#both for my physical safety and for my mental health

[barghest-land]

just wanted to say thank you to everyone for support, nice comments and interest in what i do! my life has been extremely shitty for the past few years and still is, so i appreciate all the attention to me and my works. sorry if i don't respond here and there, i don't have much energy to reply to all things, but i see and appreciate them. thank u 💙

[cent-scratchnsniff]

it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)

[pynkhues]

15. Angst or fluff?

Ooo, as a writer or a reader, haha? I do like writing and reading both, but angst generally wins out. I like conflict in stories because I think conflict makes stories generally more revealing and compelling, and the payoff more satisfying, and it can be harder to make that work with fluff. Not that I don't try myself - I'd say half of C&C is fluff with conflict really, which was a fun balance to figure out as a writer, but overall, angst just scratches an itch for me in a way a lot of fluff doesn't.

Writer asks

[mohammedaldeeb]

⏰Hello everyone once again⏰,

I would like to introduce myself again😃…

I am Dr. Mohamed Al-Deeb, and I used to work as an ER doctor💉🩸🩺 at Al-Shifa Medical Complex. 🩹🫁🫀

But I was forced, along with my family, to flee south😣,

leaving behind my home🫀, memories😔, and the workplace 😓that held so many beautiful recollections with my colleagues.😞

This war has affected us deeply, destroying us internally and exhausting us physically😩, mentally😓, and financially😢.

We left our home—a five-story building😔that now no longer exists💔😭, completely reduced to rubble.

That beautiful home held the memories of my childhood🧡, cherished days with my siblings, family, and the warm, joyful gatherings that are now nothing but echoes.💛💚💙❤

Today, I am displaced in the city of Deir al-Balah, 😔

living in a tent that lacks even the most basic necessities.😭😭

It doesn’t protect us from the heat of summer😪 or the cold of winter��.

Yet, this hasn’t stopped me from fulfilling my duty✋, both humanitarian and moral, to serve my patients🤟💛.

I have not left them even for a day, not hesitating for a moment to provide care, whether at the Martyrs of Al-Aqsa Hospital 🩸or the European Hospital.🩺

I deeply feel the suffering of these patients🥺, who have lost everything and have only their health left to cling to😥.

I only wish that this nightmare would end🥺🙏💜.

After an entire year of this devastation, all that remains for me is my small family🙏💐,

and my hope is to protect them from the ravages of this war and to live in peace and safety—perhaps even far from this land🥺❤.

I humbly ask for your help in any way possible🙏💜🖤.

Thank you.💚

Dr. Mohamed Al-Deeb-from gaza strip

[tswiftupdatess]

Taylor Swift talking about working on The Eras Tour, re-recording, performing with a broken heart and the joy and safety the Tour brings to fans at The Eras Tour Book:

“I'll never forget the call when I explained my idea of the concept for The Eras Tour to my team. At the time, I was working on the Midnights album and if we were to do what I've always done, I would've embarked on planning The Midnights Tour. But there's nothing I hate more than doing what I've always done.

“We're going to call it The Eras Tour and each album will have its own chapter, it's own world.” I told them that I want to fully commit to each era, musically, stylistically and aesthetically. They should feel like time capsules. If we do this right, I said, we can celebrate and honor both new fans and fans who have been here from day one.

It had been 6 years sice I'd toured. In those 6 years, a lot had transpired for me creatively. I release Lover, folklore, evermore, and eventually Midnights. In another real of my priorities was my passion project: re-recording my first 6 albums that were sold away from me by my former record label. Reclaiming my past made me fall back in love with it. Revisiting that past work made me want to honor it and honor what the fans had done for me with the Taylor's Version albums. And so the new albums and my re-records left me with the dilemma: HOW on Earth are we going to play all of this music live? I decided to create the longest, most ambitious show I'd ever even attempted. Averaging at 3 hours and 15 minutes, with 45 songs played. My goal was for every fan to leave that show knowing I gave them absolutely everything I had. I made a promise to myself to be physically and mentally tougher than I ever had been before. To be more disciplined and commited to my health, fitness, and stamina. Thankfully, I'm surrounded by my incredible crew, band, singers, and dancers who all matched my dedication to the massive scale and challenges of this show. We would go on to play this show in the pouring rain, in the blazing heat, in the thickest humidity, in the wildest winds, and in the bitter cold. We would do it if we were sick or exhausted or injured. We would do it with a broken heart. We do this because we love having the rare opportunity to create happiness and wonder up on that stage. We do it because we know it takes time and effort and money and energy to plan out coming to a concert. We do it because every friendship bracelet traded has the potential to become a new friend, and you never know what dreams can be sparked if we succeed in painting a dreamscape in every city we visit. We do it because people need an escape from how brutal life can be, and it is the honor of a lifetime to be that for them, if only for a night. And although we are all on our own in this big scary life, somehow it doesn't feel that way when we're singing the same words as 80,000 other people wearing glittery face paint. We do it because life comes in waves, in phases, in brilliant flurries of magical moments, and all of these things come together to create…Eras.

Here is the official retrospective of the most wondrouds tour of my life, my beloved Eras Tour.

See you next era..”

(November 29, 2024)

[renadmagidnew]

UPDATE ON RINAD AND HER FAMILY OF SEVEN MEMEBERS

Our Tent Collapsed!

Hi friends, before I can say anything I am beyond grateful to all of you especially the anonymous do-gooder who helped share my story & gfm link.. £5,298  raised of £35,000 goal when I lost contact and my account got banned. My Family thanks you from the bottom of their hearts ❤ DOANTE PLEASE : HERE

Elhamdullilah, we lost our tent ! Leaving behind even the modest shelter of our tent felt like losing the only piece of stability and safety we had fought hard to maintain. Thing are tough. We try to remain positive , but it's getting harder and harder everyday. My mother's health is getting worse and worse ,also AbdulRahman's (my brother) Hepatitis A, we're all hit with diseases, add to that we have very little money left , and everything is ridiculously expensive ! We went through a lot the past two weeks .. every day feels like a year .. everything drains us both physically and mentally. I am sorry for bothering you and I am sorry for being gloomy . Please Help us! - Escape to Egypt - Treat our family's health issues - Afford Living Expanses until we leave inshAllah WE REALLY NEED TO LEAVE Donate and Share Please !🙏 Thank you for donating and sharing! You are literally saving our lives .I am afraid I will get banned again verified by: @el-shab-hussein

[khaire-traveler]

🍇 Subtle Dionysus Worship 🥂

Drinking grape juice or wine; fruity drinks also work; raise a glass to him

Eating food that you love, especially comfort foods

Hosting or attending parties

Hanging out with loved ones

Celebrating your accomplishments, big or small

Having a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Putting on grape-scented or fruit-scented perfumes/colognes

Wearing jewelry that reminds you of him

Seeking community; LGBTQ+ support groups, gamer groups, fandom groups, etc.

Having a bull, leopard, goat, or cat stuffed animal

Decorating parts of your room with real or fake ivy vines

Growing a plant, especially ivy or vined plants

Wearing showy or lavish outfits; wearing outfits that make you feel good about yourself

Taking care of your mental health; finding new and healthy ways to cope with issues

Keeping a mental health journal

Keeping a picture of him in your wallet

Having leopard, bull, or big cat imagery around

Taking a hike/walk in a local forest or nature preserve

Taking a walk at night, especially on a new or full moon (only if safe in your area, please)

Dancing, especially to songs that make you feel wild, free, and expressive

Listening to energizing or expressive music

Watching/reading musicals or plays

Performing in a musical or play (including backstage and tech)

Taking your medications; setting reminders for them

Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally

Learning to accept both the "dark" and "light" parts of yourself

Being kind to those outcast by society, especially the homeless and addicts

Volunteering at a homeless shelter

Engaging in activities that bring you joy, especially those that are looked down upon

Finding ways to be rebellious, especially towards authority (don't do this if it risks your own safety)

Expressing yourself in little ways if unable to be open about it (wearing a bracelet that represents your gender identity, shoelaces that are pride flag colored, etc.)

Embracing all the unique things that make you who you are

Support LGBT, homeless shelter, environmental preservation, or humanitarian organizations

Volunteer at a homeless shelter

-

May add more later! This is my list of discreet ways to worship Dionysus. I hope it helps, and take care! 💜

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[washoping]

You're enough

── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Emily Prentiss x reader

summary: You've had a really bad day, leaving you unable to get up and face the world. When Emily comes home from work to find you still in bed, she knows something deeper is wrong - and she won't let you go through it alone.

tags: fluff and angst, emotional hurt/comfort, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, depression, comfort

f/f │ 2.7k words │ ao3

a/n: another lil oneshot i wrote to get my own feelings out of my head, hopefully this will help and maybe bring comfort to some of you as well. please remember you're not alone <3 also, requests are welcome!

── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The apartment was quiet, almost too quiet. It was the kind of silent that felt heavy and suffocating.  The only thing you could hear was the rhythmic pulse of the clock, its sound a cruel reminder of time passing. You were staring up at the ceiling, the grey evening light filtering weakly through the half-drawn blinds, casting a dull glow in the room. The day had been so long. Time had lost its meaning sometime after Emily had left for work. The hours had blurred together, morning to afternoon, afternoon to evening, leaving you feeling empty and making the day slip away without you.

You hadn’t moved from the comfort of your bed since Emily left that morning - maybe even longer. It felt like you were sinking, trapped underneath the weight of invisible hands pressing you into the mattress. You couldn’t explain why or how the day had ended up being like this. It just had. All you knew was that everything had felt off for you since the moment you opened your eyes, like the world was tilted off its axis. So you had stayed still, cocooned in the safety of your bed, even though it wasn’t truly safe. Not from yourself.

And then you heard the sound of the front door opening and closing echoing through the quiet apartment, pulling you from the void of your thoughts. Emily’s familiar, calm voice broke through the silence.

”Baby? I’m home!”

You heard her keys drop into the glass bowl on the counter, the rustle of her jacket being hung up on its hook, her kicking her shoes off. The sounds of normalcy. Something inside your chest ached at that. It didn’t bring the usual comfort. It was like you were stuck watching and hearing life happening in front of your eyes but between that and you there was a thick glass wall - so close, but completely unreachable.

You could tell by the tone of Emily’s voice that there was a little smile on her face. It nearly broke you. The easiness she used the pet name for you with, how happy she seemed to see you after a long day. She sounded so normal, as if nothing was wrong. She had no idea what she was walking into. You hated yourself for putting her through this.

You didn’t respond. One part of you wanted to get up to meet your girlfriend in the kitchen, to pretend everything was fine. That was something you were a professional in. But right now, your body felt heavy, your limbs didn’t want to cooperate. You didn’t have the energy to do so. The sheets around your body had become more like chains throughout the day, holding you in place with the weight of your exhaustion, both physical and emotional.

Another part of you hoped that the quietness and stillness in the apartment would keep her at a distance, just for a while longer. You needed her, your body yearned for comfort but you weren’t ready. You weren’t ready for her questions or to see the disappointed look in her eyes when she realized you weren’t feeling well. You weren’t ready for her to see you like this. Not today.

Emily’s footsteps padded down the hallway and instead of awakening the usual excitement inside you with them, you felt your anxiety deepen. You heard her knock lightly on the bedroom door before opening it. ”Babe?”

The door creaked a bit and you felt Emily’s presence before you saw her. She stood there for a moment, silent, taking in the sight of you still wrapped in bed like a lifeless figure beneath the covers. You pretended to be asleep. The room was dim and in the air there were faint traces of yesterday’s coffee that had long gone cold on the nightstand. You hadn’t even managed to open the blinds fully. It reduced the world outside to a narrow sliver of pale light that barely got in the room.

You heard Emily sigh. You were sure she was disappointed.

”Have you been in bed all day?” she asked, her voice soft but clearly laced with concern. There was something in her tone that made your chest tighten - a mix of worry and confusion probably, like she was trying to piece together what had happened in your world while she was gone for the day.

Once again, you didn’t answer. You just curled up tighter.

Emily walked towards you cautiously and you felt the mattress dip a little underneath you when she sat on the edge of the bed. You felt the warmth of her presence beside you but it only made you pull the blankets tighter around your body, like a shield. The fabric was rough against your skin from being tangled with you all day.

”Honey, talk to me”, Emily said and reached out, her hand brushing softly against your arm. Her touch was gentle but insistent. ”Did you get up at all? Have you eaten anything?”

”I’m just tired, Emily”, you whispered your weak excuse. The lie had barely left your lips before it felt hollow already, hanging heavy in the air between you. ”I just want to sleep, okay?”

The words felt wrong. The truth was that you didn’t even know what you wanted. Sleep seemed like an impossible task, but so did getting out of bed. Facing the world seemed the most daunting. What you needed was for everything to stop for a while so you could breathe.

Emily’s hand lingered on your arm, her thumb now brushing small circles against your skin in a soothing manner. You felt her hesitate a bit and a part of you wished she would stop. That she would just leave you alone to sink back into the void you’d been trying to disappear into the whole day. But another part of you, a more fragile part, longed for her to stay more than anything so she could pull you out of the darkness even though you felt like you didn’t deserve the help.

”Hey… come here”, she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she leaned in closer, her lips brushing softly against the crown of your head.

You felt the mattress shift again as she tried to wrap her arms around you to pull you into her embrace, but you flinched, turning your body away from her. It stung. Your hand came up reflexively, pushing her away in a weak attempt to create some distance. It wasn’t that you didn’t want her comfort. You imagined the hurt look on her face just now after declining her embrace and it made you feel even worse. You wanted her comfort so bad but didn’t feel worthy of it.

”Okay, okay…” Emily’s voice was clearly filled with hurt now, the softness of it was disappearing. She sat back, giving you space, but you could feel the tension in the air as if she was waiting for an explanation - something to make sense of why you were acting like this.

”I told you”, you muttered, your voice cracking slightly as you tried your best to keep the flood of emotions in. You didn’t have the energy to let it out. ”I’m just tired. That’s all. I need to be alone for a bit.”

It wasn’t convincing at all. It all sounded like pure lies. You didn’t want to be alone. Being alone was what had gotten you here, spiraling deeper until you couldn’t breathe. But the part of letting her in and exposing this part of you to her was equally terrifying. What if she saw you like this and realized you weren’t worth it and that she couldn’t do this anymore?

You could feel the tears building again, your eyes burning from the hours you had spent crying alone in the dark. You bit your lips together, clenching your jaw, trying to hold back the wave of emotions that threatened to spill over. But Emily read you like a book. She wasn’t fooled.

”Look at me”, she whispered, gently but insistent on solving all of this. Her hand reached for your face and even though everything inside you screamed to pull away, to hide the shame and mess, you couldn’t. Your body betrayed you in the best way possible, frozen in the space between wanting both; to disappear and needing her to see all of you. So you let her fingers grab your chin and turn your head towards her.

Her gaze finally locked with yours properly for the first time after her coming home. The world seemed to still for a moment. Her expression shifted immediately the second her eyes met your eyes, red and blood-shot from all the crying. You saw so much love in hers, in the way she looked at you. It was almost unbearable.

”Oh baby…” she breathed, her thumb gently wiping away the tear that slipped down your cheek. So soft, so tender. ”Why didn’t you say anything?”

You couldn’t answer. The lump in your was too thick now, the shame too overwhelming. What would you even say? That you had spent the entire day trapped beneath the crushing weight of your own emotions, feeling like you were sinking into the bed, disappearing into the heaviness of it all? That each minute had felt like drowning, the weight pressing down on you until you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe?

How could you explain that the hopelessness clawing at your insides was so deep, so consuming that it had taken all your energy just to exist today? And that despite it all you still didn’t feel like you deserved to be here, in her arms, in her life even?

All that didn’t even begin to explain the depth of the hopelessness you felt.

Her thumb traced another tear away as her eyes searched for your face, more concerned now after not hearing you say anything.

”Please, talk to me”, she whispered, cracks in her voice showing her calmness cracking. ”What’s going on? I just want to help.”

Your breath hitched, the pressure in your chest building until it felt like you were about to break.

”I… I had a bad day.” Everything you wanted to say was stuck in your throat and your voice trembled. The words felt like they barely scratched the surface. ”I had a really bad day.”

Emily’s hand never left your cheek, her thumb still stroking your cheek softly. She didn’t push. She didn’t demand more than you could give. She gave you time and waited. She gave you space when you needed it.

”You were right. I didn’t… I didn’t get out of bed”, you finally admitted, your voice barely audible. You couldn’t look into her eyes while you spoke. ”I just stayed here, all day. I couldn’t… do anything. I’m so sorry.”

”Sorry for what?” Emily’s voice was soft. Her brows furrowed as she tried to understand. ”You don’t have to apologize for having a bad day, love. You should’ve told me in the morning, I would’ve stayed with you.”

The floodgates opened before you could stop them. The shame, the self-hate, it all spilled out of you harder this time. Your whole body trembled as you finally let go of some of the emotions you had been holding back all day, crying out the words you hadn’t let yourself say until now.

”I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you”, you sobbed now, voice thick with shame. ”I don’t deserve you. I’m a mess, Emily. Don’t you see? I’m a fucking mess and I don’t understand why you’re here. I don’t deserve your love. Not like this. I don’t even understand why you’re staying. Go.”

You thought this would be it - the moment where your words would push her away, too far, and she’d finally see you for what you truly were. She’d pull away, finally tired of the broken person she was holding. And she’d leave just like everyone else.

But she didn’t. She didn’t leave or pull away. Instead, Emily’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer as if she could shield you from the darkness inside yourself. She held you so close you could feel her heartbeat, steady and strong against your own quick frantic pulse.

”Stop, please. Stop that right now”, she whispered. Her voice was thick with emotion, like she was about to cry too. ”You don’t have to be perfect for me to love you. You never have to be perfect. You’re enough just as you are. You’ve always been enough. What do I have to do to make you see that?”

Her words broke something inside you - something so deep, something you had buried a long time ago. The dam holding back your emotions finally shattered and you collapsed into her, your sobs shaking your entire body as you clung to her. Your tears dampened the fabric of her shirt but neither one of you cared at all. Emily’s arms didn’t falter as she held you closer than anyone had ever done before. Her hand stroked your hair gently, her lips pressed soft kisses on your temples. Her touch grounded you, keeping you from slipping away.

”I’m here”, she whispered softly into your hair, over and over again as if she hoped the more she said it the more of a chance she would have in making you believe it. ”I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Slowly but surely, thanks to Emily, your sobs quieted and were replaced by the sound of your ragged breathing. Your head rested against Emily’s chest as you listened to her steady heartbeat next to your ear. It brought you so much comfort, anchoring you from the darkness you’d been drowning in. She held you for a long time, not letting go.

When you finally pulled back and wiped your tear-streaked face you felt lighter. The suffocating weight inside your chest had lifted just enough for you to feel like you could take a full breath again. You wiped your teary eyes, ashamed of how vulnerable you felt.

”Do you really mean it?” you asked, your voice small and shaky with embarrassment. It felt like a stupid question to ask but you needed to hear her say it. To make sure. ”That… that I’m enough?”

Emily cupped your face and you were met with her dark eyes full of love, so full of certainty that you felt stupid for doubting her for even a second.

”I’ve never meant anything more, my love”, she promised you as her thumb traced your bottom lip gently. ”You’re stronger than you think. And even on your worst days, you still deserve to be loved. Actually, especially on those days.”

Tears welled up again in your eyes but this time they felt different. They weren’t the sharp, painful kind that came with the weight of your shame. They were softer, warmer, a mixture of relief and gratitude. Relief that Emily was still here, that she hadn’t pulled away, and gratitude for the unconditional love she offered you, even when you couldn’t offer it to yourself.

Her fingers brushed softly against your skin and you leaned into her touch, so drawn to the safety that radiated from her. For just a moment you allowed yourself to believe in her words. It was hard, so incredibly hard to accept that you were worthy of this love, but you tried. You tried to let her love fill the cracks your self-doubt had formed.

Emily leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss on your lips that were stained with the tears that she hadn’t caught while caressing your face with her thumbs. The familiar feel of her lips against yours made you smile a little, for the first time today. Emily smiled too.

”We’ll get through this together”, she murmured against your lips as she pressed her forehead against yours. ”You’re not alone, okay? I won’t let the darkness swallow you, I’ll be here to bring you back every time. I promise. I’m with you, always.”

Her words wrapped around you like a protective blanket and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to believe them. Maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to carry this burden on your own. Maybe you didn’t have to be perfect in order to deserve love. Emily was here, still here, even when you were at your lowest, even when you couldn’t love yourself.

And for now, that was enough. You were enough.

[changetyre]

How long? II Lando Norris X Reader ⓈⒾ

SUMMARY: Finding your soulmate doesn't always include a happy ending.

WARNINGS: Angst Angst Angst with a sprinkle of fluff. Sickness, death.

A/N: This is a story I wrote a while ago for Wattpad and which I always loved but reading it back now there's been things I've wanted to adjust which is what I chose to do here ;)

Lando POV II 

"Tell me about her," she asked me passing me back our photo. 

I looked at it, my thumb grazing over her in the picture I kept in my wallet.

_____

Y/N POV II 

Lando and I've been together ever since I can remember. We met when we were only toddlers and became inseparable ever since. We both knew in our hearts how much we meant to each other, we knew that we couldn't live without each other. However, another part of us, and everyone around us, told us there would come a point where we'd meet other people.

And we did meet other people, in fact when I went to college and Lando joined F1 we both decided to try to date others and it was the most miserable time in both our lives. Which only reinforced our feelings, we were irrevocably in love.

We were aware that we were a very cheesy couple, the kind of people who just didn't care when people were around us and loved to show our love for one another no matter the time and/or place. We were the kind of couple to gift each other little things and have dinner dates every week. Land never failed to bring me flowers every weekend since we started dating.

Life felt like a dream when we were around each other, we literally felt like we were in the clouds, floating in our own bubble of love. But it didn't take long before it burst. 

Given the amount of time Lando and I had spent together we had discussed anything you could possibly imagine and despite some thinking this was a horrible and selfish thought, when Lando and I talked about losing one another, we always thought he would go first...simply because of his job.

What Lando didn't know though was that every night and every time Lando went on track I would pray, pray for his safety, pray for his health, pray that if one of us had to go...for it to be me...because I could simply not live a life without him...the single thought made me choke up. 

'Be careful what you wish for.'

One year ago I was diagnosed with Breast cancer. For some reason the news didn't come to me as much of a shock as I thought, it was like something in my mind and body had expected this, had somehow mentally prepared me for it. On the other hand, I could tell how much this devastated Lando, so much he'd set his mind on quitting F1 to care for me which I had to practically force him not to. 

We had caught it early on and I only needed a few weeks of chemotherapy. Luckily the news came at the end of Lando's season, he would be home and he wouldn't get distracted on track.

Chemo was worse than anyone had ever described to me, it felt like I'd been completely stripped away from my own body and I was miserable but I knew I had to get through it, I tried to keep a smile all the way through it, for Lando, but I knew he could see right through me and he had as many sleepless nights as I did through it all.

Finally the last week of Chemo, everything was better. Lando was certainly brighter than before although I could tell he was still worried, I could see it in his eyes. Every time I'd say I was tired, huff, breath abnormally, or complain about any sort of pain I could tell Lando's heart skipped a beat.

It annoyed me at first because he constantly hovered, but I never said anything and eventually, I understood. I knew that if I was in his shoes I'd be exactly the same and now I found myself wondering whether I'd wished for the right position to be in because even though I was in pain physically...Lando was in pain too, even more than I was...and it broke my heart to see him go through it.

Now I wanted the season to start more than ever so Lando could put his focus and worry somewhere else other than me, and even though I worried that he might have an accident because of all this distraction I knew how much he adored driving and it was what he needed. 

The start of the season went well, not as good as we expected but it was good enough and the boys still had the rest of the season left.

I was with Lando in Monaco for the race, I was so excited about having him race here in Monaco since we'd recently bought our apartment here and we hadn't been able to enjoy it because of my treatments. 

It seemed like things were finally getting back to normal, Lando and I were floating back up in the clouds again and we were finally finding our rhythm again...it was almost too good to be true. 

I was home making dinner for Lando and me, he'd texted he was almost home and I'd decided to make some food for us. The whole day I'd noticed I was particularly exhausted and I kept running out of breath doing simple things. I had just set the table when all of a sudden it felt like my lungs had disappeared.

I dropped to the ground in pain gasping with all my power for some air. I thought I was going to die right there and then all until I heard the door open.

"Y/N!" I heard Lando's panicked scream. "LOVE!"

He pulled me up and turned me towards him, I clutched my chest. "I can't breathe." I wheezed.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" He screamed out.

And eventually, for me, everything went black.

__

I woke up on an all too familiar surface. I was in a hospital bed, all sorts of tubes and needles attached to me. I looked for Lando and saw he was outside talking to the doctor, I could see him through the window.

Lando was facing my way while the doctor's back was towards me. I could tell it was a serious conversation and as much as I tried to deny it I knew what was happening. The cancer was back...and this time it wasn't going away.

I saw the anger and pain in Lando's eyes as the doctor spoke to him, he argued. I imagined he kept asking for a solution that simply didn't exist. Lando held his tears in all until he locked eyes with me. I gave him a look letting him know it was okay, I knew and that was enough for him to break down.

The doctor simply patted his shoulder before walking away. Lando walked to the room wiping his tears away as best as he could. Once he came in I could tell he didn't know what to say.

"It's back-" he spoke in barely above a whisper. 

"I know baby." I opened my arms for him and he broke down in tears again. I cried with him, not because of my pain but because of his.

"How long?" I asked him after a few minutes.

Lando kept his head buried in my chest but I could feel him shaking his head.

"Baby how long?" I repeated the question.

His head finally rose up, his eyes were swollen and the tears just kept coming. "They're not sure, he says it could be 6 months or a week." Lando's voice broke at the last words before he buried his face in my chest once more except this time he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly as if I could slip away at any second.

"I love you..." he wept "I'm so sorry." these last words shattered me.

"I'm sorry too...I love you." I whispered to him as I kissed the top of his head.

"Baby I'm scared-" he whispered into my chest. 

I didn't exactly know how to comfort him, I let Lando cry it out as much as he needed to while I tried to remain strong, I found myself pondering over how I felt, I wasn't scared but I was in pain, and I was so miserable for leaving Lando like this, we definitely didn't have enough time together.

___

The next morning once Lando had come back into my room with a cup of coffee I decided it was time to talk about the next step. I knew deep down Lando still wanted to push for a cure that simply didn't exist but I also knew I didn't want to spend another second stuck in these hideous grey walls.

"Baby I want to get out here," I spoke. I was prepared for a discussion.

Lando simply looked down and gave a shaky sigh. "I know...and I'll get you out." his lip quivered and I could see tears brimming up in his eyes again.

"You're not going to ask me to stay?" I needed confirmation.

Lando got up and walked over to me, he scooted me over and sat down on the bed. "The day I met you-" he took a deep breath trying to keep himself together. "I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to make you happy no matter what-" a tear slipped down his cheek. "I hope you know that if it was possible I'd take your place right now because seeing you like this..." another tear fell down his cheek. "it's been hell." I placed my hand on his cheek caressing it, I was crying too. "But I know you better than anyone and I know that you're not the kind of person to go out in a hospital room and I know you want to do as much as you can before you-" he stopped himself and his breath hitched. He couldn't say it.

"You're right." I quickly said not wanting him to finish because I could tell how hard it was for him. "I want to spend every second I have left with you, with the people I love, out of here." His lip quivered again as more tears left his eyes.

"Let's go then." Lando got back up starting to pack my things.

The news spread through the F1 world fairly quickly and I was flooded with pitiful messages all over my social media. Lando's friends from work who I'd grown close to didn't know what to say when I showed up in the paddock with them for the Monaco GP. Most of them simply gave me glances that spoke a thousand words.

Carlos, Alex, George, and Charles had all been incapable of holding their tears back as they saw me, giving me a hug that only existed for these situations.

After the Monaco GP, Lando and I found ourselves going to our favorite spots within Monaco, I was tired, so tired and I could feel death inching closer every day but I held on, I held on because...I knew he wasn't ready...I wasn't ready.

One morning I woke up to find Lando had planned a whole day for us and it all started at home. I'd walked to the living room to find Lando had prepared a very scrumptious breakfast. And he'd decorated our balcony with roses and candles.

We walked to it and there Lando got down on one knee, pulling out a small black box, which he opened to reveal a ring. My hands flew up to my mouth, I had always dreamed of this day but certainly not like this.

"My dearest y/n, I've imagined this very day over a thousand times in my head and I've come up with hundreds of speeches for this very occasion but it seems none of them would work for what we're going through now." His voice broke. "You have been the first and only woman in my life I have ever loved, you have been my best friend since day one, you've been my rock, my world, my everything and I simply do not want to spend another day not being able to call you my wife...so y/n, my love will you marry me?" I could tell he sped up the last bit to hold his tears back.

"Yes." I let him slip the ring on my finger before he rose up and we engulfed each other in a deep kiss.

"Propose...check" he pretended to hold a list and checked off the first point making me laugh.

"So what's next my fiancé," I asked him.

"Well, why don't we get going and I'll show you...my fiancé." he gave me another kiss.

Lando took me shopping for a bit before he drove us both back home. I'd noticed something else had been set up and once I walked into our room I found a wedding dress hanging in our closet. I gasped admiring the dress, it was simple but beautiful.

"Pietra helped me pick it out for you, we tried getting a more over-the-top one but apparently you can't just buy dresses like that overnight." he shrugged.

"It's beautiful." you admired the dress.

"Well you better get dressed, and I'll do the same. I'm going to get dressed somewhere else and when the time comes your driver will be here." he winked.

"Wait what?" I was confused.

"Just be ready in 2 hours...I love you." he gave me a quick peck on the lips before walking out. I got dressed and ready as best as I could with the time I had left, I did a simple hairstyle, partly because I was never good at doing my hair and partly because I barely had the strength to keep my arms up for longer than 3 seconds. 

20 minutes before the 2 hours were up I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and Pietra, Alexandra, Lily, and Carmen were all standing there in matching dresses. You looked at them confused but on the brink of tears because of how beautiful they looked.  "Did I die already?" I joked, and they laughed but I could tell the thought pained them. 

"You look beautiful." P had to pat her eyes as she looked at me. I had naturally grown closest to her because of the brotherhood between Max and Lando. 

"Thank you for doing this?" I had to hold my tears back too. 

"Let's go." Alex and Lily extended their hands out for me and I took them walking out with them. We walked downstairs and Carlos was waiting in an Aston Martin DB6 Volante, that had been decorated with white flowers. 

We arrive at the beach to find it prepared for a ceremony, all of Lando's friends from the paddock and his friends from Quadrant were there, as well as both our parents. I just about started crying there and then. 

I got out of the car and Carlos stood there offering me his arm guiding me to one end of the carpet that had been rolled out. I saw Lando at the other end and tears quickly brimmed my eyes. As soon as he laid eyes on me it didn't take him half a second before he started crying too, Max Fewtrell quickly stepped in to hand him a handkerchief even though he was shedding a few tears too.

Without You by Harry Nilson started playing, and it was enough for me to let my tears run free. Carmen handed me a bouquet of roses and I began walking down the aisle, and for some reason, all my strength seemed to leave me right there and then. 

I stumbled causing everyone to try to jump forward to grab me, My mom caught me, I could see the concern and the pain in her eyes but she also understood I needed to keep going. She wrapped her arm around my waist and helped me down the aisle. 

And now it's only fair that I should let you know what you should know...I can't live, if living is without you...I can't live, I can't give anymore. 

The song reached this part just as I reached him, he wrapped his arms around me, letting his forehead rest on mine. 

"You look beautiful." he sniffled. 

I placed my hand on his cheek before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "Let's get married," I whispered to him. 

The ceremony was short, Lando had wanted to arrive at the vows quickly and once we did he pulled out a sheet of paper, a tear was already rolling down his cheek. 

"My best friend, my rock, my first love, my only love, my life, my world, my everything, these words don't come remotely close to describing what you are to me. I hope you know I consider myself the luckiest man on earth to have met you, to have loved you, to have cared for you, and to have married you-" he chocked up. "But although I thought it was impossible...as much as I feel the luckiest man...I feel the unluckiest too." he looked up to meet my eyes completely distraught. "It's unfair the world is taking you away from me when our love story has only just begun, all the dreams, all the plans, all the promises I have yet to fulfill to you will stay here while you will go." he gulped down, he had a knot in his throat. "I will cherish, love, and protect you for the rest of the time we have left together, I will continue bringing you flowers every weekend, I'll wake you up with kisses in the morning, I'll make you smile and laugh every day, and most importantly I will, with all my power, do my best to keep you happy." he finished. 

I leaned forward giving him a long kiss on the cheek, now it was my turn and since this was all unexpected I hadn't prepared anything but already had enough to say. 

"My Lando...you have made me the happiest woman on earth since the day I met you. You are the most loyal, hardworking, loving, fun man I have ever known and I consider myself the luckiest woman on earth to have fallen in love with you. And the luckiest woman for you will be the first, last, and only man I will ever love." Lando's lips quivered as I said those words, a sob escaping his lips. "I will forever be sorry that we didn't get more time together, that I couldn't give you what we had so long hoped for, a life, kids, to grow old together." I cleared my throat having to compose myself. "I wish there was more I could do to keep you happy in the time I have left my darling, I can't promise you much, but I promise that I will love you with every fiber of my body and soul until my last breath." I ended. 

We were pronounced husband and wife and Lando pulled me in for a long deep kiss, mixed with both our tears. 

It was the most perfect day of my life, surrounded by so much love from our families and friends, surrounded by so much happiness. Once the moon was out and the tide started rising things started getting packed up but Lando and I decided to take a walk along the beach. 

We walked in silence, simply appreciating and cherishing each other's company. Once we were nearing the end of the beach I had to speak about what was on my mind. 

"Lando." I started. 

"No." he immediately replied. 

"Baby-" I was going to keep going. 

"I know what you're going to say and you can't ask me that-" he spoke softly but I could hear the anger and hurt in his voice. 

"Lando listen to me please-" I stopped making Lando turn to me. He looked down and he was crying silent tears. "After I'm gone I need you to promise me you will keep going no matter how hard or painful it is...I want you to give your career 1000% percent like you always have...and someday whenever you're ready I want you to find someone who will make you happy, who will take care of you, who you will fall in love with and start a family with-" I spoke clearly, this was a thought I'd head since the first time I'd found out I was sick. 

"No, I can't." He replied sniffling. 

"Yes you can and you will," I assured him. 

"How will I ever love someone as I love you..." he locked eyes with me. 

"I'm not asking you to love someone as you love me. But you will learn to love again, I just want you to promise you will not shut yourself out, you need to keep going...for me." I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, with one hand I wiped the tears from under his eyes. 

He looked at me unsure and simply nodded, I knew he didn't mean it right now but it was as much reassurance as I would get from him for now. 

"I'll never find anyone like you." He spoke once we'd started walking back. 

"Maybe not, but you will find someone, there's plenty of women out there Lando, amazing, beautiful, incredibly talented women and I'm sure there's someone else for you." the mood had livened up a little bit. 

____

LANDO POV II 

The next morning I woke up...she didn't. She'd passed in her sleep, in my arms. A smile was still on her lips. I knew she was gone but I still tried to wake her, I still needed her to wake up.

I was inconsolable for months after her death, and my friends and my family had to help me back to my feet. Literally, because it was as though all my strength, all my will to live had died with her that day.

"She made me promise her that I would find someone else, that I'd fall in love again." I stifled a laugh remembering our walk at the beach. 

"She sounds like an amazing woman." She commented. She had a very genuine smile. 

"She was...I never met anyone like her." I sighed, that ache in my heart was still very present but bearable now.

_____________

Bonus A/N: 

If it serves as any consolation I cried my eyes out writing this story. . 

[starry-bi-sky]

tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid

okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.

Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.

It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.

(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)

There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.

It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.

Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.

Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.

He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.

At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.

This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.

Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.

Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.

Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.

("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)

Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.

Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.

Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.

Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.

Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".

(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)

Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.

He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.

Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.

Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.

At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.

He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.

Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."

And there it is. There's his out.

Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."

The ball starts rolling.

Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.

He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.

It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.

Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.

He breaks the lock by hand.

Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.

The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.

And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.

I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"

I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.

Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.

But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.

Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.

Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.

Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.

Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.

And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.

[bones4thecats]

If Their Fem! S/O Grew Up In Yoshiwara

Characters: Kagaya Ubuyashiki and Rengoku Kyojuro (separate) Inspired By: A random idea of mine A/N: Nothing. Have fun reading I guess! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Mentions of prostitution, attempted assault, unwanted physical touch, and having a mental breakdown ⚠️

-> {H/C} ; Hair Color

The Development of Entertainment-District-Child! Reader

Born to the high-in-demand courtesan Emi L/N, you were left to fend for yourself in many scenarios. While the woman who birthed you was sent away by her Oiran, Sora, for her safety, she was still subjected back into the world of the Entertainment District with her toddler. As you aged, you grew to resent any memory of the sex-centered district, and when the opportunity arose, you took the chance to be taught by your sensei, the former Water Hashira Sakonji Urokodaki. And while the life of a demon slayer and spouse was fun, it was only a matter of time for your lover to uncover your past...

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Kagaya Ubuyashiki ════════════════════════╝

🌸 When you first met Kagaya, you were a couple of young lovers. And as he grew sicker, your missions slowed and you decided to hang up your nichirin blade and only train certain slayers in your art

🌸 This man is blind and has been for quite a while, so as you aged together, he never actually saw your face for long. But, when he did, you would be surprised when he didn't compliment your face and frame, but rather your traits and how you were with your children

🌸 It was the day that you received a letter from Sora, your mother and your previous Oiran, that your husband finally understood why you preferred to keep your past behind you

"Oyakata-sama, we at the Butterfly Estate have received a letter important to your wife." Shinobu said gently as he handed the paper to your children.

🌸 Hinaki kept her smile as she lightly grasped the written-on note, her short {H/C} hair moving in the wind while her sister, Nichika, stood beside their father, making sure he stayed upright since you were gone for a small training with Zenitsu Agatsuma

"Thank you for showing me this, my child. You are excused."

🌸 Shinobu bowed and wished Kagaya good health before walking away, her hand being laid on her sword's handle bottom. Meanwhile, you landed the final slash against Zenitsu's blade, making it fly into the air and land in your hand

"Ugh! I'm never gonna get better..." The young slayer said, planting his head into the dirt.

"Your swordsmanship is getting better, Agatsuma. Don't beat yourself up about such a minor failure. Remember, I was once a Hashira." You chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah..." He mumbled.

"Lady Ubuyashiki!" You heard a peppy cheer behind you, making you spin around and sheath your sword.

"What is it you need, Mitsuri?" You asked.

"Oyakata-sama wished for your presence back at your estate."

"Oh, well thank goodness we finished our training up now. And Mitsuri, when are you free to cook again?"

"Anytime, my next mission is set to happen in about four days!" She said cheerily with her cute smile on her face.

"Perfect, I shall stop by after tomorrow."

"Okay! See you then, Lady Ubuyashiki!"

🌸 As you jumped from place to place back to your estate, you landed back down on the floor. Taking your old haori off and folding it to have one of your children put it away, you strolled down the halls to you and your husband's room

🌸 You caught sight of your husband sitting down with your four daughters and son in your room, recanting an old story he memorized long ago before their births. And as they announced your presence, he smiled and told them to go outside and play while you both talked

"Make sure you come inside before the sun burns your skin." You said as they walked off to grab their ball to play.

"Y/N... I have obtained a letter from a woman named Sora. She said, by what Hinaki said, she wished to visit you and wished you good luck away from the Entertainment District in Yoshiwara. I meant not to pry into your privacy, but please tell me the truth; did you work in a Oiran house?"

🌸 Sighing and sitting down in front of your husband, you grasped his hands gently, rubbing your fingers against the dorsal of his hand

"My love, that is true. But to a different degree. My mother was a courtesan in Lady Sora's estate. She had gotten pregnant one night and it resulted in me being born, due to her part in the estate, she had to return with me after a couple years. I grew up there until my former master, Sakonji Urokodaki, took me away with my mother's permission and trained me to become a demon slayer." You said. "But, I don't hate my past. Without that, I wouldn't have met you and had our amazing children. You are the only person I will ever love, I promise."

"I had no doubt in that, Y/N. I just wished to understand the letter more. And I am happy to meet a woman you seemingly look upon highly."

"I love you, Kagaya." You said as you kissed his head.

"And I love you just as much, Y/N."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Rengoku Kyojuro ═════════════════════════╝

❤️‍🔥 When you first met Rengoku, you were caught off-guard by how kind and pure of heart he was. He had approached you when you became a pillar with your fellow Sakonji-trained slayer, Tomioka Giyuu

❤️‍🔥 You began to hang around Rengoku whenever you noticed Giyuu was busy or needed some kind of space. And as you two spent more time together, the Water and Love Hashiras began to ask you both on what was going on with you two

"Hey Rengoku! Can I ask you something?" Mitsuri asked. "Go ahead!" "You've been hanging out with L/N a lot more lately. And you seemingly get red in the face when they look at you, do you like them?" "..." "Oh my gosh! You do! How cute! You guys would have the cutest children! I wonder if they're have yours of her hair colors! Or your eyes!" "Mitsuri..."

~

"Y/N... I noticed you've been around Rengoku a lot more. Is there any specific reason for it?" Giyuu asked you. "Eh- what do you mean, Giyuu?" "Every time you walk away from him, he seems to dim. As if he was sad to see you go. Like a child when their puppy runs away from them." "He may just be sad because his friend had something new to do." "Or he likes you beyond friendship." "...Well that was blatant...and Giyuu! That's highly doubtful. Why would someone as cheery and loving as Rengoku like someone like me..." "Who knows? I'm not Rengoku." "Giyuu!"

❤️‍🔥 Later that week, you and Rengoku were set to go on a mission on what was believed to be a lowermoon's location. And during the entire fight, he seemingly got more aggressive when the demon tried touching you

❤️‍🔥 The demon specifically had wrapped his long and stretchy arms around your waist, making you freeze and go into a survival instinct mode. You grabbed your sword and stabbed his eye, making him flinch away in pain as Rengoku went in for the kill

❤️‍🔥 The Flame Hashira brought you back to the Wisteria Estate and began to speak with you after cleaning up and he asked you why you seemingly froze up and acted on pure instincts as if you have done that before

❤️‍🔥 You sighed and curled into a ball, making Rengoku sit beside you and make a gesture to hug you. And, when you saw him, you jumped into his arms and started crying and telling him about everything

❤️‍🔥 From your mother to your past Oiran to the multiple men who tried to make you into a courtesan despite your younger age -you didn't even reach 18 at that time- to when you left and lost all contact with your mother, which with the touch of the demon making all of those memories flash back

"Oh L/N... I had no idea. I'm so sorry." He said, his voice slightly down from his volume.

"It's alright... it's nice to get that off my chest though. Thank you for listening, Rengoku."

"Kyojuro. You can call me Kyojuro."

"Then you can call me Y/N."

❤️‍🔥 As you smiled at one another, you laid your head down on his shoulder, making him wrap his arms around you tightly, as if he was saying 'you were safe' and 'he was going to protect you'

❤️‍🔥 This... this is why you loved the Flame Hashira, Rengoku Kyojuro

[srbachchan]

DAY 6005

Jalsa, Mumbai July 27, 2024/July 28 Sat/Sun 2:37 am

.. the body moves .. not quite as before .. but moves .. movements are an integral part of our living .. we are brought here in this Universe to move .. move out move above move about and around , but move ..

I sought the pt's of movement for us likes and are given the directions that pertain to the fact of how movement is the crucible of necessity ..

"For an 82-year-old male, maintaining movement is crucial for overall health and well-being. Gentle activities like walking, swimming, or tai chi can help enhance mobility, strength, and balance. Stretching exercises improve flexibility, reducing the risk of injury. Light resistance training can preserve muscle mass and bone density. It's essential to include regular breaks and avoid overexertion. Social activities like dancing or group exercises provide both physical and mental benefits. Consulting with a healthcare professional before starting any new exercise regimen is important to ensure safety and to tailor the activities to the individual's health status and physical capabilities."

.. and so I move ..

but enough of the 'i' .. it's time to bring in the 'they' .. 'they' are the necessity of the movement living .. for the simple reason that what 'they' induce you with , becomes the movement legacy .. 'they' may never feel so , but the fact is just that .. MOVE ..

blessed are we that are the face of public appearance .. and the 'they' comes in with immense intensity to justify our beliefs and aforementioned detail ..

when 'they' burst we explode .. when 'they' explode we hold on to their tails and travel where 'they' do or go .. 'they' go to destinations known to them but 'they' carry our destinations as well .. without them we have no destination .. our final peak is theirs .. and that is how we be ..

In a few hours from now .. well .. quite a few hours from now at the GOJ .. there shall be meets and greets and shares and givings and reciprocation .. that is life , reciprocation .. get one give two ..

and the interpretation be theirs as well .. we learn from them .. 'they' are the spirit that educates .. 'they' teach professionally .. we follow in the lead given ..

the mention of the 95% and 98% is ever adorned with great appreciation .. but 'they' teach us that there are those that achieve from the 50% to the 60% also..

are their achievements any less ..

they deserve the lead as well , to swell the encouragement to keep the growth ..

and growth is movement ..

SO ..

MOVE ..

MY LOVE CARE and my affection for them that strain .. strain to move forward .. a step or two may be and NOT a gallop .. but a step all the same ..

'take the strain .... HEAVE ' !!!!

Amitabh Bachchan

[singular-ghost-sound]

Hi there, my lovely friends! I kindly ask that you read all the way through as this post is about KOSA

I would also like to apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes. That is unfortunately not my strong suit lol also, please send me any updated information that anybody has. As unfortunately, I am very bad about getting any information as I am not allowed to have discord and be in the anti-KOS a discord chat. 😭

Hi! My name is Bella, and I run The one, and only singular ghost sound gimmick blog on Tumblr :D

A fun fact about me I am a queer teenager who happens to live in a very homophobic part of the US, and in a part of the world, that would be directly affected by the KOSA act 

Thankfully—as far as I’m aware with my own research and what I’ve read— I would not personally be as much affected by the kids on the safety act in the same way that other people would be. As I fall just outside of the age that the bill is meant to affect the most (16 and younger)

However, my two younger brothers, both who are in the LGBTQ community would be.

Now for those of you who don’t know what the kids online safety act (KOSA) is:

The kids online safety act is in law currently being discussed in the Senate of the US that would make it to where parents and the government would have full control over what anybody under the age of 16 could consume on the internet.

This would mean things like

LGBTQ representation, POC representation, mental health resources, certain religions, and information about anything, considered taboo in any way, shape or form, would no longer be accessible to people who are under the age of 16. And on top of that online safe places would be completely eradicated.

 The kids, online safety act we take away the safe place of MANY people in the world. Including those over the age of 16, as the Internet would be HIGHLY restricted.

I grew up, lucky enough that I had parents that were willing to share with me and my siblings about sex, Ed, the LGBTQ+ community, many different religions, the good, and the bad of history, and many different things. 

There are so many people that I know personally, who did not grow up with that kind of family. So many people who would have been kicked out if their family knew that they were gay or trans in any way shape or form.

There is so many people that I know who has been physically mentally or even sexually abused by guardians and people who should’ve protected them, and who only learned what happened to them was wrong BECAUSE of the Internet.

I know so many people who only learned about what safe sex was because of the Internet, or through ME as they did not have people who would’ve been willing to teach it to them.

The kids on the safety act would take away so much from the people who really need it the most. And on top of that, it would give their parents or guardians access to all the stuff that they see online.  and so they would be unable to access any safe place on the Internet. 

KOSA is designed not to help those who were accidentally or purposefully coming across porn and access to drugs and other illegal things.(like the people in power saying it is)

But is designed to keep those who need LGBTQ representation or POC representation in mental health resources from getting the Information and representation that they need.

I am urging everybody to please contact your senators, and have your family and friends, contact your senator and ask them to say NO to the KOSA bill.

Please know that you don’t need to have a long lengthy speech. They don’t act on those. They act on the quantity of what they get about the same subject.  

I would also like to GREATLY thank @dragonoftheunderground for letting be know that this was back. So ty my friend :D

Ty for reading :D here are some ghosts for the long post :D



[babyspacebatclone]

One of the newer daycare teachers at my center was complaining about a specific child - who has a lot going on we’re still trying to map out, but definitely some type on developmentally divergent on top of attachment issues with their single mom.

Anyway, said kid, a little under 4 years old, was resisting doing art, which was really upsetting the one one teacher when the other (who’s worked with this kid for over 2 years) was basically like “Ok, not today, this isn’t a good day for you.”

One thing I do when I find kids at the center resisting my instructions is asking “Why” - on me.

Why am I asking this child to do something?

“What they are doing isn’t safe” and “What they are doing is harming another child” are obviously good reasons for me to pursue my point.

“Maintain structure” is, honestly, generally a good reason, where “structure” is the regular rules and expectations of the class and schedule.

Having a predictable structure helps most children feel safe, because they don’t have to be the adult and decide what is going to happen - their teachers are the ones that set boundaries for safety, have their physical needs met, and create expectations that allow them to develop patience and delayed gratification.

But forcing a child to participate in an activity? Not just “now it is art, because we do art every day” but “you must do art??”

Asking my “Why, what is the child getting out of this” devolves down after a few levels to:

The child has to learn to comply over their own mental health.

Even the more experienced teacher who let the one kid sit out and rest from art is irritated when children refuse to sit quietly during Circle Time, which pisses me off because all the trainings I’ve taken on Circle Time say “have a quiet activity optional for children who don’t want to sit and participate.”

Sadly, as I was discussing this with my other Autistic coworker at closing, we agreed that “Conformity despite mental health” is a primary rule in modern education, and both of us despite being aware of the obvious issues with this are powerless to even motivate major change within our own center without taking “Room Lead” roles.

Which we both agree would break either of us. 😓

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

Can we have creator wanting to die thing you wrote but with Xiao or venti? İ love my anemo boys. Could be a tic, or if you're lasy just write it as what you think would happen i would appriciate both if you could 🫶

Oooo!! There's an idea! Actually these two would be very interesting to write for me.

-

Venti actually in my head is most likely one of the first to find out about the creator. I've already wrote how it happened in my first oneshot for this so you can scroll my profile for it. But! It's how he acts after that really gets my brain screaming. He would be such a depressed mess, absolutely devastated with himself for harming the divine. Seeing their body turn to ash while smiling had definitely messed him up a bit.

If he finds them again then all hell breaks loose, cause he is definitely gonna try and lock them in a safe place. Though that isn't really successful since creator being so mentally broken can and will find a way to experience another death. Though they can say goodbye to falling from high places as a method cause now the winds of Teyvat just refuse to let them end up as a splatter of muscle and blood, it's especially annoying in trying to push them to safety because of Venti's active paranoia over them.

He also would be helping Nahida in spreading the word to the other archons about the situation, though he very much will take the blame for being one of the first to harm them when they first arrived.

-

Xiao? Oh god Xiao has had enough trauma this is so painful dhskdjf. Because while Xiao I can see as more of a casual follower kind of, the fact that Morax would be such a big worshipper is probably the reason why Xiao would be protective of the Primordial Mother's honor.

It's why he would have the highest kill count, both to dispell any opportunity for Morax to get angry and to uphold the creator's honorable visage.

Which is why if I feel like the more he encounters the broken creator, who is constantly seeking for a more entertaining death, the more likely he becomes...almost worried? Like he would mainly think it's just another lunatic that is super obsessed with the creator that they physically changed their image to look like them as a way to feel closer, but as time went on and each one talks about the previous' death. He would definitely become suspicious.

Normally how I think about why no one found out right away from their first time killing the creator is because it's a common thing to not look at the body of an "imposter" or "heretic" as they die, solely because seeing them in such a state while having the Primordial Mother's face would be a disgrace to them. So they typically wait until the body is gone, and by then the golden blood has disappeared.

This is how Xiao would find out, he would directly look at them as they died before him to fully understand. And upon seeing that golden does the reality of the situation hit him harder than any karmic debt pain he's felt. All those countless deaths, all those bodies that piled up from him. It was the same god, the same creator who the entirety of Teyvat loved.

It's definitely going to eat at him, practically devour his mind and almost shatter his mental state. But instead of fully breaking down, he runs to Morax, the adeptus, anyone he can think of to try to rectify the mistakes he and the others of Liyue have made.

When the creator is put into a safe place by the time the entirety of Teyvat knows, he's the first to volunteer as a guard. To make up for not protecting them like he should've from the beginning. Though this isn't gonna be good for either's mental health since the creator would just beg him to kill them, and him begging them to not say such things and to please forgive him.

[hunter216]

Been seeing alot of these around recently and i'm kinda bored so I figured I'd do one.

5 notes = i'll clean my room (guess i'm doing this in the morning before school)

10 notes = I'll look after myself more (mentally and physically)(including trying to remember to drink water more often) (ok, i'll start trying to be a bit better at this)

20 notes = i'll come out to my brother as aroace (ok well… I was not expecting to get this that quickly but I’ll try and do this sometime this week)

50 notes = i'll come out to my brother as trans (for safety reasons, I may not do this depending on how he reacts to me being aroace) (Ok so… I’ve already told him I’m not cis, and he seems ok with it… but i haven’t like properly told him “hey, so I’m a boy now” so ig that’s what I’m doing now. And halfway there to telling my mum… fucking hell… well then… that happened faster than I expected)

100 notes = I'll come out to my mom as trans (already have plans on how and kinda when I want to do it, but I need a bit of motivation to actually do it) (Forgot to update this but i've already done both this and the next one (tell my dad) so i'm going to change the goals a bit)

200 notes = I'll come out to my parents as aroace

300 notes = I'll try and start being more open with people and not hide my feelings from everyone

500 notes = I'll try and talk to people about my mental health more and consider getting therapy for my trauma