#best thing about these two is that patti is perfect at so many things but just as awkward as doug when it comes to stuff like flirting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hardman5509 · 2 years ago

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Kaguyin's Secret Santa: Tuna For Two

For @kaguyin as part of @touhousecretsanta :

This is perfect! Mike has been waiting and saving for something special all year along and it seems that her efforts are going to pay off. She managed to work her powers in such a way that she got the money and the customers she wanted without losing too many of the other. It sucked most of the time; either getting filthy stinking rich while being left alone or having customers a-plenty and being poor...but she could finally...finally...FINALLY...

Afford a tuna!

Tuna is a rarity in Gensokyo, even more so good tuna. And getting some good tuna or any tuna period is even harder when the richer denizens get their hands on the good stuff. Mike had to not only save up money for the tuna itself but also to secure a place in line AND actually get some real tuna. Mike has heard some nasty rumors regarding some vendors selling fake tuna either to make a quick buck or make up for their lack of product.

But she did it! Mike let out a happy cheer as she raced on out of the vendor's store with her tuna tightly wrapped. There's enough in here to grill two good-sized patties. Hmm! Tuna burgers on Christmas Eve sounds great, but what would be greater...if Rin agreed to share a meal with her!

This has been a long time coming. Mike didn't want to go to the Hakurei Shrine's flower viewing originally, but it was well worth it to meet up with Rin. A fellow cat-youkai, and a real cutie to boot! Creepy cutie at that. Liked to talk about corpses and dead people a lot. Smelt like them as well, guess it goes with the territory. But still! Still! Red-head, perky and she's the kind of gal that Mike would love to be with all the time...

And maybe the promise of dead fish will win her over?

Mike's eyes were locked onto the mini-grill that she bought from that weird junk-seller guy. It's portable but the small size is perfect to grill the tuna. The only thing she should have also bought is a cookbook because she has no real way of telling if the tuna is being cooked all the way through or if the skin is getting burnt off. She is trying to go as perfect as she can make it go but she had a feeling that if she tried to go that way, she will do far worse. Best to go for a good grade!

They should be done soon, and just in time, she needed to warm up the buns. Rin should be getting here soon; she mentioned that she had some errands on the mountain to handle. No mystery as to what errands are and Mike is hoping that the smell of death is long gone by the time Rin arrives...

The smell of frying meat reminded her that she had more important matters to handle at the moment. Rin quickly flipped the patties. Besides, the other side looks to be a little bit undercooked.

“Hello...”

Mike let out a little shriek as she jumped up to the ceiling. A little laugh from the direction of the greeting. “Geez, didn't mean to scare you.” Mike, still clinging to the ceiling, looked down to see...Rin! She's on her own and without her cart too. That means that this dinner will have no problems with bad-smelling corpses now! Heck, Mike could pick up on some sweet scent of saffron swirling from that sexy...uh....is there a synonym for 'cat' that begins with 's'?

Never mind. “Rin!” Mike sighed as she deattached herself from the ceiling, landing on her feet and going over to greet her guest. “You made it!”

“Of course.” Rin did a little courtesy of a bow. “Even if I wasn't invited, I would have smelt that tuna countries away...” She licked her lips as she eyed the mini-grill, thankfully undisturbed from Mike's jump. “A short meal I see.”

“It's the most I could get with what I have.” Mike sighed. Yup, should have saved more money. Maybe next year? “Guess it is more of a snack...?”

“It's fine.” Rin produced a large, gray clay bottle from behind her back. “Brought some beer, might as well make it an American-like barbecue...”

“American?”

“Other world thing, it's really interesting!” Rin gasped as she plopped down on her butt and popped the top of the bottle. “America is a really hellscape for a lot of people, and a lot of death...” She sniffed the contents for a bit before her brain kicked on and she realized her little mistake. “Oh, right. You don't like talking about that...”

“Well, it is your job...” Mike nervously replied, trying to play it cool. “You can talk about it...”

“Nah, your shack, your rules.” Rin shrugged as she produced two shot-glasses from her bag. “Besides, I talk mostly about my job, and it's good if I listen to you for a bit.” She sighed as she poured out two well-measured shots into the glasses. “So, what do you do for a living around here?”

“Selling!” Mike spat out, her nerves overtaking her. “Selling whatever I can get my hands on...”

“Ah, scalping.”

“NO!” Mike spat out, covering her mouth this time. “I mean, I guess? I find random junk and then I attract customers...” Rin put on a coy smile while holding her glass close to her lips, swirling it around. “Not like that, not like that!” Mike crossed her arms as she repeated herself nervously. “I have the power to beckon money or customers...”

“Oh, I get it.” Rin sighed as she sipped gently on her booze. “You're like a magnet, like that mouse girl. You find good stuff and then you sell it off?” Mike nodded her head. “Maybe you and Nazrin should do something together. She can find anything for you.” Mike slowly nodded her head. Why does it sound like Rin is going to try and hook her and that mouse together? “If she ain't busy with her tiger buddy...”

“Oh.”

“Hmm?” Rin asked as she again swirled around her glass. “You were...?” She then giggled. “Nah, I ain't going to hook you with anyone you don't wanna.” She giggled as she downed the rest of her shot. “Just suggesting partnerships, you know. Expand the business?” She shrugged. “Come on, friendly business talk.”

“Yeah, yeah...” Mike gulped as she looked back at the patties, thankfully not burning. So far so good! That should be good for the patties; Mike carefully set them down on a plate and then replaced them with the buns. Just a little bit longer! She gulped, her hand starting to shake uncontrollably. She's going to drop the spatula at this rate.

“Want some help?”

Mike gasped as she could feel Rin huddling around behind her. "You're getting nervous...you cold?" Rin asked as she breathed some hot air on Mike's neck. Mike tensed up as she could feel Rin's hand going on her hand holding the spatula. "Here, let me help you..." Mike gulped down as Rin started to puppet her hand.

This only lasted a bit before Mike regained control of herself, and by that, she leapt up and onto the ceiling again. Rin took a moment to register her surprise before emitting a loud sigh and looking up to seeing the clinging Mike. "Man, you take the phrase 'scaredy-cat' to a new whole level." She clicked her tongue as she carefully picked the buns off the grill and then set up the burgers. "Come on down before they get cold." She told with a wag of her finger.

Mike is a fountain of sweat by this point; not a good thing to have when it's like zero celsius out there at the moment. She knew that Rin could be very candid but didn't realize just how open she is. Taking a nervous gulp (Geez, she's getting thirsty, and doubtful the beer is going to help her with that) she dropped down from the ceiling.

Rin handed her a burger first, before then serving her glass. Mike set the plate down first before taking the glass with bot hands. "Cheers." Rin held up her own glass close, with Mike almost nervously dropping hers. It took Mike a second to recognize what Rin wanted before she gently clinked her glass against Rin's. Rin giggled as she downed her glass down in one gulp.

"Now for the burger..." Rin remarked as she looked at the steaming patty. She snatched it up and chomped down halfway. Mike's heart sank. Even if the patty is delicious, that's half the meal down. That's massively disappointing! And if the patty sucks...

"Delicious!" Rin chirped as she pulled Mike in for a kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas..." She then whispered. "Don't worry too much about it...next year..." The next part she whispered is far too risqué for a story of this caliber to write down and it made the already nervous Mike explode.

Rin isn't hard to please. Dead bodies on the way down or anything that cats likes is enough to make her happy. Mike didn't need to worry too much. Rin did like the change of pace going from big festival gatherings to this little snack and drink with Mike.

...now, Rin would have to wait a bit for Mike to calm down before she could suggest what else they could do with a bottle of booze while they are alone together...but, she can wait to 'unwrap her gift'. Hehehe.

#touhou #touhousecretsanta #rin kaenbyou #mike goutokuji #christmas

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theofficersacademy · 2 years ago

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Ashe Artur Roy Caeda Andrei Eir Elice Python Leif Patty Est Byleth (F) Corrin (F)

TEAM TAG: #KEguard2023 VILLAGE HEALTH: 100% PUBLIC OPINION: BAD [4/100]

The time has finally come for your allies to settle in for sleep. You know that this is hardly different than the trials you’ve faced in this village so far, and yet you can’t help but feel some degree of trepidation as you stand over them. Several of the knights that have come to live in this village have, after all, not awakened from sleep once since your arrival, and the others who call this village home have been watching you with palpable distrust lately. Perhaps you all are meddling in something that you shouldn’t be...

Nevertheless, this mission comes as an order from the church, so you must fulfill it to the best of your ability.

Your companions now sleep in four of the village’s largest buildings, and since you don’t know what they’ll find within the dream, or what will happen to their bodies here in the real world, you must keep a steady watch over them. Alternating shifts and regular patrols are the way to go here, but there are plenty of other things to do around the village while you wait, too. In fact, it might not be such a bad idea to try to win back some of the village’s favor.

What to Expect

Unlike recent lore events, Keras Kai Elephas will be mostly in the hands of the players. There will be a series of tasks in need of completing each week, but the players will determine HOW those tasks are completed. Resources will be granted based on post count, word count, number of muses in a single thread, and/or other mechanics, so the focus will be on generating your own content and developing relationships between your muses. However, we do encourage short, meaningful posts. Direct interaction > internal monologue.

A dedicated notetaker (or notetakers) will need to keep notes on what happens in each thread in your team, as well as track whatever counter a specific task requires. New events will happen each week depending on what your team did the previous week, and some tasks may not have immediate pay-offs. Follow your inspiration, but if you have questions about what is or isn’t allowed, feel free to ping a mod.

Lastly, every weekend until the finale, there will be a condensed, two-day mini game that will allow your team to gather a larger number of materials. This is an efficient way to stockpile resources or achieve certain goals, but in order for your muse to enter, they must have written at least two posts that week assisting another muse with a task.

Task threads do not have to be completed by the following week, but will no longer grant resources for posts unless otherwise specified. All members have permission to nudge their teammates to post if they feel like someone is taking more time than they should.

NPCs of Note

Perth - More or less Rusalka’s village chief, though he and all the others insist that they operate as a true democracy. Middle-aged but still sharp, he’s tolerated you and your group, but you can’t help but feel his eyes on you wherever you go.

Tieve - One of your first introductions to the village when you first arrived, she’s a busybody who has to know everything about everyone. She tried to convince you that there was no better place to live than Rusalka. After all, “wouldn’t you want to live in a perfect world?” You know now that she was referring to the potent dreams here, but oddly you never see her sleep.

Balfor - A young stablehand, he tends to the monstrous birds that the village keeps around for self-defense. Doesn’t talk much and seems a bit off, but you can’t help but feel that he might be the most likely to act on any of his threats.

Village Information

Everyone in the village is a strict vegetarian, as they refuse to harm any living thing. Hunting and fishing are off limits, but who says you can’t do it in secret?

There are crops growing year-round here, both out in the fields and in the many impressive greenhouses scattered around the village. Many of the villagers are hard at work preparing for autumn.

The village itself is built into what appears to be a massive pit, and is covered by a dome. Inside, the weather and temperature remains constant so it’s easy to forget about the summer rains and heat beyond.

The village is entirely self-sufficient. Clothing, furniture, food, and medicine are all produced within its territory.

Dreams are vivid here. This seemed to be just an odd coincidence at first, but even those who don’t dream find themselves dreaming nightly. Some dreams allow one some degree of control, others are simply things to watch. Regardless, the ordinary dreams of the village are vastly different than the dreams you experienced during the gauntlet last month, and try as you might, you can’t enter them at will. Usually, anyway.

Outside of the village, there are the remnants of ruins, caves, and old bunkers, perhaps once occupied. Within one such abandoned bunker is where you found the torn journal page and its notes on entering dreams.

Tasks [Resource Key]

Hunt in the forest outside of the village [Max 3 muses per thread] - Receive small game (1lb) every 1 post - Every 3 posts, you will have the chance for a large game roulette (deer, boar, bear, wolf, giant bird), which will grant additional resources if successfully hunted. WARNING: Muses can be injured during this. - Characters with bow rank > C grant the team greater chance of taking down large game. - Every 1lb of meat subtracts 1 point from public opinion

Forage in the forest outside of the village [Max 4 muses per thread] - Receive 1 basket of random resource (berries, nuts, mushrooms, herbs, flowers) per post - Low public opinion increases chance of unknowingly gathering something poisonous

Help out with chores in the village [Max 2 muses per thread] - Tending fields, mending clothes, drying herbs, etc. - Gains 1 point for public opinion for every 1 post - Chance to gain information every 5 posts

Taming giant birds [Max 2 muses per thread] - Success related to muse’s Flying rank. E = 50% chance of being injured per post. D = 40% chance. C = 30% chance. B = 20% chance. A = 10% chance. S = 0% - Benefit to team: currently unknown

Assist with chopping wood [Max 2 muses per thread] - Gains 1 point for public opinion per post - Gains 1 bundle of timber per post - Axe rank grants multiplier for thread [C or higher = 2x yield]

Wall/Gate Repairs [Max 4 muses per thread] - Gains 1 point for public opinion per post - Trades 1 bundle of timber per post - Restores village health

Patrol your companions’ quarters [Max 4 muses per thread] - If public opinion <= 50%, subtracts 1 point from public opinion per post

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I only thread with my teammates?

Any threads taking place within the village can only be written with your teammates.

These aren’t the only threads I can do, right?

Of course not! These are just prompts to help give some ideas of possibilities. You’re always free and encouraged to make up your own threads, and feel free to ping Mod Ree to propose a task idea for resources.

How do I claim the resources?

In order to qualify for your earnings, the thread must clearly allude to the listed task and feature the task being completed. Your team’s appointed tracker will be keeping tabs on your totals.

Can I only do one task?

Nope, you can do as many as you’d like with as many different partners as you’d like! You can do the same task with more than one person and still contribute toward the resource goal. However, keep in mind that this event will last for the entire month.

What if my partner leaves or drops a resource gathering thread?

If the dropped thread has at least 2 notes (not counting likes, only reblogs with replies in them) and you have hit at least 400 words on your end, you may still claim the resources. This only applies if your partner drops out of the event completely.

#keguard2023 #toakeraselephas2023

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rabbitcruiser · 2 months ago

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National Double Cheeseburger Day

Easily one of the best comments in the history of mankind, a proper lauding of the combination of perfectly seasoned hamburger topped with rich and creamy cheese. And then making it into a double cheeseburger takes it to the extreme.

Of course, if there’s one thing that most people have learned it’s that there’s no such thing as too much of a good thing. That’s why National Double Cheeseburger Day exists. Because some bright individual decided that the only thing better than a cheeseburger would be making it into a double cheeseburger!

For anyone who has ever needed an excuse to enjoy one (and honestly, most people don’t) this is it! Happy National Double Cheeseburger Day!

History of National Double Cheeseburger Day

National Double Cheeseburger Day was made to celebrate the birth of the double cheeseburger, and by extension the cheeseburger itself.

While it may seem the most natural thing in the world to add cheese to a hamburger these days, originally a hamburger was a very simple affair. Simply meat, bread and condiments were pretty much all that a hamburger had going for it.

The first person who is said to have created the cheeseburger was Lionel Sternberger in Pasadena, California. The story goes that Lionel created it while working at his father’s sandwich shop in 1926 when he was only 16 years old. A sizzling piece of hamburger seemed to be just begging for something a little extra, and so a piece of cheese was added to see what came out.

What came out, obviously, was magic. It wasn’t long before someone realized that a single sizzling patty of hamburger topped with melting cheese wasn’t the best thing in life, not when you could have two sizzling patties of hamburger topped with melting cheese!

The birth of the double cheeseburger was as inevitable as the cheeseburger itself, and National Double Cheeseburger Day celebrates it all!

How to Celebrate National Double Cheeseburger Day

Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things, like a double cheeseburger.

Anyone can enjoy celebrating National Double Cheeseburger Day in a variety of ways that will keep their taste buds and their bellies happy! Try out these ideas or come up with some other creative ones:

Eat a Double Cheeseburger

Well, start off that National Double Cheeseburger Day by having a Double Cheeseburger obviously! There’s no reason you can’t enjoy them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Well, aside from a little concern about an expanding waistline, but who has time to worry about things like that?

Making cheeseburgers at home is pretty easy. Or head out to a restaurant that might offer a discount for National Double Cheeseburger Day. Many restaurants have various discounts on the day (or throughout the month) offering deals on this delicious sandwich. In the past, some McDonald’s restaurants (particularly in the US) have been known to offer cheeseburgers for an extra low price in honor of the day.

Share a Double Cheeseburger

What could be better than sharing this fun day with friends, family or coworkers? Even if it isn’t realistic to share an actual cheeseburger with someone (because most people want to keep them to themselves!), it certainly would mean a lot to remind them of the day and get them one of their own. Whether sharing or not, enjoying a double cheeseburger with a loved one is a perfect way to celebrate the day.

Learn Some Fun Facts About Cheeseburgers

Who knew that some people believe the cheeseburger was actually invented in Denver, Colorado in the USA,? Get into the spirit of National Double Cheeseburger Day by learning and sharing these fun pieces of trivia and facts.

One of the largest cheeseburgers ever made weighs in at an almost unbelievable 1800 pounds. It was created by Mallie’s Sports Bar in 2017. To make it, the restaurant had to convert a shipping container into an oven so that there would be room to cook the whole thing. Even today, a burger this size can be ordered off of the menu–for a mere $10,000, with a 3-day order ahead policy.

Several US cities claim to have invented the cheeseburger, including Denver, Colorado; Louisville, Kentucky; and Pasadena, California (as mentioned above).

While a cheeseburger can be made with almost any kind of cheese topping it, according to a survey most Americans actually prefer the most predictable one–American cheese. It melts well and provides a tasty flavor on top of the burger patty.

Jimmy Buffett wrote the song “Cheeseburger in Paradise” about a time when he was stuck on a boat in bad weather and only had canned food, making him dream of the day when he could have a cheeseburger again. Now there’s an entire restaurant chain named after this song!

Get Creative with National Double Cheeseburger Day

For those who have a double cheeseburger on most days, this day might be one to take things a step further into the adventurous path! For the truly daring, it might just be time to try a double cheeseburger topped with bacon, lettuce, tomato, and a dollop of chili. Never heard of a chili-double-cheeseburger? Well, National Double Cheeseburger Day is the ideal chance to try one, and that’s just the first step!

Let the imagination run wild and mix up the cheeses and toppings that go together to create the perfect, personal hamburger masterpiece! National Double Cheeseburger Day is the best time for it–so get started!

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thisislizheather · 9 months ago

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February Feats 2024

Above Photo: NYC, February 2024

Welcome to March! You’re well aware of how much I love this month. Will I overdo it and be left a shell of a person come April 1st? Most likely, but there’s nothing that can be done about that! Here’s what went down last month.

The best tweets of the month can be found over here.

I kept up with my weekly Winter Wednesdays series.

I finally finished the Mel Brooks memoir I’ve been reading for months.

If this coat (below) was under $100, then I would’ve had no choice but to buy it.

Above Photo: Bury me at the Nordstrom flagship

God, I love a small batch cookie recipe.

People won’t shut up about this New York Times marry-me chicken recipe but I absolutely would reject that proposal. I made it and it was FINE at best. And more recently, I made a cauliflower soup of theirs and it was bland as hell! I definitely need to take a step back from their recipes. Maybe the food styling is what’s tricking me? Gorgeous looking food doesn’t always taste amazing. There’s a lesson there??

I made this brioche berry bread pudding that was delicious. Something feels very wrong about using strawberries in February, but the Grand Marnier soak really helped the flavour.

Above Photo: Brioche berry bread pudding

I can’t stop wearing these Aerie brown stockings.

Found a new coffee shop that I’m loving - Sonbobs in Astoria.

We bought Baby Dog a ramp to get on and off our bed and it’s been a huge help. Sometimes she’ll just leap off into the pillows alongside it, so it may take some time for her to trust this new inanimate object in her life.

Above Photo: Baby Dog begrudgingly on her new ramp

I tried out a colour corrector from Huda because the internet told me to and it did absolutely nothing different to my face hahah?? Sometimes I seem smart and other times I do stuff like this.

Nathan and I saw the play An Enemy Of The People with Jeremy Strong (from Succession) and Michael Imperioli (from The Sopranos & The White Lotus) and it was great! Absolutely love the Circle in the Square theatre. $40 tickets straight from the box office can’t be beat.

The winter kale salad at Uva Next Door on the Upper East Side was top tier.

The patty melt at Daily Provisions? Wow. Makes zero sense that a coffee shop has that good a sandwich.

I’ve finally learned my lesson and I’ve stopped using third-party websites for booking travel. Took me decades to learn this lesson.

Also, I’m sure no one but me buys Visa gift cards - but just incase, stay very far away from the brand Vanilla. I’ve had so many issues with money that was loaded improperly and their customer service is nonexistent.

Some things I watched:

Sometimes I Think About Dying: so great! Our friend Dave does such a great job in it.

Two Weeks Notice and The Wedding Date (combining them because they don’t deserve individual billing): WOOF. Why do I do this to myself when I have a list full of actually watchable movies?

If Lucy Fell: an old Sarah Jessica Parker movie? Course I’d watch that. It actually wouldn’t have been so terrible if the main guy wasn’t such an awful actor. He wrote, directed and starred in it, which was the wrong decision.

Waiting To Exhale: such a great rewatch.

Once Upon A Crime: perfect rewatch. It’s baffling that this movie did so bad at the box office.

New season of Curb: ugh. I don’t want to be mean, but I really hate this show now. The storylines are so tired and it really didn’t need to come back at all. (Richard Lewis will remain the best thing about the whole show.)

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: taking Baby Dog to Niagara Falls, I really want to try the vodka chicken parm from Compton’s in Astoria, excited to spend some time with my brother + family visiting from Scotland and there are so many birthday cakes I get to make for other people this month.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can read what went on in January over here.

#this is liz heather #Liz Heather #NYC #best of NYC #February #February Feats 2024 #monthly #monthly post #monthly roundup

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nlcsolutions23 · 2 years ago

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A Local's Guide to South Plainfield's Parks and Trails

Introduction

South Plainfield is a great place to live and play. Our town has many parks and trails that are perfect for families, beginners, or experienced athletes alike. Here's a list of some of our favorite playgrounds:

Miniature Golf

Miniature golf is a great way to spend an afternoon, especially if you want to get out of the house and enjoy some time with your family. It's also a great way to spend a few hours with your friends who live nearby.

Playgrounds

If you're looking for a place to play, South Plainfield's parks have two playgrounds that are open during the summer and winter.

Both are in good condition and can be used by children of all ages. They're also open 24/7, so you can take your kids there any time—even during the night!

Tennis Courts

South Plainfield has five tennis courts, all of them open to the public. All five of these courts are available for use year-round and can be used by either adults or children. The courts are also available for singles play and doubles play, so there's something for everyone!

Another great thing about the tennis complex: it's located right next door to one of our local parks (see below)! This means that you don't have far to get your exercise in when it comes time for some sunshine volleyball or basketball with friends on hot summer days—or even wintertime ice skating if you're feeling extra adventurous!

Spray Ponds

Spray Ponds are a great place to go for a swim. They’re fun for kids of all ages, and they make the perfect spot for families or couples looking to get away from it all.

Spray Ponds are located in South Plainfield:

Spray Pond Park is located at 2500 Central Avenue, South Plainfield NJ 07080 (908) 834-8400

Spray Pond Park Preserve is located at 40 Valley Road, South Plainfield NJ 07080 (908) 834-8446

Bike Trails

South Plainfield is a great place to ride your bike. The town has more than 20 miles of bike trails, including one that runs along the Raritan River and another that winds through neighborhoods in downtown South Plainfield.

The trails are located at the town park, which also offers picnic areas and playground equipment for both children and adults. They're open year-round except during inclement weather conditions or when the park is closed due to maintenance work on one or more of its paths (you can check out their website for an up-to-date list).

If you prefer rollerblades over pedaling, there's also an on-site rental center where you can pick up one of their gear rentals—or even purchase one outright if you'd rather do that instead!

Rauseo Cycles

Rauseo Cycles is a family-owned bike shop that has been in business for many years. The store has a great selection of bikes, from kid's to adult cycles, with prices that are fair and reasonable. If you're looking for something specific, like an electric bike or mountain bike, they will take care of your needs! They also offer repairs on select models if there's something wrong with yours.

Patti Construction

Patti Construction is a bike shop that specializes in mountain bikes, but they also have an impressive selection of road bikes. They offer a large range of prices, so there's something for everyone! Patti Construction is a local construction company that has been serving the area for many years. They also offer concrete work as well as general construction services. If you need anything done on your property, they can help with that!

Conclusion

If you’re looking for a fun, family-friendly activity in South Plainfield, look no further than our parks and trails! These features make up the best recreation area in town and can be enjoyed by anyone from young children to adults.

Janitorial Services: Keeping Your Business Clean and Safe

When it comes to maintaining a clean and safe business environment, it’s important to partner with a trusted and experienced commercial cleaning provider. That’s where NLC Solutions comes in.

Founded in 1986, NLC Solutions has been providing top-quality commercial cleaning services to businesses of all sizes and industries for over 35 years. With a commitment to personalized service and eco-friendly cleaning practices, NLC Solutions has become a leader in the industry. You may find online using these keywords commercial carpet cleaning, commercial cleaning companies, office cleaning South Plainfield NJ, and janitorial service South Plainfield NJ.

NLC Solutions Commercial Cleaning

100 Ryan St Suite 34, South Plainfield, NJ 07080

(908) 753-3900

#janitorial service south plainfield

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seastarlily · 2 years ago

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My Favorite Parts From: “The Patrick Show Sells Out”

1. Seeing Mr. Krabs and Plankton make a major appearance together

Seeing other characters we love like SpongeBob, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, or Plankton show up on “The Patrick Star Show” is always a treat. It’s like seeing an old friend pay a visit after being away for so long. And considering how long it’s been since these two characters showed up last, this felt extra special.

The last time we saw Mr. Krabs play even a semblance of a major role was in “Pearl Wants to be a Star”, and the last time we saw Plankton was in the first episode, “Late for Breakfast”, almost two years ago. I’m of course talking about appearances as their true selves and not as Snappy in "The Lil' Patscals" or Dr. Plankenstein in "Terror at 20,000 Leagues". Just good old Mr. Krabs and Plankton.

And as if seeing them both in the same episode wasn’t enough, we get to see them together, doing what they do best - interrupt, roast, and beat each other up. Just what we’ve come to expect from two iconic business rivals.

2. The stellar visuals

One of the things I’ve grown to appreciate in this show is the subtle yet intriguing changes in visuals - especially the backgrounds. Instead of the acrylic painted backgrounds typically seen in “SpongeBob SquarePants”, we get softer, more vibrant watercolor backgrounds.

Two areas that caught my eye in particular were the interiors of both the Krusty Krab and the Chum Bucket. This is the very first time they have ever been depicted in this show’s style, and what I saw did not disappoint.

The interior of the Krusty Krab feels like the same friendly and familiar greasy spoon we’ve come to love, only somehow even softer and warmer, with various colors of metal lining the wall and spots of soft aqua light tinting the rich red edges of the tables.

The interior of the Chum Bucket feels almost inviting, with a soft shade of green tinting the metal walls and the warm glow of the lights overhead. There’s also the enchanting reflections of light on the many metal instruments, including the telescope Plankton uses to spy on his competition across the street.

Then there’s the popping mid-20th century styled colors of the Patty Planet...

... the intense fiery sky in the fantastical action-packed land of “Pat the Hapless”...

... and the soft rainbow pinwheel design painted on the wall of doors Mr. Krabs and Plankton roast each other from.

Say what you want about this show, but I cannot deny the absolute beauty and treat for the eyes that is the background art.

If this is how Patrick sees the world as some people theorize, then it’s a truly bold and colorful world indeed!

There’s also an energetic panoply of expressive body language and facial expressions in this episode. I swear, the animators just get better and better at what they do with every episode!

3. The sing-off scene

After multiple scenes of Mr. Krabs and Plankton rudely interrupting and trying to one-up each other, we get a scene where they compete through jingles of all things, and we get to hear both Clancy Brown and Mr. Lawrence put their beautifully dulcet singing voices to good use for the first time since "There Will Be Grease". And they both sound amazing.

And of course, since they’re on Patrick’s show, they bring him onstage and have him sing the lyrics they wrote. I’m not going to lie - the fact that Mr. Krabs and Plankton happily joined in and sang along with him is adorable. Sure, it was mainly because they had businesses to promote, and literally singing their own praises with the amount of enthusiasm they had is not hard for them at all, but still - allowing Patrick to sing a few lines and then join along with him left me smiling all the same.

Also, apparently Plankton can play accordion and banjo now? Good for him!

Side note: him playing banjo is an absolutely brilliant idea in hindsight, as Plankton comes from a family full of hillbillies. It would make perfect sense for him to know how to play at least a few chords or so!

My Thoughts Overall

This was well and truly a fun episode. Many, many episodes have felt meh at best, but I well and truly believe this is my favorite episode of “The Patrick Star Show” I've seen so far next to "Backpay Payback". I honestly hope we get more episodes with other favorites from the original show’s main cast in the near future. SpongeBob, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Plankton - whoever shows up to guest star next, I’m more than certain they will add something great to whatever Patrick has in store on his very own show.

#Going Jellyfishing #TPSS #I had been wanting to do a couple of posts like this on previous new “SpongeBob SquarePants” episodes...#... but things kind of got away from me and I missed my chance. So here’s one from a new episode of “The Patrick Star Show”...#... that I legitimately liked.

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mayurajfashions · 2 years ago

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Rajputi Poshak online

Rajputi Poshak is a traditional dress worn by women in Rajasthan, India. It is a beautiful and beautiful dress that is often made with fabric, glass, and beautiful beads. Poshak consists of a long skirt, known as a lehenga, and a feminine blouse called a choli. Dupatta, long scarf, and poshak are also worn. Rajputi Poshaks are often described well and the women who wear them are a symbol of the culture and heritage of Rajasthan.

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"Rajputi Poshak" is a four-part arrangement namely Kanchali, Kurti, Ghagra, and Odhani. A unique collection, Poshak is a sacred thing for a Rajput woman, its number is constant and changeable. It's not about her almost ethereal beauty that blends well in a perfect way with the beauty of many beautiful queens who do it so justice. It is decorated with pure gold thread and decorated with precious pearls and small precious stones; many companies are in this business and you can also purchase Rajputi Poshak online.

Rajputi Poshak, based on its use and style, is classified into two types, light weight, and heavy weight. A type of firework worn daily by Rajput women; it is a simple "Rajputi Poshak" with very light work (usually Gotta Patti) in it. The heavier figures are worn in festivals like "Teej" and "Gangor". Source URL: -https://mayurajfashions.blogspot.com/2023/01/rajputi-poshak-online.html

#rajputi poshak #rajputi poshak online #rajputi dress price #rajputi poshak under 1000 #rajasthani dresses #rajasthani dress for women

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bi-bard · 3 years ago

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you won't remember all my champagne problems - Dean Forester Imagine (Gilmore Girls)

Title: you won't remember all my champagne problems

Pairing: Dean Forester X Reader

Song Drawn: champagne problems

Word Count: 1,527

Warning(s): arguing

Summary: Dean is ready to commit entirely to (Y/n). He assumes that (Y/n) is going to be on the same page.

Author's Note: I'm actually pretty happy with this.

-----------------------------

It was the summer after our senior year.

Dean and I were both hyper-aware that this was going to be our best chance to spend time together before we both went off to college. We didn't want to confront that we weren't going to see each other for months.

I basically hopped down the stairs, ready to spend an entire day with Dean.

"Where are you going," I stopped at the door when my mom asked.

"I'm gonna go see Dean," I shrugged. "We need to spend as much time together as possible."

She smiled and nodded.

"What," I asked. She shook her head. "No, no, no. That's your knowing smile. What is it?"

"It's just nice to see you happy," she shrugged.

I felt my face get warm as I looked down.

"I'll see you tonight," I said before pulling open the door.

Dean was walking up to my house as I walked out. I smiled and jogged over to him, wrapping my arms around his torso and leaning up to peck his lips.

"I thought we were gonna meet at Luke's," I asked.

"What kind of gentlemen would I be if I didn't walk you there," he replied.

He stepped back and held his arm out to me.

I wrapped my arm around his and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"I have a very exciting plan for today," he said as we made our way down the road.

"Oh," I asked.

"First, we'll get breakfast at Luke's and then, we'll go to the library so you can get a new book, then we'll go to the lake so you can read to me," he explained. I laughed at that part. "Finally, we'll go to Patty's. She's giving us the space so we can dance."

"You aren't the dancing type," I chuckled.

"I'm trying new things," he shrugged. "And Sookie is bringing us dinner and said she needed more room."

"She's gonna try to feed us so much food that we feel guilty about leaving," I mentioned. "Because what are we gonna do without her food?"

He looked down as he laughed, "I should've known that was her plan."

"She can be very convincing; most people would've missed it."

He pulled the door of the diner open for me to walk inside.

"Hey Luke," I said as I sat down.

He set down two mugs of coffee in front of us, "Hey. How's the summer of love going?"

"It just started," I chuckled. "Jury's still out."

"Let me know the verdict," he nodded.

I nodded.

Luke was like an uncle to me. He didn't consider many people in town as friends, but my parents somehow got through to him. He helped them keep an eye on me. There's a picture in the back of a little me helping Luke bring food out to my family.

"Pancakes," he asked. I nodded. "Dean?"

"Pancakes sound good," Dean replied.

"Be back in a few minutes," Luke said before walking away.

"Hey," Dean grabbed my hand and smiled.

"Yeah," I asked.

"I love you."

I squeezed his hand back, "I love you too."

He seemed to relax when I said that. I avoided questioning why he was so nervous. I pulled his hand up so I could kiss his knuckles.

--time skip--

The rest of the day was perfect.

We almost got through half of my book before Dean insisted that we head to Patty's.

Sookie was just finishing with the setup.

"Hi Sookie," I said, waving with the hand that wasn't interlocked with Dean's.

"Hey," she jogged over and hugged me. "Oh, I don't want you to leave."

"I still have a whole summer, Sookie," I chuckled. She tightened her hug. "Sookie. Can't. Breathe."

"Sorry," she stepped back.

She looked between the two of us. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"You two have fun," she mumbled with a knowing grin.

"That was strange, right," I asked quietly when I knew that she was out of earshot.

"She's just being sweet," Dean shrugged. "Come on. Sookie said that she made your favorites."

Our dinner was kind of quiet, but it was nice. Sookie had prepared a meal that was worthy of the royal family. Way too brilliant for two kids that were just out of high school.

Dean seemed nervous again. I didn't want to push him but his nervousness and excitement made me nervous. I had no idea what he had planned but it wasn't our normal dates.

"Come on," Dean jumped up after we had finished our food. He reached a hand over to me.

I took his hand and let him pull me to the middle of the room. I waited as he went over and turned on the radio.

"My CD," I mumbled as he walked back over.

"The one you burned for me, yeah," he nodded.

He took one of my hands in his and placed his other hand on my waist. I placed my other hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you for this," I said after a few minutes of us just quietly dancing. "This has all been very nice."

"I'm glad you liked it," he replied, shooting me a nervous smile.

"You're nervous," I pointed out. He seemed shocked that I had picked up on it. "What's going on, Dean?"

"Well," he chuckled, "I just have an important question."

"Okay...," I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I love you," Dean said. "I have loved you since I met you. And the idea of being away from you terrifies me. So, I wanna take the next step."

Dean stepped away from me, still holding one of my hands but moving the other to reach into his pocket.

"I think that you're amazing; everything that I could ever want," my heart dropped as he took a knee in front of me. His hand pulled out a small velvet box. "Will you marry me?"

I stepped back as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

"(Y/n)," he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"I- no, I'm sorry but... no," I shook my head before storming out of Patty's. I was ready to take off running.

"Wait, (Y/n)!"

Dean followed me outside. I was in the middle of the street when he caught my arm.

"What's going on?"

"I can't... I can't marry you."

"Why not?"

"Dean, we're 18-"

"We love each other."

"That doesn't mean that I'm ready for marriage," I shouted. "I haven't gotten my degree yet or a job or a true place to live outside of my parent's place!"

"We can figure that out," Dean stepped forward and grabbed my upper arms. Tears started falling from my eyes.

"I can't take a chance on that," I shook my head. "I... I'm not gonna marry you when I'm not ready. I love you but... no, I won't marry you."

Dean stepped away from me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Then... I don't think we should be together," he said. My breath caught in my throat. "I can't stay here knowing that you aren't as committed to me as I am to you."

I didn't fight with him on it. He watched me. I couldn't tell if he wanted me to change my answer or come up with a better excuse.

"You'll find someone," I sniffled as I spoke. My voice was shaking. "Someone ready to wear your ring. It's... It's just not me."

He didn't respond.

I just turned around and started walking away.

I didn't want to go home yet. I just couldn't handle it. I found myself in front of the diner.

It was empty but the light was on. Luke was cleaning.

I knocked on the wood frame of the door. He saw me and instantly looked shocked. He pulled the door open.

"The jury's back," I forced a chuckle. "The Summer of Love failed."

"Oh no," Luke pulled me inside and pulled me into a hug. I sobbed and hid my face. "What happened?"

"I- I," I trailed off for a moment, trying to catch my breath. "He proposed to me. I wasn't ready. He didn't want to be with someone that wasn't as committed as he was."

Luke hugged me a little bit softer.

"I didn't want to go home," I said. "I just couldn't."

"I... I don't know if want to but I have that spare bed from when Jess was here," Luke suggested. "You could stay here for the night. Just so that I and your parents know that you're safe."

"Thank you," I replied, stepping backward and wiping my eyes.

"You can go up now," Luke pointed behind him. "I've gotta finish cleaning."

I nodded.

The walk upstairs felt like the longest walk of my life. I couldn't help but dread every step. I felt like I had let the best thing in my life just walk away from me. I just knew that I couldn't make Dean truly happy when I wasn't ready to say yes to him.

And I think running was the best way to ensure that he would find something great; something that makes him truly happy.

-------------------------------

Masterlist

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#dean forester fanfiction #dean forester x reader #dean forester imagine #fanfiction #imagine #x reader #gilmore girls x reader #gilmore girls imagine #gilmore girls fanfiction

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 2)

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (Part 1) Friday Saturday Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, puking, concussions, mentions of injuries/bullying, homophobia

Word count: 5,138

After school, you were sitting on the couch as you furiously typed on your keyboard at an extremely fast pace. You were on a roll with these essays, they were probably going to be finished by the time you had to go back to the school to get on the bus with the team. You figured that you could even finish Annie’s essay and get started on Sammy’s US history presentation on the sociopolitical climate of the United States in the mid twentieth century to today. However, instead of covering a variety of topics like the rubric requested you to do, you were only going to talk about the significant events that happened to the LGBT+ community starting with Stonewall and going to Obergefell v. Hodges. You were also going to go in depth about how even if there are more opportunities available and more laws set in place to protect for LGBT+ people in the present then there were in past, members of the LGBT+ community still suffer heavy discrimination in the workplace and in the public. With receipts of course, the assignment required a minimum of three pictures per slide, and the group chat was a perfect source.

After that was done, you would email Sammy’s teacher (you had her last year for US history and you knew that she had a son in the grade below you currently transitioning from female to male) that you were the one that did her project and send screenshots of Sammy calling you slurs. Luckily for you, you had receipts of her being transphobic in the past that you could also send. Everything was effortlessly falling into place for you today.

As you were typing, the front door swung open and two overly excited fifth graders ran into the house and up the stairs. A tired Schlatt followed them. “I will never know how the hell Phil keeps up with them.”

“I dunno, maybe because he’s already raised three kids before.”

You watched as your uncle jumped and whipped his head over towards you, his hand clutching his chest. He lightly glared at you, “christ kid don’t do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

You smirked at him before turning back to your laptop to continue typing the essay. You were almost done with the conclusion paragraph on Annie’s essay and you wanted to get to Sammy’s presentation as fast as possible. As you were typing, you felt a warm air fan across your neck and your uncle’s voice right next to your ear, “whatcha typin?”

You lept off the couch and almost fell into the coffee table before steadying yourself and deadpanning at Schlatt. “I was typing an essay before you interrupted me.”

He snorted, “it looked like you were on a roll, just thought I’d see what my beloved niece was writing. Can I read it?”

Your eyes lit up as an excited grin split your cheeks, “yeah, but lemme catch you up real quick. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie got mad at me a few days ago and wanted me to do some homework for them as a sort of payment. But after they pulled that little stunt in the lunchroom yesterday, they decided to be little bitches to me and call me slurs. So naturally, I decided to change the essay prompt into an in depth analysis about discrimination LGBT people face from their peers on the daily. My english teacher’s really against homophobia and the project’s worth twenty five percent of our overall grade, so it’s perfect.”

While you were rambling on and on about your detailed plot for revenge, Schlatt couldn’t help but be proud of the person you’d become. A major part of him was impressed that you came up with a detailed plan so quickly, that meant that his cunning nature was rubbing off on you and that made him ecstatic. Sure you mentioning not being straight was new to him, but he was prepared to accept you for whatever you identified as. He didn’t care how people identified, he just cared if they were good people. And his niece was one of the best kids he knew. He’d let your slip up slide for now until you felt comfortable enough to properly come out to him.

“That an amazing plan, fuckin brilliant. Though, you could do more.”

That piqued your interest, “I’m listening.”

“Do you have any blackmail?”

Your eyes glinted with sudden understanding, “why yes I do, uncle dearest. I just so happen to have thousands of texts from them talking shit about each other and basically the entire school. And them being incredibly racist. They would be destroyed if that came out.”

“Two things. One, never call me that again. Two, perfect. Keep it as leverage if they try to do something. You don’t pull out all the good cards in the first round, you wait for the right moment to strike so you can win. You need to constantly defend yourself against other players and anticipate their every move. If you leak everything right now, you won’t have anything to use against them if they have something up their sleeve you didn’t know about. Patience is key in things like this.”

You absorbed every single word that came out of his mouth like it was the holy gospel. Although he was your uncle and you loved him with all your heart, but he was a sly bastard when he wanted to be. He knew his way around fighting and manipulating people just right, so you were incredibly happy that you were on his good side and he absolutely adored you. Though questionable and morally gray, he was giving you advice because he cared about you and you’d be an idiot to not heed his advice.

“That’s genius, Uncle Schlatt. What would I do without you?”

“You’d get along just fine without me, you would’ve gotten there eventually. You’re smart. I’m just givin you a little push in the right direction.”

“I honestly would’ve never thought about waiting, I was so dead set on getting revenge that I would’ve just leaked everything all at once. I want them to feel how I felt when they were around me. I-” you paused. Would this make you the same as them? You’d be screwing up all their grades, Adrian’s job, and Sammy’s athletic career. You came to the chilling realization that you’d be the same as them. You’d be as manipulative as they were. “...Uncle Schlatt, would that make me the same as them?”

“Fuck no! You’re always gonna be better than them no matter what. When they’re at their best, you’re always gonna be a whole lot better than them. They deserve what’s happening to them, it sounds like they put you through so much shit the past few years. I actually think you could do a whole lot worse to them if you’re willing to put more work in, but it’s your plan and if you think that what you’re doing is too much,” he darkly chuckled, “you wouldn’t like my idea.”

“You’re right, they deserve everything I have planned for them. God, I don’t know what I was thinking, ‘would that make me the same as them,’” you mocked what you said earlier, “what a load of shit. Anyways, thanks Uncle Schlatt. I’m gonna get back to writing this. They’re due tomorrow and I wanna finish as much as I can before I have to go.”

“Alright, whaddya want for dinner? Phil’s gonna be like thirty minutes late from work so I’m cookin tonight.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. That man can barley cook boxed mac n cheese, let alone anything else. He’d burn down the house if you left him alone in the kitchen with the stove. “On second thought, why don’t I help you with dinner? We can make some chicken alfredo.”

“Awe, you’d rather hang out with me than finish your homework? Ya really do love me. C’mon let’s start.”

The process of making dinner was… interesting. Multiple times, Schlatt almost spilled boiling water on himself and he even managed to burn the pasta while it was in the water. How he even managed to do that you’d never find out, you had your back turned cutting up vegetables and herbs at the time. That was when you subtly started to take over in the kitchen, giving him smaller tasks while you handled everything else. You felt bad for Tubbo, his father can’t cook for shit.

By time you finished, about an hour passed and Philza had come home and changed out of his work clothes. The two adults sat at the table discussing something that you didn’t pay attention to while your brothers and cousin were in the living room waiting for you to finish dinner. Finally, you set the table and it was time to eat.

Because you couldn’t have many fatty foods before any matches or practices, you had made a separate plate for yourself that only had plain pasta, chicken, and broccoli. You were surprised with how well it turned out, you were following an iffy recipe you found on the first link Google brought up.

After dinner, you went upstairs to put your uniform on and pack a little bag full of things you might need: a small blanket, some snacks, a water bottle, and a portable charger. Oh, and fuzzy socks and a pair of crocs. You could never go wrong with fuzzy socks and crocs. Feeling a vibration in your pocket, you pulled out your phone.

Hales : )

(Y/n), I’m omw to your house

Gonna give you a ride to the school

(Y/n)

Hales you don’t have to give me a ride, I can drive

Hales : )

Don’t care

Omw, be there in like 7 mins

You swiped out of yours and her conversation and opened up the family group chat

(Y/n)

I don’t need a ride to the school, Haley’s giving me one

She’s gonna give me a ride home too

Dadza

Alright, thank her for me

Tell her I said good luck too!

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Dadza

(Y/n), do everything he wouldn’t do

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck you I’m a good influence

Dadza

You’re really not

Wilby

^^^^

Technology Sword

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck all of you

You heard Haley’s car pull into the driveway and dashed out of your room with your bag. Just as you put your hand on the doorknob, a hand stopped you.

“Coat.”

You grumbled as you reached past Philza to grab your coat. After you slipped it on, you were pulled into a hug. “You’re gonna do great out there. I know you’re gonna win this, we’ll be watching in the stands.”

“Damn right she’s gonna do good, she’s my niece after all.”

Schlatt pulled you away from your father’s hug and tried to ruffle your hair before you swatted away his hand, “don’t. You have no idea how long it took me to get a perfect ponytail. I have an ungodly amount of hairspray and bobby pins in my hair right now.”

“Fine. You’re gonna kick their asses tonight.”

Tommy and Tubbo pushed past Schlatt and both tackled you into a hug making you stumble slightly back.

“Kick their asses good (y/n)!” Tommy cheered, making you crack up before one stern glance from Philza completely stopped you. “Tommy, don’t say that. (Y/n), not funny.”

“Alright, Haley’s waiting for me. I gotta go, love you guys!” As you turned to walk through the door, you could hear your family following you and shouting “good luck”. You felt heat creep up on your cheeks as Haley rolled down her window and wove at your family with the biggest grin on her face.

“Thank you! We’re gonna take home the gold for sure!”

You hopped in her car as she rolled up the window and chuckled. “I love your family, they’re always so full of energy. It’s refreshing to see compared to how boring my family is.”

You glanced at your entire family gathered on the front porch. Tommy and Tubbo were practically vibrating with excitement, Wilbur and Techno calmly smiled and wove at you, Philza was grinning widely at you as you saw his mouth forming words that you couldn’t hear or read, and Schlatt was grinning cheekily at you. You raised your hand to wave at them as they vanished from view when Haley pulled out of your driveway. You smiled softly, “I love em too.”

The car ride was relatively quick with the same soft indie pop music floating from the speakers and an easy going conversation with Haley about the match tonight. You both thought that you could beat the other team if everyone focused 100% and played exactly like you guys did in practices. If everyone did that, you would be unstoppable.

Luckily for you and Haley, you were the first ones in line to board the bus so you two got the back seat with Zara and Jazzy sitting across from you guys. The hour long bus ride passed quickly and lively with you four passing around your phone and playing some mad libs, you were sure that by the end of the last game you four were laughing and crying. Sometime in the middle of the trip, you noticed that Haley would start to lean on your shoulder and continuously glance at you as she laughed. You desperately wanted to believe that it was because she liked you, but she was straight and she was your best friend. She was probably trying to make sure you were having a good time.

When the team had gotten to the opposing school and left the locker room to stretch in the gym, you could hear your family start to scream your and Haley’s names from the front row next to you, Tommy and Tubbo being the loudest amongst them with Philza trying to get them to quiet down so you could focus. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at them and Haley wove enthusiastically back at them. Zara was laughing at you two. Stretching went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were on the court facing the opposing team.

The first match was won by the opposing team by five points. The second match stretched on and on until it was won by your team narrowly by two points. The team was going to have to shape up in the third match if you guys wanted a chance at winning, the opposing team was good. Before the third match started, Coach Williams called for a time out so you guys could talk about strategy. Before Haley could go back onto the court, you pulled her aside.

“Hales, we need to do what we practiced. The other team won’t be expecting it at all, I’ve been setting you up this entire game. They’re never going to expect you setting me up for a spike.”

“When are we going to do it though? We need a better plan.”

“I’m sure the opportunity will come and both of us will recognize it. We just can’t do it too early in the game though, that’ll ruin their surprise.”

“(Y/n), I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“When do I not Hales? We gotta get gold this year.”

The third round went by with both teams constantly swapping places until you both were tied fifteen to fifteen. You saw the ball flying towards Haley, giving her the perfect opportunity to set you up for a spike. “HALEY NOW!”

You watched as her face hardened in determination as she pretended like she was going to spike it by jumping high in the air and stretching her arms back, making the opposing front row players all gather in front of her. Much to their surprise, she launched it towards you as you leaped up and went for the kill. The stinging of the ball hit by your wrist and the smack sound the ball made when it slammed onto the open gym floor was something you’d never forget as the crowd around you went wild over the unexpected play. You could hear the high pitched screaming of Tommy and Tubbo over everybody else. Glancing at them over your shoulder, you saw them jumping up and down on the gym floor and looking at you with awe filled eyes and gaping mouths. The rest of your family looked at you with similar expressions, their cheers echoing in your mind. Winking at them, you turned back to your team and went straight to Haley. Clapping a hand on her shoulder, you pulled her into a quick hug, yelling over the raving of the crowd. “HALEY WE NAILED THAT!”

“HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK THAT WAS ACTUALLY GONNA WORK!”

“You have such little faith in your setter! You wound me Hales.”

“Well, I would have more faith in you if you weren’t chaotic on the court, sweetheart.”

You felt yourself surge in happiness at the nickname, but you couldn’t afford to focus too much on it. Your team only needed one more point to win best in the state and go to nationals. It would be the first time in your team’s history if you reached national level, and you’d be damned if you were the one to screw it up for them.

The last rotation went on for a while, each team fighting tooth and nail for the state championship title with clashing determination. You tried your best to block every hit and try to set Haley up for a spike, and you were successful for the most part, only missing a few blocks. You saw the setter adjacent to you set the spiker up for a spike and jumped up in time to try to block it, your arms stretched upwards and your palms out. Only, the ball didn’t hit your hands. It collided painfully with your nose, ricocheted off your face with a thwack and sailed over to the other side of the court. Your head whipped back as your body followed suit and flew backwards onto the floor. Without giving you any time to react, your head bounced back and cracked against the polished hardwood floor of the gym. Everything went black.

“...(y……”

“..(y/n)......”

“(Y/n).”

You faintly heard someone calling someone’s name over the continuous ringing noise. Was it your name? It felt right, so it had to be your name. You peeled your eyes open to see a blurry figure hovering over you. It was swirled with tans, browns, and backs. After a while of the figure repeating your name, it slowly became more recognizable, albeit appearing twice in your vision. It took you a while to figure out who this was before your muddled brain recognized Haley.

“Hales! There’s two o’ya. Twice as beautiful babe…” You slurred out as you attempted to smile at her.

“Oh thank god, PLEASE WE NEED A DOCTOR SHE HIT HER HEAD!” Her usually angelic voice gritted against your brain like sandpaper making you cringe as pain exploded in your head.

“God babe you’re so loud, why’s so bright? I-wha's goin on?” You blearily tried to move your head to look around only to be stopped by a pair of large hands on each side of your head gently holding it in place. You moved your laggy eyes around to look at the figure. He was a blonde man with blue eyes and a hint of stubble on his chin. His eyebrows were knitted together and he looked… he looked… your brain worked to figure out why he looked how he looked. Who was he?

“Please don’t move hun.” His muffled voice was baritone. You squinted at him trying to figure out who this man was.

“Who th f-fuck… why?”

“I’m your dad hun. Do-do you not recognize me?” You made a noise in the back of your throat as your stuffy brain finally put a name to the face.

“Dad- wha’s goin on? I’on feel so good…”

“Shh, I know, I know. Just stop moving and talking. Everything’s fine. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Mmk… Dad, where are we? I’ont know- you’re so quiet.”

“Stop moving so much. You’re on the floor in a gym. You just won your team the state championship. Now stop talking please.”

Huh. So that’s why everybody seemed to appear from above you. You strained your eyes to look around you, but you could only see your dad’s face hovering above you. “Shit I- who’s aroun’ me? Where’s Hales?”

“I’m right here sweetheart. I got the doctor, Mr. Minecraft.”

Your dad’s face moved away from your vision so fast that it made your head spin and your stomach twist. Another face appeared above you that you once again didn’t recognize.

“I’m Doctor Martin, can you tell me your first and last name?”

“Uh, (y/n) Minecraft?”

“Good, what month are we in right now?”

“Nov-November?”

“Close, it’s late October. Can you tell me who this,” he pointed to your dad, “is?”

“S’my dad Phillip.”

“That’s your dad Philza.”

The questioning stopped as he suddenly shined a blinding light into your sensitive eyes. You hissed as you tried to move your head away from the offending light only to be held in place by your dad’s hands. Your head spun as you moved too quickly and a wave of nausea hit you, making you groan and move your arm to cover your eyes. Your hand was stopped by something warm and soft wrapping around it and holding it tightly. Everything was so overwhelmingly and painfully bright and loud. You wanted to make it stop.

“Mr. Minecraft, your daughter appears to have a concussion. I don’t have the tools on hand to determine the severity of it, but it’s worrying that her pupils are asymmetrical, she’s delirious, and has slight memory loss. I understand you live about an hour away from here, and it’s alright for you to take her to a hospital closer to your house. Make sure you keep her alert.”

Your delirious mind only registered about half of what came out of the doctor’s mouth. You mumbled gibberish as you once again opened your eyes to look around. You were only briefly able to crane your neck to the left. Several figures large and small were standing behind your dad. Your family, your mind supplemented. Slowly, your mind was starting to recognize your surroundings even if there was currently double of everything and everything was blurry.

“I’m going to help you stand up. Do ya think you can do that?”

“Yeah Dad.” You lifted your upper body off from the ground with a gentle hand on your back helping you sit up. Fighting the wave of nausea that slapped you in the face, you reached up to rub at your eyes. A hand once again stopped you. You peeked your eyelids open and lightly glared at whomever stopped you. “Hales you’re lucky you’re so cute I woulda slapped you. I like holdin but you’re bein annoying. Stop.” You attempted to make your voice sound firm, but the words that came out of your mouth were slightly slurred.

She was silent as she helped her dad haul you to your feet. Once on your feet, you saw the room spin and felt yourself start to sway slightly. An arm wrapped itself around your shoulders and pulled you close to them so that your weight was supported. They were a little taller than you were making it easy to lean on them.

“...Can you walk?” A deep, monotone voice rumbled the chest of the person you were leaning against.

“Mhm. ‘M not weak.” Though your limbs felt like they were made of molasses, you placed one foot in front of the other slowly. The person moved alongside you, “you’re doing so good, keep going.” That sparked familiarity in you as you stopped in your tracks and tried to look up at the person you were leaning against making the person tighten their arm around your shoulders when you almost fell over.

“Tech?”

“Yeah, it’s Technoblade. Just focus on walking. You’re almost out of the gym.”

When you realized that you were out of the gym, you sighed in relief. It was so much quieter and darker. Though it was still relatively bright, it was better than the gym.

“S’better.”

“When we get her to the car we can give her some sunglasses or something if it’s still too bright for her.”

“Wilbs-”

“Focus on walking.”

You huffed in irritation, “don’ tell me what to do bitch.”

You felt Techno’s body jolt slightly as he chuckled, making your head throb at the sudden movement. “Just walk.”

When you walked outside, you shivered as you felt the cool air nip at your exposed skin. Right, you were in your volleyball uniform. “I’ll go pull the car around, you guys stay with her.”

You saw a tall brunet start to walk away from you. Uncle Splat? Uncle Schmat? Whatever his name was, you were sure he was your uncle. You tried to snuggle closer to Techno, craving warmth but never being satisfied. Where was your uncle?

After a while, you saw a car moving towards you and blinding light pointed right at you making you cringe away and groan. Techno started to slowly walk towards the car. “C’mon (y/n), you’re almost there. When you’re in the car you can relax.”

“Tommy, Tubbo, and Techno, you’re in the back row. Schlatt can drive and Wil, you’re taking the passenger seat. I’ll stay with her in the middle row so she can have some room to lay down.” Tommy and Tubbo were with you? Why weren’t they talking, they usually were very vocal.

“Tom, Tubbs didja like the game?”

They didn’t say anything as they climbed into the car. Did they not hear you?

“They’re just… tired (y/n).” Your dad’s voice reassured you as he took Techno’s place holding you up.

“I wanna nap. ‘M so tired.”

“You can’t sleep yet. We gotta get you to a doctor first.”

“Mm. Makes sense.”

“Let’s get you in the car hun.”

As he helped you climb into the car, you felt an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over you making you lose your balance and almost faceplant into the cloth seats. You felt yourself being gently, yet urgently taken out of the car and led to grass as you felt your esophagus shorten. Something burning made its way up your throat and spewed into the grass. You felt someone rubbing your back as you puked up your dinner.

When you were done, you reached up with a shaking hand to wipe your mouth. “You feelin better? Think you can get back into the car or do you need to sit down for a bit?”

“Car.”

After some difficulty, you were successfully in the middle row of the car laying down with your head on Philza’s lap. Soon enough, your shoes were taken off and a blanket was draped over you.

“(Y/n), what do you remember?”

You scrunched up your face as you squinted at Philza’s face. “I remember playing volleyball with Hales. She’s so pretty, she’s straight though. I remember the other team hitting the ball, me jumping, then nothin. Wha’ happened?”

You watched as Philza winced, “well, you got everything right so far. You got hit in the face with the ball so you fell and hit your head on the floor. You were passed out for a minute before you woke up. It was a pretty nasty fall, we’re going to the hospital now. How’re ya feelin?”

“Head hurts, ‘m seein two of everything, an I can’t think.”

“Do you know what a concussion is?” You nodded in his lap slightly, “you probably have one.”

After a while of talking, you were slowly starting to come to your senses and your speech was clearing up, but your head was still too stuffy to think about what you were saying before you said it. You didn’t have a filter.

“Do you wanna tell us about your week so far? Do you remember most of it?”

“Mhm, it was shit. On Monday I had a panic attack and Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were being bitches to me all day. They fucked up my back. On Tuesday, they got mad at me for ditching them and they had me do their homework, had another panic attack, and Haley told me that someone took pictures of our boobs ‘n stuff and they were gonna leak it to the school if Haley didn’t stop hanging out with me. Haley and I almost kissed, but she’s straight. Pulled an all nighter and Wednesday I accidentally came out to Tech and Wil and had another panic attack. Annie, Adrian, and Sammy took more pictures of me through my window, Annie outed me to the entire school and slapped me. Another panic attack, skipped the last two classes and felt like shit the entire practice. Today Adrian and Sammy told me to kill myself and I had another panic attack. ’S about it.”

As you were going through your week, the hand that was previously gently stroking your hair had frozen as the car was enveloped in a tense silence. Luckily, Tommy and Tubbo were passed out in the back seat so they didn’t hear how bad your week was. Everyone awake knew that you had a few bad days this week, but they didn’t know the full extent of it. You watched as Philza’s expression had turned downright murderous, but you didn’t really care. You were busy talking about your week.

For the rest of the car ride, Philza asked you simple questions like what your favorite color was, your favorite animal, basically your favorite everything. Eventually, the car pulled into the hospital parking lot and Philza helped you get out of the car. “Schlatt, can you take the boys home so they can get some rest? I’ll stay with her.”

“Yeah, I’m on it. Don’t cause too much trouble (y/n), we all know you can raise hell.” He watched you for a reaction, but when you didn’t react, he coughed. “Well, I’ll see ya later kid. Good luck.”

The car drove off leaving you and Philza at the front of the emergency room building. “It’s gonna be a long night (y/n).”

“I gotta finish Annie’s essay and Sammy’s presentation though.”

“No you don’t, I’ll email your teachers.”

You two checked in with the front desk before moving to sit on the uncomfortable chairs. It was going to be a long night. You were so tired.

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boxofbonesfic · 4 years ago

Text

Pattycakes (Chapter 1)

Title: Pattycakes

Summary: Like they say, it really does just take one time... Patricia Hodgins knows that better than anyone. She’s got even worse luck when it comes to her child’s father: Billionaire playboy Thor Odinson. He’s selfish and manipulative; and Patty’s not sure which outcome frightens her more—killing him or letting him worm his way into her heart.

Pairing: Thor x Black OFC

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Mildly dubious consent, Breeding Kink, Age Difference (significant but not extreme), Stalking (light stalking though lol), Past Relationships, Class drama, Dad!Thor, Character improvement

A/N: Hey folks! This is one of my ongoing fics, so I figured it would find a good home here. Definitely the lightest thing I’m writing right now, but who doesn’t love a bit of fluff, right? I hope you’ll all enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoy writing it 🙏🏾 Character improvement and empathy are really big themes here, as well! I have seven chapters of 16 posted, so this one is a ride!

This is a work of FICTION, and it is Dark, so I assume once you’ve clicked through the link that you are comfortable with that. I do not give consent for my work to be copied, translated, or posted elsewhere, even if I am credited. This work is entirely mine, and unbeta’d, so read at your own risk! 😘

Chapter 1: “Only Once”

“Patty. Earth to Patty, you in there?” Wanda’s snapping fingers appeared in front of Patricia’s face, and she jumped back with a shrill, surprised squeak. Patty felt her cheeks heat as her friends laughed at her shock. She couldn’t blame them—she’d zoned out, staring unseeingly at traffic as they waited in line. She took a few steps forward into the space that had cleared up in front of her, and the irritated murmurs further down the line quieted.

“Sorry. I spaced. Moving up.”

“We noticed,” Wanda replied, laughing. Patricia watched as her friend dug around inside her purse for first a cigarette, and then a lighter. “It’s gonna be worth the wait, I promise.”

Behind her, America snorted. “Yeah, whatever. That’s what you said about Two-Five-Three, and the music was wack as fuck .”

“What, so I’m not entitled to one flop? Look at this line and then tell me I’m just talking shit,” She snapped back, exhaling smoke from her nostrils. Her red lipstick had left a perfect ring on the filter, leaving smudges on her pale fingers as she talked. “Besides, what else were you guys going to do tonight? Play yahtzee?”

“I’m offended you’d suggest that,” Patty replied, sniffing. “This is an Uno house, goddamn you.” She poked her friend in the shoulder accusingly. “This blasphemy? I won’t hear it.”

They were only a few bodies away from the front of the line, which Patricia was grateful for. It was true that Wanda usually had an eye for the best, most interesting venues in the city, but waiting in line to get inside was never particularly fun. Patricia shifted from foot to foot, her borrowed heels clacking on the pavement. Wanda had insisted on them, of course.

The man-killers, Patricia thought amusedly, snickering. She glanced down at them, and wiggled her toes. They were about four inches too high for her, but they looked amazing, the gladiator style leather wrapping halfway up her calf. She wrapped a lock of her kinky black hair around her finger before releasing it—the braidout that she’d planned had come out perfectly, her thick coils framing her face neatly.

“Next.”

Music boomed loudly in ears as they were ushered inside by the large bouncer, shedding their coats at the door. The base was so deep that her chest vibrated with it, and suddenly she didn’t regret donning the skimpy, milkmaid style dress that America had talked her into buying just weeks before. The air inside was thick and heavy, and the club was packed with bodies. She could see now why there had been so many people in line, including them. The lighting was tinted lavender, and several chandeliers of differing lengths hung from the arched, vaulted cielling. The building clearly used to be some sort of church that had been converted into a nightclub, and they’d kept some of the more religious ostentation, like the stained glass windows.

One of her friends tapped her shoulder, and Patty turned to face them.

“Bar,” Wanda mouthed, pointing behind her. The bar was on the far side of the massive room, near some very sleek looking booths. Patricia picked her way across the dance floor after her friends, joining them at the bar. People were in constant motion around them, jostling them as they waited for the bartender’s attention. The music wasn’t quite so loud over here, and they could hear one another if they were practically shouting.

“Shots?” America asked, and Patricia gave her the thumbs up. They were here to celebrate after all, and she was feeling ready to let loose. America had a propensity for tequila, which Patty normally avoided. A particularly nasty memory from sophomore year served as a reminder not to imbibe too much of that particular poison—but tonight, she was going to disregard that warning. Just for a little while, anyway.

When their drinks finally came, Patty linked arms with her two friends at the elbow, each of them holding a shot glass to another girl’s lips.

“What are we toasting?” Wanda asked, grinning at them. “I’m accepting suggestions.”

“Being fucking done with school?” America raised an eyebrow sarcastically. “No greater joy than never having to write another goddamn paper. Or log onto j-stor ever again.”

“Not finding jobs,” Patricia supplied dryly, remembering just how lacking her job search had been going prior to and now after graduation. Can’t forget that frickin’ gem. “Oh wait, no. Working retail for the next six years while I try desperately to break into my field.”

“That’s… way too realistic Pat,” America replied dryly, snickering.

With that, they tipped the shot glasses up, swallowing down the burning liquid. Patricia sputtered, clearing her throat as she set her glass back down on the bar face down. It had been a little over week since graduation, and none of them really had the faintest idea what came next. America had a job offer in Philly—some programming thing, but she hadn’t given them her notice yet, or clued any of them in on whether or not she’d be taking it. And Wanda was content to freelance until some graphic design company or other picked her up.

Like her friends, Patricia hadn’t really picked a direction. The Museum of Natural History still hadn’t gotten back to her about her application, though her professor had said he’d put in a good word for her. She still had her job at the clothing store, where she’d coincidentally met America and by way of her, Wanda—so it wasn’t as though she couldn’t tread water for a little while.

It was a rather strange feeling, a little like standing on the edge of a cliff. There were so many options, so many routes forward… But also a sheer fucking drop, and spiky, painful death if she so much as stumbled on her way down.

America pressed another shot into Patricia’s hands, distracting her from her thoughts. She threw it back, closing her eyes and wrinkling her nose as she drank it all down in one swallow. She coughed a little before reaching for one of the lime slices the bartender had prepared for them, along with a dash of salt on the tip of her finger. As she licked it, her gaze drifted up the bar idly, only for ice to run down her spine as she locked eyes with someone.

His bright blue eyes wrinkled at the corners as he grinned at her, exposing perfectly straight, white teeth. Patty’s eyes widened. Oh fuck. Without thinking, she stepped aside rapidly, blocking eye contact with Wanda’s head awkwardly. She must have looked stricken, because Wanda stared at her, her expression confused.

“Patty what’s the problem? What’s up?” She turned this way and that, craning her neck as Patricia tried to stop her.

“Nothing, oh christ , Wanda! Seriously, nothing—” Her cheeks were hot. It was already embarrassing having hidden, but when Wanda suddenly snapped back to attention, a sly smile on her face, Patricia felt her mortification double.

“I see you’ve spotted your first kill of the night,” She replied coyly, twirling a lock of her hair. America was laughing behind her, and for the life of her, Patricia couldn’t calm the burning in her cheeks. He was handsome—blonde, chiseled features, a playful smile on his lips. She clapped a hand to her forehead. “Ooh, and he’s a little older, too. I always knew you liked them… mature.”

“My what ?” She snapped. “We’ve been here like ten minutes.” Patricia hoped the disdain in her voice was more convincing than it felt. She’d reacted like a little kid—and she still was, hiding behind Wanda so that the handsome stranger couldn’t get another good look at her face. In part because of her own frustration at her shy reaction, and mainly because it couldn’t have been her that he was looking at. Patricia took a deep breath and straightened her back.

“He’s totally looking at you.” America murmured, digging her elbow into Patty’s sternum. She refused to look for a moment, steeling herself. How embarrassing would it be if he was making eyes at some girl behind her? She peeked around Wanda’s smiling face, and he was leaned against the bar, his chin on his hand as he chuckled. He raised a drink to his lips before putting it down to waggle his fingers at her. Patricia gulped.

“Oh shit he is .” She replied through clenched teeth as she smiled back. “Oh fuck.” He really was looking at her. As she’d poked her head around Wanda’s, their eyes had met again. He’d hidden his face with his hand and then peeked around it, still grinning cheekily at her. Patricia wasn’t sure whether to feel mortified or laugh out loud—obviously he’d seen her shennanigans and found them amusing.

Patricia grabbed Wanda’s shot, ignoring the latter’s loud complaint and downed it. “Hey! Those are seven bucks a piece, Patty!” She shrilled, slapping at her hand. “You better venmo me tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we’ll subtract last girl’s night from it,” Patricia quipped, enjoying the embarrassed flush that flooded her friend’s cheeks. Wanda held her hands up—a truce. Patricia accepted it with a giggle and a nod. “‘Merica, is he still…?” Patricia asked nervously. She’d turned to face the bar, so that he wouldn’t be in her field of vision. It helped that she was flanked on either side by friends who could scope out the scene for her, rather than her having to risk another embarrassing moment.

“A hundred percent. He’s a pretty one, Patty. You’ve got good taste, I always said that.”

“How would you know? I thought you said I was your type,” Patricia feigned offense at her friend, who sniggered, slapping her bare shoulder lightly.

“I’ve still got eyes. I don’t have to like avocados to know how to make guacamole.” America waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Patricia snorted.

“Yeah, we all know how much you like to smash.” Wanda quipped, signaling to the bartender. America tried to look upset, but the three of them devolved into tipsy giggles before too long. When the bartender finally made his way over to them, he was already holding a drink. He motioned to Patricia, who eyed it suspiciously.

“Dark and stormy. Courtesy of the gentleman in the red shirt.” Her stomach tightened nervously, though she accepted the drink with careful fingers. He pointed across the bar to the face Patricia already knew—the blond.

He waved again, the cocky tilt of his chin sparking both attraction and irritation in Patricia’s mind. Should I go over? Should I say anything? Surely it would be rude to at least not say “thank you”, wouldn’t it? Patty had never been a big one for clubs—it was much more Wanda’s scene than hers, but it was fun to dress up, to drink and let loose, to dance. But there was a social etiquette involved that she didn’t quite grasp a hundred percent. As she stood there waffling, her choice was made for her. The man stood, his massive bulk rising gracefully from the barstool as he made his way toward them.

Wanda, ever gracious, practically spat out her drink. “Oh shit, your kill’s coming over.”

“Stop calling him that, he’s not my anything . He bought me a drink after I hid from him like a ten year old.” Patty’s cheeks were still burning, and she took a swallow of the drink he’d sent over. Damn it, it was good. He was tall, and had a foot on her easily, with wavy blond hair swept back into a loose knot at the base of his head. The red button up he wore was rolled up at the cuff, and tucked into his well tailored dress pants. Patricia realized she was eyeing him hungrily, and tore her gaze away, pretending to make conversation with her friends as he approached.

“I see you got my drink.” His voice was deep, and somehow easy to hear over the thumping baseline behind them.

“It’s all you, girl.” America whispered, squeezing her arm as she and Wanda slipped away.

“Yeah, text us if you get into any trouble. Not good trouble. Bad trouble.” Wanda winked at her, grinning as Patricia sputtered.

“I-um. Yeah. Thank you for that,” She replied lamely, cursing her awkwardness. “It’s good.”

“I’m sorry if I weirded you out, or anything,” he replied, chuckling. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled at her disarmingly. “I couldn’t help but notice a pretty girl.”

In spite of herself, Patricia snorted. “I think there are a lot of pretty girls here. Did they get drinks too?” She asked, regretting the snarky words as soon as they left her lips. He laughed though, shrugging his massive shoulders.

“I don’t think I could afford it, honestly,” He joked easily. His laughter was a pleasant baritone, vibrating in Patty’s chest as they spoke. He leaned over her, his bright blue eyes interestedly studying her face. “But something tells me I made a good call.” He winked at her, before draining the rest of his own glass. “I’m Thor.” He held out a massive hand for her to shake. Patricia found herself smiling.

“Thor? I’m Patricia. Patty.” She corrected, shaking her head. “That’s some name.” She said, taking another swallow of her dark and stormy.

“Tell me about it. When your dad’s name is Odin, you’ve only got but so many options for your kids.” He leaned back against the bar, and Patricia could feel his gaze on her like a physical weight. God I’m terrible at small talk.

“I’m pretty sure my parents just drew names out of a hat if it makes you feel better,” Patty replied, patting his large hand in mock sympathy. “I was almost Phyllis.” She drained her glass, before setting it on the bartop.

“Thank God you weren’t.” He said smoothly. “Can I get you another drink, Patricia?”

Patty was already feeling the lightheaded dizziness setting in from her first three shots, and she knew she was something of a lightweight. She could practically hear Wanda’s sarcastic tone from here. How many drinks does it take to get Patty hammered? Four. One for her, and three for you while you wait on her to finish the first one.

“I think I’m good for now,” Patty shook her head, though she tried to smile appreciatively at him. “I was actually thinking maybe I’d go dance.” Patricia was just making conversation—trying to cover up the nervousness she felt. She’d spent the majority of her time at school knuckling down and studying, much to the chagrin of her friends. Maybe if I’d gone to more parties I wouldn’t be standing here grinning like an idiot, running out of things to say.

“Now that’s an idea,” He moved closer, sliding a warm hand around her waist. Patricia started at the contact, a little gasp escaping her lips. “Mind if I join you?” His eyes glittered in the low light, and he tugged her a little closer, his large palm splaying almost the entire distance from her waist to the curve of her hip. Oh fuck yes.

“Sure! I mean yeah.” He followed her towards the dance floor, his hand loose around her own. Patricia caught a glimpse of America and Wanda pumping their fists and flashing her thumbs up as she passed. They were always urging her to loosen up, to live a little, so she was sure they were pleased to see her cutting loose a bit.

Behind her, she could feel Thor’s body pressing closer to her own as they navigated the dance floor, looking for space. He was so tall, she had to tilt her head up to look him in the eyes as the music pulsed around them. He was liberal with his hands, though Patty found she didn’t really mind the feel of his hands roaming, and they didn’t stray too far.

As the music changed from electro-pop to hip hop, he spun her, pressing his front to her back and placing a searing kiss on the side of her throat. “I knew you would be a good dancer,” He murmured, his lips just brushing the shell of her ear as he spoke. Patricia couldn’t help the shudder that traveled down her spine at the heat of his words.

He was touching her so eagerly, his hands hungry for any inch of exposed flesh he could get away with fondling. It was a heady feeling, having a man like that so worked up over her.

“I like to think so.” She wasn’t sure where she found the confidence—probably the alcohol sitting warmly in her belly—but Patricia ground the soft curve of her ass against him, and both felt and heard him groan softly, his hands tightening around her hips. His fingers flexed against her briefly, before he released her.

“You can do that any time you feel like it. No need to ask permission.” He laughed as he spoke, but Patricia could tell he wasn’t really joking. The sturdy, possessive grip on her body betrayed that. They danced together for a few more songs, the crowd ebbing and flowing around them like the tide. Before too long, Thor’s smooth lips were pressed against the curve of her ear again, his breath drawing goosebumps up to the surface of her skin.

“I was thinking maybe you might come back to my place for a night cap. If you want.” His tone was flippant, but there was real interest in it. Before she could stop herself, Patricia found herself nodding.

“Why not?” The words fell from her lips unchecked. “Let me just let my friends know… Come together, leave together and all that.” Patty reached into her purse, digging for her phone. As it turned out, she’d missed three texts from them in the group-chat already, one signifying that Wanda had already left with someone, and that America was chatting up some girl at the bar.

P: Going home with Thor. Call the cops if I don’t come home :P

W: Fuck 12! If you go missing we’re going Saw on that motherfucker. Love ya!

“Got permission?” He drawled, and Patricia’s cheeks colored.

“Just trying to be responsible.” She groused, and he held his hands up in apology.

“No, I get it. I promise I’ll return you in one piece.” The cocky grin from earlier was back on his full lips, and he ran his tongue across his canines teasingly. “Or as many pieces as you’d like.”

His mouth was on hers before they’d even made it all the way out of the club, pressing her against the stone exterior of the building as they waited for a cab. His hands were hot and insistent, skirting the hem of her dress as he palmed her thigh. They felt searing hot against her flesh in the frigid night air, and a throaty moan escaped Patricia’s lips unbidden.

“Is this included in the nightcap or is this a specialty service?” She asked breathily, and he growled against her throat in response, before sucking the flesh at the juncture between her neck and shoulder into his mouth, worrying it with his teeth.

“Definitely specialty.”

“Uh, sir? The valet…. he um, he has your car.” The timid voice of one of the parking assistants made Patricia’s face burn as she abruptly remembered that they were in public —though this didn’t seem to stop Thor, whose hands would not be deterred. He didn’t even turn from Patty, who could feel herself dying of mortification over and over again with each passing second. He stuck his hand out impatiently without looking.

“Keys.” The valet dropped them into his hand and raced away, while Thor continued peppering kisses on Patricia’s bruised throat. “Fuck. I don’t want to stop touching you,” He admitted hotly, the words a growl. Patricia’s head was swimming with heady pleasure. She wasn’t sure what she wanted, every thought was underscored by the hot need he’d lit inside of her.

She was embarrassed, she wanted him to stop—and at the same moment, she didn’t. She was enjoying his attention, the raw need he was touching her with. Before Patricia had to make a decision, one was made for her, as Thor pulled away, his eyes cloudy and pupils dark.

“Let’s go.”

—

His apartment was nice— nice being the most extreme understatement I could possibly make. When he’d steered her towards his car, she’d caught the look of enjoyment that had crossed his face at the shock that colored her features—after all, it was her first time seeing a Jaguar in person. She was sure he’d gotten the same look when they’d exited the elevator into his penthouse suite.

Thor kicked his shoes off in the entryway, motioning for Patricia to follow after him. The foyer was narrow, but opened up into a massive living and dining room, with floor to ceiling windows that made Patty just a little nervous, though the view was… amazing.

She found herself padding across the hardwood floors to get a better look. The penthouse apartment overlooked Central Park, and the noise and activity on all the sidewalks melded together to create a storybook photo of lights against the inky dark sky.

“Best view in the city,” Thor said softly, his arms closing about her from behind. She hadn’t noticed him sneaking up on her. Patricia nodded.

“I’ve never seen it like this.” It was true—she’d grown up here, worked here, gone to school here—but she’d never seen the city from above before—not like this. With one hand, he produced a wine glass, filled just over halfway. Patricia took it gingerly, careful not to spill any. She had a feeling his clothes probably cost about half her rent, and she didn’t much feel like shelling out to replace them.

“Then let’s make it better. You want to see the balcony?” He asked, giving her hip one last affectionate squeeze before moving away. He’s so graceful for such a big guy, Patricia thought absently as she followed him across the living room. He opened the sliding door for her, stepping out of the way so she could step outside. It was chilly and windy this high up, but he had been right—it was even better outside.

Patricia was grateful when he positioned his warm body behind hers, leaning over her. She wasn’t much into wine, but whatever he’d picked was fruity and sweet, easy to drink.

“Wow.” Good one, Patty. A real fucking wordsmith. “It’s amazing. I’m kind of jealous you get to see this every day.” His apartment was easily four or five times the size of her own—and that was just the first floor. Patricia had spied a set of stairs leading up, and she had a feeling there was far more apartment than she’d seen.

“It’s definitely one of the perks of living here,” He purred. “You want me to give you a tour?” His breath was hot on the back of her neck, and Patricia had a feeling the tour was going to end abruptly at the bedroom. The thought send another shiver down her back, but this time it wasn’t because of the cold. It was hard not to feel out of her element. An attractive, older guy had taken an interest in her—more than anyone she could think of in the past six months.

“I’d love one.”

He led her back inside, pointing at the kitchen and living room. Another door led to an office, and a bathroom. Thor made a beeline for the stairs, ushering Patricia up ahead of him. “I won’t look, I promise.” He replied cheekily when she smoothed the back of her skirt down. Thor, for his part didn’t seem bothered by the age difference, grinning up at her wolfishly when she peeked down at him.

“That was a very good lie,” Patty replied snarkily, and he chuckled. “It didn’t sound rehearsed at all.”

“I’m willing to wait for the main course. Don’t want to spoil my dinner.”

Heat flooded the apex of her thighs, but to her credit, Patricia kept it together, her steps steady. There were three bedrooms up here, but he didn’t bother showing her two of them, leading her straight to his room. The floors were all hardwood, and he had an absolutely massive bed— an alaskan king, maybe? — set against the left wall. There was a desk, a small sofa with a coffee table in front of it. The wine glass Patricia was carrying was abruptly plucked from her fingers and placed on the dresser as they entered.

Thor spun her around, a soft “oh” escaping her lips just before he crushed her body to his own, his mouth descending hungrily onto hers. His kiss was bruising and needy, and he greedily sucked down any noise she made, worrying her plump bottom lip with his teeth. It was a harsher kiss than the ones he’d given her before, and different from the fumbling of college boys that she’d reluctantly grown used to. He pulled away panting, a satisfied smirk gracing his features as he took in her swollen lips, and ruddy cheeks.

“This is a good look for you.” His tone was smarmy as he ran his thumb across her bottom lip appreciatively. She opened her mouth, sucking the digit into her mouth. He groaned loudly, his head falling back briefly before he snapped back to attention. “Again.” Patty swallowed thickly, the movement forcing his thumb against the roof of her mouth as her tongue moved beneath it. She’d never been ordered around like that by anyone—and she didn’t want to like it, but she’d acquiesced almost instantly, and the answering groan made her knees shake just a little.

“Good girl.”

The husky, growled words sent heat rushing from the top of her head down to the tips of her fingers and toes, and she couldn’t help the moan of pleasure that escaped her at his praise. The self assured smirk on his handsome face grew wider at this, and he lifted her, his hands cupping her ass as he did so.

“Hey—” He didn’t bother with the propriety any more; openly fondling and squeezing her without preamble. Instinctively, Patty wrapped her thighs around his waist, locking her knees on either side of his torso. He hushed her with a stern look; her mouth snapped shut, the complaint dying in the face of his disapproval. She wanted more than anything for this to continue, for him to keep touching her.

He walked backwards toward the bed, sitting heavily on the edge as his knees touched it. Thor’s hands were everywhere—in fact it seemed like he had more than two—up her dress, pulling at her thong, cupping her breasts through the fabric of her dress. It was maddening; like her body was an instrument and he was an expert, playing every note perfectly. He ran his thick finger up the seam of her panties, his eyes locked onto her face.

“So wet, babes.” He clucked his tongue. “Wet and messy.” The tip of his finger found its way underneath the edge of her panties, stroking the clean shaven lips of her pussy. Patricia bit her lip and looked away, embarrassed. His gaze bored into her, exciting her and making her nervous all at the same time. She could still feel his eyes on her, even as her own fluttered shut and he slipped just inside her.

“Fuck!” Patricia’s voice sounded hoarse and needy even to her own ears, and it scared her. “I-I—”

“You want more, don’t you baby?” Gentle—but still commanding, a demand for an answer. His gaze turned expectant, and Patricia scrambled to answer.

“Yes!”

Patricia didn’t consider herself virginal—she’d had sex before, and she’d found pleasure at her own hands more than once—but nothing had ever been like this before. She’d come to detest male bragging, and the cock sure attitudes of her peers, but this was...different. Thor wasn’t just bragging.

He was making promises, and he intended to keep them.

He sank a single finger inside, curling it. Patricia’s hips moved of their own accord, her legs tightening around his waist as she jerked in his arms, a sharp cry coming from her. Oh fuck, fuck fuck— Thor’s other hand was kneading her ass as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of her clenching warmth. He grunted appreciatively.

“Yes, baby. Oh yes . Come on.” Patricia’s head fell forward against him, the stubble of his beard rubbing against her forehead. He was egging her on in that low baritone, making it hard to think and shit it felt so good not to. His thumb found her clit, rubbing at it in slow, deliberate circles. The action sent shockwaves through her body, her pussy clenching rhythmically around his finger as Patricia’s hands found his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin.

She’d never been particularly vocal before—in fact, the last guy she’d slept with had accused her of being frigid—but it didn’t seem like Thor felt similarly. He teased every sound out of her with ease, adding a second finger to the first and groaning at her tightness.

“You are fucking tight , you know that?” His voice was low, menacing. He scissored his fingers inside her, and Patricia keened. “You are going to feel so goddamn perfect.” His words were strangely predatory and cold, though there was a smile on his face. Patricia pushed away the strange, used feeling it left in her gut, focusing instead on the hot coil of pleasure tightening at her core. His fingers moved expertly through her slick folds, drawing garbled pleas and gibberish from her parted lips as she writhed in his lap.

“Thor,” She whined, her hips still moving against his hand without her express permission. He pressed his lips against her forehead, and leaned away, his hand still moving steadily. “Please.” Patricia could feel him, hot and heavy pressed against her through his pants.

“You can do better, I think.” His thumb pressed more insistently against her clit, and Patricia felt her body jerk, and her knees tremble, loosening around him. “You want to cum, baby? Tell me that’s what you want.” The sobbed request fell from her lips before Patty could stop them.

“I wanna cum!” She cried, pressing herself against him as she writhed. It felt like she was on fire, her nerve endings singing with pleasure. When he didn’t speed up, or give any indication that he’d heard her, Patricia began to struggle, whining. “Please, Thor!” He chuckled, as though her efforts were nothing more than amusing. He was so much bigger than her, and stronger too. It didn’t take much for him to hold her in place with a stern hand.

“So demanding.” He crooked his fingers inside of her again, still flicking at her clit with his thumb. “I give the orders here, baby.” He stilled for a moment, and Patricia let out another breathy whine. “But I do want to feel that tight pussy suck at my fingers before I sink my cock in it, so I think I’ll allow it.” Thor sounded like he was debating himself rather than addressing her, and for once she was glad for it, because Patricia couldn’t think of any words to answer him with. Her mind was blissfully blank, her hips moving steadily against his hand as he brought her closer and closer to sweet oblivion.

Tension built steadily in her belly, pulling taut as he murmured obscenities against her hair. What he planned on doing with her, how hard he was going to fuck her, how perfect and tight and sweet she was going to be wrapped around him—and then Patricia saw white, her body convulsing as she came apart in his arms. Her mind was mush, and it took her a few moments to realize that the slurred, garbled words she was hearing were coming from her own mouth.

“Thank you… Thank you… So good…” Patty was still trembling, her legs unable to support her as he placed her gently on the bed. Thor rose to his feet, tearing at his shirt with impatient hands, his eyes dark and hungry as they took in her shaking body. Her dress was all rucked up around her hips, her lacy black thong pushed to the side. As conscious thought returned to Patricia’s head, she began to feel embarrassed—ashamed, even. How must she look? Her soaked pussy on full display for a man she barely knew.

Thor didn’t give her any more time to contemplate her current situation as he fell on her again, his impatient hands pulling at her dress as he leaned down to press his mouth to hers again. He trailed kisses down the sied of her jaw and returned to her throat as he grunted with frustration.

“Is there a zipper on this thing? Or how the fuck do we get this off, babes? I’m dying here.”

“Hah. Yeah, one sec.” The zipper was hidden in the ruching of the dress, and Patricia sat up, forcing him back. She turned around, indicating with her finger where it was. It took him a few tries, but he got it down, unhooking the little eyelet at the top. She’d forgone a bra—it wasn’t like she had a whole lot of cleavage to speak of, she was barely a C cup. But Thor didn’t seem disappointed as he cupped her in his hands, rolling her nipples between his thick fingers as the dress slid down about her waist.

“So much better. Let’s take this off.” He pushed the sleeves down her arms, and pulled the dress down her legs eagerly. Patricia thought she’d turn over onto her back, but Thor held her hips, stopping her. “No.”

“But I—”

“No. Stay like this. You’ve got a great ass, you know that?” He mused, tugging on the fabric of her thong with one finger as he caressed the curve of her hip with a gentle hand. “Fuck, you’re a cute little thing. How old are you, babes?” He asked, and Patricia caught the sound of a zipper over the rustling of the sheets underneath them.

“T-Twenty four.”

My birthday was two months ago.

He didn’t respond, but she felt the push of warm flesh against her ass, hot and hard. Oh my fuck, he’s huge! A needy little whimper wormed its way out of her throat, and Patricia heard him chuckle as he parted her with two fingers. He spread her wetness through her folds with a careful hand, groaning as the head of him throbbed against her.

Thor leaned down, his hair brushing against her back as he went. It must have come loose from his bun , she thought fleetingly.

“Stay still.”

He’d barely imparted the command before she felt the length of his cock slide against her, and Patricia fought the urge to jerk away in surprise. He pressed against her opening, and she felt herself stretching to accommodate him. A high pitched whine escaped her as her head fell forward onto the mattress. Thor was unperturbed and continued pressing inside her, murmured curses falling from his lips.

“So fucking tight, fuck, fuck fuck —”

Patricia had never felt this full. Not with people, not with toys, her own fingers; nothing compared to this. She was glad the weight of his body was pressing her into the bed, his hands the only thing keeping her hips up, because her eyes were rolled up into the back of her head and her mouth was wide open.

There was so much of him, and when she finally felt his hips against her own, Patricia was panting loudly, her pussy clenching wildly around him. Then his hand was in her hair pulling her up and against his body, the other circling her waist to keep her up. It felt like an even tighter fit in this position, and the fullness at the apex of her thighs bordered on discomfort. Patricia whined, shifting against him. Thor drew out slowly, before snapping his hips against her, forcing his cock back inside.

The angle forced her to stare down the line of her own body, watching as his girth disappeared into her pussy over and over. It felt so good, and her hips moved on their own, falling in line with the pace he’d already set. The hand at her waist traveled up to her breasts, squeezing them roughly as he pulled one of her nipples taut.

“Ah! Stop!” Patricia whined, frowning up at him. He licked his lips.

“But when I do this—” He tugged again, “you squeeze me so. Fucking. Tight.” He punctuated each word with a hard snap of his hips. It hurt, but… It still felt good, and when he soothed it with gentle strokes after, she felt herself tighten again just the same. His cock slipped out of her, and Patty whined at its absence, craning her neck to see his face. “Turn over, Patricia.”

Patricia turned over onto her back, her cheeks hot as their eyes met. His hair was loose and wild around his face, which was ruddy and glistened with sweat. He growled at her, grabbing her thigh with one large hand and pushed it up. He fisted his cock in one hand, pumping it a few times before he pushed into her again, groaning.

“You are a fucking gem,” He said, his gaze both lusty and appreciative as he appraised her briefly before sinking in once more. His head lolled back and Patricia mewled.

She’d never been able to orgasm more than one time in a row, and almost never with any of the other partners she’d had. But now, Patricia felt that coil tightening again, white hot pleasure shooting up her spine. Thor’s huge hands were bruisingly tight around her hips, pulling her hard against him as he moved above her.

“I want you to cum on this cock, baby.” His voice was wild and guttural. “Now.” She wasn’t sure if it was the strength of his command, or the feel of his cock pushing against that rough patch inside her, but her eyes rolled back and Patricia’s body shook. Colors exploded behind her closed eyelids, and her hands scrabbled for purchase against his arms, shoulders, torso as she came hard around him.

Thor’s hips met hers roughly as he fucked her straight through it, her nails digging into his skin. He groaned, holding her in place as heat flooded her insides, his forehead dropping to hers as he panted. Patty could still feel him throbbing. She was panting too, her hair a mess around her face as his sweaty weight pressed her into the sheets.

After a moment, he heaved a huge sigh, and gingerly removed his still semi-hard cock from her pulsing center, and laid down beside her on the bed. Patty wasn’t sure what to do, but he solved that problem for her by tugging her body against his own.

“You can stay the night if you want.”

Next Chapter

#Dark!Thor #Thor Odinson #Dark!Thor x OFC #Original female character of color #Black OFC #Thor x Ofc #Dark!Thor Smut #Pattycakes Fic #Boxofbonesfic #Fluff #Romance #Drama #no angst tho #Dark Thor x reader #Dark!Thor x Reader #Black reader

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mandareeboo · 4 years ago

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SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky.

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly.

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

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