#bg3 incorrect quote

[astariontopofme]

Tav: *sits down next to Astarion, resting their head on his shoulder*

Astarion: *frowning with attitude* Do I look like a teddy bear to you?

Tav: *rolls eyes* Fine, I’ll go cuddle with Halsin. *goes to get up*

Astarion: *pulling them back down* Like hells. *pushes their head back on his shoulder*

.

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Tav: I will spare this Goblin!

*one second later*

Tav: I regret not killing this Goblin!

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2605

Don't forget to feed your wizard. (Dialogue is just made up, lol.)

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Astarion: Little girls who kiss frogs expect them to turn into you.

Wyll: Oh come on. I’m not that good-looking.

Gale: Yeah, you are.

Karlach: You kind of are.

[misquoted-chronicles]

Tav: I want to hear those three little words.

Astarion: I love you.

Tav: That's sweet. Try again.

Astarion: *pouts and crosses arms* Fine. I will behave.

Narrator: Astarion did not behave. Later that day, he went on a goblin killing spree and got in a fight with an old lady.

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Anyone done this yet?

[incorrect-bg3]

Astarion: We need to open this locked door. Shadowheart, give me your credit card.

Shadowheart: Here.

Astarion, pocketing it: Thanks. Gale, break down the door.

[kawareo]

Can't throw daddy's name around to get what you want all the time, Durge, put away the dramatic lighting

Am a big supporter of the 'Durge likes gnolls while Enver doesn't' headcanon

[demigoddessqueens]

Astarion: if a beautiful person disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles

Tav: well maybe you should have principles

Astarion: you’re right maybe I should.

[bg3queen]

[astariontopofme]

Tav: *sitting at camp, sharpening a blade*

Gale: *walking toward them with a white cat* We- uhh…we have a problem.

Tav: *raising an eyebrow* Riiiight…?

Gale: Well, Astarion and I got separated in a fight…and when I looked for him afterwards all I could find was this cat hissing at me. *puts the cat down in front of Tav* I think he might have been turned into a cat…

Tav: *confused* Why would you think that?

Cat: *purrs and nuzzles into Tav’s side before biting their hand*

Tav: AH- fuck! For fu- *cradles hand*…yeah that’s him…

.

[sunflowey]

Astarion: Be a better person!

Tav: Why?

Astarion: Because someone needs to have morals in this relationship, and it sure as fuck ain't gonna be me, sweetheart!!

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2622

Wyll is truly the only sane person in this party. (Dialogue from The Muppets.)

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Tav: I will now torture you.

Astarion: Kinky.

Tav: I think you are sweet and handsome.

Astarion: …Wait.

Tav: You deserve to be cared for as much as you care for others.

Astarion: N-no!

Tav: Your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard.

Astarion: I need a safe word!

[keylana-dragon]

head empty

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Rolan: You know, if you ever get tired of adventuring, you could always come work at Sorcerous Sundries.

Durge: I don't think retail is the right career for me. My rancid blood desires nothing more than to reap death on this world. I am a vile soul, broken beyond repair.

Rolan: Sounds like an average Tuesday around here... We do have an annual employee picnic, though.

Durge: Does that help to soothe the unyielding rage within?

Rolan: *Sad sigh.* No.

- - - -

BG3 Incorrect Quotes Masterlist.