, but they didn’t

Mattie: The point is that they could have and I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself

Fi: a lapse in judgement isn’t a hanging offence, I’m not gonna allow you to punish yourself to an unwarranted level 

Fi: guests were actually drunk, your fictional child could have witnessed untold horrors as a result of the mass overindulgence

Mattie: I appreciate the sentiment but no other guest was having sex in public, I can guarantee you

Mattie: I’m not going to accept that that was at all appropriate, but I’ve said I’m not saying you’re inappropriate or it was your fault, just the act of

Fi: can you? 

Fi: there were other bathrooms they could have been using, you know

Mattie: please be serious, Fi

Fi: Shall we address your real stumbling block here, that way I can skip to the part where I tell you again you weren’t my teacher, until I’m blue in the face if necessary

Mattie: Would you have met me if I wasn’t a teacher?

Fi: potentially, you’re Dolly’s sister too

Mattie: and I was your form teacher

Fi: it doesn’t mean having to kid yourself you had any authority over me at the time, or that you honestly could, ever

Fi: we’re essentially the same age, I respect you as a person, not your form tutor title which lasted all of a year

Mattie: The point is I signed a contract to look after the well-being of and safeguard all the kids at that school, and you were one of them, like it or not, that’s the truth

Fi: like it or not, no I wasn’t, because I had privileges at that school I’m the first to hold my hands up to, we both understand why I was set apart, I didn’t sign an official contract to run the place, but I did, anyway

Fi: though, entertaining your version for a moment, if I were, you still didn’t do anything to harm me or null and void a single thing you signed up for

Mattie: Waiting for the moment something becomes legal or otherwise uncontentious, is no better

Fi: so I’m supposed to give up on you, am I?

Mattie: I know what happened to Dolly, what that did to both the twins’ lives

Fi: Dolly was a deeply unhappy and isolated underage girl who got exploited by a sick opportunist, a comparison doesn’t exist

Mattie: That isn’t how anyone would see it

Fi: I can try and change their minds too, one at a time or all at once, with the facts, but that’s all I can do

Mattie: Let’s just slow down 

Mattie: as far as we know right now, no one knows anything

Fi: Jay’s friend didn’t go running screaming back into the ballroom and announce it, no

Mattie: we just have to hope word doesn’t get back to Jay

Fi: I’ll hope she was too drunk to remember what she barely saw

Mattie: anything is too much

Fi: I’m sorry I didn’t stop it, the last thing I want is to hurt you, in any way

Mattie: it isn’t your responsibility to take accountability for me and my actions

Mattie: it’s fine, I’m just mortally embarrassed but hopefully no more comes of it, as we’ve said

Fi: I acted as well, it wasn’t only you

Mattie: I’m just sorry, okay, that’s all I needed to say

Fi: and we’ve both apologised now

Mattie: yes

Fi: you understand what my sorry covers and what it doesn’t, right?

Mattie: I think so

Mattie: but you can explain, if you’d like

Fi: as long as I’ve been clear

Mattie: have I?

Fi: yes 💎

Mattie: so we’re still friends

Fi: of course we are

Mattie: Thank goodness

Fi: It’ll be okay, almost no one at the party had the slightest idea who I was or how we met

Mattie: except Dolly and Lulu

Fi: thank god neither of them saw us is the overwhelming take away

Mattie: I’d have to run away, again

Mattie: perhaps to the Malaysian site of the college, would be about far enough

Fi: I obviously can’t give my blessing to such schoolgirl antics, kindly don’t

Mattie: I can’t make any promises until I stop feeling so queasy 

Fi: I’d promise to hold your hair back, sadly you may as well be in Malaysia for what it would be worth, because I can’t fulfil it with the distance regardless

Mattie: Did you arrive back in Surrey safely?

Fi: My arrival there isn’t required again until the new year 🥳

Fi: I get to stay in [somewhere close to her uni, because her parents would sort her a flat or something, they are those bitches]

Mattie: Oh, I see, sorry

Mattie: just assumed

Fi: a fair assumption, anyone else’s parents would see the pitfalls of allowing a 19 year old girl to live alone, especially after boarding for years and years

Mattie: could you get a flatmate, once you’ve made a friend you think you could stand to live with?

Fi: perhaps, unless I’m loving the solitude too much by then

Mattie: possibly

Fi: it’s been nice thus far 

Mattie: you’d recommend it then?

Mattie: I've only ever lived at home then in dorms or flat/house shares before this so

Fi: you know me, I can always look on the bright side 🌞

Mattie: it is what people strive for, independence 

Fi: and I’ve definitely fought for it, Allegra has the battle scars

Mattie: quite

Fi: Anyway, if I remember rightly, when you’re feeling sick [something Mattie did/told her to do during a school trip moment that we’ve clearly committed to memory] helps most

Fi: you should be doing that, not this 

Mattie: A simple goodbye would suffice 😌

Fi: it wouldn’t

Mattie: travel sickness and this are very different things, too

Fi: I don’t have the foggiest how to make you feel better about this though, I wish I did

Mattie: I’m sure it’ll all seem better in the morning 🌞

Fi: my cue to say good night? 🌝

Mattie: if you’re tired

Fi: wouldn’t be very Tigger coded of me

Mattie: you did seem insulted by the comparison

Fi: did I?

Mattie: unless bringing up your defiance to an ADHD diagnosis was a positive 

Fi: firstly, it’s a simple fact I apparently don’t meet the criteria, and secondly, Piglet is Winnie’s best friend, I’m defiant about not having that spot

Mattie: I never said I was Winnie, just that I loved him

Mattie: I’m probably more Piglet coded

Fi: oh please, you’re Winnie

Mattie: 🤔🤔

Fi: book Pooh, Disney can hang for all I care 

Mattie: well, I am very fond of honey but I’m not sure if I would go to the lengths

Fi: you’d go to the lengths he does for your friends and family, you do, I’ve witnessed it ☂️

Mattie: I’m sorry I made you feel like you wanted to crawl into a hole, that isn’t a good friend

Fi: I haven’t been a good one either, gatecrashing your sister’s engagement

Mattie: you were invited

Fi: but I showed up selfishly to see you

Fi: I shouldn’t have come

Mattie: I’m glad you came

Mattie: regardless of how it had to end

Fi: are you?

Mattie: of course I am 

Fi: you wouldn’t be feeling mortified if I hadn’t, there’d be no consequences to worry about the knock on effects of

Mattie: I suppose that’s true

Mattie: but I wouldn’t know if we were still friends or not, had you not shown

Mattie: and it was a nice thing to do for Dolly, even if you had other motives as well

Fi: Dolly won’t want to still be friends if this blows up

Mattie: We have to hope, then she’ll never find out

Mattie: learn our lesson from a near miss instead of a catastrophe 

Fi: why is learning lessons consistently a giant negative?

Mattie: I’m not sure that’s the angle you want to go with, when you go for your PGCE

Fi: well, let’s hope, in three years time, I’ll have done all the painful growing required to be less of an idiot, or it’s probably not a suitable career path

Mattie: I cannot participate in that thought spiral, with this long left before I have to be back in the classroom

Fi: it’s not a reflection on you, we’re not the same person

Mattie: We both behaved in the same idiotic way, and as you said, you have years left before anyone is expecting you to behave accordingly

Fi: you don’t typically, I’d be lying if I said that’s true of myself

Mattie: I don’t think the school would be any more forgiving than Dolly would

Fi: the school aren’t going to find out

Mattie: I can’t lose my job

Fi: No, I’d tell a million lies before I allowed you to take that big of a fall, you’re too good at your job

Fi: you love it

Mattie: You aren’t going to have to do that, it would be unconscionable for me to ask that if it was a possibility though

Fi: you don’t have to ask, if that’s what it comes down to, I’ll do it

Fi: my only consequence is going back to therapy like I did post divorce and pre-remarriage, and as you said, it does work wonders

Mattie: It’s wrong, I wouldn’t allow it

Fi: then it’ll be my word against yours, and I think it’s a fairly easy guess which of us everyone is more inclined to believe

Fi: our reputations precede us, remember

Mattie: I don’t think anyone would imagine I’d lie about having an affair with you

Mattie: lest they think I need something stronger than therapy, which rather hurts the keeping my job case

Fi: we aren’t having an affair, Mattie

Fi: you were drunk, I took things too far, as I am prone to do, that’s the story

Mattie: Is it the truth though

Fi: if needs be, for the sake of your job and your relationship with your sister

Mattie: I don’t like lies

Fi: you can’t lose your job and Dolly can’t lose you, both of those things are more important

Mattie: As far as we’re aware no one beyond a basic stranger knows so we can only act as such

Fi: I told you, I’m prepared for the worst outcome, I know what to do, don’t contradict my efforts and it’ll be fine

Mattie: No, Fi

Fi: my life isn’t over taking complete blame for this, I can go live in [wherever her dad lives], start again

Fi: yours would be, I should’ve cared more about that in the moment, but I didn’t, so I will now, I have to

Mattie: This is just ridiculous, you haven’t done anything wrong, and you’re in Uni, you can’t just leave

Fi: it’s a last resort, this could end here, as an embarrassing faux pas, hopefully

Fi: but I want you to be aware I have a plan, in case it doesn’t

Mattie: It will, regardless of how rightfully crushed Dolly would be, she isn’t a spiteful person, she wouldn’t do anything

Fi: God, she really deserves better friends than me

Mattie: and better sisters

Fi: I’m going to have to ghost her, aren’t I?

Mattie: No, no, don’t do that

Fi: I used her, like everyone else

Mattie: I mean, she invited you for her own purpose

Mattie: and a purpose you fulfilled, you didn’t ignore her as soon as you got there or anything, friendships are reciprocal like that

Fi: she didn’t have an agenda to her invitation

Mattie: you’re being too hard on yourself, you wanted to see me as well as her, that’s allowed

Fi: and look how that turned out, someone needs to be hard on me about it

Mattie: She needs friends, no qualifier

Mattie: I think that’s more important 

Fi: packing my bags and moving feels easier, but okay, sure

Mattie: you said you wanted hard

Mattie: You can’t see her often now anyway but if she needs you, show up, okay

Mattie: you know how to be a good friend, whatever you think

Fi: I do care about her, however much it doesn’t seem like I could be all that bothered, after what happened

Mattie: I know you do

Fi: I’ll be there

Mattie: Thank you

Fi: and for you, if you need anything

Mattie: I don’t want things to end like this, to feel so

Mattie: I shouldn’t have vented to you like that, all my fears, when I’m sure it’ll be fine, I didn’t intend to make you feel bad

Fi: who else could you vent to? I’ve put you in a position where you can’t talk to anyone about this

Mattie: it just feels like an overreaction, for all the things you’re suggesting now, I didn’t mean to take it to this level

Fi: I took it to this level, because I don’t want you to think I’m underreacting 

Fi: I know this is serious, I can take it seriously

Mattie: I don’t think that, I know you care

Fi: I didn’t mean to scare you either

Mattie: It’s perhaps not better to spiral together than alone but that was my intention when I first reached out

Fi: I’m sorry

Mattie: Don’t be, please

Mattie: no more than I am

Fi: maybe I should’ve gone out, made myself unreachable for a while

Mattie: I would have been worried

Fi: you don’t have to worry about me, I can look after myself

Mattie: when has that ever stopped me

Fi: I have plenty of space left to get another drunk tattoo

Fi: [because I vibe that on her 18th bday she did that, and it’s a lil star with a gold outline, sadly I can’t find a pic of one, cos the glee gal has one but it’s ugly af and filled in gold so no]

Mattie: [it must be a hard colour to do because you think it’d be easier to find than it is but still loves it, could always black and white one, as long as it's not a heavy black line]

Mattie: I can imagine your mother’s reaction 

Fi: unless I committed to my forehead, she’s unlikely to notice

Mattie: did she notice the star?

Fi: eventually, but that was pre having her precious baby boy join the school, these days I could chop off an arm and have it reattached as a leg and she wouldn’t express the slightest concern

Mattie: Maybe she’s giving you that freedom you fought for?

Fi: or maybe this era of my life is irrelevant to her because it doesn’t reflect back

Mattie: Have you talked to her?

Fi: 😅 why would I?

Mattie: well, you seem upset

Fi: of course not, if I’m irrelevant to her, she can be irrelevant to me

Mattie: okay, as long as you’re okay with how things are

Fi: I’ve learned to pick my battles

Mattie: I know

Fi: it’s my little brother you should feel sorry for, thrust into her full spotlight as well as having to walk in my shadow, poor thing

Mattie: I can speak to his form teacher, if you’d like

Mattie: Obviously I’ve kept an eye out

Fi: me too, he’s doing okay, considering

Mattie: he has plenty of people there for him

Fi: I’m going to invite Doll to spend her birthday in [wherever her dad lives again] as an alternative, since she doesn’t and lent term doesn’t start until the 9th

Fi: I don’t have to be back at uni until the 16th so

Mattie: Oh, right

Mattie: well I’m sure she’ll love that

Fi: I’m sure she’ll refuse me, she loves to

Mattie: it’s a nice offer nevertheless

Mattie: you’re leaving then?

Fi: not like that, but I have making up to do for her, and she’s told me enough about the tragic state of her birthday for it to be a clear starting point, if she wants it to be

Mattie: Yes, I suppose so

Fi: should you need me, I’m [however many hours, can’t be many because it’s probably europe somewhere] away 📌🌎🛫

Mattie: as you said, I don’t think Dolly will want to come

Fi: I’ll do my best to convince her but she’s as stubborn as I am

Mattie: Perhaps she will want to spend her birthday with her family, however ‘tragic’ it may seem

Fi: it’s understandable, I won’t hold it against her

Mattie: right

Fi: don’t be cross at me, I’m not calling you tragic

Mattie: I just think it’s rude, things are complicated, beyond face value, you don’t do yourself any favours being that flippant

Fi: I’m not going to write a giant footnote re using the word tragic to explain I understand it’s more nuanced, am I? You know what I mean

Mattie: Nevermind

Fi: Mattie 

Mattie: What?

Fi: you’re allowed to say what you want to say instead of brushing it off

Mattie: I did, I said it was rude

Fi: okay, if that’s it

Mattie: It is, you can’t expect to fix everything for her when you don’t know the half of it

Fi: I don’t have an expectation of actually fixing anything, like you just heard me say, it’s an alternative, so she doesn’t feel like she has none

Fi: you should be able to spend your birthday how you want to, if only that one day

Mattie: Her birthday is New Year’s Eve, it’s not radical that her parents combine parties

Fi: she’s dreading it, that’s my only consideration here

Mattie: because her and Lulu need to fix their relationship

Fi: which is out of my hands

Mattie: Yes, because I’m sorry this isn’t your business

Mattie: this is what I mean, you try to fix things when you can’t and shouldn’t be putting yourself in the middle

Fi: wow, fuck me then, I guess

Mattie: Can you just not appreciate that it’s insulting

Mattie: to act as if the people in their lives are sitting there twiddling their thumbs when it isn’t the case

Fi: it’s insulting that’s what you think a nice gesture means

Mattie: I find it insulting that you want to take my sister away from me and her family on her birthday

Mattie: I’m sorry but you asked me to speak candidly

Fi: it’s about what she wants, it’s more than insulting you think I’d engineer this for my own, what, saviour complex or something?

Mattie: You feel guilty, you want to whisk her away, you said it yourself

Mattie: it isn’t a nice gesture if you’re absolving yourself

Fi: forget I fucking suggested it, god

Mattie: I think that’s best

Fi: and it’s best you concentrate on your sister, since she’s none of my business 

Mattie: Don’t tell me mine, I’m aware

Fi: do you even know me at all?

Mattie: I could ask you the same question

Mattie: all I do is for them, for my job, that’s it

Fi: it’s not your failure, you’re not her mother, or the sister she can’t bear to be in the same room with

Mattie: but it is because it’s my job to fix this

Fi: and it’s mine as her friend, to help her make new non-traumatic memories and have experiences other girls her age have already had and taken for granted, it’s her 18th

Mattie: not everyone has the same experiences, that’s so narrow-minded

Fi: oh please, I’m not trying to force her into a tunnel, she’s screaming out for space, her own life

Mattie: She misses her sister

Fi: yeah, but she wants her own identity too

Mattie: She has one, and is more than capable of carving it out further

Fi: without my interference, you may as well finish your sentence to the . 

Mattie: her own identity explains itself, she can make the decisions and work out how that looks for her

Fi: because I’ve ever tried to make her into me or tell her what to do

Mattie: you think you know best

Fi: I can’t believe you see me like that and this is the first I’m hearing

Mattie: You literally said I didn’t know what I needed right before that girl walked in

Mattie: you monopolize how we react to this, in theory or otherwise and tell me what I can and can’t do and how and why you’ll be believed

Mattie: I had no reason to point it out before but this crosses a line

Fi: I don’t know where to start with any of that, how upside down it is

Mattie: then perhaps we do need to leave it here, I’ll go and focus on my sister

Fi: you do that, Mattie, how could I possibly resist telling you what to do for a final time?

Mattie: Quite

Mattie: you know, you could just take onboard one bit of criticism, accept that you’ve hurt me

Fi: one? you’ve just ripped apart my entire, supposed, personality

Mattie: after you made a mockery of all my attempts to help the twins

Fi: oh my god, it wasn’t about you, I’ve never done anything except praise your attempts, with them both

Mattie: you were rude about Lulu earlier

Mattie: as if her life hasn’t been upended by something she didn’t have anything to do with, never mind any knowledge

Fi: I took on board that criticism, but I draw the line at being utterly misunderstood

Mattie: We’re both upset, and scared of more to come, we can draw a line under this 

Fi: you have full artistic licence to draw any shape you wish

Fi: you were right the first time, I can’t be friends with you after this

Mattie: I appreciate your honesty, if nothing else

Fi: I’m glad the unappreciation isn’t total

Mattie: Ha, wow

Fi: my sentiments exactly

Mattie: I can’t handle this

Fi: again, I couldn’t agree with you more, you describe my mother to a tee and put all the attributes onto me, and I’m supposed to be a good sport about it

Fi: I don’t fucking think so

Mattie: I barely know your mother, still

Mattie: you can’t say I did it on purpose, when that’s impossible

Fi: you barely know me, apparently

Mattie: it seems like it now, thinking otherwise was my faux pas 

Fi: it’s irrelevant now

Mattie: you’ve said

Fi: no, you’ve said you think I’m borderline tyrannical, so if you’ll excuse me I have packing to do, where better to flee to than a country formerly under a dictatorship to process my wrongdoings

Mattie: It isn’t your fault, it was wrong of me to square it at you as if it is solely down to you

Fi: regardless, in your eyes I’m gigantically at fault, hence the character assassination, and I can’t square who I thought you knew I was with the person you’re saying you think I am

Mattie: oh this is such a mess

Mattie: you said it yourself, okay, that you were afforded privileges at that place, you were, you didn’t ask for them but of course it’s had an impact

Fi: I said it to erase a power imbalance that doesn’t exist, not to hurt you

Mattie: I mean that your faults, however they’re sized, aren’t just your own, no one’s are and I went too far in this conversation

Fi: drop it, I’m aware of my actual faults, and they don’t include saying that I had only just begun to give you what you want, ironically as we were interrupted, or caring enough about your future to want to keep it on track

Mattie: then here we are, your conviction that you’ve done nothing wrong

Fi: you’re upset because of me, I’ve done plenty wrong

Mattie: I am, I don’t know how to make that clearer

Fi: it’s clear

Mattie: I didn’t ‘freak out’ because you’re a girl, I freaked out because it’s wrong and I shouldn’t have done anything I did

Fi: I know why, there’s never been a ? around it

Mattie: I can’t undo it but I don’t know what I can do now to make it right

Fi: you don’t have to do anything unless your hand is forced by whoever saw us doing something herself

Mattie: what about you, I’ve just made it worse 

Fi: what about me? I’ll be fine, I keep telling you

Mattie: You’ve said I’ve given you an identity crisis and you’re fleeing the country so

Fi: name a first year uni student who isn’t having one, and going to visit my own father is hardly a cause for concern

Mattie: no, I suppose not

Fi: it must be that for me, putting away childish things means casting aside the notion that you understood me better than anyone

Mattie: I let you down

Mattie: because I wasn’t real before, not to you

Fi: I’m the one who barely knows you, that’s what hurts more than you thinking I’m a know-it-all bigheaded bitch

Fi: that’s where the true imbalance is, I told you everything about me and you couldn’t

Mattie: which is why this is inappropriate, you confided in me, in a role as a teacher, whether we like that or not, which I don’t, by the way

Fi: as my friend

Mattie: you said it, I couldn’t

Fi: but you did, sometimes

Fi: I haven’t just fantasised solidly for an entire school year

Mattie: no, I did, of course I did

Mattie: but I wasn’t meant to

Fi: it isn’t fair, we had no control over the circumstances of how we met

Mattie: I know, I had no intentions, that isn’t why I cared for you, but that’s how it will seem in hindsight

Fi: which is exactly why I should leave, give you a fresh start too

Mattie: I don’t want you to leave

Fi: it’ll be impossible if I stay, because I do have conviction I’ve done nothing wrong, just not in this conversation, it exists before in what I did, what I’d do again

Mattie: Just in private 

Fi: I don’t want to give you an identity crisis, Mattie

Fi: you’ve said so many times you think this is wrong

Mattie: only when it’s examined by people who don’t know the full story, which it doesn’t need to be

Fi: tell me what you want to happen, I’ll 😶

Mattie: You should go see your father, obviously, it’s the holidays

Mattie: but don’t stay away

Fi: I’m relieved, I really like my course

Fi: perhaps more than you 

Mattie: you’re an idiot then, in the nicest possible way

Mattie: You need to be here, you’re on the right path for you

Fi: I’m joking, I don’t like anything more than you

Mattie: Still?

Fi: unless I get to know you more and change my mind, but it’s unlikely, with the basics I’ve already got down

Mattie: that’s allowed, I could have some terrible habits you know nothing about

Fi: you know you’ve always been real to me, don’t you?

Fi: I may be young and stupid but I’m not that young and stupid

Mattie: it was me I was accusing of having to have a veneer of fakeness

Mattie: but I wasn’t exactly good at keeping that boundary in place

Fi: there’s a lot I’m not good at

Fi: I wish we could start this conversation over

Mattie: then lets

Mattie: it doesn’t paint either of us in a favourable light

Mattie: and I want you to know me, I always have, you know that, don’t you?

Fi: You haven’t been back on the bottle, have you? 

Fi: because if I have catching up to do I better had there first

Mattie: Um, no!

Mattie: I’m at my parents’ house, that would be close to a crime

Fi: you kill me

Mattie: I didn’t get a chance to

Fi: you know where I live, without any of my parents

Mattie: you did make a point to tell me

Mattie: though now that conversation is REDACTED… perhaps you ought to tell me again

Fi: [do obvs]

Fi: and I don’t have to go to my dad’s, that was a decision made in another, now non-existent, conversation too

Mattie: I will miss you when you do go, after we’ve finished what we started

Fi: I refuse to call you out for telling me what to do, sorry, I can’t

Mattie: You know it’s going to be what you need too

Fi: I miss you already

Mattie: I have so much to make up for, not just the time lost

Fi: and I have to show you what I meant, so there’s no more confusion about what I said

Mattie: 🥺 okay

Fi: I’ve barely begun to do anything to you

Mattie: I’ve never been more cross with a perfect stranger than I am that girl

Fi: medieval torture wouldn’t suffice

Mattie: I’ll be jealous

Fi: impossible

Mattie: I want to be the one benefitting from your knowledge

Fi: 🩰 is torture, the level you took it to, of course you’d like it

Mattie: I like how passionate you are, thinking about when you were a weird kid too

Fi: [tell her some more weird kid stories that I haven’t learnt enough history to make up because we just did the tudors and world war II constantly]

Mattie: You’re so adorable

Fi: there could be something diagnosably off with me, I don’t know

Mattie: no, you’re perfect

Fi: it feels bizarre to be blushing in an empty house

Mattie: I shouldn’t have let you go back to an empty house

Fi: I should’ve bought you with me, then it wouldn’t be

Mattie: It’s okay, we’ve both been suitably punished for our indiscretion now

Fi: in a bad way, not yet in a good one

Mattie: I can’t possibly think about what that might entail 

Fi: I understand why, as fun as anticipation is, making you wait for a single thing you want would be a foreign concept to almost anyone

Mattie: I’m aware this contradicts every single (sensible) thing I said

Mattie: but the way you didn’t wait or hesitate at all was 

Fi: I couldn’t

Mattie: I wouldn’t, given the chance again, aware how stupid that is

Fi: perfect time, imperfect place, I’ve said that consistently

Mattie: You looked so hot