#but! the yearning for friendship is still there!
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Arcane imagine.
arcane characters react to you confessing your feelings to them.
characters included: Mel medarda, Caitlyn, vi, jinx, sevika
warnings: mutual pinning, yearning, fluff, slight angst, happy ending, implied smut, flirting, kissing, yeah .
Mel medarda;
You've been crushing on Mel for the longest time, you don't even know when it started, as you two have known each other for a while now, you both were kinda friends, you were never really sure, but you always felt so close to her
She had felt the same, she liked sticking by your side, hearing about your day, your projects, what you are thinking, anything, she loved listening to you talk
It was the one thing that made her day better, and seeing your face of course
It happened so suddenly, these feelings you'd never expect just came to you, Mel was just there, and you fell in love
Not that anyone could blame you, really, she's a goddess
you always wondered why on earth she'd spend time with you, someone so beautiful, so perfect, that you can't help but always admire, no matter the time and place
When you're anxious, you think of Mel, she makes everything better
When you're alone, you think of Mel
When you're with mel, you think of her
When you spot a pretty flower, you think of Mel
One time, you unintentionally picked a couple of flowers, making them look all pretty as you practically skipped your way to where Mel would be. But she wasn't alone, jayce was there, another boy she was working with
You thought they looked close, and you started to back away from them, your heart sinking, you felt your throat get tight, god, you felt so stupid, of course she would like a man like jayce, why would she ever like you? You were always just going to be her friend
Later that same day, it had turned to night, you spent the rest of the day in bed, ignoring everything and everyone, you were hurt, confused, annoyed with yourself
You just wanted it all to go away
When you heard a knock at your door, and your eyes widened, you looked up, you were about to tell them to go away, whoever it was, that's when you heard a familiar voice
"hey, it's me."
It was Mel's.
You wanted so badly to ignore her, for her to just walk away, but you knew she wasn't going to do that, you closed your eyes and signed, eventually getting up as you walked towards the door and opened it for her
"what do you want? I'm trying to sleep..." You said, hating how you sounded speaking to her. You watched the way Mel frowned, how she looked so worried, her hand reached out and you flinched, she didn't show how much that saddend her.
"you didn't join me for dinner, I was worried. I had came to check on you, oh! I should tell you on what Jayce and I have been up to so far-"
You shook your head, turning away as your back faced her, "I don't wanna hear about him."
That was all Mel needed to hear.
She smiled, stepping closer to you as she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in, you tried to protect but nothing came out and she wasn't letting you go anyways
There was no point
"tell me what's wrong, I know what you're like when you try and push others away, don't do that to me, please" she murmured, her voice soft and calming in your ears as you stared at the ground
you felt your eyes water
"I like you, Mel" you sniffled, you were ready for her to leave, for your friendship to be over. "I've always liked you Mel, more than how friends should like one another, I just I was so scared. But then I saw you with Jayce, and I got jealous, I grew distant, because I couldn't face you, I couldn't look at you in the eyes the same, knowing that he can be better for you than I could ever be."
For a moment, you didn't hear anything, you still heard her breathing from behind you as your heart thumped loudly in your chest.
Then she forced you to turn around and look into her eyes as her hand grabbed your chin, "you mean more to me than anyone could ever be, Why would you think such things?, you're more than my friend, you're my love, my laughter, my everything, this is all I ever wanted to hear from you" Mel said, she smiled so brightly, she looked gorgeous, you wanted to kiss her
You caressed her cheek with her hand, "can... Can I?" You were hesitant to ask, she chuckled, crashing her lips against yours, you melted into the kiss, wanting to stay here forever and ever, she tasted like strawberries and honey, you never wanted to get rid of that taste
Caitlyn;
Caitlyn knew there was something off about you the moment you stopped talking to her as much like you usually would
She found it strange, so unlike you, she looked forward to seeing you whenever she could and hear your voice
But as of lately, she's been alone and missing a certain someone, you
She's been talking to Jayce and wondering what to do and how she can help you if there is anything going on, she'd want to help, she was your friend, your best friend even
So it hurt her when you suddenly stopped hanging out with her
She couldn't stop thinking about you, if she had done anything to cause this, she was freaking herself out
She had even gone to Viktor and ask for his advice, he was sort of helpful, but it wasn't like he was cupid and had the best advice for crushing on your friend
Caitlyn missed you, a lot
She went to your place to find you, surprisingly, you weren't there, she looked at the library, she didn't see you, eventually, she did find you, sitting outside by a tree, you looked so pretty, she couldn't help but admire, she ran up to you, excited, she needed to be around you again
"Cait?..." You said, looking surprised, she wasn't sure why you would be, she didn't say anything and just hugged you tightly
You hugged her back
"where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you, you had me worried" Caitlyn's words came out rushed, you smiled at her.
"can you sit with me?" You asked.
She happily did.
"what's going on? Did something happen?-"
"Cait, let me speak."
You had cut her off before she could even finish asking more, she immediately shut up, she knew you needed to take your time to gather your words, she wanted to touch you again, but she restrained herself
"there's been a lot on my mind, that's why I haven't seen you, but I need to tell you something" you said, she can see the way you were fidgeting with your fingers, a thing you do when you're nervous, then you just randomly stood up, pacing back and forth.
"whatever you have to tell me won't be that bad-" Caitlyn tried to reassure, still you didn't listen
"I like you" you shouted at her, she blinked.
"you what?" She muttered, still processing your words
"I know this was a bad idea to tell you how I really felt, but I had to, I couldn't not tell you, I really fucking like you, Caitlyn" you said, it almost looked like you were on the verge of tears
Caitlyn stood up, you stared up at her expecting the worst, but then she cupped your face and kissed you
That alone told you enough of what she really meant, as you kissed her back, smiling
Vi;
You have always liked Vi for as long as you've known her, that wasn't anything new, anyone who's ever met you knows about your crush on her, except for one person, Vi
She's always claimed not to be an oblivious person, but people who know her also know that's obvious to see from a mile away
Vi has always been a good friend to you, more than anyone has ever been
Ekko, one of your other friends, has been telling you to confess your crush to Vi for years, yeah, it's not something that's new, you two have known each other for ages, Ekko has been through it all witnessing it, and he just wants you to tell her already
"Ekko, I don't know. I don't wanna ruin what I have with her" you muttered, the two of you were hanging out one night, catching up over snacks and games, you hear him chuckle
"you won't, trust me. I wouldn't be telling you to do this if I wasn't sure."
He was right about that. You've always trusted Ekko no matter what it is, he's always had a good heart
and almost most of the time he was always right
Just maybe things will go okay, if you told Vi how you really feel, she won't stop being your friend, but the fact that everyone else can see your crush on her except for her you just weren't sure
Even when you think you know her, you still can't wrap your head around her
You had planned to tell her this Friday night, where you know she'd always meet at your hangout spot, you wanted to make it look pretty, make it feel special, also it was an excuse to distract yourself from what tonight was actually for
Ekko had helped picked out the music, Vi has always liked metal and punk rock, you were sure in another lifetime she would be in a band
you had gotten the snacks, her favorites and yours, including the drinks and the gift you wanted to give her, you've set up a blanket and pillows down for you both
Your heart felt like it was beating so hard it could rip out of your chest any minute
You checked the time and your eyes widened, she was going to be here any second, fuck
You tried to stop pacing around, before you knew it she had arrived right on time, she greeted you with a smile and immediately hugged you, your cheeks warmed as you hugged her back, god you missed her so much
"what's the special occasion?" She asks with a raised eyebrow, biting her cherry as she laid down onto the blankets. "Everything looks so nice, and you got me my favorites? You spoil me."
You smiled, sitting down with her as you contemplated even telling her how you really felt, with how pretty she looks right now, you so badly wanted to kiss her
"I may have something" you said, finally able to get your words together. "Actually yes, I need to tell you something, vi" you hated how you were stuttering, you bit down on your bottom lip as you avoided her gaze.
"what's up, angel?" She said with a grin, she's always called you that, it's been her personal nickname made for you, it's always made you flustered
"Vi, I like... " You paused, trying to actually look into her eyes without looking away, "I like you."
Vi smiled, she looked like she didn't get it at first
"I like you to, angel" she chuckled.
You shake your head.
"no, vi, I actually like like you, I wanna be your girlfriend."
God you couldn't believe you actually told her
you waited for her to reject you, to just stand up and leave, but she didn't do any of that, instead Vi pulled you in closer, pressing her lips to yours as she kissed you hard, you gasped into her mouth, processing whats happening, that she's kissing you, her lips feel so soft against your own, your hand reached up to cup her face
She pulled away, letting you two have a moment to catch your breath as you felt ecstatic, "vi..."
"I've always liked you too, I'm glad you told me. I was actually planning on telling you myself, I didn't know when but you bet me to it, I'm glad you did, because this was the best, it was perfect."
You smiled, leaning in as your nose brushed against hers, she grabbed you by the shirt, making you fall into her as the night was not over just yet
Jinx;
Jinx had always been by your side for as long as you've known her, you have always been by hers, and she's always been by yours, that's just how you two were, when you met, it was an instant click, it was rare for jinx to experience that, so she kept you by for as long as she can
She loves everything about you, your entire personality, how no matter what you always make her day better, you were different, you meant a lot to her
She meant a lot to you as well
More than she'd ever know
Despite all that was happening, what you two have been through, you have always defended her, even when you didn't have to
She appreciates that, even if she doesn't tell you herself
It's like you somehow knew
She needed you, when Vi left, she needed you the most
You were one of the very few that stuck around, and you weren't going anywhere anytime soon
Jinx notices something was up when you weren't showing up to her place like you'd usually be, you were always around, as of late, she didn't see much of you
She wondered why
Did she do something wrong? Are you finally realizing you're better off without her?
No, she couldn't think like that
She was able to easily find you again, you were standing by yourself on an edge, she was concerned, extremely worried, she was so happy to see you again, but she knew she shouldn't rush you
"hey" you said, she didn't even say anything yet you knew she was here
"hi" she smiled, "what are you doing out here? It's cold" she starts to take off her jacket, she always gave you something to wear even if you don't need it right then
You let her put it on
You've always looked so pretty in her clothes
"you know, you'd be a good model, definitely have the body for it" she chuckles with a grin, unable to keep her eyes off you. She saw the way you looked down, how you smiled, she felt proud of that, a little bit cocky too. "You okay? You wanna tell me what's up? You've been avoiding me. You know how I am when people try to ignore me" she couldn't help but pout.
You turn to face her, finally looking at her, she smiles at the sight of you. "I know, I'm sorry about that, a lot has been on my mind. Jinx, there's something I have to tell you, I can't hide it anymore."
She frowned, unsure of what you meant, were you planning on leaving her? Moving away forever? Was she not going to be able to see you ever again? So many thoughts clouded her
But what you told her was nothing she was expecting
"I like you, Jinx, for so long, I've liked you, and no, not in the platonic way, yes, that too, I mean you've meant something more to me for a long time" you said, staring into her gaze as her mouth hangs open, you what?
She rushes to you, wrapping her arms around you tightly as she feels like she could almost cry, good tears this time, her heart was beating so fast she laughed loudly
"why didn't you tell me sooner?" She grinned, cupping your face with both of her hands like you were her entire world, you are, you've always been. "I've liked you since forever, idiot, jeez, finally one of us came clean about it. I was gonna make a dramatic reveal to you but this was so you. I like it. I really like you too. A lot. Please be mine."
And you happily did, you kissed her, that night was the best night of your lives.
Sevika;
Sevika wasn't an easy woman to read, some people have found it hard to even get under her skin, find out what makes her tick, what makes her squirm, loose balance
But you'd be a fool to test her
Then again, you were always known to be a foolish one
When people see you two together, they can't see it, you were brighter, much bubbly, always smiling then there was Sevika, scary, intimating, will kill you with one look
You two were total opposites, no one could understand how you worked so well together
But you just made it work
You were the book smart to Sevika's street smart, which is why silco partnered you with his most trusted a lot, she couldn't exactly argue with it at first, she still did, complaining about having to babysit you, despite the fact that she wasn't that much older than you anyways
Okay, maybe by a few years older, but you didn't need a god damn babysitter
She knew how to piss you off, and you knew how to annoy her as well
It went back and forth, at first, you two fought a lot,there were a lot of misunderstandings, people were even nervous to get in between you both, you two were just so loud about everything that only silco can shut you both up
Eventually, after a while, a long while, things started to settle, and Sevika understood why silco picked you
She knew he wouldn't pick any random person, he had his reasons
Then something weird started to happen, she grew more protective over you, sure, she knew she was already protective of those she cared most, but you, she wasn't sure about, it just happened all of a sudden, if anyone was bothering you, hell, if anyone tried to hurt you, hell would be unleashed
Jinx would always mock her of how much she protects you and will do anything for you, Sevika tries to fight it, her stubbornness winning, but as soon as she sees you, her walls are being cut down, forced to let you see her, as she watches you from afar, admiring your work and talents, how much dedication and time you put into things, she's actually impressed by you
The first time she ever complimented you had you feeling all giddy for weeks, months even, you wanted nothing more than to be praised by her again
Jinx was over it
How much you talked about her, how pretty she is, she'd literally gagged at how love sick you were about her, she was so tempted to shove you both in a closet to hurry the hell up and get it over with
But she knew sevika would kill her
Then again, she's reached a point where she couldn't care less
When Jinx was able to get you two alone together to finally actually talk things out, she did, she was gonna make it work, even if she had to be dramatic and pull a little strings
She would live with the fact that Sevika was gonna be pissed at her for a long time, possibly forever if this goes terribly wrong, but she doubts it would
It was a late Saturday night, everyone was still awake and hanging around, Sevika was sitting at the bar, right where Jinx told her where to meet, Jinx watched as you finally showed up, looking all nice as she grinned, walking away from it, letting it all play out
"Sevika?" You muttered, confused to see her there
But fuck did she look good
She frowned at the sight of you, about to say something, but her words fell flat at what you were wearing, you looked beautiful
Like really fucking gorgeous
"you look... Nice."
Your cheeks warmed at that, hearing her compliment you as you looked away from her gaze that was too intense for you
"yeah, I was told you'd be here... Jinx told me you wanted to speak to me about something important."
Then it clicked to her.
"fuckin' jinx" she groaned, shoving her glass away. "She set us up."
"what?" You said, dumbfounded, going to sit next to her.
There was a pause, you stared in the distance, distracted, she stared at you more, admiring your features, how pretty you looked in that dress
She's never seen you wear something so formal
It suited you
She bit down on her bottom lip, all of a sudden feeling nervous to speak
"how do you feel about us?" You asked, still not looking at her, she frowned
"us?" She repeated.
You nodded, turning your head to look at her in the eyes
"yeah, me and you. We're a good team, you make a good partner" you say. She felt her heart skip a beat, what the fuck was happening? Why were you being so nice to her?
"what is it" she muttered, "just tell me what you want."
"huh?" You looked confused.
"fuckin' hell" she groaned, running a hand through her hair. "Tell me."
"I like you" you spat out before you could even think.
She raised an eyebrow at you.
"say that again?."
"sevika" you sighed, she liked the way her name sounded coming from your lips, she wanted to hear it again. "This is already awkward as fuck, I like you, okay, fuck, I never hated you, well, maybe at some point I disliked you, at the start, but even then, you're a goddess, fucking look at you, your stunning, anyone would fall for that."
That took her off guard, definitely not what she was expecting
"if you want to cuss me out and stop being partners I'll accept I-"
She shut you up with her lips, pressing herself into you as you almost fell off your stool. She grabbed onto you as you held on tight, kissing her hard, as you moaned into her mouth.
After a while, she didn't want to stop kissing you, neither did you want to stop, you both broke away breathless, pressing your foreheads against each others
"come to mine?" She says with a smile
It's not often you see Sevika smile
"lead the way."
#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane x female reader#arcane x gender neutral reader#arcane imagine#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn kiramman x reader#vi x reader#vi x you#vi x y/n#jinx x reader#sevika x reader#sevika x you#sevika x y/n
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Thinking back on when Robyn was still oblivious to Micah's very obvious crush on him. How in the world did Micah handle that when he brought Robyn along on Ian's wedding?! Like there's no way no one gave him knowing and smirking looks here and there. Knowing Ian he probably was so close to annoyingly mention that to Micah if no one (probably Neil) didn’t stop him. Like that was probably the event where finally EVERYONE (minus Robyn) knew that Micah had a crush and even who that very someone was.
The dynamic that occurs here is that Micah knows he has feelings for Robyn, his entire extended family knows or has figured after a little, but Micah doesn't know that they all know and Robyn is completely oblivious of it entirely.
Some make it more obvious that they see/know he has a crush, like Ian straight-up greeting Robyn with "Ah, and ye must be Robyn! Micah's boyfriend he never shuts up about."
"Pretty sure you're confusing boyfriend with best friend, Mr. Bower."
"How silly of me. Best friend. Of course."
Or Micah's cousins asking if Robyn was Micah's boyfriend.
(Seriously, the amount of times Robyn was called "Micah's boyfriend" that weekend alone, leaving the two of them explaining that "Oh no, no! We're not boyfriends! Just best friends!". Micah's heart cracked a little more everytime he himself had to say that and it got worse whenever Robyn would say it.)
Others were a bit more discreet but still kinda making it very obvious. Lianna, Blair's wife and thus Micah's aunt, brought up how she could feel this aura around the two of them that their paths are intertwined through love mid-conversation. Micah always dismissed his relatives saying stuff like that and told Robyn to not give their words too much attention.
At some point everyone was just knowingly side eyeing them but didn't say anything.
How did Micah handle that?
Micah's feelings for Robyn had grown into a white noise by then. They exist and he knows they do but he ignored them. He pushed every ounce of romantic feelings away and focused more on maintaining the friendship as well as he could. He's gotten used to the little sting in his heart when Robyn denied a romantic relationship. He's learned to mask his frustration and pain. His closer family members could easily see through it but they didn't want to press it, so they let him believe they didn't notice the hurt and yearning in his eyes.
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Seeing my non-binary friend fallen asleep in vulnerable position, only wearing their panties. First I try to not act like the creep I am but given a good change to appreciate their looks without getting caught, I just can't help but start completely devouring them with my perverted gaze. I have earned their trust because I am so shy sexually and I would never want to ruin our friendship by showing them my creepy sides, so I have always given effort to desexualize myself around them as fully as possible, maybe they even haven't noticed my glances that have such a yearning tint in them or the weird vibes I give off when I'm physically close to them, unable to avoid feeling things in sexual way. I have even tried to avoid admitting myself my subliminal deep attraction to them, but it's true that few times I've masturbated thinking about them and getting unusually horny while on it, feeling all ashamed afterwards, wondering why I have to be like this. Their soft fatty ass is so seducing to me that I get all hard just watching. Are they really so innocent they think they can just leave such a treat unguarded and not even realize I'm wired to have my way with that kind of things. I just casually sniff their pussy through their panties, after all that is not so bad than touching them would be, right? But how can I continue to just watch curves like that and not appreciate them with my hands? Why do you have to be so pretty and fuckable, I mutter in my mouth. It wouldn't really hurt them if I just gently moved my hand through their waist, hips, pretty ass, gleaming thighs... after all do not they exist for this kinds of acts and more? Maybe they fell asleep like that because they wanted me to use them. Uhhh, I can't escape the trance they've allured me to, I just squeeze them little... oh how can something feel so good and soft in my hands. I need to rub their pussy a little... mmmh, they're still asleep but it looks their body is already awakening to fill it's purpose. They seem to be close to awakening as they begin to make little happy noises while I keep rubbing them wet. They open their eyes, they are initially confused and unable to decipher what is going on. I realize it's too late for me to stop so I may as well keep going, adding my other hand to play, for caressing the rest of their pretty body. Suddenly they awake fully and a little shock goes through their body as they look at me and realize what is happening, it kind of turns me on even more and I decide I will have my way with them whatever they do or say. I grab their hips and lift them in a proper mating position. They seem to quickly decide to accept their status as my plaything as they bend their back into most fuckable and alluring curve, just ready to take in whatever I give to them. Neither of us say nothing. I begin to tease their wet pussy with the tip and shaft of my strap grinding against their pussy through their panties. The little slutty being can't even keep their pretty mouth silent anymore, it's like me using them like this would be a dream come true for them. I really can't hold on myself anymore so I move their panties aside and thrust into them ẃith my hands grabbing their hips. Nothing has ever felt so good to me, they moan so loudly that I really have to accelerate my thrusting to cum inside them... why do they have to look so beautiful while I'm raping them
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Fusionfall showed us all what a fantastic character bro could’ve been…
& then season five of SJ just used him as a 5 second gag, & then he was used as an empty, repetitive boss in Battle Through Time…
Naw, dawg. I ain’t ever forgiving Genndy for that.
He KNEW the fans loved him but chose to not even properly use the poor demon when he ABSOLUTELY COULD HAVE
FUSIONFALL HAD THE BLUEPRINTS
BUT NOBODY ELSE TOOK EM
It’s what ultimately drove me to finally use my own writing skills to bring justice to his character, show what he’s capable of & how he can drive a plot.
Yes
It’s oc x canon
But that’s beside the point.
He is
SO much more than just the spooky guy who steals souls.
He’s capable of so much more than that.
Hell
I’d argue the way he’s written in Fusionfall makes him one of the few villains in that universe that’s legitimately capable of redemption depending on who may stumble into his life.
I like to think that despite how much he enjoys being independent & putting others below him
He yearns for connections
& he probably would have slowly warmed up to some of the other characters if he ever got the chance.
Maybe he ends up connecting with the other villains, maybe he ends up meeting someone that makes him explore a different kind of life for himself.
Regardless, I genuinely believe he HAS that potential to grow as a character with how Fusionfall sets him up.
Sure, he’d definitely have more enemies than friends, but he’d still find companionship SOMEWHERE
& I’m sure a friendship or even partnership with someone would be beneficial for him, especially as someone who had spent centuries serving under someone else.
Imagine how therapeutic it would be for him to finally have a relationship where both parties have equal power.
That shit would blow his god damn MIND.
God, I LOVE WRITING FOR HIM!!
I DON’T CARE IF I’M ADDING SHIT THAT WASN’T THERE BEFORE, CAUSE THESE ADDITIONS AT LEAST MAKE SENSE & MAKE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE & EXPLORABLE & I LOVE HIM!!
Genndy just needs to hand over the rights to his character over to me at this point. I’ll treat the poor thing better than he ever could. /lh /hj
I've been seeing alot of hear me out cakes so I've decided to make my own
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Erin: Hey Flynn-
Flynn: ( jumps a little) O-oh! E-Erin! Hey!
Erin: ..... Actually, nevermind-
Flynn: Oh, no, wait wait wait- d-did you need something,I'm sorry-
Erin: Stop apologizing, you- ( sighs) You're still so jumpy around me. If you don't want to be around me, just say it.
Flynn: N-no! That's- that's not what's going on at all!
Erin: Then what? We've known each other since we were kids-
Flynn: A-and that's what makes it so weird!
Erin: .....What.
Flynn: Y-you can't tell me all of this is weird, right? We- we used t-to just exist a-around each other! W-we never really talked o-or anything or really knew each other and-
Flynn: A-and now we're in this new space where we- we a-aren't the same a-as we used to be you know? E-everything has c-changed so quickly...I'm still reeling....
Erin: .....
Erin: ( turns away) So you want to go back to how things were. Is that what you're saying?
Flynn: .....I don't know. Being brave....is so hard. E-even now but- ( she takes a deep breath) I-I want to be a person who can at least try to be! S-so.....so!
Flynn: ( takes a step toward, taking Erin's hand) I want to get to know you, Erin!
Erin: ?!
Flynn: I-I always thought that- that being your friend was just some far off dream.
Erin: ....You really thought that?
Flynn: Y-yeah! Y-you were always so cool....a-and a little scary but....you were still always there. I-I would imagine t-talking to you, b-but never had the courage too.
Erin: ( shrugs) Eh. No offense, but I doubt I'd let you in, back then ( looks down at her hand in Flynn's) ......You really want to know me?
Flynn: ( nods, eyes brimming with determination) Y-yes!
Erin: .....Heh.( takes Flynn's hand, and grips it a little tighter. She smiles a little) The name's Erin. Nice to meet you.
Flynn: ( smiles with confidence that she thought would never exist) My name is Flynn! I hope we get along well!
#HGVHVGVGVCG HI THIS WAS MADE ON A WHIM#okay context: flynn and erin basically knew each other since they were kids.#as in they were always aware of their presence bc their frequent trips to the library#but they never really talked. like. at all.#flynn was far too shy and erin was honestly pretty closed off.#so they simply existed around each other#and enter the present: they're both different people than who they used to be#and Flynn is still kinda. getting used to that.#of everyone erin is both the person she feels comfortable around.....but also not.#since again they've both changed and Flynn doesn't know what to do#but! the yearning for friendship is still there!#flynn just has to be brave and she is!#okay that's all lol#oc: flynn 🌺#should i main tag this#this is kinda cringe-#.... okay i will for now#pokemon rejuvenation#pokemon rejuvenation erin
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u ever just have some time to urself to think about bkdk (ur first mistake, bc u are now spiraling) and how it's the "[A] fell first [B] fell harder" trope and how that's like. more or less canon now. perhaps not romantically but how else are u gonna describe bkg's whole ... thing
#man has realized his feelings for deku and it has changed him so dramatically that he DIED#u know how it goes. deku falls first during childhood where he admires and fawns over bkg from afar#always happy to see him happy and viewing him as the image of victory from the beginning#then shit happens and now bkg is left yearning endlessly upon realizing how his mistakes growing up ruined their friendship#and he doesnt see himself as quite worthy of deku's forgiveness but he tries anyway and he is SADDLED with UNNECESSARY FEELINGS#and then he DIES and literally while he dies he is STILL YEARNING#and for what? TO HOLD DEKU'S HAND????????? 😭😭😭😭😭#these bitches are awful i hate them sm#bakudeku#bkdk#becki rambles about stuff
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I talk so much about how i want to fall in love for all the things i could do for someone and all the things someone could do for me but deep down, if i’m being honest, i want to fall in love because i just so desperately need to know that love is actually real and that there are people out there capable of truly loving me
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#just like growing up and losing so many relationships#friendship and family relationships all of it#it’s hard to remember that there are people out there who can love you and that that love will stay#regardless of whether or not you can give them something#idk all the love in my life just feels gone and i don’t really think there’s anything i love anymore sometimes#but then i remember the world is big and i should stop worrying so much for now#i dont know my life is a mess lately#and it’s 5 am and i haven’t slept#and im still grieving things#and hope and patience are so hard sometimes#and there’s something about the ugly side of the whole idea of ‘yearning’ that i think about a lot#because so much of my yearning ISN’T pretty or wistful#it’s achingly desperate and lonely and uncertain#i dont know#i dont know if any of this is worded right#or if it’s all nonsense and i should just be quiet and go to sleep#idk
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In another world--
That one scene from Pride (tee hee) and Prejudice but its um... Them.
More versions under the cut!
I couldn't decide which frame style I liked so here's a bunch!
#i am not immune to a good p&p moment obviously lol#its about the Mutual Yearning ya know? delicious#im still playing around with what my girl is gonna look like in vg#fun fact - she removed her vallaslin as an act of trust (lmao) and now uses henna to fit in and look Properly Dalish :)#i need a scene of rook showing the inquisitor around the lighthouse - any kind of relationship with solas would be interesting!#even friendship and low approval would have some gems im sure#rant over time to mourn the 'past adventures' that carry over lol#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#solas#lavellan#solavellan#fenharel#young solas#dreadwolf#my art#jesus fuck there's a lot of da tags lol#i think i got the main spoiler tags but lemme know if i missed one!
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearning….the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
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my phone fuckin Dead and its been just one day but i keep attaching it to blorbo experiences. liek oh....i am completely unreachable... like tide lambert across the sea.... or oh.... me scribbling in my little note book.... i am like the william wisp.... i took a nap dakota colestyle. i have a favourite knife like vyncent sol. idk what im gonna attach to the winters family yet but oh boy itll sure be something
#im like one of those renaissance women who sit by the window and daydream now#im like one of those people who bake#im like one of those people who remembers their kindle exists and Reads On It#but still.... still.... i yearn for phone#for friendship....#just like ashe in that fucking house all those years AYOO
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I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever met, but the parts of me that come from you will always ache the most
#wlw#lesbian#yearning#homoerotic friendship survivor#I would still drop everything for her now…#I am also very drepressed x
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The way Touga and Saionji have a measure of closeness and understanding only once Saionji is brought into the fold of Akio’s grooming the way Touga has been this whole time…something something the inherent isolation of abuse
#and they can’t even articulate why. they can’t even acknowledge what’s happening is abuse GOD#they can only yearn for and feel warmth about a past that doesn’t exist#hell for touga one that stopped existing far earlier than it did for Saionji#just. goddddddd.#csa mention#tunes talks utena#all this time Saionji wondered why he can’t bridge the gap between him and touga#why he’s ‘special’ and ‘favoured’ and Saionji isn’t#why he can’t understand Touga anymore (if he ever truly did even as a kid)#and now he does. and now he looks at all of that and despairs - realises he still thinks of touga as a friend#KNOWS deep down the discomfort of what is happening to him (otherwise he wouldn’t be so despairing imo) but there’s nowhere to go#there’s only the place where eternity dwells and the prince and a small taste of true friendship at the end of it all#and a fool who can’t desert it#TWO fools to Saionji if his words @ Utena are any indication
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It's so wild and refreshing to me to want to be HERE. In my country. In my general area. Where I am
#for years I've yearned for people from the screens in other countries and always wanted to be elsewhere and it gets hard#especially being left untethered after relationships break or friendships fade#I still have friendships but this is my place right now and whatever I need to find next I have to find it where I am#trying to bond with people locally feels like I'm in school again. super worried it won't work yet so happy when it does#there's an uncertainty to it and it's. different#but also last few times I was with people I didn't feel the need to be on my phone at all save from showing the person something#which is. foreign to me#idk. something is changing and shifting towards what I've been searching for. just a bit#the steps have been small. and are still small. it's like climbing up a spiral staircase#been going on forever. long way come and nowhere near the top#but it's like I just passed a window and noticed the view is really nice out#this was brought to you by: upstairs neighbour woke me up at 4 again#bien rambles
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Unrequired sapphic culture is writing a whole movie script about the horrible homophobic girl who neglected your friendship and never accepted you as gay because you're in love with her and you hate her and- *whisper* wait, that's just me?!
Fuck
#wlw#lesbian#wlw yearning#wlw ramble#wlw blog#this is a wlw post#sapphic#unrequited love#unrequited feelings#tw toxic relationship#tw toxic friendship#toxic friends#for the record: i still love my girlfriend. i just also have very strong feelings for this person who's been in my life forever and#who has hurt me more than anyone else; and like she is an AWFUL person - but she was still my first friend and crush
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google am i on the aro spectrum or am i just a teenager
#ideal partner: someone i can flirt with and do romantic things with but most importantly we just hang out and talk about our hyperfixations#ik a lot of ppl say that your partner should also be your best friend but idk i just dont want the whole established relationship aspect#boy asks me do u love me and im like hell yeah bro we r good buddies . boy asks are you in love w me and i short circuit#google help i am yearning so bad but i dont want a partner i just want to meet someone my age who i actually enjoy the company of#we can do Romance Things for fun but thats not the point. the point is reblogging each others posts on tumblr#i think this is just a result of my elementary school years being so lonely like i never had a friend for more than a year#and even the friends i did have we were never close at all#the longest real friend ive had and consistently talked to ive still only known for like almost 2 years#which is a lot. for me. but the concept of just . any sort of commitment even just in friendship is still so foreign to me#and yeah it would help if ive ever actually had a serious crush on someone that i was sure wasnt just a hyperfixation#but that hasnt happened yet and idk at what age i should finally just label myself and stop waiting for it to happen
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