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#look i could have gone with as in being born but i sort of did that in the intro so what else did you expect

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#5

Weekend Top Ten #534

Top Ten Tom Cruise Films

So we return once again to the well of Listing an Actor’s Fillums. I quite like doing this, although I do wonder if it’s just going to show up glaring gaps in my film knowledge because I haven’t seen, say, Born on the Fourth of July. But anyway! Let’s plough on!

Tom Cruise, what a guy, eh? One of these genuinely larger-than-life actors, not just a movie star but a force of nature – the living manifestation of destiny, if you will. He’s legitimately good – Oscar-worthy – but he also has with him an aura of other-worldliness. Frankly, what he does seems not just impossible, but, like, implausible. He could make movies without jumping off things. He really could! It’s true! Adam Sandler manages it. But Cruise still does all these crazy things; he can’t fight like Iko Uwais or Donnie Yen – or even Keanu Reeves – but he still manages to pull off scenes that are just insane to behold. His films are events, and even if he’s making sequels to a beloved franchise, really the franchise is Tom Cruise Films.

So he’s a cool, charismatic leading man, with genuine acting chops, who somehow manages to always one-up himself in terms of a unwavering commitment to physically and mentally taxing stunt work (including, let’s not forget, flying jets for real in Top Gun: Maverick). But at the same time he tends to operate at this level of remove. We can’t fault him for his desire for privacy, but even setting aside specifics, he approaches everything with an almost messianic zeal and rictus grin that is, for some, off-putting. Whatever attributes he has – and to be clear, I like him a lot as an actor – he’s not really in that warm and fuzzy Tom Hanks zone, or even the nice-guy action hero mode of, say, Christ Hemsworth (I’m leaving that typo in because I have decided now that Jesus looks like this). He’s like this Hollywood monolith, immense and fascinating but also, in a funny way, alien and unrelatable. He does impossible things for odd reasons but they also, for the most part, turn out to be really, really great.

And here are my ten favourite films of his.

A Few Good Men (1992): oooh, an Aaron Sorkin film tops the list, big surprise David. But this really is an all-timer. A superb – superb – script, fantastically orchestrated by Rob Reiner at the height of his powers, a cast to die for, and Cruise at his best, channelling his two great attributes – cocky wankerism and earnest, soulful humanism – to weapons-grade effect.

The Mission: Impossible Franchise (1996-2024): gah, already I cheat. Yes, I don’t really see the point in splitting the franchise; there would probably be two or three separate films here otherwise. But Cruise’s performance as Ethan Hunt is probably the most iconic of his career, as he acts suave and cool whilst running up things or diving off them or clinging onto them. The variety of tones and styles and the increasingly bonkers stuntwork helps define a franchise that is going to be nearly thirty years old when Cruise finally bows out of it, and arguably has produced better films than Bond or Bourne. Oh, and for the record – with a re-watch sorely needed – I’d rank them Fallout, 1, Rogue, Ghost, 2, 3.  

Rain Man (1988): arguably the hardest and most successful performance of his career, opposite Dustin Hoffman’s attention-sucking turn. Hoffman got all the plaudits back in the day, but Cruise’s slow-burn shift from, basically, entitled shit to empathetic and melancholy carer is beautifully, organically, realistically played out – and, I’d argue, has aged better.

Collateral (2004): Cruise has rarely played proper baddies (I’d love to see him in a Tarantino film), but he’s cool as ice here, with his salt-and-pepper do, coercing Jamie Foxx into driving him round an ice-cold pitch-black LA as he goes from kill to kill. A tense, gorgeous film, but a great performance from Cruise as the slick assassin.

Edge of Tomorrow (2014): cruise has an ease with charm and/or smarm, and often subverts it in interesting ways; such as the opening of this film, when he’s the slippery coward getting by on his flash and pomp. This gives way to earnest, hard-won heroism as the film progresses, but it’s a bold move; as is the trippy time-loop plot. Thoroughly underrated, this is probably the closest a Cruise film comes to “cult classic”.

Minority Report (2002): there’s a cold, aloof slickness to Spielberg’s direction in this one – lots of glass and lens flare and a desaturated palette – as Cruise’s grieving cop goes on the run. Cruise is very good at running, one of cinema’s all-time great runners, and he deploys that skill to fantastic effect here, managing to feel like the endangered everyman resorting to all manner of freaky sci-fi trickery to clear his name. Feels a little undersung, this one, despite its pedigree; those funky stun-guns deserve a lot of praise.

Magnolia (1999): a dense and complex ensemble of mixed emotions and varying degrees of tragedy, Cruise is shocking as the utterly hateful self-help guru preaching misogynistic bollocks to his crowds of arsehole followers. Yes, yes, we all remember his dialogue and all the swears, but it’s how his layers are gradually unpeeled by the plot that really hits home.

Jerry Maguire (1996): another case of Cruise undermining his own cool image, here as an agent in the midst of an existential crisis. He owns this film, carries it entirely, with a performance that is almost all outward bluster and internal angst, frantically struggling to keep above water. He utterly sells it, makes Jerry a compelling and convincing character, and I don’t care how cheesy it is, “you had me at hello” always makes me cry.

Tropic Thunder (2008): another shocking and surprising supporting turn from Cruise, here displaying comic chops we rarely see. His performance as an utterly awful mogul might have dated a bit, post-Weinstein, but it’s so completely out-there it has to be seen to be believed. In a film full of out-there stuff, it fits right in, and serves as an indication that Cruise has more range than he’s often given credit for.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999): a very strange and divisive film, I really love how Cruise’s intense, internalised doctor carries the narrative just by wandering round strange places, meeting strange people, and seeing some very strange things. It’s an entirely reactive performance with no show or bluster, very languid, almost serene; the calm centre in a storm of batshit intensity and soft porn shenanigans.

4 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#4

Weekend Top Ten #529

Top Ten Channel 4 Programmes

I’ve said this many times, but because I often like to tie these lists to things that are happening in the real world, or at least specific dates, it sometimes means that I shunt things around, or have a good idea but it has to get pushed back a bit to make room. So it was a couple of weeks ago, when The Powers That Be decided that for entirely partisan reasons, Channel 4 would be privatised. Like many others, I don’t think this is a good idea; Channel 4 has been home to some remarkable telly for the last thirty-odd years, and the way its funded and the way it develops programmes is not only special and unique, but it’s also specifically designed to foster and promote home-grown content (from the private sector, no less!). Quite simply, I can’t think of an economic or creative reason to privatise Channel 4, unless you stood to gain personally from its sale, or if you felt its exemplary news coverage would become more cowed and fearful under a corporate hand.

Hmmm.

Anyway, all this news has kind of blown over for a bit, as we focus once again on horrors abroad and righteous fury here at home. But it stuck with me, because I wanted to do something to celebrate, to praise Channel 4. For most of my life – certainly the bits where I think of me as me, which is to say from about the age of ten onwards – Channel 4 has been my favourite channel. It showed edgier stuff, funnier stuff; great home-grown comedies and quiz shows, awesome imported stuff. There was a while there where 6pm on a weeknight was almost guaranteed to give you some good stuff, and the whole “comedy from 9pm” thing on a Friday night was a reason to stay in when I was still too young to go out. They showed great films (hell, they made great films), they had interesting and provocative dramas, and – this is genuinely important – sometimes they were a bit rude.

More than just the quality of their programming, though, they shaped me, helped me foster my own identity. I very quickly gravitated towards Channel 4 and BBC2 as I entered my teens, finding interest and solace in the quirkier and edgier stuff they offered, away from the mainstream. Below you’ll find ten series that I adored, and that were hugely influential, and I’ll try to explain why; but beyond that, Channel 4 was a window to a wider world. I graduated from Roald Dahl to stuff like Michael Crichton and Stephen King almost overnight, I started reading Empire magazine, and I’d watch weird films on Channel 4, strange documentaries, programmes fronted by Jonathan Ross, who’d interview scabrous comedians I’d never heard of. It’s all wrapped up, for me, with discovering Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith, with hearing Jarvis Cocker and Nick Cave for the first time. Channel 4 was the gateway drug to adolescence, and I don’t know what that would be for kids nowadays. TikTok, presumably.

So here we go. Ten programmes from a fantastic channel. Oh, and by the way, they’ve got so much good stuff to choose from, that I’ve specifically isolated home-grown hits. Stuff commissioned (as far as I understand it) by Channel 4 themselves. Perhaps later I’ll do one about acquisitions and foreign imports, because the importance of watching US comedies on a Friday night can not be overstated. But that’s why Friends isn’t on the list.

Spaced (1999-2001): I came to this a little late, after it had wrapped up, but it immediately became an all-timer. Not just the way it nailed both late-nineties life (all videogames and X-Files posters), not just its depiction of early adulthood, and not just its hilarious scripts, full of clever wordplay, pop culture references, and great gags. It was the style of it all. There was ambition here exploding every which way, with young creatives who wanted to seize it all. it was unlike anything I’d seen on British TV, and in a way it still is; it’s sort of unsurprising that so many of its architects have gone on to be legitimate Hollywood talents, although it’ll always be weird for me to see Tim From Spaced stood next to Tom Cruise.

Vic Reeves Big Night Out (1990-91): “What’s at the end of the stick, Vic?!” Talk about stuff you’ve never seen before, this was a revelation. The most surreal, hilarious, and just plain daft comedy show imaginable; strange games, odd masks, glorious Teesside accents. I was immediately hooked on this weirdo done up like a fifties lounge singer and his strange compatriots, and I followed Vic and Bob avidly from that moment on. they might have refined the act in The Smell of… but its glorious, ramshackle origins were something to behold.

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (2004): another one I didn’t see till later (quite a bit later, as it was introduced to me when I was at CITV) but blimey, what a good ‘un. Like Spaced, it’s astounding how well it was put together, the pitch-perfect spoof of cheesy eighties TV, of horror movies, of pulp horror; but also just the comedy, the silliness, the gags. In a way it was straighter than Spaced but also more arch, more surreal; moments like the bicycle chase are seared in my brain, lines like “I know writers who use subtext, and they’re all cowards” still generate a giggle. And what a cast!

Father Ted (1995-98): not a revolutionary new format like Spaced or Darkplace, but as a traditional old-school sitcom, Father Ted was nigh-on perfect. Four perfectly cast leads, and – in Ted and Dougal – one of the great self-important buffoon/absolute colossal idiot double-acts of all time. With an Irish background, and having spent a lot of time over there, the various gags about parochialism, Irish culture, and Catholicism really hit home. Above all, though, it’s funny; it’s a bit surreal, it’s got a slightly nasty streak, but basically it’s hilarious. And for that I do have to give credit to Graham Linehan; his script, with Arthur Matthews, is genius, and makes his subsequent descent into batshit bigotry all the more upsetting.

Brass Eye (1997-2001): I’ve always loved fake news; or, rather, programmes that purported to be real. Here we have it done expertly, in a way I’d never seen before. The cod-seriousness, the sensational headlines, the stories that were only just too silly… but mostly it was the pranks and the stunts, the roping in of hapless celebrities, the “made up drug” of it all. It was genius, true, and it was done so damn well; but as a teenager, I adored it because I got the joke. I understood what it was doing and why, and that made me feel smart at an age when you like to feel you’ve gotten there under your own steam.

Whose Line is it Anyway? (1988-99): nothing fancy here, just comedy. Out-and-out, laugh-out-loud comedy. Four comedians given a premise, and away they go, improvising outrageous and hilarious flights of fancy. I loved this so much; I immediately became a huge fan of the likes of Mike McShane, Josie Lawrence, and Tony Slattery. More than that, I wanted to be on the show. It’s probably too much to say watching it gave me the acting bug, but the thought of improvising like that, of being that spontaneously funny, stuck with me. They could really bring this one back. I wish they would.

Black Books (2000-04): another delightfully surreal, skewed view of reality, and another one that’s a joy to revisit as we see the burgeoning careers of film and TV superstars. Dylan Moran’s Bernard Black is a wonderfully wicked creation, a mix of apathy, misanthropy, and wine. The supporting cast of Tamsin Grieg and Bill Bailey offer suitably different shades of sunshine and shadow, and the whole thing just falls together wonderfully. It’s bloody funny is what I mean.

The Big Breakfast (1992-2002): yeah, it’s not all sitcoms round ‘ere. I wondered which I liked best: the breakfast show or the evening show? This or TFI Friday? In the end I plumped for this, a revolution in TV formatting, a handheld whirligig of a wakeup call. Very bright, very loud, very fast, this was the perfect antidote to the smartly-dressed-people-sitting-down format that dominated breakfast telly (and still does, really); a kind of half-grown-up version of Live and Kicking, and much closer in tone to radio breakfast shows. And it had Zig and Zag, for god’s sake. What more do you want in a morning?

Eurotrash (1993-2004): ahem. Yeah, it was a bundle of smut, but it was done so entertainingly: German nudists given thick, matter-of-fact Brummie accents; stories about poop and saunas and folklore, or all three at once; Antoine de Caunes and Jean-Paul Gaultier (Gaultier for goodness’ sake!) trading camp bon-mots. It was so good-natured in its celebration of weirdness and muckiness, an eye-opener in more ways than one. It’s a friendly, warm embrace of a show, deliriously camp and resoundingly sex-positive, but also charming and quaint.

The Last Resort with Jonathan Ross (1987-88): if I’m honest, the show I most associate with pre-mainstream Wossy is Mondo Rosso, the fabulous BBC2 late-night series that dug into the weird filmland esoterica that he so adores. But it was here, in Ross’ debut, that I first appreciated (at far too young an age! I watched this when it first went out!) his humour, smarts, and cheek. Honestly, thirty years ago, he really was something new, a British spin on an American-style late-night host. He interviewed interesting people, told great jokes, and really was a modernised and youth-centric old-school presenter; Wogan for the Young Ones generation. I followed his early Channel 4 career before he jumped ship for the Beeb, eventually becoming Mr. Light Entertainment. I still prefer him when he veers into the tall grass to talk about something odd and random that he really loves, rather than when he’s interviewing Adele or whatever.

There you go, Channel 4. You may notice the focus on comedy and light entertainment here; I think that’s because the dramas, whilst I enjoyed them, came and went for me, even the really, really good ones; whereas the comedy just got sort of wedged in my brain, often watched over and over. So sorry about that, especially when you think about the great Russel T. Davies dramas. But anyway: Channel 4 is just great as it is, so let’s not cock it up.

4 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#3

Weekend Top Ten #557

Top Ten Tarantino Movies

In 1993 I started reading Empire magazine. I’d probably read it a little bit before then; my mum would pick it up occasionally and I’d have flicked through it (sidebar: several years ago I bought issue 1 of Empire off eBay and thought it seemed familiar; I mentioned this to my mum, and she said yes, in all likelihood she’d bought it in 1989 but hadn’t held onto it. I dread to think how warped my psyche would be if I’d been regularly reading it since the age of seven…). Anyway, in 1993 they put out an issue with Jurassic Park on the cover, and that was it; I was hooked. I’ve had every issue since and have subscribed for nearly twenty years now.

One of the things that happened when I started reading a film magazine every month – one that was, at its core, aimed at adults – was that I was exposed to the wider world of the film industry. The magazine, naturally, took for granted that its audience was familiar with certain concepts and characters from the world of film. Given the relatively irreverent nature of Empire, there was always a sense of fun and playfulness as they threw in references to Burt Reynolds, Satyajit Ray, and Richard E. Grant. It made me want to seek out new films and new experiences, and of course this all took place in my early adolescence, when I was increasingly fascinated by all kinds of things out there in the wider world.

One of the very first things I remember was discussion about the banning of Reservoir Dogs, and how best to source a bootleg VHS of the film. This was, most likely, my introduction to the works of Quentin Tarantino, and let me tell you, nothing will make a young boy more interested in a film than telling him that he’s not just allowed to watch it, but that it would be illegal to do so.

The years went on and the story of this nerd who worked in a video store and wrote fascinating and hilarious and violent scripts full of movie references, and who was now a lauded and respected filmmaker, absolutely lit a fire in me. Tarantino, Kevin Smith, Danny Boyle, even Bryan Singer (cough); these were young guys, who looked like I wanted to look and made filthy, funny movies with a cocky swagger to them. I wanted to be them, especially the likes of Quentin and Kevin who wrote their own movies. I had to write about my hero for a school project and I picked Tarantino, despite only having seen – at most – one film at that point, and being far too young for it anyway. He was probably the only filmmaker who ever rivelled Spielberg as being my number-one favourite, my go-to influence.

The years went by and the gaps between his films became longer. A certain outlandish eccentricity drifted into his direction; the scripts became, arguably, a little less quotable, a bit flabbier. After the blistering intensity of the stylised but mostly-grounded opening trilogy, his films became, quite often, wacky exercises in referencing and imagery and flights of fancy. Sometimes this works better than others. Mostly, though, the violence and grit that I loved so much in the nineties seemed excessive, gratuitous, and juvenile by the 2010s. We – the audience – became more attuned to what it took to put that violence on screen, how the actors were treated scene to scene, and exactly what Tarantino’s relationship with Harvey Weinstein was. It soured the experience a little bit, which wouldn’t have been so bad, but there were a couple of films there that, frankly, disappointed. Far from the do-no-wrong wunderkind, he’s as fallible as the rest, and as prone to egotistical grandstanding as many a director before him.

I can’t talk about Tarantino too objectively because – like Spielberg, or like The Transformers, or really like Empire magazine in general – he’s far too tied into my own psyche and development. And he made three films there in a five-year period that are just outstanding achievements, absolute masterpieces, showing a growing maturity and sense of screenwriting craft that – I’d argue – has been scant in the two decades since. He’s still one of my favourite filmmakers, one I’ll always want to see, one who always excites me; but now his films, like, say, Wes Anderson’s – are their own indefatigable thing. I think you’re either into him or you’re not, and whilst I still think he lets his writing run on a bit, and whilst I think his statements about violence – and his use of violence, for that matter – are nowhere near as profound as he thinks they are, especially given his own complicated history of treating female cast members on set, I think it’s fair to say that Quentin Tarantino will be remembered very fondly.

And, look. His films may be goofier and weirder, but that style was always there really, we just fooled ourselves into thinking he’d expand his flavours instead of doubling down. And once you sign up to the fact that all of his films take place in a parallel universe – where Django freed the slaves and Jewish soldiers killed Hitler – it all makes a lot more sense, and we can enjoy them as what they always were: alt-universe sci-fi movies. Sort of a pity he never did make his version of Star Trek, really.

Pulp Fiction (1994): building on the promise of Dogs, this sophomore film is a multi-layered, non-linear affair, juggling multiple characters across disparate yet interconnected storylines over a number of days. The witty intricacies of Tarantino’s dialogue are best displayed, from French fast food to Vietnamese prisons; it’s his most-quotable film. There are tremendous performances, with regular contributor Sam Jackson making his first appearance. But it’s the strength of confidence, of filmmaking rigour, of a cinematic force coming to full fruition, that lingers long after the stunning soundtrack has faded from our ears.

Reservoir Dogs (1992): one hell of a debut. A blistering, bloody affair, with a great ensemble of mostly non-stars and a taught, tight screenplay based mostly around one location. Drew attention – outside of its violence, which to be fair isn’t as strong as was made out; it’s just got a generally nasty atmosphere – because of its great script, of course, but to marshal such a cast in such limited circumstances – to make five guys in one warehouse seem consistently cinematic – showcased his directorial prowess too.

Jackie Brown (1997): an incredibly rare adaptation from Sir Quent, he nevertheless takes Elmore Leonard’s Rum Punch and makes it entirely his own, a Blacksploitation homage that’s neither gratuitous or foolish, centred on a quartet of aging characters despite Tarantino’s youth at the time. A mature, sensible film that’s also tremendous fun, despite an air of threat and melancholy, it promised a variety of tone from Tarantino that arguably never materialised. Was the first of his films to receive, I would say, genuine criticism despite it being absolutely bloody great.

Django Unchained (2012): ever since Tarantino cameoed in Pulp and unleashed a tirade of N-words, he’s had a complex relationship with race, heavily criticised by Spike Lee and defended by Jackson. After the affection shown in Jackie, he delivered this, his exploration of the slave trade and its place in the history of America. And it’s fantastic, very close to the master of his first three films; a dark, tense tour-de-force of brutality as Django goes on a quest for righteous vengeance. Utilising the tropes of classic B-Westerns – and, of course, the vast Django franchise – Tarantino threads the needle between exploitative cheese and intelligent discourse. Can’t believe Will Smith turned it down; biggest mistake he’s ever made.

Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood (2019): Tarantino’s most recent film feels like a love letter to cinema, and especially the era that seems to resonate throughout his work. Weaving in both real-life cinematic icons of the age – from Polanski to Bruce Lee – as well as one of its most notorious violent crimes feels entirely on-brand for Tarantino. What surprises is both the warmth and optimism of the story; whilst the central characters may be loveable idiots for the most part, they’re not the thieves and killers of prior films. Not since Jackie Brown have we celebrated niceness like this. And as a sprawling nostalgic epic, it’s sublime; it beautifully marries its own fictional story within the wider framework of cinematic history. In fact, I’d argue it would be right up there with the First Three if it weren’t for its misjudged, nasty, over-the-top edgelord finale, with some of the most brutal and gratuitous violence in Tarantino’s oeuvre. Tone it down, Quent; you’re not fifteen and we’re not impressed.

Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004): after the First Three, it felt like a long time before we got a new Tarantino, and he returned with the epic revenge saga of Kill Bill, something of a gearshift from what came before. And whilst most people prefer the first Volume (see below), it’s part 2 that I enjoy more. Less outrageously exuberant, it still boasts a couple of excellent – and grittier – fight scenes, but it’s got a bit more of the Tarantino wit and wordplay about it, especially in the final scenes with Thurman’s Bride and Carradine’s Bill.

Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003): so, yeah, Kill Bill is a much cartoonier affair than most Tarantinos; in fact, I think it’s canonically supposed to be an in-universe film. But with that comes some of the most outlandish action that ol’ QT has directed; most specifically a vivacious and violent assault as the Bride gets medieval on a roomful of sword-wielding assailants. It’s shallow and weird and maybe is the beginning of Tarantino running away with himself, but it’s damn good fun.

Inglourious Basterds (2009): this is a film of two halves. One half is an incredibly dark, tense affair, with Christoph Waltz’s eloquent but barbaric Nazi matching wits with vengeful cinema operator Mélanie Laurent. It’s serious, intense, full of Tarantinoid dialogue, and shot through with a love of cinema. The other half – about the titular Basterds and their quest – is looser, wackier, not quite as funny as it thinks it is. These two disparate entities collide at the end (and also, tonally at least, merge in the excellent bar scene featuring Michael Fassbender), a finale which is raucous and ridiculous and scary and, well, quite good fun really.

Death Proof (2007): weird and off-kilter, not necessarily in a good way, this feels like Tarantino in search of structure. The plot – serial killer Stuntman Mike offs people in his car – is fine; but we spend too long with not-altogether-interesting characters before they’re brutally murdered, and also too long, frankly, getting to know our trio of heroes. It has its highs – some insane car chases and stuntwork – and great performances, but frankly it’s a lot better when cut down as part of Grindhouse.

The Hateful Eight (2015): some people really go to bat for this, but I think it exemplifies the worst traits of Tarantino. It’s way too long, full of wordy but not very elegant monologues. None of the characters are likeable, but also they’re not really interesting or fun to be around. He fails to make the single location dynamic or tense in the way he did with Dogs. And it’s really nasty, mean-spiritedly so, with a rather unpleasant misogynistic streak. There are smatterings of fun to be had, and it’s got a stellar cast, but for me it’s long, excessive, and a bit boring.

You’ll note I didn’t really consider films he wrote but didn’t direct, like True Romance or Natural Born Killers. This is for three reasons: even excluding portmanteau Four Rooms, he’s made ten films as director, so I could do a full list regardless; it’s debatable how “Tarantino” his writing credits are, especially Killers, which I think was heavily reworked by Oliver Stone; and, well, it’s been ages since I saw them and didn’t feel it fair to judge (my memory of Romance is that it would sit just after Jackie Brown, if that helps). So there you go.

Now, Tarantino has said that he intends to make ten films and then retire, but he’s counting the two parts of Bill as one entity. So that means he’s got one film left in him. It doesn’t look like it’s Star Trek anymore, if that was ever genuinely on the cards; he’s spoken on and off in the past about doing a proper sequel to Kill Bill, but we’ll see where that goes (apparently he wants to get Maya Hawke to play the Bride’s daughter, who’d have seen that one?). Or maybe he’ll do something else entirely; a romcom or a musical or a Marvel movie. Hey, given how much he’s banging on about Peppa Pig recently, maybe he’ll make a kids’ film. That would be a hell of a way to end a career that began with ear-slicing and Madonna’s sex life.

6 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#2

Weekend Top Ten #520

Top Ten CBeebies Programmes

Ah, the wonders of timing. A couple of weeks ago, everyone was banging on about it being the twentieth anniversary of CBeebies, and I wanted to get in on that action. But, wouldn’t you know it, Valentine’s Day got in the way of relevance, and so we’re doing a birthday celebration a bit belatedly. Never mind. By the time you get to twenty, you should be able to wait a little bit.

I’ve thought about CBeebies a lot, and some version of this list – or one like it – has been percolating for quite a while. This is because I’ve worked in kids’ TV almost my entire adult life, and especially since my kids have been born, I’ve spent a lot of time working actually for the BBC, oftentimes making promos for CBeebies. So both personally – having small children who watch the channel – and professionally – making stuff for the channel – CBeebies has been a big part of my life in the past decade.

What’s given me pause, though, is the fact that I actually know some people who make programmes for CBeebies. I don’t wanna upset anybody! Especially, y’know, anybody who might want to give me a job. So what I’m going to say here is this is not a list of absolute quality; I’m not saying these are the best. But they’re the ones I’ve fallen in love with the most. That might be because I think the writing or production is genuinely sublime; it might be because we came across them at the right time in the right circumstances. Maybe my kids loved them! When your kids love stuff, really love it, you tend to soften on it, even if you weren’t very keen on it to begin with. This is brought to you by “I have totally come around on Minecraft YouTubers”.

Oh, and yes, there are omissions. That’s because, as my kids have gotten older, they’ve started watching, well, more Minecraft YouTubers than CBeebies shows. I’ve got friends with younger kids who go on about Bluey, which I’m sure – from the sounds of it – I would just flat-out love. But I’ve never seen it! My kids are too old, I guess. Or too into Avatar: The Last Airbender or whatever. Or – let’s be honest – they’re just playing Minecraft, or watching people play Minecraft.

So here we go: my Top Ten CBeebies shows; shows that mean a lot, one way or another.

Hey Duggee: is it the music, the artwork, the voiceover? The tone of wry whimsy combined with heartfelt preschool sentiment? Is it the genuine humour and excellent writing? Is it the raft of in-jokes and references, from The Life Aquatic to Apocalypse Now? Is it my minor role in making The Stick Songgo viral? All of this and more; the best children’s TV programme ever made.

In the Night Garden: simultaneously a very sweet and gentle imagery and music that lulls children into another world and, ultimately, to sleep, and also the most bonkers, batshit, balls-tripping stuff you’re likely to see. Nonsense songs! Size-changing vehicles! Dancing flowers! Symmetrical stone-stacking!

CBeebies Bedtime Stories: Jackanoryfor the 21st Century, the simple pleasure of somebody reading a story aloud will always work. The soft, relaxing presentation adds to the “bedtime” aspect, and a huge selection of impressive celebrity readers makes it an event programme for all ages. I mean, come on; everyone from Dolly Parton to Captain America is here.

Topsy and Tim: creating a kind of soap opera for nippers is a phenomenal idea, introducing them to ongoing narratives and stories about familial dynamics. There are all kinds of cool topics explored, from illness to bereavement, with a keen eye on its audience. The cute family and great performances help too. A common fixture round ours.

Show Me Show Me: I’m starting to think nobody is better at introducing the very young to the world of television that Chris Jarvis and Pui Fan Lee. Gentle, engaging, fun, and a perfect start to the day when your kids get you up too early.

Swashbuckle: the perfect kind of gameshow for young kids; really energetic silliness. But what lifts it up is the bevvy of terrific performances, from Gemma Hunt to the trio of pirates, telling incredibly silly and very funny stories amidst the slapstick, chaotic gameplay. Plus I got to go on set, so it gets extra points.

Our Family: there were a trio of programmes, all made – if I remember correctly – by the same North East production company, following the lives of the very young as they experience things anew. Our Family was one, but there was also a cooking programme and one dealing with “My First…” These were great windows into individual lives and shared experiences, and really sweet preschool documentaries.

Waffle the Wonder Dog: taking the Topsy and Tim preschool soap format but making it way sillier, we now have essentially a comedy-drama about a talking dog and his beleaguered family. Hijinks ensue, lessons are learned, and at the centre of it is a flat-out adorable dog.

My Petsaurus: here we have, perhaps, a lesser-known show, but one which was just huge in our house, albeit briefly. A short selection of shorts, it features a girl and her cute pet dinosaur. That’s it; a simple premise, really well executed. I’m a sucker for an interplay of animation and live-action, and this is a great example, with a really good young performance at its centre. Because my kids were into it a bit more, it’s just eased out the broadly similar Woolly and Tig, which is also brilliant.

Go Jetters: there’s a lot of chatter about Octonauts, which I’m not going to diss, but for my money you can’t beat Go Jetters. A preschool Thunderbirds with a globetrotting bent, where it succeeds for me is in the absolute disco swagger of all-knowing boss Ubercorn, and especially in the moustachioed grump Grandmaster Glitch. Two incredible performances from Tommie Earl Jenkins and Marc Silk.

See, I already feel really bad for having to miss out things like Balamory, Dinopaws, and the educational one-two punch of Alphablocks and Numberblocks. Basically, CBeebies is great.

I've made a very rare edit to this list (I hardly ever edit them after they're posted apart from to correct spelling and grammar mistakes!) because, like a massive idiot, I confused the titles Let's Play and Show Me Show Me - so in the very unlikely event that you were confused by me referring to Chris and Pui instead of Rebecca and Sid, that's why. Sorry to all involved! In fact, Let's Play itself was a very close-run thing, a fantastic show that my youngest especially loved.

13 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Weekend Top Ten #558

Top Ten “Weird Al” Yankovic Songs

In retrospect, I should have done this last week and the Tarantino list this week. But really, what is more Al than just randomly getting something very, very slightly off? Because there’s a fillum out and I want to celebrate. Weird: The Al Yankovic Story stars Harry Potter as “Weird Al” Yankovic in a hard-bitten biopic of drugs and excess that is only available on a streaming service you’ve never heard of that isn’t even accessible in the UK, and is both the true story of Yankovic’s rise to success and also completely made up. And as someone who’s been a huge Al fan for over twenty years, this is incredibly exciting, hilarious, and rather frustrating in equal measure. Anyway: to celebrate, here’s a list.

Yankovic is an incredibly gifted musician and performer, something that I think is often hidden by the fact that he’s most famous as a parodist. But it’s one thing to just change the words of a song to make a joke; it’s another to spend forty years adapting multiple genres and styles of music, as well as expertly recreating famous videos, as well as making parodic references to everything from Star Wars to Santa Claus. The breadth of his talent and musicality, to say nothing of how funny and effective he is as an overall writer and performer, is frankly astonishing; in his career he’s turned is hand to everything, from gangsta rap to piano ballads and all sorts in between, to say nothing of his legendary polka medleys of popular songs.

All this brings us to the list itself, which at the end of the day is just my favourite of his songs. And I tell ya, it was hard! This was one of the hardest ones I’ve done, I think! Like with all kinds of music, really, you veer towards different songs at different times, so how does one compare American Pie to Pretty Fly for a White Guy, the works of Billy Joel to the works of Coolio? So we just come to my basic criteria, which is: how much do I enjoy the song? How funny is it? And, if it is a parody, how well is it doing with the parodying? Because one of the things I love about Al is that, as well as homaging different styles of music or plots of films, he often peppers his songs with lyrics that reference so much stuff. It’s a delight unpacking them from a comedic standpoint. Sometimes it’s not even a reference, sometimes it’s just hilarious wordplay. So that’s all factored into my complex algorithm. And this is the result!

The Saga Begins (1999): whilst I was broadly familiar with his work, this is song that really made me a fan. I remember it being a news story on the Empire website, and trying to watch it on my flaky dial-up at the time – probably the first music video I ever watched online. And I still think it’s just hilarious. I think the funniest thing is that, unlike some other songs, it’s not really parodying Star Wars; it’s actually a fairly straight retelling of the events of The Phantom Menace, just sung to the tune of American Pie. But the lyrics are golden; “My, my, this here Anakin guy/Maybe Vader someday later now he’s just a small fry”. It’s so perfect that it’s not only damn funny, not only a beautiful love letter to Star Wars, but also it just works as a song. I’ve sung it so much I know all the words and it was actually a bedtime lullaby I sang to my kids. And however much I love some of his other songs, I can’t say that about The Night Santa Went Crazy.

Dare to Be Stupid (1985): is it possible that I love this one so much because it was the first Al song I heard? That it is, in fact, featured on the soundtrack to The Transformers: The Movie? Almost certainly yes, but I don’t care. I am not, in truth, very familiar with Devo, so the intricacies of its parody are mostly lost on me; I get that he’s doing a bit on their songs and the video is referencing them too, but for me it’s just a really catchy song full of terrific, hilarious lyrical gags and references. And it’s played when Hot Rod and Wreck-Gar are dancing on the planet of Junk.

Don’t Download This Song (2006): rather than lampooning a specific song, this is a satire on a genre, perfectly parodying the pretensions of those Band Aid-style charity singles by earnest celebrities. As well as skewering the style so succinctly, it also has a tremendous target for the early noughties – the downloading of “free” music from file-sharing sites. Whilst incredibly of its time, it’s full of on-point references, including Lars Ulrich’s famed disdain of downloaded music, as well as mocking celebrity excess. This is all incredibly hilarious for me as, after really getting into Al in 1999, it was finding more of his music via Napster when I was at university that really made me a huge fan of his back catalogue. And don’t worry – I’ve also bought it on CD, too.

Jurassic Park (1993): this song is probably unique in the annals of all parody songs by virtue of it being more sensible and making more sense than the song it’s a parody of. The genius realisation that “Jurassic Park” scans perfectly with “MacArthur Park” is just the start, as it runs through the events of the film in hilarious manner (“I admit it’s kinda eerie/But this proves my chaos theory”). Apparently the stop-motion video was approved by Spielberg himself! Nobody leaves a cake out in the rain, however.

White and Nerdy (2006): talk about your references, this is the motherlode; and, quite frankly, it speaks to me. A veritable spreadsheet full of nerdy ephemera, the hilarity obviously coming from the juxtaposition of edgy rap with, well, Al Yankovic, almost every geeky IP or pastime is namechecked: Star Trek, Wikipedia, D&D, bubble wrap… the exquisiteness of the lyrics and speed at which Al cycles through them means it requires multiple listens to catch all the gags. And it has perhaps my favourite of all his lyrics: “The only question I/Ever thought was hard/Was do I like Kirk/Or do I like Picard”.

Ode to a Superhero (2003): ah, now we’re back to the soft gentle ballads and another recounting of the events of a summer blockbuster. Somehow singing a song about Spider-Man to the tune of Piano Man is perfect; after all, both Peter Parker and Billy Joel are New York legends (one’s from Queens, the other’s from the Bronx). Like The Saga Begins, it’s funny not just because, well, singing about Spider-Man is funny, but also the specificity of the references; like Mary Jane preferring guys “who can kiss upside down in the rain” or Norman Osborn wearing a “dumb” mask but being “scarier without it on”.

It’s All About the Pentiums (1999): another fabulously fast-paced rap about something exquisitely geeky; except this time it’s honing in on millennium-era computing technology. It’s another example of playing spot-the-reference but one thing that I find increasingly delightful in this case is that it’s so fabulously outdated; references to Y2K, newsgroups, “a hundred gigabytes of RAM”, and even the very fact that it’s got “Pentium” in the name. I can’t help but feel that this one’s just gonna get funnier as it gets older.

Pretty Fly for a Rabbi (1999): again we see the comedy emerge from the collision between a fast-paced, hard-edged style of music (in this case, millennial American punk) and frankly ridiculous lyrics. It’s not just the silliness of something as benign as a rabbi being the focus of an edgy rock song; it’s also the incorporation of Yiddish and stereotypically Jewish turns of phrase into the lyrics. Partly responsible for my assumption that Yankovic himself was Jewish!

Amish Paradise (1996): an infamous Weird Al song in that, whereas usually the original songwriters are chuffed to have him parody them, this one actually pissed off Coolio (RIP). But it’s part of the genre of tough songs about silly shit, the gangsta rap ballad of inner-city life and crime transmogrified into the badassery of the Amish, raising barns and milking cows. Perhaps it’s a bit mean to the Amish, in retrospect; but “you know I’m a million times as humble as thou art” is still a cracking lyric.

Bedrock Anthem (1993): I don’t think I’ve really expressed enough just how on point his parodies are; how well he raps, how closely he mirrors the style of the homaged artists, even in videos. But this is exquisite; somehow Al even looks like a Red Hot Chilli Pepper. And it’s just bonkers; I mean, how on earth do you get The Flintstones from Under the Bridge? I’m guessing – and this is just a wild guess based on nowt – that it was doing the “Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-do now” to the chorus that spawned the rest of the song, but who really knows? And once again we have lyrics that give me such joy, especially the way he throws in – out of nowhere – references to Bedrock life, such as “got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner”. Joy!

Now whilst I am gutted I didn’t find room for Bob, Yoda, or Santa, I’m also a bit gutted that I never got round to one of his polkas. These are really impressive works, how he manages to translate such a wide variety of songs into a polka style, and then turn it into a big medley, bouncing from track to track and even from genre to genre within the same song. Seriously, the man’s a musical genius. Maybe that’s why only Daniel Radcliffe could play him; he’s used to playing wizards.

32 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

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[agentnico]

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) Review

Am I the one who thought of that Britain’s Got Talent contestant Stavros Flatley when Russell Crowe popped up in this film? With the accent and the general demeanour? No? Just me? Fair enough.

Plot: Thor's retirement is interrupted by a galactic killer known as Gorr the God Butcher, who seeks the extinction of the gods. To combat the threat, Thor enlists the help of King Valkyrie, Korg and ex-girlfriend Jane Foster, who, to Thor's surprise, inexplicably wields his magical hammer, Mjolnir, as the Mighty Thor. Together, they embark upon a harrowing cosmic adventure to uncover the mystery of the God Butcher's vengeance and stop him before it's too late.

Thor: Ragnarök is still to this day my favourite Marvel Cinematic Universe film. It perfectly reinvented the titular character by seamlessly blending Taika Waititi’s energetic comedic timing with the mythology already built by the franchise prior, and truly that movie felt as if it came out straight from a comic book. The many colours and the inclusion Mark Mothersbaugh’s synthetic heavy 80′s techno pimped music score really made this entry a stand-out. So naturally I was looking forward to Thor’s fourth outing, especially since the entire Ragnarök creative team were coming back. Of course there was also concern, as since Avengers: Endgame the MCU has seen a dip in quality, as the lack of narrative direction has made most of the newer films very mediocre at best. But hey, in Taika we believe, so scurried into the cinema I did on opening day, ready for some Thortastic madness! By the way, did anyone know that Ben & Jerry’s now do ice cream shakes at the cinema? B&J SHAKES!? I mean c’mon, I’m trying to budget here and then Ben & Jerry’s come and pull this stunt. They taste rad though, not going to lie. Anyway, with a mighty fine shake in my hand, I sat in the cinema, ready for Thor’s next adventure. What could possibly go wrong?

I’m so glad I had that Ben & Jerry’s shake, at least I got some good out of this cinema outing. It is to my huge disappointment to reveal that Thor: Love and Thunder may just be Taika Waititi’s first real flop. The movie is a rushed mess and a half. It feels similar to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 where Marvel gave James Gunn full creative freedom after he proved himself with the first Guardians film, now Taika to has been given full creative reign and the result is waaaaayyy too many cringey jokes, a lot of which don’t hit, and a very weak narrative plot, especially as the movie rushes through all the events, instead focusing on trying to fit in as may gags and humanly possible. 

First and foremost, they dumbed down the character of Thor to the point that we behold a bumbling idiot doing stupid things for the sake of jokes. In Ragnarök, yes Chris Hemsworth lent more into the comedic side of the character, with the innocent child-like outlook on certain things, however he was still cool. He still felt like a Norse god who can kick butt and lead an army. In Love and Thunder however, he is just silly to the point that you don’t see him as the hero anymore. What’s worse is that the movie reminds you of the good times, as there are a couple of dramatic scenes between Thor and Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster, where Hemsworth actually shows signs of tender serious emotions, but then within minutes that is lost again in favour of some unfunny gag. And speaking of Portman, her return is actually one of the few highlights. Previously in the franchise Jane Foster didn’t have much purpose other than hey, Thor is a beautiful man, so he needs a beautiful woman to rub his face against. There was no chemistry or care for their relationship. However in Love & Thunder props given where props are due, Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster is utilized really well. Her relationship with Thor felt much more believable, and a certain flashback featuring their love backstory to the accompaniment of ABBA was one of the few successful sparks of humour in the film, and her story in the movie actually tackles some deeper subjects that I do wish were given more time to explore and delve into. 

In regards to other characters, there are a few, but again, due to the rushed plot where the movie seems to be racing against time itself, a lot of characters are heavily under-used. Valkyrie and Korg basically serve no purpose, other than the latter over-staying his welcome by cracking eye-rolling jokes. The Guardians of the Galaxy that are heavily featured in the marketing are in the movie for 5 minutes at best, if that. There are also a bunch of cameos throughout, some of which work, others not so much. I do want to talk about Christian Bale though, who plays the villain Gorr. As expected, Bale brings a powerhouse performance filled with gravitas and depth, however one that also has a bit of whimsy to it, and actually he was one of the best parts of the movie. Again though, not used enough. You have an A-list actor like Christian Bale and give him such a short role, that’s naturally disappointing. But in the moments he’s in he does magic. Metaphorically speaking but also physically, as he has this magical death sword which he spews out shadow monsters from. You know, typical evil bad guy shenanigans. 

Thor: Love and Thunder comes off as a big fat joke. It’s a self parody of itself essentially, opting to act as a 2 hour long stand-up show, only that the comedian didn’t bring any decent material to the stage. Don’t get me wrong, it has a good few entertaining moments, and visually its good to look at, especially if you want to see Thor’s butt cheeks, but all in all it’s an underwhelming experience. Especially if you’re someone like me who is a big fan of Thor, with not just Ragnarök, but the previous films too. I’m sad to say, no matter how much Guns N’ Roses hits Taika sticks in this film, it doesn’t save it from being nothing more that mediocre and forgettable. Ah heck, at least I had that Ben & Jerry’s ice cream shake. That’s the only thing that’s keeping me going right now.

Overall score: 4/10

[the-shared-brain-in-retrograde]

Captain Marvel

A joint review:

I too wake up and want to fight all men. The over arching theme of this whole film is fuck all men, and we can both really get on board with that. Throughout our individual notes made whilst watching the film from opposite ends of the country we have both noted down several fuck men moments, and would like to list some of them for you now:

Don't tell me to control my emotions Jude Law. We do not know the name of Jude Law’s character in this film, and quite frankly we don’t care to. He is just Jude Law, and it’s enough to know he turns out to be a real dick. When he tried to take credit for her abilities and strength and she blasted him in the face, I (Cass) felt it in my soul. Becks clearly has no soul...[Jude Law's character will here by in be referred to as Jude Law cos I'll be fucked if I even know what his character was called. Joe something maybe?] (I looked it up it’s Yon-Rogg which I’d be happy to say on oath I’ve never heard in my life)

"There's a reason they call it a cockpit." Fuck off dickhead. We enjoyed the pool ball smashing that came straight afterwards

"How about a smile, huh?" Fucking men, I'll smile when hell freezes over you prick. Also hands up in the comments everyone who has received this remark on a night out?

"You call me 'young lady' again, I'll shove my foot up somewhere it's not supposed to be." Maria Rambeau, a million chef's kisses for you.

"I have nothing to prove to you." Fuck yeah Carol. Nothing like cutting off a man's self righteous speech by a blast to the chest, a shame there wasn't a kick in the balls too.

Blockbuster Video, a treasured memory.

@becksxoxo: Our village didn't have a blockbuster, but an independent, and my three favourites were Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw, Fern Gully and the Ewoks cartoon series. Only once did we move to the big lights of York did we have a Blockbuster but I remember the abject thrill of roaming the racks of films.

@cassandrafey: I think choosing Blockbuster was so smart cos it really roots the film in time really quickly without having to say anything further. Until that point you might have been in the present, but the nostalgia kick backwards makes my brain feel a bit like a time traveller. I really miss these places. I don’t actually remember renting one film over and over (if I did it was possibly Lion King 2, a fine sequel) but I do remember the joy of going to the video shop and browsing around and picking something out for weekend watching. What was the smell of a video shop? It was almost a bit like the new car smell but not quite, nicer, with a hint of popcorn but not really cinema either. Whatever that smell was I think it’s possibly lost to time.

Nick Fury with both eyes is disconcerting but a treat to behold. The de-aging becomes less off putting the more you look at it, but it's still weird. The man does always get a good car chase in the MCU, is this written into his contract? Also the full blown sass for the start. However, he does both of these things very well so we will let them continue.

The train scene: what a moment.

Firstly, why does no one react or notice him shifting from the surfer dude to the old lady? Is this because no one makes eye contact on city trains or does this happen a lot in Los Angeles?

Secondly, why are you stopping a woman from accosting an old lady when said old lady clearly knows kung fu? Let that fight happen my guys.

Thirdly, love to see a train carriage chase. The stakes are high, and we appreciate it.

Another mountain side lair. Seriously MCU can you divulge the builders plans for these, I don't think we should have to ask again.

FRIENDSHIP - its good.

On a serious note, it is really good to see it. Its great to see female friendship between two besties on screen, not talking about a man. SO GOOD. We also loved seeing blossoming new lifelong friendships, Carol and Fury, Fury and Talos, Fury and Goose [mainly just Nicholas Joseph Fury making new friends...]

A direct quote from @cassandrafey on friendship, "its both unbearably sad and nice at the same time *wails*"

(Cass here to specify that that quote was in relation to considering your best friend lost/possibly dead, and then years later they return but they don’t remember who they were properly because half their memories have been erased. So it’s happy that you’ve got your friend back but it’s sad because you missed so much time and they’re not quite the same nooooo I’m in my feelings!)

Becks... 👀

@becksxoxo loves Goose, so much. @cassandrafey has questions. Do all Flerken look like cats? Everyone either knew what a cat was, or what a flerken was, but not both. Do Flerken always look like cats, but with tentacles, or can they be any animal but with tentacles? In the voice of the man who wants pictures of Spiderman ‘Get me answers goddamnit!’

The music in this film is fire.

Our favourites include:

Ah the 90s, what a time to be alive. Our favourite throwbacks highlighted in the film were tv tapping of the head, gotta get that signal; internet cafes, imagine having to read fanfiction in the open like that, imagine having to write it!; the everlasting loading screen, we could feel the the years drifting from our lives just watching that blue bar. @becksxoxo would really have enjoyed a little Jay and Silent Bob cameo, although Mallrats was a nice touch (aw Stan Lee).

As we mention Stan Lee I (Cass) would like to say here that I forgot that they changed the Marvel logo to honour him for this film, and that also was a little sad yet nice touch at the start. The Stan cameos will be missed.

The shock of the tesseract. Why do we always forget that’s the energy core? It seems like it should be more obvious. The sight of that glowy blue space cube does seem to get us pleasantly riled when it pops up though.

Carol Danvers, specifically. Because she is just so great:

@cassandrafey: There is a great deal to love about Carol. She’s really strong (mentally as well as physically) and a good friend, and she has a sense of humour, great hair and a sassy eyebrow game, she tries her hardest at everything, she looks for the best in people and gives second chances, and she pulls off the difficult double act of seeming really normal but also being very powerful. Maybe being normal is what makes her powerful. The relief I felt when she turned up in the end credits and you knew that she would be around for Endgame my God I thought, things will be okay now that Carol is there.

Otherwise I love that montage of her getting told no or getting knocked down, and each time she picks herself back up with ferocious determination and quietly tries again. That fucking sang to me. It shows she’s not perfect because you watch her fail, but it’s how she deals with that failure that makes me love her character even more. They thought they would break her by showing her her failures, but what they actually did was prove her resilience and ability to overcome obstacles, and she does those things for no one else but herself, she’s only proving to herself that she can do it so of course she has nothing to prove to some jumped up man ordering her about. She’s emotional and she gets told that’s not a trait that makes you strong, that she should suppress it, but what she proves is that trusting your instincts and using your emotions actually makes you stronger and better. Great to see a strong and yet realistic female character getting to lead a great movie.

That shot where they are walking out of the hanger with the aviators on:

Maria: ‘Ready to show these boys how we do it?’

Carol: ‘Higher, further, faster baby.’

Perfection. Top Gun who?

@becksxoxo would like to add, whilst pulling images and quotes together for this I had reason to search Captain Marvel on the internet, and fuck me. The backlash both the character and the film received from certain demographics of Marvel 'fans' made me so unbelievably angry. I didn't do tumblr or too much marvel fandom stuff when it came out so I wasn't fully aware of the backlash when it came out, but seeing it now makes me seethe. I don't want to linger on it, or give it any further screen time, but it really wasn't a shining example of men not being dickheads.

Glowing Carol with the good hair.

Things where we differ:

In direct contrast to The First Avenger I don’t think we differ much in opinion on this film! But here’s where we do:

Agent Phil Coulson:

@cassandrafey I am totally apathetic towards Coulson. I don’t dislike the man. It’s fine when he shows up. But otherwise I just don’t care at all. He could literally be anyone for me. In a way that’s probably a good secret agent, totally bland, couldn’t describe his face if I witnessed him do a crime. Sometimes they try to tell you bits about his character, like he does sometimes go against orders to help people, he has those baseball cards and he’s sort of nerdy about them, he seems to chat to Pepper about his love life, but also none of those things ever make me think ‘oh it’s good to know how Coulson is getting on’. This may sound harsher than intended, but for me he’s like this weirdly recurring footnote in the mcu - kind of nice from a continuity aspect but you know what it is and it’s fundamentally unimportant so you gloss over it.

(Also he shot Loki that one time, and okay Loki had fatally wounded him but I think we know by now that I can forgive Loki’s mercurial and stabby nature on account of the fact that I adore him, but hurt him back and I will remember that and hold it against you for an indefinite length of time and then denounce you as being a bland and boring side character in a small time tumblr post).

@becksxoxo I think baby Phil Coulson is adorable. I enjoyed that he got left at the Blockbuster, and that he didn't sell them out to S.H.I.E.L.D - at this point in sharing my feelings the bar is clearly set very low for the male characters...

[capxtony]

the perils of shipping...

So, basically, something that I’d never thought would happen - happened.

I fell head first into stucky fanfiction - and the stucky fandom in general.

I’ve steadily been making my way through the many, many fics of steve/bucky that I have found to love on AO3 (slightly more of them than stony).

It was an accident, really. I wanted to find some fics of Steve & Bucky platonically, as best friends, specifically of hurt/comfort (my favourite trope), because I love Bucky, he’s always been one of my favourite characters. I found fics and tropes similar to how I ship/read/write stony, I specificially like Bucky’s boatload of issues (like Tony). I have read platonic stucky fics before and wanted to find more, but there aren’t many that are platonic, so i hesitantly went into the ship fics to get that good post-TWS hurt/comfort I was looking for, and lo and behold, there’s some amazing stuff out there, and now I’ve gone into reading many different types of stucky fanworks/art, etc.

So, I’ve had a temporary hiatus on reading/writing stony fics, and I have been a bit less active on this blog, though I still do reblog things like stony fanart and stuff occasionally. I won’t change this blog, it will still just be stony or avengers content. Discussions are welcome! DO you ship stucky and stony? What have your experiences been like? Did you go from one ship to the other or just embrace life as a multishipper? Did you try another ship and it didn’t work out?More of my own opinion on this and news of my fics below.

In general, I guess I just love the kind of trope of Steve being protective/comforting and dealing with his own baggage, or just being darn sexy, particularly paired with some of my favourite MCU characters - my fave characters are actually tony, bucky, nat in some sort of order, then steve (who i still am not completely happy of his characterisation in civil war - more specifically the end fight, and his decision in avengers endgame, yknow being a little out of character, yada yada), so yea. 

I don’t really ship ‘stuckony’ (steve/bucky/tony) as I’m not a fan of polyamorous ships in general, though I have nothing against it - as a change from when i first came into ‘fandoms’ in general years ago, I wish no ill will on any ship, or shippers, I believe any fandom or ship hate is just hate and I don’t condone hate on fictional things that bring people happiness (especially as I’ve seen that in general, a lot of people find comfort and solidarity in fandoms or ships when facing difficulties in real life). I don’t see much point in comparing ships, I guess - they’re just different, people ship different things depending on what they like, we’re all slightly different in our preferences, and that’s fine, that’s normal.

I generally go through phases of liking/reading a particular fandom/ship for a while, well more of an obsession than phase (what can i say), and then moving onto another, and coming back to it, etc. I am not choosing one ship over another. There is one stony fic that I haven’t updated in a while that I was passionate about (Calligo) and I do want to finish that at some point, I’ll probably aim to finish it with one or two more chapters. 

I don’t think I’ll create a stucky blog, as i just reblog stucky stuff on my main multi-fandom blog, arielgryffinpuff. And, as usual when getting into a new fandom or ship, I already have loads of ideas for steve/bucky fics and have started writing several of them, though in the past 2 years (2 years! Jesus) I seemed to have lost so much motivation to write fanfics, preferring to read them obsessively instead, or finding new shows to watch, as my motivation in life has dropped in general, but I think I’m getting a bit better mental health wise now. 

So, I plan to begin writing a bit more, so if you’re interested in stucky, or my stony fic, expect some updates and new works on that posted on AO3 some??time??, and I’ll link them on my tumblr’s as well. I could even accept asks for stucky fics. However, I don’t plan on writing any new stony fics any time soon, though I had some ideas laid out a while ago, so maybe I’ll get back to them one day. 

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2019

It was of the general consensus that 2019 was a truly amazing year for cinema, with audiences treated to a wide and impressive array of films. As usual, the year produced a number of sure bets from both well known directors and arthouse favourites, but it also treated cinemagoers to some truly unexpected treats from the cinematic mainstream.

Having watched just over 100 films (released in Australia), those that made this year’s ‘best list’ have been selected on the basis of the lasting impression they have left on this viewer after the lights have come up and the curtain’s been drawn.

So, what succeeded and what failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. READY OR NOT

49. GLASS

48. HAL (DOCUMENTARY)

47. STUDIO 54 (DOCUMENTARY)

46. HOTEL MUMBAI

45. THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT

44. CRAWL

43. MISSING LINK

42. SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK

41. THE CLOVEHITCH KILLER

40. BURNING

39. AVENGEMENT

38. YESTERDAY

37. THE SISTERS BROTHERS

36. BRIGHTBURN

35. FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY

34. HAIL, SATAN (DOCUMENTARY)

33. VELVET BUZZSAW

32. COLD PURSUIT

31. STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

30. SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME

29. BEN IS BACK

28. THUNDER ROAD

27. THE REPORT

26. TOY STORY 4

25. MID 90′S

24. LAST BREATH (DOCUMENTARY)

23. VOX LUX

22. GLORIA BELL

21. THE FAREWELL

20. SHAZAM

19. FREE SOLO (DOCUMENTARY)

18. KNIVES OUT

17. BOOKSMART

16. DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE

15. US

14. ROCKETMAN

13. AD ASTRA

12. JOJO RABBIT

11. MIDSOMMAR

10. APOLLO 11 (DOCUMENTARY)

Though this outstanding assemblage of archival footage about the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing featured no narration, interviews or analysis, director Todd Douglas Miller successfully managed to create an amazingly beautiful and surreal experience about one of humanities greatest achievements. Featuring never-before-seen footage of both the launch and the mission itself, ‘Apollo 11′ was as thrilling as any sci-fi and eye-wateringly beautiful to behold. 

9. EIGHTH GRADE

It was an impressive year for many ‘coming-of-age’ films (‘Booksmart,’ ‘Good Boys,’ ‘Mid 90′s’) but it was writer-director Bo Burnham’s poignant and sensitive exploration of the challenges of early adolescence in the age of social media that really resonated. Focusing on the socially awkward Kayla - played with exquisite, jittery control by teen actor Elsie Fisher - ‘Eighth Grade’ was a thoughtful observation on the universal truths of growing up in the modern age.

8. FORD V FERRARI

With director James Mangold at the wheel, ‘Ford V Ferrari’ was a highly enjoyable sports car racing movie that left audiences with a lasting and highly satisfying impression all the way to the finish line. Based on the rivalry between the car manufacturers Ford and Ferrari in their pursuit to win the 24 hour Le Mans sports car race in 1966, ‘Ford V Ferrari’ featured heart-pounding racing sequences and impeccable performances from Matt Damon & Christian Bale.

7. THE NIGHTINGALE

Though not a horror film in the strictest definition of the term, you were less likely to find a more horrific cinematic experience this year than Australian director/writer Jennifer Kent’s 'The Nightingale.’ Kent's follow up to her critically acclaimed debut ‘The Babadook' was an extremely unsettling and bleak revenge tale, that relentlessly beat the audience with its unflinching violence and depictions of cruel racism. 

6. AVENGERS: ENDGAME

"Part of the journey is the end...” A cathartic and satisfying experience for all MCU fans worldwide, 'Avengers: Endgame' was everything we needed and more than we deserved. Full of callbacks and emotional pay-offs 10+ years in the making, ‘Avengers: Endgame' was a thrilling conclusion and a deeply emotional exploration of loss and love, duty and honour, friendship and family. Just remember to lean into the tears.

5. JOKER

Whether you ended up either loving or hating ‘Joker,’ there was no denying that the landscape of cinematic comic book adaptations had been changed forever. Drawing inspiration from Martin Scorsese’s ‘Taxi Driver’ and ‘The King of Comedy’ and featuring Joaquin Phoenix’s magnificently dedicated and exhaustive performance, ‘Joker’ was a truly outstanding cinematic achievement that would be discussed and debated for many years to come.

4. THE IRISHMAN

A magisterial entry in his long and masterful career, Martin Scorsese’s violent yet poignant crime epic featured flawless performances from a stellar ensemble cast (De Niro, Pacino, Pesci, Keitel). With a script that was nothing short of a master work, coupled with an intricate production design and stylish cinematography, ‘The Irishman’ felt like an apt end point for Scorsese’s fascination in narratives detailing the ultimate price that comes from a life of sin.

3. PARASITE

Renown South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho already had an impeccable track record (’The Host,’ ‘Snowpiercer,’ ‘Okja’) but really stepped up his game with this brilliant and powerfully revealing social satire. An intricate look at modern-day social hierarchies, ‘Parasite’ kept flipping audience expectations with its radical shifts in tone - from clever comedy to violent, dark tragedy - whilst delivering some brilliant thematic elements. 

2. MARRIAGE STORY 

Writer-director Noah Baumbach’s drama about the pain of the divorce process was a phenomenally crafted piece of cinema. A tragic tale amplified by both Baumbach’s screenwriting genius and tour-de-force performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, ‘Marriage Story’ highlighted the struggles of an everyday situation and the real efforts to maintain it, leaving audiences with heavy hearts and thoughts.

1. ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD

Set against the backdrop of Hollywood’s changing of the guard and the looming large presence of the Manson Family, ‘Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’ was a melancholy, slow burning, comedic love letter to a filmmaking era long gone, and easily one of Quentin Tarantino’s best films.

As a wonderfully painted portrait of 1969 Hollywood, Tarantino delivered something truly special - a cinematic opus featuring so many film references, both obscure and in your face, that it was an absolute delight for cinephiles everywhere to luxuriate in the sights and sounds of this historical fantasy. 

Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt delivered the most emotionally vulnerable performances of their careers as soon-to-be has-beens, whilst the film’s vibrant production and costume design and playful soundtrack perfectly captured a snapshot of a special place and time in film history.

If Tarantino is still adamant to call it quits on his directing career after his next movie, ‘Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’ was a timely reminder that we should all definitely try to enjoy the filmmaker whilst we still can.

...AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE

19. THE MULE 

18. STUBER

17. AT ETERNITY’S GATE

16. IT: CHAPTER 2

15. THE BANANA SPLITS MOVIE

14. HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U

13. ALADDIN

12. ANGEL HAS FALLEN

11. TERMINATOR: DARK FATE

10. CAPTIVE STATE

Director Rupert Wyatt, the brains behind the effective ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ reboot, easily delivered one of the worst sci-fi films of the year. Despite a premise filled with potential and talent both in front of and behind the screen, ‘Captive State’ was a major disappointment. The screenplay (co-written by Wyatt) was an epic mess of confusion that lacked both a compelling narrative and characters to hold it together, resulting in a huge misstep for all involved.

9. RAMBO: LAST BLOOD

It’s ironic a film franchise that started out telling the sad story of a man trying to show an uncaring world he was still a human being should have its final chapter demonstrate the exact opposite. This much touted ‘final entry’ in the Rambo saga was a deeply unpleasant and unnecessary exercise that featured little wit, inventiveness or originality. The character of John Rambo deserved a better swan song than ‘Rambo: Last Blood,’ and so did we.

8. GEMINI MAN

Directed by Ang Lee and starring Will Smith as a government assassin facing off against a clone of his younger self, ‘Gemini Man’ was an empty and tiresome thriller dressed up in a lot of fancy tech, and Smith’s biggest box office flop since ‘Wild, Wild West.’ Despite costing $138 million to produce, all the Hollywood SFX wizardry in the world couldn’t excuse a lifeless picture, with the final result nothing more than a bland action clone.

7. THE LION KING

Soulless was how best to describe Disney's shot-for-shot live action version of the 1994 animated classic. The core failure of this latest incarnation of 'The Lion King' was the studio’s inexplicable choice to go fully photorealistic with the animation. The animal characters may have all been zoologically accurate, but there was absolutely zero expression or emotion conveyed in their faces (let alone the voice talent). Sadly, ‘The Lion King' was nothing more than a cash grab that relied heavily on the nostalgia and success of the original, 

6. WELCOME TO MARWEN

Robert Zemeckis, the director behind such cinematic gems as ‘Forrest Gump,’ ‘Back to the Future’ and ‘Cast Away,’ was also responsible for this woeful and misguided outing. Despite being based on the true story of a man learning to cope with a terrible trauma through the power of art and imagination, ‘Welcome to Marwen’ focused its attention on the visuals of the story instead of its narrative. Our advice? Watch the original 2010 documentary ‘Marwencol.’

5. THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA

Let’s cut straight to the point - the reason Hollywood keeps making cheap, crappy horror films with little, if any, imagination is because they will always make their money back within the opening weekend. And ‘The Curse of La Llorona’ was a prime example of this, a formulaic slab of supernatural dirge destined to be forgotten by year’s end. Filled with jump scares, loud musical cues and devoid of any originality, horror fans deserved better than this.

4. MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL

Despite the box office success of the first ‘Men in Black’ film and its two well-received sequels, ‘Men in Black: International’ was a dull and dreadful reboot that severely tarnished the franchise. There were all sorts of bad things happening in this fourth film, but none were as unforgivable as wasting the talents of both Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thomspon. You didn’t need your memory wiped after this one - the movie did it for you.

3. DARK PHOENIX

The ‘X-Men’ films have been less hit and more miss in recent times and, unfortunately for fans, ‘Dark Phoenix’ closed out the this once-great franchise in an extremely disappointing fashion. Suffering from extensive rewrites and reshoots to the point where not even the film's stars knew which characters they were playing, ‘Dark Phoenix’ was a far cry from the pitch-perfect conclusion James Mangold gave us with the vastly superior ‘Logan.’

2. HELLBOY

Director Neil Marshall’s bloody misfire of the ‘Hellboy’ franchise was a damned mess, undeserving of both your hard-earned money and your valuable time. The film’s storytelling was clumsy rather than clever, the atmosphere oppressive rather than immersive and the characters colourless rather than captivating. Try to imagine Guillermo del Toro’s original two movies, except without any spark, wit, fun, tension and excitement. Absolute hell, boy!

1. CATS

Don’t act as if you’re surprised by this year’s winner of worst film - ‘Cats’ was an epic misfire, deserving of the vitriol it received from critics everywhere (the furry community, however, LOVED IT).

From the initial spark of the thought that turning Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical into a film would be a good idea, the project was doomed. With every single decision involved in this movie more baffling than the last, the biggest and most fundamental problems were the concept design of the cats themselves and there being absolutely no semblance of a plot.

Despite there being pussy galore, ‘Cats’ failed to capture any sense of spectacle or fun, and instead plodded through an inane, boring and predictable story that was used mostly as a platform for some big West End musical numbers and A-list cameos.

Watching your neighbour’s cat lick its own arse was far more enjoyable to behold than this cinematic disaster.

[stark-park]

So I had to write something for work and I decided on this, enjoy.

Once upon a time, the term ‘nerd’ was an insult, but luckily for me, society seems to have taken a complete 180 and now people proudly use the word to describe themselves. I am not just a person, I am a total nerd. Perhaps you would use the word ‘geek’, or ‘movie/show buff’, but personally, I find ‘nerd’ to be the one that just rolls off the tongue.

So why do I mention this? Well, because there’s nothing a nerd loves better than talking about their passions, and this free write task is the perfect opportunity to babble, to ‘nerd out’ if you will. The problem for me though, is narrowing down what to actually talk about. I have so many different TV shows and movies that I love to watch and so small a word count in which to tell you all about them. Luckily for you.

Alright then, let’s rip off the bandaid and start with something that isn’t too niche: the Marvel Cinematic Universe, also known as the MCU. If you enjoy watching movies, you’d be hard pressed to have no idea what the MCU is, even if you don’t recognise the name, you may have watched movies that make up the MCU. Iron Man and Hulk for instance, or the absolute shambles and attack on my very being that was Avengers Endgame. For casual viewers, Endgame may have been enjoyable. It had big action sequences, splashes of comedy and… and… well, as a nerd I struggle to find the good within the horrific display of Disney’s monopoly of the film industry. Oh, and the completely shambolic story writing. While Marvel has produced some brilliant content since 2008, many fans - specifically, nerds like me - can’t help but hate Marvel now. No really, it’s true. Most of the hatred, for me anyway, comes from their movie Endgame.

Now, I can’t thank them enough for bringing Robert Downey Jr (the actor who portrays Iron Man/Tony Stark and was arguably born for the role) back onto the big screen again. But, the fact they took the much-loved Avengers franchise and propelled it into the far corner of sin, is something I can never forgive them for.

The unfortunate circumstances we as a society now find ourselves in -  whether you realise it as a nerd or as a casual viewer - is the sloppy and corporation-run stories with their exclusionist agendas and poorly thought out ‘shock value’ writing. Endgame is a perfect example of this, I am talking about the writing in particular. What hurts the most is the multitude of ideas that fans had for where the Avengers story could go, and what was churned out to us was a pathetic piece of plot-hole trash. Every nerd, and I mean every nerd, despite who their favourite character was, walked into Endgame with preconceptions of what could happen to a certain character and, low and behold, that came true. For spoiler reasons… and denial, I refuse to specify what actually happened, but the fact the ‘powers that be’ thought their decisions were good and would shock fans, was a very naive attitude. Not only was it unoriginal, it was plain garbage.

The disrespect that Endgame had for the characters and for the fans who had been on a decade-long journey was paramount. What’s the worst part about this shoddy film though? Not only has it left many of us - nerds I mean, not the sane and casual viewers - bitter and full of contempt, it has thrown the entire franchise under the bus. I can go back and watch a previous film in the franchise, but it will forever be tarnished by the hogwash that is Endgame.

Nerds are amazing because of their passion for the things they love, the things they ‘nerd out’ on, but when you excrete over their beloved; characters, stories, relationships, whatever it is, they take that to heart. Being a nerd is equally a curse and a gift. Passion is what drives us to love, but also to hate. Hopefully, the fan uprising against big corporations with soulless characters and meaningless stories will soon begin. I want no more Endgames; we shouldn’t be made to suffer like that ever again.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Spider-Man Far From Home

Disclaimer: Just like Avengers: Endgame, I cannot stress enough how spoilerific this movie is. I feel just reading a general overview as I am about to give here may taint your viewership if you don’t want to know anything going in. I will strive to be as spoiler-free as possible and just give enough of a tease to push non-committed cinema goers to go and see it but if you do not want to know anything about this movie going in, do not read on until you do.

General Reaction:

This is probably my favourite live-action Spider-Man movie to date. Into the Spider-Verse is still in my opinion the best Spider-Man movie overall, but this is definitely my favourite live-action one. Just as there is an in-movie debate about if Spider-Man should become the new Iron Man, I feel that debate may also be going on amongst both MCU fans and Marvel Studios in-house in terms of making both the character and movie franchise the MCU’s new focal point since Iron Man’s departure in Avengers: Endgame and the original six seemingly bowing out as the core team.

I don’t think I have ever gasped or wanted to cheer so much in an MCU movie, even in both Infinity War and Endgame where everyone was doing it, myself included, this had them beat for the legitimate surprises that the ad campaign managed to keep secret, possibly to the movie’s detriment but I’ll get into that in my spoiler review.

Even 11 years since the MCU started to build up the world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, just to see essentially a European tour with some new locations and already visited places, including one or two that I’ve visited personally, was really great to see.

There was so much that managed to one-up itself, not only from Spider-Man: Homecoming but also from what is now the Infinity Saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and in a way set the tone for the next phase and new era, that it was a wonder to behold.

The action sequences and visuals are some of the best I have seen in any movie. It made me want to see it in 3D and I actually think next time I might pay to see it in 3D they were that good.

As I said, with the ad campaign keeping so much of the movie secret, I don’t know how inticed fans will be to see the movie because it just looks like your run-of-the-mill Spidey flick but it is so much more than that.

I cannot say how good this movie was, the locations, the action, the danger, the emotion, the humour, everything came together so perfectly in this movie and you feel not only what it’s like to be in a superhero movie with a high school twist but also with that added peril of the “blip” aftermath.

You feel the ramifications of Avengers: Endgame throughout this movie, both in terms of Tony’s death and also people being wiped from reality and returning. They explain it quite well, because I know that the end of Endgame many fans were wondering why exactly Peter and Ned were back at school as if back to normal, they explained that rather well here.

Also, there are callbacks to earlier movies in the MCU so intrecally woven into the story and so shocking that it blew my freakin’ mind to think that Feige could have actually somehow planned this the whole time.

I saw this movie mere hours ago and so possibly cannot quite compartmentalise everything I saw into what is spoiler and what is not, so I will probably splurge out everything I haven’t covered here in the spoiler-review. But seriously I cannot stress how great this movie was.

Cast:

As I said in my opening, I am starting to see Tom Holland be able to stand front and centre as the main hero of the MCU, I know it’s supposed to be Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, but this movie even snubs her and we will get to that when we talk about Nick Fury. But Holland is just so likeable as Peter Parker and so genuine and comics-accurate as Spider-Man that I can never see another live-action actor portraying this character. I loved Andrew Garfield but Tom Holland is my Spider-Man as Robert Downey Jr. is the definitive Iron Man.

Zendaya continues to prove why she is such an up and comer as one of Hollywood’s best young actresses. Genuinely I see her on the same level as Letitia Wright and Naomi Scott, while she’s maybe not as funny as Letita Wright she has a realistic yet dark humour with MJ that is really relatable.

Jake Gyllenhaal is as good as Mysterio as I hoped he was. What he did with the character here is of a similar but admittedly better quality to what Michael Keaton did with The Vulture and, Rhys Ifans did with The Lizard in The Amazing Spider-Man and even what Thomas Haden Church did with Sandman in Spider-Man 3, they all made their respective characters interesting even though before seeing these cinematic versions I either didn’t know of them or didn’t care about them.

Peter’s school group are okay, they are necessary to the movie as Peter can’t go on a field trip himself, but they just kind of fade into the background. Ned continues to be an annoyance for me, Flash is just your typical noughties bully and Betty...we’ll get to Betty.

The most surprising breakout for me in this movie was Remy Hii as Brad Davis, I remember seeing this guy on Neighbours a few years back. He’s definitely upped his game a bit since then.

As for Samuel L. Jackson, Cobie Smulders, Jon Favreau and Marisa Tomei, they have some great scenes and they are as you expect them to be. It definitely helped to not focus too much on the younger actors and have some relief with the more mature content at times.

Also, without going into spoilers, there is something revealed in the end-credits scenes that made me exceedingly happy. I’d say these are the best end-credits scenes, two of them, since Doctor Strange in terms of setting up the future of the MCU.

Recommendation:

This is as close to a perfect Endgame aftermath movie as I could have imagined, it doesn’t try and ram in what everyone is doing post-Endgame but focuses on a bit of light relief mixed in with some rather serious and consequential actions along the way.

Even if you are on the fence about seeing the movie, I know I’ve said this a lot recently but, this is one of those hot topic talked about movies that you need to see regardless of if you think the trailers are only meh.

See it for yourself and take in the wonder because I guarantee you will not leave the movie with the same thoughts you had going in.

So that’s my non-spoiler review for Spider-Man: Far From Home, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[theprocrastinatingalien]

Battle of Star Trek - Batch#1 Heats (featuring Captain Archer, Odo, Commander Chakotay & Commander T'Pol)

Back in 2017 I ran a series of polls, in a giant 'Battle of Superheroes' to discover your favourite comic book character.  The answer was The Flash, btw.   I quickly followed it up with a 'Battle of the MCU' to discover your favourite movie from the MCU... with CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER topping the poll.  Mind you, we've had two more films out since then, and once INFINITY WAR hits cinemas who knows how that will ring true.

But now, here in 2018, it's time to start a new battle.  This last week saw the last episode of STAR TREK: DISCOVERY's first season... I think it's entirely appropriate to do a 'Battle of Star Trek', don't you?

Behold... 128 characters, spanning all things STAR TREK (yep, we've got characters major and minor from THE ORIGINAL SERIES, THE ANIMATED SERIES, THE NEXT GENERATION, DEEP SPACE NINE, VOYAGER, ENTERPRISE, DISCOVERY and all thirteen films).

Of course, as with the superhero polls, we've split it down into bite-size chunks.  We'll tackle it all over 8 different batches, 16 characters per batch - and here, my friends, are the characters in BATCH#1...

ISHKA

Yep, our first character is one of the many Ferengi from DS9, but Ishka (if you don't recognise the name) is Rom's 'Moogie' (i.e. she's Rom, and Quark's, business-aware mother).  Ishka was originally played by Andrea Martin before Cecily Adams took over the role.

DUKAT

Gul Dukat is probably one of the best villains in Trek.  The Cardassian was expertly played by Marc Alaimo, a great actor - and it has to be said his scenes with Nana Visitor (Kira) were always electric.  The character also received quite a story arc, from the first season right through to the last episode of DS9.

SAAVIK

Here we have our first movie-only character!  Kirstie Alley (famed from her role in CHEERS), debuted as the hot new Vulcan on the scene in STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN, but didn't return for the two sequels where Robin Curtis took over... and, weirdly, got to mate with a teen Spock.  As you do.

VEDEK BAREIL

Philip Anglim played the spiritual Bajoran who tamed the fierce Kira, as her first love interest on DS9.  He got killed off though, so never got to be Kai. Shame.  Maybe.

MAXWELL FORREST

Actor Vaughn Armstrong has played an awful lot of different characters in Trek, but Admiral Forrest, a supporting character in ENTERPRISE, his is best known one.  Fun fact - the character is called 'Forrest' in honour of DeForest Kelley.

ODO

Watch out, another DS9 character, but Odo is, at least, our first regular character.  The Shape shifter, or Changeling, or Founder - played by Rene Auberjonois - was the chief of security on the space station, both under the Cardassian rule and under Starfleet. He was certainly an interesting character, and his love for Kira an important relationship.

JONATHAN ARCHER

Look, our first lead!  Jonathan Archer is the first captain of the Enterprise... a century before Kirk.  That was what enticed actor Scott Bakula into the role.  He was already known to sci-fi fans for his long running role as Sam in QUANTUM LEAP.

NERO

Our one and only Romulan character featured in the 128 strong poll, he's also our first character from the JJ Abrams' films.  He went back in time and blew up Vulcan.  Bastard.  HULK actor Eric Bana plays him.

CHRISTINE CHAPEL

Majel Barrett (creator Gene Roddenberry's wife) originally played 'Number One' in the pilot episode, but when the character was dropped, Barrett instead took the role of Nurse Chapel.   She later became a full on doctor in the movies.

LWAXANA TROI

Another role for Majel Barrett, this time originating in THE NEXT GENERATION, as main character Deanna Troi's telepathic mother.  The Betazoid character returned in DS9, where she took a shine to Odo.

M'RESS

Ooh, look, it's our third (and final) character played by Majel Barrett to be listed.  This one is from THE ANIMATED SERIES though, a Caitian (feline) communications officer. Sadly we never got a live action version.  Maybe one day.

CHAKOTAY

Robert Beltran played Commander Chakotay, our first VOYAGER character on the list.  Chakotay was originally the leader of the Maquis, but when the two crews found themselves in the Delta Quadrant, he formed a pact with Janeway and became her first officer.

PHLOX

Our first character from ENTERPRISE, Phlox is the alien (Denobulan) medical officer with a big (and we mean BIG) grin.

DAMAR

Another character from DS9, and our second Cardassian!  Damar, played by Casey Biggs, worked under Gul Dukat, but eventually took over, leading the Cardassians in their alliance with the Dominion. Later he became the leader of the resistance against the Gamma Quadrant warmongers.

T'POL

Jolene Blalock played the Vulcan, tasked with 'spying' on the humans in ENTERPRISE.  She built up a strong friendship with Captain Archer, however, and even a romantic one with Chief Engineer Tucker.

ALEXANDER ROZHENKO

It's our first Klingon!  It's Worf's only son, Alexander!  His mother, K'Ehleyr was killed and Alexander found himself with his Dad, and 'godmother' Deanna Troi.  The character was mostly played by Brian Bonsall on TNG, before Marc Worden took over in DS9 when the character tried to carve his way as a Klingon warrior. 

So, there you are, those are your starting 16.  You guys now have to head over to twitter to place your votes on who your favourites are.  They're all paired off, and we'll see them through heats, quarter-finals, semi-finals and a final.

So find procrastinalien on twitter, and get voting!  You've got three days!

[titconao3]

I was tagged by @antarctic-echoes

Relationship Status: Single.

Favourite Colour: all of them, depending on my mood.

Lipstick or Chapstick: both?

Last Song I Listened To: *scratches head* i think it was Unforgiven? i’m learning it, but every time i try to listen to the Metallica version i start giggling as soon as the drums start - they sound so dated to me. It’s, to me and YMMV of course (no shade, just personal taste), a great song with crappy orchestration. So i ended up listening to a couple piano (solo) and guitar (solo) versions.

Last Movie I Watched: i don’t remember the last time i went to a cinema... there are films i’d like to see, and then i think - too many people, and they’ll perhaps be talking and munching and slurping around me, and i can’t stop it when i need a break, and an and... so, yeah.

Top Three Bands: as for anything else, it varies a lot, but i also don’t listen to a lot of music. Among bands i’ve enjoyed, Queen, Portishead, Marilyn Manson (honestly the Pale Emperor is a really, really great album), Jay Jay Johanson, is Bach a band? is Purcell? i don’t know. To be fair, i’m easy (but i crave silence).

Top Three Shows: among those i’m currently enjoying, Lucifer, um... Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency is deliciously absurd and well-knit, um. I enjoy Brooklyn Nine Nine most of the time.

Top Three Characters: ...only three? all the cast of Person of Interest and Lucifer, Methos (Highlander), my childhood hero Spock (the original, thank you very much ;-), everyone on the Discworld, Severus Snape (contenders: Minerva McGonagall and Hermione Granger), Elementary’s Joan Watson, several people in the MCU universe (Agent Peggy Carter, the Starks, Loki, Steve; depending on how they’re written i can love others too?), Crowley in Good Omens (i’m kinda dreading the series they’re making, but... we’ll see?), um... probably others that i'll remember only after posting this ;-)

Book I’m Currently Reading: after seeing it popping up on my dash from time to time, and although it’s not what i’d go for, i finally caved in and started the Foxhole Court books. So, lo and behold, i’m reading a Young Adult series about sports with flawed characters and whump (and h/c!) and ANDREIL OMG *cough cough*

[andinewton]

Second Chances - Avengers Redemption Series - Part One -Chapter 2

Chapter one

Characters:  Loki, Maia Tomson (OFC), Sigyn, pretty much everyone from the MCU appears at some point, including some special appearances by members of the X-Men!

Pairings: Loki x Maia Tomson, Loki x Sigyn,

Warnings:  Smut, so much smut, violence, swearing; listen, it’s NSFW and 18+, just bear that in mind!

Word Count: 179105

Summary: Loki has been handed over to The Avengers to pay penance for his past crimes, underpowered and underwhelmed by his post he is assigned a new ‘guide to Midgard’ by his superiors and is more than a little surprised when a petite freckled, redhead is waiting in the conference room, not at all like the previous handlers he has been assigned, who quit after a very short time with the snarky god. Maia Tomson is a trained literature teacher and counsellor, maybe not someone you would have picked out to be a guide to the God of Mischief but her mentor, Charles Xavier, knows she likes a challenge, and when The Avengers ask him to recommend someone she is top of his list. Surprised by the assignment, Maia takes it on, promising to do her best, but was not counting on a mutual attraction with her charge.

Join Loki on a journey to discover that his heart is not as frozen as he believes it to be, an adventure spanning almost a millennia of love gained and lost and rediscovered in the most unlikely of places…

Master List

Chapter 2

Summary: Maia settles in and meets her new charge.

Maia succeeded in avoiding Tony Stark for the first day as she unpacked the few things she had taken with her, mainly clothes, books, and all the other essentials, using the in-house cafeteria for dinner, although her temporary accommodation had every facility it was quite basic and she would need to do a big grocery shop to fill her shelves. Consisting of a kitchenette and living area that any realtor would describe as “cosy”, a bathroom and bedroom, it was adequate, she guessed, but any more than four people in the living area and it would be cramped. Luckily the only person she knew was Stark and she was in no hurry to invite him over.

In the evening an in-house courier brought her a sealed envelope asking her to be on the twentieth floor, conference room B, at nine tomorrow morning for briefing. No other information whatsoever. That was fine, she understood the need for security, and perhaps it was better she not know who her assignment was before they met so she had no preconceptions. That night she showered and hung her favourite shirt and skirt suit on the front of the wardrobe and went for an early night so she would be fresh. Clipping her ID badge to her suit jacket and smoothing first her mint green blouse then flared grey skirt, she checked her reflection as best she could in the small space between the bed and mirrored wardrobe. Her make up was subtle and brought out her blue eyes, her hair in a loose ponytail, curling down her back. She wanted to make a good impression, not knowing who she was meeting with, and she decided to take a small shoulder bag containing her wallet, lipstick, notepad and pens, because you never knew, and she left for the meeting. Maia was fifteen minutes early so she was surprised to find two people already waiting. The first was a tall, pretty brunette woman by the name of Maria Hill who shook her hand, saying she would be leading the meeting, and, low and behold, Tony Stark. She tried to hide her annoyance as he grinned at her from the large conference table. ‘Good to see you again, Secret Squirrel.’ He nodded to her as Hill offered her a seat. ‘And you, Mr Stark.’ She smiled politely. ‘Tony, remember?’ He had told her, several times, to address him thus, but she refused; firstly because she felt she didn’t know him well enough and secondly because it was the only way she could truly bug him back, besides not showing him her powers. Speaking of which, Tony sat forward in his chair and leaned on the table with his forearms. ‘Did you reconsider my offer?’ ‘Offer?’ Hill asked in puzzlement. ‘Private deal. Just me and her. C’mon. Five hundred thousand dollars is nothing to be sneezed at.’ ‘All the same, Mr Stark,’ she smiled, ‘I’ll pass, thank you.’ ‘Tony.’ He said again. ‘A million?’ Maia laughed at his persistence, she had to admire him for that. 'Sorry, still no.' 'Your loss, Squirrel.' He shrugged. 'Can we?' Hill patted the Manila folder in front of her in frustration so Tony waved his hand towards her by way of permission and Maia could all but hear Hill's eyes roll in their sockets. 'Ms Tomson, thank you for agreeing to this assignment. Professor Xavier assured us if anyone matched our criteria, it's you.' 'Thank you, Miss Hill.' Maia smiled, trying to ignore Stark as he moved his seat closer to hers. 'I have to take your word for it, as I don't know anything about the assignment other than it's to help a new agent.' 'You're right, and yet you're not, at the same time.' Hill folded her hands in front of her. 'You're to help a new agent to adjust to New York and his new position, but he is a special case. Professor Xavier was sure you would understand his situation better than any of the other agents we've tried to assign him. He's not the easiest of people to get on with.' 'I'll do my best.' Maia frowned slightly, trusting Charles' judgement but curious all the same. 'All the details are here, but...' she was interrupted by a knock at the door. 'This should be him now. Come in!' The door opened and a male agent walked in, taking a stance to one side, but it was the man who followed him who took Maia's breath away. Tall and regal with slicked back black hair that brushed the collar of his black designer suit, matching black shirt and tie, his face handsome with high cheekbones and a smooth jaw. Maia could hardly breath as he turned his green eyes on her. Her charge was Loki, Prince of Asgard.

Chapter 3

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

I was tagged by @peggys-library thank you dear <3 god knows I love doing silly tagging games :D

Rules: name one of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms and tag 10 blogs

This is just a list not a top 10 because I cannot, for the life of me, put these ten in favorite to least favorite order

1. Christoffer Schistad - Skam

What can I say? I’m just weak for the fuckboys, at least the fictional ones

2. Stiles Stilinski - Teen Wolf

*whispers* those cheekbones

3. Jughead Jones - Riverdale

Did someone say sarcastic boy who’s smart and can be a lil bit of an asshole? Yes, I have a type, it’s the third one on the list and it’s not over yet.

4. Lagertha Lothbrok - Vikings

Behold my beautiful goddess

5. Draco Malfoy

Another smart and asshole-y character, see what I told you? I love ‘em 

6. Blair Waldorf

Role model, I wish I was a classy a bitch, but I’m just average and I like to bitch about everything. Also if I could have, let’s say, her illimited credit card, I wouldn’t really mind.

7. Ophelia - Sweet/Vicious

This gir right there is my spirit animal, I love her, okay? I love her to pieces and I’ll be super sad if the show doesn’t get renewed

8. Peter Pan - OUAT

Oh look, another intelligent villian played by a young actor (i can see a pattern here, don’t you?)

9. Bucky Barnes - MCU

Do I like the broody type? The ones who look like they haven’t slep in ages, never saw a brush in their life, and are in severe need of a cup of tea and a blanket? I do.

10. Kili - The Hobbit

Look at him, jUST LOOK AT HIM *the little wink*

Well that was equally difficult and fun! I’m sorry to see that there are so few women in the list but although there are a lot of female characters that I love, I only read hetero fanfic (yes, I’m one of those people, I’m surprise we do still exist on tumblr) so my fav characters are mostly male.

I’m tagging @reivenesque (you’re now my tag buddy) @s-kamimagines (i haven’t checked in in a while, how are you?? I heard saw that you moved, you finding your bearings??) @noyellie @jgheadjones @bathshebaa @caffieinated @newtonscamader @iheartsatang

[shattered-rp-blog]

Congratulations, Mack!

You’ve been accepted as Jean Grey, welcome to the family! So sorry that we took this long to accept, but we’re diving right into it now. We’re impressed with your take on Jean and Cas is so happy that Charles has one of his favorite students around! We’d love to help you get used to RPing on tumblr, it has some tricks and you’ll fit in quickly, I’m sure. And yes, the Phoenix force should make an appearance along the way, maybe with a big event? We’ll see! Please send in your account in the next 48 hours and make sure you go through our checklist!

App Form - Canon

OOC

Name:  Mack

Preferred Pronouns:  She/Her

Age: 33

Timezone: Central  

Availability (with a short explanation): Most evenings after 6:30pm CST on M-F, Sa/Sun varies. I work a full time job and go out with my SO on dates on weekends. But I always make time for RP.

Do you have any triggers?: Emotional abuse

IC

Full Name: Jean Elaine Grey

Second character choice (if there’s any): N/A

Alias:  Marvel Girl, Phoenix

Affiliation:  Secret Mutants

Age (16+): 28

Faceclaim:  Bridget Regan

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Character quote: “You’re a firecracker Creed. I’m an atom bomb.”

Why do you want to play this character?:

I have always been drawn to Jean because of her complexity and the struggle she has within her to control both her powers and herself. My obsession with the character has led me to collecting action figures, jewelry, and even a real animation plate from the ‘90s X-Men Cartoon.

I’ve already  played Jean for over 7 years in one game, and for three years in another, but most of them were predominantly X-Men-centric so I’d love the chance to have her interact with both X-Men and other MCU characters. I also see that you guys have an Xavier, and I’d love to explore Jean and Xavier’s father/daughter type relationship (provided the player is okay with that).

Biography (3+ paragraphs, you can use the skeleton to help you):

Jean Grey was born to Elaine Grey, a lawyer, and Dr. John Grey, a professor of history at Bard College in Annandale on Hudson, New York. She was the youngest after her sister Sara, who was born two years earlier. Jean was a bright, imaginative girl who often divided her time between reading, watching action/adventure movies, and playing with her sister and the neighborhood kids.

When she was 12, Jean was forced to grow up impossibly early when she saw her best friend, Annie Richardson, get hit by a car. As the girl lay dying, Jean’s mutant ability to read minds manifested, and she felt her friend’s thoughts and emotions as she passed. This event left Jean depressed and withdrawn, and she suddenly discovered that she was hearing voices that she couldn’t turn off.

A month after Annie’s death, Jean’s depression and abilities came to a head and she was plagued by a nightmare that put Jean, her parents, sister, and most of the block in a telepathic slumber that they could not be roused from. The comas alerted the attention of the local media and Professor Charles Xavier, who was able to awaken Jean and the others from a distance. The authorities wrote it off as a “carbon monoxide gas leak.”

Xavier managed to convince Jean’s parents to allow her to come to his school for gifted mutants, where he met Scott Summers, Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy, and Warren Worthington. Jean formed a close relationship to Xavier, seeing him as a mentor and a father figure. She was drawn to his dream of humans and mutants eventually existing in peace and was eager to join his “X-Men” (even if she didn’t like the name), to help protect both human and mutant kind.

He was able to help her learn how to control her telepathy and telekinesis, which manifested soon after her arrival at the school due to raging teenage hormones and living in a house with all boys causing her untold amounts of frustration. All except for one. She fell hard for Scott Summers, the “leader” of the group. After a short love triangle between her, Scott, and Warren in their teenage years, Jean and Scott became a couple.

Jean realized that she wanted to do more than just be an X-Man and decided to become a medical doctor to help treat the X-Men and other mutants who came in. She enrolled at Empire State University after she graduated from high school and helped the X-Men as much as she could during that time. Unfortunately, she forced to drop out of the program a few months shy of completing her residency when the Sokovia Accords were signed and and the X-Men went underground.

Luckily (or unluckily), being an X-Man means she gets practice treating injuries. In her spare time, however, she has taken a liking to teaching the younger students biology, tag-teaming with Hank to give the full science experience.

Jean didn’t hesitate to go with Xavier and the other X-Men when they went underground. She is completely against registration, finding it to be immoral. She is willing to do whatever it takes to try to help people understand that mutants are nothing to fear.

Physical Description

Height: 5’ 9”

Weight: 145

Eye Color: Green

Hair: Copper Red

Distinguishing Features: None

Personality:

Jean Grey is an intelligent woman who finds her passion in medicine and being proactive in mutant issues and rights in politics. She has an unquenchable desire to learn, be it the physicality of the knowledge that comes from a library, or in the intricacies of those around her. She is a quick study and has a great memory, for better or worse.

Jean sees her abilities both as a blessing and a bane at times. She often sees people as others may not see, whether she, and they, like it or not . The minds of others are like doors to her,  sometimes closed, sometimes opened, but nonetheless solid and present, echoing with the secrets of what may lie behind them.  She has worked to gain the trust of those she works with and cares about, because she has the potential to learn those secrets with a mere turn of the door handle. It gives her a power she takes seriously, though sometimes the “louder” minds tend to blare at her like a foghorn.  She tries to keep those secrets, though sometimes she can play dirty. 

Jean loves with all of her heart and soul, and reacts with other emotions the same way if she doesn’t catch herself. She is warm, compassionate, and loving, but is also firm and not afraid to speak her mind if need be. Her temper can be something to behold if someone she loves has been hurt or threatened. Despite her past experiences, Jean is still a fairly optimistic person.   She has a great sense of humor and is not afraid to show it. She can also be rash and impulsive if she lets her emotions get to her, and while she forgives, she doesn’t forget.

Ships: Jean Grey/Scott Summers

Para sample (in character): (Removed for privacy)

Additional (optional):  Horoscope: Cancer, Myers-Briggs: INFJ

Favourites? Headcanons?  Favorite Tea: Chai with a splash of almond milk, Favorite Dessert: Everything, Favorite food: ramen. Favorite color: Green, Favorite Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Meditates a lot. Does a lot of online shopping to avoid crowds. Even though she’s got a lot of control over her powers, sometimes huge crowds give her a headache from trying to keep all the voices out.

Wanted connections: Jean/Xavier, Jean/Scott, Jean/Hank, Jean/Bobby, Jean/Warren.

Questions or requests? Mostly used to chat rooms or Play by Email so I’d love some guidance on how to RP on Tumblr. I would also like to actually have the Phoenix manifest later (but not too much later) down the road as a future story arc to provide more plot fuel. 

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Captain Marvel (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the weekend following the movie’s release in the U.K, so if you have not yet seen the movie then go and see it and then read on.

Stan Lee:

Before going into the actual characters in the movie, I want to briefly talk about Stan Lee and his continuing posthumous tributes from the studio that he built from the ground up. After Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, I did not feel they could top what they did with his cameo in that store selling the Spidey suit to Miles Morales. But here, not only did the many cameos of Stan become the images you see in the Marvel Studios logo with a touching add-on saying “Thank You Stan” which had my audience whooping and applauding but also Stan himself appears on the train scene where Carol is searching for a Skrull and the two simply smile at each other, very touching and very well done.

Characters:

Alright so as per usual in my character analyses, I will be talking about these characters in order of my favourites and...I am quite surprised about the order of my favourites from going into this movie to coming out of the movie.

Nick Fury:

By far and away, Nicholas Joseph Fury, or just Fury, is by far and away the best character in this movie. I love Samuel L. Jackson and he has always been a fantastic supporting and lead actor in whatever movie he is in. Yes he is a supporting character here to Captain Marvel but he supports her so well and does so without pulling focus away from the fact it is Brie Larson’s movie.

The movie does drag a lot towards the start with more exposition than action but it isn’t neccersarily descriptive exposition and is instead “Here’s this character (Carol Danvers) and here’s this character (Yon-Rogg) and now they’re with these characters (Starforce)”. All of that changes when Carol comes to Earth and first interacts with Fury.

As I said in my non-spoiler review, the de-aging technology is in full effect with Jackson and it really pays off because not only do you believe you are looking at a young Fury but also it’s the thrill of finding out just how Fury lost his eye.

I loved the dynamic between the two characters, more-so than I feel any other partnership Fury has been with. I just enjoyed that aliens were still an unknown variable to SHIELD and so Fury was pretty much learning from scratch about how aliens work. From the interaction in the diner about the difference between Kree and Skrulls to the turbulence gag about the reconfigured aircraft towards the end of the movie.

I also found it fun that this wasn’t Director Fury and was simply Agent Fury...to the point where Coulson called him “Mr. Fury”. Yet he still commanded the respect and strategic planning he has in the present day. However, he is shown to make mistakes at the level of agent he is at particularly when he called in Ben Mendelsohn’s human character Keller who at this point in time is the Director of SHIELD and therefore Fury’s boss without realizing that it was in fact Talos in disguise. To be fair I don’t see how Carol can blame him for that as he’s never met a Skrull before this day but I did like it when she confiscated his pager.

Some critics are saying it’s Fury’s interactions with Goose that sold Goose’s performance and in some respect I do see the argument for that, however, I believe Fury’s interactions are simply the reactions to what the cat does. Both in her cuteness but also in what she does and what is revealed from her.

I thought the fact it was Goose who made Fury lose an eye to be absolutely fantastic. Yes, Fury has mentioned before that the last time he trusted someone is when he lost the eye and I do not feel previous stories of the eye loss add up here but I do believe Fury is the type of character to try and save face rather than the embarrassment that a space kitty with infected claws is the reason. It was great

I felt the fact that the movie’s events are what led Fury to create and push forward the Avengers Initiative, to the point where Carol’s nickname of Avenger is what gave him the idea for the name, is something I don’t agree with. Firstly, chronologically Captain America is still the first Avenger so anyone saying this movie creates continuity issues there is wrong, but the fact that the title Avenger...which up to 10 people have shared in present day...comes from a single person rather than just a thought is slightly inconsiderate of the individual team members and instead puts Carol on a pedastool with Fury recruiting these other members to try and reach her power level.

Goose:

Speaking of the space kitty, it is confirmed that Goose is in fact a Flerkin which is from the comics so is authentic. I was happy that being an alien kitty was not so much important to the movie but not just a throwaway aspect and was somewhat a plotpoint to the movie.

I don’t believe Goose was ever Carol’s pet as promoted but instead went from being Mar-Vell’s to Nick Fury’s. Although I am curious to know what happened to Goose from this movie to present day but I do hope Fury actually kept Goose as a pet and not just until she coughed up the Tesseract.

Oh yeah, the Tesseract is surprisingly in this movie and has multiple reasons to be, but I do believe it’s last use in this movie is to give Goose a home at the end of the movie.

The reveal of Goose’s Flerkin tentacles were fantastic. The first time when Goose ate the Tesseract was definitely a shock but the second time when Goose either ate the Kree or simply threw them around...Fury’s reaction said it all and the roar of laughter in the cinema added to the brilliance of it.

Also on a side-note, when the Kree captured the heroes and muzzled Goose in that cute little cat muzzle was both adorable and tragic.

Carol Danvers:

Brie Larson is a very polarizing actress for me in this role. On the one hand, I don’t think she’s a comedic actress and for that matter that Carol Danvers is a comedic character. But on the other hand, this was the first time I was willing an actress to have her moment in this movie where she finally clicked with the audience because, as an Oscar-winning actress, I know she has it in her.

That moment for me came when she found out about her connection with Wendy Lawson and started to regain her identity, because until that point I thought she was slightly robotic and a little bit like Evangeline Lilly as Hope in Ant-Man and the Wasp in that she was being the angry soccer-mom who was ruining Fury’s fun.

That being said, I did enjoy this movie’s take on a fish out of water story. The MCU has of course done this before for male characters like Thor and Cap technically, but to take the journey as a supposed alien with 6 years of military training and therefore knowing how to gather her bearings and track what she needs was very good to see and moved the story along quickly.

Also the fact she pretty much arrived on Earth and the first thing she does is steal a motorbike and clothes because she knows how to blend in is both military survival and reconnaissance 101. By the way side-note, that jerk biker who was leching on Carol is in fact Rob Kazinsky aka Sean Slater from EastEnders, random I know but I was very surprised to learn that.

That’s kind of where my admiration for her character went away though, yes she was funny with her budding friendship with Nick Fury but...not only is she ridiculously overpowered, but she seems to know what she wants and it’s almost as if the movie just gives it to her. There’s no trial and error as we are led to believe in the trailers with that theme of “Getting knocked down but getting back up”, she does do this particularly at the start in her training session with Yon-Rogg but there’s then no learning curve and simply she doesn’t know something and then all of a sudden she can do it.

I didn’t understand her “Kree name” Vers, I get it was taken from the broken dog tag piece she had with her name on it but it really got annoying after a while because I know her as Carol or Danvers or Captain Marvel or Ms. Marvel, I do not know her as Vers. It may have been a ploy by the Kree to say “You’ve always been Kree, this is your Kree name” but come on you have names like Minn-Erva, Yon-Rogg and Mar-Vell but then you have Vers? Not even Dann-Vers?

I did like the reason why she changed the colour of her suit. Yes seagreen is Kree colours and the movie definitely didn’t make the suits look as bad as the set photos lead to believe but when Monica helps her find a new colour theme and she goes through several different options, including Mar-Vell’s colours from the comics, it was a nice sentiment to choose the same colours as Monica’s top so they could basically be on the same team.

The fact her powers, it’s hard to say her Kree side because she was human and then enhanced by the ship core, but the fact these powers came from the Tesseract is something 1) Die-hard fans kind of guessed but I feel before Infinity War fans guessed she’d be powered by the Soul Stone rather than the Space Stone and 2) Was a good shocker moment for the movie because it kind of explains how the Tesseract came to be in SHIELD’s possession because I always thought Steve Rogers had it with him when he was saved from the ocean in present day but in actuality it disappeared when Red Skull did and so must have somehow come into Mar-Vell’s possession.

It does lead to an interesting match-up in Endgame as Carol is now the only living hero with any sort of Infinity Stone enhancement that can combat Thanos but I will be interested to know if the gauntlet is still working will he be able to somehow control Captain Marvel?

I love my special effects and I did think her Binary mode power-set was brilliant to behold however as has been said by numerous people I do think she is overpowered and particularly when it comes to the rest of the Avengers. I don’t see how she can be part of the same team and not simply defeat foes single-handed. Particularly if they reshape the team after Endgame so the roster consists of her, Black Panther, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, Ant-Man and Wasp. I mean yes, Doctor Strange may also hold his own with her but the rest are pretty much enhanced by technology.

I didn’t like the end battle, I thought it wasn’t as epic and grand as it should have been and the fact 1) Captain Marvel was pretty much all the time a CGI construct took me out of the movie and the fact that also 2) She pretty much whooped at the fact she took on missiles was a little bit of a jerk move.

I will also say that in the context of this movie I do understand the origin of the character they’ve told, however I really wish they had showed somewhere in her history that she had been Ms. Marvel, Binary is someone she can easily become as her full powers at the end of this movie have been dubbed her “Binary Mode”, but without being Ms. Marvel it does close a lot of doors for certain stories like, for example, Rogue getting her powers.

Yes they can still do the origin story where Rogue absorbs Captain Marvel’s powers, but if Carol has been off-world since 1995 and only comes back in Endgame, Rogue would have to discover her powers in a present day movie.

I did appreciate the fact that Carol showed a deep appreciation for both her female and male superiors, despite having a type of banter-style relationship with Yon-Rogg he was still her superior and she blindly listened to his instruction until she learned the truth. Then as for her admiration for Wendy Lawson, I mean the Supreme Intelligence takes on the appearance of the person you admire most and it chose her so it speaks for itself.

I will talk about Captain Marvel’s future when I talk about the end-credits scenes but I am both excited and hesitant for her future in the MCU.

Yon-Rogg:

Jude Law;s character has been the subject of much debate since he was announced to be in the movie. At first fans speculated he would be Mar-Vell aka the original Captain Marvel, but then when his name was revealed as Yon-Rogg, despite being a character from the comics, fans thought it may be a red herring for some reason. The fact he was Yon-Rogg and the changes they made to Mar-Vell I think is slightly a missed opportunity for the actor but also this is one of the only occasions where I have seen Jude Law portray a villain.

In terms of his villainy, I thought Jude Law did rather well. He wasn’t a formidable opponent and instead just was the hero’s former mentor turned enemy. He was an MCU standard villain and in terms of good guy turned bad, he wasn’t really ever established as a good guy per say but I’d say he’s on the same level as John Garrett from Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 just with a better motivation.

I don’t know much about Yon-Rogg as a character, I know he was Mar-Vell’s commanding officer but when Mar-Vell turned against the Kree he became obviously his enemy. Basically Yon-Rogg’s story here is the same as it was in the comics just with Carol Danvers rather than Mar-Vell, also Mar-Vell was born Kree whereas Carol became enhanced as Kree.

There’s not really a lot to say more about his performance or character here, I don’t know what would have become of him when Captain Marvel took him back to Hala because the Supreme Intelligence is also an enemy but as to whether or not he could come back I would say he could in a future Captain Marvel sequel but we shall see.

Starforce:

Starforce in this movie were about as well developed as STRIKE from Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Both teams were military/law enforcement and both included kind of focussed on secondary characters as well as the main heroes. In this case those secondary characters as Yon-Rogg and Minn-Erva. I mean Korath the Pursuer from Guardians of the Galaxy is also on the team but he is really just there as an Easter-Egg and it isn’t at all established how he ends up working directly for Ronan away from Starforce, unless the Kree soldiers are Starforce.

As for Minn-Eeva, I love Gemma Chan, I think she is a great actress and really lends herself to this type of authoritative role. I know Doctor Minerva in the comics is an enemy of Captain Marvel who sought out Mar-Vell on Earth to mate with him to further the Kree genetic line but I do not see that happening here for numerous reasons, the main of which is that Minn-Erva apparently dies at the end of this movie and unless she has somehow pulled a Nebula I don’t see her coming back.

Talos:

Talos is a conflicting character for me because while I do believe this is the best performance I have seen of Ben Mendelsohn’s I don’t know how to react to the fact that Talos and his Skrull followers are good guys.

I did like the fact he was still shown as an enemy of the Kree, which at the time included Carol, but then when she learned the truth he became quite the reliable ally.

I loved his humour particularly when they were examining Carol’s mind and she had his Kree scientist guy tap her head again like he was adjusting a TV signal, the 90s jokes in this were fantastic. Also when Fury was worried about the turbulance and Talos was the only one to be honest with him about it, this never felt like it was the men supporting the women and simply just bouncing off them well.

Skrulls:

I think the fact Talos has a family, particularly a daughter, raises hope for the future of the Skrulls in the MCU in regards to being a threat and specifically adapting Secret Invasion. In the comics, it’s a female Skrull who leads the way as she adopts the identity of Spider-Woman so it could easily be adapted in the MCU that the Skrull Queen is in fact Talos’ daughter who saw the threat in the world and, despite her parents preaching peace, wants vengeance.

I want the Skrulls to be formidable but to my imagination the Skrulls have usually been footsoldiers or grunts for bigger threats rather than being the big bads unless the Kree have been involved or Secret Invasion is the story.

I still really enjoyed the Skrulls when they were shapeshifting here and particularly the now infamous old lady on the train scene, but come on...no disrespect to the old lady but as soon as she hit the floor you could tell it was a stunt double.

Mar-Vell:

Okay so this was my biggest problem with the movie, some people will say making Mar-Vell a woman is a good and interesting thing for MCU...I say that Mar-Vell in the comics is an underrated superhero and someone whose origins I was hoping to see explored in the MCU. Not only is Mar-Vell a lover of Carol Danvers and how she chose her superhero names in the comics but also he is the father of Young Avengers member Hulkling when he had a forbidden affair with a Skrull princess...again something that could have been explored in a Mar-Vell movie.

Also, like Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, Mar-Vell could have easily been introduced either in Phase 1 or 2 as a superhero, which would have made only introducing Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel at the end of Phase 3 more organic as she would have been introduced as Carol Danvers in that movie.

Unfortunately though, this is what we have. Now to be fair, Annette Benning was really good in this role. She did fill that Glenn Close, Sylvester Stallone, Beneicio Del Toro role of not being the main villain but also being the big name on the cast list.

As Mar-Vell, I do like the fact they did simply “genderflip” the character by making the alias Wendy Lawson as opposed to the comics-accurate Walter Lawson. As I said with Carol, I did also like how they established her admiration for Mar-Vell before of course realizing who she actually was. I would have loved to have seen her in her orbiting laboratory or obtaining the Tesseract but there was so much in this movie I guess they couldn’t fit it in.

I do however think, as Feige knows how to play the long game with these movies, that if they had introduced the idea of this version of Mar-Vell way back when in a Captain America: The First Avenger post-credits scene, maybe with the Tesseract appearing on a beach or something and Mar-Vell obtaining it, then it would have been more organic than just having her have it here.

Also in regards to Mar-Vell being the personification of Carol’s version of the Supreme Intelligence was rather interesting. Particularly when you consider that when she knew Mar-Vell she had brown hair but the Supreme Intelligence construct quite clearly has grey/white hair.

I did enjoy her dimension as this almost virtual reality setting and the fact she could manipulate quite literally everything was rather cool.

I wish they didn’t destroy her so easily for the pure and simple reason of I feel she has a lot more to give going forward. In the comics she is part of the Intergalactic Council which also features Lilandra of the Shi’ar which may have been a good way to introduce them outside of the Dark Phoenix Saga.

Maria Rambeau:

I wasn’t massively a fan of Maria despite how much she had been hyped up in the promos, I did feel she was more of a gateway for her daughter who will become Photon later in her life.

I did like the actress Lashauna Lynch in the role. I thought she fit the bill of being a sassy, strong-willed single mother and I believed the friendship between Maria and Carol despite the fact we only really see that one scene in flashbacks and then after that it’s Maria coming to terms with how Carol has changed after her Kree enhancement.

I did also rather appreciate the fact we have not yet seen this type of family unit in the MCU before. We had Carol being bullied and neglected by her own family so she was I think taken in by the Rambeaus and she became almost a second mother to Monica as she helped Maria raise her. It did lead to my fiancé constantly saying that Carol and Maria are lesbians and to be fair unless you count the fact that Maria needed a man to create Monica there is no mention of either lady have a male love interest in this movie, but I just love that dynamic of breaking the mold of the typical “Nuclear Family”. Not only does is pave the way for the Fantastic 4 who are one of the most unconventional families in comics, but also it’s another example of female empowerment in not needing a man to raise a child.

As for Monica, I really liked this young actress, Akira Akbar. I liked the fact they had sisters portraying the two different ages because it adds realism to the character. I thought the relationship she had with both her mother and Carol was really well established and, as mentioned, her helping Carol choose her new colours was a rather sweet moment.

I do find it interesting that in Endgame we are going to the future and having an aged-up Cassie Lang as Stature or maybe Stinger depending on where they want to go with the character. So it stands to reason that while Monica is 11 in 1995, she’ll be mid-30s in this future version so could easily been shown as Photon and team-up with Captain Marvel. They made need characters to be in space and the only ones who can possibly survive that unaided are Captain Marvel and Photon.

Agent Coulson:

Oh how far Clark Gregg has fallen, from the comedic string tying all of Phase 1 together to the slapstick leading his own show. I do think there was something missing from his performance here because this is just over 10 years before the events of Iron Man and so either he hasn’t found his comedic niche yet or the actor has just lost what made Coulson such a fan favourite in the first place, either way overall he was disappointing.

Having said that he did have two great moments. The first was the reveal that the Coulson in the car with Fury was in fact a Skrull as the real Coulson was still waiting where they drove off from, that was really cool but I did kind of guess it in the acting because Skrull Coulson felt slightly too rigid. But the second part was right at the end when Fury had lost his eye and Coulson brought that box of fake eyes for him to choose from. Just that one line of “Don’t take too long, you have a big decision to make” was very Coulson and I appreciated he at least ended on a good note.

Endgame:

Alright so the mid-credits scene here is another scene taken from possibly the end of the first act in Avengers: Endgame, think the Ant-Man scene which showed a clip from Captain America: Civil War with Cap and Falcon talking about Bucky. It focuses on Cap, Bruce. Natasha and Rhodey in the Avengers Compound and the fact they have somehow obtained Fury’s pager which has apparently stopped beeping.

I can’t remember if they get it beeping again before the reveal but after Natasha says “I want to know who’s on the other end of that call”, she turns to find Captain Marvel standing there looking slightly flustered and simply asking “Where’s Fury?”.

I have to say, Brie Larson as the character was growing throughout this movie, here she reached her stride in that 10 second shot of her. Seeing Captain Marvel with the Avengers for a start was brilliant but also her hair went from the choppy bob to a more battle-beaten version of Black Widow in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Obviously this is supposed to be over 20 years in time so while she may not age physically thanks to her Kree enhancement, she does of course change.

Also it is interesting to note that both Natasha and Clint aka Hawkeye soon to be Ronin share the same thought pattern when it comes to mysterious communication devices. In the first Avengers movie when Hawkeye and Fury are talking about the Tesseract acting like a portal, Hawkeye questions where this portal is leading to and here Natasha pretty much questions the same thing. I don’t know if that’s their SHIELD training or just how they both think but it was a nice call-back for me.

It is a scene directly taken from the movie but it is the right scene because it teased so much and just asked so many more questions than I had before. I cannot wait until the end of April.

Overall I rate the movie a solid 7/10, it was by no means a perfect movie as if you want to find problems you will find them easily. Maybe because this is now the 11th year and that the MCU has become so formulaic that it is just so easy to find flaws now but still, the comedy was great, the acting was great. I did enjoy the story, I enjoyed the growth of Brie Larson throughout the movie and I look forward to seeing what happens to these characters next.

So that’s my review of Captain Marvel, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[theprocrastinatingalien]

Battle of Superheroes - Batch#5 (featuring Star-Lord, Robin, The Riddler and Spider-Man!)

After a short hiatus, the Battle of Superheroes is back!

Four batches of sixteen comic book icons have been subjected to your voting power, and we currently have four heroes standing as champions of those batches.

Batman, The Flash, Green Lantern and Nightwing.

The first thing you might notice... they're all DC Comic identities! Despite there being more Marvel options, ultimately DC hold the fan favourites.  With two batches left, will Marvel get ANY of their products through to the finals?

Let's find out, shall we?

BATCH#5!

Sixteen new options stand before you, so nip over to twitter - add procrastinalien - and get voting for your favourites!

But who are these options?  Behold -

QUICKSILVER

Pietro Maximoff (or Peter if you'd rather), is the son of Magneto, and brother to Wanda (Scarlet Witch).  He has super speed and cool lighting-white hair. On the big screen, the character found himself being given two different takes, one for the X-MEN films, played by Evan Peters, and one for Marvel Studios' AVENGERS films, played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

QUAKE

It's doubtful that the character of 'Skye' was introduced into Marvel series AGENTS OF SHIELD with the intention to reveal her true identity as Daisy 'Quake' Johnson, but that's what's happened.  Quake is now, near enough, the face of the series, an Inhuman with the power to 'quake' the ground, and even use the power of those tremors to make herself fly to a point.  Chloe Bennet plays the character on screen.

RED SKULL

Captain America's nemesis, Red Skull  is a mutated Nazi, and a prominent villain in the comics.  In the films, he didn't fair so well, with Hugo Weaving only appearing in the first CAPTAIN AMERICA movie, although there are rumours the ruthless villain will appear again soon(ish).

THE RIDDLER

One of the 'big four' villains within Batman's Rogue gallery. Edward Nygma's riddle-creating bad guy is easily my personal favourite. He's a character definitely due a big screen revamp, last seen on the silver screen back in 95, when Jim Carrey played the part with his characteristic OTT energy (similar in parts to Frank Gorshin's 60s turn). Nygma is currently being given the TV Screen treatment in GOTHAM, played by Corey Michael Smith.

ROBIN (TIM DRAKE)

Whilst Dick Grayson is probably the best known Robin, Tim Drake is possible the longest running (but don't quote me on that).  Drake is officially the third 'Robin' in canon, although he has moved onto to become his own hero as 'Red Robin' away from Batman's shadow.  Yet to be given a live action treatment, that might change with the every expanding DCEU.

ROCKET RACCOON

He's a talking raccoon!  That makes him awesome.   The fact he's a gun-toting talking raccoon just makes him even cooler.  Voiced by Bradley Cooper in the current GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY movies, and set to appear next in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR.

ROGUE

With the power to drain the life out of others, Rogue doesn't get to be intimate with others much.  Anna Paquin played the character, as the audience way into the X-MEN movies, playing the part slightly younger than the comic version, and never villainous (as she initially was).

SCARLET WITCH

With  powers that come across as magical, Wanda Maximoff is the daughter of Magneto, and sister to Quicksilver.  Unlike her brother, she's only got the one big screen version, with Elizabeth Olsen playing the mind-alterating witch in the MCU.

SHAZAM

When the young boy Billy Batson summons the power of immortal elders (Solomen, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles and Mercury) he becomes Shazam! (basically Superman in red).   No live action films yet, but one's coming, apparently in 2019 for the DCEU.

SILVER SURFER

He's silver, and he surfs in space.  That's as cool as a gun-toting talking raccoon.  Nearly. He saved his home planet by serving as the herald for Galactus.  He was voiced by Laurence Fishburne in FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER.

SINESTRO

The arch nemesis of the Green Lanterns, harnessing the power of yellow.   He was expertly cast with Mark Strong in GREEN LANTERN, starring Ryan Reynolds. Most fans would happily have Strong return to the role in GREEN LANTERN CORPS when it surfaces in the next few years,

SPIDER-GWEN

In an alternative world, it's Peter Parker that dies, not Gwen Stacy.  Gwen then becomes the heroine of the story.   This version of the story has become quite popular, and it has to be questioned how long it will be before SONY bring forth a SPIDER-GWEN movie?

SPIDER-MAN (MILES MORALES)

After Peter Parker is killed, young Miles Morales takes over the mantle of the webslinger.  A very popular addition to the Spider-verse, many fans wanted Miles to get a shot when Spider-Man joined the MCU.  We know he exists in the 'verse so it's just a matter of time.  I'm sure when Tom Holland exits the role, Miles will get is time to shine.

SPIDER-MAN (PETER PARKER)

Is the original the best? Peter Parker is the best know Spider-Man to the masses, and the go-to version of Spidey.  Audiences have been through a few different takes on Parker in the last couple of decades.  Sam Raimi cast Tobey Maguire in SPIDER-MAN, with two sequels following.  Marc Webb then cast Andrew Garfield in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN and it's sequel.   Now we have Tom Holland as the youngest actor to play webhead, but also the first to get to play with the rest of the Marvel characters.

SQUIRREL GIRL

Is Squirrel Girl a spoof, or a legitimate heroine in her own right?  You decide that one.  Actress Anna Kendrick wanted the part, but Milana Vayntrub has been cast in the role, who will play as a lead in the live action NEW WARRIORS currently in development.

STAR-LORD

Peter Quill was a just a young boy when he was taken from Earth, but as an adult he now stands as Star-Lord, the leader of the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.   The new films have proved really popular, and has launched actor Chris Pratt's star soaring. Next to be seen in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR where he'll partner up with some other famous Chris'.

There they are, the 16 comic icons awaiting your voting prowess.  You've got 3 days to vote, so get over to twitter, check out procrastinalien - and get voting!

[theprocrastinatingalien]

Battle of Superheroes - Batch#4 (featuring Lex Luthor, Nightwing, Professor X and The Punisher)

Three Batches done and dusted.  Now it's time to bring out a new batch of superheroes for you all to vote for... picking your favourites in the great battle of popularity.

Head over to twitter to cast your votes - making sure you add procrastinalien along the way.

So, who is this fourth delicious batch of superheroes and villains?  Behold 16 names for you to ponder.

LEX LUTHOR

Superman's arch nemesis, Lex has appeared in more films than another other featuring the man of steel.  He's been played by Gene Hackman, Kevin Spacey and recently Jesse Eisenberg on the big screen, and John O'Shea & Michael Rosenbaum on the small screen.  The one-time president of America is hoping for your votes!

LOKI

Thor's evil brother, played expertly by Tom Hiddleston in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and now a fan favourite. Will next be seen in THOR: RAGNAROK, before the god of mischief aligns with Thanos in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR.

LUKE CAGE

Power Man recently got his live-action treatment, courtesy of Mike Colter on Netflix.  The man with unbreakable skin was introduced via JESSICA JONES, before getting his own series LUKE CAGE and now team up with some other heroes as THE DEFENDERS.

MAGNETO

Here we have the boss man in the Brotherhood of Mutants, firm villain of the X-Men... unless he's part of them... or even leading them.  Such is the turbulent relationship Erik Lensherr of Charles Xavier.  Magneto - with the power of control over all things metal - has been played by both Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER

I'll be honest, I'm surprised, with Warner Bros bringing together the JUSTICE LEAGUE this year, the Martian Manhunter hasn't been brought in yet.  But there we are.  He does, however, appear in SUPERGIRL on TV.  David Harewood plays J'onn J'onzz on the show... I have to wonder who'll they cast in the big screen endeavours.

MR FANTASTIC

Reed Richards is the head of the family in the FANTASTIC FOUR.  The man with elasticated limbs also happens to be a genius.  In the comics he's one of the illuminati... but as yet, the Fantastic Four stand separate to the MCU, residing over a Fox, next to (but not quite connect to) the X-Men films.  Three films have been released this side of the millennium.  Ioan Gruffudd played the scientist in the first two films, with Miles Teller taking over in the less-than-fantastic reboot.

MR FREEZE

This chilling villain belongs to Batman's 'Rogue Gallery'.  After appearing a few times in the camp 60s series, he got his sole big screen treatment in 97 when Arnold Schwarzenegger was expertly miscast in the role for the misjudged BATMAN & ROBIN.  He got a more grounded take in GOTHAM, where he was played by Nathan Darrow.

MYSTIQUE

Raven Darkholme is Magneto's right hand (wo)man.   The shapeshifter happens to be blue in her natural state - which makes her awesome.  She also happens to be Nightcrawler's mum.  But you'll never hear that referenced in the movies.  She's appeared quite a bit... initially played as a lackey whilst played by Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, but from X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, she was promoted to integral key player once Jennifer Lawrence stepped into the role.

NAMOR

Here we have another member of Marvel's illuminati.  He's the king of Atlantis, essentially Marvel's answer to Aquaman. He has yet to get a live action turn, but as Marvel pushes on into it's fourth phase, they'll be expanding their horizons... maybe that will include deeper underwater.

NIGHTCRAWLER

Again, blue is awesome.  In my book, Nightcrawler - aka Kurt Wagner - is one of the awesome X-Men to grace the team.  His ability to teleport also happens to be one of the coolest.  He also has a tail!  So far the character has had two live action appearances.  In X-MEN 2, Alan Cumming played him, with Kodi Smit-McPhee taking over the younger incarnation of the character in X-MEN: APOCALYPSE.  He'll reprise the role next year for X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX.

NIGHTWING

Dick Grayson is best known to the general public as Robin, Batman's trusty sidekick.  In this guise, he's been given two 'modern' live action turns... Burt Ward in the 60s, and Chris O'Donnell in the 90s.  So, maybe not 'that' modern.  After stepping from Batman's shadow, Dick became his own hero... Nightwing.  So far no live action treatments - but that will change in the next few years as Nightwing will be getting his own movie.  Will he also appear in THE BATMAN?  Time will tell.

THE PENGUIN

Another villain? Yep, apparently so... another one of Batman's Rogue Gallery.  Oswald Cobblepot is one of the biggies too. Well, for a small short guy.  Played by Burgess Meredith in the 60s, with Danny DeVito taking the character to fishy levels in Tim Burton's BATMAN RETURNS.  Recently the character got a revamped take in GOTHAM, with Robin Lord Taylor becoming one of the show's highlights.

PHOENIX

The leading lady of the X-MEN, Jean Grey became a villain for a time as the Dark Phoenix.  But we all know the relationship ship that runs through the X-Men is Jean's and (Cyclops) Scott Summers.  Their offspring carrying something of a legacy.  Famke Janssen played Jean in the early X-MEN movies, but GAMES OF THRONES actress Sophie Turner recently took on the role and is set to take centre stage in 2018 in X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX.

PROFESSOR X

Charles Xavier is the founder of the X-Men and one of the most powerful mutants in the Marvel world.  (yep, another member of the illuminati).  James McAvoy plays the youngest version of the character, but back when the first X-MEN film was being made, I don't think there's anyone that can deny Patrick Stewart was the perfect casting choice - it's as if he was born for the role.  It's possible Charle's telepathic abilities might lead you vote for him.  Maybe.

PSYLOCKE

Another character from the X-Men comics (there's quite a few in this batch) and at different times she's been both hero and villain.  Betsy Braddock happens to be the sister of Brian Braddock (Captain Britain), and most recently appeared in X-MEN: APOCALYPSE as one of Apocalypse's four horsemen, played by Olivia Munn.

THE PUNISHER

Frank Castle is untrusted by both heroes and villains alike, He's a law unto himself.   He's had a number of live action turns... having been played by Dolph Lungren, Thomas Janes and Ray Stevenson.  Recently he appeared in the second series of DAREDEVIL, played by Jon Bernthal (from THE WALKING DEAD), and is due to get his own series later this year.

So there you are, your 16 options.  For the stat-fans of you out there, you can note this batch has 6 out-an-out villains, with another couple of 'suggested' villains - depending on your viewpoint.  It also has five characters from the X-Men! So far no X-Men character has made it to a final.  No villain has either.  Will Batch#4 turn the tide on that?   Let's find out! 

You have 3 days to vote in this first round, so get to twitter and get voting!