#bonus points for the french name ! it happens to be my original language

[teka-chat]

Hello! If getting a regular reminder to brush and floss on your dash might be helpful, I've started a Tumblr for that. Find it @brosser-les-dents hope it might help you!

-brush your teeth OP

oh !

[imthepunchlord]

Oooof, Dodged a Beetle would be a great place to fix a BUNCH of things wrong with Kung Food, to be completely honest.

Like the last DaB anon said, there’s no Alya to call Adrien to help Marinette, so there’s no white boy teaching Marinette about her language and culture, especially since Sabine—Marinette’s mother and Cheng Sifu’s niece—is RIGHT. THERE. In Marinette's Instagram post, Sabine knows how to speak Chinese, and it would make sense for her to come to the contest anyway given that her husband is a baker and she lives in the food industry world, not to mention just spending time with her uncle and daughter together should interest her. With Sabine being another adult who actually knows how Chloe is from her daughter, she would probably stay behind to watch her uncle’s soup “just in case” when Chloe tries to get him away from it, foiling her plans and preventing Kung Food from ever occurring. And in terms of the judge panel, Clara Nightingale, Alim Kubdel, or even Tomoe Tsurugi could easily take Marlena’s place (and eventually Chloe’s empty spot) due to each being a notable person in Paris in one form or another. Hell, Chloe could even get herself in trouble due to being aggravated from not being able to sabotage the soup and refusing to try it for no good reason, saying something like “I don’t get why he couldn’t just make sushi”, which would get her kicked off for being ignorant on live television in an attempt to save face by the producers (bonus points if Tomoe is the one replacing Marlena and demands that the ignorant brat next to her is replaced with someone else). And Lila could bring up the cooking contest to Marinette the next school day to tie it back into the overall story, taking from canon that she does surface level research at least on what’s currently happening with famous people and adding to the plot that she’s starting to take note of Marinette’s talents and connections.

I just… still have so many gripes with how Kung Food was handled, and seeing how the PoC treatment in the show has plummeted since then only makes those feelings worse, even after all these years. And I apologize for venting about it since I know it was so long ago but, Chloe’s racism? Was completely swept under the rug?? By both the show and the writers??? As if her bigotry apparently being born more from pure ignorance than DIRECT malice according to an Astruc tweet is supposed to make any of the viewers—especially the viewers of color—feel any better about it???? Chloe NEEDS to get reprimanded for that SOMEHOW?????

Understandably so as Kung Food is just problematic.

There was no reason given why Sabine wasn't there to see her uncle, which the Shanghai special either confirmed or implied that he raised her. This seems to be an anticipated visit as Marinette was awaiting him, that means Sabine should know he's coming to. Yet there's nothing given on her absence.

Also Tikki has been around the world. She's been used by at least one other Chinese holder, surely she could've been a translator for Marinette or help her in some way. Just be like, "Hello! I'm Tikki! A translation toy!"

Between Sabine and Tikki, there's no reason for Adrien to be there to be translator. He could come in wanting to practice Chinese on his own.

And on Marinette not knowing much, Sabine could see it as a chance to expand her knowledge and connect her with her culture. Could also accept Tikki offering this knowledge as she has been all over and is an ancient mythical being who has worked closely with a wide variety of cultures.

And Chloe's racist comments, that either should've been cut out if they're not going to be addressed, I'm quite certain they were put in to just elaborate on how bad she is; or if there to elaborate on this, really address them. Instead of Adrien coming in as white savior, Wang could've come forth to correct Chloe on this as he knows some French.

And then there's the akuma itself. Yeah there's being based on Sun Wukong, but what does he have to do with food? And that design is more directly tied to Dragon Ball, which is a Japanese creation. And by the name, this implies an assumption that Cheng Wang knows kung fu as is a mixture of that and food, cause obviously every Chinese person knows martial arts.

Only thing about it that I like is the reveal that Marinette's not so connected with her heritage. And that's a very understandable set up. Most 13 yos aren't interested in learning their heritage when they live elsewhere. They may know a few words or traditions, but that's not a norm as that's not where they live. Marinette's going to be more in tune with her French heritage than Chinese as that's where she lives.

I can get that set up as when I was 13, my mom revealed to me that my biological father is French. I didn't have an interest then to learn French culture and connect to it.

And there are others I've talked to that felt how Marinette felt struggling to connect with her great uncle in the beginning, being very limited in terms of communication which had an effect on any sort of connection to make. Not that it needed to be like that as there's no given reason for Sabine to not be there or why couldn't Tikki help Marinette out when its canon confirmed that she originates from China and should know the language.

[kemetic-dreams]

In my research I learned that the word comes from tribus in Latin. Its earliest usage was in the time of the Roman empire where there were three original tribes, but more were added to organize the voting system.  At first, tribe may have been related to ethnicity, but as more were added, it became about geographical location, rather than kinship.   Tribe was a territorial voting unit in the Roman state. I've seen the word used to talk about Celtic and Germanic histories. It also became associated with the Hebrew people of the Torah and Bible. You must have heard of the 12 Tribes of Israel. The connotations evolved, and the problems with it began when it got into the hands of anthropologists. (Ironically, I have a degree in anthropology and I think it's a fascinating discipline; Good thing my favorite anthro professor back in my university days wisely recommended that we understand the controversies around the term.)

Truth be told, it offends many people. Here's why:

#1 For European missionaries and explorers who went out to conquer people, the word "tribal" was synonymous to "savage" and "primitive." It's mainstream connotation is rooted in colonial-era racist ideology. The word immediately conjures stereotypical imagery of brown people with bones in their noses or naked warriors running around in a rainforest

That “tribal” word

by

Chika Oduah

I cringe whenever I see that word in a news article. And I see it so often in journalese. Stories about developing countries often feature phrases like tribal healer, tribal land, tribal conflict, tribesmen, tribal chief, tribal wear, tribal name, tribal rhythm. The word is so problematic, I don't even know where to begin. I will suggest this - get some education on its history.

The Myth of the Noble Savage

The word plays into a historic imagination that classifies indigenous people outside of Europe into two categories of savages: the noble savage and the brutal savage. That leads me to number two.

The bottom-line problem with the idea of tribe is that it is intellectually lazy.

#2 Societies are constantly changing. No matter where you go, you're bound to see it. Technology, the spread of ideas, education, globalization, all of these elements contribute to sociocultural changes. But the word "tribal" freezes societies in a primordial past (real or imagined) where people wore animal skins and ran with wolves. I think it's hard for many people in the Western world to accept that societies in Africa (in other developing regions around the world) are dynamic. It's hard for some to grasp concepts of modernity in such places.   Even the most remote, far flung communities are not the same today as they were just 20 years ago.

The tribe, a long respected category of analysis in anthropology, has recently been the object of some scrutiny by anthropologists ... Doubts about the utility of the tribe as an analytical category have almost certainly arisen out of the rapid involvement of peoples, even in the remotest parts of the globe, in political, economic and sometimes direct social relationship with industrial nations. The doubts, however, are based ultimately on the definition and meaning which different scholars give to the term 'tribe', its adjective 'tribal', and its abstract form 'tribalism' ~ Dr. James Clyde Mitchell

Westerners have romanticized certain ethnic groups, like the Maasai in eastern Africa, because they have this romantic idea that the Maasai people are living the exact same way as their ancestors did. Untouched by modernity. But that's simply not true. And where does this desperate need to have ethnic groups permanently living in primordial or precolonial states come from? Is the "primitive," noble savage look more marketable for tourism? That leads me to number three.

#3 The relentless attempt to cast Africans are primitive, unchanging people relates to another popular notion that the past, when there was no internet, airplanes or sliced bread, was more peaceful, more pure and less complicated than modern times. The problem with that is that it pushes an identity (based on a misconstrued premise) on other people. It's someone from the West saying I want the kind of African who lives in a thatch-roofed hut in a village in Niamey, not the African who lives in a  brick home in a Harare suburb.  Africans are constantly being defined by the Western world, submitting to the names and descriptions put upon them. In my favorite work by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun, the character Odenigbo says, "But my point is that the only authentic identity for the African is the tribe...I am Nigerian because a white man created Nigeria and gave me that identity. I am black because the white man constructed black to be as different as possible from his white. But I was Igbo before the white man came.” (I'll talk about Africans using the word tribe further down!).

In the Americas, Africa, Australia, and elsewhere, colonial administrators applied these terms [tribe and band] to specific groups almost immediately upon contact. ~Encyclopedia Brittanica

#4 The word "tribal" distorts reality because it leads to misguided ideas of what is authentic and what is not. This is when a Westerner, looking at a picture of expensive cars parked at a chic hotel in Accra, says "this is not the real Africa." I hear the comment very often because there's this prevailing perception that the real Africa is "tribal." Its stick, bones, dirt and chiefs draped in leopard print. Anything outside of that, according to that line of thought, has been touched (contaminated, even) by the Western world, therefore is inauthentic. Again, it's that insistence on denying dynamism, that change happens. And that prerequisite applies to people, too. The African woman who graduated from Harvard Business School, works as a bank executive and wears Chanel suits is not a real African. The woman chopping firewood with a naked baby on her back is and gets bonus points for authenticity if the child has flies swarming around the face.

Over to You, Is the Word 'Tribe' Offensive? - BBC World Service

#4 For peoples who experienced oppression, suppression or marginalization from European colonizers or their descendants, the word "tribe" triggers memories of a traumatic past.  This is especially true of Native Americans, also called the First Nations. (I remember learning about the Trail of Tears in elementary school and feeling quite sad about it.)  Thousands of Native Americans were brutally uprooted from their ancestral lands when Europeans and their descendants decided to forcibly expand their presence in the Americas. Today, the U.S. government still officially uses the word "tribes" to refer to Native Americans, but I have read that they prefer to be called "nations" or "people."

#5 There's also this thing with numbers. British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, originator of the Dunbar's number theory, said that 500 - 1,500 people (who follow their ancestral culture, beliefs of unity, laws, and rights; are self-sufficient and have strong emotion towards their lands) can be classified as a one tribe. Those are pretty much the same numbers that other nineteenth century anthropologists used, defining a tribe as a human society made up of several bands. A band was a small, egalitarian, kin-based group of perhaps 10–50 people. So when you're looking at the large ethnic groups in Africa today, some numbering millions, they can't be described as tribes.

Tribe has no coherent meaning. What is a tribe? The Zulu in South Africa, whose name and common identity was forged by the creation of a powerful state less than two centuries ago, and who are a bigger group than French Canadians, are called a tribe. So are the !Kung hunter-gatherers of Botswana and Namibia, who number in the hundreds. The term is applied to Kenya's Maasai herders and Kikuyu farmers, and to members of these groups in cities and towns when they go there to live and work.

Tribe is used for millions of Yoruba in Nigeria and Benin, who share a language but have an eight-hundred year history of multiple and sometimes warring city-states, and of religious diversity even within the same extended families. Tribe is used for Hutu and Tutsi in the central African countries of Rwanda and Burundi. Yet the two societies (and regions within them) have different histories. And in each one, Hutu and Tutsi lived interspersed in the same territory. They spoke the same language, married each other, and shared virtually all aspects of culture. At no point in history could the distinction be defined by distinct territories, one of the key assumptions built into "tribe." ~Pambazuka News

Zambia is slightly larger than Texas. The country has approximately 10 million inhabitants and a rich cultural diversity. English is the official language, but Zambia also boasts 73 different indigenous languages. While there are many indigenous Zambian words that translate into "nation," "people," "clan," "language," "foreigner," "village" or "community," there are none that easily translate into "tribe." Sorting Zambians into a fixed number of "tribes" was a byproduct of British colonial rule over Northern Rhodesia (as Zambia was known prior to independence in 1964).

#6 In anthropological theories of social evolution, "tribe" is lower than "civilization." After studying early cultures in Central and South America, American neo-evolutionary cultural anthropologist Elman Rogers Service devised an influential categorization scheme for the political character of human social structures: band, tribe, chiefdom and state.

A band is the smallest unit of political organization, consisting of only a few families and no formal leadership positions. Tribes have larger populations but are organized around family ties and have fluid or shifting systems of temporary leadership. Chiefdoms are large political units in which the chief, who usually is determined by heredity, holds a formal position of power. States are the most complex form of political organization and are characterized by a central government that has a monopoly over legitimate uses of physical force, a sizeable bureaucracy, a system of formal laws, and a standing military force.

With this understanding, again, many of the large ethnic groups in Africa's modern nation states cannot be called tribes.

But... a lot of Africans use "tribe" to describe themselves. The word is taught in schools across African countries, because the secular educational system was largely created by Westerners. That's the basis of the ongoing  "decolonize education" campaign in South Africa. Check this out: When Africans learn English, they are often taught that "tribe" is the term that English-speakers will recognize. But what underlying meaning in their own languages are Africans translating when they say "tribe"? In English, writers often refer to the Zulu tribe, whereas in Zulu the word for the Zulu as a group is isizwe. Zulu linguists translate isizwe as "nation" or "people." Isizwe refers both to the multi-ethnic South African nation and to ethno-national peoples that form a part of the multi-ethnic nation. When Africans use the word "tribe" in general conversation, they do not draw on the negative connotations of primitivism the word has in Western countries.

But there has been a decades-long push by many African scholars and media professionals to get media outlets, textbooks and academia to stop using "tribe" and "tribal." Some have addressed their concerns to The New York Times, among other news publications.  Here's how Bill Keller, New York Times' Pulitzer Prize-winning executive editor from 2003 to 2011 responded:

"I get it. Anyone who uses the word "tribe" is a racist. [. . .] It's a tediously familiar mantra in the Western community of Africa scholars. In my experience, most Africans who live outside the comforts of academia (and who use the word "tribe" with shameless disregard for the political sensitivities of American academics) have more important concerns."

The logic here is, since the real Africans are using the word themselves, then what's the big deal? Well, for all the reasons I just presented and more. And recently we're seeing a wave of companies and organizations come out to announce that they will not longer use "tribe" and "tribal." The New York Times is now using "ethnic group" and "ethnic." (I have issues with ethnic. At a Walmart, I noticed that the aisle for hair products tailored to people of African descent was the "ethnic hair" aisle; that's literally what the sign said). These entities may have been motivated by political correctness or could be trying to save face. I don't know. I know that, what to do about the tribe/tribal word is a conversation that matters.

[maybeimamuppet]

I got you

surprise!! bonus chapter!! this is a thank you for 1.5k reads on this series on wattpad. featuring mostly janis being a cute mommy to the twins introduced in last week's fic.

tw for broken bones (popped joint, not actual break) and mentioned surgery.

enjoy!

-

one.

Janis is tidying her home studio while Leo is entertained with her toys in the next room. Cady took Layla out on a special one-on-one date for the day, so Janis gets Leo all to herself. They spent the morning in their pajamas playing with Leo’s favorite toys, and then napped together in the main bedroom, which Leo was thrilled with.

Janis does still have to work on a commission, unfortunately, but decides to set up a small easel and some kid paints so Leo can work too. She’s just finished squeezing out the last paint color when she hears tiny feet running down the hall, and what sounds like crying. She jumps slightly when Leo rockets into her leg in tears.

“Mommy,” Leo cries desperately, reaching to be held.

“Oh no, Bee, what happened?” Janis asks, assessing for any injuries as she picks her baby up. “Did you get hurt?” Leo shakes her head, making Janis breathe a quiet sigh of relief. She frowns as Leo throws herself at her, clinging to her neck and crying into her shoulder. “Shh, I got you. I got you. Tell Mommy what happened.”

“Mon’ter,” Leo whimpers in fright. Ah. A monster is anything that moves that Leo hasn’t seen before. Previous monsters have included her own shadow, the blender, Layla in the dark, and a small dog.

“A monster? Oh no,” Janis says. “That must’ve been scary. Shh, I got you. You’re okay. Come here.”

Leo squeaks in fright and clings to her tighter as they pass the playroom, but relaxes slightly when Janis carries them down the hall and to the living room. Janis sits on the couch and coaxes Leo off slightly, resting her baby on her knees so they can see each other.

“Can you take some belly breaths? Like Aunt Reggie showed us?” Janis asks. She coaches Leo through a few deep breaths, helping her calm down. Leo gradually does stop crying and lets Janis wipe her tears away. “Good job, Leo Beo! I’m so proud of you.”

Leo grins happily and cuddles back into her mommy.

“Bee, can you be brave and show Mommy the monster?” Janis asks quietly. Leo whimpers slightly and clings to her.

“Hol’ju?” She asks in fright.

“Yeah, of course I’ll hold you. I got you, I won’t let you go,” Janis comforts, picking her back up. “My brave little bee.”

Leo holds tightly to her as she’s carried back to the playroom. Janis asks where the monster was, and Leo points to the window. Janis approaches, feeling her child cling to her neck in fright. And then she finds it.

“Is this the monster, baby girl?” She asks, pointing to the little caterpillar inching its way across the windowsill. Leo nods desperately. Janis has to hold back a laugh. “Oh, Bumblebee, that’s not a monster. That’s a caterpillar.”

“A callapillar?” Leo asks. “Wha’ssat?”

“A caterpillar is a baby butterfly,” Janis explains. “She’s gonna grow a little bit, and then build something called a cocoon that she stays in for a while. And then when she comes out, she’s gonna be a butterfly.”

“A bullaf’y?” Leo asks in disbelief.

“Mmhmm. Should we keep her to show sissy and Mama?” Janis asks. Leo nods. “Okay, come on.”

She carries Leo out to the kitchen to grab a big jar and pokes holes in the lid. Leo helps add some paper towels and wet leaves, and then they head back to their new friend. Janis gently picks it up, letting the caterpillar inch onto her hand.

“Do you wanna touch it?” Janis asks, not moving it closer to Leo in case she doesn’t want to. “It’s kind of fuzzy.”

“Eat me?” Leo asks. Janis can tell she’s interested, but she’s also scared.

“No, baby, it won’t eat you. It won’t even bite, it wants to eat the plants we put in instead,” Janis comforts. Leo tentatively reaches a hand out, so Janis helps her gently brush her tiny fingers over the bug. Leo giggles at the tickly sensation. “See? Isn’t it nice?”

Leo nods, and helps gently plop the bug into the jar. She holds it carefully to observe the caterpillar now that it’s been contained, looking at it curiously. Janis is very glad she chose a plastic jar.

“Name?” Leo asks.

“Sure, we can name it. What do you think we should call it?” Janis asks, carrying Leo back to the studio to finish their original plan for the afternoon.

“Uhm… Mama,” Leo says. Janis does call Cady ‘Butterfly’ a fair bit, she supposes it makes sense.

“Mama the caterpillar, okay,” Janis chuckles. “Do you want to paint a picture of it?” Leo nods excitedly, so Janis snaps on her smock and sets her loose to paint a masterpiece while she finishes her commission.

Cady comes home with Layla after a while, and the delight on Leo’s face as she runs to show off their new friend and her painting makes the whole ordeal worth it.

—————

two.

Janis is home with Layla today. Leo had taken a venture into a thorn patch the day before and needed a doctor to help remove the last of them from her feet, so she’s out with Cady.

Janis plays with Elvira and Daffodil while Layla takes her nap. Suddenly, a cry comes through the baby monitor, and Janis rushes upstairs to see what the matter is.

Layla is, obviously, awake now, and holding on to her stuffed elephant. Janis doesn’t quite get what the problem is until she notices one of the elephant’s ears in her other hand.

“Uh oh, Lala, what happened?” Janis asks sadly, coming to hold her baby to comfort her. “Did Elmer’s ear come off?”

Layla nods with a pitiful wail, worried about her stuffed friend. Janis holds her closer and bounces her slightly to soothe her.

“Shh, Ladybug, it’s okay,” Janis hushes. “Mommy can fix his ear, shh. I got you, it’s okay.”

“Fissit?” Layla sniffles, looking at Janis curiously. Janis nods.

“Yeah, I can fix it. We’ll just have to sew it back on, he’ll be okay,” Janis confirms. “Come on.”

Janis carries Layla downstairs to the kitchen, stopping to grab a needle and thread from the sewing kit in the study and the twins’ play doctor kit from the playroom. Once they have everything, she rests Layla on the kitchen counter and Elmer in front of her.

“Alright Doctor Layla, you ready for surgery?” Janis asks. Layla nods curiously, her face still a heartbreaking red from her tears. Janis offers her a toy syringe. “Okay, give him the medicine so he doesn’t feel the pokes.”

Layla pokes it into Elmer’s arm, pretending to give him a shot. Janis threads up the needle while she does, then puts the stuffing back in and positions the ear where it should be.

“Can you hold his hand to help him be brave?” Janis asks. Layla gently takes a stuffed foot in her little hand and watches as Janis stitches the ear back on carefully. After a quick assessment, the surgery is complete, and Janis is confident that the ear won’t fall off again for at least a week. Toddlers are rough. “There we go, he’s all fixed!”

Layla claps her little hands happily and picks her friend back up, holding him close. “All bedder.”

“All better,” Janis confirms. “Now he can hear you again!”

Layla giggles as Janis kisses her chubby cheeks and helps her down. “T’ank you.”

“You’re welcome, Bug. I always got you.”

—————

three.

Janis takes the twins to the playground on a nice spring day. Cady needed them out of the house for a while to finish some work, so Janis gets to have some two-on-one time with their daughters for a little bit.

They both make a beeline for the swings as soon as they arrive, so Janis helps them into one together. The twins’ backs are against each other so they can both see out. Janis pushes them a few times to get them going and tickles Leo’s feet whenever they come back her way. After a few goes she switches to see Layla and does the same to her.

Janis takes a quick video to send to Cady of them swinging happily, with Layla babbling away about something very important. Janis can’t quite understand, since they both use a mix of English, Swahili, French, and their own special twin language. Leo just giggles the whole time.

After a while they both get dizzy and ask to get down, so Janis helps them out and sets them on the ground. Neither of the twins know what they want to do next, so Janis suggests they have a race just for fun. There’s a track nearby that joggers use, and they head that way.

Janis sets herself as the finish line a ways away, and the twins both set off on their shaky legs to run towards her when she gives the cue. They’ve only been walking for about six months, so they haven’t quite gotten the hang of running yet.

Layla makes it first on a technicality. She probably would have anyway, but Leo tripped just at the home stretch and hurt herself.

Janis scoops up Layla and comes to assess the situation as Leo starts crying where she rests on the pavement. She rests Layla in the grass nearby and scoops up the second twin.

“Oh no, Bumblebee, did you fall down?” Janis asks, already rooting through her backpack for the first aid kit. “Shh, I got you, let’s fix your owies.”

Leo sits on her lap and cries miserably as Janis gently brushes the small pebbles off her little chubby hands, assessing the scrapes. No bleeding, but they clearly hurt. Her knees are next, and Janis pouts when she sees the small scrape that is actually bleeding slightly. Layla looks on in concern for her twin as Janis opens a wipe and some bandaids.

Leo cries harder at the stinging sensation of the sanitizing wipe, but calms quickly as Janis tenderly sticks the fun smiley face bandaid over her scrape and kisses her little knee.

“There we go, all better,” Janis comforts, hugging her baby tightly. “Shh, Bee, I got you.”

Leo calms her crying after a good cuddle and is quickly ready to get back to playing. Janis holds their hands and leads them back over to the slides, deciding that the track has caused enough damage for one day.

—————-

four.

Janis sighs exasperatedly as she hears the twins kick off crying at the same time. Both babies are sick with a miserable cold that they unfortunately almost definitely picked up from Janis. Sick babies are miserable, especially when there’s not much you can do to help. And to make matters worse, Cady has a work event she can’t miss, so Janis is left alone for most of the evening.

Janis grabs the medicine and some bottles for them and heads up to the nursery. They both look miserable, pink cheeks from a mix of fever and crying, and pitiful little stuffy noses. Janis pouts and grabs both from their cribs, carrying them over to the comfy rocker and holding them on her lap.

“My poor girls. Come here, I got you,” she says quietly.

Janis quickly and carefully measures out the right dose of medicine and gives it to Leo, who pulls a face and whimpers at the metallic strawberry taste. Once she’s offered her bottle, though, she calms down and cuddles in. Janis measures out another dose and tries to give it to Layla.

“No!” Layla refuses, turning her head the other way with a sniff.

“Loopsy, it’ll make you feel better,” Janis coaxes, already exhausted herself. “Shh, come here. I got you. I know it’s yucky.”

“No!” Layla says again. Janis needs to resort to desperate measures, before this evolves into a full-blown tantrum. She stands up and carries the twins down to the kitchen. Layla looks excited but suspicious when she pulls out some juice boxes from the fridge.

Leo gets hers right away, no tricks. She sits next to her twin on the counter and kicks her little legs contently, sucking away at her tasty apple juice. Janis focuses on Layla, standing in front of her and having a little staredown with her baby.

She prepares the juice box, holding it in her hand and pretending to offer it to her. Janis secretly has the syringe of medicine in her other hand behind her back. Layla opens her mouth to accept the juice, but Janis quickly pops the medicine in instead.

Layla glares at her crankily but does blessedly swallow her dose of the syrup. Janis then actually gives her her juice, which she takes thankfully and drinks quickly to get the taste out of her mouth. Janis gets the death stare throughout the whole process of washing out the syringe and putting the medicine bottle away safely.

“Good job, girls! That medicine is yucky, huh?” Janis says. “My brave little twinkies.”

Leo beams, and even Layla gives a weak smile. Janis thinks for a while. The twins are both made lethargic by their cold, but it’s not quite bedtime yet. What can they do?

“Should we… watch a movie?” Janis asks excitedly. The twins don’t usually get much screen time, so any movie or show is a special treat. Janis thinks they deserve a Disney movie to help them feel better.

“Yeah!” Leo cheers hoarsely. Janis pouts slightly when she hears the grit in her voice. Layla nods eagerly around her juice box.

“My poor sickies. Okay, come on. I got you,” Janis says, scooping them up and carrying them to the couch. They both cuddle into her sides, all three of them watching Tangled and snuggling under a soft blanket.

Cady comes home a few hours later and smiles lovingly when she finds them all asleep together and the movie credits rolling on the screen.

——���——-

five.

“I’m gonna get you!” Janis growls playfully, going into her ‘monster’ stance and preparing to chase her twins around the living room. They both squeal in delight and run away in different directions. Janis gives them a head start before she goes after Leo.

Leo shrieks as she’s captured, laughing heartily as Janis tosses her in the air and then blows raspberries on her belly before she’s gently tossed onto the couch. Layla is next.

She’s made it about halfway down the hall before she’s snatched up, screaming in surprise. Janis gives her the same treatment, but holds her by the hands to spin her around instead of tossing somewhere. Until she hears a pop and Layla gives a little yelp.

Janis quickly sets her down to check what the noise was. “What was that?”

Layla shrugs. She doesn’t seem bothered by it, but Janis has a gut feeling something isn’t right.

“Gimme five,” Janis asks as a test. It would make sense for the noise to have come from her arms. Layla only moves her left hand for the high fives. “Now this one. Can you move it?”

Layla shakes her head and looks at her in fear. She runs in for a hug, and Janis can feel her little body quivering in fright.

“Hey, it’s okay, I got you. Mama knows more about this than me, she can probably fix it. Let’s go see,” Janis says quickly. She’s absolutely terrified, but can’t let Layla know that. Did she break her own daughter’s arm?

She helps Layla sit next to Leo on the couch. Leo hugs her twin tightly, seeming instinctively to know something’s off. Janis goes to find Cady.

“Caddy?” She asks when she finds her in her study.

“Yes? Sounds like you guys are having a lot of fun,” Cady chuckles, spinning around from her desk to face her.

“IthinkIbrokeLayla,” Janis says quickly and quietly.

“You what?” Cady asks.

“I think I broke her arm,” Janis says desperately. “I’m a terrible mom, what-what am I doing?”

“Janis, hey,” Cady says gently. “You’re a wonderful mom. Our girls love you, and whatever you did, you didn’t mean it. You were playing with her. What happened?”

“I was… was chasing them, and then I grabbed her and spun her around, and then there was a pop and now she won’t move her arm,” Janis mumbles anxiously.

“Did you spin her by her wrists or her shoulders?” Cady asks.

“Wrists, I was holding her hands,” Janis says.

“You probably just popped a joint, then. I can fix that, let me see,” Cady says. Janis leads her back to the living room. Cady grins when she sees the twins cuddling on the couch together. “Hey, Bug, what happened to your arm?”

Layla shrugs. “Pop. Won’ work.”

“Uh oh,” Cady says. “Does it hurt?”

Layla shakes her head. “Not owie.”

“Good,” Cady says. “Can Mama see? I might be able to help it move again.”

Layla nods. Cady tells Janis to hold their daughter on her lap. Janis does, smiling as Layla rests her head on her shoulder and offers what works of her arm to Cady.

“It’s not her shoulder, it must be your elbow,” Cady says. She squeezes up and down the whole arm to make sure there’s not a real fracture she needs to take her to the doctor for instead. Luckily, nothing. “Yep. Easy fix. Ladybug, this might hurt a little bit, but it’ll be over super quick, okay?”

Layla nods anxiously, looking to Janis for comfort. In a series of quick motions, Cady shakes her hand, extends her arm out straight, and then brings her hand up to her shoulder. When she extends the arm there’s another pop, and Cady can feel the joint slip back into place. Layla yelps and starts crying, cuddling into Janis.

“Oh, Ladybug, shh,” Janis hushes. “I’m sorry, honey. Shh, it’s okay. I got you, shh.”

Cady rubs Layla’s back gently to calm her down, and tickles Leo’s foot to make her smile. She watched the whole thing go down, and looks very concerned for her twin.

“You’re all done, Loopsy. I felt it go back, we don’t have to do it again,” Cady hushes. “Your arm should work now, can you try?”

Layla wiggles her arm a little bit, bending her elbow curiously. Sure enough, it works!

“Yay, there we go,” Cady says. “All better. You were so brave, too! My big girl.”

“Alright girls, nap time,” Janis says quietly. She carries Layla and holds Leo’s hand as they head upstairs.

—————-

+one.

Cady frowns in confusion when Janis doesn’t come back downstairs after putting the twins down for their nap. She listens to the floorboards creaking above her, and it sounds like Janis is in their bedroom.

Cady heads up to check on her, and her frown deepens when she finds Janis curled into a ball on their bed and shaking with tears.

“Lovey, what’s wrong?” She asks sadly, cuddling up behind her. Janis rolls over and cries into her chest.

“I broke her arm! What kind of mother am I?” Janis sobs. “I broke my kid!”

“Janis, shh,” Cady comforts. “You’re a great mom. The girls love you so much, and so do I. You’re a wonderful mother.”

“But I hurt her,” Janis cries.

“By accident,” Cady hushes. “You were playing with her. It was just a popped elbow. Next time just spin her by her shoulders and not her hands.”

“But she was-she was so scared,” Janis whimpers. “I could feel her shaking.”

“And now she’s fine,” Cady says desperately. “Her arm is fine, and she’s clearly feeling well enough to nap alone. Layla trusts you. She knew you would make it better. She knows you didn’t mean to hurt her. It was an easy fix, love, she’ll be perfectly fine. Babies are bendy.”

Janis doesn’t say anything, she just continues crying into Cady’s chest. Cady holds her close and tries to comfort her. She knows the popped elbow isn’t the only thing Janis is upset about. She’s been insecure about her skills as a parent since before the twins were even born.

After about an hour, they hear the twins wake up and start moving around. “I’ll go get them. You take as long as you need,” Cady murmurs gently, kissing her forehead. She heads down the hall to the nursery to greet her babies.

Layla reaches for her, so she quickly changes her and then sets her down. Cady isn’t worried when she runs off, there’s nothing she can get into and the stairs are blocked off.

Layla pads down the hall on little feet carefully, on a hunt for her mommy. She’s confused when she finds her in the big bed, and is even more confused when she sees Mommy crying. Time to investigate.

She heads back to her own bedroom where Cady is changing Leo. Layla toddles up and tugs on her pant leg to get her attention. “Mama?”

“Yes, my little love?” Cady asks.

“Mommy cry?” Layla asks. Cady freezes for a second. Janis had just about stopped crying when she left, but maybe she picked up again. She decides it’s best to be honest with the twins.

“Yes, Mommy’s crying. She’s sad that she hurt your arm,” Cady says, resting Leo on the floor too.

“Oh.” Layla says. “Is okay. I fissit?”

Cady grins at her sadly and crouches down to her eye level with a ruffle to Layla’s curls. “I don’t know if you can fix it, Bug. But you can go see if she wants a hug, maybe that will help.”

Layla nods and sets off again at top speed, and Leo follows quickly. Cady finishes cleaning up the nursery and follows too.

Janis jumps as she feels small arms wrap around each of her legs, and little chubby cheeks rest on each knee. She looks down to find each of her twins hugging a leg and blinking those big blue eyes at her in concern. She smiles sadly and runs a hand through each head of dark curls.

“Hi, girls,” she says, trying to keep the thick lump out of her voice. “Did you have a good nap?” They both nod against her legs. “Good.”

Layla seems to be assessing her, and Leo is also clearly thinking hard about something. Janis remembers how strange it felt as child whenever an adult cried. Maybe she’s not hiding her tears as well as she thought. The babies look to each other and give a little nod before they each wiggle their way up onto the bed.

Janis is surprised when they both leap onto her and wrap her in a tight hug. They’re getting stronger, she’s nearly knocked onto her back by the force of them.

“Got you, Mommy,” Layla says quietly. Leo nods in agreement.

“Got you.”

Janis nearly starts crying again, wrapping her arms around them to hold them both closer. “Thank you, girls.”

Cady wipes some tears from her eyes and comes to join them too. They had plans for the evening, but sometimes a good family snuggle is more important.

They’ve all got each other.

[gravelyhumerus]

Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 3

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

It's midterm season and Emily runs into JJ at the library, they decide to study together.

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

There were no seats left in this entire goddamned library. Not a single one. Emily was on her second lap on the third floor, desperate for somewhere to sit down and have some peace and quiet to study for her test. She should have assumed this would happen. It was midterm season and the libraries were packed with students around this time each year.

She quietly made her way through the stacks and came upon a long, rectangular table near the back window. It overlooked a dark parking lot. The books were gigantic tombs of old academic journals that no one had probably even opened in decades.

There were eight seats and seven people, with one selfish asshole storing their backpack on the empty seat. Well, could be saving it for their friend, but with it being midterm season, those rules really shouldn’t apply anymore.

Emily braced herself and, with a smile, tapped the boy on the shoulder.

He had a large pair of headphones on. He lifted one side off his ear in a gesture of: ‘what do you want.’

“Is anyone sitting there?” She whispered, as quietly as she could, pointing to the seat next to him.

“Oh sorry,” he said, somewhat reluctantly, moving the coat and bag, inviting her to join him. She smiled in thanks and sat down.

Carefully unpacking her laptop and books, Emily tried to avoid disturbing the other folks at her table, the silence making each noise she made boom through the library. She settled down and pulled out her thermos, taking a sip of her coffee and bracing herself for a long night.

Her core classes for psychology were brutal, filled with endless memorization of terminology, stacks of mandatory books to read and countless essays.

At 8:30 the next morning it was her Introduction to Clinical Psychology midterm, worth a whopping thirty percent of her grade. She spent the entire day, between classes, at the Starbucks on campus, drinking her way through her student funds in coffee form and making endless flashcards.

She already had a stack of almost one hundred cards and she still had a couple hours of work left.

Just returning from dinner at the cafeteria, Emily had decided that she needed the relative quiet of the massive campus library to focus on the memorization period of her evening.

She flipped to the right page of her textbook: page 315, with a large header reading “SEXUAL DISORDERS” in large caps. Emily sighed, it was a strange thing to spend her time learning but at least it never failed to be interesting.

At least she wasn’t in Statistics this semester.

Emily took another sip of coffee, then rummaged through her bag for her wireless headphones, connecting them to her phone in order to play her studying playlist, which was mostly movie soundtracks, interspersed with Emily’s favourite classical music and of course, some lo-fi hip hop beats. She could not listen to music with words when studying, she would get too distracted and get nothing done.

Emily began gnawing at her thumbnail, focusing on writing down the definitions.

After around two hours of writing, Emily finally finished her flashcards. She stretched her back, closed her textbook, and went on her phone for a short break.

A Snapchat notification popped up on her screen.

Cheetobreath98 added you as a friend.

Emily frowned. Who on earth was that? Emily clicked on the profile, revealing the familiar face of Jennifer Jareau.

JJ had added her as a friend! On snapchat no less! That was at least three steps more intimate than Instagram.

Woah. Slow down there Em. She told herself. Don’t make it something it’s not.

They kept running into each other. JJ was probably just being friendly. She probably just wanted to say thank you for the cookies or send her funny snaps of the other students on their floor.

She has a boyfriend, a boyfriend she is having trouble with, but a boyfriend nonetheless. You can’t go around thinking about intimacy and Jennifer Jareau in the same sentence.

Emily accepted the friend request. Did that make them friends now? Emily hoped so. They could be friends.

As Emily stared at their chat, a new snap from JJ came in. Emily couldn’t help herself, she opened it immediately and she was met with a photo… of herself.

Emily’s head shot up looking around. She looked back down and it was clearly a photo of Emily, hunched over the desk with her head resting on her chin, staring down at her phone, taken from somewhere to her left.

JJ waved at her from between some books. Emily shot her a surprised smile in response.

She closed her laptop, stood, and walked over to her.

“Creeper,” Emily whispered with a giggle.

JJ had a large textbook and some notebooks in her arms, and a backpack hanging off one shoulder, and leaned in towards Emily to speak quietly, which let Emily catch the light, fruity smell of her perfume, blending nicely with the earthy smell of the old books around them.

“Guilty as charged,” JJ smiled.

“What are you working on?” Emily asked, gesturing at her heavy load, she leaned and took a peek at the title of the textbook.

“French,” JJ said, “It’s hard to bullshit that when you don’t know it. I’ve got a midterm tomorrow.”

“Bien sûr,” Emily replied confidently in French.

JJ blinked.

“Tu parles Français?” JJ’s French was shaky and uncertain, with less of an accent than Emily would expect.

Emily coughed quietly and tried to clear her throat.

“I do,” she replied in French, “I’ve been told that when I was a toddler, I was speaking it more fluently than English.”

JJ glanced down, seeming to be translating her words for a brief moment before replying, slowly, clearly excited to use Emily for practise.

“Are you French?”

“No,” Emily said, “My mom wasn’t around much when we were living in France and the nanny didn’t speak English.”

“Ton nurse?” JJ asked, not knowing the definition of ‘nanny’ in French.

“Oh uh,” Emily replied in English, “My nanny, the lady who watched me when my mom was working. She’s an ambassador.”

JJ nodded, then switched to English. She didn’t ask about Emily’s dad, which Emily was grateful for.

“My family is French, originally I guess,” JJ said, “Hence Jareau , the French name. I remember my grandparents speaking it when I was growing up. I only learned a few words from them so I thought I’d take a course here. I need language courses for my communications degree anyways.”

“Your French is good!” Emily assured her. “Honestly mine is getting rusty, I have no one to practise on.”

“Well,” JJ said between coughs, “you could tutor me?”

Emily smiled. An opportunity to spend more time with her? She would take it. She nodded.

“Mais oui!” Emily replied in her most dramatic accent that she could manage, sending both girls into a fit of giggles.

“Shhhhh!” Someone at Emily’s table hissed.

The two girls made eye contact, then burst into another fit of giggles.

“I have a study room booked for nine,” JJ said, “If you want to join me.”

“Absolutely,” Emily replied, “I have a midterm tomorrow as well, so I’ll be here for awhile.”

“Allons-y!” JJ whisper-yelled.

Emily collected her things and followed JJ into a room down the hall, tucked behind the stacks. Inside, was a desk, a couple of white boards and a small window facing into the quad. It was small, with only two chairs. It was shocking that JJ even managed to snag that, the booking system filled up days in advance during midterm season.

“I hate whispering,” Emily said at normal volume once the door was shut.

“Libraries are supposed to be quiet,” JJ said.

“I’ve never been good at quiet.”

JJ laughed.

Emily sat down next to her, stealing a glance at JJ while she was distracted: she had a pair of track pants, with a loose fitted t-shirt on top, a pastel blue which complemented her skin tone well. On top, she had her varsity hoodie unzipped, with their school’s crest on display. She looked good, as always, despite being in basically athletic sweats looking ready to go to the gym at any moment.

Emily placed her books down next to JJ at the table, stacking her flash cards neatly next to it. JJ’s eyes widened at the sight of the pile.

“You don’t have to help if you don’t have time,” JJ said, “Honestly I would just appreciate the company.”

“Nonsense,” Emily replied, “I’d be happy to help. I’ve been working on these flash cards all day, I need a break anyways. How ‘bout we work through your practise sheets, then you quiz me after? What’s your test on?”

“Conjugation,” JJ replied, flipping her notes open to a page full of irregular verbs and their conjugations.

“Oh sweet,” Emily scanned the notes, “Present tense, I can do this.”

Emily leaned back in her chair, pulling her feet up to sit crossed-legged.

“I was worried you were going to ask me the difference between plus-que-parfait and subjonctif or something.”

“I don’t even know what that is.”

“Lucky,” Emily said.

JJ then reached into her bag, pulling out a small case and revealing a pair of glasses—reading glasses—and put them onto her face. They were gold rimmed, round framed, and made her eyes slightly larger with the magnification.

“You-” Emily stuttered, her brain feeling like it was short circuiting at the sight of JJ, “Have glasses?”

“Yeah,” JJ muttered flipping through her notebook, “I don’t really need them but I’ve been staring at screens all day and my eyes are tired.”

“Nerd,” Emily fake-coughs. JJ’s draw drops and she hits Emily playfully with her notebook, whacking her on the arm lightly.

“You promised to help me, not mock me for my bad eyes,” JJ huffs.

“Ok fine let’s conjugate… hmmm… ‘voir’ to start,” Emily jokes, spinning her pen between her fingers.

“I know you’re kidding but I actually don’t know that one.”

Emily grins and begins explaining to her how to conjugate ‘to see’ in French.

“Now,” Emily says, “If you want to talk about how I can see, and you can’t—because you’re blind—you would write: Emily voit. Emily sees.”

“Elle voit? V-o-i-t?”

“Oui, et, Jennifer ne voit pas!” Emily giggles, “Jennifer does not see!”

“Ha-ha,” JJ says, not laughing.

“Sorry, I’ll stop now,” Emily says, picking up the worksheet and reading it over.

“Basically,” JJ says, “I need to just memorize this list of common irregular verbs by tomorrow. I already have the regular er, ir and re verbs down.”

“Cocky girl,” Emily said. “I like it.”

“Ok what verb should we start with?”

“Vouloir,” Emily said, “to want.”

The deeper meaning of this was not lost on her, even as she said it. Emily was far past the point of denying it to herself, or Morgan when he teased her, Emily wanted JJ.

“Start with je,” Emily continued, unfazed by her own internal monologue. “What do you want?”

“Je veux… un biscuit,” JJ said, sticking her pen in her mouth. She was so cute when she focused, chewing distractedly on the cap, with her glasses falling down her nose.

“Now what would I want?” Emily prompted, trying to focus back on the worksheet and not JJ in profile, gazing at the gentle slope of her nose, her pink lips that would probably taste like chapstick.

“Tu veux du thé?” JJ grinned, evoking their previous late-night hang out.  

“Oui,” Emily smiled, “I could definitely use some of your tea right now. Stuck with coffee for now though. I need the caffeine.”

They continued through that verb, moving down her list and covering aller, mettre, venir, before cycling back to the most important ones to make sure JJ had them memorized. Covering lots of ground, the two girls spent almost two hours straight working through her midterm prep booklet.

“Thanks so much for helping,” JJ said. “Maybe you could tutor me again sometime.”

Emily grinned. Maybe it was just tutoring but that meant hours alone with her and her pretty face and her laugh and the way she smelled like warm vanilla.

“Whenever you need me!”

“Je suis excité!” JJ said, in French, which was definitely not what she aimed to say.

Emily began to laugh. Hard. It started as a giggle but the sheer ridiculousness of her situation made it so much funnier. Her crush just looked her in the eyes and told her she was horny.  

“What?!” JJ demanded, nervously laughing at Emily’s reaction.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry,” Emily tried to calm down, to hold in her laughs. “In French we never say excité. It does not mean excited.”

“What does it mean?”

“JJ you just said that you were horny,” Emily made out between laughs. It must be the lack of sleep that made the simple mistake so much funnier.

“Emily!” JJ laughed, “don’t laugh at me I didn’t know!”

Emily’s laughter was infectious and before long the two girls were lost in a fit of giggles.

“You should say: ‘J’ai hâte!’” Emily said eventually, “it means I can’t wait. Like: J’ai hâte d'étudier avec toi. Or Je suis ravi. Or impatiente. Just don’t go around telling people how horny you are.”

“Fine,” JJ said, with a slight pout, “ J’ai hâte. ”

Emily nodded.

“I guess I can say I learned something today,” JJ murmured, “I guess it really is the language of love.”

Emily didn’t say anything, taking a sip of her cold coffee to muffle the squeak threatening to come out of her throat

“So,” JJ changed the subject, “gimme your flash cards. What are you learning?”

Before Emily could earn her, JJ flipped over the first card which read: ‘SEXUAL DISORDERS!’ in Emily’s messy script.

“On the same theme,” JJ murmured.

And so for the next hour, JJ and Emily made their way through her psychology flash cards, slowly making sure that Emily had the endless serious mental health disorders, personality disorders and other terms memorized before her midterm.

Luckily, In the process of writing them down, and due to her religious commitment to attending lectures, Emily had already retained most of them. Studying with JJ did help, because it forced her to explain some of the concepts in plain language, which, she found, furthered her understanding.

Moreover, JJ had brought snacks. Which made studying every more doable when she  could award herself with an m&m for each correct answer.

The thing was, half way through Emily’s stack of cards, and as the night crept on, JJ’s energy crashed as the girl’s body decided that it was way past her bedtime and that she should be asleep.

Unlike Emily, JJ was clearly not a night owl.

Eventually, Emily finished up her studying alone, discovering that the blonde was just about useless, as she read out gibberish and expected Emily to understand her. JJ finally fell asleep sitting up at about one-thirty in the morning. Emily decided to leave her be as she still needed to jot a few things down.

“JJ?” Emily murmured after a few minutes, poking the other girl with her pen. “JJ? Wake up.”

“Mm?” JJ murmured, her eyes still closed shut, her head heavy resting on her hand. She was adorable.

“I’m calling it,” Emily said, closing her textbook. “It’s almost two. We’ve studied enough.”

“Mmm… yeah I don’t know if I can fit any more French in my brain,” JJ rubbed her eyes.

“I think you’ll do just fine!”

They packed up their things, bundling up against the cold fall air. JJ went through the motions with her eyes half shut, allowing Emily to guide her out of their study room, down the spiral staircase and into the lobby.  

Unfortunately, as they stood just inside the library door, the clouds broke, sending rain pouring down onto campus. Sighing at their poor timing, they pulled their hoods over their hair in an attempt to stay relatively dry.

They walked home, laughing as it rained down onto them.

JJ seemed to wake up and her prior drowsiness seemed to fade into the night sky. She giggled as she splashed in a puddle, and her yellow jacket lit up under a street lamp.

Emily grinned, feeling elated in her exhaustion. How lucky she was! Splashing in the rain with JJ, which was a strange yet pleasant ending to what had promised to be a dredge of an evening. JJ waited for a moment, letting Emily catch out before grasping onto Emily’s hand and holding on, pulling her through the rain.

They tore through the torrential downpour, their hands clasped together, unbothered by the cold as the fiery feeling of JJ’s hand in her own had her full attention. A warm feeling filled her chest as she thought about how it was JJ who wanted to hold Emily’s hand.

Not caring whether it was just a friendly hand hold, or if it meant more, Emily’s heart soared.

JJ’s hand was smaller than hers, and their fingers fell together perfectly, comfortably linked like they were built to do so.

They only let go once they reached the door to their building, as Emily fumbled with the wet metal key ring in her pocket, unlocking the front door and offering the two relief from the rain.

They lingered in the hall, both damp, looking at each other as the tiredness returned and settled into their bones. Emily could see the bags under JJ’s eyes, the exhaustion clear on her face. Her cheeks were flushed from running through the rain and her blonde hair wet and tangled from the wind.

A voice in Emily’s head demanded that she reach out her hands, firmly grab the sides of JJ’s perfect face and kiss her then and there. It would be so perfect, their lips would meet and JJ would rest her hands on Emily’s hips. She would pull her in close and their bodies would crash into each other, fitting together perfectly. Emily’s tongue would graze against JJ’s lips, and their kiss would deepen until finally they would pull apart and-

“Goodnight, Emily,” JJ said, smiling at her sweetly, “Get some sleep before your midterm.”

Emily was brought crashing back into reality.

“Oh,” Emily said, “Yeah you too, you need it.”

“Thank you for helping me out,” JJ continued, “I was having a really bad day and you really made me feel a lot better.”

JJ looked down.  

“Yeah, uh, this morning I broke up with Will. Or maybe he broke up with me. I don’t know,” she admitted, “and with the midterm… then the home game tomorrow afternoon...“

She sighed.

“It was a long day and I’m grateful for your company.”

Kiss her, the voice in her head screamed, do it!

“I’m sorry about your break up, either way,” Emily said sincerely. “I feel the same way. I mean, I enjoyed your company. I think I’m going to do well on my midterm too.”

She smiled at JJ who returned it sleepily. Emily kicked herself for the awkward phrasing but blamed the fact that it was late at night and she was processing the fact that her crush was single. Single and had held her hand.

“Bonne chance demain,” Emily said with a wave, wishing JJ luck.

They looked at each other for another moment, before turning and unlocking their individual rooms. That night, Emily dreamt of Paris, cookies and the girl across the hall.

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

The Queens on Holiday part 3/?

Before I start, this is just a casual reminder that I now have an insta account (@we_stan_six)! Go follow me if you like the sort of stuff I post here :)

Anyway, sorry this third installment took so long to get around to. Personal life caught up with me and I really don't want to half ass any of my headcanons. It just doesn't feel right, ya know? (Also I can’t do the read more thing on mobile IM SORRY OKAY?)

Parr shouts for help because that bag has all of her clothes, shoes, the medical kit and three signed books in it

Problem is, they’re in Italy and no one can understand the tiny woman with curly hair shouting madly in a language they don’t speak

Aragon isn’t helping as she’s just sort of flailing her arms about wildly and screaming in Spanish

Jane grabs what looks to be a security guard and tries desperately to explain the situation to them

Cleves goes full on superwoman and breaks into a sprint

Boleyn drops her bags and follows on her heels

Boleyn’s heelys finally come in handy as she zooms through the crowd

The two catch up with the man and wrench the bag from his hand

He just stands there, dumbfounded and confused

There’s a few whispers coming from onlookers in the airport

“Why is no one applauding our valiant act of heroism?” “I mean it wasn’t that-” “we risKED OUR LIVES” “Boleyn it’s not-“ “WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE SERVED”

The other four queens rush up to the scene

People are starting to call for security

Howard quickly smiles at the man and, to the other queens surprise, the two begin to converse in Italian

“You never said you spoke Italian” “no one ever asked” “Never mind that, why was he trying to steal my bag?”

The two continue to converse

All the colour drains from Howard’s face

Turns out, the man is partially blind and genuinely thought Parr’s bag was his. He started running because he saw the time and realised he was about to miss his connection flight

His wife comes up behind them, holding her own bag and an exact copy of Parr’s bag except this one has a different name tag on it

The other queens all start trying to profusely apologise in a variety of different languages. English, French, German, Italian, Spanish.

Parr accidentally slips into Korean once or twice in her flustered state

The couple just sort of back away from the queens and run to get their flight

The six of them all take a quick breath and let the adrenaline drain from them

“Uh, queens”

Aragon is pointing over their shoulders

An army of buff security guards are questioning a few witnesses to what just happened

All fingers are pointing to the queens

“What does that mean? “IT MEANS RUN”

So the queens leg it out of the airport and pile into the nearest taxi without warning

Howard is in the front so she can translate

There’s only three seats in the back, so the other five queens are all squished together in a mess of limbs

“Are we there yet” “for the sixth time-OW” “Oh come on Parr that couldn’t have hurt that much!” “Im delicate okay?” Who the hell is hurting my goddaughter?” “Guys I can’t feel my legs anymore” “are we there yet?” “NO”

Since the queens missed their original flight, they’re really behind schedule

They can either miss their tour of the Vatican and go to the hotel to drop their bags off, or they can do the tour and miss the hotel’s dinner

Aragon is DETERMINED to see the Sistine chapel

Cleves and Boleyn also seem pretty interested in doing a tour of the Vatican

Cleves explains quietly to Aragon that yes, she might have been raised a Lutheran but she converted to Catholicism at Mary’s request. The least she could do was tour the place that Aragon’s daughter loved so much

Aragon is incredibly touched

Boleyn just wants to try and find the angel that’s giving the medieval version of the finger thats painted on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel

The queens decide to spilt up.

Aragon, Boleyn and Cleves will do the tour, while Seymour, Howard and Parr head on with the bags and check into the hotel

Just as Seymour hops out of the cab, she gives the trio a long list of instructions on what to do and what definitely not to do

The not to do list is directed solely at Boleyn

Only Aragon actually listens

Seymour turns to Parr and Howard

“Was I right? In letting them go by themselves, I mean?” “Absolutely, mum” “No they’re definitely going to d-I mean yeah”

So they check into the hotel without much of a fuss

Seymour still can’t believe that Howard speaks Italian and never mentioned anything about it

Howard is more surprised that Parr didn’t join the others at the Vatican

Turns out she just wanted to make sure she got the better room at the hotel

So Seymour, Parr and Howard all reward themselves for actually getting to italy by taking the bigger room with the queen sized beds, balcony and mini-fridge

Seymour insists that they only took this room so Boleyn wouldn’t cost them a small fortune by raiding the mini-fridge and definitely not because this room as a jacuzzi bath

“Should we really let Aragon and Boleyn share a room for a week?” “That can be Cleves problem”

So the they go to dinner

Seymour and Parr share a bottle of wine

Parr gets emotional when tipsy

*Hiccup* “you guys...you guys know how much the show means to me right? And you queens are so *hiccup* amazing and I’m so glad the producers raised us from the dead”

Howard eats so much Italian gelato she can’t even look at it for the rest of the week

Seymour’s phone begins ringing just as the bill for dinner arrives

It’s a number she doesn’t recognise.

She answers anyway, and to her surprise, it’s Aragon

“Jane! Thank goodness, now you need to listen to me really carefully it’s incredibly-GET OFF ME ANNA-

Jane can hear some faint shuffling as Cleves takes the phone

“Hey, Seymour. How are things? Good? That’s great. Now the thing is we’re sort of in a bit of trouble right now and-”

Cleves shouts a string of curses so colourful they could put even the pride flag to shame as the phone is snatched from her hand

Now it’s Boleyn

“JANE FOR GOD’S SAKE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP US THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME!”

Howard and Parr can both hear the other queens bickering with one another over the phone

People are giving them strange looks

“Mum, turn speakerphone off” “it is off!”

Jane sighs and returns to the phone call

“Queens, calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re squabbling like children. Now what’s wrong?”

Jane can barely believe their response

“WE’VE BEEN ARRESTED!”

BONUS

Meanwhile, back in London, the Ladies in Waiting and the three alternates are having a quiet week to themselves all things considered.

Howard’s service dog may have terrorised a family picnic or two when Joan took it for a walk but other than that things have gone well

Maggie suggests they all have night in together

Before Maggie can even finish her suggestion the alternates are ordering pizza

While Maria runs out to pick up their order, the others decide to play a game of monopoly

Within about thirty seconds Bessie and Joan and are no longer on speaking terms and one of the alternates has already been in jail six times

“Huh,” another one of the alternates murmurs, concentrating intensely on the news broadcast and trying to block out the brewing row “apparently some idiot just set the Sistine Chapel on fire...”

[thelioninmybed]

Catch 22

@imindhowwelayinjune and @erotetica​ tagged me in the 11 questions meme! And then I took two thousand years to answer it!

June asked:

1. If I gave you $20 and told you you had to spend it right now, what would you spend it on? A nice lunch, there’s a place that does bahn mi down the road I’ve been meaning to go to but- wait a minute, they’re not gonna accept USD. Um.

2. If you waved your foot in the air to the immediate left of you what would you kick? My PC tower, so I’m not gonna do that!

3. There’s a new spider in my sink. Name it. Wally (to go with Mack)

4. Describe one thing you’d like to create (eg a specific story, art, type of pancake, etc) I would really really like to give Raised By Wolves the ending it deserves (and Star*Boys but tbh we’re well on track for finishing that)

5. Describe one thing you’d like to consume that someone else created (eg a specific story, art, type of pancake, etc) Some kind of matcha chocolate cake thing, @knight-tracer gave me matcha kitkats she got on holiday and they’re really good!

6. If you were a cartoon character, what outfit would you always be drawn in/what features would make you identifiable? My hella cool wizard coat that’s been handed down through my family for generations (i.e. it was Mum’s until it stopped fitting her last year)

Bonus: Draw yourself as a cartoon character - take no more than five minutes - and include the sketch here.

7. Tell me some gossip about someone I definitely don’t know. The Marchioness of Worcester is now Duchess of Beaufort (which sucks tbh, I know Marchioness < Duchess but it’s a radder sounding title) but the important thing is if you ever invite her over for dinner she will cycle over with a pan of soup strapped to her bike and eat that instead of whatever Duchess-worthy meal you had prepared. 

8. Without checking to see if it’s correct type something you have memorised (a line of poetry, a lyric, an equation)

I met a traveller from an antique land, Who said; ‘two vast and trunkless legs of stone, Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, Whose frown and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read, Which yet survive stamped on these lifeless things. The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed. And on the pedestal these words appear; "My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works ye mighty, and despair." Nothing beside remains round the decay Of that colossal wreck. Boundless and bare, The lone and level sands stretch far away.'

Pretty sure that’s right, except for the punctuation! 

9. Go to the elf name generator, generate a name, and tell us what the parts of it mean. Half. It means seashell :)

Bonus: Describe who this name belongs to. A dead Teleri. 

10. What’s something that made you laugh out loud recently? I just started listening to My Dad Wrote A Porno which is hilarious but maybe not the best thing to listen to on a crowded bus. 

11. What trope do you secretly love that people like to say you shouldn’t? (eg self-insert characters, purple prose, chat fic, pumpkin lattes - you know, whatever the latest fun is that we’re not supposed to be having) Angsty antihero/villain-but-feels-bad-about-it types. Apparently I never stopped being fourteen. 

Erotetica asked:

1. Do you have any pets? If so, in what way are they stupidest? Kira, my cat, will come find you and cry for food until you go and point at his (full) bowl. What a moron, I love him so much. 

2. Favourite kind of book (classics, scifi, romance, etc.) ....speculative fiction. This is a cunning code for ‘Books with elves in but I don’t want to admit that’

3. Obscure Headcanon for a character you haven’t previously shared? I can’t answer this cause I already tell you all whatever dumb shit comes into my head soon as it happens. 

4. Do you have any ocs? If so, share what universe they’re from and a little bit about them. I think my OCs are well documented! Horrible Minions Tuluspen and Yreth are my only significant Silmarillion OCs - Maedhros’ steward and the captain of Fingon’s guard respectively (and inappropriate girlfriends collectively).

Raised By Wolves, my original fiction, follows the adventures of neurotic elven apostate Khazri Il’harren, his hot doctor friend Imrael Sovelin, and the hideous machinations of the Il’harren family.

As you probably already know (cause we won’t shut up about it/did a weird hoax last year), June and I are writing a novel and share custody of the cast of Star*Boys. 

Matthew Rose is an Emmy award winning actor, the golden boy of prime time TV. He likes cats, getting into internet slapfights, and his new costar’s biceps. 

Finn Martin is a theater nerd coming to grips with his newfound celebrity status and he’s really excited to explain the role of ostranenie in the High School Alien drama he’s starring in!

Katya Walker is a model, a feminist, and aware of the contradiction, thank you very much. Don’t ask her about cheerleading outfits. Or pastel overalls. Or- don’t even talk to her, just keep the drinks coming. 

5. Music or Audiobooks? Audiobooks! 

6. What is your favorite hobby? Does writing count? Ice skating, the longsword and baking are all up there too. 

7. An author you enjoy? Susanna Clarke

8. Do you speak more than one language? If so, how many, and which ones? High School French and Teenage Anime Fan Japanese. Neither is very impressive.

9. Share a quote/book passage/poem that you like ‘Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.’

10. If you had to choose a Bad aesthetic, which one would you pick (dudebro, edgelord, I Liked It Before It Was Cool, etc.) Aesthetic generator says Ghost Bug which...sure. Sounds like a Pokemon.

11. You are stranded on an island. What one thing do you have with you? Say the first thing that comes into your head. A stapler because I’m looking at one right now, can I not take something I’ve thought of after a period of careful evaluation (a solar powered Kindle)?

I know I’m meant to tag people but omg just answering things took too long I can’t handle tagging I’m so sorry

[planetoban]

Savin’s Answers from Twitter!

Turns out that Savin has been pretty active on Twitter answering questions from fans! I’ve gone through and collected all of them (so far) below- the tweets have been copy-pasted and edited for clarity in some places, with source links below each conversation. This post is long, but contains no images. Tweets are in chronological order from most to least recent.

I want to express that these answers are NOT 100% canon/true until proven otherwise, since things are bound to change during production.

Also: If you’re going to ask Savin something, please be respectful and appropriate. He’s a person just like you and me.

@fictionjustis: out of curiosity, I read somewhere that the sequel pictures of Eva and Aikka are of them after a time skip exactly how many [cont] years have passed in that time skip? [cont] also is that your final character desighn for Molly and Aikka ?

@EiffelSavin: Not final. Age is a few years older but sticking with this will also depends on who our broadcasting partners will be...

(x)

--

@MahCouch: Do you have any plans on telling us more stuff about planet oban and the history of universe in general?

@EiffelSavin: If we get the sequel financed yes. There's more  planned on the mythology of Oban

(x)

--

@isdebrodis: I'm really curious how old are DW and Rick in 2082, since we know that the mains are teenagers and the mechanics are middle-20s

@EiffelSavin: I don't have my old notes with me right now, where this was laid out very precisely, but I'd say Rick around 30yo and DW late 40s early 50s

(x)

--

@Dr_Marvelous: #obanstarracers #princeaikka Does G'Dar's name have any special meaning in the Nourasian language?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. Funny you should ask as I finalized that point not long ago. If we do get the new projects financed you'll have yout answer!

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: I'm curious you mentioned Don Wei is Eva's only living family member, what happened to Don Wei's parents? And what kind of [continued in next section] @EiffelSavin: Don wei's parents died early. Maya still had some family but they didn't want her to race and resented dw. Cut ties with them both long ago.

@lbigreyhound: That's interesting! I never thought too much about what happened to Maya and Don's parents/Eva's grandparents, but it makes sense... [cont] ....as to why DW was so important to Eva. Her dad was literally all she had left. This was such a great show! I loved it when I was a kid!

@EiffelSavin: Yes. She has no one else to turn to.

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [continued from previous section] family did he have? Also how long was Oban? And why did you make Molly so short yet her mother tall? @EiffelSavin: OSR was 10 years ago. It's that anniversary that got us working again together. As for Molly's hight, she's not so small & just turned 15

@ADoseOfJoy: Did you ever consider that Aikka may possibly have some feelings for Eva in the future,like,Jordan had in OSR ,and not just,,attraction''?

@EiffelSavin: I certainly did ☺

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [why didn't Don Wei] recognize his daughter if she resembles his late wife?

@EiffelSavin: DW hasn't seen Eva for 10 years + during these 10 y. he's done his best to "forget" his painful past - forget Maya & Eva, to keep his sanity

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [is Eva the spitting] image of [Maya]? Or is it just a crazy assumption most fans make.

@EiffelSavin: They look very close IF you drop the piercing, tom boyish haircut, red hair, clothes etc. of Eva. In terms of style: not exactly the same!

(x)

--

@HG_Alsmyr: should we expect to see Jordan return in the new #ŌbanStarRacers?

@EiffelSavin: I would certainly hope so, but I won't elaborate on that right now. It will keep you guessing a little longer 🙂

(x)

--

@EiffelSavin: I had mapped it precisely but that was a while a go. I'd say Rick close to 2m [6′6], Don Wei 1m80 [5′9], Jordan 1m75 [5′7] and Molly around 1m60 [5′2]

(x)

--

@TiigerLilies: [A Bluray release] would be a dream come true. Is there any potential for French or Japanese dub with subtitles?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. At least one of these languages and hopefully subtitled.

(x)

--

@ardaozcan98: What do u think Eva's music taste is like? We've only seen her listening [once] and that's something like metal or techno i guess.

@EiffelSavin: She cares about her music. Strong, fast stuff. It's a refuge. Cf also her listening to a frantic Ayumi A. remix in the original MSR pilot 😉

(x)

--

@bebebubble1: Was Canaletto supposed to have a bigger role in Oban? His takeover always felt a bit rushed and unfulfilling.

@EiffelSavin: More or less what we planned but wasnt easy to fit the whole story in a 26 epi format Somethings had to be left out or reduced to the min ☺

(x)

--

@EiffelSavin: Last point there are no [Totally Spies] inspired dialogues in OSR. I wrote all dials myself and only agreed to add a couple more lighthearted ones 🤓

(x)

--

[context: someone asked about the “all male” counterpart to the Inna species, however it looks like they’ve since deleted their account or made it private, so only Savin’s part of the convo is available]

@EiffelSavin: Well that depends if there is such a thing as a male Inna race... [cont] I didn't really have the chance to expand on the topic but was thinking more in the ways of hermaphrodites, like snails do 😇

(x) (x)

[more context: In the “Creator’s Answers” thread on the OSR forums, Savin stated that the Inna were an all-female race that had an all-male counterpart. Looks like he may have changed his mind]

--

@delicatedowner: [Screenshots that Savin tweeted look] soft on each image, but I do appreciate the effort to remaster them for the planned [Blueray] set.

@EiffelSavin: This could be the screencapture. There is no remastering there. Oban was produced un HD.

@delicatedowner: I stand corrected.  Was it HD originally formatted in widescreen (16:9) or full-frame (4:3) as broadcasted?

@EiffelSavin: HD but formatted originally in 4:3.

(x)

--

@IgorSkochinsky: Love [Iwasaki Taku’s] music! Is there any chance at all of Oban OST vol.2 being released (physical or digital)?

@EiffelSavin: Nothing confirmed yet but If we go ahead with plans to release a bluray, all unpublished tracks could be included as a bonus

(x)

--

@rebelle_g: Hello!  One question about the up coming sequel of Oban Star Racers : Is Rick Thunderbolt in it?He is my favorite character😍

@EiffelSavin: [I] Like him too but we'll see 😉 Part of Rick's appeal is that we didn't get to see him too often. Kept him cool and mysterious.

(x)

--

@Streamer255: Is Molly gonna go by her real name Eva or will she use her alias again?

@EiffelSavin: Eva doesn't really need her alias anymore. But Molly's how most character have come to know her by.  We may use a bit of both

(x)

--

@CourierRin: Do you have any plans for a Molly&Aikka couple in the potential OSR continuation?

@EiffelSavin: Aikka's an important character and close to Molly's Heart but I won't say anything about the plots we're working on for now

(x)

[centralkvetchmonolith]

@spikenards tagged me in a reposty ask meme!

Instructions for orderly continued dissemination of this meme:

Answer the questions the tagger asked!

Write 11 questions!

Tag 11 people!

That seems a little too virulent so like don’t worry about the tagging thing unless you wanna. Honestly you don’t even have to answer the questions. ilu.

1. name your favorite fairy tale by aarne-thompson type if you’ve got it or failing that by a vague and wobbly summary. My absolute favorite, which I could not find in the ATU index, is a substory from Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins wherein Hershel offers pickles to a demon and the demon gets stuck and Hershel is like "I will tell you the secret if you let me light the hanukkiyah" and the demon is like "FINE WHATEVER YOU WANT" and Hershel is like "dude just take one pickle; you're stuck because you tried to take? all of them? what is that even" 2. do you have synaesthesia? I do not! 3. have you ever seen  a ghost? you yourself, not someone you knew. Never seen a ghost but when I was five my babysitter tried to show me magic that I was unable to replicate later for my parents, and we were threatened by a GI Joe action figure once so that was kind of a ghost but I feel like my mental stats were too low as a kid to become a plasticmancer and my greatest regret in life is not asking her, when she visited my mom 15 years later, if all the things I remembered actually happened because what if?? What if magic is real and I could have done it. I failed the test. Never going to Brakebills now. 4. aliens: Would you? I think a better question is "which aliens: wouldn't I?" and like okay thinking harder about it there are certain, like, Things that would be massive turnoffs to, ahem, Diplomatic Entanglements, ahem, but like for example Alternian/Beforan trolls yes Klingons yes Vulcans only if they're halfsies Hutts no Toydarians solid maybe tentacle monsters depends on texture & secretions Twileks sure Na'vi no mulefa no Andalites no Yeerks tentative yes Hork-Bajir mmyes Taxxons no Skrit yes Na no Chee in a hEARtbeat Ketrans hell no the moon-sized brain coral that trapped the Ellimist for several years yes Leerans no voidf 5. do you have a favorite way to do your nails like all the same color or alternating or designs or what? My favorite way to do my nails is NO WAY BECAUSE NAIL LACQUER IS A TRANSGRESSION BEFORE THE NAME but nah really it's just that the idea of something on my nails that is not nails is sensory hell, to the point where I feel uncomfortable looking at other people with painted nails 6. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without showering (doing something cool like camping for three weeks or something doesn’t count) Hahahahahaha um I would say 2 weeks tops? My mean time-to-shower has like. quadrupled over the last few years. 7. how many languages can you say dirty words in? & what are they? Russian, Arabic, English, French, wanna say German but I am like a little baby and can't remember any rn 8. who’s your most embarrassingly transparent favorite character who like Shaped you in a mortifying way? double points for homestuck Oh dear okay Karkat is like...my most embarrassingly transparent self-insert bc she's shouty and also a terrible egg baby and hates herself but in a really admiring way; character I was most embarrassingly Shaped by is...probably Marten from Questionable Content...bc he was chill at a time when I really needed to learn to be chill......ugh okay next 9. what’s the worst internet phenomenon you’ve ever had to explain to a family member? Uhhhh honestly my parents don't ask questions about memes or discourse but one time I described playing Smear the Q**** with the [redacted] Scouts and my dad was like "UM you do know that's a slur for gay people right?" and I was like "wait wtf BEN EARLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" so that was the worst thing I have ever explained to a family member 10. how bad is your handwriting? bonus points for posting a picture of it. CAN’T SEEM TO POST THE PICTURE I MADE FOR THIS but yeah my handwriting is 95% legible to me and 20% legible to a surprising number of people. It is very tall and skinny. 11. did he turn his hat around backwards? He Inverted The Direction Of His Head Adornment

I am tagging @galacsin @menderash @octobig @haretonearnshawismysonnow @itsady @73785733 @bimahbabe @with-amore-infinito @carpebutts uhhhhhh I am for real falling asleep as I consider the complicated social dynamics of who to tag/not tag so I am not going to make it a round 11 anyway question time Ctrl-X Ctrl-V let’s go

1. What's yr favorite reaction image? 2. If you're autistic or an autism cousin, what's an echo you have been fond of recently? 3. Which Carly Rae Jepsen song makes you feel the gayest? If you are unfamiliar with her body of work, which song in general makes you feel the gayest? 4. Give yourself a good good epithet. For instance, I am Lulavet, Mistress of the Endless Night! Get it cuz I don’t sleep ever. 5. Have you ever done a scavenger hunt? If yes, tell me the most memorable clue. If no, make up a scavenger hunt clue! 6. You're in a desert walking along in the sand. You look down and you see a tortoise. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and flip the tortoise on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over - but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that? 7. Recount a time you saw someone so attractive you just had to, like, lie down? 8. What's the most disconcerting game glitch you have ever seen? 9. What's your go-to condiment, when something tastes boring and you want it to not taste boring? 10. What is your most gender-affirming vestment/accessory? 11. Tell me about a character you made up! An original character, if you will.

[mvsicbookfrxndom]

OKAY, LISTEN UP, EVERYONE, 'CAUSE I HAVE THE BEST MOTHERFLIPPING STORY EVER TO TELL YOU!!!

Here's a mental image to paint in your mind:

A socially impaired, lonely teenage girl is hiding in the bedroom she shares with her younger sister from her parents, reading fanfiction on a device she isn't supposed to be using because she's a rule-breaking savage. It's spring break, which should be really fun and awesome, but it isn't because her home life isn't really all that great. Which is why she's hiding in the bedroom she shares with her younger sister from her parents.

She isn't just reading any old fanfiction, either. She's reading Monsieur George deValier's Hetalia: Axis Powers fanfics. They transport her to a world of ubiquitously inclusive homonormativity and give her hope that true love always wins in the end, because its love. No matter what gender anyone happens to love.

Her parents would pass out if they knew what kind of scandalous stories her eyes gobble up while they converse suspiciously about whether or not their rogue daughter is slitting her wrists upstairs.

Which she isn't. She's doing something almost more painful - imagining what it would be like to come out of the closet. To openly admit to the whole world that she isn't monosexual - in fact, she's the furthest thing from it. To have more accepting parents, to have more accepting people around her in general. To not be judged, to be safe in her home instead of being cast out, abandoned. To find her one true love and be devoted forever, whatever gender they might identify as, because that couldn't matter less to her.

George deValier's works have brought to her life a new dimension she never imagined she'd discover. She wishes she could meet him - who knows if he's even a man at all? - and hug him. Tell him he's changed her life forever. Thank him for existing. If only anyone knew who he was so this could happen.

TL;DR: I love George deValier more than my own family.

There's my "setting the scene" portion of this post. Now here comes the crazy story portion!

So I'm reading Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart, the first deValier work my eyes have ever had the blessing of experiencing, and there are no words - in any of the multiple languages I am fluent in - for how much it's affected me (not even French, the most romantic language on earth).

I've probably read half of the works on fanfiction.net and AO3 combined, but nothing has come even close to this. At all. The writing is sublime, the plots intricate beyond belief, and the character development positively shocking in its detail. The dedication and talent spent on this is almost scary to think about, not to mention the research that must have taken years to complete, so the stories could be as historically accurate as humanly possible. What's the point in writing fanfiction if this is what you're up against? I'm close to giving up one of my favorite things to do in the whole world because of how shook I am, but if this is how I go down, I'll be going down happy.

Though I've been reading for hours, I've only reached chapter 5, since my eyes have been taking their time to lasciviously devour every letter and fully grasp the meaning of each delicious sentence before allowing further conquest. However, I am no less enamored by the magnificent, captivating story than when I just started it at what seems like a lifetime ago.

As I near the end of ch.5, I almost screech out loud when I read the conversation between Feli and Ludwig about the latter's fighter aircraft Greta. About a quarter of the reason why is because Ludwig just confessed that there is no special girl of his, and my angsty soul is ripping me apart because I need one of them to confess their love for the other RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I'LL DIE.

The rest of the reason is because of who appeared in my mind when I read this scene. The worst person on the planet to think about when you're reading a homoerotic fanfiction is your female ELA teacher, but that's what happened, but not for the reasons you're undoubtedly assuming.

You see, my ELA teacher's name is Mrs. Schmit.

I lose my utter shit. I'm going insane, absolutely bonkers, over the fact that my freakin' ELA teacher's name is in this book, discounting the extra T. Of all the places to find her name, of all the things to remind me of her...

So I come up with the most bloody brilliant idea in the history of the world. I screenshot this section of the book, taking way longer than needed so I can be positive there's no evidence of two men lying next to each other in a field of flowers and tall grass having a "no homo, I'm just wondering, I'm not interested in you at all" chat about their lack of girlfriends to each other by making the font super big and swiping the page up so the dropdowns can conceal Feli's obviously masculine name. By the time I'm done working my magic, the conversation is cutesy and innocent, and, most importantly, there's no mention of anything scandalous. All that's left of the passage is the Greta Schmitt joke, which I consider adorable, clever, and laugh-out-loud funny. At the very least, it's mildly amusing.

Then I send her a picture attachment with the screenshot, along with this exact message, through my school email:

"Hi, Mrs. Schmit!

"I really hope you are having a fantastic spring break so far!

"I'm just sending you this email because I was reading a story and a little part of it brought you to mind immediately (for reasons that will become obvious if you look at the file I attached). This scene was also funny, so I thought it would be something interesting to send you. Maybe it will be a source of amusement for you during this leisurely time off from school.

"Have a great rest of your break, and see you on Monday!"

And then, of course, I sign off the email with my name.

The file I attach to the email is the original screenshot I took. The picture I've attached to this post is a screenshot of that screenshot as it appeared to my teacher. It's pretty meta and rad since I screenshot-ed the screenshot at the same time of the original screenshot one day later.

They're also the same except in the picture in this post, which is the latter picture, the portrait orientation lock is on and in the bottom left hand corner the previous page arrow isn't glowing. I feel the need to point these discrepancies out because they wreak havoc on my perfectionist OCD and if they are destroying you inside as well, I want you to know that I'm aware of these mistakes and I'm incredibly sorry.

On a lighter, less soul-crushing note, what about proposing a fun drinking game? Throw back some liquid every time the word "screenshot" appears in the paragraph before the one above. You'll be sloshed by the third sentence.

Oh yeah - and if you were wondering why my phone says 1:17 WD instead of AM or PM, that's because my device's preferred language is Oromoo. WD is ante meridiem - AM.

At first I hesitate to send the email immediately, because of the indecent time of day it is - i.e. not daytime at all - and the fear that I'll really piss off Mrs. Schmit by sending her a completely unnecessary email at 2 in the morning in a week when she shouldn't bother dealing with anything having to do with her students. It's break, after all.

And if there's one thing I don't want, it's Mrs. Schmit to be annoyed by me. Even though she's very intimidating and I can't help but be extremely scared of her, she's an absolutely fantastic teacher (though I don't think she'd believe me if I told her so) and I like her a lot as a person. Thus, I don't want her deductions on me to be negative, especially since I'm pretty sure she finds me very book smart with good grades, but flighty and scatterbrained (which I am, but not in a cool way). If this rather risky email backfires, it won't improve her opinion of me at all.

Another possibility also occurs to me - what if she finds out what kind of story the picture is from? Or the story itself? It wouldn't be hard at all; it would take me two milliseconds to locate that story. I could be in deep shit, but... In that moment, it doesn't matter to me. I'd probably laugh my ass off. She'd die of shock. It would be hilarious.

To be completely honest, I don't even enjoy the story more because of the gayness, or the lust, or the sex. Meaning, it seems more taboo that a presumably straight girl is reading a mildly erotic gay fanfiction as opposed to a straight one, presumably to get a sexual high from all the possibilities and fantasies manufactured by manipulated attraction, but for me that isn't it at all. The sex isn't even a bonus. I don't mind it, but it isn't the reason I love the story so much. If anyone saw me reading it, that's what they'd automatically think, but I'm not drawn to that. I'm asexual anyway, so I'm not even planning to ever have sex. It just doesn't have that allure or even stigma for me. An example: I occasionally watch porn, but it doesn't turn me on in the least, contrary to what one might assume. I just find it fascinating and laughable, not to mention disgusting and more proof of the downfall of humanity.

When I read books like George's, I adore them because of the writing prowess and talent. The plot twists. The characters. The worldbuilding. That's the shit I'm obsessed with. Not the literary porn in the least! Although it does provide amusement and intrigue.

I feel like I should just clear that up. I wish the story was more... ahem... appropriate, or my motivations for consuming it more ubiquitous, so I wouldn't have to worry about sending an appropriate snippet of it to my teacher, but it's George motherflippin' deValier, so nothing else needs to be said. It's perfect. (Just like you, dear beloved darling reading this!) No further explanation needed.

Also, I'm fairly certain her curiosity wouldn't be piqued enough to actually track the story from my email down, which is a comforting thought. Then again, every time I'm left alone with my thoughts, they conjure up an image of Mrs. Schmit sitting at a computer in a dark room, the artificial blue light illuminating her face as if she's some deep web underground black market Anonymous hacker, Googling the transcript of the fated snapshot, her green eyes widening as she begins reading.

I fucking hate my brain. It hates me too.

So before I can change my mind, I hit send and continue through the glorious Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart, a devilish, Alfred F. Jones-type smile spreading across my face. There's no going back now. It is done.

Exceeding my highest expectations regarding a response, I don't even need to wait a full 24 hours before my unread emails total increases by one.

To anyone who's gotten the far, it's been an unjustly long post in the making. The moment you've all been waiting for with an anticipation that rivals that of a beat drop in a particularly lit dubstep track. Don't get too excited, though, because I have this frustrating habit of letting people down and I have a feeling this is no exception. You know, since you're all the way down here, you deserve a treat. What'll it be? Tea and biscuits? Nachos? Poutine? It's up to you. Ask and you shalt receive. I am your humble servant, friends.

Here is her response to my groundbreaking, world-changing email:

"Hi __{my_name}__,

"Yes, that was cute and made me smile!!! I hope your Spring Break is going well.

"Thank you,

" "Messerschmitt" "

DID YOU SEE THAT, GUYS???

SHE PUT THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND SIGNED OFF AS "MESSERSCHMITT".

I HAVE WON LIFE! I'VE SUCCEEDED! I AM A CHAMPION!!!

Mon Dieu, she liked the deValier excerpt. She made a fucking reference to it. She's got to be my favorite teacher now.

Don't know how to end this, so I guess...

...y'all, we need to start an international manhunt for our Lord and Savior George deValier. If we find him I can do all the things I said I would. If I get cancer, that's what I'll ask Make-A-Wish.

HIS STORIES NEED TO BE MOVIES I SWEAR TO HIMA-PAPA OR ELSE...

ok I'm done now

[andseperand]

thoughts

ive been sitting on this post for the better part of a year. i tried to read through it and make edits, but im going to have to post this as is. maybe ill be able to edit it someday. anyway, this is completely composed of spoilers.

tl;dr: i mostly wrote bitterness about “kung food,” “origins part 1,″ and “reflekta.”

these are my thoughts on what ive watched of the first season of miraculous ladybug (i have watched most of every episode except the last three).

i may be confused or misinformed on some points. some of this is not as serious as other parts, and the writing style is disjointed because i didnt write it all in one go. any links are formatted within brackets (as in [text]).

ordered by the order i initially watched (parts of) the episodes in and indicated by villain name somehow (english, korean, french, french translation, etc.).

stormy weather/climatika

why did alya just toss manon like that? she couldve hurt something just being thrown around with her tiny little bones and joints that lack any significant cushioning. not to mention that her neck is completely unsupported. safety, much?

the bubbler/le bulleur

so the record is fully functional but also survived getting smacked off a building on its edge? wow.

copycat/l’imposteur/the imposter

i get that alya is supposed to be that “go-getter” friend who pushes marinette to be brave, but honestly, if she had waited another minute for marinette to be more ready for making a phone call, this wouldve been less of a mess. yeah, i get the “pushing boundaries to build confidence,” but honestly we could have waited for marinette to stop stalking adrien, too.

i gotta say: marinette is truly fearless. my phone is so suspicious. i would not have the confidence to deliberately touch it with my face and risk contact with who knows what has been on it.

the “moral” or whatever of this episode is kind of unclear? steal someones phone and run into issues with security but then also somehow break into it and get what you want anyway? no, thats not okay. its not that funny that marinette legitimately stole someones phone, and she doesnt even get seriously reprimanded for this.

timebreaker/chronogirl

one of the most pressing questions i have for this episode is why no one thought of using pockets or a bag or something to hold this important watch. hand perspiration is pretty bad for a lot of older and newer mechanical objects alike. why is this clearly-important item treated any different? ive considered both the “tikki is in the bag” (doesnt mean it has to be marinettes bag) and the “girl pockets” (marinette designed her own clothes, though) possibilities, and im still stumped.

mister/monsieur/mr./m. pigeon

how did chloe know what the colors were or even what the embroidery pattern looked like from a pencil sketch? it looked like chicken scratch.

lady wifi

im not sure that “dont violate other peoples privacy” was very well stated, seeing as alya was landed with an unfairly harsh punishment due to corrupt politicians. and how did that get resolved, anyway? was she still suspended? was there even supposed to be a moral in this mess?

the pharaoh/le pharaon

the villain is a pharaoh, continuing the ages-long trend of pretending ancient egyptian culture is just ~so interesting~ and that its portrayal isnt exploitative at all. i cant really say much about this, but i dont like those special ancient egypt episodes of anything.

rogercop

a mess

im pretty sure that this was to save animation budget or something, but why was marinette picking up those croissants off the floor and arranging them so nicely as if it really mattered what she did with them besides cleaning up the spill? i guess ill let it slide if shes trained that way as an advertising thing (though advertising doesnt get a free pass by default just because its strange).

the evillustrator/evil artist/le dessinateur

off topic, but could that tablet also erase or create living beings?

dark cupid/le dislocoeur/heartbreaker

this was still technically a kiss without consent? doesnt really feel all that romantic and whatnot. i cant really get behind this as shipping material.

horrificator

side note: i really liked how chloes english voice actor delivered the lines mockingly announcing mylenes “award” in the beginning.

im not a fan of the “you must kiss as part of acting” plot point. it always gives off those peer pressure vibes from other people and opportunistic vibes from main characters who want to actually kiss the other person.

darkblade/le chevalier noir/the black knight

sabrina is honestly super lucky that marinette made her box have a hole big enough for super tiny animated character wrists or else she wouldve been in a world of more pain.

alya had a platform? im so confused about how this election worked. did they do ballots or some sort of “heads down” in-class vote thing?

the/le mime

seeing as people dont lose their memories of being attacked by the villains, i really dont see how tearing down the eiffel tower (even in an animated show where people are not in the structure at the time) is the best way to minimize traumatic experiences. i get that it was supposed to be a “wow” moment for the plot and just visual effects but not the appeal.

kung food

the second i ever laid my eyes on this name i knew it would be bad, i just didnt know how bad because there were just so many ways it couldve gone with that phrase and i didnt know what to expect until i actually watched the episode. more on this in a bit.

there was literally no point to having the famous chef be related to marinette other than contrived circumstances to get adrien into this episode. im using this as a launching off point for talk of other stuff.

why didnt marinettes parents do anything about a relative coming to their house? this really baffles me because they have their daughter meet an effective stranger with no help.

why didnt marinettes parents tell her what languages the relative spoke? honestly, it kind of seems like they just didnt even care if this would cause her extreme anxiety or anything. you would really think they would have at least discussed this as a family because it was made pretty clear that his visit was actually expected. i thought way higher of their characters until it seemed that they pulled this crap move.

i know it was supposed to be all cute and a bonding moment when adrien came over to translate, but it was even more of a disaster. why did they take a car literally around the corner to get to the hotel? why didnt the chef go directly to the hotel if it was so close? was that adriens car? who was in charge of organizing this event and making sure the contestants didnt end up in the wrong place? how in the world did the chef even get to the bakery? because of the close proximity of the hotel to the bakery, it doesnt make sense that he would go to the bakery instead from an airport or something? unless he was supposed to meet his relatives? which, in this case, was not facilitated at all? so many questions are raised.

i dont speak nor understand mandarin, but im pretty sure adriens wasnt good enough for him to actually be complimented for it. then again, its nothing new to see white people getting complimented for deigning to learn a ~foreign language~ while i get interrogated about my lack of “authenticity” for not speaking “my native tongue,” so i guess the writers were just being realistic.

he bowed...funny story, at least one time i went to a restaurant with other visibly asian people and the apparently-white waiter kept making this weird head bobbing motion every time they left the table and what im saying here is that i know adrien has presumably been learning about culture stuff, but i also know firsthand that creators really love to shove bowing into media whenever asian people show up. (that waiter did give us extra mints, so i guess that was nice.)

sarcasm alert: i love when ~asian~ people have ~asian~ accents. its not like this is a tired gimmick that i dont need to see literally everywhere i turn (oh, wait! according to the english version, it is! hooray for me! this is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me ever! im not being sarcastic at all! or overly sarcastic to the point where im sarcastically putting in that everything ive written in this paragraph is sarcastic because im just so mad! or maybe it definitely is! it probably is all sarcasm!) [bonus sarcasm here]

the chefs english/default dub language fluency was either inconsistent or this was just a straight-up rude portrayal of a nonnative speaker of a language, because adrien didnt seem to wait five seconds (for the chef to even consider the question about what he was cooking) before talking to the chef (and naturally, being a polite person, the chef listened to what adrien was saying), and i feel like it was only for the sake of adrien being ~useful~ because right after that, he talks to the chef in english/whatever language? dont think i didnt notice that his english speaking got “better” after becoming a villain. you know, if they hadnt faked the accent in the first place, they wouldnt have had to hastily cover for the fact that their voice actor couldnt even execute it well.

im sure adrien and marinette tag-teaming to argue with chloe and her racist comments was supposed to be this whole “wow look at that team” deal, but it felt like adrien was shoehorned into this mess sloppily. woohoo for the white boy defending marinette because she cant do it herself or something! i do appreciate when white people help stand up for me, but in this context, it feels off.

i have such a big problem with the “pep talk” adrien gives marinette when she thinks the chef doesnt like her. first thing, white boy explaining things about a person of color to a person of color, and the two people are actually literally related? i think the bouquet misunderstanding was really bizarre, and when did adrien have time to gain all this extensive exposition? the interview when they first arrived was short, and i dont think that both adrien and the chef would be so rude as to exclude marinette from their conversation in the car on the way over. this just comes off as a way to have adrien ~encouraging~ marinette, and its not a very good one.

this supposedly super prestigious competition literally has no security to make sure no one is mucking around behind the scenes, let alone ensure that the contestants arent up to any funny business. because why not. and no cameras around either, because cooking-based television programs never show any cooking, just the tasting and subsequent subjugation by a villain (this is a sarcastic sentence). even if this is supposed to be a featured dish and thus one they dont want to showcase the recipe behind, they could still have those little soundbites interspersed with candid panorama shots (can you tell i have no idea what any of these words mean?). im just going to have to chalk this one up to animation budget and move on.

i know this was just a sort of (intendedly funny) visual thing, but i highly doubt that the objects chloe put in the soup could just go unnoticed, especially since i presume a chef would thoroughly stir (and taste) their cooking, and the soup didnt appear to have properties of decomposing things touching it. otherwise that tasting session would probably have turned out a little messier (i am completely kidding here).

why is the chef being upset about being sabotaged made into a ~cultural~ thing? why is a white boy telling marinette about her ~own~ culture? sheesh, its like you cant just be upset because your shot at a world title was ruined on live television and you have confirmation that you were deliberately sabotaged. yes, chloe did it because shes petty and racist, but the results of her actions could upset anyone! its not just because the chef is chinese! what is the point of saying that? its a pointless throwaway comment! why dont you just find some other way to get the chef alone so he can be become a villain that isnt a) nonsensical and b) making sweeping generalizations about people? (granted, i cant speak to the validity of anything said about cultures, but i sure can comment on why saying such things about them isnt okay regardless).

“kung food” oh my god. this is such a piece of crap name. it is racist. you can literally try to argue against this until youve gone far beyond oxygen deprivation and in a grave but itll still be racist by the time youre done. aside from the pharaoh, there arent a bunch of ~ethnic~ names (not that it would be okay for that to be the case anyway) running around, and yet we get one with this specific villain whose ethnic and national origin is talked to death? okay.

and ive seen this pointed out, but the villain appearance seems to have a kind of anime-inspired design, which is honestly a good laugh because who was just talking about not conflating china and japan again? weeaboos and sinaboos are often in the same boat.

okay, not related, but adrien just had to taste a suspicious substance off the floor. why. there are so many ways to figure out what a substance is before putting it in your mouth. or you could just not do that at all. before this point, they did not appear to suspect a food-related villain, so this couldve ended badly.

another side note: i dont know how that receipt retained its integrity long enough for ladybug to wrap the villain up after dipping it in the soup. do the magical items just have super special properties like extra toughness that allows them to defy the reality of paper receipts? i wonder how many of the things ive talked about in this post have been me marveling at the sturdiness of lucky charm items.

of course this turns into an ~accountability~ lesson for marinette. and chloe doesnt get reprimanded? yeah, she got booted off a panel she didnt even want to be on and no one actually clearly articulated to her that the things she said were absolutely unacceptable? then again, this is a “diversity episode,” so i dont know why my standards are so high.

wow, marinette really needed to have adrien encourage her before going to take a picture with her great-uncle? im going to be generous and allow that she wanted to make sure he would be okay with her ditching him for her much cooler great-uncle because she didnt want him to feel bad about how not-cool he is in comparison. there, you see what i mean about making up story elements? (though im really not much of a writer, oops.)

im so over people making fun of how others dress as a joke. before i realized that i am autistic and reflected back on my life, i didnt realize that i gravitate toward clothing i find comfortable rather than fashionable, and ive always gotten negative comments, ill-intended or otherwise. so i really didnt appreciate marinettes jab at chloe, even if it was to defend herself. it was just unnecessary.

i want to talk about the whole ~chinese representation~ thing in this show. yeah, i know marinette is one of the very few chinese and mixed main characters out there (and there are barely any that are both), but im going to be super honest about this: i dont think shes all that great. i am a big fan of her and this show, but that doesnt make it infallible. the fact that adrien of all people is telling her about her own culture is a huge failing in itself. i dont know everything about my own cultures, but its not cool to have a literal outsider being shown to be the expert on someones culture and be the one to guide them through that. theres barely any portrayal of sino stuff in the show as is, and i hate the way this is only shown as a kind of special episode topic. i would be way more fine with this if this wasnt basically the sole instance of discussion of marinettes heritage. and no, the fact that her mother wears stereotypical clothing doesnt count. at all.

okay, this has been a huge issue for me before and after this point, but it was in this episode that it was made abundantly clear just what we are dealing with. i know that it is completely possible, genetically speaking, for a mixed chinese and white person to have blue eyes. its also completely possible for a chinese person to have gray eyes even without being mixed (i say this because i dont know if her mother is monoracial). however, if you only have two confirmed recurring characters of chinese descent, and their eye colors are ~special~ colors...well, thats kind of iffy there. why is it that the minor chinese character has stereotypical eyes? theyre basically just expanded pupils for all intents and purposes, which is not the problem, because its possible to have irises that are so dark as to make figuring out whether they have a distinguishable brown tint to them really hard. anyway, i suppose i dont want to talk about things ahead in the season, but why is it that the background asian characters get the stereotypical eyes but the main characters who are asian get the special eye colors? (that was a rhetorical question. i know exactly why.)

im pretty that at some point in the creation of this villain name, someone patted themself on the back for being so ~clever~ like “haha kung food geddit? its like kung fu but with food because im actually not that creative and more racist than i would like to openly admit.” okay, i know im being a bit harsh. but its really annoying when one of the few things people “know” about sino people is that kung fu exists. and honestly, i kind of suspected this, but ive seen other people say that the villain more resembles a villain from anime, so...thats kind of disrespectful there...

the/le gamer

i really disliked marinettes combo move names. they all had ~asian~ words like lotus, jade, oriental, etc.

animan

i find the sniffing scene to be kind of creepy. personal space much?

the city has really high quality buses. i cant believe the bus didnt end up backfiring on their plan because if i know anything about buses its that the ones ive seen are probably way older and more decrepit than me.

antibug

how do the earrings work in this setting? as far as i can tell, it would make sense for chloe to have pierced ears and a pair of ladybug imitation earrings that she could put it, but how is it possible that ladybug was able to just pull the earrings off? because that could be a really, really messy situation if they are actually piercings with backings and everything, but is there an explanation for this? magnets, clips, anything?

the puppeteer/le marionnettiste

can that glowing bright red effect that comes from her yo-yo and the power cord being swung around just for the viewers, or can it actually be seen in-universe? or is that a null point because both items are generated by ladybugs magic?

reflekta

this show really didnt need any “haha look a ~guy~ in a dress” jokes. and honestly, this was ill handled (though arguably, its very existence was ill handled). first of all, im not the best judge of this kind of thing, but to me, ladybug felt out of character while mocking chat noir? honestly, marinette doesnt strike me as the type of person to find that kind of situation funny in the first place, so the premise doesnt really hold up in my opinion. i know marinette can make mistakes, but youd really think she would be more open to not thinking this way because she knows what its like to be bullied for other things. moving on... [though, to reiterate]

the way this was not addressed? at all? yeah, ladybug apologized for that one comment at the beginning of their conversation, but then she continued to make jokes at chat noirs expense, and it just wasnt as funny as it was probably intended to be?

i know the whole thing about ambiguous chronology, but there is no reason ladybug wouldnt take chat noirs opinion into account when planning for things anyway. it felt like that part was written specifically so he could “prove” his worth to the rest of the episode and ensure that, yes, he is still allowed to be in it after being turned into a reflekta lookalike, and the whole thing smacks of trying to write out of a corner...that was written into in the first place. if it hadnt gone the route it did with the mocking of appearances, i dont think it would have had to be as convoluted as it ended up being.

i personally dont care for high heels, but i dont get the kind of “fashion cracks” that were being made about them. like yes, high heels can be hard to move in? yeah, it isnt fun being turned into the appearance of someone who isnt you against your will? i just dont understand this gag.

guitar villain

did ladybug really honestly just full-on spray someone in the face with the contents of an aerosol can? im aware that the point was that the hair was in front of his face, but what if some had gotten into guitar villains eyes? dang, what if someone tries to emulate this in real life? ouch.

digital/numeric

kind of done with the spotlight on stalking behavior this show has.

marinette still shows no fear of suspicious screens. she continues to use parts of her face to touch one multiple times, never mind that she literally flings her yoyo all over the place.

stoneheart/coeur de pierre i

did marinette have pierced ears in the first place? shes not shown taking any earrings out, and we dont get that clear a view of her earlobes anyway. that might be deliberate for modeling budget and all.

master fu has brown eyes. so thats like four ~chinese~ characters that are in this show, and the main character and her mother have the special eye colors, and the minor character who is somewhat important to the plotline has non-black eyes, and the minor one-episode character has the black eyes. what a shining example of diversity (no).

anyway this is a good point to say that some things are just not for you. there are things that you just cant be a part of no matter how much you want to be because it just doesnt work that way. and the mess that is the miraculous “mythology” is definitely an example of this. i myself have very little knowledge of anything sino, but i sure as heck can spot that this...”history” thing is so off.

at this point i should probably mention i really dislike master fu as a character in general. just as a single point, apparently hes based off the teacher character in karate kid? i saw somewhere that the creator said he basically made marinette mixed because he was dating an asian person when he was thinking about the show and that marinette is basically his idea of their mixed kid? and back to the eye color thing (again), ive even seen someone with green eyes and blue hair suggest to him that they could be the child of marinette and adrien, and he said theyre like his grandchild? (im not really inclined to try to dig up an iron-clad, indisputably genuine source for this right now, but if youre honestly searching for completely serious, well-researched information in a really good quality post, this is not the post you are looking for.) i have no idea where i was even going with this paragraph.

stoneheart/coeur de pierre ii

why is marinette so invested in her crush on adrien? this couldve been a sweet crush, but no, she has to make it so creepy? leading up to this episode, i really didnt know what to expect because i really thought there would be some sort of explanation for just how extreme the lengths marinette goes to are, but from what i can tell, shes just being super invasive? the ambiguous timeline doesnt really help with this, nor does the fact that the origins episodes were aired at the end of the season. whatever characterization was supposed to be inferred from this feels choppy and unnecessary.

simon says/jackady/jacques a dit

i dont really blame her, but ladybug totally could have reduced the level of adrien distractedness going on here. shes previously shown signs of compartmentalizing ladybug and even having to face the fact that it isnt worth using up her power over adrien, but gosh golly, what gives?

princess/princesse fragrance

ive seen criticisms of how ladybug was written to be overly competent in this episode, which i think is fair since it keeps happening, and its so late in the season by this point that its gotten tired.

volpina

i try not to be too judgmental, but frankly, adrien is not that great of a prize.

anyway, from what i can tell about this episode, i think that there was too much on marinettes flaws, which i really think is a bit much to have in the last chronological episode of a season. its already been established that she makes mistakes with her decisions, but i just thought her unequal prioritization of adrien was too much. it just seemed contrived to squeeze in scenes that the creators wanted to animate regardless of overall context in the show, which is really unfortunate because of how the show becomes a little less chronologically ambiguous at this point.

[raequaza]

Every single tea! As for matcha: what is your best work experience

Ask anon is that you? I missed you!

Long post so under the cut!

1. Rosehip tea: Which book did you love when you were younger?

I don’t really know. Hm I used to read so much that I can’t remember all the titles. I remember there was this one I used to take out of my elementary school library that I loved, and it was about all sorts of strange creatures, but fuck if I can remember what it was called XD Also loved Harry Potter of course, Series of Unfortunate Events, Goosebumps (I owned all but 9 of the originals), and the Eric Wilson mystery novels.

2. Oolong tea: Which book series could you read again?

Harry Potter, and the Dan Brown series (Da Vince Code, Angels and Demons, ect). As well as Sherlock Holmes.

3. Rooibos: What is one of you favourite books?

Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palanuik.

4. Strawberry tea: Tell me about your first kiss, if you had one.

Ahhh guess that would have been with my first ex. We kissed at some point. But I try to block all memory of that bitch outta my head, so I don’t have details.

5. Apple tea: Tell me about your first break up, if you had one.

Well, I let this girl move in with me and my mom to get her away from her controlling family. She told me that because she was assaulted (which was a lie) she could never be with a man. And then proceeded to cheat on my with a dude. Tried to say she was gonna move to a different city to continue school, and we agreed to break up because of the distance. But really she stayed in the city and moved in with the dude she was cheating on me with. They’re married now apparently. Great first relationship right?

6. Earl Grey: Which countries have you visited?

Just my wonderful home country! And I’ve only been out of province once.

7. Chai: Where do you want to travel next?

I mean either than the coast for a concert in August, Alberta! I’ve never been!

8. Darjeeling: What languages do you speak?

English....and English. I know a few words in French, Japanese, Spanish, and Russian. But nothing to be able to hold a conversation. At all.

9. Hop tea: Do you have a favourite tea? Which one?

Ahaha I’m a plain jane earl grey kinda gal. I do really like jasmine as well though.

10. Herbal tea: Which person would you chose to travel the world with?

My bestest buddy, or my mom.

11. Nettle tea: Are you jealous on a person? Why?

I am assuming that should say ‘jealous of a person’. And the answer is no.

12. Ice tea: Do you miss somebody? Why?

My second ex. She was a very dear friend of mine before we started dating...and I really miss her. There were things her and I enjoyed that no one else I know enjoys really, so it’s been hard. We said we could be friends when we broke up, but she needed time. So i’m hoping for the best....

13. Yellow tea: What shampoo do you use?

Well my mom works for a professional stylist supply store, so generally whatever she brings home. But I’m very fond of the Hempz brand. And for store bought stuff, head and shoulders.

14. Peppermint tea: What is your favourite gif at the moment?

I...don’t think I have one? I hardly pay attention to gifs anymore. But anything with cats is always A+

15. Ceylon tea: Do you have a song you like, but have bad memories with?

Believer - Kill Hannah. I use music to express myself in general. I find it easier. This one I use when I’ve been hurt by a close friend. And it has happened enough times, that my bestest friend cannot stand listening to this song. But if I don’t need it in the moment, than it always brings back the memories of those fights.

16. Hibiscus tea: What is a song you can always hear?

Time to Dance (Demo Version) by Panic! at the Disco, As the World Falls Down by David Bowie, Take on Me by A-Ha, The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars.

17. Flowering tea: What is a movie you can always watch?

Labyrinth. It’s my all time favorite! Also the original Nightmare on Elm Street series. Cause that’s hilarious.

18. Pu-erh tea: What is a book you can recommend to others?

Read the Robert Langdon series by Dan Brown. Seriously, they’re all so good and the movies don’t do them justice.

19. Turkish tea: What is your favourite cake?

Well, I can’t eat it any more, but I’ve always loved Black Forest cake. Chocolate and cherries? Yes please!

20. Green tea: What was the first movie you saw in a cinema?

I remember seeing Toy Story 2 in theaters....I think that was the earliest one I can remember. I would have been like 5. I’m sure my mom took me to other movies, but I don’t remember them.

21. Blueberry-Muffin tea: Tell me a memory, which makes you smile.

Walking in a storm. Headphones in, music blaring, rain pouring in buckets, thunder, and sheet lightning that lit the sky purple when it flashed. I LOVED it.

22. Panda tea: Do you have pets? Which one?

I personally have one cat. He is a devon rex mix. And just so fluffy....and a brat. In my house though, there is another cat (a tuxedo named Dusk) and so many fish. My mom has 3 aquariums.

23. Butter tea: Show / Tell me about one thing i your room you find awesome.

My Voltron Wall! Art done by the wonderfully talented @socij​

24. Hot chocolate: Do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? Which one(s)?

Yeaaaah. Most of them are tucked away in my closet so they are out of sight, but I have a pink rabbit out, and a Treecko plush as well. (in my closet I have a few more anime plushes, quite a few scooby doo ones (including a 3 foot one) and a bunch of my faves from childhood.

25. 24 flavors: What is your favourite word?

I don’t use it often, but Enigmatic.

26. Jasmin tea: Can you draw / paint? Wanna show me something?

Can’t do either. All my friends have the art talent, not me. I do have a picture of the best thing I ever drew though....but tumblr won’t let me post it. It was an eye, but like manga style. 

27. Kombucha: What do you order on a pizza?

Well it’s gotta be thin crust and without cheese, but always ham, pineapple (shush pineapple haters), bacon, and black olives!

28. Cloud tea: Which movie do you want to watch next?

Aha, probably the Mamma Mia sequel. I do love me some ABBA music. But other than that, The Spy Who Dumped Me.

29. Gunpowder tea: If you had the chance: would you go to space?

Absolutely! Stars, less people, and did i mention stars?

30. Matcha: Bonus question of you choice! I might answer… Best Work Experience.

My first job in this city. It was late, usually getting off around midnight, but I had a blast. It was just me and the boss making gluten free crackers for her local business. She always had the radio playing and would sing and dance along. She was so sweet.

[perdudanslesbenedictions]

What just happened?

Yesterday morning I got some upsetting news... I lost my long term substitute teaching job. I will admit, I am not highly qualified as I am a French major who was teaching Spanish. That is besides the point. The job was challenging and stressful, but I feel the need to be somewhat involved in education. It is so important to me, a person who struggled in school, to give back to the next generation.

Part of that message is all “kumbaya my lord” and part of it is teaching children to be decent human beings... This includes disciplinary action. It all started maybe less than two months ago when I took a substitute teaching job at my little brothers school. A ‘Christian’ school. The position was underpaid, but I took it to help out. The school was desperate to hire an Anglo/Francophone- American  to teach Spanish. I figured they would find someone more qualified quickly... But of course not. My first day I worked with 8th graders who were awesome! I miss them already. I could always count on them to help me through the lessons and keep me on point as much as I kept them on point. 7th grade was a different story. They loved to piss me off and act like toddlers for 40 minutes. Getting them to come to class on time was impossible and the talking never ended. They deliberately disrespected me. Most of them lacked the ability to even think they were doing anything wrong having a full fledged conversation at a normal volume while I was teaching. There was no effort to even whisper or hide it. During daily work, this can be some-what  expected. These are 7th grade students with a lot of drama and personality and I get it. However, when it came time for the first exam... This would not be tolerated. It is a very personal issue for me, as even in my adult life, I have struggled with fair testing environments. Two years ago while I was taking a language exam for my company I failed, in part due to my lack of oral comprehension, but also due to not having a fair testing environment with people sitting right next to me speaking another language, while I was taking my exam. In school I needed extra time on tests and had to study twice as much to barely succeed on exams due to some, at a time, horrendous disabilities, like anxiety, depression, and some other stuff I don’t know the name of.

So back to 7th exam day...

It was time for our first exam. I made it clear that “talking during the exam=Cheating=Failing the exam”. Some students with pure intentions tried to clarify directions with one another. I politely explained that even though I knew they were not cheating, it could be misunderstood. Their was another group of students who again, not only talked during the exam, but had a full fledged exam while students were sitting with their exams still sitting in front of them. As any teacher should, I failed them on their exams. They not only violated academic honesty, they created a horrendous testing environment. Another boy even went as far as to back his chair into another student. I was finished with the behavior of these despicable children and their fantastic ability to distract the students who wanted to learn and do well. It is also clearly unfair that these students were able to have a conversation and possibly exchange test answers with one another. I held these students after class and sent a note home with them to be signed by their parents. The note basically said that their student had facilitated cheating on an exam and created a distracting environment for others. I was to give 50% of their original score if the parents were to sign the note and return it to me. I made sure that this was okay by my supervisor. I even, without knowing, followed the school’s procedures for Academic honesty. Of course in the days of entitlement (from students and their parents) and zero discipline, there was some serious backlash. Parents called the school, some wanting more explanation... Others to try and negotiate the bad grade their student would receive. Surprisingly, the principal took their side stating that “students should not be punished with their grades”. The assistant principal took my side and said that he had been trying to catch one of the students cheating for some time. We both thought that maybe our boss just needed further explanation. So I sent emails with further explanation to my boss and parents. Then I taught one more day and little did I know this would be my last.

I had a relaxing almost week off and had a fantastic thanksgiving with all the grading and work that was to be done to ensure the success of these students at the back of my mind. Literally the whole break I had some anxiety about getting ahead with grading and lesson plans. Finally after working the entire weekend waiting tables at my other job, I gained the motivation to grade a ton of papers and the horrendous 7th grade exams. Most students did okay, and as usual I gave lovely bonus questions which saved a lot of grades. The bonus questions were not only a beacon of hope for them, but for me. It was a chance to see if the kids were really learning anything from me. Some of them were! It was amazing to see the resilience of these students who were on their 3rd Spanish teacher. It was a night of reflection and planing. I stayed up until about 3 writing the 8th grade exam. I even came up with ideas for the final projects and what review they needed to come out of this whole mess with a basic knowledge of Spanish by the end of the year. I went to bed with a new air of confidence.

At 8:20am I got a horrifying phone call from my mother, who runs the before and after school program. Her first words to me “okay, brace yourself!” Some parents apparently went on a witch hunt for my Facebook. Obviously it was one of the students who cheated on their exam. They found my Facebook, which does not even have my real name on it, and looked for anything and everything to throw me under the bus. What did they find? Open discussion about homosexuality, a few F bombs, and my messenger username... YoungDum&fullof... I never stated what I was full of! It could be bravery, love, blood, shit, or yes CUM. These people have no appreciation for the fine art of Haiku poetry... It doesn’t have to rhyme! Anyhow, besides bad poetry... Yeah they basically fired me because I have public homosexuality online... On a profile that doesn’t have my real name on it. Ridiculous!

Does it upset me that the school fired me because of my sexual preferences? Yeah, a little. But let’s be real here. Am I the perversion or is it their maleficent children who cheated on their exams? A parent made a career threatening move against me because they couldn’t bare to believe that their little ‘angel’ cheated on their fucking exam, that is more evil than any homosexual act I can think of. Am I the perversion or is this school who’s principal personally stood by discrimination and more importantly academic dishonesty? But okay, yeah, blame it on my Facebook. What ever makes it easier for these fucked up people to sleep at night.

So what have I learned? This is the ‘Christian’ religion. A belief system that supports judgement and dishonesty. I am never stepping foot in a Church ever again. I am an abomination to them. This event represents the masses of fundamentalist ‘Christians’, who protest funerals, refuse service in their establishments, and fail to read their own book called “The Bible”. I am done with the hatred and ignorance. I have right wing republican friends who I have accepted for so long, who do not approve of LGBTQ rights, that uphold conservative beliefs... The truth is. I no longer have any tolerance for people who have no tolerance. I am who I am. I like what I like. If you dislike or disagree... It’s so simple, SOD OFF! They think their behavior is justified by their fucking religion and it’s not okay. How can society be so backwards that this is okay? I am not going to fight for my rights in this God forsaken place when there exist places that will accept me for who I am.

[marysuereactors]

Jane Anemone Smith - Percy Jackson

Hi ! I’m sending you an Percy Jackson OC for a review, if you’re not too busy. English is not my first language and I’m translating this, so I apologize for the mistakes you’ll probably find here <.< Thanks a lot for your time !

 BLARGHHHH SORRY SOMEHOW THE POST GOT FUCKED UP BUT DON’T WORRY WE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL-- The mods are out so this is Vixel speaking.

Full name : Jane Anémone Smith

Interesting name, I like it.

Godly parent : Lethe. The first reaction for most people about it is usually « Wait, isn’t that a river ? ». Lethe was/is actually also a goddess. However, the thing about Lethe’s children is that no one remembers them. Jane is always being forgotten, almost immediately. Actually, Percy and Nico remembered her. Nico because he’s the son of Hades and she’s linked to the Underworld through her mother ; and Percy because she’s linked to a river, which is… Well, water. Lethe, here, is considered being linked to the river. She can be seen as the human form of the river. It means that only sons/daughters of Hades or Poseidon, and eventually a few children of Hecate can remember her, but that still requires lots of efforts. And since there are plenty of sons of Poseidon and Hades… There aren’t many people to remember her. Lethe doesn’t have her own cabin - she’s probably been forgotten, or maybe she forgot to ask for it, and anyway, she doesn’t have many children. Or rather, Lethe might not remember who her children are. Lethe is an unbelievably vague person. Jane has never met any of her brother/sister. If she really spends a lot of time with people, they will end up remembering her, but if they stay away, they will forget everything about her again (it’s like learning something new : if you study it several times, you will learn it correctly, but you may forget everything if you don’t go back to it every now and then)

I... Well, yes the rivers used to be gods/goddesses and are capable of spawning children, but... rivers usually spawn nymphs if anything. I’m not entirely sure if you can get a demigod out of Lethe, but a nymph sure can... Just... I’m gonna continue reading.

Also I should mention, there was a nymph of the river Acheron (river of pain I think) and I don’t recall her giving pain to people who pass her by or see her. I give bonus points for creativity on the not remembering part, but, I think you should maybe check more into the rivers and having children. Meaning/origin of the name : Her father just liked the name « Jane », and he had an ancestor who was named « Anémone » (french). However, here, « Jane » can make you think to « Jane Doe », and in « Anémone », there is « nemo »,  which means « no one » or « nobody » in latin. As for Smith, it’s a very common name. And Jane is very common… [Of course, it’s just a coincidence. Her father wasn’t thinking « Hey, which generic name could I pick for her ? ». However, Jane finds it very ironic that even the part of her name that’s supposed to be original, Anémone, can be linked to that kind of things]

Hm... uh... Well, I guess it passes. I dunno, the Anemone part kind of bothers me but we’ve had other out of the world names in PJO I believe so it works. Nicknames : Mostly « Hey, you ! ». Her father calls her « Mona » sometimes, in reference to Anémone. Most of the time, people don’t remember her name anyway, so it’s already great when they call her Jane. Gender : female Age : 16 Appearance : Straight brown hair. She usually have a ponytail, because they’re long, but she prefers when she lets her hair down. However, in the Camp, it might be dangerous, so she just ties them up most of the time. She also has brown eyes. She doesn’t have any scar, piercing, tattoo, or any distinguish feature. If you do look at her very carefully, you can notice that she doesn’t have any beauty spot at all, on her entire body. It’s actually rather weird and can make you feel slightly uncomfortable, though it’s hard to tell why. Other then that, well, she’s exactly the kind of girl no one would remember. Normal height, normal weight, not looking ugly but not specially pretty,… Normal. Actually, changing her appearance could be a way to be more «  noticeable », but she has already tried it. She tried a lot of different hair colors, lots of jewelry, clothes from insane colors… The result is always the same. No one looks at her for more than a couple of seconds. Plus, she actually doesn’t like being noticed too much. Not that it ever really happened, so, well, she’s not used to it. When Percy or Nico talked to her or just remembered her name, she absolutely didn’t know how to react.

I mean... Okay. The appearance is fine and her changing her clothes often is pretty neat on the other hand. Still a little iffy about that last paragraph, but... I’ll see it to the end. Personality : she’s a rather shy girl, and that’s what most people see about her. Shyness. Truth is, she’s rather smart. She has an amazing memory, which is quite ironic. She thinks she should be used to people not remembering her, but she still feels bad about it when it happens. What hurts her the most is that, though Nico and Percy remember her, they don’t realize what’s really happening to her (but that’s mostly her fault, since she didn’t explain it to Percy). She’s also a very nice person, very empathic, and it comes from the fact that she spends most of her time watching people. She’s a good listener, but she can be a bit awkward and boring, since she’s not used to social interaction. She’s always wondering what her life would be if people could remember her. She’s not even blaming them anymore. What for ? They can’t help it. No one can, not even her mother. Sometimes, she just thinks it’s no one’s fault and takes it rather well ; but on other days, she just hates everyone and feels awful about it. She laughs very easily, and loves to laugh and to forget her life, even just for a few minutes. She really enjoys watching stupid videos on Youtube because she finds it distressing… She keeps on trying to be optimistic, and she gets stressed easily. It’s hard do describe her personality, since she doesn’t have so much specific traits. If she was to describe herself, she’d probably say she is common. To be more specific, she would probably add what she likes and doesn’t like, and wouldn’t find much to say to describe herself. She might say she’s a bit curious, and extremely calm. She could spend days into her room, alone. She had no choice but to become lonely, actually… She only has a few « friends » in the camp Half-blood, and one girl in her school (she has no idea how that girl can remember her).

Okay, at this point I don’t really think this whole “no one can remember her” thing is gonna work. It’s likely that rivers can only give life to nymphs, and even then, it doesn’t seem like nymphs really attain any attributes/features from the rivers they came from. I think you should just remove the whole remembering thing and maybe just say that she’s really inconspicuous and the least person to talk to when it comes to crowds and people. Bio : She didn’t know she was special or anything for a very long time. Her life with her father means everything to her, she really loves him, and the time she’s spending with him is what matters the most to her. They talk a lot, and also make the other one discover what they like (movies, music,…). She was a pretty normal kid, except she didn’t have many friends. When she grew up, it just worsened, and soon, no one would talk to her at school. She really didn’t understand why. When she was 13, she met her mother for the first time, and she explained her the situation. Her mother looked very pale, almost like she could disappear at any second. Actually, she did, immediately after she finished her explanation, leaving Jane angry and sad. Jane went to the Camp half-blood for the first time that summer, and she’s going there every year since that. She met Percy recently though. She made a few friends there, but it didn’t always end well… Just before Leo, Piper, Jason and Annabeth went away on the Argo II, her mother appeared to her for the second time, and told her she had to go with them. Jane said that she couldn’t because she wasn’t in the prophecy. Lethe told her that she had been forgotten in the prophecy [which is not completely true, it’s explained later]. Jane did as she was told and went to the New Rome with everyone. It was quite hard to explain, but they decided to trust her, on Percy and Hazel’s advice (Hazel being a daughter of Pluto, she can remember her as well). She already had a big crush on Leo at that time, and, slowly, the two became closer. Actually, they became « a thing », and there was some kissing, flirting and everything. That’s when Leo disappeared on Ogygia and met Calypso. When he came back, he was in love with Calypso and didn’t remember Jane at all (he had been away for too long). After this, Jane felt like she could disappear completely. Hazel really helped her going through it. Jane didn’t have any role at all in the quest, and when she came back, she really had no idea why her mother had told her to go. Later, Lethe will explain her that her children are here to keep memory of everything. To remember. When Leo will come back to life, weirdly, he will remember her, but it will already be too late and he’s in love with Calypso. Jane will actually completely disappear ten years exactly after the quest. It will worry Hazel a lot, but Nico will explain her that according to the legend Lethe’s children are just going back to the river, changing to water at one point. They only have one purpose, to remember, and when they’ve seen what’s important, they just go away. This is not exactly true. Lethe’s children are actually getting what they call a second chance : their life changes completely, for a reason that seems normal, and slowly, people seems to remember them. Really remember them. That’s what will happen to Jane, and she’ll never go back to her previous life as a demigod. She has the intuition that she ever tries to, even if it’s just calling one of her old friends, or texting them, or going in a town she used to go to, people will forget her again. She will have a husband and one child.

... What. I-- Huh? Big question: Is this OC for rping or for story? Either way, I’m not sure how you can effectively use this OC because, well... You really put too much emphasis on the forgetting/remembering part. It’s a questionable thing to begin with, but that aspect of Jane really covers up anything else about her. Literally, all I remember about this OC is that barely anyone can remember her, she remembers stuff, and she’s constantly changing her wardrobe. You need to put some more spazz in other parts of her, etc. Actually, the forgetting part might be the reason why nothing else sticks out for this OC. Easy on the remembrance, more on the character so she can grow rather than to be stuck to this one purpose and such.

Also, I really think Jane should be a nymph rather than a demigod. Just do some more research on the rivers please, and make sure it’s possible to actually have a demigod be born from a river. I know PJO is really out there, but it still does keeps itself aligned with the basis of Greek/Roman mythology. Hobbies : Probably reading and watching movies. She doesn’t really likes sports, except swimming, and she does it only for fun. She hates competition. She also really likes writing, but she always feel like her stories are rather annoying. However, she’s very good at telling what she sees on her everyday life. She has a diary, but she only writes in it with something really special happens. She has a great culture when it comes to antic Greece and Rome, and a few other historical events, but she’s mostly a normal teenager.

Looks good. Likes and dislikes : Most people, looking at her, would probably assume that she’s the kind of girl who listens only to classic music and reads big, annoying books. Truth is, she loves funny songs, and especially rock. Sometimes, she dislikes the music but loves the lyrics, so she likes the song anyway. She loves it when she can yell the lyrics out loud (one of her favorite song is « Gives you hell »). She’s not interested in fantasy, because she says there are enough things happening in her world. She also loves detective stories, because they’re realistic, and are taking place in a world with only humans. Weirdly, it’s her way to escape her monsters-filled reality. She also likes to dance, even if she’s not really good at it. She enjoys walking in the forest with only her thoughts as well. She loves chocolate and french fries. Her favorite season is autumn, because it’s a season when everything feels dreary. It makes her feel a little more in her place. She also loves going to the cinema. She loves movies with a lot of action. There are also, of course, things she hates. One thing she hates, but she would never say it, is people who are amazing and… Well, noticeable. She’s totally jealous of them. She’s really trying her best to hide it because she knows it’s not right, but it’s burning her inside. She can’t stand Piper, for example. She doesn’t know how to feel about Annabeth either (truth is she had a small crush on Percy some time ago…). She doesn’t really like vegetables. She could probably live with only meat (if there wasn’t all those problems about vitamins of course…). She’s afraid of heights when she feels like she could fall. She doesn’t mind being on a tree, but she hates climbing. She hates fighting and is really bad at it. She also hates weapons - she doesn’t mind watching movies with weapons, but she can’t stand it in real life. She doesn’t really like blood either, but most of the time, she has no choice but to face it.

Mmm... Okay... I think this looks good. Powers : she has one power, and it’s to erase memories. She doesn’t control it at all. Theoretically, she should be able to chose which memory she wants to delete, but when she tried it, she felt like she would destroy every memory the person had. And since she’s never trying to, she isn’t getting better at it. Moreover, to do that, she needs to hold firmly the person’s head in her hands. Not very useful during a fight… She actually did it, once, on a men who attacked her in a street. Trying to defend herself and to push him away, she grabbed his head, and suddenly, she felt everything he knew. And she destroyed it. He backed up screaming. He didn’t even know how to speak, and he fell on the ground, because he couldn’t walk either. He looked like a baby who’s breathing for the first time. People said he had lost his mind, later on, and he was taken to a hospital. Jane feels horribly guilty… For not feeling guilty about it. Whenever she thinks about it, she just feels the rage and fear that ran through her at that time. And even if she believes what she did was awful, she doesn’t feel bad about it either.

That’s a pretty awesome power, but again, still not sure about the whole river gives life to demigod, so yeah... I still really like the concept of it, though! Relationships : - Her father : His name is John Smith, and Lethe probably fell in love with him because of how normal he was. He loves movies from Judd Apatow or the Farelly brothers, and has surprising tastes. He can be a bit annoying, but when he talks about things he likes, he becomes very interesting. He’s the reason why Jane truly believes everybody matters, and everybody can surprise you if you pay attention to them long enough. He never forgot her. Never. Jane will « disappear » after his death. She was 26 when he died, and he was 70.

Pretty sure Lethe is still a river. Lethe became a river a lonnnnggggggg time ago. They don’t exactly have a human form at this day and age, I believe.     - A demigod named Mary, who was a daughter of Demeter. They became really close friends when Jane first went to the camp. Mary is a very nice girl. She’s bubbly, and is a little overweight. She’s really adorable, always smiling and always trying to comfort everyone. She really helped Jane, and made her feel much better. When Jane will come back, a year later, she’ll go to see Mary, very happy to see her again, because she really missed her. And Mary will look very confused and ask her who she is… After that, Jane will never try to get close of Mary again.     - A demigod, named Lucy, daughter of Hecate, who thinks that Jane is « interesting ». She’s trying to find a magical way to free Jane from this curse, the fact that she’s always forgotten. Lucy doesn’t always remember her very well, but because of this, she writes down or record, every day, what they’re doing together. Jane really likes her and appreciates what she’s doing for her, but she feels that she’s too much like an experiment to Lucy to say that they are really friend. They do talk a lot, still, and Lucy would say that they’re friends.     - Another son of Hecate, Henry. He, like Lucy, is trying to free her from this curse, and he’s always fighting with Lucy on how to it. He’s very smart, and is always wiping his glasses. He enjoys talking to Jane, and she really likes him. They’re good friends, but, when Lucy and Jane talk about rather personal things, Henry and jane talk about their tastes, which movies they’ve seen, etc. Jane really cares about him. She will miss him a lot after changing her life, and she will always feel like they could have been more than friends.     - She doesn’t like Piper, for the reasons I’ve stated. During her « trip » with her, she will come to admire her, but they will never get very close, because Piper guessed that Jane wasn’t her biggest fan. Things are always a little awkward between them.     - She doesn’t know what to think about Jason nor Frank. She finds them scary and intimidating. She believes they’re nice persons, still, but she will never have a proper talk with them. The boys think she’s a nice girl, but don’t really know what to do in front of her. Jason knows that she doesn’t like Piper and doesn’t specially want to get closer of her. She probably could become a friend of Frank, but it won’t happen. Frank probably isn’t paying enough attention to her, and since she’s afraid of him, she’s not doing anything to get closer of him either.     - She will become a friend from Hazel. Though they don’t really know why, those girls feel very comfortable with each other. Jane will miss her as well when she will go away. Hazel is always very worried about Jane, she feels like Jane needs to be protected all the time. She’s not completely wrong about it… Hazel will be very helpful with everything Jane will go through, and Jane keeps feeling like  she’s taking and not giving anything. Their friendship is a bit unbalanced because of that.     - She would really like to get closer of Nico, since she really believes he’s interesting, but he will never let her a chance. And since she’s not very good to do this anyway, she will never succeed doing it. Nico, on the other hand, thinks that she’s not interesting. Still, he was one of the first person, if not the first, to notice her and to talk to her at the Camp. She wasn’t very afraid of him, but she can’t help, sometimes, to feel like he could do horrible things.     - Well, she will fall in love with Leo. She thinks he’s very funny, and a nice person, which is very important to him. She also likes how he’s not gifted with everything, like Percy or Jason, but is trying to make the best out of everything he has. He will start liking her as well, because she always seem to care and to worry about him. She always laugh to his jokes as well, and they will have sort of a relationship, until he goes to Ogygia.     - She used to have a crush on Percy, and she still have tender feelings about him. She thought Percy was cute and, well, he talked to her. She was never really « in love » with him, but she liked to picture him with her. When he started dating Annabeth, she tried to get rid of that feeling, and it was easy since they never talk or anything. Even if he can remember her, he will never give her any real attention. It’s not to be mean or anything, it’s just… He doesn’t notice her.

~*FINAL VERDICT*~

Okay, so...

I really think you should make her into a nymph. I’ve read other Rick Riordian books and I’ve seen nymphs from the underworld rather than demigods (I don’t think I’ve have even found a demigod that claims to be born from the rivers). I could be wrong, but the legitimacy has to be there. Fantasy or not, it’s gotta work with the mythology rules itself.

Another thing, that whole people can’t remember her thing... Interesting concept, but it doesn’t exactly fit with the whole premise of the fandom, I feel... It feels like she’s been dumped with the mist so that people can’t see her. If you plan to use this OC for rping purposes, I suggest you take that factor out of her and replace with a similar but less potent attribute. 

In all honesty, I really like the concept and idea you had for this OC! It’s just... It doesn’t exactly fit nor tie together the same myths as the actual stories either. 

I hope that helps you improve your OC! I like her, but to fit her within the frame of PJO, she’s gotta change.

~Vixel