Hey. I was preparing countless things for the pride rally in town when I got an email with a file attached to it. The email itself didn't even say anything, but the file has a very weird name 'MagaConmp3' I thought it may just be a dumb prank, but I accidentally played the file instead of deleting it.
As the MagaConmp3 file begins to play, a dull, persistent buzz starts to resonate in the back of your head. This buzz gradually builds into an invasive whisper, its harsh, cruel tone cutting through your thoughts. You glance down at the rainbow flags and protest signs around you, your expression contorting into a sneer of disgust.
Suddenly, a sharp pain knifes through your stomach, causing you to double over in discomfort. You release a huge, resounding fart that ripples through the air, the sound echoing with a strangely unsettling clarity. PPPPPPFFFFFFFT The unexpected noise is accompanied by a violent bout of coughing, each hack reverberating through your chest.
As you cough, you notice an odd sensation creeping over you—your voice deepens, taking on a new, resonant timbre. You begin to rise, but your growing height goes unnoticed. Your boyish face starts to undergo a dramatic transformation, the soft, youthful contours giving way to something more angular and sculpted. The fat of youth melts away, replaced by the sharp lines of a face carved from the very essence of bro’s bravado.
The jawline is pronounced, almost exaggerated, proclaiming “I lift weights, bro!” in bold, silent declarations. Your skin shifts to a bronzed hue, a testament to excessive tanning and an artificial glow of faux-confidence. Your eyes, now squinting through a perpetual smirk, reflect a sense of entitlement and privilege. Your hair is meticulously styled, each strand set in place with military precision, though it perpetually looks like it’s one touch-up away from perfection.
As you breathe in the lingering gaseous fart, you feel a new, unfamiliar sense of self-assurance settling over you. The voice in your head echoes with a taunting affirmation: "That’s it, bro… feel what it’s like to be a real man." This voice is both a command and a validation, wrapping you in a veneer of arrogance and privilege, as you fully embody the swaggering, self-satisfied demeanor of your new, inflated identity.
As the pale skin on your body begins to darken, the transformation is nothing short of radical. The tan spreads with a warm, bronze hue that seeps into your very being, with each passing moment, your physique morphs into an embodiment of sheer, unapologetic muscle-bound bravado.
Your chest swells into an impressive expanse of bulging pectorals, so defined and large that any shirt daring to contain it seems on the verge of bursting. Each contour and ripple of your pecs is a testament to endless hours of bench presses and dumbbell flyes, meticulously sculpted to showcase a dedication to the "jacked" aesthetic.
The six-pack abs below are equally dramatic, each section as pronounced as a topographical map, striated and blocky like granite carved by an artist's hand. They reflect a relentless regimen of crunches, leg raises, and unyielding commitment to physical perfection. Below, your bubble butt—a rounded, firm rear—radiates anatomical excellence, a result of meticulous squats and deadlifts performed with precision.
Your legs become thick and powerful, tapering into massive quads that appear ready to handle any physical challenge with effortless ease. The definition in your thighs is so pronounced that they seem to exert their own gravitational pull. The transition from your thighs to your calves is seamless, culminating in muscular calves as solid as marble.
Your arms are monumental, with biceps and triceps bulging and undulating with an impressive volume. When flexed, they form mountainous peaks that seem to defy physics, each muscle fiber a testament to relentless curling and pressing. The veins in your arms are like serpentine pathways, tracing the immense flow of blood that fuels your muscle-bound glory.
The Adam's apple in your throat stands out prominently, a thick, jutting protrusion that serves as a physical declaration of your masculinity. It seems as if the very essence of manliness has been distilled into this singular, dominant feature.
With each passing moment, you feel a surge of strength coursing through your veins, as if the very essence of masculinity has been injected into your being. Your muscles ache with a delicious pain, a reminder of the countless hours spent in the gym, pushing your body to its limits. You can almost hear the clink of beer bottles and the roar of the crowd from your college football games, the adrenaline still pumping through your veins.
As you stand before the mirror, admiring your new physique, you feel a sense of pride that borders on arrogance. You are no longer the scrawny, liberal weakling you once were; you are a true alpha male, ready to take on the world and dominate in every aspect of your life.
You flex your muscles one last time, watching as they ripple and dance beneath your skin. You feel a sense of power and control, as if you could conquer anything that stands in your way. With a confident grin, you step out into the world, ready to show everyone what a real man looks like.
The voice in your head grows louder, its presence becoming more insistent. It echoes with a tone of affirmation and command: "That's it, bro… embrace the true essence of what it means to be a real man. Relive those moments of glory, let them fuel you. You’ve earned this—every rep, every drink, every party. This is who you are now."
The voice wraps around your consciousness like a comforting cloak, affirming your new identity and the status that comes with it. It propels you forward, urging you to fully embrace this new persona, a symbol of dominance and preppy frat bro culture.
The brash voice in your head grows louder, shouting crudely with a thick southern drawl: "No homo, right bro? You ain't one of those weak, pathetic libtrads, are ya?" Suddenly, your memories of marching in pride parades vanish into thin air. The vivid recollection of that passionate kiss with the cute twink begins to morph in your mind, transforming into a slutty, thin bimbo. You're momentarily confused, your thoughts a jumbled mess, but soon a familiar warmth starts to spread through your body. Your mind fixates on the imagined curves of her breasts, and a cocky grin slowly spreads across your face. You scratch at the newly formed stubble on your chin, feeling the rough texture beneath your fingertips. "Damn, I could use a beer," you think to yourself, craving the bitter taste of alcohol.
With a newfound sense of purpose, you log onto TikTok, ready to unleash your pent-up frustrations. You start recording, your voice dripping with disdain: "Listen up, you weak-willed liberals! It's time someone set you straight. You think you're so damn woke, but all you are is a bunch of pathetic crybabies. Grow a pair and man up, for fuck's sake!" Your rant continues, spewing hateful rhetoric against the "woke" agenda. You feel a surge of pride as you embrace your newfound conservative views, the anger and resentment fueling your every word.
As you scroll through your feed, you come across a video of a scantily clad woman twerking, and you can't help but stare, your eyes glued to the screen. "Now that's what I'm talking about," you mutter under your breath, feeling a rush of excitement. You click "like" on the video, a small act of rebellion against the so-called "woke" police.
The more you immerse yourself in this new worldview, the more you feel like you're finally seeing things clearly. The fog of liberalism has lifted, and you can think for yourself once again. You start following conservative influencers, their words resonating with you on a deep level. You feel a sense of belonging, as if you've finally found your tribe.
As the day wears on, you find yourself drawn to the local bar, eager to drown your sorrows and celebrate your newfound identity. You order a beer, the cold liquid sliding down your throat with each gulp. The more you drink, the louder your voice becomes, your rants growing more passionate and aggressive. You're no longer the quiet, reserved person you once were; you're a proud, unapologetic conservative, ready to take on the world..
As you continue your rant on TikTok, your voice slowly shifts, morphing into a thick, southern drawl. You spit venom at the liberal fags, your words dripping with disdain: "You weak-ass liberals don't know the first thing about being a real man. It's time for you to wake up and smell the coffee, you pathetic excuses for human beings!"
You flex your muscles on screen, your biceps bulging as you strain against the fabric of your shirt. The likes start pouring in, thousands upon thousands of dumb chicks and thirsty fags desperate for your attention. You feel a surge of power, knowing that you hold the reins of their admiration.
Suddenly, a thick, gold cross necklace materializes around your neck, the cool metal resting against your skin. Memories of church and God flood your mind, your faith growing stronger with each passing second. You flex your muscles once again, thanking Jesus almighty for blessing you with such an amazing body. "I am a soldier of Christ," you mutter under your breath, your eyes gleaming with righteousness.
Your phone buzzes with a text message, and you see that it's from one of your horny sidepieces, a dumb bitch who is fawning all over you. She sends you a half-naked photo of herself, and you feel your cock twitch in your pants, growing harder with each passing second. You demand that she meets you at the local bar, eager to plow her tonight. "I'll make you scream for Jesus," you type, a wicked grin spreading across your face.
You sign off to your million Republican followers, your voice booming with confidence: "Catch you later fam, once again this has been Clayton Brock. Later, bitches!" You feel a sense of pride, knowing that you're part of the elite group of privileged white, Republican douchebags. You cackle like a hyena, your mind as dumb as a box of rocks, but your ego as big as the state of Texas.
You head to another bar, ready to meet your sidepiece and unleash your pent-up desires. The world is yours for the taking, and you're not afraid to claim what's rightfully yours. You're a god among men, and everyone else is just collateral damage in your quest for power and pleasure.
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Digimon Adventure 01x39 - Two Great Ultimate Evolutions! Push Back the Darkness / The Battle for Earth
Previously on Digimon Adventure: Vamdemon came back in a Biblical way and began destroying Odaiba via rainbow hip thrusts. To stop him from eating everybody, Takeru and Hikari shot their brothers full of arrows. More importantly, PicoDevimon fucking died.
The first full minute of this episode is just replaying the cool CGI Warp-Evolution sequences from the end of the previous. Both because they're fucking cool and to set the stage for the fight to come, with Show Me Your Brave Heart already blaring.
This is immediately followed by their rundowns, before we've even seen any of the kids. WarGreymon is an Ultimate-stage Vaccine-type Dragon Person Digimon. MetalGarurumon is an Ultimate-stage Data-type Cyborg Digimon.
Kinda weird that MetalGarurumon was a Vaccine for his whole evolution chain until now and suddenly becomes Data. That's because these two come from the same evolution tree in the V-Pet, which has one Ultimate for each of the three types.
WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon are from the Metal Empire line - along with the Virus Ultimate Mugendramon, who we'll get to meet shortly. Though the 0.5 rerelease several months after this episode would replace Mugendramon with VenomVamdemon; An obvious bit of tie-in synergy that doesn't really fit the theme of Metal Empire.
Narrator: WarGreymon. An Ultimate-stage Digimon Warp-Evolved from Agumon. His special attack Gaia Force gathers ki from his surrounding area and unleashes it all at once.
I think we all understand the concept of chi or ki but just in case, it's the natural energy that exists in all things but especially living things, which can be harnessed, regulated, and controlled according to certain belief systems. Basically what George Lucas ripped off when he invented the Force.
Gaia Force is basically the Genki-dama/Spirit Bomb from Dragon Ball. Pretty unapologetically, in fact; Wait 'til you see it in action.
Narrator: MetalGarurumon. An Ultimate-stage Digimon Warp-Evolved from Gabumon. His special attack, Cocytus Breath, freezes his enemies solid before he smashes them to pieces!
Oh look, there's another ancient mythology reference from the nerds over at Digimon Adventure. :P Cocytus is a lesser-known one of the five rivers that encircles the Greek underworld, literally named "Lamentation". But it's more likely that this is a reference to Dante's Inferno, whose author borrowed many things from the Greek underworld.
In the Inferno, Cocytus is the ninth and final circle of Hell; A frozen wasteland where betrayers are confined. This is where Satan is found, held captive in the ice at the center. You can see the connection between that and the frosty power MetalGarurumon intends to bring to bear against the (Wiki Article who can Punch You version of the) Beast of Revelations today.
Izzy: (rundown) It's WarGreymon! It says here his attack is Terra Force. Gathering the energy around him and focusing it in the palm of his hand!
Izzy: (rundown) MetalGarurumon has his Metal Wolf Claw attack! He shoots a powerful cold blast at his enemies, then blows them to pieces!
Unsurprisingly, Izzy does not have the nerve to reference Dante's Inferno right now.
Koushiro: Ultimate-stage... They've evolved into Ultimate-stage Digimon!
Tentomon: Well, I feel less useful now.
Yamato: Yeah, you're right.
Tentomon: What.
In the wake of the two Ultimate evolutions, Tentomon self-deprecates. To which Yamato hilariously agrees, prompting a short but clearly agitated response. XD Fucking rude, Yamato. Holding Taichi's hand is making his bad habits rub off on you.
In the dub:
Izzy: Mega Digimon! They Digivolved into their Mega Digimon forms!
Tentomon: That's great, 'cause we'll need them to beat VenomMyotismon!
Matt: Yeah! That's for sure!
Tentomon: Good luck! I'll wait here....
Really? Come on, dub team. That joke was right up your alley. You love it when the kids are mean to each other for no good reason.
WarGreymon kicks us off, wreathing himself in energy and launching himself into VenomVamdemon like a bullet.
The attack hits so hard it knocks VenomVamdemon off his feet and sends him crashing down into the rubble. The observation deck from the Fuji broadcasting center rolls by. Remember when we blew up Fuji TV? Remember how cool that was!?
I jest, but there's a narrative purpose to showing us the observation deck again. WarGreymon didn't just hit VenomVamdemon, he shoved him all the way back to the FCG Building. Remember, he's trying to close the distance to Big Sight, and we want him to not do that. There's about a mile of space where, if he finishes crossing it, thousands of people will die.
This big energy tackle of WarGreymon's pushed VenomVamdemon all the way back to his starting point. Which is way more of a hit than anyone's been able to do to him thus far.
The humans hops back in the van because now they have to drive half a mile to get back to the fight.
Taichi: GO, WARGREYMON!!!
Hikari: SO POWERFUL!!!
VenomVamdemon climbs back to his feet. MetalGarurumon follows up on the attack, opening up countless panels on his body and firing off missiles in every direction.
(Uh. Hopefully the ones that didn't go in VenomVamdemon's direction are homing missiles or something. Please do not randomly destroy parts of Odaiba, MetalGarurumon. The devastation is bad enough as it is.)
MetalGarurumon's ice missiles slam into VenomVamdemon, exploding and freezing every part of him that they hit. Encasing his whole body in an icy prison.
(Kind of like Satan in Cocytus, yes, I got your reference.)
Takeru: Ah!
Yamato: Amazing!
The Yagamis are much more enthusiastic with their cheering than Yamato and Takeru. XD Taichi is hollering his lungs off, while Yamato's in the back seat like, "Pretty cool, yeah."
...wait, why is Yamato in the back seat? His dad is driving; How the hell did Taichi pull shotgun?
In the dub, Izzy joins in the cheering for the sake of silence-breaking.
Izzy: WAY TO GO, WARGREYMON!!! YOU CREAMED HIM!!! ...I think....
Tai: Look! There they go! Get after him, WarGreymon!
Kari: Put his lights out!
MetalGarurumon: ICE WOLF CLAW!!!
(MetalGarurumon follows up with ice missiles)
T.K.: Frozen!
Matt: Solid!
The missiles aren't called as an attack in the original, but the dub identifies them as MetalGarurumon's signature move. Kind of odd because there's no clawing involved, but Cocytus Breath doesn't sound like it has clawing involved either so I'm not sure what's up with that attack name to begin with.
Unfortunately, VenomVamdemon won't go down that easily. Drawing up his power, he breaks free from the ice holding him.
VenomVamdemon: RAAAAAAAARGH!!!
MetalGarurumon: He can't...!
WarGreymon: How can he do that!?
VenomVamdemon: Now I'm mad... NOW I'M MAD!!! VENOM INFUSE!!!
NO MY CONFIGURATION DATA
Finally unveiling his signature move, VenomVamdemon shoots out his Venom Infuse as rainbow streaks from his eyes. Notably different from the disintegration rainbow streaks from his crotch.
Unfortunately, these attacks do not disintegrate their targets. A stray blast knocks half of a building loose, sending it down almost on top of Hiroaki's van. He swerves to avoid being crushed, but the impact sends him into a rollover. R.I.P. to the party bus; It's been a valuable member of this team.
In the dub, VenomMyotismon continues to be more verbose than his counterpart.
VenomMyotismon: GYAAAAGH!!!
MetalGarurumon: It didn't work!
VenomMyotismon: Your miserable attempts to destroy me have failed! Now you will pay! Hehe... Hehehehehe... AHAHAHAHA!!!
(VenomMyotismon shoots unnamed rainbow beams from his eyes)
The dub does not name Venom Infuse. Instead, VenomMyotismon just... laughs... for five straight seconds. Must have been thinking of something really funny. Consequently, it's not really clear that this is supposed to be the big attack, so it just looks like he's shooting more ambiguous projectiles at them.
The dub also gives Hiroaki a silence-breaker when the car flips over.
Hiroaki: Everybody out! Get clear of the van!
If it seems weird that he's making it sound like the van's a threat, remember those American cultural sensibilities at play. Americans are confident that cars will explode into a fireball at the slightest provocation. It's a miracle they're all not burning to death already.
The humans climb out of the car and run for cover to avoid being hit by the next stray shot. Though Masami, it seems, was injured in the crash; Hiroaki supports him and helps him limp to safety.
Meanwhile, at Big Sight, the others watch the fighting from a distance.
Shin emerges from the convention center to join the three Chosen Children.
Jou: Ah! Shin-niisan! How's Dad doing?
Shin: No change.
(Jou and the girls all slump in disappointment)
Gomamon: We'll have to defeat Vamdemon if we want them to wake up.
Mimi: My Papa and Mama.... (face hardens) I want to defeat Vamdemon!
Palmon: Mimi! I can still fight!
Mimi: (smiling) Palmon....
As seen when Lilimon first evolved, this is what gets Mimi riled up. Mimi fights to end the fighting, so that she won't have to fight again. She does not want to be here, and her power comes from her straightforward and honest desire to reach a conclusion.
Piyomon: Sora?
(Sora kneels down to get on Piyomon's level; Piyomon simply nods to her)
Sora: Okay!
Jou: (affectionately) You guys....
Sora and Piyomon are on the same wavelength, to the point that they don't even need to exchange words. They feel what the other is feeling and agree.
Suddenly, Gomamon jumps onto Jou and then clambers up his body until he reaches Jou's shoulders, draping himself over Jou's head like a hood.
Gomamon: "Let's go, Gomamon!" How come I'm not hearing those words?
Jou: Heh... Alright! LET'S GO, GOMAMON!!!
Gomamon: YOU GOT IT!!!
And Jou's better learned how to take charge and be bold as a leader from Gomamon. He sprints towards VenomVamdemon without another word, ready to join the fighting.
Sora: (bows to Shin) Please take care of my mother!
(Sora runs off after Jou)
Mimi: (to Shin, does not bow) My Papa and Mama too!
(Mimi runs off after Sora and Jou)
Shin: Don't do anything reckless....
In the dub:
Joe: Jim, how's Dad? Is there any improvement yet?
Jim: No, still exactly the same.
Gomamon: Alright, I'm tired of fooling around! We have to defeat Myotismon once and for all!
Mimi: Our parents always protected us. Now it's time we came through for them!
Palmon: Mimi! If we do it together, we can beat him!
Mimi: Think so?
Palmon: Mhm!
Biyomon: I'll try!
Sora: You will!?
Biyomon: Yeah! Mhm!
Sora: Okay!
Joe: We already tried!
Gomamon: So we'll keep on trying, Joe! Because Digimon never give up!
(Gomamon climbs up Joe)
Gomamon: Like they always say: All for 'mon and 'mon for all!
Joe: Hahahaha.... YOU'RE RIGHT!!! WE CAN DO IT!!! LET'S GET 'EM GUYS!!!
(Joe runs off into battle)
Sora: (bows to Jim) You'll have to excuse Joe; He's a little hyperactive.
(Sora runs off after Joe)
Mimi: (to Jim, does not bow) Please take care of our parents, Jim!
(Mimi runs off after Sora and Joe)
Jim: Good luck, you guys.
Doesn't really capture the moment of strength and determination that this is supposed to be for each of these three characters.
Also, why is Sora apologizing to Joe's older brother for the way he behaves? Jim should already know what Joe's like.
At the FCG Building, the humans have somehow managed to separate from one another despite all being together when they exited the van.
While the Digimon fight, the humans run around calling for one another.
Taichi: HIKARI!!!
Hikari: ONII-CHAN!!!
Hikari's voice momentarily distracts Angewomon. She looks down at her human on the ground and misses when a large piece of rubble comes flying her way. By the time she notices it, it's too late to avoid.
Yamato: TAKERU!!!
Takeru: ONII-CHAN!!!
VenomVamdemon backhands Angemon into a nearby building's wall. He crashes near the three adults, who've somehow managed to stay together while losing track of all five children. Great adulting, guys. A+ job.
Izzy: DAD!!! MOM!!!
Tentomon: Ah! The others are here!
Birdramon, Ikkakumon, and Togemon all charge aggressively at VenomVamdemon's heel.
Togemon: VAMDEMON!!! WE'RE HERE TO FIGHT TOO!!!
Tentomon: I'm going to join in!
Man, that shot really puts into perspective how gigantic he really is.
The dub edits the shot of Angewomon getting struck by the rubble. We see the rock carrying her to the ground, but not her momentary distraction or the moment of impact.
They don't edit Angemon getting backhanded into a wall, though. Only Angewomon getting smashed by a rock is edited to obscure which angel got hit. She doesn't even get to make a pain yelp like in the original; We just hear Vamdemon roaring while a rock smashes a vaguely angelic character.
Weird.
I suspect it's about her visible gender. Creatives, especially back in the day, sometimes get hand-wringy about letting violence happen to female characters. Boys are taught that you shouldn't hit a girl and they grow up thinking that's, like, a universal moral constant that women must never be harmed in any situation ever.
I mean, you shouldn't hit a girl. You also shouldn't hit a boy. You shouldn't hit anyone, except in circumstances that are already violent. But the problem is that boys internalize this not as "Don't do unwarranted violence to people" but as "Women are too weak and fragile for manly roughhousing."
Then they become writers and extend it to mean women can't be recipients of slapstick jokes, male heroes must never strike female villains even if they're actively fighting each other, or even that female heroes can never be shown being struck in combat. Or even go so far as to not let women be heroes because that would involve putting them in combat situations where they might get hit.
We've made a lot of strides since I was a kid in allowing female characters to get hit in both slapstick bits and action scenes. But for this turn-of-the-millennium show, that's the only reason I can think of for censoring Angewomon's rock but not Angemon's backhand. Someone in the office probably got nervous when a visibly humanoid woman was struck with a giant rock onscreen.
As for the kids yelling for one another, uh....
Tai: KARI!!!
Kari: WHERE ARE YA, TAI!?!?
Matt: TAI!!!
T.K.: GET 'EM, ANGEMON!!!
Izzy: MOM, DAD, I'M COMING!!!
Tentomon: Look, Izzy! All the others have Digivolved too! There's Ikkakumon and Togemon and Birdramon! I'm going in!
Tai and Kari stay on point, but Matt's more interested in hooking back up with Tai than in T.K.'s wellbeing and T.K.'s too focused on the fight to even care that he's lost.
Tentomon offers no surprise whatsoever to see the backup Digimon suddenly enter the battle and instead has evolution envy.
Tentomon evolves into Kabuterimon to join the fighting. With the whole team assembled, the only thing left to do is dogpile on VenomVamdemon's stupid crotch-face.
WarGreymon: Yes! Everyone, attack him together!
The entire team combines their attacks, firing into VenomVamdemon's crotch-face. Once their attacks have all struck, WarGreymon follows up by spinning super-fast and wreathing himself in energy. He launches an attack he calls Brave Tornado straight into the vulnerable spot in VenomVamdemon's crotch that they've opened up.
Ultimately, the attack plan works, penetrating through VenomVamdemon and bringing him to his knees.
Hiroaki: They got him.
The dub calls WarGreymon's attack "Mega Claw", reusing the name they gave to MetalGreymon's extendo-arm.
Too bad it's still not enough.
Out of the hole WarGreymon put in VenomVamdemon comes some sort of dark shadowy gremlin thing. To protect its secret identity, VenomVamdemon's crotch-goblin also wears a mask.
Mimi: KYAAAAHH!!!
Taichi: WH-WHAT THE HELL!?!?
In the dub, VenomMyotismon's given dialogue here. In the original, he's just roaring in a bestial rage.
VenomMyotismon: YAAARGH!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME!?!? HA!!! YOU'VE ONLY AWAKENED THE BEAST WITHIN!!!
(Crotch goblin emerges)
Mimi: AHHHHHH!!!
Tai: WHAT IS THAT THING!?
Before anyone can get their heads in the game, the crotch goblin attacks.
(Y'all, I am so glad I have screenshots because I don't know how I would even begin describing what is happening right now without illustrations.)
The crotch goblin sprays a burst of dark energy into the ground that explodes out radially, washing over every Digimon. It's a heavy blow to the whole team, knocking them all out of the action and leaving the children defenseless.
VenomVamdemon: I WILL DEVOUR ALL OF YOU!!!
The next half-minute or so is spent cycling through silent reaction shots of each Chosen Child individually. I've selected Hikari's because she hasn't gotten much snapshot screentime yet.
Y'all are lucky Mimi just got a big shared reaction shot with Taichi or this would've been her. YES I AM BIASED AND MY KID DESERVES RESP--
As usual, VenomMyotismon is more verbose than his counterpart. The silent reaction shots are also filled in with silence-breakers.
VenomMyotismon: NOW I'LL DEVOUR ALL OF YOU SO-CALLED DIGIDESTINED!!! YOU'VE STOOD IN MY WAY FOR THE LAST TIME!!!
Mimi: (thinking) It can't end like this!
Matt: (thinking) I let everyone down again!
Sora: (thinking) I wish I could have done more....
Izzy: (thinking) It's impossible he survived that!
Joe: (thinking) Maybe we should surrender....
T.K.: (thinking) This is scarier than the movies!
Kari: (gasp)
Tai: (thinking) I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Mimi, Matt, Sora, Izzy, and Tai are all pretty much perfect in terms of hopeless situation characterization. Joe's being characterized as a coward again. T.K. is... okay, I guess? They literally didn't even try with Kari.
Just when all seems lost, the Chosen Children's Crests begin to shine brightly.
Beams of holy energy emerge from the Crests, ensnaring VenomVamdemon's limbs and neck. Crotch goblin starts yelling at the kids.
VenomVamdemon (Crotch): RELEASE ME, YOU FILTHY CHOSEN CHILDREN!!!
Taichi: It talked? That's it! The disgusting bakemono must be Vamdemon's true form!
That's a leap in....
Oh, hey, no, he's right. That is the weird shadow ghoul thing possessing Vamdemon's mask last episode. I always thought it was weird that VenomVamdemon is supposed to be Vamdemon's "true form" 'cause, like, that implies he could transform like this at any time but allowed himself to be slain earlier for funsies.
But it's the crotch goblin. Vamdemon's true form is a formless undead spirit inhabiting a mask. Both the Dracula man and the Wiki Article Beast of Revelations are just outer shells he forms around him when he's consumed enough energy.
(I kind of love that a bakemono inside the Dracula is the true Vamdemon too because Vamdemon is the evolved form of Devimon and Bakemon, so that makes sense.)
This actually makes sense to me now.
The dub has Tai talk over the Crests glowing.
Tai: Huh!? My Crest! Everybody, look at your Crests! They're all starting to glow!
But once they start grabbing VenomMyotismon, he stays quiet and lets the scene play out until the crotch goblin starts talking.
VenomMyotismon (True Crotch): Curse you, DigiDestined! Curse you and your lousy Crests! Let go! Waugh! Let go!
Tai: Look at that! Mega freaky! I wonder if that monster represents Myotismon's actual form?
Tai reaches the same conclusion as Taichi but I guess it just didn't make sense to me as a kid because the only explanation he offers is that it's "mega freaky". To be fair, Taichi's not acting on that much more information.
Crotch goblin sounds way more pathetic in the dub. XD
Taichi has an idea now for how to win this
Taichi: WARGREYMON!!!
WarGreymon: Got it!
MetalGarurumon: WarGreymon!
MetalGarurumon bops the poor Fuji TV observation deck into the air, passing it to WarGreymon.
Sora: NICE PASS!!!
Children: SHOOT!!!
WarGreymon receives the observation deck like a soccer ball, shooting it straight into crotch goblin's dumb face. It lets out a shrill scream like a baby cry, forcing me to take back what I said about VenomMyotismon's crotch goblin being the more pathetic of the two.
The dub leans in on this.
Tai: WARGREYMON!!!
WarGreymon: Pass me the ball!
(MetalGarurumon silently passes it)
Sora: Nice pass.
Children: SHOOT!!!
Dub Sora sounds way less invested in the impromptu soccer game.
With VenomVamdemon momentarily stunned by the soccer shot, WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon fire up their strongest attacks. Sending Gaia Force and Cocytus Breath straight into VenomVamdemon's vulnerable crotch, they annihilate the little shadow wraith and finally, finally strike the kill-shot.
His true form destroyed by the overwhelming power of soccer hooliganism, VenomVamdemon breaks down, disintegrating into pixels chunk by chunk until nothing is left. The battle for Odaiba is finally, truly over.
With Vamdemon's true death, his spells break. The mesmerized adults at Big Sight wake up, with Tachikawa Keisuke being the first to speak up.
Keisuke: Huh? What happened?
Shin: Great job, Jou!
Glad to see Shin knows who the real hero here is. This was a triumph for Jou-senpai. And, to a lesser extent, his crew.
Their energy drained, Koromon and Tsunomon return to Taichi and Yamato. Yamato pets Tsunomon affectionately while Taichi hoists Kunomon aloft and dances.
Koromon: TAICHI!!!
Taichi: Great job, Koromon!
Yamato: You did well, Tsunomon.
Speaking of drained energy, Mimi notices an unidentified Digimon now among their group.
Mimi: Huh? Who are you?
Plotmon: I'm Plotmon. It's nice to meet you.
Plotmon is a Child-stage Data-type Mammal Digimon. I believe we already went over her V-Pet status back in her backstory episode, but she gets her formal rundown here.
Narrator: Plotmon. A Child Digimon with long, floppy ears. She is the degenerated form of Tailmon. Her special attack is Puppy Howling.
Hikari: Tailmon must be in her Child form now because she used up all her energy helping Agumon and Gabumon evolve to their Ultimate levels.
Jou: Kehhhhh...?
Jou doesn't get it but I do.
In the dub, apparently Mimi's parents know Joe's brother. Don't ask me how.
Keisuke: Hey, what happened, Jim?
Jim: IT MUST BE JOE AND THE OTHERS!!! THEY DID IT!!! THEY WON!!!
(Cut back to the FCG ruins)
Koromon: We did it, Tai! We did it!
Tai: Ahahahaha!
Tsunomon: Wasn't that cool, Matt?
Matt: Great job, Tsunomon!
Mimi: Look, a stray Digimon!
Salamon: Don't you recognize me? I was Gatomon.
Salamon: (rundown) What do I have to do, cough up a furball?
Kari: (rundown) That's Salamon, the Rookie form of Gatomon. Isn't she cute? Much more cuddly than her Ultimate form of Angewomon.
Kari: But I guess she's back to being a Rookie because she used up all of her energy during the fight. What are we going to do? They don't allow pets at our apartment!
Joe: Drag!
Uh. Nobody tell Kari but I'm pretty sure her apartment is a parking lot right now. She's going to be living in a refugee shelter for a few months. They'll probably put people up at Big Sight, now that I think about it. The damage Vamdemon did to Odaiba is catastrophic.
(Also, she has a cat. This bit doesn't work. They clearly do allow pets at her apartment.)
With Vamdemon's spells broken the fog barrier breaks down. At last, we can see the sky again.
Sora: Hey, look! The sky is clearing up!
The final sign of our true victo--what the FUCK is that!?
Sora: (gasp)
Mimi: DYAAAAAAH!?!?
Takeru: It's not true!
Jou: I-It can't be....
At some point during all that nonsense within the fog barrier, the merging of worlds has begun. Strips of reality hang in the sky, on the other side of which lies the Digital World.
Hikari: Onii-chan, I'm scared!
Taichi: What is this...?
This is easier to grasp, right off the bat, what's happening in the original. The dub cut the one line where Myotismon mentions that he's "destined" to merge the two worlds and reign over the conjoined reality as its king. He's dead now, but he apparently made some headway into fulfilling his task while we were all trapped in the fog.
But since the dub didn't mention that, this comes more out of left field there.
Sora: Hey, look! The sky's clearing up!
(Jubilation slowly turns to horror)
Sora: ...what...?
Mimi: AAAAAUGH!!!
T.K.: HEY!!! NO WAY!!!
Joe: That's... not possible....
Matt: Huh!?
Joe: There's a... giant island... floating in the sky! Upside-down!
Kari: (gasps)
Tai: Things... Just keep getting weirder!
Their dialogue isn't really any different than in the original; We just don't have the previous context to make sense of what they're seeing.
Commercial break, then we return to the strange new phenomenon taking place all across the world.
Narrator: The upside-down continent appearing in the sky could be seen all across the world.
We cut to various places across the planet including New York and Antarctica before returning to Big Sight. Yagami Yuuko and Susumu exit the convention center, laying eyes on the strange phenomenon.
Susumu: Is this... a mirage?
Shin: (on his moped) No, I think that's real.
Yuuko: Um, do you know where our children are? Where are Taichi and Hikari?
Shin: They're at Fuji TV station. I'm on my way to check out the situation. I'll meet back up with you afterward!
Shin takes off on his moped before they can ask any further questions.
We then briefly see a ferry finally able to cross the bay into Odaiba. Takaishi Natsuko, Takeru's mom, is on her way. Everybody there is staring up in shock at the ribbons streaked across reality in the sky as well.
Narrator: The mysterious continents floated eerily in the night sky. Strangely enough, none of the radars, satellites, or other electronic equipment on Earth recognized their existence.
Ironically, if you were to ask Google AI, it'd probably have a better grasp of what's hanging in the sky up there than real-world tracking equipment would. There's no way the Digital World hasn't snuck into its training data.
The dub replaces the cold narration with Tai whining.
Tai: Man, why does this have to happen now when we were just feeling good about beating Myotismon!? It's like the world is turning upside-down or something!
This line plays out over the shots of various geographic locations with the reality ribbons above them, which doesn't really connect to Tai's line but isn't entirely unrelated to it either.
Susumu: Hey, what's going on!?
Jim: (on his moped) Whatever it is, it doesn't look too good for our side.
Yuuko: Oh, Jim! Have you seen my children? Do you know where Tai and Kari are?
Jim: No, but I have an educated guess. I'm gonna search where the monsters were fighting. I'll come back when I find them, okay?
Fucking everybody knows Joe's older brother. He's the most popular guy in town, I guess. XD
An interesting change here is that Jim doesn't say they're at the TV station. Which is a good change, I think, 'cause he shouldn't know that. They weren't going to Fuji; They were going to fight VenomVamdemon, who was so big he could be seen from Big Sight. They'll be wherever VenomVamdemon died, which could be anywhere in Odaiba.
That spot is the Fuji broadcasting center, but that's a mile away and all the landmarks have been destroyed. So it's a bit of a leap for Shin to assume that they ended up at Fuji specifically. Jim here is planning to drive in the direction of where the giant monster was and just keep his eyes peeled for children.
The narrator is done away with for the ferry shot as well, with a voice-over from Izzy replacing him.
Izzy (V.O.): This isn't making any sense! It looks like an entire upside-down continent in the sky, but it doesn't show up on radar or on any satellite pictures! In fact, no instruments of any kind can confirm that... Whatever it is, is really even there!
I could be snippy about Izzy somehow possessing all this information but actually the dub did assert in an early episode that he likes to hack into government systems for shits and giggles. So we can assume he's just breaking all kinds of laws right now to bring us this revelation.
As the ferry pulls into Odaiba, it discharges a truly terrified mother. Courtesy of the Fuji building being right on the coast, she's able to quickly reunite with her son.
Both of them.
Natsuko: TAKERU!!! TAKERU!!!
Takeru: (turns around, surprised) IT'S MAMA!!!
Natsuko: TAKERU!!!
Natsuko sprints out into the ruins to hug her son. She hasn't noticed them yet, but Yamato and Hiroaki watch her arrive. Yamato stares in silence at his mother, while Hiroaki lights up a cigarette.
Natsuko: Thank goodness you're safe! I was so worried about you! Were you scared, Takeru?
Takeru: No, Onii-chan was with me!
It's at that moment that Natsuko looks up and sees Yamato. She stands.
Natsuko: (surprised) Yamato....
Yamato: (vulnerable) ...Mom....
This is incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. It's pretty clear at this point that HIroaki and Natsuko don't see very much of the sons the other took. They've basically made a clean break in their divorce, with the brothers sneaking around in secret to remain in contact with each other. This is where a lot of their trauma and separation anxiety throughout the series has come from.
But Takeru's having none of this tense, uncomfortable moment. He grabs Natsuko by the wrist and drags her over to face Yamato.
Natsuko: (smiling warmly) Yamato... You've grown taller again.
Yamato: Yeah, a little.
Natsuko: You look good. I'm glad.
Hiroaki: Natsuko....
(Natsuko looks up from Yamato, finally noticing Hiroaki)
Hiroaki: It's been a while.
Natsuko: (awkward) ...yeah....
Takeru: (cheerful) Ahaha! It's been a long time since the whole family got together, hasn't it, Onii-chan?
Yamato: Yeah, I guess it has....
@_@ All of the family drama in this arc is hitting me way harder than the scary Dracula monster. It's amazing how age changes context.
In the dub:
Nancy: T.K.!!! T.K.!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?!?
T.K.: (turns around, surprised) MAMA!!!
Nancy: Oh! Ohhh, T.K.! I was so afraid I'd never see you again!
(Nancy runs over and hugs T.K.)
Nancy: You must have been terrified, T.K.
T.K.: Nuh-uh! Matt was with me the whole time!
(Nancy stands up)
Nancy: (surprised) Matt....
Matt: (vulnerable) ...Hey, Mom....
T.K.: C'mon!
(T.K. grabs Nancy by the wrist and drags her over to Matt)
T.K.: Come see Matt! And Daddy too!
Nancy: Oh, Matt. I'm so proud of you! Thank you, son!
Matt: (surly) Yeah, whatever.
Nancy: Don't be like that. Please, Matt.
Hiroaki: Nancy.
(Nancy looks up from Matt, finally noticing Hiroaki)
Hiroaki: It's... been a long time, hasn't it?
Nancy: (awkward) Yes, it has.
T.K.: (cheerful) Ahaha! It's been a really long time since all of us were together, huh, Matt?
Matt: (surly) Yeah, I guess so.
I don't think the dub liked the implication that Natsuko hasn't seen Yamato in months or even years. Enough for him to physically change to a noteworthy degree.
In their version, Nancy tries to congratulate him for... I guess, for taking good care of T.K.? It's not like she knows anything else that happened after T.K. disappeared on a giant wooly monster. There's a lot of accolades he deserves but that's the only one I think she'd be able to deliver.
In any case, she gives him a thumbs up and he decides to be surly about it. The awkward discomfort of this whole situation is replaced by Matt emotionally stonewalling his mom. Which is still awkward and uncomfortable, just differently so.
While Yamato and Takeru's family are having this moment, the Americans make bad choices.
Narrator: Could the strange continents be an optical illusion? An American reconnaissance plane headed off at once to find out.
The plane crosses through the boundary between worlds, then freezes up as it crosses over and falls out of the sky.
Pilot: NOOOOOOO!!!
I'm sorry but the pilot's over-the-top scream of "No" killed me. XD About as hard as this tailspin is about to kill him!
We should probably do something about this before the Americans' next plan is to shoot missiles at it. We're about thirty minutes away from fearfully carpet-bombing the Digital World. Bombs that will probably come right back to us if what happened to that plane is anything to go by.
In the dub, Izzy pitches in for the narrator again.
Izzy: Check this out, guys. I've been monitoring the news reports. The Air Force is sending in everything they've got to figure out what this continent in the sky really is. They don't know anything so far! But they're assuming it's dangerous.
(Plane crosses the boundary and freezes)
Pilot: This is Hawkeye One MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY!!!
Americans have a better grasp on American military lingo. Can't imagine why. Though I admit, I'm sad to see the hilarious "NOOOOOO" go.
No mention of the plane being American. Also, apparently this one plane was everything the Air Force has. Yeah, they haven't been getting the funding they need since the election of Japanese Bill Clinton. Some costs needed to get cut.
R.I.P. to the one remaining aircraft we had left.
Mimi: I hope my Mama and Papa are okay....
Sora: I'm sure they are.
Suddenly, the kids hear the sound of a honking horn. It's Shin's moped closing in on them.
Palmon: Someone's coming!
Jou: Ah! That's...!
(Shin pulls up)
Jou: SHIN-NIISAN!!!
Mimi: ONII-SAN!!!
Shin: All of your families back at Big Sight are safe! Everyone's recovered!
Hikari: YAY!!!
Mimi: (grabs Sora's hands) Isn't that great, Sora-san?
(Sora withdraws one of her hands to wipe a tear from her eye)
Sora: Yeah!
Mimi calls Shin "Onii-san" because it's fairly common in Japan to use familial terms as a polite way for young people to address older people. You might call an older man "father" or "grandfather", for example, even if he's not related to you. Addressing people in Japanese is very complicated.
The dub lets Mimi start talking sooner so she can have a longer line.
Mimi: I have to admit that I'm a little jealous that Matt and T.K. found their parents, and Izzy too! I just hope my Mom and Dad are alright!
Sora: I know how you feel. Me too. ...huh?
(headlights approach)
Sora: Someone's coming!
Joe: Alright! My brother! ...hey, I didn't tell him he could ride my scooter!
(Jim pulls up)
Mimi: JIM!!!
Joe: JIM!!!
Mimi: Have you seen my Mom and Dad!?
Jim: All the other families that were at the convention center are fine! They're all back to normal!
Kari: AWESOME!!!
Koromon: YAY!!!
Mimi: (grabs Sora's hands) Sora, they're safe!
(Sora withdraws one of her hands to wipe a tear from her eye)
Sora: Great!
I love the way this scene plays Mimi. The longer line stays on-point and works super well, and I also like her frantic interrogation of Jim when he pulls up. This was a good one.
For a quick gag, the dub also claims that the moped belongs to Joe, actually. Which. Raises. A tremendous amount of questions given that he's fucking 12.
Shin takes out a small pocket TV, turning on the news.
Reporter: Those continents in the sky are not an illusion! They really exist! No one knows what the cause of this might be, but many are fearful that these strange continents will forever replace the blue sky of our world!
Jou: W-What is happening!?
Yamato: Is this part of Vamdemon's plan too!?
Tsunomon: That's impossible! We killed Vamdemon for good this time!
Koromon: Yeah, no doubt about that!
Koushiro disassociates from the conversation, his attention locked on something in the sky. The others talk around him while the camera fixes on his curious expression.
Taichi: Then what are they?
Takeru: What's going to happen to us?
Jou: Whatever the case, we need to figure out what's causing it first.
Brief cut to the target of Koushiro's attention. One particular mountain sticks out among all the others in the sky landmass. There's something about that mountain. Something he recognizes.
Koushiro: (thinking) That mountain... It looks exactly like Infinity Mountain! But that's impossible....
It does seem pretty impossible on account of that mountain being part of a continuous landmass. There's no ocean in sight. And yet.
In the dub:
Jim: Let's check the news.
(Jim opens his pocket TV)
Reporter: The latest report we have from the Air Force Chief of Staff confirms that the mysterious landmass in the sky is not an illusion of any kind. It is very real and, after several confrontations, apparently very dangerous.
Joe: It's covering the whole sky!
Matt: It has to be Myotismon's work again.
Tsunomon: But that's impossible, isn't it? We defeated Myotismon for good this time!
Koromon: Yeah, we kicked booty!
(Closeup on Izzy disassociating)
Joe: Well, you heard the news report. It's definitely dangerous. Who else could be doing it?
Tai: What does it matter who's doing it!? We just have to stop it!
Izzy: (thinking) There's something familiar about that mountain... It looks like Infinity Mountain!
"After several confrontations" WTF? XD We sent more planes. We just. We kept feeding planes into it one after another. Hahaha.
"It's apparently very dangerous" WELL MAYBE IT WOULDN'T BE IF WE DIDN'T KEEP CRASHING PLANES INTO IT. XD Japanamericans!
Jou and Taichi have their lines rearranged so that Tai can be the one trying to take charge instead of Joe. Their leadership styles are wildly different.
Having found a point of interest, Koushiro decides to confirm his suspicions.
Koushiro: Taichi-san! (points) Can you use your mini telescope to take a closer look at that?
Taichi: (takes out his telescope) Where?
Koushiro: Look, that mountain over there.
Taichi: Which one? There are too many mountains. I can't tell which one you're pointing at.
Koushiro: That one! Look!
Taichi: Saying 'that one' isn't much help. Where is it--AH!!!
Koushiro: What is it?
Taichi: A plane. There's an airplane up there!
Koushiro looks up and can just barely make out the blinking of three lights, signifying a plane passing overhead.
In the dub:
Izzy: Hey, Tai! (points) Grab your telescope and get us a closer look at that peak right there!
Tai: Huh? (takes out his telescope) Which one?
Izzy: There! The big one I'm pointing to.
Tai: Oh, like that helps me. Alright, I'm looking. Man, there are dozens of mountains up there! Which one?
Izzy: The big one!
Tai: The big o--WHAAA!!!
Izzy: Did you find it?
Tai: What I found is a jetliner!
Izzy: Wha!?
Pretty faithful, little difference of note.
Up in the air, the pilot tries desperately to reach someone over the radio, but there's no response.
Pilot: Control Tower, please respond, over. Control Tower! Shit, what's going on....
Copilot: Sir, we're going to have to make an emergency landing. There's no fuel left in the tank.
Pilot: I know that! If we only had someone to guide us down the runway....
Copilot: Our prospects aren't looking good! An American military base could--AHHHH!!!
Instruments on the plane begin to flash.
Pilot: What's happening!?
Copilot: The fuel gauge is at empty! We can't control the plane anymore! We're going to crash!
Pilot: That's impossible!
The plane tilts out of the sky, beginning its long descent.
Taichi: Ah! The plane's falling! It's going to crash!
Sora: Piyomon!
(Cut back to the cockpit)
Pilot: We have to... make it somewhere....
Copilot: AHHHHHHH!!!
In the dub:
Pilot: Ground Control, this is Flight 224. We have lost our vector. Over. ...Strange. Why don't they answer? (tries again) This is 224 to Ground Control. Control, do you copy? Repeat, we have lost our landing vector. Come in, Ground control.
Copilot: We can't land here now and we can't turn back with the fuel we have left onboard.
(Lights start flashing suddenly)
Copilot: What!?
Pilot: The alarm! All systems failure! We've got about two seconds to figure out what's wrong here!
Copilot: No use! Nothing's responding! We're going down!
(Cut to the kids below)
Tai: Oh no! The airplane reached the edge of that thing in the sky and just headed straight down!
Sora: Biyomon!
(Back to the cockpit)
Pilot: Got to... pull out... We'll break up at this speed!
Copilot: AHHHHHHH!!!
In the original, the plane ran out of fuel. They've been flying well below the reality ribbons so they didn't run afoul of what happened to the recon plane. But they haven't been able to land because telecommunications down in Tokyo have been going haywire since this all began, something we've been shown repeatedly.
The dub makes this about the reality ribbons. They briefly mention that they're low on fuel, but what kills the plane is that they accidentally flew into the boundary between worlds despite it being shown to be well above them, and despite the plane not freezing up like the recon plane did.
Birdramon rises into the air to try and catch the plane, but she spots something. A stray Kuwagamon is in their airspace. It buzzes past the plane, freezing one of the plane's wings as it passes, just like what passing through the boundary does. The plain goes into a spin.
Birdramon flies up underneath the plain to stabilize it, but can't deal with its weight. They're still going down.
Jou: BIRDRAMON!!!
Birdramon: Hrrrrrrrgh!
Sora: GANBATTE, BIRDRAMON!!!
Ahhh, ganbaru. Overcoming tremendous hardship through hard work and perseverance.
Sora's Crest shines, Super-Evolving Birdramon into Garudamon to give her the strength she needs.
The dub gives Birdramon some silence-breakers here, since this scene doesn't have a lot of dialogue but Birdramon doesn't need lip flaps either.
Birdramon: If I can just get there in time!
(Kuwagamon flies in)
Birdramon: It's Kuwagamon! Where did he come from!?
(Kuwagamon buzzes the plane, freezing the wing. Birdramon moves in to catch the plane)
Birdramon: (screeching)
Joe: DO IT, BIRDRAMON!!!
Birdramon: (more screeching)
Sora: BIRDRAMON, DIGIVOLVE!!!
The original treats the mystery of Kuwagamon's appearance as self-evidently mysterious while Dub Birdramon calls it out and demands to know WTF. Nothing wrong with either approach in my opinion.
Seeing Garudamon struggling, Kabuterimon flies up to lend a hand.
Kabuterimon: I'll help y--WAUGH!!!
Kabuterimon has to swerve, narrowly missing the Kuwagamon he didn't realize was up here too. Without missing a beat, he fires up his Mega Blaster.
Kabuterimon: TAKE THIS!!!
His shot passes straight through Kuwagamon as if it wasn't there.
Kabuterimon: What the hell!?
Garudamon: Pull back, Kabuterimon! DON'T TOUCH IT!!!
Kabuterimon jerks aside as Kuwagamon comes back around for another pass. Heeding Garudamon's warning, he lets this strange phantom Kuwagamon fly off. The creature heads across the bay into Tokyo proper. I'm sure that's fine.
From there, they guide the plane down into the bay, setting it down in the water so the people inside can escape in life rafts. I think they set the plane down just outside Shibaura, across what used to be the Rainbow Bridge from Odaiba. It looks like the Shibaura harbor to me.
This act of heroism leaves them so exhausted that they stop being animated, and the people below watch them levitate off into the distance as still frames.
Though AtlurKabuterimon's still-frame reveals he had to Super-Evolve for this too between scenes.
In the dub:
Kabuterimon: I'll help too!
(Kuwagamon flies by)
Kabuterimon: Huh!? Kuwagamon!? ELECTRO SHOCKER!!!
(The shot passes through Kuwagamon)
Kabuterimon: HUH!?!? IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH!!!
Garudamon: Kabuterimon, get away! Don't touch him!
(They let Kuwagamon go and set the plane down.)
Tai: Nice going, Birdramon. You brought the plane down safely.
Tai's silence-breaker at the end there doesn't seem to make much sense at all. Somehow he's talking to Garudamon from Odaiba while addressing the wrong evolutionary form and completely snubbing AtlurKabuterimon's contribution. Why do you have to use your psychic powers for evil, Tai?
Once Garudamon and AtlurKabuterimon degenerate into Pyokomon and Mochimon respectively, the kids debrief them on what happened.
Taichi: Hey, was that Kuwagamon?
Pyokomon: He flew here from those continents!
Koushiro: I knew it.
Group: Huh/Eh!?
Taichi: What do you mean?
Koushiro: That place up there is the Digimon World.
Jou: EHHH!?!?
Taichi: What did you say!?
Yamato: That's the Digimon World!?
Mimi: Now that you mention it, it does look kind of familiar....
Shin: Hey! Take a look at this!
In today's linguistic adventure, the other world is "Digimon World" in English.
The kids don't get a chance to process what Koushiro said, because Shin pulls their attention to his little TV.
Reporter: Please watch this. These images are not special effects!
The report shows various places around the globe under attack by Digimon. Gorillamon, Airdramon, Tyranomon, and Kuwagamon are all seen attacking various cities and places around the globe. Everywhere they go, things around them freeze over like the planes.
Pyokomon: We can't touch those Digimon! If we do, we'll freeze up like that plane wing!
Mochimon: My Mega Blaster went right through them, too.
Taichi: Damn it, what the hell is going on!?
Hikari: Is that where you live, Plotmon?
Plotmon: No. That is no longer the Digimon World that I knew.
Koushiro: Oh, that's right. It's been several days since we came here, which means several years would have passed in the Digimon World.
Koromon: We came here without fixing the distortions in the Digimon World, so it must be in pretty bad shape now.
Sora: Which would then started to affect our world too.
Realizing the grim truth of what they're seeing now, the kids stare up in horror at these reality strips crossing the sky.
In the dub:
Tai: You guys, how'd Kuwagamon get here?
Yokomon: He came out of that land in the sky!
Izzy: I was right all along!
Group: Huh!?
Izzy: That giant continent... is actually the Digital World!
Joe: WHAAAAT!?!?
Matt: That's why you recognized that mountain!
Mimi: Yeah! You know, it does look sort of familiar.
Sora: What's it doing here?
Jim: Guys, you'd better have a look at this!
Reporter: We bring you now new footage of some truly bizarre scenes.
(Digimon attacks around the world)
Reporter: No official explanation has yet been given for what you are seeing here.
Yokomon: Kuwagamon again! And if we touch these Digimon, we'll freeze, just like the airplane's wing!
Motimon: And when I fired my Electro Shocker, it passed right through.
Tai: Man! What's going on here!
Kari: Salamon, is that your world up there?
Salamon: I think so, but the last time I was there, it was definitely right-side up.
Izzy: Just a minute. We've been back in the real world for only a few days, but up there, time is much faster. Years and years have passed by.
Koromon: And since we left the Digi-World when it was such a mess, it had years and years to just get worse! I can only imagine what the place looks like now!
Sora: And all the problems in the Digital World have become our problem here in the real world!
The dub usually struggles with expository scenes but here, they actually do a pretty good job of it. They're held back by the fact that they've always talked around the kids needing to "correct distortions", so they have to compensate by saying they "left the Digi-World when it was such a mess".
It's a little awkward but it still gets the point across: The Chosen Children were called to fix the Digital World before the growing instability became apocalyptic for both worlds. But because Vamdemon's side-quest back to the human world made them fuck off for years, time has run out and the worst-case scenario has begun.
Taichi: Let's go! Back to the Digimon World.
Mimi: But how?
Jou: When we first went to the Digimon World, our Digivices led us there. That should work again!
Koushiro: It's worth a try.
Taichi: Yes! Gather your Digivices, everyone.
The team puts their Digivices together in a ring.
Taichi: Please! Take us back to the Digimon World!
Hardened and made ready by their experiences, this time the eight Chosen Children make the choice for themselves to re-enter the Digital World. They're ready to complete the work they were once drafted against their will to do.
In the dub:
Tai: That's that! We've all got to go back!
Mimi: But how? How are we supposed to get there?
Joe: The first time we went to the Digital World, our Digivices led us. You guys try it again.
Izzy: You're coming too, Joe. We're all in this together.
Tai: Alright, everybody! Hold out your Digivices! We're going back!
(The team puts their Digivices together)
Tai: Next stop: The Digital World! Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times!
In a break from tradition, Tai calls it the Digital World in the dub, rather than the usual phrasing of Digi-World.
Joe's dub-induced cowardice makes me want to throw things. Trying to chicken out and let the others go without him is one of those gags that isn't just annoying but goes all the way to the "He would not fucking say that" extreme.
Kido Jou-senpai would not fucking say that.
The eight Digivices glow brightly, sending a rainbow of light up into the sky and creating the way forward.
Jou: This path of light will transport us to the Digimon World!
Taichi: Yeah. I'm sure we'll make it safely.
Sora: Our Digivices will guide us.
The dub picks the moment before the Digivices start to glow as a good time for a commercial break. That's fair. Upon return, Tai brings us back up to speed with a quick line.
Tai: Here we go, everybody!
(The Digivices create a different kind of Rainbow Bridge)
Izzy: i think it's working, Tai. This light must be here to guide us.
Joe: Now all we have to do is follow it.
T.K.: Back to the Digital World! Hahaha!
They change who's talking and it's a lot drier but nothing objectionable.
Unfortunately, before they can go, some people have concerns with what the kids are doing right now.
Natsuko: TAKERU!!!
Takeru: I'm sorry we have to leave just when all of us were together again, Mama. But we'll be back soo--
Natsuko: You can't!
Hiroaki: Let him go. We made a few selfish decisions of our own too, remember?
Flashback to the separation of the boys in the divorce. Natsuko's eyes fill with tears.
Yamato: If we don't do something, the Earth will be doomed. That's Why I... We're going to protect you and everyone else, Mom!
Natsuko: (quietly, crying) ...Yamato....
Hiroaki's logic here doesn't really track. We selfishly broke the kids up therefore we should let them go to an alien world and fight monsters. I don't think fairness is really the concern here. But to be fair to Hiroaki, he's spent more time with the Chosen Children than anyone and knows firsthand how fucky all this shit is and how unique they are.
He isn't happy about sending the children into danger but he kinda gets it. Natsuko, meanwhile, was trapped outside the fog barrier this whole time and has seen none of it. So her Reasonable Parent Opinions are very Reasonable Parent Opinions, and it's heartbreaking that she has to let this happen to her babies anyway.
In the dub:
Nancy: T.K.
T.K.: Huh? Mom! Oh, I'm sorry we have to leave now that we're finally back together again.
Nancy: You can't!
Hiroaki: Let him go. We've made some selfish decisions of our own, remember?
(Flashback)
Hiroaki: We have to let them do this. This could be more important than we realize.
Matt: The whole world is doomed if we don't do something, Mom! You know we have to go back! We're doing this to protect you!
Nancy: (quietly, crying) ...Matt....
Mostly the same, but Hiroaki's given a silence-breaker to let him make a more salient argument than "We have to let the boys be child soldiers because we divorced."
Though Nancy's first line is pretty funny. Natsuko calls out to Takeru in a panic. Nancy just... sternly says his voice, like she caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. Not exactly the right tone here, but not necessarily wrong either. XD
But moooooom, you don't understaaaaaand!
Shin chimes in to support the children's decision.
Shin: We're counting on you. We've always taken for granted that morning comes after nightfall, but now we can't be sure we'll ever see the sun again.
Poetic, but Koushiro's mom takes issue with that, looking affronted about halfway through when she realizes where he's going with that.
Kae: DON'T BE SO MORBID!!! I believe in these children.
Shin: No no, I do too!
Jou: It will be fine, Nii-san. (sudden burst of confidence) We'll make certain that the sun does come up again!
A powerful moment for Jou! That the girls promptly bully him for.
Sora: Ooooh, Jou-senpai is so cool!
Mimi: It's so unlike you!
The kids all laugh at Jou's expense while he hangs his head in defeat - Accidentally backing into the portal in the process and getting picked up by the ass.
Mimi: Wha--!?
Sora: Jou-senpai!
Jou: AAAAAUGH!!!
Well, the nakama must be back together because we're back to tormenting our poor, put-upon senpai. XD
The kids quickly join Jou in the rainbow portal, rising towards the Digimon World together.
Taichi: Ittekimasu!
Natsuko: Takeru! Yamato!
Right now's a good time to talk about that word Taichi just said. Ittekimasu is a customary Japanese phrase for when you are leaving a place with intent to return. It's a kind of ritualistic phrase, said almost automatically when leaving the home, for example. Like saying Itadakimasu before eating. I am stepping out for a bit but I will be back later and will see you then.
There's a lot of ways it can be translated. I'm heading out! See you later. Back in a bit! Etc. etc. But I've opted to leave it untranslated here and instead explain the intent because this is a highly emotional moment, and the mundane yet heartwarming domesticity of the phrase's usage in this scene doesn't really come through with its more cavalier-sounding translations.
Takeru and Yamato wave farewell to their mother, but Yamato feels self-conscious after a moment and stops waving.
In the dub:
Jim: You guys better get crankin'! Although it's hard to believe the fate of the world's in the hands of a bunch of kids like you. I guess if the sun doesn't come up tomorrow, we'll know you messed up!
Kae: Stop it! You've got to have faith in your brother and his friends! What they're doing is incredibly brave!
Jim: Whoa! Sorry, Lady. I didn't mean anything.
Joe: It's okay. He was only kidding. And besides... (sudden burst of confidence) I'm gonna make darn sure the sun does come up!
Sora: Joe! I didn't know you had it in you!
Mimi: Ahahaha, what a man!
(All the kids laugh at Joe; he hangs his head and backs into the portal)
Sora & Mimi: What's happening?
Joe: AAAAUGH!!!
(Everyone jumps in the portal)
Tai: Alright, here we go!
Nancy: Matt! T.K.! Take care of each other!
Sora and Mimi are still making fun of Joe in this version, they're just subtler about it.
Finally met someone in this city that Jim doesn't know.
While Yamato and Takeru get to say goodbye to their loved ones, we pan over to Sora who looks disappointed that they have to leave so quickly. Suddenly:
Toshiko: SORA!!!
The adults from Big Sight have all arrived, at the last possible second, to the sight of their children rising into the sky in a column of rainbow light.
Sora: Mom... MOM!!!
Mimi: PAPA!!! MAMA!!!
Taichi: DAD!!!
Hikari: MOM!!!
Yuuko: TAICHI!!! HIKARI!!!
The column rises, taking the children further from their parents.
Hikari: DON'T WORRY ABOUT US!!! WE'LL COME BACK SOON!!!
Cutting silently to their frightened parents, watching the children go. First Yagami Yuuko and Susumu. Then Tachikawa Satoe and Keisuke. And then finally Takenouchi Toshiko.
Children: (all together) ITTEKIMASU!!!
Vanishing into the other world, the Chosen Children leave behind only that one familiar word. I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back soon. I'll see you when I come home.
The dub uses all the silent panning shots of this scene to fill in dialogue.
Toshiko: SORA!!! I love you, Sora! Please come home soon! I'll be waiting here for you!
Sora: Bye, Mama.... BYE, MAMA!!!
Mimi: MAMA!!! PAPA!!!
Tai: BYE, DAD!!!
Kari: BYE, MAMA!!!
Yuuko: OH, TAI!!! BE CAREFUL!!!
Susumu: AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR SISTER, SON!!!
Kari: I'LL BE ALRIGHT!!! DON'T WORRY, WE'LL ALL BE BACK!!!
Tai (V.O.): I never thought we'd volunteer to leave our families behind. It's weird. I'm not sure if we'll ever see them again. But I'm not afraid! It's like, just knowing that they love us gives us the power that we need.
Kids: (Miscellaneous farewells, such as "Bye Bye" and "We'll be alright")
Narrator: What powerful new enemy waits for the DigiDestined in the Digital World? Find out on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.
Neither of the Kamiya parents says goodbye to Kari and I'm kinda mad about it.
Tai's voiceover there is to try and hit the same emotional chords that the team's collective Ittekimasu hit for the original. The word doesn't translate well in this particular context so they had to come up with their own emotional heartstring-tug.
The sudden ominous narrator, however, is a total mood-killer. Jerk.
Assessment: On the one hand, how quickly we go from defeating VenomVamdemon to returning to the Digital World feels a little rushed. But on the other hand, it's supposed to feel rushed. Because we're in a rush.
It sucks that we couldn't see the kids properly meet back up with their families and say real farewells to them. But it's supposed to suck. It sucks for them too. Every minute we spend out here is another, like, week where the situation in the Digital World is further destabilizing. There's no time for drawn-out goodbyes.
So we move into the final arc of Adventure 01. Shit's about to get real from here. @.@ I am not ready.
I think the dub on this one was hit-or-miss. It had some genuinely great moments, even parts where it added onto the original in good and interesting ways, and some other clunky bits. To their credit, they nailed the big Plot Exposition scene which is where they often struggle.
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sissasystem of three or four that are all bandmates and play different instruments/one sings?
oooh this is such a good idea!! :33 went with a punk rock group theme ~ putting them under the cut this time!! minor cw for transphobia mentions
collective name: beckham, billie, rowan, dallas, connecticut (connie for short), aida, reed
collective signoff: 🎶, 🎵, 🎼, ❤️🔥, dixgrace/disgrace (band name), “future pop stars”
name :: jax, juno, jace, jackie, jagger, london, billie, beckham
age :: 19 to 21
pronouns :: she/he (alternating), he/him, she/her, she/shim, it/its
roles :: sysadult, protector, appellisian, sexual protector, audeomate
species :: human, self-proclaimed “real life rockstar, babes!!”
gender identity :: AMAB, bigender, a proud crossdresser, and prefers not to label himself beyond that
orientation :: panromantic, multisexual
source :: brainmade, strongly connects with jem and the holograms
aesthetic :: new wave, glam rock, party animal
appearance description :: think of the most fabulous person you’ve ever seen. got them in your mind? good. now imagine them ten times hotter and more extreme in their fashion choice, and boom: you’ve got jackie! she will wear just about anything so long as he can style it. glittery cowboy boots? sure! a rainbow feather boa? why not! a wig that reaches the floor? you can bet your buttocks she would! billie is rather tall, standing at about six feet (and then some!!) which is only exaggerated by the fact that his favorite footwear is heels. hell, during pride, you might even see shim with neon everywhere and light-up heart glasses! jace takes dressing up as a challenge: she won’t settle for anything less than superb.
personality description :: juno is and always will be unapologetically shimself. she is loud and proud and ready to bring the house down for all the queer people who don’t feel safe enough to be out yet. she speaks loudly, exaggerates shir hand motions, has a deep laugh and always seems to be ‘in’ on the gossip. wanna know a secret about xyz? now you can, thanks to beckham’s superb social skills! jagger loves being the center of attention and having all eyes on shir. what kind of rockstar fades into the shadows? a bad one, that’s who! london will make people pay attention and be her friend whether they know it yet or not.
likes :: partying, “girly” drinks, performing songs, pyrotechnics, dramatics, drag (both himself and others), playing with her band, making a scene and being loud, people who have passion and a drive for change, protests, rallies, mosh pits, big crowds, high heels, singing & being center stage, fooling around with people
dislikes :: negative nellies, cops, the government, enforcing social norms on children, transphobes, transphobia movement, republicans (she can’t agree with the direction it’s going in), people who don’t match her vibe, homophobes, racists (& any other -ist, really)
front triggers :: social injustice, homophobia, anything glam rock, drag shows, roller derby
signoff:: 🎤, 🤘, or 🛼
art credit here!
name :: harlow, arlo, leo, merlo, harley, rowan, charlie (lee as a nickname)
age :: 17 to 20 (ageweird)
pronouns :: no pronouns, it/its, per/pers, hu/hum
roles :: buffer, disabler (speech), trauma holder, pseudo gatekeeper
species :: human
gender identity ::, nullgender / gendervoid
orientation :: aromantic, aegosexual
source :: brainmade
aesthetic :: punk, post-punk, alternative
appearance description :: nobody really knows why, but arlo tends to talk in the third person when referring to itself in front of others. it doesn’t like the concept of gender much. this is obvious by looking at how it dresses: skirts on top of pants, long jackets with floppy arms, tight fitting tops with loose bottoms, heels with fishnets under jorts. harlow spits in the face of gender norms one day at a time — and harley doesn’t even have to speak to do it. merlo prevents other people from seeing its eyes for a reason: it has coloboma, a condition that’s gotten it a lot of hate in the past.
personality description :: they don’t talk much, but oh boy, when they do? you best believe they’re spitting straight facts. lee is quiet, tending to stay out of the limelight. charlie remembers a time when it tried to be the center of attention… everything that came from it was horrible. weird managers, gross “challenges”, unwanted advances — it’s painful to think about, even more so if a memory gets triggered. harley is lucky to have their bandmates: juno goes out of shir way to keep harley safe and dress down any assholes who threaten their safety, while knox talks harley out of ones shell.
likes :: drumming its sticks on random objects, watching the world go by, listening to music, not having to say anything, being out of the spotlight, comfortable clothes, quiet rooms, talking to knox, hanging out with its bandmates, pita bread with hummus
dislikes :: talking with people it doesn’t know, being forced to front, being the center of attention, cajoling, excessive physical touch, stan behavior, hollywood (on principle), stalker behavior, being forced to do things that seem strange or uncomfortable, getting a haircut, other people seeing its eyes
front triggers :: the presence of others in their sisasystem, a good beat, alternative or punk music, stalkers, gross behavior directed at oneself
signoff :: 🥁, 🎧, or 🔇
art credit here!
name :: knox, kenji, kai, rowan, dallas, mav or vick (short for maverick)
age :: 19 to 21
pronouns :: he/him, hy/hym, hx/hxm
roles :: comforter, soother, battery, spoon generator, crafter
species :: plain ol’ human
gender identity :: maleflux
orientation :: heteroflexible, greyromantic
source :: brainmade
aesthetic :: darksynth, goth punk
appearance description :: rowan has darker skin in the headspace, with longer hair that is normally done in dreads. he doesn’t have to think too much about his dreads or maintain them, so it’s easier this way. dallas is almost always wearing hxs fishnet arm pieces with brackets jangling off of hxs wrists. hx opts for loose tanks and jeans, sometimes with a beanie, as they’re comfortable enough without making hxm overhead. in winter, mav is constantly in sweaters: most are plain, but hx has some truly horrendous ones for the holidays season.
personality description :: social anxiety? who’s she?? kenji doesn’t know her. hy’s so chill about everything that it’s hard to imagine hym ever being mad. its true: knox rarely, if ever, gets truly upset over something. that’s just the life of a headmate whose purpose is to relax and chill. if he does get upset, hy refuses to say anything or get upset over it, instead letting juno give the other party what for. hx is a soft fella with a large heart, open to listening to other people’s troubles and offer gentle solutions. he’s more of a passive force, and doesn’t actively take steps to make changes.
likes :: his guitar, strumming chords, coming up with new lyrics for songs, heavy bass, guitar songs in general, chilling with his pals, pepperoni pizza and soda, fried foods, and having a good ol’ jam session with the gang, sitting on the roof of his garage to watch the sun set
dislikes :: having responsibilities beyond the band, dead-end jobs (ie: anything that isn’t music), getting his flow interrupted, large dogs, having neighbors (they’re always complaining, sheesh), being told to turn it down, consistent disregard for his emotions and feelings, thinking about the future
front triggers :: playing or listening to the guitar, making art (usually music), sleepy afternoons, the smell of roasting coffee, chill environments
signoff :: 🎸, ☕️, or 🍫
art credit here!
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