#believing you will never reach them
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ministarfruit · 1 year ago
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day 10: love is devotion ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
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s1ck-pupp3t · 3 months ago
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I love, Ms Paint. CHEERS!
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OK real art dump over. Click MORE for Real dumb stuff
something something They faces killing me why nobody gaf. Its a Transparent .PNg! You can put them any where to Not Care About.
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#deltarune#spamton#deltarune fanart#big shot spamton#spamton g spamton#spamton neo#swatch deltarune#my art#art#shitpost#sillyposting#deltarune addisons#dont tag as ship#i dont think anyone would tag as ship cause thats kind of the biggest reach on planet earth Butt ok im making sure ok? ok thank you#Ok. real tags over im gonna yap my jaw off now#the sneo drawing had me weeping on my knees in tears i fucking hate drawing im gonna swallow 50 pounds of Hay in the Stabels like a Horse.#in RAGE. swear to frucking Gosh!!!!!!#Im Proud It but its also Not my Favorite... But it is. i dont know. I HATE DRAWING!!!!!!!!! Lie. I love drawing.#can you tell i dont know how to watermark#i dont know how to watermark i dont know how to tag#I dont know how to format a post#But i know one thing...#I am President of Gay America.#Can you believe those 2 swatch drawings were done a day apart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#First I lol'd... and then I serioused. Thats what happened with me drawing in mspaint I Guess. does wonders For soceity#In 5 months... Im going To Hate all these and delete this entire post Or something likewise#I am a weak and fragile man. Make sure to Like and re-Blog to keep my Bones from collapsing in the winds of the storm. Much appreciated#By the way the bshot spamton with a red button up instead of a red suit is from a drawing i saw once but i do not remember it.#nor the original artist. ive never seen anyone else do it (Because i dont consume fandom content often) so like Credit to them for te inspo#Ok bye
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friendlygirlswag · 10 months ago
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rip gale dekarios you would’ve loved abba
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puppppppppy · 8 months ago
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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gravityfallsrenaissance · 6 months ago
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I rewatched Gravity Falls with my sister and holy crap being an adult and watching everything Stan goes through is insane.
I’ve been working through some stuff in therapy and like, this man has made some mistakes but definitely did not deserve what the narrative did to him.
Screws up his brothers machine on accident? Homeless at 17 and doesn’t speak to his twin for 10 years. Sees his brother again when they’re both at the end of their respective ropes and in their worst places mentally? Gets in a fight that lands his brother trapped for 30 years while he takes his death and tries to open the technical monstrosity his brother built when this man hasn’t even finished high school. Gets his brother back after 30 years? Doesn’t get a scrap of acknowledgement and is told to move out and leave him alone. Has spent 40 years trying to fix and atone for his mistakes? Not even a thank you and gets emotional about it such that the spell against Bill doesn’t work.
What’s left? Oh I don’t know, how about losing all of your memories and sense of self, letting the narrative boil you down to nothing more than a mistake and the only way you’re capable of rectifying it is by ceasing to be yourself, as literally as possible.
Like, I’m sorry, but if Ford really was so unreceptive to actually talking/working through things, I think Stan had more than atoned for his mistakes. I don’t think he was a fuck up or that his takeaway from everything should be that he wasn’t worth it. That his sacrifice was what he owed the world for everything he did.
Because he didn’t do any of it alone.
And boo fucking hoo that Ford had to shoot his brother. If their places had been reversed I doubt Stan could have done the same.
I’m sorry, you trusted an inter dimensional demon, kept secrets because you were too prideful to ask for help or admit to your failings, and again too prideful to say thank you to your younger brother who spent 3 decades doing everything he could to get you back? Stop throwing such a tantrum and get off your high horse.
Sure Stan made mistakes, but Ford never seemed to learn from his.
Rewatching it I was actually angry at the ending, at the idea that when Stan is facing Bill he’s not even upset at the hand he’s been dealt. At the unfairness of it.
Because it was unfair.
And if I had a single gripe with the series at all I would wish for maybe one extra episode after Stan losing his memories and before getting them back. Just one single episode of Ford admitting how he hurt his brother, the role he played in the apocalypse, just 20 minutes of him coming to terms with his own flaws.
Because we as the audience know Ford isn’t perfect, but I need him to acknowledge that too.
There is so much fanfiction where Stan’s life is horribly lonely or traumatic in ways the show can’t cover or makes light of and I get it but also it’s clear other people relate to Stan feeling like all he’s done is make mistakes and that he deserves what he’s gone through and that is so NOT the case.
And I wish the official narrative would acknowledge that too.
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youandthemountains · 9 months ago
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it probably is insane how much I wish I could express the thing about spones. the vibes about spones. Like there's the joking fun fandom vibes and I love them, I love to play with them, of course of course. but the THING. the CORE to me. i wish i could capture it and share it.
#like. the constancy. like the friction matters because it's hand in hand with the steadfastness you know? and it doesn't preclude tenderness#also climbing into the mind of the person you've been obsessed with understanding and being understood by.#and the fact that it's lifelong. and the teasing. and the fact that the growth is in the allowance of imperfections#allowing that imperfections exist in who you love allows you to love them allows you to love yourself#and i always love people knowing what you believe and bolstering it when you feel lost even when it's not their philosophy#(bones asking spock hope? isn't that a human failing? and him not allowing that#spock losing himself to emotion in all our yesterdays and bones reminding him how antithetical that is to him)#but even with all that seriousness - the TEASING. the plain fun. the constant reaching out regardless of their moods#the constant seeking each other out. the almost - given nature of the relationship.#it's not in some ways as dramatic as a Simple Feeling as the When I Think of You I Feel Shame.#it's bones growing into old age the human way one day at a time with spock#when people are like oh spock just put his katra in him because he was there - yeah. and he was always going to be the one who was there#this is why the earth moon sun metaphor works for the triumvirate so much better than sun moon stars imo#bones is the earth spock is the moon kirk is the sun#'the captain was indispensable'#the sun - a distant lifegiver to them and many others. they do revolve around it. have unique relationships to it#the earth revolutes the sun which brings it life. the moon has a face it only shows the sun#and the moon revolutes the earth. their gravity shapes each other. they reach out to each other. they formed in a collision outward#in some ways are entirely different but have the same stuff in them. spin the same.#idk it just makes so much sense for them all.#but even just getting back to them. again just the obsession with each others mind.#'i will never understand the medical mind' 'mathematically perfect brainwaves'#and then complimenting each other always so startlingly out of the blue with their own fields -#'you have a good bedside manner spock' 'perhaps if they had your ingenuity they would have'#the seeking each other's advice out even if it's just to argue with it lmao. the motif of their last words always going to each other#even wrath of khan - we know spock was talking to bones in his head. i do always wonder what was in their tsfs reunion scene#that shatner didn't want to happen.#I don't know and even this isn't the heart of it.#there's the families and the way they fit into each other's conception and value and weight of family#do i even tag this spones. this is just crazy rambling.
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roseetube · 5 months ago
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Been playing around with some aus!!! Magical girl aus are good for the soul!!! ALSO! ALSO!! IM ATTENDING NY COMIC CON ON SATURDAY!!! I swear if the 7 train isn't running, im gonna spontaneously combust!!!!!! And now it's time my mandated 100 tags (well 30, actually)
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askblueandviolet · 10 months ago
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Macaque, you are a freeloader...
At least give The Mayor a kiss. 😗
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MASTER POST
Asks Start 💙💜
Previous 💙💜
Next 💙💜
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 years ago
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one time my mom was talking about something, I don’t remember what, and she said “have you ever known the poverty of having nothing to say?” and when I say nothing has ever punctured my heart quite like that statement
#I don’t even fully know why. also I don’t think she even meant it how I took it#but there is just some part of me that does believe that that is the greatest poverty#when there are no words in your mind or heart. no phrases—nothing to rely on or fall back on#and you just have to struggle with the human condition and be able to express none of it#and I know that not everyone uses words like I do or relies on them that way but people need some words. they need something#this is why a) I never make fun of those Instagram accounts that are all cheesy inspirational quotes or whatever because people are trying#they are REACHING#also b) that’s why villains who are wordlessly violently destructive make me cry#because it’s just like—-yeah I can understand turning to violence if I didn’t have expression#if I couldn’t get anything out#also also this is not related but I watched some movie or tv show the other day (and I cannot for the life of me remember which one it was)#but there was this couple on a date and the girl asks him to complete all these proverbs after she gives him the first half#because ‘a man who knows his proverbs can’t be all bad’ and it shook. Me. To. My. CORE.#also also!! this is why I teach! it’s the heart of it for me!! And why I make them memorize poetry. like.#and put quotes on the board every day. like. You will have words and images in your mind and your heart from my class if I have anything#to say about it#anyway sometimes my mom says things and casually devastates me#and I think (I think) she was just talking about the poverty of having no news because nothing is going on#and so you have nothing to share with someone. and she was talking about my Grandma and how sometimes she was just so sullen and quiet#but it’s just because there was nothing to say#anyway anyway anyway that is also why the one time on the phone my grandma said who has known the mind of the Lord —shook me so much#because she never really said anything. words were not her thing and she never quoted anything#and suddenly her saying this line of scripture that said more than any words I’d ever said —one of the defining moments of my life#tbh. anyway this is very long I’m sorry. I have woken up this morning crying about this. idk.
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just-sp-in-inginthevoid · 5 months ago
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You know how girls have this sixth sense or guts feelings about a guy having ability to be dangerous person or like 'oh this person can be fucked up' . Do you think this is what happen with those 20 girls rejecting shinichiro sano? Like if it was 3-5 I can say bad luck ? But 20? I know most of the fandom say the girls are blind or shinichiro flirting skills are well bad enough making him desperate or it is him being a leader of the gang in Japan where it is seen in negative image. But c'mon universally teenage girls love a bad boy image. I don't think out of those 20 girls didn't find shinichiro sano attractive with all these qualities. I love Shin but 20 rejection in reality straight up a red flag?
20 appears as a funny hyperbole at first, and it sure was used for comedic effects but I agree Shinichiro has unsettling flaws (to say it nicely). Transposing the number '20' to real life could appear off.
Shinichiro is indeed a delinquent (and the leader of a whole gang of them, who reached Japan's number 1 spot - that's not nothing) and is seen by all the characters we know as an endearing idiot with a heart of gold. And yet no girl fell for it. Good for them, they deserve better than making the experience of being with Shinichiro. They wouldn't have known what they'd have signed up for..
Shinichiro is a red flag in himself once you see pass the 'perfect brother, perfect friend' mask. He is a 'good person' but only because his life didn't make it so he saw a point to doing 'mean things' - he's not against the idea, we know about Original Timeline. 'It's because he didn't have Mikey anymore!' I don't think one's morals should be dependent on another's well-being. (I eat that shit up everytime in fiction, and I love messed up characters, Shinichiro fits both and I love that, and i love him, but it'd be daring to say he's a good person knowing everything he did - and knowing we ignore a lot more stuffs). Sure he was a 14 y/o but he still named his gang after an irl ultranationalist organization (knowing how Japan hides and denies its past, I wonder how he knows about that), he brought his 8 y/o brother to a gang meeting when he was 18, his idea of bonding with Izana was showing him how to act like a delinquent, etc. Original Timeline makes him even more of a red flag but considering the additional factors behind his behavior at that time, it's possible to think (and whether it's right or wrong I don't know, interpretations vary and sometimes Shinichiro is very hard to grasp, I have troubles with him at times) his behavior there wouldn't ever manifest had it been not for this exact situation of losing Mikey (and what was left of his family on the way).
And yeah, Shinichiro would never be as violent, impulsive and hostile as when Mikey dies - but those things didn't stem from nowhere. There's definitively crumbs of it even when Mikey's doing well. He's got trauma he refuses to address (parents' death, parentification, ...) which.. I can see as cradle for some toxic positivity - being portrayed as perfect, good and kind until OG timeline, we only ever see him smile until he loses Mikey. And when he tries therapy it doesn't work.
One thing you can't take away from Shinichiro though, is that he's earnest, he has not an ounce of malice in him. If he deceives people (by making them believe he's perfectly imperfect) it's not intentional because he himself sees himself as the image most see him as. That's worse in some way, because he really is unaware of how harmful he can be - he's a red flag but he sincerely thinks he's good, he never purposely intends to hurt anyone. He loves to help out his loved ones and he'd probably do the same to strangers, but he also sucks at assessing their pain or any kind of repercussions in any given context (ex: treating Haruchiyo's 'slashing his friends because they badmouthed Mikey' incident lightly, abruptly disbanding Black Dragon and seemingly not doing anything for Takeomi's distress, downplaying Sanzu's scars, ...). He's an enabler, too. If a loved one were to say '[x] makes me happy!' then he'd let them to [x] even if it actually harms them - he wouldn't see how that can be wrong, since they're happy.
The fact they were so much makes me doubt of the seriousness of his feelings I have to admit. While he has a lot of love to give and is genuine in his interactions with others (unless they're twisted by denial, ie: OG timeline Shinichiro acting happy and fine), it appears as if he's just desperate to have a girlfriend - without caring who it may be. It seems very shallow, does he even know the girls? If they don't know him it'd explain a bit why they didn't accept. If we restrain those love confessions to his Black Dragon years he has confessed to five girls each year - almost one for each season, one every 2 month and a half or so on average. That's fast lol.
After that we could talk about the possible reasons why he was so eager to have someone; ranging from 'typical teen wishing to acquire relationship experience' to 'thinking he needs to provide his little siblings with a mother figure because he can only fulfill the father figure role' by way of 'needing to save the family's face after their father's cheating get spread' but.. I don't want to develop them more, and they aren't really the topic at hand here.
Another issue that could arose from a relationship is that he'd put Mikey and his family first before anything else - that's a hard true and that needs to be accepted quickly too, no girl could ever be his number one priority no matter how desperate he sounds to have one.
One may say his inability to get girls is a difference between him and Takemichi — the fact Takemichi got Hinata as a girlfriend because she fell for him, got Emma to almost sleep with him, and got Yuzuha to have a crush on him. But we're used to comparing those two silly guys and thinking they both function the same way and by so, Takemichi being an idiot but still good at heart, Shinichiro can't possibly be a red flag. It's the kind of thing the story doesn't make you instinctively overthink, I think. We have clues on how Shinichiro is as a person once we scrap the surface of TR and starts to dig, but we really have nothing about how he'd be in a relationship, how he'd act toward a significant other - and picturing him as another Takemichi is just something that the story makes us do throughout the entirety of it so it feels logical for a time to give Shinichiro the same traits.
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wonho-ssi · 3 months ago
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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softness-and-shattering · 1 month ago
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#omg some people do not even bother to fact check anything and base their political + moral opinion on ignorance#just saw 'this is bs youre just saying that a lot of african countries speak arabic bc you want to make out arabs as colonisers and#flip the script and lie'#have they never heard of the muslim conquest? the caliphates?#this is up there with only europeans can colonise#do people think colonisation just popped into existence whole cloth with christopher columbus?#that there were no empires beforehand??? or that empires are exclusively white???#no hm maybe they have a point what languages are spoken in africa yeah it is kinda weird so many of them speak arabic#do they kniw egyptians wwre coptic. koptic? that cleopatra was greek.#do they think the mongols were white. what is these peoples knowledge of history#literally 'you must be wrong because the narrative I know doesnt match the facts youre claiming and I wont even bother to check'#ive been sitting on a joke about we should call jordan the country cisjordan bc it used to be transjordan#back whrn it existed both sides of the jordan river shortly after the whole area was palestine#but the british decided to chop ot up and give jordan to...the hashemites? i think and then what was left re-became palestine#but i dont tuink its worth it bc people wont get it and theyll just get mad about a dumb joke because they dont like the history#so.im being a lil pathetic.amd.hiding it.in my tags#and like. ive been pretty quiet i think anout i/p for a long time but my patience is waning#and my side eye + benefit of the doubt is waning#if people want to be ignorant i cant help w that. doesnt mean I believe the propaganda straight up#it.is. quite difficult. to make up ones own mind and try draw the truth between lots of rightfully intense emotions and lots of.....#performatively high emotions lets call.it#i cant force people to.play nice or be sensible or reasonable or curious or open#i dont like becoming more closed off but i need to.pull that boundary a little tighter for myself so I can stay safe enough to be open#reach for the plow instead of reaching for the sword as my friends would say. work to learn the ways of peace not the ways of war#i just have. Feelings. yknow.#might delete#mine
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shorelinnes · 2 months ago
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leori-the-unlearned · 2 months ago
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the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3
the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*
#keyword: adding#in digimon conflicts come about as a result of independent viewpoint differences#ie takuya vs kouji. taichi vs yamato#or (since i just watched 02:the beginning) lui and ukkomon’s conflict is SO GOOD#it BUILDS to something. lui and ukkomon’s disagreement builds up to: they need to communicate. they both come from a good-faith angle#ukkomon so desperately wanted to make lui happy and failed to look closer to see what WOULD - and lui didn’t know how to express#what he actually wanted to ukkomon. or try to reach out to ukkomon in turn instead of basking in his life finally going ‘right’#but then not as much in idw gives me that good feeling of ‘ahhh they built to this and it is so nice’#or when conflict is created it isn’t because despite best efforts people clash and have to work together#it’s when someone does a stupid and someone else has to pick it up#it means a lot when you see kouji driven to press takuya to the wall and see them shout at each other#because they both have to realize that with words they will never convince the other of their viewpoint.#even though they both think the way the other looks at things will get the group killed#and of course it makes sense that the group would follow takuya. he’s their heart. their core#takuya’s the reason tomoki stayed in the digital world and junpei and izumi find confidence being there because he’s there rallying them#and in this case that good trait winds up being wrong. he gets everyone captured by the enemy and thinks theyre all better off if he wasn’t#part of the group from the start. but THAT isn’t true either - he just needs a BALANCE of his excellent helpful determination and willpower#and seeing things as they are and not as he believes them to be - more like kouji#he WAS wrong but not for HAVING the traits he had - for leaning too much on them#or (also going to a media im currently engaging in) sundered star. things go bad between people a LOT but it’s not frustrating.#it’s SATISFYING/ENGAGING seeing feferi leave eridan and watching eridan go insane and give in to the horrorterrors. of course it couldnt-#-go any other way for them. eridan wouldnt change until he realized he could lose feferi and feferi wouldnt bring him any real consequences#-to make him consider that until she was leaving and would never come back. and it was never her fault that leaving eridan lead to-#-catastrophe and devastation. it just happened as a consequence anyway#anyways i guess. if i see the characters do their best and things still fall apart it’s better than#seeing an idiot plot or characters written to be worse than they were to make conflict happen#with takuya he wasn’t suddenly bad or misjudging everything. he just didnt have to deal with negative consequences for misjudging before-#-because they hadnt met someone like duskmon that they COULDNT eventually beat before. even gigasmon who wrecked them all at first-#-was beaten once they had beast spirits and were on equal footing. so takuya assumes the same for duskmon without realizing that#they arent on the same level. so the issue didnt come from nowhere - it just comes to a head now
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mariathechosen1 · 1 year ago
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Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!
#y’all know I have many thoughts about this play and these characters#but even though the movie didn’t completely live up to my expectations as an adaptation#I still really enjoyed it!#and I really despise all those people making posts about how sydney sweeney can’t act#idk it seems a little rude#my main problem is how they messed up the benedick and beatrice characterization and dynamic#I love that they played up the ex lovers thing (which is left up to interpretation in the play)#and i love love queer Hero and Claudio!!!#but their hatred of each other didn’t really pack the same punch as in the original#I suppose I wish they weren’t afraid to make the characters bigger assholes?#ya know- give them more flaws?#because right now the enemies part doesn’t really feel believable for big parts of the movie#They really could have leaned more into making Bea a bit of a cold and snappy mess (as she is in the original)#and Ben more of…ya know…actual human disaster who can’t commit#both of their characters in the play are driven by their desire never to marry and their distrust for the opposite sex#They included this a bit with Bea (her not believing in true love and all that)#but her break up with Jonathan (because he was too nice???) didn’t really convince me of it#They also keep insisting that Ben is a fuckboy but we never really see it demonstrated?#I personally don’t mind the fact that they changed up the whole ‘convincing them that the other secretly loves them’ bit#especially considering this is only loosely based on much ado#but I do think they made it a bit messy considering they included the gulling scenes but only as a joke#I wish they’d either leaned fully into the much ado plot or ditched it#I think what a lot of adaptations get wrong is that they’re either too afraid of leaning into their og media#or too afraid of seperating themselves from the og media#oh god I’ve reached the tag limit help#anyways- rant over#anyone but you#maria talks about things#much ado about nothing#beatrice x benedick
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itspileofgoodthings · 3 months ago
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#on Friday one of my students was like 'are you a swiftie' and i said yes#and this one boy was like i have never heard you mention her#and i gave myself a mental high five for my own restraint#i have really tried to tamp down on that this year because things just get out of hand too fast otherwise#then of course 6th period came around and my defenses were gone and it was Friday and several students were gone#so I spoke on her and what I believed her legacy would be lol#and then I felt really bad about that decision :((((( for some reason#the kids loved it. but that is no sign that it was the right call!#anyway still reflecting#i did love that the student didn't know#i really want to be restrained both in general but especially about Taylor in my professional setting#and just. not be opening myself up to needless barbs about her but also not alienating people?#i HATE alienating people i want to reach all of them and the less I have standing in my way the better#so kind of constantly diffusing what threatens to blow up out of proportion#is like. half of my job#another student asked me immediately afterwards if i liked Kanye and i said gently that i did not know Kanye's music so i couldn't tell him#but like. i'm not getting into it you know? i'm not getting into the Taylor Culture Wars or whatever. I will not fan the flames of that#with students especially. but also i do care about her she's such a real part of my heart and my outlook#that sometimes I feel compelled to speak!#and just let them know what's going on in my heart#but yeah. as with many feelings relating to Taylor i often feel bad or foolish immediately afterwards for being vulnerable#kind of no position more vulnerable than taking the side of a millionaire pop star that people love to hate on#kidding!!! but I mean it's not wholly untrue#i like to think i try to move the space of the conversation immediately into something both grounded and relevant#when I do bring her up. and hopefully away from the worst bits of the inflammatory nature of Taylor discussions.#i hope it's healing for somebody/does any good.#but i have no way of knowing#i'm just rambling. it's saturday night and i had half a very strong drink#so my mind's just mulling.
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