#best food slicer

[bestpickme]

Electric Food Slicer: "You Won't BELIEVE What Our Top 5 Electric Food Sl...

[sise717]

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Vegetable Chopper Pro 13-in-1 Review: The Ultimate Kitchen Gadget

Cooking can be a delightful experience, but the prep work often feels like a chore. Enter the Vegetable Chopper Pro 13-in-1, a multifunctional kitchen tool designed to streamline your food preparation. From dicing onions to slicing carrots, this chopper does it all, making it an essential gadget for any kitchen.

Superior Quality and Durability

The Vegetable Chopper Pro is crafted with high-quality stainless steel blades and food-grade materials. This ensures not only durability but also safety in your kitchen. The rust-resistant 420 stainless steel maintains sharp edges for precise cuts, whether you are slicing, dicing, or grating. The robustness of the materials means this chopper is built to last, promising you long-term use without compromising on performance.

Versatile and Multifunctional

What sets this chopper apart is its 8 interchangeable blades. These blades cater to various slicing and dicing needs:

Thick/Thin Slicing

Dicing or Chunking

Shredding

Grating

Grinding

Switching between blades is effortless, allowing you to tackle any recipe with ease. Whether you're preparing a fresh salad, mincing garlic for a sauce, or slicing fruits for a snack, this chopper can handle it all.

Innovative Design

The innovative design of this vegetable chopper includes a built-in cutting lid that lets you chop food directly into a 1.2L container. This feature eliminates the need for a separate cutting board and knife, reducing countertop clutter and preventing food from sliding off during preparation. The chopper's compact size also ensures it can be stored easily, even in kitchens with limited space.

Cleaning up is a breeze thanks to the included scrubbing fork, which allows you to clean the blades and container in minutes. This practical design enhances not only the convenience but also the safety of your cooking experience.

Health Benefits and Time-Saving

One of the significant advantages of the Vegetable Chopper Pro is the time it saves in the kitchen. Chopping, mincing, and slicing ingredients like tomatoes, onions, and garlic can be done in a fraction of the time, making meal prep more efficient. This encourages you to add more vegetables to your diet, promoting healthier eating habits for you and your family.

Lifetime Warranty

The Vegetable Chopper Pro 13-in-1 comes with a lifetime warranty. The manufacturer, MAIPOR, stands by the quality of their product, offering replacements or full refunds if you are not satisfied. This commitment to customer satisfaction ensures you can purchase with confidence, knowing that you are investing in a reliable and durable kitchen tool.

Conclusion

The Vegetable Chopper Pro 13-in-1 is a versatile, high-quality kitchen gadget that simplifies food preparation. Its durable construction, innovative design, and multifunctional capabilities make it a must-have for anyone looking to save time in the kitchen while promoting healthier eating habits. With the added assurance of a lifetime warranty, this chopper is undoubtedly a worthwhile investment for any home cook.

Product Highlights

8 Interchangeable Blades for various cutting needs

High-Quality Stainless Steel Blades for durability and sharpness

1.2L Food Container to reduce mess and clutter

Easy to Clean with included scrubbing fork

Compact and Innovative Design for efficient storage and use

Lifetime Warranty ensuring customer satisfaction

Invest in the Vegetable Chopper Pro 13-in-1 today and transform your kitchen experience!

[bestsellersfromamazon]

10 Must-Have Kitchen Gadgets to Simplify Your Cooking Routine

Cooking at home can be incredibly rewarding, but let’s be honest, it can also feel like a bit of a chore without the right tools. Whether you’re a seasoned chef or just starting out in the kitchen, having the right gadgets can make all the difference. Here are ten must-have kitchen gadgets that have transformed my cooking routine and can do the same for you. 1. Instant Pot I was skeptical about…

[elbeetbetak]

Sinbo 13 in 1 multi-function food slicer, onion slicer, vegetable slicer, vegetable slicer

100% brand new,the onion vegetable chopper dicer is made of high quality ABS plastic material, last-long. For better using performance,we adopt the ultra-sharp 420-grade hardened stainless steel blades for chopping/dicing hard vegetables.Heavy-duty stainless steel blades are sharp enough to cut most kinds of vegetables and fruits. “Buy now and enjoy a shopping experience that oozes quality and comfort!”

[awriterinthenight]

"You're bloody brilliant" Part 1

words: 1341

requested: anonymous

warnings: A Slicer slicing their arm open, so injury I guess, I think that's it, also this was written at 3 separate times, so sorry if it a bit disjointed

summary: You're the first girl in the Glade and are a med-jack. You're really smart and learn how to use certain plants to help injuries. Newt is completely entranced by you and how smart you are, but neither of you can see how much you two are falling for each other

You'd been the greenie for only 2 weeks now, and it was starting to get annoying. Being the only girl did mean some special perks, like having your own room in the homestead which no one but you and a couple others could access, half of the Glade ignored you since they weren't interested, and mostly you were able to bargain with Frypan for extra food.

Through all of the perks, there were some negatives. Mostly that if they weren't ignoring you, they super into you, which you hated, or the fact that most people underestimated you. You got the job of being a med-jack, which was pretty exciting. Except, that some of the boys only got hurt just to visit you, or would rather not get treated by a girl.

It was a slow day, for once not many people had injured themself on purpose. This was most likely due to Alby yelling at Gladers, since they started getting injured more, hindering work. You'd been reading a book on certain herbs and what they can do to help people. When the book came up in the box you immediately took it and started to read it.

Being able to be alone was one of the best things usually, but so was being with some of the Gladers. For example, you and Minho had grown a close friendship that mostly came from both being overly sarcastic. Chuck was like a little brother to you, and Alby was basically a saint for putting up with you, and Clint and Jeff weren't horrible either.

Newt was an entirely different topic though. Newt was the person you felt truly safe around. The Second-in-Command was nothing short of perfect to you. If he had any extra food he gave it to you, or if you were working late he stole some food after begging Frypan to give him extra to bring to you. He became the only person you wouldn't kick out of the med-hut when he would hangout in there to be with you.

You were one of the only people he never yelled at, or got annoyed by. He would spend most of his days with you whenever he was free. Newt liked to watch you work too. He admired how quickly you became amazingly good at your job. You were incredibly smart which seemed to be one of the main things Newt was desperately attracted to.

Just as you flipped the page the door to the med-hut opened, revealing none other than the man himself.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping Alby?" You questioned, not looking up from your book.

He smiled at you moving to stand in front of you from where you sat, "Alby will be fine for a little bit," he said, grabbing the book from your hands, making sure to mark where you had left off, "Besides, it's lunchtime and you haven't left the bloody med-hut all day."

You reach for the book, pouting a bit when he holds it away from you. You stand up now face to face with him, "Well I do have this thing called a job, unlike someone," you tease, reaching for your book again, but ultimately failing.

"Mhmm, yet you were reading," he turns the book to read the title, "'Herbs and Their Medicinal Uses' doesn't really sound like you were doing your job, and as your Second-in-Command I'm very disappointed in you," he teased, his radiant smile not leaving his face.

You could feel yourself holding back a smile at his teasing, "As my Second-in-Command I don't think you're setting a great example for me by skipping work to hangout with me in the med-hut," you retorted, crossing your arms.

"You can kick me out at any time, you know that," he teases, moving to place his free hand on your waist. Usually you hated when people touched you, but it was different with him. His touch made you feel more relaxed, safe even.

"As annoying as you are, I'd never kick you out," you said, feeling yourself relax into his touch.

Newt put the book back down on the counter, "Come on, why don't we go get some lunch, then you can get back to reading your riveting book," he offered, grabbing your hand to exit the med-hut,

***

Today didn't start out the best. Apparently a Slicer accidentally let his knife slip out of his grip and ended up slicing another Slicer's arm open. The wound was pretty deep and bleeding fast.

You were mixing up a solution of plants that would help to soothe the pain, since you were going to have to stitch it up. Whilst combining all of the ingredients Newt walked into the hut.

"Afternoon, darling, what are you-" Newt cut himself off once he saw the Slicer holding a bloody cloth against his arm.

"Sorry Newt, I'm busy right now, so please stay out of my way for once," you snapped at him, not meaning to, but just stressed from the situation.

Newt was shocked by you, but understood you were stressed out currently, so he nodded, and sat down quietly as he watched you work. You had the Slicer drink the concoction you made, which did seem to reduce the pain. He still squirmed a bit and let out some painful cries as you stitched him up. Soon he passed out from the adrenaline and pain most likely.

Newt was amazed by how good you were at your job. You made everything look so easy, as if tending to a person's wounds was nothing but natural to you. This made Newt somehow admire you even more than he originally did.

After washing the blood off of your hands you walked over to where Newt was sitting, and sat next to him, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, I was just stressed."

"It's okay darling. Watching you work was amazing, especially that solution thing you made. Was that from one of your books?" he asked, stilled in awe of how smart and amazing you were.

You nodded, "You're bloody brilliant, you know that," he said, wrapping his arm around you, since you looked a bit tired.

You shrugged, unsure what to do about the praise, "It wasn't that hard to figure out. I'm pretty you could too if you tried," you said, trying to brush it off as if it was nothing.

"You deserve more credit darling, and I would probably make the person even more sick. You did amazing, you should be proud," he told you. You could feel your head fall and eyelids start to close as Newt was talking, "Are you tired, darling?"

You nodded. trying to sit up a bit more, "I guess being a genius makes you tired," you joked, stretching out a bit.

Newt let out a small breathy laugh, "Why don't you head to your room and take a nap. I'll watch the Slicer and I'll get Clint and Jeff if needed," he insisted, pushing for you to go get some rest. Newt knew it wasn't just today making you tired. You had spent a few late nights reading your medical books.

You went to protest, but Newt stopped you, "No, no arguing, I'm you Second-in-Command, and I say you need to take a nap. We can't have a med-jack falling asleep on the job now can we," Newt joked, "I'll make sure he's fine, please go get some rest."

You let out a long sigh, "Fine, but only because I'm really tired," you said, getting up and heading towards the door.

"Bye darling," Newt called out as you left the med-hut. Newt sat in the silence, sad to see you leave, but happy to see you get the rest you needed. Everyday Newt was falling more and more in love with you, and today was no exception.

Newt was falling for you hard and there was nothing for him to stop it. You were also falling for him, or already had, but just haven't realised it yet.

(Ask to be added to taglist)

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Ortho Shroud - Apprentice Chef Vignette

"Master Chef"

[Cafeteria – Judging Venue]

Master Chef ― Ortho Version ～Let’s Make Loco Moco 1～

―A short while before cooking begins

Ortho: ―Energy inspection complete. All functions, including the cooking and processing units, are operating normally.

Ortho: Everything activates without a hitch, great. I tried to make my exterior look similar to my brother's outfit when he took the class, does it look weird at all?

Azul: It looks fantastic on you, Ortho-san. However, I never expected to see you take an interest in cooking… I'm a little taken aback.

Ortho: It's only recently piqued my interest. Sometimes I hear my classmates swapping kitchen horror stories, you see.

Ortho: When someone said, "cooking is way too high level for newbies," it suddenly made me want to try to win against it… Which resulted in this gear being developed.

Azul: I see. And if you are to do a trial run of that gear here, the Master Chef course would be the best opportunity to do so.

Ortho: Exactly! I knew you'd get it, Azul-san.

Ortho: Not only can this gear cook food, but it's built with many other functions to manage proper nutrition or count calories and the like.

Ortho: I plan on getting the expert chef to check out my functions and test out what all would be useful for cooking!

Azul: I can see you're raring to go. Then, I'll wish us both luck.

Ortho: Yeah!

[Kitchen]

Ghost Chef: We'll have you make the "Loco Moco" dish for us today, Ortho-kun.

Ghost Chef: First, we'll have to prep the onions that'll be mixed into the hamburger meat. Do you know how to mince?

Ortho: Okay, I got this!

Ortho: ―Begining cooking procedures. Activating the Cooking Gear's Food Slicer Unit.

[whirrr… fsshhh…!]

Ghost Chef: H-HUUUUUUUUUUH!? HE TRANSFORMED!!?

Ortho: First, I need to adjust the shape so it will be easier to prepare. I need to swing vertically over the onion and… slice it in half!

Ortho: Great, looks like my knife is sharp enough! Umm, since this is for mixing in with hamburger meat…

Ortho: ―Executing command: "Target ingredient: Onion / Processing Method: Mince / Configuration: 3mm Squares"

Ghost Chef: W-Wow… The onion was finely chopped up in no time flat…!

Ortho: …Whew, I've finished with the onion. Will these be sufficient?

Ghost Chef: Y-Yeah, it's cut expertly, but… What exactly is that round blade that came out of your glove…?

Ortho: I took an industrial-grade cutter and downsized it so it could be used in cooking.

Ortho: It releases water as it cuts. This removes the necessity to clean both the blade and the ingredient.

Ghost Chef: You've sure come up with something interesting. But this is just too far removed from traditional cooking methods… Hmm.

Ortho: Different tools shouldn't cause any deviation from the recipe, though… Or should I have used a knife?

Ghost Chef: Well, I guess for your case, you have to cook like that… So I'll make an exception this time.

Ortho: Yay～! Okay then, I'm ready for the next part of the class!

Ortho: ―Activating Heat Sensor Camera. Calculating the temperature of the stir-fried onions… 38.2°C. Current temperature is 41°C lower than last measurement.

Ortho: According to my database, the best temperature range to continue cooking at after letting the dish simmer down is between 38～44°C. Chef, can we continue with the next step?

Ghost Chef: Sure, that's fine. So, next, take the ground meat, onions, and spices to form your hamburgers.

Ortho: Understood! ―Executing Command: Deploy Hand-Coating Gloves.

Ghost Chef: Woah! And now suddenly there are gloves attached to your hands. Is this another one of your technological applications?

Ortho: I'm using something similar to shrink wrap for this. It'd be pretty tough to do maintenance if my joints got dirtied.

Ghost Chef: Ah, that I can understand. It's just like how it's troublesome to have to wash everything that climbed up inside of an eggbeater.

Ortho: I thought as much. In the future, I'd like to equip some functions that would handle this effectively, but… This time, I want to try to knead it by hand

Ghost Chef: And why is that?

Ortho: It sounds like when my brother took this course, he didn't like this specific task.

Ortho: So I thought it'd be good to know the source of his stress, so I could factor that into the eventual kneading function…

[squish…]

Ortho: Hmm, maybe he didn't like how it felt when he touched it? Probably means if I can automate this task, everything'll be solved!

Ghost Chef: Sounds like you've figured out your answer, Ortho-kun.

Ghost Chef: By the way, your brother is Idia-kun, right? Has he changed at all since taking the course?

Ortho: Hmm, I don't think anything changed. He still doesn't really care about food at all…

Ortho: …Oh yeah! Maybe I can use this Cooking Gear to help improve his eating habits.

Ghost Chef: Eh!? You made all these functions without actually knowing what you'd use it for in the first place?

Ortho: Ehehe, so actually… I just made this because I wanted to "win at cooking!" So I didn't really have a particular use for it in mind.

Ghost Chef: Well, I guess that's a good enough reason to start. Also, even if it is an afterthought, I'm glad that you have a goal to strive for now.

Ortho: Yeah. Alright… Now I have to start improving this gear so I can make food that my brother'll want to eat!

[Kitchen]

Master Chef ― Ortho Version ～Let’s Make Loco Moco 2～

Ghost Chef: While we wait for the hamburger to cook, you can prepare the toppings. We'll garnish with cabbage and mini tomatoes for this dish.

Ghost Chef: The cabbage needs to be shredded, so… Are you able to adjust your cutting size in 0.1mm increments?

Ortho: By design, I should be able to. I would like to test it for myself, so could you tell me the specific size you're looking for?

Ghost Chef: Then, if you can, slice at 1.6mm.

Ortho: Got it!

Ortho: ―Executing command: "Target ingredient: Cabbage / Processing Method: Slice / Thickness Configuration: 1.6mm"

Ghost Chef: Woooah, very good! It was surprising when I first saw all this, but now it's really nice to see how quick and accurately you can cut.

Ortho: Simple tasks like these are a machine's strong point, after all! …Okay, I'm done! I wonder how the hamburger is coming along?

Ortho: ―Activating Heat Sensor Camera. Frying pan is holding steady at 16°C. Hamburger internal temperature: 34.5°C.

Ghost Chef: That's a pretty handy function, too. You don't need to take the lid off the frying pan to check how it's cooking, so there's no drop in temperature.

Ghost Chef: …Ah, oops. I let myself get a little too distracted watching your really neat functions.

Ghost Chef: Normally, it would take more time to prepare the toppings, but you're moving along smoothly.

Ortho: Ah! Then, while we wait for the hamburger to cook, can you explain to me more about the toppings?

Ortho: Cause toppings are kind of like power-ups from a video game, right? You don't really need them but it's better to have them.

Ortho: That's why I bet if I could know which toppings are the most filling, I could make my cooking even more efficient.

Ghost Chef: Hmm, that's a difficult question. It can vary depending on what you have on hand, and what you feel like using.

Ghost Chef: For example, I wanted to make sure there was nutritional balance, so this dish uses vegetables as a topping.

Ortho: If we were to remove the vegetables from this recipe… The vitamin intake would be reduced by 75%. It really would lose that nutritional balance.

Ghost Chef: In the past, I would serve it as a salad on the side, but there were so many kids who wouldn't even touch it, because they didn't want veggies.

Ortho: I get it, you revised the process fundamentally to help resolve your problem. I think that's a very reasonable method.

Ghost Chef: Haha, thank you. Yes, I'm glad I changed it up like this.

Ortho: Changes, hm… If I want to be able to add that as a possible function to the Cooking Gear, I'll have to gather a lot more data.

Ortho: If I can learn to swap out ingredients, it might help in dealing with my brother's bad eating habits.

Ortho: The more I learn about cooking, the more I can see all sorts of possible challenges, just like in a video game.

Ortho: ―And finally, I set the egg on top… Done! It's made to look like the dish I saw as the top hit in an image search.

Ghost Chef: Nice, you've plated it so beautifully and deliciously. I guess it's time for you to take it to the judging venue, then.

Ortho: Okay! I can't wait to see how the judge will react～

[Cafeteria – Judging Venue]

Leona: Ughh… What a pain. Why do I need to be a judge for this Master Chef thing…?

Ortho: Sorry to keep you waiting! Oh, I see you were the one to order this dish, then.

Ortho: Here you go, this is the Loco Moco you requested! Please, enjoy!

Ortho: I want to use your assessment of the dish to help improve my Cooking Gear, so please be as candid as possible.

Leona: …Hey. Why're there vegetables in this loco moco? There wasn't any last time I ordered it.

Ortho: I heard this was a change made to help people eat their veggies. Great, right?

Leona: …Tch, way to do something completely unnecessary.

[bite, chew, chew, chew…]

Ortho: I followed the recipe exactly as it was written, so there shouldn't be any issues with the flavor… What do you think?

Leona: The hamburger and the gravy sauce taste fine. But because of all the veggies you threw in there, it shouldn't even get a single point.

Ortho: Ehhh, why!? I made sure to follow the recipe and throw in the right amount, size, and cooking time for all the ingredients!

Leona: Why should I care? All that matters is the judge's opinion, yeah? The recipe means nothin' if it don't suit my taste.

Ortho: …So without considering any of the general judging criteria, this dish "doesn't taste good" to you?

Leona: Basically. But hey, maybe you coulda gotten high marks if you'd just left the veg out like it's always been made.

Ortho: By adding the vegetables, it gave the dish a better nutritional balance. But Leona-san would have preferred no vegetables…

Leona: Geez, can't believe you'd just ruin a good meal like that. Since the judging's over, I'm outta here.

Ortho: Ah, he left…  I can't really understand how someone could say a dish that satisfies nutritional needs "doesn't taste good."

Ghost Chef: Leona-kun must really hate vegetables, if he couldn't get past even this small addition.

Ortho: Ah, I should have asked why he hates vegetables to help me with figuring out how to change up recipes!

Ghost Chef: Ortho-kun… Are you actually happy with that result?

Ortho: Yes! The more data I can gather on any issues, the better I can improve my Cooking Gear!

Ghost Chef: Well, I guess I'm glad you're not sad after hearing that, but… Why does that make you that excited?

Ortho: Leona-san was already unhappy with the dish even before tasting it. That means he had already decided it wouldn't taste good just from looking at it.

Ortho: The challenge rating just shot up, now that I have to keep an eye on visual aesthetics, taste and nutrition… Of course that gets me super pumped up!

Ortho: I might be a long way away from being able to tackle my brother's bad eating habits, but… I'll definitely do my best to make my Cooking Gear even better!

Requested by Anonymous.

[ms-demeanor]

Do you have any food tips for someone with bad texture sensitivities? The texture I hate Most is anything fibrous, which is almost all vegetables, and makes me feel and seem like a fuckin 8 year old. The best thing I've found so far is removing the central stem from spinach, "deveining" it, but that takes Forever and doesn't add much verity

I do! Because I fucking *loathe* celery strings!

So for one thing, if you find stuff that has textures that irritate you it's perfectly fine to avoid those things. If the stem from spinach bothers you are there good alternatives that serve the same purpose? Is the texture of kale or chard less problematic? If there are good alternatives that serve the same purpose, use those!

For another - look at some options on prep and purchasing. Does baby spinach bother you the same way that regular spinach does? Does baby spinach at least mean chopping off less of the stem because it's softer and less stringy? That might be a good option! But also check and see if there are different methods of prepping the particular vegetable. I started liking asparagus a lot more when I learned to snap the stem at its natural breaking point instead of trimming to an arbitrary length because that gets you a lot less fiber from the plant!

And finally - Destroy The Basic Structure Of The Offending Texture. If eating raw whole spinach is super difficult for you, don't do that. Cook it until the fibers break down (steaming and boiling do this pretty well) or chop it up so tiny that it isn't noticeable (this is the only way I will eat uncooked celery) or Stick That Motherfucker In a Blender (I put spinach in my smoothies and will often use an immersion blender to smooth out textures in soups). A mandolin slicer is a good way to get extremely thin-sliced veggies if cutting things up very fine is difficult for you.

You may also find that you have a better time eating frozen or canned vegetables than you do eating fresh vegetables. That's fine! If you're limited to canned vegetables make sure to watch the sodium in the veggies, but frozen and canned vegetables are still vegetables and they're still good for you.

[elysiaheaven]

𝗕𝗮𝗯𝘆𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴..?-𝟮𝟭-(The Fox's Wedding)

Words:2676

The conversation continued, a lively argument broke out between Yanqing and Yunli.

"First, you didn't kick my butt!" Yanqing declared, his voice filled with youthful defiance. "Second, you'll never kick my butt! Third, how about we settle this right now and see who kicks whose butt?"

Yunli grinned, accepting the challenge with gusto. "Yeah, I'm up for that! And if I kick your butt, you'll drop out of the Wardance. Deal?"

March 7th, looking puzzled, interjected, "Why are you two arguing again? I thought things had been improving between you lately..."

Jiaoqiu, observing the commotion with mild interest, explained, "There was talk that the leading disciples of the Luofu and Zhuming generals were supposed to face off in the Wardance, but for some reason, they suddenly teamed up to train an apprentice of their own. Turns out the rumors are true."

"Tomorrow is the big day of the Wardance," Jiaoqiu continued, his tone taking on a slightly more serious edge. "Shouldn't you two be focusing on honing your skills instead of teaching swordplay here?"

Yunli looked at Jiaoqiu, recognition dawning in her eyes. "Ah, you're... um, you're... That's right! You're the pink-haired fox from the Yaoqing!"

March 7th chuckled, adding, "This is Mr. Jiaoqiu."

"Pink-haired fox..." Jiaoqiu mused, a faint smile playing on his lips. "What are you laughing at? You've got pink hair, too!"

"Well, this is Mr. Jiaoqiu, the healer working for the General of the Xianzhou Yaoqing," March 7th clarified.

Yunli, catching on, asked, "So, you're the participant attending the Wardance on behalf of the Yaoqing, and you were trying to sneak a peek at our training?"

Jiaoqiu shook his head with a light-hearted chuckle. "Sorry for the misunderstanding. I don't know anything about martial arts. I'm just here on the general's orders to take care of some official business. I didn't mean to interrupt your training. I'll be on my way."

Yunli raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "If you know nothing about martial arts, why were you smirking earlier?"

Jiaoqiu shrugged, his smile widening. "Well, my curiosity got the better of me, I suppose. When I heard Miss March's pondering about what to learn, I couldn't help but wander over."

From behind you, you offered a soft, almost ethereal laugh. "It's true, isn't it? Sometimes even the sweetest of us can get caught up in the chaos. But don't worry, you two are doing great."

Jiaoqiu, now focused on the conversation, continued, "From my professional experience, cleavers, slicers, chopping knives, and carving knives are all just tools, kind of like frying, sautéing, boiling, and deep-frying in cooking. They're just ways for people to show off their skills. How you use them really depends on the ingredients you're working with."

Yunli's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "Are you saying our swordplay is like cooking?"

Jiaoqiu nodded, his tone more animated. "Exactly! It's like your sword teaching methods. If you align your 'ingredient' — in other words, your apprentice's natural tendencies — with the right 'cooking method' — that is, the teaching method that best suits her — she'll make double the progress in half the time!"

You took the opportunity to interject with a kind smile. "Just remember, it's not just about technique. It's about how you nurture and support each other."

Jiaoqiu added, "For example, Golden Eggplant tastes best when fried, Cloud Peppers when stir-fried, and Yellow Boulder Beef when simmered. It's all about discovering the nature of the ingredients... uh, I mean, apprentice."

March 7th, already feeling a pang of hunger, laughed. "All this talk about food is making me hungry."

Yunli, confused, asked, "Aren't you a healer? Why are you talking about food?"

Jiaoqiu shrugged. "Well, it's just a metaphor. The medicinal school I follow on the Xianzhou Yaoqing is called the Ranzhi School, which specializes in food therapy, so it's only natural that I know a thing or two about cooking."

Yunli raised an eyebrow. "So... you're the general's cook?"

Jiaoqiu chuckled. "I'm a healer! But anyway, a cook who isn't interested in health doesn't make for a good advisor. Fine, call me a cook if you want."

The conversation shifted, you approached Yunli and Yanqing with a warm, genuine smile. "I hope you both find your way and enjoy the Wardance. Remember, it's not just about the fight, but about the camaraderie and the connections you make along the way."

Jiaoqiu, however, seemed to get more serious. "Picture this: Two individuals, the one standing is full of malice, the other lying down is honorable and righteous. How can the one who's lying down label the one standing as 'sinister?' In the throes of combat, where life and death hinge on a singular moment, every idea fades into nothingness. The only thing that matters is 'staying alive.' Surviving the battlefield reshapes all notions of worth. Be it integrity or treachery, in my eyes, their significance is negligible."

Yanqing, feeling the weight of Jiaoqiu's words, responded, "Perhaps you've underestimated Yunli and me, Mr. Jiaoqiu. We may be young, but we've seen our fair share of war."

Jiaoqiu acknowledged their point with a nod. "Well, well, then you should know that the Wardance is nothing more than a contest. So, why are you so focused on it?"

Yanqing explained, "When I was appointed as the ringmaster for the Wardance, I asked the general: 'We Cloud Knights are supposed to charge into the fray and slay enemies. Why do we have to swing swords in a ring just to please an audience?' And this is how the general replied: 'To unsheathe your sword in a ring is no different than on the battlefield, as your sword reveals the might of all Cloud Knights.'"

Yanqing's voice held a note of pride. "The Wardance is the perfect chance to showcase martial virtue and forge alliances from all over the cosmos. When we unsheathe the sword without drawing blood, we not only display our might but also the martial virtue of the Cloud Knights."

Jiaoqiu, now intrigued, said, "That's quite an insightful statement, Yanqing. Well, my apologies for being so short-sighted. I've been on the Luofu for quite some time, but I haven't had the chance to see the ceremony venue for myself yet. Hearing you speak so highly of it has piqued my curiosity. Would you mind showing me around?"

Yanqing's eyes lit up. "You want to see the Skysplitter ship where the Wardance will be held? Let's go! I bet Yunli and Miss March haven't seen it either, right? Well then, I'll give you all a tour."

Jiaoqiu: "Surviving the battlefield reshapes all notions of worth. Be it integrity or treachery, in my eyes, their significance is negligible."

Yunli, curious, looked at Jiaoqiu with a hint of concern but decided to keep her thoughts to herself. She turned to you, her cat-like form now back to its original state after a brief transformation, and asked, "Can you believe it? March 7th has actually become a pretty decent swordmaster in such a short time. Now I understand why grandpa always had a grin on his face while training me."

You responded with a soft chuckle, "It's amazing what a bit of dedication and the right guidance can achieve. March 7th certainly has talent, and it seems like her training has paid off."

Yanqing, eager to move on, looked at the group and said, "Let's go. I'll give you a tour of the Skysplitter."

With a quick teleport, the group arrived at Stargazer Navalia.

Jiaoqiu, taking in the surroundings, remarked, "Looks like a lot of other visitors have also come to catch a glimpse of the Skysplitter."

Yanqing noticed Jiaoqiu's contemplative expression and asked, "What's up, Mr. Jiaoqiu?"

Jiaoqiu hesitated before replying, "No... it's nothing."

Yanqing pointed towards the airship in the distance. "Do you see that airship? That's the Skysplitter, the venue for the Wardance ceremony."

You glanced at the airship with a thoughtful expression and added, "It doesn't look all that impressive from this distance, but I'm sure it's something special up close."

Jiaoqiu's eyes followed the direction Yanqing pointed, and he nodded slightly. "Indeed. It may not seem like much now, but appearances can be deceiving."

Yanqing smiled, ready to lead the way. "Come on, let's get closer and see what all the fuss is about. You'll get a better view soon enough."

Jiaoqiu observed Yanqing with a thoughtful expression and remarked, "Oh, Yanqing, so young, yet so grown-up... By the way, how old are you exactly?"

Yanqing, not missing a beat, replied, "Age doesn't really matter. All swordmasters will understand how I feel."

Jiaoqiu nodded, taking in Yanqing's response. "Hmm... I get it. Looks like all the kids on the Luofu live tough lives. So, how about you, Miss Yunli?"

Yunli, slightly taken aback, responded with a touch of humor, "It's not polite to ask a girl her age, no matter which Xianzhou ship you're on."

You, who had been quietly observing the conversation, interjected softly, "Sometimes the journey is more important than the number of years, wouldn't you agree?"

Jiaoqiu, slightly amused, said, "I'm not asking your age! I'm asking if you have a dream like Yanqing has?"

Yunli, with a hint of playfulness, retorted, "You don't talk like a cook; you sound more like a TV host or something."

Jiaoqiu, slightly exasperated, clarified, "...Need I repeat myself again? I'm a healer."

Yunli sighed and shared her thoughts. "Well, I... I don't have a dream like Yanqing does. The only reason I'm participating in the Ringmaster's Challenge is because I made a promise to my grandfather that I'd win the precious sword he's contributed to the Wardance."

Yanqing smirked, "Sounds like that mind of yours is just filled with swords."

Yunli, with a serious tone, continued, "My... father... was a craftsman on the Xianzhou Zhuming. Because of his foolishness, many innocent people fell victim to the cursed swords he forged."

You, sensing Yunli's pain, reached out with a comforting presence. "It sounds like you've been through a lot, Yunli. Your resolve to protect others from harm is admirable."

Yunli looked at you with a soft smile. "Thank you. Since I was a kid, it's been clear to me that not everyone deserves to have a weapon in their hands. Giving them a sword is no different than being cruel to the innocent."

Jiaoqiu nodded thoughtfully. "So, whenever I come across someone unworthy of a sword, I can't help but want to take it away from them. Given that Yanqing is the Wardance ringmaster, I'm stepping up to challenge him, to ensure the precious sword doesn't fall into the hands of an unworthy master."

Yanqing, a bit defensive, asked, "Hey! What do you mean by 'an unworthy master'?"

Jiaoqiu glanced at you and then back at Yanqing. "I see. It's not easy for kids on the Zhuming either. Well, it's better to have a reason for wielding a sword than to be lost and confused. I've saved countless Cloud Knights in my life, and there are plenty of exceptional warriors just like the two... of you..."

Yanqing noticed Jiaoqiu's sudden shift in demeanor and asked, "What happened, Mr. Jiaoqiu?"

Jiaoqiu shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. "...Oh, nothing. I was just reminded of some old friends and old tales."

Turning his attention back to Yanqing and Yunli, Jiaoqiu continued, "Judging from my professional perspective as a healer, both of you possess remarkable vitality; your energies flow like raging fires and mighty gales. The upcoming fight... will definitely be impressive."

You smiled gently, adding, "I'm sure both of you will give an incredible performance. I look forward to seeing it."

Jiaoqiu glanced around at the Skysplitter and Stargazer Navalia. "Well, we've seen the Skysplitter and toured the Stargazer Navalia. I guess it's time to say goodbye for now."

March 7th, joining the conversation, said with a touch of disappointment, "What, you're leaving already? But you haven't asked me about my dreams! I've been working hard too, you know!"

Jiaoqiu, with a chuckle, replied, "It's getting late, Miss March. Unlike you lot, I'm a grown-up bound by responsibilities and duties. The tasks entrusted to me by the general won't complete themselves."

Jiaoqiu turned to Yanqing with a curious look. "By the way, Yanqing, is it normal to have so many people wandering around in an automated area like the Stargazer Navalia?"

Yanqing, with a knowing smile, answered, "...Actually, this is a restricted area, but since you're all guests, I made an exception so you could take a look around."

Jiaoqiu nodded, understanding. "I see. Well, I'll take my leave. I wish you both the best of luck in the ring tomorrow."

Jiaoqiu prepared to leave, you stood there, bowing with a quiet grace, your eyes betraying an emptiness that seemed to stretch endlessly. Each step you took felt heavier, like the weight of countless regrets was pulling you further into the abyss of despair. The world around you seemed to blur, the bustling Skysplitter and Stargazer Navalia fading into a distant haze.

You found yourself questioning, once again, why you should even continue. The internal struggle was consuming, gnawing at the edges of your sanity with every unanswered query. You walked alongside Jiaoqiu, your movements slow and deliberate, but the darkness within was encroaching, turning each step into a battle against overwhelming sorrow.

Suddenly, you felt a gentle touch on your arm. Startled, you looked up to see Jiaoqiu's hand resting there. His eyes, usually so calculating and reserved, were now filled with a deep, unexpected concern. For a moment, the world seemed to pause as you met his gaze, the anguish and helplessness reflected in your own.

In that brief silence, the walls you had so carefully constructed around your heart began to crumble. You felt a wave of vulnerability crashing over you. It was as if Jiaoqiu's touch had opened a floodgate of emotions that you had kept tightly controlled. Without thinking, you found yourself speaking, your voice trembling with the weight of your sorrow.

"I'm sorry," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry for everything... for ruining your life. I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused."

The scene shifts to Jing Yuan in his private quarters, the flickering light of the lantern casting shadows on the walls. He sits at his desk, staring at a letter that has just been delivered. His usually composed demeanor is shattered as he reads, his hands trembling slightly. The contents of the letter unravel the painful truth he had been missing, connecting the dots between recent events and the anguish you have endured.

A single tear escapes his eye as he clenches his jaw, trying to hold back the wave of emotion. The realization hits him hard—he now understands the gravity of what you've been through and the mistakes that led to it. His heart aches with regret as he realizes how much he has misjudged the situation. Without uttering a word, he rises from his chair, determination and sorrow etched across his face. He knows he must see you again to offer his heartfelt apology.

Cut to the ancient seaside shore, where Feixiao stands with an air of quiet anticipation. Her eyes are sharp, but there's a subtle softness in her gaze as she awaits her guests. The scene shifts as Jing Yuan approaches, looking troubled but resolute.

Feixiao "I am glad to finally meet you in person. Guests from the Luofu, I presume?"

Jing Yuan"You're here about the Ambrosial Arbor's resurrection, no?"

Feixiao "Straight to the point. I like it."

Jing Yuan, barely able to mask his distress, takes a deep breath and asks: "One of the messengers... was his name Jiaoqiu? Did he marry the woman named Y/n? No need to worry, I know of her past. and why he might have married her.."

Feixiao's eyes widen with realization. She nods solemnly, understanding now that the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. Her expression hardens slightly as she contemplates the gravity of the situation.

Feixiao "Yes, Jiaoqiu. He... accidentally married her to save Moze from dying."

Jing Yuan's face reflects a profound sadness as he absorbs this new information. He pulls out a letter from his coat and hands it to Feixiao. It's a letter that provides a detailed account of what ahppened

Jing Yuan: "We understood the history of her past wrong...then, She had every right to be rude towards me."

Feixiao looks down at the letter..

What!? Is Jiaoqiu planning ?!

Is that why..you acted so....mean..? To....Make feel a little better to kill you..?

Your soul has the power to heal...... 

He must have known about it...You also seemed to be aware...

yet

What is.....? Why are you so..? Kind...?

[copperbadge]

I want to fuel your quest for brown cheese a little. Did you know we get special Christmas varieties in Norway?

The dark one is a very dark, almost burnt caramel with a smooth finish and hints of sourness. The lighter one is sweeter and has cardamom added to it. Also smooth, but drier. Both go extremely well with toasted raisin buns, but they're also good with butter on sourdough and other toothy breads. Add apple slices if you want contrast and crunch.

[photo id: Two brown cheeses in a plastic container, dark Bestemorost to the left, wrapped in blue, Julebrunost to the right, wrapped in red. A slice has been cut from the cheese to the left, with a Norwegian cheese slicer tool.]

Ah man, I can't even get the blue wrapper cheese and you're getting seasonal variants! Also thank you very much for doing a photo ID. :D

There must be a cheese shop in Chicago that either stocks or would order gjetost or brunost or bestermorost (best name) or Julebrunost -- which, that's "Yule Brunost" yes? Like my figgy pudding Spam that I turned into a christmas ornament last year. I just need to find them. I was in Whole Foods on Saturday and looked in the cheese case but they only had the Ski Queen red package. :/

Okay. I made it a mission in Europe, I can make it a mission here. I'm adding it officially to the To Do list.

[goodluckclove]

Skylark's Apple Log: Cosmic Crisp

Hi! Scott Skylark here.

I don't really know why I'm doing this. I was having a nice conversation with my good friend Katy about the importance of putting apples in the fridge so you can enjoy a cold apple, and barely an hour went by before she suggested I make a physical (Digital?) log of my insights and share them with the internet. I hesitated at first, but she insisted it was for the best, as people online might only know of me right now as some "sad boy pretty boy".

To which I said "Huh? What? What does that mean?" But right as she started to explain I suddenly decided I really didn't want to know and made some loud nonsense noises to buy me time to leave the room.

Anyways, I'm definitely no food critic. If you give me some cheese, some bread, a hard-boiled egg or two and like 4-6 apples, I'm good for the day. I'm not picky. I'd hate to put some misinformation out there (Discourse! Can you imagine?) so I've asked the very capable Chef Edgar Gallows to comment on what I say before I post it.

Today I'd like to talk about the Cosmic Crisp, which is absolutely in my top ten favorite apples. They're a hybrid bred in Washington in the late 90s. Did you know there are people who dedicate their whole careers to breeding apples? That was my dream job for a while when I was a kid, but I always struggled with science and apparently that type of work is entirely science. Anyways!

When I can have a Cosmic Crisp and some toast for breakfast, I'm a happy guy with lots of energy for the day ahead. And when it's fresh out of the fridge, it's crisp and chill, so no need for a morning juice. I like to use an apple slicer to make nice inform shapes, but those end up pretty thick, so I'll cut each slice to be about half-thickness. Doing this means you get a better bite to enjoy the flavor - and it also makes it seem like you have more apples to enjoy, which is always fun.

Cosmic Crisps are really big. There are bigger that exist - the Hanners Jumbo for instance, which is actually sold exclusively in Oregon where I live! But the girth of a Cosmic Crisp is certainly nothing to sneeze at. It's really fun, and frankly a great option if you're looking for the most bang for your buck at most average supermarkets. Sometimes it gets to be a little overwhelming, though, because I personally can only eat about three before I start getting a little grossed out. But if you're just eating one or two, this is very much a consistently satisfying variety in terms of sweetness and bite.

In my youth I resented the coloring of a Cosmic Crisp, believing that a red apple should commit to the hue. Now I appreciate the look of an apple that is definitely reminiscent of something grown off a tree, compared to a Red Delicious that mainly just looks like a child's crayon depiction of an apple given physical form by some cruel, confused God. And the crisp! Very crispy apple, potentially the crispiest I've experienced by far.

If you choose to enjoy a Cosmic Crisp apple, I highly suggest pairing it with a little bit of peanut butter, or just eating it on its own. It's very yummy.

I don't know how to end this! If you're reading this I hope you see a video of a cute animal on the internet. There are so many out there. Way more than I remember.

Thanks so much!

Skylark

Chef's Note: I think I'm immediately unqualified to check this kind of writing for accuracy. Up until recently I thought all apples were either green or red. Even after being told otherwise I still kind of think that. It's pretty startling to know there is a person in existence who puts more thought into this type of thing than picking up an apple from a bag on the counter and taking a bite.

Chilled apples are pretty good. I'll give him that one.

-E.G.

Hey Songbird Taglist did you think I'd call you all here to read Scott talk about apples because here we are

@kuebiko-writing @cartoonghosts 

@atlasthecactus @aroaceghosties 

@booksntea6982 @xarrixii 

@mushroommanchanterelle @whoevenknowswhatimwriting

@fukurouonthesea

[beardedmrbean]

A Canadian TikTok creator whose viral cucumber salad recipes have received millions of views and shares is being blamed for a shortage of the vegetable in Iceland, the BBC reported. 

TikTok creator Logan Moffitt, who shares videos with his 6 million followers under the username "@LogagM," started making cucumber salad content in July. 

He told Fox News Digital he suspects his videos are popular because they're "super-simple, easy-to-follow and fast recipes," he said via email. 

WOMAN MAKES SOURDOUGH BREAD MID-FLIGHT IN VIRAL TIKTOK VIDEO: SEE IT

His recipes mainly follow the same basic steps. Moffitt holds a cucumber to the camera and says, "Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber. Let me show you the best way to do it." He then slices the cucumber into a deli container, using a mandoline slicer. 

In some videos, Moffitt references the "demure" TikTok trend and reminds viewers to "be mindful" of their mandolines. 

Moffitt, who is in his 20s, then inserts various ingredients into the deli container before closing it and shaking it. The videos end with him taking a bite of his salad. 

Moffitt told Fox News Digital he'd been making cucumber salads for a while, but "just recently started posting them" in an attempt to experiment with different types of content.

They're seasonal, too, as summer is "the perfect time to have some cucumber salad," he noted. 

While many of his cucumber salad variations are inspired by Asian foods, Moffitt said he's been inspired to transform other foods into salads, too. 

"I usually think of ideas for the salads from pre-existing food: jalapeño popper cucumbers, chipotle cucumbers, sushi cucumbers," he said. 

His favorite, he added, is the "salmon cream cheese" cucumber. 

One variation of that recipe has received more than 32 million views on TikTok in the month since it was posted.

Rather than use specific recipes and ingredient amounts, Moffitt relies on his cooking experience to craft his salads. 

"I think through a lot of practice and time spent in the kitchen you grow to learn what quantities are important for your own taste," he said.

He said that he "cooked dinner every day for my family and watched a lot of YouTube chefs throughout my childhood." 

For Moffitt, "focusing on your taste, rather than an exact recipe, makes cooking super fun." 

Said one TikTok user in response to Moffitt's "salmon bagel cucumber" recipe, "You've somehow romanticized cucumbers and I love that for you."

"I don't even like cucumbers but still find myself watching the whole video every time," said another TikTok user.

The popular recipes are partly to blame for a shortage of cucumbers in Iceland, the BBC reported in late August. 

The Horticulturists' Sales Company (SFG), Iceland's farmers' association, told the BBC that there were shortages of the vegetable and that farmers "have been unable to keep up with spiraling demand" for cucumbers. 

One Icelandic supermarket chain told the BBC that cucumber sales had doubled since the salad recipes became popular. 

The sales of other ingredients used in Moffitt's recipes, including sesame oil and chili oil, have also increased, the BBC reported. 

The cucumber shortages in Iceland should resolve themselves before too long, the BBC also noted.

Kristín Linda Sveinsdóttir, who works in marketing for the SFG, told the BBC that the viral cucumber salad trend came at the same time that many farmers are not producing large amounts of cucumbers. 

"Everything is happening at the same time," Sveinsdóttir told the BBC. "This is the first time we have experienced something like this." 

There likely would not have been a shortage had the cucumber salad TikTok recipes gained popularity earlier in the summer, Sveinsdóttir told the BBC. 

Moffitt himself posted about the shortages in an Aug. 26 TikTok video.

"A lot of you guys have been asking me how many cucumbers I buy in a week, so let's count them out," he said in a video captioned, "Cucumber haul!"

In the video, Moffitt revealed that he had purchased 17 cucumbers that week.

"Seventeen cucumbers," he said, holding the vegetables.

"This is why there's no cucumbers left in Iceland. I bought them all," he joked. ____________

that's a good way to get people to eat their veggies, now if they can get enough cukes to them to keep the salads going.

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (10/8/2024) Episode: Lunch With Gramps

“Ho, ho, ho, Happy Winterfest!” Gilbert said as they arrived. “Oh my, look at how big my little buddy is getting. “I hope you guys are ready to work for your supper! I bought all the fixin’s, but I always say the best meals are those you make together as a family.”

“Can I help?” Skye piped up, looking curiously around his grandfather’s cozy ranch home from his new, higher vantage point.

“Sure!” Gilbert replied, “There’s lots of potatoes that need a good scrubbing, and I’ve got a nifty slicer you can crank afterward to chop them up.”

“You three have fun.” Noemi told them “I’m going to bring Roach out back to the stables and get him ready to show off.”

Skye quickly got bored with washing and slicing potatoes with grandpa’s suspiciously new plastic gadget, but no-one complained when he switched to “documenting” the process with his camera and providing “expert advice” on spicing the dishes just right.

Out back Noemi was happily cleaning her four-legged friend’s hooves and brushing his coat to a glossy shine. “Are you ready for your first big competition?” she asked him. Roach whinnied, which Noemi took to mean he was just as excited as she was to compete in the local show!

The sound of the dinner bell called Noemi back in. “It looks amazing” she told them “Was it fun helping out Skye?” He smiled as she ruffled his hair.

“He did a great job” Gilbert replied, “and that hubby of yours isn’t too shabby either!”

“I think I’m beginning to understand what my dads saw in this whole cooking business” Luigi told them, “Though you’ll get to sample my true specialty with dessert. I’ve created a holiday mocktail I think you’re going to love. Now come on, grab a plate before it gets cold!”

Before dinner, Skye’s grandpa pulled him aside. “You have Winterfest gifts to open after we eat, but this is a little something just for your birthday.”

Skye’s eyes lit up as he opened the box to find a child’s violin resting inside. “Thanks grandpa! I’m going to practice really hard, and once I get good enough maybe I can record myself playing on Yoshi! Can you help me with that dad??”

“Sure” Luigi called over his shoulder “Music was never my thing, but your Grandpa Peachy liked guitar. Maybe you two can film a duet sometime!”

“Someone wants to follow in his daddy’s footsteps I think” Noemi whispered, chuckling as Skye and Gilbert came to join them at the table.

“Well, that was delicious, if I do say so myself” Luigi sighed with pleasure as he pushed his empty plate away and patted his distended stomach “I wish I could still celebrate the holidays with a Grand Breakfast like I used to, stupid diabetes, but this ham dinner is the next best thing!”

“So, Skye, are you ready to open some presents while we let this delicious food digest and make a little room for dessert?” his grandfather asked him.

Skye nodded but pulled his mom aside as they all headed into the living room. “My tummy hurts. Will grandpa be mad if I skip dessert?”

 “Of course not, sweetie” she replied, “but I’ll tell him you’re not hungry if you don’t want to.” Skye gave her a hug, nodding into her sweater.

During the gift exchange it was Luigi who pulled out his phone to capture some memories “Remember Skye” he told his boy “every photographer needs to spend some time in front of the camera as well as behind it, so they remain a part of the stories they’re recording. Say Freezer Bunny!”

After dessert everyone headed downtown to the exhibition center, where Shannon was waiting for them. “Are you ready to show off your new stallion?” Noemi’s mother asked. “It's been ages since I got to cheer you on, and I can’t wait to point you out to all my neighbors.”

With everyone saying their hellos no one was paying attention to little Skye, who was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe in the chill, dusty, air.

While Noemi and her parents went to give Roach one last check before heading into the center for the competition Skye tugged on his dad’s sleeve to get his attention. “What’s wrong champ?” Luigi asked with concern, seeing the tears standing in the corner of his boys' eyes.

“Its so cold out here! When we teleported in, I, I couldn’t breathe!” he sniffled “and now my chest hurts.”

Luigi bent down to wrap him in a hug “Can you breathe now?” Skye nodded “Well good. I promise its nice and warm inside the center; and I’ll tell you a little secret… I never liked cold weather either. That’s why we live on a tropical island. Let’s get out of this chilly air.”

“Hey honey!” he called out “Skye and I are freezing our tushies off! Let’s go! Last one inside is a rotten egg!”

“Congratulations mom!” Skye cried as they exited the center a few hours later. “You and Roach did good girl!” Gilbert agreed “A silver medal on your first event together.” He wrapped a companionable arm around Shannon. “It’s the kind of victory you always wrote stories about as a little girl.”

“Thanks” Noemi replied, standing up and patting her faithful steed on the head “I couldn’t have done it without this fine fellow. How about you, Skye, would you like to try riding Roach?” At her son’s panicked look, she tempered “… or maybe when you’re a bit older?”

Skye’s nodded solemnly. “Yeah, later. Roach is awfully big. For now, I’d rather just take pictures of you riding him for my simstagram account.”

Luigi walked up to the cozy family scene, waving goodbye to the fans that had distracted him. “It's been grand” he told his in-laws before turning towards Noemi “all right, are we ready to go see Scott and mom now?”

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[theofficersacademy]

The arrival of the Great Tree Moon heralds the new year, and with it farewells and welcomes as graduating students' dormitories are now filled in with new ones. Wherever you look, the halls of Garreg Mach are bustling, and the spring season's blooming flowers signal a hope for prosperous new beginnings. The past year had finished in peace, and those who come to make their first visit to the Goddess pray such tranquility continues. As the calendar swaps out from one year to the next, how will you come to be in these coming seasons? Shall you shift with the passage of time or shall you find yourself standing perfectly still, the same as you were in the time leading up until now?

No matter what life throws at you, you do not walk it alone. Do say hello to the faces that surround you, new and old, in preparation for the unpredictable future before you, won't you?

The monastery halls are bustling with fervor as both new blood and the old guard prepare for the challenges to come.

Mission: Prepare for the Academic Year!

Welcome back, everyone. The mission board for the next two months will be a special Anniversary mission board open to everyone regardless of affiliation, with tasks created by you! What’s more, each task will grant a skill point. 4 more tasks will be added in October, so stay tuned!

Mission Task Board

Students in the cafeteria have decided to make a game of eating their fruits and veggies—which is to say, instead of simply eating their food as a cooked ingredient or a snack between classes, many of them have decided to make it a game! Inspired by the ninja of Hoshido, it is called: Produce Slicer! Students compete to slice the most food in just a minute, earning bragging rights for being the top scorer. The staff don’t seem to be too fond of all the mess though—are you on the side of the game or the dining hall staff who have to clean up afterwards? [Grants Sword +1]

It appears a group of monster hunters is visiting Garreg Mach, known for their unconventional use of glaives that utilize secondary automatons to control the battlefield. With dozens of heads on their walls, the group has invited those at the monastery to join them on a hunt. But, why is it that this creature seems to have a consciousness that rivals that of yours? And why is it pleading for you to help it? [Grants Lance +1]

As the chill leaves Fódlan with the coming of spring, in comes the prime time for flower viewing. A nearby town boasting of their beautiful blooms subsequently finds itself in a pickle: namely, it has been discovered that these trees are highly invasive, and the order has gone out for them to be cut down immediately. Are you here to catch a glimpse of something you may never see again, or have you been sent to get to work? [Grants Axe +1]

You've heard it here first, folks: time to show which house is the best. Sign up here and show pride in your class by picking up your very own paint-filled arrows! Who can paint the monastery in their glorious house colors before the twelve hours are up (or the administration shuts it down)? The rules are up in the air, but one thing is clear: color your opponents in your paint and earn extra points for each building that is defaced in the name of school pride! [Grants Bow +1]

Guess what? It’s bandits! Standard routine at this point, right? No problem, you and your squad grab your trusty weapons and head off to put a stop to their crimes… except the villains evidently came more prepared than you, and the next thing you know, your equipment is all gone! It looks like you guys may have gotten a bit too complacent. Only one way to get out of this in one piece - in the absence of your sword and spear, your fists must be enough. [Grants Gauntlet +1]

A noblewoman from Adrestia is pleading that you rescue her wife, who she claims hasn’t aged a day in nearly a decade and is not the person she fell in love with. She believes dark magic is at work and the portrait painted of her wife has the woman’s soul sealed inside, which seems to only grow more and more grotesque with each passing day. [Grants Reason +1]

Studies at the academy are all about preparing oneself for the future, and this consideration has led to an exercise on…parenting! A lucky few students and professors have been chosen to raise awareness for a monumental new program. Assigned with caring for a magically powered doll that requires rocking, reassuring, and cosseting (that will totally not scream and cry at set intervals through the night) what will you and your aptly dubbed ‘partner’ do to meet the challenge? Or will mommy and daddy fumble the diaper bag completely? [Grants Faith +1]

Welcome to Sir Donald's, where the customer is always right, and it is YOUR very first day on the job! At Sir Donald's, we pride ourselves on providing our busy customers with food that they can easily take on the go, and it is up to YOU the precious employee to provide them that quick service they need. We understand that this may be a tad difficult with our recent severe understaffing problems, but in this fast-paced environment, we believe in our employees' ability to rise to these kinds of challenges and soar above them! (OR ELSE) [Grants Authority +1]

You wouldn't have expected snow so late in the year, but on a journey out it began to kick up a storm and now you're trapped on a mountain trail during a blizzard! Thankfully, there's someone else with you, and you quickly manage to build a shelter to ride out the storm overnight before picking up your journey home in the morning. But...uh-oh...it seems that when you packed, you had warmer temperatures in mind, because there's only one blanket! Are you too proud to ask to share, or are you the stingy type that wants to keep the warmth all to yourself? [Grants +1 Heavy Armor +1]

The arrival of spring brings with it new life and new opportunities: the time has come for the Academy to proudly welcome their first litters of wolf pups! Though currently they are little more than clumsy whimpering balls of fluff, they will one day serve as mounts for the new generation of Wolf Knights. Their health must be maintained, their condition perfect, and their first manners taught as soon as possible. Offer your time and attention to the task… or just play with cute puppies when the Knights aren’t looking. [Grants Riding +1]

One can be an accident, two an unlucky coincidence - but when a third pegasus returns to the monastery with arrow wounds in its legs, it becomes clear that someone is targeting the monastery patrols on purpose. The time has come to launch an investigation, find the troublemaker and make them stop. Unfortunately, it looks like they're crafty and well-hidden, not attracted by any other distraction. You and your trusty flying partner may have no choice but to use yourselves as bait. [Grants Flying +1]

A new attraction has cropped up on the scene called a ‘maid cafe’ and attention for its eccentric details has been rising! Cute faces adorned with frilly dresses and cat eared headbands serve various menu items to the populace, but many attendees have come instead for the opportunity to be surrounded by so many concentrated sources of cuteness at once. What’s more: the cafe is hiring part timers! Will you come to check it out and poke fun at your hired acquaintances? Or participate in the modish experience yourself? Whether your aim is blackmail or sincere interest, the Garreg Mach Maid Cafe is waiting! [Grants Any Skill +1]

NEW! Among the most recent shipment of new staves for the monastery were a few suspicious items of unknown origin that no one here recalls ordering. Worse still, the last three or four attempts to figure out how to use them have all resulted in random bursts of violence, including one full-blown fistfight and one spontaneous chair-throwing competition. That’s right - the time has come for the Academy to learn the power of the Berserk staff, whether they are ready or not! Your assistance is invaluable, be it in providing information about this sinister item or breaking up the next fight that ensues as the terrified monks attempt to master its power. [Grants Faith +1]

NEW! A new establishment has popped up just outside the monastery grounds, run by a mysterious proprietor. What is it in the business of? Encouraging team-building and leadership skills through cooperation! And how do they do that? Lock you in a room and force you to use your combined wit to escape! Rumor has it that some of the puzzles you will be confronted with are brain-bendingly difficult… but surely you can escape a room, can’t you? No brute force allowed! [Grants Authority +1]

NEW! An inventor from distant lands shows up one day, claiming to have created the ultimate extreme sport: sky-diving! Get on the winged mount of your choice, soar high in the air, and jump off. But don’t worry about becoming a pancake! The inventor has something called a “parachute” which, when released, will provide you a way to float safely to the ground, or if you’re daring, your mount’s back after a few tricks. The academy sees great potential in this to aid new and old fliers alike on how to manage being knocked off your mount–will you partake in this daring exercise? [Grants Flying+1]

NEW! It happened out of the blue one morning: a huge gaggle of young children toddling all over the Monastery! It doesn’t take long for someone to fill you in on the nitty gritty: that these are indeed the same students and staff everyone knows, and no they don’t know how this happened to make them like this. All that matters for now is that there are way too many children to watch over until this wears off and not enough hands left. Are you one of the lone adults left battling exhaustion and tantrums, or are you one of the children wondering why the grown-up looks about ready to cry? [Grants Any Skill +1]

Frequently Asked Questions

These aren’t the only threads I can do, right?

Of course not! These are just prompts to help give some ideas of possibilities. You’re always free and encouraged to make up your own threads.

How do I claim the skill points?

In order to qualify for the skill point, the thread must clearly allude to the listed task and preferably feature the task being completed. However, you can still claim the skill point if your characters narratively fail. You do not need to message the masterlist to claim your skill point.

Can I only do one task?

Nope, you can do as many as you’d like with as many different partners as you’d like! You can do the same task with more than one person! However, you can only claim any skill points once. Remember to use (and track!) the #toa open tag for any open threads, and you can also post a link to your open thread on the appropriate Discord channel! If you have any other questions or concerns, shoot us a message through the masterlist or on Discord!

[christinescupofcoffee]

Quarter After Twelve

Chapter Eight: Goldeneye

Christine stood in the restaurant across the street from the hospital with the bright midday sun at her back. She did not remember it being that bright, not even in the middle of the day at high noon, either; the sight of the bright light made her shield her eyes even while inside of there. It was so strange to think about, and more so when she fetched herself and John a pair of Reuben sandwiches straight off the slicer accompanied with curly fries.

When she doubled back out of there with their food, the sun seemed to pound down upon the crown of her head as if during a heat wave.

“Jesus, what the hell,” she muttered, and yet she persisted with her walk back to the hospital and John’s room. When she came back to his room, the nurse had helped him into an upright position. He leaned back against the pillow with his hands idly down by his sides. When the nurse left the room, Christine sat down and rested the bag of food on the table right next to him. John turned his head and showed her a little smile, accentuated by the patch stretched across his eye and the side of his head.

She unwrapped her sandwich and within seconds, she was met with that peppery aroma of the pastrami and the tanginess of the sauerkraut on top. John smiled when she remembered the corned beef in lieu of the pastrami for him.

They both ate their sandwiches in silence, silence save for the machines which surrounded his head and shoulders. He managed to eat everything which she had served him, including the fries.

“Delicious,” he told her with a clearing of his throat. “Did you get anything to drink?”

She shook her head as she popped a couple more fries into her mouth. “I figured that we have water here, and you know that place, too—they charge extra for drinks.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” he said with a nod. He turned his attention to the little bedside table again, at which he sighed through his nose.

“Did you want something to drink?” she asked him in a soft voice.

“Root beer,” he told her, and she chuckled at that.

“Just like old times…” She popped more fries into her mouth, and then she leaned forward in her seat. “I think I saw a vending machine right down the hall from here.” She stood up and walked on back out of the room in search of that one machine down the corridor which had drinks only: it was right down by the corner of the hallway, just before the waiting room and radiology. The machine had run out of root beer, much to her chagrin, even when she got herself some water; she hoped that he would like a little bit of plain cola instead. Two bottles in hand, and she doubled back to his room again.

“They were plum out of root beer,” she told him as she handed him the bottle, to which he sighed through his nose and showed her the crestfallen look upon his face.

“Everything okay?” she asked him, and he kept his hand on the base of the bottle as he set it down on the table nestled between them.

“I don’t know,” John confessed with a shake of his head.

“Don’t know what?”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he explained.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at me. I’m a broken man.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head; she could only see it on one eye, but one eye was enough for her. Christine rested a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

“No, you’re not,” she assured him, and he held one hand to his face. His bottom lip trembled with tears.

“I am,” he insisted with a break in his voice. “I am! I’m a broken, pathetic man.” She leaned in closer to him as if she was about to kiss him, but she could never kiss her childhood best friend, and especially not when he was in so much agony from the surgery and the treatment, and especially not when he still had his girlfriend back home as well.

John buried his face in his hands.

“John… Johnny… don’t do this to me,” Christine begged to him, and she put her arms around him. His body shuddered and shook with emotion, and she could hear it from behind his hands. She brought her fingers up into the roots of his hair at the back of his head. He had a bit of scar tissue on the back of his head, which told her that they had cut in deep on his head.

He rubbed his good eye with one hand, and he looked on at her with a solemn look on his face.

“Your scars… they’re going to tell a story,” she promised him. “They tell a story as we speak right now.”

He turned his head in the other direction so she could only see his good eye and the side of his ear and his face.

“Here. Let’s start formulating something for ourselves, for your life after illness.” Christine froze in her tracks as her mind went completely blank for a moment. John never turned back into her direction, which bought her a few seconds.

“Do you know when you’re getting out?”

“I don’t,” he replied with a shake of his head and a sniffle. She had never seen him like this before, and thus, she reached over to touch his hand.

“Well… when you do get out of here, I’ll figure something out for us,” she gingerly promised him. “Okay?”

John closed his eyes and bowed his head once again. A stray tear ran down from his good eye, but the grimace on his face told her that he couldn’t fully cry, not when he had that gauze over his left eye to keep the wound intact whilst healing. She moved in closer to him once again, that time with one hand on his shoulder opposite from her.

“Tina… forever my best friend,” he pleaded in a near whisper. Christine leaned back away from him, but she kept her hands on him just so he could feel her some more.

“I’ll take you home and take care of you forever if I have to,” she promised him. “We’ll go out west and start a new life together. You and me. Best friends forever.”

“Barring I don’t fall apart first,” he said in a low voice.

“You won’t,” she promised him with a stroke of his forearm. “You won’t, you won’t, you won’t. I won’t let it happen to you.”

The nurse strode in right then with a paper cup filled with pills and a clip to check his blood sugar, and Christine let go of him.

“I’m just comforting him,” she explained with a shrug, and she scooted the chair away from the side of the bed to give her room.

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” the nurse remarked, and she looked up at the monitor showing off his blood pressure, pulse, and brain waves. She gaped at the sight before her.

“I just ate,” he told her. “A big Reuben sandwich with curly fries.”

“I was gonna say, why is your blood pressure so high?” She handed him his pills, and disheartened, John took them in one fell swoop. Christine offered him a drink of water to wash it down; he silently thanked her and took a big swig from the bottle. The nurse then held onto his right hand and she held the clip up to his index finger for a blood sample. Christine winced at the sight of the penetration, and more so when she held a cotton ball to his finger for a second before she applied disinfectant and a bandage to it.

Within time, the nurse left the room, and the two of them were once again alone in the room together. 

Christine switched on the tv on the other side of the room for them: there wasn’t much on except for daytime talk shows and some cheaply made movies, but it was either that or sit and do nothing all the while.

She stayed with him all the way until dinner time, at which visiting hours were nearly over. She sighed through her nose and hoisted her purse over her shoulder.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” she gently promised him. “If you’re feeling okay at all, we could go walking out in the courtyard. Would you like that?”

“Of course,” he replied, and she stooped down to hold him one last time. “Get some fresh air. Get me off my broken ass…” His voice trailed off as she held him close once more.

“You are literally the only thing keeping me from killing myself,” he confessed right into her ear in a near whisper. Stunned, Christine held back and gazed into his good eye and wounded look on his face.

“Yeah, why is it… that of all of our friends—including your own girlfriend—I was the only one who came to see you?” she asked him.

“I wish I knew,” he confessed with a shake of his head. “I really, really wish I knew.”

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ll bring flowers, too,” she added. “Flowers and… I’ll try and find you a root beer in the meantime, too.”

John cracked her a smile, the first smile she had seen from him all day.

“I gotta have something in this life,” he said in a soft voice.

“You have more than just something,” she assured him with a gentle pat on the back of his hand. She stood upright and strode on over to the doorway of the room, right as the setting sun cast some golden light on the glass windows which surrounded him and that wing of the hospital, an amber kaleidoscope to give the two of them something of a light in an otherwise long day.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she promised him, and he leaned back against the pillows right as the evening news came on. The last thing Christine heard before leaving the room was that the sun lit up the sky, more so than normal, and no one knew why.

[elbeetbetak]

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[pyrepostings]

workplace whump: restaurants

regularly using sharp knives means sooner or later you're going to draw your own blood

Dull knives can also hurt you and worse (take care of your knives)

Ticket stabbers are sharp and a real pain in the hand to slam your hand onto

Some of the worst kitchen injures I see online and in person come from mandolin slicers (likely because the blade never gets sharpened properly)

Regularly using fire means sooner or later you're going to burn yourself

Burning yourself through a wet spot on the towel you grab a pan from the oven with

Grabbing a metal bowl that was left on the flat top that you didn't know was on the flat top with full force and dropping the bowl full of food on the ground and also burning your hand in the process

Hot oil splashing at your face

Dipping your entire hand into the hot fryer (I don't know how this guy has survived till now either but he did do it a second time apparently. Coworkers that should get their own whump prompt post)

Standing all day

Hot as fuck kitchen with minimal air circulation meaning the entire room is hot and humid and you have to wear long black pants, black sleeved shirt, and a hat (Healthcode+dress code)

Exhaustion. Imagine working 10+ hours 5 days a week and then on Sunday being required to work a double on your day off cutting your weekend in half and the one remaining day being spent at your parents house to spend mother's day (because you weren't there yesterday. Because mothers day is a restraunt holiday. Which means you work more not less) so good luck finding time to relax or get chores done before jumping in to another busy week.

Finding things you didn't know could break skin: tin foil seal edges of oil bottles. Edges of sufficiently fucked up cambros that should have been replaced a year ago. Freezer doors where the plastic has chipped off.

Hungry. Stealing food. Figuring out what food is safe to steal. Never eating more than a mouthful at a time. Chef gives you a mistakenly made side Mac and cheese. It's slightly cold but it's the best thing you've ever tasted. By the time you can actually finish it, it's been stone cold for three hours (deluge of tickets ringing in)

Banging your head on the pots and pans hanging up by the sinks.

Shucking oysters means shucking your own hand on occasion (record here is needing 7 stitches I think) don't be stupid with a shucker it's sharper than it looks.

Contracting something from sticking your hand in the dirty silverware bucket.

Stabbing yourself by sticking your hand in the dirty silverware bucket.