#breaks and rest when i can
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i think in the new year i might not post as frequently as the last two for a while—while my ds9 cube comic was very much a silly goof, it's not inaccurate to say that i'm a little burnt out! (and that i should probably start taking up some more sports or games)
it's a weird burnout too, because i'm not like, tired of drawing (i still enjoy it) nor am i tired of drawing naruto stuff (i'm very comfortable and happy drawing my yamatos)
but something has shifted a little bit, and i do feel some kind of strain—i'm not in as much of a doodling mood as I have been the past 2+1/2 years, I'm feeling a craving for Projects, I think.
things that test me more, and take more time. Things that give me more direction, and less aimless creative meandering—well, we'll see! we'll see what happens.
#blogkeeping#part of the burnout may have been that like. with the holidays i havent had time to sit at my desk and draw#so i felt strained and rushed whenever i did try to draw#but i think there's also a bit of growing confidence and hunger in me—and the last thing i want to do is try to silence that#if hes got something to say well i ought to hear him out#but also. i could only be listening for what i want to hear. so im gonna take it slow for a while anyhow + give myself lots of#breaks and rest when i can#i'd like to eventually open commissions this year as well! i think that would be a good exercise
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something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down
#all i want is chinese food#the closest one to me is 40 minutes away and its a /bad/ chinese place#its my worst option and its not even an option#‘fried rice is easy to make heres a recipe!’#i cant use a stove bc the heat will give me a seizure#even if i keep myself cool something that should take 15 minutes will take upwards of an hour bc i need to take breaks#even then ill probably be too nauseous to eat it after being active for so long#all of that for a bad cooks version of fried rice#more expensive and worse than a takeaway place#but i cant get it from a takeaway place#repeat ad nauseum for the rest of my life and is it any wonder im so sick of the same food ive eaten for 10 years#the only time i get takeaway is when my parents decide to go out and bring something home#can you imagine living like that for the rest of your life?#i dont have to#and its so dumb to want to cry over rice#but its not really about the rice is it#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic illness#disability#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental illness#mental health#save post
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The Rise and Fall of a Midwest… *squints at notes* Symbiote???
I just know he’d love Chappell Roan.
I didn’t live the way I laid out the bubbles, so I’ll prob redo this. :]
But yeah! I watched Venom 2 recently (and then 1 again) and loved it — albeit not as much as the first. I find that I typically enjoy the original more, the sequel less, and then love the third when it comes to movies. I haven’t seen The Last Dance yet but I fear it will rip my heart out. : ‘)
I cannot stress how much I’ve always loved the idea of symbiotes and hosts and what-not — but the movie has made me appreciate Eddie Brock and Venom specifically sooo much.
Little weirdos. Absolute freaks. 🫶🏼
#venom x eddie#venom#eddie brock#venom movie#venom 1#venom 2#venom 2018#venom: let there be carnage#carnage#symbrock#venom symbiote#symbiosis#carnage symbiote#symbiote suit#perfect symbiosis#carlton drake#Carlton drake can suck a pp!!!#so glad he’s dead#rip 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽#but not actually#I hope he rests so unpeacefully#I wanna be Eddie Brock when I grow up#but like not break a pretty lady’s heart#Anne is so pretty stg#I mean so is Eddie#and Dan#ugh they’re all pretty#idk#sony venom#fuck Disney making all the super hero movies so soft
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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free my boy from his own show he did nothing wrong
#they did him soo dirty wth and no one gaf about him at aaaal jentry started to being a dick i mean yeah sure understandable but the rest#of the cast?? they didnt interact with him but judge him as if he was the worst they didnt care to know him uug the show was okay there's#just things like this i didnt like at all i belive it was a wasted opportunity to befriend michael and stella with kit they would definitely#get along i also hated the fact jentry told stella kit wasnt a human when it is something sensitive for him she just came out him and showed#no remorse and faced no consequences that felt so out of character i swear😭 AND I ALSO DISLIKE michael and jentry as partners#it feels as if they are just trying to make their childhood crush real yknow i dont fucking see any intimacy between them besides their#first interactions i mean i dont ship jentry and kit but dude their emotional intimacy is deep they even kinda share the same vision of live#anyway go watch jcvtu so i can know what the sigma happens next i swear if kit doesnt revives i swear#myart#sketch#fanart#jcvtu#jentry chau vs the underworld#kit#kit jcvtu#okay so talking a lil about my sketch mmm i used that photo for the pose because there's no way ill break my head over it and well the thing#kit has in his hands is supposedly the thread he uses for his humans cosplays#if theres anyone reading this excuse my grammar is just that idc im having fun
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I'm all for viktor manhandling jayce, but let's be real. Jayce is LUCKY viktor chose that path
Had viktor approached jayce in human form, hugged/cradled him, held his face, and soothed him with sweet nothings, that man would have FOLDED like a lawn chair
After months of torture? HIM??? He would not survive
#we already know jayce likes using peoples laps as a head rest LMFAO he would be BROKEN#also i havent finished season 2 yet this is all what i got from spoilers. thanks guys <- guy who ruined his own life#im a good ending for everyone truther but also. a scene like this but with the same ending?? could have been BRUTAL#i want that man BROKEN i want that man GIVING UP for a moment#i want that man almost falling for it because he just went through months of hell and he just wants a hug and a break dammit#screaming crying throwing up etc#having a breakdown while hextor is smiling thinkin about how he won and hes gonna get his partner on his beep boop shit#arcane#jayvik#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#viktor arcane#viktor cult#when youve had such a shit day you can ignore your ex being a cult leader who wants to assimilate you#edging whump w this one boys#yappersville
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Rebirth
#this too. counts as mpreg#hws prussia#hws germany#hetalia fanart#hetalia#gilbert beilschmidt#ludwig beilschmidt#guess you could say he’s a. SHELL of his former sel-#[gets pelted with tomatoes] 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅#I would also like to argue this can be tagged as pregnant Gil cuz like#what is birth if not breaking yourself from the inside out for the creation of another?#maybe or maybe you won’t live to see it come to fruition#i rest my case#cw pregnancy#is this body horror?#cw body horror#just in case#sorry still posting infrequently - still in burnout and I hate everything I make ✌️#digital art#my art#fanart#one day I’m gonna draw Gil so white he just straight up disappears on the canvas#it has come to my attention that I don’t actually know how to draw#the style kinda reminds me of when I just started out drawing on my iPad#that’s not a good thing.
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 2#yakuza series#yakuza 2#yakuza kiwami 2#daigo dojima#snap sketches#//through tears// emo daigo save me#i had this sketched last night but then i played minecraft the rest of the night instead of finishing it LMAO#my spring break is over i have to drive later ive been feeling like death for Ever when will it END#my pain can be alleviated by art only. of the silly variety#anyway inspod by aggressive gaia online browsing. and break dancing#he is most certainly not breakdancing but i was and i thought of goofy poses. while making goofy poses#usually id give masato all the laying/sitting poses but too late#mk bye i hope he gives off hot topic circa 2011 energy
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has this been done yet
#i know they’ve mentioned it quite a few times over the last year#but this video was right around halloween last year and now look at em#the prophecy was fulfilled#“the inherently gay energy” ok. now what#god they actually slayed it so bad like never getting over it#so many iconic phannie moments in the last year in the last month in the last WEEK#but the costumes was deservedly their most internet breaking far reaching impact since the comeback I fear#dnp#dan and phil#phan#amazingphil#parallels#good phomens#i can never rest when rewatching older videos bc I always find some fuckass bit that’s relevant enough to clip
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pov : you're the rest of the sextuplets meeting kuroba for the first time.
#as soon as i found out this was a meme i knew i had to redraw it w/ kuroba#some context : kara doesn't tell his brothers about kuroba ( mostly bc he doesn't want them to cause issues and ->#get him banned from their shop ) but oso & totty figure out he's hiding something when he starts acting suspicious about the roses he bought#eventually the rest of them get roped into tagging along and they tail him the next time he sneaks off to kuro's#they end up breaking one of the potted plants outside their shop while trying to eavesdrop and kuro comes out w/ this kind of energy#they're not even really mad they're playing up their scary face to fuck with them a bit#but that ends up working too well bc they all end up running off scared as hell of kara's new '' yakusa '' friend#( get it? like yakuza and kusa meaning grass. gET IIIIT— )#anyways one of the benefits of kuro looking like their granddad is being able to make the same intimidating faces he can pull off#i need to finish chouji's ref soon... i love him...#osmt#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#mj draws#🕰 : scheduled post
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they are doing some spy vs spy shit to eachother
#my art#autobot jazz#soundwave#transformers#you can tell that i havent drawn soundwave in a while lol#jazz took me like 3 minutes and soundwave took forever#anyways no hate to people who ship them i do think theyd respect eachother a lot#but i think its so fucking funny when soundwave is like 'MAN FUCK THAT GUY HE KEEPS BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE AND EATING MY KIDS FRUIT GUMMIES#meanwhile jazz is like 'hey man. whats up. nice pick w the scooby doo ones those are great'#I FORGOT TO DRAW A SINGLE LINE TO SHOW THAT JAZZ IS RESTING ON A COUNTER. whatever you didnt even notice
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Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation
Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'
....
So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...
....
It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.
#VERY VERY INTERESTING STUFF#also fuck evan this guy is so annoying he KEPT interrupting her through her whole segment and then smiled all condescending like#'what about the money you idiot woman'#and it's like YES the money IS a good point#this could easily all just be talk from tee and ja'marr#because tee DOES deserve all the money he can get#he DOES also deserve the chance at being WR1 if that's what he wants#(he has always done well as WR1 when ja'marr is out/hurt)#so like yes. those are important caveats.#that can definitely be talking points without evan's annoying ass comments and interruptions and looks#(like dude are you not also just some sideline reporter? no need to act like you're better than aditi. BUT WHATEVER)#very interesting considerations! that tee is aware of all the good of his current situation#and may not want to change it at all??#again. could just be saying shit. actions speak louder than words and all that#but the action of dropping your agent (who has the BEST track record of getting guaranteed money) only to go to the agent of the guy#who the front office is going to try to leverage your negotiations against#is like. well. that feels very very deliberate!!#that these two are going to put up a united front. to try to do their best to stay together AND get paid.#which sounds too good to be true tbh!#and then ja'marr comparing his relationship with justin and his relationship with tee!!#both important relationships! both beautiful connections!#and like. justin and ja'marr NEEDED that kind of relationship in college#one of support and competition. pushing each other to be their best. so that they could come into the league#and break all these records almost immediately#and then now a more settled relationship with tee. calmer softer maybe.#that post about how important relationships that let you REST are#man. man. i could go on forever about all of this but this is already too much!!!#tee higgins#ja'marr chase#cincinnati bengals
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
#disability#trauma#chronic illness#long COVID#COVID#Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury#The brain fog SUCKS#I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated#And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear#And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that#I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure#Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore#And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up#And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks#And like. I know so many people have it worse#And that suuuuucks#But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time#Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true#Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days#🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually#I had SUCH a good time working out one night#But then the next morning#Nope#head-to-toe muscle pain#couldn’t do any chores#Couldn’t even feed myself
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While I love the storyline where Alfred was there from day one and helped raise Bruce, I think the original where he’s just some guy who shows up one day and Bruce and Dick just have to cope is extremely funny
#Alfred belongs in the family because he really is just as insane as the rest of them#he just knocked on their door and said I live here now#and both dick and Bruce are like ???#but then he learns their secret and he’s like cool!#I can also be a great detective!#and he isn’t but he really good at getting things accidentally#give me weirdo Alfred that becomes the respected father figure over time#and all the younger robins know him as the family butler who been there ages and knows Bruce better than anyone#and they’re like it’s really great he had someone when he was younger#and then they find out that’s not true#he was just a guy that showed up#and forced his way into the family#a lot like the rest of them#but it still absolutely throws them for a loop#so they try not to think about it too hard#can you imagine Gordon??#oh Bruce I didn’t know your family had a butler#oh we didn’t he just showed up one day#Gordon: ????#the fact that dick was part of Bruce’s life first#is something so personal to me#and the fact that he was there watching Alfred break and enter his way into the family#is something so funny to me#batman comics#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth
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Here’s a little wip I’ve been working on in between my homework!
Yes I am making a genderbent Jonathan design. I have a vision for her I must get out into the world or else I will (figuratively) explode
#I’m calling her joan btw cause 1. I like that proposed name for her 2. JOAN OF ARC and 3. that one smiths lyric#(aka ‘now I know how joan of arc felt’ from bigmouth strikes again)#this is going to be a big project for me to finish over the break#I’m drawing Joan in every look from all of the seasons (I’ll do s5 after it comes out cause there aren’t too many refs for the looks we’ve#seen so far)#it’ll be like a line up of looks#cause rn I don’t have time to do scene redraws#btw#short hair Joan supremacy in this household!#if willow gets the bob than so does Joan#it’s integral to her character imo#I’m also going to do genderbent Nancy and the rest of the teens at some point#some won’t be for awhile#I do know that Nancy will be next (so I can draw sapphic and achillean jancy >:])#genderbent st with lesbyler has me INTRIGUED over how it would work#I’m confused but curious as to how it would all play out#it’s why when I’m done genderbending all of the teens I’m going to write out how the plot changes for joan and the gang and how it would#turn out#in the mean time once I’m done exams and schoolwork I’m going to start figuring it out#stranger things#jonathan byers#lesbyler#guess I’ll tag lesbyler since she is apart of that verse#fanart wip friday i guess?#sorry for the amount of tags I have a lot to say :]
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Hey if you're a white person (as I am too!) and reading the stuff about End OTW Racism (@end-otw-racism) is making you uncomfortable CONGRATULATIONS THATS THE POINT bipoc have been uncomfortable in fandom for decades and some of yall can't face being uncomfortable for five seconds and still have the gall to have shit like BLM in your descriptions.
Put your money where your mouth is. Be uncomfortable. Actually read what they're talking about and what changes they're proposing instead of jumping right to BuT wHaT aBoUt My DaRk FiC (they want to protect your dark fic and help ensure you're safer from harassment over it!)and ThEy'Re PrO-cEnSoRsHiP (they are explicitly not).
I'm so fucking tired of having my posts and those I reblog on this topic largely ignored on my personal account, but ESPECIALLY I'm furious about how ignored posts on racism in fandom are when I put them on the danmei art sideblogs.
I see racism every single fucking DAY as part of running those accounts. This isn't some nebulous thing happening elsewhere, this is us!
If you don't care, I really need you to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY DONT I CARE?
Because YOU SHOULD FUCKING CARE.
#unforth rambles#end racism in the otw#end otw racism#i was already at my breaking point on this issue a month ago when i started talking more about microaggressions in the mdzs tag#now seeing how impossible it is to get people to give a shit ive moved to fucking FURIOUS#WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE ANGRY I DONT UNDERSTAND#(i do understand#its racism taking rhe form of complacency and disinterest#from people who have the privilege to ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable and doesnt harm them directly#im honestly gettibg so disgusted#do better white fandom)#im a jewish white woman with biracial kids#it horrifies me to realize that im genuinely not sure if the circles im in would be safe for my half black kids to join#im genuinely not sure i can let my kids join fandom when they get old enough#for fear of what they'll be exposed to here#do yall even realize what a fucking indictment that is?#note this is mostly not aimed at my mutuals#yall are awesome and ilu#but i only have about 75 mutuals#what about the rest of my 1900 followers like wtf guys
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