#blitzo: he was number one!

[a-hazbin-spider]

He walks over and just stuffs his face in Angel's chest floof.

Woah- the man was on a mission. A mission right into his fluffy tits- strikes the landing too. Angel feels a short laugh leave him before one hand starts petting that head between his horns- spikes and all. “Rough day, or somethin’? Or do I got that much allure?”

[birdy-babe]

I LOVE U BLITZO

[anthurak]

Okay I’ve been meaning to talk about this since Mastermind dropped, but wanted to take some time to think about it first.

Namely, that this line/development Andrealphus drops that “the heir (Octavia) is not yet of age” is… really weird.

Because as I’ve been delving into in my timeline-theory posts, it seems like we are looking at just under two years having passed since the start of the show (specifically, at least one year and nine months just between Spring Broken and Ghostfuckers). Which in turn means that, assuming there haven’t been any unmentioned retcons, Octavia HAS to be at least 18, and could easily be 19 at this point.

So then what exactly IS the Goetia age of inheritance then?

Furthermore, Octavia not yet being old enough to inherit her father’s position actually contradicts some things we’ve already heard and even some of Andrealphus’s own previous motivations.

As in, if we go back to Western Energy, it sounds like the whole REASON he got Stella to call off the hit on Stolas in the first place is because Octavia was already old enough to inherit everything from Stolas, leaving Stella (and by extension, Andrealphus) with nothing.

I mean think about it. If Octavia isn’t actually of age to inherit, as Andrealphus claims this episode, then he would ABSOLUTELY want Stolas dead because then he could just pull exactly what he does at the end of Mastermind. Even just going back to the start of this episode with Andrealphus and Stella, it sounds like all of their plotting and scheming (and by ‘their’, I mean Andrealphus because Stella clearly does not give a fuck) has been trying to get around the fact that they can’t simply kill Stolas, because then everything would go to Octavia.

Not to mention this idea of Octavia already being old enough to inherit goes back even further. Just look at Stolas’s argument with Stella when he says “…and the only thing the Goetia wanted from us (a precautionary heir) is already 17, so it’s over”. Even if 17 isn’t the actual age of inheritance, the whole point of Stolas’s statement here is essentially ‘Octavia is basically old enough to be considered an adult so there isn’t any point for us to keep up this charade of a marriage’, implying that Octavia is at least pretty close to an age of inheritance.

And going back even further to Octavia’s FIRST APPEARANCE in Loo Loo Land, the entire POINT of that episode, and really ALL of Octavia’s appearances since, was about Octavia and Stolas coming to grips with the fact that she is not a child anymore.

So, uh… what’s going on here?

Welllll… what if there are actually some SHENANIGANS at play?

As in, what if Andrealphus was LYING about Octavia not yet being of age? You know, like he was doing basically every time he opened his mouth in that courtroom? What if Octavia IS in fact of age to inherit everything from Stolas, and Andrealphus and Stella (again basically just Andre) have done some number-fudging to make it seem like she isn’t as part of this powerplay?

Now admittedly there is one major wrinkle to this in that Stolas was standing right there to call bullshit when Andrealphus claimed Octavia wasn’t yet of age to inherit. That being said, it could be argued that Stolas was so mentally and emotionally overwhelmed by everything at this point that he didn’t catch it. I mean, Stolas forgetting about Octavia whenever Blitzo-related shenanigans/bullshit are afoot has been a VERY consistent trend all series, something we even saw this very episode.

Plus, since I also know some people are going to say that Andrealphus’s evil plan hinging on nobody looking too closely at Octavia’s actual age is extremely flimsy, let’s consider that the evil plan he enacted this episode also didn’t need him to TRICK SATAN either. Basically, I think it’s quite in-character for Andrealphus to suffer from classic Villainous Complexity Addiction Syndrome.

And you know, Andrealphus and Stella lying about Octavia being younger than she actually is as part of their villainous scheme could actually work VERY well, both narratively and thematically.

Narratively, it provides an easy, straightforward failure-point for Andrelphus’s evil plan, while notably also not providing some magic-reset-button for Stolas’s own fuckups. His whole claim to Stolas’s power and position is entirely reliant on Octavia NOT being old enough to inherit, so if it were to come out that she IS in fact old enough, then everything would thus immediately go to HER and leave Andre completely screwed. While also notably not restoring Stolas’s own position and leaving the status-quo shakeups of him losing his power and position still firmly in place.

Plus giving Andy-the-not-actually-a-sister-fucker exactly the reason to fly into an unhinged murderous rage to try and kill Stolas and Blitzo out of spite.

And thematically speaking, given how Octavia’s whole arc as a character thus far in all of her appearances has been about coming to grips with the fact that she is not a child anymore, I think it would be rather fitting if part of her mother’s and uncle’s big villainous scheme was to infantilize her and try to pretend she is still a child.

I mean they straight up had the villain call his sister “the wholesome parent”.

Not to mention that the show essentially pointing at the fans who have been really insufferable about infantilizing Octavia for the sake of ‘wholesome Stolitz family’ headcanons and comparing them to the villains sounds REALLY funny to me XD

[littlepputo]

Can u write hb + hh characters comforting reader after they’ve had a bad day (pls add stolas in 💗)

-bmbbl4e

A/N: sorry if this took so long. I forced myself out of my writer block for this

Tw: none

Hb + Hh comforting their S/O after a bad day

Part 1 Part 2

Stolas:

I feel like Stolas would know right away. After you'd come home not giving him a "Good afternnoon" or a "How was your day".

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➷➹➷➹

"S/O what's wrong" Stolas said after you had came home a frown on your face. You were clearly frustrated and he knew it. "I'm fine just had a bad day"

Stolas wasn't gonna push it any further, but he would try to find some way to make his S/O feel better.

Stolas would probably and most likely take his S/O to their favorite spot, watch a movie or cuddle.

In the end Stolas was find some way to make you feel better and forget about your horrible day.

➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹

Asmodeus

As seen in every episode that he is in as of late we can tell that he cares about his lover(s). Asmodeus might be the embodiment of lust but when it comes to his S/O he's a very supportive man.

So when you come home with a scowl on your face he immediately asks what's wrong, it's just a natural reaction.

➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹♡➷♡➹

"N/N, whats wrong why do you look so sad?" Asmodeus questioned you as you walked through the doors of your shared bedroom. A thud was heard, dropping your work bag on the floor and mumbling something about "a bad day". He of course had to make his special someone fell better.

If you're in a relationship with both Asmodeus and Fizzaroli, he'll probably ask Fizz for some jokes are something to make their parenter happy.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Fizzaroli

I love him so much

Fizzaroli being an performer he would most probably pick up on his S/O if they were upset, something he picked up from doing his job.

Fizzaroli being the loveable clown/jester he is can't let his number one fan be be upset. So he's set it out as his job to make you his lover the happiest demon in hell.

If your in a relationship with both Fizzaroli and Asmodeus like I said before with Ozzie they would both do something to make you feel better about your horrible day so anything and I mean anything will do.

Wanna take a nap... Sure ect they'll baby like it's the last day in hell.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

"How about we cuddle up on the bed?" The deep voice of Asmodeus picking you and Fizzaroli up into his hands.

"Or I could tell you some jokes you know my jokes always make you laugh" Adds in Fizzy as he holds you tightly brushing his hands through your hair as Ozzie walked down the hallway to the room you all share.

"A nap would be great" you said after Asmodeus made his way into the shared room walking over to the large heart shaped bed putting you and Fizzaroli on top of his chest so he doesn't squish the both of you.

In the end a little nap with your favorite demons helped out just fine, that doesn't mean they arent gonna pamper you making sure that this is the best day of your life.

A/N:thats all I could come up with characters Blitzo, Veroskia, Charlie and Angel dust will be added in part 2

[a-hazbin-spider]

His body practically lays on the table, chin resting in palm while the numbers and memos on the board were taken into consideration it seems. Hardly looks like he was bothered, in fact, he was almost looking amused!

“Yeh. You are damn impressive at that. Y’know, I bet money my Pop would’ve taken a shinin’ to ya’s. You’re damn good at knockin’ off a target.” Despite all other times he might mention his father, that was a compliment! Speaking of… “Not even close my ass..! Not every day I get invited in for a cup of coffee b’cuz you think I might’a been cold. It’s okay t’be a sweetie y’know, you ain’t gotta lie~.” Bleb! His tongue slinks out in a tease. Your move Blitz!

"How many people have you killed?" (Probably pointing to his whiteboard fjfs) And/ or

"Are you always this sweet?"

@a-hazbin-spider ?

"Oh shit...I've lost count, to be quite fucking honest with ya." Blitz laughed, bragging a bit without even meaning to. Though when he realized what he said, he puffed out his chest. "Yup, I'm the best assassin in that case."

He paused at the next question, feeling his face burn up. "S-sweet? Pff! Not even close! I'm the worst!"

[tealvenetianmask]

Hi all. Here's my take on why Stolas doesn't need a whole rebound relationship with the Better Than Blitzo guy or Vassago or anyone.

It baffles me when people frame his lack of sexual and romantic experience as a problem that needs to be solved through relationships with other people.

I get the idea that he's a sheltered, neurodivergent, and until recently, closeted, gay man going through a second adolescence- and that causes him to have expectations for relationships that are based more on fiction than reality. I really do. And I think the way out of that problem is to truly understand the person he's trying to have a relationship with. Not to learn about relationships in general by dating around in order to practice for the person he actually has feelings for.

I also find it pretty narrow-minded to assume there's some amount of experience (in terms of number of partners) that's necessary for someone to understand relationships. A lot of queer and/or neurospicy folks come to relationships late, and for some that means a lot of different partners, and for others that means falling in love with just one, and both are fine.

A certain number of partners doesn't make you more or less of an adult, and frankly I find it a little infantilizing to assume that Stolas doesn't know who he wants as a 36? year old man just because he hasn't met some threshold for what a "normal" sexual/romantic development is. He might be going through a period of self-discovery where he's overly excited and wrong about things and makes mistakes, but that doesn't mean he's an actual teenager.

Shit, I've had some shorter relationships that I would skip if I could go back in time. Did I learn from them? Sure. Could I have learned those same lessons without them and saved myself some time and frustration? Absolutely.

I don't mind that he made out with some guy at a party. I don't mind that he might hook up with that person. A little experimenting likely won't hurt. It doesn't mean that he needs to go through a whole other relationship in order to discover that he actually loves the person who he knows he loves.

Never mind that Blitz actually does hold the key to Stolas discovering a lot of his shortcomings. And figuring those out is Stolas's whole character arc.

[elf-kid2]

Stolitz is such an interesting ship!

Because on the one hand, it's about a MAGICAL PRINCE who gets swept of his feet by this absolute ACTION-HERO CASSANOVA of an ASSASSIN! It's a Shelter Royal, a Badass Bad Boy who combed his balcony, and a kinky moonlit deal to hold it all together!

There's even a Princess and at LEAST 2 Pop-Stars, AND a long-lost Twin bringing in that Relationship Drama and Hidden Lore! SUCH a Hollywood Romance!

.

But.

On the OTHER hand... This is the story of two deeply depressed, traumatized men in their 30's, trying to navigate a relationship that's a big more complicated than either of them would like.

BOTH of them have problems relating to alcohol, and NEITHER of them is in the habit of being vulnerable with their feelings! And they're both parents, trying to be better Dads than their fathers were to them.

Mixing business with pleasure is often so messy. Especially when money AND feelings get involved.

Blitzo is a chaotic gremlin with a very *niche* sense of humor, weird taste in snacks, and a number of questionable personal habits. Stolas is a somewhat-pushy, socially-isolated nerd who can't read the room, and has a few bad habits of his own that he needs to kick.

Both have some room for improvements-- and both are at an age where if you want to grow and improve, you gotta do it ON PURPOSE.

They might've fallen in love, might've caught feelings by accident-- but hot damn, THEY WILL LEARN TO LOVE EACH OTHER ON PURPOSE!

.

Anyway. The duality of the relationship dynamic(s) gets to me, sometimes!

[flower-boi16]

the "both sides have made mistakes" thing is actively funny to me because as usual it ignores that the real issue is in the framing

the worst ways the narrative twists itself to make Blitzo look better is by making what happened to Fizz just a freak accident (fr the guy carrying the candles if the circus was that flammable is just as responsible for that one) and by not really having M&M chew him out for the stalking. but the show never denies he has issues and causes problems by pushing people away before they can leave. and some places where the narrative suggested ambiguity in season 1 are actively removed to make Blitzo look worse in season 2 - he has a problem with Verosika's alcoholism in s1 but in s2 he's made unambiguously the only bad guy in their breakup

the worst ways the narrative twists itself to make Stolas look better is by: having Stolas and Blitzo both say cheating isn't bad/Stolas' cheating doesn't count as cheating because Stella is mean (basically) on multiple occasions, rewriting Stella from a classist jerk to an abusive monster, having an entire flashback episode devoted to making the viewer feel sorry for Stolas in the most on the nose way possible, retconning in Stolas treating Blitzo like a human being over the phone that happens entirely offscreen, comparing Stolas to all Blitzo's exes even though they weren't dating, massively inflating the number of people who hate Blitzo to make Stolas look better and the most telling thing of all: the entire awful argument in Apology Tour where the writers made Stolas look like a hypocritical gaslighter by ignoring all the ways he treated Blitzo in season 1 and never allowed Blitzo to mention any of them when it would have made perfect sense

Blitzo got a season that built up to the climatic point of having everyone he's ever wronged read him for filth in a mushroom samba sequence.

Stolas got a season where every episode that mentioned or featured him either retconned something to make him look better, inserted something that happened offscreen to make him look better or refused to allow other characters to bring up season 1 events to make him look better. S2 built up to the climatic scene of a trial sequence where no one gets to call out Stolas for making the deal to get sex, he gets to look like a hero for "sacrificing" himself (instead of it being framed like the book fiasco is equally his responsibility, which it is) and he ends the season having lost his daughter (but only because she somehow doesn't know how totally evil Stella is and how totally not responsible Stolas is because she's only allowed to be mad at him for the trial thing) but gets handed the consolation prize of Blitzo's unconditional love which he's done nothing outside of a single grand gesture to earn. Oh, and then he follows that up by freeloading off of Blitzo, trying to wreck his office during a temper tantrum and being a passive aggressive ass, none of which the show frames like something anyone should have a problem with

so, yeah. when it comes to the way the writers don't want to challenge the characters Stolas and Blitzo aren't even in the same postcode, never mind playing the same game. they're just not remotely comparable

^^^^^^^ THIS.

The entire argument that "they both made mistakes/their both in the wrong" falls flat on it's face when the narrative doesn't treat their mistakes as bad as they actually are. Blitzo gets dragged for filth for his mistakes and called about by both the narrative and everyone around him, and his truama and whatever baggage he may have is never used as an excuse by the narrative, which, is good writting, I'll give it that, the problem is that the narrative is holding him accountable using the wrong character.

Stolas' mistakes, however, are either ignored, downplayed, or justified by the narrative so to make it look like they weren't actually mistakes. Him cheating on Stella? Well, Stella was abusive, so Stolas was actually in the right to do that. Stolas repeatedly belittles and dehumaizes Blitz, making him uncomfortable around Stolas all the time and giving the impression that he views Blitz as nothing but a sex toy, continueing to make sexual advances to Blitz even when he can see it's uncomfortable? Actually, Stolas loves Blitz and thinks very highly of him, those sexual comments were actually Stolas thinking that Blitz enjoyed being treated that way, it's just Blitz's fault for not seeing that.

Stolas coercing Blitz? I mean, ya, the deal wasn't right, but let's just pretend it wasn't totally coercian guys!/s

You get the picture. Stolas' mistakes and actions are so frequently recontextualized and excused by the narrative multiple times, and, aside from maybe his mistakes as a father, the series has not called out the full extent of his behavior and I don't think it will.

Many fans like to counter this with "oh, the show will call him out later!", but, the thing is, it should have called him out now. Because the narrative's refusal of calling Stolas out actively harms the writting of not just Stolas, but Blitz as well.

Blitz's character arc of growing to become a better person was kickstarted by having him get gaslit and guilt-tripped into apologizing to his abuser. Even if the show calls Stolas out later, it wont change that unless it directly calls this out and recontextualized.

Series held Blitz accountable for something that he wasn't even in the wrong for. That's the issue, I don't care if Apology Tour was dedicated to calling out Blitz, it did a shit tier job of that because it didn't call out STOLAS. The series needs to start holding Stolas accountable and actually call out the full extent of his actions, not downplaying them, not justifying them, no excuses.

With Octavia their taking a step in the right direction but, we'll have to wait and see if they'll commit to it.

[a-hazbin-spider]

"Yo...sorry I keep vanishing." Blitz literally pops out of nowhere, landing beside Angel. Did he just follow him? "I've been trying to figure shit out, but I'm gonna try not to disappear anymore."

The sudden presence might’ve startled the sex worker pretty good, but it didn’t take long at all to recognize his surprise company. And the relief that floods his face isn’t even attempted to be hidden. Blitz actually gets snatched in a four armed hug.

“Blitz! Yer a’right!” The exclamation is followed by something almost embarrassingly soft while his forehead bonks gently onto a red head. “Thanks, f’comin’ back, y’know- after ya disappeared. Are ya… all figured out?”

[ @rodeoblitz O: !!!]

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

In An Age Where People Encourage Cutting Out Toxic Family Members, People Are Whining About Octavia Rightfully Wanting Nothing To Do With Her Neglectful Father

It's ironic in real life these people would be encouraging people to cut out people they would perceive as toxic in a hat, but here they think Octavia is being unfair and cruel to her dad. Sorry, but after what he's put him through he should be grateful she saved his sorry behind from her uncle. Fans will say she owes him for giving her a happy childhood and putting up with Stella so she has a normal life, but that point is moot when he trashes it all so that he can have an open affair that uses disruption in the house. And also instead of getting away from an abusive spouse for her sake, he instead stakes it out so he flex his martyr complex. And he keeps breaking one promise after another until finally he just straight admits he can't admit without his affair partner and sacrifices himself for him without regards how it would affect her. It breaks the biggest promise he wouldn't abandon her. And even if he tries to say he had no choice, he still chose to lay down his life for Blitzo over considering how to comfort his daughter if he had lost his life. That was incredibly shitty and even though we know the show will make her forgive him I would like to think in an AU she goes the Hollyhock route and cuts all ties with him to the point she even changes her phone number.

[penelope-potter]

How Did You Know This Feeling?~

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel/ Helluva Boss Pairing: Alastor x Fem! Owl Hybrid! Reader + (Stolas x Reader) Summary: You are very good friends with the Owl King Stolas. However, after a while he called you over for a shoulder to cry on because of his heartbreak from Blitzo. You were gone straight away to help your dear friend, but not leaving your own crush Alastor slightly jealous, so he follows you. Warnings: No one

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♥♥♥

You sat on the couch, next to an old antic telephone. You sighed. Charlie came up with the great idea to bring a phone inside the lobby, in hope that more sinners were about to call and check in. You didn't really liked the idea of letting other filthy demons who might not take all this seriously in, but the princess of hell seemed so eager about this, so you just volunteered to be the secretary in hope to tell if there are false tongues under it. Now you regret it, because for at least the twentieths time some dickhead called, only to laugh at you for being so stupid and open up a hotel. You were more cursing and screaming into the phone than to actually take a new resident in. Charlie stood there for a while, nervously tapping with her foot and biting her nails. "I think it was a bad idea..." She said finally, after you slammed the listener back to it’s station. You took in a deep breath before turning to her, smiling thin. "No Charlie it was a good idea. But it was obvious that this were going to happen or?" She just nodded. "I just thought that would be easier to actually bring more sinners to our hotel..." She said again, a sad expression on her face. You sighed and got up. "Don't be so sad, you know I can't take that." You smiled and hugged her side. "You know, Someday someone who actually feel like redeeming will call. And I will be there to guide them to us. After I inspected them of course." She smiled with big eyes at you, wiping around her right eye to hide the tear which was slipping out. "You sure you want to continue the job? You sounded very angry a few minutes ago..." "Noo, I just got a bit emotional that's all..." You laughed and waved it off. She was right, it pissed you off in every way possible. But you didn't wanted to disappoint her, so- how bad could this job be, sitting around and arguing with some wanna-be-sinners? "Alright. Thank you (Y/N)." "Anytime."

You smiled and went back to your little cozy place. Today was a calm, quite day. You placed a notebook, a pen and your already third tea on the table in front of the sofa and watched the phone silently. It was Alastor's he brought in one day after Charlie told him so. You didn't know if it was an actual phone which was for sale anywhere or just a magic appearance of his. However, you liked it. It was red and blue with golden ornaments, and it reminded you a bit of Stolas. You saw him rarely since you met him. You also never got the chance to change numbers, so you would have to travel a mile to visit him. After a while the phone ringed again, and you jumped slightly. Great, another dumb ass. You sighed and took the receiver to your ear. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, where sinners are going to be winners in no time! How can I help you?" You said in a placed on cheery voice and rolled your eyes, ready to scream at anyone who might as well fuck you up today. "(Y/N)? Oh for hell's sake I'm so glad to hear from you!" You knew this voice. "Stolas? Is- is it you?" You sat up and your smile grew wider. "Of course! I wanted to call you so much earlier but I couldn't find a way to contact you..."

The two of you talked for hours it seemed, you, already forgetting that you're technically at work and blocked the whole line, but you just hoped that no one who actually wanted to be redeemed, was in line waiting. You didn't even realized that a certain demon appeared right behind you in the room, curious looking over at you, wondering with who you might talk so happily about. After a while he recognize the way you talked with them and his smile stiffened. Stolas. It was not as if he didn't liked you, having a friend of high royalty. It wasn't the fact that you seemed to be so light headed around him, talking with him for so long already, you shifted the receiver to your other hand, and it definitely wasn't the fact that he was a bit jealous of him. He shook his head surprised. Why does he fretting about some demon king talking with you? It drove him insane how you made him feel. You talked with him too, and you could also share long talk sessions. But it never was this exiting like it was with him. He noticed how your expression looked like, so relaxed and calm. You played with the cable string of the phone, and your leg was bouncing up and down from the couch rest. With him you always were stiffed, attentive and careful. You laughed too, but there was always something holding you back to be your whole true self. Oh how badly he wanted you to talk with him like you did with Stolas. He wanted you to swing your legs over his armchair, and title your head to your side, playing with a book of his shelf which was long forgotten or to grab his arm in excitement. He only realized how hard he grabbed his cane, as his fingers began to shake. "Oh...I'm so sorry Stolas. I didn't knew that he's feeling this...kind of way about you." His ears peeked up. You shifted your body down to place your elbow on your knee. You listened for a while until he went a few steps up to his left to see your expression. It was sad, understanding. Like you always were when someone is having a bad day. You were always the one someone could go to when they have a problem. You were an angel, and god knows why you end up here.

You started to play with the cable string again, but this time more stiffened. "Please don't cry. I-I would love to help you somehow...yes I know, I know..." He came closer until he was standing a few feet behind the couch. "Okay you know what? I will talk to my boss Charlie if I can take two days off and come to your place." And instant urge of madness flowed inside him and his smile twitched at the edges. You were about to visit him? All alone among the sinners? It was not like he didn't trusted you in your ability to help yourself, but it made him uncomfortable letting you go alone. He wanted to keep you safe, no matter what. Another thing what was going on inside him for the second you walked through the doors of the hotel. He started to think that he grew some kind of attachment for you... "Don't worry Stolas. I'll talk with her. It's only two days." You said goodbye to him and hang on. As you turned around you jumped and let out a terrified gasp. "Al! Geez don't scare me like that!" His heart fluttered by the nickname you gave him. "Oh I'm sorry sweetheart, I just came by and heard you talking. Who was it, a sinner?" He asked Innocent, your body already stiffened up. He could scratch his nails on the soft fabric of the couch rest. "No it was Stolas. My- my friend. Poor thing, he is heart broken because of his unrequired love for Blitzo..." You said, he noticed your also sad expression. "I don't want him to feel that way, so I will talk to Charlie if I can have two days off, so I can give him company." It costs his best to stay calm, and not letting his anger took the hand over him. You didn't done anything wrong, it was him who was the problem. "Oh that's unfortunate to hear. But don't you think it's a long way to his palace only for two days? You already need a day to walk to him alone..." He said, the grip on his cane more harder than usual you thought. "Uhm yes I know, but when I leave today, I might be there by him till daytime so-" "Don't you think he can handle this...problem on his own?" He said, his smile wider and his eyes more narrowed to slits. You could feel your heart skipped a beat. Obviously he couldn't know- he doesn't love anyone and never got his heart broken then. The fact that he's saying this to the person who loves him and knows exactly how it feels like being trapped in a one sided love, only makes it worse. "No he can't Alastor." You said slightly angered, his eyes opened up a bit surprised. "It's not so easy as you might think. I know that you don't understand those feelings, and be glad about it. But let me tell you it's not a joke." You sighed. "It really feels like someone is about to rib your heart out of your chest, and the worst thing about is that you love this person anyway..." You ended your sentence only for him to grew more curious. "How did you know that feeling so well sweetheart?"

You stared at him blankly, your head empty and not a single thought seemed to enter your mind for him to give. The only thing that came close to was Fuck, but you couldn’t give this to him now. “I…” You started as the door flew open and Angel came in together with Husk. They looks darted to you and their chatter got quite in an instant. “Sorry, we interrupting?” Husk asked, more you than him. “Uhm n-no not at all!” You said jumping off the sofa. “Do you know where Charlie is?” You changed the subject, while you could feel the look from the demon behind you stabbing holes in your back. “Uhm she’s in the kitchen, trying some new stuff…” Angel said, and looked between Alastor and you, clearly smelling the thick air. “Thank you!” You turned on your heels and gave the deer demon just a slightly side eye. “I’m sorry, can we talk later?” You had to admit, this was the shittiest idea that ever popped into your mind. What is he going to think about you now? You found Charlie in the kitchen, and you talked with her. “Your friend Stolas? Oh no I’m so sorry for him!” She said and nodded understanding. You told her that you really wanted to help him, and that you asked her to give you two days off. She agreed, you knew she would. Bless her soul. After a while you told the others that you would be gone, still feeling a bit guilty for reject your new task, but Charlie told you it was okay. The sinners need their time anyway. Alastor was always at your side, next to you at the dinner table and even as you packed some things into an old backpack that looked similar to the one you had when you were alive. “Are you sure this will do their need?” He asked, standing in the door and tapping your backpack with the tip of his cane. “I just stay for two days, this is more than I need.” You said, glad that he didn’t insist on his question. Well, you couldn’t just tell him that he was the problem why you knew this kind of pain don’t you? “You are probably right dearest…” You smiled softly at his words. He always calls you differently than the others. I’ts always dearest instead of dear. It’s sweetheart and not darling. You felt special. A little too special maybe. The sting in your heart grew bigger with each second you thought about it and with each step you took with him outside to the lobby to in front of the hotel doors. “Well...I think I’m going now-” “I have to interrupt you sweetheart.” He said, holding up his index finger. “Why?” You asked. “I would be a total fool for letting you go this way all alone.”

Your heart began to race. “O-oh, oh you don’t have to come with me Al. I know you’re busy and- and well I know the way…” Alastor shook his head. “I couldn’t bear the guilt for letting you go alone only to find you tortured by some kind of filthy sinners or Overlords…” “I can protect myself Al.” “Oh I never doubt this. But what gentleman would I be, when I don’t walk my dearest girl to her friend?” His smile grew a bit softer and thinner until he gave you a mouth-closed smile. His eyes were filled with something you could spot as admiration, but you quickly shook this thought off. It was your imagination running wild again, nothing else. “Alright then.” He was happy about your accepting, you could see it in the way his eyes widened. You’ve spent enough time to admire him for afar, studying his features like a little girl with her first crush. It also felt like he is the only true love you ever experienced. Too bad it was all in your head and nothing real. You enjoyed the walk with him, even though you tried constantly your hardest to keep your heart in a steady beat and prayed he didn’t noticed the racing of your veins against his arm as he offered it to you for you to cling in. He was warm against you, even through his coat. He was taller than you which was nothing new, he was taller than the most of the sinners. His smile was easy, his eyes relaxed an a bit lidded like the explanation of bedroom eyes, which made him look ironically more attractive. If he would stand in your room like this, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself… You turned your gaze away from him in embarrassment. “Tell me sweetheart, you didn’t answered my question earlier…” You heart skipped a beat as you tried your hardest to look at a building with a bright neon font spelling: “Step on Me.” “Oh yes well…” You turned your head in his direction. You had to come up with a solution, and it have to be a damn good one so he wouldn’t get suspicious. “Why do you want to know this so bad?” You awkwardly asked, as he just blinked. “Hmm...I really want to know who I have to kill for making you feel this way…” He entangled his fingers to sharp claws. You love his hands. The sharp nails always managed to run shivers down your spine whenever he touches you. You would have laughed at his words, because he would have to kill himself to actually hold his word. “No. No you better not…” You said laughing. “No come on, you can trust me dearest. I’m almost offended that you won’t tell me.” “I just could have guessed how it feels like don’t I?” “Nonsense, I saw the look on your face. After all you are not hard to read sweetest. Even though I adore this in you, this could also be your dead end. In this world…” He suddenly came incredible close to you as he stopped you in your walking. “I wouldn’t want you to feel those things sweetest. So, could you tell me? Please?”

His gaze and the fact that he actually said ‘please’ to you, only you made your heart stutter and your breath irregular. “Hmm...maybe I’ll tell you when I’m back. What about that?” You tried to be teasing, and he titled his head with a grin but also slightly annoyance. “Promise me~?” He sung and the desire to grab his face in your hands was almost unbearable. “Yes...promised.” You two continued standing in the middle of the streets, in the Lust Ring, and staring at each other. You two were the odd picture in the middle of filthy, dirty minded heads who are more interested in fucking another than to actually love another. You stared at him with so much love in your eyes that it made his heart sting. You were so pure. He could never understand the desire to touch anybody's body in certain ways, not in his live or in this afterlife as well. And it changed completely when he’s looking at you right now. Suddenly he felt the urge to wrap his arms around you, to smell your scent which were always around him whenever you were near, to trade kisses along your neck. Nothing like the things those filthy, perverted creatures in this ring might crave, but a loving gesture what this act is all about. He truly loved you. And it hit him deeper than the bullet with he was shot. His heart began to race and suddenly he was very aware of the close distance between you both so he stepped back a bit. “Well then...I look forward to hear the answer from you when I lead you back.” He said now in a raspy voice. The static almost completely gone, you shuddered. “Oh you don’t have to do this Al. I know you don’t like this place and the other neither…” He waved it off, his claws only inches away from your shoulder as he grabbed you gently on your upper back. “That is alright. I don’t have to stay here, I just travel right through it. Don’t break your pretty little head about it.” You gave him a crooked smile as you two walked further. By the time you got more relaxed, slowly becoming the person you really are. His heart fluttered in excitement. Your wings spread towards the sky as you told him a story how you met Stolas the first time. The blue neon lights hits you on the right spots, your face was so bright in this moment and your wings had a silver shimmer in it. The black of your heart shaped antlers reminded him of black gold, and your eyes...the animalistic it brought with it, and your real eye color was breathtaking. You looked like a goddess. Finally there, you thanked him again for walking with you. “I see you in two days. But don’t think I’ll ignore your broadcasts because I’ll still listen to them.” You laughed and he smiled, and his smile reached his eyes completely. “Oh I do hope so sweetheart!” He placed his hands on the top of his cane. “I wish you luck for making your friend feel better…” At the mention of Stolas his eyes got the mix of darkness. Was he jealous? “Yes me too…” You smiled at him. “Well then-” “Can I ask you one more thing before you go?” You stopped him, why did you stopped him? It was the question which itched you more than anything right now. “Yes dearest?”

You hesitated. “Why do you call me differently than the others? Not that I don’t like it, it’s just…” You stopped. Messing with your heart. “Unusual.” He had to thought for a moment because he stood still and avoided your gaze. Instead he looked at the sky. “Well… you are different from the others. So I might like to call you different names.” He looked back at you again, and you almost jumped at the sight of him. His red eyes a warm cherry red, and his pupils dilated. “Those phrases were nothing rare from the decade I came from…” He walked to you a few steps until he stood right before you. “Sweetheart was used for someone you found dearly…” He took your chin in his hands. “Dearest was for someone you laid an eye on for a long time…” He pulled your face closer to his, and took his time to scan your features. “And sugar…” He looked at your lips for a brief second before locking eyes with you again. “Was for someone you were in love with. The young boys would call them baby but I find sugar is much more fitting for you.” You forget how to breath until you could feel your head heated up so you just smiled shyly. “O-okay...that’s interesting to hear. You know how much I love your timeline…” You said. It was the truth you like the time he was from. But the sudden touch was more than enough to make you completely flustered already. He chuckled. “Yes I know…” He titled his head and swung on his heels. “Well then, I’ll see you in two days. Remember, when anything goes wrong and the king will not be able to protect you from it, just call my name and I will be here. I will hear it.” He said, looking over his shoulder. “Yes...yes sure. Goodbye.” “Goodbye. Sugar.” Your smile was replaced with shock as he was swallowed up by his demons in an instant. As you walked in to Stolas palace you immediately got hugged from your owl friend. “Oh (Y/N) I’m so happy you are here right now!” You rubbed his back. “I know, I just wish I would see you in a less depressive way.” The demon sighed, and wiped his smudged mascara from his cheeks. “I’m so sorry you have to see me in this state. But- I don’t have someone else-” “No, no it’s fine I want to help you you are my friend Stolas…” You said and grabbed his arm. “We can get through this. I’m here now.” He looked at you sadly before leading you into his main room where you placed him on the sofa. “Okay now: talk. I want you to express everything you feel.”

He looked down at his hands. “Blitzo he…” He stopped. “He doesn’t see it. He cannot see the way I feel for him. He was here yesterday.” “He was here? You told him that you-” “Yes…” He nodded. He started to tell you the story what happened, and you tried your best to comfort him. The nights changed into the daytime because it was the only time you could make him a bit happier even just for a little while. “I know how you feel. I got a similar issue…” You told him once you two sat on the carpet and ate ice cream. “I know. You are in love with the worst demon in hell?” He asked. After yesterday he now seemed more stabilized than before. “He’s not always like that. He walked all the way with me here.” Stolas gaze weighted heavy on you. “And...something happened?” You looked at him for a brief moment only to look away. “Yes. Almost. But this is not important right now. I’m here to make you feel better not you taking care of me when nothing actually happened.” You shrugged it off just to pick inside your ice cream, the thoughts far far away. “No tell me about it. It’s far better than to think about my current situation to no end.” You sighed. “Fine. He asked me why I know the feeling of unrequired love so good.” You started and placed the cup next to you. “Oh...and you told him…” “No! No I just dodged out the question the whole time. Now he waits for the answer when he pick me up after tomorrow.” You stared at the ceiling of his. His beautiful star sky felt like the one left on earth, and you smiled sadly. “You know, I never thought that I could love someone like that. It never was like this in my lifetime.. Now that I’ve got him it all feels so surreal. It was the feeling I’ve always wanted, yet when I have it it’s the worst.” You scoffed. “Guess it’s only a good feeling when both are in the same boat.” You looked at Stolas who looked suddenly more sad than ever. You had an idea. “You know what? I’ll go talk to him.” The expression on his face was almost like if you had told him you burned his daughter alive. “What?! No! No you can’t just go talk to him H-he will get mad at you oh he will hate-” “If he’s hating me then I’m fine with that.” You said, a serious tone in your voice. “I’ll go and talk to him. He’s already pissed off so when it’s me he let’s off steam then it’s better as if it was you.” You took his hand in yours. “Don’t hate me but you’re not in the right state for talking with him in the next while. You would let your emotions lead you and I’m neutral about it. I can put the facts on the table, without he hurting

you more.” “I can’t order this from you…” “Yes you can and even if you forbid it to me, I would do it anyway.” You said smiling. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow if that’s better for you. You know to emotionally prepare yourself?” He let out a tired laugh. “Yes this would be nice.” “Good. Alright then. Let’s eat this here up before it gets even more liquid.” You said, grabbing your ice cream cup. When your love story don’t have a happy ending, you might just form one for them.

Alastor was back at the hotel, but he wasn’t really at peace. It was hidden in the little ways that his assumption was indeed right. It was the way how he sat uncomfortable at his seat while dinner, how everyone's chatting made him nervous, or how he couldn’t find a spot to just sit and wait. Those two days were the worst for him and he couldn’t believed that you were the reason for it. “What is wrong with me…” He said to himself after he ended his broadcast. This time it was shorter and felt more like a desperate way of dealing with this feeling until it passes. At the second on time as the next day rises, he stood up a lightness in his steps. He knew he was far too early, but he had an idea. He told Charlie that he’s going to visit Rosie and pick you up after that. She agreed, of course what else so he went straight to her. After all he needed someone who might be able to tell him what’s exactly wrong with him. “Oh Alastor that this would ever happen!” She cheered and her smile wider than anything else. He just rolled his eyes. “Care to tell me Rosie?” She chuckled. “Oh come on I think you know exactly what all of this means, you are just too scared of it actually happening!” He couldn’t ignore the stitch coming with her words, but she was right. He would deny it until the last moment, but this little other thing inside him told him to have hope. Maybe you would accept his courting? “Go and tell her when you pick her up. So many people regret it their whole life for not telling the one their love for them. Or they are too afraid. But you two got the eternity gifted. What could you have possible to lose? It can’t be worse than a no.” “I see that you are clearly not understanding the issue it comes with loving another person…” He said, the grip on his cane firmed. “Yes I do. You never felt this way about someone so you are afraid. But don’t be. Try it. And you’ll see it will work out for both of you.” She laughed. “There must be a reason why the universe waited until your death to let you meet each other.” Yes there must be something. He went straight from Rosie’s to the long road to you. He could have used his shadows to teleport,

but he chose the long way to rethink everything he ever done. It would cost him everything he worked for. Someone could come and rip you apart from him. What if he’s not able to protect you from that? Maybe you could keep it as a secret so no one will know? You would understand that, you always understand everything. But what if you say no? Could he bear the thought of his only and first love saying no to him? He could force you, he had the power. But oh he would never do it. Never to you. He didn’t realized his hands were shaking, of angst. For the first time someone messed with his feelings in such a strange odd way he believed it was only a dream. All in a sudden he was right there and the long way didn’t seemed so long after all. His heart was racing he had to choose now. He wanted you to be with him. He wanted to learn to love, he wanted to try. Oh how he hoped you would try to love him too. All his flaws and his imperfections. To love the monster he was. He searched for you in every corner outside of the palace but couldn’t find you. He didn’t even came close to the door because of the security. Cold terror flooded through his veins. “Find her.” He orders, bringing up his shadow who looked much more terrified than he might look now. It resembles his true emotions after all. The shadow disappeared and Alastor after it. He found you about three blocks away in an old dirty building, your voice banging loudly from the windows. Faster than ever, he teleport himself right on the spot between you and a now utterly confused red hellborn with two large black and white striped horns now were standing. “What the fuck are you doing here, aren’t you her goddamn cru-” “Shut the fuck up Blitzo!” He looked over at you and raised his eyebrows. You looked feral, your features more hellish than before, a clear showing of how angry you must be. Your horns grew fourth the size, your eyes a dangerous light and your wings spread larger and sharper than before. “Whatever. You can go now and stop pissing me off!” Blitzo said and turned around only for you to raise your hand, your sharp claws longer and your power to pull him out of thin air back to you. You were powerful he knows that. And you looked so sinful attractive right now he had to admit. “I’m not finished with you. Can’t you see that Stolas loves you? And you love him too I know it! How can you let him down when it’s the thing you want so bad!” “You know nothing about me!” “Yes I do Blitzo! You are my friend, you brought me here when I first came to hell and I see how you care! Care about everyone in this damn business of yours and Stolas included! You might think you are not worth it or some kind of shit but you do! You do deserve it! Don’t stop the love when it’s giving to you! Do you know how he is feeling? How hard it is to love someone only to know it’s one sided?!” You almost screamed while Alastor stood there and watched you, unsure what to do. “Just because your fucking deer demon don’t love you, it doesn’t mean that I have to accept Stolas!” You froze and you could see the shock running into Blitzo’s jumped expression. He didn’t said that on purpose. But Alastor heard you. Shit.

“Oh fuck, (Y/N) I’m sorry I-” “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to him.” You only said. There was nothing you could do to undo this. You would have to come up with something but not now. Your features changed back to normal as you let out a shaky breath. “I know you well Blitzo. And you know I love you two idiots so please do me a favor and just fucking talk with each other…” You glared at him one last time before turning around and avoided Alastor’s gaze on you. “We can go now. Come.” You said quietly and walked right up to the window because you don’t really had the nerves to run down the entire building. You jumped and flew right to the ground, while Alastor was still standing on his place, looking at Blitzo. “Well I think you are really bad at this. I would be careful in your position…” He said, Blitzo only clenched his teeths. “Fuck off. I really don’t know what she sees in you but I hope you are just half less an asshole with her!” He said and brushed of, slammed the door behind him. A slightly sprinkle of hope flooded him. Was it really right what he heard from the hellborn? He manifested himself on the spot next to the building, only for finding you curled up on the curb, your face in your hands. “Oh sweetheart…” He placed himself next to you, much more closer than he would ever accept it. You wondered that he even sat on the ground with you, but you had other problems right now. You were angry with Blitzo, but this would not have made you this insecure, it was because he couldn’t hold his damn mouth. Alastor didn’t seemed to bother your silent confession to him, but you know you couldn’t just let it hang it in the air forever. “It’s alright. I...I’m just angry at him. But that’s okay. He will talk with him.” The demon looked at you raising an eyebrow. “Well he didn’t seemed like doing so.” You smiled slightly. “Yeah because you don’t know him.” You looked up again. “He took me under his roof before I came to the hotel. I stayed long enough to know that he will talk with Stolas. And to know that he loves him too.” You avoided his intense gaze again. “Well…” You started and got up. “I think I owe you an answer too. Even though you know it thanks to Blitzo…” You hands were sweating, the air got so hot in an instant. He slowly stood up as well, but not taking up space. The opposite, he even moved closer to you. As he tried to say something you quickly cut him off, not wanting to hear the things you fear the most yet. “Please let me talk first okay?” You asked, and breathed in and out. “The reason why I know this feeling of unrequited love so good is because...I’m...uhm I’m in love with- with you. Since a long time. Since the day I came to the hotel when I’m honest. Well it felt

like that for sure.” You started and couldn’t look at him, fixating a spot on his bow tie. “I was so afraid of you finding out and confronting me because you don’t feel those things and now it’s all out. I can’t believe it really. But I didn’t wanted to ruin the bond we build so I just hoped it would go away someday. A-and it will be for sure I just-” You cut yourself off. “You must be hating me right now. I can’t blame you for making fun of me, It’s really dumb from me to believe that someone like you could love someone like me even when it’s not even your fault you can’t feel those things…” You could see his feet moving closer to you so you looked up carefully as he suddenly grabbed your face in his hands and pulled you into a kiss. Your whole body was shaking and stiffened for shock as you shyly grabbed his wrists. His warm lips on yours felt like a piece of heaven and the strands of hair in his so perfectly placed hairstyle tickled you on the cheek. You could hear your heart slamming against your rib cage and you could hear the way he sighed as he pulled away for air. You stared at him, the raw shock in your eyes and lips parted. Oh there you are again, his goddess actually feeling the same way about him as he felt about you. “You are speaking so much nonsense sugar.” He said, his head lowered up to yours, gently grabbing your left hand and guiding it to his chest on the spot where his heart beats. His other hand wrapped around your side keeping you close to him as if you could disappear into thin air if he would not pay attention. “But- but why? You can’t love me, nobody’s ever done that before!” You tried to say but he only softened his smile and raised his finger. “You are a bit like your friend my sweetest. You can’t believe that someone really loves you. But darling I can tell you you drove me insane this whole two days as you were gone, and all the other days since I first met you.” He said, slowly placing his hands on your lower back. You continued to lay yours flat on his chest which were rising up in down in a breathless way, he was breathless. The static in his voice completely gone, what made him even more attractive than he already was. “I must admit to you and only you that I was scared...for once in my entire life.” He said, his eyes gazed over your face and stopped at your lips. “I was scared to have something to lose. But a good friend told me that we have eternity. And...I’m not used to this. But I want to try it. I want to try loving you the right way. When you can bring it over you to love a monster like me.” You were feeling sad for him. Did he really think that you thought about him so low? “You are not a monster.” You began, slowly reaching for his cheek. “Not for me.” You smiled. “We can try this together. We will start slow and take baby steps. Because I want this too.” You leaned your forehead against his. “More than anything.” “Good. Because I’m pretty sure I love you too, more than anything ever in my life next to my mother. Sugar” You smiled. “That’s sweet. And also the nickname.”

He looked at you smiling wider. “It is fitting for you.” He brushed off a strand of hair out of your face as he gazed at you with half lidded eyes. You two came closer until you stopped him gently with your hand on his chest. “You’ll tell me when you’re feeling uncomfortable with anything alright? Let this be our first rule.” “Oh so organized.” He teased and brushed your nose with his. He couldn’t hide the fact that his heart lit up from your words. “I agree. But the same is for you dearest.” You smiled. “Alright.” “May I kiss you now darling? Because the imagination I had of this couldn’t even reach the reality…” You chuckled but couldn’t hide the reddish color of your whole face from him. He chuckled too. He found it amusing how easy you were to fluster. “What’s the matter darling?” You pouted. “Nothing. It’s your choice of words.” You teased. “Oh you mean the fact that I think sinful thoughts about you? Or is it the way I’m calling you?~” You rolled your eyes and pushed him away playfully with your hand. He laughed, a laugh so truly and from the bottom of his heart that it made you melt. He took your hand from his chest and kissed it. Surprised you looked back and gave him a crooked smile. “Maybe it’s also the way you’re acting.” He pulled you close to him again. “Oh sugar you wrapped me around your finger. I’ll be damned…” You leaned your head against his, while stroking through his hair. “You already are. We are both.” A quick kiss from you on his lips made him press his lips against you again in an instant. You smiled as you could hear him sighting and as he got braver to explore your mouth. You let him take the control, wanting him to take the next step when he’s ready. This must be a dream. You thanked Blitzo to the universe that he couldn’t shut his stupid mouth. You hoped they will find their happy ending too, soon.

~~~~~~~~~

The full moon episode killed me so I had to add this trauma somehow :') I hope you like it you all!

[hushfluffles]

There are 4 brandon rogers references in helluva boss but you guys mightve only noticed 3. (Imma run through all of them in order or appearance)

number 1 (episode: cherubs season 1 ep 4)

What seems to be blitzos first human disguise, blah blah the clown, character of the brandon rogers cinematic universe

number 2 (episode: seeing stars season 2 ep 2)

brennon ragers. Version of brandon mad eby vivzie who seems to resemble blitzo and brandon. I guess she really does realize theyre alike

number 3 (episode: apology tour season 2 ep 9)

grandpa. He was just there.

number 4 (episode: apology tour season 2 ep 9)

i do not know if this counts, i really dont.

blitzos cake heart given to blitzo. =

brandon rogers' heart given to brandon rogers =

bryces heart given to bobby

Very iconic scene from blame the hero (radioactive love story) and bryce (episode 1). Of course, in brcu, bryce was asking bobby to be her bf and in hb, blitzo was letting stolas go. But still, comment what you think about this one, sorry

[warblogs17282]

Look, I like reading Stolago fanfics and all that, but I'd be lying if I said that Stolago shippers don't come out with some of the worst takes I've ever seen in regards to Stolitz, so allow me to weigh in my opinion on this.

Short Answer: Stolago would not work in canon.

Long Answer:

Point 1: The 'is Stolago an incest ship' debate.

We don't know. It's implied that Paimon has given birth to a lot of children and can change animal forms, making it very possible that Stolago is an incest ship, but at the same time, that doesn't automatically mean that Vassago is biologically related to Stolas, so I can't make a judgement on this point until we know more about Vassago's character.

Point 2: But Stolas went with the BTB guy!

Pay close attention to Stolas and Blitz after the BTB guy asks Stolas to dance with him, notice how Stolas was basically silently asking Blitz for permission to dance with the BTB guy, and Blitz also silently gives permission for Stolas to dance with the BTB guy. So it's not like Stolas just went 'oh cool this guy wants me, fuck you Blitz I'm fucking dancing', and that silent act of asking for permission proves my point.

Also, Stolas was very drunk during this section, and we know people who are drunk don't tend to think very clearly, so I really cannot blame Stolas for having that dance with the BTB guy, especially when we factor in the cocktail of everything being emotionally heavy for Stolas, and Stolas generally feeling alone and isolated during most of the party.

Plus, Stolas has no history with the BTB guy at all, so even if it does turn into a one night stand for Stolas, there's not gonna be much emotional connection between them. One of the main reasons Stolas fell for Blitz like he did is because of their shared history, all those years ago at the circus.

What was the point of me mentioning all of this exactly? The point is that Stolas and Vassago also have no shared history with each other to what we know, plus, Stolas quite literally says in s2 e1 "my first ever friend!". Plus, it expresses my dislike of the 'Vassago could be a rebound for Stolas' that I've seen float around a few times.

Point 3: Stolas has moved on/will move on from Blitz.

Ah yes, this Stolas?

The same Stolas that silently asked Blitz for permission to go dance with the BTB guy?

"would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

Notice the phrase of "right now" that's used twice?

Stolas at no point said he never wanted to talk to Blitz again, only that he wasn't comfortable with doing so right now, because the emotions associated with that night are still very heavy and hard to process for Stolas.

This fact is further backed up by the fact that Stolas never blocked Blitz's phone number.

one more, this Stolas? for the car trip home.

Point 4: "Blitz is just an asshole who feels no remorse for the things he's done to others."

I could dive deep into Blitz's character to disprove this point, but I'll let the examples do the talking for me.

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo: ...Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but... you said that because I needed it... And it helped.

Blitzo: Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for... me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just... keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy... you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, aaaand don't expect any more compliments; I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you, sir.

Blitzo: You know my name... Use it.

Moxxie: Thanks, Blitzo.

This Blitz?

This Blitz?

This Blitz?

THIS BLITZ??????

There's plenty of other examples I could put here, but I'll leave it here.

Point 5: "Blitz will just move on eventually."

Do you all seriously think that Blitz saying "your boring as fuck monogamy" wasn't foreshadowing Stolitz happening?

The Blitz that's angry that the BTB guy is 'stealing' Stolas?

The Blitz that admits the only person he actually wanted to sorry to was Stolas?

The Blitz that lets Stolas dance with the BTB guy without causing much of a scene, despite how much it hurt him to do so?

Plus, not to mention all the times in the past where it's been shown that Blitz cares for Stolas, including his wellbeing.

Point 6: "Stolitz has no chemistry"

I'm not even gonna bother covering this point, you clearly haven't been paying any attention to the show at all if you unironically think that Stolitz has no chemistry.

Point 7: "What about a love triangle?"

lost-romantique has already made two great posts on the matter, go check that post out.

Finally, I'd like to briefly talk about how Stolago being canon would undermine the plot of helluva boss by quite a bit.

Stolitz is one of the key relationships in the show, and the show revolves around Blitz, including his relationships, so naturally Stolitz is one of the key things for Blitz's character growth, so ending Stolitz for Stolago permanently would stunt Blitz's character growth quite significantly, undermining the plot of the show as a result.

Not to mention it'd also undermine Stolas' character growth as well, considering one of the main things that Stolas needs to work on is the classism, and rebounding to another prince won't help with Stolas unlearning his biases and such, overall making Stolago a rather bad idea for the plot as well.

Plus, even if Stolago was to become canon, it most likely isn't lasting more than an episode anyways, because this scene in the trailer could imply to us that Stolitz is getting a new beginning.

Another thing is that we know nothing about Vassago at the moment, and the things we can imply about him in regards to his title of prince points more to Vassago being a support figure/friend for Stolas (something Stolas badly needs atm) rather than a rebound for Stolas.

I will repeat, I enjoy Stolago in fanfiction and such, but can you all at least admit it's a bad idea in canon and to stop hating on Blitz so much and accept both Stolas and Blitz for the fact that they're both lovable and flawed characters please?

[chaifootsteps]

Do you mind giving a recap for those of us who dropped the show ages ago?

Episode begins with Millie happily coming in to work.

Blitzo is spiraling hard over the fact that his rapist wrote him off, blowing all the company's money/M&M's pensions on taxidermy owls (that he makes Loona burn) and horse plates while gorging on cheese whiz and TV in his office. This has been going on for a month.

Millie hasn't been paid in a month. Moxxie's melting down trying to make the numbers add up.

Client who was killed by a ghost comes in, Millie says humans only go to one of two places when they die and ghosts don't exist. Blitz is super jazzed for it though, so Blitz and Millie take the job.

Blitz dresses and larps as the sexy ghosthunter from the show he likes. About a million unfunny sex jokes ensue.

Blitzo uses a vibrator as a ghost tracking device. I wish I was kidding.

Rolando, the guy from the leaks, works at the hotel. He's voiced by John Waters.

Blitz runs around the hotel in ghosthunter drag with a "ghost sucker" machine, disturbs a naked elderly couple who swear at him, a poorly done Scooby Doo chase scene ensues.

I can't stress enough how unfunny the first half of this episode is.

Millie just kind of takes all of this because "he needs this", eventually snaps and she and Blitz split up.

John Waters attacks Blitz with black goo and visions of people from his life telling him he sucks, including his mother.

Blah blah blah nothing happens, Millie finds Blitz curled up sobbing and a flashback ensues.

Millie used to be a total fucking badass assassin from Wrath until Blitz walked in, grappled with her, and in a scene that feels vaguely ripped off from Firefly, hires her. This is how she met Moxxie.

The fact that Blitz worked for himself is unprecedented, shame how little it's come up over the course of the show.

We see Blitz moving them all into their current headquarters, Millie says they don't deserve it, Blitz tells her to knock it off because he's poured blood, sweat, and sex into this and yes they do.

Millie's got some hangups over only being the hired muscle but fortunately doesn't try to hang herself on screen over it like in the leaks.

Millie relies on Blitz, looks up to him, was surprised to see him brought so low by the fact that the guy who coerced him into a sexual deal while listening to him be shot at doesn't want to date him anymore.

No, they don't address that last part. Of course not.

They realize their guy is a "fester demon."

Something something whatever.

Ronald McDonald possesses Blitz, makes him watch more footage of himself "ruining peoples' lives" ala A Clockwork Orange. This mostly consists of Stolas having his feelings hurt by being rightfully called out for his sexual abuse of Blitz.

I guess Cash was the one to tell Blitz Fizz didn't want to see him in the hospital but it's a blink and you miss it scene.

Millie pounds the shit out of Rolaids because she knows Blitz can take it, Blitz horks him up into the pool, then electrocutes him.

They get out of there because "hotels suck." It's not funny.

Millie calls Blitz her best friend. No indication of this has ever appeared in the show before.

Blitz has never had a friend he didn't want to fuck before. The show's words, not mine.

Blitz is done trying to muscle in on M&M's relationship.

Blitz is still sad over his rapist.

Moxxie thought he balanced their books but didn't.

The end.

Viv is still transphobic.

[a-hazbin-spider]

“Goodness, would I ever use someone?~ Sounds a lil underhanded, das perfect!”

Angel flashes a grin his way, eyes brightening a little just seeing him again. And, his little klepto heart enjoys the topic too. “I’m sure I usually counted as a distraction, but I had pretty good sticky fingers, das for sure!”

“The easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch. You take his attention and direct it where you want it to go.” Or/ “Oh it’s far worse than that. If I fail? I don’t get paid.”

@a-hazbin-spider (friend! I hope you’re doing well! And that you stay hydrated, that too )

"Oh, that works! You can also use someone to distract them while you steal shit!"

Blitz snorted, having done both of those things in the past.

[hazbinshusk]

Coukd you do Kiss number 19 with Blitzo please? That generally seemed like an interesting one!

prompt #19: a kiss underwater

There are plenty of sights you see on a mission, so often that you tend to take them in stride. Violence, gore, Blitzø thrusting his crotch mockingly towards whoever the target is. What you weren’t expecting was a booby-trapped fortress of doomsday preppers making your job way harder than it needed to be.

Jumping over one of the countless trip wires, you toss a bola towards the fleeing prepper with precision that would’ve made Moxxie proud if he hadn’t been too busy trying to find the actual target. The bola wound itself around their ankles and sent them crashing to the floor with a yelp. There was a crunching sound and a groan – but you were sure they’d agree a broken nose was better than a bullet to the brain. Blitzø didn’t really sweat the collateral damage, but the client had insisted that you only take out the one actually responsible for their death.

Skipping down to the end of the hall, you jump over their body and your tail catches hold of a door handle. You use the grip to swing yourself around in a wide arc and you continue down the corridor without breaking stride. You can hear the others further ahead, and you skid to a holt as you find yourself face to face with an indoor water reservoir. Moxxie and Millie have the target cornered…

Well, they have them in the room.

The prepper is wielding on hell of a gun, and you barely manage to dive behind the same load-bearing pillar Millie has ducked behind. She grabs hold of your arm and pulls you into her side, casting a glance around the corner towards the target.

“He ain’t firin’ ‘cause these are load-barin’ pillars.” she explains breathlessly. “But he’s got a lotta friends here we haven’t taken out yet.”

“Right,” you frown, watching Moxxie try and fail to line up a shot. The prepper fires a warning shot – giving Moxxie and the pillar a wide enough berth to avoid actually taking it down. Still, it blasts through the wall behind the three of you, rocking the room in a way that makes your stomach twist. “And Blitz is…?”

There’s a crash and a familiar shout of “Fuuuuck!” and you turn just in time to watch the air vents above the prepper collapse in twisted metal and dust, a flash of red skin and black leather falling down on top of them.

You and Millie burst into laughter as Blitzø rides the prepper’s shoulders like they’re a mechanical bull, his claws digging into the flesh of their face before he digs his gun out of his holster and cracks them over the head with the butt of it.

The prepper collapses like a puppet with its strings cut, and you barely manage to catch Blitzø’s victorious grin in the second before the two of them land in the reservoir with a splash.

You’re still laughing as the three of you emerge from behind the pillars, and you fold your arms across your chest as Moxxie wraps an arm around Millie’s waist and presses a kiss to her temple. Your laughter tapers off slowly, your brow furrowing as you watch the water still.

“Does, uh… does Blitz know how to swim?”

M&M sober too, and Moxxie takes an uncertain step forward, eying the water’s surface. “I mean, surely…”

You sigh heavily, quickly toeing off your shoes and shrugging out of your jacket. “Satan… damn it.”

Inhaling deeply, you sprint to the edge of the reservoir and dive, the shock of the icy water almost knocking the air right back out of you. The dive takes you deep, and you find yourself thanking whoever’s listening for the fact that you’d taken your Envy Ring ex up on their offer to teach you to swim. The glow of your eyes breaks through the ink-black around you and you manage to catch the subtle glint of the gun still clutched in your boss’ hand below you.

Kicking yourself down towards him, your hand catches hold of the lapel of his coat, fingers burning with the cold of the water. Blitzø’s eyes open as he feels your touch, his gaze blurred and unfocused as the last of his air leaves his lungs in a stream of bubbles. His hands clutch at your arms in panic, and you haul him up towards you, and press your lips to his.

Blitzø’s eyes widen in surprise and you part your lips, breathing air into his mouth. His hands relax slightly and you kick hard, pulling him up with you, wrapping your tail around his waist. Your lungs are burning painfully as you near the surface, your jaw gritted and your muscles straining as they drag up your water-logged bodies. The two of you break the surface with twin gasps, and you feel hands grab hold of you and tug you towards the reservoir’s edge.

Blitzø doesn’t release you even as Millie and Moxxie hold the two of you up; he presses his face into the curve of your neck, his breathing laboured. He chokes out a laugh, and you punch his shoulder.

“Ow! The fuck was that for?!”

“Asshole!” you snarl breathlessly. “What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“Me?” Blitzø gasps, breaking off into a coughing fit. He spits up water, gasping. “You’re the one who kissed me!”

Moxxie and Millie interject in unison. “You what?”

“I gave you air!” you argue defensively. “I saved your life, idiot!”

“Yeah, you did!” Blitzø grins widely, and he leans in to smack a kiss obnoxiously against your cheek. “Someone’s anglin’ for Employee of the Month!”

“Ugh!” you push him away with a scoff, holding back a smile as Moxxie helps you out of the water. Blitzø manages to swat your ass as you do, and you immediately unwind your tail from his waist so he collapses back into the water with a yelp. It’s only Millie’s hand on his arm that stops him from going under again, and he scowls up at you petulantly from under dripping brows. You blow him a kiss mockingly, bending down to scoop up your jacket and fishing your phone out of the pocket. “Now can we go home, please?”

send me a prompt and either husk or blitzø