#both make me want to cry
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for the fucking LIFE of me i can't get the idea of a mass effect fic that's literally just the plot of red dead 2 out of my head. heist gone wrong, on the run from the alliance, and instead of shep getting tuberculosis (bc lets be real in the year of our lord 2183 diseases like that don't exist) she gets indoctrinated and it's happening slowly and she can't help it but she CAN try to redeem herself before she looses herself completely IS THAT TOO DARK FOR PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY READ
(also sean=grunt and lenny=tali BUT I FEEL LIKE THAT'S TOO MUCH)
except writing whump makes my dead unfeeling heart soar
#which is sadder: red dead 2 fic with the plot of mass effect or mass effect fic with the plot of red dead 2#like i don't think i have it in me to kill of grunt and tali like that but i will for the sake of ~plot~#does that make TIM dutch#or is anderson dutch#both make me want to cry#mwahahaha#charthur and shakarian and my two babies if i can combine them i will ascent into heaven and will be seated at the right hand of the father
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FNAF 4 nightmares haunted all the Afton kids..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#evan afton#afton family#fnaf crying child#fredbear#nightmare fredbear#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#NIGHTMARE FREDBEAR MENTIONED đ„đ„đ„#I noticed I havenât drawn Michael and CC alone in a comic together#wanted to change that to show off a bit of their dynamic#like any dysfunctional siblings I donât think Michael was constantly awful to cc#they probably had moments of comfort in one another#Michael begrudgingly lets cc sleep in his bed tonight#seeing his father would get on his case if he doesnât#but Michael is kinda glad heâs there too#heâs been having nightmares too but never admit that#heâs not just reassuring cc but himself too#nightmares haunt them both#an omen to whatâs to come for them both#The Afton siblings make me so sniffle sob
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#jjk text posts#jjk#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#jjk yuji#jjk megumi#megumi x yuuji#yuji x megumi#text post#this is my itafushi propaganda#i love them both so much and they are perfect for each other#two different kinds of idiots in love#its about the sharing of trauma#they are gonna be so miserable but its okay because theyre together#also the satosugu parallels go crazy#i can't explain it but it makes me want to cry i love it so much#they have been rotating in my head for all of time#anyways now im gonna go be so normal about this#crypt text posts
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being âfixableâ. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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watched Black Sails for the first time and I can't stop thinking about them
#black sails#the fact that this could apply to either one of them#anne bonny#jack rackham#jack x anne#they make me sick i love them so much#partners until they put us in the fucking ground??#screaming crying throwing up#need them both#want to be them as well#help
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7.01 Abandon Ships
7.10 All Fall Down
#something about how shannon and eddie both love christopher so so much#but eddie gets what shannon not coming back did to him#and 'nobody will ever fight for my son as hard as you'#because he will fight for his son#so he'll say his goodbye#but he'll make sure christopher knows he can come back#because shannon leaving. shannon not knowing how to come back#eddie gets christopher's pain but also shannon's fear#and he doesn't want christ to feel that#he wants him to come back#and he WILL fight for that#anyway come cry with me#911#911 abc#911 fox#9-1-1#911edit#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#shannon diaz#kk.gifs
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now. if we follow the âDaniel was imagining Claudia as looking like his granddaughter when Louis described her in S1, which is why she looks different in s2 after he saw a picture of herâ theory, that means thereâs a young woman in her teenage/early adult years related to Daniel who looks eerily similar to Claudia. a young woman who would definitely want to know what the fuck is up with her crazy grandpa and would also probably want to go to the superstar of the yearâs rock concert. hey listen to me. because this is how we can get Bailey and Delainey on the same screen AND torture Lestat in obscene ways. no wait listen câmon
#Lestat breaking down in front of this girl and sheâs like âuh⊠hey dude are you fucking my grandpa. dude. please stop crying manâ#ghost!claudia looking at this girl from her haunting spot backstage: good to know they still make girls as pretty as me <3#CâMON I THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNY. WOULDNâT IT BE FUNNY#I WANT THEM BOTH ON MY SCREEN THE POWER WILL BE IMMENSE THE SLAY UNSTOPPABLE#delainey hayles#bailey bass#claudia#claudia iwtv#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#claudia eparvier#iwtv#interview with the vampire#daniel molloy#lestat de lioncourt
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Promises
He should know better.Â
Wolfwood has seen Vash make promises, or hear about the ones he has made in the past. He has also seen the end of each one and how every single time the outcome is less than what was promised.Â
Vash likes to say embellished words, with a soft and determined voice that lures you into his hopes and dreams, it almost feels like a spell, as if he was calling for you to come closer and believe him. But Wolfwood knows better.
He believes in him, but Vash is much closer to being an idealistic dreamer than a realistic person like he is. He might not be aware of it, but his beautiful promises of a better future give people hope, a hope that is usually embraced with things like disappointment and abandonment.Â
He doesnât think that Vash does it with the intent of looking for any of those things. Far from it, he might even do the impossible in order to accomplish said promises, but life is too short and humans are too mortal for his wishes, so in the end, most of Vashâs promises end up being empty or they come to haunt him as a reminder of his failed vows. He admires the man, for his perseverance and idealism, but he also hates the man, for his stubbornness and lies.Â
Wolfwood knows all of this perfectly to a tee. And yet, he has also found himself being drawn to his world. Because he also dreams of it.
A world in where his always present calls for love and peace exist, a world that is far more kind than what he might deserve, a world in where the kids can be happy and roam around without any worry in their heads, a world in where he can peacefully turn grey with age and his hands can shed the harsh callouses of his life. Who knows, maybe a world in where he and Vash can finally know the peace that was taken away from them, in where they can share the calmness that comes with the passage of time, indulging in every tick of the clock welcoming with open arms whatever comes their way without any fear.
It is a beautiful promise. But Wolfwood is a person that has to keep his feet on the ground, indulging in âwhat ifsâ would only make things harder than what they had to be. He canât have any ifs if he canât make it through the now. And by the way he is carrying his present, he is doubtful he will even get to see a shed of that promised world that Vash tries to drag him into. So why mourn something he doesnât even have, or will ever have for that matter.
He hates the way Vash seems to promise things so easily. His tongue silky and pliant, slipping divine words one after the other, promises way too big for what that barren world can actually fit.Â
But when Vash talks to him in that holy voice of his, when he hears him say âItâs okay, everything will be alright, I promiseâ so gently right on his ear, while he holds his face so tenderly making him focus on him and nothing else, he wants to believe him.
He has seen the end of his promises. He knows how impossible they are. But for once, he wants to believe it too. Believe in that loving world that will cradle them both until they fall asleep, listening to the soft sound of the wind laughing while the moons smile upon them.Â
So he allows himself to indulge in the warmth of his palms, leaning into the comfort of his existence, feeling the soft air of Vashâs breaths against his skin while their foreheads meet in a touch that feels like a hot brand that will melt him.
For an instant, he allows himself to be selfish and believe that maybe, that is how living in that world Vash so desperately fights for would be. Soft and warm, making him feel safe in the hollow of Vashâs hands where the world seems to fit so well. A world where the blue sky is a blanket that covers the love and care that is nestled in it like the one in Vashâs eyes. He wants to see that world.
For now, he will selfishly think that the world that fits in Vashâs hands is right there in where he is holding him, where his blue eyes are drowning in the light of the sunset dripping with love and care while looking at him, that the gentle touch of Vashâs thumb wiping his tears is the same as the kiss of that laughing wind in that distant future, where the smile of his eyes overcomes the smile of the moons.
He should know better. But he loves the thought of that world. And he hopes that Vash will get to see that world, because that gentle sight is more fitting for someone like him than the one of his violent world.
He promises to himself that he will do what it takes for that day to be possible. Even if the end of that promise will be empty for Nicholas, he knows it will be a full one for Vash. So it really isnât that empty for him after all.
He hates his lies, and he hates how true they sound, but Vashâs embellished words are far sweeter than his bitter thoughts so they feel better on his insides, almost like a balm that cares for the wounds of his throbbing, painful reality.
He should know better.
But arenât humans weak at the promise of love?
#yeahâŠ.mmâŠmhm yeah#my thoughts were going crazy with this one. because WW crying is something that has me week on the knees#WEAK FFS#also the thought of him becoming bare and emotional at the hands of Vash makes me want to jump around until I pass out#think of it. he is afraid of him in a way. but he trusts him so deeply too itâs such a contrasting and little contradictory thing#more like. denial after denial but yk what I mean. because thatâs the whole post#also as a fun fact. while on the making of this thing the line of âitâs okay. everything will be alright. I promise#itâs meant to be said by Vash to WW#but also I did it considering that a)Vash is saying it to himself as well and b)itâs something WW wants to say to Vash as well#they are both incredibly pained men and they know it but donât adress it. so verbally saying such words to each other issssUUUEHWHAGAH#ah yes. the intimacy of being emotionally vulnerable with the person who you would trust your life to but never openly say shit to eachother#isnât that such an amazing flavor? I wonât lie to you itâs one of my favorites#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#trigun fanart#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#nicholas the punisher#lenssi writes#lenssi draws#trigun 2023#trigun 98#because I did a mishmash on WW design bc this is meant to be TriStamp time skip in my mind#his eyes were originally their canon steel blue/grayish tone. but while doing the lighting the brown looked gorgeous#i couldnât help myself so I left it that way. because there is something so beautiful abt his eyes shining like that in#the afternoon light while he becomes undone under the sunset ya feel me?#OHFUCKIALMOSTFORGOT another little detail. Vashâs right hand doesnât have a glove and itâs on purpose btw youâre welcome
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[Image description: a digital drawing of sklonda and pok gukgak from fantasy high, two goblins with shoulder length straight hair and short curly hair, respectively. they're touching foreheads and embracing, both of sklonda's hands in pok's hair, while one of pok's hands is moving sklonda's bangs off her foreheads and the other is clutching at her waist. we only see sklonda's face and the look of silent grief on it. in the background on pok's half is a stylized dragon's mouth with teeth digging into his shoulder, and on sklonda's side are sheets of paper. over the background on the left is text that reads, it's okay, and then on the right side in brackets it says, (it'll be ok). End image description]
#sklonda gukgak#pok gukgak#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#eyestrain tw#just in case#sklonpok#fhsy#a huge thank u to other artists on my dash who also indulge in making art that is truly for all of 5 people#and most of all for themselves#it reminds me i can just draw whatever i want and my own enjoyment is merit enough#mwah mwah#also hi. i don't know what to caption this so it'll stay captionless#there was a version of this drawing where sklonda was crying but this 'silent grief' is just. more potent#that kind of like. sadness but also acceptance#i miss you but i wont forever clutch onto you. ugh#i like the little space between them because. is one of them pulling away? both? we need to let go for now (i will keep holding on)#(how can i ever fully let go. do i have to?)#its 2 am and i need to sleep but man. grief is a Beast
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I canât stop thinking about Loop. Imagine doing everything, anything, to get out of a traumatic situation but the price is you. Your body is gone, your name is gone, your family doesnât recognize you, you feel like most of your memories of them are gone too anyway. Suddenly youâre denied your identity. Itâs like YOU never existed⊠and someone else took your place. You, whose biggest fears are forgetting and being forgotten in turn. You, whoâs hesitant to change and now youâre forced to. You canât even really blame anyone else because you did get your wish, right?
Itâs explained clearly in the game, but the implications of it just hit me extra hard sometimes. Siffrin is as much of a study of Loop as Loop is of Siffrin. They share(d) their fears too so mal du pays words essentially becoming the truth to Loop is just⊠đȘšđȘšđȘšđđđđ„đ„đ„đ„
What do you do when all you have is ripped from you, all your worst fears come true, and youre forced to just⊠come to terms with it?
#isat spoilers#isat loop#2hats spoilers#shaking you by the shoulders#i love siffrin and loop so much#ââwkbââ consider: i am new and also stupid#yes ive KNOWN but i didint really GET it yk? like how horrifying losing you self is#they make me die#postgame loop makes it hit extra hard bc ppl are partially defined by their experiences#the longer siffrin and loop exist as separate the more they diverge#that must be TERRIFYING. to an extent to both of them#of course theyâll always have many similarities as they started as the same person but like#loop is just despair au siffrin#<- specifying postgame fics that explore loops identity bc canon had them fade out#which i love btw delightful angst i love everyones takes on loop#in stars and time#isat#i think genuinely in Loopâs shoes as someone whoâs also hesitant to change: if I didnât cry 24/7#iâd be clinging into who i was and still want to be in some ways. but as iâd heal iâd probably want to be distinct#like im me and always will be me but i want what i experienced to not be a footnote. i dont want to be a mirror#âââi am who that family loved but im also someone newââ yk? its so hard to battle with those two opposites of ââim []ââ & ââim not YOUR []â
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Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incidentâą won't leave my mind.
Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").
There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.
Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).
Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.
The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.
Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.
And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.
Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.
Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.
Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.
They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.
#sorry for bringing up sabaody i am sure nobody wants to think about it#but they mean the world to me and there is SO MUCH to unpack#we don't talk enough about this i think ?????#sanji spending two whole years having nightmares about not being able to save usopp. about seeing usopp disappearing in front of him#he still has them btw#sanji having to sleep with usopp post-ts because he is afraid of waking up and seeing he is gone#also i am having thoughts about brook protecting them and#and brook saying he will do anything to save them#because sanji has only heard that from zeff so......... so just thinking. i have thoughts. i told you brook is one of sanji's father figure#back to sanuso- thinking about how this whole scene despite having brook too is mainly focused on both sanji and usopp#thinking abt how the others disappear mostly focusing only on luffy's reactions but this emphasizes a lot sanji's attempts to save usopp#why would you give them a whole scene i am throwing up#sorry still thinking abt sanji apologizing to usopp for not being able to protect him or#or having nightmares he definitely has nightmares about it#and usopp just. staying with him and making him see that he is alright now. and letting him cry.#early post-ts kills me#still angry we don't have almost post-ts sanuso#i might start crying thinking abt them so it'll be better if just shut up and post this#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#sabaody
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Can I request a pokemon drawing? Was thinking mewtwo but idk whoever whatever!
Day 11 - Quiet pls
#My art#Requestober#Pokemon#Whismur#MewTwo#I'm pulling out my excuse from a couple years ago - I may have gone overboard but in my defense I really wanted to#Lol#Of course I had to!!! My beloveds!!!!!#Whismur's been on my mind again lately - thinking again of the little doodle of me holding one among others things haha#And I mean if you're going to specify MewTwo who am I to say no <3#So both! Both burple babies! Although Whismur is classified as pink?? Mm???#They're more purple than MewTwo arguably??? He's more grey due to the alien influence - that scrembaby is purple#I really wanted to lean a bit more into MewTwo's catlike traits and have him nosing around lol#Sniff sniff what are you identify yourself#Couldn't swing the posing >:P He's too dignified to lie down completely but how do support himself on those legs!#If not for his tail he'd definitely fall on his face haha#Well I might try again another time - and it's not like I'm DisPleased with how it turned out!#I didn't re-line Everything but I did a lot of it........I actually like lining a lot now........it's fun lol#His little body expression differences were very fun haha especially his tail - an agitated thump in the last one!#MewTwo dearest you're very intimidating to the little speaker just turn down the glare#Being screamed at doesn't help the glower lol#Poor little Whismur haha just not used to MewTwo yet! He's fairly friendly to most Pokemon...now#He'll still probably just make a clone and leave the original be at this point lol#As least that one won't cry at the sight of him! Probably! Maybe! Haha <3
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"You really care about me."
"Yeah. I really, really care about you."
"I- I really care about you too."
"No, but... I like, really, really care about you."
#mr. & mrs. smith#mr. & mrs. smith prime#maya erskine#donald glover#john x jane#alana x michael#john smith#jane smith#i... need these two in a romcom i think#i like them both individually and i was gonna get around to it but it really was the interviews they did together that sold me on the show#they've got great chemistry#i enjoyed it for what it is#mr. & mrs. smith spoilers#i just need them in a romcom so they play people who aren't as fucked up because they were both frustrating at times#their last scene made me cry tbh so i guess i'm a sucker#i want them to get a 2nd season just because i like maya and donald but also... fuck amazon#michael#cw: food?#him making sure she's hydrated even though they're going through a rough patch was ao sweet of him#also i can't with her kissing him on the cheek in the last scene#i say i liked this show enough and that i'm not super attached to it... so why am i still thinking about them???#i really wanted to hear her say his real name but i get it#i find it oddly sweet that the first thing john asked her(not said ASKED) was if she really loved him and she said that she did#alana
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Please vote today
#thatâs it#thatâs the post#I bought wine for tonight and Iâm not really a big drinker but I already want to unhealthily cope with today#another historic day Iâm sure#fucking hate historic days#I hate crying#Iâve cried so much the past few days#hate the specific heaviness of being a millennial#if applicable to you#Iâm exhausted#what am I supposed to do with two little girls if Trump wins?#fuck anyone who makes me feel the feeling of regret over having my babies#I already want to throw up or get blackout drunk or both#fuck anyone who votes for Trump#fuck anyone who chooses not to vote#fuck anyone who thinks abstaining from voting proves any kind of point#fuck anyone who votes for Jill Stein#fuck anyone who doesnât vote for Kamala Harris#the weight and enormity of this makes me feel like Iâm going insane#I hate being so goddamn angry all the time
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This type of man is the best type of man
#the blessing of bisexuality: you're badass AND a loser at the same time#also hello yes i will compare them they are both kids I want to protect#also watch buddy daddies it's amazing and funny and it makes me cry#just like banana fish fr#also love how for the last two pics on the left side Eiji was the one waking Ash and for the pics on the right it was Miri BAHSHDHSJEJWS#banana fish#buddy daddies#ash lynx#rei suwa#aslan jade callenreese#mimi posts#gun tw
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"Me? Oh yeah I'm lesbian I'm sure of that-"
* Jayden Revri as Charles Rowland comes in to my life *
...... Guess I'm bi spec.
(Fuck you Charles Rowland. Thanks for that mess again).
#dead boy detectives#i both gender envy him crushing on him and deeply relates to him because of shared trauma so much i want to cry I'm like him#I'm officially done labeling myself. labels were nice but i don't feel like they fit me anymore#done with pushing myself inside boxes#NO BUT WHY IS HE SO PRETTY STOP IT BOY YOU'RE CONFUSING ME#he's like the prefect man.#can you blame me???#jayden revri#jayden reveri#Charles Rowland#sorry charles i swear I'm shipping you with Edwin i love you two so much but also you make me feel stuff I'm not used to#i understand Edwin completely.#dead gay detectives#lesbian#bi#bisexual#bi spec#bi spectrum#bisexual spectrum#LGBTQ#lgbtq characters#lgbt#lgbt issues#sexuality#lgbt identity#charles rowland#dead boy detectives agency
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