#best parallel-laid

[sommersinc]

Best Continuous Filament: Unlocking High-Performance Textile Solutions

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[jester-d-ace]

GUYS

GUYS?!!!

Chapter 331 vs Chapter 1082 Brother against brother, who is the real coward when it's you who's the one giving up?

[midnightsslut]

not sure these are connected but ‘my best laid plan / your sleight of hand’ —> ‘and all of those best laid plans / you said I needed a brave man / then proceeded to play him until I believed it too’

[katara-stan-club]

sewing scary!! committing to cuts scary!!! am little bitty baby!!!

[druidgroves]

me rereading my own fic & the parallels start paralelling

[dahldahlbills]

…bucci gang witch hat crossover

[mogamuncher]

The two best reasons to ship anything are:

1.Incredible, deep and detailed narrative themes. The parallels that seem to hit just right, the narrative foils that they can be to each other, the intricate dynamic that's both extremely complex and easily understood. The juxtaposition between something that's harsh and undoubtedly toxic, with the softer undertones, the parts where you read in-between the lines and find a mutual feeling of loneliness from both parts, their intrinsic understanding of each other comes from the mere fact that they're each others mirrored reflections and shadows. In the end both sides will be together forever, and you as an audience can clearly see their tragedy laid out before in a path that blurs pure anguish and tender romance

2.It would be so fucking funny

[spuffybot]

Someone asked me why Buffy is my favorite show and I had to stop myself from writing more than this but this is what I said…

1. Despite its complicated history (the creator turned out to be an abusive asshole) it’s one of the first mainstream successful examples of smart feminist genre tv and it laid the groundwork for everything that has happened since.

2. The show is brilliantly written and uses metaphor so successfully they teach college classes on it. Every episode / monster / dilemma Buffy and her friends face are a parallel for the real life struggles of teenagers.

3. Sarah Michelle Gellars performance across the 7 seasons of the show is a masterclass in acting.

4. It featured one of the first truly fleshed out lesbian relationships on network tv in the US and THE first wlw kiss between committed partners on prime time network TV. I remember the news covering it right after it aired.

5. Season 6 is to date the best depiction of depression I’ve ever seen in any media ever. It’s unflinching, raw, uncomfortable and hard to watch. And having that to watch when I was 13 was really crucial.

6. The way the show built pop culture references into its DNA had such a cultural impact that it’s responsible for turning “google” into a verb.

7. The makeup, fashion, and hair was simultaneously trend setting and a deliberate part of the story telling. You know what’s happening with certain characters based on the colors they are wearing for example.

8. The musical episode was one of the most successful musical episodes of a tv show at the time and it started a trend that tv shows still follow today.

[beetboxx]

a siren’s call home - a.h.b x reader

pure, sickeningly sweet fluff in which you wake up to andy home from tour, finally.

content disclaimers: not proofread, religious reference, reference to sexual activity but no smut, language? maybe?

author’s note: we are so back squad. it’s only been like two years. i haven’t written in so long so we can call this a test run as i get back into the swing of things. ill update my intro post to better align with what im into! feel free to come and talk to me about prompts, ideas, random thoughts, whateva. i miiiiiiggghhhhtttt write some smut next. hope you enjoy!!

orange light intruded through window shutters like holy arms, caressing the cozy room you laid in with a touch of warmth to counteract the bite of cold at your feet and nose. what was also fighting against that was the thumb stroking the small crevice between your nose and your cheek, not doing much to help but comforting nonetheless. it was the exigence to your wakeup, a bit alarming at first until you understood the source- a large hand with long fingers attached to a proportionally long man smiling like the protruding rays of sun through draped brown, ginger-ish curls, most of it lazily pulled back into a bun at the back of his neck. you registered the vague freckles speckling his cheeks as you blinked lazily, huffing and tensing your grip in your blanket.

“hi.” he said, breathing out a laugh as you felt his calf rub up against yours and his hand smooth against your cheek to your hair to comb his fingers through it as best he could, his nails scratching your scalp ever so slightly.

you sleepily murmured a response, a quick, “hi, andy,” scrunching up your face when his palm returned to your cheek. his other ventured to your waist under the comforter, soft and delicate and squeezing the plains and valleys of your side a bit when he felt like it.

”you’re pretty.”

for such a poetic and profound man, able of expressing emotions so difficult to pin down, he was seemingly struck dumb in this moment over the sight of you. maybe in order to allow his wisdom to return, maybe in order to attempt to become impossibly close to you, his other hand paralleled the other on your waist, pulling you into his torso and wrapping around to meet at the small of your back. you nuzzled into his chest, taking in his familiar scent of a cologne reminiscent of dark forestry and a breeze and placing your own hand on his shirt at his heart to feel it flutter at your fingertips. comfortable, comforted.

“when’d you get back?” you asked, voice coming out as a mellow drawl.

andrew hummed, placed a kiss on the top of your head. “late.”

“you should have woken me up,” you whined, rubbing your eyes.

another kiss, this time to your forehead where your skin meets your hairline. his lips were warm against your chilled skin.

“you say that,” he teased, accent thick with sleep and homecoming, “but you would have crucified me had i actually done that.”

“crucified, no. pinned you to the bed in a similar pose and jumped your bones, maybe.”

you grinned, leaning your head back to allow enough room to kiss his jaw. a stubble met your lips, one that had grown out and been trimmed many times over the course of his touring, all phases of which you unfortunately, miserably, missed.

“hush. you’re dreaming.”

“am not.”

andrew laughed, you squeezed him in your arms. his laugh, although quiet in volume, felt like a dose of hospital-grade medicine to your yearning-induced blues in your system as soon as it entered your ears. his voice and presence was coaxing you awake, a process usually so difficult and taxing, flooding your growing consciousness in a pool of comfort. you missed him. you missed him like a wilted flower misses the sun. you missed him in a way that could only be equated to something of cosmic origin.

“i missed you,” he whispered. thank god.

you returned his sentiment. silence then fell like a thick blanket over you both, thicker than the one bunched up at your shoulder. it sat there for a long while, robbing the both of you of thought except for the feeling of relief. andrew’s thumb rubbed back and forth on your back, a reminder of existence so you didn’t float away. you could have sworn he fell asleep with how quiet he was and how steady and light his breathing was.

you sighed, began squirming your way to get up at least to a sitting position- but you didn’t get far, that ambition quickly being squashed by two lean arms squeezing tightly, barring you from moving away from andrew.

“no.”

a mumble, quick and straight to the point. you huffed out a chuckle, choosing not to argue and enjoy the moment. moments, andrew decided for the both of you. very long, undescriptive in quantity moments. one of his hands moved up to cradle the back of your head, pulling you in closer and raking into your hair to rub at your scalp. he was wearing a gray crewneck, you noticed, with unfamiliar blue embroidery of the name of some U.S. state, vintage style. you didn’t recognize it, guessing he must have gotten it on tour at whim.

he was definitely tired- exhausted, even. the lines and circles of color under his eyes had emphasized themselves, but the sight of you gave them a certain light that made you know he wasn’t going to sleep. too many thoughts, too many things to do now that he was home and finding himself complete. he was completely overwhelmed with the feeling of being home that he felt perfectly energized- that, and three cups of coffee he had had just before laying down beside you definitely helped. he took your hand in his as if he was inviting you to a dance, pressing the back of yours against his chest. to further trap you in his web or to just get closer to you, you’ll never know.

“honey, i have to get up eventually,” you remarked, trying to convince yourself more than him.

“no you don’t,” andrew immediately replied without skipping a single beat, tightening his grip on you in case you tried to pull a fast one on him and get out of bed. one of his legs, clad in loose cotton sweatpants, swung over both of yours under the covers, effectively holding you right where he wanted you in his arms.

“andrew, i have to be a functioning member of society,” you joked, wiggling around just a little with no actual attempt to break free from his hold. truthfully, you could never: he had a hold on you and your heart so tight and driven by fate that you were damned for eternity to be consumed by your love for him.

“i can make you breakfast,” you added, craning your neck back to smile at him.

andrew hummed, clicking his tongue. “ooh. very enticing and unfair,” he said. “trying to seduce me with the prospect of food.”

“seduce? i am merely giving you incentive.”

he paused, thinking. his head tilted, as it often does when he is thinking. you took his occupation with thought for an opportunity to make a smart decision and begin your day, freeing yourself from his entrapment and slinking off the bed. he acted quick, however, letting out a noise of surprise and disappointment wrapped in one and throwing himself across the bed to your side. andrew wrapped his arms around your waist as you stood, stopping you from moving too far away from

him. not again. you figured he would be a bit clingy getting back from tour, but this was taking it too another (but very welcomed) level.

“andrew!” you whined without any real weight to it as his chin rested on your hip, grinning happily. your fingers tangled themselves in his wild hair, frizzy from travel and the usual irish moisture. his hair tie was certainly not doing a fantastic job at keeping it all back, strands thick and thin escaping its weak confines. you giggle, “you’re like a puppy sometimes, you know that?”

“and you’re like.. ehm.. a siren.”

you playfully scoffed, “a siren?”

“oh, yes, a siren,” he grins, pulling your waist in until you were sitting back on the bed. “a beautiful but relentless creature with an inclination for luring and trapping defenseless men such as myself.”

“and eating them,” you added.

“whatever,” andrew said, pulling himself up to sit beside you so he could drag you into his lap. you turned yourself and straddled his thighs, arms wrapping around his neck, your intentions for the morning entirely forgotten.

he kissed your lips, softly, like he was testing the waters. you thought your breath stunk for a second with how gentle he was- until you tried to peel away, only for him to grab your face and keep you in his entrancing kiss. he deepened it, mouth opening slightly in rhythm with yours, lips dancing together like they hadn’t in so long.

you stayed that way for a while, letting andrew delicately consume your heart and soul and very essence with his neglected mouth. you could feel his breath mix with yours and span over your cheeks, and you swear it was full of helium with how light and floaty your lungs felt. you pulled away, eventually, taking a little more willpower than you would like to admit as his charged lips pulled yours in like a magnet.

he sighed, happy and content as he stared at you with big eyes, twinkling with every overwhelming emotion he had towards you.

“you have me entirely whipped, woman. like a siren.”

“i know,” you replied, kissing his lips again. “i’m glad you’re home.”

“i know.”

[sommersinc]

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[rinnstars]

unsaid goodbye!

forever doesn’t exist: where you and rin grow up and out of each other

itoshi rin x reader : angst, no comfort, post-winter argument with sae, not proofread + likes and reblogs r appreciated <3

you’ve always been by his side, ever since you were little - as though you were tied to him with a red string on your pinky. if not with sae, you practically hovered and orbited around him like the sun to him, the earth. it was nature in the both of you to stick to each other, from the day you saw him from your windows playing football outside his house - perhaps the universe had drawn the both of you together. there wasn’t a doubt in your mind when you ran down the stairs to meet rin for the first time, a miraculous recovery in your parents eyes, being able to get out of bed at all with such high fever. but not even the burning and pounding head, not the suffocating nose nor the aching in your bones that screamed could stop you from opening the door and meeting him. it was a scene out of any romance novel or mangas, love at first sight when you first looked at him in the eye - those doe eyes that turned crescent shaped as a smile enveloped his face.

you’ve been stuck to him like a conjunctioned twin since then - playing with him during break time of kindergarten, letting him purposefully win and even mess around with your toys that paled in comparison to him, sitting beside him in class for the entirety of primary school, waiting for him outside his football club, always waking up by his warm pat on your shoulders. a routine that looped around in your mundane and boring life, he was the firecracker, the climax, the excitement any kid craved. it was almost inscribed into the universe that you would be his, and he would be yours the day you met — a mix between the cold and harsh winter where he became the warm and blooming spring.

a button peeled from both your uniform on graduation day - they say love only exists when youre older, when you’re no longer naive and young, when you’re mature enough but its clear the universe had fated you to be his, and him to be yours. the matching heart beat to the loud music, the shy eye glances as you two dance to the song, the hands interlocking with one another as though it was made to fit his and yours.

but forever doesn’t exist, you learn as you grow up to be fourteen, and so does he.

his dream shatter at his brother’s hand, his heart ripped apart from his chest, still pumping as it laid on the grassy field. he knows, he’s known for the longest time he’ll never match up to his brother, the genius, the prodigy, the best. yet, he cannot forget those words that’s like a sword stabbing at his achilles heel. he hates the way he looked at him, the way he feels like a insignificant insect and a bug to his brother. its rainy. and he’s all wet outside, still sitting at where his heart were ripped out from him, where his corpse should be lying perfectly still waiting for those bugs from the movies to consume. yet, he’s conscious, yet he’s awake, yet he’s not dead yet. and god does he wish to have just died right there and there. for the first time in his life, he glanced at the ball and all he can feel is anger, hatred, envy, bitterness, violence.

his eternity with being the best strikers with his brother is gone. he learns, forever doesn’t exist. but he wants it. he wants to chase this dream, this delusion, this failure all the way. and he puts his life to it - if not to become the best with his brother, who is he? who is itoshi rin compared to his brother? he has to. he has to. there’s no other option in his brain as it yells, screams and screeches at him. and so, he throws away everything in his life to pursue this unattainable, impossible, dream from another parallel universe just to rebel against this cruel fate his brother had set for him.

a day. it only took a day to abandon and leave you far behind in the past - in a faraway fairytale land where you still resided. its too quick, you think, you don’t even realise it. things you’ve taken for granted for - lunchtime, break time between classes, after school, rather than now spending it with you, he was in his own universe he’s crafted for himself. suddenly, you went from his soulmate, his best friend, his girlfriend to just another insignificant background character, meant to be invisible, play a supporting role in a now stranger’s life, be alone. for the first time in your life, itoshi rin stopped orbiting around you. it had always been natural instincts, had always come so naturally to him to stay by your side as though you were magnetic to him. you don’t realise it at first, those small moments, brushing it off as a temporary break considering his football gigs and it being exam season. you were occupied in your own world, that you failed to see that he has drifted off to another galaxy, ran off and abandoned you without you even noticing. fixated on academics, and your clubs, perhaps it was meant to be - the way you had naturally drifted away. your galaxy has occupied others - your new friends, your club friends, your new sibling, and perhaps it was running out of space. maybe, the universe had crafted you two to just be together just temporarily.

but you’re stubborn, you’ve never given yourself to fate - breaking the barriers of illness and pain just to meet him from a simple shared glance, stuck with him as he got outcasted for not playing games right in the world of playgrounds and fairytales, even attempting to play football with him despite your weak legs. and you refused, you denied this inevitable moment. forever. forever exists - fuelled by love stories and mangas and novels you read in the library, you read from your friends house and online - there’s no doubt about it in your heart. and so you run - the same way you’ve ran down the stairs, the same way you’ve ran with him to football clubs, the same way you’ve ran after him all your life with nothing but your heart to give to him - running for a single chance to catch up to his universe, to find him and jump timelines just to stay with him.

sticky notes on his desk to encourage him, love letters shoved carelessly between his books at his home, bento boxes made from scratch according to protein standards and all. all for a glimpse of the light that shone like stars in your mundane world to just glance at you, yet all that returned was nothing, not even a gaze or glance returned. but you were nothing but stubborn, rebelling against the chains of an inevitable separation set by the world. its love, you know it is, and love. love. love. so you try again, buying him soccer books that you know he reads, buying him horror movies and games, buying him all the treats you know he indulges in just for a chance for a smile - a grin that stops the world completely for you, a smile that you wish to commit to your memory for the rest of your life, a laughter that sends dopamine straight up into your brain, yet all that returns is still the same stranger that you can no longer recognise.

your life was shattered the same day his was - a humourless way of fate reinforcing how you and itoshi rin were interlinked, connected, bound together by the cruelty of fate and life. he had become winter instead of the spring that bloomed in your cold and lifeless life filled with little passion and dwelling about.

so you let go. you’ve never given up before - not for exams, not for your clubs, not when there’s a chance. you’ve believed in the impossible, a naive thought, you think looking back. its what growing up is to you - learning to let go so to not get rope burn on yourself that will soon turn into a scar if held too tightly or too long. you let go of itoshi rin, the only one that you loved - your first love, your first friend, your first spring in your illness-filled childhood. you let go of the once routinely horror nights and games where you yelped into him as he laughs. you let go of the calls while playing horror games where you memorised the map at this point. you learn to let go and learn to pass by the football books section of the library and bookshop you still frequent, now with anyone else but the first person you’ve came to him. you learn to stop associating places with him - the bus stop you’ve met every morning until then, the spot in the library where you would study whilst he read english books or football related magazine, the spot in your room where you’ve slept on his shoulder and lap everyday after school without football club in the way. you learn to let go of old trinkets - the first music tape you and he made filled with cliche love songs that you used to listen to everyday, the lucky charm bracelet he had thrown away that night clearly, the letters that he used to write and sneak to you during classes. you learn to find new people outside of the orbit he’s made for you - talking and chattering with new friends that share the same soul, taking care of your little sister that still barely understood the words you spoke, hanging out outside of school to places once filled with memories with new friends that don’t match up to the memories you once shared. you learn to live a little outside of his world - you’ve learnt new instruments, piano singing guitar whatnot, you’ve learnt new skills that he’ll never be there to see, drawing writing baking and what not, you’ve learnt to try new food rather than picking away and putting them on his plate - green beans dark chocolate and lamb meat. you let go of the free periods shared with him - spending it to catch up on your studies, with new people trying new food talking about new things, listening to new songs that wouldn’t merge well with his and yours songs you think.

and its too late for him to turn back time. he wakes up in cold sweat one night, long after you’ve let go he thinks. he wakes up, as though still in that same field where his dreams and corpse laid. he wants to scream but his throat feels as though its burning, its bleeding - he thinks. his voice doesn’t make a single sound as though he’s mute, as though his mouth is taped, suffocating in his own fear and world. yet, for the first time, he wishes he was just a little kid, he was just that naive teenager who didn’t know of the world beyond his galaxy, he was just a kid content with living in his brothers shadow a little longer. he looks at the wall, football posters ripped out in anger that night. the books on football he collected strung on the floor in piles messily, the new dvds of the latest horror movies stuck out in his old trashed out room that he only visits to sleep. for the first time, he recognises the change his room and life has gone through since that night. and for the first time in awhile, he reminisces about you - his first love, his first friend, his first spring. he looks at the lucky charm bracelet he fixed up after in his anger broke it in the field on his desk collecting dust. he looks at the sticky notes he’s taken out of his bag after holidays has arrived, in a pile tied up by a rubber band that is no longer yours. he looks at the empty spot of his bed where you used to lie in during holiday sleepovers, either sleeping or playing with his gaming consoles that your parents refused to get you. he looks at the music tape that is still on his bedside table despite not listening to it ever since he left. he looks at the reminders and trinkets of you and for the first time, he thinks he wished he never grew up that day.

he wants to turn back time, he wants to wish that he would have never went to play football the night sae returned and just stayed at your house for a sleepover as you insisted, he wants to go back to being in your orbit instead of wherever this was in this galaxy that is so dark, alone and cold. if growing up meant letting you go, he suddenly wants to go back to being a naive little child again, he wants to be a teenager again, pretending to be studying behind a textbook with you as you sleep and he reads another football magazine grabbed from the convenience store that he now realised has recently closed down. he wants to go back to how everything was, he wants to travel to a parallel universe where you and him stayed the same, where your hands never let go of each other as you both ran together into the world together.

is it too late? the unnerving continuous beeping of his phone before it goes to ‘caller is busy’ makes him feel so. its sudden, its out of the blue - as though you too had simply flipped a switch on him, locked the doors and left him in the harsh winter. just years ago, on this very day, you’ve ran down from your stairs to meet him - and he swore he saw a snow angel come to life as you greeted him - nose slightly red, puffy cheeks and with a laughter that sounded like music that sends shivers to his spine. just years ago, on this winter day, he met the love of his life, his first love, his forever. your scent had long disappeared from his room now filled with his own that he has no connection nor emotions to. your presence had disappeared apart from the physical gifts you’ve left in your wake. its almost as if you’ve died too that night - was your corpse with him in that grassy field? did you grow up too that night? growing out of him, just like sae. just like everyone in his life. an unsaid goodbye, he wants to scold you, he wants to tear you apart and beg and plead and ask why you’ve abandoned him too. he wants to say a proper goodbye to you before you left too, was he not good enough for that? he wants to be yours still even after all this time, even after all the tears and blood shed after a nightmare has gone by, but you’ve left - and maybe that’s the real nightmare in contrast to the horror movie type of ghost or slasher films he watches.

forever doesn’t exists, he finds out when he leaves school the next day and sees you with new people he doesn’t recognise, with a new hairstyle you’ve never worn with him before, holding new books and humming tunes that he is a stranger to. and god does he think you’re cruel, you’re evil, you’re just like sae for leaving him without any words.

[astralleywright]

okay so like Fearne and Chetney had a threesome with Chetney's ex Deanna in some haunted woods, and then Chetney offered up an open invitation for some "sexual healing" to anyone in the group, but like especially Orym and Ashton, and like, especially Ashton, who was kind of actually considering it. which is funny bc Ashton also has this flirtation with Fearne, and they just held hands naked in lava, which freaked Orym out because Orym and Fearne are best friends, and also he and Ashton have this emotional support rock, narrative parallels thing going on. Ashton has a similar thing with Laudna, but with significantly more bitching and significantly less intricate rituals and blatant ogling. and Laudna is very much shacked up with Imogen regardless, and if they were to open up their relationship to anyone it would absolutely be Fearne, who will probably ask them the second she finds out they're together, bc the only one they've actually told is Chetney, who is probably not Orym's dad but may be Orym's dad. which is a little weird, given that before this was suggested Chetney had sexually propositioned Orym multiple times, and Orym wasn't not interested, but this is somehow not the first time basically this exact thing has happened on this show. Fearne and Chetney tried to sleep with Orym's mom. FCG is also here. and actually got laid before any of these people, with FRIDA, who, funnily enough, is Deanna's best friend-

[milkcanned]

night in with the one piece girls

ft. nami, nico robin, boa hancock, nefertari vivi, tashigi, & perona

a.n: lol this is my debut. enjoy.

cat burglar nami

• first of all, you had to beg nami for a night in rather than a night out in the first place

• she loves to go out shopping with you

• but, on this night in, best believe you are being pampered.

• she makes the two of you various tangerine snacks for the night. tarts, dipping sauce, a cocktail, you name it.

• laying your head on her lap as she doodles away at a new map she's making

• or, resting your head on her shoulder to watch the delicate ink lines indicating the landscape of the island she's mapping.

• settling on the floor for a massage, which she is an absolute top tier masseuse.

• feeling her hands glide across your back, working into your tense muscles and easing away that low pain.

• her complaining that you're "doing it wrong" when it's your turn to massage her, when really she's just trying to hide that she's ticklish.

• setting up a bath together with her homemade tangerine body wash and soaps, it smells just like her

• her accidentally getting soap in your eyes and giggling while washing it out

• "whoops, sorry." she sticks out her tongue and gives you a wink

• cuddling with her in bed, tangled in each other's arms. her breath against your neck and that warm smell of tangerine

nico robin

• a cozy night in with robin is not a rarity in your relationship

• in fact, it's quite often the two of you relax in the comfort of home

• firstly, book marathon.

• just reading beside each other, enjoying one another's presence. maybe her head's in your lap, maybe you're squished close in an arm chair together

• a debrief on the books you've both read is a must.

• deep, meaningful talks about life, the universe, stupid things. the two of you could go on to each other about the terrors of life and not even lose sleep over it. and don't even think about doing this while high.

• "if a dog and a cat's upper body were sewn to together, how do you think it would expel waste?" ... "good question, robin. well,"

• sometimes you both flip through those "who would win" nature magazines and place your bets

• "the hippopotamus would definitely beat the rhino! they're quite vicious, you know."

• scaring your fellow crewmates by hiding under the hammock (you) and grabbing usopp's arms

• robin, of course, made hands to grab the remaining legs

• giggling and running back to robin as usopp screams in horror

• settling into bed as she makes arms to rub comforting circles into your back, arms, and legs.

• drifting off to sleep as the smell of book pages and lavender lull you

boa hancock

• a night in with hancock is actually much more common than expected.

• rarely does she ever leave the palace with you to favor a night on amazon lily's markets

• her pampering may be on par with nami's. she's an empress after all, and you're her consort.

• the two of you first take a luxurious bath with all kinds of bath salts, creams, scrubs, and shampoos.

• her products are strictly lily scented, it smells so much like her

• her long fingers gently working into your hair to fully cleanse and nourish it, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

• getting out of the bath to be dressed in a beautiful draping bathrobe, and being escorted to her room.

• trays of all of your favorite foods laid across the table in front of a loveseat

• the both of you taking turns feeding each other fruits, giggling like schoolgirls when juice runs down the other's lip

• "my! i think you have something on your face!" she chuckles and blushes, reaching out a hand to swipe at your lip

• having a couple's massage in the palace, hands entwined as you both relax parallel to each other

• climbing onto her lap as she lounges on her snake, salome. she's so warm and smells so sickly sweet of lilies and honey.

• drifting off to sleep in each other's arms, with salome loosely coiled around the two of you like a weighted blanket

nefertari vivi

• as much as vivi loves having a night out in alabasta's markets, a palace date suffices

• you better believe you're getting the princess treatment by the princess herself!!

• doing each other's hair in her room with karoo softly snoring on the bed

• feeling her silky smooth blue locks between your fingers as you style her hair

• being caught giggling and gossiping by igaram when he enters the room to drop off a tray of assorted fruits and snacks

• going out to the palace garden to watch the pigeons and doves as vivi tells you about her journeys with the strawhats

• a beautiful dove landing on your lap as she finished up her story, cooing as you scratch behind it's head

• "hey, this one looks like you."

• trying on her beautiful gowns, and her spinning you in the mirror to look

• heading out to the palace's pool to swim with the spot-billed duck troops

• splashing vivi, which results in you getting splashed tenfold

• drying off in robes as the two of you get ready for bed

• drifting off to sleep with her arms around you, karoo snoring softly at the foot of the bed

tashigi

• a night in is usually what the two of you get up to, considering there isn't much to do on marine bases

• smoker has no problem letting her take the night off

• heading to the marine mess hall to grab some coffees and pastries

• her letting you grab a sip of her hot coffee, and getting concerned when you flinch back

• "s'way too hot, tashigi!" ... "oh, oops!"

• letting her rant to you about swords and katanas, her flipping through a sword magazine and showing the ones she has circled in red marker

• sparring each other with wooden sticks, which she beats you at, landing you on your back

• tashigi then promptly falling clumsily right on top of you, glasses slipping off of her nose

• you pushing her glasses back up and giggling, which earns you a pouty and completely red in the face tashigi

• helping her clean her collection of blades, some of which were confiscated from pirates deemed unworthy of holding a sword

• "wow so this one belonged to someone from baroque works?" .. "yup!" she beams, blushing

• settling into bed with her as she takes off her glasses to sleep

•cradling her head against your chest as you both drift off to slumber

[littlemisshyperfixation]

Hoshi Fic Recommendations

a - angst f - fluff s - smut

One Shots

What? Like It's Hard? (f a) by @starsstuddedsky ✩♬ ₊˚. With the help of a little bit of bleach, Soonyoung is certified legally blonde–complete to last minute-dedication to scoring as high as Elle Woods on the LSAT. While he has no interest in law school, he’s notorious for never turning down a dare. So how does a frat bro in serious danger of failing his senior year get a 179? He asks the smartest person he knows. 

The thing about love (a f) by @gyuswhore ✩♬ ₊˚. The slap you sent across Kwon Soonyoung’s face sent a reverberating sound across the dance studio. He looks up, eyes bloodshot and swimming with fury. There’s a hint of a smile on his face for some reason, which you realize may be out of disbelief. You don’t register anything else other than the rage that accelerates down your own veins. There’s a part of you that wants to do it again when he utters his next words.

“That was a bad fucking idea”

driving lessons for dummies (f s) by @shuaflix ✩♬ ₊˚. ❝ i can't parallel park, but i know all the lyrics to 'driver's license' by olivia rodrigo now. ❞

Main Thing (s) by @hannieehaee ✩♬ ₊˚. after years of insistence from soonyoung, he finally convinces resident social butterfly seungkwan to introduce him to his unrequited crush; a fellow idol at hybe who he has not been able to take his eyes off since moving to the company.

high-rise (s) by @sluttywonwoo ✩♬ ₊˚. walking around your apartment naked has never been a problem, since you live in a high-rise and no one can see in, at least that’s what you thought…

vowels and veracity (f s) by @hansolmates ✩♬ ₊˚. after a blind date that makes you feel like a giddy teenager all over again, you’re forced to grow up and take a chance when you realize that special someone is your daughter’s kindergarten teacher.

Bluff and Nonsense (a) by @thepixelelf ✩♬ ₊˚. “Soonyoung? Yeah I know him, you should too. He’s on the uni’s dance crew, and ever since he joined them, their popularity’s skyrocketed. I’ve met him a few times, great guy — got a tendency to run his mouth but hey, no one’s perfect. He’s smart anyways, probably knows how to deal with the consequences, right?”

sweatshirt season (s f) by @eoieopda ✩♬ ₊˚. your fuck buddy is good at a lot of things. taking hints isn’t one of them.

warm (s) by @cheolism ✩♬ ₊˚. you are so warm beneath the blankets and, like a moth drawn to a flame, soonyoung was helpless to resist your body.

charity f*ck (s) by @ncteez ✩♬ ₊˚. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity before? Well, yeah, your first time was both losing your own and taking someone else’s but, that was a long time ago. Have you ever taken the virginity of a twenty-six-year-old man who probably should have gotten laid by now anyway? Nope. Are you about to? Yep.

crazy stupid love (s f) by @toruro ✩♬ ₊˚. your best friend, turned fuck buddy, seems a little too upset about your latest instagram post ...

good influence (s) by @cheolism ✩♬ ₊˚. slowly soonyoung begins to influence you into making some questionable decisions

Delicate (f) by @idyllic-ghost ✩♬ ₊˚. You've been friends since he could remember, and since that summer night last year it's been different - you can both feel it. So why is it so hard to just say it?

worth it (f) by @fallinnflower

best friend hoshi (s) by @97-liners

7PM (s) (ft. seokmin and seungkwan) by @onlymingyus

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Shades of Grey || CL16 {1}

Summary: You may be the newest F1 driver for Williams but you have known Charles since your karting years. Being rival drivers never changed the fact he was your friend and would always look out for you, on and off the track. The only problem was you wished you could be more than friends. Warnings: 18+ only, reader injuries, angst. Word Count: 2k

F1 Masterlist || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Spotify Playlist

Adrenaline was always running through your veins the night before a race. It was the same explosive mix of brimming excitement laced with a hint of fear. So when the track was closed and the flood lights went dark you would quietly leave your motorhome and walk the grid. 

The silence was peaceful in a way that couldn’t be found at any other time. 3am was like a parallel universe where all the distractions and worries were lost to the stars above. You were in a world of your own.

“You should be sleeping,” Charles said as he looked down where you lay under the starting lights. 

You hadn’t even heard his footsteps approaching as you imagined the track, your fingers twitching with the memory of its banks and turns. Though it was cold asphalt beneath you, it was the memory of the moulded seat that you felt against your thin clothes. 

As the first and only female driver there was a pressure that the other drivers would never feel. You had to fight for not just your position but for all the future female drivers who aspired to race in Formula One. If you didn’t meet the expectations then it wasn’t just your future at stake and you felt the weight of that every time you sat in the car. It drove you to push harder and test the limits of the car, it drove you to practise more than the other drivers. 

You were pulled from your thoughts and looked up the length of his body. You took in everything from the loose grey sweatpants to the plain white t-shirt and then to the eyes that had been witness to your greatest and worst moments. 

“Lie down,” you said as you patted the cold ground beside you. “It’ll be like old times.”

“We’ve come a long way since F3.” Despite the words, he laid down beside you and you laced your hand with his. He had always let you take comfort in the touch since he knew how nervous you got, even after years of racing. Those nerves had only increased after your recent debut into Formula One. 

“Does it get easier?” you asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of the night. 

You looked across at him, the moonlight illuminating his eyes that seemed torn between wanting to calm you and wanting to be honest. “It doesn’t get harder.”

You lost yourself in his eyes and remembered dreaming of a time when you thought the friendship might be more. That dream had slipped away as his career took off and yours remained the same. Your paths had no longer crossed often but you had still tried to keep in touch despite the newfound distance. If friendship was all you could have then you would take it if the alternative was having nothing. But you would always ask yourself ‘what if’.

“You’ll catch a cold lying down here all night,” Charles said, cleaving through the moment and shaking you from your daydream. “Vamos.” You groaned but let him pull you to your feet and he slung his arm over your shoulders. “Can’t have you anything but your best for tomorrow.”

“Maybe it will be the day I finally beat you.”

Charles chuckled. “Would I still have to be your slave for a week?”

You laughed at the reminder of the challenge that had been set years ago and shook your head. “I wouldn’t know what to do with you for a whole week.”

He looked down the corner of his eye at you and his lips twitched up. “I’m sure you’d think of something.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the deepening in his tone and the way he swallowed afterwards like the words were thick with meaning. Were you reading too far into it? Was it just hope leading you to misunderstand the innocent statement? 

You would never be brave enough to ask him and risk making a fool of yourself, so you parted ways when you reached your motorhome. 

“Goodnight, Charles,” you murmured as you reached the first step and turned, the added height leaving you eye to eye.

He leaned in slowly and you froze as his cologne infused with the air you breathed before his warm lips pressed softly to your cheek. “Goodnight, Y/N. Sweet dreams.”

You hated starting towards the back of the grid but there was only so much you could do with a car that didn’t have a big budget like some of the other teams. Still, Williams had given you an opportunity no other team had so you would make the best of it. 

The first light turned red and you began your starting sequence. At lights out the world faded away. There was no one and nothing but four wheels and the track. 

Accelerate, brake, turn, repeat.

Your pace was strong but it wasn’t enough and though you overtook a McLaren, an AlphaTauri and a Hass, the leaders were coming from behind to lap you. You kept aside on the straights, letting Max, Lewis and Checo overtake with their DRS that you couldn’t match and then a familiar red Ferrari appeared in your mirrors. 

The last straight of the lap was coming to an end but Charles moved to take the outside and you spared a glance as he passed. You swore he looked right back at you despite the concentration he needed to keep on the tight corner he was entering. 

It all happened so quickly but on the contrary time seemed to slow down. 

You turned your steering wheel into the corner and felt the tension pop as the entire console dislodged from the locking system that held it in place. The corner was rapidly closing and you were stuck on a collision course towards the barrier with a console that wouldn’t click back into place. You slammed your foot on the brake and all four wheels locked, tread burning plumes of smoke as the friction melted the rubber.

Charles turned into the corner and you begged the universe to let him pass before you reached him. A shudder rippled through the chassis as your front wing clipped his back tire and a new fear gripped you as he spun back around to face you. For a moment you were face to face and his gloved hand reached above the halo as if he could save you from what was to come. 

You took comfort in that small gesture and crossed your arms over your harness to brace for impact. 

Weightlessness washed over you as the car hit the gravel side on and the right hand tires dug in, the shift in the mass lifting the left hand wheels off the ground. Pain exploded through you as the entire weight of the car slammed down into the gravel and flipped too many times to count. 

Sky. Gravel. Sky. Gravel. Sky. Grass. Sky.

Your radio crackled in your ear as the world stopped spinning and you stared up at the blue sky over Imola. “Are you okay?”

The taste of copper filled your mouth and when you tried to speak only a pained wheeze came out. You couldn’t understand what was happening as the sky turned grey, the sunlight fading before your eyes. 

“Y/N!” 

You could hear Charles screaming over the ringing in your ears but you couldn’t answer him, though you desperately tried to. It was getting harder to breathe through the bubbling in your chest and the little air you could pull was laced with smoke and fumes. 

You looked up at the grey sky again and felt the sudden heat against your back. Not clouds. Smoke. 

You reached for the harness and screamed through the pain of trying to unbuckle them with the ribs that were undoubtedly broken. 

“Let me go!” Charles screamed. “Help her!” 

The heat was unbearable even with the fireproofs and there was a moment where the world seemed to fall silent, like the very air had frozen still. The bubble burst out in a shockwave. White hot light flashed blindingly bright and in an instant the pain was gone. 

The track was empty and the debris had long since been cleared. The only reminder of the horrific crash were the deep gouges in the grass verge and the damaged concrete wall that had stopped you going any further. 

You didn’t belong here. You didn’t belong in this black and white world, this place where all the colour had faded away like a photograph left in the sun. Where you had once seen the world in vibrant blues, lively greens and…Ferrari red, it was all now shades of grey.

Was this the end? Was this how your eternity would be spent, anchored to the last place you remembered?

“Happy Birthday.” A quiet voice broke your revelry and a moment of warmth filled you as he unknowingly stepped through the spot you stood. A shiver went down his spine and the petals of the bouquet he held trembled before he placed them on the scorch marks that stained the concrete wall. 

Your birthday? How much time had passed while you stood rooted to the track?

“I’m sorry it took so long to visit.” He sank to his knees on the grass, not caring about the mud that stained his jeans as he dropped his head in his hands. “I miss you.” 

You wished you could ease his pain but the hand you placed on his shoulder went right through. Arthur’s didn’t though, and you watched as his brother comforted him in a way you no longer could. 

“I miss you too,” you whispered to the wind that picked up down the straight. 

“She was so nervous before the race. What if she felt something was going to go wrong? What if I missed something?”

“Charles, you can’t beat yourself up wondering ‘what if’. It was an accident, and it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow but they happen,” Arthur said as he sat beside his older brother. “You’ve read the report, the steering console malfunctioned.”

“Arthur’s right,” Pierre said as he arrived with his own bouquet of flowers, placing them beside Charles’. “There was nothing anyone could have done.”

Charles sighed with defeat and seemed to shrink in upon himself as he plucked out the black blades of grass. “I could have told her how I felt. I always thought we would have time, I always thought I would have her.”

Your soul shattered at his admission and if you could cry in this state the track would have become an ocean. All those years wasted when if you had just told him how you felt you would have found out he felt the same. 

You would give anything to have that time back.

“You’re talking like she’s dead already,” Pierre snapped and you jerked your head around to him. “There’s still a chance she could wake up.”

Charles scrambled to his feet and the agony in his eyes nearly drove you to your knees. “Shut the fuck up!”

Charles ran his hands through his hair and tugged at the stands until he screamed to the heavens above. Birds erupted from the treelines and took flight at the piercing sound but Pierre just shook his head sadly.

He didn’t want to have hope. He didn’t want to be shattered by it again.

“She’s not Jules, Charles,” Pierre said, flinching when his friend glared at him. “Just go visit her, if anyone can bring her back it’s you.”

Charles turned his back and started to walk away without a goodbye and you took a step without realising it, then another. The invisible anchor that had kept you trapped at the crash site untethered from your feet and you were able to follow Charles. 

He paused beneath the starting line and looked up at the lights you had laid beneath. Gone were the stars that you could wish upon, now only dark grey clouds remained.

“If anyone up there is listening, I could really do with a miracle, or a sign, or anything. Just something. Please.” His voice broke and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve before sniffing and departing the grid.

Click here for part two.

[freak-accident419]

depollute me, gentle angel

Billy (Burn 2019) x GN!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: It’s been days ever since the incident at Paradise Pumps. Days ever since Melinda. Days ever since Billy ran into your arms immediately after coming back home. They say time heals all wounds. But they’re never really truly gone.

Requested by: @roarsaurus

Word Count: 2.7k

Content: TW: implication of past SA, Billy gets triggered, fluff, angst, cuddling, affirmations, “passenger princess” used in a gender-neutral way, kissing, attempted/interrupted sex

(A/n: I tried my absolute best to approach this topic delicately with respect and sensitivity. My intention is not to romanticize or glamorize this topic, or offend or disrespect anybody, but to tell a story.)

“(Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream)

Depollute me, gentle angel

And I’ll feel the sickness less and less”

-

The soft, amber glow of the morning sun had leaked through the blinds warmly, the parallel arrangement of light gently soaking into the blanket that was covering you and Billy. Your eyes gradually fluttered open as you awoke in the early morning, your vision finally focusing to see the love of your life in front of you.

He looked so beautiful. Gorgeously peaceful as he slept. He deserved it, after all. You heard his soft, quiet breaths and just laid there, admiring him. But then he started to stir into his sleep, beginning to wake up alongside you.

As his eyes opened, a smile was immediately formed through the precious curl of his lips. He was so, so beautiful. His gentle brown eyes bored into yours so very lovingly, and that smile only proved his deep, smitten love for you further.

He inhales softly, eyes closing once more as he was still seemingly tired, yet he let one of his hands grasp onto yours, holding it tenderly. “Good morning,” Billy mumbles sleepily as he rubbed across your fingers with his thumb in a soothing back and forth motion.

“Morning,” you reply in a soft, silent tone that mirrored his. You felt warm just from his touch and the calming, delicate atmosphere that embraced you.

His eyes slowly opened once again, finally becoming completely aware in your presence, as another wide smile appeared on his lips from the mere second he laid his eyes upon your face. A soft, low chuckle escaped his mouth, under his breath. “Sleep well?” He asked sweetly, examining your expression.

“Mm-hm,” you hum soothingly, ultimately comforting him with your lulling voice.

“That’s good,” he replies quietly with contentment. You could still tell that he was fairly drowsy through his tired voice, trying to wake up, but it only made you admire this moment even more.

“What about you?” You question, raising an eyebrow. As Billy thought of his answer, he brought your hand to his lips and planted gentle, soft kisses on it, kissing the back of your hand, each finger, your palm, and your wrist.

“Good,” he answers, holding your hand close to himself.

“You awake yet?” You chuckle softly, which emitted a snicker from him as well.

Billy closes his eyes to yawn, and they continued to stay closed as a giddy smile was plastered on his face. “Yeah, I’m getting there,” he mutters, gripping onto your hand tighter, then pressing another kiss onto the back of it.

“You sure?” You ask gently, looking down at his closed eyelids and dreamy grin. “Doesn’t look like it. You could always go back to sleep.”

“Mmm,” he hums lowly, eyes still shut as he rubbed the skin of your hand with his thumb. “Nah, don’t worry. I’m getting up.”

His eyes fluttered open for the second time and the two of you just gazed at each other. Billy was so fascinatingly beautiful. Seeing him up close, seeing the whirlpool of burnt umber in his eyes, seeing his pupils patiently dilate, seeing the very faint stubble on his face, and seeing the subdued freckles across his nose… it amazed you. He was so achingly gorgeous.

You moved your head towards him and kissed the soft smile on his lips, delicately bringing your hand to the back of his neck, making it’s way up to the healed burns on the side of his face, and cupped his jaw. Once your lips pulled away from his, you giggled sweetly, looking at him closely.

“Hey,” you whisper quietly, your hand still cupping his face while his hand lightly held onto your wrist. “I love you, Billy.”

He looks at you with utter infatuation. He could never get over hearing you say that to him. “I love you too.”

You pecked his lips after, before shifting your position on the mattress, sitting up against the bed frame, and looked down at him. Billy yawns again, until he finally got up to sit beside you.

“You finally awake?” You ask, smirking lightly at him.

“Yeah,” he answered, nodding.

The faint sun rays through the window, peeking through the blinds, were now burning against the two of you with its parallel lines. The light on Billy’s eyes revealed the warm, lighter shade of hazel, which you adored intensely.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You inquire, lightly biting your pinky nail in thought. “We can go get breakfast at this diner… I saw it when we were driving here, we could stop there before we hit the road again.”

Ever since the incident, you two had made it your goal to drive from upstate New York to Wyoming. It brought several restless nights, motel stays, and even shoplifting to your daily routine.

In the first week he came back to you from his attempted gas station robbery, Billy was slightly distant. He didn’t tell you much about what had happened. But by the second week, he finally opened up to you. Your heart nearly shattered as you found out what happened to him. A part of you wished that he took you with him, but he insisted at the time, saying how dangerous it would be—especially if he encountered the biker gang. Yet a part of you also believed that you should’ve came with him anyway, that you failed him because of it, that you couldn’t keep him safe in that moment. But right now, all you could think of was how grateful you were for Billy being safe and alive, coming back to you, his home.

He pursed his lips, briefly thinking of your proposal. “Yeah. Yeah, we can do that,” he smiles softly at you. In the first week he came back, he also barely ever smiled or laughed. So seeing him genuinely smile meant a lot to you.

“Yeah?” You chuckle, a grin creeping on the corner of your lips.

“Yeah.”

Billy stares at you for a while, essentially gazing at your face. He was mesmerized by your eyes, getting lost into them until he noticed every detail, every eyelash. He watched you blink softly, as your eyelashes fluttered and brushed against your skin. The longer he looked at you, the warmer he felt inside. Like he was safe. You noticed his prolonged staring, and laughed softly to yourself. “What? What is it? Do I—Do I have something on my face?”

Billy only grins warmly at your words, chuckling softly under his breath. “No, uh… You’re just…” He shakes his head. “You are so beautiful, Y/n.”

And in this moment, you could barely form your appreciation in words, so instead, your lips pressed onto his, kissing him deeply and expressing your love for him. “You’re adorable,” you snicker lowly after a scoff.

The kiss progresses, and Billy’s hand cupped the back of your neck, bringing his lips to your throat, kissing the skin all around it. You giggle from the ticklish sensations and moved your head up to give him more access as he kissed and sucked at your neck. You bit your lip and let out a small hum as he nibbled, sucking longer on some areas.

“Oh, you’re definitely awake now,” you chuckle, letting a hand reach the back of his head to rub his hair.

“Thought I already told you,” he mumbled before crashing his lips onto yours once again, letting his tongue run against your bottom lip before parting them. He tasted sweet against your tongue, making you feel giddy inside.

“Yeah, but you always say that and then fall back asleep,” you retort playfully in between soft kisses. He pulls his lips away from yours and lets his hands rub your waist under your shirt before pulling it off of you. You realized that this was the first time he initiated anything in this sense ever since the gas station. He was making progress, you noted, and ultimately, you were so proud of him.

“Yeah, well,” he snickers, pressing his lips to yours once more, “you try driving from New York to Wyoming.”

Your kisses against his lips came to a halt as you slapped his shoulder playfully. “Hey, I drive too!”

“Only sometimes,” he remarks, pulling his own shirt off then chasing your lips for another kiss. “You’re literally a passenger princess, baby.”

“So what if I am?” You retort with a wide, amused grin.

The two of you make out on the bed, feeling his hands run up and down the bare skin of your waist, fingers teasing the waistband of your pants. Kissing him softly, your hand reaches down to his waist, then further down, tugging on his pants and—

“Wait,” he whimpers.

Billy was very stiff, and his hand was instantly grasped onto your wrist, stopping you from pulling his pants down. Your face backs up away from his to look at him and observe his actions. His head was looking down shamefully, and you immediately pulled your hand away from his pants. Terrible flashbacks invaded his mind for a split, horrifying second: darkness, restraint, and fear. His feelings of being used, being exposed, his devastating helplessness.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, shaking his head slowly. “I can’t, I’m sorry, I—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” you stutter out, cupping his face gently. “Hey… It’s okay.”

“No… No, it’s not, I—I really thought I was ready, but… but then I felt you tug on my pants, and all I could think about was….” He trailed off lamentably, and you saw the sheer pain in his glassy eyes and through his frown.

“Hey, no, if anyone’s sorry, it should be me, Billy, okay?” Your brought his face closer up to yours with your hands.

“I really wanted to try. For you…. a-and for me. I really thought I was ready this time, b-but—”

“Hey,” you say softly, yet loudly, instantly grounding him. “You at least tried, and you’ve made so much progress, and I am so proud of you, Billy.” You find his shirt that was on the mattress and put it back on him, doing the same with your own clothes afterwards. “It’s okay. We can just lay here, alright?” He nods quietly. “Is it okay if I touch you here?” You gestured to his arms and shoulders. He nodded, humming a yes. But that wasn’t enough for you. “Words, please, honey.”

“Yes,” he replies in a murmur, which granted you to pull him against you in a hug, cradling his head. Billy sniffles and hearing that broke your heart. “I actually thought I was ready.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, okay? You don’t have to be ready immediately, you can take your time. It’s alright, it’s okay,” you console swiftly, rubbing his hair gently. “We don’t have to do anything.”

The room was completely silent, except for Billy’s faint sniffles, contrasting from the moments of before. “I… I just… I don’t know.”

You frown, beginning to caress his hair with your fingers. “It wasn’t your fault,” you whisper urgently. It was important for him to know that, to believe it. “Nothing was and it never will be. You didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t be sorry for anything.”

He stays quiet for a while. He felt so small in your arms.

“You’re safe now, okay? You’re here with me. I would never do anything you didn’t want, okay? Whenever you’re ready, I’ll wait for you,” you reassure him, letting his soft, brown strands tickle your fingertips.

“I feel like I’m always gonna be like this, react like this,” he mutters painfully. “I feel like I’m broken.”

“No, Billy, you’re not—”

“I am,” his voice cracks, and you only cradle his head closer in your neck. He felt like there was something wrong with him ever since. He couldn’t do this for you and he felt horrible. “Things are just never going to be like they were before, back to normal, and-and we-we can’t—”

“You’re still you,” you cooed softly, stroking his hair gently as his head rested on your chest. “Anyone who would have experienced what you experienced would feel the same way. Scared… hurt… Hey. I love you, okay? You’re safe, you’re safe now. Nobody’s gonna hurt you anymore.”

“I… I can’t be what you need. I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey, no… no…” You continued to caress his hairline, watching his eyes stare into oblivion. “You deserve me as much as I deserve you, okay? Only you are what I need. Nothing else from you, just you. I’ll love you for anything you are. I’ll always be patient with you. Sex barely defines our love. I’ll wait for you, I’ll be here. Whatever you need, tell me. I’m here for you, I’m always here for you.”

Billy sighs softly. “Please, just… just don’t leave me,” he whimpers desperately.

“Never,” you immediately reply. “I’ll be beside you the whole time, okay? We’ll get through this together, my love.”

He nods silently in response.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you repeated in a whisper.

He pauses for a while. “I know.”

But did he?

You continued stroking his head, whispering affirmations and words of reassurance. His eyes were closed and he indulged in your sweet touch. He had felt so polluted, but your soft caress and affectionate mutters made him feel clean. He felt so sick the more he thought of the incident at Paradise Pumps, but your presence calmed him down like a remedy. You were there to support him. And of course your goal wasn’t to “fix” him—after all, he wasn’t ever broken to begin with. As you said, he was still him. And what happened to him, shouldn’t have happened to him.

You thought you should distract him from any more memories he’s had, so you kiss his forehead lightly and spoke to him serenely. “You know, the diner I mentioned? I saw, like, a pretty big sign advertising, like, blueberry pancakes.”

“Oh yeah?” He mumbles softly.

“Yeah. Your favorite,” you hum. “How about… I drive us there as soon as we’re fully up… and you can get those ‘deluxe’ pancakes. I know we have to save money and we said before that we shouldn’t spend too much on leisure, but… it’s my treat for you, alright? We can always, like, pickpocket shitty rich guys. Sound good, love?”

The way you talked to him had warmed his heart. He felt so comfortable, so safe. He knew you’d never hurt him, never terrify him. And not only that, but he felt loved. So loved, like never before. Your efforts to distract him from his pain with tranquility had subsequently calmed him down.

“That’d be amazing, angel,” he says with a clearer voice this time, head proceeding to lay on your chest. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby. I love you so much, okay? And maybe you can be the passenger princess for today, yeah?” You offer, moving your hand to rub his cheek softly with your thumb, feeling his warm skin against it.

“Oh, god, you’re gonna kill us both if you drive on the freeway,” he jokes with a tired chuckle, making you smile to yourself. You were glad to hear him joke after this, glad to hear him laugh.

“Hey, that’s why I don’t drive us often, so don’t complain about me being the passenger princess all the time,” you retort playfully, yet kissing the top of his head twice.

“Whatever,” he mumbles sweetly. His head was laid onto your chest and he could hear the steady, constant heartbeats that belonged to you. It comforted him. Your existence, your aliveness, your presence. The fact that you were there with him, that he was with you, reminded him that he was going to be okay, as long as you were there with him.

He loved listening to the sound of your heartbeat; trying to sync his own breaths and pulse with yours as he laid on you gently. The sun was brighter through the blinds, a soft yellow-orange now occupying the warm motel room.

“I love you so much,” he finally says, realizing that he forgot to say it back from all the previous banter. You affectionately kiss the top of his head again in response.

Billy didn’t want to think about anything more. He just wanted to be held, to feel loved, and you granted him that. He wanted to feel everything, to hear everything in this moment. Your delicate fingertips against his head and face, caressing him gently as he hears your soft breaths and whispers of affection. And so, all of this confirmed one thing: it was going to be okay.

He was going to be okay.

-

April is S.A. Awareness and Prevention month: please don’t be afraid to ask for help.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Resources

If anybody needs to hear this: It wasn’t your fault.