marysuereactors

[marysuereactors]

Jane Anemone Smith - Percy Jackson

Hi ! I’m sending you an Percy Jackson OC for a review, if you’re not too busy. English is not my first language and I’m translating this, so I apologize for the mistakes you’ll probably find here <.< Thanks a lot for your time !

 BLARGHHHH SORRY SOMEHOW THE POST GOT FUCKED UP BUT DON’T WORRY WE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL-- The mods are out so this is Vixel speaking.

Full name : Jane Anémone Smith

Interesting name, I like it.

Godly parent : Lethe. The first reaction for most people about it is usually « Wait, isn’t that a river ? ». Lethe was/is actually also a goddess. However, the thing about Lethe’s children is that no one remembers them. Jane is always being forgotten, almost immediately. Actually, Percy and Nico remembered her. Nico because he’s the son of Hades and she’s linked to the Underworld through her mother ; and Percy because she’s linked to a river, which is… Well, water. Lethe, here, is considered being linked to the river. She can be seen as the human form of the river. It means that only sons/daughters of Hades or Poseidon, and eventually a few children of Hecate can remember her, but that still requires lots of efforts. And since there are plenty of sons of Poseidon and Hades… There aren’t many people to remember her. Lethe doesn’t have her own cabin - she’s probably been forgotten, or maybe she forgot to ask for it, and anyway, she doesn’t have many children. Or rather, Lethe might not remember who her children are. Lethe is an unbelievably vague person. Jane has never met any of her brother/sister. If she really spends a lot of time with people, they will end up remembering her, but if they stay away, they will forget everything about her again (it’s like learning something new : if you study it several times, you will learn it correctly, but you may forget everything if you don’t go back to it every now and then)

I... Well, yes the rivers used to be gods/goddesses and are capable of spawning children, but... rivers usually spawn nymphs if anything. I’m not entirely sure if you can get a demigod out of Lethe, but a nymph sure can... Just... I’m gonna continue reading.

Also I should mention, there was a nymph of the river Acheron (river of pain I think) and I don’t recall her giving pain to people who pass her by or see her. I give bonus points for creativity on the not remembering part, but, I think you should maybe check more into the rivers and having children. Meaning/origin of the name : Her father just liked the name « Jane », and he had an ancestor who was named « Anémone » (french). However, here, « Jane » can make you think to « Jane Doe », and in « Anémone », there is « nemo »,  which means « no one » or « nobody » in latin. As for Smith, it’s a very common name. And Jane is very common… [Of course, it’s just a coincidence. Her father wasn’t thinking « Hey, which generic name could I pick for her ? ». However, Jane finds it very ironic that even the part of her name that’s supposed to be original, Anémone, can be linked to that kind of things]

Hm... uh... Well, I guess it passes. I dunno, the Anemone part kind of bothers me but we’ve had other out of the world names in PJO I believe so it works. Nicknames : Mostly « Hey, you ! ». Her father calls her « Mona » sometimes, in reference to Anémone. Most of the time, people don’t remember her name anyway, so it’s already great when they call her Jane. Gender : female Age : 16 Appearance : Straight brown hair. She usually have a ponytail, because they’re long, but she prefers when she lets her hair down. However, in the Camp, it might be dangerous, so she just ties them up most of the time. She also has brown eyes. She doesn’t have any scar, piercing, tattoo, or any distinguish feature. If you do look at her very carefully, you can notice that she doesn’t have any beauty spot at all, on her entire body. It’s actually rather weird and can make you feel slightly uncomfortable, though it’s hard to tell why. Other then that, well, she’s exactly the kind of girl no one would remember. Normal height, normal weight, not looking ugly but not specially pretty,… Normal. Actually, changing her appearance could be a way to be more «  noticeable », but she has already tried it. She tried a lot of different hair colors, lots of jewelry, clothes from insane colors… The result is always the same. No one looks at her for more than a couple of seconds. Plus, she actually doesn’t like being noticed too much. Not that it ever really happened, so, well, she’s not used to it. When Percy or Nico talked to her or just remembered her name, she absolutely didn’t know how to react.

I mean... Okay. The appearance is fine and her changing her clothes often is pretty neat on the other hand. Still a little iffy about that last paragraph, but... I’ll see it to the end. Personality : she’s a rather shy girl, and that’s what most people see about her. Shyness. Truth is, she’s rather smart. She has an amazing memory, which is quite ironic. She thinks she should be used to people not remembering her, but she still feels bad about it when it happens. What hurts her the most is that, though Nico and Percy remember her, they don’t realize what’s really happening to her (but that’s mostly her fault, since she didn’t explain it to Percy). She’s also a very nice person, very empathic, and it comes from the fact that she spends most of her time watching people. She’s a good listener, but she can be a bit awkward and boring, since she’s not used to social interaction. She’s always wondering what her life would be if people could remember her. She’s not even blaming them anymore. What for ? They can’t help it. No one can, not even her mother. Sometimes, she just thinks it’s no one’s fault and takes it rather well ; but on other days, she just hates everyone and feels awful about it. She laughs very easily, and loves to laugh and to forget her life, even just for a few minutes. She really enjoys watching stupid videos on Youtube because she finds it distressing… She keeps on trying to be optimistic, and she gets stressed easily. It’s hard do describe her personality, since she doesn’t have so much specific traits. If she was to describe herself, she’d probably say she is common. To be more specific, she would probably add what she likes and doesn’t like, and wouldn’t find much to say to describe herself. She might say she’s a bit curious, and extremely calm. She could spend days into her room, alone. She had no choice but to become lonely, actually… She only has a few « friends » in the camp Half-blood, and one girl in her school (she has no idea how that girl can remember her).

Okay, at this point I don’t really think this whole “no one can remember her” thing is gonna work. It’s likely that rivers can only give life to nymphs, and even then, it doesn’t seem like nymphs really attain any attributes/features from the rivers they came from. I think you should just remove the whole remembering thing and maybe just say that she’s really inconspicuous and the least person to talk to when it comes to crowds and people. Bio : She didn’t know she was special or anything for a very long time. Her life with her father means everything to her, she really loves him, and the time she’s spending with him is what matters the most to her. They talk a lot, and also make the other one discover what they like (movies, music,…). She was a pretty normal kid, except she didn’t have many friends. When she grew up, it just worsened, and soon, no one would talk to her at school. She really didn’t understand why. When she was 13, she met her mother for the first time, and she explained her the situation. Her mother looked very pale, almost like she could disappear at any second. Actually, she did, immediately after she finished her explanation, leaving Jane angry and sad. Jane went to the Camp half-blood for the first time that summer, and she’s going there every year since that. She met Percy recently though. She made a few friends there, but it didn’t always end well… Just before Leo, Piper, Jason and Annabeth went away on the Argo II, her mother appeared to her for the second time, and told her she had to go with them. Jane said that she couldn’t because she wasn’t in the prophecy. Lethe told her that she had been forgotten in the prophecy [which is not completely true, it’s explained later]. Jane did as she was told and went to the New Rome with everyone. It was quite hard to explain, but they decided to trust her, on Percy and Hazel’s advice (Hazel being a daughter of Pluto, she can remember her as well). She already had a big crush on Leo at that time, and, slowly, the two became closer. Actually, they became « a thing », and there was some kissing, flirting and everything. That’s when Leo disappeared on Ogygia and met Calypso. When he came back, he was in love with Calypso and didn’t remember Jane at all (he had been away for too long). After this, Jane felt like she could disappear completely. Hazel really helped her going through it. Jane didn’t have any role at all in the quest, and when she came back, she really had no idea why her mother had told her to go. Later, Lethe will explain her that her children are here to keep memory of everything. To remember. When Leo will come back to life, weirdly, he will remember her, but it will already be too late and he’s in love with Calypso. Jane will actually completely disappear ten years exactly after the quest. It will worry Hazel a lot, but Nico will explain her that according to the legend Lethe’s children are just going back to the river, changing to water at one point. They only have one purpose, to remember, and when they’ve seen what’s important, they just go away. This is not exactly true. Lethe’s children are actually getting what they call a second chance : their life changes completely, for a reason that seems normal, and slowly, people seems to remember them. Really remember them. That’s what will happen to Jane, and she’ll never go back to her previous life as a demigod. She has the intuition that she ever tries to, even if it’s just calling one of her old friends, or texting them, or going in a town she used to go to, people will forget her again. She will have a husband and one child.

... What. I-- Huh? Big question: Is this OC for rping or for story? Either way, I’m not sure how you can effectively use this OC because, well... You really put too much emphasis on the forgetting/remembering part. It’s a questionable thing to begin with, but that aspect of Jane really covers up anything else about her. Literally, all I remember about this OC is that barely anyone can remember her, she remembers stuff, and she’s constantly changing her wardrobe. You need to put some more spazz in other parts of her, etc. Actually, the forgetting part might be the reason why nothing else sticks out for this OC. Easy on the remembrance, more on the character so she can grow rather than to be stuck to this one purpose and such.

Also, I really think Jane should be a nymph rather than a demigod. Just do some more research on the rivers please, and make sure it’s possible to actually have a demigod be born from a river. I know PJO is really out there, but it still does keeps itself aligned with the basis of Greek/Roman mythology. Hobbies : Probably reading and watching movies. She doesn’t really likes sports, except swimming, and she does it only for fun. She hates competition. She also really likes writing, but she always feel like her stories are rather annoying. However, she’s very good at telling what she sees on her everyday life. She has a diary, but she only writes in it with something really special happens. She has a great culture when it comes to antic Greece and Rome, and a few other historical events, but she’s mostly a normal teenager.

Looks good. Likes and dislikes : Most people, looking at her, would probably assume that she’s the kind of girl who listens only to classic music and reads big, annoying books. Truth is, she loves funny songs, and especially rock. Sometimes, she dislikes the music but loves the lyrics, so she likes the song anyway. She loves it when she can yell the lyrics out loud (one of her favorite song is « Gives you hell »). She’s not interested in fantasy, because she says there are enough things happening in her world. She also loves detective stories, because they’re realistic, and are taking place in a world with only humans. Weirdly, it’s her way to escape her monsters-filled reality. She also likes to dance, even if she’s not really good at it. She enjoys walking in the forest with only her thoughts as well. She loves chocolate and french fries. Her favorite season is autumn, because it’s a season when everything feels dreary. It makes her feel a little more in her place. She also loves going to the cinema. She loves movies with a lot of action. There are also, of course, things she hates. One thing she hates, but she would never say it, is people who are amazing and… Well, noticeable. She’s totally jealous of them. She’s really trying her best to hide it because she knows it’s not right, but it’s burning her inside. She can’t stand Piper, for example. She doesn’t know how to feel about Annabeth either (truth is she had a small crush on Percy some time ago…). She doesn’t really like vegetables. She could probably live with only meat (if there wasn’t all those problems about vitamins of course…). She’s afraid of heights when she feels like she could fall. She doesn’t mind being on a tree, but she hates climbing. She hates fighting and is really bad at it. She also hates weapons - she doesn’t mind watching movies with weapons, but she can’t stand it in real life. She doesn’t really like blood either, but most of the time, she has no choice but to face it.

Mmm... Okay... I think this looks good. Powers : she has one power, and it’s to erase memories. She doesn’t control it at all. Theoretically, she should be able to chose which memory she wants to delete, but when she tried it, she felt like she would destroy every memory the person had. And since she’s never trying to, she isn’t getting better at it. Moreover, to do that, she needs to hold firmly the person’s head in her hands. Not very useful during a fight… She actually did it, once, on a men who attacked her in a street. Trying to defend herself and to push him away, she grabbed his head, and suddenly, she felt everything he knew. And she destroyed it. He backed up screaming. He didn’t even know how to speak, and he fell on the ground, because he couldn’t walk either. He looked like a baby who’s breathing for the first time. People said he had lost his mind, later on, and he was taken to a hospital. Jane feels horribly guilty… For not feeling guilty about it. Whenever she thinks about it, she just feels the rage and fear that ran through her at that time. And even if she believes what she did was awful, she doesn’t feel bad about it either.

That’s a pretty awesome power, but again, still not sure about the whole river gives life to demigod, so yeah... I still really like the concept of it, though! Relationships : - Her father : His name is John Smith, and Lethe probably fell in love with him because of how normal he was. He loves movies from Judd Apatow or the Farelly brothers, and has surprising tastes. He can be a bit annoying, but when he talks about things he likes, he becomes very interesting. He’s the reason why Jane truly believes everybody matters, and everybody can surprise you if you pay attention to them long enough. He never forgot her. Never. Jane will « disappear » after his death. She was 26 when he died, and he was 70.

Pretty sure Lethe is still a river. Lethe became a river a lonnnnggggggg time ago. They don’t exactly have a human form at this day and age, I believe.     - A demigod named Mary, who was a daughter of Demeter. They became really close friends when Jane first went to the camp. Mary is a very nice girl. She’s bubbly, and is a little overweight. She’s really adorable, always smiling and always trying to comfort everyone. She really helped Jane, and made her feel much better. When Jane will come back, a year later, she’ll go to see Mary, very happy to see her again, because she really missed her. And Mary will look very confused and ask her who she is… After that, Jane will never try to get close of Mary again.     - A demigod, named Lucy, daughter of Hecate, who thinks that Jane is « interesting ». She’s trying to find a magical way to free Jane from this curse, the fact that she’s always forgotten. Lucy doesn’t always remember her very well, but because of this, she writes down or record, every day, what they’re doing together. Jane really likes her and appreciates what she’s doing for her, but she feels that she’s too much like an experiment to Lucy to say that they are really friend. They do talk a lot, still, and Lucy would say that they’re friends.     - Another son of Hecate, Henry. He, like Lucy, is trying to free her from this curse, and he’s always fighting with Lucy on how to it. He’s very smart, and is always wiping his glasses. He enjoys talking to Jane, and she really likes him. They’re good friends, but, when Lucy and Jane talk about rather personal things, Henry and jane talk about their tastes, which movies they’ve seen, etc. Jane really cares about him. She will miss him a lot after changing her life, and she will always feel like they could have been more than friends.     - She doesn’t like Piper, for the reasons I’ve stated. During her « trip » with her, she will come to admire her, but they will never get very close, because Piper guessed that Jane wasn’t her biggest fan. Things are always a little awkward between them.     - She doesn’t know what to think about Jason nor Frank. She finds them scary and intimidating. She believes they’re nice persons, still, but she will never have a proper talk with them. The boys think she’s a nice girl, but don’t really know what to do in front of her. Jason knows that she doesn’t like Piper and doesn’t specially want to get closer of her. She probably could become a friend of Frank, but it won’t happen. Frank probably isn’t paying enough attention to her, and since she’s afraid of him, she’s not doing anything to get closer of him either.     - She will become a friend from Hazel. Though they don’t really know why, those girls feel very comfortable with each other. Jane will miss her as well when she will go away. Hazel is always very worried about Jane, she feels like Jane needs to be protected all the time. She’s not completely wrong about it… Hazel will be very helpful with everything Jane will go through, and Jane keeps feeling like  she’s taking and not giving anything. Their friendship is a bit unbalanced because of that.     - She would really like to get closer of Nico, since she really believes he’s interesting, but he will never let her a chance. And since she’s not very good to do this anyway, she will never succeed doing it. Nico, on the other hand, thinks that she’s not interesting. Still, he was one of the first person, if not the first, to notice her and to talk to her at the Camp. She wasn’t very afraid of him, but she can’t help, sometimes, to feel like he could do horrible things.     - Well, she will fall in love with Leo. She thinks he’s very funny, and a nice person, which is very important to him. She also likes how he’s not gifted with everything, like Percy or Jason, but is trying to make the best out of everything he has. He will start liking her as well, because she always seem to care and to worry about him. She always laugh to his jokes as well, and they will have sort of a relationship, until he goes to Ogygia.     - She used to have a crush on Percy, and she still have tender feelings about him. She thought Percy was cute and, well, he talked to her. She was never really « in love » with him, but she liked to picture him with her. When he started dating Annabeth, she tried to get rid of that feeling, and it was easy since they never talk or anything. Even if he can remember her, he will never give her any real attention. It’s not to be mean or anything, it’s just… He doesn’t notice her.

~*FINAL VERDICT*~

Okay, so...

I really think you should make her into a nymph. I’ve read other Rick Riordian books and I’ve seen nymphs from the underworld rather than demigods (I don’t think I’ve have even found a demigod that claims to be born from the rivers). I could be wrong, but the legitimacy has to be there. Fantasy or not, it’s gotta work with the mythology rules itself.

Another thing, that whole people can’t remember her thing... Interesting concept, but it doesn’t exactly fit with the whole premise of the fandom, I feel... It feels like she’s been dumped with the mist so that people can’t see her. If you plan to use this OC for rping purposes, I suggest you take that factor out of her and replace with a similar but less potent attribute. 

In all honesty, I really like the concept and idea you had for this OC! It’s just... It doesn’t exactly fit nor tie together the same myths as the actual stories either. 

I hope that helps you improve your OC! I like her, but to fit her within the frame of PJO, she’s gotta change.

~Vixel

[marysuereactors]

Blaze Angel and Friends (Re-review)

So nobody’s really posting or sending us Mary Sues, and I was just scrolling through the old crap reviews I did years ago. Thought I should redo this review since the creator of this… character has made a bio for her and the sisters. So not only are we reviewing one character, oh ho ho no, we’re reviewing triplets! (Kms…)

Oh, and I’m now Mod Zilvani, here accompanied by my two good friends, Mod Triple A and Mod Lyn. Also, this creator made many bios, so this is going to be a longggggggg review. *Sigh* Oh the things I do for entertainment…

Zilvani is Bold.

Lyn is Italicized.

(Triple A is in parentheses.) BECAUSE APPARENTLY UNDERLINE DOESN’T WORK FOR SOME REASON

First Character… Blaze Angel.

+ Basic Information + Full Name: Blaze Angel Age: 19 Birthdate: June 14 Gender: Female Species: 85% Human 15% Angel

That’s not how it works. Genetics and ethnicity work in halves, so if you want to, at the very least, be 1/8 angel or whatever you want to do. Although, that would raise questions of your ancestry. What the heck were your ancestors doing with the angels?

Frankly this whole race/ethnicity is just a mess. What fandom are we even in, or is this an all-around type of OC? Not. Happening. Some fandoms don’t even have angels, so this definitely could not work. 

+ Appearance + Height: ??

Pick a height, damnit.

Build: Skinny but strong enough to punch someone

That’s… What.

What even. “Skinny, but strong enough to punch someone”.

That’s really vague.

Not to mention highly CONTRADICTORY. If you’re skinny, most likely you wouldn’t be cut for a fighter. I doubt you could even defend yourself properly, without weapons at least. Actually, how skinny are we talking about? I agree with Mod Lyn, this is really vague.

(CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE.)

Hair Color: red Hair Type: fluffy and long Eye color: red (left eye has sun symbol)

What the– How does your eye have a symbol? That’s like some sort of whacked up genetic mutation. Most likely you wouldn’t even be able to see through that eye if the mutation is that fucked up.

(CLICHEEEEEE.)

And… Whatever.

I wanna know who the parents are and what have they accomplished to get a fucking sun marked into the eye. I’m not sure about the other mods, but I’m okay with symbols in eyes SO LONG AS THEY AREN’T IN THE SMACK DAB MIDDLE OF THE PUPIL. Like… a symbol in the retina could probably slide… but pupil? Your vision is literally blocked by this weird sun shaped shadow, or blackness. Really?

Skintone: pale peach

Is this really necessary?

I’m not quite sure if there’s such thing as pale peach, so I’m not going to comment about it. Scars: none Piercings, tattoos: none Other: none

If there’s none, you don’t need to include it.

+ Personality & Relations + Personality: Hyper, Tsundere, All around, Pirate-like

… BE MORE SPECIFIC DAMNIT. Don’t give me that one word bullcrap, unless you’re in a rush or something. Even then, put down a “TBA” so that you’ll get back to it later! Freaking– What does All around even mean? You need to be specific, otherwise this is half-assed.

What a well developed personality! A list of adjectives is not a personality. What the fuck is ‘all-around’ and ‘pirate-like’? That’s already 2 out of the four ‘personality traits’ down. Also, tsundere, is NOT a good descriptor for a personality, and it NEVER WILL BE. It’s a lazy excuse to make your character as random as possible.

Occupation: Middle sister, “Dimension Hopper”

Middle sister is not an occupation.

A Dimension Hopper is not an occupation, so please specify. PLEASE. SPECIFY.

I called it. I fucking called it. This character doesn’t stick to one fandom, oh no, she goes ALL THE FUCKING AROUND. I need to drink clorox to feel clean again.

Sexual Orientation: Straight Relationship Status: single (?)

Suspicious.

Supposedly she put down a question mark since she probably has Angel being shipped with different canon/other OCs in different fandoms…

I just remembered, if she’s a dimension hopper… and she’s dating with these guys in different universes… Doesn’t that make her a cheater? Very nice.

Also, how does she dimension hop? Please. Kill me.

Relationships with Other Characters: Blaze Kirigiri: Blaze likes her eldest sister, but she’s always worry about Kirigiri’s relationship with a certain crazy boy and her status as “Ultimate Duelist”

This is assuming that this is already breaking the 4th wall from the start.

It’s… It’s really vague. Does your relationship with your sister go only as deep as that?

I’d like to point out the fact that her sister literally stole the last name of the canon protagonist of the anime, Danganronpa. But don’t worry, we’ll get to her soon. Unfortunately.

Moon: Blaze adores her little Vocaloid sister, even if Moon is living at Vocaloid Studios, but she always worries about Moon when she’s around the other Vocaloids.

Vocaloids are not people, they are voice banks. And at the very most, they are very interpretive characters. Every Vocaloid artist has a way of using said Vocaloids. Having a younger sister as a vocaloid is not possible, as vocaloids do not have parents, only “creators”. Unless she was somehow adopted????????

… Oh boy, this is going to be a long night.

+ Other + Blaze is more of the all around type when it comes to her personality

All Around???????????? I’m so confused??????????

I can only defend her a little for this one. The way I see it, everyone’s capable of being anything, like I can be loud or quiet, shy or courageous, but the personality is the combination of traits that you choose to be. In a way, I… kind of understand where she’s getting at? Still pretty terrible and vague though.

Much of her background is surrounded by mystery; no one knows where she comes from

Ooh~! Spooky! *making spooky wind noises*

Okay, this isn’t even trying.

Blaze doesn’t know where she was born at all, but she simply didn’t really care, as long she is happy with friends

I’m not sure about you, but if I were her, I’d be pretty damn confused and demanding to know where the hell I came from. Doesn’t matter if I’m happy with my friends, I wanna fucking know if I was born in Jamaica or not.

Not even a little curious? Not, not even just a LITTLE BIT?

Known as the “Dimension Hopper” for a reason but that is classified.

OOOHHH SO SPOOKY, OOOOOHHHHH *making the same spooky noises*

Again, not even trying. 

She may sometimes speak and dress as a pirate at times.

So she’s cosplaying, great. What for, and why. I’m actually getting a headache the more I delve deep into this.

LOL NERD *throwing rocks* ALSO, PIRATES SPOKE THE SAME WAY AS ENGLISH SAILORS AT THE TIME, SINCE THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT THEY WERE.

Hey, at least she’s not… wait, she is. Never mind. Also, no hate to the pirate loving community, be glad we’re trying to exterminate this character for you guys.

She was the one who had Blaze Kirigiri and Vocaloid Moon as her sisters, because of their similar looks.

So… She’s the one who adopted them???????

Depending on which countries they were born, is Angel at the right age consent to be adopting kids?

Recently, Blaze is starting to become more and more human then her angel self….

THAT’S NOT HOW GENETICS WORKKKKKKKKK. If you’re going to make angels an entirely separate species from humans, then stick to your own damn canon!

Where’s the vodka.

I drank it all~

And you didn’t even leave some for me? Thanks, I needed that. THANKS.

Her ancestor is the Sun Warrior Solarias 

Who the fuck is this dude.

Please, please, EXPLAIN.

This next bio is her new bio for Blaze Angel, but it’s mainly focused on one fandom so I considered this bio to be a secondary to the previous bio we just reviewed.

Name: Blaze Angel Nicknames: Blaze, Dr. Angel, Tori Yugaina, Beta

Blaze is not a nickname, that’s her name. Dr. Angel is not a nickname, it’s a name her colleagues and patients would address her as. And where did Tori Yugaina and Beta come from? I hope this is explained later.

I’m going to be honest, I’m not educated in the fandom of Trauma Team so, Lyn, you’re going to have to guide me through this.

Age: Varies in roleplays

At least give us a range. I mean, it might vary between roleplays, but a range would be nice.

These rps are in the same fandom anyways, so I don’t see why it would vary at all. If this was in the first bio, I would understand since she was bullshitting with the dimension hopping around fandoms.

Sex: F Skin color: pale peach Hair color: red Eye Color: red

That’s a genetic mutation that I would not like to get into the chances of.

Red is not a good eye color to begin with. So many Mary Sues have dried out the uniqueness of the color red. -_- Keep in mind that this is the same eye color as her love interest, as I’ve been told.

Species: Sun Mage Angel (hides this to prevent being an outcast to the society around her)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

This isn’t even in Trauma Team. It was never a thing, It will never be a thing, WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

EVEN I FUCKING KNOW THIS SPECIES IS NOT POSSIBLE, AND I DON’T KNOW THE FANDOM DAMNIT–

Likes: Erhard Muller (CR-S01). Dylan Stiles (belongs to *insert creator name* Only in TCGZ rps), Sweet things and plushies, her work, patient’s smiling, etc

Of course only these people she likes. Of. Course.

I’m just confused, but alright.

Dislikes: interaction, being threatened/ made fun off, being an outcast, being feared, ghost, creepy shit, lazy people, etc

Anybody would dislike being made fun of or being threatened. But what I love is the GHOST, as in the singular one ghost. Which ghost is this?

(Maybe it’s Kasper, ‘CAUSE SHE AIN’T FRIENDLY.)

Finally, Triple A speaks.

(Sorry, I was watching Voltron.)

I know. I was sitting next to you the whole time.

Personality: Tsundere Tomboy: A mixture of her Tsundere personality and her Tomboy trait. When she’s like this, she tends to get all tough and might as well punch you if your not careful. 

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TSUNDERES– Also, the tomboy trait is also terrible. Don’t use character archetypes to build your character.

Lazy excuses, lazy excuses. 

(Why does the person always resort to violence?)

Loner Type: She dislikes interaction with others and never talks to them first. If someone tries to talk to her, she’ll speak in a cold tone and in few words to push them away

I don’t think that’s how the loner trait works. 

(That’s not a loner, that’s a hostile person.)

They tend to stay away from crowds, not push people away directly.

(Yeah, they’re passive aggressive about most things.)

I… I have no words. 

Bio: No one knows where Blaze came from. 

(OOHHHHHH SO SPOOPY, OOHHHHHHHH)

*(spoopy wind noises)*

While her background is a mystery, Blaze does happen to remember the time she was called the “Beta” during the time she was used to host a pathogen, but was left for dead because her pathogen doesn’t have the regeneration ability as some other advanced pathogens have. 

Um, that’s one big long run-on sentence. Do you know where you should put it?

(What?)

UP YOUR –

WHOA OKAY LET’S NOT GO THERE LYN, KEEP IT PG-13 HERE PLEASE.

(o , o ;;;;; )

Also, where was this happening????? (In Agar.io.)

Jesus Christ.

Plus she was used to cultivate pathogens that were used on other victims.

Again, where was this happening???? WHAT GOVERNMENT WAS FUNDING THIS???? Also, this is just BAD. SCIENTIFIC. STUDY.  Having already housed a pathogen…unless this takes place before the first mentioned pathogen…in which case structure your bio better…would ruin the integrity of the cultivated pathogen.

I’m just so confused.

(It’s okay. Just nod your head and pretend you understand. It always works.)

I’m already doing that. It’s not working.

(Did you try unplugging and replugging?)

YES.

(Wait, then take out the cartridge and b–)

MOVING ON.

After her escape, she went into hiding for a while so she doesn’t get killed. 

Be more specific: How did she escape? Where did she hide???

(I’m willing to bet that she hid with her future love interest or something. That or in the magical world of Narnia because plot. Why not.)

I second that.

Slowly during her years of hiding, she decided on being a doctor, preferbably a surgeon, to help people who are suffering and prove to them that the world is a good place to live in despite the ups and downs that people will have to face, which is what Blaze has currently gone through herself. 

Didn’t doctors do this to you? I guess, that’s pretty noble though, but how would a person like you, carrying a pathogen that would probably be picked up by like, tests or something, and with no qualifications, get a job as a doctor?

Honestly, what’s the deal with the Pathogen crap?

(It’s just plot, I guess. As for the qualifications, shE’S SOMEHOW MAGICALLY SMART ENOUGH TO BYPASS YEARS AND YEARS OF INTENSE STUDYING, TRAINING, AND DRILLING BECAUSE REASONS. Also, dON’T TRUST HER, SHE’S NOT THE DOCTOR, OR HOUSE.)

After finally catching her dream, she worked as a surgeon in a small hospital in Angeles Bay, where she also first encountered her first GUILT strain in a patient: Kyraki. In due time after figureing out how to stop it, she recieved an invite to work at Caduceus USA, which she accepts and began working there while gaining more knowledge about GUILT and how to treat them. When the GUILT scramble was over and done with, Director Hoffman had Blaze transferred to Resurgam First Care in Portland, possibly in case of a GUILT outbreak there, since some Delphi members escaped from Angeles Bay. She now works as a regular and a GUILT surgeon for Resurgam, keeping her guard up for anything Delphi will throw at her.

Just, no explanation, she just CAUGHT HER DREAM. Cue in the sparkles, please.

*Throws sparkles everywhere* Hooray.

(o u o ;;;;; Okay. wait, what if her eyes sparkle or something? gUYS STOP THE SPARKLES NO.)

TOO LATE–

(Also, I’m not really entitled to say much about the rest of the info, since I don’t know much about the game, but…Guilt? Guilt outbreak? From an outside perspective, I hope to God that Blaze’s creator catches the Guilt and well..No, not do anything bad to herself, just please and kindly fix Blaze.)

Trivia: ~ Blaze has a few weaknesses: While she does have a tomboy side, she still has a soft girl side to her. Evidence is her liking of sweet things and plush toys, though she hides that fact. She can’t use sun magic during time when the sun is missing due to clouds or at night, because she is magically drained. Her liking her Erhard (in TT rps) or Dylan (in TCGZ rps) may cause her to lose her focus slightly but she does manage to finish the job without a hassle.

GENDER ROLES, HAAAAAAAAA

WHO NEEDS GENDER IDENTIFICATION AMIRIGHT

( ;A; as a person who identifies as a non-binary gender role (I go by he/him or they/them)….You can’t….You can’t…List…..Girly things…As…A weakness..You can’t just…….. cRYING NOISES INTENSIFY. Also, it’S A GOOD THING SHE DOESN’T LIVE IN LONDON CUZ SHE’D BE PRETTY SCREEEEEWWEED. Still, what is she, a freaking plant? I can just imagine her as one of those really cliche, ditsy anime girls yelling “ooohhh nooooo! So and so has drained my powerrrsss!!! Someone saavee meeee!!” Except, this time it’s Blaze yelling about how the clouds and natural weather occurrences are robbing her of her “special” magic.)

Also…magic…isn’t really a thing?? In Trauma Team?? I mean, there’s spiritual people, who can “talk to ghosts” and the like, but “magic” isn’t really shown or stated outright.

I still have no words.

~ Blaze has a few negative traits such as trying to work on a surgery alone when she is in her loner personality, or hit a wall with her fist when she’s in her tsundere tomboy personality. She’s also presistant that she doesn’t want to work with an assistant.

Does she have multi-personality disorder?

(It’s also not very balanced/fair if she has “few negative traits” or “few weaknesses.”, then blabber on and on about the “good things” about your character. You gotta balance out all three equally. Also, I’m pretty goddang sure that you need a team while you’re preforming a surgery. It’s intense, really intense, and high stress. You can’t break your focus for a single second unless you want your patient to die. That includes looking away from the cut-open patient to go get the knives or something; you kinda are brought out of the zone lest you knock everything over or something. Also, just because you’re a loner, that does not justify not wanting to work with others. You can just simply have her do her thing, then leave almost immediately after. That can be considered a loner since she doesn’t stay around others for too long. I know this is a lot, but I got a lot so sit down and buckle up. One last thing; how is her hand not broken yet???? Walls are…Walls. One does not simply hit the wall with their fist while being angry/irritated and walk away unscathed. At the very least, you would have bruises or something. One more thing–)

That’s. Enough. Please. You wrote A FREAKING PARAGRAPH– TO THE POINT THAT MOD LYN HAD TO GO TO THE RESTROOM.

(…..Why do you write like you’re running out of time– Okayokay I’m sorry. I tend to ramble a lot when I actually have an opinion. Also, I’m not sorry for the paragraph.)

Gee Thanks. Let’s continue shall we? Even though the only person who knows the fandom left. Oh wait, she’s back, never mind. Now I’m clocking out, have fun guys!

(NOOOO BABY COME BACK! I’M A CHANGED MAN! I’LL STOP DRINKING– jokes aside, let’s go on!)

~ Having Tori Yugaina within her doesn’t affect her status as a surgeon, but she fears that it will go rampant, despite not harming innocent people or patients, and search of the person that left her for dead. However, Tori Yugaina remains dormant unless blaze digested a poisonous substance. 

Okay, so Tori Yugaina is the pathogen. An odd name, but that’s pretty par for the course in Trauma Team. However, she should know better than to risk it moving onto her various patients during treatment.

(Fear can mess someone up pretty badly if left unchecked. The fear that her or her pathogen may cause harm should make her more nervous or paranoid, but I guess that feeds into the loner personality?? Also, what, Tori feeDS OFF OF BLAZE’S OVERWHELMING FLOOD OF ANGST, SELF PITY AND DESPAIR WHEN SHE SLOWLY GETS SCREWED OVER BY SAID POISON?)

How did Tori Yugaina become Tori Yugaina in the first place. I didn’t know a pathogen could name itself… I am so confused, and thank god this bio is almost over.

~ Tori Yugaina is Japanese for “Poisonous Bird” and gains their name from eatting poisnous bugs, which is how this particular pathogen activates when Blaze digested a poisonous substance. She has blade like tentacles on her arms; if she lose both of them, she is rendered useless. Her arms served as wings when her blades are large like wings.

It’s a pathogen????? WHY ARE YOU SPROUTING TENTACLES???? I might not be doing terribly in-depth research, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing???

Well that sort of answered my question???? But where the fuck did the tentacles come from? WHAT IS THIS FANDOM EVEN???????

(o u o ;;; Sounds like some sort of Tokyo Ghoul crap. Okay, the explanation itself, at best, is mediocre. The explanation of the wings symbolism is still kinda confusing and really forced/not subtle. Ohkay, arms are wings. Cut them off and she’s a whiny, blubbering and useless pile of flesh.)

~ Blaze has a crush on Erhard, though she does not interact with him due to her loner personality. The crush probably developed after making eye contact with the convict surgeon, and though she does not speak to him, making eye contact says alot more than you can think.

Ah, love at first sight. Kill me, fellow mods.

Gladly, but let me kill myself first before I do so.

(Guys please ;w; you really shouldn’t joke about that kind of stuff…. As for the thing itself, uhhh.. Okay. I get that it’s been scientifically shown that if you make eye contact with someone enough, you’ll form a bond with them, but you can’t just stare at some eye in the eyes for a while without saying a word and somehow magically fall in love with them. Communication is key, and if your loner personality trait (which by now has been shoved down our throats) is an obstacle, then play with that idea. Does she overcome it for her crush? Or does she just let it continue to be an obstacle? Shrug.)

~ She keeps her wings and magic a secret from everyone else is mainly due to having the fear of being shunned away, being an outcast to the society, and being seen as a monster. She only shows them to the people she can trust, as long as they don’t tell anyone. She’s still paranoid however….

Whhhhhhyyyyyyy. Just why does she have wings and magic???????

(….You…You can’t just… You can’t just give her those things without any explanation or reasoning. You can’t just.. You can’t just….I mean, I’m sure there would be plenty of people who would be stunned and admire her for her abilities. Okay, though, I can understand the paranoia part, but you can’t just giver her things just so you can fuel her angsty teen flames.)

~ She can lose her loner personality and open up to others once she realized she’s slowly accepting people into her life.

(You switched from present tense to past tense. GG? ((GG can also mean Good Going)) ….I guess this kinda redeems her constant hostility disguised as being a loner, but..Still. It’s not fully justified. Though, if pulled off correctly, you can actually have some character growth and development from this.)

~ Her hair, in a way, twitches when she’s angry or sensing danger; It’s kinda like an instinct or something.

I’ll pass this off as an anime thing, but it’s still annoying.

I never understood the hair twitch…

(IT’S ALIVE. IT’S ALLIIIIIIVVEEEEE!!) ~ When she is Tori Yugaina, her eyes are pure red with a slit black pupil instead of the whites just being black and retained the red iris.

Ow the edge.

So hardcore.

(AANNNNGSSTTYYYYY TEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!! YOU CAN’T JUST….YOU CAN’T….WhydoIevenbotheratthispoint. Clearlythiskidhasnoselfcontrol/reason.)

~ Her left eye is covered to hide the sun imprint inside.

Again with the sun imprint. We’ve went over this already, so scroll back up and read it again if you want to get the ~*extended*~ experience.

Fuck this shit.

(If she constantly covers her left eye with her hair, I don’t care about what kind of fancy smancy powers you got. You’re going to develop this condition called “lazy eye”, which screws over your eye sight. If she constantly had this happen, in a little while she’s going to be half blind.)

~ Only Director Hoffman knows that Blaze is the next candidate to bear the Healing Touch, though it is uncertain when it will be in effect

“She’s sooooo speshyl, u gaiz!!! OMG!!!”

I can already tell this is bullshit. I’m keeping my responses short so I can let out full power on the next one.

(O   u   o ;;; okay you guys. Okay. Uhh…..That again just fuels the “Imma just sham things just cuz plot/reasons unexplained to the readers! WHY NOT” flame. What is she, freaking Jesus? You can’t just…Welp, never mind.)

~ She likes singing and dancing like her younger half sister Moon. Don’t watch her do it unless you want to get punched.

Violent, much?? Why would you hurt people who did nothing to you???

What next, is suddenly breathing the same air as her sister going to land me in jail?

(…Okay. So basically, avoid her like the plague unless I want to get physically harassed by a temperamental brat just cuz I found things out about her that she wanted to keep a secret.)

~ More to come later

Alright, that was tough. Two more sisters to go, hooray…

Next up, Blaze Kirigiri!

(o   u   o ;;;; okay..Let’s go..)

I welcome you, death.

+ Basic Information +

Full Name: Blaze Kirigiri

(….Wasn’t the detective kid from the first Dangan Ronpa named Kirigiri something?)

Kyoko Kirigiri! Please change the last name to something else, don’t rip off of an already canon character.

Age: (depending on ’s Ryan Komaeda’s age, she’s 1 year younger then him)

Um, what the actual fresh titty?? Why is her age dependent on that of another character’s???

Fresh titty, oh my god– On the other hand, what the flying fuck. Does the age matter when it comes to love? I’m only saying this because if she’s mentioning another character in an irrelevant category, it can only mean one thing after all…

(Language you two. Language. Uhh…You two pretty much summed up my thoughts. Whoopsies.)

Birthdate: Unknown (mostly i make it june 14)

Your birthdate should not be unknown in the world of Dangan Ronpa. It’s a “five minutes in the future” setting, which means it should’ve been recorded.

Is there a specific reason why the characters so far have their birthdays on June 14? What’s so significant about that day? Is it the creator’s birthday (I hope not, cause otherwise that’s self-insert character right there)?

(I really don’t have much to say about her birthday, other that I’m hoping to god that AQ is not going to use Blaze’s unknown birthday as a source of angst since no one will celebrate it with her since they don’t know when it is.)

nO DON’T GIVE HER IDEAS TRIPLE A– Also for those of you who don’t know, AQ is the nickname of the creator. -w-

(I’M SORRY–)

Gender: Female

Species: 90% Human 10% magic user

No. Dangan Ronpa, much like Trauma Team, has a “spiritual” aspect to it, but nothing like magic. Even less so. Also, why are “magic users” a separate species from humans? I already addressed the “race percentages” problem.

This isn’t Yu-Gi-Oh, get out. 

(….Uh…Okkaayyy theeennn. I’m pretty sure everyone canonically in DR are normal people. Well, mostly normal. There’s Sakura and Junko, but we don’t talk about them. Also, since when did magic come into play??? You can’t just throw that in there! It’s like throwing poop at a fan– oh wait, she’s doing that already. Whoops.)

Mod Triple A is that one dude who refuses to swear by the way. -u-

(Yes indeed. This is off-topic, but I refrain from swearing or using strong language because I was kinda..Raised that way, and it’s been ingrained into my head that swearing is bad. Moving on–)

I was going to say more but yeah, off-topic.

+ Appearance +

Height: ??

Just pick a fucking height.

What Mod Lyn said.

(OOOOOHHH SOO SPOOOPPYYYYYYYYY.)

Build: Skinny but not like chopsticks

(You do you, I guess. But..Chopsticks? Really? Okay then.)

Hair Color: red Hair Type: fluffy and long

(Floooooooooooooffff -smushes own cheeks-)

Eye color: red with purple moon in right eye

W h y??????

N o??????

(Cuz why not apparently. I think it was supposed to be a family thing; Blaze Angel is the “sun” while Kirigiri is the “moon”. Why? Cuz reasons I guess.)

No no, cause fuck logic, it got thrown out of the window. -w- Even if it’s a family thing, Danganronpa is its own fandom, no matter how magical your family is. Stick with fandom rules, pal, and stop causing dimensional paradoxes between universes.

(Yeah. You can’t just insert yourself while defying all logic and reasoning. But you do you, I guess.)

Skintone: pale peach Scars: none

(Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that AQ took the time to write down that she has no scars. I mean, that would imply that her other characters have them, or that she will be updating this later.)

I’m not fucking appreciating this. Moving on.

Piercings, tattoos: none Other: none

(-Insert thumbs up here- Okay. Other, none. Welp.)

+ Personality & Relations + Personality: Calm and collected, Lone wolf and emotionless, but is truthfully insecure.

Again, pretty lacking, but better than the others in that you didn’t start out with just a character archetype.

Very lacking. Again, explain yourself. But I agree with Mod Lyn, better than what you wrote for Blaze Angel, I guess.

(Woman of few words, huh? I actually appreciate that she put down “truthfully insecure”. That means that you can go from there with character development. It’s still not balanced with positive and negative, but at least it wasn’t all positive.)

Occupation: Ultimate Duelist (She has gotten rid of the Soldier of Hope title)

Soo…you’re a card game player. That…probably wouldn’t get you into Hope’s Peak. They’re searching for “the future leaders of the world” not “the future leaders of the basement dwellers.”

I’m at least appreciating the fact that she got rid of the Soldier of Hope title, because that was pretty cliche. Kudos to her for doing that. In response to what Lyn said, they literally have an “Ultimate Cosplayer” in the DRV3 game, so the “Ultimate Duelist” is passable in my book. I could list out a bunch of other useless titles that are actually canon, but that would take a considerable amount of time. -w-

(…..Uhh…… I’m just sitting here hoping that she didn’t throw away her Hope title thing just so she can “SUCCUMB TO DESPAIIIRR!!!1!1!1!”)

Sexual Orientation: Straight Relationship Status: Taken

By??

Ryan Komaeda, who else? -w- He’s not part of this review, so we’ll ignore him.

Relationships with Other Characters: Ryan Komaeda: Loves him dearly. Insecure of her emotions with the subject is about him…

ELABORATE. WHY DOES SHE LIKE HIM?? HOW DID THEY MEET???

Called it. But yeah, why, why and why? Um… Yeah, I don’t understand how they got together.

(Didn’t your elementary school teachers tell you an essential writing technique? You know, the “WHO”, “WHAT”, “WHERE”, “WHEN”, and “WHY?” …Oh, and “HOW.”)

… Yeah, pretty much what Triple A said. Off-topic, but can we just called you Mod Battery? Triple A is too long. Or should we just call you AAA?

(Yeah, I really don’t care. Triple A, Battery, or AAA is all good with me o u o ; )

Everyone, meet Mod Battery.

Blaze Angel: Likes her middle sister, but often has to put up with her hyperness

Not a word. Also, explain in detail.

Hm, I can really feel that deep, loving connection between the two.

(Welp….? Alright then.)

Moon: She likes Moon, mainly because of her singing, but worries about moon’s living conditions…

Again, this little detail on why she likes her sister makes her seem a bit shallow. Only the singing??

“Mainly because of her singing” makes it sound like that’s the ONLY trait Kirigiri likes about Moon. =v=;

(..Living condition? Be more specific?? What, is she living on the moon? I would be concerned too if that were the case.)

+ Other + Elder sister of the three, so she is the second intelligent, with moon ranking somewhat first She is rumored to be cold and emotionless, being more of a lone wolf and have only a few friends, but that is only a mask.. Truthfully, under any sort of negativity involved, will her true self be shown; an insecure duelist who doesn’t know how to handle emotions very wells She loves Ryan Komaeda, but the relationship seems shaky, which is observed by the middle sister.

You need to establish the relationship. Explain some of the backstory. Build on her character. Stating that she is secretly insecure doesn’t make her “deep” or even interesting. You need to show events that also demonstrate this personality, otherwise she just looks like the shell that people “think” she is.

Lyn covered most of the things I would’ve said. I can’t muster up any more thoughts to talk about this section.

(Rumors???? REALLY??? ….Welp. If everything is so well hidden, then..I guess that’s plausible? But then again, it really shouldn’t be. The Mastermind has dirt on EVERYONE in the school. Also, SOMEWHAT first? Your age does not entail intellect, but okay then. Plus, why is it only when things are going to crap do you finally come out of that turtle shell of yours? Were your tears too much? Did they wash you out? -puts on sunglasses while air horns wail in the background-)

Oh damn, he sure got you there. Ugh, I know I could say a whole lot more but it’s about 3:40 in the morning and I wanna go to sleep.

(WEAK IS FOR THE SLEEPPPPPPPP)

Yeah, we’re drunk as we write this by the way.

(I SWEAR TO DRUNK I’M NOT GOD)

Don’t worry, I’m god too.

Her background info is surrounded by mystery as well.

You know the drill.

OOOOHHHHHHH SPOOKYYYYYYYY *spooky noises*

(Welp. Again, the Mastermind has dirt on EVERYONE, including YOUR MISTY BUTT YOUNG MISSY.)

Her ancestor is the Moon Warrior Lunarias.

Again with the ancestors? This stuff was never mentioned in Dangan Ronpa.

How relevant is the Moon Warrior Lunarias to the fandom? I bet zero to none, because he/she (I can’t tell because of the flipping unisex name) sounds pretty damn mystical and shit. In Danganronpa, no actual magic is really shown. Spiritually, yes, but physically, no. 

(Again with the random patronymic out of nowhere. Okay. I’m willing to bet that either Lunarias was created by AQ as well with little to no explanation, or they’re some sort of Japanese mythical kid thing.)

I think she made him up along with Solarius, I heard the creator mentioning the two warriors in Angel’s and Kirigiri’s PIRATE BIOS. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT FOLKS, THERE ARE PIRATE BIOS FOR THEM but we ain’t got time for that shiz.

(o  u  o ;;;;; weLP. So what, Moon ain’t cool enough to have some sort of mystical ancestor? I’m kinda confused as to how their lineage and family tree works, but that’s a thing apparently.)

Thankfully this is the only bio for this character. Onto the last one… Blaze Moon? Let’s just call her Moon, as the creator suggested. -_- She has a LOT OF revised bios, but being the lover of suffering I am, let’s review them all! Haha… ha… Kill me.

+ Basic Information + Full Name: Vocaloid Moon, PROJECT MOON Age: ??

Birthdate: ??

As I’ve said before, Vocaloids are not actual people, they are voicebanks assigned “characters,” so the age and “birthdate” of your vocaloid should be recorded.

On the wikias vocaloids apparently do have ages… Miku is 16 if I can recall. So I guess it’s based on when they were created? That or it’s actually their mental age. Whatever. (Regardless, they’re artificial, so measuring them in years for anything really is kinda..You don’t..Really..Okay then.)

Gender: Female Species: Vocaloid

Vocaloid isn’t really a species.

Eh… Try voice synthesizer? Although that as well doesn’t make sense either.

+ Appearance + Height: She’s tall when she wears her platform shoes but without them, she’s only chin high

PICK A SPECIFIC HEIGHT, DAMMIT. WHOSE CHIN HIGH IS SHE???

Have you noticed she didn’t put down weight for any of these characters yet bothered to put down “Height: (insert crappy explanation/question marks)”? Honestly.

Build: skinny and weak Hair Color: red Hair Type: fluffy and long like the others Eye color: red with purple moon in right eye

=_=

You know the our rant about this symbol in eye thing. Moving on…

Skintone: pale peach Scars: Two horizontal scars on her back that looks as if she used to have wings but were entirely yanked off… painfully

Ah, the angst. Repeat after me, kids: She shouldn’t have wings, because she’s a v o c a l o i d. I don’t think any vocaloid canonically has wings.

Oh, spare me the deets about wings. Cliche, and not happening in the fandom of Vocaloid.

(I CALLED IT EARLIER.)

Piercings, tattoos: none Other: she has two hand shaped bruises on her neck from when she was strangle, which is then hidden by a black leather belt chocker

See above. Also, must be a pretty big choker. But why would those stay? Bruises heal.

I’d imagine someone continuously bruised her???? But that would create more consequences right????? Jesus Christ I forgot that this sue had the most angst out of the three sisters. 

(I agree, Zil. Also…If it was continuous bruising, then that probably would interfere with her ability to sing. Or at least, make her have some sort of breath/speaking problem. If you were strangled, then you’re going to have some sort of health issue. Plus…She’s artificial???? She’s not human?????? She would either be a ghostly projection thing OR she’s a robot. Soo…)

I was so sleep-deprived that I completely overlooked the fact that she’s still a Vocaloid. =_=

+ Personality & Relations + Personality: Shy and always nervous. always stutter when speaking and would flinch away if someone would try to harm her. Isn’t very good with socializing with others

Again, needs more depth, but better than before. 

Still lacking like Kirigiri’s, but I agree. A little better.

(“flinch away if someone would try to harm her.” ……..wOOOOOWWW. CONGRAAAATUULAATIIONNNSS! YOU DON’T WANT TO GET HURT LIKE A NORMAL KIIIDD!)

This proves that Mod Battery know what he’s doing while the rest of us are being burdened with the “I can’t stand the sueness” headache.

(Welp, rip you guys lol.)

Occupation: Vocaloid at Vocaloid Studios Sexual Orientation: Straight

(THEY’RE ALL AS STRAIGHT AS A STICK I GUESS. I don’t have anything against straight people, but it would be cool to mix it up, I guess.)

Eh. I personally don’t care about their sexual orientation, at least for these mary sues. =_= It’s obvious that they got SOME DUDE they like. Moving on.

Relationship Status: Taken ((Insert creator’s friend’s icon)’s Daburu)

Relationships with Other Characters: (insert creator’s friend’s icon)’s Vocaloids

Daburu: She’s always more comfortable around him and trusts him 100%. However, she always feel like she’s not good around him. She keeps her distance away from him because Daburu’s best friend. Her relationship is Platonic

You probably shouldn’t feel bad around your friends, but okay. Otherwise, this is pretty decent.

A-Okay – Hold up, how the fuck are they in a relationship then, you just said Moon was taken by Daburu yet here she is, avoiding him like the plague. Contradictions at its finest, my friends!

(Calm down kids ;w; But yeah, contradicting. If you trust someone 100%, that implies that you are perfectly fine with the person being around you since you trust them completely. You can’t just forfeit that when another person is around; you would be okay with their friend if you trust the person entirely. One last thing; platonic? Correct me if i’m wrong, but platonic love means that you love someone, but not in a romantic way. That would technically mean that she’s not taken by him?)

Bodiru: She hates him. Because she has a relationship with Daburu, Bodiru would always try to harm her or kill her so he can have Daburu for himself. Moon often keeps her distances away from the two so she doesn’t bother both of them

From what I’ve seen, even the creator is a bit uncomfortable at you using their characters this way. I don’t think this is his canon personality. Plus, it’s not like you’re completely innocent either.

Er… Bodiru… I wonder why she clashes minecraft youtubers with vocaloid, it doesn’t really help the situation…

(Okay, at least there’s explanation. But uh…Look out guys, we got a yandere over here. I’m also willing to bet that it was because of Bodiru that she got the strangle scars or something.)

Maaku: She thinks of him as an older brother and trusts him 100%. He, as well as Jakku, are probably the ones Moon would tell her problems to, other then Tom.

(Okay. That’s nice. This is a good thing. Maaayybe a little more on why she trusts him so much, but this is a lot better than before.)

Jakku: Like Maaku, Moon thinks of him as an older brother. He, along with Maaku, are the ones Moon would always go to speak her problems to, other then Tom.

Elaborate more. WIth this cut-and-paste relationship, you make it sound as if they are the same person.

Who cares, it’s SEPTIPLIER~ I hope someone detects the /sarcasm/ there.

(waiT YOU’RE RIGHT IT IS THE SEPTIPLIER OHMYGOD I DIDN ‘ T RE AL IZ E–)

Tom Wingfield: She respects him as a boss and sometimes calls him boss at one end and “Father” on the other. she trusts him with her documents

???? Why would you call your boss “Father?” It’s a bit weird, but I’m going to assume that he’s Moon’s creator and that’s why.

Mkay… I guess this isn’t…. bad? -3- (insert creator’s friend’s icon here)’s King Haydess Boo the 14th: She’s alright around him but mostly keeps her distance from him in case his wife might kill her. Because Moon is in love with a Boo, she calls herself Foolish. Why…why is a Mario World character in Vocaloid?????? WHY IS SHE IN LOVE WITH HIM?????

Yeah, fandom mixing is a no-go. Don’t do it. Especially if it’s with more than two fandoms. =_=

(I’m actually okay with fandom mixing, so long that it’s justified or at least has some sort of explanation. It does get kinda confusing, but again, so long things make sense it’s fine. This..On the other hand…Doesn’t really make that much sense. It’s like you’re just plopping him in here just ‘cause. Also… ooHH MU GAWD GUYSS!!1!1! LOOK, IT’S FORBADDEN LOOOOVEEE1!!!1!)

Stan Wingstein: Moon did not know about him at all, but she is supposed to be his artificial daughter.

Ooooh boy. Here comes ze angst. Need I repeat what Vocaloids ACTUALLY are?

Oh Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn You hardly know about Vocaloid do you.

(……WELP.)

Kingsley/ Glitch Moon: Moon despises her, but has no choice but to live with it. Kingsley always causes trouble by either trying to take over Moon’s system, or try to kill her when Kingsley is in her own body

Any sort of “virus” in the Vocaloids’ systems are created by Vocaloid artists for songs. They’re not real and even if they were, VOCALOIDS ARE JUST VOICEBANKS. THEY WOULD NOT AFFECT THE VOCALOIDS’ PERSONALITY. I’m pretty sure no canon Vocaloid has a “glitch” or “secret dark side.”

*sigh* This is getting ridiculous.

(mORE ANGSTTTTTTTT -throws black confetti everywhere-)

The Yo-kai Venoct, Shadow Venoct and Light Venoct (in Japanese: Orochi, Kage Orochi and Hikari Orochi): After a recent update, Moon can now see the impossible, which include these brothers. Their always around her so she’ll be safe. They created this scarf for her to wear, which it also protects her

=_= Whyyyy can you see YOKAI???

TOO MANY FANDOM MIXING, STOP IT

( ; w ; It would, again, be cool if there were some sort of explanation. Also, kindly stop trying to plop all the Japanese things in here. Also, why is it so special that she can see these guys?? I don’t know anything about Yo-kai, so..? But why would they want to protect her??? Cuz they take pity? ; m ; )

+ Other + Moon was born in a test chamber and was to be Stan Wingstein’s Artificial Daughter, but was then a Vocaloid upon awakening in the now abandoned lab.

How…how do you accidentally turn someone into a vocaloid?? (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ))

PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO “ACCIDENTALLY” TURN SOMEONE INTO A VOCALOID.

(weLP. That would mean that she really is artificial, but..Human, like? Not a projection or a robot?? Okkayy then. That doesn’t really…Welp.)

She is the clone of Stan Wingstein’s daughter, Lunar Wingstein, however, even if cloned from her DNA, Moon does not gain any memories from her.

Vocaloids(’ characters) are androids, not clones????

What even at this point. How is this process accidental????? I’m hiccuping spicy hiccups because NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

(hWOT AND SPWOCYY -wINK- but uh..You…Do..You, I guess. I’m just going to nod at this point.)

She once was a singer for a boy band because they were looking for a girl singer, but she left the group after some time because at ever concert, all the male fans would gather at Moon’s feet, making all the women jealous.

But why would there be a bunch of male fans of a boy band??? Seriously, tell me one boy band known for its male fanbase. Also, boy bands are not known for their female singers (it’s in the name) or their use of Vocaloids.

Because she has to be a pretty pretty little princess who’s somehow attractive to ALLLLLLL DEM BOYS AMIRIGHT =_= This is literally just saying, “Hey, she’s hella attractive that all the boys love her and all the women are jealous!” 

(Welppppp. You’re doing it. Also, was she a guest singer? It defeats the purpose of calling the group a boy band if they’re trying to mix things up with having a girl member. Plus, I’m not really going to comment on why there are guy fans, but I would imagine that they’re not the only crowd; there probably would be a majority consisting of girl fans. One last thing; just because you sing beautifully doesn’t mean that you are guaranteed a date.)

Moon was ambushed in an alley and left for dead until Tom Wingfield found her. Moon was admitted to the hospital a few times because she often insisted she would go out by to do the shopping without an escort, because she does not want to burden anyone.

Hospital clerk: Wh…what do you want use to do with this?? This a hospital, not a mechanic.

SHE AIN’T HUMAN, SO SHE AIN’T BE GETTING HURT ANYTIME SOON

(Run on sentences. Grammar. I’m thinking that at this point, AQ is convinced that humans/humanoid people become vocaloids if they’re programable or can fit their role of singing and such. On the topic of the thing.. I hope she realizes how contradicting that is. You go out with no protection, you get mugged and sent to the hospital…you’re causing a lot more trouble then it’s worth. Also, why the heck does she continue to go out if she’s such a target? After the second time a logical person, who would really want to avoid the traumatic experience, have the common sense to stop doing that.)

She has died once, by a Kingsley infected Daburu stabbing her power core, but was back online by Tom. After a recent update, Moon is now wearing a whispy scarf with dragon heads, in which changes color according to Moon’s emotions and it protects her by biting the attacker. 

Moon can see the impossible, but says nothing about it. 

“She’s so speshul u gaiz!!!!11!!! OMG!!!!11!!!!11!!111!!!!!eleventy-two”

SUCH A SPECIALLLLLLL SNOWFLAKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE

(Guys calm down ; w ; it’s a little nit-picky, but just.. A singular, singular infected crush guy. Also, if she apparently is a human mixed with artificial, mechanical behaviors, then.. I’m not entirely convinced that ghosts can control that kind of thing. Why do the scarfs change according to her? Is there some sort of spiritual bond? Again, ghosts and technological human things probably don’t mix.)

But wait, there’s more (bios)!

Name: Vocaloid Moon. Age: 18-19 Birthday: N/A Height: ???? Weight: ??

In the Vocaloid “universe” Vocaloids are androids with realistic weight. Please, for everything that is good and pure in this miserable world, put some information down.

No comment.

(Still refuses to add a height, this time along with weight. As for the birthday…again, I’m really confused as to what her deal is with the human…clone…robot thing is. You’re trying to imply that she’s more mechanical since machines don’t really have birthdays?)

Gender: F Speices: Vocaloid

(Again with the Vocaloid species. Welp.)

Occupation: Vocaloid at Vocaloid Studio, Venoct’s student

Personality: shy and nervous, sometimes to the point of crying if nervous enough. When her scarf is black, she might attack you. If yellow, she’ll be a kind and happy person. When turquoise, she’s normal.

(Uhh…Well.. I guess it’s kinda better than before? Still lacking, but I guess what’s there is…Okay I guess. It’s actually nice that she has more of her flaws in there. Unsure about the scarf part, though; didn’t she say before that only she could see the scarf? It defeats the purpose of including the colors part if others can’t see it.)

Clothes: She always wears her standard Vocaloid outfit. Often she wears Lolita dresses, normal dresses or an outfit she received from the mysterious lord of Yo-Kai

Again. Why the yokai.

Fandom mixing. Like I said, I’m not keen about that. By the way, Mod Battery left so he won’t be reviewing the following information. =3= 

(Clothes ….Mmmmhmmm. Alright.)

(ALSO, WHATCHA SAY ABOUT ME?! I was busy shopping cuz…Reasons?)

And he’s back, never mind!

Status: 90% Vocaloid, 10% Yokai

(ﾉTwT)ﾉ ┫:･’.::･┻┻:･’.::･

STOP THIS NONSENSE ALREADY, YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR

(Percentages don’t always round to nice and pretty numbers, but alright then.)

Secrets: Heightened Sight to see Yo-Kai, able to use Yo-Kai technique, has the Slippery Tribe mark on her arm.

・゜・(ノД`)

WHERE’S THE VODKA

(…It’s nice that she included this, but I was hoping for something that would add to her character so she isn’t 2D. ….Being 10% Yo-kai doesn’t really…entail all of those abilities. Or at least, the percentages and abilities sorta seem..Off-scale. You make her Yokai-ness sound more like it’s complete, when the percentage doesn’t line up That would probably be more like…I dunno… 60% Vocaloid, 40% Yokai??)

Sexuality: straight

Relationships: () Dabaru: although she trust him with her secret to see strange things and is indeed in love with him, she worries that she’ll drag him into her problems too much.

(….Mkay. That’s…Reasonable, I guess. A little more info is preferred..But okay.)

The Slippery Yo-Kai Venoct (and ‘brothers’): When Moon isn’t singing, she can always trust these three for her training. Depending on the scarf color, each teacher varies in attacks.

(…Mmmhhmmm.. Ooohhkaay then. I don’t entirely believe this kid, but I guess that’s a thing. Again, I don’t know much about Yo-Kai, but from an outside perspective..That’s…That still feels self-centered on Blaze. Why do they teach her?)

Lord Enma: She and this lord of Yo-Kai get along pretty well since their first meeting.

W H Y????

H O W???? I hope this is explained in the bio.

(Lord Enmna ….-slow nod- You do you. Though, the way she goes on about Yo-kai kinda undermines the vocaloid part of her, which SHOULD be the majority??)

Bio: Moon was to be the Artifical daughter of scientist Stan Wingstein, who’s biological daughter passed away from a disease. She was supposed to wake up at the correct age, but wasn’t able to be awaken at the specific date because Stan was forced to leave her behind. She woke up at a different age and time, releasing herself from her glass prison and wanders the world herself. However she is different from the rest of the world because of her 'sight’. She can see creatures called Yo-Kai, creatures that love to make mischief and can’t been seen with human eyes. However her eyes are not stronger enough and can only see their sillouettes. Any attempt to see clearer will put a strain to her eyes. 

This is Vocaloid. Yokai should not be involved.

Who cares, she’s already been fandom mixing shit from the start.

(Zil, please ; w ; I know you’re upset, but keep going with the character analysis. As for the thing, yeah. Talking so much about the Yo-kai part should mean that she’s mostly Yo-kai..Wait, is that even a species?? Aren’t they human, just with cool special powers?? Also, this is again a little more nit-picky, but please change the sentense structure. That’s like, looking in one direction, looking in a different one with the first “however”, then looking in the same direction as before with the second “however”. Plus…She never explained why she’s part Yo-Kai. Was it because her timing got screwed over so much that it mutated??)

She was brought into the studio by Tom Wingfield, Stan Wingstein’s nephew, who is unaware that Moon is his uncle’s Artifical Daughter. During her time, Moon enjoys singing solos, but after partnering up with a boy named Dabaru, she enjoys duets as well. She find that she has a crush on him, knowing he will keep her secret and everything. One day Moon had met Venoct disguised as a young boy who had passed out in the snow, but with her 'sight’ she managed to found out that he is really a Yo-Kai. After helping him keep warm, she was rewarded with his medal of friendship, and a night visit from the Lord of Yo-Kai himself. Moon met Lord Enma at night, who helped heightened her 'sight’ by giving her 10% Yo-Kai soul. With that 10%, not only she can 'see’ but also can use Yo-Kai powers. After asking the question about which Tribe she like and who shall be her teacher, Moon has chosen the Slippery tribe and wanted Venoct as her teacher. After the approval, Lord Enma gives her his medal of friendship and a duplicate of Venoct’s aura scarf, warning Moon that the dragons at the endS may attack if angered. Afterwards, Moon has lived in two different worlds, her Vocaloid life and part Yo-Kai life. 

“She’s so speshul u gaiz!!!!11!!! OMG!!!!11!!!!11!!111!!!!!eleventy-two”

Why would the Lord give her fucking Yo-Kai powers. I get that she saved Venoct, but I don’t think it’s that remarkable to be awarded with powers. THEN AGAINNNN, Mythology loves to exaggerate awards and quests as well, so maybbeeeeeee I shouldn’t be complaining. Maybe.

(…Again, grammar. Then again, I suck at it too so I don’t really have much to say, but still. Also, having a crush doesn’t immediately guarentee that he’ll keep a secret. Or the other way around; keeping a secret does not entail romantic attraction. Also, how does her sight work? Can she turn it off and on? Is it always like that? …And did he just magically create a medallion and give it to her as a sign of friendship?? This is not the Indian Peace Medals, nor the 1800s. As for the rest of the thing..Saving one of a leader’s subjecst does not entail a visit from said leader. They got other stuff too. Even if the guy you saved is a leader, the supreme guy doesn’t just go over and say “hey you did good so Imma bless you with special powers now.” I’m still skeptical about the whole percentages and..Wait…SHE WAS ABLE TO SEE AND DO THAT KIND OF STUFF WITH THE YO-KAI //BEFORE// SHE HAD THE PART SOUL THING?! THE HECK?!)

I think this is the last bio for this character. Thank god.

Name: Vocaloid Moon Will respond to: Moon, Squirt (Jakku may call her this), Lass, Miss Moon, Little sister, Madchen (German word for Madame. Nobori and/or Kudari will call her this)

(….dON’T JUST PLOP OTHER LANGUAGES INTO THIS. DUDE. SERIOUSLY.)

Will NOT respond to: Asshole, Bitch, ugly, stupid little sister (Bodiru might say this), any bad names.

There’s…really no need to put this here.

Nobody would respond to those names. I don’t think those are even nicknames, they’re just name calling.

(I’m surprised that she didn’t mention anything about punching the guy who did it, since there was a log of violence earlier.)

Age: ?? Personal symbol: Purple moon

(……Ooooohhhkaayyyy..)

skin color: pale peach Hair color: red Hair style: little bit sticks on right side, tuffs of hair sticks up on left side. Back reaches the middle of her back. Has braid tied to left side of head with purple moon hair clip at the starting end. Front of hair covers right eye

(…Soo…Uhh..Her hair is poofy and medium sized?)

Eye color: red. Right eye has purple moon symbol.

(…Again with the whole moon thing with no explaination.)

Clothes: a white vocaloid outfit with purple edges. The left sleeve is short and comes with arm warmer. Right sleeve is long and reaches past her fingertips. Shirt reaches up to her stomach, where you can see her belly button. Her pants ar also white with purple edges. Has multiple zippers. Left legging is short. Shoes are white with tall purple platform soles.

(Pfft she still wears arm-warmers? What, is this the 80s? And what’s with the platform shoes??)

Other sets of clothes: Black and white Subway Master uniform, Green male depot agent uniform, a lot of Lolita outfits (Shiro, Kuro, Sweet, etc), boy clothes, a pair of all of her brothers clothes (stolen from their bedrooms by Operator).

Oh my god—We’re bring Pokemon into this, kill me. Just please, stick to a solid fandom and stop mixing them with others, unless you have a REALLY GOOD AND DETAILED EXPLANATION.

(o w o ;; welp..There goes Zil again– as for the analysis…You..Do..You I guess. Wait..She has brothers?)

Yeah, Daburu, Bodiru, Maaku, Jaaku, all those people.

(…..She..Oh? Okay???? wAIT SHE’S CRUSHING ON HER BROTHER?! And she never explained that part either ; w ; ;;; she just mentioned how she was cloned or something, nothing about the others and how they’re related.)

That… That’s true.

(TT w TT ;;; okay then)

Accessories: white headset with purple moons on the muffs, arm warmer (comes with the outfit), black leather collar.

(…..Slowly nods. Okay then.)

Injuries, wounds or red marks: a large black bruise around her neck (covered by black leather collar) (caused by Bodiru), a few small non-fatal stab wounds (caused by Bodiru), a scrap on head and kneecaps (caused by tripping on first day at Studio), a few large bruises (caused by falling down the stairs after being pushed by Bodiru), a large hand print on her back (cause by Jakku giving her a friendly slap on the back), another large handprint on her lower back (caused by Maaku trying to kill a mosquito when she couldn’t reach it), some mosquito bites.

I mean, these all will heal…and thinking about it, SHE’S AN ANDROID! SHE SHOULDN’T BRUISE OR BE INJURED THAT EASILY!

She shouldn’t bruise or be injured PERIOD. Freaking—

(Bodiru is really out to get you, huh? There’s really no real explanation about why he’s such a Yandere.. aLSO WHAT’S WITH THE MOSQUITO PART?!?)

Self insert. AQ always gets mosquito bites so… yeah.

(Welp.)

Personality: Fragile like, easily scared, prone to cry when nervous levels are off the charts. Always nervous. In fear of few of her brothers.

More like one.

Literally Bodiru is the only brother terrorizing her. Who else?

(Your personality can’t really be fragile..??? I can’t really take AQ seriously about the nervous part when you describe it as “prone to cry when nervous levels are off the charts”. Instead, I hear the freaking Dragon Ball Z in the background. Those are actually very realistic things that she’s described, so props to her, but still, you should really explain a little more.)

likes: Dabaru, sweets and pastries, singing, cooking, drawing, hard work, strawberries, moons, nice people, meat, some veggies, some fish, singing parody songs.

(Pretty stereotypical stuff, but alright then.)

dislikes: Bodiru and jinboppu, rude people, veggies, raw food, lizards, snakes, spiders, some bugs, poisonous things, etc

(Same as– wait, pFFFT JINBOPPU?! THE HECK?! REALLYYYYY?????)

In love with: Dabaru

(….bUT ISN’T HE YOUR BROTHER? I shouldn’t really say anything about that since I ship Skycest and crap, as well as being dubbed the Shipping Satan, but..Incest? Alright then?? Maybe..Justify it????? I can justify the different forms of Skycest that I ship but–)

Um…

Really hates: Bodiru, Jinboppu Terrified of: Bodiru, Jinboppu, spiders

=_=

Fuck, I forgot about Jinbop. Jesus Christ… 

(I can’t take this seriously anymore. Just..Jinboppu–)

Info: ~ can sing to the different emotions in every song ~ has no specific pitch in tone.

(…..I’M PRETTY SURE MUSIC DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY??????? I WOULD KNOW SINCE I’M IN BAND AND PLAY MULTIPLE INSTRUMENTS??????)

FUN.

~ often sings parody songs for fun or for her own purpose. ~ likes to use the voice changer function in her headset to copy her brothers voices.

(Likes to use the voice changer ….Soo..You are a mechanical human thing. Wtf? Please, for the love of god, choose a freaking thing; are you more human or more mechanical????)

~ is in love with Dabaru, but is shy to make the first move. ~ likes to take walks with Aaron, Maaku and Jakku.

(who’s Aaron?)

~ likes to hang around with Nobori and Kudari ~ always hide from Bodiru and Jinboppu

(Wtf did you do to Jinboppu to make him hate you so much?)

According to some of her dA gallery pictures, Jinboppu is a yandere for Moon, that’s why she hides away from him.

(Um??? Being Yandere and scaring the crap out of your senpai is…Counter productive??)

~ she had no particular favorite song; she likes them equally

(….Them? Specifics?)

~ the only time she has a sexual side is when she sings sexual songs, other then that, she is normal and nervous. ~ always gets strangled by Bodiru, other then that, it might be sometimes a knife going to her head or being pushed down the stairs

Why are you painting him the bad guy because you like the dude he’s paired with???

With every love interest comes with a lovely and badly characterized love rival. Sighhhhhhhhhh…

~ sometimes might call Tom “Father”. Most of the time is “Boss”

(…….Mmkay.)

FINAL VERDICT:

Since Mod Lyn and Mod Battery had to leave, I’ll be delivering the final verdict alone.

*clears throat*…

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

BURN AT THE STAKE!!!!

But in all seriousness, these characters are ridiculous. What’s even more outrageous is that they all have the same appearance, yet in different ‘fandoms’. You need to get their family genetics/lineage right and put them in the same fandom or something, otherwise this will not do.

Barely anything in these bios are salvageable. You may have to start from scratch again, but if you choose to fix your OCs, be warned, it’s going to take a long time to fix them before they’re considered decent.

The mods and I had a tough time sifting through these bios, but we made it. We’re alive, with the cost of our precious sleep taken way from us.

All in all, just do your research for the fandoms, please.

~Mod Zilvani

EDIT: Battery came back and demanded his own separate judgment. THANKS BATTERY.

(aLRIGHT, SO my judgement. Honestly, there’s a lot of wishy-washy mumbo jumbo. It just feels like everything just..Is..Just put in there randomly and without any reason. It’s just there for the sake of the character. If you explain a lot more, that would deffinantly help. It really does seem like Blaze, all three, are Mary sues; they’re not “perfect”, but they’re so freaking special but angsty and powerful but weak. All these contridictions. It really feels unnatural and forced. You gotta fix that, you gotta make things flow more naturally.

I was more or less sane while looking through all this bio stuff. You and Lyn were dying–)

BECAUSE WE WERE SLEEP DEPRIVED–

(So was I but I still kept a level head–)

shhhhh I can’t handle sleep deprivation as well as you can ;A;

(Welp–)

(Until next time–)

(I’m the “OH BABY A TRIPLE” A BATTERIES, and we’ll see ya later!~)

Yup. Buh-bye~! -u-

~Mod Zilvani and Battery

[marysuereactors]

Fandom List Each Mod Can Do

Mod Vixel (She/Her/He/Him/They/Them):

~Alice in the Country of Hearts/Clover/Diamond/Joker Etc. ~Angel Beats ~Assassination Classroom ~Avengers ~Black Butler ~Bendy And The Ink Machine (a little bit) ~Code Lyoko (May need to rewatch it) ~Creepypasta ~DANGANRONPA ~Deadman Wonderland ~Divergent ~Fairy Tail ~Five Nights At Freddy’s ~Free! Iwatobi Swim Club (a tiny bit so they’re not totally sure about it) ~Fruits Basket ~Hamilton ~Heathers ~Hetalia ~Homestuck ~Hunger Games ~Kagerou Project/Mekaku City Actors (A little bit) ~Kill la Kill ~Magical Girl Raising Project ~Marvel ~Minecraft ~Mirai Nikki ~Mystic Messenger ~Naruto (barely, it’s been awhile) ~Noragami ~One Piece ~OFF ~Percy Jackson and the Olympians (And anything else Rick Riordian related) ~Pokemon ~Powerpuff Girls ~Presentable Liberty ~Rise Of The Guardians ~RWBY ~Say I Love You (Only a few episodes, not that deep in) ~SHELTER ~Sonic ~Soul Eater ~Soul Eater Not ~Steven Universe ~Studio Ghibli (half and half) ~Team Fortress 2 ~Total Drama Island Series ~The Seven Deadly Sins ~Toradora ~Vampire Knight (a little bit, not much because it’s been a long time) ~Vocaloid ~Undertale ~Yandere Simulator

Mod Battery (He/Him/They/Them):

~Assassin’s Creed ~Attack on Titan ~Avatar: The Last Airbender ~Code Lyoko ~Creepypasta ~Danganronpa ~Dark Souls ~Divergent ~Five Nights At Freddy’s ~Hamilton ~Hello Neighbor ~Hetalia ~Homestuck ~Hunger Games ~Kingdom Hearts (vaguely and barely actually) ~Kirby ~Moana ~Minecraft Youtubers/Minecraft ~Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children ~MLP ~Naruto ~Noragami ~One Punch Man ~Owari No Seraph ~Ouran High School Host Club ~Patapon ~Pokemon (sort of) ~Presentable Liberty ~SHELTER ~Sonic ~Splatoon ~Studio Ghibli ~Super Paper Mario ~Tokyo Ghoul ~Total Drama Island ~Torchlight 2 ~Undertale ~Wizard101 ~Xenoblade Chronicles ~Yuri!! on Ice ~Zelda

Mod Lyn (She/Her):

~SHELTER *full list has yet to be announced*

Mod Atsu (He/Him/They/Them): ~Assassination Classroom ~Attack On Titan (kind of) ~Avatar: The Last Airbender ~Bendy And The Ink Machine ~Boku No Hero Academia ~Creepypasta (They will be brutal) ~Danganronpa ~Doctor Who ~Five Nights At Freddy’s (hate it though) ~Gravity Falls ~Harry Potter ~Heathers ~Kill la Kill ~Lord Of The Rings ~Mob Psycho 100 (Getting around to watch it) ~OFF (Gonna watch it soon) ~One Punch Man ~Osomatsu-san ~Ouran High School Host Club ~Pokemon ~Presentable Liberty ~Rick And Morty ~RWBY (Need to rewatch it) ~SHELTER ~Steven Universe ~Studio Ghibli ~The Seven Deadly Sins ~Undertale ~Vocaloid (somewhat) ~Voltron ~Yandere Simulator ~Atsu can do anything so long as they have the OC info and fandom info

Mod Kisa (She/Her):

~Adventure Time (A lil bit) ~Aijin! ~Anything Greek and Roman Mythology (Basically Percy Jackson and the Olympians) ~Avatar: The Last Airbender ~Bendy And The Ink Machine ~Boku No Hero Academia ~Creepypasta (HELLA BRUTAL IF YOU CHOOSE THEM) ~Danganronpa ~Five Nights At Freddy’s (Hate it though) ~Gravity Falls ~Haikyuu ~Harry Potter (A bit) ~Homestuck ~Hunger Games ~Hunter x Hunter ~Kirby ~Kiss Him Not Me ~Kiznaiver ~Legend Of Zelda ~Mario ~Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir ~MLP and other simple fandoms ~Mystic Messenger ~Ouran High School Host Club ~Pokemon ~Powerpuff Girls ~Regular Show ~Rise Of The Guardians ~SHELTER ~Splatoon ~Seldom (OCs that don’t fit in any fandom) ~Steven Universe (A lil bit) ~Studio Ghibli ~Teen Titans ~Undertale (Not a whole lot) ~Vocaloid ~Voltron ~Yuri!!! On Ice ~Kisa can do anything so long as they know the OC info or the fandom info There are other fandoms we may have missed, so feel free to ask about a fandom we don’t know and we’ll see if we know it!

~Mod Vixel