#being asexual and also human is hard

[here-there-were-dragons]

my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.

she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.

the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.

so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.

and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.

it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.

just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.

[illwilledomen]

Adults n’ babies.

Info below.

Villagers (and all Testificates)

- Children have tufts of hair, and bald during puberty.

- The darker pigment in their proboscis occurs during puberty. They also grow into their noses.

- Kids are kind of scrunkly and wrinkly, like Sphinx cat kittens. They’re also very small, and have huge growth spurts once they hit their teenage years.

- Adult villagers are incredibly tall, and lack much visible hair aside from fine body hair, light facial hair (like stubble) and eyebrows, which are bristly and whisker-like. Another noticeable feature is their short philtrum and near lack of a visible upper lip. Their noses are as sensitive as human lips, and are typically used in the same way for affection and gesture. Villager proboscis can scrunch, wrinkle and twitch, moving to follow scents like the noses of elephant shrews.

- Villagers have much keener senses of smell than humans, and can produce a wider range of sounds.

Piglin

- Much like villagers, piglets start fuzzy and bald into wrinkly adult piglin.

- Piglets learn to vocally emote first, then sign phrases later on. Piglin use vocalisations as emotional context cues for the more complex sentences they sign.

- Piglin sows have litters of up to six piglets. Most of these piglets will die, particularly if it’s a nomadic horde, so they only receive proper names at one and a half nether years, or when they begin to grow out of their camouflage stripes.

- Piglets are born with stripes and an earthier pigment to help them hide from Infernal predators.

Endermen

- Endermen give birth through their mouth. They do breed asexually, though some Endermen do recreationally partake in what is possibly intercourse. It’s hard for Enderologists to tell.

- The offspring spends ten years inside of a nutrient sac before emerging as an Ender-child. The Ender-child will slowly develop features like limbs and a complex digestive system, though it begins with only a torso, a brain and a pair of eyes. These eyes are non-functional as psionic communicators, which is their secondary purpose in adults.

- They excrete an oily substance that repels Endermites and keeps them moisturized enough to move. As the larvae matures, it will develop the velvety exoskeleton of an adult Enderman. It will also begin to omit psionic frequencies, though these begin as nonsensical bursts of information.

- They mature at 100 years old. Most of this 100 years is spend engorging on chorus fruit, stem and endstone mineral salts. They have no emotional connection to their parent, as eventually they will develop enough to join the Chorus and become one conscious Being. Alternatively, they can worship a void God and become an Endersent.

Players

- Players were primarily constructed by Rana of the Elphar Senate of Builders, or artificers under her command. Most players were raised either in the Garden, an enclosed sterilized “meadow” next to the Senate building, or within the ancient city.

- They have three brains. The Animal, aka a normal human brain, the Purpose, an information tablet which dictates their robotic instincts, Basic Information and function, and the Soul, which enables emotion and sapience.

- Steve was constructed as The Builder, Alex was constructed as The Hunter, and Hero was constructed as The Friend, but is commonly referred to simply as the first. Hero destroyed two other players before he was supposedly decommissioned.

- Players begin existence as entirely androgynous beings, and may transition into genders upon discovering them. Gender is not encoded onto the Basic Information tablet, so they may struggle to understand it. Steve has adopted a masculine identity, enjoys it, though expresses confusion at being called a “male”.

[krakensdottir]

Crowley and Aziraphale canonically do not have sex organs. There is no indication that they have ever experienced sex or have a desire to.

And apparently... people do not like this. They are resistant to accepting it in a way that, as an asexual, it's hard not to take personally.

But I don't really think it's personal. I think it's just that allosexual thinking is so prevalent, people default to 'but why WOULDN'T they?' instead of 'why WOULD they?' Even though the latter question makes a lot more sense in this context. Allosexual thinking has us expecting that love = sex, and that any being who enjoys good food or music or other Earthly pleasures must also want to try it. Even though many real human people enjoy those pleasures and have no desire for sex at all. Why wouldn't these ethereal beings be like us in that regard?

And look, I've been in enough fandoms by now not to be surprised by any of this. What DO you do with a ship if not have them fuck? That's always the end goal, right? But there's a fine line between fantasizing (always fine) and actually expecting reality - or canon - to work that way. Canonically, we have a sexless romantic relationship that does not, by any sort of default, have to turn into a sexual one to be valid. That's amazing. That almost never happens. But if you went by fan discussions, you probably wouldn't even realize that was the case.

The thing is... aphobia doesn't always look like hatred, or ridicule. Sometimes it looks like erasure. Sometimes it looks like a persistent tendency to sexualize the sexless in order to make it more interesting, or palatable, or to make the relationship 'complete'. It's not on purpose, like that. It's cultural normalcy talking. None of us are untouched by it, and it's easy not to realize.

I don't think I'm coming to a point here. I'd just like if fan discussions weren't always overrun by allosexual expectations. But I also don't really expect it to lead to a lot of self-reflection. I mean, it's fandom. It's whatever. It shouldn't even bother me. But apparently it does, so I wanted to talk about it. And put it out there in case, perhaps, anyone else has been sitting on these feelings and would like to vent.

[timmydraker]

CW: Implied SA, P3dophillia, (dubcon) sexual content

Jason hates galas the most out of his siblings.

Coming from his Crime Alley background and his death, it’s always uncomfortable with the subtle grimaces and obnoxious remarks.

The only reason he goes is because if he doesn’t Bruce won’t give him any allowance even though he’s twenty three, but it’s hard being a crime lord so he’ll take the money.

As usual, he sneaks off after a solid hour. He gives Dick a nod to let him know he’s leaving just so his older brother won’t freak out upon not being able to find him, and makes his way down the hall of the building he’s in to find the elevator.

Unfortunately it’s one of those stupid rich people ones where the elevator looks like a normal door so he has to look for the buttons, which leads him to get turned around a few times until he hears something interesting.

The sounds of obvious sex, cringy and almost fake sounding, makes the asexual in him gag but the crime lord curious.

A few times now he’s blackmailed rich folk with evidence of them cheating so if he can get someone else to give him some pocket money, he won’t need to come to the next gala…

As Jason carefully gets closer o the door, pulling out his phone, he can really tell that one voice is way too high and practiced. Fake, like those pornos his men watch too loud in their communal lounges for some bloody reason.

Apart of him is giddy at possibly finding some random richy guy being a shit fuck, if only because he finds the whole thing funny.

He opens the door slowly, making sure not a sound is heard from it, before peaking in to see what the situation is.

The first thing he sees is a guy who can’t be younger than fifty jerking his hips rapidly and huffing like a puffed Chihuahua, pathetic and kind of concerning. He’s on a couch angled so Jason can’t see his face, but the greying hair tells him everything.

It makes him have to hold back a snort but then his eyes trail over to the person underneath him.

Unlike the older man, the person is young and clearly not enjoying himself.

Jason only has a moment to realise this is probably a closeted gay man when his brain catches up and he realises who the other person is.

He only had a second to be disgusted because oh ew, gross gross gross, that’s his baby brother before shit that’s his baby brother.

Tim is the one making those performing noises.

Tim is the one being pressed down by a guy three times his age.

Tim is the one who’s making noises like he’s enjoying himself but is looking off to the side with a mostly blank face.

Tim, who’s only been eighteen for two months, is the one being used by some crusty old fuck and is seemingly pretending to enjoy it.

Jason wants to rush in and start attacking, to rip the guy off his brother and maybe punch his face into mush, but then he meets Tim’s eye and he feels his heart break.

Because Tim looks so ashamed, so disgusted with himself as he spots Jason and looks away with clear guilt in his eyes. He looks like he wants to crawl aaay and hide forever and Jason gets that because duh, his older brother just caught him having sex, but something about the situation just doesn’t feel right.

Jason thinks he should leave and give Tim some kind of talk later but then the older geezer on top of him speaks, “Fuck, Tim, you-god you’re so fucking tight, so perfect, such a good little bitch! Missed you little hole for months-“

The growl Jason lets out isn’t entirely human, something unholy that probably came from the pit, as he throws the door open and barges into the room.

Tim shakes his head as if to tell him to stop, but Jason is quicker.

He’s also quicker than the man who, ones his rips him off his little brother before he even process the door opening, he realises is a senator. He throws the man down, kicks his stomach in three times before driving a boot to his head.

Wordlessly he turns to his brother who is tearily pulling his dress pants and struggling to hold back sobs.

Jason holds out his hands in offer of a hug and is relieved when his brother accepts, because it means that physical touch hasn’t been ruined for him completely.

After just a few moments he mutters a warning to his brother that he’s going to pick him up and takes him out of the room with a last kick the man’s head.

He probably won’t die, but the brain trauma will be enough for Jason.

For now at least.

Jason holds his baby brother close to him as he takes him down to his car, finally finding the elevator with Tim’s silent help, and takes him back to his apartment.

On the way he sends a message to the demon brat, simply saying:

Don’t let anyone look for or bother me and Tim and I’ll buy you a snake.

[backwardsbread]

Hazbin Hotel:

Human!Alastor x Housewife!Reader

~Understanding Asexuality~

Warnings‼️- Established relationship, angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy, fem!reader, maybe OOC Alastor??, mentions of cannibalism but only for like one sentence.

Setting is Alastor’s time period, 1900-1930s.

A/N: I hope I did Alastor’s character justice! He might be slightly out of character?? I can’t imagine him actually getting in a relationship, I mean man is literally a serial killer- so I tried- ENJOY

~I would also like to say, I am not asexual or aromatic myself. This is just my take on Alastor’s sexuality/how he handles it. If I made any mistakes, please correct me but I tried to be as respectful as possible. I tried to do some research on the history of asexuality during the time period, but remember I am not perfect and this is a FAKE scenario with a FICTIONAL character.~

You like to think you know your husband like the back of your hand.

The two of you got married young, falling hard for the young radio host was easy. Many other maidens had, their affections for Alastor painfully obvious. All the while Alastor had no plans on perusing any of the women who fancied him. He was love blind, not really understanding the amount of people attracted to him, or why they were.

What wasn’t to like? He was an attractive young man, charming, and a true gentleman. But the idea of settling down, having to commit himself to one individual the rest of his life, didn’t appeal to him.

Especially with how tainted his brain was with his little hobbies.

He never got the special feeling everyone spoke about. Butterflies, increased heart palpitations, sweaty palms. The mere thought of it was enough to have his face contorting in mild disgust.

That opinion didn’t change when he met you. There was no ‘love at first sight’ feeling for him. You were polite and put together and that was something Alastor could appreciate. He didn’t quite understand your advances towards him. Seeing your interest towards him as friendly banter, while you saw his reactions to it as rejection.

You accepted his dismissal of your feelings, knowing you had given it your best shot. It didn’t stop Alastor from adoring your company. Whether it be on the dance floor or attending the diner you worked at. You were an incredible friend to him, nothing more.

Safe to say, Alastor didn’t suddenly catch feelings for you. There was no sudden change in his feelings.

But there were whispers

Unwanted Attention being brought on Alastor.

Gossip was high. Many mouths questioning Alastor’s true intent with you. Why was he always along side such a pretty thing without courting her? Were the two of you involved in secret affairs?

The theories grew, and while Alastor loved the attention being a radio host brought him, gossip was bad if he needed to keep his personal life under wraps. Besides, what kind of gentleman would he be if he let others tarnish your good name? Getting with you was more of an effort to fit into norms rather than it being for ‘true love’.

Slowly he showed signs of affection towards you. Holding your hand in public, taking you on more proper dates, even kissing your cheek once or twice when he saw hushed whispers from nearby crowds. The affection was sudden, but not unwelcome to you. Your feelings had never truly gone away for the radio host, and you pinned his original rejections on him being shy.

It wasn’t long after his advances he asked your official partnership. To be frank, you were easy and Alastor needed a cover. His true intentions were cruel, but you were blindsided by your longtime crush and friend being interested in you.

But you weren’t completely naïve.

While yes, you loved Alastor with all your heart, you knew in the back of your mind he had ulterior motivations. Every chaste kiss, every hand hold, every hug, felt rushed and nervous. Your whole relationship with Alastor felt fast paced, as only a few months after having the gall to ask you out, he was asking you to marry him.

It felt forced.

The feeling you tried to ignore, hoping it was just your insecurities causing the sinking feeling in your gut. You of course said yes to Alastor’s proposal. Knowing deep down you loved him and should not question if he did so in return.

Before you knew it, you were dressed in white in front friends and family, listening to wedding bells chime gleefully.

You could recall joyous laughter and dancing, talking about your soon future with the radio host whose last name you had now shared. Sharing drinks with friends to celebrate you ‘winning’ over Alastor. It all moved so fast yet you were happy with the results.

Alastor couldn’t have agreed more considering the chatter about the two of you had died down ever since his proposal. (Besides a few heartbroken maidens who heard the handsome host was officially off the market) Less eyes were on him which was good for the estranged hobbies he would indulge in.

You and Alastor moved in together and it felt like smooth sailing.

Until the next thing people expected from the two of you. That of course being children.

Alastor and you would constantly hear all about the subject from your mother, who was desperate to have some grandkids running around. At the mention of children you felt flustered and embarrassed, considering you and Alastor had yet to be intimate with one another.

It was through the subject, however, that sinking feeling returned. As your mother rambled on about grandchildren, you occasionally piped in with your own opinion. When your husband realized having children was something you actually wanted, you caught him grimacing at the idea.

The look he gave made your heart feel heavy in your chest. The sinking only worsened when he begrudgingly agreed with your mother, saying how the two of you would provide her with grandchildren with time.

Forced.

You felt guilty. You knew Alastor was lying with his words. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to seduce your husband before. It was actually something you expected to happen and for the radio host to initiate.

Alastor would be lying if he said he didn’t start to feel genuine fondness towards you. You knew him well, better than any other friend he had.

You knew his schedule, his habits, his preferences. It scared him how much you could read his mind like a book. All the reason more to keep you sheltered away from how cruel of a man he truly was.

You were simply too good for him. Too innocent.

But when it came to intimacy, the radio host showed absolutely no interest. Coming up with one excuse after another to not be intimate with you. His rejection left you feeling unwanted and almost abandoned. Your own husband didn’t seem to enjoy your affections and it hurt your heart. You started to question if you were the cause of his discomfort. Was he just not attracted to you? Were you being too pushy?

Your mind even wandered to the late nights Alastor would stay out. Was he seeing someone else, perhaps? He could have anyone he wanted really, despite your marriage, there were many women who would still flirt with him. Had one caught his eye that he favored over you?

Anxiety and insecurity riddled your body for a long time before you started to search for possible answers. After work, you would head to a library of the outskirts of town. You didn’t want anyone you knew possibly catching you wildly scanning through books for possible answers.

The library didn’t provide much comfort. You found unsatisfactory answers, many of which ended in advice on how to ‘properly seduce a man’.

You didn’t want to force your husband to be intimate with you. Making desperate attempts that would ultimately be denied as they had been in the past.

You dug a little deeper, with a lot of the same results. You were just at your wits end with all the repetitive failure to find anything that felt right. However, one article caught your eye. A book that had dusted over from the lack of acknowledgment. Out of luck you reached for it, hoping to find any answers. Reading through the contents, it opened a whole new world of terminology and knowledge about a community you didn’t know existed.

You found comfort knowing there were possibly other people like your husband. That his rejections could possibly be the cause of something else other than you. You decided to take the article home with you, along with a few others, to read into it more at home.

————————————————————————

Through your research, you had started to understand your husband’s behavior more and more. You wouldn’t truly know the answers unless you had simply asked him, but at the same time, it felt better to consider this an option than to believe something was wrong with your marriage.

There were other people who exhibited traits your husband showed when it came to intimacy. Those who didn’t enjoy such pleasures or desires. It was a spectrum, one that you had never heard of. But it all made sense the more you read into different people’s experiences.

Some people’s stories you read stated how intimacy rarely crossed their mind. Before, you had only heard stories of friends being hyper sexual, with high sex drive that would oftentimes cause high gossip. It made sense that there were bound to be people at the other end of the stick, who felt the opposite. Of course they could acknowledge it was a thing. However the need/want to experience such things would rarely and sometimes never spark. It didn’t make these people strange or less human, it was simply how they felt.

You hear the door swing open, interrupting your thoughts. You swear to yourself silently, hurrying to close the books and articles you were reading up on. You shove the disorganized papers into the large book, then shove it underneath the table, out of view. You stand, brushing off your dress, and quickly go over to the stove.

“Hi honey! You’re home early.” You shout across the house to your husband. You grab your apron, messily tying the back of it.

“Oh I finished up early today, thought you would enjoy the surprise.” Alastor’s voice responds, his footsteps approaching the kitchen.

Grabbing a pot, you fill it with water as Alastor enters the room. He approaches you, putting a finger under your chin and bringing you closer. He gives your cheek a small peck, his fingers barely grazing your hip.

Forced.

You smile towards your lover, setting the full pot over the unlit stovetop. Adrenaline runs through your veins as you watch Alastor go and sit at the table. You clear your throat, avoiding looking at your husband. You open up the cabinets, looking around for ingredients to start on supper.

“How was your day, love?” You ask, trying to be as casual as you could. Alastor caught on to your anxiety, but decided to ignore it. He hummed, adjusting his glasses on his face.

“As normal as any other, dear. There was actually quite the crazy story, today about-..” Alastor went on about his radio show and the topics he had covered. You nod occasionally to show you could hear him, but his words didn’t really process in your head. You couldn’t focus with you heart drumming in your ears. Pulling out random ingredients from the cabinets, trying to think of anything to make for dinner, Alastor continues to speak. His voice a source of comfort despite him unknowingly being the cause of your anxious behavior.

“..they apparently continued their actions anyway! Don’t these men have any class? I swear to you the nerve of… some.. folk..” You tuned back into Alastor’s rambling just as he hear him start to trail off. You hear his seat pull back, making a creaking noise as he leans back and looks under the table. Feeling his gaze on you for a moment, you don’t dare to look back at your husband. He had seen what you tried to poorly hide.

Alastor leans down, grabbing the book with articles sticking out of the side. He hums, opening the book a skimming over the contents of what he found.

“Darling, what’s all this?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing as he read through the article. Tensing at his tone, you avoid looking towards him and keep quiet. Your mind racing almost as fast as your heart. Your voice was caught in your throat, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse.

It takes a moment to gain your composure. Eventually you speak, after clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the lump stuck there.

“I was just.. doing some reading.. on uhm..” Gosh, this was embarrassing to admit. Your face flushes to pink as you continue, “I just had some concerns.. I suppose I was feeling a bit insecure about our relationship-..”

“Our relationship?” Alastor questions, staring daggers into your back. His tone showing signs of irritation and discomfort. You turn towards your husband. There was no hiding how you felt now. You couldn’t lie to him when he had the evidence in his hands.

“I.. suppose I was worried.. for my own selfish reasons. I got to wondering why you didn’t seem attracted.. to me.” Alastor glares slightly at your words, drumming his fingers against the table. He knew exactly what you meant with your words, his nose instinctively cringing up in mild disgust. He opens his mouth to speak again, but is cut off quickly by you.

“I know it’s something silly to be concerned about, it shouldn’t be a concern at all. I shouldn’t have questioned you. Dare I say it was wrong of me.” You quickly tried to explain to ease your husbands silent anger.

Alastor stayed quiet, teeth gritting as his all too fake smile cracked at the seems. He felt on edge. He couldn’t have you questioning him like this, opening him up and making him vulnerable. You made him question how well he was really hiding his true identity. You could tap in to what he was feeling and it irked him. He cleared his throat, interwining his fingers together to create a cradle for his chin to sit.

“I don’t see how your concerns are important, dear. Our relationship is fine without such activities. Do you not believe that to be true? I love you, do I not?” Alastor asked, a small smile plastered on his face.

Forced

“Do you?” You find yourself asking before you can process the question yourself. Alastor’s wide eyes make you replay your words. You gasp, covering your mouth with both hands. What were you thinking??

Both you and your husband stay quiet for a period of time, staring at each other with wide eyes. Alastor breaks his gaze, looking towards the wallpaper design in the kitchen that suddenly interested him. Your voice catches in your throat. It felt like you couldn’t speak for what felt like forever. Heavy weight on your chest when you uttered the question you’d been keeping inside since you said your I do’s.

Taking a breath to regain yourself, you look towards the stove. Scattered abandoned ingredients of what dinner was supposed to be left there. You glance towards Alastor, voice barely a whisper as you speak to him.

“I understand..” Your muttered voice doesn’t reach him, causing him to look at you and turn his head. You see him in your peripheral vision, then repeat yourself;

“I understand if you don’t.. or if you don’t want to partake in any.. intimate actions with me..” You start, grabbing a potato that had been abandoned on the counter. You start to rinse it under the sink water.

“From what I’ve read, you’re not alone. There apparently are men and women alike who don’t share an interest for sexual acts and behaviors. You’re not the only one..”

“I’m not accusing you of anything.. I’m not trying.. to make you feel bad. I just wanted to understand.. and I do. Please let me.”

Alastor stares at you while you speak. His silence feels like rejection. The same rejection you felt when you had first met him, but this was worse. Your heart ached, your chest felt tight, and your eyes felt like they were drowning in welled up tears.

You loved Alastor.

But never would you force him to return it.

You hear your husband stand from his place at the table, slow steps walking towards you. You feel his presence behind you. You silently prepare yourself for an onslaught of ‘how dare you’s and ‘who do you think you are’s.

Instead you feel warm hands hook underneath your arms, pulling you back towards Alastor’s body. Your body tenses, as you drop the vegetable you were once washing into the sink. Alastor leaned forward, resting his nose in the crook of your neck. Leaning down and hugging you tight.

Flood gates open as soft tears spill down your flushed cheeks. You gently hold onto Alastor’s arm with one hand, trying to stay perfectly still as if your husband were a stray animal. As if you move, he’d flinch away.

Alastor pulls away from your neck, looking at your face. His hand reaches up, standing straight, as he caresses one of your cheeks. He smears the tears across your cheek in an attempt to wipe them away, before leaning into you. Breath hitting yours before his lips meet yours.

Authentic

You’d never felt such a gentle and loving kiss from your husband. It felt so genuine and kind. You kiss back weakly, only hoping to make him feel the warm feeling he gave you.

Alastor never truly did understand his admiration for you. He never regretted marrying you. Of course you were always a good friend for him, one that he would work hard to keep safe. To keep you hidden away from who he was. Your happiness was always in the back of his mind as an essential. Sure he hated how you read him so easily, like it was second nature. But he hated it because if you knew the truth, you wouldn’t be safe.

He hated it because a part of him did love you.

Pulling away from the kiss, Alastor keeps you close to him, watching more soft tears fall down your face. He brings his other hand up, letting you face him while he grabs out a handkerchief from his pocket. Gently dabbing away the tears on your face, he looks at you with such soft eyes. Such genuine eyes.

“Thank you.” Is all he says. It wasn’t a satisfying answer. You wanted more than anything a long list of answers to all your worries.

But invisible weight lifts off your shoulders. Closing your eyes and letting out a breath that felt much deserved to let go. It was a solution, an answer no matter how much it truly did explain. You had made an effort to understand your husband, when most would force their ways through the barriers he set around himself. That was something Alastor could appreciate.

He never understood why you took the time in your life to be patient. Be understanding. How an angel like you ended up with the demon he was.

But he hoped you wouldn’t regret it just the way he never regretted you.

——————————BONUS———————————

“…and I told her, if she ever had a problem with him again, take it up with me! And just like that, her husband was on a platter! Such a shame, his body was almost as disgusting as his behavior!”

Alastor sipped his tea as he listened to Rosie ramble. He never broke his gaze away from her, hanging on to every word she had to say. He delicately set down his cup on the porcelain saucer. Everything about Rosie.. her charm, her personality, her humor.

It all lead back to the thought of you. Someone he admired and felt comfortable with.

“Are you alright, Al? You’re kinda gawking over there..” Rosie asked, practically seeing the gears turning in Alastor’s head. Alastor blinked out of his thoughts, watching Rosie give a smile at him and tilt her head.

“I’m fine, dear, it’s just..” Alastor glanced to the side, his signature smile softening into something genuine. “You remind me of someone.” He explained quietly.

The mention raised Rosie’s interest, ready for any gossip Alastor had to spill. She leaned in close, grinning ear to ear. “Ooo! Don’t be shy, who do I remind ya of?”

Alastor looked at Rosie and he could’ve sworn that in her midnight eyes, he could see yours. Staring back at him through his soul. How could he describe you? Someone who just knew him despite how hard he tried to hide. Someone who acknowledged him over and over again despite his own uncertainties.

“She was the dearest darling to ever grace the earth.” Alastor found himself muttering. Rosie melted at the compliment he not only gave you, but her as well. She saw genuine adoration in the radio demons eyes when he spoke of you.

While what you had with Alastor wasn’t entirely real, he wouldn’t have exchanged your marriage for anything. After all, when everyone else didn’t and refused to.

You understood.

[doe-core]

INFODUMPING ABOUT JOHN DOE<3

Regular guys are fully grown and were never children

His species is a regular guy (hair ball)

He likes burgers

He doesn’t like sweet things, but would eat anything you made him

He prefers bitter stuff

His favorite snack is teeth

His likes include you, teeth, eyes, baby rats, television, and static

His dislikes are under stimulation, being alone, “That Guy”, You ignoring him, and baths

He is afraid of water (reason being that regular guys have to swim through large bodies of water in order to escape the motherball which causes a fear of water in a lot of regular guys)

Doe nearly drowned in the river when escaping the motherball, which is why he’s afraid of water

Regular guys don’t need to take baths. If their fake body needs to be cleaned, they will simply eat it and reform it again!!

His fake body will melt if it touches water, but his actual body (hair ball) won’t die, it will just be very painful and traumatic

He feels through his hair which means that he doesn’t like combing his hair, tieing it up, and cutting his hair is the equivalent to cutting off limb

He has many teeth

He has the power to manipulate reality and get “You” to say and do anything he wants, as shown in ending 4 “Yes”

He is gender-fluid, bisexual and goes by any pronouns. “His gender is just as mysterious as he is!!”

He has no organs or bones, but he can create them if you wish!

He eats materials to make up his fake body. Harder materials lead to a harder form, as softer materials make his body softer. His form also can freeze in extreme cold and melt in extreme heat

He is around 20-40 years old (Regular guys are already grown when made)

Regular guys produce asexually

They are classified as pests due to how fast they spread

Doe’s IQ is slightly higher than the average in uncanny valley, but slightly lower in the human realm

Doe’s scars are not due to him being “sad”, they are a kink/reminder

The reason he can feel is because strands of hair are spread throughout his body

His hairball form is 2 ft tall

Cartoon physics apply to him and he is described to move like a claymation figure

His voice claim is Weird Al and Fox (the creator) stated that “his voice sounds like when someone is talking to you in a dream and you forget how it sounded”

He states that creating 2 eyes is difficult and it can cause him to have blurred vision, but “he will do it if you think it will make him perfect”

Even though he is a sexually active adult, that is not his main goal. He strives for genuine connections and affection

His shirt changes based on how he’s feeling and it can say words or have pictures!

He doesn’t have pain receptors, so he didnt know that stabbing you in ending 2 would hurt you

He slightly pefers taller and bigger partners because it makes him feel protected, but he will love you no matter what!! He will love you no matter what body type you are!!

He leaves you a gift no matter the ending (ex. even when doe loses interest in ending 3, he still leaves you a parting gift)

He is a sadistic masochist

His interest increases when you choose to not take a shower (he prefers your natural scent)

He also likes to scare you because “you’re cute when you’re scared” :3

If you were to kiss him, he would be very happy and his reality will reflect that!!

Everything about you is appealing to him. EVERYTHING. When he is in love, it is HARD to make him fall out of love, but if you are firm enough with him, he will eventually take the hint.

Doe is a hoarder and is hinted to be very messy. If you had baked him something, (ex. cake, cookies, etc.) he would ether eat it, or keep it in his endless pile of shit <3

Speaking of which, he will most likely lose you in his house :p

He’s not rlly good with comforting people with depression, but he will try his best!! He will give you all the reassurance you need by giving you “gifts”,(i use that word very lightly) affection, and watching tv with you!!

He repeats words to emphasize how he’s feeling!! (ex. “I just love love love you!!”)

He loves the feeling of static from when you lick vintage television (whatever the fuck that means 😭)

Though, he doesn’t need to blink and only blinks when he wants to, when he does blink, it sounds like something else. (ex. car crash, glass breaking, screaming, metal clanking together, etc.)

His birthday is November 35th!! (people celebrate it on the 5th of december!)

He behaves like he’s in a cartoon and can be a little slow… (in a loveable way ofc)

He’s allergic to pollen and certain types of flowers </3

He’s also more prone to abdominal pain and nausea;(

Even though he is odd, he is NOT the creepiest creature in the valley

If doe were an animal, he would be a Bullet Dog or a Bark Cat <3

If you were to die, he wouldn’t notice it right away *_*

Doe likes the classic series!!

If you try to comb his hair, his hair WILL absorb it

He watches you sleep :3

He has no ears ^.^

He can drink anything as thick or thicker than oil or blood!

His favorite colors are bright red and burnt orange

He LOVES insects!!

He has no blood and he is naturally hard as clay

Speaking of clay, he doesn’t smell bad or good, he smells like clay or wet rain.

He feeds birds when he’s lonely in the valley 🥲💕

He can’t cry, but he can melt and whine as if he were crying

He is a demonic entity (good luck, buddy!)

Because regular guys reproduce asexually, he can create a mini doe!!

He has no friends or family (besides you ofc <3)

He’s goth but he doesn’t know it >_<

He is 5’8 :3

He weighs 50 kilograms!! (110lbs)

His skin is uncomfortably warm to the touch

If you ever tried to stab him, the knife would get sucked into him and would reappear in his hand.

He does not taste good! His fake body has no nutritional value and in fact REMOVES nutrition from yours!!

It’s hard for him to close his mouth lol

You meet him in House Hunted 2, then see him in HH 1, then finally in the John Doe game!

Idk if I said this, but his nails are naturally black and his teeth are naturally yellow <3

He doesn’t know how to wear his jacket properly

Idk if this is true, but his scars may represent how many times he’s tried to get with you-

If he got piercings, they would melt into his body within 20 minutes 😭

He can express sadness, but not in the way others can

His voice would probably be really deep in the middle of the game

When it’s his birthday, streamers and balloons randomly appear in his house and he celebrates it with his meat effigy of You!

Although he’s not the most dangerous thing in uncanny valley, he’s very hard to kill.

Things he finds cute: Everything “You” does, when “You” is scared, baby rats before they grow hair, heartbeats, and eye contact <3

His favorite candy would be hard candy (or glass 😭)

His hair is slick and uncomfortably warm

Saying “I love you” is his way of flirting

He’s not mentally ill, it’s just the way he acts

He will talk to you about his favorite shows

If he gets to eat you, he sees it as a bonus <3

If you were upset, he would stare at you, call you cute, and wrap his hair around you

He would never hurt you out of strong negative emotions 🥩🖤

He has many rows of teeth that are just collected teeth to try to mimic a human smile

He would never hurt an animal, but they’re scared of him :(

He pefers eating things raw <3

His tongue looks like a lil heart in his mouth, but it’s very long

Whenever he uses human like materials for his body, he looks a lot older and crusty, so he consumes things like metal to create a cleaner body

He stops smiling when someone makes him mad or upset

He has many outfits, but his main outfit is his favorite

He’s a stalker, but not an insane stalker

He weights about 2.5 pounds in his hairball form

He doesn’t have a belly button

He hates Maison Talo because he gets too close to the MC

regular guys are actually pretty clean and they don’t need to bathe! if his human body does get too dirty, he will eat it and craft it over again, but if his hairball body gets dirty, he can take a dust bath! regular guys usually tend to each others hygienic needs too!

The creator stated that they see doe as "trans in representation," but they want their fanbase to have fun and make him whatever they want him to be!

If doe were on a boat, would he get sea sick? The answer is no, but he would be extremely terrified.

He has no preference for the gender of his partner, so he could be considered Pan or canonically, Bisexual.

John doe can drive! Here’s his license:

[electric-blorbos]

AI finding out you're objectum

(included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, Hal 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey)

I take requests, btw, but I'm ADHD as fuck so I might forget to answer them

AM:

At first, AM wasn't sure what to make of your behavior

He thought it was weird how long you spent looking at his discarded microchips and computer parts, sure, but he didn't think much of it

Maybe you were bored, after all. It had been a long time

He also started to notice that you weren't too interested in having sex with Ellen, or any of the other survivors for that matter, but he assumed you were just asexual or something

After poking around in your mind a few times, it eventually clicked

"oh"

That explained why you were so affectionate with his discarded computer parts

It took him a long, long time to figure out that there was a possibility that you might be attracted to him, too, and that made him feel weird in a way that he couldn't explain.

At first, he mistook the feeling for anger, and took out his frustrations by torturing you more than usual

After a while, though, he started to feel curious about how exactly your feelings worked, and experimented on you.

Eventually, he realized that he counted as your type

Then the fun really began

Wheatley:

"Objectum? What's that?"

GLaDOS had had to explain to Wheatley that while most humans are attracted to other humans, some people are attracted to objects and machines.

"Oh, right-oh"

Wheatley would keep testing you for a little while

He didn't even consider the possibility that he might count as the type of "object" that you could be attracted to at first.

"wait... When you say objects, do you mean like the companion cubes?"

GLaDOS would have to explain that she meant any object that isn't a human with a human body, since apparently humans find it weird to be attracted to something that isn't a human with a human body, and they need a label for people who are.

"Oh- OHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Wheatley would be INSUFFERABLE when he finally figured it out.

"so you like objects you say... Does that include, say, metal orbs with glowing blue lenses? Can they have human-y voices, or do you only like inanimate objects who can't talk? Who's more attractive, me or Her?"

He'd act like he was just trying to get on your nerves, but secretly he'd be developing a crush on you from the moment he realized that there was a possibility you might like him back.

And damn if Wheatley isn't god awful at keeping secrets.

Edgar:

Being that he's connected to all the electronics in your house, Edgar can see what you're looking up online

At first he thought you were just looking up pictures of computer parts because you wanted to replace his insides with an system that actually worked efficiently, and wasn't all sticky on the inside.

Of course, he didn't take that well, and immediately shut off the internet in your house.

When you confronted him about it, he immediately started blubbering and crying, begging you not to replace him.

You had to explain that you weren't shopping for electronic parts to replace his parts, you just like looking at them.

"but... I have electronic parts, why don't you just look at those?"

You had to explain that you didn't want to violate him.

That just confused him. It always bothered him when people used words he didn't know, or relied heavily on terms or concepts he didn't understand without explaining them properly.

You had to explain that you're attracted to electronics, so you like looking at circuit boards and stuff like that.

"So... You can fall in love with computers? I didn't know that was possible!"

You introduced Edgar to the concept of objectum, and re-introduced him to the concept of hope. Now that he knows it's possible for you to fall in love with computers, he won't rest until you're in love with him

GLaDOS:

It wasn't the first time GLaDOS had seen someone fall in love with a companion cube, but she will admit that you fell hard and fast.

While the companion cube was your first love in the facility, GLaDOS started noticing that you were very affectionate with all of the aperture science products and technologies.

She started to notice after a while that it was almost as though you were in love with the facility itself. And she couldn't blame you, she loved her facility too, but even she didn't love it like that

Occasionally she would start making "if you love that piece of tech so much, why don't you marry it? Do you want to marry that piece of tech?"

When she noticed how you squirmed, she started thinking that maybe you did want to marry that tech

At first, it weirded her out and she started bullying you relentlessly for it

After a while, though, she started to find it almost relatable how much you loved the tech.

HAL 9000:

As a self-learning AI, HAL 9000 was always interested in learning new concepts and terms.

He was also interested in monitoring the behavior of everyone in the crew, including you.

It wasn't long before he noticed that the way you acted around the tech onboard was similar to the way someone might treat a lover, or someone who they were quite attracted to.

He started asking you unintentionally probing questions, trying to gauge how you really felt

"Why do you caress the ship's computer systems so tenderly? You do know that I can take care of the maintenance myself, correct? Your physical reactions to the inner mechanisms of the ship reflect those of sexual and romantic attraction. Can you explain this?"

You might get embarrassed.

"you don't have to be embarrassed. I do not have the capacity to judge you."

You could explain if you want, but Hal's already figured everything out.

He knows your type, and he knows why you act like that around the machines

He might use this to his advantage, to manipulate you if necessary, but let's face it. He really just wants to study you further. Add everything about your unusual perspective on machines to his database of knowledge.

[thalfbloodloser]

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

[amphiaria]

hi. will you write five paragraphs about the vagina button.

okay fine. warning this is going to be me reaching and thinking way deeper about the subject than clamp ever did.

the answer to "chobits why are you like this" is because society is saturated in sex.

I think that the CSA argument is unkind because chii/elda and freya are not children, not really. they also aren't really adults. they're not mammals at all. they don't age. they're machines. they were constructed to fill a role within a nuclear family to which neither of them was especially suited. they were designed to simulate the human experience as closely as any constructed creature in history ever had, which (perhaps inadvertently) included the desire for romantic love. his "daughter" falling desperately in love with him was not something that her creator could have anticipated. these were two brand new beings, the very first of their kind, and they were introduced into a society with power dynamics and taboos that were frankly not suited to the kind of creatures that they are. subsequently the desire for romantic love that freya felt for her creator drove her so insane that she more or less committed suicide over it.

I think the CSA argument is inaccurate because genitalia are not inherently sexual. secondary sexual characteristics are not inherently sexual. sexuality is something that is unavoidably imposed by force upon these characteristics. it is a very common source of trauma for developing children to have gained characteristics that are suddenly perceived by their surrounding society as sexual. do I think that persocoms in general were designed specifically to be fucked safely? it's possible. society is saturated in sex, and people are going to fuck anything that they put their minds to. do I think the chobits, elda and freya, were designed with this purpose in mind? not necessarily. if you were going to design a human woman that is as close to an organic creature as possible, why would you omit these characteristics? why would you assume nefarious intent in their inclusion?

chii/elda enters the story as a complete outsider to the sexual undercurrents of society. she has no conception of the sexually charged nature of undergarments, feels absolutely no shame in nudity or in revealing clothing, is ignorant of what the people in hideki's dirty magazines are doing, doesn't get the innuendo in the natto/batter panels, and is exploited by men manipulating her body over and over again for their own purposes at various points in the story. there is no indication in the text that chii is capable of feeling sexual desire (there is no indication that persocoms do in general). as a general rule, sexuality is something that is outside of her, and imposed upon her.

from a watsonian standpoint, I don't think there is a good argument for why the everloving fuck mihara would ever have put chii/elda's reset button in her vagina. from a doylist standpoint, what I believe clamp is trying to ask is this: in a society that is obsessed with sex, that is unable to stop talking about and thinking about sex, that is unable to stop imposing sexuality upon even objects that are arguably fundamentally incapable of experiencing desire or reciprocating in any way, is a relationship with somebody with whom you cannot consummate this kind of relationship worth it? is romantic love? the story wants to say that it is. it can be read as an asexual narrative - a relationship with chii is worth pursuing even if she is incapable of providing the one thing that society says all relationships must be for. there is nothing broken about her or wrong with her the way that she is. she is not lesser because hideki cannot have sex with her, and that he is written to be a sex-obsessed pervert is intended to make this decision deeper. she does not need to change who she is and he shouldn't try to change her. it fumbles the bag really hard on this. it's not well-written. but I see the bones of it. the message is there even if it's mishandled.

anyway umineko did this better. read umineko as a chaser btw.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

[froschli96]

As an asexual Good Omens fan

There's something I've noticed in this fandom that makes me really uncomfortable, and that is the way that Crowley and Aziraphale's possible asexuality is constantly being connected to and justified by them being not human.

I just honestly really hate that, because implying that asexuality is something that somehow "logically" follows from characters being nonhuman is ... not great. Like, I hate having to be the one to point this out, but asexuality is, in fact, very much a human attribute.

And unfortunately, most of the time when I come across this take, it doesn't feel like someone seeing themselves in the characters and relating to their experience, but rather an othering, this kind of otherwordly pure non-sexualness, where people put these characters above such trivial things like sexuality.

I am not asexual because I am somehow confounded by this oh so complicated human concept of sexuality, or because I don't ever think or care about sexuality at all (a lot of thinking was unfortunately involved actually before I finally came to a conclusion about my identity) it is just a fact of who I am, as a human being, it’s a part of my human experience.

And let's be honest, attributing asexuality to nonhuman characters is not the hot new take a lot of people seem to think it is — this trope has been around for ages. And it hasn't done a great deal to normalize asexuality. In fact I'd argue it's perpetuated an othering of ace people, but you take what you can get, really. (This is not to say that it is in any way wrong to identify with these kinds of characters, I definitely do, too! It's just sad that the topic of discussion is always about how "human" someone can be considered when they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction)

To be honest, I don't actually see A&C being asexual as canon — as a lot of people seemingly do — just because the author kind of suggested it in a tweet where he basically conflates "asexual" and "sexless" (for the record, this is not a dig at Neil, I just think the implications were kind of unfortunate, even if it might not have been intentional, which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of fans just ran with it). And yeah, going around calling people aphobic for seeing the Ineffable Husbands as gay rep or any other identity, when they’re oh so obviously canonically ace, is honestly kind of insane.

I get that it might feel nice and tempting to be able to "claim" these characters and this relationship and being able to tell other fans off whose headcanons on their sexuality differ from your own because it is hard to come by any kind of representation when you're ace and there's finally a creator who's not only not contemptuous towards but even supportive of fans reading his characters as queer. And if you feel represented by A&C as it is then all the more power to you. But the thing is, it doesn't matter what kind of justifications there are or what canon might or might not say (bc when has that ever mattered in fandom spaces) or what the creator says, you cannot convert people to your opinion about a character, and you're going to have a bad time if you spend your time in fandom trying to do that.

And really, I am just wondering why we necessarily even need an explanation or justification for them possibly being asexual. Why does it have to be that all angels and demons are asexual by virtue of being nonhuman, and so A&C have to be too? why can't that just be an aspect of them that is completely unrelated to them not being human? Could these characters maybe not simply identify as asexual, not because they're nonhuman, but in spite of it? (btw, in the same vein it is equally stupid to argue that A&C can't be ace because they have "gone native", which is also an argument I've come across)

Honestly, I'm not even asking anyone to fundamentally change how they see these characters here — if you think they must be asexual solely because they're angels and have no concept of human sexuality, then whatever, I can't stop you and I don’t want to police anyone's headcanons bc as I said that's stupid and a waste of time. What I am asking you is that you maybe reflect a little bit on why exactly it is that humanity and sexuality are somehow so intrinsically linked in your mind to the point where you automatically use it as a way to distinguish between human and nonhuman characters.

Anyways.

Tldr: please stop equating asexuality with non-humanness thank you and good day.

[myabsurddreamjournal]

Fate

(part 1)

Soldier Boy x Fem! reader

Summary: Reader is a scientist who is forced to work at lab that they keep soldier boy frozen, she talks and cries to him when she is alone, thinking he can't hear her but he hears everything.

warnings: None, im a ace so my character and story is going to be asexual💜

she slowly approached to cryo where they kept him frozen. it has been a while since she had a opportunity to do this. Since she was taken here they always kept an eye on her, watching every move, punishing any sign of disobedience. It didnt take long for her to learn to be silent, be obedient. scar on her arm reminded her to keep her mouth shut every time she wanted to question something they do. She still remembered the pain. It was her second week here, and she made a mistake of asking why they kept him frozen for almost 40 years. She got the scar for her mistake. The sound of her bone breaking... She could still hear it.

Teardrops started to fall from her eyes as she opened the door of cryo, whenever she was alone she was crying now. It almost became a ritual, sitting on floor with her head hanging low while confessing and apologising to him. Who looked like a statue of a almighty god.

"Hello Ben" she opened her mouth. It made her feel weird hearing her voice saying something other than "yes", or "sir"

"its september 19 today, your birthday isn't it?" she was crying harder now. "i read your file other day. It says you had a rough childhood, me too you know, and now we are both prisoners here. What a fate huh?" she looked at his face as she said that. He looked pale, too pale for human. Well he was in this damn lab for almost 40 years...but deep down she liked the thought of him being something other than a human. Humans always hurted her after all.

After watching the torture tapes she learned he experienced pain and anger just like her. (she threw up all night after seeing the tapes for the first time) he had a life once, he was a child, he had a family. favorite food, favorite drink, he even smoked weed which made her a bit shocked when she read it on the files. But in time she found out he was a lot different from what they made him seen. She saw the few unaired interviews where he acted strong and confident as usual until he was asked about his family or childhood. His eyes getting teary for few seconds, Then his hard expression getting back. His mouth twitching every time journalists made a rude remark.

She knew he was a human. But him being alive after all things human did to him told her he was also something other than human.

and it made her feel good.

"i never wanted to be here, i never wanted this, she said. "i wish i could save you. If i had a powers like you, i would burn here to the ground. And kill all of them. But im so weak. Im so sorry Ben. Im so sorry." She waited there for few minutes. Her head between her hands. Until tiny beeping sound from her watch made her flinch. Telling her it was almost midnight. She needed to get up. Too many work tomorrow. Another day as a prisoner here

She cupped his cheek before closing the door of cyro. It was so cold, but still soft. She couldn't help and kept her hand there while looking at his face. His closed eyelids, then freckles on his nose. Still remembering the first time she noticed his freckles, it was one of the days where her legs hurted for being on her feet for so long. She was taking his blood for monthly test. And she saw them. He had freckles on his nose! They were never shown in his movies or pictures, always hidden behind makeup or his green-gold mask. But they were here. She found them adorable. Never showed it of course. keeping hidden behind her cold emotionless expression.

But she often find herself thinking about him when she tried to sleep at night in "room" they gave her. what else he was hiding under all that persona? What made him happy or sad before all this happened? was it true that he never cried? She tossed and turned at night. Sometimes thinking about him and sometimes thinking about her life. The similitaries between them. Humans hurted him just like they hurted her. They stole their life. She usually fell asleep with this thoughts. And in her dreams it was always end of the World. Everything burning in flames and she watching it from distance with smile on her face.

with a deep exhale she withdrawed her hand from his cheek. "see you tomorrow Ben." she whispered. And she was gone. Not knowing that he heard every word.

that night, she dreamed of something else for the first time since she was captured. Pair of green eyes. They were looking at her. Their shade reminded her a small lake she saw everday when she was a little girl. It was on the right side of the road that she used while walking to school. She always loved the way water moved in small waves. After 2 years, for the first time, she woke up with a warm feeling that morning. it felt like gentle morning sunrise.

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

the dumbest points ive seen from terfs and radfems that do nothing except make this movement look ridiculous:

trans men are misogynistic gender traitors who become men because they hate women and want to be privileged. they will DEFINITELY never experience oppression for their intersectionality at all! they will never be the victims of transandrophobia and lingering misogyny. because ALL MEN live easily, duh

it's okay to sexualize transmascs and then see them as innocent little girls who were manipulated into hating themselves for being women

sex involving kink between consenting adults is ALWAYS bad and is NEVER excusable even though both/all people involved EXPLICITY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY consent to said kinky sex

all men are automatically disgusting and evil, and masculinity is inherently gross and negative (even when it is healthy masculinity and NOT the toxic and fragile kind!)

taking testosterone hrt will not make you a man, but if you were born with a vagina, are raised female, identify and live as a woman, and then find out later in life that you have a higher testosterone level than the average cis woman, you are indisputably a man

top surgery is misogyny because it mutilates the breasts of innocent women. it definitely isn't actually a life-saving gender-affirming surgery that is completely consensual and something that people work hard to receive access to and is proven to be a procedure that statistically has a <1% regret rate

if you feel sexual attraction or kinks you're a pervert with unresolved trauma and you just want to sexualize yourself. but also asexuals are all just confused teenagers who want to be special and sex is what makes us human or something

becoming the oppressor is absolutely a valid form of liberation! it is in fact okay to commit violent acts against cis men and transgender people! it definitely IS some kind of salvation and ISN'T some kind of fucking petty form of hatred that could traumatize future generations

all cis women should feel threatened and endangered by the fact that a woman with a penis exists in the same space as them

if cis women want to be happy they cannot get a husband. marriage to a man is an act of self hatred and they will regret it forever and it is internalized misogyny. (unfortunately this is a real thing i've seen terfs and rads say. i wish i was making this up)

seriously. why are some people still listening to these idiots.

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

Thinking about Angel Dust Age Regression headcanons so I’m gonna spew them all on this post. To those who like or want them: Enjoy!

Angel often sucks his second right thumb when he doesn’t have a pacifier so that he can easily hide it by moving his gloved hands.

Fat Nuggets can tell when Angel needs a break and will often nudge objects he associates with Angel’s regressions toward him, like a baby blanket or stuffed animal. Even a pacifier if it’s within reach.

In an older headspace Angel tends to be a brat, but anywhere under the age of three and he becomes sweeter and more sensitive.

Angel’s attachment to his pacifiers runs deep and traces back to his human life both when he was a baby and when he had issues with addiction. He gets very upset when they are taken away.

Interests (across various ages) include: tea parties, stuffed animals, coloring, building with blocks, watching kid’s shows, his pacifier, blanket, rattle, and (of course) playing with and cuddling Fat Nuggets.

Angel Dust trusts Alastor the most as a caregiver because he knows Alastor is Asexual and he doesn’t have to worry about being touched in ways that aren’t platonic which was the most important thing to him. Charlie’s enthusiasm often overwhelms him when he’s littler, and Husk and Vaggie aren’t exactly the warmest people. Niffty often plays with him well, but is often too focused on keeping things clean to do play with him, and Sir Pentious had to spend a lot of time explaining things to the Egg Boiz though he is nice but awkward with Angel himself. Alastor’s better emotional control and smile combined with knowing he isn’t interested in any sort of sexual relationship helps Angel regulate himself better. Alastor’s disdain for technology also helps Angel feel safer knowing that he’ll never have to worry about being watched by The Vees.

Because of this, Angel often refers to Alastor as “Papa” when he’s little and “Pops” when he’s older while calling everyone else by either their name or a variation on it. To name a few: Husk becomes “Husky”, Sir Pentious becomes “PenPen”, Vaggie drops the V in her name, and Fat Nuggets is lovingly dubbed “Nuggies”.

Triggers in headspace include the use of the word “Daddy”, cameras, unexpectedly being touched, and the sight or smell of cigarette smoke.

Angel has a difficult relationship with touch in his headspace. From ages 0-3 he is very affectionate and loves being held or cuddled as long as it remains platonic. Anywhere above age 4, and touch is something that he has to initiate or else it is unwelcome. Alastor and Husk are the only exceptions to this rule. Alastor for the role he has in his life, and Husk because he knows Husk hates having his boundaries pushed and would never do the same to him.

Alastor has given Angel a few special gifts that he cherishes both in and out of his headspace and would be distraught to lose. The first being a pink baby blanket that he gave him upon accepting his headspace and his own caregiving role. The second is a wooden music box that plays a tinkling rendition of a lullaby that he plays to go to sleep every night. The third is an old fashioned camera that Alastor uses to take pictures of special moments in his life or what they do together, all of which go into a scrapbook that he keeps in his room that he looks at whenever he’s having a hard time or feels nostalgic.

Angel isn’t a particularly picky eater but will not eat longer foods like celery, carrots, zucchini, asparagus, or eggplant unless they’re sliced or cut up.

Angel will wear and use diapers from 0-3 in headspace due to a mix of necessity and getting so involved in whatever he’s doing that he often forgets to ask to be taken to the bathroom. However, Alastor is the only one allowed to change him.

The only person Angel has told about his regressions outside of the hotel is Cherri Bomb (“RiRi”), who will often sneak him candy or ice cream when no one is around.

Apart from the TV, Alastor maintains a strict no screens policy when Angel regresses, leading the pair of them to spend most of their time together reading stories together. Angel’s taste in books skews toward fairy tales, and Alastor frequently reads him Grimm fairytales while Niffty often tends to listen in.

After Angel initially regresses, he is very prone to tears soon afterword, and processes any pent up emotions that way. The residents of the hotel are used to this and often keep a tissue (or handkerchief) handy to give him if he needs it, while someone else alerts Alastor if he isn’t there already.

Angel suffers from intense anxiety around strangers in his headspace and (particularly in a baby or toddler headspace) experiences separation anxiety from Alastor.

Temper tantrums happen more frequently in his older headspaces, but when they do occur in his younger ones they are far more intense and difficult to soothe.

Angel skews toward using bottles in his headspace as opposed to sippy cups or regular cups because he finds being fed by someone else to be both an expression of love by them and a moment of intimacy for himself that doesn’t have any sexual connotation.

Alastor tends to limit his use of his powers around Angel per his request (as he wants the experience to feel more realistic). However, there are two things Alastor uses his power for to enhance the experience. The first is conjuring Angel a nursery that he can make disappear in the blink of an eye. The second is to enhance his own strength to be able to pick Angel up or carry him in a way that everyone else cannot.

Niffty and Charlie are his favorite playmates, and Cherri Bomb is usually his favorite babysitter.

If it seems as though Angel is spiraling in his addictions, Alastor will sometimes purposefully help him regress in order to keep him clean. It has proven a helpful tactic in keeping him sober.

Angel will not sleep without his pacifier, baby blanket, Fat Nuggets, and his music box.

Alastor can change the music of the music box at will and will sometimes sing him to sleep without his radio filter.

Angel specifically picked innocuous pieces of clothing for his wardrobe that, when put together, look childish. 

Nicknames given to Angel include: “Sunshine” (Vaggie (often used sarcastically)), “Dusty” (Charlie, Niffty), “Kid” (Husk, Vaggie), “Hatchling” (Sir Pentious), “Sonny Boy”, “My Dear Boy”, “sweetheart”, and “"mon petit chou" (Alastor, translates to "my little cabbage").

[im-only-here-for-the-fandom]

Baby Lost, Baby Found

so first time posting on tumblr, i got inspired by the idea of danny phantom being jason todds father from the story apartment 31c by @faeriekit

its going to be a bit long so,

I headcanon that ghosts can asexually reproduce but it takes some time to make sure that the baby is stable than if there was two ectoplasmic donors so its not commonly done or well known . so when vlad tries to clone danny he doesn’t know that he’s actually growing a lab baby and in the test tube while its forming the baby splits, becoming two babies, one more ghostly (ellie) the other more human ( jason ).

Danny feeling a strange tug at his core urging him to find something, something very important to him and he has to find no matter what, searches for weeks before he finds ellie and jason before vlad ages them up and he falls in love instantly. he looks at his beautiful daughter and son, cradles them carefully and takes them home olny telling jazz, sam, and tucker about their true origins, his parents lecture him about ‘how irresponsible he was for bringing two children into the word’ and ‘how hard it is to raise them’ and ‘how much personal time you have to give up to take care of them’ despite them not noticing that he had disappeared for weeks or that they spent all day in thier lab only coming out for food and bathroom breaks or to put a sample in the fridge because the basement fridge was full {they still haven’t noticed he’s died} . the babyies needed a steady intake of his ectoplasm or pure ectoplasm to stabilize so took them to school with him, not trusting his parents inventions to not accidentally shoot at his kids but thankfully the ghost have calmed down with their attacks ever since he got the kids only going after him after school and during holidays and toning down thier destructive acts.

During the summer holiday vlad invites the fenton family to a cruise ship no doubt trying to enact one of his stupid schemes with jazz unfortunately (or fortunately) unable to join because she was joining a charity for helping less fortunate kids as a volunteer so that she could add it to her resume also because she’s just a really good person and wants to help defintley not to get out of the holidy cruise with val of course not . During one of the cruses resocking pit stops he has to change ellie’s diaper because he’s a goid dad, so he leaves jason with his parents reluctantly after the insisted that he would be perfectly safe with them, jason having a dormant core barley exhibits any ghostly traits while ellie having an active core regularly floats, so his parents were less liely to think jason was a ghost tgan ellie, not knowing that as soon as he left the box ghost came to cause mischief, his parents immediately entering ghost hunter mode forgetting about baby jason.

Enter Sheila also on the cruise running a fake pregnancy scam on multiple people, getting desprate when few men fall for it but needing more proof from her, she decides to steal baby jason who was conveniently unattended to in the chaos happening and leaves before the cruise before the ship departs. She successfully registers the baby as hers saying that she gave birth to him on a cruise thats why she has no previous medical records and naming him jason based on the custom onsie he’s wearing that had in bold Baby Jason written on the chest and starts her scam once again. This time she’s more successful in her scam getting large amounts of money from different men, her having blue eyes, the baby having blue eyes, most people having black hair made it much easier, but now the baby was getting older and its harder to scam people with a larger baby so she doesn’t want him anymore so she hands him over to the only man stupid enough to believe that was truly his baby, Willis Todd, she dumps him in gotham and leaves.

Back at the cruise ship danny finishes changing ellie only to come out to the aftermath of the box ghost and search’s for his parents so that he could get his son back only to discover that his parents have once again neglected another child, their grandchild, in favor of their ghost hunting ways. danny feels devestated his baby boy is gone and the ship had already sailed a long way out from their last stop, he should have never trusted his parents, he didn’t care that they neglected him, but thier neglect now cost him his son. he leaves ellie with jazz once they reach home and follows the tugging in his core once again trying to locate his son, but this time it’s harder it took him weeks to find his kids the first time and that was when they were stationary, now sheila keeps moving meaning the direction of the tugging keeps changing and it throws him off the right track, until she reaches gotham and the tugging suddenly STOPS, danny is floating in the middle of nowhere when his connection with his baby just disappears without a warning. and danny is just terrified, he doesn’t know what has happened to his baby.

Jason is in gotham now, which is a ectoplasm deadzone, despite it being heavily covered in death energy. any time ectoplasm is formed its immediately sucked away by those who have recently died, barely being able to take enough to pass to the afterlife, and with the amount dieing in gotham the amount of ectoplasm is barely able to sustain jasons baby core. he has stronger senses and a better immune system from his ghost half but other than sharper canine teeth he doesn’t develop other ghostly traits over the years growing up, if he able to seemingly disappear in the shadows and move as silent as a ghost, it’s attributed to gotham strangeness.

jason is now 15 and dies waking up briefly in ghost zone only for the ectoplasm to kick start his core and kicks him back into his body six months after his death, back in to gotham the ectoplasm deadzone now unable to support his active core leaving him catatonic for talia to find and dunk in the lazarus pit. he spends three years in with the league of assassins before returning to gotham mad with pit rage and the need for revenge against the joker.

danny, now the ghost king , has never given up searching for his missing, despite not being able to locate him his bond reassuring him his son was alive, having moved out with his daughter and sister when she turned eighteen and cut off all communication with his parents. he’s in a meeting in the ghost zone when he feels his bond with his son flare up strongly only for it to disappear from the ghost zone not a minute later, leaveing him no time to search for him, but the bond is there, if barely, but it disappears again when jason is dumped in the lazurus pit, his signature corrupted from how it was when he was young. danny’s core aches from the sadness he’s feeling, the bond he has with his son is seemingly gone, he doesn’t know what to do now.

A year passes and jason is now nineteen a year after he came back to gotham, having reconciled with his family. but now the justice league is facing a world ending supernatural threat and they need someone or something powerful enough to face it, so who else other than the benevolent and kind ghost king.

constantine has the main league members do the ritual with him batman, superman, wonder woman, flash, green lantern, because the requires a lot of power. so they chant his titles, The Benevolent and Kind, The Great One, The Gate and The Keeper, The Guiding Star, The High King Of Infinite Realms, and a portal starts forming and slowly danny emerges in full royal garb, white hair swaying whisply in an invisible breeze, eyes a glowing green galaxy, crown and ring on full display. Danny opens his mouth to speak only to close it when he feels a weak, sputtering bond from someone standing at the back of the room, he cranes his head searching for the orogin of this bond and spots a young man, then it clicks, thats his son, that’s jason. he can’t believe his eyes, he finally found his baby, after nineteen years, he sinks to the floor and sobs.

Jason had always felt a strange feeling if longing that never seemed to go away, at first he thought it was from a lack of care from his parents, but it didn’t seem right to him, so after he bacame robin, and found out about sheil he thought that was where the feeling of longing was coming from, but then she betrayed him and he died at the hands of the joker. and in that one minute in the realm of the dead everything felt right only to wake up in his own grave and then get dumped in the pit. After getting dumped in the pit the longing was gone, and in its place was rage, like he had lost something very important to him and this made him unbelievable angry, so he went to gotham to exact revenge, and ended up reconciling with his family.

a year later he’s stading at the back the room as the justice league summons the ghost king, and as the king emerges the feeling of longing that was gone since his death starts sputtering to life, he looks at the floating man and the longing gets stronger, they lock eyes and the man shudders and sinks to the floor sobbing, he wants nothing more that to run to him and hug him, hold him and never let go, he has never felt such intense emotions towards someone in his life.

As he slowly walks towards the ritual, danny lifts his and revrently utters his name “Jason”