#but 2019 movie is kinda shitty

[marronje]

If you're reading this and you ship togachako

Go read Carmilla

You can watch the movie of course, but don't waste your time on Carmilla (2019), it doesn't even start to cover the original plot

You can try the Terror in the Crypt (1964), it's kinda old, but the story is close to the og one

But if you have the time to read the 1872 novel you better go read it (it's only 16 short chapters)

[ghettosoftie]

Damarcus Lasha Shakespeare: When you came back into my life I was at my lowest. I've never would have thought that I would have found a man like you. I met you at the young age of 15, we went on a movie date to see the stepfather not thinking much of it. Unfortunately, one date was enough and we ended up going our separate ways. But one thing about it, I always had you in the back of my mind. You ended up getting married and having two handsome boys with your wife. I ended up going a different route, I was hanging out with friends, living the single life, kinda doing me after high school. I ended having a daughter around the same time you had your first son, I wanted to tell you all about her, but I kept a distance because I didn’t want to ruin your beautiful family, we both became parents. Still living separate lives I still would find myself watching you grow as a man from afar. Fast forward to 2019, I had gotten unfortunate news that you were in prison, you had your auntie reach out via Facebook so I would write you on jpay. During that time I was in a shitty relationship with a man who didn't appreciate me or treated me the way I deserved, I was also pregnant with my second daughter, just thinking how I was going to end up a single mother all over again. You also was going through the worse, dealing with a divorce and the betrayal from your wife. Knowing both of us were going through hard times we still managed to start back talking catching up on the times we missed in each others lives. Not knowing where it would even lead towards we both just ended up being there for each other in our time of need. Eventually I left my relationship thinking I'll forever be alone and how I will never find Mr Right. Knowing we both was hurting we still continued to converse, over time feelings started to involve, I tried to fight the feelings and urge because I was so scared to give my heart to another man after putting my all into someone that never appreciated the things I've done. Eventually I couldn't fight the feelings and urges anymore and we told each other how we felt and instantly started a relationship without any hesitation. We thugged it out together throughout your sentence in prion. No, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows but we had a lot of love and a bond like no other. Fast Forward March 26th, 2024, you’re finally coming home from prison, due to our rocky time we didn't know if we could be together or if we would even work out. But something kept us together and fighting for what we truly wanted, which was each other. You coming home was a little rough but we got through it, with a lot of tears and hard conversations we were still able to look pass everything because we always put our friendship and bond first. You became more than just my man, you became my best friend. There's nothing in this world I can't tell you or share with you. Once we really sat back and realized that this is what we truly wanted we worked through our issues and now we are is the best place in our relationship. You've helped me through my hardest time, you was there when my sister passed away, you was there when I was feeling alone and feeling like I wasn't enough. You always assured me that I was good enough and everything will be okay. I don't think I would have gotten through that chapter of my life without you. Mind you we were still rocky during the time of my sisters death, but you put all feelings aside and made sure I was okay. I could never thank you enough for that. Today, June 29th, 2024 we are in the best place in our relationship, we have our girls, we have goals and our bond is stronger than ever before. Every day I think about how lucky I am to have such a loving, hard working, sexy ass man in my life. I can't wait til the day I can take your last name and is able to show you how much love I can give. I can only imagine what the future holds for us, but all I know is that I never want to go through life without you. I love you more than you’ll ever realize. Thank you for being my backbone and changing my ways to make me a bet

[applejuiceyjuice-art]

how do you think youtube would look around 2016-ish (the semi pop of scene / scemo media) would he stay the same money hungry guy he is or would he have something to cringe back at ???

idk abt scene becoming popular but the emover hair era makes me think like 2011/2012, n thats the time period i designed for. he was still the outgoing funny guy, but his ego wasn’t through the roof yet and he wasn’t really money hungry either. he liked video games, movies, hoverboarding, pranks, skits, and had more of the vibe of a college student making random videos out of camcorder. he was also a brony. i think it would be funny if he did windows movie maker editing at some point. maybe he tried to do some shitty tutorials by typing on notepad. the tutorial king over here.

he had the varsity jacket, the emo hair, dc shoes, party glasses, sagging pants lol… i dont have the design on me rn but its probably subject to change cuz its kinda bad.

2015/2016 was a dark time for youtube (the site). there was a cultural shift, beginning to lean hard on drama channels and gamergate shit, it just became more hostile. then the introduction of breadtube to counteract that grew into the evolution of longform content which now dominates the site today. comedy and shortform videos eventually no longer did well on the algorithm, but video essays did.

so id say 2016 is where his shift into the ceo thing happened. like google decided he needed to be more professional (a lot of sites around this time were doing this too). at first he hated the whole suit thing, but twitch liked it n that started to boost his ego. he decided to embrace the new look, but doing it his way, which was a sloppier version of what he wears now basically. he grew into it as he got more into the corporate role.

the last nail in the coffin was whenever youtube became more corporatized feeling or whatever with the updates, like removing visible dislikes, though id say the official cut off is 2019 when they stopped doing youtube rewinds. this all sorta coincides with his relationship drama, at first going great and then falling apart around 2019.

[autisticlio]

Hello there everyone. It'sa me, Nerdie. You may know me for classics such as teapotcutie, nerdienerdlord, animeweegs (Super Mario Kun and HxH translations), and ferallio (Daily Lio Fotia account). But you may have also noticed that they all suddenly vanished in the middle of the night. So why is that? You see, it's a little thing called

THE 2019 STUDIO TRIGGER FILM PROMARE HAS SHITTY COPYRIGHT ABOUT MOVIE CLIPS.

Anyway, my daily Lio account got me copyright striked to hell and back. So here we are. This is what I get for having shit taste still at the age of 22.

In any case, they won't let me use my old urls or email either, so I had to go back to this blog aaall the way back when I was into JJBA and stimboards which I have since deleted the posts for. Feel free to unfollow. Or keep following. Idc.

So this all leads to the questions of what now? Well, I'll be making a proper post to have my mutuals RB as this is moreso an explanation kinda thing of what happened. How ironic this happens after I retranslated the ending D thing or whatever you kids are obsessed with. I might remake animeweegs, but for now will talk about translation stuff here too.

Ferallio? That's dead as hell after dealing with that. Sorry buckos. 'sides, some of you were getting too weird about it.

My art blog I've been posting more on Instagram so I doubt I'll be remaking it cause I don't get that many notes here and plus the skeleton crew stuff.

Anyway! That's what happened. Remember to say "Fuck Thanksgiving!" this week.

[scrunkore]

Scrunkore Media "Thread" 2023: Part 5

I got burnout and never got back into it so I'm hella simplifying it lol shit happens

the scrunko core has burned out, rebooting

50) Wendell & Wild (Movie, 2022)

A lovingly crafted stop-motion animated movie with some good old kid-friendly horror vibes and a punky attitude, even starring a pretty nice transmasc character that I'm super happy to see. It's a nice story with a good visual style and a lot of heart, and I think Key and Peele being involved is pretty funny honestly. [4★]

51) Murder by Numbers (Switch, 2020)

Decent enough Picross game with a basic detective narrative stringing it together that I'm not really a huge fan of, but it does its job and I appreciate the adorable robot as well as some of its representation. And no idea how they got the composer from Ace Attorney and Ghost Trick, lmao [3★]

52) Pokémon Picross (GBC, Unreleased)

Yeah, this was better than the 3DS one, it's just basic Picross that doesn't do much (only real mechanic it adds is being able to change the music) but that's still better than the shitty mobile game model. They really should have just released this, it was straight-up finished and I even got a cart that works on original hardware because I think that's neat. [3.5★]

53) Paper Mario: The Origami King (Switch, 2020)

Going to be killed for playing this as my first Paper Mario but who cares, this game is cool in spite of its awkward battle system (which DOES kinda suck). Just a fun adventure with typical quirky writing and some surprisingly powerful moments, plus an excellent soundtrack, I'm sure some of the earlier games are better but I did play this one and did enjoy it. [4★]

54/55) Knives Out/Glass Onion (Movies, 2019/2022)

Incredible pair of detective movies, both full of really engaging writing and directing work that keeps you invested and never stops being entertaining to watch, surely still really good on a rewatch too. They also really fuckin' hate rich people, especially the second one which is woke as hell and has one of my favourite endings in anything, so that's what some might call "based". I can't wait to see what Rian Johnson does for the third Benoit Blanc movie, which is apparently meant to be a 2024 release. [5★]

56) Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW Comics, 2018-Present)

These are some damn enjoyable comics, telling some fun and generally quite well-written stories set after the events of Sonic Forces with a cast of really cool characters. Honestly kind of ride or die for Tangle and Whisper, but original villains like Dr Starline are great to read too. Early highlight is definitely the Metal Virus arc, but the more recent stuff with Surge was excellent too. Safe to say the team behind these stories know their shit. [4.5★]

57) Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Movie, 2023)

They really did it, they went out of their way to make a bigger and better sequel to one of the greatest animated movies I've seen, and it's very possible that they succeeded... but we won't know until the second part comes out, which looks unfortunately unlikely to be any time soon because production sucked. Still, what we did get is yet another gorgeously animated spectacle with a cool storyline, everyone knows that. [4.5★]

58) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (Movie, 2023)

One of the only parts of the MCU that I cared about more or less concluded with this movie, and fuck it might be the best one in the trilogy. Rocket's harrowing backstory really hits out with that theme of some jerkass playing god, and the core adventure of the film is pretty engaging too, just as cool as ever. Plus it's now confirmed Vocaloid exists in the MCU lol [4.5★]

59) The Suicide Squad (Movie, 2021)

Another instance of James Gunn making an actual good superhero movie, this time making a good adaptation of something that previously had a bit of a shit one. I appreciate the kinda edgy nature of the titular squad that was handled solidly here, and their antics are honestly pretty funny. Fun action sequences too, and it's honestly really cool how much the movie thinks rats are awesome (they kind of are tbh). Peter Capaldi, the best version of Doctor Who, playing a mad scientist role is also just... really good. [4★]

60) Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (Movie, 2022)

Man fuck Disney, this is obviously the best version of the Pinocchio story and their attempt to overshadow it was lame as hell. I quite like the darker take on the story with themes of death and war around Italy's rise of fascism (Tom Kenny Mussolini is crazy btw), and of course the stop-motion animation is really quite excellent. Always love to see movies made in such a way. [4★]

61/62) Sonic and the Secret Rings/Black Knight (Games, 2007/2009)

Yeah, I get why the storybook duo of games have a bad reputation, because the motion control gimmicks kinda suck, but Secret Rings suffers from it far more than Black Knight, and that still has the cool ideas and solid writing combined with a great soundtrack (both games have this). Maybe the mission-based level structure isn't great, but there's some fun stuff to be found in these. Wish they were better though. [2.5★/3.5★]

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[lqfiles]

LQ MY QUEEN MY LOVE <333 i missed you!!!

YES WINWIN’S CDRAMA <33 its actually a really shitty script don’t watch it, but you can watch like highlights of his acting on youtube or something, because tbh out of all the characters he and he mc are probably the best. actually i like everyone except for the main lead and villain bc the women are lowkey so hot…

HELP ME THE ONE CHINA LIVE… ahhhhh i miss them so much, and its so silly renjun acts like winwin’s older brother and scolds him when in reality winwin is older but they’re so cute <33 and the time when sm got mad at renjun for mentioning winwin on a live stream??? bruh i can’t with sm anymore. CHENJAE I LOVE CHENJAE. IT’S SO RANDOM I GET IT BUT THEY ACTUALLY DO HAVE CONTENT AND INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER… and it’s sort of between like an older brother/fanboy situation between the two bc like jaehyun really really likes chenle… idk that’s like my one random pair.

haechan definitely needs payment for the pr manager bc i totally didn’t just add haechan to my bias/bias wreckers list on my website nope !!! who would do that!!! obviously not me!!! (i kinda need him so bad guys this is not it. CAN WE JUST KISS AND MAKEUP HYUCK/N ALREADY????????)

i’ll be awaiting teehee i’ll try my best to keep hidden 😔😔

love u have the greatest of days <33

- 🤠

ngl i don’t watch kpop idols dramas at all because 1 idgaf HSJDHSKDHDKS sorry and 2 i just don’t have the attention span for series and movies and all that </3 i didn’t even watch jaehyun or jaemin’s series like sorry i just can’t… i’m sure he’ll rock it tho 🔥

BROOO THE WAY I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT LIVE 2019 was such a crazy year for renjun omgggg my poor aegi 💔 and i guess i can kinda see chenjae… at least it makes more sense that jaehyun and renjun like THIS RANDOM ASS SHIP SHDJDHJDFJFJ

LMAOOOOO HE NEEDS TO PAY MEEE i’m converting the people to sunflowerism 🤦🏽‍♀️ you need to back up a bit tho bff… that’s lqfiles husband you’re drooling over don’t forget!!!! also i’m gonna try and guess your account now but does it by any chance have winwin in it 👀?

love you more and have the best and most amazing day or night sweetheart <3

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

May King

by thesmellofcitrus

After Tommy's friends die in a murder-suicide, his brother invites him on a trip to Sweden with him and his friends. In Sweden, they visit Phil's hometown. The midsummer festival, which only happens every 90 years, will be taking place during their stay. As he finds himself stuck in what turns out to be a Cult, Tommy has to deal with witnessing the sinister traditions of the cult, dealing with his shitty brother, and has to try not to lose his godamn mind. Kinda hard when you're in the middle of nowhere and can't leave, isn't it?

OR

Wilbur invites Tommy on a trip with his friends to Sweden and they spend their trip in Philza's hometown. Turns out Philza grew up in a cult! What a trip!

AndOR(x2)

Midsommar au because I am so hyper-fixated on it right now, and I was also in the mood to write something Tommy-centric!

Words: 1015, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Midsommar (2019), Video Blogging RPF

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Philza Minecraft - Character, Mentioned Ranboo - Character, Brendan Thro | Sneegsnag, Mentioned Aimsey - Character, Mentioned Tubbo - Character, Mentioned Badlinu - Character

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Alexis | Quackity & Wilbur Soot, Herobrine (Minecraft)/Phil Watson | Philza

Additional Tags: aimsey tubbo and freddie kinda just die in chapter one, sorrry bout that!, Vomiting, Blood and Gore, this is a midsommar au what do you expect, they all die like my beta fish layla RIP layla :(, he died after a week, i was six dont judge, Bad Sibling Wilbur Soot, Drugs, also fyi this is all platonic i removed all sexual stuff dw guys, Character Death, Sneegsnag and Philza are brothers, Cults, i sadly had to get rid of the love potion part of the movie rip pussy hairs, Crossover, Midsommar (2019) Spoilers, Inspired by Midsommar (2019), Phil Watson | Philza is Not a Parent, Phil and Sneeg are apart of the cult, Tommy as Dani, Wilbur as Christian, no they arent dating theyre BROTHERS, Techno as Josh, Phil as Pelle, Quackity as Mark, smoker quackity, Rituals, Murder-Suicide, courtesy of aimsey, Bad Friend Quackity, Techno and Wilbur become enemies at some point, No Beta We Die Like Someone Stuffed Us In A Bear And Burned Us Alive!

[rerenah]

Saturday night’s alright (for fighting)

[my-nickname-atrocy]

okay so, i watched cats with 3 of my friends and i have some things to say. we'll start with the bad because there's more good than bad.

the cats. yeah. i said it. they're horrific, all of them, (except victoria and gumbie, they're perfect) i just hate the way they all walk around. like it's got to satire right?

the plot. or really lack there of. i couldnt really understand the first half so i didn't really get what was happening. all i understold was there cats and they have a ball, and the winner gets to go to cat heaven. and for some reason macavity really wants it. i don't know if there was more to it though.

so we got to see gross human mice and gross human roaches. but what about the dog? i want a gross human dog.

rum rum tugger gets his own section in the bad place. get him outta here we dont stan him in this house

now on to the good.

the songs???? i loved the vast majority of them, but especially beautiful ghosts and macavity. also memory is very good too. and magical mr mistopholes.

old deuteronomy is kind of cool? i kinda love her

victoria was amazing, we love her, we stan.

taylor swift cat is everything i've ever wanted in a catbiy taylor swift.

robbie fairchild cat was hot. okay. i said it. i found him attractive and i don't know what that means about me but i said it. are you happy.

mungojerre and i are dating. he's my boyfriend

this is it. this is my bad review of probably one of the best movies i've seen in a while. it just filled me with utter joy and i loved it. a lot. solid 8/10

[vicsuragi]

hiya! feel free to ignore this but if you have time, do you have a list of all the things you've watched that have con o'neill in them?

i don't actually have a list but for you, anon, anything (and as close to chronological order as i can get)

cucumber (2015) - con appears in episodes 1, 2, 5, 7 and 8

our flag means death (2022-) - con appears in episodes 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 and 10

telstar (2008) - this one is really distressing towards the end but it has a lot of con kissing and being in bed with a pretty boy

uncle (2014-2017) - con appears throughout the series and i cannot overstate my love for it as a whole even beyond val, as iconic as he is

the batman (2022) - not enough con, but his american accent was really bad in the movie and that was really fun for me

banana (2015) - he was in one episode of this and it wasn't enough but he also was really pretty in it sooo

midsomer murders: schooled in murder (2013) - i didn't finish this episode. but a woman was murdered by a wheel of cheese to the head and con was there so if that's at all interesting to you.

inspector lewis: fearful symmetry (2012) - i didn't finish this one either because this character made me so angry but he plays a researcher who is studying chimps or something and is possibly involved in a bdsm-style murder (it really sounds more interesting that it is)

criminal justice (2008) - features in every episode as ralph stone, a solicitor attempting to get a guy out of a murder charge he isn't sure he committed (also ben whishaw is in it if you like ben whishaw)

happy valley (2016-2022) - fully admitting i did not watch more than an episode of this one but con was there and he seemed very sweet, but he could also potentially be a murderer (or he is just the boyfriend of the lead's sister)

chernobyl (2019) - appears in three episodes (1, 2 and 5), has a perm, is kinda a shitty guy

bedrooms and hallways (1998) - earliest con project i have watched, has a bit of biphobia directed at the lead towards the end, but con is absolutely glorious in it and his character got a very happy ending

and that's all i think i've seen so far, i could definitely be missing one or two things i saw but just cannot remember, but i think this is everything! i'll probably start moving into the earlier projects now because i need to see dancin thru the dark

[lastoneout]

Im starting to think that the reason lots of men don't like movies like Ghostbusters(2016) and Birds of Prey and Charlie's Angels(2019) has less to do with subjectivity or even overt sexism, but more because they don't know how to deal with the feeling of their only representation in a movie being a shitty person.

Like the best way I can describe it is when I was watching Black Panther I was really relieved when Martin Freeman's character turned out to be a good guy and had his little hero moment, and for a long time I didn't like, examine that? But eventually I was thinking and I realized the reason it was relieving to me is because he's white, and I'm white, and I was happy that there was a "good" white guy in the film. It's an extension of white guilt and my desire to be a "good" white person, and despite the fact that it's honestly realistic to show them all as evil I still felt relieved when one didn't suck. Which is an internal bias I need to be aware of and work on, because it's really not about me, and that sort of feeling isn't going to help me learn to be anti-racist and a good ally.

And when you look at films like Ghostbusters(2016) and Birds of Prey, most if not all of the main male characters are either morons or evil. In Charlie's Angles the main male character turns out to be evil. All of the men in Birds of Prey are assholes or evil(and they aren't even given the luxury of being cool while doing it, they are truly unlikable). In Ghostbusters(2016) the villain is a man, and the other two men I can think of are the Himbo dumbass and the Dean who was a dick. In Captain Marvel the only positive male rep is Samuel Jackson's character, while the villain is a white man.

I really do think these guys don't know how to deal with the feeling of not being represented in a positive, or at least enjoyable light, and they don't want to or know how to confront those feelings, so they rationalize them away as the movie just being bad. Especially because all of those films objectively feature many of the same tropes as male lead movies these same guys claim to love.

Take Captain Marvel, they criticized Carol for beating up a man and stealing his stuff, when in Terminator the same thing happens and it's praised as being cool. The original Ghostbusters was filled with slapstick and lewd humor that men love(as well as featuring the objectification of women)but when the remake does the same thing(I'd argue they objectify the himbo)it's "just not funny". Charlie's Angels features nearly every single spy movie trope that dudes love in James Bond, but when it's female characters it's suddenly boring and bad. Birds of Prey is the same way, loads of tropes common in every other superhero film, but its just not "good" when it's a female lead film.

The only female lead film with a male villain I can think of that wasn't criticized in the same way was Wonder Woman, and you know what Wonder Woman had? A lead white male character who was a good guy(as well as several other good male characters but they weren't white and I do think race plays into this so I have no doubt if Chris Pine's character was either a woman or removed they would have hated it).

I dont doubt that some of it really is sexism, and men just having internal biases against women, but I think the root of the issue really is white men being desperately uncomfortable when they aren't portrayed in a favorable light in a film. They have no idea how to deal with their only rep being shitty, or shallow, or evil, or dumb, or even just a background character. So they have to come up with other reasons why the film sucked, even if they are doing it subconsciously. Marginalized people on the other hand are all to familiar with the feeling. We deal with shallow objectified women, queer-coded villains, background characters of color who end up evil or dead. Its part of why I think I recognized that feeling when suddenly I was on the other side. When I was the oppressor class feeling uncomfortable with all the characters like me being bad, the butt of the joke, shallow. Why I was relieved when one turned out to be alright.

Im curious if other white people found themselves feeling the same way during Black Panther(which just to clarify was a fantastic film that absolutely had every right not to center white people, or to decide to make all of them villains, and any film centering marginalized people has absolutely no obligation to portray their oppressors in a favorable light) and if any men have every felt uncomfortable watching films where all the men suck. Also just for any input honestly, especially from people of color, I'm kinda considering writing a full essay on the topic so I'd love feedback.

[witchyfoxelf]

2022 in review, part 6: comics & manga first reads

1. orcs! by christine larsen (2021)

this is frighteningly perfect. orcs as protagonists, cute (but not too cute for orcs) art, and just supremely powerful good boy energy. (yeah a lot of the protagonists aren’t boys, but i feel like all orcs have good boy energy regardless of gender.) also it’s kinda gay!

this filled a hole i didn’t even know could be filled (which despite being ace is oftentimes what i’m looking for with orcs, hey-o), with the only problem being that whenever i go out looking for more orc fiction i’m looking for this specific vibe and nothing else has it. woof.

(in all seriousness i wouldn’t want every orc story to have this vibe because that would make it less special, but still i want more of this than this and its immediate sequel, y’know?)

2. the witch boy by molly ostertag (2017)

given the title & author i am less than 0% surprised how strongly i vibed with this. this gave me so many gender feels.

3. batman/teenage mutant ninja turtles (2015-16) writer: james tyrnion iv / artist: freddie williams ii

a love letter to fans of both franchises. this is one of the all-time great crossovers between two totally separate franchises. it might be the best ever.

4. the adventure zone, vol. 4: the crystal kingdom (2021) writers: clint mcelroy & griffin mcelroy & justin mcelroy & travis mcelroy artist: carey pietsch

it took me a minute to get into adventure zone because i was so thoroughly spoiled by the frankly superior dimension 20, but it really does grow on you. and i think the crystal kingdom story is the first one where the comic adaptation actually noticeably improved upon the podcast. the ending especially was just so arresting seeing it in comic form, and it really had an impact on me that i don’t remember it having when i was listening to the pod.

5. superman: birthright (2003-04) writer: mark waid / artists: leinil francis yu & gerry alanguilan

not only is this the best verison of superman’s origin story i’ve ever seen, it’s one of the best superman comics i’ve ever read.

6. batman, vol. 2: the city of owls (2012) writers: scott snyder & james tynion iv / artists: greg capulo & rafael albuquerque & more

what made this so special is not just that it was the epic confrontation between batman and the court (and possibly his long-lost brother). it also had two side stories, one that showed that the new 52 version of mr. freeze is kind of a unique twist on the character, but i'm actually way more interested in the last issue of the volume. this issue featured a pair of super gay siblings named harper and cullen row. harper will eventually become the hero bluebird, but for now we just see her civilian life and how she first comes into contact with batman. and honestly, just seeing these two low-income queer siblings existing and being extremely relatable was such a joy.

7. avatar: tsu’tey’s path (2019) writer: sherri l. smith / artists: dan parsons & jay durresma

basically a drastically better version of the first movie with less human stuff. it couldn’t totally remove the shitty white savior stuff from the narrative obviously since it is following the same events, but it did at least push them off to the side as much as it could.

8. batman: hush (2002) writer: jeph loeb / artist: jim lee

i’ve been a batman/catwoman shipper since before i knew that shipping was a thing, so obviously i loved this. ivy being blatantly femdommy, and bisexual at that, was also extremely, extremely, extremely my jam. yes please. more of that, please.

9. pleasure & corruption, vol. 1 by you someya (2019)

*pounding fist on table in rhythm to words* more. boy. subs. more. boy. subs. more. boy. subs.

i do wish so many authors didn’t seem so convinced that subby boys always have to “deserve it” by being pervs or whatever in stories like this, it makes them way harder to relate to. but yeah. seeing a boy get tied up and bullied a bunch is extremely wish fulfillment imo. also, loveloveloved the heavy emphasis on bondage, obviously.

10. 5 seconds before a witch falls in love by zeniko sumiya (2021)

a super cute enemies-to-lovers yuri about a witch & witch hunter. hell yeah.

[softluci]

don’t ever put me in a situation

cw/tw: several mentions of su/cide; it’s kinda the basis of this post

it’s been a while since i talked about the comedic value of a gen z mc on here, but that’s mainly because it’s been a while since i’ve had a single thought in general. anyway, recently i’ve been tossing around the idea of the brothers being seriously caught off guard by the nature of an average person aged 18 to, like, 26 for different reasons than last time. 

the first reason is that i don’t think they interact with regular humans often, period, let alone for intervals of time long enough to form relationships with them, and i especially don’t think they interact with people that young. like, if they were dealing with humans frequently, it would be people in their thirties, forties, etc, right? like, i know they do business in the human world, but there’s a really off chance of them interacting informally with people so young.

what i’m getting at here, is that at the time the game takes place [i assume 2019 onward], the kind of human they’re familiar with [outside of the ones they torture] is the kind who wants to live. the kind who are at points in their lives where they are secure and comfortable and know what the next few decades will look like, and who look forward to the time ahead of them. that’s a very fair statement to make about the generations above us, right? right. 

this brings me to the second reason. they probably have a lot of misconceptions about humans because of the media they consume. specifically, like, survival type media—like, zombie apocalypse, jigsaw, stuff like that. like, they are seriously only familiar with humans who really, really wanna live. that’s what makes an mc who welcomes death so fun, they’ll give those men whiplash. 

i’m gonna talk about jigsaw to save anyone the trouble of having to look it up. when i say jigsaw, i’m referring to a dumb little man who likes to ride around on a tricycle in a dumb little mask and kidnap people for things he thinks are bad. there are, like, what, three? movies about him. he’s like a really shitty vigilante. anyway, he kidnaps people and brings them to, like, torture chambers where they have to do awful things to themselves/each other if they wanna live/escape. like , this man will be like, “i have locked you in a box that is set to explode once the timer ends, the key to escape is behind your eye.” like, i’m sorry, maybe some 57 year old with a spouse and kids & who bought their house for $3 will find themselves trying to get that key, but i am nineteen, the generations before me have left me with a dying planet and a high cost of living—i am letting that box explode. 

there was a chat where levi, mammon, and lucifer were talking about what they’d do in a zombie apocalypse, or smth like that. lucifer said he’d just kill all of them, which, like, totally reasonable thing to say when you are lucifer morningstar himself, but, like, you aren’t. me personally, in a zombie apocalypse, i’m going to unalive myself at some point, it’s really just a matter of when, and it depends on the zombies i’m dealing with, you know? like, do they move really slow, and are they unintelligent, or are can they sprint and also smell me. if it’s the second one, i’m done on day one. if it’s the first one, maybe week two. what kind of person wants to fight to live in a world overrun by feral cannibals. like, genuinely, who wants to live That Bad. idk, but not me, yall b safe! 

then, there’s like, the game itself. like ik technically all of us are the mc, but if it were me , like , really me , yall . i might just see myself out of this plane of existence on night one because what do i look like—i’m not going to school in an environment where i’m literally never safe, and then living in an equally unsafe (and probably haunted) house. i would simply have to take my leave, it’s true! 

now imagine if i said any of that to them. like, imagine the horror that would be plastered on their silly little faces. isn’t it great? i think it’s great. not only is their leverage gone (you really can’t threaten a person who wants to die), but also, that means, like, ninety percent of what makes the devildom scary is no longer scary. like, if i do that thing lucifer specifically told me to do, what’s the worst thing that could happen? i die? 

[commic-jester]

!!!!!!!!!!! spoilers ahead for the book, miniseries, n 2017 + 2019 movies !!!!

so okay ive read the book through twice now (skipped That One Scene . i might have torn the pages out lolsies um anyway) but ill b honest im bad at retainin info BUT ANYWAY

so the 1990 miniseries adaptation . three hours long . tim curry pennywise . he was honestly so fun tbh . like not scary in the slightest but Fun !!! seth green was richie tozier which i ??? n the worst part is like . hes My richie . when i think of richie tozier i think of Him /neg . anyway .

2017 movie . two hours long . not really as faithful as the miniseries i dont htink but oh well . bill skarsgard pennywise . TERRIFYIN but only in one scene LLLLL . finn wolfhard who plays mike wheeler in st is richie tozier in this n i picture him as richies voice . like seth green appearance wise but finn wolfhard voice wise .

2019 movie . sequel to 2017 . three hours . even Less faithful . james mcavoy was adult bill denbrough which was fun . bill hader was adult richie tozier . :]

okay so actual plot . clown guy pennywise is actually an ancient bein that comes every 27 in the town of derry, maine to kill children !!! seven kids known as the losers club stop him once at 13, then come back at 40 to defeat him one final time .

theres . theres so much w the characters . okay .

bill denbrough . georgie denbroughs older brother . hes the one that makes georgie the paper boat . hes the one who encouraged georgie to play (bill was sick so he didnt go) . he blames himself when georgie goes missin . bill has a stutter n the bowers gang bully him for it . he has a romance w beverly (i dont see it personally) . in the books hes said to b taller than stan but shorter than mike so i assume hes the second tallest . definition of Just Some Guy .

eddie kaspbrak . eddie is bills best friend . theyve been friends for a while before the events of the book . eddie is asthmatic (not really, its a placebo . hes not sick but his mother convinced him he is . oh also every one of these characters either dont have parents or have shitty ones) n thats why the bowers gang targets him . i cant remember how he was described exactly in the books, but im fairly certain he was the shortest . the miniseries has him as blond but the movies have him as brunet so i Dont Know which one is right but in my head hes blond .

richie tozier . trashmouth !!! richie is stans best friend, but knows bill n eddie . cant remember how . anyway . richie has glasses n i think thats why hes targeted (hes also gay but obvi not out . its the 50s in the book n miniseries . in the movies its the 80s i think . i digress) by the bowers gang ?? anyway . richies parents pop up briefly in the books but they kinda . dont do much JDSKLLJFDSK . im p sure richie is shorter than stan so i have the heights so far as mike > bill > stan > richie . anyway richie has a major crush on eddie that lasts for 27 years ANYWAYYYYYY

beverly marsh . bev is the token girl ! she gets bullied for bein a slut (despite not bein one !!!) ig . anyway shes kinda everyones best friend after meetin them but shes bill n bens love interests . in the book there r some really sweet moments between her n richie !! i like their friendship a lot . she has a really bad relationship w her dad in every version, n her mom is dead . shes the only character ever .

ben hanscom . ben is the new kid ! he moves in w his cousins n aunt ! his died died in a war i think ? anyway ! he gets really interested in derry history ! the bowers target him for bein new n fat n henry bowers actually almost carves his name into bens stomach w a knife before ben gets away . ben is also a poet ! he wrote a poem for bev ! "your hair is winter fire // january embers // my heart burns there, too" . ben ends up seein a mummy (hes afraid of mummies + pennywise turns into peoples greatest fears) ! fun !

mike hanlon . mike is the homeschooled kid !! hes like . heavily targeted by the bowers gang . i mean all of the losers are but ESPECIALLY mike . the bowers gang r mega fuckin racist . uhhh mike is the actual historian i think ? i know ben was the historian in the movies but mike is the one w the photo album . anyway mikes parents burned to death ! he lives on a farm w his granddad ! he meets the losers last bc they save him from the bowers gang by throwin rocks at them !!! mike sees a bird that hes afraid of !!! hes prob the most important character when theyre adults but im talkin ab them as teens rn . anyway .

stanley uris ! my blorbo ! richie's best friend ! stan is jewish n thats why the bowers gang hate him blah blah blah anyway he also birdwatches !!! he was the last one to see IT over the summer . i cant remember what form he saw IT in, but he got locked in a standpipe n had to get himself out by recitin bird names ! stan is also a boy scout n a baseball player !!! OH hes terrified of a lady w a flute in a paintin in the movies !!! also in the movies he almost gets his face ripped off by her when IT takes her form !!! in the miniseries, he gets seperated from the losers while in the sewers n almost gets literally murdered by henry bowers !

bowers gang ! patrick hockstetter, vic criss, n belch huggins r all led by henry bowers !!! theyre horrible !!! i dont wanna talk about them !!!!

as adults time . acutally . yknow what . this is too long already i cant do this again . i havent even described some important events . OH WELL

i can’t read all of this in one sitting but i will Come Back To It this is genuinely so cool /gen

[tiiescut]

low tide sentence starters.

these are lines (spoiler free) from the 2019 movie Low Tide, written and directed by Kevin McMullin. Change pronouns where needed!

PETER “That’ll be five dollars.” “I don’t smoke.” “I never tried beer before.” “Oh, that burns!” “What if there’s like, venomous snakes or poison spiders?” “You left me.” “I lost it.” “X marks the spot.” “Collections are always worth more together.” “What happens if someone comes looking for these?” “What if not something I want but... something I don’t want?” “I’m sick of being scrawny.” “What is it?” “I think it’s a miracle.” “You can go take a look if you want.” “Tell no one, remember?” “You can be a real moron sometimes.” “You’re not smart enough to be sorry.” “There’s nothing there.” “It’s not missing, it’s just not there.” “Someone has to stand up to him, you’re just scared.” “I’m taking care of it.” “Take a smoke break.” “Can I borrow this?” “Is dad back?” “We should probably start walking before the sun goes down.” “They’re chocolate.”

ALAN “You’re alive!” “Well yeah, that’s cause no one likes you.” “Just turn the game on.” “We don’t even have an able bodied look out.” “Want some?” “That’s not what I asked you.” “I’ll replace them.” “I’m going to the boardwalk, you coming?” “You can get with a girl anytime you want to, you just chose to hang out with us instead.” “I don’t usually do this.” “I forgot I don’t like heights.” “We’re not strangers... Or, maybe we are, you don’t remember me?” “He’s got a short temper, is all.” “Haven’t been on this thing since I was a little kid.” “How do you know they’re stolen?” “We’re actually just going exploring.” “We should hang out again.” “Don’t miss me.” “Can you please just try?” “My dad will fucking murder me.” “You alright?” “We’re fucking rich!” “When did you get so smart?” “Damn, I didn’t know low tide was so bad here?” “You can fix a lot with money.” “Don’t worry about that.” “One day I won’t even recognize you.” “Things aren’t cursed, people are.” “We deserve it.” “Anything’s possible.” “I can’t trust you.” “Fuck you... hypothetically speaking.” “Shit, are you grown up now?” “You’re bluffing.” “I don’t wanna do this shit!” “If you knew any better you’d be scared too.” “We have to get out of here.” “Yeah, I know, I’m no good.” “I am my father’s son.”

RED “That shit just falls apart.” “Hey, turn that shit down!” “You city shits come down here every summer in your daddy’s car.” “Follow up question, _______________?” “Horoscopes aren’t real.” “We should go explore tonight.” “He wanted his peace and quiet.” “Let me show you how it’s done.” “You aim better with one eye.” “You don’t have your ears pierced?” “Coulda cut you a good deal.” “I’ll be right here.” “I figured the cops got you.” “Look at you! We thought you were dead, man.” “Don’t go accusing me.” “I got the motor going.” “We should be celebrating.” “Find anything else decent?” “What do you think of (name)?” “Let’s go! Did you see that shit?” “You’re not following me, are you?” “I should remind you that what you’re doing right now is harassment.” “I’m the lookout now.” “Let me see what’s in there.” “Throw it here!” “Are these real?”

SMITTY “You assholes don’t invite me no where unless I’m holdin’.” “Wanna know how I broke my leg?” “Cause you’re an asshole.” “We should fucking do it!” “Dude, I wasn’t staring, I just, like, glanced.” “Don’t worry, that means it’s working!” “Hey, did you draw this dick?” “I just need you to cut my hair.” “We’re all fine, no one got arrested, no one’s hurt.” “Why has no body talked about this more often?” “I dunno that’s second date stuff.” “Maybe you’re just paranoid.” “Jesus christ, that’s not funny, you know?” “Did you bathe in cologne?” “Oh wow, I love your tight shirt.” “Gonna take me for a ride?” “Sounds romantic.” “This isn’t a conspiracy, I’m being your friend.” “Right, it’s a possibility, that’s all.” “We should keep an eye out for each other, you know?” “Must be valuable, huh?” “My imagination is running wild.” “I want in.” “I’m no one’s lapdog-sidekick anymore.” “Grandma’s gonna be fucking pissed, man.” “I don’t need a lecture.” “What did I tell you huh? What did I tell you, what did I tell you, oh my fucking god!” ���Common man, wait!” “I wasn’t lying about that, I wasn’t lying about any of that!”

MARY “Alright, it’s off.” “You’re friend with the knife isn’t behind us is he?” “Is that just another nickname?” “I don’t wear jewelry that often. It has to mean something.” “Are you guys gonna stay down here?” “I wrote down my number.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “I was just messing with you.” “So are you gonna ask me out or what?” “You’re so prim and proper at work.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “I kinda wanna lie and say I have mono.” “Do you have a big family?” “You’re doing a pretty shitty job.” “So what are you?” “I doubt my family will allow it.” “It seems like you get into enough trouble.” “My dad thinks it was just some big prank.” “You know you’re fucked up?” “Is this all part of the plan?” “Was anything you said to me real?” “Was that just an act?”

[duskkodesh]

I had to subject someone I love to the Morbius movie. Thoughts that eluded me before (Spoilers ahead. Duh): They really wasted like five minutes on that terrible opening scene with the bats. This was a real decision someone made.

This kid looked NOTHING like Leto. Like I get there’s some suspension of disbelief but this kid has SO MANY freckles that Leto does not have and like... concealer is a thing. Why didn’t they at least make sure they looked alike?

Not a single person in Greece speaks Greek.

Imagining the horror of everyone around me calling me the name of the now dead people who got my room at a treatment center before me.

Why... why the untied shoes? He is a doctor. Give him loafers or crocs or oxfords that HAVE NO LACES. Does the director think that disabled people just wear their shoes untied?

Oh the CGI looks worse outside of a theatre. I watched it in digital XD and this is still wayyyyy clearer and that does not work in its favor. 

Let’s be real here. Legit Morb prolly didn’t even test on mice. He doesn’t think that far ahead. He just went right to self trials.

I hate that I fuckin want his coat but black and purple is my jam. (Sidenote, real Morb would be dressed like Matt Smith’s character. Looking like he crawled from the seventies.) 

You know the fact that this Martine is complicit in this test as opposed to the comic version who was lied to really kinda makes her morally dubious. Like shit, maybe don’t inject your coworker with weird substances on a boat when he asks?

Movie Morb honestly shakes during the transformation scene but... seems to be in no pain. Comic Morb screamed so badly from pain that his buddy shut the test down against his wishes. This is a shitty change.

The lack of actual blood in this movie is a crime committed against the viewer.

The 2019 comic did this attack sequence on the boat better and that was with still 2D images. 

Okay, comic Morbius jumped off the boat to kill himself. That was literally why. So... why did this Morbius jump off the boat? Why know he took the vials with him so... he’s planning on surviving. He coulda just taken a liferaft or hidden on the boat. It’s giant. 

In the scene when he’s off the boat and back in the lab and his legs do the wobbly thing HE STILL HASN’T TIED HIS SHOES?! Next scene when he’s jumping? Shoes are tied and honestly I think they are diff shoes. Echolocation scene? Shoes untied. Locked in the room scene? Shoes tied. At this point I feel I’m just being anal but honest to god I know someone in a wheelchair who likes cute shoes so she just asked me to tie them for her. No big deal.

Matt Smith really does carry this whole thing on his back like freaking Atlas, but also Stroud and Rodriguez are treasures and we were robbed of them. 

There is no consistency in this movie. Even things like the spoon in Martine’s jello cup move multiple times between shots when no one has touched it.

How is there THAT much staff in the building and someone just then finding the dead nurse?

Stroud really did get up about fifteen stories of a building in 20 seconds. 

These guys really saw Morb scale that stairwell and they didn’t have any kind of superhuman containment? Are Venom and Morb the only two supes in this particular universe?

Posters in the bus station: a guy outlined with the word Basilisk across him. Okay, well played. The Lion King? Disney no... Does... does that poster on the left say Demon-Fire? Okay props guys actually read the damn comics! Thomas and Kane. Oh. Oh my heart. Thank you props team! There’s another poster I can barely make out, “Blood of the Corrupt.” 

How the heck DID he get on that bus? How did he get his clothes back? 

Going from taking down pimps and rapists (Comic) to taking down counterfeiters (Movie) is a severe downgrade. 

Every bit of dialog after the diner scene does not match Morb’s speech patterns in the slightest. I cannot ever picture this man saying “Kicks everyone’s asses”

Lucien’s decorating is superb. Like the room that dance sequence is in? 10/10

The bar scene drags far too long. Run time is scarce, it would have been better spent elsewhere.

I still like Martine just freaking scolding Morb for going vampy and slapping the floor. Only thing better would be if she had a spray bottle of cold water and spritzed him with it.

The phrase ‘full Dracula’ should have been nowhere in the general vicinity of this script.

The character deaths in here just have no emotional impact. They feel flat, mostly because Leto doesn’t emote at all. Could they have used CG to make him actually look distressed? 

Also wow he sure stands there a hell of a long time after hearing Martine in trouble. Like... real Morb would act first and zero in on her WHILE running towards the noise. I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate that Morbius does NOT THINK.

This final fight is just as bad as I remember. So bad. Terrible.I am going to spend the rest of my life explaining to others why his powers do not work that way. They could have honestly played Voltaire’s Raised By Bats during the credits and they didn’t. The cowards.

“Based on the Marvel comics” Liars. The credits be like “Dr. Michael Morbius. Dr. Emil Nicholas... Martine Bancroft.”