#they are gonna be so miserable but its okay because theyre together

[cryptidinlaw]

[domoriu]

perv bsf!bonedo

req - could you imagine bonedo as your bestfriend and theyre lowk freaky and a perv for you

warnings: the boys are kinda (really) icky, 18+ mdni !! panty stealing/sniffing, non consented recording, manipulation? idk… also ty @tsandoll for helping me w some of these 🫶🏽 the rest of the members under the cut !! <3

sungho

super subtle about it

youd never guess he was so pervy

everyone else around you guys would definitely know sungho had some sort of crush on you, but you’re oblivious to it and think its just him being a gentleman and good friend

buys you whatever you want, will even buy you clothes if you talk about needing some new outfits. ends up dressing you up the way he likes and gets turned on seeing you in the outfits he bought for you

“do you think this looks good?” and he’s nodding and trying his best to not pop a boner in front of you

you’re at a party? sungho is gonna be your plus one. he doesn’t even care about your complaints about him “scaring the hoes” cuz you get touchy when you get under the influence and he’s going to be there for you and enjoy the next few hours of you clinging to him

he even lowkey sabotages any relationship you could possibly have, tells people you two are dating/fucking and leaves you to wonder why none of the people you’ve been interested in ever pay you any mind.

when he comes to your house he has to fight the urge to sniff all of your clothes and your sheets. you just smell so good to him, and he knows if he gets a hard enough whiff he might get hard.

when he jerks off, he’s imagining its your hand, he’s imagining what your mouth would feel like wrapped around him, and he imagines how you’d look taking his cock.

goes through your messages together with his phone in hand while the other one is wrapped around his cock, playing back the voice messages you’ve sent him before to help him get off. then once he’s cum to the thought of you he’s calling you and talking to you like nothing happened.

riwoo

shy boy. its a little more obvious that he’s a little pervert, and you’re using that to your advantage.

he’s acting really innocent but he knows exactly what he’s doing. he just might be a little clumsy with it, which is ultimately how you figured out his perv agenda.

gets hard so fast, and you constantly touching him doesn’t help his case at all

you invite him over, he’s running to your bathroom to quickly jerk off. he tries to be quiet, but he fails miserably.

“riwoo? are you okay in there?” you’re smirking behind the door and he doesn’t even realize how obvious it is that he’s in there getting himself off, and by the way he stutters a weak “y-yeah im fine!” you know exactly what he’s doing.

he’s a bed/pillow humper. when you two have sleepovers, and you fall asleep before him, he’s putting a pillow over his dick and softly thrusting into it, even sometimes he’ll do that when you’re awake, just really slowly and subtly so you dont notice. but when you’re asleep, he’s more shameless. eagerly humping the pillow or even humping the mattress while he stares at your sleeping body.

sometimes he’ll just jerk off as fast as he can, staring at your figure while you sleep. he’s edging himself, each time your body twitches or you turn in your sleep he stops touching himself, so close to cumming but he doesn’t want to get caught. he cums quick the nights you wear something loose or something more revealing, because he can move the fabric to see exactly what he needs to get to his climax.

whatever he does while you’re asleep you’re not aware of, but you know that you catch him staring a little too hard at your cleavage sometimes or catch him looking at your ass

touchy with you and he tries to say its just friendly touching, but no friend keeps their hand right at the bottom of their friends back before the curve of their ass, or rests their hands or head on their friends tits when they watch movies.

jaehyun

a little shameless about it, but he’s always scared out of his mind that you’ll find him gross

the flirting he does with you is a bit more flirty than his usual, sometimes leaving you flustered but you mask it well.

“a little kissing never hurt a friendship” while he looks at you with his big puppy eyes. all you can do is stare at him and laugh because no way he’s serious.

“jaehyun… you’re staring at my tits again” “sorry! sorry… they’re just… so nice…” and he’s absolutely not sorry

dirty little panty sniffer. super scared of getting caught though, but he ends up snitching on himself

“definitely wasnt going through your stuff while you were in the bathroom” no one accused you of doing that but if you say so…

touchy as fuck. like youve never met someone as touchy as jaehyun. and you know he means no harm, so you let him cop a feel from time to time

back to the panty sniffing, also a pillow humper. will steal a different pair of your panties each week, ruin them completely and then return them like nothing happened (he’ll wash them first of course, he doesn’t want to get caught)

he even knows about the box you keep in your bedside drawer, the one with your toys in it. jerks off to the thought of you fucking yourself open with your dildo, wishes that he could be the one fucking you instead. wishes he could press your vibrator on your clit while he stretches you out on his cock.

taesan

also a shy perv

but he’s a lot bolder than youd think

thinks with his dick… once his dick twitches his mind goes blank

since he’s tall, he’s definitely using this to his advantage. its a lot easier for him to stare down your shirt with this angle

he might get a little bold sometimes and take a pic under your skirt

has a whole folder of “off guard” photos of you, every time he takes one you’re trying to grab his phone to see the pic but he refuses, telling you that its for his eyes only and that youll try to delete them - whole time he had taken various panty shots and other body pics

steals your panties, goes through your clothes bin and sniffs them until he feels dizzy and his cock is straining in his pants.

he tries to be subtle about everything and he’s mostly successful, never catching him doing anything out of the ordinary and anything he asks you to do for him doesn’t seem too off putting

if you’re complaining to him about a guy you’ve been talking to, he’s asking you what they do that gives you the ick and what they do that makes you like them a little more

he makes sure you’re comfortable with him always, there’s never been tmi between the both of you so you feel comfortable telling him about your sex stories - he listens super intensely, and at night he’s humping his mattress at the thought of fucking you just the way you like, because he knows he’d be better than any of the guys youve been fucking

he’s also cumming loudly with your name leaving his lips repeatedly. he wishes he could send you a pic of his stomach covered in his cum and tell you that you’re the reason he came so much

having trouble deciding what type of revealing pics to send to a guy? taesan is telling you that you should send it to him first, so he can tell you from a guys perspective if its good, and will definitely ask you for multiple pictures for “options”

he couldn’t care less what you sent to someone else, as long as he always got access to the pics first and he was definitely going to be jerking off to them later.

leehan

another shameless perv… but he’s really shameless - he’s touchy, he compliments you, he even purposely tries to get you flustered

once he gets the reaction he wants out of you he’s just laughing, and he’ll go back to doing the same thing over and over

lets you believe he’s just joking around with you, even though he’s so serious

“can i eat you out as a friend?” “leehan stop, you play around too much” and there was absolutely no hint of joking around in his voice

whenever you stay over at his place he tells you that you can leave your old clothes with him, that he’ll wash them for you so you have clothes when you come over

before he washes them he’s definitely jerking off with your panties, he might even put them in his mouth cuz he’s a sick freak like that….

and whenever you two are on the phone he’s most likely going to jerk off to the sound of your voice

“leehan, are you okay?” “m’fine, just keep telling me about your day” and he has to mute his mic when he cums - might be a little bold and let you hear it

with him being touchy, anyone would think you were a couple with how comfortable he was touching you however he pleased - seriously, why was he gripping your ass in the middle of the store?

pet names!! darling, princess, he’ll even call you a good girl sometimes just to gauge your reaction. might ask you to grab something for him and he’s like “such good girl for me” and you’re left feeling hot all over and confused about your feelings (even if leehan was insanely straightforward)

[junior-high-nene-official]

// okay so. therefore you and me and how its ruinene. lets break down the lyrics.

“Hole in the pot, curry with no meat.”

things that are incomplete, u cant have a hole in the pot and curry without meat. its an empty feeling thinking about it, representation of that era where rui felt empty and alone.

“It's not filled up because, There's seconds to have?” Its an optimistic but not believed type of words. its not done or filled because there is always more. it represents a selfish desire of wanting more, or wondering if this is enough. its rui (and or maybe nene) wondering can we be selfish and want, or can we go the way we are now

“A lone chopstick, A lone shoe, A clock without its hands, An unfulfilled relationship.��� rui/nene is the one chopstick. the one shoe. a clock without its hands. incomplete without the other.

“An empty shampoo, or a full garbage bag. Which do you want? You want neither?” do you want to be alone, or be ‘normal’ with terrible friends? you arent alone, but ur still miserable. rui wants neither. nene wants neither.

“Paired up they mean something, My Avatar!” romantic tension between the two. together they feel whole again, a new, better person with each other.

“Its two-in-one, you and me” again as before, they feel whole with each other, theyre one person in the same and theyre whole

“Don't ever let go of whats beloved” hey guys remember the “im working on a solo project”?? yeah??? rui probably regrets that so much, he wont let things go now. not again. hes not gonna be alone anymore. nene wont let people leave lile she did, she wont be a push over on that, she's gonna make them stay and not isolate

“You are love itself!” rui sees nene as love itself. shes not mean. nene sees rui as love itself. hes not weird.

the main chorus is representing the happiness that comes with them being together. with having love. it also shows the opposites, ie living/dying, loving/forgetting, etc. its the hardships of that middle school time they went through.

in short nene and rui should cover this song ruinene real mizuruinene even realer i love them so much lmk if u want a part 2

[dual-fantasy]

So much. Yes. the babyfication of mike(& the rest of the system to an extent) cause hes nervous sometimes and mentally ill makes me so mad. hes a bit of a dick and its okay. let him be a dick. he deserves it. let him be awful and gritty. scike ultimately would fail because of how much they just dont love each other. they end it on awful terms. anytime they're near each other they end up getting in a fistfight. mike kicks his ass every time. he'd have to be physically dragged off scott if anyone cared enough to stop him. jo cheers him on. people only get in the way of it when they realize scott might actually Die and even then its just a suggestion. Also, bit of an unpopular opinion in the fandom but I don't like zoke. I think they'd be friends after the show but they wouldn't date. mike grew a backbone after the show as well. he got cooler i reckon. its the mental illness though he stopped going to therapy after roti(also. i want to talk about how people completely forget that he actively sees a psychiatrist?? he is fucked in the head stop ignoring it) and somewhere through dating scott he just Stops Giving A Shit. he contracted scotts shark rabies or whatever and it made him evil. but its okay cause its mike. let him be evil. he deserves it. let him be mean to people. scike are absolutely awful for each other. their ''relationship'' is messy at most. nobody knows how they started dating it just happened one day. they yell at each other in the furniture displays at big stores and make everyone uncomfortable. they cant hang out together around anyone else cause 30 minutes in they get mad at each other and ruin the mood. actually the fandom interpretation of mike pisses me off so much. he is not a dainty little twink he has abs. that isnt just vitos italian superstrength(funniest fucking thing to me) or whatever hes strong as hell. let him beat someone up. let him be mean. he pushed scott into shark infested waters. he was a stupid boy in love with a pretty girl but hes also a dick. it means so much to me. hes an awful person sometimes and he absolutely deserves to be. half of the total drama fandom can not comprehend a mentally ill guy having complexities that make him a kind of bad person. hes a dog motif in a guard dog way. his bites worse then his bark. i do not frown on him being horrible i think he should be like that more. make mike mean twenty twenty four. td fandoms displayed him in such a horrific way i have to level the scales by making him the horrible person he deserves to be. not even in an angsty way he isn't sad and miserable. he should just be allowed to fuck scott up a lot. let him break some noses. I saw a post about brick and mike(no idea what the ship name is. bike ????) and i think they should be allowed to kiss just a little bit. brick frowns on him getting in fights but he isn't gonna stop it. scott deserves to get beaten up a little. mikes stupid and in love with brick though. tying into the guard dog motif. he comes home soaked in blood(probably scotts. none of its his own) and makes brick dinner cause hes actually the best boyfriend ever. just not to scott. theres no scike happy ending they dont become friends or learn to tolerate each other theyre forever bitter and hateful Grave Dog. i wrote this all in one sitting in 2 minutes i hope its somewhat comprehensible

YOU'RE SO REAL the fanon interpretation of mike actually drives me mad. like fucking insane. I hate it. I think the issue is that people don't want actual mental health representation they want the perks that come with being able to say he's mentally ill without actually having to see what mental illness is. they would rather die than realise nuances in his character. and your right the system has also had this happen but to a lesser extent. I like the fanon system more but only in the way that it's actually researched. in every other way it sucks. Ive seen it happen a lot with svetlana too. Its the obsession with easy troupes and simple characters that are easier to portray. they want characters to be more palletable so they erase their real character for the simplicity. it's bad

I think scike is literally never going to work out. it's always bad and it never improves and they're so terrible. they would never say they'll love eachother but they'll spend every waking moment imagining ways to destroy eachother. it's so bad and so good. mike is actually fucking killing Scott at one point. like his face is three hits from caving in. the only person to bother with helping him is brick because of "moral codes" or something. Cameron also wanted to help but he would get killed like. immediately. not even intentionally he would just get hit and crumple and die. everyone else is cheering them on tho. Anne Maria and B made a betting pool. lightning and dawn are announcing everything that happens like sports commentators.

I do not like zoke either because I don't like the way that Zoey was handled in canon. I think they should've made her weirder. she cannot be the "weird small town loser" if her only weird personality trait is a flower in her hair. she shouldve collected bones and made them into jewellery. they're friends but I can't see them dating. he stops caring after the show (and the reset button doesn't work!! it does not fucking work!! the system is still there!!) and decides to just be terrible. making up for the fanon bullshit my making him worse you're right.

and the Italian superstrength is easily one of the funniest explanations I've ever seen. in anything. Vito doesn't have fucking superpowers y'all mike is strong. he canonically does kickboxing!!! and is very passionate it!!! the show makes a point out of it!!! and also he can do everything that Svetlana can. even if he doesn't have the form or the practice in order to actually do it he could still theoretically do it. because Svetlana can only do what their body allows. mike is fucking jacked and incredibly strong he's just skinny. his ass is NOT a twink you all just hate nuances! he needs to beat up people. he needs to be worse. he needs to be terrible and horrible and cruel

and the guard dog motif is soooo good. weapon that's only used in necessity. bites not for enjoyment but for protection. able to fight but has the morality to restrain himself. he should be allowed to go crazy though. pleaseeee pretty please can he go crazy and silly and insane and violent. you're so real about brick and Mike I think they would be cute.

also DW I write all my posts in 2 minutes too that's why they're all incomprehensible

[1d1195]

hiiii !!! i finished ding and i just jasndjfhkadjadj I ADORE them🥹 they truly are just perfect for each other (girl omggg i NEEEEED a future blurb about the rematch and him winning he deserves it after all that anxiety😭 also you should do something where bc they do a rematch and none of them consider that first fight a real match IF HE WINS THE ONE STRIKE IN HIS LOSS COLUMN SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR LMFAEJFKK)

I WAS SOOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE A TRADITIONAL BLURB !!!!! idk what it is about them but they just have a special place in my heart, i think when you were first posting the series i was just in a really different place in my life, not bad but not really good it was sort of an adjusting period, and i would get on here and read them and they just made me feel sooooo good and it was just a safe place to get lost in and everything. your writing truly is such a blessing thank you so much sam <3

AND THENNNNN last night i couldnt sleep so i was scrolling on here and i saw an anon mention committed and i realized I HADNT READ IT YET so you know i went back and read everything including their blurbs and ohhhh myyyy goodnessss😩😩 THEYRE SOOOOO ADORABLE they way they were just soooooooo down bad for each other ???? i need that otherwise it would never work between me and someone else. THE JEALOUSY BLURB WAS PERFECTION AND THEIR FIRST TIME ?????? AHHHHHHHHH

things are kinda boring on my end, it's officially iced coffee season again and i LOVE THAT. i CANNOT drink it during winter i already tend to run cold so that just pushes me off the edge and i just cant warm up again but now its hot out and im not sick anymore!!🥳 so thats fun

music wise i havent really been listening to anything new but i was on the phone with my sister this morning and i turned on Magic by 1D and its suchhh a fun song😭 ive been feeling more upbeat songs lately and that one has been on repeat ALSO last first kiss :))

hope your doing absolutely amazing lmk whats new with you what've you been up to ??

~🎶

Ahhhhh! Hi! I've been thinking of you! Glad to hear you're not sick anymore! I don't have very many new songs either--I'll have to look! I'm def PMSing so I'm looking for depressing songs to fit my mood rn lol. I'm back on my Noah Kahan kick. MAGIC IS SUCH A BOP. I use it to help me clean my apartment.

I'm so glad you liked Ding and I'm thinking that's a great idea 😉 I'll try to work it in!

That's really sweet about Traditional. It's def the series most people seem to like overall. I'm sorry you were in a tough place but it makes me happy you felt safe here on my little blog. It means a lot to me 💕

I loved Committed! I think it was a random idea (not super suggested) or at least I hope it wasn't because I can't remember. I just liked that TikTok that went with it 😂😂 They were oblivious little cuties for sure. Loved them 💕 SO glad you got to read something knew from me even though I'm def gonna be slow this week! I remember you saying you liked to read finished series so that's probably for the best. They were being annoying part way through if I recall. Not quite a cliffhanger but very Ross-Rachel just shut up and be together sort of thing 😉

I'm SCREAMING about iced coffee season. I drink it year round. My friends send me the snowblower memes during storms that say like "need anything from dunkin?" it's so me. I'm happy for you though! It's like it's officially summer once you start right? That's good news!

Tbh May was really tough for me in about every direction. I'm still kind of overwhelmed with a lot of stuff, but summer is looking more relaxed while still doing a bunch of things. The highlight of the last few weeks was probably reading my trashy romance book and going to a couple book stores and getting more books that I shouldn't have 🤭 It's also POLLEN SEASON around here and it's quite miserable. But it's okay, I will be fine. Just got to get through a few more days of craziness 😅

SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU! LOVE YOU!

xoxo

[winderlylandchime]

you should know that he made me swear that 2x13 does not have the Brian/Ben plot. ‘LOOK AT JUSTIN BEING SLUTTY! I MISSED THEM!..are they like obsessed with comparing Bri Bri and Blondie to Mr Boring and Annoying? Because if so, they are only making me hate those two more’ ‘NO HOW IS JUSTIN GONNA GO TO SCHOOL NOW? His dad fucking sucks. How is he gonna take care of it himself…oh blondie, no offense but your problem solving skills are as good as mine..hes gonna do some stupid shit isn’t he?’ He is visibly more happy about the fact that the Ben and Brian thing is done. ‘BRIAN WANTS TO PAY FOR HIS COLLEGE?!?! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BIG THIS IS?!?! *pauses tv and gets up ON THE COUCH* you don’t understand, let me help you understand! HE BRIAN KINNEY!!! He wants to pay! For his school! So like Justin went to him and was like btw guess what? And brian was like ABSOLUTELY NOT, I GOT MONEY BABY BOY. And he’s insisting on it?!?! The dude that everyone swears is selfish? OH WOW BIG SHOCK THAT HE ISNT! Wait, help me get down. Blondie just take the money! Your man wants to make sure you have a good education..wow now that i think about it, he really does push him for his education a lot. Okay Bri Bri, i see you! You think you’re slick but i figured you out!…of course he’s gonna give him a blowjob.’ ‘DEBBIE DATED A DRAG QUEEN?!?! Makes sense…’ *he has now once again paused the tv lord help me* ‘okay, so theyre at a club. Naked dudes everywhere. And Brian is focused on helping Justin. Like actually helping. From financial aid to his offer. And I’m supposed to be just normal about all this? WHEN IS HE JUST GOING TO ADMIT THAT HE LOVES HIM! For fucks sake Justin, TAKE THE OFFER AND SHUSH! *the go go dancer thing happens* ABSOLUTELY NOT! I mean its a job and a respectful one BUT NO JUSTIN NO! Did you see Brian? HE WAS NOT HAPPY! And that guy gets off on his man fucking others. Justin stop making things difficult for me and just affect the offer!’ I swear this man is taking it personal that Justin went to Sap for a job. ‘Oh this guy sucks. He is gross. Justin go home and just accep- WHAT IS HE DOING? NO. Oh hi Brian! This isn’t as bad as what i just saw Brian. You have no idea what i just saw. It was horrible, please find a way to make him accept your offer. Oh Brian is insanely into Justin doing his school. Oh no someone is about to interrupt them about to fuck (i asked how he knows) THE ELEVATOR! Do you not hear it?!?!’ And now i realized I actually never heard the damn elevator while watching. ‘Melanie…he planned your wedding like two days ago? I would also turn you down for whatever favor is you walked in talking shit about me. Shes gonna pretend to be straight? *looks at me all sad* I know he just said he’s a heterophobe but do you think he’d hate me?..oh the parallel of him trying to make sure Justin stays in college and him willing to play straight to make sure guy goes to school…wait, is that what a parallel is?..no one can convince me this isn’t Lindsays wet dream. She is enjoying this a bit too much. She thought theyd be together? GIRL HES GAYER THAN THE PRIDE FLAG’ ‘NO NO NO JUSTIN NO WHY ARE YOU UP THERE WITH THOSE WINGS…….and those hideous sneakers..they gave you wings but not shoes? Amateurs. Now get off and go home! Oh Brian is miserably PISSED OFF. I love Emmett. My part time job was stealing cigarettes from dad and selling them in school…don’t tell dad. Oh Brian is pissed off, baby, would it kill you to admit that you’re in love?!’ And now he is once again pissed off at Sap. I love that he gets it. ‘NOPE JUSTIN NOPE. I’m all for doing what you gotta do but he really doesn’t have to do shit tho? Oh Brian once again mentioning homework..he cares! HE CARES! Man if i had him in college maybe I wouldn’t drop out..Brian is pissed off. Or worried. Maybe both. My man is talented enough for both’ i should probably mention that he spent the whole ep stressed out of his mind bc of Justin. He is now giving an entire speech about how people like Sap deserve to rot in hell. Idk how hes gonna watch saps party.

DEAR SWEET ANON I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE

Brian *does* push for education a lot. I’ll scream it from the rooftops - education is one of the primary things that sets Brian apart from Michael. Brian went to college and has this fancy job and posh loft and Mikey… is the manager at a Big Q (until he takes over Red Cape) and has a roommate. Brian and Michael come from the same working class background. Brian knows how important education is and he wants the best for his boy (happy sigh).

He was taking it personally when Justin went to Sap for a job. Your brother is in deep.

Oooh yes the cringe scene of Lindsay getting to pretend her fantasy. The writers of this show were so biphobic. They portray Lindsay as some lesbian with a fetish for Brian rather than a proud bi woman. YES BROTHER THAT IS WHAT A PARALLEL IS.

Also loving that he is sad that as a heterophobe Brian might not like him.

Your brother seeing ALL THE SIGNS THAT JUSTIN LOVES HIM. He is so in the fandom.

Brian is talented enough to be pissed AND worried. Yes he is.

Being stressed about Justin - he’s just like his new idol, Brian.

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

OKAY Since i didn't immediately get executed on the spot for saying the word homestuck to you I can't WAIT to do this to you! Okay so! First of all Eichi and keito are definitely moirails! They're friends but theres also a little pity between them. It's a sort of 'i want to protect' thing you know? This makes for the first and simplest part of the square. Now i'm not gonna lie Eichi and Keito are all having one absolute disaster of a kismesis disaster and due to their relationship being disasterous, Keito is the auspice. For example! Keito is a great auspice because he put a wall up between Eichi and Rei's beds to stop them from killing each other in their dorms! But Sometimes Rei and Keito struggle with their past history as a couple who once was in kismesis together. Keito still hasn't forgiven Rei for comitting hateful hateful infidelity with Eichi. HOWEVER it gets more complicated because now we add in Wataru. Wataru is in Kismesis with Keito, Rei, in an effort to repair their quadrants and prevent future fights with Keito, has taken to trying to be their Auspice. This rarely goes well because Rei is almost never awake when needed, thus Wataru will threaten to break Keito's nose and Keito will threaten to shoot Wataru and no ones there to stop them and Eichi thinks its too entertaining to stop them

now Wataru and EICHI have a DEEP red rom going on and are definitely Matesprits, and theyre insufferable. Keito's MAD because he was waxing red for Eichi (rather one sided tragically) and that's the basis of his issues with Wataru. Sometimes they switch places and it's pretty freaking troublesome. Also Keito and Rei are rapidly vascilatting between Red and black romance (kismesis and Matespritship) and that's how they have that special spark of "have been divorced 5 times" that very few couples can really capture. This is all to say, they're all miserable. you might need to get a chart for this honestly.

it's been a while since i've read Karkat's explanation of the quadrants but I hope this helps <3

Hey look i dont know if youve ever read homestuck but looking at the watareikeitotaruthing youhave going on here (delightfully chaotic thank you) i just thought youd find the concept of the "quadrants" absolutely DELIGHTFUL the quadrants being matesprit: basically normal human romance Moirail: sort of a protective sometimes pitying relationship of mutual pity and protection Kismesis: hate hate hate hate but in kind of a oh gross im in love with you too kind of way not quite enemies to lovers though they stay *firmly* enemies theyre just also hopelessly in love and theyre so mad about it* and auspice: the member of the "square' that stops the two in kismesis together from killing each other. they're allowed to 'vaccilate' which is where they sometimes swap roles. a friend and I were discussing it after seeing your profile banner because even by troll standards this is truly a chaotic relationship and I just thought you'd enjoy imagining all the different ways they vaccilate and drive each other crazy-

HELLO????? OH MY GOD?? I had to read this multiple times because I'm just so astounded something like that exists. I don't know anything about Homestuck but I appreciate that you showed me this. I'd assign them some of those but I'm not sure if I'd do it correctly, what is your opinion on it?

[mercy-burning]

Move This Along

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k

Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰

***

The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.

She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.

But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.

To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.

And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.

Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.

She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.

Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."

Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."

"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."

She paused. "They... do?"

"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."

Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.

"You really think so?"

Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'

"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."

A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.

Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.

In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.

One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.

Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."

"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."

Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.

She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."

She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.

Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.

He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.

He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.

"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.

"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"

"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."

She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.

Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.

"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.

Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.

He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.

And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.

So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."

Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.

Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"

Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."

"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.

He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.

"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.

"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."

Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.

***

The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."

"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"

"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."

"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."

Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."

He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.

When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.

His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.

This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.

But tonight he didn't want that.

Tonight he wanted more.

While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.

Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.

Still, she pulled away.

Well... She tried to.

When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.

"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."

"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."

She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."

She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.

"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.

Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.

But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.

So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.

Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."

As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.

Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.

So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.

"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"

The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."

Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.

Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.

And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.

As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.

Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.

"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.

Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"

The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.

He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.

With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.

Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."

"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"

Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.

And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.

He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.

When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.

She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.

He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.

"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."

He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.

To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.

Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.

The mere thought had him trembling.

He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."

Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.

Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.

Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."

He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.

Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.

"W—wait."

She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"

He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."

Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"

Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."

They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.

"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."

Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."

The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—

Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.

"Lay down?"

"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.

Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.

She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"

"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.

It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—

"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.

He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.

But he had to.

She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."

With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.

She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.

"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."

The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.

He wanted to go faster.

So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"

Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.

"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"

"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."

"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."

He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.

His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."

Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."

Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.

By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."

They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.

Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."

She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"

Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."

"Good. This was much better."

Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.

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[cornfarm]

isjeishwish plz tell us more about anzai-chi

like her relationship with the another characters

also ur drawingstyle is 🥺🥺🥺

OMG i'm so happy you asked!!! i'm so happy people care abt her, and thank you!!!! :DD

i'll give some fun facts about her and then talk a bit abt her relationships! i wrote a LOT so i put most of it under a cut! i'll give anyone who reads it all a cookie lol

--

her planets name is mezpria! she calls herself a mezprian.

anzai is usually seen carrying around a mop. she usually has it slung across her shoulders carrying bags. shes very skilled in spearsmanship, so she sometimes swings around her mop for fun, and people with keen eyes for fighting recognize her precision with her strokes.

that being said, she does have a spear! i mentioned that she could channel thunder to strike, this spear is what allows her to do so. when she swings it and a certain speed, it creates a line of static, and lightning will strike whatever connects, or is closest to that line. because of how dangerous it is to be put in the wrong hands, she keeps it under her bed in her apartment.

her extensive use of it during the war is what caused her hearing problems. she's not entirely deaf, but she does miss things if people speak too quietly. she does know sign language! she teaches the yorozuya some so they can gossip about people across the room.

this does mean though, that she fights frequently with simply a mop. it's a similar gag to gintoki's wooden sword, but when people say she's holding a mop, she just tilts her head and says "this is a spear?".

this is her and her spear:

sougo thinks she's funny because hijikata HATES her. he's always pissed off about how she's skirting perfectly around the law, and manages to avoid being arrested. he even hates her more because he really likes a certain type of cigarette she sells. she sells them in packs of 20, and they're made from a type of fermented, then dried wheat from her home planet.

he'll come into the shop yelling about he's "gonna arrest her and she better watch out" while buying cigarettes. the only quality he'll ever admit to liking about her is that she never comments on his hypocrisy, and that she doesn't (outwardly) judge him for his food choices.

other than hijikata, the rest of the shinsengumi is relatively neutral about her. sougo does find her antics very amusing. he definitely comes to her shop like "miss anzai will you please teach me how to roll cigarettes <3" and then puts cyanide in one for hijikata. then when it's the one she picks up to smoke he punches her so that she doesn't. maybe he hangs around because he can sense how mischevous she is.

she's always eager to teach people things about her culture and how she runs her shop! as much as she's eager to teach sougo, she also ends up teaching shinpachi and kagura lots of stuff as well. she would never say she's maternal, or a mother figure, but there's something about the way she explains things, and brings them food, and gives advice that get a "thanks mom".

sometimes she gets it from gintoki too, but when he says it she looks at him very sadly. she HATES being called mom and scolds them for it.

speaking of gintoki, i'm tired of a harem, so he likes her! it's entirely unclear to everyone if she reciprocates. she shows just enough interest to suggest she might have feelings, but she's so distant it's hard to tell. even though his kids tease him by saying shit like "please don't lower your standards to someone as low as him," to her, theyre all secretly rooting for him.

she initially met them because she needed some people to help her move and decorate her shop. they asked her why she didn't hire a moving company instead. she says there wasn't a particular reason, but she had been lingering outside their shop for a solid week before talking to them. they definitely noticed and were like "whats with this chick", especially cause she would just stand there and stare up at the sign trying to muster the courage. she really wanted to meet people and try to make some friends!

she pays them so well they actually do an okay job! anzai thanks them, and tells them they're allowed to come by anytime, and she'll give them a discount for anything they'd like. they come by very often, gintoki particularly likes the alcohol she sells, as a lot of it is very sweet, so they frequently drink together at night.

she also brings them food often. it's an easy way for her to express gratitude and affection. she's pretty poor at cooking japanese food at first, but she learns quickly!

her and gintoki have a lot in common, the biggest aspect of their relationship being their sense of humor! she's always amused by the things he says, and it's very reciprocated. he likes that her humor is so similar- they end up bonding really quick. they do banter a bit, but a lot of their interactions are enabling each other. he teases her a lot.

kagura and shinpachi don't like the way they talk to each other. kagura says their weirdness rubs off on each other too much, whereas shinpachi is simply baffled about how there's someone who can match his energy so well.

heres a silly comic i made:

anzai does give him these judgemental looks sometimes, but they're done playfully. when he does cross a line and piss her off, she just disappears, always managing to be away when he looks for her. when they fight it's miserable to watch because gintoki's too stubborn to talk to her, and she's too freaked out by emotional confrontation.

they're all very thankful anzai is a little bit responsible and always makes up with them. gintoki frequents her shop and is like, "hey, i'm not here for you. give me 5 of those little bread things, three of them strawberry and the other two peach. that's what i'm here for, not for you. are you free later?" and then lingers around way too long.

she tries to give otae cooking lessons, masked by a "let me teach you how to make a classic mezprian dish ^__^" in an attempt to alleviate shinpachi from his despair. she manages to screw up even simple recipes so she just shrugs at him.

one time katsura's ronin try to assassinate her because they heard crazy rumors about her war crimes and exploits and she just looks at him like "can you stop trying to kill me please." eventually he's like "my bad lol we heard a bunch of crazy rumors about you" and she's like "those are all true :)"

she gets very silly and happy when drunk, so her and gintoki have a lot of fun drinking together. although sometimes she tries to tackle him, she doesn't have the arm strength when she's drunk, so he always ends up just swinging her around. she's definitely gotten a concussion at some point.

she also tends to crash with him, so when shinpachi sees her sneaking out in the early morning she always gaslights him into thinking he was seeing things.

hasegawa, gintoki, and her gamble often! she's pretty well off so she's not too worried about money, so she just thinks its fun. when they tell her to start stripping so they can continue gambling something away and she's like "absolutely not" and then takes her apron off.

i feel like i've spoken really only highly of her, but despite how she's generally liked and beloved by many, she's painfully distant. she's always a few steps out of reach from everyone, and because of that she feels like an outsider. heres another drawing of her:

most people call her anzai(-san), but otae and hasegawa call her yae, while kagura calls her yae-chan. sougo commonly calls her boss, and gintoki calls her a slew of shitty nicknames, most commonly with her lastname, since it uses the kanji for "toki". she calls almost everyone by their first name with no honorifics.

AND THATS IT!!! i can definitely think of a hundred more scenarios with her and different cast members but i've already written so much ;__;

if you've read this far i'm giving u ur cookie of choice

[wearethewinx]

fate episode 6 spoilers below

admittedly that opening shot slaps. like that immediately makes me curious

bloom why are you looking. everywhere but at the glowing pillar in front of you

LOL WHOOPS

AISHA ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. WRITERS ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. THIS IS NOT MY GIRL

lol dowling thats what happens when u liiieeeeee

jfdlsfjlds terras dad being so stumped by her completely correct rebuttal that he just says 'you need to cool down'

'sorry you have to be visible to have a point of view' that line really made it into the script huh

theyre REALLY gonna make aishas first and only autonomous act in this entire show be to snitch on her friends

oh so there are witches huh. is that how were doing this huh. oh my god this is so unnecessarily complicated and confusing? this is. ridiculous? why wouldnt anyone else know about the witches? how does them being witches give rosalind the right to murder them all? HOW IS BLOOM OK WITH THIS LADY JUST SAYING 'yeah i lied and killed them all because only fairies are allowed to do magic' HWAT THE FUCK

*sky voice* i am literally so fucking stupid and boring its unreal

lol even sam is like 'terra shut up'

see i dont wanna be so mean to terra but shes explicitly written to be as annoying as humanly possible? people keep telling her theyre not interested and she just mows right over them completely not caring EVERY time

oh bloom is growing a braincell now huh

'only vanessa and michael could give you love' YOU CALL THAT LOVE? YOU CALL THAT SHIT LOVE? WHERE ARE THE WRITERS ILL FUCKING KILL THEM

me, every time: weve gotta be getting close to the end now right weve been here at least forty minutes

the timestamp, every time: 21:30

HOW is it possible for a show to drag this much? six hours feels like 18

nobody told the caption writer that rivens name is riven not 'riv'

stella being like 'WE shouldve never gotten back together WE are codependent and toxic' gurl,,,,,,,, You

rly have to stress that bloom listened to rosalind talk and was like 'oh genocide? well thats totally understandable, i trust you implicitly. here i was thinking you were just a regular mass murderer!'

WHY ARE THERE NO MAGIC PAINKILLERS. WHY IS THE ONLY WAY TO EASE SOMEONES PAIN FOR MUSA SPECIFICALLY TO TAKE IT ON

ALSO TERRA FUCK. YOU. FOR EVEN THINKING THAT, MUCH LESS SAYING IT OUT LOUD

how does the solarian royal family have a magic teleportation ring but they cant move troops across their country in less than 2 days

*bloom voice* come on sluts im gonna put you all in danger

PLEASE let sky miserably wail 'YOU KILLED MY FATHER' please god let it happen PLEASE

damn ok i actually REALLY like skys reaction here. unironically well written, very believable. even a stopped brain has good ideas twice an episode i suppose

love that musa only gets dignified with the slightest sliver of backstory in this, the final episode

STILL only HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE. THIS IS SICK TIME DILATION FUCKERY

flora isnt supposed to be the loose canon of the winx for fucks sake

ok but WHAT ARE THE BURNED ONES. WHERE ARE THEY FROM. WHY DO THEY CARE ABOUT BLOOM. EVEN SHE HASNT ASKED YET! ARENT YOU CURIOUS ISNT ANYBODY CURIOUS

bloom: yeah rosalind unleashed the burned ones to attack us all but i totally trust that she told me the truth about how to stop them

blooms wings look FUCKING STUPID those arent even wings theyre just random red blobs with a mesh pattern

i guess im glad we actually GOT wings but my god is this a disappointment as wings go

also @ everyone in the tag calling this a 'transformation': are we watching the same fucking show lol. having fire swirl around you isnt a transformation. TRANSFORMING. is what makes it a transformation. absolutely nothing changes about her except having a couple blowtorches on her back

CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT BLOOM KEEPS HEARING PEOPLE ADMIT TO MURDER AND RESPONDING WITH 'OH it was just MURDER lol thank god'

'bloom transformed' nO SHE DIDNT THAT WASNT A TRANSFORMATION OH MY GOD

ok but why WOULDNT rosalind reveal exculpatory information when it benefited her lol. why are you idiots believing her. why are you accepting that as a justification

'ive been a brat' OH SO YOU ADMIT IT

'can we hug' very normal request bloom especially considering the circumstances /s

my mom would flip her lid if i invited four friends over w/o asking in advance and then put her on the spot abt whether they can stay the night, and thats WITHOUT the added context that BLOOMS MOM THINKS THESE ARE HER SCHOOL FRIENDS FROM S W I T Z E R L A N D AND THAT THEY WOULDVE HAD TO FLY ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET THERE

this bloom family montage is 1: unearned (i remember the door, assholes) and 2: TOO long and cheesy

i love that stellas mom still hasnt admitted shes missing or come looking for her lol. the HEIR to the THRONE has been MISSING for WEEKS and thats just Okay

lmao what the fuck. how is andreas wearing the same clothes as 16 years ago. anybody care to explain what the goddamn hell is going on here

dragonflame namedrop huh? interesting

LOL EVERYONES JUST ACCEPTING ROSALIND BACK WITHOUT QUESTION? SHE DISAPPEARED AND WAS PRESUMED DEAD FOR 16 YEARS

HOW STUPID ARE THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

THE KING OF ERAKLYON. ABANDONED HIS SON. TO RAISE BEATRIX

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL

omg she just fucking killed her

absolutely metal

ah HERE are the hideous outfits from the promo image. hate

final thoughts: this show is dumb

[milkhwi]

detective! jeno

summary: you’re still trying to get the hang of your new internship while following around the best detective in town- lee jeno. who also figured out he stole your heart

genre: FLUFF & slight angst?? + sum comedy too

a/n: back on the grind. kinda. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE JENO!!

masterlist

-

Lee Jeno. everyone in the police department KNOWS who he is and it’s like a big ass department??? like damn mr. popular

BESIDES him being known for being able to solve cases in like a heartbeat exaggeration

he’s also known for looking stone cold yet his handsome face like omg wHO WOULDNT FALL FOR HIM

at first he looks VVV intimidating because especially during the job?? he hardly smiles??? he’s so strict AND SCARY then again uh not the type of job you’d smile in

but once he smiles EVEYONE MELTS FOR HIM global warming who???

like sometimes a few coworkers would go to work early in order to talk to him at his station since he’s like always the first one there

it’s honestly like a bunch of highschoolers going to school early in order to talk to the cutest guy before class starts and he doesn’t really mind it but jaemin and renjun tease him about it the most

“JENO STOP GIVING THEM THAT SMILE THEYRE GONNA THINK YOURE IN LOVE WITH THEM TOO” -renjun

“JENO MAKE THOSE MOVES” -jaemin

like once he’s in his office he starts to get so serious and very concentrated but everyone gets heart eyes by just looking at him i’m looking at u secretary

but no matter how many people are straightforward about liking him or asking him to out he’s like sorry can’t,, gotta solve some investigations but he’s just trying to reject them nicely

ANYWAYS so his police department was looking for interns and you and some friends decide to apply because that’s the best place you could ever apply to

and you’re like pls accept me pls accept me pls accept me

and YOU AND ONE OTHER FRIEND GET IN AND ITS LIKE YAY!!!

but then your friend lee donghyuck who knows eVERYHTING is like ouu you guys should try staying away from lee jeno. he’s scary when it comes to the investigations. and both of you KNOW who he is and like gulp please don’t make him my supervisor

anyways it’s your first day and you and your friend are nervous because yikes this workforce lowkey kinda dangerous but :DD WORTH IT

then you get all your docs from the secretary and you’re like so who’s my supervisor¿?

“lee jeno“ hahahhaha :,( pls say sike

so then you and your friend part ways and you knock on jenos office, very scared

“come in” phew so far so good

and the hand you’re holding your documents is shaking and you grip it harder to stop the shaking but it makes it worse

and you get closer to him, “hi um,,, my name is y/n and uhhh you’re my supervisor for the time being haha”

and his face lights up and he smiles at you and you’re like damn an angel but then you’re like snap outta it

“oh nice to meet you! i’m lee jeno i hope we can get along well” and internally you’re like damn haechan was wrong huh he’s an angel

so a few days into your internship it’s not that bad?? just some paperwork so you’re like oh this isn’t that bad

plus since you’re stuck in jenos office it’s pretty good since you glance at him every 10 seconds and you’re like damn he was sculpted by gods huh

and you find it cute when he doesn’t understand some documents he has a little pout and you’re like AHHHHHHH SO !! CUTE !! and when he figures it out he HAS THAT ICONIC EYE SMILE AND HIS EYES ARE SPARKLY

and you try not to stare at him when that happens but you can’t you really can’t he’s so wow your heart skips a beat when he smiles ?? and you’re like ?? haha what’s going on with me

and you and jeno are usually the ones who also have to stay late to finish all the paperwork and he’s like “sorry for having you to stay really late ://“

and you’re like “no! no! no! it’s fine!!! i’m used to it anyways” and it’s already the end of week 1 and you don’t think it can get worse than this

n e ways work seems simpler and like that’s not how detectives are sO jeno now takes you to crime scenes since he has another helping hand and this week jeno is so serious?? and cold?? like um where did his smile go

but you help him with a lot of stuff and the crime scene honestly is a bit scary since the murderer is still out there buut it’s ok you’re ok

and you help jeno around the crime scene trying to gather more evidence and you’re like jesus the atmosphere is really dark you can’t breathe like it’s kinda scaring u a lil so you crack a slight joke to lighten the mood up

and jeno just glares at you and you go !!! big mistake and he’s scolding u “please take this seriously there’s no time to joke around” and his voice is a slightly deeper than usual like harsh and now the atmosphere feels darker and you’re like welp great

but besides that you feel your kinda shatter like oh :((( that was a bad idea why’d i do that omg am I DUMB or am I DUMB HE PROBABLY HATES ME NOW

anyways you’re like “sorry” with a sad tone almost to the point your voice cracks but you gulp and go back to trying to find evidence and writing stuff down

and not long after you’re like ?? hm think i found something and you call jeno over and you’re about to touch the evidence and he quickly grabs your hand and is like “don’t touch it !!” and your eyes widen because YOU DIDNT EXPECT THAT??

but thank god the lights were slightly dim because his hand was warm and soft and you feel butterflies in your stomachs LIKE AHHH?!!!! and your face heating up and you look back at him

and jeno looks back at your hand and quickly pulls away and is like oops sorry

and you’re like i-it’s fine obviously trying not o stutter but failing miserably

but jeno is blushing too like omg what did i do

but then you guys gather the piece of evidence + scan the whole scene again one more time

and then you guys head back to jenos office to try and pull things together

but as you’re walking you recall how warm his hand felt and you shake the feeling off and grab both your hands to keep them warm since it’s still early spring and you’re slightly shivering

and jeno notices and is like “oh um are you cold ??” and you nod and he clears his throat and grabs one of your hands and puts them on his jackets pocket and saying “i hope this kinda helps you” and you feel your blush coming back again because!!!!! THIS IS WHAT COUPLES SHOULD DO EXCUSE ME

and you’re dYING but luckily it’s kinda dark out so he can’t see your face turning into a tomato and you just give him a smile

and then once you guys are inside the building he lets go and you’re like :(( my hand feels lonely again pls hold it

but then you’re like WHAT AM I THINKING I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM you do

and like you guys finish early and head home and you can’t sleep because you remember the FEELING OF JENOS HAND ON YOURS and it makes your heart burst

on the other hand you’d think for a detective jeno would KNOW IF HE LIKES YOU OR NOT but he’s also overly confused cue jaemin and renjun face palming

anywaYs a few weeks pass and you guys are assigned a new place to investigate so you get over there early in the morning and then you stop right in front of jenos office because you hear someone else

and then that voice is like “i like you jeno for a really long time and i hope you’re able to give me a chance” and your heart drops and you’re like oh because the rumors about the secretary planning on confessing to jeno were true and you couldn’t deny they had good chemistry and they’d make a really good looking couple

so then you like wait outside the building sighing not knowing why and wondering if jeno accepted her confession or not and you shake it off and wait for jeno so you guys can leave

inside the crime scene you’re just quiet and trying to focus on looking for evidence and the atmosphere feels so off but jeno doesn’t even notice it

and afterwards you guys go back to his office you’re also silent and he’s kinda like ??? but maybe because you had to wake up early

and then you decide to leave early and jenos like oh okay and you’re moping as you leave and you call donghyuck to hang out and he’s like damn who broke your heart

and you’re like NO ONE it’s just,,, idk why i’m sad it was after i accidentally heard the secretary confess to jeno

and it clicks to haechan and he’s smirking and you’re like what spill it

“so you fell for detective jeno huh”

and you’re like no !!! and start blushing

and he’s like omg are you dense you’re an intern for a DETECTIVE COME ON

and you’re like you’re right,, but it’s too late since he’s probably with her now :(((

on the other hand detective! jaemin and renjun keep eyeing eachother because jeno keeps talking about you and how you looked sad today

but at the same time they’re like wait . lee jeno?? falling for someone???

and then renjun is like “you’d think for a detective you’d know if you’re into someone or not”

“does she like you back though??” jaemin curiositly asks

“i,,,, i don’t know?!?!??” AND THEY BOTH GASP BECAUSE?? HELLO THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF CLUES AND HES A DETECTIVE

and now it’s jenos goal to figure out if you like him or not with the help of detective! renjun and jaemin

step 1: try to see if they avoid you or making eye contact

so he sees you next to the printer resting on the wall and walks over and places his arm against the wall and basically pinning you there and your eyes widen and you look anywhere but at jeno aND YOURE LIKE UM UHH GOTTA GO

step 2: try to see if they blush if you make a sudden move

and during one of the investigations he hears you calling him over and he pokes your elbow causing you to turn around and your faces are inches away and suddenly you’re a tomato again and jeno teases and is like omg are you gonna have a fever?? and he touches your forehead and you’re so warm he tries not to giggle at how cute you look

and during all of this donghyuck is sipping his tea while you freak out about all the things jeno has done to you and you’re like jeno is gonna give me a stroke and he’s gonna be the one trying to SOLVE WHO CAUSED IT EVEN THO IT WAS HIM

but this plan ultimately helped jeno figure it out and now he’s gonna ask you out because wow his detective skills really helped him out

so one cold late day after going to another crime scene he thinks it’s the perfect timing since the sun is about to set too and you’re shivering but looking at the sky and jeno gives you his coat

and you pause and you’re like “aren’t you gonna be cold??” and he’s like “my hands are kinda cold” and you’re like damn kinda wanna hold your hands but that will lead me to cardiac arrest but your hands brush against eachother and you’re like goddamnit and you wrap his hand against yours and you’re like blushing madly and he smiles at you

and you’re like “better??” and he shakes his head and both of you stop walking and says “now my lips feel cold” and like you guys are really close anywhos so you gotta close the gap

and you’re like hsjdjsiis i’m not that bold bUT STILL and he’s giving that cute small pout and you’re fighting the urge so you bite your lips slightly

but then jeno just pecks your lips

and your heart?? goes 127mph

and he’s like i know it’s sudden but i like you

and you’re speechless?? because lee jeno??? liking someone??? actually?? and your mind is in chaos but you go ahead and peck his lips for 5 seconds and then you’re like “i- i- i like you too” and he pulls you into a hug and says “thank god because i really put my detective skills to work on this case”

[71tenseventeen]

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)-8

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7

Warnings for sexual content, male pregnancy, non-hockey Sid. Sid and Taylor’s ages have been altered to fit the story.

Perpetual credit to my betas, @queen-alia and @icosahedonist as well as the GC and @ljummen.

They meet at a quiet pizza place at Sid’s suggestion.

As soon as Sid sees Geno on the sidewalk he realizes it was a mistake. He already has people stopping him and Sid can see the stress lines around his eyes as he glances up and back to the people around him.

Sid has no idea what the protocol is but he suspects it’s better if he stays out of all of that so he tips his head toward the door of the restaurant and ducks in, grabbing them a table in the corner of the dark, quiet dining room.

It takes another ten minutes before Geno finally ducks into the restaurant looking very harried but at least he’s alone. He immediately spots and heads for Sid, carefully avoiding eye contact with the handful of other patrons. He gets stopped anyhow and politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with a family of four before he finally makes it to the table looking more than a little stressed.

“Sorry, Sid. I was hoping since it Tuesday afternoon would maybe not be such a big problem.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should have known. Next time we’ll figure something else out, okay?”

Geno nods, looking very grateful.

“So…” they both start after an awkward moment and it breaks the tension. Sid gives a quiet laugh and Geno’s face softens.

Sid thinks maybe, finally, they can relax.

Of course that’s when a waiter arrives at their table and starts his welcome spiel before stopping completely and exclaiming, “Whoa! Geno! Hey man!”

“Hello,” Geno says cordially, but Sid can see the lines forming around his eyes again.

The waiter, “Braden,” he informs them as he shakes Geno’s hand and ignores Sid completely, is grinning ear to ear and turns long enough to call in the general direction of the kitchens. “Yo, Frank! You gotta get out here! We got Geno Malkin in the house!”

Sid sees Geno slump in defeat and sits quietly as he politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with what must be every staff member there… and a couple of construction workers who hadn’t bugged him when he came in. As far as get-togethers go, this is a disaster.

Geno finally asks Braden to please give them a minute with the menu and turns to Sid with a pinched expression, talking low and fast. “Sid, okay if we get food to go? I take us somewhere private to eat and talk. Don’t think this going to work.” He says it like he’s asking permission and Sid feels terrible.

“Yeah, of course.”

That’s all it takes for Geno to motion Braden back over.

It takes another twenty five minutes before they’re actually leaving the restaurant with bags of food and a pizza, Geno having left a generous tip.

He pulls his hat down over his eyes and seems to be trying to hunch in on himself even though there was no way someone that big is going to be able to hide. Sid follows quietly and they make it to Geno’s car with only a couple of people stopping him. As soon as Geno slides into the driver’s seat, he drops his head back and lets out a deep breath.

“Really sorry, Sid.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for suggesting this place.”

“Not be sorry. Let’s just go eat. Hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Geno turns to him with furrowed brows. “You ok? Need to eat and drink now?”

“No, I can wait. I feel okay.”

Geno’s face relaxes a little then and he nods. “Okay.”

He takes them to the arena. It’s the last place Sid expected to find himself but it makes sense. When they go in, no one does anything more than give him a wave. Certainly no one seems concerned that he’s toting a bunch of takeout bags and has a stranger trailing along beside him.

And that’s how Sid finds himself eating pasta and pizza in the Penguins’ team kitchen.

It’s Sid’s turn to be jumpy, glancing nervously at the door every few seconds until Geno explains, “No practice here today. Not expect anyone around or I take us to private conference room.”

Sid breathes out in relief. “Okay.”

“So—” they both start again and Geno laughs.

Maybe this won’t be as bad as Sid feared.

Geno is enthusiastic about any mention of the baby and wants to know all about Sid’s appointments with the ‘baby doctor.’  He listens to every tiny detail—from the baby’s heart rate to Sid’s blood pressure—with rapt attention and asks what seems like a hundred questions.

Sid doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have a conversation about the pregnancy that isn’t revolving around what a crisis it is.

He likes how easy it is to talk once they’re relaxed, that Geno actually takes interest in his life. He isn’t just asking questions to have something to talk about—he genuinely listens to Sid’s answers and asks more questions, seeming to want to know everything he can.

He asks about Sid’s studies at the university and Sid spends several minutes talking about the courses he plans to take and his plan to teach someday. In turn, Sid asks him about hockey and they spend a good half an hour talking about the upcoming season. Geno seems pleasantly surprised at Sid’s interest and knowledge.

From there the conversation turns back to the pregnancy and Geno asks if Sid has talked to his family in the last couple of days. “For a few minutes last night. I told them I told you about the baby.”

Geno fiddles with the edge of his cup. “They know is me?”

“No. I didn’t tell them that much.”

“What they say when you tell them I know?”

Sid shrugs. “Not much. My parents are still hoping I’ll change my mind, I guess. But my sister is happy.”

“Glad you have her, at least. Hope your parents come around.”

“What, um, what about your parents? Did you, um, tell them about…?” Sid glances down at his midsection.

“I not tell them yet, no.”

“Oh. Right.” Sid’s not sure what he expected and he works hard to push back the pang that’s threatening to bubble up inside him

“Going to tell them, Sid.”

“You don’t have to.”

Geno frowns. “Not keep something like this secret from them. Is just hard, try to figure out how to say. Worry how they respond.”

“You think they’ll, ah, be upset?”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Maybe. Probably.” He takes a deep breath. “Mama, Papa very close to me but they not really know about my private life. Just not sure how they react when they find out, you know.”

“Find out about the baby or…?” Sid feels like it probably doesn’t need to be said.

Geno nods. “In Russia, be with guy very bad. Not safe.”

“Yeah,” Sid swallows hard. For the first time he’s thinking about consequences beyond the scope of Pittsburgh and the NHL and he’s suddenly grateful he’s from Canada.  

“Not something I need to tell them before but now…”

“Right. Now I’m pregnant and fucked that up for you.”

Geno looks up and grabs Sid’s wrist. “You not fuck anything up, Sid. Take two people make this happen. Was my choice, too and I’m not regret.”

“Well, I’ll understand if you decide not to tell anyone. I mean, I’d get it.”

“Not going to be that way. Just have to figure out best way. Maybe not be easy but I do because it’s important. Besides, better to tell now than someone here find out and they hear in press.”

Sid looks up, struck again by all the things weighing on Geno with this pregnancy.

“I guess we should probably be more careful around town, too. I mean, if it got out it would be bad.”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Would be very bad. Here, maybe not as much but Russia… I probably can’t go back.”

“Oh god.  You can’t—” Sid shakes his head. Somewhere in his mind he knew it but hearing it like this brings it into stark contrast. “I can’t be the person responsible for that. I won’t tell anyone, Geno. I promise.”

“Not the kind of thing to keep secret forever. Eventually, baby born and grow. Seem impossible to keep thing like this secret.”

“We’ll do it, we’ll find a way.”

Geno shakes his head. “You really want that? Not so sure I do.”

Sid’s heart sinks. “What do you mean?”

“Even if we could keep total secret, what kind of life that be for our baby? What kind of life that be for us? Maybe not ideal and maybe some hard consequences but still a baby, still going to be child for us to raise. Our baby, Sid.”  To Sid’s surprise, Geno smiles and it fills him warmth.

“Only know for two days and already think about baby growing up. Want to teach him to skate and play hockey, want to take him to family skate and bring him to games.”

Sid realizes he’s smiling too. “Him?”

Geno’s grin brightens. “Have a feeling.”

“What if it’s a girl?”

“Not matter. Do all same thing. All that matter is she our baby, our family.” Geno’s smile stretches across his face. “We gonna get to love our little baby and watch him grow up. Maybe hard, little bit scary now but gonna be worth it, you know?”

And Sid suddenly has to blink back tears because in all the time he’s known about the pregnancy, he’d never felt like he could talk about his future with his baby, that he could look forward to it. It had hurt that everyone saw this as a burden, nothing but a crisis to manage. But now Geno is saying things out loud that Sid has barely felt allowed to even think privately.

“Yeah.” Sid has to swallow. “I do,” he breathes and he means it.  

“Wouldn’t trade for anything now that I know, Sid. Don’t care what happen.”

“But what about the team? The NHL, Russia?”

Geno meets his gaze. “We figure it out. Not want you worry about it, okay? Just focus on take care of you and take care of baby. Most important.”

Sid sighs. “I’ll try. I, um, I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days.”

Geno’s face lights up and Sid’s glad he told him. “When? Maybe I find way to go?”

“Friday at three.”

Geno frowns. “Have meeting.”

“Oh. Well, I…”

“I’m sorry.”

Sid takes a deep breath and forces himself to look at Geno. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you have responsibilities. Honestly, the fact that you care at all means a lot. So, don’t worry, okay?”

Geno nods, looking a little miserable. “You call me, tell how it goes?”

“For sure.”

“Maybe we get together after?”

Sid smiles because this is just all so much more and so much better than he ever expected. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Geno drives Sid back to where he’d parked earlier. It’s still crowded and Sid knows they can’t linger with Geno idling in a no parking zone so he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and pushes it into Geno’s hands before he gets out of the car.

“What this?”

“It’s not all of it, not even close but it’s part of what I owe you.”

Geno frowns. “Sid…”

“Not negotiable. See you Friday.” He closes the door before Geno can reply

Part 9

[linkeai]

that’s kinda hot → wang linkai / xiao gui ( nine percent ) → summary: summer school is fun, and at first, neither is the obnoxious boy who gets seated next to you who takes a weird liking to you. → warning(s): swearing, mentions of illness, canadian school terms? idfk → genre: fluff, the teensiest bit of angst → word count: 3,751 → notes: hi i love this and it may or may not be inspired by the boy i temporarily fell in love when i went to summer school :)

so... you suck at math

you knew you sucked at math pretty much your entire life, and you knew you were still going to suck this year when you started your grade 11 math class

but you didn’t think you sucked so bad that you would fail the class entirely

but, alas, thinking was not your strong suit

because your final mark in math 2201 was 32 :)

and you were NOT repeating a year, and you were not taking the god-awful supplementary exam, 

so summer school was pretty much the only option you had left

and your parents may as well have put a gun to your head with the way they said you had BETTER pass this time

bc summer school isn’t exactly cheap!!

so you went off with equal parts terror and determination in your heart

summer school was only a month long, and you’d already sort of done the course already

so you were feeling pretty good about your chances

until you arrived on the first day :)

the place was a janky looking middle school filled with people that divided into two groups;

group a) the ones like you who were already over it and just wanted to get your credits and get the hell out

and group b)… came in shouting at each other and being generally obnoxious and we’re treating it like they’d just arrived at the party

one boy in particular stood out to you.. not because he was probably the most obnoxious one in the bunch, but because he was kind cute even when he was screaming some nonsense

and as if it was your luck.. when you got sorted into your classes and took your seats, he plopped down right beside you

who in the name of god thought it was a good idea to have two seats pushed together in the rows in an actual summer school, you didn’t know

you just knew that when the teacher told you that these were your seats for the remainder of the month, he turned and gave you a grin that made you realize that there was, in fact, a fate better than summer school

and it was death

summer school is extremely fast paced so class started pretty much five minutes after you were seated

so you took out your notebook and your little pencil case and got ready to inject yourself with some mathematical knowledge

when this dude taps on your shoulder

you don’t even say anything you just like at him like don't you fucking dare ask for paper

and so he asks for some paper

and you’re like yeah man for sure! and tear out a few sheets and give it to him

he gives you the BIGGEST, the DUMBEST smile you have ever seen

and you would never in a hundred years admit that it made your heart do several things.

and the paper… the paper was your first mistake.

the teacher started explaining some of the topics of the first unit when he taps his pencil (thank god he at least had a pencil) on your desk

and you just.. fill with dread bc PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE I NEED TO LISTEN OR MY PARENTS WILL LITERALLY RUIN MY LIFE

and you’re like yeah… what….

and he asks what your name is 

and you’re like???? it’s y/n

and he does the smile again and … oof

he tells you his name is linkai and you just awkwardly bob your head and turn toward the front again

and linkai has the GALL to tap on your desk again and maybe you’re being a liiittle hot-tempered but in your head, its like W H AT THE FUCK DO YO U WANT DUDE

and this boy has the audacity to look you in the eyes and say “you’re kinda cute.”

your brain short-circuits at the same time your heart goes into overdrive

and you can’t really do much else but stare at him for a long minute and just as you’re about to answer him, you hear a loud yell from the front of the classroom.

“you two! is this gonna be a problem? seriously?”

“no ma’am!” the two of you say in perfect unison

and class carries on

the classes last about four-ish hours every day

and for the ENTIRE first day

linkai is doing sometHING to test your sanity

when he’s not humming, he’s drumming a beat on the desk,

when he’s not trying to make conversation with you, he’s whispering little side comments about the lesson 

and you’re too afraid to tell him to stfu because he’s still really hot and you’re a little intimidated

and this goes on for the next three days of the first week until you snap

he turns to you and he’s like, “y/n, your hair looks really good today.”

and you slowly turn, look him dead in the face and say very slowly; “if you don’t shut the fuck up, i’m going to beat you to death with this calculator”

the next few seconds pass like several eternities, where you revel in the thinly veiled shock and terror in his eyes

until a cheeky grin slowly spreads across his face, and he says, shamelessly;

“that’s kinda hot.”

and at that moment, you turn back to the board and take a long, agonizing moment to grieve over both your two precious math credits as well as your life which your parents will inevitably soon take from you

things get so much weirder after that

you think he goes from talking to you to entertain himself to actually liking you after your feisty little outburst

and you quickly learn that when linkai likes someone he’s … extremely odd

but?? kind of adorable?

the weirdest thing he does is he starts bringing you ‘gifts’

and it's so creepy but so ridiculously endearing when he pulls a bouquet of crumpled dandelions out of his bag and hands them to you

theres a few ants crawling on them and they’re ruined from being in his backpack

he hasn't even put anything on them to hold them together

and you’re not really sure if you want to thank him or not but you do anyway because like.. c’mon man

and he’s looking at you with those puppy dog eyes

so you say “thanks, linkai. these are uh.. nice.”

theyre really not but when his eyes kinda light up a little and he turns away with red ears and hides his smile in his hoodie you’re like.. these are the most beautiful flowers i have ever seen in my entire life

and that, my friend, was your second mistake

he brings you a new gift every day

one time it was half of a cookie from the gas station mcdonalds down the road

once it was an actual fucking newt like a little lizard that he found somewhere and you literally begged him to keep it for himself

another time it was an eraser shaped like a cupcake that was very clearly used

but you kept every single present he gave you

except for the lizard because what the genuine fuck dude

he also comes up with new nicknames for you every day

and they’re even cringer than they were the day before every time without fail

he strolls into the room, plops down beside you and hands you your daily present with a “good morning, ___”

the blanks thus far include, honey, darling, sweetiepie, cupcake, pumpkin, gumdrop, cutie patootie, my cinnamon apple, munchkin

and you don't know why you look forward to seeing what he comes up with next

and even the very worst of the presents and the nicknames make your heart flutter

and you realize you are slowly becoming whipped for this weird kid

and that this is very bad because you’re literally desperate to pass this class and its hard when you spend all your time waiting for his next comment or thinking about him being next to you

but like a dummy, you don't ask to be moved and you don’t even ask him to shut up

well you do, you regularly tell him to shut up but this man takes insults like compliments and it seems to feed into this idea that you like him

which you do but that's none of his damn business

and about halfway through that short month of school, you realize you’re not going to be ready for the exam

you start losing sleep over it because this is really not good

and you also realize that this isn’t linkai’s fault, really, you can’t push the blame onto him because you didnt want to ask to be moved away from the cute boy

and that makes you feel even worse

so you come into school one day looking about as miserable as you feel

you actually get there after linkai for the first time because you were in the bathroom trying to make yourself look more alive

but it doesn't work because the second you walk in and linkai (who was previously looking a bit like a lost puppy) says “hi sugarpl- damn, you look rough.”

you give him a half-assed glare and slump into the seat beside him, not even having the energy to be sarcastic.

“wait, y/n, are you okay?”

the concern in his voice makes your stomach turn a little but you just kinda look at him and you’re like.

“i’m gonna fail. again.”

and he's surprised you actually answered him so he kinda stalls for a second

and then he's like “i can help you? if you want?”

and you almost want to laugh bc you have not seen the kid take a single note since you got here

but he's like “lets go sit at one of those tables outside after this and i’ll help you with what you don’t know.”

and you’re like yeah sure i guess bc i mean.. he's cute what are you gonna do? say no?

and then he gets his bag and pulls out a pack of colorful scrunchies and hands them to you

and you instinctively tear up bc they look super new so he definitely like.. went to a store.. saw these.. thought he should get them for you..took them off the shelf.. bought them with his own money.. and now they’re here

and by the will of god you don’t start weeping in front of him

and you feel weird walking with him outside as he greets all his loud friends and is like nah i cant go with you guys today i gotta do something

you two sit down outside and you whip out your book and he’s like so what is it? what are you having trouble with?

and, in shame, you admit that you really don’t know shit all

and he just kinda laughs and he’s like aight let's do this

and let me JUST SAY

YOU. ARE. FLOORED.

he starts explaining the first concept to you and everything he says is making? perfect sense?

he explains things very clearly and intelligently and you immediately understand what you have to do 

he has his own way of solving problems that is faster and more efficient and literally whips through every equation.

when he finishes explaining, you just stop and stare at him in awe for a second and he's like “sorry, did that make sense?”

and in your head you’re like nothing has ever made sense more than what you just did right now

but outwardly you’re like yeah thanks so much

and he continues to explain things to you and by the time a few hours have passed and its getting late and kinda chilly, you already understand half the things you were lost on

you tell him you should get home now and he’s like, oh, yeah, sure, okay.

and you really have to ask him how he ended up in summer school? because he’s obviously extremely intelligent with how easily he understands all the concepts

and he gets a little shy

and he tells you that during the year, he had to work a lot during the school days because his mom is sick and off work so they’re not making a lot of money

and that she had a doctors appointment on the day of the final and there was no one else to take her and it was all really last minute so he missed it

and so he ended up failing math and had to go to summer school

he waits with you until your bus comes and sends you off

and you’re just like.. sitting there.. thinking

and you start to feel like the biggest piece of shit for multiple reasons

first, because you had made so many wrong assumptions about linkai

he wasn’t just some obnoxious imbecile. he was hard-working and obviously had a really big heart

he was loud, yeah but that was just his personality

and you had gone and assumed he was dumb when he was pretty much a genius

but worst of all, you realized that he actually genuinely liked you

all the little pet names, the gifts, the constant talking to you in class was because he just… liked you. it was his own little eccentric way of showing it

and you had treated him like he was some big joke. a nuisance, even.

you didn’t sleep very well that night, either.

the next day he brought you a donut and called you donut.

and you almost cried again 

he was also wearing a different red sweater he’d never worn before and his hair was kind of different and he looked so good

and so you smiled at him and said, “morning, handsome.”

and there was nothing sweeter than the way his face turned as red as his hoodie.

he helped you that day after class too,

and the next, and the next

and you exchanged numbers so you could ‘ask him questions while you were home’

but you two would start texting and having all kinds of conversations

from the most crackheadassery shit to some really deep stuff

you never knew that you could fall so hard for someones voice, the way he talks on the phone when he’s calm and tired, his voice husky and quiet

but shit, you were whipped like whip cream

there was this one time he texted you at 6 am

and it said something like “i just got home from work and i saw a cat in my mailbox blah blah”

and you were like.. pause. just got home from work?

and from there you realized that because summer school was mandatory he was going to work at night to make up for the day shifts he had to miss

and probably getting 2-3 hours of sleep if he was getting any and all

and that was kind of the deal breaker

and you realized that, in such a short span of time,

you had completely fallen in love with wang linkai

and you were determined to do something, anything you could to just.. make things better for him?

you just wanted to be his person

the two of you continued staying after school and studying for an hour or two and then texting throughout the rest of the day, right up until the final exam

the two of you had studied vigorously together, both in person and over facetime.

and the night before the exam comes and you get a text

and all it says is “y/n, something bad happened.”

your heart immediately sinks to the floor and you abandon the petty ‘wait two-three minutes before answering’ rule and just call him

he picks up and doesn’t even say hello and you’re so frightened to see such a bright creature so… burned out

he explains to you that his mom finally got an appointment with this really important specialist after months of waiting

and that it was supposed to be next week, but it got moved to tomorrow

and it’s on the other side of the city

and he’ll miss his exam

it really hurts to hear the shake in his voice, and how hopeless he sounds

and you ask him everything like are you sure theres no one else that can drive her but you? are you sure you cant have the appointment moved back?

and its all a pretty resounding no.

and so you think and think and you’re like; you know what? i have an idea.

and you run into your moms room and explain the situation to her and BEG her to do this for you and take linkai’s mom to her appointment for him

and she asks to speak to linkai for a second and you���re just twiddling your thumbs

and he kinda makes her smile and laugh a little and your heart could just BURST

and she agrees to drive her after getting his address and his moms name and the place of the appointment etc

and when she hands the phone back to you, you go back to your room and when you put the phone to your ear, you hear linkai sniffling on the other end

and you’re like “kai?? are you crying?”

and he’s like “no… fuck maybe a little bit.”

and you’re like ?? why, what else is wrong?

and he’s like “nothing.. nothing is wrong, it’s just.” and he takes a big breath. “thank you so much.”

and you kinda tear up a little bit too and you’re like.. “of course.. you don’t have to thank me.”

and he just takes a biig breath and calms down and then he starts talking in a really soft voice.

“y/n.. you know i like, really like you, right? i know you think im just bored or playing some game, but im not. i knew you were special, and im..” he kind of laughs at himself. “fuck, im really falling for you.”

and now you are crying too

and you tell him you’re so sorry and that you wish you would have just. been better from the beginning

and you tell him that you feel the same way and the both of you are just giggling and he tells you thank you a million times and that he cant wait to see you tomorrow

so the exam comes

the two of you take it and you’re kind of lost on what to do with yourselves other than studying lol

but you both feel really good about the outcome

and there's something really special about the two of you sitting outside waiting for both of your moms to come and get you

and when they do, you get in the car and your moms are like best fuckin friends already

and you’re all laughing as the four of you go to eat lunch together and linkai’s mom tells him that the specialist set up a plan for her and it looks like things are going to get better really soon.

and theres a happy kind of pain in your chest when you look over at him and see that he’s getting teary eyed

and you know exactly what he’s feeling - its that feeling like fuck, things are so good right now, everything is perfect, please don’t take it away

and so you’re a little scared but more excited when you reach over and hold his hand.

and he looks at you and you smile at him. you don’t have to say a word for him to know exactly what you’re thinking

‘i’m here. things will be okay. things will get better. let me carry this weight with you.’

and he squeezes your hand so tight it hurts

but you dont mind

a few days later, the two of you return to get your final examination results

and you’re both shaking and bickering bc you’re like “why are you nervous when you know you passed”

and the two of you take the envelopes and go stand outside by the same table you sat at everyday.

you open your cards at the same time and look at the results and you scream while linkai lets out a big huff of relief

yours reads ’84’ and his says says ’93’

your card flutters to the ground as you jump forward into his arms

and he’s laughing and holding you so so tight, swinging you around and he’s still kind of shaking but in a good way.

and you pull away from the hug and just look at him, and he’s got that look in his eyes again

the look that says he’s so happy and he’s afraid he’s going to lose it

and before you can think twice, you grab his face and kiss the thought right out of his head

and he smiles into the kiss, grabbing you the second you pull away and bringing you back for more

you two pull away and just look at each other like.. who knew?

and he kisses you again on the lips, then kisses all over your entire face

and the horn honks a few feet away from where your mother is waiting for you with a small smile on her face.

and you kiss him one last time before you walk back to the car with your hands tightly intertwined

and you are so fucking glad you suck at math

[grandschemed]

a bustling diner that never closes

@warpaved​ / frank & billy.

“so, are these the best pancakes you’ve ever had or what?” billy grins, digging into his fluffy stack like a kid on christmas morning.  after all, what’s better than breakfast for dinner?

“i should get back, maria and the kids — ” frank immediately counters, eyebrows knit in that well-worn worried sort of way billy is so familiar with, but he’s not going to let him go.  at least, not so easily.

“oh, shut up and eat, they’ll live.”  billy hates it when frank gets like this.  “you always do this, man,” he sighs, drenching his dinner in syrup.  “y’know, maria’s actually the one who told me to get you out of the house for a little while.”

“really?”

no, of course not.

“really.”

frank believes it — at least, judging by the way his big shoulders slump or maybe, he just decides billy’s right regardless.  in which case, atta boy.

“i’ve had better pancakes.”

son of a bitch.

well, at least he isn’t talking about maria and the kids anymore.  billy can’t stand it.  maria this, maria that.  ‘maria got this - oh, she got this soft, purple sweater and man, i’m done for, bill, i’m done for’ or … ‘junior says he misses you, wants to know if uncle bill’s gonna come with us on our trip to disney.  says he’s gonna pack you in his suitcase if you don’t, hehe.’  enough.  enough!  no, no, they don’t talk about what maria’s making for dinner tonight or what lisa got on her spelling test.

they talk like it’s the good times.

and sure, they’re ‘out’, but are they really?  when frank can’t sit still at home, fingers itching because he was never made for suburban domesticity?  when billy sleeps with a gun tucked into his top drawer, but hey — at least it’s not waiting under his pillow.

no, him and frankie are the lucky ones, but to be honest … billy misses him.

he misses frank in sweltering heat, 90 degrees and climbing, slick with sweat, wrestling each other for shade.  he misses the sound of dog tags hitting against frank’s chest: all noise muffled except for the sound of bitten off groans and skin slapping against skin and frank is 200 pounds of gorgeous, heavy muscle putting billy in his place ( or supposedly anyway ).  he misses sleeping next to him, huddled together to share body heat because the desert nights get cold and billy swears he’s never slept better in his life while imagining the sound of frank’s heartbeat mingled with his and six others — a happy little unit of eight.

sometimes, oh, sometimes, he wonders what it’d be like if frank never met maria and if he met billy first.  if frank fell in love with his eyes the way he fell in love with maria’s — what would it be like?  would it be like this?  two assholes playing domestic at some shitty diner where the special of the day is mystery meatloaf and mustard-stained napkins for days?  billy imagines they’d have good days and bad days … like a life of sugar cubes dissolving one by one in bitter coffee: a little bitter, a little sweet.  maybe they’d get a dog, no — two dogs?  beans and toast, yeah.  frank and beans, billy and toast.

billy looks outside, resting his chin in his palm, watching the miserably passerby bustling to find shelter from the cold rain and places himself in their shoes with frank at his side.  they could be two morons caught in a thunderstorm, eager to go home and take each other’s clothes off with lazy grins.  they could be two monsters in love walking their rescue dogs in saturday morning sunshine.  they could be … 

he closes his eyes and sighs.  he wishes time could just stop and he could pretend forever.

“… bill?  bill, you okay?”

domesticated frank offers him a domesticated smile.  it’s not his frank.  it never really was.

“of course, frankie,” billy flashes his teeth, a thousand dollar smile, “why wouldn’t i be?”

pushing his finished plate aside, billy glances at the men’s restroom, gripped by impulse.  he looks frank in the eyes: all dark and heavy like it’s 90 degrees in the dead of winter.  like he could eat frank castle, bones, sinew and all and it still wouldn’t be enough.  it will never be enough.  he watches frank read his expression and watches the slow realization spread on his rugged face.

“actually, tell you what,” billy gets up from the booth, rubbing the corners of his mouth, “i gotta take a leak.”  he smiles a little, airy and untrue, and he knows exactly what he’s doing.  “be back in a second,” he assures and starts to make his way to the bathroom.

back turned to frank, billy pauses for half a moment and counts in his head: one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand … and he waits for frank to follow.

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

[voidimparchive]

heres a list of like... cashier pet peeves & things to do to Not make ur cashier Fucking Miserable

bag ur fucking raw meat. listen u might think it looks clean but a lot of times its NOT. & not only is it like... nasty to touch but we also gotta touch other ppls food!! dont do that!!! ppl dont want fuckin cow blood on their apples ok

but also like?? dont put more than one per bag?? otherwise the cashier has to like dig through it to scan each one & it kinda defeats the purpose & also takes forever

if u have multiple of one fruit/vegetable/etc put them in a bag bc half that shit goes by weight anyway & its REALLY hard to weigh it when ur trying to put everything on the scale & it keeps catching the barcode & ringing it up before ur done. & then u like.. still have some left & also ur like wait did that last one get weighed w that or not? did it register weight from my hand when i was putting it down??

also like. even if it doesnt go by weight. put it in a bag. no one wants to pick up 20 individual oranges that keep rolling around on the damn belt

PLEASE when u do bag things keep different items separate even if theyre the same price bc it fucks up the inventory

i know the peppers are all a dollar but yellow peppers have a different plu than red peppers okay!!

also dont bag like... regular items??? we have a lady who always puts her yogurt in the produce bags like do u realize how hard that makes it to scan them?? esp bc theyre all different flavors so again we cant just scan one and do a quantity bc it fucks up the inventory

& my god if ur gonna buy fuckin. 30 bottles of pop & keep them in the cart MAKE SURE THEYRE NEAT!! we have to be able to count them!! i dont want to scan 30 individual bottles just like you dont want to put them all on the belt but we gotta be able to Actually See how many u have & im not risking my job over u stealing a bottle of pop accidentally or otherwise!! corporate doesnt give a shit if its an accident

also like... if ur gonna put one on the belt & say “oh i have this many” but u have like. different kinds please put up one of each bc again. inventory

also KEEP THINGS GROUPED TOGETHER it makes it a lot easier to bag shit. u dont like everything all thrown in bags randomly?? dont put it on the belt randomly!! group like ur cans ur cold shit ur produce etc etc please

but dont fuckin.. stack shit?? even if its not very high the belt Loves to push things around & knock shit over dont do it

also idk if other stores do this but where i work theres a part of the belt thats like narrower than the rest & it kinda slants toward the cashier & its supposed to like... guide the items along but its fucking GARBAGE & instead it just smashes shit. so PLEASE try not to put ur items wider than that narrowest part. its ok if like some things are a little bit over but like dont put it all the way to both edges of the belt!! things will get stuck or smashed. do not trust that thing it does not do its job

also!! dividers exist for a reason!! even if u think ur order is far enough away from the persons in front of u its hard to tell sometimes bc again, shit gets backed up & the belt pushes it all together

also if ur gonna leave things in ur cart try to make sure the barcodes are visible?? please dont make me flip over all of your six cases of pop bc the barcodes are on the bottom (which like, they should absolutely put it in more than one place but... they dont). just put it so the barcode is up or out or otherwise in a position that is easily accessible

dont put money/ coupons directly on the belt. it will eat them

try to have ur money ready?? i know sometimes u kinda. forget. but please try. cashiers are usually timed & when u take forever to pay it kinda... counts against us

also re: being timed please try to know what ur actually getting like...before?? u start to check out??? i know sometimes things add up to more than u initially expected but like. dont take five minutes to decide on each and every item u have. we do have price checks. please use them

god please put the fucking bags in ur cart as they fill up (also this doesnt rly... apply everywhere, but we have our bags on like a carousel where i work so if the store u go to has that dont reach over to a bag the cashier is still working on theres a reason they havent turned it towards u yet)

please if ur using reusable bags (which by the way we all fucking hate. just use the regular ones & recycle them. the reusable ones are a pain to pack) PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E MAKE SURE THEYRE CLEAN god ppl come in w em & theyve got like... food spilled on em, theyre sticky, a lot of them have pet hair all over them like.... dont be that person okay

re: grouping things together, & this is kinda more directed at other cashiers but maybe dont... put like pet food w chemicals. i know a lot of ppl just group all the non food stuff together but like. it is still technically food. its not food for you, but another living thing is still going to consume that. if u wouldnt put it with YOUR food dont put it w ur pets food

dont complain that there are no registers open or the lines are long or theres no carts or a bunch of things were out of stock please we already know i promise u a thousand ppl before u have already complained abt it & weve already called the appropriate manager or department but there is nothing we as cashiers can personally do about it

if u ask to talk to a manager!! please say why!! esp if the cashier asks. dont just say “i want to talk to a manager” over & over bc the manager is probably Fucking Busy & usually its something that can be solved another way!! 99% of the time theres no need for them to get involved & it would be faster to get it taken care of if we DONT have to call them & have them drop what theyre doing to come & talk to you personally

dont try to sneak into a closed lane w a long line. we see you. & when we say “this line is closed” dont say “i was already here” bc no u fucking werent. if our lane is closed u better believe we are watching the end of that line like a fucking HAWK to make sure we get outta there as soon as fucking possible.

also please dont pull the “but i only have a few things!!” act bc i swear half the ppl who do that can never make up their mind on what they actually want. & also now i either gotta stay even LONGER letting ten other ppl w three things each into my line or look like an asshole for saying no to everyone else that just has a few items. i know ur trying to get out of here. so am i.

my god please if ur going to like the twelve items or fewer lane. 20 of the same thing doesnt count as one item. we cant do quantities on those lanes BECAUSE they are supposed to be a limited amount of items anyway so we shouldnt NEED a quantity option. just go to a regular lane

also dont try to go into one of those lanes w a bunch of shit?? if ur a couple items over its fine but like... dont be an asshole. “but all the other lines are long” isnt an excuse. u know WHY this line is short? bc the ppl in it only have a couple items & we can get them through faster. if u try to go through those lanes w a bunch of items ur backing up the line & deafeating the whole purpose. dont be an asshole!!!

god theres. so much more. but this is already So Long and i am So Tired. im gonna take a nap