#bro was literally being haunted by a demon for weeks???

[rynnthefangirl]

Fandom: omg Ford was so selfish to invite Stan to Gravity Falls just to take the journal and go far away. He only cares about himself and doesn’t care about Stan at all.

Literally Ford’s mental state in that scene:

[colourstreakgryffin]

Sorry if this is spoiler-ish!! ;-; But can I request a scenario where the reader, who’s married to Alastor, is having a nightmare where she loses Alastor? This can be after the battle where she almost witnessed Alastor get killed and it haunts her still. Of course with some comfort from the Radio Demon himself at the end :’3

Not spoilerish! I’ve watched the Adam V Alastor fight in full detail and I ABSOLUTELY LOVVEEE this idea! You’re a legit genius, my dear! Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day! First we had big bro Al, then Dad Al, then BF Al, then best friend Al and now, we have best one: husband Al!

Alastor- Staying Here

It’s been happening nonstop for days… days. Weeks. You can’t sleep like this. Every night, the same nightmare but formatted differently like being tortured over and over again but with a different method. It’s almost like that awful angel has re-manifested and is getting back revenge on Alastor by submitting you to night terrors that have been destroying your sleep schedule

Waking up with a nasty shrill of fear and a cold layer of sweat, your body flung upwards with your eyes shooting open after such a terrible dream, tears welling up in them… your beloved husband, Alastor, slept right next to you with his tall deer-like ears twitching. Knowing that he’s still here and not erased by the head exterminator, Adam is such a relief. Especially since that same Angel, Adam himself, is the reason you’ve been having daily nightmares about a violent and gorey erasure scenario of Alastor with Adam. Adam laughing manically, killing off your husband in the most bloody and ruthless way, wounds all over his body, the radio effects dying out…

It’s awful. You can barely sleep and it’s making you deprived of just a single good night

Sobbing under your breath, right next to your seven year husband. Alastor’s ears twitch once more but this time, as a sign to wake up as well for his peacefully unconscious brain. Yawning and stretching out with a long drawn-out radio glitch in literally no time, his broad body sitting up with you leant over and sobbing into your hands. His crimson eyes looked over to you after a bit longer of waking himself up and just like that, he went from wondering what happened to immediately concerned

“Darling… what’s wrong?”

Alastor asks soft and sweet, his radio voice overtone has completely disappeared so his own organic voice is the only thing remaining. He didn’t even get a chance to speak again since you immediately clung onto him and buried your face into his chest, sobbing and crying for him to never leave you. Alastor doesn’t know what’s wrong but he won’t just let his beloved wife suffer

You legit have to sob and hiccup through your words, telling him about every detail of your repetitive nightmares and Alastor’s body tenses up in pure disgust and malice, mainly towards the idea of being erased by Adam, the now long dead head exterminator. He wouldn’t let him put his hands on himself or you, he loves you way too much. Alastor rubs his hands through your hair, letting you cry into his chest until you finally get over it

You need to cry out your fear and feelings until you can be rational and logical to think. Get the emotions out first

Alastor silently waits for you to come back to him, gently pressing your body together with his, one hand on your back to trace through soft shapes and the other stroking gentle brushes through your hair until you can finally just melt in his embrace, calm down and feel safer with your still very alive husband. Yeah, he was quite close to being erased but he escaped and he has recovered from his injury

“My dear, my love. How long has this been going on?” The guilt to lying and not telling Alastor sooner is already eating your heart apart. You just felt too shy to even drop him a hint about your midnight distress since you always assumed he is already too busy with the Hazbin Hotel to be able to prioritise your minor problems. Your nightmare issue isn’t actually a minor problem at all, that’s what you think but Alastor can see, clear as crystal, that this constant nightmare over him thing is breaking your psyche

“S-since it happened…” Alastor’s eyes widen in shock. You’ve been dealing with nightmares on the daily for two weeks?! How did he not even notice?! God, he is so pissed off at himself and just keeps rocking you, gently laying you down and cuddling you, continuing to massaging rubs of your big menacing hands. The wedding band over his left ring finger rubs on the silky thin fabric of your pyjamas and he can feel the wedding band on your own left ring finger clinging onto him like your hands clinging on his waist

Alastor continues to speak, not remaining silent since it may end up making you believe you’re mad at him for staying silent. He isn’t as mad as his body may seem, he is just worried sick for your health and your mental health over these constant nightmares that are driving a wedge inbetween your sleep schedule. His lips drop down and kisses your forehead, keeping up the sweet, caring and loving tone

His husband tone

“Darling, dearest. I am not mad at you, just embrace me and recover. I’ll make those night terrors go away” Alastor continues to comfort you, soft, quiet and sweet. His soft peppery kisses all over your silky-skinned face, your rosy cheeks. Anything to make those streaming tears halt and your now red puffy demonic eyes. He loves you and he has been neglecting this very serious issue. It’s now his job, as your loyal longtime husband, to take care of you

How grateful you are that Alastor is always right next to you and the nightmares you deal with will never be reality. He’s safe, you’re safe and he is going to be holding your hand through your recovery process

“Would you like to go out and get some fresh air with me?”

[babyflossy]

ethereal | l.ty

pairing; demon!taeyong x reader

requested; yes! this was requested agessss ago haha,,, i hope you like it!!

summary; you’re not sure when your nighttime hallucinations started, but if they always appear in the form of lee taeyong, you’re not going to complain

genre/warnings; smut (fem receiving oral, sex, sex with a hallucination (?bro i literally don’t even know what to class this as?), overstim if you squint, kinda creepy maybe?), might class this as a kinda halloween esqe fic? sexy ethereal demon taeyong i guess

word count; 2.7k

when you wake in the middle of the night, hot air clinging to your body with a vice like grip, the only thing you feel is frustration. the window is still open from hours earlier when your ceiling fan proved futile as an attempt to combat the heat, a flimsy breeze floating through the room every now and then. a light layer of sweat shines off your skin and you feel weighed down with the grogginess of sleep and the jarring suddenness you had been pulled from your slumber.

in the corner of your room, safe from your vision due to the shadows, is a person. he stands straight backed against the edge of your wardrobe, wide eyes watching you intently as you pull the thin covers off your body, swinging your legs over the side of your bed to stand up. it’s been a while since he’s encountered a human as captivating as you, and the way the moonlight glistens off your skin pulls him in.

you rub your eyes with your hands and stretch your arms behind you as you realise sleep will not do you the favour of coming easy tonight. the cream silk of a nightdress hangs off your body and appears as if it’s floating in the dim light of the early morning. lee taeyong notices this and wishes for nothing more than to have the privilege to rid you of the item of clothing.

he should be used to this, the hunt before the reward, the chase that he always wins, but there’s something different about you. something that makes him want to take his time. you stand out in his mind against all the other humans he’s conquered, like a golden ticket inside his mind’s eye.

in this hour of the night, you are nothing short of the goddess he can only dream of. captivating, enamouring.

he wants you. and he will get you.

the third night you spend sleepless is when you start to loose it. the heat still wisps around you uncontrollably, impossible to catch relief from beside standing in the open door of your freezer. it follows you around and you start to question how you’re going to last the rest of summer if the heat doesn’t calm down.

it has you feeling on edge, useless. needy.

despite your efforts to ignore it, you can’t help but feel hot in a completely different way. the past few nights have been sleepless yes, but they haven’t been void of dreams that haunt you in the day. dreams where ethereal beings come and grant you your deepest wishes, your darkest desires. among all of them, there’s a reoccuring face that strikes so deep within you you almost feel empty at the thought he’s not real.

you’re not sure how you know his name, but lee taeyong is never far from the forefront of your mind.

a week passes of little sleep and even less freedom from your incessant lust-filled daydreams. you’re at the end of you tether and you’re convinced you’re hallucinating when the object of your grief stands before you.

the hour is just as late as when he first laid eyes on you, the night equally as static and humid. you want to scream, this strange man stood before your bed in the middle of the night, a predatory look upon his face, but you can’t seem to find a voice.

the white of his shirt shines like pearls against his skin, he is shimmering even without any light in the room. his hair is similar, a deep brown that still manages to appear illuminescent. his sharp features are paired with big eyes that stare down at you on your bed, frozen and unable to do anything other than stare up at him.

you can’t remember how long he’d been there. how did he get inside? why do you feel like he’s been there the entire time? the feel of the surroundings haven’t changed since he’s appeared and you come to the conclusion that he’s been there the entire time, invisible to the untrained eye and yet holding enough power to completely overtake a room. there’s the faintest quirk of a smile on his face as he peers down at you, like you’re a prized possession he can’t quite believe is real and right in front of him.

it’s off-putting, the way he stares at you with such needing intent and yet stands so unmovingly. he’s like a statue, you realise, a perfect replica of the most beautiful things the earth has to offer all in one place, one being. involuntarily, you feel a hand reach up to him, carefully, as if he’s a appartion from your imagination that will drift back into nothingness if you move too suddenly.

when his hand reaches down to meet yours, his skin is impossibly smooth, cool and yet soft. it feels like marble under the pads of your fingers as you drag one along the pad of his middle finger and into the palm of his hand, tracing the bluish veins that sit just under the surface of his wrist. there’s diamonds in his eyes as he stares at you, linking your fingers together and pulling the back of your hand up to his lips. unlike his hands, they are warm and your hand burns from the contact.

“angel, you’re so perfect.” the words are nothing more than a mere whisper on the wind that is now flowing through your bedroom, the temperature has dropped from impossibly hot to the perfect tepid warmth that sits against your skin nicely. his eyes trace your own, taking in the colour of your irises and the shine of them under him.

“who are you?” the voice doesn’t sound like your own but you fail to care, focus unable to stray from the stranger’s perfect face, your insides swirling when he quirks one side of his mouth up in a gentle smile.

“you already know, my dear.” there’s a wistful lilt to his voice and you jump slightly when the pad of his thumb brushes against the swell of your lower lip, eyes watching his movement carefully. you had never felt so safe and yet so on edge before.

“why are you here?”

“you ask too many questions.” it was less of a statement and more of a command to stop. it works immediately and you find your lips glued shut, unable to resist completely submitting yourself to this being before you. “there we go, isn’t that better?” he pokes with an easy smile at the silence that now settles between you. something about the praise is detrimental to your insides and a shiver of anticipation jolts through you.

for a moment, neither of you moves, there’s nothing but the perfect stillness of the night and the glowy cast that surrounds him to distract you. and then he starts leaning down closer to you, setting your hands that remain intertwined beside you on the bed and forcing you to move backwards until your feet leave the floor. slowly, like a lion approaching its prey, he crawls forward until your back is flush against the mattress and he is hovering on his free hand above you.

again, there is a second of painful silence where the world stops around you. in this moment, there is only you and this being who you somehow know as taeyong and the air between you, so full of expectation and the buzz of what’s to come.

and then he’s leaning down, slotting himself in the space where your legs naturally separate for him and pressing a first, soft, kiss to your lips. this is the moment where taeyong realises you are different from every other human he’s touched like this. your lips hold a warmth others can only imagine to possess, an addicting trace that leaves him breathless and suddenly uncertain of himself.

once his lips are separated from yours, you lean up to attach them once again. it fills you with such a new sense of want you can barely control your hands when they reach up to fist the fabric of his shirt, finding it almost impossibly soft against your skin, slipping through your fingers like sand.

when you touch him, taeyong mimics your action and lets himself lean into you so he can use his hands to toy with the thin straps of your nightdress. they skim around your neck and trail delicate twirls down your collarbones that have you shivering at the coldness. his hands continue on their pursuit downwards until they reach your breasts, kneading the soft flesh through the fabric. he swallows your moans when he rolls one of your nipples between his fingers, the other hand pulling the strap down to reveal more of your skin.

as soon as your skin is bared in front of him, he tears his lips away from yours and drags them down your neck to your breast. his fingers continue their assault of your other nipple when he takes one into his mouth, sucking slightly and loving the way you arch up into him. the feeling is overwhelming, the coldness of his hands compared to the heat from his mouth. it has you weak and helpless in his grip.

when he satisfied with the purple bruises adorning one breast, he lets your nipple go with a pop and moves to treat the other the same way, gentle but firm hands and the teasing graze of his teeth on your most sensitive areas.

you don’t notice his hand slipping between you until his hand toys with the waistband of you panties and you almost moan from that alone. it’s nearly too much for you as taeyong finally delves his fingers under the last layer of fabric separating you, every nerve in your body tuned into him and nothing else, your skin in flames and you mind wandering the plane between conscious and more than that. you are so hyper aware to the feeling of him on top of you, every place your bodies touch is engrained in your memory, a channel of the feelings you share.

he indulges you with an experimental swipe over you clit before choosing to rub painfully slow circles around the spot you want him most. you could cry with need, your emotions so uncontrollable due to your desire. it’s as if taeyong can tell you can’t take it as he moves exactly when you’re about to speak up, thumb setting a calm pace against your clit.

you sigh, body melting against his own as he plays your body like a perfectly tuned harp. his mouth stays latches to the sensitive skin of your breasts and the feelings are too intense. the coil in your stomach is tightening at an ever increasing rate and the moans you let out are sinful.

just as you’re about to tip over the edge into euphoria, taeyong stops the movement of his fingers, head moving away from your skin and leaving you cold and bare. you’re too lost in your craving for him to say anything, but he can feel your frustration in the way you tighten you hands in his shirt. just as he removes his hand from your panties, he scoops some of your wetness up with his fingers and holds it between you before sucking his fingers into your mouth, eyes nearly rolling back at the unbelievable sweetness.

in all his years, taeyong had never found someone so perfect.

instead of upsetting you further, taeyong pulls down your panties and pushed himself down the bed, settling himself happily between the soft skin of your thighs. he grips them in his hands and pulls them to either side of his head, leaving forward to lick up your folds teasingly slowly.

your head falls back at the feeling and you’re already lost to the pleasure. he makes quick work of you, mouth sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking it with his tongue whilst his fingers slip up into you. he strokes at your sweet spot, hitting the spot so relentlessly you can do nothing but lie with your mouth dangling open and breathless pleas leaving you. waves of pleasure rain down on you and this time, taeyong doesn’t stop when he feels you approaching your high, instead opting to quicken the pace of his tongue and curl his fingers inside of you.

you think you scream when you let go, but you can’t really tell beyond the overwhelming feeling of taeyong. everything around you is amplified as he works you through your high, hips stuttering up against him and legs quivering, shutting around his head.f

he give you a moment to recover before he’s crawling back up your body, a sinful smile on his face.

no words are exchanged as he gifts you another kiss, this one so different to the first few. it’s dirty and lewd and you can taste your essence on his tongue. you stay like that for an immeasurable length of time, drowning in the taste of each other. eventually, taeyong pulls away first and you feel a hardness pressing against your thigh. in preparation, he lets his cock glide between you folds to gather your wetness before lining himself up with your entrance. right before he pushes in to you he captures you in another kiss to distract you from the stretch.

it’s painful, but addicting. you wallow in the pits of your lust and realise you’ll probably never feel like this again, never feel such a staggering amount of emotion at once. you feel everything and nothing at all, like you’re in a daze where the only concrete thing to ground you is this man who shimmers into existence at late hours of the night and early hours of the morning. and you love it.

for the first few thrusts, you can tell he’s holding back, trying to give you a second to adjust to the feeling. you wind your fingers into his hair and tug, meeting his eyes and silently telling him to keep going. it’s all he needs before you feel his hips pull back and slam down into you.

your sight blurs as your eyes roll back, legs wrapping around his back and allowing him to reach the most prized areas inside of you. just like everything else about him, it’s perfect, so flawless you feel tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. he carries on for a while with that same rhythm and it doesn’t take you long before you’re hurtling towards another orgasm.

taeyong slows down to let your pleasure simmer down before continuing, chasing his own high as well as pushing you towards your own. his hips fatler from their original cadence into a messy movement that has you meeting his thrusts halfway. you start to clench around him involuntarily and he drops his head to the crook of your neck, tugging your skin between his teeth and sucking harshly to balance his pleasure.

you fall apart at the same time, synchronised heart beats going a mile a minute. the air in the room is charged and you feel electrified, like you’re on fire but also at the bottom of a freezing lake. the feeling of taeyong spilling into you makes you shiver, the warmth shocking your system. he continues pushing into you for a few moments before pulling out, rubbing his hand up your slit to see the way you jolt in overstimulation.

your eyes are still screwed shut and you feel him roll off you onto the bed beside you, the air rushing to your lungs easer without the extra weight. there’s silence for a while before you finally open your eyes with a smile and look over to taeyong.

the sight before you shocks you, makes your blood turn ice cold. taeyong lies facing you with an innocent smile on his face, but where his glittering eyes once looked at you with such adoration, two black pits stare back at you. the room is suddenly freezing and you flinch when his hand comes to rest on your waist.

too scared to move, you only screw your eyes shut and hope the sight disappears. to your relief, when you open then again there is nothing but a dent in mattress left behind and the cold winter wind blowing through your open window.

a/n; i hope you liked this!!! i enjoyed writing it even if it is kinda more filthy than usual,, reposted because of tags

[bruh-haikyuu]

Dear oik suckers can I ask for some comedy of oikawa and kags liking the same girl

A/N: Hana I see u 👀

viridity. | oikawa tōru + kageyama tobio

word count: 2482

warnings: none

(n.) naive innocence

It’s perfect. It’s so ideal, Oikawa nearly jumps up and down screaming. You’ll love it. You’ll love it so much you’ll actually jump up and down screaming like he’s aching to. And after that, when he tells you how he feels, you can’t possibly say no.

White Day is going to be middle school third-year Oikawa Tooru’s day. Anyone who plans otherwise is getting a volleyball to the head very, very soon. He’s saved up for this moment the entire year and took up as much part-time jobs as his schedule could handle. Resisted ever burning urge to get new knee pads, so he could afford the very item being displayed on the front window of the chocolate shop.

“My lucky day,” Oikawa thinks as his hand reaches out for the last daintily wrapped box of bittersweet chocolate on the shelf. Nothing is going to stop him now...

Except the pristinely kept hand that takes ahold of the box at the same time. The pristinely kept hand that extends all the way to the torso of the last kouhai he needed to see right now.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Kageyama knows that this present screams you in every fashion. You, his precious second-year upperclassman, who’d brought a dazzling light into his world whenever you entered a room. It’s the type of chocolate that isn’t too bitter but not sweet also; it’s milky, and just the way you like it. If Kageyama doesn’t get it for you, he doesn’t know what he’ll do to himself.

White Day is going to be middle school first-year Kageyama Tobio’s day. He’s practiced day and night for the day where he’d finally tell you how he feels; hearing you say no, would be the death of him, but if you’d miraculously say yes... well, he’ll think of the intricacies later. You’ll love this gift from him, much better than any gift you’ll ever have. It’ll be a gift where you’d profusely say you couldn’t accept it, but would eventually prize it for years to come.

Kageyama thinks, “This chocolate is mine.” Thrusting out his arm to slip the last beautifully wrapped box into his hands, he pictures your sparkling smile when he presents this to you and professes his love.

But he’d spoke to soon, when he feels another hand gripping the other end of the box. Another hand that belonged to the upperclassman who could ruin everything he’d ever planned up to this day.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

“Tobio-chan.”

“Senpai.”

Oikawa wants to laugh, and then cry and then curse at the gods for his unfortunate encounter. How fitting. Of course Kageyama wants the exact same thing as him as well; all he’d ever done was did what Oikawa had done and made it look better when he was doing it. But now he had to develop a similar eye for chocolate too? Oikawa nearly growls, but pits the feeling deep in his stomach.

Meanwhile, Kageyama tethers on the brink of pulling the chocolate from his upperclassman’s hands and running away. But if you’d heard he’d done such a thing, Kageyama would never be able to live with himself anymore. Why now? he thinks. And out of all the people to do it too... Kageyama deems himself as a rather unlucky person.

But neither of them even thinks of backing down. It was this chocolate, or eternal shame that will haunt them until they’re crippled and dusty.

“Tobio-chan,” Oikawa starts, gripping the box hard enough for veins to pop from the contours of his skin. Despite this, he’s sporting an impressive grin enough to make the shopkeeper’s knees go weak. “What a surprise to see you here.”

Kageyama, on the other hand, does not spare a single smile to his senior, and tugs the box harder towards him. “I believe it’s more surprising that we’ve gotten ourselves in this situation, Senpai.”

“Oh, you think so?” the older boy gripes, pulling the gift and Kageyama to his side. “Say, what a tough grip you’ve got here. You must really want this very specific box of chocolates specially designed for the female species which is coincidentally the last on the shelf.”

“Of course, it’s a gift unlike any other.”

“Who’re you planning to give it to? I don’t remember you being this forward with girls,” Oikawa feels slightly childish, having to go through a tug of war with a first-year middle schooler in the midst of a refined candy shop. But if it means getting this present for you, it’s to hell with everything. “Is it Misaki-chan? Or that cute girl with pigtails in your class?... Don’t tell me you have a crush on Y/N-chan...”

Kageyama would rather have been run over by a bus than admit anything to anyone—particularly a senior who’d almost tried to “subjugate” him with bitter violence. But hearing your name, in reference to the feelings he’d harbored for you, boils his blood to the peak.

“So it is Y/N-chan... How regrettable, then. Because I was planning to give this to her too.”

Oikawa wishes his naive junior didn’t turn red. But alas, that is the truth, and the truth is that the both of them are rivals when it comes to your affections. The truth is that the dewy-eyed genius Tobio-chan and the apex predator Oikawa are destined adversaries, whether they like it or not. Yet frankly, they just want a break from each other.

Neither of them are letting their iron grips go loose, even by a single millimeter. Determination is scribbled all over Kageyama’s face, his features scrunching up like a week-old prune left out in the sun. Little by little, he also spots the faint animalistic aura from his senpai, who doesn’t seem very pleased with their little “game”.

“Please let go, Oikawa-senpai. I grabbed it first.”

He laughs in return, “Well I liked Y/N-chan first. You let go, Tobio-chan~”

“I won’t let Y/N-senpai’s heart fall to the Demon King’s hands.”

“Ha?! What’d you call me, you brat?! Say it again! Let’s see what happens!”

No, no, no, no. This is not supposed to be how it was going to go. Oikawa was just going to head into the candy shop, grab the last box of chocolates and pay for it with the hard-earned money he’d collected. Then, the next day on White Day, he would give it to you at the private corner in the school courtyard with the blossoming plum tree. You’d smile that smile he loved, then he’d confess. You’d blush and shyly nod and you live happily ever after. Bla bla bla. End of story.

That was the plan. Until Oikawa found himself locked in a tug-of-war with his stone-faced underclassman in a petite candy shop with all its patrons staring at them—he even swears he noticed a father whisper to her slobbery daughter: “Ume-chan, they’re the kinds of boys you’ll want to avoid dating when you grow up, okay?”

“Give it up, Tobio-chan! I’m prettier!”

“Well, I’m not a narcissist!”

“At least I know how to read kanji!”

“Th-That’s not important! I saw it first, senpai—”

Kageyama doesn’t know if he is lucky or cursed, but when a shrill voice suddenly cuts off their heated dispute, he is sent flying back against the vending machine with the faintly crumpled package of chocolates held tightly to his chest. Did I win? he asks himself before being met with a pair of round black eyes reflecting his fatigued face.

“Mama, look, look! I found the chocolate!” a young boy, not older than six, is sidled in front of Kageyama who’s slumping lowly against the snack dispenser from the awkward distance. His stubbly finger is pointed at the chocolates, with the powerful conviction of need.

“Adachi-kun! What did I tell you about pointing at people like that?” the boy’s mother quickly emerges from the crowd to take her son by the hand. Her expression is apologetic, but her son’s gaze does not break away from the box in Kageyama’s hands.

“B-but, Kokoro-chan really, really likes this chocolate. She gave me those really nice candies on Valentine’s and I want to give her something back for White Day—”

Adachi-kun’s mother smiles at him before her kind expression is replaced with one of remorse. “That’s very sweet of you... But these young men saw it first and probably want to give this chocolate to the girl they like too. Let’s go buy Kokoro-chan something else, okay?”

Seeing the boy literally droop, Oikawa and Kageyama feel something wilt inside of them too. Mumbling incoherently, he bows to Kageyama, “Sorry for pointing at you, Big Bro...”

After the boy’s mother does four consecutive bows to Oikawa and Kageyama each, the two boys retreat back to the shelf where the box of chocolates were. It’s nearly pathetic, bordering on lame. Sure, Kageyama got the chocolate, but something hollow blooms in his heart. You’ll love it, but at what cost? Just so that a kid couldn’t give back a gift for someone he loves?

Oikawa cringes in silence, his eyes glancing back and forth at the chocolate in his junior’s hands and the sunken back of the young boy. He doesn’t say but he sees himself in him—fated to lose inevitably to the whims of chance. Sighing, Oikawa ponders about his day; it just keeps getting more and more difficult for no reason. And he wants to know why.

“You can have it.”

Kageyama’s dim voice nearly throws him off. The chocolate being shoved to Oikawa’s chest is even more of a shock. His expression is painfully strained, but his needless request is genuine—and Oikawa’s pissed off again.

“Me?! I don’t want it either now. Geez...”

The younger boy furrows his brows, “So what am I supposed to do with this, senpai?”

“You tell me,” his eyes are still lingering over to the tiny figure of the boy. The postures of the two middle schoolers are that of surrender.

And surrender is what they do.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Thanks to the “whims of chance”, both Kageyama and Oikawa are lacking the gift they’d sought for you on White Day. But thanks to those same “whims of chance”, a girl out there called Kokoro-chan was going to get the best chocolates ever from a boy she liked. The feeling is not realistically satisfying, but at least they can brag a story to you one day.

Oikawa is tired out. Completely drained; battery level 0%. After leaving the shop with empty hands and a full pocket of saved money, he figured he’d get you another gift. But if it took him half a year to figure out the first one, how long was it going to take to figure out his plan B?

“Why not try something homemade? I think your feelings can convey to others better if you do it from scratch,” his mother had smiled that evening, presenting him with two bars of cooking chocolate.

Oikawa had been excited. His mother was a genius. While everyone else was giving out those crappy, factory-made chocolates, Oikawa’s gift to you was going to be straight out of his own kitchen. It was going to be perfect, ideal—

...Until he found out he didn’t have much of a talent for cooking.

So walking in the second-year hallways is volleyball celebrity Oikawa Tooru, face pallid from pulling an all-nighter to figure out how in hell his chocolate had turned green. In his hands are those treats, packed prettily in heart-patterned plastic with a satin bow (thank god for that), as an attempt to hide the fortunately less green globs of chocolate within them.

Well, if you’re not going to like the chocolate, at least you’ll appreciate the wrapping. Oikawa thinks, lazily drifting through throngs of blushing second-years.

Kageyama is on the other end of the hallway, a crumpled scrap of paper sitting in his hand. If you listen closely, you’ll hear his distinct voice forcing out a... i-is that a mantra? Thankfully, Kageyama has no intention to recite a Buddhist prayer to you on White Day—instead, it’s a love poem, uncharacteristically being brought to you by your pensive junior.

He doesn’t even recall what sparked him to write it (though he was rather suspicious of his sister’s magazines lying around the house). Did he even ask his mother or sister to proofread it? Well, he was thankful that he didn’t, because if he did, they’d either laugh or scold him for his poor use of four-character idioms.

It isn’t chocolate, but it’s straight from the heart. Yet how he wishes the incident at the candy shop didn’t have to extend all the way to little Adachi-kun’s plight. Now you were going to think of him as a joke with no prowess for literature—not that he was one in the first place...

“Oh, senpai.”

“Tobio-chan, we meet in this situation again, I see.”

Neither of them had realized that they’d reach the doors of your classroom until they locked eyes with each other. They’re both too tired to argue at this point, better yet, scorn each other. Oikawa who’d spent the night conjuring a tornado in his mother’s kitchen and Kageyama who’d surprised his family by cracking open a literature book. You’ll never know what’s coming.

“Well, here we are,” Oikawa says, tossing his gift up and down like it’s nothing more than a baseball. “The final judgment.”

“She will choose between us, Demon King-senpai.”

Oikawa’s eyebrows twitch in exasperation but he makes no move to choke the boy. “Stop calling me that, the “senpai” at the end doesn’t do any help you know... I don’t get what’s going on in your head, but may the best gift win the Y/N-chan’s heart, I guess.”

Kageyama politely nods and urges his senior to open the door. When it slides away to reveal your beautiful, smiling face, the boys’ jaws drop when they see what’s piled on your desk.

They nearly forget how popular you are. They nearly forget that there are hundreds of boys and girls out there who’re just as in love with you as they are. And what’s worse is that the mountains of chocolate, love letters and poems don’t seem to stop growing as more people crowd around you.

It’s even worse when they spot at least ten of a familiar box of chocolates in the masses. The same boxes of chocolates that they had wrestled for in the candy shop. The same boxes of chocolates that are about to be given to a certain Kokoro-chan today.

“Special”. What a lie, they both curse. Nevertheless, they surrender and join the mob of people anyway, because there is no way in hell are they going to let their late-night efforts go to waste. Even if one looks like a cat’s vomit and the other sounds like a crappy soap opera. You’ll love it anyway. And that’s what they love about you.

[hiimsociallyawkward]

aithusia

hi bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars it's been a while. i said i would do this episode last week but i had to wait for the destiny and chicken podcast to come out so here we are. basically, all of my thoughts while watching aithusia.

ugh the opening scene. i actually love it

ok ngl i remember that this guy is the bad guy but he's like 🥵🥵🥵 jeez

ik it's not just on tiktok but that tiktok where it goes 'but momma i'm in love with a criminal'

wow nice key bud

ok him running in the forest is just like you cannot outrun your demons and i thought that was so funny

smh he's so violent but he's so pretty :,)

ok but how old is this guy?? he say it's taken 20 years of his life. why 20? is that because that's when the 'last' dragon died out?? and at what age was he socially concious enough to recognize the implication of what it means to have a dragon? his is so dumb but probably like 15? so this guy is 35ish? idk man thoughts?

ok if he just feel off the cliff instead of being able to pull himself up we would've saved ourselves a lot of trouble i'm just saying druids.

ok this is so pretty. my thoughts are like 25% me singing show tunes, 25% thinking of actual merlin things, 50% thinking about how pretty everything is

merlin is such a light sleeper. idk why that's important but he wakes up ALL the time

✨gaius is the worst ✨

ok colin's eye looked so good in this scene

aLASFLJDFA MERLIN AND HIS SOCKS

stop i literally dress like this

i love his sleep clothes. it's such a vibe

aw merlin saying 'save the dragons is so cute' omg it reminds me of the vsco girls and saving the turtles HAHA

i love how equal merlin and kilgharrah feel here

asjflsjdasjdfl like ik this is the point but i love that merlin's inherited his father gift and he's always going to remember him. not that merlin would forget his father but idek

aw kilgharrah is like 'i beg you' ok now that i think abt it maybe it's slightly manipulative but it's also really not

ok actually i don't know how many time merlin uses this scene but i guess i'm keeping track now. but look how pretty

wow the rising sun 🤪

OH HAHA THIS IS WHERE MERLIN CARTWHEELS??

literally merlin just breaks in everywhere

merlin seems so earnest about wanting to see the dragons. i want to see the dragons too please

omg HAHA the woodworm is this episode??

WHY IS MERLIN STILL SEARCHING AFTER ARTHUR TURNS AROUND WHAT?

this is a side note but i love arthur's key holder thingy it's actually pretty.

stop right now why is merlin using his magic to PANTS arthur

ok i'm pretty sure that agravaine is only in this episode this one time, and yk it's the little victories

i'm actually embarassed for arthur and merlin here. i don't like it at all

HOW DOES MERLIN DO THE HANDSTAND?? that's the one part i like

ok my question is how is he supposed to know where the last piece of the triskeleton is??

SECOND QUESTION WHY IS HE JUST STANDING IN THE VAULT WHEN HE SHOULD BE RUNNING

lasflkajsdljsad omg the betrayal. ouch my heart

these scene are just like. it's actually art

ok how did merlin stay there all night and no one saw him?? literally camelot guards need to step up

omg no not merlin zooming

sklfja;lsdkjfasdlfs amerlin and the cup

i love how long merlin and arthur look at each other before arthur reacts

lsjfa;lksdsl woodworm omg and the fact that arthur believes that merlin is this chaotic is so funny

HAHA THIS SCENE GAIUS LITERALLY YELLING AT MERLIN

i think this is the funniest thing because gaius is like 'don't people about your magic' while YELLING ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC

ok that's a good point gaius we don't know what borden's intentions are

alsdjfalsd stop why didn't they wait for merlin :,(. this reminds me of when you're in highschool and you're finishing lunch and as you pack up everyone is leaving you??????

ok but i love that merlin rides in front with arthur. like- of course he does

merlin being observant 😍😍

i want to go horse riding now

STOP I DON'T LIKE THIS

THIS KNIGHT/DINNER GAG IS NOT FUNNY TO ME. NOT IN THE SLIGHTLEST. THERE'S THIS FIC by @a-small-batch-of-dragons. i literally spent like 10 minutes looking for it because i had to include it here

this scene just.. i don't like it. i never have and i never will

like- who decided that putting this scene in here would be good. no thanks

the knights sleeping in a circle and merlin sleeping on the outside. idk bro that made me a little sad

but also. i want a cloak please. i think i'm just going to say i want a cloak every episode

ok i chuckled at the interaction of 'ever herd of the word sorry?' and 'no is it a word you made up?'

dude don't ask why but i love it when people walk through waterfalls

i don't know why arthur looked so stupid when he was doing it though

i love the nature of it all

yes merlin, you start walking toward the castle first

aw i love the knights working together. like, i know they work together- they're knights, but we love to see it

merlin and his sharp eyes again :,))

why are they making camp it's literally not even dark yet 😭😭

oh great another dinner gag. please stop. i dislike this immensely

wow i love that merlin can heal them. i also think it's surprising because merlin sucks at healing things but yk.. ✨plot✨

this looks like the type of building teens would either be convinced is haunted and try to stay the night there or the type of building that all teens would go to to take pics for the #gram

ok is borden dead here or..

yes i'm putting both of these picture here. who's going to stop me

just kidding it's three

ok so not dead

ok this is not meant to be creepy but colin has nice hands

borden is a creep please go away now

merlin use your ✨magic ✨ please

YES. tell him you're the last dragonlord. i stan. YES HIM AND HIS MAGIC

you better run boy

ok how he manages to get out of the castle is astounding

HAHA there was some CGI that fell and i laughed so hard because it looked so fake

LITERALLY. THE PRETTY CASTLE SCENE IS HERE AGAIN. PRETTY CASTLE SCENE COUNTER; 3

omg merlin getting excited about the egg is actually so precious

both of their faces here are SO precious.

oasfasldfjasl idk why but whenever merlin walks across with the eggs i have this feeling he's going to faceplant and drop it for the comedic effect but i'm glad that never happens

bruh 'back where it belongs' like yes that makes sense but also that doesn't make sense

dude

it's been a full moon for like 4 days now..??????

omg i actually love aithusa

tbh, i DO NOT know how to pronounce her name

why is she actually the cutest thing ever.

AW MERLIN CRYING

i love it when merlin cries, but not in a sadistic way yk? it's more the fact that he's allowed to cry

ok i have a few dragon fics that i love but the only one i can think of right now is Returning the Favor by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle it's actually perfect

there are so many more that i love but i can't think of them but also- PLEASE REC YOUR FAVE DRAGON FAMILY DOMESTIC FICS PLEASE AND THANK YOU

anyways. i'll be back tomorrow to rant more about the darkest hr pt 2 so i'll see you then! also let me know if you want me to stop tagging you @lady-ofmagic-andstars because otherwise i will literally tag you in everything :,)

[bellatrixxue]

Xue’s Supernatural Dare: Wendigo (S1 EP2)

Hello, everyone? How did everyone feel about the finale? Yes? Yes? Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh, dear.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that half-assed homophobic chicken-shit fuckbucket’s not gonna stop me, since I strapped myself onto this roller coaster already and I promised I’m not getting out until the ride’s over, so here we go, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, those who are in this roller coaster with me, ready? Tag list is: @fangirlxwritesx67​ @amazingiam00​ @kalliravenne​ @indecisive20something​ @2musiclover2​ @impossibletosleepthrough @there-must-be-a-lock​ @wingedcatninja​ @arvit​

Oh my gods this recap is so cheesy I actually can make a fondue out of it. 2000s, everybody!

A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF FOR THAT FONDUE

FUCKJUMPSCARETITLEFUCKYOU

So we’re starting the episode with the murder scene first, eh? Is that gonna be a trend?

Oh come on, Chads, you’re out in nature and you’re playing video games? Absorb the nature...before it absorbs you!

Waitwait. Holy shit is that...is that Cory Monteith? Oh, bless his soul...

If the wendigo eats his dick as he’s peeing I’m immediately giving Jensen Ackles $100. For no real reason, I just feel like giving him money for already carrying the show on his back.

I can’t tell if it did or not, so I’m not paying yet.

Aw, Sammy...

"I should have told you the truth.” *Vine voice* BUT YOU DIDN’T

FUCKYOUINTHEASSHOhnightmare. Nightmare. So did he visit her at her grave or not? I need answers.

A week? Goddamn. Poor thing. That man-eating tree’s fucking good at his job, man.

“There’s nothing there, it’s just...woods,” Sam, I don’t know if Jess’s death hit you hard or if you got into law school by eating some ancient dick and/or pussy instead of earning that high score fair and square, but the woods “in the middle of nowhere” (your words) are known to be one of the top places full of weird-ass creatures. Even kindergartners know that.

Ehehehehehehehehe he’s so smol next to his lil bro my lil shit

At least you’re coming up with decent covers this time. No Agent Mulder and Scully ruining things for you this time around.

“Bull” oop-

Oh Dean’s a smoooooooooth operator. Good going, buddy.

AND HE GOT A COPY OF THAT DOCUMENT TEAM DEAN TEAM DEAN

Oh that death really got to Sam. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a trigger-happy psycho. Or eat the man-eating tree and become one himself.

Oh, Haley’s a cutie! Which one’s her brother? Cory? Discount Enrique Iglesias?

Do you have a card for EVERY profession, Dean? And how do I get them too?

That is a very pretty car. I bet they wasted half the budget on that thing.

Okay, sonny boy, little bro, Broseidon, calm down.

Ah, fuck, Haley and Broseidon is gonna go into the woods, that’s more heads to worry about.

How the fuck does Sam find information this fast? I’m impressed, I take five hours to get to one article for my research paper. Or maybe I’m just lazy. So he really earned his law school interview without having to eat dick and pussy, huh.

Every 23 years? What is this, Pennywise? Are we going to see the wendigo do his best Tim Curry do his best scary clown impression? Honk honk?

“Whatever that thing is, it can move.” And the sun rises on the East, Sammy. Why are you so smart and dumb at the same time? Is this his character trait? It might grow on me.

Ahhh, so Sam’s go-to move at interrogation is doing puppy dog eyes and sympathize with the person. He’d make a good lawyer, shame that man-eating tree.

Go Grandpa Exposition, go!

Go Grandpa Exposition, go, give us information and none at all!

OH GEEZ THAT SCAR. PENNYWISE WENDIGO IS VICIOUS.

Skinwalker, Back Dog...Ooh, those all sound cool! I hope we get to see them soon!

‘Corporeal’ doesn’t sound like a real word, but then again, English doesn’t sound like a real language. Sorry. Moving on.

Sam’s gonna eat the wendigo with that attitude, Jesus Christ.

AND HIS BROTHER, AT THIS RATE. If the real villain turns out to be inside Sam all along I’m gonna flip. Is that why women keep dying and burning on ceilings where he sleeps? Is he secretly Lucifer’s spawn or something?

“Oh sweetheart I don’t wear shorts”. They queer-coded him from the start and they tried to make you believe he was straight for fifteen seasons straight? And some people bought that?

Oh, crap, another crappy death treatment for Cory before he got into Glee...No, I wasn’t into Glee, I just watched a few episodes and I might hate Rachel Berry...And Lea Michele...ahem...

Dean is totally flirting with Roy shut upppppppp

OOP AND THERE ROY GOES OH THE SEXUAL TENSION IS HIGH IN THESE WOODS TODAY

“It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” See. Bi. Bi bi bi.

So...why the coordinates, Daddy Negan? Is this a portal to Hell? A place where man-eating trees grow?

*carefully places death flag on Roy*

Ooooh the campsite is very...haunted house-y. You know what I’m saying?

That’s not Discount Enrique Iglesias, but Pennywise wendigo, yes? Those things can mimic human voices, right?

*Google searches*...There are so many versions of this tale I can’t even confirm or deny it. Dammit.

Maybe Pennywise wendigo just wants some snacks and a nice phone and GPS? Maybe he misses his family in uh, Canada or something?

Daddy Negan’s journal is  a e s t h e t i q u e .

I’m so sorry, but the way Sammy smirks as he speaks with those dark, dark voids for eyes? My boy’s a demon. He’s a demon, I’m telling you.

At least Haley has some sense to her. *puts another death flag on Roy*

*PUTS YET ANOTHER DEATH FLAG ON ROY*

True, that. What the heck is Daddy Negan up to with all of this?

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business!” Okay, the way Dean said it gave me chills.

I can actually empathize with Sam here...As whiny and bitchy as he is, he has his reasons to be this way. I guess if I were in his shoes, I’d be less of a Dean and more of a Sam, too. We deal with our losses quite similarly.

Ah, the brotherly bonding moments like these little talks make the show worth it. It’s so heartwarming.

Pennywise wendigo! I didn’t miss you, why’re you here to burst my happy bubble?

I’m starting to see a slight parallel between Haley and Broseidon and Dean and Sammy. Hmm.

Nice meeting you, Roy. Zoop you go.

Haley and Broseidon are taking this rather well, I’m glad they do.

Okay, actual exposition time, thank you.

Whoa, Broseidon speaks! Donner Party! Please don’t remind me of that! Those poor people!

Hibernation and food storage. Delightful, just delightful.

TORCHING? *CALLS RAMMSTEIN*

Somehow, not being able to see the wendigo is scarier to me than what I will probably see itself. Limited budget horror can actually work well.

Oh, dear, Roy literally did a death drop. Badum tissssssssss.

FUCK IT TOOK DEAN THE ONLY CHARACTER I CARE ABOUImean I love you too, Sam! Come on, let’s find him before it’s too late!

A trail of M&Ms! Yes, Broseidon! And Hansel and Gretel refercalled it. Sammy, you and I share the same wavelength?

SHITSHITTHEYTRIPPEDANDFELLINTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thank the gods the Pennywise wendigo kept them right there. Chances.

DISCOUNT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS STILL ALIVE GEEZ BUT ALSO PHEW

Ah, Dean Winchester, I love you so much that I can’t even begin to describe it.

Also how convenient that the flare guns are there. Deus ex machina!

Haley would bode well as a hunter, look at her courage, her will. There are more hunters around than Daddy Negan and the brothers, right?

Yeah, seeing the actual wendigo makes me less scared of it now. It’s unnerving, but still.

TEAM DEAN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

Graphics are...alright, but it’s the thought that counts!

Running with the grizzly bear story. Smart Broseidon. Ben. Sorry, you deserve to be called by your real name. I think with practice they could become good hunters, along with their Discount Enrique Iglesias brother! Is there a fanfiction for that? Can I write it now?

...

I AM WILLING TO DIE TO PROTECT DEAN WINCHESTER I

Haley’s a lesbian, that’s why she kissed him on the cheek only. Headcanoned. Also I have a crush on her, she’s really pretty? Like? Heart eyes???

Ah, the siblings parallels again. Let’s hope neither of the two brothers end up in the bed like that.

“Man, I hate camping.” Really. Really really. Really.

“I’m driving”

...

SAM WINCHESTER I’M SORRY I EVER SPOKE ILL OF YOU I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE TOO I PROMISE YOU I WILL

It’s just a sassy bisexual brother and his little snide bisexual brother on the road to kill evil creatures and find their father and I love this show? Help? Help???

I really, really see the charm of Supernatural now! I’m fully invested in both brothers and their story, and I’m cheering them both on! Let’s get Daddy Negan back and get rid of that man-eating tree once and for all!

Six stars out of five!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This dare is introducing me to a whole new world, and I really, really am glad I took that jump a few days ago, man!

Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings, and I’ll see you in the day after with the next review! Thank you for sticking with me! Buh-bye!

- Xue

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Okay but I have this very specific head canon that Eli and Demetri liked to have sleepovers in a tent in the back yard? And maybe this was like their safe space where the could open up and didn’t need to pretend? Like they had to keep things bottled up at school at sometimes it was hard to tell each other stuff even at school or at home with their parents hanging around, and since pretty much most of the year is warm in California, they liked to set up a tent of Friday nights and just get to relax and be themselves and tell each other secrets and talk about everything?

I’M LITERALLY SO UPSET I WROTE A LONG-ASS ANSWER FOR THIS AND TUMBLR DELETED IT

Time to type it AGAIN I guess

But I really??? LOVE this idea??? And can totally see it??? Like these two nerds would DEFINITELY pitch a tent in Demetri’s backyard and pretend they were camping and tell spooky spooky ghost stories XD I imagine when they were a bit younger they liked to play “haunted camping trip,” where they’d pretend Demetri’s backyard was the woods and it was overrun with space monsters, goblins, demons, or the like XD And I can see them feeling like they couldn’t fully let loose with their moms around--maybe they didn’t want their moms to overhear their conversations and realize how bad the bullying at school actually was??? I mean hey, we all saw what happened when Eli’s mom realized and tried to interfere, and it did NOT end well. But tucked away in their little tent, they can talk about the hell that is their lives at school in all its gory details--probably bringing snacks to gorge on as well, to eat all their woes away in junk food.

And sometimes, after a really bad week, Eli needs to have a crying session--and Demetri is always there for him to hug it out if he needs to. And hey, maybe hugging your totally platonic bro for that long is a liiiittle gay, but what happens in the tent stays in the tent. No one outside their tent needs to know that they’re doing slightly gay-related activities, or activities that could be perceived as such XD After an exceptionally shitty week, or after waking up from an especially nasty nightmare, Eli is authorized to crawl into Demetri’s sleeping bag and sleep in there. They Don’t Talk About This outside the tent.

I have a headcanon that when the boys are 11-12ish, they go on a trip to Big Bear together--Demetri’s or Eli’s family takes them, either works--and they stay in a cabin. One night, after all the adults are asleep, Eli convinces Demetri to sneak out and go stargazing with him, and Demetri agrees only if they haul a bunch of blankets outside with them so they don’t both freeze to death XD (I mean, if signing up for Cobra Kai is anything to go by, Eli has a history of talking Demetri into things he wouldn’t normally go for XD) As soon as Demetri looks up at the sky, he gets unironically just as excited as Eli--after all, the boy’s only ever known light pollution-choked LA, and he’s never seen that many stars in his goddamn life. They lay down on the blankets together, and Demetri immediately starts rambling about astronomy and theorizing about whether all the stars and planets out there could be anything like the ones in Star Wars or Star Trek. And Eli turns and just looks at him--his face glowing with excitement, his mouth moving a thousand miles an hour, his hands frantically gesturing like he’s trying to paint an entire damn mural of whatever he’s talking about. And Eli feels something so soft and light stir in his chest, like being here, under the stars with Demetri, is the happiest he’s ever been. And in that moment, Eli suddenly gets the impulse to reach over and lace his fingers with Demetri’s, to lean over and press their mouths together. He pushes it away, dismissing it as nothing--but he knows it isn’t.

Flash forward to the summer before college, after Demetri and Eli have been training in the combined dojo for a while now and the fateful All Valley Tournament is behind them. Their families take them on another trip to Big Bear together, as a graduation gift of sorts. One night, Demetri knocks on the door to Eli’s room with an armful of cabin blankets and a shit-eating grin on his face. He gestures outside and says “For old time’s sake?”

Once they’re lying down together again, Demetri, predictably, starts talking about Star Wars--although now, to Eli’s delight and amusement, he’s incorporated in how cool he thinks light saber duels would look if the Jedi incorporated karate in. At some point, without thinking, Eli just suddenly blurts out “You know, last time we did this, I wanted to kiss you.” There’s a pause, and Eli’s just like Oh god, I fucked up, I fucked up, I should NOT have said that out loud but then Demetri just turns and gives him this soft little smile and says “What’s stopping you now?”

And Eli just GRABS him and pulls him in and GOES TO TOWN because GODDAMN has he waited too fucking long for this and also because if he doesn’t then Demetri WILL NOT SHUT UP the entire night long.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 2

Boggy the Froggy!

Welcome back, ya’ll! We jump back in with our Bad Kids (or 4/6 of them anyway) the very next day. Fabian sends Gilear out on a coffee run on the threat of bodily harm. His mom–who, if you remember is low-key a total badass–tells Fabian that if Gilear doesn’t come back from the quest alive, she’s going to duel him to the death on top of the house. Yikes. At Chez Thistlespring, Gorgug’s parents give him another very detailed sex talk and then remind him that he lives in a world where magic is very real so any and all dreams he remembers should be treated as omens. 

At the haunted house, Adaine wakes up having had portentous dreams like everyone else which is doubly concerning I have to imagine considering (1) she is the eleven oracle and (2) as a full elf she’s supposed to trance, not sleep and dream. Luckily for her nerves, she cast Find Familiar the night before and summoned an emotional support familiar which she gave the amazing name Bogariel Frogariel aka: Boggy the Froggy. 

Meanwhile (and I needed to switch paragraphs because Kristen is doing the D&D equivalent of playing Twister while everyone else is playing Checkers as she is wont to do) Kristen is talking to Tracker about changing Yes? again because she is filled with doubt about her god of doubt but the one thing she clearly doesn’t have doubt about is her relationship with Tracker because it’s been less than a year and she already sees wedding bells in their future. Wild. She also invites Tracker on the quest, rectifying what I thought was a wild oversight last week. 

Everyone meets up and they realize Fig and Riz are missing. They (specifically Fabian) can’t get Riz on the phone (which has never happened before) and all of Fig’s stuff is missing. They head over to Riz’s office to see if they can find him but, before that, Tracker cancels the church of Yes? because, sure. 

There are signs of a struggle at Riz’s office, but no blood. They find a picture of Riz’s super-spy dad (Pok) with his arm around someone who appears invisible to them (though the spot is circled in red). They also find claw marks going up to a mirror. Adaine stops Gorgug from touching the mirror which would have driven him insane and had him attack the group. She sees a twisted version of Riz in the mirror which no one else can see until she describes it (suspicious). Then, she dispels magic and the Riz appears in the room…and attacks them (roll for initiative baybee)!

Fabian is flipped the F out. Kristen decides to chill out and drink Riz’s coffee–much to the incredulousness of everyone else (she’s on those chill existential dread vibes). Adaine and Gorgug are stricken by fear but they’re able to snap out of it quickly. Once they’re sure it’s not Riz (the doppelganger is going full creepy horror movie monster with the head twisting and biting and junk), they start going full throttle but Kristen gets a clutch roll and lands a banishment on Nightmare Riz (who was invisible at the time). Also, Adaine finds a gun but no one is down with her packing heat without proper firearms training so she reluctantly puts it back. They confer with Sandra-Lynn and they find out Fig has, for some reason, gone to Bastion City (the capital) and Gorthalax is missing. Also, because Emily is Emily whether she’s present or not, they find out that Fig has decided to multiclass and she is now a bard/warlock with her demon dad as her patron. Those might be connected because, as her patron, Gorthalax can now find Fig at all times.  

Sklonda, in the meantime, has been investigating a robbery at the mall. They end up there too because Gilear (who is back from his coffee run) said he saw Fig’s bus in the area. They tell Ragh to meet them there and then head over (Gorgug in the old family car which he buys from them for 30 gold (the cost of a pony)–the amount Adaine suggests after the Thistlesprings reject his insane offer of 1000 gold). Also, Kristen leaves her brothers some gold secretly which is sad and also I think not the best way to handle that, but the intention is good. The robbery was of a gem–non-magical I believe–called the Devil’s Heart. [Edit: And apparently Fig’s doing.] Fabian shows up, tries to be helpful, and then eats glass. Normal stuff. 

The group tries to figure out what’s going on with Fig by calling the hotel she’s at and basically doing a straight improv comedy routine, each passing the phone around with a bad story until Adaine just hangs the phone up. Then, they find out from Sklonda that Pok’s partner is a tabaxi (cat person) named Kalina and she is in the empty space in the photo. Sklonda and Sandra-Lynn can see it even though the Bad Kids can’t. 

With that information gathered, the group leaves Elmville for the first time on the way to the Hotel Cavalier in Bastion City and, hopefully, Fig. 

Detention

Fabian for Intern Abuse

Poor Gilear. Fabian solicits increasingly complicated coffee orders from his friends to make Gilear’s job harder and tries to get them to threaten Gilear on their behalf. Even Sandra-Lynn was like, bro. Lay off the guy. Bad form, sir. (Hilarious, but bad). 

Honor Roll

Adaine for Rocking Her Portent Rolls

Adaine had a 19 and a 4 for her portent rolls this session and she used them very judiciously. The first was her 19 which she gave to Gorgug who was about to fail his saving throw and touch the mirror which would have led to him attacking everyone (she has a vision of his beheading her in a rage–sidenote love that Brennan makes her portent rolls actual visions instead of just having the mechanical effect of changing the roll happen). The second was a 4 which she gave to Brennan who was rolling for concentration on Nightmare Riz’s fear spell. What a power move to stare your DM in the face and say, “You roll a 4.” Amazing. Portent rolls are so good you guys. Also, bonus points for coming up with the name Bogariel Frogariel. 

Random Thoughts

Fabian’s response to his mom’s ultimatum that she will fight him if Gilear doesn’t return alive? “Damn, guess I have to fight my mom.”

“MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG.”

Brennan describes Boggy as just the most archetypal looking, round, squishy frog and I want a plush of his yesterday. Or a stress ball! It would go with his whole emotional support thing in game. I love that Siobhan picked not the potentially “useful” or “cool” animal. She went full Marie Kondo and was like, “What’s gonna spark some joy?” Boggy also can give her the help action, which is great!

The episode was great even 2 cast members down, but they were missed. On more than one occasion, I was like, “This is more quiet than usual. I wonder why–ah Emily.” We better get her reaction to Boggy as soon as she’s back.  

Kristen brings up the concept of patenting a god which is wild. We also get an answer to the question I had last week about Tracker’s cleric status–she still is a cleric of the moon goddess. The moon goddess is just chill with her followers not being exclusive. 

Fabian sans Riz is a hilarious mess. For anyone who likes them together as friends and/or romantically there was a lot of Content. Fabian being like, “Idk about Fig but something is def wrong with the Ball because he always answers on the first ring when I call  him.” Him canonically forgetting that he has a name other than The Ball (that’s the name in his phone, obv). And, the coup de grace, him investigating RIz’s office, but only for signs of his name. Him trying to Investigate like Riz, rolling a nat 1, and literally eating glass (“I thought I could taste fingerprints!”). 

“Coffee’s ordered, is the Ball dead?”

Adaine as everyone is clowning on Fabian for possibly making out with the Hangman: The Hangman is much more human than my bitch sister. 

Nightmare Riz, who they still think is actual Riz at this point, pops out of the mirror and Fabian and Adaine’s reactions respectively are, “You can’t do these things!” and, “It’s like 60% of our grade.”

The idea of Gorgug going from a terrified scream into a barbarian rage scream is very funny. Where are the animatics people?

Oh, speaking of people, Fantasy High was trending on tumblr the morning after this stream. Nice job, guys! 

The talk that Gorgug’s parents give him about all dreams being significant is something I always say in movies/books/shows like this. You have protagonists who *know* they live in a magic world and they have weird dreams and it’s not until 2/3rds of the way into the story that they’re like, “Wait. My dreams…mean something?” Bitch, what?

Gorgug’s initial coffee order is Hot Chocolate with a shot of decaf.

Everyone is very chill with Tracker coming onto the quest. Adaine just has one rule: No sex in the tent while they’re also in the tent. Kristen asks like she’s offended Adaine would feel the need to say that but like…come on. 

At first, I thought the invisibility in the photo was similar to the non-Adaine bad kids not being able to see Nightmare Riz until she described him but they still couldn’t see the woman in the photo after Sklonda described her so not sure what was going on with the mirror. 

I went back to the episode where Riz finds the photo of his dad (First Kisses and Last Words at around 1 hour, 27 mins in) and in that photo it’s of his dad and his mom. So either (1) it’s a different photo, (2) Brennan forgot/retconned something, or (3) something seriously screwy is going on. I will also note two observations here. Sklonda mentioned that Kalina doesn’t drink but was holding up her hand in a toast like she was drinking in the photo. That seems too specific a detail to not mean anything. And the second thing is, last ep, we did learn about a servant of the Nightmare King called the Shadow Cat and Kalina (if that is her real name) is a tabaxi so that’s something to think about. 

With all the complicated coffee orders flying around, Adaine just changes hers to a black coffee to try and make Gilear’s life a little easier (her original order was a Peppermint Mocha–sans the threat of violence to Gilear Fabian was offering). I do really love that Adaine seems genuinely concerned about the guy. SOMEONE should be. And it’s consistent with her characterization of just being generally well mannered and empathetic. 

Kristen getting the banishment on Nightmare Riz is something she did after Ally asked for it and Brennan was like, “lol, sure on a 19 or 20.” Boom. Rolled a 19. Just like in the prom fight. So the lesson here folks is don’t give your players a conditional yes and then expect the dice to bail you out. 

Kristen’s existential crisis is so crazy to me because she’s having, like, a prototypical Crisis of Faith™ (and pretty realistically) except, unlike in real life, she has certain knowledge about the existence of gods, life after death, and the means to communicate with those deities in the present day like…I feel like you’re crisis-ing wrong, girl. She’s crisis-ing like she just deconverted from Christianity when I feel like what actually happened is closer to, like, quitting a sorority or realizing you hate your major or changing political parties.  

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents homestuck helioism again

Ragh had a dream matching up with Gorgug’s (but he didn’t realize it was Gorgug in his dream) which means something and I’m sure we’ll figure out what soon enough. 

The Fabian eating glass scene is another one where you truly need to see it to understand how great it is. Lou is equally game to have Fabian be the coolest person who ever lived or a huge baby and Fabian running away crying because he has glass shards in his tongue is incredible. Hilariously, he runs into Ragh in the food court who has also eaten glass in the past (“Glass is literally invisible.”) and they bro bond over it so hard (“That’s my boy!”) that Tracker and Kristen are like…are they a thing?

The other crazy scene is the gang passing around the phone trying to convince the hotel receptionist to give them info about Fig. Kristen comes up with the name Teddy Guyger (and Zac and I at the same time are like, “Did you get the name Teddy because you have a teddy bear in your inventory rn?”). Fabian tries to drop his dad’s name. Their first move for some reason isn’t to give the phone to Gorgug who is also a part of the band. Adaine just hangs up the phone like Peppa Pig. Exquisite comic timing. 

“I cast bane on Gilear.”

I love the running joke of Adaine having visions throughout the day of her friends in the process of doing dumb BS.

Nightmare Riz going after Fabian’s good eye was big gross. Thanks Brennan, I hate it.  

I wonder if what’s going on with Fig is completely different than what’s going on with Riz. Just because they’re gone for the same reason irl, doesn’t mean they’re gone for the same reason in game. Nightmare Fig could be a fun fight though.

As someone whose fave thing in D&D is not combat, I thought the fight in this episode was great. Interesting concept, good chance for in-character reactions, not too long . 

Ragh upon meeting Tracker: Check it out: I’m gay. (Tracker: Tight.)

Fabian, who has known Cathilda his entire life: Do maids dream?

In this ep, Kristen and Adaine rolled 2 nat 20s each (Kristen rolled one for initiative also but it was lowered by her modifier), and Gorgug and Fabian each rolled 1. Fabian also rolled a nat 1 (which, again, led to him Eating Glass).  

[twilightvolt]

I kinda was saving this for when i had the time to type everything out in one go, so let’s just get this over with before Smash drags me back into the depths of hell. XD

So, like, things happened back in 2017. a lot of things. graduated highschool, felt the winds of freedom as i stepped into the world of adulting and.....fell into a deep abyss of crippling depression as my life took a rather....wild turn to say the least. these feelings would linger and continue to haunt me throughout the majority of 2018. if you’d like to hear them or just need a refresher, my 2017 summary WITH that in depth description is on my DA that i no longer use cuz all i can think of when i go there is that year as a whole.

That’s not to say the year was cruddy, though. it really looked up by the end and it’s been one of the better years of my life as an artist. i’m about to go into that, so sit tight if you wanna actually read everything.

January: Arcus ~Collab with KLou

Things got heated at grandma’s after the holidays and we left in a huff cuz yeah, big fight the night before. it wasn’t something i ever wanna remember, but i gotta acknowledge it happened. thus began the struggles of living life as a nomad basically. From this point on until May, i won’t say much about our situation cuz honestly, time grinded to a halt after hotel life began.

February: Let’s Save the World

Believe it or not, this was a mobile drawing. i still didn’t have my tablet or my computer, so i tried using my phone for awhile. this was, of course, after i got Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory for PS4, so this right here was my Dracomon babu Takumi, named after the former wearer of the goggles i equipped to him.

March: Let’s Kick It!

A brief moment of light as i fINALLY GOT MY TABLET BACK ONLINE! i felt like things were going to be different, we’d finally get somewhere and i felt like i could do anything again! this drawing, while super simple since it was just me around most of my current OCs at the time, was meant to represent me being back in business after around 4 or 5 months of being restricted to traditional work, a medium i, at the time, didn’t have much development in. (although, those months sure did help me learn how to draw that way in more than just sketching. so i’m actually kinda grateful i was stripped of the tools that i realize i may or may not have taken for granted.)

April: Spyro the Dragon

The Reignited Trilogy was announced and that’s why i drew that cuz literally everyone was doing Spyro fanart. i remember also doing a bunch of little doodles of other people’s characters in this same coloring style since some of the drawings i did before like the mobile drawing and my traditional work gave me inspiration on how to go about doing this new watercolor/marker like style that i started to experiment with throughout 2016 and ‘17.

May: Memories in Pieces

Remember how i said time grinded to a halt after hotel life began? yeah, this is where it reeeeaaally started to effect me. the days dragged on and blended together, we STILL could secure a home to house all of us and it just felt like my life was just....over. like, all the important stuff happened and now my story’s just done. it didn’t help that memories from the year before decided to come back and hang over me like an undying demon cloud. my anxiety and depression couldn’t have been higher. and yet i still managed to wake up. in fact, i woke up bright and early every day somehow. it felt like there wasn’t anything to believe in and yet....i still had hope that we could get through this. i knew deep down we weren’t gonna be completely out of luck.....but i still hurt at the same time.

I never uploaded this drawing anywhere, but this was, to put it simply, partly a new direction for a future project but also a vent art of sorts, representing the negative thoughts and regrets that never seemed to leave me alone no matter how much time has passed.

June: Digimon Atlas Adventures Ultima Vocal Collection

My second commission ever made since i opened that month. it was also the first time i really cel shaded along with made a logo since the year before. this day marked the turning point along with the end of my depression for the most part as the parents finally gave up and took...some of us down to Florida. a couple of siblings had jobs to keep up with, so they had to stay back in NY with.....eghh....grandma. to this day, i’m still hearing stories even if some of them eventually found their own place. i swear, the more i hear about what’s going on, the less i wanna go back to NY. >_>’

July: Drake ~Art Fight 2018

Oh yeah, we moved down to FL, but we were still in hotels IN FL, so there was change, but still pretty similar circumstances. we quickly found a place at some point, though. a cozy apartment complex that i’m happy to live in.

This is when Art Fight began....or rather when it was supposed to begin cuz they had technical difficulties for the first week or so. the day i revamped Drake for it was like i was saying hi to an old friend after parting ways years prior. it was a really fun experience that i’d gladly partake in again next year if i’ve got the time.

August: Gathers Under Night...

A very ambitious looking piece i did as an attack against a friend during Art Fight. it was my favorite attack i ever did and could quite easily be my favorite drawing from this year. after leaving hotel life behind me, i rarely, if ever, had war flashbacks or anxiety over the past. i felt like my life was finally getting somewhere again. for real this time. and that it did, thankfully.

September: Lost in Thought

A gift i made for a longtime friend and art senpai to try and cheer them up. i still look back at this and think “yeah....this is the style i’ve been longing to emulate. and i’ve finally achieved it.” granted, it took a lot from Kingdom Hearts II’s title screen, but where do you think i got my love of watercolor from?

At this point, i started to become a new person. i mean i already was considering the summer also involved me trying to become a little less total weeb at least in terms of music taste and also leaving my hoodie lifestyle for a good few months, but yeah. in fact, i think this was the month i buzzed off all my emo hair and really ended up resembling how i looked like back when i was little, anime cowlick and all.

October: The Lethal Protector

Oh yeah, Venom happened. i should’ve disliked that movie with all it’s flaws and unused potential, but instead i wholeheartedly stan it and i luv the portrayal of Eddie and Venom to the point where i forgive where it went wrong.

Yeah, i completely moved on from everything that tied me down at this point. i yeeted the past into the stratosphere and focused solely on what i wanted to do now. what my next move was. and i can thank these two losers for helping me stay focused on my craft. i also kept branching outside of Digimon. i wanted to be more than what i used to be.

November: My Favorite Ninja Frog

Didn’t do much this month, so all i had was a doodle of my starter partner for Pokemon Y. i never evolved him past Frogadier cuz i preferred him over Greninja. it was the tongue scarf, dude.

Why? ehh, it was most likely Warframe. i got into that game at some point cuz a friend persuaded me to do it. i don’t regret anything. i luv this game when i’m playing with friends.

December: Draw Your Roster Ultimate: The Winds of Reunion + Holiday Arcus

The Winds of Reunion cuz Wind Waker and the fact that everyone including Wolf, Young Link and even Pichu returned to Smash Bros. when Ultimate happened. this game cured my depression, cleared my skin and reignited my love for Starfox oddly enough since Starfox Zero AKA 64 with a new coat of paint and motion controls that weren’t as bad as you think didn’t exactly do it for me. i haven’t been so content with the way things are in a long time and i’m happy i finally got my hands on this treasure of a game. now, to wait for Kingdom Hearts III. ;w;

And now we finally get to the end of this long as heck recap. thank god Tumblr gives you unlimited characters, amirite? XD

Overall, this was a year of recovery and rebirth. it was a long and rough winding road, but in the end i think i’ve healed enough to finally get on with my life.

I’m not the same kid i used to be when i graduated highschool, and i’m definitely not the same kid i was when i was first starting out as an artist. my journey has been full of ups, downs and all arounds and it was all a much needed learning experience. even if i felt like i was suffering at times.

My future is mine to decide, and i’m not letting anything stand in my way again.

For the future i want to believe in.

[cafeacademia]

Hiii. Ok idk how I wasn’t following the other blog already.

But

autumn - what’s your favorite part of the spooky season?

ghost - do you have any paranormal experiences?

nighttime - favorite halloween movie?

Thank you Grecy 🥰 literally the only reason for that other blog was bc when I made my tumblr about 434342354241 years ago, I didn't realise that you couldn't reply from a sideblog so now my "main" is just a reply blog/shit post blog for all of my dark academia goblin hoarding tendencies 😂 Anyway, thank you for sending these in!!

Autumn - what’s your favorite part of the spooky season? Is everything a good answer?? Lmao no I'll answer properly - decorating for the season is a definite favourite. Also it's rainy season where I live, like it rains the rest of the year too but a LOT in autumn so the rain and the temperature drop and the changing leaves are a big thing for me. It's also the time of year where I can get out my soup machine, I make pies constantly and feel like I can be a human again after summer 😂 I hate summer with my entire being

Nighttime - favorite halloween movie? Oooh I'm not a fan of horror movies, so I usually reach for the old school disney movies - Halloween Town is perfection. I'm also a fan of watching Harry Potter in the autumn, especially the third one because there are so many autumnal vibes.

Ooooh (not so) spooky ghost stories below!! Aka me just rambling about really dumb experiences I've had that can probably be explained easily.

Ghost - do you have any paranormal experiences? Ooh I definitely have a few weird stories from when I was younger, the only one from recent years was very weird but I'll share. In my old house that I lived in England before I moved to mainland Europe, it was a 70s build I think that was one in one of those classic townhouse rows in an industrial city - it was a super shitty neighbourhood but the house was nice. Anyway, apparently our landlord at the time had inherited this house from his mother who had passed away in the house and while we lived there for months on end, I had this super weird thing happening at least once a week, if not more. But in our bedroom, I would wake up in the middle of the night to this weird glow at the side of my bedroom, like white light glow. Now this was weird because: 1. I had blackout curtains and blinds on my window, so no light was getting in 2. It always happened in the middle of the night when the street lights were off 3. The light was white and it was physically in my bedroom, not a light that would come in like a passing car 4. no electronics were charging or glowing over on that side of the room because there were no outlets near there I swear I SWEAR on a few occasions in my sleep haze that I saw a woman in that light but idk. I also have had a history with sleep paralysis and nightmares that merge with real life so you can't tell real from imaginary which I was on and off going through at the time so the chances that my brain did that is pretty big but?? Who knows. Other people in my family have had absolutely fucking bone chilling stories and mine is of a disembodied woman's face floating in a white light at night lmao

Another "encounter" I had which could totally have an explanation was when I visited the tunnels below Edinburgh in Scotland. They were used by thieves and killers as well as the poor in the past. There's a witches coven down there now which is allowed by the association that runs the tourist visits and stuff. But I went down into those tunnels and there's tons of stories of them being haunted. I took a photo in a pitch black room, no windows, no light source, no one using flash and when I looked back at the photo there was this lovely little puff of white spooky smoke in the middle of the room. Oh - just to mention, the witches coven had put a ward on that room because of a demonic power and when I mentioned it later, they were like "yeah, that's the demon x" like BRO EXCUSE ME?? Idk if I believe in ghosts, but it's fun to think they might exist. I have no way of proving either way so I just sit on the fence with that one lmao.

[forbiddenrituals]

Chipotle Etiquette

Hello everyone, 

This has been a long time coming. I am a former chipot-hole employee and I thought I would share some basic human decency rules you should take with you whenever you decide to destroy your butthole.

If it’s too long just read the bold/italics please

1. It’s Extra 

Yes, most people who eat Chipotle know the drill whenever they decide to get Guacamole. The dead eyed worker mentions that it’s extra, your correct response should be “Yes that’s fine” or “Sure!” or any other affirmation that yes you want the magic green pulp. Do not say “I know it’s extra,” do NOT interrupt them halfway through the question and don’t throw it at them before they even ask, just fuckin’ don’t you guys. It is MANDATORY that they ask you, they can’t get out of it, I’m sure they hear those words crooned to them by the bastard demon that haunts them in the wee hours of night as they experience sleep paralysis. I know most of the time you’re trying to be helpful but you want to be helpful? Just confirm yes, you want the emerald goop.

2. Use your eyeballs

When you enter the establishment your first instinct should be to check for any out of the ordinary signs. Usually they’re almost always displayed on the menu, the front doors or the sneeze guard. It’s easy to disregard, especially if you have a routine, I’ve done it too and been rightly embarrassed over it. Some southern Californians might remember but for a while we had been out of Carnitas, for WEEKS. At LEAST once a day I got someone who would ask for it and at one point I got so fed up I silently put my finger on the sign we had on the sneeze guard and slid it over. Just… pay attention. 

3. Order Clearly

90% of the time you order Chipotle, you get the same thing almost every time, you go on autopilot when you order. It happens. But one of the biggest grievances we would get is a customer screaming because we put something on their order that “I SPECIFICALLY SAID NOT TO PUT ON THERE!!” You want to know how this happens kids??? It goes like this: 

“Can I get mild salsa, no cheese, corn, sour cream, lettuce.”

Why would you say no cheese Bethany? Why?? We don’t put ANYTHING on the order until you name it, Jimothy. It’s loud in here Carol and you fucking mumbled we couldn’t hear you say the “no” in “no cheese”. I ask you Chadsworth why tHE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY ‘NO SOUR CREAM’!? SHIT JIMANTHA YOU CAUGHT ME I WAS GOING TO POUR A METRIC FUCKTON OF SOUR CREAM ON YOUR BURRITO BOWL WITH EXTRA PINTO JUICE IF YOU DIDN’T SPECIFICALLY ASK ME NOT TO-

You get the point.

Just…fuckin. . say what you DO want on your food, not what you don’t. It makes it easier for everyone. 

4. Prepare for wait times

You see that chucklefuck over there? His name is Brad and he is a cunt. Brad is the captain of the football team and he wants a fat ass burrito but nah bro it isn’t enough he needs to have a Quesarito, melted cheese on the tortilla before you actually build it. But shit dude he also needs EXTRA RICE AND STEAK because protein BRAH gotta be built like a shitbrickhouse to win the championship. But fuck man, theyre out of steak and it takes a hot minute for the cheese to melt. The grill person says its going to take 10-15 minutes for new steak and rice to come out. This is a fairly popular establishment!! Running out of food is fairly common. But Brad is an asshole and proceeds to make a scene that he has to wait for his precious quesarito and the steak and rice with NO cilantro.

Basically, if your order is intricate or you happen to come in while they’re scrambling to replenish just show some patience for the love of god.

5. Baby Chips

Listen, to all my calorie counting neurotic monsters out there, if you order the kids chips and you’re not getting a kids meal because “It has less calories” just… don’t get the damn chips. No calories is better than some calories right?? Just don’t. Do you know how annoying filling those little brown bags are? Do you know how horrible it feels to have a little one with their quesadilla meal not get their bag of chips?? Either go big or go home. 

6. Salsa Terminology

It is mild, medium or hot salsa. That’s literally all there is too it. The amount of people (every single one has been a white person the near year I worked there) who would come in and butcher Salsa Roh-hah or Salsa Ver-dee or pico day gall-oh still takes a piece of my soul to this day. We SPECIFICALLY asked you MILD, MEDIUM or HOT salsa just uSE THE WORDS WE PROVIDE FOR YOU. 

7. Water Cups

Listen up you little shits, if you’re going to use water cups to get free soda at least toss some money in the tip jars you cheap fucks. 

8. Napkins

WHY DO PEOPLE TAKE WHOLE PACKAGE’S WORTH OF NAPKINS TO YOUR TABLES!!??? WHY?! IT IS A WASTE OF NAPKINS AND YOU DON’T EVEN TAKE THEM WITH YOU?! MOTHERFU-

9. Soda machine/utensil area

Listen I understand its embarrassing when you accidentally spill your drink or make a mess. I get it. The very LEAST you can do is alert the staff to the mess made. Now if you’re like me you won’t alert the staff because I’ll be too busy scrambling to clean it myself, but do not just walk away. do NOT walk away from me timmy I fucking SAW you dump your soda. If you don’t want to clean it at LEAST TELL SOMEONE. Don’t leave utensils you accidentally pulled out all over the place and floor either or napkins strewn all over the place you filthy animals.

10. Extra Guac or Meat

You will pay extra! You will NEED TO PAY EXTRA. Do not WHEEDLE with the workers asking for just ‘a little more’ steak or whatever the hell else and then GET MAD WHEN THEY CHARGE YOU EXTRA. Do you know how much one serving of meat is supposed to be? 4 ounces. That’s right Chadley, the little side cups? Those bitty baby side cups? That’s 4 ounces. I guarantee NO chipotle gives you that amount because come on now? Really? You consistently get above the required amount of meat so be thankful you ungracious fuck. Also it puts the worker in an awkward position and some are less firm then others and if you’re trying to exploit that just get. out. 

11. Loopholes

Let me tell you about this customer. He was actually a really nice guy, but his orders always sucked. Do you want to know why? He would order a chicken or steak burrito. He paid for a single burrito but he would ask for:

6 scoops of rice, 6 scoops of beans, regular everything else.

We didn’t charge extra for the rice or beans, he knew that. He KNEW. Watched with satisfaction as we tried to fold, that’s right, FOLD this monstrous burrito for him only to dump it into a bowl because the tortillas kept tearing. Not only was it annoying, but half the time he would clear us out of rice and beans, thus making the people behind him wait even LONGER for food. (eventually my General manager told him we wouldn’t do it for him anymore)

Just don’t. I beg of you. Make your own bucket of rice and beans at home. 

12. Sneeze Guard

DO NOT! STICK YOUR HAND!!! OVER THE SNEEZEGUARD!!!!

WHY KAREN?! WHY?!

WE WORK HERE BRENDATHEN WE KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE MILD SALSA!! WE KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE STEAK. THERE IS A SNEEZE GUARD FOR A REASON!!! STOP TRYING TO FINGERFUCK THE BARBACOA CHERYL I DONT CARE HOW TEMPTING IT LOOKS!!!!

13. Cut them a Break

In conclusion this is just the usual spiel of be respectful, be patient, and don’t throw a hissyfit. If you see someone else being a jerk, say something, or if you hate confrontation throw a few bucks in the tip jar or compliment the staff at least it’s a lot of work and they don’t need you being a dick. 

Thanks for reading and happy eating!!

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Wynonna Earp 3x02 "When You Call My Name" Review

Hello, a crestfallen Earper here *waves sadly*. Not really sure how to start — I’ve rewritten this review three times — so here goes my Wynonna Earp episode 3x02 “When You Call My Name” review, accompanied by the five stages of grief.

“Geez, We’re having a day” - Wynonna Earp

We pick up right where we left off at the end of the Season 3 premiere last week, with Wynonna and Waverly in a bad car accident that was apparently a hunting tactic of a gnarly people eating, voice stealing demon that lives in a cabin in the woods (cliche much, demon?). Wynonna awakes literally halfway down the side of a cliff...how she got there still puzzles me, but that is the least concern I had watching this episode.

She is still in her fancy “frock” (thanks for the colorful word, Mama Earp) from her run in with the vampires last episode. She is banged up and literally freezing, realizing her body is going into shock only after she recognizes she’s having a full on conversation with her mom on the side of a cliff, when she knows her mom is actually a patient in a nearby mental institution.  

It was actually such a great way to get to know “Mama” Earp, through Wynonna’s mind's eye, making quite the juxtaposition from the slightly raving Mama we met in the season premiere.  

Illusion!Mama Earp gives Wynonna a pep talk to climb to safety, but in doing so she has to leave Peacemaker down on the side of the cliff...which poses problems later. And after she's back on solid ground she grabs her coat and a swig of whiskey from the crashed truck and is off to save her sister, demons be danged!

“Secrets suck, I hate them!” - Jeremy Chetri

Over at Black Badge, the day just keeps getting worse. Nicole, of course, wasn’t convinced by the demon impersonating a chill Waverly. Jeremy confirms what killed all the people at the bar from the previous episode — it was a demon that can apparently apparate from one victim to another so quickly it made the mass murder seem like it happened at once. And they think he’s been doing it as a blood sacrifice to Bulshar for years and years, how reassuring! *insert nervous laughter*

The team knows they need to stop this demon fast, but first they gotta get the team together. Jeremy and Dolls obviously have a few secrets going on between them but Dolls keeps giving Jeremy the “don’t you dare” look. Upon my rewatch of this episode, I realized I should’ve felt more primed for the inevitable setup of what happens to Dolls in the last five minutes, I was but a sweet summer child when I was watching live and did not look for the blatant clues laid out before me.

“Craft night is Thursdays.” - Doc Holliday

Dolls goes to collect Doc so the team can assemble. Doc is downright FROSTY to Dolls and is missing that trademark sarcasm and humor that makes him so delightful. He is sad about Baby Alice, but more so his problem is that he died back in that alternate timeline in Season 2 when Dolls shot him. And he went to hell.

For a man that’s lived 150 years, most of those with his “curse” of immortality, that’s gotta be a very new and scary feeling, knowing you can die and that you went to hell. He seems to think he can’t be redeemed from that fate, and I hope he realizes that’s not true. “You and I are destined for the dark,” he tells Dolls, anger and anguish flashing in his wild eyes.

Dolls does not accept this gloomy fate, stating, “We’re not the same, I don’t need a threat of damnation to fight for the right side.” Ouch, what a burn. I hope Doc remembers Dolls’ words for the rest of his life. Doc has a chance to really step up his role in the team after this episode, I hope he rises out of his depression spiral and to the occasion of being a better team player.

Doc catches Jeremy looking for something in the basement of the bar and Jeremy alludes to Doc that there is definitely a problem with Dolls’ drugs...But before Doc can get too heated Nicole texts hims stating she’s found the Earp truck, prompting Doc to tell Jeremy, “Get Dolls, we’re gonna need him. Don’t tell him I said that.”

I am SOOO sad that we won’t have the mutual grumpy bro frenemies relationship of Doc and Dolls after this episode. It adds so much life and one liners to this wild show.

“I swear on my favorite boy band” - Wynonna Earp

Poor Waverly is still strung up like a slain rabbit in the demons cabin, with no voice to cry for help, silently hoping Wynonna and the team come for her. The demon booby trapped his cabin, as a poor lost hunter finds out the hard way; the demon lures the hunter to his death by doorway garrote, crying for help with Waverly's stolen voice. As only Wynonna could state, “This is some kinda crazy Little Mermaid sh*t” when she arrives at the cabin to save her kid sis. Of course, being sisters makes the whole talking without talking thing pretty easy and Wynonna and Waverly even have a heart to heart about Mama without Waverly using words.

I’d also like to point out the cabin demon saying “The trees are changing, I’m getting lost in my own woods, the animals are leaving,” given that the animals didn’t leave with his demonic presence but are now that Bulshar’s presence is there….CONCERNS me. I have a feeling this seemingly random line is gonna come back to haunt the team and the town pretty soon as was proof of the rock n roll tour bus vampires last episode, Purgatory is about to get a whole lot weirder.

Of course Wynonna is wily and cunning, and bests the demon at his own game by running away and using a tape recorder to make him think she fell in his pit trap, only to kick him in herself (but when she left him he was “mostly” dead since she didn’t use peacemaker to dispatch him, I hope she went back and finished the job) . She is caught in one of his tree snares and strung up to be cut down by a still grumpy Doc and the ever reliable officer Haught.

Wynonna still checking out Doc’s butt while hanging upside down is just another iconic Wynonna moment from this episode. If only they all went back to Black Badge and had drinks with Dolls and Jeremy and it was the end of another crazy demons in town episode….but alas, this is where the episode takes a sudden “wtf” turn and I — and most of us live watchers — were left reeling for hours afterwards.

As Doc and Nicole help Wynonna down we cut to someone watching in the woods. It’s the dreaded demon Bulshar himself and his “bodyguard” demon, looking on as the team runs to free Waverly. Insert Han Solo saying, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Wynonna is gonna need you more than ever” - Deputy Marshall Xavier Dolls

So here we are, friends, the reason I have dragged my feet on this review the last few days. The one thing about these last few scenes is we get to see the beautiful snowy Alberta terrain in all its natural rugged beauty.

Wynonna needs to retrieve Peacemaker, so they are back at the cliff, and Nicole is rapelling down via rope to get grab the weapon (her being the only skilled rope climber out of the current group). Of course Dolls shows up to assist and assess; Nicole is literally tethered to the rope at the mercy of Wynonna and Doc, while Dolls helps Waverly to his car when lo and behold the “apparating” demon appears!

It’s Bulshar’s bodyguard demon from earlier! And he is Nightcrawler-from-X-Men fast. He severs Nicole’s rope; Wynonna saves her by grabbing the rope and holding on for dear life; Doc goes into gunslinger mode; but the demon is too fast for him and he renders Doc unconscious in less than 20 seconds. Dolls sees the mayhem, shoves Waverly in the truck, drinks his “dragon drugs” and goes up against the demon.

As the demon is trying to take out Wynonna he gleefully states “You cannot kill me with mortal weapons” as Dolls shoots at him. Waverly answers Jeremy’s emergency comcall informing her that the drugs he’s been making for Dolls have made him “unstable.” Meanwhile, Nicole begs Wynonna to let go and save herself but she refuses, and Waverly adds just enough strength to pull Nicole to safety.

The demon tells them, “Someone must die here today, the earth lusts for blood.” (YIKE!) Doc comes to and is up on his feet they all have that look like “there’s a good chance we’re all gonna die” but Dolls grabs onto the bodyguard demon and doesn’t let go, his eyes turning yellow and his strength increasing. All of a sudden, flames are shooting out of his mouth, engulfing himself and the demon. The demon is incinerated by Dolls’ dragon flame, and Dolls is left lifeless on the ground.

“No more pain. No more drugs. No more demons.” - Wynonna Earp

Wynonna and the team rush to Dolls’ side, checking his pulse, his breath, for any sign that he’s alive. Even Doc is shaken to his very core when Dolls doesn’t “wake up.” Wynonna and Waverly begin to cry and Wynonna, like many of us, is in disbelief.

“He saved us. He saved me. How is this okay? How is he lying here?” Wynonna, bb, I was asking my TV the same questions. She keeps saying, “Open your eyes,” it’s heart wrenching and honestly confusing because it doesn’t feel like a final death in the moment? I was thinking it was gonna be like Supernatural or The Vampire Diaries where it’s a temporary death that they have to “fix.”

It wasn’t until afterwards when I got online and saw the article from Emily Andras (the showrunner) and once I learned Shamier Anderson was moving onto Hollywood projects that I realized it was final. I was left feeling kinda numb. Like, that’s all we get?

Yes, he did go out a hero saving his friends; yes, he did kill the demon, but in the grand scheme of “leading man exiting series” it didn’t feel grand enough? It was too short. What about tying up loose ends? How did he become a hybrid lizard man? What about his and Wynonna’s will they won’t they relationship? How did he join Black Badge?

I have so many unanswered questions about his character! It just doesn’t feel complete.

I love this show a lot. It’s fun! Daring! It thinks outside the box! BUT I have noticed sometimes plot threads are dropped or aren’t coherent. (Like the Season 2 finale scene between Nicole and Dolls, what even was that for? Will we ever know?!?!) And I for one HATE plot holes or misdirection in TV shows, I feel like they do it for shock or to keep you guessing…but if there isn’t any payoff or it’s done haphazardly it’s not worth my time.

The more I cover TV shows for critical analysis or review platforms like Truth Bee Told, the more annoyed I get with the way some things are written/executed. This wasn’t a terrible job by far. But why couldn’t the whole episode be dedicated to Dolls' story? Having a good moment with each character, a little backstory fleshing out etc. Instead, they give him the last five minutes of the episode to go out in a “blaze of glory” and leave Wynonna wailing in the snow.

I will hold out judging more until I see next week’s episode! Maybe they do some post mortem work on Dolls story that will satisfy me...but I’m actually kinda afraid that’s not going to happen. But until next week I will stop my rambling about it.

Final thoughts

Besides the ending we got some fabulous witty one liners, great physical acting (Melanie gave that charades scene her all and it was amazing!)

I loved learning more about Mama Earp (her name is Michelle, by the way).

We have some things that will probably come back up, like the forest literally changing.

Bulshar is shaping up to be the worst villain Wynonna has had, but he needs to talk soon, I grow tired of these “looks on menacingly” once an episode scenes. I need him to be fleshed out like Bobo (who is still by far my fave baddie to date).

I give this episode 3 ½ out of 5 bees because I’m feeling a little petty but also because I feel this episode wasted too much time setting up what should’ve been the focal point of the episode the sacrifice and death of Dolls. Until next time, Earpers!

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 9/8c on Syfy.

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝.5

[lunarfeat21]

AND I, HAD MADE THIS MISTAKE!!!

This bastard came to haunt me! (Names Purson btw)

Let me tell you about this silent nightmare

This unholy being is... how do I put it... unnervingly silent. He doesn’t talk, but acknowledges with other methods of communications (i.e. shrugs, nods, and hisses as stated in his bio).

Besides being damn silent, Purson is a bit creepy. Here’s a stupid lists:

When nobody is paying attention to their surroundings and their backs turns, he stares at that person. When someone gets the vibes of being watched, turned just to see this black & white with turquoise highlights staring at them intensely. Imagine how uncomfortable that is with that emotionless expression!

Likes to hide out of plain sight, and appears out of nowhere. He’s just... there...

Forgot to mention that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wanted to make the guy angry. For whatever reason, everyone is scare to piss him off, like in middle or high school stereotypically. There is always one quiet kid, which most of the majority don’t know what capabilities they do when the class clown does poke the bear.

And the ppl (including you) had rights to be afraid of this quiet person, he is a demon in secret.

(I don’t even make sense)

The only acceptable option is by singing, and god, let me tell about his singing. Purson literally sounded like one of those big pipe organs you see in huge churches or cathedrals, singing in multiple tones (or voices) for climax purposes (shockers, but will explain later). Also, he had a weird habit singing at night.

First round: If challenged to a sing-off, four different notes (or voices) can be heard all at once from him. During the sing-off, he’s not emotionless either as he expressed happiness as well (along with a disgust look too).

He smiled as he brought out a notepad and pencil to scribbled “not bad, best to get out before it happens again.”

Second round: now there’s eight notes and his eye is turned red with a slit pupil.

Same applies to the first feat, except his behavior changes a little. He’s smile turns in a grin, the sadist kind as he scribbled “Another chance bud, you and your gf will never be heard like the rest... forever!”

Third (final) phase: he revealed himself as a winged demon with a playful nature, but notes reduced back to four.

Enough of this, you won and preceded to the next week.

However if you fail, blue balled for you. (Wanna retry bro?)

He’s really not that evil (sometimes), he could be seen in odd places:

A donut shop

Flea market

Cemetery

Airport

Gardening center

A church (nobody wonders why he chose a church of all places, but left him be).

Btw his only reason to be in a church is just to steal the doves, and he’s good at it too just to confuse the service. Hooligan.

Also I like to imagine this song is his voice for some reason (I hated myself for being complicated).

Part 2

Edit: forgot to mention that he is gay (bf’s name is Enrique)

Dear GOD!!

I HAD THIS STUPID COMPARISON BETWEEN THESE PEEPS!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

[one-more-miracle-gatsby]

I just finished Impyrium by Henry H Neff and I’m gonna talk about it because I have a lot of feelings so spoiler warning

-I completely forgot the demon’s conditions for the Red Winter Treaty so I saw the Prusian Sea on the map and I was like “huh I wonder what the crafty bastard did to get an ocean named after him” and then I got to the line about underwater demon kingdoms and I was like THAT’S RIGHT THEY BANISHED HIM TO THE SEA and of course he still managed to go make himself a successful kingdom like ffs Prusias just enjoy retirement.

-Sigga Fenn is my new favorite character. What a bro. I mean yeah she played Hob like a panther stalking a rabbit and absolutely would have killed him in an instant and we don’t still know what her exact orders are but there are times when she does seem to be as sincere and friendly as she can professionally be and like honestly it’s nice to have such a chill agent. Disguising herself as the old lady was hilarious like that was so unnecessary Sigga you didn’t have to steal her dessert

-I love the dynamics between the triplets. Isabel is great.

-homunculus breeding is fascinating oh my god

-”Hazel saw that Harkün had also drawn a dagger with a wavy black blade” TFW you’re such a die-hard Cooper fan you can recognize his weapon 3000 years later

-speaking of the devil, I hope that Mystic with mismatched eyes was a descendant of who I think she was because please imagine Hazel Cooper’s reaction to finding her greatx3k granddaughter gambling with a domovoi

-Like. I know Prime is not going to turn out to be Cooper but there’s a tiny part of my sappy fangirl heart going, “if anyone were to volunteer themselves to be turned into a statue for all eternity to protect Rowan it would probably be him”

-Hob’s sass is beautiful can he give me lessons

-THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SHROPES COOKING AT ROWAN

-I love the quotes at the start of the chapters, not only did they bring more meaning to the chapters but they also provided some context and backstory, like how old David lived to be.

-Honestly Hazel’s mentality was so unapologetically realistic like she was so innocent and oblivious but then she started learning things and I love her revelations that she can take control of her own life. But like she was still allowed to be delicate and cry and sleep with a stuffed giraffe and it wasn’t depicted as weakness.

-I will be forever be impressed at the all the political webs Henry weaves

-Montague’s character development

-I wonder what Ember really did with Mina like did he really eat her or is she chillin in his mouth under the sea

-The two perspectives were so great and it was awesome because you can’t trust the Fellowship and you can’t trust the royals, you can only trust that the main characters themselves will see the faults of their respective sides and make the right decisions. I love how they opened each other’s eyes to new things.

-It’s so cool because The Tapestry was so heavily based in Irish mythology and now Impyrium is based in Tapestry mythology like the original series became the mythology of the new series, which means that our world is part of that mythology. I remember Henry saying something about how The Tapestry was partially a story about human perseverance and that really spoke to me in some parts of this book too. That ancient, scratched-up, barely-working Disney film was so unsettling but so wonderful. Burke’s line about “would you believe we lowly little humans once walked on the moon?” The part where the Fellowship is explaining about how humans once built flying ships and split matter to its smallest components without any magic, just with the sheer power of their minds. It’s inspiring. And it was interesting seeing that different perspective of the destruction of the Book of Thoth, like we were just starting to explore the heavens themselves and then that technology was taken away from us. But like it said, at least we’re still walking on the Earth. It’s surreal reading this and realizing that in this book we are the ancient civilizations. Much of our history is either not known at all or considered a nonsensical fairy tale. But Disney films and the Brothers Grimm tales still exist. Stories persevere, no matter how rare or expensive or illegal they may become. Getting even more meta, it’s just like the stories of the original series becoming the mythology of this one. Stories stick around, no matter how much they may change, and apparently the same applies to humanity.

-I would love to talk to someone who read Impyrium without reading The Tapestry first and find out what that realization was like, when it suddenly dawned on them that this had once been our world.

-It’s also really interesting and kind of funny seeing the empress and the princesses have the whole week-long pilgrimage and put themselves through such physical and mental duress to go worship this mysterious scary god-king from another world when those of us who have read The Tapestry know that this all-powerful warrior is the same guy who got repeatedly bossed around by a talking goose and once used magic to leap 20 feet in the air because he got startled by a robot centipede. The Hound of Rowan, everybody. One thing I always admired about Max’s character was that no matter how much he grew and changed the core of his personality, his kindness and his humor, stayed the same (and even when he went full supernova god in the Workshop he was still able to keep from destroying everybody because of the love he felt for his friends). And I’m glad that even just from that little glimpse we got of him we can see that he still holds that same personality, that he was so eager to help this teenage girl that he forgot about the FATAL WOUND that would literally kill him if he went through the gate like Max never change

-I was not expecting this story to give me so many Max feels like I thought I was over the end of The Red Winter but apparently not. I actually laughed when they brought out the lyrmrills as offerings because it was so beautifully nostalgic and sentimental but also like, what else would it be? The man loves his lymrills.

-Speaking of Max getting bossed around by Hannah I seem to remember her saying she was immortal at the end of The Red Winter so are she and her goslings still wandering around the Direwoods oh god

-Again it must be such a different experience reading this without the context of the first series because that whole Direwoods field trip was kind of a punch in the gut. I remember in The Hound of Rowan reading about the abandoned charges wandering the Sanctuary and forgetting that humans ever cared for them and I thought that was so sad and now the entire Sanctuary is like that. The Sanctuary was such a beacon of hope and peace and now it’s just a creepy haunted forest where little rich kids are afraid to get their feet dirty. Who knows how long selkies live, that could have been Frigga or Helga in the lagoon being so glad to have some humans to play with again. And the ruins of the Warming Lodge and the dvergar brother’s forge. Dude that one classroom had Nile Croakers and domovoi and stuff in cages and the selkies were described as “water beasts” like that was so sad it feels so wrong and it’s such a good representation of how the culture has changed

-Like honestly it’s just such a message about the nature of history. It reminds me of Church’s monologue from the end of season 13 of Red vs Blue, where he talked about the hero never getting to know if his sacrifice was worth it. Max didn’t know what became of his friends or the world he left behind presumably until David’s death (and don’t think I don’t have a fanfic idea about that), and then Max and David and everyone presumably don’t really know what became of their world 3000 years later, like they know the gate and the dragon exist and they know about the Faeregines coming on pilgrimage every few years, but I guess they probably don’t know much beyond that. They never get to see the long-lasting effects of their efforts, and they don’t get to know the perspectives with which people view them and the legends they’ve become. They didn’t want Rowan to become a place for snobby elites, and they didn’t want nonmagical people to be discriminated against, but they can’t do anything about it. Because we can act to change our history, but in the long run we never know how our stories will end up being told. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take action to better our world for the present and the foreseeable future.

-I love all the subtle parallels, intentional or not, between this story and The Tapestry. Kids sneaking out at night for a sleepover on a ship, kids sneaking out for a duel. A man losing his face. Workshop specimens getting stolen. Being betrayed by a friend (honestly, I didn’t suspect Viktor at all until he suggested that they collect firewood and then my mind immediately went to Rolf and Connor for some reason even though there was no real connection). The illustration of Hob outside Hazel’s tent with the House Blade next to the fire reminded me so much of Cooper sneaking into Max’s tent with the poisoned Atropos blade, and it was Scathach the shadow who saved Max and Sigga the shadow who saved Hazel and Hob. History repeats itself. No matter how much some things change, some things still repeat.

-Olly was such a great character, like he had flaws but he acknowledged and apologized for them and he was so great. Sniff.

-Seriously Sigga is that teacher who’s like “I know you’re going though a lot so I’m going to conveniently forget to close the submission box until a while after the due date so I won’t know if you turned the homework in late but if I do catch you turning it in late I gotta fail you sorry”

-Also can we talk about the fact that Ember apparently fell in love with Astaroth’s hell dragon that he conjured from dead people like oh my god Ember plz you guys almost killed each other

-I feel like remember Henry saying something about us eventually getting to hear more about the grymholch from Prusias’s arena and the world it was from and I hope that happens

[gaast]

my OCs: a primer

characters whose names are in bold are my bf’s

Shade: a gay ghost boy who’s been dead for over 200 years. haunts a mansion with Ein, a cute slimeboy. both are sex workers. Shade constantly changes his hair color, floats everywhere, never sleeps, constantly makes bad jokes, and is more sweet than he lets on.

Ovid: an anthro bellwether sheepie who is very proud of his wool. lives on a farm with his boyfriends, Buck and Nega. loves to read.

Buck: an anthro deer who used to be a slut who wandered everywhere who has since settled down on a farm with his boyfriends, Ovid and Nega. used to be terrified of humans but is overcoming his fear.

Raph: a professional model and former pro baseball player and massage therapist. a rowdy blond boy full of anxiety and pouts. has had a rough life, but he’s now happily married to his buff husband Cain.

Minor: a huge buff satyr-like goat demon with four arms. hates wearing shirts. has been alive for over 500 years. obsessed with music and a master musician, he performs solo as Slage Wave and (usually on guitar) in a band, Lesser Divinities, with Admin, Com, and Minami. a major slut, if he’s not making music he’s hooking up with someone or with his husband Ceres or with Ceres and a hookup at the same time or--

Admin: a garm who used to believe they were a prisoner of fate and needed to by a manipulative bastard and kill people to bring about Ragnarok or something, but has since reformed. can shapeshift into a garm or a humanoid form but now only stays humanoid (will sometimes shift their head). is the drummer of Lesser Divinities. a very anxious pacifist who’s learning about humans. loves punk rock. runs the “store” with bandmate and roommate Minami. in a queerplatonic relationship with her and her girlfriend Ulda.

Bull: queer ace stoner fashion designer who lives with his boyfriends, Com and Mint. grows the weed he smokes, also loves acid, E, and shrooms. has sworn off hard drugs. very well-known designer, most of the money he makes he donates to local charities and shelters for queer kids. anxious.

Com: a cute trans demon who loves bells and music. plays keyboards solo as Strange Cats and in Lesser Divinities. loves sports, weed, sports video games, cars--honestly, he’s a straight boy. but he’s also super gay. lives with his boyfriends Bull and Mint. a memer loser.

Deman: a demon who reaps souls. super quiet, though getting better. you can use “he,” “she,” or “they” for her, and you can even change what you call him mid-sentence. obsessed with cigarettes and smoking them. also obsessed with Vocaloid.

Gabe: a tall demon with long black hair who loves wearing nice suits. she’s a union lawyer, and a fearsome one. has two moms. is super gay and also happily married to her husband, who she bullies mercilessly, Lux. except she and he both say he’s her wife. terrifying if you cross her, a jokester if you don’t. an empath.

Rave: a very unstable young demon. his arms and thighs are covered in self-harm scars (but he hasn’t relapsed in a long while!). a sex worker, bartender, and worker-owner at local sex dungeon co-op Dis. dealing with a lot of trauma. a vegan and an anarchist. violent, he frequently kills rich people. starting to work on himself and slooooooooowly starting to get better. lives with Tear, for whom he’d gladly die.

Sleet (sleetd): a computer daemon given form. their development was never completed, so they’re a glitchy mess

Adze: a computer-only demon. intersex. runs a very popular camshow. used to be dating Bull, Com, and Mint, but he’s single now. a prankster and a horny weirdo. never takes things seriously. likes infecting himself with sexy computer viruses.

Gnash n Snap: a two-headed demon. they constantly bicker (each head uses he/him). they run a delivery service.

Quartz: does porn. aro homo (Shion is a noted exception to his homosexuality, which he likes). has done everything. a calm and level-headed dude, he never wears enough clothes. lives at the shrine with Shion and Zee and helps take care of it.

Zee: a zombie raised by Shion. remembers nothing from their life. the sweetest child, they will help literally anyone, but they will also eat bad people. moves slowly; their limbs fall off a lot. loves Shion and Quartz, loves decorating the shrine. some of the flesh on their face has rotted off, so they usually wear a cloth mask; they generally only let Shion see them without it, but they also take it off for Halloween. a slut.

Sweet: a chubby trans demon. burlesque dancer and sex worker at Dis. the “mom friend.” loves wine. loves having a good time. too elegant for this world.

Tarbh: a minotaur. freelance writer. wants to write fiction but he’s too useless and gay. bullied a lot by Vela. hasn’t been in a relationship for longer than three weeks but has been in a lot of relationships. accidentally acquires random traits from people he dates or hooks up with. a nice dude with a huge cock who deserves better than he gets. might date Jules briefly, idk

Vela: a moonlight demon. loves nighttime. can’t be in sunlight; carries a parasol. a nerd. smokes weed and does magic. she’s a bit of a bully to Tarbh but she calls him “big bro” and is working on being nicer to him. obsessed with cryptids and aliens.

Tempo: an anxiety demon. a librarian. exhales static and has poison blood. hates technology. it doesn’t even have a smart phone. reads a lot. too anxious to do much, but it loves its friends more than anything.

Jules: can’t speak. an engineer. hopeless with computers, but amazing with all other kinds of hardware. makes robots with Tear. incredibly cynical; will drop everything to help strangers. dresses for utility but wraps their upper body in loose bandage for style. tons of sharp fangs. proudly bi.

Illiel: an incredibly slutty angel. obsessed with muscles and getting Buff and Swole. founder of the co-op that runs Dis. Dis is their life, but also muscles are their life. similar pronoun situation as Deman.

Ulda: a young demon. kills dudes for fun. will make sure you know she’s a lesbian. loves her girlfriend Minami, who she lives with. she also lives with their qpp, Admin. does track and field and especially loves all forms of running. is usually exercising.

Alistair: a twink. sex worker and bartender at Dis. usually thinking about fish. loves fish more than anything. if he isn’t working, he’s fishing. somewhat awkward, but kind and insightful. might date Tempo.

[theconservativebrief]

If somebody attempted to do an actual power ranking of all the most popular supernatural creatures, well, that would be stupid, because obviously witches would win. They can do literal magic, and even if the calculations weren’t in their favor they could just like, put a spell on the person doing the math.

But unfortunately, there is no actual way to “do the math” on supernatural beings, because they are not real. What we can do, however, is attempt to determine how much power each of them wield in our cultural consciousness.

To do so, I calculated how much money every major movie about Halloween-y creatures made between 1999 and the present. Why 1999? First of all, it’s almost exactly 20 years ago, which means that it encompasses nearly an entire generation’s worth of taste in film. It also has the benefit of freeing me from comparing the cultural importance of the films from Universal’s genre-defining Classic Monsters era (the original Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, et al) with, say, Nicolas Cage’s witch movie from 2011.

There is also the fact that 1999 happened to be a pretty major year for movies and franchises involving otherworldly beings. The Mummy, The Blair Witch Project, and The Sixth Sense all premiered that year, providing major wins for mummies, witches, and ghosts, respectively.

So without further ado, here’s each of the most popular supernatural creatures, ranked by how much money the movies about them made. An important asterisk here is that films in which multiple kinds of beings play major roles will not be included, which is why you won’t find Harry Potter, Hotel Transylvania, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Shadows, and the like. (Plus, those are relatively lighthearted anyway, and it’s Halloween!) Another important asterisk is that the differences between categories, like ghosts and demons, can sometimes be nebulous, and so if you are particularly riled up about any of these categorizations, please remind yourself that, once again, it’s Halloween.

The following numbers are comprised of a film’s domestic gross only, are not adjusted for inflation, and were pulled from the IMDB-owned Box Office Mojo.

A still from Benicio Del Toro’s 2010 film The Wolfman. IMDB

Poor werewolves. In 20 years, there were only three major movies that featured werewolves prominently, and none of them really made all that much money. And even though Twilight technically stars a shape-shifting werewolf-like teenager, let’s be honest: It’s a vampire movie.

The Wolfman (2010): $61,979,680

Red Riding Hood (2011): $37,662,160

Cursed (2005): $19,297,522

Total: $118,939,362

The mummy in The Mummy. Universal Pictures/IMDB

The Mummy franchise is doing literally all the work here, although a special shoutout to Tom Cruise’s 2017 remake, whose domestic flop Vanity Fair attributes to Cruise’s “vise grip” of control.

The Mummy Returns (2001): $202,019,785

The Mummy (1999): $155,385,488

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008): $102,491,776

The Mummy (2017): $80,227,895

Total: $540,124,944

A still from 2016’s The Love Witch. IMDB

Had we included the Harry Potter franchise here, which at a domestic gross of $2,391,805,822 easily eclipses every other category all by itself, witches would have made it out on top. But despite the fact that they’re easily the coolest of the bunch, the other witch-centric movies of the last generation didn’t quite make the magic happen.

Oz the Great and Powerful (2013): $234,911,825

The Blair Witch Project franchise (1999- 2016): $187,753,254

The Conjuring (2013): $137,400,141

Into the Woods (2014): $128,002,372

Bewitched (2005): $63,313,159

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013): $55,703,475

The Last Witch Hunter (2015): $27,367,660

The Witch (2015): $25,138,705

Season of the Witch (2011): $24,827,228

The Covenant (2006): $23,380,495

The Love Witch (2016): $228,894

Total: $908,027,208

A still from Zombieland. Columbia/Tristar/IMDB

I’ll be honest, I’m a little shocked zombies didn’t do better here. Even after their mid-2000s heyday, zombie movies just kept respawning well into the 2010s. As the BBC argues, their popularity tends to spike in uncertain times: “Zombies embody the great contemporary fear − and, for some people, the great contemporary fantasy − that we’ll soon be surrounded by ravenous strangers, with only a shotgun to defend ourselves. Compared to that, facing a werewolf or a vampire is a breeze.”

Resident Evil franchise (2002-2017): $271,274,006

I Am Legend (2007): $256,393,010

World War Z (2013): $202,359,711

Zombieland (2009): $75,590,286

Warm Bodies (2013): $66,380,662

Dawn of the Dead (2004): $59,020,957

28 Days Later (2002): $45,064,915

28 Weeks Later (2007): $28,638,916

Shaun of the Dead (2004): 13,542,874

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2017): $10,938,134

Total: $1,029,203,471

In The Ring, Samara’s ghost crawls out of a TV.

The fun thing about ghost movies is that there’s a zillion different ways to do them — which is also likely why there’s simply been so many of them. But the one thing that unites them is that one point or another, somebody in the movie has probably had the thought, “I see dead people.” Here, a “ghost” is defined as the spirit of a specific dead person, which separates it from that of a demon.

The Sixth Sense (1999): $293,506,292

The Ring (2002): $233,152,400

What Lies Beneath (2000): $155,464,351

Ghostbusters (2016) : $128,350,574

The Grudge (2004): $110,359,362

The Others (2001): $96,522,687

Gothika (2003): $59,694,580

Thirteen Ghosts (2001): $41,867,960

House on Haunted Hill (1999): $40,846,082

Ghost Ship (2002): $30,113,491

Shutter (2008): $25,928,550

Dark Water (2005): $25,473,352

Pulse (2006): $20,264,436

Total: $1,261,544,117

A still from 2018’s The Nun. Warner Bros./IMDB

There can be some blurriness between what constitutes a demon versus a ghost, but in most cases, a demon is capable of possessing humans, can usually shape-shift, and often come alongside some religious connotations. Films involving the devil are also included in this category.

Paranormal Activity franchise (2009-2015): $401,363,355

Insidious franchise (2010-2018): $257,374,845

The Nun (2018): $116,745,963

This Is the End (2013): $101,470,202

Constantine (2005): $75,976,178

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005): $75,072,454

The Amityville Horror (2005): $65,233,369

The Devil Inside (2012): $53,261,944

Ouija (2014): $50,856,010

The Possession (2012): $49,130,154

Sinister (2012): $48,086,903

Hereditary (2018): $44,069,456

Drag Me To Hell (2009): $42,100,625

Exorcist: The Beginning (2004): $41,821,986

Little Nicky (2000): $39,464,775

Bedazzled (2000): $37,886,980

Devil (2010): $33,601,190

The Rite (2011): $33,047,633

Deliver Us From Evil (2014): $30,577,122

Jennifer’s Body (2009): $16,204,793

The Babadook (2014): $964,413

Total: $1,614,310,350

A still from Twilight. IMDB

To literally nobody’s surprise, vampires have made the most money at US box offices over the past 20 years. This is, of course, solely due to the popularity of Twilight, the YA saga responsible for thousands of sexual awakenings of both its target tween readership and the adult fans of its unauthorized NSFW spinoff, 50 Shades of Grey.

Twilight franchise (2008-2012): $1,365,922,346

Underworld franchise (2003-2016): $252,766,892

Van Helsing (2004): $120,177,084

Blade II (2002): $82,348,319

Blade Trinity (2004): $52,411,906

30 Days of Night (2007): $39,568,996

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012): $37,519,139

Dracula 2000 (2000): $33,022,767

Daybreakers (2009): $30,101,577

Priest (2011): $29,136,626

Fright Night (2011): $18,302,607

Let Me In (2010): $12,134,935

What We Do In the Shadows (2014): $3,469,224

Let the Right One In (2008): $2,122,065

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013): 1,879,534

Total: $2,080,884,017

So yes, vampires made a lot of money over the past twenty years, but what’s interesting is that if we remove the Twilight factor, they’d be somewhere way down between mummies and witches in terms of box office revenue. That means that it’s actually demons and ghosts that have managed to have the most consistent and lasting impact on movie ticket sales.

Supernatural creatures are embodiments of the things we fear or don’t understand, and they rise and fall in trendiness just as any other pop culture phenomenon. The ones that don’t seem to ever go out of style, however, happen to be the ones that many people actually believe in: ghosts and demons.

One 2013 study by Huff Post and YouGov showed that about 45 percent of Americans believed in ghosts, while nearly one in five U.S. adults say they’ve seen or been in the presence of a ghost, according to Pew Research Center. Meanwhile, in a Public Policy Polling survey from 2012, 57% of respondents said that it was possible for humans to be possessed by demons, and a 2016 Gallop poll also shows that 61% of Americans believe in the devil.

As a 2016 piece by Vox’s Aja Romano pointed out, trends in horror movies tend to reflect the cultural fears at the time. That year, home invasion movies were popular, a genre that’s often aimed at white Americans and can be an allegory for xenophobia. Considering the fact that immigration was one of the 2016 election’s most contentious topics, it’s not exactly difficult to see the connection there.

Ghosts and demons, on the other hand? These will be stoking fears for about as long as their average life span — which is to say, for eternity.

Original Source -> Ghosts, witches, zombies: which supernatural creature makes the most money at the box office?

via The Conservative Brief