#btw that's the actual sirius he's pointing at

[theemporium]

Just a thought but Sirius or someone having a thing for you for ages and at some point you finally get together but Remus James and Peter just don’t believe it because you’re so opposite and Sirius just trying to convince them but they don’t believe him until they walk into you kissing or something. Love your work btw <3

kinda changed it to sirius being with someone they never expected but i hope you enjoy it! and thank you!!🖤

.

“Pads is dating her?!”

Remus and James stood in front of Peter, lips parted in shock at the rumour that just left their friend’s lips. They had been in the common room, respective textbooks sprawled around them when Peter came rushing in, eyes wide and cheeks flushed at what he had just seen.

At first, they thought their friend was taking the piss and waited for Sirius to jump out from the shadows with a grin on his face, claiming it was all a prank. But no Sirius had appeared and Peter kept talking and—fuck, they just couldn’t quite believe it.

In all honesty, it was shocking enough that Sirius had settled down with one person, let alone that he was dating you of all people. 

You stood for everything they assumed their friend hated, purely because you would’ve been Walburgha Black’s number one choice to marry her eldest son off with. 

You were raised with the pureblood etiquette, speaking prim and proper and not even allowing yourself to use slang as you spoke. You were a Slytherin, and proud to be so. You were crazy smart and you were the image of pureblood royalty, though the cold shoulder you usually gave people and the snarky attitude didn’t exactly make it easy for even those with a pureblood complex to approach you. 

Even if for some bizarre reason their friend had fallen for you, the fact that you liked him back was shocking enough to keep both boys seated on the couch as Peter retold the story for the thirteenth time. 

“I’m calling bullshit,” James said with a shake of his head. “This must be some elaborate prank he’s pulled off.”

“And what? Got her involved?” Remus asked. 

“Maybe it’s someone with a polyjuice potion,” Peter supplied. 

“Or maybe Pads is actually dating her,” Remus said before his nose scrunched up. “Yeah no, he’s definitely up to something.” 

It took less than five seconds to work out where Sirius was with the help of the map that was quickly shoved in their pocket as all three boys began rushing towards the courtyard, so sure that whatever Peter had seen had to be false. 

Because there was no fucking way that Sirius Black was—

All three boys quickly drew to a stop when they noticed you both. You were sitting on a picnic blanket, leaning back on your hands as you nodded along to something. Sirius, however, had his head propped on your lap, talking away as his hands moved animatedly to the point they could have sworn they saw your lips twitch into a smile. 

“Holy shit,” James gaped at the sight. 

“It could still be a prank,” Remus said, though he didn’t know how much he really believed that himself. 

And just when they thought they couldn’t be shocked any further, you leaned down to press your lips against the wizard, his hand coming to grip the back of your neck as he deepened the kiss. 

“Moony, are you seeing this?” 

“I’m seeing this, Prongs.” 

“Right, great because I think I’m gonna faint.” 

What they couldn’t see was the way Sirius’s lips twisted into a grin as he continued to kiss you, his fingers expertly pulling the clip out of your hair until it cascaded around you both. 

“Your friends are still staring,” you informed him, the words whispered against his lips as you began to pull back but he was quick to chase you. 

“Let them stare all they want, love,” he murmured as his thumb lightly brushed over your thumping pulse. “I bet they are fucking confused.” 

“Such crass language,” you hummed. 

Sirius smirked. “Gonna punish me, love?” 

You shook your head in amusement, pulling back fully despite the way Sirius playfully pouted in response. “You wouldn’t be able to handle my punishments, Black.” 

His eyes gleamed at the challenge. “Is that so?” 

“You are all bark and no bite,” you informed him and the boy was quick to scramble up, his hands darting to your sides as he crawled over your squirming body. 

“I can show you just how hard I bite, love, you just gotta ask.”

.

[lionizingheathen]

Hiii

This is my first time making a request but can you do more of fwb Sirius x reader pleaseee I love your writing btw!! Thank youu - Request

I’ll do my best!

Sirius Black x fem!reader

warnings: smut, fingering, oral sex female receiving, penetrative sex, unprotected sex

SMUT UNDER THE CUT

Sirius Black kissing you roughly against the wall of his bedroom could be considered a religious experience, but it was also one that needed to stop because at some point, you were gonna fall.

There was gonna be strings.

You needed it to be over before that happened.

“We cannot keep doing this, Sirius.” Your tone was firm, but both of you knew that you didn’t mean it… How could you possibly mean it when he smiled at you like that, when his hands felt this good on your body… He knew that his time was nowhere near over.

“Right, love… You said the same thing last time… and the time before that-.” You placed your hand over his mouth, knowing that that was your only chance at getting a word in edgewise around him… Sirius Black was great at a lot of things, talking being his forte.

He could talk his way into and out of any situation very quickly, and right now you needed him to learn to fucking listen.

“Right, but I’m being serious right now.” You said, slipping your hand from his mouth to reveal a crooked grin.  Fuck… Yeah, that was something you should’ve known would happen.

Idiot.

“Funny, I thought-.” You cut him off again, pressing him against the wall as you shook your head.  If he was gonna keep being like this, he could get himself off, and there didn’t need to be a ‘one last hurrah’ between the two of you.  Easy as that.

“If you wanna get fucked tonight, you won’t finish that joke.” You said firmly, and you saw actual remorse in his eyes as he nodded, putting his hands up in surrender.

Pussy-whipped. 

“Right…” He leaned a little closer, pressing a soft, quick kiss to your lips, catching you by surprise. “Sorry.” He mumbled, and you sighed, shaking your head… God, he made it so fucking hard to stay mad at him sometimes.

That was half the reason why you’d tell anyone not to start fucking their best friend ‘no strings attached’… It was almost impossible to break it off.

“Don’t be sorry.” He nodded, looking relieved.  Right, because apologizing isn’t your strong suit… What we’re about to do is. “But this is the last time… So make it count.” You said, seeing a grin on his lips again as you were pulled close for a long, lingering kiss, one that made your knees buckle as you pressed against him, feeling the hardness of his cock through his pants.

Fuck, you wanted him inside you.

“Oh, I will.” He murmured, slipping his hand under your waistband quickly, finding your clit an instant later.  You gasped, your thighs closing around his hand as you looked him deep in his eyes, intent on not letting him know just how much this was getting you, even this little touch… He was electric, he always had been, that was part of the problem with breaking it off.

You always found yourself looking for a recharge.

“Merlin, you’re already soaked.” He breathed, sounding mystified, like that was something new and not something that happened every single fucking time that the two of you were together… You’d think that he was at least a little used to it by now.

“Your fault.” You grunted, grinding your hips down against his hand with a gasp as you tangled your fingers into his long hair, chasing any sort of relief that he was willing to give you right now, sort-lived or not.

You needed to cum.

“Can’t say I hate hearing that.” He brought his free hand up, placing it under your chin so that he could make you look up at him.  Fuck, he looked so good like this… So focused. “Unbutton your pants, I need to move more.” You nodded, pulling your hands from his hair in favor of unbuttoning your jeans and shucking them down your legs.

He let out a sigh of relief as he slid two fingers inside you and curled, making your knees buckle as you gripped onto the fabric of his shirt hard… You should’ve expected it but God… You were never prepared.

“Oh! Fuck…” You gasped, digging your nails into his shirt, hoping that he could feel the sting on his skin… You liked knowing that he was walking around with a reminder of what the two of you had done together.

Possessive?  Maybe, but come on… Sirius Black was fucking hot, anyone with a chance with him would do the same.

“Shit, listen to that…” You felt a hand clamp over your mouth as he worked his fingers in and out, the wet sounds of your cunt filling the room as your cheeks burned… Why would he make you listen to this?  It was mortifying. “You’re so fucking easy for me.” He mumbled, sounding dazed as he curled his fingers deeper, making your jaw drop open as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying hard to think of what to say.

“Shut the hell up.” That wasn’t very eloquent, but it really summed up what you were feeling right now.  If he could shut the hell up, maybe you’d be able to keep your wits about you until he fucked them away.

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he brought his thumb around to circle roughly on your clit, all but shutting your brain off and filling it with one thought: Fuck me till I can’t walk.

God, he turned you into such a slut sometimes.

“You love it when I talk.” He punctuated his words with a thrust of his fingers, making your thighs feel shaky. “This tells me that much.” He mumbled, and you gasped, shaking your head as you fought the urge to moan his name. 

Don’t give him that satisifaction just yet.

“You’re… Too cocky…” You breathed, hearing him chuckle as his free hand came down to grip roughly at your ass, squeezing it hard as you bit your lip.  Yours.  I’m yours right now.

“And you’re talking back a lot for someone who is so eagerly riding my fingers.” You rolled your eyes and sighed, working hard to make sure that you could still talk even as he ruined you… That’d drive him up a fucking wall, he liked it when you were speechless from him.

“You’re… Such… A… Dick…” Each word was punctuated by one his thrusts, and the final one was followed with a dark chuckle.

“Seems like you want my dick.” He mumbled, and you nodded, betraying yourself… It was all you wanted right now, you wanted him to be filling you up, you wanted your face pressed against the wall while he fucked into you hard and fast from behind, whispering all the dirty, nasty things going through his mind.

You needed that.

“… Please.” He paused, his cocky energy only seeming to grow.

Come on…

“Yeah?  Want me inside you?” He asked, sounding just as desperate as you were feeling.  You nodded frantically, head hanging forward as you groped around before finding his cock, pressing your hand against it through his pants.

You want me just as bad as I want you.

“Mhm!  Yes, please Siri… Please fuck me.” You gasped, hearing him let out a low moan as he slid his fingers out of you.  No… You didn’t want him to stop touching you, not even for a moment.

You needed him to need you as much as you needed him.

“Shit…” He slid his fingers into your mouth, making you gasp as you sucked them clean, keeping eye contact with him the whole time.  He let out a shaky moan when he slid them free, kissing you slowly, messily. “God, I have to taste you.” You watched as he slid to his knees, pulling your pants and panties fully off before he ducked his head between your legs, tracing his tongue over your cunt.

Oh god…

“Ah… Sirius…Sirius…” You whimpered, chewing on your lip as your head lulled back against the wall… You could’ve easily stumbled to his bed, and you were hating that you hadn’t at this point, because it was so fucking hard to stay upright.

Sirius, however, seemed content on his knees, pressing you against the wall with a thigh over his shoulder.  He seemed to be good anywhere, so long as it was touching you.

“Mmm… Taste so fucking good…” He gasped, and you bit the back of your hand as you spread your legs further, pressing your back against the wall as you ran your fingers through his hair, shivering at the feeling of his tongue against your clit.

God, he was so fucking good at giving head.

“Sirius, please…” You groaned, not wanting him to stop what he was doing but also needing him inside you… An impossible conundrum to be in.

“Wait.” That command was easier said than done, you were already close to coming undone… and while you could easily cum again on his cock, you just wanted to be full.

“Wanna cum on your cock… Let me cum on your cock, please!” You begged, not caring if someone heard you at this point, because if your friends didn’t already know you two were fucking then they were purposefully ignoring it.

He pulled back, wiping his face on his arm with a grin before he stood up and undid his pants, letting them slide down his thighs.  You reached down, shucking his boxers down with it, moaning to yourself when his cock was visible, hard with a drop of precum on the tip.  You wiped your thumb across it, bringing it to your mouth to taste with a groan.

Fuck, he tasted good.

“When you put it like that… How could I say no?” He asked, and you bit back a grin as he flipped you around, pressing your face against the wall as you arched your hips out and spread your legs, feeling his hand slide over your ass and down to your cunt, tracing over it lightly.

Fuck me already.

“You’d have to be cruel.” You said, your breath catching as you felt the tip of his cock rest against your cunt… It took everything in your power not to press your hips back, to take him inside you right now… But you waited.  You waited for him to make the move.

“And I’m anything but that.” He breathed, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck as he thrust inside you, making you gasp at the sudden fullness.  He moaned himself, massaging your hips softly as he kissed across your shoulders, making you shiver.

“Oh…”

“Fuck… You feel good… So good…” He gasped, thrusting hard and deep, moving slowly at first… God, ti was like he was trying to melt your brain with each movement, and it was fucking working, it was working so well, there was no fighting it at this point.

You were his to use.

“Sirius!  Sir-.” You felt his hand on your mouth a moment later as he sped up his pace, making your vision go white for a moment… God, there was no one like him, nothing had ever felt as good as being fucked senseless by him.

“Sh…” You whimpered against his hand and reached down, rubbing at your own clit as he moved quicker, seeming to be reaching his end.  Good, me fucking too. “Someone could hear us.” That made you laugh a bit as he pulled away.

“Why would… They be listening…” You breathed, knowing damn well what he meant… Anyone would be listening if you couldn’t quiet down enough to ensure that this was a secret.

“Never too careful.” He grunted, his fingers digging into you as sped up a bit more, knocking the wind out of you… God, this was perfect, but it wasn’t everything yet.

You needed it to be everything, you needed him like you needed air right now.

“Oh, fuck… Harder!” You gasped, and he paused for a moment, which was like… The opposite of what you wanted from him - how hard was it to just listen to the instructions that he was given?

“You’re sure?” His question was soft, gentle, and one he’d asked a thousand times before, but you’d never get tired of hearing it… It was a good reminder that he cared.

“Mhm. Harder.  Please.” Each movement that followed put the last to shame, making your head spin as you moved quicker against your own clit, wanting nothing more than to cum on his cock.

He gripped your hips, moving you against him even as he thrust mercilessly.

Yesyesyes.

“Take it, good girl… Take it…” He grunted, thrusting so hard that your knees gave out, and his arm around your waist was the only thing holding you up as your vision greyed out, a familiar coil in your stomach.

“Gonna cum…” He paused for a moment, something that made you think that maybe he was cruel.

“Wait… Wanna cum with you, wait.” You whimpered, shaking your head… God, you weren’t sure if you could wait any longer at this point… You fucking needed to cum, what was hard to understand about that?

“Sirius, please!  Pleasepleaseplease-.” He cut you off.

“Now.  Cum for me.” He insisted, and you weren’t sure what it was, but something in his voice made you come undone as his thrusts became sloppy, his cum filling you up in a way that made you shiver.

“Oh… Fuck, yes!  Yes, Sirius, yes… I’m.. Ha…” You gasped, your orgasm shooting through you as you collapsed against the wall, feeling him heavy against you, still deep in your cunt as he caught his breath.

Fucking hell.

“Merlin, that was good.” He breathed, rubbing your hips softly as he pulled out of you, making you wince a bit at the sting… It never hurt going in, but sometimes if he was rough enough, it stung a bit coming out, no fault of his… Fault of both of yours, really.

“Ha…” You breathed, feeling him press a soft kiss to your shoulder before he turned you around, wrapping his arms tight around your waist so that you could bury your face in his shoulder for a moment, both of you breathing heavily before you broke apart to get redressed.

You grimaced as you pulled your panties back on, knowing that you should clean up… But you’d do it later, you wanted to feel the reminder that the two of you were together now.

“Good one to end on, eh?” He asked, his cocky grin making you roll your eyes as you sighed, shaking your head.

Would there very really be a ‘one to end on’?  You’d both always want more.

“Oh come off it…” You leaned in, kissing him softly before you pulled away and looked down, buttoning his pants for him. “I’ll see you back here again tomorrow.” You insisted, patting his cheek.  You walked towards the door first, knowing the drill - you first, him about a minute later, even if there was just one person outside that door.

You waited to hear his response.

“Brilliant.” As expected.

[theblackstar04]

remus lupin when he was a professor was definitely liked by most students. and whether a student liked him as a person or not, they had to admit he was one of the few DADA professors to actually teach them anything.

i also believe when he was 100% was any 'outcast' or 'weird kids' immediate favourite teacher. oh your mocking/harassing/hexing another student? yeah no get out, house points taken away and detention. it's unacceptable in his classroom and anywhere else he sees you.

his favourite student is luna btw and he's one of the only teachers to let her rant about nargles and etc (though he does adore harry and perhaps sees a bit too much of sirius in him)

[starsval]

wonderland

remus lupin x reader

summary: you and remus find wonderland, or, you fall in love, even if it's not perfect.

word count: 7,7k

warnings: remus has a mullet because i said so, kissing, mentions of s*x lol, like, it happened, reader is pureblood so the cruciatus curse ig, punching, remus being mean, reader gets called a b*tch, lower case intended, no use of y/n

a/n: this took forever and i don't even think i like it, but still, thanks to @myriadmoons and @aastonishment for helping me writing this, love u<3

btw idk why i called this wonderland, it was originally called dancing with our hands tied but i didn't end up writing someone that fit, and for some reason there were lyrics of wonderland on the top of the document since i've been writing it so yeah

"how's my favourite girl doing?" sirius talks as he puts an arm over your shoulders, just as james takes the book out of your hands. 

"sirius black and james potter talking to me when we're not at a pureblood party? what's happening?"

"don't be mean, you know we love you" james replies, putting the book behind his back, so you wouldn't be able to get it even if sirius let you go. 

"we realised we rarely talk to you, which is sad because you're one of the only pureblood people we actually like" sirius then lets you go to play with your hair as he talks. 

"so, we wanted to invite you to the party we're throwing tonight, at the gryffindor common room" james says, but he quickly looks behind you and his friend. 

"you invite me to a party, so we can talk?" you ask, taking advantage of james' sudden distraction when regulus walks past to take your book back. 

"yes, we want to get to know you" sirius is the one who talks now, unaware of the reason his friend suddenly stopped talking

"okay, i'll see you there" you tell them, walking away. 

"what? really? was it that easy?" sirius asks, shocked. 

"yes, i'll see you there, bye" 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"they don't know that you always go to the parties?" lily asks as she puts on her earrings, looking on your mirror. 

"i tend to hide from them" you tell them from your bed. 

"why?" she questions, you shrug, unable to give her an answer.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"so, what's your type?" sirius finds you while you were choosing something to drink. 

"what?" you ask him, accepting the drink he recommends you. 

"what kind of person do you like, men, women, tall, short?"

"tall skinny men with messy mullets, when it looks like they'll break if you breathe too hard on them?" sirius' eyes seem to light up with your answer. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"she's just like you, she likes books and stuff, i swear you'll like her" sirius insists, following remus through the hall, heading to the library. 

"books and stuff? that's all you know about me?"

"i'm telling you i found your soulmate and you care about that?"

"yes."

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you were in the library, focused on your book when three people sat on your table. you look up to find sirius, james and who you know is called remus, maybe your eyes focus on the last one for a bit when sirius talks. 

"we need help" he says, pulling out a book. 

"what?" you ask, uninterested in anything they have to say. 

"we need help, you're like the smartest person we know" this time james is the one who talks. 

"and why would i help you?" 

"because you're a good person?" you don't change your expression "and we'll buy you chocolate the next time we go to hogsmeade"

"help with what?" this time, the boy that caught your eye talks. 

"we need to learn how to do this charm" he points to the book, and maybe you look at his hand before reading the words he's pointing to. you also notice how sirius and james smile when remus talks. 

"why would you need to know how to turn someone's clothes pink, permanently?" you ask, they all look at each other before looking at you. you sigh "why would i know how to do this?" 

"i'd quite fall in love with you if you did" sirius talks. "but you're smart, you'll be able to learn it" you start packing your things. "is that a yes?"

"what do i win?" you ask, already standing. 

"chocolate" you start to walk away, leaving the book there. "we'll give you alcohol at the next pureblood party" you smile before grabbing the book. 

"i'll tell you as soon as i get it"

they all hear you say goodbye to peter before he sits. 

"why did she talk to you?" james asks. 

"we're friends?" peter explains, getting started with his homework. 

"soooo… do you like her?" sirius asks remus, who just rolls his eyes before getting up. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time he sees you, you're walking to him, who's reading at the library. you put the book with the charm before him, and quickly sit besides him. 

"i know how to do the charm… " you wait for him to introduce himself. 

"remus, remus lupin" he answers, putting his book aside. 

"remus, right" you talk, like you didn't know his name before. 

you explain how to do it, and after he gets the theory right, all there's left to do is practise it. 

"i'll do one of his socks and you'll do the other one" you point at snape, who has glared at you since you've been here. 

"i didn't expect you to be like this" remus says, smiling, before slowly pulling out his wand. 

"what did you expect?" 

"i don't know, sirius and james don't usually talk about you"

"i wonder why" you smile, before quietly charming one of snape's socks, turning it bright pink. "your turn"

remus copies your actions, successfully turning snape's left sock pink. you look at each other, quietly laughing, and quickly pack your things so you can walk out before he notices. 

you walk next to him in the hallway, though neither of you know where you're going. 

"what do you need the charm for?" you ask him. 

"we're pranking someone" he explains. 

"should i be scared?" you question and he chuckles. 

"no, your clothes will be safe"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time you talk, he's the one who approaches you. 

"can i sit here?" he points at the chair next to you "i want to study but they're being to loud" you nod, and you talk as he sits. 

"why don't you do a silent charm on them?" he chuckles. 

"they'll find a way to be even louder" 

and that's how it starts, neither of you know why, but since then, we you enter the library, you immediately look for each other. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"you're the one who did that research on werewolves aren't you? teachers don't stop talking about how good it is" some guy asks you as he stands in front of you, the table in between you two. 

"yes" he was one of those pureblood guys, who only cared about their status. 

"you didn't talk about them being bad people" you stare at him, trying to find out why he's telling you that. "i just thought you'd like someone to tell you about your mistake"

"it's not a mistake, they aren't bad people" you tell him. 

"well, then you're wrong, they're obviously bad" he rolls his eyes, like it's obvious that he's right. 

"did you just come here to talk shit about werewolves?" you focus on your homework, mentally aiming in case you have to throw something at him. 

"no, i came here to see if you were a respectable pureblood, but let me guess, you fight for elves' rights too?" he seems upset with you, but he doesn't leave, instead, he looks at you like a challenge. 

"what, you want me to join your cause too and fight for arseholes' rights? maybe we should put your face on the banner so they know how one looks" you smile sarcastically at him. 

"what is wrong with you? i just wanted to let you know that werewolves are bad and you're being a bitch" he seems actually upset, his superior grin gone now. 

"oh, so you were looking out for me? what would I do without people minding my business? now just shut up and maybe look into your prejudices instead of my life" you stop looking at him. 

"how can you think that they aren't bad? i thought you were smart" now he seems offended that you aren't like he imagined, but maybe he thinks that he can change you, because he smiles again. 

"sorry to disappoint you. and, something can be dangerous but good at the same time, just because they have claws doesn't mean they'd stab you, but maybe a girl who’s been bothered by you will" you say, as his eyes go to the pen on your hands.

“did you just threaten me?” he has the audacity to look offended as he talks.

“i don’t know, did i? a bitch like me wouldn’t know” you smile, faking innocence.

"you’re fucking crazy” he mutters as he turns around.

when he leaves -not before insulting you again-, neither of you notice a certain tall guy, with scars on his face and a knitted sweater standing around a bookcase, listening to all the conversation.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know how, but james and sirius convinced you to hang out with the marauders, maybe the mention of some boy with honey eyes and a mullet, but still. you find yourself on the gryffindor common room, listening to them as they tell you about their best pranks.

and remus must’ve sensed that you’re cold, because the next thing you know is that hes handing you his sweater.

“what?” you ask him

"you're cold" he shrugs. 

"but, what about you?" you question, not taking the sweater. 

"i'm fine, just put in on love" you obey, thanking him before looking back at james and peter, acting as you're not noticing sirius' smile. 

when you finally get up to go back to your room, while peter, james and sirius are too distracted talking to frank, you take of the sweater and hand it to remus. 

"what?" he asks, frowning. 

"it's yours" 

"you can give it to me other day"

"but i won't need it"

"love, just let me have an excuse to talk to you" he tells you, and you stop for a moment before answering, not believing him. 

"you don't need an excuse to talk to me" he smiles. 

"keep it anyway" 

"if you insist" he kisses your cheek goodbye, and that night you're only thinking about him. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"please just this once" james asks, and it looks like he's actually going to beg you to help them. 

"i don't have time for pranks" you walk away, and the four marauders immediately follow you. 

"you just need to distract him" sirius talks, walking to stand in front of you. 

"and why would i do that?" you ask, going around him. 

"because you appreciate our friendship?" this time is peter who talks, and you actually think about it for a second. 

"i don't-" before you can finish, remus intervenes. 

"love, just this once, okay? then we won't bother you" and you know it's not true, that they will bother you. but every doubt you had disappeared as soon as he talked. so you nod. 

"where is he?" 

and that's how you find yourself talking to binns, asking him about his class, solving questions you never had. 

then you see remus walking towards you, looking so innocent, and you keep nodding at binns, like you're so interested in what he's saying. 

when he turns around due to the sound of an explosion that you definitely had no idea about, remus walks next to you, grabbing your hand, and suddenly you're running down the hallway next to him. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus’ face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching as you giggle.

“why are we hiding?” you ask, a smile not leaving your face and his hand not letting go of yours.

“because, certain friends of ours are bothering me" he closes his eyes, his forehead on yours as he talks. 

"what if they're not bothering me?" you joke, sarcasm in your tone. 

"oh, so you're saying I dragged you into this cupboard?" he pulls away, his hand on his chest as he acts offended. 

"yes, i didn't expect this behaviour from you, lupin" he rolls his eyes at the mention of his last name, as you laugh. 

"then leave" he challenges, but his hand doesn't let go of yours. 

"ok" you say, but you don't move.

when you walk out of the cupboard, both of you hear people talking. 

"do you think they're dating?"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you're just peacefully lying on your bed, reading a book remus had lent you when someone opens your door. you assume it's one of your roommates when that someone approaches you, grabs the book from your hands, and turns you so you're on your back. just to lie on top of you. 

"hi" you say, not sure what to do when he puts his head on your chest and closes his eyes. 

"hi love" he replies. and after a while he lifts his head, grabs your hand and puts it on his hair. 

"what are you doing?" you question him. 

"touch my hair" he demands, and you don't, just to mess with him. 

"what if i don't want to?" you smile, and he groans. 

then, when he notices that you're being serious, he puts his head up once again, this time to glare at you. 

he repeats his actions and puts your hand on his hair, and closes his eyes again. 

"don't move"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"what did you do?" you ask remus as he sits in your bed. 

"they were talking shit" he says as you go to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit you keep in there. 

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit?" you stand in front of him, in between his legs. 

he doesn't answer, instead, he winces when you start cleaning his face. 

"remus?" you insist, waiting for an answer 

"yes?" he acts oblivious, though it doesn't last much, as you start cleaning his face again, you mutter a quiet sorry before talking again. 

"why the fuck did you get into a fight?"

"they were talking sh-" you glare at him. 

"lupin"

"last name basis?" he tries to smile at you, but you turn his face to the side so you can look at the bruise forming on his cheek. 

"yes, answer" he sighs before talking. 

"i told you, they were talking shit" you keep glaring at him until he talks again "they were talking shit about you"

you stop moving for a second, processing the information. 

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit about me?"

"yes" he stares at you, waiting for a reaction. 

"are you fucking stupid?"

"maybe that wasn't the reaction i expected" he mutters to himself. 

"you are actually stupid" you don't talk again, you just focus on cleaning his face, which means he has a lot of time to talk. 

"what did you want me to do? i just couldn't stand there as he was saying how you were a bitch and shit like that" he groans when you don't answer "i warned them, i said that if they didn't stop i'd punch them"

"oh, you warned them, how nice" you reply, sarcastically. 

"don't be mad at me, please" he wraps his arms around your legs, and puts his head on your stomach. 

"what do you want me to do?" you put your hand on his hair. 

"i don't care, just don't be mad at me"

"oh, so i should just congratulate you? thank you so much remus for defending me, should i kiss you to show my gratitude?" 

"you could kiss me, not because of that, but you could" you don't even acknowledge him as you walk to the bathroom to throw away everything you used to clean his face. 

when you come back, he's in front of you, touching your cheek as he talks. 

"you're not gonna say anything?" he asks, as you try your best to not look away from his eyes. 

"about what?" he chuckles, but doesn't move his hand away from your face. 

"about the fact that i said that you could kiss me" you fail your goal, because your eyes immediately go to his lips. and of course, he notices. 

"what do you want me to say?" you ask, rolling your eyes at his smirk. 

"i think the question is what i want you to do"

"you just got into a fight" you remind him. 

"just because you're mad doesn't mean you can't kiss me"

"i know"

and you really know, so you kiss him. and it starts as a sweet kiss, slow, just to prove that it's real. but then one of his hands goes to the back of your neck and the other cups your jaw. 

your hands go to the back of his neck, finding balance when he pulls you closer to him.

you pull away for a second, breathing heavily as you look at each other's eyes. 

"we shouldn't do this" you remind him. 

"i know" he says, slowly walking so you have to walk back. 

"i'm still mad at you" you tell him, sitting in your bed, looking up at him. 

"i got into a fight because of you and you say that?" he smirks, pushing you so you have no choice but to lie down. 

one of his knees rests in between your legs, his hands on both sides of your head. your hands go to the back of his neck again. 

"you wound me" he tells you, before kissing your neck. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you had plans today, it was friday and you had no classes after lunch, so you were gonna start getting ready and maybe drinking with the girls before going to the party the gryffindor were hosting. 

but those plans got a bit ruined when you got a letter from your family during lunch, which usually meant bad news. 

you don't really remember a lot from the letter, all you know is that you had two choices: marrying barty or getting disowned. 

after reading the letter, all you can do is put it in your pocket and try to stop the tears coming from your eyes. you don't even look at your friends or at the food that remus put on your plate. instead, you think about the words you just read. 

"i have to go" you suddenly get up, grab your things and walk away, not noticing the concerned looks on your friends faces, especially on remus'. 

they all stare at you as you walk out the great hall.

you find an empty hall and sit in one of the windows, finally letting out the tears. you don't long how long you stay like that, but suddenly someone walks next to you. 

"hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay" all you notice are the tears running down your face, and remus' arms around you. as he holds you and tells you that everything is fine. 

once you calm down, he waits a bit to ask

"what happened? do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, and you don't even look at him, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes. 

"no, it's okay" he seems disappointed with your answer, but doesn't stop rubbing your back "thank you" 

"it's nothing" he tries to find something to say, something to comfort you, but before he can even think of anything, you get up. 

"you're going to the party, right?" you look at him, drying your tears. 

"are you gonna go?" he asks, frowning. 

"yes" he seems a bit surprised, because now you're smiling. 

"then yes" you smile even more at his answer. 

"i'll see you there" you give him a quick peck on his cheek before walking away. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time remus sees you, you're dancing, lily and marlene next to you.

he stands away for a bit, not in the mood to dance, but when he sees you're gonna refill your cup for the fifth time since he has been there. he decides to approach you. 

"hi" he says, standing next to you.

"hi remus" you smile at him, drinking from your now full cup. 

"how many of those have you had?" he asks. 

"i don't know, seven, maybe eight? who cares" you tell him, holding his hand and dragging him to the dance floor, but he quickly redirects you to one of the sofas. 

"i do, you're gonna pass out if you keep drinking" he says as he tries to get the cup from your hand, but you quickly move your hand away and frown. 

"i'll be okay"

"no you won't"

"i'm not even that drunk"

"you saw sirius and called him reggie" you smile, remembering the horrified look in sirius' eyes. 

"they look alike" you shrug.

"you should stop drinking"

"i'll be okay" he tries to reply, tries to tell you that maybe you won't, but you get up, and before he can even stand up, you get lost among the people. 

the next time he sees you, you're on the couch, head in your hands as you try to stop the tears from your eyes. 

remus sits next to you. a hand on you back as he leans to see your face. 

"are you drunk?" you nod "do you want to go to sleep" you nod, so he gets up and holds your hand, making your way through the crowd. 

once you reach the hall, he doesn't let go of your hand. he notices that something's wrong, he notices that you haven't complained to sirius about being in a pureblood family, like you do each time you receive a letter from them. he notices that you're trying not to cry. he notices that you're barely holding his hand, maybe it's because you're drunk or you're too sad to. 

and he wants to say something, he wants to help. but he decides to wait until you're in your room. he helps you get your makeup off and change into your pjs. he's folding your clothes while you're sitting on the side of your bed when he hears smalls sobs. 

he immediately sits next to you, drying your tears. 

"it's okay, everything will be alright" he hugs you, mentally cursing when you shake your head. 

"you don't get it" you tell him, in between sobs. 

"then explain it to me" he says, wondering if it's the same thing as what happened at lunch. 

"i can't" you sigh, pulling away from him as you dry your tears. 

"yes you can, i want to help you" his hands go to your face, holding you. 

"you can't-" you insist, putting your hands over his. 

"please let me help"

"remus-"

"i don't care if it's hard, i want to help" he insists, staring at your eyes. 

"let's sleep" he knows better than to insist more, so he just lets you sleep. 

when you wake up, you don't talk, you just walk with him to breakfast, and when you're finished, you walk away, not letting him know where you're going. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"i don't know what's happening in between us, but-" you look away from his eyes "i can't do this"

"what?" he asks, praying that he's dreaming, or that it's a bad joke, praying that you're not breaking up with him, even if you're not together. 

"what did i do? what happened?" he tries to find your gaze. 

"you didn't do anything, i just can't" i have to marry someone else. 

"let me fix it, whatever i did, let me fix it, you can hate me but don't go away" 

"i'll probably leave school as soon as i can" you admit, you don't even know why, you just don't want to disappear without explanations. 

"what? no, you can't leave" he panics, he looks around trying to find someone laughing at him. he doesn't. 

"i'm sorry" you talk, unable to look at his eyes. 

"don't, please, don't apologise" he says, grabbing your hands, in case you want to run away. 

"i'm so sorry" you repeat. 

"you don't have to do that" he insists, because he doesn't want to lose you. 

"i don't want to hurt you" you tell him, thinking about the letter your parents just sent you, thinking about your future, which is already decided, not by the stars, but by your family. 

"then stay, stay here, with me" he pulls your hands, so your bodies are closer. 

"you know i can't" you lament, even though he doesn't know that much. 

"yes you can, you just have to try" he suddenly lets your hands go, taking a step away from you. and you try to get mad at him, but you can't, not when he's looking that hurt, hurt by you. 

"remus-" you try to get him to listen, maybe if he gives you a chance, you'll show the letter to him, you'll explain everything to him. how you have no choice but to listen to your parents. 

"are you even sorry? you don't seem to have tried to stay" you know he doesn't mean it, he knows he doesn't mean it. but it's better that way, it'll be easier if he's mad at you. so you don't answer. you just stare at him.

"you're not gonna answer?" he asks, tears on the corner of both of your eyes. "i thought you liked me" you swear you can feel your heart break as the words leave his mouth. 

"i do-" he cuts you off. 

"then why don't you stay? is it just a game to you? you wanted to play with me?" he keeps talking, he tries to stop, he wants to, but the hurt in his heart makes him keep going. 

"i didn't, remus, it's not that easy" you tell him, begging him to understand. 

"i never said i wanted things to be easy. especially not with you" he fights the urge to walk away, thinking that maybe there's a chance that you'll change your mind. 

"i don't want to hurt you" you repeat, maybe more to remind you than to him. 

"you're already hurting me" 

"you have to understand"

"when you defended werewolves from that guy you already knew i was one didn't you? maybe he was right and you're a bitch after all, did you tell him that just to shag me?" he doesn't even blink as he talks, pretending he's not mad at himself right now, even more than with you. 

"you don't mean that" you say as the tears fall from your eyes. 

"oh, i do" that's what it takes for him to finally walk away, letting the tears out of his eyes. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you couldn't focus, it was all too much. the pain from the unforgivable curse, the sadness from your own family doing that, the realisation that you could never go back to your house. 

all you could do is try to not pass out as you walk to the potter's mansion. 

once you reach their door, and ring it, you wait. you don't know if it was ten seconds, ten minutes or even ten hours. all you know is that when james opens the door, you practically throw yourself at him, who catches you as he calls for his parents. 

"i'm sorry" you whisper in between sobs. 

"it's okay, you'll be okay, everything's going to be fine" james tries to not show the concern on his voice, he really tries, but everyone must've sense it, because remus, sirius and peter quickly appear, staring at you as effie kneels down next to you. 

when you finally pass out, all you know is that it hurts, everything hurts. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you wake up with effie folding clothes next to you. 

"oh hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" she immediately sits next to you, touching your forehead to check your temperature. 

"good" you answer, quietly. 

"you have clothes here, you can take a shower and i'll make dinner" she walks to the door as you sit up. 

"effie, thank you so much, you don't have to do this, i'll be okay"

"we'll talk later" she doesn't give you room to talk, instead, she leaves after giving you a smile. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

effie and fleamont sit in front of you as you eat, staring at you and then at each other.

"we want you to stay here" fleamont is the first to talk as soon as you finish eating. 

"what? no, i can't, i'll find somewhere to stay"

"no, you'll stay here, we have your room ready" effie insists. 

"i can't" 

"sweetie, there's no way to stop this now, the faster you accept it the better" fleamont talks as effie gets up and tells you to follow her to show you your room. 

they leave you a moment to see your room before walking in. 

"thank you so much" you say before they hug you, drying your tears before they fall on your face. 

"it's okay honey, you'll be fine" they assure you before walking out of the room. "and, by the way, the boys are sleeping, we'll tell them to come here when they wake up, they're really worried"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

he thinks it's unfair, remus thinks that it's unfair that you're talking to peter like nothing happened, that you're playing quidditch with james and sirius like you weren't crying in his arms just a few weeks ago. he thinks it's unfair that you haven't even glanced at him. he thinks it's unfair that you look like nothing ever happened, he hates that you're acting like everything it's okay, like you're not hurt by your family, by his words.

he also thinks he's being selfish, by slightly hoping that you're as hurt as him. that you think of him as much as he thinks of you. he hopes that you also have the urge to go to his room in the middle of the night. he hopes that you're as jealous as he is when someone starts flirting with you at the party james organised at his house. 

but he also thinks that none of it it's possible, that you look way too happy to be thinking of him, that if you're planning on getting drunk, you definitely don't want his help. 

he doesn't know if it was between staring at you as you flirted back with that guy, or when he was searching for you while you were nowhere to be found. but he gets drunk.

and suddenly, all the doubts he had about you disappear, because you're next to him, rubbing his back and asking him if he's drunk. and you wouldn't help him if you hated him would you?. 

he just stares at you as you hold his hand and make your way through the crowd, not so kindly pushing people who didn't move. you help him through the barrier james magically applied on the stairs so no one but his friends could walk upstairs. 

when you reach his room, you help him walk to his bed, which is kinda difficult seeing his stumbling tall figure. once he is in the safety of his mattress, you walk to the door, but his voice stops you. 

"i can't sleep with my shirt on" when you turn around, he's smirking. 

"then take it off" you turn your back to him again. 

"i need help" when you turn around, not before rolling your eyes, he's giving you puppy eyes. 

remus lupin. is. giving. you. puppy eyes. 

"you aren't that drunk" you don't even move from the door. 

"yes i am. you're really gonna leave me here, drunk and defenceless?" he lies back on his bed. 

"are you trying to blackmail me?" you frown, leaning your back onto his closed door. 

"is it working?" he asks, hoping it does. 

"no" he sighs, before leaning on his elbows to look at you. 

"c'mon love, just help me take my shirt off" you don't answer, instead, you just get closer to him, and help him sit up, once he is, he doesn't move, he just looks up at you. 

"you're not gonna put your arms up?" you groan, frustrated, when he just smiles at you. 

after a few minutes of work, due to his boycott, you finally take his shirt off, throwing it aside before walking away. 

or that's what you try, because before you can even turn around, his arms are around you. and you don't know how he's so strong, or why you didn't try to fight back more, maybe it was the alcohol. but before you notice it. you're on the bed next to him, and he's hugging you so tight that you have no choice but to fall asleep. 

when you wake up he's still hugging you, luckily not as strong as last night, so you can get up and slowly walk to the door, quietly closing it and making the way to your room. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus is almost convinced that it was a dream, he thinks he imagined everything when he wakes up and you're not there, he thinks it was his mind tricking him when you sit next to marlene at breakfast. even though he purposely left the sit next to him free. 

he's basically drowning in his tea when marlene says something that makes him look at you. 

"where were you last night? you left soon" he stares at you, noticing the way your eyes linger at him for a moment before saying that you were tired. and it would be childish for him to admit that it made him happy, that he doesn't even notice the hangover now, that he's smiling so much that even effie asked him about it. 

and it would be even more childish to admit that he's been giving james the idea to throw another party just before holidays end, that he doesn't need to invite anyone, just the group of friends it's okay. and who is james to say no to a party?. 

he spends more time that he wants to admit staring at you. as you talk to lily and mary, as you almost make sirius drop his drink, as you hug james. and especially, as you ignore him. so he does what he knows will make you talk to him, getting drunk. 

it follows the same order as the other night. you approach him, lead him upstairs and help him get ready to bed. 

"why did you leave?" he asks, holding your wrist after you tried to walk to the door. he sees how you think about the answer. and to be honest, he didn't think he was ready to hear it. 

"because that's what a bitch would do" you break free from his grip and walk to the door. he just stays there as you go back downstairs. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next morning, no one knows why remus looks so miserable, why he's being so grumpy to everyone, except you. why he's putting food on your plate, why he's making everyone put on the movie you want to see. 

they also don't know why you're ignoring him, why you offered the plate to james, why you changed your mind and told marlene to decide what movie to watch. 

but you knew, you knew because you've been listening to him apologise every other minute, you've been listening to him knocking on your door every night. you've been reading his apology letters. 

but that wasn't enough, because just two days before classes start again, he decides that he's had enough, and that he won't leave before giving you a proper apology. so he follows you to the kitchen when everyone is focused on the movie. and he stands on your way to the door so you have no choice but to listen. 

"i didn't mean it, and you know that, you know i'd never think that. and i know it's not an excuse, but it was days before a full moon, and i wanted to hate you, i wanted to hate you for making me love you and then leaving me. and i wanted you to hate me because i wouldn't be able to be around you. and i'm so sorry, i'll do anything to take it back, i need you to understand that i didn't mean it, and that i'm so sorry i ever made you feel bad. there's no day i haven't thought about you, about how much i miss you, about how i ruined everything. so please, give me a second chance, i'll apologise every minute if i have to, i'll do anything for you to forgive me. because i don't think i can stand the thought of what we could've had if i hadn't ruined everything." he takes a deep breath "i'm so so so sorry"

and you know that you shouldn’t, that he’s hurt you as much as you’ve hurt him. but you’re both teenagers, you both make mistakes, and you both miss each other. so you do what everyone would’ve done in this situation, and hug him, breathing him in.

“does that mean you forgive me?” he asks.

“yes, i’m sorry” you close your eyes, your head in his chest.

“you have nothing to apologise for, love”

“yes i do-” he cuts you off by pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“let’s just go to sleep”

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know why james drags you from the kitchen, where you were talking with everyone, to your room, with the suitcase half done on the floor. you don’t know why he slams the door. or why he’s staring at you like you told him you forbade quidditch.

but then he talks.

“did you forgive him?”

and you remember the conversation you had with him after spending a few nights here.

“weren’t you two in love?” you’re on his bed, still not used to your new room, you’re both laying on your backs, him throwing his snitch and catching it.

“who?” you ask, staring at the ceiling.

“remus” he says it like it’s obvious, and it actually is.

“i don’t know” you shrug. 

“what happened?” he asks. 

“i ruined everything” you explain. 

“that’s not true” he frowns. 

“how do you know that?” you chuckle. 

“you wouldn’t ruin anything” he says, so sincere. 

“i was supposed to marry barty” the snitch falls and hits his face.

“what?!” he immediately sits up. 

“so i told him i couldn’t do whatever we were doing" 

"and he just accepted it?" he's frowning even more. 

"he was sad at first, then mad, but he stopped talking to me, so it worked" you shrug again, and he gets closer to you. 

"mad?" 

"it's okay"

"i know how remus gets when he gets mad, did he say something to you?" he looks worried, already thinking about punching remus. 

"nothing to bad, the normal when the person you're in love with and it's in love with you dumps you for no reason" 

"what's the normal?" he questions. 

"james, it's okay"

and with that beautiful flashback, you come back to an angry james in front of you. 

"don't dare to move, i'll talk to you later, let me have a chat with remus first" he tries to get out of the room, but you stop him. 

"james wait" 

“stop trying to defend him, and don’t try to walk away, you won’t move until you tell me everything” he stands in front of you, arms crossed. 

"james let me explain" 

"you want to talk? talk, i'm not leaving until i know everything" he sounds determined, and you know that he won't stop until he knows everything. 

"there's nothing to know, just leave it" you insist. 

"what did he say to you?" he takes at step, so he's closer to you. 

"james-"

"what did he say to you?"

"james, stop"

"now, i won't stop until you tell me what the fuck he told you, and why you're together with him after that"

"because it doesn't matter, it's already over"

"it doesn't matter?! you're saying it doesn't fucking matter? after weeks of seeing you miserable, and because of him?" he pinchs the bridge of his nose. "honestly, if you're not going to tell me what he told you, then don't even bother talking"

he tries to walk away, again, but you stand in front of the door. 

"what's the point? i already forgave him, so, what are you going to do, make me leave him?" you question him, praying that he doesn't actually say yes. 

"you don't know what i'm willing to do for you happiness" he tries to walk past you, but you don't move. 

"please don't be mad at me" 

"then tell me what he said to you" his eyes soften, looking at yours. 

"why? what are you going to do about it?" 

"it depends" he avoids your gaze. 

"james."

"maybe punch him" he looks away. 

"james" 

"please tell me what he said" he asks, this time softer. 

and you don't know why, maybe it's the look on his eyes, or the fact that you know he wouldn't let it go until you did. but you say everything to him, from how you approached him, how you were both almost crying, how he walked away. 

and it takes him a moment to react, he's sitting in your bed, and you immediately get up to stand in front of him. 

"james…" he gets up. 

"i need to have a chat with remus" he tries to walk past you, but you don't let him. 

"james."

"what?"

"please, just, stay here with me. you can help me pack" you give him your best puppy eyes until he agrees, sitting on the floor next to you, passing you clothes as you put them in your suitcase.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

and it all looked perfect. it seemed like james had already forgotten everything by the time dinner is ready. and it seems like he's really happy when he suggests to watch a movie. 

but then something changes. maybe it was remus' hand on your tight, or the fight scene on the movie. but the next thing you know, is that there's a fist right in remus' face. and that fist belongs to james. 

"you said you wouldn't do anything!" you immediately get up, putting yourself in front of remus, while sirius and marlene pull james back. 

"i had to!" he says. 

"james!" you fight the urge to roll your eyes. 

"i'm sorry! but i couldn't help it! i had to do something about it!" he explains. 

"about what?" lily asks, and you stiffen, looking at james with wary eyes. 

"yes, about what?" james asks you, and you glare at him as mary and peter take care of remus' face. 

"about nothing" you immediately say, backing up as they all stare at you. 

and they're complaining about it as soon as you say it, but remus stops them. 

"about me hurting her" no one knows how to react, you just stare at him as he stretches his neck. 

"you fucking hurt her?" lily talks, walking towards him, and it seemed like she had the intention of repeating james' actions. so you step in front of her. 

"it's all forgotten, there's no reason to punch anyone" you stare at james "especially when you promised you wouldn't"

"i'm sorry-" he tries to apologise. 

"it's okay, i deserved it" remus talks. 

"no you didn't?" you tell him, but he just smiles at you. 

"i'm going to sleep"

you all stare at him as he walks upstairs, and when you turn around they're all staring at you. 

"if i forgave him, you can do it too" you say, especially looking at james. "so, i hope you apologise to him, because he deserves it"

when you get to remus' room, he's looking at himself in the mirror. 

"i'm sorry" you sneak in front of him, hugging him as you put your head in his chest. 

"why" he chuckles, hugging you back. 

"what do you mean why, are you stupid?" you questions him. 

"love, it's not your fault" he smiles as you narrow your eyes at him. "i deserved it" 

"shut up" you immediately pull away from him, storming out of the bathroom. 

he grabs your wrist before you can walk out of the room, and as soon as he gets it his arms are around you. 

"don't be mad at me" he pleads, and when you don't answer, his lips go to your cheek. "please" 

when you don't answer he just keeps kissing you. 

"please"

this time is your other cheek. 

"cmon love"

your forehead. 

"just talk to me"

your nose. 

"please"

your lips

"love" 

your neck. 

and you know that he'll start going lower if you don't stop him. and you know that if he does you won't be mad anymore. so you pull away from him. 

"you're stupid, remus lupin" you glare at him "if you ever say that you deserve any hurt ever again i'll be the one punching you instead of james. and i'll also cry" 

"why would you cry?" he genuinely asks, putting one of his hands on your cheek. 

"because you don't deserve anything bad remus. you're literally an angel" 

"don't say that" you frown at him, and he looks away. 

"remus, i mean it"

"i know" he puts his forehead on yours "that's why i don't want you to say it"

"why?"

"because it's gonna make me love you even more"

before you can answer, he's kissing you again, this time for real, when he pulls away, he stares at you. 

"i know everyone already says that we're dating, but can we make it official?" his hands are on your cheeks, and he thinks that he's never been more nervous in his life. 

"i'd love to" this time, you're the one who kisses him, and you stay like that for a while, in each other's arms. before someone knocks on the door. 

when you open, you find james on the other side, with regret in his eyes. 

"can i talk to remus?" you narrow your eyes at him as remus appears behind you. 

"it's alright love" 

you go to the living room with everyone, and before you know it, james and remus are walking in, talking and laughing. 

everyone stares at them as they get closer to the couch. 

"what?" they ask, staring back at you. 

"everything's… fine?" lily asks, and when they both smile and nod, everyone smiles and cheers, a bit exaggerated. 

remus sits next to you, putting and arm around you and kissing you. 

and if before they were dramatic, now it's like their favourite team won the quidditch world cup.

"what?" this time remus and you ask, staring at them. 

"you just kissed?" mary says, not believing it. 

"yeah?" you answer. 

"why" marlene asks, narrowing her eyes. 

"we're dating" remus says, and the night ends between cheers, screams and hugs. 

sirius and james even cry a bit, hugging each other while saying "finally!" "we did it!" 

[iamnmbr3]

I've been reading a lot of drarry fics lately and one of them got me wondering. In a hypothetical world where everything was pretty much the same but Harry and Draco did end up together, would Ron and Hermione accept their relationship even if begrudgingly or would they be antagonistic about it? And if they didn't accept it, with your perspective on canon Harry do you think he would choose Draco or his friends? 🤔

This is a fascinating question. (Btw huge shoutout to you and all the lovely people who send me so many interesting questions and observations).

So first off there's the question of whether Ron & Hermione would accept their relationship. (To some extent of course this depends on the context of the Golden Trio's relationship at that point; for example, if they've drifted apart or something then things might be different.)

But let's assume they all stay close and remain each other's found family as we see in the books. In that case, I actually think they probably would accept the relationship. Ron stood on a broken leg at the age of 13 and told Sirius that if he wanted to kill Harry he'd have to kill all three of them. And we see they have both risked their lives for Harry time and time again. They even followed him into a deadly Fiendfyre blaze even though neither was enthusiastic about saving Draco or Goyle.

These two have been ride or die for Harry since the age of 11. They love him. They might not agree with his relationship with Draco and they might well think that Draco is using Harry or that the relationship will end badly, but I don't think they would abandon Harry over it.

Now, Harry would probably worry about what they might think. Hermione was called a mudblood by Draco and tortured in his living room. Ron was bullied constantly by him and his brother was permanently maimed because of Draco's actions. He might worry that his friends might not understand or might be very angry. But I also think he trusts Ron and Hermione especially after all they've been through by the end of book 7.

I think Harry is someone with great force of will and determination who is not easily swayed from why he believes and is willing to defy people over those beliefs. At the same time he's someone who tends to be conflict averse with his friends. But only to a point. I mean, he sure wouldn't let the Draco thing go during book 6 despite Ron & Hermione's urging. I think if he loved Draco he would fight to be with him. And I think Ron & Hermione would not turn their backs on him over it. Ron probably says something to the effect of since he already had to go on the worst camping trip ever while on the run from a murderous maniac there’s no point in dropping Harry now.

Also, I think first he'd become friends with Draco before actually starting a relationship (even tho Ron & Hermione might start suspecting where this is going) so that would give him time to introduce the concept and start easing them into it. And they'd probably express reservations which Harry would either dispute or just kinda ignore. I think it'd take a long time for them to be truly won over though.

The person who's most worried is probably Draco. I think he'd be convinced that openly being with him would end up ruining Harry's life by permanently tarnishing Harry’s image and destroying his relationships with his friends. I think he would have a lot of anguish and guilt over any tensions that arose due to him and I think he might even try to convince Harry to end things with him bc of it and then he’d really try to get Harry’s friends to tolerate him for Harry’s sake.

As for what Harry would do if his friends made him choose. I think if he truly loved Simone he would put them first. I also think he’d choose the people/person who didn’t force him to choose. If Ron or Hermione turn their backs on him then I think there are already other tensions in that scenario and it’s a situation where the friendship doesn’t survive the war. Like maybe Ron and Hermione don’t work out long term, Ron regresses to his worst impulses and becomes consumed by jealousy of Harry’s fane and bitterness over feelings of inferiority and then the last straw is Harry getting together with Draco Malfoy of all people and they have a falling out. But yeah. I don’t really see it in canon. Ron and Hermione don’t like Draco but they don’t deeply hate him because he hasn’t done anything especially awful to them. Sure they dislike and distrust him and have a lot of negative feels about him. But they love Harry way more than they dislike Draco. They probably worry Harry is making a bad choice. But they don’t abandon him.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Dogs 2

Dodie Smith: i've got another story about pongo and missus King: ah do the dogs go on another fun adventure? Smith: no this time aliens put all humans to sleep and give dogs psychic powers King: Lovecraft: Barker: Poe: Koontz: WOWWWW Koontz: BEST STORY EVER!

Smith: ok so all humans are catatonic now and there's only psychic dogs Smith: and the dogs think 'oh i bet cruella de vil is behind this' Smith: 'we should go murder her' Smith: 'like, we should just go fucking murder her' Smith: 'put a fuckin bullet in her head'

Smith: but the dogs find out that cruella de vil isn't actually behind it Smith: so that puts a crimp in their plan to murder her Smith: then sirius the dog star comes to earth Smith: like the literal star

Smith: you know, he has the super power to appear as any dog breed Koontz: [sullenly] i wish i had that power Frank Belknap Long: dean remind me to talk to you after the story's done Koontz: no i don't want a fursuit, i want to do it for real!!

Smith: so sirius the dog star is all 'god i'm so lonely, i wish i had a dog' Smith: 'i wish i had ALL the dogs' Smith: 'would you dogs like to come live with me in space' Smith: 'like where laika lives' Smith: 'in a big nebula with a lot of space to run around'

Smith: so sirius is all 'dogs of earth, would you like to come live with me in space' Smith: 'WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE??? WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE???' Smith: 'WHOS A GOOD BOY??? WHOS A GOOD BOY???'

Smith: sirius is all 'you should all come to space and live with me in space' Smith: 'you'll know true bliss in space' Smith: 'and also you'll avoid complete eradication in nuclear apocalyse' Smith: 'cuz, oh yeah, that's gonna happen btw'

Smith: if they choose to go to space Smith: then all memory of dogs on earth will be erased Koontz: no Smith: no one will remember that dogs ever existed Koontz: NO! Smith: it will be as if earth was always a dog-free planet Koontz: NOOO!!!!!!

Smith: now the dogs of earth have to make a weighty decision Smith: will they go to space or will they stay loyal to their masters? Koontz: oh god oh god Koontz: please say they stay!! Smith: so the dogs decide… Koontz: yeah?? yeah???

Smith: the dogs decide… Koontz: WHAT DO THEY DECIDE!?!?!? Koontz: I NEED TO KNOW!!! Smith: the dogs decide… Koontz: AUGHHHH!!!!!

Smith: the dogs decide to stay on earth because, even though earth is imperfect, it carries the promise that maybe, someday, every good dog can find a home Koontz: b-but they're ALL good dogs! Smith: exactly Koontz: Koontz: whoaaaaaa

King: wow uh King: that's some story King: not what i expected Barker: oh that's british kids lit for you Barker: it's all bonkers Roald Dahl: ee hee hee Barker: i mean Barker there ya go Barker: case in point

King: really? all of it Barker: oh yeah trust me [meanwhile] Beatrix Potter: my story is mr thumpybunny minds the shop Enid Blyton: my story is Giggles the happy gnome runs afoul of an irishman JK Rowling: Rowling: you know what i'm going to sssay

[moonstruckme]

Ooo! Happy 6k btw, could i get the mae's rambles for poly!maraudes and this concept; actor!reader x poly!maraduers. Just fascinated by the film, they were the main character in, always complimenting how good they are, lots of kisses and praising, and ofc lots of fluff

Hi, thank you !

so depending on how famous you are, you might not tell them initially that you're actually in stuff and one day you come over and they're all watching your film like "you seriously weren't gonna say anything"

sirius wants to come on set and see how everything is done, esp makeup and costumes

similarly to with stage actor reader, remus is really the only one you can practice your lines with because the other two boys are just terrible and they make you laugh with their over-the-top delivery

sirius becomes convinced remus also needs to be an actor after you compliment his delivery, and remus has to stay away from your sets for a few weeks lest sirius try to "network" for him with your producers

sirius is kind of like one of those child actor moms, he's always demanding you have the scripts first, you have x foods in your dressing room, despite you telling him to back off

james eats all your dressing room food

if you ever go to a premiere you have to secure tickets for both james and sirius to go with you (remus wants to support you, but those sorts of events are his personal hell) and they're both very extra with their outfits

james is starstruck around any of your costars while sirius plays it cool to the point where everyone thinks he hates them

[rosamariaa]

I've been thinking a lot about a remus/sirius Ministry of Magic office AU..

Often I see ppl talking about what would Sirius work with if there wasn't a war going on and he could just live his life in peace and one of my favorite headcanons is that he would be an 'Unspeakable'. Those are the ppl that work in the department of mysteries, that by itself is one of coolest things in the wizarding world, according to me. The department of mysteries is responsible for confidential studies of death, love, time etc (A lot of crazy things that honestly no one should have to mess with but obvs they do anyways...) It's high-level security place, no one besides the researchers are allowed in those chambers. No one even knows who are those researchers and what they do, actually.

Buut, its sirius we are talking about and the guy is a genius but also can be pretty reckless and, in this specific scenario, I think he would be a borderline "crazy scientist" so. He fucks up down the line. I don't know what he does, exactly, but it's something that put his and others researchers' lives at risk. Bc of that, he is sent to work in a waaay more mundane department: Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. It's a cool department!! Remember that first poa scene where harry turns aunt marge into a balloon etc? well those are the guys who they call to fix that. They even have a Obliviators division, responsible for changing Muggles' memory in case they are exposed to accidental magic. Those guys are full of themselves and annoying as hell, btw.

and I see Sirius being sent there, after The Accident. It's cool in theory, but most of the time it's puuuure paperwork and it bores sirius to no end.

well, guess who works there as well. Our guy, Remus j. lupin.

Remus isn't one to do field work so he mostly works in the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee division (god I love those long ass names). Basically he comes up with stuff to excuse magic happening in the muggle world etc. like when peter killed a bunch of muggles and the muggle paper said it was a "big gas explosion". Pure paperwork. Boring as hell.

Anyway, Sirius turns up there out of nowhere and he is the office sweetheart. It fucking boggles remus mind, like. Sirius always goes to the office parties and seems to be friends with everyone but no one knows anything about this guy. He just gets there, a almost 30 yo with a bunch of obscure work experience and no one knows what he did before that, who his family is, where he is from and how the hell does he knows the stuff that he knows.

Sirius is great at field work, he mostly works directly in the Obliviators division and remus is really great with the paperwork stuff sooo they get paired up a lot. At first, they are a bit annoyed by each other (my fav wolfstar flavor). It's funny because they actually agree with almost everything but they just approach things veeery differently and so they are bickering all the damn time. And Sirius is a Certified Little Shit™ and is constantly doing things that drives remus a bit crazy. Once they had a case of a water fountain exploding bc two wizards were fighting in a public park and instead of obliviating the muggles into believing it was only a piping problem or whatever, he went out of his way to turn it into a sort of elaborate flash mob that went viral on tiktok. Remus spent the night awake documenting everything. He wanted to strangle sirius that day.

between late nights working and lots of crazy field work (thanks to sirius) those two end up getting closer and closer. Remus still thinks Sirius is a bit insane, but now in a I-want-you-to-fuck-me-into-this-desk type way. Sirius, on the other hand, doesn't let go of his previous research. I think that back then he would, specifically, study and experiment a lot with Love, in special familial love (yep.) The thing about those confidential dept. of mysteries' experiments is that they can be pretty... unethical. And that's the break point of their story: Remus finding out about Sirius research and finally wondering at what lengths did sirius went to understand something as complicated as Love and what the fuck he did to get banished from the department back then, and worse: if he ever used remus in those experiments. and even more worse: The fact that remus doesn't stop loving him even if he did.

A last fun fact is that they, at one point, would have an inside joke about that "MIB: man in black" movie, they watched it together one late night and sirius kept referencing it when he went to obliviate muggles and remus thought it was the funniest silliest thing ever

[voidpacifist]

potter-verse headcanons that I choose to view as canon bc fuck jkr <3

*I redid these bc james' lineage was pointed out to me in a previous comment and I don't wanna disregard it so I tweaked a few things to keep it true to the lore while also spiting the terf

this will be very long btw

starting with the marauders era (sorry this is basically an essay now)

adding onto that, I just would love to see his inner conflicts and hopes and ambitions and dialogue more flushed out, because I really don't think him being rejected by an old flame is at all cause enough for him to suddenly just hate children. even his rivalry and bullying with/from james doesn't feel like the push that comes to shove idk

severus snape is not an abusive man. in my opinion, the way that he's written makes him seem like a very cause to effect character without much complexity to him other than that he was in love with lily evans. in my mind, he's lily's closest friend and defender for most of their growing up together at hogwarts, especially after he begins unlearning blood purist ideologies. he tries to protect her from james potter, who's antagonistic of blood purists by nature, and also a massive troublemaker. thinking it will get lily hurt is what ultimately fuels his hatred of james (that and the fact that james is just kind of a dick to him the whole time they're at school together)

an earlier commenter pointed out to me that james' grandfather invented fleamont's hair potion, so the inheritance of that success would make james' family quite well off. and while he grows up with a very good home life and very loving parents, I imagine james also feels quite stifled sometimes, being that he's an only child with a lot of room in his house and a lot of legacy to carry. it's not like he has a complex about it, but he's sort of a steve harrington-esque kind of character. he's not a complete asshat, but he does experience a lot of growing pains and contentions to his worldview on multiple levels when he first becomes acquainted with lily and severus, and even when he first meets the other marauders. it adds a lot more interest than just making him the charming class clown, and james being desi adds another layer of complexity to him too. (I'm quite curious about how desi metaphysics are practiced, and how that would be a shift for him going from eleven years of his own household magic to hogwarts magic)

adding onto that, it's why he and sirius become such fast friends - sirius feels estranged from his own family, and james' only family are his parents and grandparents. they're closer than sirius and his own brother are. this does certainly make things strange and angsty when regulus takes an admiration to james that sirius notices, when sirius himself is constantly being compared to his more "ideal wizard archetype" younger brother his entire life

in fact, regulus' admiration of james starts as more of a scientific sort of reverence - he wants to understand how a pure blood can be so defiant of the ideas that suggest he's more worthy of practicing wizardry, let alone a pure blood who has come from so much. he learns quite a lot about james through sirius, and when he actually meets him for the first time, he's nothing like the troublemaker prince charming that everyone expects him to be. it's the first time reg experiences real endearment to someone who isn't in his own family, and even that kind of love is conditional at best (shout-out to walburga and orion black for their a-plus parenting)

it makes it that much more painful when he sees that james, while kinder and more considerate than he seemed at first, only thinks of him as sirius'-younger-brother-who-isn't-actually-that-terrible-perhaps; when he sees that james only has room in his heart for lily evans, who by black family standards isn't worthy to have any knowledge of the magical world, let alone belong in it. and he's trying to be better and to understand, but even the kindest blood purists are still blood purists, and it will take him years after this heartbreak to rectify that mindset - even as he's defying voldemort himself

lily grows up in scotland, and while her parents love her and petunia very much, they're constantly fighting. she and tuney often spend time together, and when lily's magical talents start to emerge, she at first asks her big sister, her protector, her closest friend, to keep this secret from their parents. so imagine the heartbreak when lily's owl comes in the mail, and instead of the magical announcement being a complication for their parents, the evans' are overjoyed. imagine the betrayal that petunia feels when, after years of borderline neglect to the both of them, lily leans into the praise and attention she's now receiving. and she tries to make it up to tuney - she even grows a flower in her own hand hoping to make peace with her only real role model in life, only to have it shut down by being called a freak. things only get worse as tuney is left at home with quarreling parents while lily gets the privilege of being away from all of it. the number of letters she sends to dumbledore begging to learn magic, then simply begging to see her little sister more than just during christmas, should be enough to convince the old man to have some leniency, but dumbledore doesn't

now let's talk about peter pettigrew. we all blame him for the downfall of james and lily that kicks off the tragedy of harry's childhood, which we should. but the why of it feels important to me, so personally, this is how I see his psyche playing a role: what if he grows up in a religious household? now I know how that sounds, but hear me out. peter grows up in a religious family because his parents carry some sort of shame surrounding their magical lineage. maybe it's because their squibs, maybe it's because of other trauma from being discovered by muggles, etc. regardless, he grows up discouraged from using his magic, but instead of suppressing it and developing an obscurus, he learns how to hide it. he practices his abilities in secret, until he's a very good liar with the worst case of people pleasing. so when his owl comes with his hogwarts letter, his parents are less than happy about it. he's sent to live with his aunt when he's not at school. in the meantime, he hides as much as he can about his family from the marauders. remus has his lycanthropy to worry about, and sirius already has an even rockier home life to begin with. so it's no wonder that peter latches onto james - ironically, james becomes a secret keeper of sorts for him. but peter is never close to him the way sirius is, or even remus. he's forgotten by his friends, disregarded by his parents, and written off as soft and submissive by his other peers and even the teachers. it makes him all the more suggestible when he's sought out by voldemort, who promises him a place of belonging, which is all that he's ever wanted since he was a child. he's hidden things from the people closest to him once before, so he can do it again, right?

until of course, voldemort actually physically manipulates him with an imperius curse. and all it takes is one curse for the dark lord to convince peter that his friends can never take him back, not when he's killed and maimed and cursed and destroyed lives as much as he has. "not when you're my most trusted servant, wormtail." in short, peter pettigrew is and always will be remembered as a coward. but before he was a coward, he was in pain. and voldemort used that pain to turn him against his only friends before his only friends could turn on him

speaking of other death eaters, let's talk about regulus again for a moment. in an audience-sparing plot, regulus lives. in an angst driven plot, regulus drowns. so for the sake of compromising realism for emotional lenience, let's say nobody actually knows what happens to him. there's all kinds of rumors about the missing black brother, but the truth is that regulus doesn't drown. he's badly hurt in his attempt to destroy the locket, because not only is that thing messing with him psychologically, it's also a pain in the ass to try and get rid of. brutally injured and looking for a place to hide, he enchants a supply cabinet in a muggle cafe to expand into his own flat, which looks to non-magic users like any old closet, even if they try to open it. kreacher is left the locket along with regulus' note, because he doesn't want to be found (great opportunity for him to make a sneaky little appearance in the first half of the deathly hallows though, when the golden trio are debriefing in a muggle cafe...)

remus grows up in a really good home, but like james, he feels a sort of isolation. not because of his class status but because of his condition. as his body begins to mature in his teenage years, his lycanthropy also "matures," taking a bigger and bigger toll on his body until by the time his third year starts at hogwarts (between growth spurts and growing pains and the intensity of his transitions), he can't walk without using a cane. he's pretty sickly as a child anyway to begin with, so more often than not, he spends a lot of time in his bed in the gryffindor common room. this means when a lot of the pranking and troublemaking is happening, he's either in the background unable to do much more than try and dissuade his friends, or he isn't there at all. it isn't until a little way into his fourth year that he begins actively participating in marauders shenanigans, including helping with the construction of the map. I imagine he and sirius both have feelings for one another during this time, but these feelings cannot or do not go acknowledged until the later years (like, year six or seven)

when it comes time to meet sirius' family, sirius has already been disowned by his birth parents and is extremely distant from his brother and cousins. all of course, except for his cousin andromeda, who reaches out to him after the news of his erasure from the family tree makes it to her. this is actually how remus meets tonks in my mind - because during the whole "meet the parents" thing, he meets ted, his wife, and their daughter nymphadora

that's all I've got for now from the marauders era but the golden trio era is a whole different ballgame (and probably way longer sorry in advance)

let's start with harry. petunia is not near as strict with him as vernon is, but they're both abusive to him in ways that are physical and psychological. dudley, of course, is given everything by his parents to the point of spoiling, while harry is forced to feed off of the leftovers. and while he definitely inherits his father's "fuck around and find out" personality, he's a lot less likely to fuck around with the dursleys. in fact, he's much more quiet until he gets to hogwarts and blossoms. I also think his scar is much more noticeable and does much more alteration to his face. because it's the aftermath of the killing curse, it makes him much more likely to die just from a physical standpoint than from simply a plot device standpoint. voldemort is obsessed with killing him, and incidentally, he's a very easy person to kill

however, this doesn't make harry a weak wizard by any means. his magic is incredibly powerful and he's incredibly cunning with it. it's why the hat finds it equally appropriate to sort him into slytherin, other than the obvious connection that he and voldemort share. but this does mean that other people's perceptions of him are that he is weaker. draco thinks he can easily manipulate him. ron underestimates his understanding of the wizarding world and how to defend himself. hermione even has her moments, though hers are more a concern for his well-being as a target of all sorts of evil wizardry. even still, it's a shock and a half to go from being consistently neglected and abused to being coddled and handled with kid gloves all the time. it's no wonder his "fuck around and find out" attitude we see in the books and films also comes to life due to the way he's being mistreated - whether that's with good or ill intent

ron is not only his first friend, but also the first person harry is formally introduced to. he's harry's gateway to what the wizarding world looks like outside of school. of course, molly weasley immediately decides this makes harry her son as well as ron, and it's nice for ron to have a brother his own age. but as the youngest son in a family of seven kids, with one of the honorary offspring being famous in the wizarding world, it's easy for him to get swept up in the idea that he's the afterthought of his friends and family. as a result, he tries emulating harry's attitude towards the world, but whereas harry's is built up by his upbringing and those around him, ron's is built up out of spite. it creates resentment when they're horcrux hunting together, because ron not only hates that harry is refusing to be taken care of - he also hates that nobody's taking care of him

it's why I think he and luna lovegood make an excellent pair. luna is an uncommonly kind person by nature, and we already know in the books that she takes a shine to ron. I wish we'd seen more of them in canon, so it's my personal philosophy that they should have been together instead of ron and hermione. luna really softens the resentment in ron, because she takes so much in stride that it sort of rubs off on him. and ron brings out something very protective and fiery in her. if she weren't a ravenclaw, she'd make an excellent gryffindor, though honestly she's such a multitudinous character already that she'd do swimmingly in almost any house, in my opinion

more on luna: she and hermione were actually quite close as first years, but grew apart because while luna was accepted for her neurodivergence, hermione was singled out. there's not much difference between the two of them other than the two factors that luna doesn't mask her traits, and is a pureblood. at the time that they're both eleven, I imagine eleven-year-old blood purist logic would muddy a friendship rather quickly, especially when you're trying to seek acceptance from your peers. this isn't to say that luna is a cruel person by any means - it's just that hermione has to work harder for her fitting-in-ness. naturally, being in different houses and different circles of peers along with all the other factors, they grow apart. four years after they've met, luna is simply "looney lovegood" to hermione

hermione's parents are very eager muggles to integrate hermione into the wizarding world. the two of them meet in college, when both take an interest in metaphysical studies and the history of witches and witchcraft. though it starts as a scientific fascination, hermione's father turns out to be a rather superstitious man in the first place. when their daughter receives her owl, both of them are overjoyed at the possibility of there being a world where their fascination with magic and the occult is real. the only reason they both go into dentistry (and together at the same office, no less) is because they're ridiculously in love with one another and want hermione to have a stable childhood

snape ends up being a very protective teacher over harry. the reason he hides it is because he knows dumbledore is on the hunt for power and control, however much the man tries to disguise it as working for the greater good. the headmaster simply believes harry is the perfect conduit to attain those things, and rather than view him as a threat, dumbledore views him as a tool. snape is desperate not to see harry become a pawn, the way he did, but he also sees so much of james in him that it's hard for him to reconcile any outward respect for him. this makes snape a very cold man for harry to cross (and he's already cold enough for several other reasons), but in my personal opinion, it does his character a disservice to make him outright abusive. he's dismissive and intense and extremely aloof, but never does he use it to punish harry himself. snape's only seen as a shifty, mean person by harry because of how similar he is to petunia and her dismissal of harry at home so by god do those trust issues jump out between these two. it's by no means a father + son dynamic, but it's certainly a begrudging guardian + clueless guardee dynamic, if that makes sense

in fact, when snape realizes draco is also dealing with abuse in the home, he makes it a goal of his to do what he can to make sure their time in his class is as easy as possible. of course, true to severus snape fashion, he does this in such a way that it seems like he's going to single them out when in reality, he's only breeding an environment where draco and harry start having a tentative, mutual respect for one another. this is at first very confusing for hermione and ron, as well as draco's circle of friends. but these two are nothing if not stubborn, which means cycle breaking is what they're destined for

this paves the way for draco and hermione to be in each other's circles. mutually indifferent to one another at best. detestable to one another at worst. very much enemies to lovers, until hermione bests draco in a dueling practice and draco gains some respect for her. he learns that she is a very well schooled person when it comes to traditional witch traditions and rituals; that she recognizes the holidays that christmas and halloween are bastardizations of; that she does in fact "respect her betters," because she respects her magic as the sacred gift that it is. at that point, does it become allies to lovers. and when the second wizarding war rolls around, he does everything he can within his power to play the roll of double agent. snape becomes his mentor in that regard in more ways than one (he has to kill dumbledore and he has to outsmart voldemort, homeboy is stressing)

hey speaking of pairings, the only original pairing that I tend to keep the same within the golden trio is ginny and harry. it is the sole good pairing that jkr brought to the table. I still have a few notes on it — I just wish there was more development with them. I wish there was more canonical tension than "brother's famous best friend," because while ginny is a wonderful character on her own, she doesn't seem the type to be besotted by someone because of their fame. in fact, an enemies to lovers hinny would almost make more sense to me. they're both incredibly stubborn, it's a wonder they don't butt heads more during canon events, with the fact in mind that ginny is quite soft spoken around him. she's very do-no-harm-take-no-shit, and I wish we saw more of that in their interactions. in my head, their pipeline is as follows: younger sister figure -> academic rival/enemy -> allies during the order era -> confidants -> lovers. if this makes sense. I know it's similar to the canon pipeline for them but please I need tension I need depth I need conflict

I also have got to talk about cho because first of all, what the fuck kind of name is "cho chang" for the only visibly asian character in a franchise? said it once and I'll say it again: fuck jkr. she didn't put thought or depth into this character even one bit other than making her ditsy and boy-obsessed and I hate that shit! with all my heart! in fact, all of the POC women in this series she writes specifically to be obsessed with harry, and that makes my blood absolutely evaporate because they could be so much more than one dimensional figures. I digress

as I see it, "cho chang" isn't her real name at all. it's chao-xing zhang, and the first name means morning star. she hails from a family where her father is chinese and her mother is irish. if I had to give her a middle name, it would be siobhan. she grows up with strong roots in both her irish and chinese heritage, and she's the pride of her family, since she's the only child her parents are able to have. when she arrives at hogwarts, she is quite shy and reserved. but she's brilliant, so of course she's in ravenclaw. but it's in an atypical sense that she is brilliant, not in the I-come-fom-an-asian-family-so-I'm-clever kind of way (I think giving her the gift of clairvoyance would add a really good layer to her arc). she tries to fight off visions of harry potter dying, but she cannot shake them, so instead she vows to fight with him, especially after voldemort kills the first person to show her love and affection for who she is, not for the "cho chang" that her peers think she is. it's only natural for her to take a shine to harry when he's the one who saw cedric diggory murdered

while we're on the topic of horseshit naming, parvati and padma aren't called parvati and padma in my personal mindscape of the potter-verse. they're instead named drisana and salena, meaning "daughter of the sun" and "moon" respectively. not only are they fraternal twins, they also have entirely separate personalities and magical gifts. they're as different as the sun and moon are different, but they also both reflect each other's gifts quite well, just like how the full moon is an expression of both itself and the light of the sun. of course they're both enamored by the boy who lived and his best mate, and of course they say yes to them when they need dates for the yule ball. but to say either of them are actually in love with or interested in either of the boys isn't true by a long shot - salena much prefers her own company and drisana has been eyeing the pretty ravenclaw, chao-xing, for as long as she can remember (I also think they would take harry under their wing and help him reconnect with his desi culture because I can't imagine being raised by the dursleys gave him too much opportunity for that tbh)

now onto more world-buildy types of things

in fact, I'd say the only stereotypical twins at hogwarts are fred and george, and even then they only play into it for the bit. they think it's wildly funny to confuse anyone who doesn't know them well enough to tell them apart, which is a very small number of people (I mean come on, even their own mother doesn't always manage to tell them apart). one of them is probably just a little bit fruity, and the other one is either none the wiser or not the least bit surprised. they pretend like they're carefree people, but they both feel the pull of the war on their morale, even before the war truly sets in motion with the death of dumbledore. they don't have any older sibling figures present as far as we read until bill becomes part of the plot, but I like to think he and charlie are the ones they go to when they're needing someone to talk to about the state of the world. even then, they have to be careful about it in their correspondences.

and while I like to think that molly and arthur are all very present in the lives of their children, I also believe that arthur's work in the ministry keeps him quite busy, and molly can't always be there for each individual child without totally burning herself out. long story short, the weasleys are there for one another as much as they can be, but mainly as a whole. and of course, every weasley brother would level london for ginny if the need arose for it, since she gets little sister treatment (as she should, we love her for it)

it is in my humble opinion that each house has some elemental magic attached to it. some of these are more obvious, for instance, gryffindor would likely have many ties to fire magic, whereas with hufflepuff's patron being the badger, they'd have many ties to earth magic. ravenclaw and slytherin were a little bit harder for me to parse out, but a raven for me would signify air/weather magic while a reptilian, cold blooded patron would be symbolic to water. and while of course, any magical student can have a proclivity for any element of the four, many gryffindors will have a higher aptitude for fire magic. it's why (in my opinion) seamus finnegan is so talented with pyrotechnics in the first place - it's no accident that gryffindor is where he was sorted with that level of fire magic

so then, liv, how does that explain dumbledore's weird water orb and voldemort's fire serpent featured in the order of the phoenix film? actually that's a quite easy answer - remember how I said not every gryffindor has fire magic tendencies? this is actually referenced with neville longbottom's talent for herbology. if anything, he's more inclined to work with earth magic. we don't see a lot of deviating from house elements at all in canon, but aside from the main main characters, jkr also doesn't divulge much on it to begin with. even then, neville still has the inner fire of a gryffindor. and even though voldemort's raw magic takes the form of a serpent on fire, we see his former self most comfortable with the basilisk, who lives in the dank underbelly of the hogwarts plumbing. water snakes, anybody? dumbledore's is a little trickier to explain, but I do think in his conquest to be more powerful than voldemort, he also ended up mastering all four elements. he does certainly favor fire though, considering his animal companion is a phoenix, and his raw magic is displayed with fire in the half blood prince film during the sea cave scene

beyond the elements and patrons of each house, there's also astrology, runes, divination, etc. basically magic that isn't necessarily assigned to an element, but the elements can be present in each practice. for instance, astrology is a very planetary practice, and it relies on the position of the earth itself in relation to the stars and other celestial bodies (or vice versa). the moon oversees the tides (water), the sun provides warmth (fire) as well as nurtures greenery and living things (earth). all three interacting in different manners affects the weather (air). runes can be written or carved anywhere, but are best written either with something fluid like water and inked, or etched into a solid surface such as wood or stone. divination, particularly scrying, is best done with a reflective surface, however tea reading involves some herbology when it comes to making the tea itself. I digress, the point is, different aptitudes mean some students will have a higher proclivity for one practice than another outside of their "inner element" or which element works best with them (also jkr why didn't you include something for the crystal girlies?? for the fellas who love the pretty rocks???)

onto the topic we all love (said sarcastically) the most: wizard racism. rowling really thought she could paint a complex narrative about blood purity and the differences thereof when her own writing is inherently racist? miss me with that horseshit, anyway here's my personal take on the whole blood purity smorgasbord:

the only difference between muggleborns and regular old muggles is that some have the aptitude and skill for harnessing magic, and some don't. I don't actually know the science behind it. maybe the stars aligned just right. maybe it's a distant genetic thing. regardless, muggles have a very whimsical view of magic itself. we have our holidays like christmas and halloween and easter, and our cutesy packagings of the aesthetic for each holiday. but the holidays that they originate from, such as yule and samhain, have been celebrated by pagans and witches long before this christ-ifying of them, and even longer before making them palatable to a consumer culture. meaning it is real culture that has been taken and warped and accepted by society as normal, when it doesn't credit the original practicers in the first place

and considering the salem witch trials and other witch hunts (some of which are still happening in places around the globe, mind you), it's no wonder that, taking the canon of harry potter into consideration, purebloods (in this case, those from pagan families who have kept the practices for hundreds of generations and have only married within magical bloodlines) are at least mistrusting of muggleborns. does it excuse the blatant mistreatment and alienation of muggleborn witches and wizards? absolutely not. does it at least explain the disparity? yes it does

it gives salazar slytherins perspective of only allowing purebloods into his house an entirely new layer as to why. if only he didn't go about hatching an ancient bloodthirsty beast to hunt down the muggleborn students!

it does also add a very archaic level to slytherin house culture, though - they're not only the most cunning house (and most misunderstood), they're also the most observant of traditional paganism. dumbledore is so dead set on the belief that slytherin breeds evil wizards and witches, however, that his favoritism to his patron house (which happens to have the opposite mascot and element, mind you) creates an environment where slytherins are either feared or outright disrespected by the other houses. here's a hot take: dark and light magic can exist within the same space and still not have any moral attachment to them. crazy, innit

which means that not only is dumbledore a more "accepting" headmaster of muggleborns - they too, are a means to an end in this vendetta he has against tom riddle; a vendetta he's had against a child since he realized this child (who mind you, was already isolated as an orphan and a wizard growing up surrounded by muggles) was the heir of slytherin. and while yes, this made him a threat to the safety of muggleborn students, dumbledore also ensured the creation of the thing that which he vowed to overthrow. his mission in life as a wizard with great power and responsibility was a self fulfilling prophecy

(enough said about albus dumbledore. I hate that man. no wonder jkr paints him as such a hero figure in the series though like damn)

more world building! I think it should be canon that a modified obliviate spell exists so that trans witches and wizards can erase the memory of a dead name from the minds of anyone who isn't them. use this headcanon how you must, it may be the biggest fuck you to the author I could come up with <3

phew! that was a mouthful, but on that note, those are all my thoughts/headcanons/other things that I've conjured so far. some of them may be based off of headcanons I've already seen (like, we've all basically confirmed james is desi at this point), but I did wanna drive a little deeper into those existing ones as well as add thoughts of my own. I am planning on using most if not all of these to write my own rendition of the potter-verse canon, but feel free to use any of them you see in here! I'd love to invite more dialogue, particularly about more thoughtful name changes (like seriously if y'all have anymore suggestions on that front please send them to me, I don't want to be totally ignorant or off base so any feedback is super appreciated)

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 24

chapter 41: (over halfway through!)

1. 😐 um, i’m actually giving a death glare right now. wdym marlene has to go back to that arena????

2. okay, fuck that bitch dumbledore. he’s worse than coin. i hope he rots

3. i- all these victors going in are sirius’ friends. or his absolute worst enemies to begin with. OR his own fucking family! and his brother! and there’s a MARRIED COUPLE going in having to fight each other. i- this is the most devastating thing i will ever read

4. “James holds his gaze and hopes with everything in him that Regulus sees the truth in James' eyes when he coldly announces, "I hate him."” 😧

5. it hurts that sirius has ALWAYS tried to protect regulus. like, tried burying him like dogs bones once 😭😭

6. oh. oh shit. remus doesn’t know that sirius is a tribute yet

7. 😐 sobbing actually. wolfstar wasn’t supposed to go through this much pain. yet here we are. my babies being hurt.

chapter 42:

1. i like how once again, it’s pointed out that in this fic and canon, dumbledore has never seemed to care about the individual people if it meant winning a war

2. 👁️👄👁️ wide eyes. what is alberforth about to ask albus to do

3. the ring dorcas is handing marlene is eerily similar to the canon 75th hunger games with the token finnick is given

4. “A war could break out right on the other side of the door, and Dorcas would let it wage on to stay right here, just like this, with Marlene.” GAYYYYYYYYYY

5. “Without any fuss, she starts frantically plucking the rings off of one hand, each clink of them hitting the counter making Marlene groan” 😳😳😳 oh my god i am so gay holy shit

6. god i’m so angry. marlene got help with her drinking, then the night the quarterly memorial was announced, she’s right back at it. i’m not angry at marlene btw. i’m pissed at dumbledore and riddle

7. “"You'll be the last thought I have, you know," Marlene whispers. "Before I die, it'll be you. I just know it."” 😟

8. THE ORDER IS GETTING EFFIE AND MONTY POTTER OUT OF DISTRICT SIX!! FUCK YEAH

9. god i love lily in this fic. she is wonderful, beautiful, kind, caring, and most of all: human. she has faults. she won’t get close to people because last time she did, she lost remus. she smokes. she breaks the rules. she doesn’t always make the perfect move. she makes the human move. i love her so much

10. alberforth >>>>>>>>>> albus

11. god. lily just killed a person. this too is going to haunt her forever

12. 👀 marylily i smell?

13. 😭😭 mary is sprinting in heels

14. god i love that effie is willing to fight everyone for the people (district) she loves

15. CHEERS! barty just shot his father point blank in the chest

16. 😧 i- they just released the disease into the air. i-

17. if ted, tonks, and andy don’t make it out i’m gonna lose my mind

18. 😐 ted’s dead.

[sugarsnappeases]

Black brothers incest ?

let's get into it gang. i like them most when its a mostly unrequited reg pining after sirius thing. it's sirius yk. obviously reg has a crush on him, and obvs its an incredibly complicated messy crush where he wants to be him and to be protected by him and to kill him and to just have him near always, and obvs at the end of the day he achieves exactly none of those things lol. it also importantly ties in to the whole heir and spare and reg having to step into sirius' role thing.

jen and i have talked a little about this before (obviously) and i think we decided that sirius would maybe do things like teaching reg how to kiss and give head or to wank etc etc but it would mean a lot less to him than it would to reg. like reg thinks its a Thing, that sirius actually wants him and is in love with him bc of some of the things they've done growing up but for sirius it's just like. it doesn't mean that at all. like it's just brotherly lmao. or like. he doesn't quite understand where to draw that line in a brotherly relationship growing up but for him it's never been more than just like. trying to help reg and make him happy and maybe things getting all tangled up during those long summers at grimmauld together. i think they'd both grow up not really knowing what the issue w incest might be, like their parents are fucking cousins, they're no strangers to incest, but w sirius he grows out of it kinda and learns how fucked up it is and gets an array of normal, much healthier relationships.

reg on the other hand never really gets that. and it all gets twisted up in resentment and hatred and yearning and the like. esp if we consider this in conjunction to barty. which jen and i have discussed frequently and which drives me fucking insane. so. take barty, devotional man of all time, he's giving himself up in his entirety to reg, he just wants to give reg everything he wants and he knows that reg misses his brother more than anything. barty doesn't entirely understand familial relationships after his fucked up ones and he defo doesn't understand siblings at all and he's fucking reg and trying to give him what he wants and he's offering 'you can pretend that i'm sirius if you want' !!!!!!! <- makes me insane!!!!!!!!!!

now, we were discussing this before we had the blackcest chats so initially for us reg was like. horrified by this suggestion, completely appalled, and even now perhaps he'd still be appalled, bc really how could barty presume to fill sirius' shoes or try to insert himself into the relationship between the black brothers, even if sirius is entirely absent at that point and they almost certainly never had actual sex like that. there'd also be a whole That was Private thing, and reg wouldn't want anyone really to be a part of it. but maybe there's also a sense of desperate desperate longing and maybe if barty asked enough he would give in and shut his eyes and imagine it, in a kind of horrible self-hating miserable agony thing.

we also spoke about a horrible barty/sirius one night stand where they're both super duper drunk and maybe barty offers the same thing to sirius, bc he thinks that's just how brothers work (oh btw this is in the context of the rosier twins and like pre-bartyrosiers asw) and sirius just brushes it off as a fucked-up joke and doesn't even really think twice about it, like he would never even think about actually fucking reg. for him it was more of just a messy naive clumsy product of his upbringing that he's very ashamed about for years afterwards and actively tries to never think about again.

anyway, moral of the story, i don't like Properly ship them, but i think there's something to be said for them. i think all sibling relationships can be made incestuous if you think about it hard enough (joking! but......) and i think that incest between the black brothers could do compelling things to the arc that they already have w sirius leaving

[littlestkoi-n]

a much too whiny rant about fic icks

I die a little every time pup, cub or Prongslet comes up in a wolfstar raising Harry (together or separately) fic. especially cub - it makes literally no sense????? are you sure it's Remus John Lupin I'm reading about??? it's his evil doppelganger, I'm telling you. I'm not even sure I could stomach that word ironically.

Prongslet is fine in moderation, I guess, but only as an inside joke, only coming from Sirius and only when Harry's a smol bean. but when it's Prisoner of Azkaban compliant I wanna claw my eyes out.

it's even worse when those terms are used not just in dialogue but in Remus or Sirius' internal monologue as if pup and cub are Harry's freaking pronouns or something. my cub, my pup, cub did this, pup did that... just call him boy or kid or his name for god's sake. I once saw sprog pop up and was delighted cuz at least it's actually british slang.

and don't get me started on Hadrian(us) James Orion Potter-Black (which is just... why the fuck would James give his son the name of his best mate's horrible father AND the last name of his horrible family?? and why would Lily agree to that?) who's simultaneously Lord Potter, Black, Peverell and Slytherin (and, sure, I have a visceral reaction to aristocracy wank in general but even ignoring that - the last 3 literally make no sense since "Lord Black" is Sirius until his death; and both Peverell and Slytherin lines bled into other families ages ago. so being a Potter automatically means you're descended from Peverells as well as being a Gaunt - from Slytherin. and the last of those is Tom Riddle Jr. but that wouldn't make any Potters "Lord Peverell"s or any Gaunts/Riddle "Lord Slytherin"s. those last names are dead. smh).

but, uh, this tangent technically has nothing to do with my initial complaints, it's just that at some point I started thinking of this naming stuff in tandem with nonsensical nicknames as they began appearing in fics together. which is a double homicide, truly.

and look, I definitely understand the desire to make Harry's original name something else cuz it fits nicely with POC Potters headcanon and Dursleys being racist dicks about it, but... Hadrian? I mean, it's not really a big deal when the fic mentions it being his full name but both narration and characters still refer to him as Harry for short - that makes total sense. however when after the name reveal Hadrian replaces Harry completely, it feels super weird and uncanny, making it hard to identify Harry's character in the story altogether.

although I guess you should all knock me off my high horse for being the biggest hypocrite ever, cuz I myself have a headcanon for Harry's name, even if it's less elaborate than Hadrian. also less Roman? that's another thing I don't get - if you want to create a better connection between Harry and his roots, why choose a name of a Roman emperor for a desi kid? since he's usually explicitly desi in all the Hadrian fics. so it's not that I have a problem with renaming him, per se, I just don't understand the choice of Hadrian.

for example, I recently read a fic where he was Pakistani and his name was originally Hami, which is a nice idea, actually, and makes sense for such headcanon. mine is Hari btw (हरि in Sanskrit), since I headcanon Potters as Indian, but I didn't come up with that name myself - just saw it somewhere a couple years ago and liked it. I think it's actually a pretty popular hc now? anyway, it's closer to Harry than any other name I've seen and has many beautiful meanings that resonate with what I think James and Lily felt towards their son. now, even though I still prefer his name being Harry regardless of ethnicity, I do entertain this silly headcanon from time to time - so yeah, I'm one to talk, boo me.

now, I probably should shut up since this rant has been entirely too negative already, but while I'm on the topic of icky names/nicknames I should circle back to wolfstar cuz gods know I'll never be brave enough to talk about this particular pet peeve in its own post.

Siri, Remu and Remy make my blood boil. Siri could be kinda cute when it's a silly childhood nickname from Regulus, but if any marauder or Lily calls Sirius that - immediate death. Si and Re are a teensy bit better in moderation and if used ironically, but still stab me in the chest. a couple times for good measure. the only somewhat acceptable short form of any of their two names for me is Rem, albeit with a stretch and only because it's an actual version of the name Remus in Catalan and Russian. I know I'm being way too dramatic about this (just like with all of my previous points) but I just don't understand the need to shorten their names. at all. they're only 3 and 2 syllables long and so mystical on their own that any shortening just makes them simultaneously more nonsensical and less remarkable.

both characters literally have established quirky nicknames in canon that you can play with and even shorten to Pads and Moons if you want. Sirius is not a digital assistant and Remus is not the main character from Ratatouille. stop this madness.

plus James is right there. his name has a ridiculous amount of diminutives - Jamie, Jimmy, Jim, Jam, Jem, Jay and even Jimbo if you're into that. why strip Remus and Sirius' magical names of their charm if you can have fun with common names? but I digress.

at the end of the day, my pet peeves are mine only and I should live with them in fragile peace. this post is a personal rant first and foremost and if you disagree, I'm genuinely happy that you enjoy the things I can't. fandom is a playground and we can all find some fun in different corners. I'd also like to point out that I'm not trying to take a jab at fic writers who use any of the aforementioned terms, names or diminutives. I'm only one person, so if I stop reading your work because of my petty biases, it's only my loss and not your problem. hundreds of other fans will enjoy it instead. so keep doing what you love and writing those characters however you want, it's your right!

so yeah, writers and readers - don't take it personally and have your fun! don't listen to me being mean! I'm just making my fandom experience way too convoluted for my own good.

[faithless-lovers]

Alright, hear me out here - The difference between Sirius and Remus is the difference between how Mental health and Physical health is treated.

Remus has an ailment that's visible, it takes a toll on him every month, it leaves phsycial scars on his body, it's not just actively discriminated against but places several obstacles to inclusion in regular life. Be it holding down a full time job or creating spaces to accommodate his issues, it singles him out. It creates barriers. It’s something he has to live with daily.

Sirius however is plagued by mental health issues. There are plenty we can attribute to him - trauma and PTSD being the most obvious ones. Depression, shades of ADHD and eating disorders are also things that can be included but let's focus on trauma for now. He grew up in an abusive home (verbal or physical doesn't matter) and things were terrible enough for him to run away.

I also think it's fair to assume that Sirius was on the high functioning end of things - and by that I mean he didn't freeze or shut down or make himself smaller as a result of the abuse, he fought/lashed out/caused trouble - but ultimately Sirius retained a mask of being alright. He aced tests. He was popular. He remained rich.

So at first glance, he's alright. Remus is not.

But Remus’s issues are easier to support - to support not live with mind you. I am NOT dismissing the difficulty of a physical disability or it's impact on a person's quality of life.

I'm only saying, Sirius’s issues are easier to overlook. If he's stubborn enough to not address them, or to deflect attention from it, he can. It doesn't mean the issues are less severe, it means they can be missed.

That's always the difference between a mental health struggle vs the struggle with a physical one. If you find one easier to sympathize with, maybe it's because that's how society has conditioned us to think.

So especially the wolfstar shippers who do the poor Remus, Sirius never deserved him idea? Please shove it. The poor little Regulus, Sirius owed him better thing? Stop. Just because he didn't nosedive into a lake/kill himself doesn't mean he had it easier. If anything the fact that Regulus's mental health was also in shambles is proof of how terrible their childhood was. Also, one isn't meant to protect another just because he was slightly older, when the whole point is that they were both kids who reacted to trauma differently. How does this Fandom forgive Peter faster than Sirius - who BTW didn't commit any actual crimes. Smh.

Yes, I woke up feeling bitter today alright?

[timdrakemybeloved]

Snape makes me so fucking mad holy fuck, I’m incapable of thinking of him positively. I don’t even like Draco and I think of him 10x more positively than I think of Snape.

What kind of person gets bullied as a child and then grows up and bullies the child of his bully like that makes him way worse than James (btw I love James and I fully believe he matured and grew up and is a good person who deserved more than for Snape to tell a literal Nazi terrorist to kill him and his infant son but to leave his wife alive). Snape had way more power over the kids he taught than James did over him and what did he do with it?

He made fun of their appearance and scared them to the point that he was Neville’s boggart (which when you think about it is so awful because 1, Neville’s parents got tortured into insanity and I’m pretty sure he was there, and his boggart probably should have been Bellatrix or his uncle even, and 2, he did it because Neville was the other possible prophecy child and Snape was upset that Voldie didn’t pick him to kill when HE GAVE HIM THE PROPHECY IN THE FIRST PLACE).

He said shitty things about Harry’s dead parents and orphan-hood, was glaring at Harry literally right off the bat so don’t say it was because he got into trouble a lot, asked him questions he couldn’t possibly know, told Draco to summon a serpent during duelling club??? How irresponsible is that???

Literally lied to the minister just to get Sirius killed, which atp is ridiculous (I think Sirius was dumb as fuck, careless, possibly malicious, to tell snape where to go to find moony, but snape literally already suspected that Remus was a werewolf so idk what the fuck he thought was gonna happen if he found him during the full moon, and calling it a murder attempt is a stretch), like grow up please this man was in Azkaban for 12 years which is a hugely disproportionate punishment for anything he did do to you, and the reason he was there in the first place was literally fraudulent, which he knew and he lied anyway.

And honestly the Legilimancy lessons were fucking joke, who looks through an abused kids memories and makes fun of both the abuse and the few good memories he has?? And then he’s surprised that Harry tried to equal the playing field between them?? Snape had way more power than Harry did, and obviously it wasn’t the best thing to do to a person but yk what I’m not going to judge Harry’s actions, Snape was abusive and the victim isn’t to blame for their reactions to their abuser.

And he threw Harry across the room for seeing his memories?? Abuse. To be honest even seeing the memory about James being a bully felt like JKR trying to make shit up as fast as possible to make Snape seem more redeemable, which apparently worked for some people who think abusing kids is okay as long as you have a tragic backstory and an abusive parent. And it actually makes me really mad that he thought Harry was treated like a prince so decided to treat him like shit so he wouldn’t get any ideas about having self esteem or confidence, then found out that he was abused and then just did nothing and tbh treated him worse. And the lessons themselves were actually painful to Harry?? They definitely made his mind more vulnerable, he had more nightmares.

And let’s not forget that he joined a Nazi group that wanted to exterminate people like his best friend, called his best friend a slur, viewed Lily as an exception to the other muggleborns, and invented sectumsempura for his enemies IN SCHOOL which means the Maurauders.

And it makes me sick that he looked in a room with a crying baby whose parents just got murdered, his mom right in front of him, and a dead woman who was killed by his Nazi leader like directly because of his actions, and then he ignored the baby and went to hug the woman’s dead body. Like if I was Lily, I wouldn’t want him near either my body or my child, but if he was my only option, then he better be fucking taking care of my living son. Like she rejected him his weird obsession for her freaks me tf out.

And I get that without Snape asking for Lily to be spared, Voldemort wouldn’t have asked Lily to stand aside and the blood protection wouldn’t have been activated, but literally once good thing happening because of a tragedy he caused doesn’t make him a good person.

Anyway. Think I got it out of my system for now. Fuck Snape. :)

Edit: Just to be clear, I actually find his character really compelling, even though I dislike him and his actions. And of course I’m not saying no one can like Snape.

[starrylayle]

I am in desperate need of some long-form, magical canon-ish marauders fic recs y’all — I can’t keep rereading atyd lmao. The issue is is there are plenty of fics like this nowadays, but they all have jegulus in them and I’m sorry but I just don’t like that ship 😭. I read ‘choices’, ‘just lovers’ and ‘only the brave’,, and as well written as they were that’s enough jegulus to last a lifetime lol. I know there’s a lot of wolfstar long form fics but idk some of them are a little bit fetish-isy (cough cough casting moonshadows) and a lot of older ones aren’t really up to my taste (e.g. the shoebox project, the lost generation). I also feel like a lot of fics don’t really delve deep into themes of queerness, disability, race, class, etc. (Which is totally fine btw!!! I just personally prefer when they do). And as much as I love jily I don’t like ships centred on them because i only like str8 couples as side pairings in my fics lol. Also for some reason everyone’s white in those long jily fics 😭

The last two long-ish fics I read that I enjoyed that basically hit all my requirements (besides atyd lol) were ‘The Hand that Feeds’ (dorlene my loves <33) and ‘As the Worm Moon Dies’ (both by Rollercoasterwords I’m actually they’re biggest fan fr). They’re so well written, explore deeper themes and flesh out characterisation,,, and ATWMD makes my world building heart so happy coz it addresses all the issues I had with the magic system and life style in the og series and takes a much more critical/interesting approach. Actually side tangent to say that everyone should read ATWMD — it’s a wolfstar au where voldy won and sirius is a death eater and remus is in an illegal werewolf-fighting ring and it’s literally SO GOOD!!

I’ve also read ‘That’s the art of getting by’ (I forgot who it was by) and I enjoyed it coz I love my magical fix it fics too. I’ve heard, ‘It never gets out’, ‘the penigwens marauders series’ and ‘the last enemy: the howling nights’ are interesting portrayals of world and characters so I’m wondering if anyone would recommend them?

Also I’m open to a fic being centred around any characters/themes as long as it has some gay stuff somewhere lol. Like an exploration of peter’s character as he slowly succumbs to ‘the dark side’? Yes please!! The Black sisters family dynamic? Yummy. lady zabini and bellatrix having lesbian murder sex as they kill their husbands? fuckk yeah. Anyways point is i just want a long form marauders fic to obsess over and would love some recs!!

[arviyya]

Once I fucked my 4 years long crush in a pond. The pond was right next to a road and between houses. Oh we were drunk btw. When it was over I ordered Uber and got into it completely wet (from the pond lol) and smashed eyeliner. I threw up in the Uber 😂

(We are still friends and never had sex again, I'm over that crush)

Oh, I love this so much. This is so on brand for Jegulus, they would do something like this, or rosekiller. Probably more rosekiller but there's something about the image of wet Regulus sitting in the back of an uber, laughing from exhileration, puking from the (presumed) alcohol, eyeliner all smudged, that really is rotting my brain so....

tws: NSFW, vomit, alcohol use

--

"You're brother is going to hate me if he finds out?" James says as his tongue flicks the Regulus' bottom lip.

"Then let him," Regulus whispers, chasing the kiss with earnest.

Their lips meet again, and despite himself, Regulus' heart beats right out of his chest.

How the fuck did he even get here in this pond? His hair wet, their bodies pressed together against the edge of the dock, clothes soaking against their skin.

+

The night was not supposed to turn out this way. In fact, if you had asked Regulus yesterday he would have said there's no way in fucking hell he would even be at his brother's party, but alas, here he is.

How he got there doesn't matter, all it took was one text invite from his brother and he simply couldn't help himself. He has always been weak when it comes to Sirius. And as much as he hates to admit it, he was happy to receive the invite. Happy to see him again.

In recent years, they've exchanged some texts and phone calls in an attempt to reconcile their relationship. Regulus actually had little intention of actually seeing him, but again, here he is.

Within ten minutes of being there, he and Sirius were already having the much needed heart to heart, exchanging hugs as they exchange apologies. It made the rest of the party much easier to endure, now that the lingering tension was swept out of the way. In fact, it wasn't long before he was actually having a rare amount of fun.

One thing Regulus had not counted on when arriving at the party was James being there. It doesn't take long for their paths to cross. They always had some points of contention, and as soon as Regulus noticed he was there he hoped he wouldn't have to see him. Too late. Their conversation started out friendly, but it didn't take long before every bit of tension Regulus used to feel towards him was rising to the surface. He can't help it. He already wanted to tangle his hands in his messy hair, bite his bottom lip, rip his pants right off.

Regulus doesn't know what else was supposed to happen when James started flirting with him, whispering in his ear, lingering touches on his arms. He was down bad again before he could even check the time and see that it had only been forty-five minutes since he arrived. Their interactions were mostly banter, friendly teasing about random things that came to mind as they asked the more general questions like where he was from, what schools they went to, and what they're majoring in.

By the hour and a half mark, Regulus' mind was static, body vibrating, the need to touch James taking over every bit of his senses.

It was at the three hour mark that people started making jokes about going into the pond. No one else seemed keen on taking on the dare, and at first, Regulus didn't think James was either, but he suddenly leaned in, pressing his lips to Regulus' ear while Sirius was turned away, "If I dared you to go in, would you?"

"That depends."

"On?"

Regulus eyed him up and down, his arms crossed. "Whether you'd come with me."

"Deal." James looped their hands together, hidden by the darkness of the room, the flashing lights adding extra cover as they slipped away from the crowd and out the back door.

There were a few people standing outside, cigarettes dangling from their hands. "Remus," James said as he passed a man with a scarred face. His brows rose, and he smirked as he watched them pass, taking another drag of his cigarette.

They made their way down to the pond, and Regulus followed him to the edge of the dock.

"So, are we actually getting in?" Regulus asked, placing a hand threateningly on James' chest as if he might push him in.

"That depends."

"Oh?" Regulus held back a chuckle at his cheek mimicry.

"Are you coming with me?"

Regulus nodded. He could hardly believe it. That he was flirting like this with James Potter, that James Potter was flirting back.

He always had a crush on James. All the way back in school. It was always James. So forgive him for being unable to control himself at all in this situation.

Regulus decided in that moment to push, and James grabbed him to pull him with. It was when they were under the water that James pulled him close, giving him a chance to pull away before their lips met.

Kissing, they came out of the water, Regulus' heart pushing his alcohol infused blood to every inch of his body. He felt dizzy from it, and he also felt dizzy from James.

And that's how he got here, James' lips against his, mind static.

"You're brother is going to hate me if he finds out?" James says as his tongue flicks the Regulus' bottom lip.

"Then let him," Regulus whispers, chasing the kiss with earnest.

Their lips meet again, and despite himself, Regulus' heart beats right out of his chest.

Together, they push the boundaries of their bodies right there in the pond, Regulus' legs wrapped around James' hips. James pulls their cocks out without hesitation, rubbing them together with his hand, Regulus seeking friction as he moves against him. Moans slip from Regulus' lips, no thought in his mind beyond the pleasure he seeks. James catches him in a desperate kiss, as he moves against Regulus, pressing him harder against the dock. Pleasure sweeps through Regulus' body, waves coming quicker as they both edge towards the edge - and when they get there they topple over, right there in the pond water.

A sense of sober thought hits Regulus like a train as they breathe through the after shocks. Fuck.

He just fucked his brother's best friend in the pond behind his house. What the fuck was he thinking.

For a moment, he lets himself enjoy the way James' hot breath feels on his neck, the comfort of his presence, before pulling away.

"Where are you going, Reg?" James asks, following him onto the dock. Regulus grabs his phone where he set it down and walks backwards.

"Home. I gotta get home," he says breathlessly.

"Why? What?" James scratches his soaking wet hair. "Fuck - I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to, I just - fuck, I didn't mean to upset you, shite -"

"No! No, James, it's fine. I did want to. I just-" Regulus bites his bottom lip. "I just have to go. I'll - I'll call you."

"Don't lie to me, Reg."

"I'm not lying." Regulus halts, giving James the chance to approach. He hands him his phone, and James gazes at him for a moment before adding his number. "I really will call."

"If you say so." James looks at him with narrowed eyes, and their gazes linger before Regulus flees, practically running up to the dirt road that borders the pond.

As soon as he can't see the house or the pond anymore, he calls an uber. It isn't long before it shows up, and it's in the back, soaking wet still, eyeliner smudged across his face, that it hits him all at once what he just did. What it means. And what the hell he's supposed to do about it.

Unfortunately, he doesn't make it home before he vomits, whether from the nerves, or alcohol, he isn't sure.

Home is warm, dry, and safe. Emotionally he feels at ease in a way he hadn't felt since arriving at his brohter's.

He does call Sirius to apologize for leaving.

What he never does, is call James.

However, it would not be the last time they fuck. Obviously, being in his brother's life again means being in James', and they simply can't keep their hands off each other.