#being grossed out or strongly disliking is uncomfortable

[writing-for-life]

Right, okay, I’ve thought long and hard whether to write this:

A squick (even a strong one) is not the same as a trigger.

Emotional discomfort, even emotional discomfort that leads to low-level physical symptoms like e.g. mild nausea, is not trauma. Unfortunately, TikTok pop psych has done nothing to help people understand the difference, because the trend to perceive (even strong) emotional discomfort as equivalent to a trauma response is worrying and neither helps people with nor without PTSD. I don’t wish it on anyone to actually find out the difference if they haven’t yet (disclaimer, since this is unfortunately necessary these days because everything gets misconstrued: I am not talking about individual experiences, because only you can know about those. I’m talking about wider trends in an often young audience with not enough background info to be able to tell apart sound medical/psychological info and viral BS created by “influencers” for some kind of personal gain).

What people in the current fandom spat want to have tagged as “triggers” are overwhelmingly squicks. And we’re probably all guilty of quickly saying “that triggered me”, myself included (and I’m a licensed psychotherapist, shame on me). It has become somewhat of a shorthand for “extremely annoyed or grossed out”. But when it gets used in the context of tagging, it’s good to remember that no one owes us a tag list the length of our arm just because we don’t like certain things. Even if we strongly dislike them.

And even on the occasion someone else’s yuck or yum is an actual trigger for us, it is impossible to cover for every possible trigger, because in theory, EVERYTHING has the possibility to trigger someone somewhere.

E.g., a certain smell in a supermarket holds the rare possibility of triggering someone, but do you see disclaimers at the supermarket door that say, “May smell of 484 different things, which are in detail [list of 484 things] and might be different tomorrow. Plus, we might have a customer today who smells of that perfume that brings up your triggering childhood memories. Or maybe we won’t, but just on the odd chance we do, we thought we’d rather cover it”.

There might be one person with a very specific trigger that does literally nothing to the vast majority of people. Do we expect everyone on Tumblr to tag for “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” because of that? How about that person just puts “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” in their content filter instead?

Do we really suggest to put that type of responsibility on creators? More importantly: Who are we protecting that way? All we do is put people into bubble wrap and shift responsibility for our mental wellbeing away from ourselves to others.

We are trying to tell other people what to do for our own comfort. That’s controlling.

If we’re squicked out by something, there is a simple solution: we can stop looking or reading. We can use content (not tag) filters. In the worst case, we can block. We don’t have to put that type of responsibility for our personal sensitivities on creators (or people who reblog, for that matter).

We can tag for certain things as a courtesy, I’m all for it. I love being able to filter out stuff I’m not into, and I sometimes wish people would tag better or not tag a certain way (getting ship tags for a ship you’re not into slapped on your character-metas is annoying 🤣). But I don’t die, neither does it cause me unbearable distress, if I see cows where I don’t expect them. Scroll past or block. And if I’m worried about mature topics like nudity or violence: Tumblr has a community label for mature themes you can (and in my view should) use if in doubt. Funnily enough, many people don’t do that though—maybe because they worry about reach?

Of course we should include content warnings where they are due, no one says we shouldn’t. It’s also fair if a creator doesn’t wish to do that beyond general warnings (no specifics) though because they might give away, say, major plot points that way. In that case, general disclaimers like “contains depictions of violence”, or whatever it might be individually, are a good idea. And if that’s not specific enough for us despite knowing that “violence” in general might also contain our personal trigger, we might need to make the decision not to read it to stay safe, but we shouldn’t have a go at the writer for not tagging very specific things that might be considered spoilers.

Long story short: If we assume people are “triggered” by werewolves with vulvas or non-human characters, it might be worth thinking about whether we’re just talking about squicks that very much fall into the category of “personal responsibility”. And there are plenty solutions to that at our end—we don’t need to put that on creators…

[actualadamtaurus]

Right when we thought the writers couldn’t write Blake’s character further into the ground they pull out “Would you rather be a cat or a human?” bullshit. Like ???? She ISN’T part cat bruh she’s a goddamn human with genetics that give her animal like features. That’s literally the WHOLE POINT.

I don’t know how to better articulate it because how the hell do you even come to that line of thinking. “Do you want to be a cat or a human” seriously it’s the equivalent of asking me if I’d rather be a human or the color brown, and I just. Wtf.

IT'S SO BAD. I cannot even fathom how they could still be this oblivious to the fact that Blake is an allegory for a Black person in America, and so anything they write surrounding her is going to translate as commentary on Black people in America. And this whole volume has been weirdly fixated on Blake's faunus trait meaning that she is the animal her trait comes from? And generally just othering her from her teammates? Which is SO odd after they set up the faunus as people who strongly dislike being considered the same as their trait's source.

Not to downplay the incredibly uncomfortable implications about "simply choosing not to be a minority," but also as some kind of character moment for Blake, it falls so flat. We have never seen her struggle with her identity as a faunus, only the oppression that comes along with it. This sudden desire to shirk a responsibility we didn't even know existed (be a bridge between humans and faunus? since when?) feels like it comes out of nowhere.

Speaking from the outside as a white person - which, in fairness, most of the writers are doing too - I have seen that people's experiences with their race and culture are multitudinous, complicated, and sometimes even contradictory. I don't doubt that there have been times when someone wished they could no longer be a minority. However. That's an extremely sensitive and nuanced area to explore and certainly NOT something to suddenly spring on a character in a show that has repeatedly butchered its commentary on race. It was gross.

[that-obsessed-gay-girl]

6. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? 8. Do you like having your nipples touched? 11. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? 12. Do you have any kinks? 17. Do you like being naked? 18. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? 20. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? 31. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? 32. Do you ever go commando? 38. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? 41. Do you like your butt? 43. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? 54. Have you ever had sex in a public place? 58. Are you particularly “vocal” when masturbating/having sex? 64. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? 67. Do you think you’re “good” at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? 69. What’s something you like about your body? 70. What’s something you dislike about your body? 71. What body parts do you find the sexiest? 75. Do you often imagine people naked?

6. Chris always likes using her fingers on a woman, that way she can get the lay of the land down there and understand where her partner is more sensitive or less sensitive.

8. Absolutely not.

11. Very much so. Even if it's not so mild.

12. Chris likes to edge her partner, to make her partner beg for it, and to hear her partner. Other than that, she doesn't have anything specific.

17. Chris is very much a nudist at home- she likes being only in her boxers.

18. Again, only boxers for the win. She doesn't like sleeping with clothes.

20. Very much so. It builds trust and intimacy. Like a cat showing you it's belly.

31. Loose boxer briefs, the pattern doesn't really matter.

32. Almost never, but when she needs to do laundry she rations her underwear for the week.

38. Chris really likes the look of another woman's genitals, she finds it attractive and fascinating.

41. She doesn't feel strongly about her butt either way. It's just there for her to sit on.

43. Chris doesn't have a preference really, but it's nice to have a smooth one once in a while.

54. The most public it ever got was in a bar bathroom.

58. Not at all, other than breathing and talking. It makes her feel uncomfortable with herself.

64. Hooking up with some girl and going to sneak out- and being caught by her high school principal which was the girl's dad.

67. Chris has been told she's very good by her many one night stands, yet she chooses to believe that every woman is different. You can be good for one and bad for another. So it's every case on its own.

69. Chris likes her shoulders and her abs. All of her top half, to be honest.

70. Her mythic scar.

71. Sometimes she's no better than a man. Chest and hips and ass. And a good smile is important too.

75. Yes and no. Usually she does it to weaken the person in her mind.

[demystifiedstardust]

Fictionhood and spicy art 🌶

There's another side of the art coin that didn't get addressed in my previous post, and it's worth talking about.

Cw 18+ discussion topic, real person shipping, tmi

I think I might be one of the only fictionfolk who doesn't mind seeing myself in NSFW artwork?

Gratuitous gore and gratuitous "whump" artwork (as the kids are calling it nowadays, shakes fist at cloud) do make me uncomfortable. But overall, NSFW does not ruffle my feathers at all. Important caveat, I'm great at maintaining a blacklist nowadays, so what would be truly objectionable stuff to me rarely makes it in front of my eyes in the first place.

If anything, it feels like something I shouldn't be peeking at, but totally will anyway, not unlike a cookie jar if the cookies were instead fap material... It feels taboo, but in a decadent, gleeful way. Doesn't really matter who the pairing, dynamic, or situation is; if it's consensual between adults and not personally a squick, I don't mind being Te//yvat's whore.

I mean, fuck, I've actually commissioned NSFW of my previous fictional identity... it goes beyond Te//yvat; I'm the universe's whore. The multiverse's whore? Regardless, for me it's a no-fault way to indulge in sexual fantasy.

I've never seen anyone express a sentiment like this before. Is it because fictionfolk trend younger? Or am I really the odd one out?

Maybe it's because I've been the target of real-person-shipping in my private life, which is... a really, really weird and intrusive experience, not gonna lie! Especially being rpf'd with my ex by a third party... people are fucking weird the way they get invested in other people's relationships like that, but eventually I stopped caring outside of risks to my personal safety. I truly do not give a damn anymore about people creating a love life for me in their heads. It's weird and gross, but inevitable.

Porn tropes I dislike aside, seeing softcore or hardcore art of my fictional self feels like the opposite side of the creep coin, even though logically maybe it shouldn't. It feels weirdly empowering? It feels good to be acknowledged as a sexual being. Gender doesn't play as much of a role here as it may seem, because I felt the same way about my very female previous identity. Like, fuck yeah, people want to acknowledge me as a sexual being!? People want to see me get fucked silly and maybe even cared for after, what!? They feel so strongly about it that they're drawing it?!?

It's done from a vantage point just offset enough from my unified, whole self that it loses the creepy intrusiveness of rpf while still letting me reap the benefit of "hey that's me!". Maybe it's because the intent is different. The artists who draw Aether_(Gen//shin_Im//pact) intend to draw their interpretation of Aether rather than a particular living person, and that intent is easily read for me. It's the best of both worlds--an ego boost and enjoyable fantasy without feeling intrusive of my privacy.

Wish there were more adult fictionfolk around to discuss this kind of thing with.

[transwolvie]

Also. Man. At the end of the day, people finding you and your kinks repugnant is not oppression.

Since a lot of people on Tumblr can't seem to wrap their minds around this wrt incest kinks or kinks/porn material involving minors, let's go with raceplay. Most people can at least grasp why people dislike raceplay.

If you are into raceplay, I do not want to see your kink content. I do not want you in my kink spaces because I see you as making the space unsafe for poc that may want to participate. I don't really want your kink content to be popular or widely disseminated, and I don't enjoy running into it in spaces that I have gone to in order to consume content for MY kinks, because I find this kink repulsive.

NONE OF THAT IS OPPRESSION OR CENSORSHIP.

Go make your OWN goddamn space to make your raceplay content. Whatever. I think you're fucking gross and I don't want it near me or spread around my circles, but that's as far as I'm able to go. I can't STOP you from liking that kink, even if I strongly think you probably shouldn't like it, cuz that's not how people work. I can't even stop you from making material for it or sharing it! The most I can do is try get that shit out of MY personal circles and the spaces that I want to keep safe from your shit.

Not only can I not stop you from having the kinks you have, I'm not super interested in that! Regardless of what I think is fucked up, your issues are your issues to handle or talk to your therapist about, and likewise if you don't see your kink as an issue at all... that's on you, it's YOUR kink. The issue is once it goes from being inside your head or between you and a partner to being in the open wide world where anyone in a given space (online, at a kink party, etc) can be subjected to it.

This shit also very clearly gets rid of the fake slippery slope people love to invoke. "Oh if these people hate us for shipping incest they'll hate you for your cnc kink" okay??? I'm perfectly fine with not bringing up or practicing cnc in spaces where people are like "that's not okay here because [insert WIDE VARIETY OF REASONS why someone might not like cnc]" because I can go indulge myself on my own time and don't feel the need to subject other people to my kink if it makes them fucking uncomfortable and it's a SHARED SPACE.

I don't know what's so fucking hard to grasp about this for a lot of you guys. If you're THAT dedicated to porn of underage characters go to 8chan, if you'll DIE without your incest ship go talk in a groupchat for it, etc. Just fuck off with subjecting fucking everyone, including people who are triggered or grossed out and begging for at least some fucking tags, to your kink.

[anamazingangie]

are there any kinks you WOULDN'T write at this point?

This is probably more answer than you wanted, anon, but I found this question quite thought provoking!

So when I started writing fanfic, it was for an incestuous pairing, Daemon Targaryen x Rhaenyra Targaryen / Daemyra. I shipped them in-spite of their relation, not because of it, so I was already kind of diving into uncomfortably deep waters.

I was like, I'll never lean into the fact they are related, though. And then I did just that in Predisposition.

Then I was like, well, they are just uncle/niece, so it's fine!

Then I wrote a prince is born and Rivalry where they were siblings.

But they aren't father daughter or anything, that would be gross.

Oops, wrote that too, it's a dream and it's a bit of a dance 

The latter of which is a dynamic I wouldn't have READ a year ago, much less expected to be writing. So this ship has really pushed my boundaries, lol.

Another example of that is my cheating fic Being Strong which is also a concept I typically hate in fanfic and wouldn't read. But then I had a prompt, I had an idea, and I had fun writing it.

I've written murderous behavior before in lots of fics, and noncon in Rogue Prince so I don't have issues writing behaviors I disagree with/don't condone, but I still had some limits.

When I entered a fic exchange in February my only "won't write" was pegging, and now I'm writing that into my crisis verse (Rhaenyra needs to peg Aegon in a fic, ok?).

I never planned on writing M/M because I don't have a penis, so that felt off limits. But now I'm doing that in the same series.

And then yesterday (what probably prompted this ask) I wrote bloodplay/period sex into closer to god  which is *not* a personal turn on for me.

So, I guess now I write about both things I haven't personally experienced sexually, and things I don't want to experience, and things I don't condone. Which makes every kink out there a plausible thing to write about.

That being said, I looked through a kink list last night and don't think these will make appearances in my fics-

Wax play (does nothing for me), electricity play (haven't tried it/couldn't describe it), hoods (strongly dislike the look), mummification (I just can't comprehend how this is sexy, so), anything to do with poop, group sex (hard to describe), phone sex (meh), and anything to do with ropes or suspension since I've never done it and don't think I could explain it.

But then again. WHO KNOWS!

[usagirln12003]

Miu Iruma: Hogwarts AU

Miu Iruma is a Pureblood witch that was born on the 16th of November 1982 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1994, being sorted into Ravenclaw House.

She had a Walnut wand with a Unicorn Hair Core.

Her Patronus was Non-Corporeal.

Her favorite subject was Potions and her least favorite subject was Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Miu is described as an oddball, having an overly confident, loud personality and a frighteningly sharp tongue. She considers herself a beautiful genius, and every time she opens her mouth she spews a parade of reckless vulgar remarks and insults, strongly putting pressure on others and looking down on them. She also tends to give other people insulting nicknames, and would routinely call them virgins.

However, Miu's arrogant personality seems to be only a mask that can drop fairly easily. This often happens when her festival of coarse language and dirty jokes actually get replied to or ignored. Then, her personality quickly changes into a timid coward, who is terrified of other people being angry with her. Because of this, she has a charm similar to an innocent child.

As an inventor, Miu is skilled but also an eccentric who treats her failed projects with the idea that "I transferred the rights to the company, so it's got nothing to do with me". She has made all kinds of amazing conveniences, but only deems her inventions as a success when they help the user to perform a task while sleeping (it's possible this is because she suffered from a coma in the past). She also has a habit to make very bizarre, seemingly pointless inventions which are sometimes very sexual in nature, including a "Hookup Counter" which tells how many people you've had sexual intercourse with, an "Auto-Puncher that Punches You for Telling Terrible Dirty Jokes", and a "Goin' Commando Gun" which can teleport underwear and only underwear. Nevertheless, Miu has also used her remarkable talent to make very useful inventions as well, though in most cases they were concepts created and requested by other students or something she created because she was bored. It is also shown that as an inventor, she firmly believes in science and finds Himiko's insistence in true sight and Angie's talk about it very annoying.

Miu comes off as very perverted and openly says bizarre, obscene things during her arrogant moods, meaning almost constantly. She often claims that she just says them to lighten up the mood, but they are very much disliked by the other students. Despite often trying to act dominant and appear sadistic, Miu is also masochistic and into BDSM, and acts very different during her weak-willed moments. Despite her usual arrogant behavior, she seems very uncomfortable if other people actually act very submissive towards her, like when Kaede and Shuichi begged for her help and she began to sweat nervously and agreed just to make them stop (though she later claimed that the situation turned her on). She has many kinks, some of which she seems to casually admit, including bondage and hot wax. She appears to have some sort of fetish for machines as well, at one point speaking suggestively about a computer, and she is also very much attracted to the house-elf Keebo. Furthermore, the last time she hung out with Shuichi, she tries to give him a pie with a piece of her hair in it. She also baked cookies with her fingernails and made chocolate with her blood as ingredients. Disturbingly, she says that she wants the person she loves to eat a little piece of her, which might show how even though she acts strange at times, she doesn't want people to be grossed out by her.

Despite her penchant for calling her classmates virgins, openness about her kinks, and tendency to make obscene remarks, it is suggested that Miu actually is a virgin herself; she scolds Kiyo for "bragging about [his] perfect love life", implying that her own love life is unsuccessful, if not nonexistent, and she gets extremely defensive when Kokichi tries to suggest that Miu is a virgin. When she mistakenly thought that they were on a date, Miu awkwardly gives Shuichi permission to have his way with her, suggesting that in spite of all her sexual comments and jokes, she has never faced a serious opportunity for sex. It is also suggested that Miu wants love and not just sex, and the "date" with Shuichi is based on a childhood friend romance (contrary to Shuichi's expectations). Miu would also insist on being offered a romantic gesture before going further. Lastly, in her fifth year, before she was murdered, Miu becomes lovesick for Shuichi because he stopped her from disemboweling herself, suggesting that Miu would fall in love with anyone who is at least somewhat affectionate towards her.

Miu has a very cowardly and self-centered personality, immediately looking for excuses to be absent from the murder investigations after being reminded that she would be killed with everyone else if they reach the wrong conclusion. Also, despite her amazing inventive genius, she is rather dumb when it comes to other matters, being usually ignored by the other people during the investigations. During investigations, she generally spouts out whatever theories come to her mind at the moment without thinking them through, and she can make rather unwise decisions and actions. Because of this, Himiko has described her as "really smart, but also really, really dumb". She is generally not liked in the group that is forced to participate in Tsumugi's killing game, and according to Kokichi, she is the least well-liked person of the group after him. During the investigation of her murder, many students admitted that they probably wouldn't have been friends with her if they hadn't been forced into this killing game.

Despite her timid personality, she genuinely believed her bragging, thinking she can change the world with her inventions and that she is truly important to humanity. When she started her fifth year, she began to break down after finding out about the previous killing games at Hogwarts and became obsessed with potions, seemingly to let herself and the other students escape the harsh reality. In truth, she planned to use her potions skills to murder Kokichi and claimed her motive was to escape and make the world a better place after the massive destruction caused by the fourth Wizarding War which had begun. However, despite her negative relationship with Kokichi and her generally callous attitude towards the others' lives during the killing game, she appeared very uncomfortable with the idea of killing him when the time actually came. When she confronted him, she ignored his usual joking and nervously stuttered with a perpetually sad expression, quickly telling him to just give up and apologizing for what she's about to do. Her face turned more and more sad and stressed as she explained it was her only chance and she had to take it for the world's sake, sincerely appearing remorseful. However, Kokichi later pointed out to Gonta that it was just a poor excuse and she really did attempt to murder him regardless of what she said.

At one point, it's revealed that Miu was convinced she was an augmented human as a result of surviving a coma and a surgery, claiming it made her head full of ideas, gave her completely new skills and changed her personality that used to be way more ordinary. She has been shown to act in a self-destructive manner at times, believing she cannot be harmed nor killed in the same ways as ordinary humans. Once, she even attempted to disembowel herself with a wrench because she believed that her superhuman powers were literally inside her and she wanted to study them. When Shuichi first meet her, it's also heavily implied by her own words that she had a tendency to use powerful hallucinogenic drugs in highly stressful situations, to make herself forget all about it. When she much later talked to Shuichi in her usual odd manner, Shuichi felt worried and suspected that she might be on drugs.

In a conversation with Kokichi during their third year, Miu was also shown to suffer from trust issues and fear of betrayal after everything that's happened in the killing game. Regardless of the great advantage that her inventions gave the group, she was completely unwilling to team up with the others to fight the mastermind, believing that a betrayal was inevitable. Her "date" with Shuichi also implies she might suffer from strong abandonment issues. The aforementioned event and her behavior towards the first years might also indicate that she has a motherly side. According to Kaede, Miu may have trouble with communication because she has never had any friends, and her aforementioned "date" being based on a childhood friend romance suggests that Miu is secretly very lonely. According to Keebo, Miu is a good, caring person and has natural innocence hidden deep inside her, despite how she appears on the outside, and it's implied that she acted like her true self in Keebo's company.

[ohmydamgods]

Riordanverse Opinions I refuse to budge on:

Hot takes part three?? Ig?? These aren’t hot takes at all at this point and if you know me you’ve probably heard me talk about these points multiple times

The punch line for Leo in ToA was atrocious. There was nothing funny about it and the entire scene was just uncomfortable not to mention down right stupid.

Calypso should’ve joined the hunters instead of Reyna. She didn’t necessarily need a romantic relationship, just connection. She clearly has a strong sense of family and it would’ve done her good to see the world while in a sisterhood

Rick literally made Calypso almost stupid and helpless for absolutely no reason?? I’m not sure if anyone else remembers in the dark prophecy when she kicked that metal monster and got hurt and then immediately punched it and broke her hand but why. Then she literally was forced to hobble with her boyfriend and Lester. Literally why would she do that. I’m not really a giant fan of her, but Rick giving one of the most feminine characters no fighting ability and then removing her powers gives me the ick.

He probably did it to make Leo seem like a better, caring boyfriend. which is also stupid. Despite all the many issues with Caleo, we know both of them care about each other. Calypso didn’t need to look stupid to show that Leo cares about her

I like the idea of having a Greek version of New Rome. I had no idea that some people were so strongly against it but I think it’s cool and fun

People who go into whole rants about why Annabeth is so much smarter than Leo are annoying 💀

I think the fact that Annabeth was afraid of Percy in Tartarus was dumb. I’ve heard so many arguments against it because ‘it reminded her of Luke’ or ‘she was scared for him’ etc, but I still think Annabeth would never be scared of him considering their history and his fatal flaw

I really dislike the whole little plot with Percy and Annabeth being uncomfortable with Tyson. I get how it was supposed to be read, but it came off really weird

This isn’t really an opinion but we should look into why so many Annabeth anti’s ship Lukercy or Pernico. If you hate Annabeth whatever I disagree, but the Annabeth anti to Lukercy/pernico pipeline is weird

I like widely beloved Camp counselor!Annabeth much better than widely beloved Camp counselor!Percy. Annabeth is the camp sweetheart and Percy is that one counselor who only a select few trust because everyone finds them intimidating

It’s very interesting to me that people widely disliked Lester x Reyna (as they should) but are still okay with Calypso x Leo even though it’s practically the same thing

When criticizing characters theres so much to think about. Yeah ig you can say Piper has internalized misogyny but then you have to remember Piper might not like dresses and makeup because the way native women are over-sexualized. Same with other characters. Call out Leo’s gross behavior but remember that the way Rick wrote him includes lots of gross Latin stereotypes

Chiron is annoying as hell 💀 pisses me off now that im rereading

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

What’s your top ten list of most disliked mha characters

Hmmm… let’s go down the list.

First he ones I dislike but don’t really feel so strongly about it.

10. Miss Joke: I only dislike her because of the fact she keeps asking Aizawa out despite being rejected. Like that’s just… no. Don’t do that. That’s wrong.

9. Death Arms: He’s a dick and he blows smoke in the face of people he’s sitting with. I kinda think of him as like very much someone in it only for the game and he’s never really going to change. (And the fact he just retired because of criticism is me sighing.) he’s more an annoyance to me then anything.

8. Kendo: I don’t know why but I’m not a huge fan of her. Her constant hitting of Monoma is a joke and I know that but like… I sort of picture her as a ‘I’m to mature and I’m so cool’ sort of person. She seems nice but like… I dunno.

7. Uwabami: her usage of hero interns for commercials and her being very focused on image is not good. I honestly also think she’s just in it for fame.

6. All for One. I… don’t think there’s anything I need to put here.

And now ones I dislike very much.

5. Hero commission president/people on charge of that program. Gross, disgusting. Go screw yourselves.

4. Endeavour. Abuse is gross and while I understand forgiving and moving on the way they’re setting it up with Dabi being so dramatically opposed, I get uncomfortable vibes about him.

3. Mineta. Enough said.

2. Sir Nighteye. He’s a dick to Izuku because All Might isn’t listening to Sir about All Might’s fucking Quirk? Fuck you.

1. Bakugou, to no ones surprise.

[wherestoriescomefrom]

hey!! this is about anuja chauhan and i think you are spot on! i think she has very upper cast feminism tendencies and i once saw her post something terfy as well...and this shows in her books.

in the house the bj built there is a line where eshwari says that she wanted to take a working class man and bathe him and make love to him and it was SO GROSS...and i think that is the extent of her feminism.

those pricey thakur girls worked for me politically cos she didnt have to criticise people like herself and was criticising a vague Bid Bad.

i was extremely uncomfortable in battle for bittora especially with jini excusing her grandmothers bigotry and asking zain to simply get over everything the latter said....its also interesting that zain was as or even more elite than jini and is one of her two non-upper caste hindu heroes, same with dylan. i also side eye her for the whole 'zain running on the fake b*p ticket'

as for club you to death, i disliked everyone in that book except the cop. the hero was not great but i do think she caricaturised people like herself well.

i feel like she works if she stays in her lane but everytime she tries to do something seemingly radical it isnt great, but i havent come across any romcom authors like her in india so theres that...

you've basically hit the nail on the head, that when she's staying in her lane its not so bad - but every time she tries to do something radical, she messes up pretty strongly. i liked both those pricey thakur girls and the house that bj built because they were so funny, and of course, the politics was graspable and largely within her lane (i remember that line by eashwari. ew.). one thing i have noticed however, is that she is AWARE that the idiosyncracies she writes about are upper caste. when the five aunts are at the police station in the house that bj built, she says that the police didn't know how to deal with so many upper caste women. like yeah, there is a level of self awareness there. she tends to aestheticise the commentary she has on rich delhi, but she is AWARE of it.

in Club You to Death i think this is most obvious. that part where she talks about the school, TVVS? i s2g, that was a dig on TSRS, the shri ram moulsari school. GENUINELY, like the names of the girls being tia pia gia also??? ALSO SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK I GUESS but the way in which bambi todi did the murder???? yeah 100% i can see a girl from TSRS doing that. like the thoughtless way in which she kills the man, the number of murders she does to cover it up, failing her way upwards into accidentally almost getting away with it. hapless but cold murder. yeah checks out.

chauhan also mostly got the satirisation of the gymkhana club correctly. where she fails i think is thinking that these upper caste spaces provide any meaningful resistance to hindutva. i just DIDN'T buy that the members of her DTC club were called anti nationals in this universe?????? after being called anti national every single family gathering by vivek fufaji who is actual real life member of delhi gymkhana, i simply DO NOT BUY that these people are meant to provide a barrier to increasing saffronisation. especially because hindutva isn't always orange yogi adityanath's. its very often businessmen and vanguards of the old order wearing three piece suits.

but the biggest flaw of the book was how much it overstates the space taken up by upper caste people in the minds of those who are not as objects of envy. the victim of the case is supposed to be somewhat obsessed with the club members, extorting them but wanting to be part of them or whatever. he's framed as half a villain himself, and again - i just don't buy it. i DON'T think non upper caste people are that obsessed with being upper caste, i doubt they want to be a part of whatever we offer in a cultural sense, and its really disingenuous to make it out like that instead of pointing at the root of the problem, which is wealth inequality. someone WOULD murder if they had a single source of income and their boss cut their pay, they won't do it because they hate their boss for hosting garden parties and not inviting them. i think. i haven't been part of any murders as a victim or a perpetrator so thats the extent of my knowledge 😔😔😔

idk, maybe im completely off base. the police officer was wonderful tho, i really liked both him and his wife.

and like you said, there really isn't a romance writer like her in india. i think she generally means well, and for what its worth she comes for public demonstrations from time to time. she just gets things wrong pretty often, just the perils of being upper caste in some senses. god she's GOOD at writing romance, like she really is, she sells you on the couple.

anyway thank u for such a detailed ask!!!

[vicennon]

(long post ahead just completely fucking skip this if you don't wanna read my subjective opinion on literally every single flavor of sans in the universe)

introducing the vi scale of touch-repulsed vs. touch-starved sanses

big number = more touchy

small number = no touchy

Nightmare - Is outright disgusted if you try to hold his hand but will tolerate it for five seconds at a time before flinging you into the sun (He feels like Gak anyway)

Dream - Village treatment lead to a lot of hugs and physical affection, so he's not necessarily opposed to the occasional hug or kiss - but not especially receptive. He'll hug you back, but try not to overwhelm him. He likes to have his space respected. (It's not because he dislikes you! He just doesn't... feel like it!)

Ink - Will taunt you for trying anything with him other than the occasional hug unless it is all prompted by himself. Teases a lot if you complain. (ex. "Wow, you're a simp!" "Jeez, we're a little touchy today!" "Gross, cooties!" "Are you trying to give me the cheese touch...?")

Error - Is neutral with close proximity, but it takes him a long time to grow adjusted at all. Strongly prefers not to touch at all, and will only ever initiate very rarely. If you commentate on it, he'll become very upset and draw away. (Being that he has haphephobia, it's a little iffy putting him on the list at all, considering that his condition would wholeheartedly affect his touch sensitivity. I usually write his haphephobia as painful and anxiety-inducing, so I'm basing this purely on personality and his experience with haphephobia.)

Fell/Red - He's not... opposed. Just neutral. But like... that's not an invitation. Can easily get irritated if you try to touch him too often without his permission. Does accept cuddles.

Swap/Blue - The perfectly room temperature touch-oriented person. A true neutral. But leans towards being more receptive towards physical affection. He's more into cooking or time spent together as a display of affection, though.

Dust - On the same level of neutrality as Swap, but is further inclined towards a consistent hand-holding experience. Can come off as a little bit clingy if you're squinting. He likes to be close, or nearby - to feel your body heat or to just brush his hand against yours. Is afraid of rejection or coming off too clingy, so he often restrains himself and gives others the impression that he hates being touched.

Fresh - Almost true neutral, but leans towards being more receptive. I wanted to put him on the more touch-repulsed end of the scale, but I think he could probably fluctuate quite a bit between wanting and being upset by unsolicited touching. When he's in the mood, he'll be very physically affectionate and lounge all over you. With his height, it's easy to sling his arms around you and waddle around behind you. However, when he's not in the mood to be touched, he'll express it very visibly and become uncomfortable. He's more often receptive than not.

Horror - Seems like he'd kind of be a hug bear or something, but just takes whatever he can get. Like a black hole. If you decide you want to sit on the couch and hug him for several hours, he'll stay right there and enjoy it.

Sans/Classic - Same deal as Horror - but with more sloth involved. Will initiate contact by dragging you into the clutches of the soft and cozy couch like an octopus. Sits on people to keep them from moving, much like a very boney housecat. Mildly inconveniences everyone who crosses his path.

Fellswap/Swapfell - (There's so many variations, I'm sorry FS/SF fans) Generally neutral, but receptive and likes to flick you. Pinches you if you're distracted. Enjoys hugs but doesn't like to hold them for too long. He has too many things to do right now!! If you try to keep him in one place for an extended period of time, he'll grow very irritated and flail about like a fish. He is physically capable of throwing you out a window, don't irk him.

Outer - Is extremely chilled out and a great pillow. Couch time 24/7. Becomes comfortable literally anywhere. He doesn't initiate often if ever, but likes to hold your hand a lot. Can stay holding it for half the day, if you let him.

G - Likes to be casually touchy, but if you commentate on it, he'll get even more touchy. Like a reverse anemone. It's partially to inconvenience you, and partially because he's smug and possessive. (ex. "G, I have to go get my order from the counter, you gotta let go of me." "Oh?" G proceeds to cling, making you drag him with you to the McDonald's cash register. It's embarrassing the first few times, but you can tell him to knock it off and he'll listen.)

Lust - He's a very physically affectionate person - all cheek kisses and absentminded holds, or slinging an arm around your waist to dance with you while you chat. If you let him, he'll carry you around completely unbothered. Fireman carry, over the shoulder, under the arm like a sack of potatoes, holding you like a koala - he's deceptively strong.

Dance - Also a very physically affectionate and deceptively strong person; likes to have his hands innocently placed somewhere on your person. Kind of like he's waiting to start ballroom dancing at any moment, or to throw you into a spin when he's looking for some entertainment. Likes to stand hip-to-hip with an arm around your waist. Slings his arm around your shoulder a lot.

Farmer - Same deal as Horror, but is far more consistent and casual with his touching. Enjoys doing the "wrap from behind" thing, like a backwards hug. If you're both walking to the same spot, he'll take your hand and swing it around wildly to make you laugh. He also likes to hip bump you and give tiny little kisses anywhere he can reach easily.

Epic - Same deal as Sans/Classic - but initiates more often! Surprise hug! Surprise hand grab! Surprise secret handshake! Surprise... kiss? Often devolves into meme-ish shenanigans afterward, like going in for a romantic moment to fake you out with a rubber chicken.

Killer - Is very comfortable with touching and comes off as clingy sometimes. He likes to put his stinky socks in your lap if you're on the couch, or use people as pillows when there's space for him to be touching them. If you're shorter than him, he'll make himself comfortable putting all his weight on your upper half so you might fall over. He'll laze around anywhere and purposefully seeks out people who have things to do and pin them to the floor so he can absorb the body heat out of them. Wildly inconveniences everyone he sees. Will invade your room to take up your entire bed.

Cross - Acts like he doesn't need anyone or any hugs or whatever. "Psshh, who needs hand-holding..." But he's so touch-starved that just being close to him makes him get all gross and gooey inside. Brushes that off too. "Pshh, I'm Cross, I'm too cool for hugs and kisses... but maybe just this once..." Also, he has a body pillow of his idol (who is anyone - cartoon superhero, popstar, his boss, his boss's brother, etc. etc.) Outright denies that he needs you to hold his hand, but only pushes anyone away if someone else is looking. If you're casual with him, he'll slowly start seeking out physical affection like a very shy fish.

i can't think of anyone else right now so send an ask if you want to hear about whoever else you got on the mind

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #378

“come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be”

Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. How long will you try out something you don’t enjoy before giving up on it? It really depends, but in most cases, admittedly very quickly. What’s something you recently realized or discovered about yourself? *shrug* What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? Not in a good way really, but it was certainly interesting to learn I have such severe sleep apnea. Like, I was certain I didn't. The most depressing would be uhhhh... I guess Jason's mother's death, but I don't know how "recent" you'd consider that by now. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It depends. Some beliefs I absolutely would not tolerate (like anti-LGBT), others I would just agree to disagree with. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to get better at controlling my mouth when I'm extremely upset. Do you use a photo editor? I use Lightroom and Photoshop for photography. Is your dad overweight? No, I think he's actually underweight. Ever been honked at? Yes. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Easton, I think? An old middle school friend had him. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yes, but they never work for me. How did your parents pick your name? I dunno. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Man, I get chills easily with music. David Draiman from Disturbed, his cover of "Sound of Silence" is BREATHTAKING. That's number one. There are many others, they're just not coming to me at the moment. Do you have a drone? No. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. I got some crazy hot sauce. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. How long did your shortest relationship last? Like a day lmao. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? A POOL!!!! I've talked before about how I want one so, SO very badly to exercise my legs without having to worry about sweat, and I can take a break the very moment I need to. Do you own a Snuggie? Yeah, somewhere. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? Yeah, quite a few on YouTube, but my favorite in Jonathan Young. He is SO damn talented. Who is your favorite video game character? Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill franchise. What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? Mostly of my pets lmao. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? No. I know I'd never stick to it. Do you prefer to watch a documentary that is about a situation/event or a documentary that is more of a personal character study/biography? The latter. Meerkat Manor comes to mind with that, and everyone knows how much I adore that show. There was also one about rhesus macaques I fell in love with. Basically, I love animal docs, haha. Can you think of a recent time in which you might have been better off resisting, but you did something because you “just couldn’t help yourself”? Probably eating something. When you are getting to know someone, do you tend to worry that the other person will lose interest in you once they get to know the “real” you? Yyyyep. What is something that you would like to do, but really aren’t able to because of your location? (e.g., see art or get a certain job) Man, a lot of things. Photograph meerkats is a biggie. What sort of job do you think is best suited for your skills? Is this an in-demand position or something you’re unlikely to actually get? If I could actually handle the heat and was in good shape to traverse the outdoors, I think I'd be a great wildlife biologist. Even more though, if I could beat my social anxiety, I would ADORE being an animal educator with kids. Do you believe it is the responsibility of businesses, or prominent business leaders (think Bill Gates) to take the lead on social issues whether by using their influence or their money? Saying it's their "responsibility" sounds unfair and puts a lot of weight on their shoulders, but I do feel they should by their own volition and kindness use their position for good, such as through monetary assistance and other things. Have you ever gone to a job interview and realized that you didn’t want the job? Yep. Have you ever asked that someone sacrifice something (a habit, relationship, job, etc.) for you? A habit, yes. Looking back it was stupid as shit. What would you call your body type? Ew. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Considering I spend them with my sister's bigoted, homophobic, and racist in-laws, not especially. I always feel very uncomfortable and disliked among everyone for being the "black sheep" among 'em. Is your vision good? God no. Even with my glasses, it's very poor. I need a new prescription badly. Do both of your parents have jobs? Mom has something of the sort, like she cleans a local church for a small pay, but it's not really a "job." She's still recovering from cancer, getting her strength back up and such before she can handle a consistent job. Dad's had a job for as long as I've lived. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? How heteronormative. But whatever. It's so fucking cheesy, but singing a cute song to me while slowdancing sounds so super adorable to me. What food are you craving right now? I am craving something sweet like you wouldn't believe. It's annoying. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes, but most are very negligible. I just scar extremely easily. Last person you saw other than your family? My primary doctor. Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? The The Lion King remake. Who was the last person you played a video game with? Ummm I think Girt. Last game you played at an arcade? Zero clue. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? I THINK I particularly liked "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider?" None stand out strongly, though. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don’t have a favorite cousin. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? I think with a friend to prevent loneliness, but at the very same time, I see a great beauty in traveling on your own. Just taking new things in, seeing so many different cultures, beautiful scenery... I feel it'd be a great chance for exploration of insight. Remind yourself how small you are, that there's a much, much bigger picture than your own problems, that people are so unique but hopefully share common morals... I see a lot of poetry in it. Do you like the smell of coffee? It's one of my favorite smells. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I can't possibly pick. I watch literally hundreds on deviantART, and many of them absolutely blow my mind. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? My lack of a career. Outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus? Well, online ones for writing. When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I envy her confidence, like gotdamn girl. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Are you on a laptop or desktop? A laptop. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Domino's or Little Caesar's. What was the name of the last dog you pet? We've been calling the dog we're holding right now Zoe. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Yes. Have you ever seen the White House? I don't think so, but it's possible I have when we've driven up to New York, but from a distance. How about Niagara Falls? No. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? I just like regular iceberg lettuce with some bacon bits and ranch. Man, that sounds good right about now. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah, Metallica and Marilyn Manson. Do you think it’d be cool to have your body mummified after you die? No. I couldn't rock the mummy look even if I tried, haha. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish & an Irish accent? Not really, no. Can you read music? I used to be able to. Do you work the night shift? I don’t have a job, but if I did, I absolutely do not want to work the night shift anywhere. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? Yes. Is your mother diabetic? Are you? She is, but I'm not. Would you like to learn how to make ceramic pottery? It'd be cool, sure. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who did you last kiss? My cat. Why did you last lie? I don't recall. Probably to just avoid confrontation with Mom. What do you put on your hamburgers? Cheese, ketchup, and mustard, generally. Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. Have you ever sent a dirty picture? No. What’s at the center of your dining table? Honestly, we sit in there so rarely that I don't even know. I think we might have nothing, actually. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you like being outside? If it's cool, yes. What’s your favourite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Or honey mustard. Who sang/played the last song you listened to? Chris Motionless is the singer of Motionless In White. I don't know if that's his real last name, though. Do you like yoga? I used to. Now all the bending and shit would make me dizzy as hell with my "how are you still alive" level of low blood pressure. Do you always carry breath mints? No, but I do carry Tictacs with me, but they're for my dry mouth. It forces you to salivate, so it helps. What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? I don't really know. I honestly don't even know how it looks inside. Thinking about it, I'd probably be more scared than anything, waiting for a bomb to drop or some shit lmao. Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? OH MY GOD I LOVED those!!! I definitely did! Have you ever thrown a game controller (or the game) and broke it? No, I've never been the type to do that. If I'm SERIOUSLY getting mad, all I do is tighten my grip. Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? Yes. Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? I believe so. What movie were you really worked up for that ended up disappointing you? My answer is Warcraft, but only because the fucking orcs' voices were so baritone that I couldn't understand them almost ever lmaooo. Like I had a mild idea of what was going on because of the game, but still. What part of a paper is hardest for you to write? The intro, or the conclusion. Both are difficult to me. Like I want to compose a gripping beginning as well as an end that doesn't just repeat everything I've already said and ends on a strong note. Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? No. KFC Chicken: original or extra crispy? I don't like fried chicken. Think about your first kiss. Did you have any idea what you were doing? I mean, I guess? Like I'd seen kisses enough to know how to give someone a peck. It just came naturally. Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? Not just for the toy, but it's the main thing I wanted, sure. Have you ever seen your parents cry? If so, how did it make you feel? Seeing my mom cry absolutely destroys me. I don't want her to hurt EVER. Especially if it's seriously unfair bullshit that has her upset, I also get very angry (not at her, of course) and protective. I've seen Dad tear up once, back when he was telling us about his mother's funeral, and I felt immense surprise more than anything. He does NOT cry. How do you feel about animal testing? It's fucking disgusting and barbaric. Find a different goddamn way. Do you add condiments to your ice cream, or just eat it plain? If I'm having vanilla, I'll usually add chocolate syrup. Have you ever witnessed a crime? Yes. What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I'm forever gonna get a kick out of this one that just said "omw," haha.

[ninasfireescape]

The ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ review no one asked for

I wanted to enjoy it. I really did.

I was one of the people who didn’t dislike The Last Jedi. Sure, I didn’t love it. When I watched it, I thought it was too long and had made certain characters choices I wasn’t too happy with, but overall it was enjoyable and left me feeling satisfied. It was not as good as The Force Awakens however and hearing JJ Abrams was returning, I thought he might be able to restore the final episode to its former glory.

That indeed seemed like the case for the first hour. The gang were back together, it was quick-paced, I had an emotional investment in what was going on (and it seemed like they were taking the Finnrey route I wanted them too). I couldn’t exactly follow every plot specific but does that really matter in Star Wars when it’s so exciting? The bit on Star Killer base was genuinely inspired, I was laughing away at once again what terrible shots the stormtroopers were and at Hux being the spy. Every scene with Lando in was gold.

It was just after they got to the water planet that things started to go wrong. I’m not sure quite what it was exactly that made it so disappointing from this point onwards. Perhaps the gang splitting up or the rather horrifically done Leia death scene. I know they didn’t really have much choice with what footage they had but having watched each member of the original trio died, this death was devoid of emotion and predictable. And she died to make Kylo Ren hesitate for one moment. What a waste!

Then the pointless force ghosts! Seeing Luke was nice but it felt like he was just there to add clunky explanation since the plot made so little sense at this point. And when Han appeared, I actually laughed. It was so inconsistent with the tone of the film and he appeared all while Kylo Ren was standing in the middle of a stormy sea that he could fall into at any moment, right in the most climactic section of the film, just to have a conversation with the son who killed him! It was the most outrageous example of a fan service cameo that just didn’t assimilate with the rest of the film.

I don’t actually have a problem with Rey Palpatine. If anything, I thought it was really cool she was a Palpatine. I really didn’t want her to be a Skywalker because I felt it would be predictable and repetitive. Her being a Palpatine also sends the message to young viewers that blood relations don’t make a family which I think is very important for children to hear. Honestly, the only problem I have with it is that it means some poor lady had sex with Palpatine. I agree that it was a ridiculous retcon of The Last Jedi but then I didn’t like the reveal about her parents in TLJ anyway because of how it was executed. Another thing that bothers me about it is the utter lack of information we get about Villanelle Rey’s mother. Already we don’t know much about her father other than that he’s Palpatine’s son but with her mother, we get nothing. With Rey having wondered about who her parents were for so long, surely it would make sense for her to want to know more about her mother and maybe even take her surname in place of ‘Palpatine’. I also firmly believe Rey’s mother should have been played by Hayley Atwell because she looks so much like Daisy Ridley. And while Jodie Comer is an amazing actress, I think 1. She deserves a bigger role in the Star Wars franchise and 2. Her casting as Rey’s mother exemplifies Hollywood’s fear of casting older actresses as mothers. A twenty six year old as a mother!?

About Zurii, I always appreciate new female characters in Star Wars and I thought she had a great design. However, it is blatantly clear what her purpose in the film was. It was to stop people calling Poe gay, inserting a female character for one scene (she barely spoke in her other scenes so I’m not counting those) with no backstory of her own, just to prove he is attracted to women. Well, first of all, he can be bi, secondly, that’s not going to stop people shipping Finnpoe at all. I didn’t clock until afterwards when I saw people talking about it online, but it was super problematic to make Poe a former drug dealer. Sure, the only Latino character in this trilogy. Also, it in general complicates the little we know about Poe’s backstory so far.

With Rose, all our worst fears were confirmed. She just wasn’t there. She appeared in a couple of scenes and had some lines but you’d think she was no more than another miscellaneous rebel, no more significant a role than Billie Lourd’s character. Did they really give into the white fanboy pressure? How could they erase Rose when she was such a good character? She was tough and fought strongly for her beliefs, but she was also compassionate, sensitive. Now, I never particularly shipped Finn and Rose in TLJ. I thought it seemed a bit of a rushed romance and Finn didn’t seem that invested in the kiss they shared. However, you can’t just pretend they didn’t kiss in the last film. They interacted a few times but there was no sense of any bond between them. Where there relationship stood was unclear. Were they now a couple or had they had an offscreen conversation where they decided they were better off as friends? Who knows?

And now onto the worst part of the film: Kylo Ren and more specifically that kiss. Gross. Okay, to be clear, I wasn’t entirely opposed to a redemption arc for Kylo Ren. Sure, it would be predictable, but it’s not like Kylo Ren’s crimes are any worse than those of Darth Vader and he was still capable of redemption. I liked Kylo Ren as a villain. He perfectly depicted that type of whiny, entitled white man who we see so commonly in real life, but again, he could have achieved some redemption if it were implemented correctly. What we got in the film was not this. He was still committing genocide at the start and carried out one good deed which was saving the woman he had a crush on. For this one good act, he was entirely forgiven and somehow all of the genocide wasn’t his fault. And he got rewarded with the woman! If anything, I’d call that act selfish since he only wanted to save the woman he liked. Adam Driver did the best he could with it but everything about it was awful. And it was out of character for Rey to kiss him and forgive him. She stabbed him little more than half an hour earlier! At the end of the last film, she slammed a door in his face. It makes no sense to me how she could suddenly be so invested in him becoming a better person. There’s also the fact that wasn’t included in the films that Rey and Kylo Ren are related (aunt and nephew to be exact). I wasn’t aware this was Game of Thrones! And according to Wookiepedia, Rey was 18 at the start of the films and is now 20 whereas Kylo Ren is now 30. A ten year age different would be fine if Rey were older but at this point, the age gap is uncomfortable and very borderline.

If they’re going to make the claim that it wasn’t actually Kylo Ren who was doing the evil deeds but some dark force corrupting him, they should have explained how the mechanism works. At least in the prequels, we got some sense of Anakin slowly being corrupted. To me, it reads like in some horror films when the abusive characters are found to have been possessed by demons or something. It trivializes abuse which is something very real, acting instead as if no abusers can actually be responsible for their actions and it is the cause of some supernatural force instead. I suppose the kiss doesn’t have to mean anything. After all, Leia and Luke kissed in the original trilogy and Finn and Rose kissed and apparently that meant nothing.

I firmly believe the series intended a Finn and Rey romance. Lest we forget The Force Awakens, Finn awkwardly asking Rey if she had a boyfriend. That was clear coding for him having a crush on her. In that film, the two developed such a strong bond, and they have so much more chemistry than Rey and Kylo Ren ever had. All the scenes with Rey and Finn (and Poe) were full of light and emotion. The scene at the end where the three of them hugged was honestly the high point of the film. Now, when I left the cinema, what was plaguing my mind the most was that throughout the film, Finn had a secret he wanted to tell Rey. It was first suggested when they thought they were going to die in the quicksand. “Wait, Rey, I never told you!” It had to be that he loved her. What else could it be? Supposedly, it was that he was force sensitive. I don’t believe that for one second. If he needed to tell her that, why couldn’t Poe be included? And why did he never get the chance to tell her? It was a build-up I got invested in with no payoff. It must have been that he loved her. So, if that was the case, that leaves us with two options. Either there was a Finnrey subplot that got cut but they forgot to cut these scenes out (or simply couldn’t be bothered to), or they thought it would be funny to have the black supposed male lead chasing after the white female lead who didn’t love him back because she was instead in love with the genocidal white villain. I ship Finnrey so much and find the second option so horrific but I wouldn’t put it past the writers. Finn played such a significant role in the first half of the film, as he should since he’s meant to be the male lead in the series, but after that, he was dangerously underutilized. At least the ending where no one ends up with each other is compliant with my headcanon that Rey, Finn and Poe (and I don’t mind Rose being in the mix too) all end up married to each other and adopt a bunch of porgs.

And lastly, the lesbian scene. Pathetic. We don’t know the character names and I can’t even find out who the actresses were that played them. Okay, they kissed which is a pretty big deal (even though kisses apparently mean nothing in Star Wars) and it’s certainly a step forward from the Avengers: Endgame ‘’’’representation’’’’, but it’s still rather useless considering the big deal JJ Abrams made about how there would be representation.

[tlbodine]

A Decade of Horror Recommendations: Millennium Edition

After my 2010s horror recs post, @comicreliefmorlock asked me to do some for older films. So I figured I’d just work my way backward. 

The lists might get a bit shorter and less diverse as I go back in time as I’m not as well-versed in older horror films, but I’ll toss out some recommendations for what I’ve seen and maybe some will be new to you anyway :)

Long post under the cut! 

2000: A Surprisingly Good Year for Horror 

Maybe we don’t think of the Y2K year as a big one for the horror genre, but it was still riding the tail end of the slasher/teen horror revival. Some must-sees:

Final Destination: I’ve written pretty extensively about this movie and it’s no surprise that I like it a lot, even if the sequels get downright ridiculous. The original still stands on its own feet. 

Ginger Snaps: Maybe one of the best werewolf movies, period. Smart writing and a strong female cast as an added bonus. 

American Psycho: Did you know this came out in 2000? I honestly always thought it was older, somehow, maybe because by the time I watched it in college it seemed like everyone had seen it. Fun fact: did you know it was directed by a woman? 

What Lies Beneath: Part psychological horror, part drama-thriller, and sporting a surprisingly A-list cast. It has some well-worn tropes, but it’s a solid watch. 

Battle Royale: Speaking of movies that seem like they’re way older than they are, did you know Battle Royale only came out in the year 2000? 

There were a smattering of Asian imports in 2000 but none of them quite got their feet under them. I will make a shout-out/honorable mention here for Blood: The Last Vampire, an anime film that’s pretty well-known and gets referenced a lot. 

2001: The Beginning of the End (for a little while)

Some solid stand-alone titles came out this year, but it also was the start of when the 90s revival started to dwindle down, I feel, with plenty of disappointments to go around. Scary Movie didn’t help much (and it also launched a whole trend of really awful spoof movies, which tried real hard to kill the comedy genre for a long time, imo). Anyway, some recs! 

Jeepers Creepers: The director is an unfortunate sack of shit, but the movie is quite good. The first part, which draws heavily from a true story, is especially chilling. 

Thirteen Ghosts: An underrated gem. The plot twists too much for my liking, but the ghost designs are super cool and the whole concept of the house is neat. A+ for originality. 

The Devil’s Backbone: Maybe my favorite Guillermo Del Toro film, and a damn good ghost story to boot. 

Suicide Club: A Japanese import that feels a bit ahead of its time in terms of pop culture (and internet culture especially). Features a couple of squick-heavy scenes I still struggle to watch (but, like, in a good way). 

Ichi the Killer: Another Japanese import and my introduction to Takashi Miike, who makes me more viscerally uncomfortable than just about anyone. 

It’s also probably worth mentioning From Hell, the Johnny Depp movie about Jack the Ripper, which many people enjoyed. I personally strongly dislike the film for reasons I can’t fully explain. 

2002: Wait, That’s When That Movie Came Out? 

I feel like 2002 was a big year for me in the “movies I enjoy but didn’t watch until years later” department, probably because I was a teenager with minimal access to decent cinema. It was also a rocking good year for Japanese horror. 

28 Days Later: A movie that brought about the return of zombies in a big way, and also introduced (or at least popularized) fast zombies. Also it’s super scary. 

May: I don’t even know if May counts as horror, but it’s a dark, quirky movie that I try to make everyone watch because I love it so much. 

Ghost Ship: Honestly the bulk of the movie is pretty forgettable, but the opening scene is one of my favorite moments in gory cinematic history. 

Signs: M. Night Shyamalan’s last decent movie or his first shitty one, depending on who you ask. I liked it a lot when I first watched it, and it started to fall apart more and more as I got older. 

Ju-On: The Grudge: One of the better-known Japanese horrors and one whose tropes still get referenced and re-used. Skip the 2004 remake and watch the original trilogy. 

The Ring: Probably the best-known Japanese horrors and maybe the import that put “Japanese horror” into public consciousness. 

There was a lot of shlocky dreck in 2002, some of it decent (Cabin Fever) and some of it downright awful (Pinata: Survival Island/Demon Island). I should also mention Red Dragon, based on Thomas Harris’s novel of the same name, which quite a few people liked (I’ve only seen it once but I recall being underwhelmed). Also an honorable mention to Dog Soldiers, which I have not seen but which I hear frequently recommended as an A+ werewolf film. 

2003: Wow that’s a lot of dreck 

Look fam nobody said these film recs would be objective. There were a ton of horror movies that came out in 2003, I just didn’t really like hardly any of them. Some exceptions: 

Willard: The movie that made me want to start keeping rats as pets, which says more about me than it does the film. It’s a great movie, though, the first thing I ever saw Crispin Glover in (and god, he’s amazing), and one of the few films that I think is better than the book. 

Identity: A pretty decent psychological horror starring John Cusack. Watch this and 1408 together as a double-feature for maximum fun factor. 

House of 1000 Corpses: Look, if you’re reading this blog, you probably already have an opinion one way or another of Rob Zombie. The movie’s on the list because it’s arguably historically important, not because it’s objectively good. 

A few other notable moments from 2003 included a Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake (just watch the original, but if you insist on a remake, this is one of the better ones), the second Final Destination film (the last good one in the franchise), the Jeepers Creepers sequel, Freddy vs Jason, Darkness Falls, and Dreamcatcher. Like I said, there were lots of movies that came out this year, I just don’t think they were very good. 

2004: Oops we created torture porn 

I was in college at this point, which meant I was watching less horror than at any other moment in my life (I had a roommate who really hated scary movies) so maybe that’s why I haven’t heard of the majority of movies that came out that year. Or maybe they were all just really bad, hence why I still haven’t seen them. Hmmm. But! A few shining stars: 

Saw: Obviously a classic. I’m lukewarm about the franchise, but the original is an excellent film and well worth watching, especially given the impact it would have on the next many years of horror cinema. 

Shaun of the Dead: Hilarious, and honestly one of my favorite zombie films of all time. 

Dumplings: A Korean important you likely missed in 2004 but may have seen in a Three Extremes compilation. Well worth the watch if you’re not squeamish. 

Otherwise 2004 was pretty lackluster. Some forgettable franchise installments, some shlocky creature features, some unnecessary remakes. Lots of titles I’m unfamiliar with, though, too, so somebody tell me if I missed a big one that year! 

2005: Ehhhh

Just a couple important titles this year too: 

Hostel: Not a great movie. In fact, pretty damn campy. But an important one to watch to understand the torture porn genre. 

The Devil’s Rejects: See above re: House of 1000 Corpses. Hit or miss but a well-liked film by Rob Zombie fans. 

And  you know what, I think that’s actually it. I mean there were other movies -- a remake of The Fog,  the infinitely predictable Hide and Seek, the second Saw installment, and of course Doom. But it just wasn’t a great year for horror, imo. One shout-out here though for Wolf Creek, which is on my to-watch list; I haven’t seen it so I can’t vouch for it, but it does get recommended to me a lot. 

2006: Mostly more of the same 

Did we seriously have a Saw movie every year in the 2000s or what? No wonder everybody got sick of them and thought all horror was torture porn for a while. Talk about market saturation. 

Anyway, some shout-outs: 

Stay Alive: This movie is ridiculous, but I love it a lot. It’s about a video game that kills you in real life, and is a more successful video game movie than most actual adaptations. 

ReCycle: An Asian import. I missed this one entirely when it came out, but it’s one of my favorites to have discovered in later years. It’s a seriously cool movie, both fanciful and deeply uncomfortable. Content warning for abortion, but it’s not what you think. 

Otherwise, just some mostly soulless remakes (The Omen, The Hills Have Eyes, The Wicker Man), some franchise installments (Saw III, Final Destination 3, The Grudge 2). I will give an honorable mention to Black Sheep, which is so-bad-it’s-good ridiculous, and to that cult favorite Slither. 

2007: Wait, is horror getting good again?

Well, not quite, but we’re back on the map with some promising additions in a year where the genre seemed to be struggling to rediscover its identity: 

The Mist: One of the better Stephen King adaptations. 

30 Days of Night: A divisive entry in the canon, but a pretty interesting piece to study for anyone interested in vampires. 

28 Weeks Later: Not exactly a direct sequel to the earlier 28 Days Later, and probably not as good of a film, but pretty good in its own right. 

1408: Watch this one with Identity (see above) and enjoy a night of John Cusack going crazy in hotel rooms. 

The Orphanage: One of my favorite horror films of all time, both deeply unsettling and agonizingly sad. 

Paranormal Activity: The highest-grossing film of all time thanks to its low budget. Also what we can blame for the burst of popularity in the “found footage” style. 

Dead Silence: A movie that still frequently gets recommended and delivers some solid spooks. I’m not as fond of it as a lot of people, but it deserves a mention for how often it gets referenced (and for playing “killer ventriloquist dummies” straight as a trope). 

Trick r Treat: A Halloween classic. 

Of course the year brought us another Saw and another Hostel, a contentious Halloween reboot, another stab at I Am Legend (often adapted, rarely well), and a smattering of other sequels. I have not seen The Girl Next Door but based on how rarely I hear it recommended compared to the book, I imagine I’m not missing much. Borderlands was OK but, for my money, forgettable. Oh, there was also Grindhouse, a double feature which I quite enjoyed (I saw it in theaters, where it came with a warning for length, which I found amusing) but which history does not seem to have remembered positively. 

2008: Did Somebody Order a Recession? 

Back to slim pickings, although I admittedly have not seen most of the films released that year (I was pretty damn broke in 2008, so maybe that’s why). Still: 

Let the Right One In: Skip the later English remake, you cowards, and watch this with subtitles. It’s so good. SO GOOD. An unexpected twist on the vampire story, and kind of a romance to boot. Sort of. In a really messed up way. 

Cloverfield: A couple things are neat about Cloverfield. One, it was an early adopter and trope-setter for found-footage movies. Two, it successfully spawned a franchise where none of the movies feel related at all. Three, it launched with some really cool viral marketing that was utterly ahead of its time. On the downside, the shaky cam may in fact make you vomit if you get seasick easily. 

Repo! The Genetic Opera: A classic. Also may in fact be the only film of its kind, or at least the only rock-opera scifi-horror that comes to mind. 

I haven’t seen Pontypool, though it’s on my watch-list -- I’ve heard it’s quite good. Ditto Tokyo Gore Police which delivers, to my understanding, exactly what it says on the tin. Speaking of movies I didn’t see, can we take a moment to appreciate that a film called “Sauna” with the tagline “cleanse your sins” came out this year? Jfk 2008, are you OK? 

2009: Why are all the best horrors comedies this year 

It really does become obvious just how much the genre was floundering to figure out what it was doing the latter half of the decade, because the movies are so weirdly hit-or-miss. I do have some favorite hidden gems, though, alongside a couple well-known recs: 

Zombieland: A genuinely funny feel-good zombie comedy-horror, feeding right into a growing cultural fascination with zombies. 

Jennifer’s Body: Is this a comedy? Is this a horror? What is this? I’m not sure how to classify it but I sure do like it. 

Antichrist: Ok I don’t know if this is a recommendation per se, but if I had to watch this with my own eyes, I’m making y’all watch it too. Have you ever wondered what it might look like to watch a filmmaker have a psychotic break while making a movie? That’s almost literally what this film is. 

The Human Centipede: This is a cop-out because I have not watched these movies and I in fact refuse to watch these movies because the premise is fucking stupid, but I will acknowledge the historical, ah, importance? of this film in the greater scheme of 21st century horror. 

Dread: One of my favorite movies, and the film I recommend to anyone who wants to watch a torture film done right. I love the shit out of this movie. Please go watch this movie. 

Grace: Deeply disturbing and pulling approximately zero punches. It’s one of the best films to tread the “horrors of motherhood” territory, which is saying something because that’s very fertile (ha, ha) ground. 

I actually have not seen Drag Me to Hell or The Last House on the Left, although people have recommended both to me. Anyone want to chime in with how good they might be? I also want to make a shout-out to Daybreakers, which I feel like nobody ever talks about but which actually has one of the most fascinating vampire concepts I’ve ever seen on film. The movie itself is kind of boring and forgettable, but the idea is really neat. 

And that wraps up my journey through the 2000s in horror. Next decade: The 90s, coming right up! 

[larriefails]

Why being a Larrie is never "harmless"

A few months ago, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who was a Larrie. She considered himself a "chill one" the type that would only reblog cute gifs and occasionally the "innocent" kind of theories, nothing more and nothing less. She had a very small blog with barely any followers, and Larry was just another thing about 1D for her. She didn't feel that strongly about it, she just believed it matter-of-factly. I told her what she was doing still wasn't harmless, she was defensive and didn't understand why I said that

So I did my best to explain to her why I believed that by using her own life as an example. She listened to me and when I was finished explaining, actually went livid and admitted that I was right. She wasn't harmless. None of the Larrie behavior was, no one with a blog or a tw or IG account propagating Larrie theories was without blame. They weren't just "innocently believing two boys were in love"

I'm copying, pasting, and editing exactly what I told her. This is specific to her life and her experience, so it'll have a few aspects that might not be relatable to everyone, but I think it can still have an effect on anyone that thinks their participation in Larry is harmless. My friend is Muslim and a lesbian, her family isn't aware of her sexuality at all, she's going to college in America. I wasn't trying to reason with her that Larry wasn't real (that would come later, and she would change her mind on that as well). I was trying to show her why it didn't matter whether it was or not, the speculation was still harmful, whether big, small, or anything in between

Imagine one of your college classmates believing you were a lesbian based on how you acted and other stuff. If he just talked about it with a friend over whatsapp or coffee then it'd be whatever, right? But now imagine that college classmate writing posts on tumblr or a thread on twitter explaining in detail why he thought that. Imagine if he used pictures of you (maybe that you posted yourself, or that your friends posted), if he analyzed how you captioned stuff, the words you used in class that one time, the company you kept, the clothes you wore. How would you feel?

I mean, he's right, you are a lesbian, but does that change anything? You can't have people that you don't trust knowing it, can you? And even if it wasn't true, you still wouldn't want random people to read that sort of thing about you, would you? Wouldn't it make you self-conscious of everything you do or say and how you do it or say it?

Let's add another layer to it. For some reason the posts your college classmate made about you get attention. He gets a ton of followers and one or two of them then start commenting "omg, you ARE a lesbian" on your instagram, bringing up what your college classmate said as proof. How would you feel then? I mean, it's not technically your college classmate's fault that these people are doing that, he can't control them. He didn't @ you or anyone involved with you. But he's the one that put it out there for public consumption when it was none of his business, so he's partially responsible for these people having access to laid out theories that wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for him

Now your sister replies to the comment "lmao no she's not" and then more people start reading your college classmate, who by now isn't the only person theorizing you're a lesbian. These people all agree that you must be closeted to your family, so they just tell your sister "well, of course you think she's not, but that's because she's not out to you, but there's all this proof, just look." And some other people might think that she knows but you haven't told your parents, so she's covering for you. So her denial would just be added to the pile of proof. Any action that you took against it would be added to the conspiracy on your sexuality. If you got close to a male friend, they would call him a beard. Your clothes would suddenly become either lesbian proof ("look how butch she is!") or proof that you're covering it up ("she's doing the femme thing on purpose"). They'd do the same with your hair, your makeup. They'd analyze your likes and dislikes, what tv shows you watch, what movies you enjoy, your speech and lingo, what classes you're taking and what classes you're not taking. Literally everything in your life would become fodder for this conspiracy. Every single one of your friends and family members that are publicly available would be pulled into it. They'd start to get harassed with questions about it. They'd be called liars if they denied it. Imagine people thinking that somehow you're coding your clothing to show that their beliefs are real, and that you're giving them a wink that, though you can't publicly admit to it, you appreciate their support because you don't get it from your family. You tell them "no, you're crazy, I'm just living my life" and people then analyze your body language and say that you're lying, or uncomfortable with what you're saying, or clearly showing signs that you're actually being covertly sarcastic. You liked one of Jack Falahee's ig photos, he plays a gay character in HTGAWM, that means you're subtly hinting that you're gay... People would get mad at your parents for forcing you to stay closeted, they'd start believing that they're doing you a favor because they're showing you that they support you for who you are

Wouldn't that be incredibly harming for you, with how your family is conformed and what their beliefs are? And aside from that, wouldn't it get incredibly exhausting to be scrutinized to that extreme? How would you feel if that happened to you? Wouldn't you be mad at anyone that shared any part of those theories, no matter how small their part on it was?

That's exactly what happened with Larry. Sure, they don't have religious families that will oust them, so in a sense, they would have less to lose than you in this potential scenario, but you'd have to multiply the potential attention a simple college girl could have by times a million. And even in the most timid Larrie theories, Harry and Louis are either not ready to be out as a couple, or could face huge backlash if it got out. The mantra of "we can't out them because we're just fans" could easily be applied to your college classmate and his followers, couldn't it? What's the difference?

The only difference is that Harry and Louis are in the public eye and, therefore, people are more interested in their sexualities and personal lives than they'd be of their regular college classmate. There's also a dehumanizing part of this because I think most people would feel weird making posts about how this college classmate of theirs is a lesbian, right? Even if human nature of gossip would maybe make it interesting for them and other people to want to know. Most people would never make posts like that, and even if some would, they'd called out immediately by others because "omg that's none of your business!" But somehow we don't give celebrities that same treatment. Just like you'd feel ?????????? if someone followed you around to get your picture or filmed you without your permission while you're at the gym. But these last two things, though they're still done to celebrities, are universally considered wrong and condemned. I just don't understand how the same can't apply to theories and speculation, and I don't just mean Larry, of course, it's just that Larry is so big and universal in this fandom that it gets to be an actual problem

Do what you'd do with your college classmates or neighbors and gossip with your friends on private chats or while having dinner together. I'm not saying "don't gossip at all" because that's unrealistic, I'm saying that people, especially if they consider themselves fans, should have some boundaries and not theorize over someone's personal life in a public platform where anyone can see and it can never be totally erased

I just think that when you take the "celebrity" aspect out of the actions, you can see them for what they really are. You wouldn't do that with your college classmate. The situation I just described is ludicrous and unfathomable, right? Like, just the thought of anything like that happening to you is ridiculous (and scary, I'm sure). Why is it okay when it comes to celebrities? I understand that speculating on that sort of stuff is kind of normalized by the media, but everyone should be responsible for their own actions and I can't excuse Larrie behavior under any circumstances. As small as those actions can be, and as small as their reach can be, it's still wrong. I would judge anyone that shared a thread of "proof [name of my friend] is a lesbian!" on twitter. I would think they're gross even if they have one follower. Even if they just liked one tweet out of a large thread. I don't see any difference whatsoever when it comes to Larry

[kendrixtermina]

Disclaimer For Potential Partners (f/m/x)

Writing this down as much to gather my thoughts and go into this with clear priorities as for possible future reference. 

My mother always told me that if you wanted everyone to like you, you’d have to be a 50 dollar bill. I have come to accept that I’m more like licorice. Some people aren’t gonna like me but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who would appreciate me. 

I’d rather you run away screaming NOW than in three years when we’re both invested so Let’s get all this out of the way:

I’m bisexual. Yes, I’ve dated dudes in the past. I’ve had a brief online flirt with an agender person and do think androgynous ppl are hot which I suppose would make me pan in some ppl’s books, at this point the choice in label is purely aesthetic. I’m looking for a female partner right now because I’ve always had a slight preference for girls anyways but a sufficiently compatible non-female would not be refused. 

Because ppl have gotten this wrong in the past: Preference is about how likely you are to notice that someone is hot in the first place like in the early stages. It doesn’t mean my attachment to those dudes was any less “real” (or the other way around!) I just flat out don’t care whats in your pants there are other things to be picky about

From since I was young, the message I got from music, books etc is that it’s pretty bad to say ��I love you” unless you truly mean it. So I don’t say “I love you” until I’m 100% sure I can do that it good conscience. It seems that it takes me a bit longer to be sure than most people, but it’s not like I’ve conducted statistics on this

I’m not vegan/vegetarian and I’m never going to be vegan/vegetarian

I’m not a pet person 

I’m not a sporty person and I’m never going to be a sporty person

Go through my stuff, spy on me in any way or ask me to tell you where I am at all times and its over

I’m an antiprohibitionist and don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with taking recreational substances. Conversely, I’m not interested in that sort of thing as a full-on lifestyle either. 

I try to keep an open mind and try everything once but im probably not gonna reorganize my life around new age woo-woo. 

So far my folks have liked most my partners, but if our social circles don’t get along I’m comfortable with leaving them separate. 

I believe in judging people as individuals first. I don’t wanna hear no paranoid shit about “the muslims” or other stereotypical carricatures but if you’re gonna be “europeans that europeans this” as if im not in the room its not gonna work. 

Don’t be fooled by the foreign-sounding surname im a potato through and through. No exotic fanservice to be had here. 

Barring unforseen dictatorships, I don’t want to move out of Europe. I like it here. Its full of frustrating dumbasses but so is the rest of the world.  Yay for cheese and consumer protection laws! I would consider moving closer to the shore though. 

It’s fine if you don’t speak German but you should not hate or dislike it.  English is a plus because me, my friends and my family are into internet culture

I haven’t spoken to my father in five years. No, you’re not going to patch this up. You don’t have to ignore him too if you’re not comfortable but you’ll have to respect my choice instead of playing family therapist or throwing platitudes about forgiveness at me. 

Im not counting and it depends on your definition but Ive fucked at least 15-20 people, which according to statistics is above average? Always used rubber unless it was long-term and exclusive tho. That might bother some ppl. 

That said it has been my conclusion that fucking does nothing that a beer can’t do and that the real quality stuff is what you could already do as a grade schooler when you still thought of all the grownup stuff as mystical. Having ice cream together, exploring new places, having contemplative conversations in the rain, telling each other your fantasies? That’s The Stuff. 

Hence while I wouldn’t turn down some fuckage along the way what im looking for at this point is someone to share life and grow old with, like there doesn’t need to be the expectation of further strings but the end goal RN is to find One That Sparks Joy(TM) that will get precedence

I’m not big on material gifts or the ritual part of dating if thats important to you I might not be the ideal candidate, but if its not thats probably good for your wallet

I’m a strong introvert. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to anyone other than my boss or maybe texting my relatives. If you’re very introverted or work alot this might be an advantage. Of course if I love you I will try my best to match up to your attention needs but if you need your partner to text you 15 times every day to feel good I might just not be your cup of tea

That doesn’t mean im not interested in going on or doing new experiences. I very much hope to do that together with you just not 5 days a week - if you can’t give new things wholehearted tries things might get uncomfortable

I like spicy food and all sort of asian cousine, but if you can’t stand the sight of cheese, asparagus and sausage it’s not gonna work either. I can obviously put less chili in your portion. 

I tend to talk fast and I find it hard to stop it even if I try, if that bothers you look elsewhere

I cannot stand forced optimism OR over-the top misanthropy or snobbishness. I will gush about things, but I like my dark edgy content and I stand by it. It is an advantage if you like talking about art. If you don’t like morbid humor that might be a problem

No diet talk

No perfectionism

No passive aggressive ppl or ppl that are uncomfortable with direct confrontation. That won’t work, we’d just set each other off even without meaning to and it would just be sad. If Im doing something wrong don’t expect me to notice by magic, tell me to my face so I can fix it. Don’t be hostile out of nowhere and don’t beat around the bush. 

im not religious or spiritual. I don’t mind if you are but if you want to have kids and bring them up strongly-immersed in some Abrahamic faith im not sure if this is the right adress

No anti-intellectualism (no snobbery, elitism or smartassery either - as a wise pig once said, “Knowledge is a horizon to strive for, not a prize to hold in your hand” It begins with realizing what you don’t know)

Indifferent about monogamy, but I wouldn’t say that I’m the sort of person who needs non-monogamy either.  If you want to we can do it (write me out some list of where you draw the lines so there’s no misunderstandings) but if you don’t it’s no biggie. I don’t care if you fuck 10 other people - for me, respect, honor and loyalty are to do with other things, like, don’t make fun of me and don’t expect me to change because one (1) person said I’m weird or whatever.

Don’t give me diseases tho. I’ll take precautions to extend the same courtesy to you.  

Potential character flaws: I can be a tad sensitive, disorganized and defensive sometimes, not gonna sugarcoat it. I have no filter and curse like a sailor. Also I have zero social skills and sometimes I come across as either angry or unemotional when its really the opposite. I find that just as confusing and contradictory as that sounds, I have like zero sense of how I come off. I try to be aware of all of these and do right to everyone to the best of my ability but if you’re sensitive about any of these point someone else might be a better fit 

2 kids max. I’m not sure I’ll have ANY at this point, and most certainly not in the next 5 years. IF we decide to have some later I volunteer to carry them though, I probably have good genes, my mom popped out 4 babies in 6 years with nary a complication. Besides I’d rather it was me dealing with the gross pregnancy stuff than someone I love

My favorite bedroom stuff is fingers-in-front-cavity and butt stuff. Mild sleepsex fetish but nothing super pronounced. What I don’t like or just am not very good at is top/bottom play. 

So far most my partners have had somewhat stronger sex drive than me but Id argue that I very much have one and ive never refused unless I was in physical pain, severely sleep-deprived or working on some important work-related thing that was due the next day. 

It’s important - and science backs me up on this - that you can freely talk to each other in n open, natural and relaxed manner

If you think im weird just do us both the favor and stay away don’t come at me with the attitude that you’re gonna mold me to your desires - even just writing this comes off kinda touchy but im saying this because some people out there really don’t get it. Like my natural tendency is to be open, courious and realistic,  but some people see that as free real estate and then it falls to me to be the reasonable one and End The Madness and im tired of that.

Like I want to be able to give love and pour out all my inner romantic shit without having to be afraid of being fucked over I want to be able to trust you with my inner harley quinn as well as my inner phantom of the opera 

UGH that sounded a bit tryhard didn’t it? But its the best description i could come up with

Must remember to translate this into mordor speak later