#boston medical center

[jobkash]

Senior Accountant

POSITION SUMMARY:Under the direction of the Director of Revenue, Financial Operations, and Strategy, the senior accountant will be involved in multiple aspects of Department of Medicine’s financial operations. The individual will be responsible for the processing of day-to-day financial transactions, general ledger reconciliations, balance sheet reconciliations, payroll management, monthly…

[manleycollins]

Journal Entry #71 - University of Pennsylvania Relays 2022 with PVTC - My Trifecta, Triangulation, and Amazing Race Triple Elimination - Chicago, New York City, and Washington, District of Columbia - Go Back? Double Negative "Non, je ne suis pas !"

JOURNAL ENTRY #71 Name: Manley M Collins Social Security Number: 5 7 9 – * * – 6 5 4 1 Date of Birth: 06/21 Place of Birth: Washington, District of Columbia Country of Birth: United States of America Date: April 4, 2022

TOPIC: University of Pennsylvania Relays 2022 with PVTC - My Trifecta, Triangulation, and Amazing Race Triple Elimination - Chicago, New York City, and Washington, District of Columbia - Go Back? Double Negative "Non, je ne suis pas !"

This is the beginning of heavier activity work in spring, summer, and fall. The winter I normally hibernate and physically work on myself at the gym. The gym practically sees me everyday as a part of my routine. I rarely miss a day unless it is heavy day of appointments and personal errands.

Getting adjusted to a new United State is always work.

I gave CubeSmart my release notice and asked for other locations with smaller units. I moved into my new unit on the other side of town with less Mass-Cass type of scenery.

I expanded my Massachusetts Planet Fitness workouts and trips to Cambridge, Malden, Quincy, Chelsea, East Boston, Boston, Mattapan, Revere/Wonderland, Jamaica Plain, Burlington, Reading, Hingham, Braintree, Weymouth, Medford, Waltham, and Watertown. I did attend my New York locations - Harlem, Columbus Circle, Chelsea, Times Square. I did South Carolina locations - Summerville, North Charleston, and Charleston. I did Georgia locations - Atlanta, Chamblee-Tucker, Doraville, Brookhaven. See my photo albums for more photos.

Part of my schizophrenia wanted to search the human resources and federal laws regarding record keeping because my resume was long from actual positions, but who had a record of what puzzled me because Social Security and Internal Revenue Service had records. The maximum number of years for recordkeeping is six (6) years. I did send an email or request to find out, which employers had a record of me. Another reason: It is because I was shown plenty of mental health conditions that I physically did not know and never could claim the benefit, but physically I was fine and for real suffering 100% materialistic loss from 1994-2019. The selection of 'No disability' on my pre-hire and full background was correct, but life made me act like I was having issues without having control or knowing what I was going through at the workplace.

I researched getting Oracle and RedHat certifications because Microsoft became the prominent technology for my rise and downfall. I do not want to repeat that again. I went through my resume for all the skills I had to see what I missed or did not see.

I was planning USATF Meets. Potomac Valley Track Club, University of Pennsylvania, and USATF made it possible for me to run in the Penn Relays in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It was fun and enjoyable to see my teammates and friends in the city. See my photo albums for more photos. I did obtain a Free Library of Philadelphia Library Card, which the temporary card only lasts a year. I rented an AirBnb. It was super nice and very impressive for the price, but could not control the room temperature due to the cool weather. I hung out with a friend I met during the Democratic National Convention in 2016, and we went to Ravens Lounge, Graffiti Lounge, and Marsala Kitchen. I also attempted to do UberEats and DoorDash to see if the adaptable market was still associated with the Boston region. I registered my SEPTA key card.

Massachusetts State Police tried to additionally direct me to the Victim Advocate Program in Massachusetts District Court, East Boston, Massachusetts. I found out some new information between Harassment Probation Order for co-workers and unrelated people, but has to have three different incidents. I found out restraining protective order for relatives and people related to me. The Boston Police and Massachusetts State Police are supposed to submit charges if anything is found during the investigation. I already got confirmation that the investigation was closed, but I tried to submit new information. Massachusetts is deliberately using time to prevent any benefit or consequences for what grown adults do.

Illinois and Chicago played the same role on stating they are not responsible for what their residents or visitors do in their geographic location, in buildings, in offices, or public transportation.

Social Security Administration approved me for disability, but I got the initial payments. I had to configure how to do the money. They also did court ordered deductions, but they found two, when for the last ten (10) years I only saw one. Connecticut had the original deduction open done with my presence. Washington, DC did another deduction in 2020 after I left the city and had no presence. I never knew that could be done. Social Security Administration kept doing this until I spoke up about where the extra money was going. I inquired about the SSA Ticket to Work program, but learn I only have nine (9) months to make the most money I can make while receiving the government funding.

Therapy and Psychiatrist with Arbour Counseling Services topics were (Previous Journal topics - I just was repeating them to new people verbally)

'Don't Matter' internal family message after April 3, 2016

Apple Health predicts falling (walking steadiness notification) and Doctors asking did I fall - what reality is that?

Phone as a subscription

Did not profit from any inheritance, death, lawsuit, lottery, real estate, anything I had materialistically - no chance to sell or pawn, no government check, no career, no campaign contributions to support any effort, none of my ideas or company to make a true profit, no retirement, etc.

Spinning brain centerpieces said/felt "donk" like nothing was left.

Now that the accounts or areas of life that have a former address if I was supposed to get anything is lost in the mail or went to trash.

Judge decided to respond or remand before the summons of individual defendants in the Federal Express civil suit.

Warmth again

Revealing I was the extrovert telling, showing, doing everything to everybody. Information started manually in 1990s, came online in 1999, now 2016 put everything in one place where everyone can see it, now 2022 sent small emails out to what I do and now folks paid attention…people are funny.

Sent letters to Congress and State Congress

Introspection - schizophrenia happened when I talk about a future that never happened or planned plus the physical elements of anxiety plus being involved with family or ethnic group.

'Not about you' big voice - not giving a flying f*ck who it is about

Storage unit

1970, 1980, 1990, up to 2007 never had a therapist or psychiatrist because we or I talked to people.

Gender X generation

American Scientific Bell Curve

MCAD responses and making my response iron clad.

Transitioning from Arbour Counseling Session (Zoom Calls) to Boston Medical Center In-Person (through the Bridge Clinic - Psychiatry Department) (Previous Journal topics - I just was repeating them to new people verbally)

Birth

Racism

Civil Rights

Mother

Father(s)

What I want out of therapy? Gain knowledge on the present classification of situations Let go and head to Europe or what do they call it over there BEST team said I do CCCP at DMH Solomon Inpatient, but I thought of going in November, but New York happened and I do not ever want to go. I need a support group outpatient. What other element of the insurance I did not take advantage of? Meet the requirements of SSDI, RSDI, or SSI. Find resolve and closure, and let go. Address past realities to present day situations.

How I want therapy to proceed? Once every two weeks In-person is fine.

Girls Momma's boy

Other Topics from Spring and Summer 2022:

United Healthcare was doing something I never seen by healthcare companies, which was still keep a plan open after no additional premiums were paid.

I was able to get my Dell XPS hard drive, but life is trying to prevent me from recovering the files. The computer repair guy suggested how to connect the drive. He saw the files on the drive. I was impressed.

Pine Street Inn Longwood Security and Staff continues to physical assault after Warning Talks.

I planned my first Manicure and pedicure celebration at Dashing Diva Chelsea (Manhattan NYC). This goes along with New York post regarding Citibank - Harassment, etc. Please visit Journal Entry 61 - Words are Just Words. I am not repeating the information, but my photo albums show more information on how I celebrated half of my birthday week in New York City. I participated in USATF New York Outdoor Championships representing Potomac Valley at Icahn Stadium. The New York situation took away most of my smallest of employments and others I did not expect. However, a few survived which made me rethink life or the government and courts do whatever it takes to ensure I meet the requirement of 'disability' and spend the government money instead of working for it.

I found running technology to get strides distance.

Boston Copley Library someone provided the link of getting mp3s.

I sent in a renewal United States Census Bureau application and re-assessment to the New York regional office, who manages Boston metro area as well.

I researched the various types of European Visas.

My new bank let me design my own debit card. It was very impressive.

I visited some new gyms to prepare to shift my gym membership.

I worked for Grubhub for a quite a bit, but unfortunately I did not have a bicycle this time. Grubhub was about showing me some the same experiences that I left them for in Washington, DC. I had to make sure they heard how I cared about $25 order in Washington, DC that almost got me killed by a vehicle while riding a bicycle.

I updated my eBay account.

I attended University of Phoenix Inclusion Leadership Webinar.

I renewed my SAM profile with the United States Government/United States Department of Defense.

Pine Street Inn housing provided me with plenty of new housing applications to get on the waiting list for a new apartment.

I tried using SurfEasy VPN, which was provided as part of the service with my Lenovo laptop.

I registered for the RedHat Summit Webinar 2022.

I submitted an Apartments . com application for a Boston apartment. Apartments . com did show me that their application had two sides of it, such as Apartment Renters and Property Manager.

Boston Medical Center made available that PT1 medical rides were available. I did take advantage and use the rides to my appointments to Boston Medical Center.

I planned to attend the USATF Outdoor Championships in Lexington, Kentucky. I booked the trip with American Airlines and Delta Airlines, and the Marriott, but all had to canceled for the New York court date.

I participated in the All of Us Research program so started receiving information and newsletters about it.

I registered for the BayState Games.

After the tremendous of outpouring of information and therapy, life has provided me the confirmation that I have no reason to go back.

[ankellysaurus]

Speaking of christian scientists, when we were in high school one of my sisters dated a christian scientist. If you are unaware christian scientists believe that injury or illness are best treated with prayer rather than medicine. ANYWAY this boy she was dating and his brother were good athletes and on the school soccer team. So one day she invited the bf to come over and have dinner with our family and he said something like "Sorry I can't come I have to stay home we're praying over my brother's toe." After said brother broke his toe playing soccer. Like boy, go to the doctor. Anyway it was the funniest thing my 17 year old self ever heard.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Teddy Bear Day 

The teddy bear is one of the most popular toys for children, and holds a special place in many adults hearts, too. This lovable stuffed animal has a day all of its own, Teddy Bear Day. It gives a chance for people to get teddy out of the cupboard and make him the center of attention.

It’s an ideal time to get together with others for a teddy bear’s favorite activity, having a picnic, as immortalized in the classic song, ‘Teddy Bear’s Picnic.’ This was written in 1907, shortly after teddy bears were first manufactured in Europe and America. The American toy bears were named Teddy, in honor of President Theodore Roosevelt, who had refused to shoot a small captured bear on a hunting trip. Many teddy bears have become famous over the years, including Paddington Bear, Rupert Bear, Pudsey Bear and, of course, Winnie the Pooh.

Learn about Teddy Bear Day

In a world where everyone seems to be larger and louder than yourself, it is very comforting to have a small, quiet companion

Teddy Bear Day has been created so that we have a specific date whereby we can pay tribute to one of our favorite childhood toys. Most people reading this will have fond memories of playing with a teddy bear when we were younger. In fact, some of you reading this may even have your favorite childhood teddy bear today. It may be tattered and even missing an eye or some stuffing, but it will be the most precious teddy bear in the world to you!

On this date, we pay tribute to this amazing childhood toy, which has stood the test of time. It does not matter what new crazes or toys come onto the market, they will never surpass the global popularity that the teddy bear has attained. With every decade that passes by, we still see children clutching onto their teddy bears, and it is a beautiful sight to behold.

This is because our teddy bear is usually the first friend that we have. It is the first ‘person’ that we share all of our thoughts and experiences with. We even cuddle our teddy bear when we go to sleep at night because it provides us with comfort. It is only right that we take a day to reflect on just how amazing teddy bears are, right?

History of Teddy Bear Day

It’s too bad we’re not all teddy bears. More stuffing would only make us cuter and cuddlier.

To understand the history of Teddy Bear Day, we need to roll back the clock to something that happened more than 100 years ago. In 1902, Theodore Rossevelt was the President of the United States. During this year, he refused to shoot a bear cub while he was in Mississippi hunting. The incident spread around the country via the national news. There was even a cartoon of the event that was published in the Washington Post by Clifford Berryman on the 16th of November in 1902. It became a classic right away.

Morris Michtom, a store owner in New York, was inspired by the cartoon and he decided to create a new toy. He then sent a letter to the President, asking Mr. Roosevelt if it would be possible for the new toy to be called “Teddy Bear.” The rest, as they say, was history.

Since then, there have been a lot of famous teddy bear characters, and this toy has become loved by children all over the world. No matter their upbringing, culture, or any other differences, one thing that all children can agree with is that there is nothing quite like the comfort and friendship that a teddy bear provides.

We have since seen the famous teddy bears from Briton, like Paddington and Winnie-the-Pooh. You also have the famous Care Bears series. In the United States, Radar, a teddy Bear from Sesame Street that belonged to Big Bird, hit the screens. Of course, Garfield, a lasagna-loving cat was also a big hit in the United States, and consequently around the world. Plus, we can’t forget Fozzie Bear from the Muppets either!

Our love affair with teddy bears has not ended. You only need to look at the new releases on TV and at the cinema to see that new teddy bear characters are being invented all of the time. In recent years, we have seen the Ted films become exceptionally popular. While aimed at adults rather than children, these films are still based on the premise of teddy bears being a best friend. Ted may be funny, but he is lovable, as all teddy bears are. If you have never seen the film, which stars Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg, we would definitely recommend watching it on Teddy Bear Day if you want to have a good old laugh!

How to celebrate Teddy Bear Day

There are a lot of different ways that you can celebrate Teddy Bear Day. One option is to dig up your favorite childhood teddy bear and take some photos of it. Share the images on social media and encourage your friends, family members, and followers to share images of their favorite teddy bear from when they were a child. Even if people do not have any photos of their bear, they will enjoy sharing stories of how they used to take their teddy bear everywhere with them.

Another fun way to spend this day is to go out and buy yourself a new teddy bear. Even as an adult, there is something cute and comforting about having a teddy bear in your home. As time has gone on, there have been a number of different companies that have popped up that enable you to purchase your own teddy bear.

You are able to choose the different fur and other unique characteristics that really make your teddy bear your own. If you have children, this is definitely a fun way to spend the day, but it is also fun and exciting even if you do not have any kids. After all, who does not love the idea of building their own teddy bear? If you are a particularly crafty person, you could even make your own teddy bear from scratch.

There are lots of different instructions online that enable you to do this, and it will be a fun way to spend the day. Plus, there is something amazing about having a teddy bear that you have made from scratch. It makes it feel even more like a real friend and companion. It is your own, and no one else in the world is going to have the same teddy bear as you. That is pretty amazing! Make sure that you share photos of your creation across social media if you’re the sort of person that uses Instagram and such like. We bet all of your followers will be super impressed!

Source

[prattlinpeach]

A Bike and Biker Blessing

Say that 10 times fast! Today was a great experience, I told you last night I would tell you all about it today and here it is! A biker and biker blessing is a truly moving event, we participated in our first one in Hawai’i. It was held at a church, it felt like every bike on the island was there! We met, there was a blessing, in Hawai’ian and we went on our way, knowing we were, well,…

[assumptionprime]

"I Just Don't Think That's Going To Happen"

Good news: I finally made a new comic!

Bad news: It's about something that sucks! If the good news here outweighs the bad, maybe support me on Patreon.

In the midst of talking about how much this sucks, I am extremely fortunate to even be able to move to somewhere safer. Please support those who can't, or who need a helping hand to go somewhere they can be themselves. (Give trans people money)

[Image description: Comic, sixteen panels. Panel 1: Robin speaking on her phone, clearly distressed, tears in her eyes: "I'm telling you that I'm scared. These people-- the kind of people you vote for-- want to take my health care, my rights away from me. I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave my home." The voice from the phone answers: "Well," Large dialogue text in a large white space between panels: "I just don't think that's going to happen." Panel 2: Robin, wide eyes still tearing up, stares in disbelief at her phone. Panel 3: A website heading "Home > News" above a headline that reads "Utah just banned gender-affirming healthcare for transgender kids. These 21 other states are considering similar bills in 2023." Panel 4: Another headline reads "Health care for transgender adults becomes new target in 2023 legislative session." sub heading continues: "Lawmakers prefiled many anti-trans bills ahead of state--" Panel 5: Robin looking at a tablet screen, concerned. Panel 6: Robin siting on a couch, watching TV. A speaker on the TV says: "After the anti-LGBTQ+ campaign prompted several protests and bomb threats made against the Boston facility, the group has now turned its gaze toward the Gender Health Program at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville." Panel 7: Several headlines: "New Tennessee bill banning 'male or female impersonators' in public could criminalize drag performers and trans people" "Missouri lawmakers ban transgender care for minors, restrict coverage for adults" "Tennessee has passed a ban on gender affirming health care for trans kids. The bill's exceptions may only exist on paper" They headlines are accompanied by a map showing the severity of anti-transgender legislation in different US states. Panel 8: Robin's spouse Jordan sitting on the couch, looking up from her laptop toward Robin. Robin is gripping her arm tightly, a look of distress and sadness on her face, tears welling in her eyes. Jordan says "That's it. We're leaving." Panel 9: Robin taping the top of a cardboard moving box, looking over her shoulder toward Jordan, who is saying something as she walks away holding another box. More boxes are stacked behind them. Panel 10: Robin sitting at a table with a large stack of paperwork and holding a pen. She is leaning back and groaning: "Eughhhhhh" Panel 11: Robin standing with three friends, embracing as one of them speaks "I'm glad we got to see you before you left. We'll miss you." Panel 12: Jordan and Robin standing by the open trunk of their car. Several bags and suitcases are loading into the back. Jordan is shoving things in tighter and grumbling "It WILL fit!" Robin, holding a vacuum compression bag of full of clothing that has yet to go in the trunk, looks unsure. Panel 13: Robin and Jordan standing in the empty house, lights off, with sunlight coming in from the windows in the back doors and lighting them from behind. Robin looks upset, Jordan has a comforting hand on her shoulder. Panel 14: Jordan and robin sitting in the very full car, their dog in the back seat. Jordan is driving, Robin in the passenger seat looking out the window. Panel 15: Robin, still in the passenger seat of the car, now propping her head up with her hand on her cheek. She is looking down, seeming morose. Large dialogue text in a large white space between panels: "I just don't think that's going to happen." Panel 16: closer shot on Robin. Her gaze has shifted outside the window, her expression is now bitter, with tears gathering in her eyes.]

[argyrocratie]

"How will people get healthcare?

(...)

During the Spanish Civil War, Barcelona’s Medical Syndicate, organized largely by anarchists, managed 18 hospitals (6 of which it had created), 17 sanatoria, 22 clinics, 6 psychiatric establishments, 3 nurseries, and one maternity hospital. Outpatient departments were set up in all the principal localities in Catalunya. Upon receiving a request, the Syndicate sent doctors to places in need. The doctor would have to give good reason for refusing the post, “for it was considered that medicine was at the service of the community, and not the other way round.”[40] Funds for outpatient clinics came from contributions from local municipalities. The anarchist Health Workers’ Union included 8,000 health workers, 1,020 of them doctors, and also 3,206 nurses, 133 dentists, 330 midwives, and 153 herbalists. The Union operated 36 health centers distributed throughout Catalunya to provide healthcare to everyone in the entire region. There was a central syndicate in each of nine zones, and in Barcelona a Control Committee composed of one delegate from each section met once a week to deal with common problems and implement a common plan. Every department was autonomous in its own sphere, but not isolated, as they supported one another. Beyond Catalunya, healthcare was provided for free in agrarian collectives throughout Aragon and the Levant.

Even in the nascent anarchist movement in the US today, anarchists are taking steps to learn about and provide healthcare. In some communities anarchists are learning alternative medicine and providing it for their communities. And at major protests, given the likelihood of police violence, anarchists organize networks of volunteer medics who set up first aid stations and organize roving medics to provide first aid for thousands of demonstrators. These medics, often self-trained, treat injuries from pepper spray, tear gas, clubs, tasers, rubber bullets, police horses, and more, as well as shock and trauma. The Boston Area Liberation Medic Squad (BALM Squad) is an example of a medic group that organizes on a permanent basis. Formed in 2001, they travel to major protests in other cities as well, and hold trainings for emergency first aid. They run a website, share information, and link to other initiatives, such as the Common Ground clinic described below. They are non-hierarchical and use consensus decision-making, as does the Bay Area Radical Health Collective, a similar group on the West Coast.

Between protests, a number of radical feminist groups throughout the US and Canada have formed Women’s Health Collectives, to address the needs of women. Some of these collectives teach female anatomy in empowering, positive ways, showing women how to give themselves gynecological exams, how to experience menstruation comfortably, and how to practice safe methods of birth control. The patriarchal Western medical establishment is generally ignorant of women’s health to the point of being degrading and harmful. An anti-establishment, do-it-yourself approach allows marginalized people to subvert a neglectful system by organizing to meet their own needs.

After Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, activist street medics joined a former Black Panther in setting up the Common Ground clinic in one of the neediest neighborhoods. They were soon assisted by hundreds of anarchists and other volunteers from across the country, mostly without experience. Funded by donations and run by volunteers, the Common Ground clinic provided treatment to tens of thousands of people.

The failure of the government’s “Emergency Management” experts during the crisis is widely recognized. But Common Ground was so well organized it also out-performed the Red Cross, despite the latter having a great deal more experience and resources.[41] In the process, they popularized the concept of mutual aid and made plain the failure of the government. At the time of this writing Common Ground has 40 full-time organizers and is pursuing health in a much broader sense, also making community gardens and fighting for housing rights so that those evicted by the storm will not be prevented from coming home by the gentrification plans of the government. They have helped gut and rebuild many houses in the poorest neighborhoods, which authorities wanted to bulldoze in order to win more living space for rich white people."

-Peter Gelderloos, "Anarchy Works" (2010)

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 8

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Boston Medical Center

Two Weeks Later

Kara’s POV

“Kara, you gotta eat baby,” my mom pleaded as I sighed taking another bite of the soup she was feeding me.

“I just hate ya’ll gotta do all of this stuff for me,” I said feeling just discouraged and helpless.

“Don’t do that, what I told you last night?” Jey asked reaching over and wiping my tears.

“To let ya’ll help me,” I whispered as he took the food from my mom.

“Ma, gon’ check on the other one, I know you’re worried about her. I got Kara,” he said as my mom looked guilty.

“I wouldn’t make it back in time before visiting hours is over.”

“Mama, it’s ok go check on her,” I said as she sighed reaching over and giving me a hug.

“I’ll be back in the morning, they are going to transfer her from the jail to the hospital, I don’t want her to be alone,” she said as I nodded putting her mind at ease.

Even though deep down I wanted her to stay in jail not getting transferred to hospital for mental evaluation.

As soon as the door closed Jey and I shared a knowing look.

“A’ight gon’ let it out,” he said as I shook my head.

“What good would that do?”

“It may would help you feel better, you’ve been through a lot you need to talk Kara,” Jey said as I thought about how to even put into words how I felt.

“My sister almost killed me, and laughed over my body. I’ll never be ok with her Jey, and I don’t think mama can handle that.”

“Kara it ain’t for her to handle, I would be worried as fuck if you could be cool with everything that happened.”

“She’s going to try to get me to not press charges, I just know it,” I whispered as Jey sighed.

“I figured as much you’re both her daughters and she loves you both,” He said as I looked down at my chest.

“I stabbed her Jey, like I didn’t even second guess it-”

“Kara, she shot you, and was trying to kill you. I think anybody can understand that.”

“The lawyer said I would have to testify and so would Roman and Trin. I just want it to be done and over with,” I said as Jey sat down the bowl of soup.

“Trin is game if you are and even though I ain’t talked to Roman I know he will testify too. She can’t get away with this Kara. It’s gotta stop before someone gets killed. And I’ll be damned if that’s you,” he said as I burst into tears.

“I know,” I cried as Jey maneuvered himself in the bed carefully pulling me in his arms as I cried.

“We gon’ get through this…I promise you,” Jey whispered, and I prayed he was right.

-----

One Month Later

Boston Municipal Courthouse

 Jey’s POV

This has been a straight shit show. Tia is really up in here on the stand painting a picture of Kara betraying her. I am just confused as shit right now as is everyone else.

“Ms. Morris what was going through your mind as you held your sister and you boyfriend hostage?”

“Boyfriend?” Trin whispered as I felt Kara’s grip on my hand tighten as she listed to Tia serve up her lies.

“All I could think about is that I had just got suspended and I just wanted to talk to my sister.  I go to her house and there is my boyfriend I couldn’t believe they were hooking up behind my back,” she said as Kara leaned on her knees.

“Is she serious right now?” Kara whispered as Tia began crying. “I saw he had sent her flowers and I just lost it. We were arguing and before I knew it, I pulled out the gun and it went off by accident.”

I put my hand on Kara’s knee as I saw the pool of tears in her eyes. “She’s lying and they’re believing her,” she whispered looking at the jury trying to not lose it.

I couldn’t believe myself when I saw a juror crying.

“Kara, it gon’ be ok,” I whispered as she shook her head in disbelief as Tia spun a new web of lies trying to save her own ass.

“No, it’s not. It’s hopeless,” Kara whispered getting up and going out of the courtroom as I got up to follow her.

“Kara, ya’ll are going to have your time up there, and it will work out, I said catching up to her. “Why are we here?” Kara asked, the look on her face breaking my heart.

“To get justice and you will get it, I promise,” I said seeing Trin coming out with Jimmy, Roman and a few other people.

“They are doing a twenty-minute recess and then I’m up,” Roman said as I rubbed Kara’s arms trying to get her to calm down.

“Did all that really just happen?” she asked as I saw her wince in pain.

“Look sit down you’re still hurt and trying to do too much,” I fussed as I saw Roman cut his eyes at me.

“Kara, we go up there, tell the truth and everything will work out,” Roman said as Kara took a deep breath and laid her head on my shoulder.

“I hope so,” she whispered rubbing her chest as Roman looked at me with worry.

“Jey, can I talk to you for a minute?” Roman asked as I reluctantly agreed as Jimmy switched places with me and sat next to Kara.

I didn’t know what he wanted but it must have been important for him to want to talk about it now at all places.

“I need to tell you what I’mma talk about up there,” he said as I stopped him.

“Kara already told me you were in the house when she got there. She told me ya’ll argued about me, the keys, her pulling a knife on you . She told me everything,” I said as Roman sighed in relief.

“I didn’t know if she had told you, so much has been going on. I just didn't want you to be blindsided,” Roman said as I nodded in understanding.

“Jey, I’m trying my hardest here to make it right,” Roman said as I sighed. “I know I got a long way to go, and things will never be the same, but I want us to at least be able to be cordial to each other if I see you at family functions.”

“I know, I just don’t think nobody will be able to move on until Tia is gone,” I said as we saw people heading back in the court room.

“Then let’s make it happen..Kara and Logan’s safety  are the top priority,” Roman said as I silently agreed as we went back to join the others.

The tension in the court room was so thick as Roman was sworn in. Tia looked so calm it was almost scary.

“So, Mr. Reigns on the night in question why you at were your ex-wife’s house?”

“Objection your honor, why Mr. reigns was there has nothing to do with this case. This case is about Ms. Morris showing up there and holding them hostage and almost killing her sister along with Mr. reigns and Mrs. Fatu who was almost shot at.”

“Sustained, Ms. Morris stated she showed up and her boyfriend was there, so continue counselor." The judge said as I frowned at him.

“Oh my god,” Kara whispered as Trin slid over and put her arm around Kara as I grasped her hand.

“We got you,” she whispered as Kara sighed, looking at Roman

“I had saw my ex-wife on a video my cousin had posted. I was upset so I flew to see her, went in her home to wait for her and we argued about it when she got home,” Roman said with remorse.

“Mr. Reigns how did your wife- ….I’m sorry ex wife-”

“Council stop badgering the witness,” the judge said seeing how uncomfortable Roman was at the lawyer taunting him.

“I’m sorry your honor…Mr. Reigns how did Ms. Morris finally get you to agree to leave?” the lawyer asked as Roman looked over at Kara then back at the lawyer nervously.

“Uh, I wouldn’t leave after she continuously asked, Kara did what made her feel safe. I don’t blame her, I was kinda out of control,” Roman said as Kara wiped her tears.

“That’s not what I asked you Mr. Reigns, what did she do?” The lawyer pressed.

Kara’s POV

This man is really up here trying to say I’m the aggressor. Roman looked at me and I gave him a small smile letting him know I was ok and to tell the truth.

“I’ll ask you ag-”

“I don’t need you to ask again, I wouldn’t leave so Kara pulled out a knife and told me to leave. I apologized and went to le-”

“So, what you saying is she was already angry and willing to hurt someone, maybe even kill them in her hysterics. I mean she almost killed her own sister,” the lawyer said as I looked over at my mom who was crying.

“Objection your honor how is the victim on trial?!”

“Sustained, answer the question Mr. Reigns.”

“This motherfucker,” I heard Jimmy hiss as I felt Jey calmy caressing my hand.

“Kara, was upset and hurt. I wouldn’t leave, and even though I put her through hell, do you know what she did?

“I’m sure you will enlighten us Mr. Reigns,” the defense lawyer said smartly as I saw Tia smirk.

“I damn sure will, when she had a chance to run, she stopped and came back when Tia threatened to kill me. She asked Kara did she want to be the reason my daughter wouldn’t have a father,” Roman said as getting choked up.

“You monster, you tried to kill my baby!” Ms. Janice yelled standing up as the judge began beating his gavel.

“Order in the court! Order in the court!”

“I can’t believe ya’ll are putting people through this! She did it and needs to be in jail!” Janice screamed as Jimmy was trying to get her to calm down seeing two bailors coming towards us.  

“Come on auntie, let’s go take a walk,” he whispered leading her out the courtroom as she cried against him.

 The judge seemed conflicted if he should continue, or not as Roman stood up wanting to go after his mom.’

“Are you ok to continue Mr. Reigns?” the judge asked as he nodded sitting back down.

“Um, your honor it has already been a long day can we reconvene tomorrow?” the state attorney said as Roman seemed happy about the suggestion

“Yes, reconvene tomorrow at 9 a.m.,” the judge said as Roman came down and went to check on his mom.

“Ya’ll this is going to be an uphill battle, she’s spinning everything,” Mr. Reiner said as we walked out.

“It’s hopeless,” I said as my mom walked over making me look at her.

“Baby, its gonna be alright,” she said giving me a hug as I tried to hold it together.

As I saw Roman talking to his mom, he seemed relieved as she nodded, and they hugged.

“What they so happy about? That was a disaster in there,” Trin said as they walked towards us.

“Are you ok? You acting real happy all of a sudden,” I said as Roman hugged me, as I saw Jey tense up for a second before I saw his body relax.

“Uce, do you remember when I met ya’ll to sign the papers for the house and Kara was talking about getting used to being alone in the city again?” Roman asked as Jey rubbed his beard.

“Uh, yea, I remember,” Jey said still not following and neither was I. “What did you suggest she get?” Roman asked as it then clicked for Jey.

“Ring cameras,” Jey whispered as Roman nodded.

“Yes, ring cameras…Now please tell me ya’ll got them,” Roman pleaded as I nodded.

“Yea, Jey and Jimmy started doing them, but they had only got to the living room and kit-”

“Oh my god, ya’ll got everything on video,” Trin whispered as Mr. Reiner seemed to perk up at the new information.

“How do you retrieve the footage, Kara?” he asked, knowing I didn’t live in that house anymore.

“When I used It, it would automatically save to my iCloud and the ring camera app. When I was out and about, I could look at footage from inside the house,” I said opened the app and going back to the date before giving it to Mr. Reiner as he turned off the sound and began fast forwarding through the footage from that day.

“Can we use it?” Jey asked as but he didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

 “Kara, Roman, and Trinity come with me please,” he said pausing the video on my phone as I looked at Jey, panicking. “I’ll be right here waiting,” he said as I nodded following behind Trin and Roman.

“Can I help you Mr. Reiner?” the clerk asked as he smiled. “Yes, I need to see Judge Kendell in his chambers this is important. I have new evidence this has come to light, and it is vital to our case,” he said as the clerk got up to see had he left yet.

“Please let him see us,” Trin prayed as I felt like this was too good to be true.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think about that. We could have avoided all this shit,” I hissed as roman grabbed my hands.

“Hey, it’s about to be over…Believe me,” he whispered as I nodded.

“I’m just glad you remembered, because I didn’t even think about it,” I said as he sighed. “It just popped in my head when I was talking to mom and I’m glad it did too,” he said giving me a hug that I actually welcomed this time.

“The judge will see you all now,” the clerk said taking us to his chamber. I felt like I was walking the green mile.

The poor judge looked ill watching the footage, thankfully he didn’t have the sound on, and we didn’t have to see it. I don’t think I would have been able to keep it together.

“I will inform the prosecution of the new developments. You do know this will be played in court tomorrow. Do you all think you can handle that judge Kendall asked as Roman and Trin nodded.

“Ms. Morris what about you?”

“If it gets to be too much, I’ll leave…They have to see it, she can’t get away with this.”

“Ms. Morris, you fought for your life in there that night, and I don’t want you to feel guilty. You had no choice in the matter, and the jury needs to see this,” he said as I nodded in understanding and feeling better knowing he knew the truth.

“Mrs. Fatu, I’ve watched your face throughout this trial, and I’ve seen a lot of this weighing heavy on you. I want you to know that you did the right thing, you ran and got your family help.”

 Reaching over I grabbed her hand in mine as she wiped her tears.

“Told you so,” I whispered, clearing my throat trying not to cry myself as Roman put his arm around us both.

 “I’m sorry we’ve had to put you all through this.” Jude Kendall said sincerely remorseful.

“I’m just glad Roman thought about it and we can set the record straight,” I said he looked at Roamn.

 “You didn’t hesitate to risk your life for these young ladies, its commendable.”

“They’re my family I wasn’t a hard decision,” Roman said as the Judge cracked a smile.

“Mr. Reigns the circus that took place in there today will not happen tomorrow; I promise you.”

“I hope not sir, but I’m just thankful this will be over soon so I can get back to my daughter.”

“I will see you all at 9 am and let’s finish this,” he said standing up shaking all of our hands.

I walked out feeling happy but at the same time unable to really feel it was over until I heard a guilty verdict.

----

Later on that night

Kara’s new house

Jey’s POV

“So, ya’ll didn’t see the footage?” Jimmy asked as Trin shook her head.

“Nah, he said watching it tomorrow was going to be hard enough. He watched and apologized. How’s Kara?”

“I just checked on her..She’s finally asleep.  It was hard on her today,” I said not even wanting to think about the train wreck that was court today.

“I know it was, I couldn’t believe that asshole was trying to paint her as the problem,” Jimmy said as I nodded taking a swig of my beer.

“I wanted to reach over and kill him, like do you know what she been through. What we all been through dealing with that crazy fool?”

“He gets paid to get his clients off, but he ain’t gon’ be able to do shit tomorrow, it’s game over,” Trin said with full of confidence.

“Your right let’s just focus on tomorrow. I don’t even know how Kara is going to react seeing that footage tomorrow. Hell, how are any of us going to react?” I asked, truly not looking forward to watching the video tomorrow.

The lawyer called earlier and told us they had lifted the footage from the app and put it together splicing the view from the living room and kitchen together.

Tomorrow people were going to see everything up until they carried Roman out of the house on a gurney.

The worst moment of our lives was about to be displayed for everyone to see but if that was what needed to be done for Tia to pay then so be it.

-----

The next day

Boston Municipal Courthouse

Kara’s POV

I smiled watching that smile fall from Tia’s face as the judge allowed the evidence to logged in and tagged. They are currently moving the big screen TV to the middle of the courtroom.

“I have to warn you all this is graphic, and does have sound.,” the Judge said as Tia’s lawyer all but jumped out of his chair.

“Your honor, I object this is a witch hunt,” Tia’s lawyer said as the footage was being loaded.

“Sustained…. Counselor your client got on this stand and said her side of the story, now the prosecution is about to present their side of the story and evidence.” He said as Tia’s lawyer sat down placing his hand over the microphone as Tia leaned over talking to him.

She was shaken, that smile was gone now, and I loved it.

“Ms. Morris, Mr. Reigns, and Mrs. Fatu if at any time this gets to be too much you can leave,” the judge said looking at me as I gave him a small smile.

The video started with me walking across the living room with Roman in tow.

I felt the Jey tense as he saw Roman following me into the kitchen.

I felt embarrassed watching myself pulling out a knife on Roman. “God, I look crazy, maybe she was right,” I whispered as Jey shook his head.

“No, you were defending yourself, he wouldn’t leave,” Jey said looking over at Roman who had his head down, refusing to look.

“Kara, we need to talk about Je-”

“I don’t want to talk to you…I want you out!”

Hearing my voice, Iclosed my eyes almost transporting back to that moment as I tried to tune everyone out. But hearing a collective gasp, I looked up to see Tia urging Roman back inside the house and shutting the door with the gun pointed directly at him.

Lie number one exposed…..

“My god, Tia,” my mother whispered in disbelief as the scene played out like a movie in front of us.

“Get back here or I’ll shoot him.. Do you want to be the reason Logan has no father?”

I felt helpless once again, seeing myself this way was fucking with me. My hands in the air begging and pleading for her to calm down as she seemed to love the fear she had instilled in us.

Roman jumping in front of me to protect me.

“You didn’t give us a chance because you wanted her, Roman! You wanted her!..... Jey wanted her!”

I looked at Jey as he frowned looking the footage, but he never let go of my hand. His eyes full of tears.

“Kara, I got your food, twins ran up the street to the store for your ginger ale, and some snacks.”

“Trin Run!!”

“Help! Help us! She has a gun!” Trin hysterical screams fill the courtroom as she leans, over putting her head on my shoulder.

“I can’t do this,” my mother cried getting up, but my dad pulled her back down into her seat. “No, you need to see this, we all do.”

“Run Kara!”

I glanced up at the screen, hearing the first gunshot, my stomach becoming queasy as I looked over and saw Roman getting up to follow his mom, who was unable to stand it anymore.

 She had just saw her son head hit his head on the table as he struggled to get a gun away from a lunatic. His neck snapping back as he collapsed on the ground, unconscious and bleeding profusely from his head.

Who could blame her for wanting to leave?

I was finding people to look at instead of watching the video. I glanced at the jury as soon as I saw the video switch to the view in the kitchen.

I didn’t want to see it…I couldn’t see it.

As another gunshot rang out, I closed my eyes heard my body hit the floor with a thud.  I shifted in my seat trying move, but Jey stopped me, pulling me closer as I looked up at him.  

The ushed tears spilling from his eyes breaking my heart. I felt the walls closing in on me.

My heart dropping  to my stomach as a blood curling scream escaped from my mother’s lips as I stabbed my sister, the swift sound of the blade entering her flesh made me nauseous.

The silent sobs of the jurors making my heart race. I saw many people in the room focused on me, trying to see if I was actually watching the video…They wanted a show, but I wasn’t going to give it to them.

What they didn’t know was that I didn’t have to look at the TV screen to know what was happening.

It was a horrible nightmare etched in my memory, consuming me as I laid in that hospital bed thinking and wondering what I could have done differently.  

The way you could hear a pin drop in the courtroom when the Paramedic screamed, I wasn’t breathing and asking for backup sent chills down my spine.

Hearing Jey’s voice I looked at the screen. There was Jey seemingly in a daze helping the paramedic any way he could.

“She’s dead, Jey,” the joy in Tia voice shocking everyone in the court room. She truly wanted me dead and it ain’t no coming back from that.

Seeing the relief in Jey’s face as I began breathing again as he kissed me on the temple, I couldn’t stop my tears.  

“Kara, its Josh…I love you so much…You hear me I’m here and I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” I couldn’t take it anymore and as calmy as I could, I got up and left, as Jey followed me.

“Kara, stop for a second,” he pleaded as I tried to find a quiet place, finally going into an empty stairwell away from prying eyes.

“I’m so sorry I did that to you,” I whimpered as Jey made me stop walking and wrapped me up in his arms, burying his head in my neck.

“You ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for,” his voice breaking as we silently cried together, the reality of what could have happened and did happen hitting us hard.

“I almost lost you and it’s fuckin’ wit me but I can’t even imagine what you feeling after having to see all that. It’s ok to not be ok.”

“I know, it just seemed to hit me all at once,” I whispered pulling away slightly, to look at him.

“We gon’ be ok though Kara, we are almost there,” Jey said as I gave him a tired smile.

“Thanks for being here,” I said as he smiled at me. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, I got you and we can go back when you ready,” he whispered as I nodded.

After about an hour, we went back in the courtroom sat back down next to Trin and Jimmy.

“You ok? We had gone out to look for you but couldn’t find y’all.”

“Yea, I just had a moment sis, and needed a break. What did we miss?” I asked as she chuckled.

“Girl, the defense was so shook.. They waived calling any of us back up to the stand to be questioned. They know it’s a wrap, they rested and gave a weak ass closing argument and now want to take the original plea deal,” Trin said as rubbing my knee trying to calm my nerves.

“I’m so glad this is about over,” I said as Mr. Reiner stood up.

“Yesterday we heard this sad sob story from Tia Morris on how her sister hurt her by going with her boyfriend. When in actuality, Tia did that betrayal to her sister Kara Morris,” he said talking to the jury, briefly turning around to point at Tara.

Watching their faces, it seemed they were invested in what he was telling them.

“Your honor is this necessary?” Tara’s Lawyer asked as Mr. Reiner smiled.

“Your honor, they brought up this yesterday, so I feel the jury has a right to know how all this started.”

“Sustained…Keep it brief,” Judge Kendall said as Mr. Reiner nodded in understanding.

 “Tara Morris isn’t as innocent as she claims to be.. She sought out her sister’s husband, seduced him, had a child with him and them tried to extort money from him. The child hasn’t had anything to do with its mother really since birth.” He said walking back and forth down the jury box, making sure to look at everyone.

“When Ms. Morris realized Mr. Reigns still loved his wife, and wasn’t going to be with her, she abandoned the child and agreed to sign over her rights to her daughter if Mr. Reigns would give her 50 million dollars.”

“Dirty bitch,” Trin muttered as I sighed shifting in my seat.

“Her sister Kara Morris then moves away to get away from the chaos that is her relationship with her sister, and husband. Gets a divorce, is trying to piece her life back together to only have her home invaded and almost shot and killed by that same sister she left Florida to get away from.”

“Gon’ break dat shit down for’em,” Jimmy said engrossed in what the lawyer was saying. Everyone was and I actually felt a little more at ease.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who taunts another human being as someone they love lays dying on the cold hard floor?” The dramatic pause in his voice captivating the room.

I’ll tell you who… An animal that’s who, an animal shows no remorse. The tricky part though is when Ms. Morris realized she had to face the consequences of her actions, she cried mental breakdown, and I don’t think that’s the case her at all.”

I felt Jey caressing my leg as I looked at him and he winked. “She’s going down,” he mouthed as I nodded, looking back at my mother who seemed just defeated.

“The video we all saw today clearly shows malice intent and while at times unhinged, Ms. Morris knew what she was doing. Now, I would never say deny someone mental help, but I do believe in actions have consequences and Tia Morris has been terrorizing people with no consequences for her actions.”

I nodded agreeing with him as I saw a few jurors looking at me with a sad smile.

I didn’t want pity. I wanted this to be over. Sensing my discomfort Jey draped his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer, kissing me gently on the temple as I melted into his touch.

“It’s time we do right by Ms. Morris and make sure her attacker takes responsibility for her actions and her disregard for human life. It’s time for Kara to heal so she can move on with her life.”

He was working the room, and everyone was hanging on to his every word.

 “It’s time we do right by Mr. Reigns so he can move on a focus on being a father to his beautiful little girl who needs him so he can move on with his life.”

“Oh, he’s going in for the kill,” Trin whispered as I smiled. “Yea, he is.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we do right by Mrs. Fatu so she’s not afraid to walk into her best friend’s home. Give her the comfort of knowing there won’t be a psycho lying in wait trying to kill the people she loves or even kill her.” Mr. Reiner said, his voice trembling as I saw an older lady juror nodding, wiping her tears.

“Damn, man,” Jimmy whispered trying to keep his emotions in check as he looked at Trin. “Hey, I’m ok,” she assured him leaning over giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have the power to give them all peace of mind so they can finally move forward with their lives… Please make the right decision and thank you all for your time.”

I wanted to jump up and give him a standing ovation, but I had to force myself to sit quietly. Looking over I saw Tia arguing with her lawyer, that cool facade long gone. She was scared.

“Oh, he did that,” Trin said with a small smile.

“Yes, he did.. Now let’s see if the jury can take it on home,” I said as the judge gave them instructions.

As they filed out the room to deliberate, I went and sat by my mom and dad. I had been somewhat avoiding them knowing they were struggling with being there for Tia and me.

They didn’t want either of their children in trouble or hurt.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” my mom cried as I shook my head at her words.

“Mama, it’s ok…I’m good,” I said as my father gave me a hug. “You did what you had to do,” he whispered as my mom began sobbing.

“What was she thinking?” my mom cried as my dad sighed.

“Rebecca, she wasn’t thinking. She’s so used to getting away with stuff or shifting the blame she thought she was invincible. Now she’s going to have to deal with the consequences,” he said as my mother continued to cry.

“Maybe the time away will do her good and she can get some help she needs,” she said as I tried to share her positive outlook, but I wanted her ass in jail for the rest of her life.

Nothing would never ever be the same again.

As we went to lunch at a local eatery down the street, I tried not to worry but I was so use to Tia finding some way to get out of things I had to be prepared.

“So, when are you going to Mike’s?” Jimmy asked as I chuckled. “I don’t know yet, but he has been sending me ideas of what he could do to cover this,” I said pointing at my chest.

“It’s not that big, so you could easily get like a tiny tattoo,” Jey said knowing I was never really big on tattoos on my body, but I loved them on him.

“Doctor said it would be a few months before I could get a tattoo, I’m still healing. I think I want a little one, but the idea of the pain scares me. I remember your choice words as he did your back tattoo,” I said as he chuckled.

“Man, dat shit hurt, I was questioning my choices,” he said as we laughed.  

“Good choice though, it looks amazing, and I love it. It was really cool to see the process up close,” I said as he blushed.

“Damn, she got twin out her blushin’ n shit,” Jimmy said as Trin slapped him on the shoulder.

“Get out they business, Jurdy.” Trin warned as Jey rolled his eyes at his brother. Hearing my phone buzz on the table, I quickly picked it up.

“Hello, Mr. Reiner,” I said as the table got quiet in anticipation.

“I was just calling to let you know, they’ve reached a verdict. I’ll meet you all back at the courthouse.”

“Um, thank you, we’ll see you there,” I said hanging up, feeling anxious. Damn that was quick as hell.

“What did he say?” Jey asked as I looked at him in disbelief. “They already have reached a verdict, we need to head back to the courthouse,” I said as he smiled at me.

“What we still sittin’ here for then,” he said getting up to go pay the bill.

“Damn, in under an hour! “Jimmy said as Trin smiled at him.

“It’s guilty, I know it is,” she said as I silently prayed it was.

---

Boston Municipal Courthouse

Jey’s POV

“Will the defendant please rise,” the judge said as Tia stood up with her lawyer.

The appointed juror that was nominated to speak began to read the verdict.

“We the jury on the charge of attempted murder in the 1st degree we find the defendant, Tia Morris not guilty.” The collective gasp of disbelief spread throughout the courtroom as Tia smiled.

I wanted to bolt but Jey held me in place. “Just listen,” he pleaded.

“On count two, attempted murder in the second degree, we find the defendant Tia Morris guilty,” the juror said as I collapsed against Jey in relief.

“I got you..I’m right here,” Jey whispered as I tried to keep my tears at bay.

“On the charge of reckless endangerment in the second degree, we find the defendant Tia Morris guilty.” Satisfied murmurs filled the courtroom as I finally felt free, she had been found guilty.

“Was the verdict unanimously reached?” the judge asked as all the jurors answered yes.

“Good, we can begin to talk about the terms of the plea deal.”

Looking at Tia, I knew the theatrics was about to begin. She all of a sudden cried out, and collapsed on the floor as my mother screamed, running over to her with a bailiff.

“Oh, get up, ain’t nobody buying that shit,” Trin said as I shook my head.

“There she goes, always two steps ahead,” I whispered as Jey made me look at him.

“Aye, she can fall out all she wants, it’s a done deal…You hear me, they found her guilty,” he said as I nodded trying not to look over at her.

“Bitch, get yo’ fakin’ ass up off dat floor,” Trin whispered with a hiss as Jimmy shook his head in confusion.

“She really done fell her crazy ass out on these folks’ floor,” he said as Roman looked over at us in just as much shock.

“Leave her alone, she alright..Get up ,Tia,” my father said standing up as my mother scoffed at him.

“She’s hurt Bill.”

“Hurt my ass, more like caught. Tia get up before I come over there,” he ordered as she began to sit up, wiping her tears.

“Yea, that’s what I thought,” my dad said irritated, sitting back down shaking his head.

“Lord have mercy,” Ms. Janice said as Roman shook his head.

“They got her Rebecca, come back over here,” my dad said as my mom looked Tia over quickly and came back to her seat.

“Well, that was rather eventful,” Judge Kendall said looking at Tia as she wept standing next to her lawyer.

“Ms. Morris, your guilty verdict of second degree means some feel you acted in a moment of passion. That tails a 5-to-15-year sentence. Your reckless endangerment charge warrants three to seven years. Now your attorney wants your clean record to be taken into account and I tend to somewhat agree.”

“Thank god," my mother said as I rolled my eyes. I was getting irritated as fuck, as Jey reeled me in with his touch.

“Tia Morris, in taking all that into consideration, and you opting for the original plea deal. Ms. Morris, I hereby sentence you to eight years at the Boston State Women’s prison. Probation eligibility after three years served. Counseling will be provided on a weekly basis,” he said as Tia nodded, wiping her tears.

“Thank you so much your honor,” she whimpered making my skin crawl.

“You’ve been given a second chance Ms. Morris don’t make the court regret it. Also, I’m issuing a no contact order with your sister Kara Morris. When released if you violate the order, you will go back to finish your original 15-year sentence. Do you understand?”

“Yes, your honor I do,” Tia whispered as I nodded taking in the verdict.

“She could be out in three years.”

“Hey, let’s not think about it now,” Jey said as I looked at Tia as she hugged her lawyer.

Justice had been served, but I still felt like things between Tia, and I were a long time from being over.

Could we all really move on with this cloud hanging over our heads?

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[liaromancewriter]

Stand By Me

Premise: Cassie experiences the downside of having Ethan Ramsey as a mentor.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angsty Fluff Format: Prose + Text and Pic Fic Words: 2,610

A/N: Submission for @choicesaprilchallenge24 prompt, two-word sentence starter: "you're wrong"

Part 1: The Calm

Cassie Valentine had never traveled quite like this. The cargo plane’s interior was cavernous and dimly lit, a stark contrast to the tightly packed but bright commercial jet that had flown her and Ethan Ramsey from Boston to Miami for the first leg of their trek to assist humanitarian efforts after an earthquake in Haiti.

Cassie thought idly that the jet had been more comfortable with its plush seating. She sat cross-legged on the cold, metal floor, a duffle bag shoved behind her, cushioning her lower back from the unyielding steel, and scanned her surroundings.

The sparse interior was devoid of the usual comforts of commercial flights. There were no overhead bins, seatback trays or in-flight entertainment to pass the time. Just an expansive, unadorned metal hull echoing with the sound of the engines, a constant, deafening roar that made any attempt at conversation futile.

“Hope you’re strapped in tight, folks,” Hank, the team leader, shouted above the noise.

Standing in the center of the plane, his legs spread for balance, he stretched his long arms to grip one of the loops hanging from the ceiling.

“It’s going to be a bumpy ride, but at least there’s no middle seat to fight over,” Hank continued matter-of-factly as the plane gained speed on the runway, its sides rattling in response. A few people chuckled.

He finished his safety instructions a minute or two before the wheels lifted off the tarmac, and quickly strapped himself into a jump seat on the far side. He caught her watching him, and winked flirtatiously.

Back on the ground, Ethan had greeted Hank with an easy familiarity borne out of their shared experience during the Amazon mission years earlier. The casual insults had rolled off their tongues as they needled each other jokingly.

Cassie suspected this trip would be eye-opening in more ways than one as she spied on Ethan’s relaxed profile out of the corner of her eye. As if sensing her scrutiny, he glanced askance at her and she gave him a thumbs up signal.

She huddled inside the leather jacket, shivering from the chill that permeated the aircraft as it began its ascent. Leaning her head on Ethan’s shoulder, she smiled ruefully at Libby, the petite red-haired fifth-year surgical resident strapped in across from her.

They’d gotten to chatting in the hangar as they waited for the plane to be loaded with boxes filled with medical and food supplies and humanitarian aid packages. Libby, on her third trip to a disaster zone, had been a fount of information on what to expect and advice on how to manage in crude living conditions.

Cassie felt a sense of adventure mingled with apprehension. The headlines coming out of Port-au-Prince had painted a bleak picture of destruction, death and despair.

When Ethan’s contact in the WHO reached out asking for medical volunteers, Cassie knew she wasn’t going to be left behind this time. She might not have experience in field hospitals, but it was time she got it.

Ethan hadn’t argued or tried to talk her out of it. They were doctors; this is what they did.

As the plane reached cruising altitude, Cassie peered out of a small window near the floor. The view was obscured by a thick mesh covering the outside, but it did little to diminish the sense of wonder at the vast blue sea below, the calm surface broken only by the white crests of waves.

The flight was long, longer still, with nothing to do to pass the time. Cassie found herself drifting off to sleep, lulled by the monotony of the engine’s roar and the comforting feel of Ethan’s arm around her.

The next thing she knew, he was nudging her awake. The plane’s vibration beneath her had changed, gradually descending as they approached their destination. The atmosphere inside was abuzz with anticipation. Shortly after, the plane touched down on the tarmac, the landing rougher than the take-off.

“Ready?” Ethan asked as they unstrapped themselves once the plane had come to a halt.

Cassie nodded, stretching her arms and legs to shake off the stiffness. “Next time, remind me to grab a sleeping bag and some snacks.”

He chuckled, but his smile was soft as he stared into her green eyes. He ran his index finger down the side of her face, tucked back a lock of blonde hair that had escaped her ponytail, and tilted her face up.

The kiss was a mere brush of the lips, whisper soft, barely there before it was gone. It was the last moment of normality. Once they disembarked, everything would change.

Part 2: The Storm

The oppressive heat and humidity were unlike anything Cassie had experienced before, although she’d certainly been to the tropics. Her brother’s island home on St. Thomas was a few hundred miles east, but its luxurious, air-conditioned environs were worlds apart from the rows of beige-colored tents spread out in every direction.

The back of her short-sleeved cotton scrub top was damp from perspiration, so she lifted the hem to air it out. Exiting the stuffy interior of a medical tent housing non-urgent cases, Cassie took a deep breath. The pungent smells of human waste and unwashed bodies hit her nostrils immediately, and she started gagging.

Sweat dripped down her face, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. In the last few days, she’d lost her weight in fluids as they dug latrines, carried supplies from one end of the field hospital to another and spent hours in airless spaces treating patients whose eyes were inconsolable with loss.

It had taken her more than a minute to get her bearings, but Ethan had been in his element. She knew he’d volunteered with Partners in Health when he was a resident and fellow. But she’d had a hard time picturing the sophisticated, opera-loving Dr. Ramsey in such crude surroundings, digging ditches, boots covered in mud, grime staining his clothes.

They had both been busy in their respective areas, retreating every night, bone tired, muscles aching, to their assigned bedroom in staff housing near the hospital. All they did was sleep before waking up early to do it all over again.

Suddenly missing him and desperate to feel his arms around her, Cassie marched down the dirt path between tents, her green eyes searching for him or someone familiar who could tell her if they’d seen him.

Her ears pricked when she heard his deep voice and distinctive laugh close by. Changing directions, she followed her instincts and turned left, slowing down when she saw him standing in the middle of a clearing, his back to her.

Ethan was with an older man she hadn’t met before. His gray hair was long from the back, brushing past his collar, with deep-set eyes and a hooked nose. He spoke English with a heavy accent, gesticulating with his hands for emphasis.

The other man caught her spying on them, and his voice boomed, chiding. “Ah, another acolyte for my young friend. It’s always the same story, eh, Ramsey?”

Cassie flushed when she realized he was referring to her.

Surprised, Ethan spun on his heels and relaxed when he spotted her. “Cassie.”

Her earlier euphoria faded, replaced by a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach as she joined them.

“You know each other?” The other man asked, glancing between her and Ethan.

“Klaus, meet Dr. Valentine.” Ethan made the introductions. “Cassie, this is Dr. van Rijn, special missions head at the WHO. We go way back.”

“Valentine, Valentine. Why do I know that name?” Dr. van Rijn tapped one finger against his lips before his eyes cleared in recognition. “Ah, yes, of course.”

Cassie felt a momentary high at being recognized by someone of his stature, but his next words had her deflating like a balloon popped with a pin.

“You’re the intern!”

“That was six years ago,” Ethan shook his head in amusement. “She’s hardly an intern anymore, Klaus. Dr. Valentine is—”

“Your mentee, or rather, your protege,” he interrupted. “Yes, yes, Ethan, I remember. My hair is more gray than when we last saw each other, but my memory is sharper than ever.”

“But your hearing could use some work,” Ethan retorted, shoving his hands in his pant pockets. “As I was saying….”

Cassie saw herself standing in a long tunnel, the dismissive words spoken by the other man echoing around her. Intern. Mentee. Ramsey’s protege. Reduced to nothing more than that.

“Cassie, are you alright?”

Ethan’s concerned voice broke through her reverie, and she looked up, startled. They were both staring at her, one in disquiet and the other with curiosity.

“Sorry, I was miles away,” Cassie said. “What were you talking about?”

“Ethan was just telling me you’re now leading his former team,” van Rijn said. “That’s quite an accomplishment for one so young. You made a smart decision when you chose to train under Dr. Ramsey. He’s one of the best and most astute physicians I’ve ever met. You’ll go far if you keep following in your mentor’s footsteps.”

Incensed at the implication that her success was not of her own making, Cassie opened her mouth to deliver a cutting retort or at least defend her record. But Ethan stepped in front of her, figuratively, and beat her to it.

“That’s unfair, Klaus,” Ethan said sternly. “Dr. Valentine is brilliant. She diagnosed and found a cure for Naveen when he and I had both given up. She’s the keynote speaker at this year’s AADM conference, just like I was all those years ago, and is a special advisor to a Congressional national committee on healthcare affordability.”

He paused, frowning slightly before continuing. “And before you shove your foot even further down your mouth, you’ve apparently forgotten that she’s also my wife.”

Cassie stared in shock at Ethan, her ears ringing. His wife?!? That’s how he chose to end this? She thought they were partners and equals first, but clearly, she’d been mistaken.

“I heard you’d gotten married,” van Rijn said, flustered, “but I didn’t realize it was to…”

His words trailed off, and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment as he glanced at Cassie.

Ethan, too, watched her warily as she continued to stand there in stony silence, arms folded tightly across her front.

As she grappled with her emotions, feeling the old imposter syndrome return, Cassie knew she would blow her top if she didn’t walk away now. Preferably with her dignity intact.

“It was a pleasure,” she almost tripped over the word, “to meet you, Dr. van Rijn. I have to get back to work.”

She nodded rigidly at Ethan. “I’ll see you later.”

She was practically running once she was out of sight, unable to slow down despite the heat making her lightheaded.

Cassie often counted her blessings that she’d gotten a chance to work with Ethan, the compassionate and caring doctor who’d captured her heart. But for the first time in her life, she wished she’d never met Dr. Ramsey.

Part 3: The Aftermath

Part 4: The Closure

Ethan poured Malbec into a long-stemmed wine glass for Cassie the moment he heard her keys rattle in the apartment door. He’d had his ears cocked for the last half-hour, the trepidation building with every passing minute.

He heard the swoosh of the hallway closet door as she likely hung up her coat and the clatter of her shoes hitting the hardwood floor. Just as she walked into the living room, he took a large swallow of his wine and promptly started coughing when it went down the wrong pipe.

“Are you okay?” Cassie asked, her brow furrowed in concern as she approached him and brushed her hand up and down his back.

Ethan nodded, wheezing as the cough tickled his throat. He set the glass on the counter before he spilled the drink all over the kitchen floor. Finally, he managed to get himself under control.

Cassie lifted the glass of wine he’d poured for her and sipped slowly, her eyes closing as she savored the taste.

“You always know just what I need,” she said with a deep sigh. “M&M was particularly long and exhausting. Tell me, why did I choose to stay in academic medicine?”

“You’re wrong,” Ethan said quietly, causing her eyes to drift open and stare at him in surprise. “I don’t always know what you need. Something’s gone wrong between us. Things haven’t been the same since Haiti.”

Cassie pursed her lips and watched him above the rim of her glass, not reacting to his statement in any other way. Then she finished her wine and set the glass down on the counter.

“We already discussed this back then and today on text,” Cassie reminded him. “What else is there to say?”

She shrugged, and then her eyes turned hard like steel. “I need to stand on my own, but who you are, what you are…well, it casts a long shadow. I didn’t like how you and Klaus reduced me to someone who exists only because of what you saw in me. And not because I worked hard for it.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I know,” Cassie cut him off. “You might not have meant to, but you defending me without giving me a chance to do it myself, you might as well have.”

“Why can’t I stand up for you?” Ethan said, frustration leaking through as he stabbed his fingers into his hair.

“I need you to stand by me, not for me,” Cassie said, her tone measured in response to his heated one. “I will always be measured by your reputation, just like you have to contend with Naveen’s legacy. We can’t control what others say or do. I’ve accepted it.”

“Then why are you angry with me?” Ethan shot back.

“I’m not angry.”

Cassie closed the distance between them, her smile throwing him off. When she took his hand and laced her fingers through his, he felt as if the tight band around his heart loosened.

“I’m not angry,” she repeated, squeezing his fingers. “But I resent that, despite what we talked about in Haiti, your natural inclination on seeing that Pictagram post was to respond defending my honor.”

“Don’t deny it,” she cautioned when he started to do just that. “If I wanted to shoot down small-minded individuals, I’m more than capable of doing it myself.”

Ethan took a deep breath in and then exhaled. “I did want to do that,” he admitted. “I saw red because what they said was so far from reality.”

“If you thought that was bad, it’s good you’re not on Reddit,” Cassie said, twisting her lips in a wry smile.

“You know, if someone attacked your reputation, I’d be upset too.” She nestled against him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“But we both know the truth. I respect you enough to let you tear into shreds anyone that came at you. Give me the same courtesy, at least professionally,” Cassie added, angling her lips to kiss the underside of his jaw.

“If it was a personal attack, you have my permission to destroy them with that deathly Dr. Ramsey glare.”

Ethan snorted with laughter when she perfectly mimicked his angry expression.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” he said, framing her face between his hands. His lips hovered above hers, waiting, prolonging the anticipation.

“You may kis—”

But she didn’t need to finish for he was already kissing her, and she was kissing him back. Everything was finally right in their world.

-----------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @justyourusualash @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @youlookappropriate

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 14A: Where Do We Go Now?

Soundtrack: “Sweet Child O' Mine,” Guns N' Roses, 1987 [click here to listen]

She's got eyes of the bluest skies As if they thought of rain I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place Where as a child I'd hide And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by...

Philadelphia || June 1988

Claire pushed her chair back a bit from the desk. Raised her arms. Stretched. Breathed deeply.

Reading for the eighth time the words she’d finally tapped out on the Selectric this morning, after days of rolling them around in her head.

Chief Physician

Boston Medical Center

To Whom It May Concern,

As you may be aware, I am a trauma surgeon at BMC. Twelve months ago I was placed on administrative leave by the BMC, and my medical license was suspended, pending the resolution of BMC’s internal investigation into my conduct. The investigation started by looking into a near-fatal error I committed during a surgery, and then quickly discovered that I had not only been forging prescriptions and stealing painkillers for quite some time, but also developed a severe addition to those painkillers.

As you may also be aware, I did not contest the actions taken by BMC. Subsequently I enrolled in an intensive drug rehabilitation program in North Carolina. I am happy to share that I am almost twelve months clean, having completed the program last December and successfully maintained my sobriety since then.

I have previously communicated to the Board, on several occasions, my sincere regret for what I did and my remorse for the incredible lapse of professional judgment and ethical standards I demonstrated. I repeat those regrets to you now.

Which is, in part, why I am writing you today. I wish to understand what else is required of me to return to work, in any capacity, at BMC.

Making amends for wrongs was something that Claire and Geillis had talked about a lot, during her time at The Ridge. Yes, doing that was a formal part of any 12 Step program.

But it was more than just saying sorry – it required the addict to recognize the wrongs.

To own them. To understand why they had happened, and the impact they had had on others.

Because nothing sounded more inadequate in the English language than the two words, I’m sorry.

But words matter. And this attitude shift was a crucial step on any addict’s road to recovery.

Making amends was something that Claire and Jamie had talked a lot about, too. She had seen him make amends many times, in their short time together – and quite often during their last few weeks on the road, as they traveled city to city for Print’s acoustic tour and Jamie came into contact with many people who had last seen him drunk/rude/high/demanding/hung over/acting like a total asshole during the last (disastrous) tour in ’86.

He made it a point to really talk to each person, to apologize for specific things he remembered doing. No matter if it was the venue manager, or the catering guy, or the lighting guy, or the security guard. I was a dick when I was drunk. I said terrible things. I hurt you. I’m sorry.

Two weeks ago in Chicago, he couldn’t sleep after a fucking incredible show at the old Chicago Theater. The adrenaline buzz after the show so much better than any pills or bourbon or groupie could have given him. He had tossed and turned for hours, until finally, quietly slipping out of their bed and perching in the easy chair in their suite at the Palmer House, watching Claire shift restlessly under the covers without him.

But of course, she knew when something was wrong. She woke, and turned to face him, easing up on one elbow. Watching him back. Giving him space.

When he finally spoke, it was just above a raspy whisper.

“How can you be here, Claire, when all you do is hear me talk about how awful I was to so many people?”

Her heart did break a little bit. “Because I never knew that version of you, Jamie. What I care about is who you are now.”

He sighed, breath ragged. “This shit is so fucking hard.”

“I know, baby.” Somehow she was standing beside him, and blindly he buried his face into the warm skin of her belly. She threaded her fingers in his hair, held him close as his pulse spiked.

“Deep breaths, Jamie. Focus on me. I’m here.”

He had had several panic attacks during the tour. Which could be chalked up to anything – the stress of changing hotels every day, the crush of fans and press that clustered around their tour bus when they arrived in a new city, the women who pulled down their tops in the front row at every concert, the Jack Daniels bottles and little baggies of powder left in his dressing room before the show in Wilkes-Barre.

But instead of smashing to pieces all alone, she sheltered him. He knew when to ask for help. And always found her just in time to crash against her, shaking and crying in bathroom stalls and green rooms and even once on the deserted tour bus. And each time she was so grateful for the psych rotation she’d done in med school that prepared her to help him.

But that didn’t make it any easier.

“Breathe in, Jamie. Think about how much I love you.”

He drew in a deep, sobbing breath.

“That’s right. Now exhale. I’m never going to leave you.”

He exhaled, shoulders shuddering.

“And inhale, Jamie. We can get hamburgers for breakfast again, if you want.”

He inhaled, and she felt a faint smile against her belly.

“That’s right. And out. Think about how amazing our wedding night will be.”

He exhaled. Gently bit the soft, soft skin above her bellybutton. She shivered, and smiled.

“Good. Center on me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

She counted along with him – twenty four more deep breaths. Caressing his forehead, and kissing his hair, and loving him and loving him and loving him.

Finally when he had calmed down, she crawled back into bed, and he held her so close against him. Kissing her forehead. Whispering endless words of love.

“If I ever fuck up with you, Claire, know I’ll always own it.”

She kissed his eyebrows. “The same for me, Jamie. I’d rather be mad at you than not have you.”

He had said the same words to her this morning. A promise he never tired of repeating. Murmured against her hair when he bent over to kiss her in the bed, body thrumming with energy.

Colum had booked a studio here in Philadelphia for the day, so that the band could lay down recordings of the acoustic tracks they’d played to dozens of sold-out crowds during the tour. With the incredible press from the tour – thanks in no small part to Geordie Ash’s profile in Rolling Stone – and bootlegs in wide circulation, it was time. And for once, the band agreed with the label.

She would join him later, of course. But today she needed the time to herself, to finally write and then mail the letter to Boston.

All because of Jamie.

“You can’t stay in a state of limbo forever, Claire,” he had said one night, meeting her eyes in the bathroom mirror as he gently brushed her shower-wet hair. “And I know we still don’t know where we’ll live when we’re married. But you have the right to know.”

She had sighed, jamming her hands in the deep pockets of the hotel bathrobe. “I don’t want to go back to that life.”

He had set down the hairbrush they shared, slipping his hands into the pockets, pulling her close against him. “I know. But you can’t have that door hanging open, Claire. Whether you open it or close it, you know I support you. But you’re not doing yourself any favors by not knowing.”

She had nodded, and pursed her lips. Smiling just a little as he kissed the shell of her ear.

She blinked, and turned back to the typewriter.

I have been traveling for the past few weeks, and won’t be back to Boston for at least the next month. Although I may not be immediately reachable by mail or telephone, I’m enclosing the contact information for someone who can get any letter or other message to me.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Dr. Claire Beauchamp

She gently pulled the paper from the typewriter roll. Signed her name. Took a deep breath. Began to address the envelope.

[jerzwriter]

This series tells the story of how Tobias and Casey's second child, Brooke Vivian Carrick, came to be. In this second installment, Tobias and Casey let a couple of their friends in on their plans just before they celebrate a memorable Valentine's Day.

Book: Open Heart (Post Series) Pairing: Tobias x Casey Carrick (F!MC) Characters: Sienna Trinh, Jackie Varma, Vivian Carrick (F!OC) Rating: Teen Words: 1,600 Summary: See above. A/N: This little series will be a few (?) short stories leading up to Brooke Carrick's birth on August 30th.

Sienna burst into the Diagnostic Team’s office, still shivering from commuting to work during a brutal Boston winter. “That’s it,” she said. “I’m applying for a job at UCLA Medical Center. I cannot do another winter here.”

Casey glanced up from her laptop, a sly grin spreading on her face. “Oh no, you’re not. Sure, the winters are tough, but you know what Boston has?” She gestured between herself and Jackie, who had also stopped by. “Us. Boston has us. You're not going to find friends like us in L.A.”

Sienna sighed as she took off her coat, stretching her back. “You’re right. I know, you’re right.”

“No, she’s not!” Jackie retorted. “You and I can go to L.A., and we’ll see Casey twice a year for girls’ weekends. Problem solved. We’d be fine.”

“Gee! Thanks, Jackie,” Casey replied. “I can just feel the love.”

“Speaking of girls’ weekends,” Sienna continued. “Should we book Smith Rock for March? I’d love to get out there before tourist season begins.”

Casey scrunched her nose. “For someone complaining about the cold, I don’t think you’d enjoy rock climbing and kayaking in Oregon in March.”

“I don’t think I would, either,” Jackie agreed.

At that moment, Tobias sauntered into the room, and Casey smiled tenderly when he placed a kiss atop her head.

“What’s this about rock climbing and kayaking?” he asked.

“Girls’ weekend,” Casey replied. “Though I Sienna might be rock climbing solo if Aurora can't make it. But I’m down for kayaking.”

Tobias sat next to his wife and gave her a knowing look as he bit into an apple. “Maybe hold off on that.”

Jackie’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow! Casey, tell me you’re not turning into one of those wives who lets her husband tell her what to do! Are you?”

“Of course not!” Casey retorted. “The only place he's allowed to boss me around is in bed."

Tobias chuckled contently as Sienna and Jackie gagged.

“Ignore us,” Casey laughed. “Mr. Eternal Optimist here thinks he has super sperm or something.”

“Uh, before I run out of here and lose my breakfast... what?” Jackie cringed.  

Casey glanced at Tobias, who gave her a nod.

“We’re trying for another baby,” Casey beamed.

“Oh my God, Casey!” Sienna exclaimed, running over to hug her friend. “That’s amazing news.”

Jackie, still seated, looked puzzled. “Uh, but didn’t you just have one?”

“Jackie! Samantha was born nearly two years ago. Besides, it takes the average person six months to conceive, so based on my calculations, I’ll be pregnant by June. Our new baby would be born next spring when Sammy is three, it’s perfect! And I can go on the girl’s trip in March, to boot!”

“Only one flaw in that plan, sweetheart,” Tobias chimed in. “I’m not average. You’re not average. We’re not average. Our little bambina will be on board much sooner than that.”

Casey rolled her eyes. “You still leaving, Jackie? I might join you!”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Tobias smirked, sliding his arm around his wife. “In fact, I think we should get some practice in right here.”

Sienna grabbed Jackie’s hand, pulling her toward the door. “Aaaand on that note, we’re out!”

As the women left, Tobias pulled Casey close. “Told you I could get rid of them,” he murmured with a playful growl.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Maybe,” he said, tapping her nose with his finger. “But you love me.”

“I do.”

~~~~

Valentine’s Day, 2025

Already dressed for their date, Casey wobbled toward their bed as she slipped on her diamond stud earrings. She took a deep breath. Tobias had been looking forward to this evening for weeks. Valentine’s Day was his thing; he loved turning up the romance, and he was so proud of himself for getting a reservation at Mistral. She didn’t have the heart to tell him she couldn’t go.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, and her mother-in-law, Vivian, stepped inside. She was babysitting Sammy tonight, and her granddaughter needed her elephant plushie, which had been left on Tobias and Casey’s bed. But one look at Casey and concern spread on Vivian’s face.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” she asked. “You look absolutely peaked.”

Casey glanced up sadly. “I feel awful, Vivian. I think I caught that stomach bug Tobias had last week.”

“Oh my!” Vivian replied. “Then you need to tell Tobias and stay home to get some rest! I’ll stay and watch Samantha; this way, at least you two can spend the night alone.”

“With Tobias taking care of me? Hell of a romantic Valentine’s Day,” Casey groaned.

“Well, the fortunate part is that you two just brim with romance every day of the year. You don’t need a Hallmark holiday to celebrate that.”

“You’re right,” Casey said with a wan smile. “Can you send Tobias up?”

Moments later, Tobias burst through the bedroom door, worry etched on his face. “Baby, what’s going on?” He asked, placing a hand on her forehead.

“I think I caught the stomach bug you had last week.”

“Yeah, but I was burning up, and you don’t seem to have a fever. Did you eat anything that might disagree with you?”

“Eat?” Casey chuckled weakly. “I've barely eaten. My stomach has been off for days.”

Tobias paused, a realization dawning in his eyes. “Casey, are you… late?”

“Late?” she repeated, almost stunned by the question. She mumbled to herself, counting on her fingers. “I haven’t been keeping track as well as normal with everything going on, but if I am, it’s only by a few days.”

Tobias’s eyebrows lifted.  

“No!” Casey insisted. “It’s entirely too soon! That’s impossible.”

“Casey. Baby girl, let’s go back in time,” he teased. “Pretend you’re in college; no, let’s go all the way back to high school. High school biology class.” He stood up and cleared his throat. “All right, Miss MacTavish, I assume you read chapter 2. So, can you tell the class how babies are made?”

“Tobias,” she laughed with a shake of her head.

“Excuse me? That’s Mr. Carrick to you, young lady. Now, unless you want to admit that you didn't do your homework, tell the class how babies are made.”

“Babies are made through unprotected sex, Mr. Carrick,” she giggled.

“OK, I'm gonna switch back to husband mode now, or this is gonna get real weird real fast,” he smirked. “Now, about how many times do we have unprotected sex per week?”

“Five to seven times more than the average American couple,” she sighed. “Depending on the study, of course.”

Tobias grinned at her silently, then finally said, “I’ll go buy a test.”

“But our dinner plans,” she protested.

“Do you really want to eat, baby?”

She looked at him, her complexion turning green just thinking about being in a crowded restaurant surrounded by the smell of food. “You’re right. Go buy a test.”

“Buy two,” she called after him as he reached the door. “Maybe three. I like to be sure.”

He turned back and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight and kissing her forehead. “This could be it,” he smiled. “This could really be it.”

“Well, if it is, I won’t feel guilty about being too tired to shop for a Valentine’s Day gift for you this week.”

Tobias handed her a nightgown with a smile. “Get changed and get under the covers. I’ll tell Ma I’m running out to get you medicine. We don’t need her to know what’s happening just yet. I’ll be right back.”

~~~~~

Tobias and Casey locked the door to their en suite bathroom. Tobias opened the first box and handed the plastic test trip to Casey.

“OK, time to pee on this,” he instructed with a grin.

Casey stifled a laugh. “If you’d told me we’d be celebrating Valentine’s Day with you ordering me to pee on something, I would’ve thought you had a new kink... not this.”

“Good point,” he chuckled. “But let’s get to it, and I’ll set the timer.”

They sat on the bed, hands clasped as they waited. “This feels so different from the first time I took a pregnancy test,” Casey mused. “I was all alone and so scared. I didn’t know how you’d react, and I was barely an attending... I couldn’t imagine it all working out.”  

“And look at us now,” Tobias said, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Do you think we’re ready for this?” she asked. “Two children, two demanding careers....”

“We are,” he nodded confidently. “Honey, don’t you know by now? There’s nothing we can’t handle together.”

They shared a tender kiss, disappointed when it was interrupted by the timer.  

“Oh boy,” Casey sighed. “Ready for this?”

“Very much so!”

They walked into the bathroom and picked up the first test. Tobias pumped his fist and whispered, “Yes!” while Casey let out a squeal.

“OK, OK, OK,” Casey cautioned, trying to keep her excitement in check. “Let’s check the others... that’s just one test.”

They checked tests number two and three, which had the same results. Casey turned to Tobias, simply beaming. “Looks like you’re going to be a daddy again! And not in the kinky way we roleplay every other weekend.”

Tobias lifted her in his arms, chucking as he spun her around. “Do I tell you enough how much I love you? How perfect you are for me?”

“You do,” she smiled. “But considering I’m about to grow another baby for you, you can tell me again... every day of this pregnancy... and beyond.”

He kissed her again, only for her to pull back suddenly as a wave of nausea hit. Tobias sat by her side, lovingly rubbing her back. When she finally sat up, her hair was a mess, and her face looked tired, but she still managed a weak smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” Tobias said, his eyes full of admiration.

Casey let out a chuckle. “This isn’t my best look.”

“Oh, yes, it is,” he said, holding her close. “We’re going to have another baby!”

“Yes, we are,” she grinned. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love!”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Teddy Bear Day 

The teddy bear is one of the most popular toys for children, and holds a special place in many adults hearts, too. This lovable stuffed animal has a day all of its own, Teddy Bear Day. It gives a chance for people to get teddy out of the cupboard and make him the center of attention.

It’s an ideal time to get together with others for a teddy bear’s favorite activity, having a picnic, as immortalized in the classic song, ‘Teddy Bear’s Picnic.’ This was written in 1907, shortly after teddy bears were first manufactured in Europe and America. The American toy bears were named Teddy, in honor of President Theodore Roosevelt, who had refused to shoot a small captured bear on a hunting trip. Many teddy bears have become famous over the years, including Paddington Bear, Rupert Bear, Pudsey Bear and, of course, Winnie the Pooh.

Learn about Teddy Bear Day

In a world where everyone seems to be larger and louder than yourself, it is very comforting to have a small, quiet companion

Teddy Bear Day has been created so that we have a specific date whereby we can pay tribute to one of our favorite childhood toys. Most people reading this will have fond memories of playing with a teddy bear when we were younger. In fact, some of you reading this may even have your favorite childhood teddy bear today. It may be tattered and even missing an eye or some stuffing, but it will be the most precious teddy bear in the world to you!

On this date, we pay tribute to this amazing childhood toy, which has stood the test of time. It does not matter what new crazes or toys come onto the market, they will never surpass the global popularity that the teddy bear has attained. With every decade that passes by, we still see children clutching onto their teddy bears, and it is a beautiful sight to behold.

This is because our teddy bear is usually the first friend that we have. It is the first ‘person’ that we share all of our thoughts and experiences with. We even cuddle our teddy bear when we go to sleep at night because it provides us with comfort. It is only right that we take a day to reflect on just how amazing teddy bears are, right?

History of Teddy Bear Day

It’s too bad we’re not all teddy bears. More stuffing would only make us cuter and cuddlier.

To understand the history of Teddy Bear Day, we need to roll back the clock to something that happened more than 100 years ago. In 1902, Theodore Rossevelt was the President of the United States. During this year, he refused to shoot a bear cub while he was in Mississippi hunting. The incident spread around the country via the national news. There was even a cartoon of the event that was published in the Washington Post by Clifford Berryman on the 16th of November in 1902. It became a classic right away.

Morris Michtom, a store owner in New York, was inspired by the cartoon and he decided to create a new toy. He then sent a letter to the President, asking Mr. Roosevelt if it would be possible for the new toy to be called “Teddy Bear.” The rest, as they say, was history.

Since then, there have been a lot of famous teddy bear characters, and this toy has become loved by children all over the world. No matter their upbringing, culture, or any other differences, one thing that all children can agree with is that there is nothing quite like the comfort and friendship that a teddy bear provides.

We have since seen the famous teddy bears from Briton, like Paddington and Winnie-the-Pooh. You also have the famous Care Bears series. In the United States, Radar, a teddy Bear from Sesame Street that belonged to Big Bird, hit the screens. Of course, Garfield, a lasagna-loving cat was also a big hit in the United States, and consequently around the world. Plus, we can’t forget Fozzie Bear from the Muppets either!

Our love affair with teddy bears has not ended. You only need to look at the new releases on TV and at the cinema to see that new teddy bear characters are being invented all of the time. In recent years, we have seen the Ted films become exceptionally popular. While aimed at adults rather than children, these films are still based on the premise of teddy bears being a best friend. Ted may be funny, but he is lovable, as all teddy bears are. If you have never seen the film, which stars Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg, we would definitely recommend watching it on Teddy Bear Day if you want to have a good old laugh!

How to celebrate Teddy Bear Day

There are a lot of different ways that you can celebrate Teddy Bear Day. One option is to dig up your favorite childhood teddy bear and take some photos of it. Share the images on social media and encourage your friends, family members, and followers to share images of their favorite teddy bear from when they were a child. Even if people do not have any photos of their bear, they will enjoy sharing stories of how they used to take their teddy bear everywhere with them.

Another fun way to spend this day is to go out and buy yourself a new teddy bear. Even as an adult, there is something cute and comforting about having a teddy bear in your home. As time has gone on, there have been a number of different companies that have popped up that enable you to purchase your own teddy bear.

You are able to choose the different fur and other unique characteristics that really make your teddy bear your own. If you have children, this is definitely a fun way to spend the day, but it is also fun and exciting even if you do not have any kids. After all, who does not love the idea of building their own teddy bear? If you are a particularly crafty person, you could even make your own teddy bear from scratch.

There are lots of different instructions online that enable you to do this, and it will be a fun way to spend the day. Plus, there is something amazing about having a teddy bear that you have made from scratch. It makes it feel even more like a real friend and companion. It is your own, and no one else in the world is going to have the same teddy bear as you. That is pretty amazing! Make sure that you share photos of your creation across social media if you’re the sort of person that uses Instagram and such like. We bet all of your followers will be super impressed!

Source

[mariacallous]

Content warning: This story includes references to death by suicide.

Evan Hansen was born to play football. A strong, rambunctious kid, he started playing sports year-round as early as he could. “He was very selfless, always willing to sacrifice himself for the betterment of the team,” says his father, Chuck Hansen. As a fearless linebacker at Wabash College in Indiana, the young player made 209 tackles in his first three seasons, and was hit far more than that during games and practices. Two days after winning the second game of his senior year, Evan died by suicide.

Searching for an explanation, Chuck Hansen pored through his son’s internet search history. One query popped out: “CTE.”

CTE stands for chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a neurodegenerative brain disease that causes symptoms like memory loss, depression, and emotional dysregulation. Since 2005, it has been linked to head trauma and to contact sports like football, where brains can get knocked around during tackles and collisions. In 2016, the National Football League acknowledged that the sport was linked to CTE after many retired players were diagnosed posthumously by researchers at the Boston University CTE Center.

Given the NFL-centered media coverage throughout the mid-aughts, “people have this impression that CTE is a disease of former NFL players,” says Julie Stamm, a clinical assistant professor of kinesiology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “But it’s not just a disease for professional athletes.”

Yet until recently, few studies focused on athletes like Evan, who never played professionally and died before developing age-related brain changes. (In older players, it can be challenging to separate signs of CTE from other kinds of neurodegeneration.) The Hansen family knew that Evan had only been diagnosed with one concussion in his 14 years of football—none since starting college. And although they knew that he’d had trouble doing schoolwork and experienced a bout of depression his junior year, his mental health seemed to have stabilized with therapy and medication.

While Evan’s search history suggests he suspected that these issues were signs of CTE, the disease can’t be diagnosed without examining the brain posthumously. So, like many other families seeking answers for unexplained changes in their loved ones’ behavior, the Hansens donated Evan’s brain to the Understanding Neurologic Injury and Traumatic Encephalopathy (UNITE) Brain Bank, run by the Boston University CTE Center.

Ann McKee, the center’s director, chose 152 of them to study. All were contact sports athletes who died under the age of 30, many by suicide or unintentional drug overdose. And as McKee’s team reported in August in JAMA Neurology, 41 percent of them already had CTE. One of them was Evan. Like him, of those diagnosed, most had only played sports at a high school or college level.

This study reveals that young, amateur athletes aren’t spared from the brain damage that comes with contact sports, even if they quit before going pro. And studying early-stage CTE in young, otherwise healthy brains, McKee says, “may give us clues as to how the disease is triggered.” To her, the takeaway is clear: “We need to reduce the number and the strength of head impacts in contact sports. If we don’t, we’re going to face consequences like this.”

McKee, who is also the director of neuropathology for Veterans Affairs Boston, began studying the brains of former NFL players 15 years ago. She couldn’t believe what she saw: big lesions in the crevices of the brain, dotted with abnormal protein clusters. A huge Packers fan, McKee has watched a lot of football games. But, she recalls, until then, “it never occurred to me that they were damaging their brains, because you don’t see it on the field. They’ve got the helmets. They look invincible.”

Researchers now know more about what is happening to the brain beneath the helmet. The jostling of the brain tugs at neural tissue, placing cells and blood vessels under stress. Tau proteins, which stabilize the scaffolding that gives neurons their structure, fall off when a cell is stressed. These fallen proteins pile up inside the cell, “a sort of toxic clump,” as McKee describes it. Eventually, the pileup overwhelms and kills the cell, leaving neurofibrillary tangles, which appear as ominous dark smears under a microscope. These tangles, which also appear in Alzheimer’s disease, make it harder for neurons to communicate with each other, causing memory problems.

Meanwhile, injured blood vessels compromise the sacred blood-brain barrier that normally protects sensitive neural tissue from irritating molecules flowing through the rest of the body. The resulting irritation causes inflammation, which induces more tau clumping, initiating a downward spiral of neurodegeneration.

To screen the donated young athletes’ brains for CTE, the researchers looked for tau, as well as signs of larger-scale problems like inflammation, hardening or deterioration of blood vessels, and changes to white matter, which contains the connections between neurons. They also interviewed the donors’ loved ones to learn more about their behavior and cognitive symptoms while they were alive. All of them had experienced issues like memory loss, depression, and impulsive behavior.

Of the 152 brains examined, 63 were posthumously diagnosed with CTE. The vast majority were still in early stages of neurodegeneration, but three of them—one belonging to a former NFL player, one to a college football player, and one to a professional rugby player—had reached the third of CTE’s four stages. Notably, another brain with CTE belonged to a 28-year-old women’s collegiate soccer player—the first case of its kind.

The youth of these players also allowed the research team to rule out aging as the cause of the damage. Aging, as well as high blood pressure, cardiac disease, and other neurodegenerative problems, can all damage brain tissue. But in the sample used for the new study, all of the athletes died between the ages of 13 and 29. “These are pristine, beautiful brains,” McKee says.

The fact that so many of the donors’ families had noticed mood and memory changes—regardless of whether their child was ultimately diagnosed with CTE—might be an artifact of the study’s sample pool. Families were simply more likely to donate to the brain bank if they had noticed unusual behavior in their child. But McKee says this also suggests that some of the symptoms experienced by these young athletes are not always caused by CTE, but may still reflect the aftermath of head trauma. Chris Nowinski, a study coauthor and CEO of the nonprofit Concussion Legacy Foundation, remembers struggling with chronic symptoms after the concussion that ended his pro wrestling career in his twenties. In cases like his, concussion-related problems like sleep impairments, or the difficulties of coming to terms with life as an injured or retired athlete, are likely the root cause of the mental health issues—not necessarily tau pathology.

The new study’s results build upon a mountain of evidence connecting contact sports to CTE. One 2017 study of 202 deceased football players found that 87 percent had CTE, including 110 of the 111 brains belonging to retired NFL players. Other studies revealed that CTE is more prevalent in athletes than non-athletes, and is specifically tied to experience playing contact sports, not one-off traumatic brain injuries. Ongoing studies are developing ways to diagnose CTE while people are alive, in the hopes of finding ways to intervene while the disease is still in its earliest stages.

A common misconception is that a one-time impact can lead to neurodegeneration. The real problem is getting hit in the head over and over, for years and years. “A tennis player who had five concussions is not going to get CTE,” says Nowinski. “There’s something about getting hundreds or thousands of head impacts a year. That’s what triggers it, whether you have concussion symptoms or not.”

Like many kids in the United States, Evan Hansen started playing tackle football in third grade. “He was in his 14th year of football, a senior in college, when he died,” says his dad. The number of years he played, and the age he was when he started facing regular blows to the head, likely contributed to developing CTE, according to McKee’s findings. When he signed his son up for football, Hansen recalls, “It was just pure ignorance. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”

While his son’s diagnosis wasn’t made until after his death, Chuck Hansen suspects that Evan’s fear of the disorder, and what it meant for his future, weighed on him heavily. “I believe that he thought he had CTE, and had never talked about it,” Hansen says. “Maybe he thought it was a terminal thing that would only get worse, and that there was no hope.”

While there is no medical treatment for CTE yet, McKee and Nowinski recommend that young athletes focus on seeking treatment for individual mental health symptoms, like insomnia or depression. The Concussion Legacy Foundation runs a HelpLine for those who are struggling with post-concussion symptoms, or who are worried about CTE. The Hansen family also started a foundation to promote mental health awareness and CTE research, and to fund scholarships for medical students.

But CTE is preventable. Small changes to practice drills and gameplay could make a huge difference for young athletes, says Nowinski. The playbook for prevention is simple: Reduce the number of hits to the head, and reduce the strength of those hits. Most happen during practice, so by reducing the number of drills involving head impacts and choosing ones that are less likely to cause high-magnitude blows, coaches can spare their players unnecessary danger. “You can’t get rid of CTE in tackling sports,” adds Nowinski, “but you can get rid of most cases of CTE.”

Reducing the length of each game and the number of games per season can minimize the likelihood of head injuries, and banning brain-jostling events, like fighting in hockey or heading in soccer, can make games safer, he continues. Perhaps most importantly, youth sports leagues can raise the age at which kids are first exposed to preventable head impacts. “With tackle football before 14, the risks are not worth the benefits,” Nowinski says. “You don’t become a better football player from playing young.” In one case study reported by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, transitioning from tackle to flag football would reduce a young athlete’s median number of head impacts per season from 378 to eight.

But, Nowinski points out, there is no central governing body in charge of youth sports leagues, leaving it largely up to individual coaches to make changes to their practice drills and recruitment strategies. “The opportunity is right in front of our faces,” says Nowinski. “I remember being told how much football makes you a leader. But right now, on this issue, there’s a black hole of leadership.”

McKee doesn’t think that parents should take their kids out of sports—far from it. “We just need to change the rules and our thinking about these games, so that CTE isn’t a consequence of playing contact sports,” McKee says.

And for young athletes concerned about CTE, she urges them to seek help for mental health symptoms, build personal support systems, and keep moving forward with their lives. “Individuals like Evan need to be seen, because in all likelihood, we can treat their symptoms and help them feel less hopeless,” she says. “It’s not a time to despair. It’s a time to come in, be evaluated, and be treated.”

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for free, 24-hour support from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line. Outside the US, visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for crisis centers around the world.

[she-is-ovarit]

Detransitioner news

I have been thinking about detransitioners lately and wanted to compile articles I have been seeing. This will be a longer post and reblogged for part II as I hope to copy and paste brief portions of the articles under each headline.

Law firm for detransitioners opens in Dallas

In all of the controversy around gender transition, there is one group that is persistently marginalized by both the right and left. They are known as detransitioners — people who decide that they want to return to their birth gender, often after receiving years of interventional care, including surgery, to treat their gender dysphoria. Now, the nation’s first law firm focused solely on representing these patients — many of whom feel abused by a medical system that encouraged their treatment — has opened its doors in Dallas. It could forever change how hospitals and doctors approach what’s known as gender-affirming care.

Archive link

Fenway Community Health Center in Boston, the largest provider of transgender medicine in New England and one of the leading institutions of its kind in the United States, was named a defendant in a lawsuit filed last month. The plaintiff, a gay man who goes by the alias Shape Shifter, argues that by approving him for hormones and surgeries, Fenway Health subjected him to “gay conversion” practices, in violation of his civil rights. Carlan v. Fenway Community Health Center is the first lawsuit in the United States to argue that “gender-affirming care” can be a form of anti-gay discrimination. The case underscores an important clinical reality: gender dysphoria has multiple developmental pathways, and many who experience it will turn out to be gay. Even the Endocrine Society concedes that many of the youth who outgrow their dysphoria by adolescence later identify as gay or bisexual. Decades of research confirm as much. Gender clinicians in the U.K. used to have a “dark joke . . . that there would be no gay people left at the rate [the Gender Identity Development Service] was going,” former BBC journalist Hannah Barnes reported. Rather than help young gay people to accept their bodies and their sexuality, what if “gender-affirming” clinicians are putting them on a pathway to irreversible harm?

Due partly to Shape’s lifelong difficulty in accepting himself as gay, his lawyers are not taking the usual approach to detransition litigation. Rather than state a straightforward claim of medical malpractice or fraud, they allege that Fenway Health has violated Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), which bans discrimination “on the basis of sex” in health care. In 2020, the Supreme Court ruled in Bostock v. Clayton County that “discrimination because of . . . sex” includes discrimination based on homosexuality. Citing this and other precedents, Shape’s lawyers argue that federal law affords distinct protections to gay men and lesbians—upon which clinics that operate with a transgender bias are trampling. Shape grew up in a Muslim country in Eastern Europe that he describes in an interview as “very traditional” and “homophobic.” His parents disapproved of his effeminate demeanor and interests as a child. They wouldn’t let him play with dolls, and his mother, he says, made him do stretches so that he would grow taller and appear more masculine. At 11, Shape had his first of several sexual encounters with older men. “I was definitely groomed,” he recounts. Shape proceeded to develop a pattern of risky sexual behavior, according to his legal complaint. He told his medical team at Fenway Health about his childhood sexual experiences, calling them “consensual.” The Fenway providers never challenged him on this interpretation, he alleges. They never suggested that he might have experienced sexual trauma or, say, explored how these events might have shaped his feelings of dissociation. (The irony is that Fenway Health describes its model of care as “trauma-informed.”)

Archive link

Ontario detransitioner who had breasts and womb removed sues doctors

An Ontario detransitioning woman who had her breasts and womb removed to change her gender to male is suing medical and health practitioners for failing to consider other treatments during her mental health crisis before ushering her on an irreversible journey she regrets. Michelle Zacchigna, 34, of Orillia, Ont., north of Toronto, names eight health professionals, including doctors, psychologists, a psychotherapist and a counsellor in a lawsuit filed in Ottawa. None of the defendants, who work or worked at various clinics and institutions in southern Ontario, responded to requests for comment on the lawsuit prior to deadline. Four of the defendants have filed notices of intent to defend against the suit in Ontario Superior Court, but no statements of defense have been filed. None of the claims have been tested in court. Zacchigna said she faces an uphill battle in her lawsuit. “I’ve been under the impression that all medical malpractice suits are challenging. Doctors win the majority of cases in Canada,” she told National Post. “It’s very much a David vs. Goliath undertaking.” In her statement of claim filed in court in November, Zacchigna says she had difficulty forming relationships with classmates in elementary school and was often bullied. By the time she was 11, she engaged in self-harming behaviour, including cutting her arm with a knife. This continued into early adulthood. When she was 20, she tried to kill herself and she was referred by her family doctor for psychotherapy, where she was treated for social anxiety and clinical depression. She remained unhappy and depressed, and her mental health decline led to her dropping out of university, according to her claim. About a year into therapy, she engaged with an online community around gender nonconformity. “Michelle came to believe that her biological sex of female did not match her true gender identity of male,” her claim says. “She further came to believe that this mismatch between her biological sex and gender identity was causing her feelings of depression, self-harming behaviour and unease in her body, a mental health condition commonly known as gender dysphoria,” her claim states. This was the first time Zacchigna felt she was born in the wrong body, and she had not previously identified as male, her claim says. “However, as a result of what she read on the internet, she became convinced that she was a transgender man, and that once she embraced this new identity, her depression would subside.” Zacchigna started attending a support group in Toronto for people considering gender transition. A counsellor there told her of opportunities to proceed through a medical transition, her claim says. Zacchigna was invited to apply for medical intervention in 2010. The counsellor wrote a recommendation letter outlining a medical history that didn’t fully match her real past, the claim says. The counsellor didn’t recommend any alternatives, or seek confirmation of Zacchigna’s own diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Her regular therapist also wrote a recommendation for transition treatment, saying Zacchigna was an “ideal candidate for hormone therapy,” even though the therapist had no previous transgender clients, according to the claim.

Part II incoming.

[perfectlyripeclementine]

queer novel masterlist: Palestine edition

Found this list via @evereadssapphic on Instagram.

You Exist Too Much, Zaina Arafat

On a hot day in Bethlehem, a 12-year-old Palestinian-American girl is yelled at by a group of men outside the Church of the Nativity. She has exposed her legs in a biblical city, an act they deem forbidden, and their judgement will echo on through her adolescence. When our narrator finally admits to her mother that she is queer, her mother's response only intensifies a sense of shame: "You exist too much," she tells her daughter.

Told in vignettes that flash between the U.S. and the Middle East--from New York to Jordan, Lebanon, and Palestine--Zaina Arafat's debut novel traces her protagonist's progress from blushing teen to sought-after DJ and aspiring writer. In Brooklyn, she moves into an apartment with her first serious girlfriend and tries to content herself with their comfortable relationship. But soon her longings, so closely hidden during her teenage years, explode out into reckless romantic encounters and obsessions with other people. Her desire to thwart her own destructive impulses will eventually lead her to The Ledge, an unconventional treatment center that identifies her affliction as "love addiction." In this strange, enclosed society she will start to consider the unnerving similarities between her own internal traumas and divisions and those of the places that have formed her.

Opening up the fantasies and desires of one young woman caught between cultural, religious, and sexual identities, You Exist Too Much is a captivating story charting two of our most intense longings--for love, and a place to call home.

Haifa Fragments, Khulud Khamis

As a designer of jewelry, Maisoon wants an ordinary extraordinary life, which isn't easy for a tradition-defying activist and Palestinian citizen of Israel who refuses to be crushed by the feeling that she is an unwelcome guest in the land of her ancestors. She volunteers for the Machsom Watch, an organization that helps children in the Occupied Territories cross the border to receive medical care. Frustrated by her boyfriend Ziyad and her father, who both want her to get on with life and forget those in the Occupied Territories, she lashes out only to discover her father isn't the man she thought he was. Raised a Christian, in a relationship with a Muslim man and enamored with a Palestinian woman from the Occupied Territories, Maisoon must decide her own path.

A Map Of Home, Randa Jarrar

In this fresh, funny, and fearless debut novel, Randa Jarrar chronicles the coming-of-age of Nidali, one of the most unique and irrepressible narrators in contemporary fiction. Born in 1970s Boston to an Egyptian-Greek mother and a Palestinian father, the rebellious Nidali--whose name is a feminization of the word "struggle"--soon moves to a very different life in Kuwait. There the family leads a mildly eccentric middle-class existence until the Iraqi invasion drives them first to Egypt and then to Texas. This critically acclaimed debut novel is set to capture the hearts of everyone who has ever wondered what their own map of home might look like.

The Skin And Its Girl, Sarah Cypher

In a Pacific Northwest hospital far from the Rummani family's ancestral home in Palestine, the heart of a stillborn baby begins to beat and her skin turns vibrantly, permanently cobalt blue. On the same day, the Rummanis' centuries-old soap factory in Nablus is destroyed in an air strike. The family matriarch and keeper of their lore, Aunt Nuha, believes that the blue girl embodies their sacred history, harkening back to a time when the Rummanis were among the wealthiest soap-makers and their blue soap was a symbol of a legendary love.

Decades later, Betty returns to Aunt Nuha's gravestone, faced with a difficult decision: Should she stay in the only country she's ever known, or should she follow her heart and the woman she loves, perpetuating her family's cycle of exile? Betty finds her answer in partially translated notebooks that reveal her aunt's complex life and struggle with her own sexuality, which Nuha hid to help the family immigrate to the United States. But, as Betty soon discovers, her aunt hid much more than that.The Skin and Its Girl is a searing, poetic tale about desire and identity, and a provocative exploration of how we let stories divide, unite, and define us--and wield even the power to restore a broken family. Sarah Cypher is that rare debut novelist who writes with the mastery and flair of a seasoned storyteller.

The Philistine, Leila Marshy

Nadia Eid doesn't know it yet, but she's about to change her life. It's the end of the ‘80s and she hasn’t seen her Palestinian father since he left Montreal years ago to take a job in Egypt, promising to bring her with him. But now she’s twenty-five and he’s missing in action, so she takes matters into her own hands. Booking a short vacation from her boring job and Québecois boyfriend, she calls her father from the Nile Hilton in downtown Cairo. But nothing goes as planned and, stumbling around, Nadia wanders into an art gallery where she meets Manal, a young Egyptian artist who becomes first her guide and then her lover. 

Through this unexpected relationship, Nadia rediscovers her roots, her language, and her ambitions, as her father demonstrates the unavoidable destiny of becoming a Philistine – the Arabic word for Palestinian. With Manal’s career poised to take off and her father’s secret life revealed, the First Intifada erupts across the border.

The Twenty-Ninth Year, Hala Alyan

For Hala Alyan, twenty-nine is a year of transformation and upheaval, a year in which the past--memories of family members, old friends and past lovers, the heat of another land, another language, a different faith--winds itself around the present.

Hala's ever-shifting, subversive verse sifts together and through different forms of forced displacement and the tolls they take on mind and body. Poems leap from war-torn cities in the Middle East, to an Oklahoma Olive Garden, a Brooklyn brownstone; from alcoholism to recovery; from a single woman to a wife. This collection summons breathtaking chaos, one that seeps into the bones of these odes, the shape of these elegies.

A vivid catalog of heartache, loneliness, love and joy, The Twenty-Ninth Year is an education in looking for home and self in the space between disparate identities.

Between Banat, Mejdulene Bernard Shomali

In Between Banat Mejdulene Bernard Shomali examines homoeroticism and nonnormative sexualities between Arab women in transnational Arab literature, art, and film. Moving from The Thousand and One Nights and the Golden Era of Egyptian cinema to contemporary novels, autobiographical writing, and prints and graphic novels that imagine queer Arab futures, Shomali uses what she calls queer Arab critique to locate queer desire amid heteronormative imperatives. Showing how systems of heteropatriarchy and Arab nationalisms foreclose queer Arab women's futures, she draws on the transliterated term "banat"--the Arabic word for girls--to refer to women, femmes, and nonbinary people who disrupt stereotypical and Orientalist representations of the "Arab woman." By attending to Arab women's narration of desire and identity, queer Arab critique substantiates queer Arab histories while challenging Orientalist and Arab national paradigms that erase queer subjects. In this way, Shomali frames queerness and Arabness as relational and transnational subject formations and contends that prioritizing transnational collectivity over politics of authenticity, respectability, and inclusion can help lead toward queer freedom.

Belladonna, Anbara Salam

Isabella is beautiful, inscrutable, and popular. Her best friend, Bridget, keeps quietly to the fringes of their Connecticut Catholic school, watching everything and everyone, but most especially Isabella.

In 1957, when the girls graduate, they land coveted spots at the Accademia di Belle Arti di Pentila in northern Italy, a prestigious art history school on the grounds of a silent convent. There, free of her claustrophobic home and the town that will always see her and her Egyptian mother as outsiders, Bridget discovers she can reinvent herself as anyone she desires... perhaps even someone Isabella could desire in return.

But as that glittering year goes on, Bridget begins to suspect Isabella is keeping a secret from her, one that will change the course of their lives forever. (I believe this book is by a Palestinian author but not actually set in or about Palestine.)

[beardedmrbean]

A man accused of firebombing an anti-abortion office in Wisconsin last year has agreed to plead guilty to a federal charge of damaging property with explosives.

Online court records show Hridindu Roychowdhury, of Madison, filed a signed plea agreement Monday in the Western District of Wisconsin. He will face up to 20 years in prison but prosecutors have agreed to recommend the judge reduce his sentence because he has accepted responsibility for the crime. A judge is set to consider whether to accept the agreement at a hearing on Dec. 1.

According to court documents, someone broke a window at the Madison office of Wisconsin Family Action on May 8, 2022, six days after news outlets reported that the U.S. Supreme Court was set to overturn Roe vs. Wade, the landmark 1973 decision that legalized abortion nationwide.

WISCONSIN MAN CHARGED WITH FIREBOMBING OFFICES OF PRO-LIFE GROUP

The reports sparked abortion rights supporters to mount protests across the country. Two Catholic churches in Colorado were vandalized in the days leading up to the Madison firebombing. And someone threw Molotov cocktails into an anti-abortion organization’s office in a suburb of Salem, Oregon, several days later.

The U.S. Supreme Court did indeed overturn Roe v. Wade a little more than a month later, putting Wisconsin's 1849 ban on abortion back in play. A Dane County judge this past August ruled that the state's ban doesn't apply to medical abortions, prompting Planned Parenthood to resume offering abortions in the state weeks later.

Someone threw two Molotov cocktails through the broken window, setting a book case on fire, and spraypainted "If abortions aren't safe then you aren't either" on the office's outside wall.

DNA FROM HALF-EATEN BURRITO TIES EX-WISCONSIN DOCTORAL STUDENT TO PRO-LIFE CENTER FIREBOMBING ATTACK

Firefighters extinguished the fire. Investigators pulled Roychowdhury's DNA as well as two other people's DNA from the Molotov cocktails and the broken window. DNA that investigators pulled from a half-eaten burrito that Roychowdhury threw away matched one of the profiles. Court documents do not say whether investigators have used the two unknown DNA profiles to identify anyone.

Police arrested Roychowdhury at Boston International Airport in March 2023. He had a one-way ticket to Guatemala, according to prosecutors.

Roychowdhury's attorneys, Joseph Bugni and Alex Vlisides, didn't immediately respond to an email Tuesday seeking comment.