#beep beep likes comedy

[beepbeepdespair]

been watching taskmaster nz and i feel like theres a real difference in vibes between alex and paul. i mean that in a good way but like. alex is mischievous and bitchy, paul just looks so incredibly sad. looking at him feels like looking at a kicked puppy. every task feels like its the last wish of a tuberculosis-riddled victorian child. im not attracted to men in that way and yet there is something about him that makes me want to kiss him just because it might make him feel better

[catilinas]

go in the girard tag. in the girard tag? go in the girard tag

[beepbeepdespair]

thank you!!! :)

last song i listened to: by the way i listen to that lølø one a LOT it slaps you have great taste. um yeah mine isssss rule #8 otherside by fish in a birdcage

currently reading: haven't read anything that wasn't for uni in a while bc too tired but it was probably the first lockwood and co book. trying to do a reread

currently watching: nothing really coming to mind, been too busy, but i think death in paradise starts again tonight and ofmd s2 is on tv from tomorrow so that'll be keeping me busy (and emotionally devastated) for a while lmao (also again love your picks. my parents love silent witness i still need to get into it)

currently obsessed with: also bludnymph lmao. and knives. uh but yeah the magnus protocol and archives, scrapbooking, alt style, sirens and mermaids, maggie lindemann, dance and aerial arts

and now to tag the only person i have the confidence to tag lmao @stealerofthe2ndbraincell absolutely no pressure <33333

Get to know you game! Answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better.

Tagged by: @blinktimes182

Last song I listened to: LØLØ - u turn me on (but u give me depression)

Currently Reading: She Drives Me Crazy - Kelly Quindlen + also considering either starting the expanse series or rereading the witcher series

Currently Watching: Rewatching bbc ghosts and ghosts US (again), Taskmaster, Silent Witness and many other things

Currently Obsessed with: bludnymph, TENDER, The Witcher, queer graphic novels, knvies and lots of video games. Also probably loads of other things but my mind went blank🙃

no pressure tags: @capraclysm @reallyshychopshop09 @shaka6331 @beepbeepdespair @philbobb @phasesofamoonchild @kelsiexnicole @nellienugs @hyperay

[hanchette]

𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ( wind breaker characters )

a/n: THAT BOOGIE BOOGIE BAM BAM MAKES ME WANNA SCREEECHHH togame my beloved <333 ty for the chibi jo @/togament!!! MWUA

consists of : fluff, comedy, gender neutral reader, established relationship — windbre boys and tiktok dance

𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐉𝐎, “jo-chan! do some tiktok with me!” he'll have to take a bit of convincing to do it, togame likes it when you pester him actually, only you can pass his 'patience' test.

“eh? a dance?” he sniffs, a small contemplating pout present on his face as he takes a sip of his ramune. you took note of the flavour, it's blueberry. “please??” you looked up at him with a hopeful look.

“that depends, lemme see it first.” togame leans on you, pressing his chin on your shoulder, looking at your phone as you scroll through your socials in a hurry to show him.

hey boogie woogie bam bam!

a slow smile is on his face, “sure, but you gotta teach me how.” well, trying something won't hurt him. togame puts his drink down beside him, head still on your shoulder as he examines the video.

it didn't take long before your phone beeps into the rhythm, togame besides you as he moves his body like how you showed him to, a few sways and sticking the butt out at the end of verses. for a first timer, he sure is good with it. it makes sense since togame is good with his body too—fighting, of course.

let's go buddy buddy boom boom—!

you ate your own laughter, watching him through your phone as he wiggled his hips, butt sticking out to follow the steps you showed him. although the exaggerated movements makes him more dramatic. the glint of mischief evident in his gaze even with the tint of his sunglasses. he looks like a duck with his moves every time he swings his hip out.

“you're good!” you comment, smiling at him.

“hmm, one of us has to be.” he quipped, chuckling under his breath as he sends you a smug look. although it didn't matched the dance he's doing, sticking his butt out one last time. “if you say so!”

you fell into heaps of giggles.

𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐄, say less, ume is by your side and ready. he's not that unfamiliar with tiktok but he never did something that's about it.

“sure!” he's ready to go! just be patient with him and teach him how to do it.

ume is not used to dancing, his body is a tad stiff and it's obvious.

you try to be patient, showing him how to move, “this is easy-peasy, i thought it'll be hard!” he mentions, swaying his hips to the beat. but the way he swings his hip out, it looks stiff as hell.

hey boogie woogie bam bam!

“right?” you decide to grant him the mercy, swallowing your laugh, how could you when ume looks so bright and having so much fun? his lips are wide and his teeth are showing, the exact epitome of joy as he enjoys it.

“what other dance do you have?” he knocks his hip with yours, and you follow, knocking with his, one bump in particular sends you down on the floor, your panicked self reaching ume as you pull him down with you.

“woah!”

his lips are near yours but that's not what really matters, “you good?” he smiles in concern. you nod, the fall not really hurting as the two of you fall into bouts of laughter.

“we should probably start again.” ume says, nodding his head to gesture at the camera that is still rolling on. you nod, agreeing with him but your boyfriend didn't move, looking at you with his still easy smile, reaching, you looped your arms around his neck, pulling him to your level to press a kiss on his lips.

he's too irresistible, it's unfair. you can try again later, there's always time for it.

“alright.. maybe later.” he complies, mouthing words against your lips, his smile never fading.

𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐀 𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎, you shift on your position from laying on him to poking his side to catch his attention. you really want to see him dance with you.

sugishita peeked one eye at you, an apathetic look on his face despite you disturbing his sleep. if it were any other, he would've kicked them down to the floor already. “hey kyo-chan,” though there is no interest in his gaze, sugishita perked up at the mention of his nickname which only you can call him.

you showed him the video to which he raised a brow at you, still not lifting his head up. “can we dance this together?”

he's silent for a moment.

for a few.

sugishita closed his eyes once again. “kyo?” this was what you wanted? this is what disturbed his sleep??

he groaned in response, lifting his head up. he nods, sure, anything for you. though that is left unsaid.

one thing about sugishita is that he never half ass anything, he'd be damned if he does, plus, he's your boyfriend, of course he won't half ass anything.

what a sight it is, looking at the lanky man with you, swaying and dancing to the music that blasts through your phone, his movements in sync with yours and even with the slight frown on his face, he looks so cute!

“wow! kyo-chan you look so cute here!” you rambled, waving your phone and replaying the video again.

sugishita sighed through his nose, looking at your giddiness. well, it was worth it. his lips twitched, smiling softly as he looks at you.

yeah. it was.

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐊𝐀, he looks away from you, face scrunching up and a prominent blush on his face. his romance sensor going haywire. doing a dance with you..

sakura trailed off from his thoughts, remembering how the dance is. it's embarrassing and yet.. “that-!” he's hesitant, gulping down the saliva stuck in his throat.

“it's fine if you don't want to, haruka.” you don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to.

sakura didn't push any further, but you can see how his lip pursed even more. maybe he really doesn't want to, is what you thought, smiling at him in understanding.

a few days later, you entered his home, for you, it has become a second home and of course, your boyfriend didn't mind you coming in and go, so you closed the door, searching for him until you hear little tap tap tap on the wooden boards.

“hm?” you peeked through his room, seeing your boyfriend, his back on you.

he's dancing..

dancing?!

and the steps are familiar, his hips swaying from one side to another, hands swinging with each movement.

“boom boom..” you hear him muttering under his breath before he clicked his tongue when his hip didn't fall to the beat, ah, it was the tiktok you showed him before.

turns out, sweet sweet sakura is performing it, perfecting it.

“haruka?” you interrupted, a smile now on your lips.

“huh?!” caught in the act of dancing, your boyfriend turned red. you can say he was caught red-faced.

“t-this isn't what it l-looks like!!” sure it does.

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you? — matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead. TW for this chapter: mention of panic attack.)

taglist: @sleepysturniolo, @soshere, @spideylovin, @calisturniolo, @ilovecheese09, @ncm9696 , @klaus223492, @freshloveforthefit (thank you so much for the support, girls 💋)

author’s note: i’d like to say, this is by far the hardest chapter i’ve written. it was so intense and emotional but i hope you guys enjoy it. (feedbacks, comments and anything else are welcome, feel free to speak your mind) that’s it, see ya! chapter one here, chapter two here

chapter three.

after much thinking, you decided to go home and cool off, just the thought of making nick and chris uncomfortable because their brother was a dick make you blood boil.

you texted the group of you three telling them you had some stuff to do and needed to leave early, but that you’d see them soon.

chris was the first one to reply, you were still driving home when his message popped up but you didn’t want to be distracted, so you conclude it’s best to reply later.

as you passed by the tall buildings and palm trees of LA, your mind just went away with thoughts of matthew.

no guy looked at you that way before, sure, a few did hate you for past relationships and even because you always hold them accountable when they do shitty things.

but the coldness of matt’s eyes, there was so much hate, it was almost like he’s holding in something else.

jealousy? you think to yourself but shakes your head right away.

not a fucking chance.

all you know is that his attempts to hurt you didn’t and will not work in the future. the only thing bothering you is not being able to read him as much as you do to all the other guys. there’s a blockage and your curiosity to find out more was actually growing bigger now that he seemed way too angry about you flirting with chris.

finally, you get home, opening the door and throwing the keys on the couch. you go straight to bed, getting yourself comfortable on the between the sheets and buffing loudly. you hear another beep.

oh shit, chris. you thought grabbing your phone immediately, he didn’t reply on the group chat, but sent you a private message.

“did you go home because of what happened earlier?”

you frown, does he know about your argument with matt? fuck, that could not happen, things would get messy and really awkward.

but then another message popped up.

“sorry, i couldn’t control myself… you’re too tempting.”

you let out a huge sigh of relief, smiling at your phone and responding to him.

“trust me, it was very hard to leave after what you did, christopher. but there's indeed an emergency, don’t worry.”

you lied for the first time to chris and a sinking feeling weighed your heart, maybe one day you’d be able to tell him about what actually happened, but that’s not the right time yet.

“hahaha, i guess you should walk on me getting out of the shower more then. ;)”

you smile again, it was so adorable to see chris’ bold and confident side. it was also fucking hot.

“so i can win and make you blush again? pfft, that’d be boring.”

chris types for a while and then stops, then types again and you chuckled, he’s still the cute guy you knew.

“you’re lucky we weren’t in my room, the only reason why i didn’t bend you over that wall and fucked you right there was because one of my stupid brothers could catch us.”

you stare at the message for a couple seconds, the smile turning into an amused smirk. so this is the same guy who facetimes you until he can fall asleep after watching a horror movie?

an exciting feeling took over your whole body, but then you read the last sentence.

''one of my stupid brothers could catch us.”

you close your eyes and the image of matt stabbing you with his gaze is all over your head again.

this was starting to piss you off, you never really thought about matthew that much. he was just annoying and kind of there while you hangout with your best friends, but now? even flirting with someone else over text, you can’t help but think of him.

this is not over.

before you could respond chris, you dozed off.

your phone is suddenly buzzing, you open your eyes confused, the room was already pitch black and then you check the time, it’s 3AM.

“who the fuck is calling at 3AM?” you murmured to yourself but got your answer right away. ”matt?” you almost yell, getting up off the bed and staring at the contact calling.

what he could possibly want from you at 3AM? was he determined to annoy you this much? you roll your eyes and wait for it to go straight to voicemail, expecting him to give up, but then he actually sent you a voice message.

“hey…” his voice was shaken, breathless. and you frowned confused. “chris and nick are out for tonight and…” he stops again and you hear a sob. “i need to take my anxiety medication but i can’t get up. i hate to ask you this but… can you please help me?”

“i’ll be there in 10.”

you immediately text him without thinking twice, leaving your room and grabbing the keys on the couch.

on the way to the triplets house, your mind raced just as much as your heart. you forgot about the argument from this morning, all you wanted to do is get there before anything bad could happen.

after 15 minutes, you finally get there using your spare key to open the house. it was quiet, dark and you could hear low sobs and shaky breaths close to the living room wall. you rush to the cabinet, grabbing his pills and getting a cup of water, following the noise and soon finding matthew on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest, you bend over touching his shoulder and he grabs your hand abruptly, looking at you with a terrified expression. his eyes were swollen and moist, his lips were red from biting it hard and you could feel his whole grip shaking around your hand.

“do not touch me.” he yells but loses strength, leaning over the wall still holding your arm which makes you fall next to him. his eyes widened and he almost looked like he was about to apologise but then he glared at your hand holding his medication. “how did you know where it was?”

“nick.” you reply, and he stays quiet for a while. his grip still on your hand, but you didn’t even notice it. “he told me about what happened years ago…”

he remains quiet, just breathing heavily, his gaze focused on the ceiling of the living room, you also stayed quiet. the pain in his lost eyes made your heart ache, suddenly he loosened his grip and you watched him stretch his hand. you frowned and he rolled his eyes.

“the medication.” he says and you give to him, he takes the cup of water from your other hand and shug all of it after putting the pill into his mouth.

and that’s when shit happens.

you don’t know why, but you feel the urge to hug him. all these years of anger, annoyance and rudeness meant so much less when you just saw how much pain he was feeling. sure, nothing excuses his behaviour, but you imagined the way those kids treated him, the reason why he changed so much and why he refused to talk about it even with the people he trusted the most.

he was just a little kid, for god sake.

and so you do it.

you wrap your arms around him and he tries to push you away. “what the fuck are you doing?” he yells, and you hug him tighter.

“it’s not your fault, matt.” you whisper.

“what are you talking about? get off of me!” he still protested and you repeated again, this time a little louder.

“it’s not your fault. none of this is.”

and then he stops fighting against your hug, you hear loud sobs, his body shaking and his arms squeezing around your waist, he lets his head fall on your shoulder. your hand reaches his hair, gently caressing it and the other rubbing his back.

“i…” he tries to speak but all it came out was loud whimpers, and you hug him even tighter.

“i know…” you tell him quietly.

both of you stayed that way for a while, your arms and hands giving him warmth and comfort. he eventually calms down and when you feel him lift his head up loosening the hug, you look at him and he stares at you, a few tears still falling and you can’t help but wipe them with your fingers. the contact of you skin makes matt close his eyes, he puts a hand over yours and let a huge sigh out.

“why?” he asks, still with his eyes closed.

“what do you mean?” you tilt your head to the side, confused.

“why are you being nice to me when i'm nothing but a jerk to you all the time?” he opens his eyes and stares at you with an expression you’ve never seen before on his face.

you think for a second, biting your lips. matthew is staring at you intensely waiting for a response.

“i don’t know…” you confess. “i just don’t like to see you in pain, that’s all.”

“but why?” he questions you again, this time, he pressed your hand harder against his face.

“because i know how it feels.” you blurt it out without thinking and he doesn’t react, nodding his head quietly.

“fuck…” he finally speaks, avoiding your gaze for the first time that night. he huffs looking at you again, slowly getting closer, now you are inches from each other faces. “you’re the worst.” he mutters, shutting his eyes hard and keeping your palm against his cheek. he lets out another huff of breath and then speaks. “you make me feel... weird."

you grab his face with both hands and make him stare at your eyes, he was still crying.

“tell me how you feel, matt.” you whisper, at this point your chest was about to explode with strong heartbeats. “open your heart to me, i’m not gonna hurt you…” you continue, looking at his teary eyes. “i promise.”

matthew place both of his hand over yours and hesitates a little, you fingers gently rubbing his cheeks and he finally open his mouth to speak when you hear the front door opening.

“matt?” a yell makes both of you turn to the front door, chris and nick just arrived.

they stare at you on the ground and nick rushes over to see what’s happening, while chris is just staring at your hands on his brothers face and his over yours, feeling a mixture of jealousy and worry.

“the fuck happen to you?” nick asks, and you get away from matthew like you just woke up from a trance. you glance at chris by the front door and notice his weird expression, but decide to not think about it since a lot is happening at the moment.

“just had a panic attack.” he shrugs, getting up from the ground and looking at you. “she helped me, i’m okay.”

chris and nick turn to you with eyebrows raised, like they just heard the most absurd thing ever.

“now that i’m not needed anymore…” you pick up the keys from the counter and head to the door not wanting to explain things not even you understand, but chris grabs your arm, you could see his jaw clenched.

“you should’ve called us.” he’s still holding you, but staring at matt who seemed to be back at his usual nonchalant self again. “not her.”

“thought you said you guys were staying the night there. didn’t want to bother your little vacation.” you feel the grip on your arm getting tighter and that infuriates you.

“are you done?” you ask chris angrily and he finally looks at you, immediately letting your arm go. “that’s what i thought.”

you turn to nick waving goodbye, he mutters “i’ll text you later” and you leave without looking at chris or matt.

what the hell just happened?

it’s all you could think on the way home while your phone was blowing up with messages from chris.

[warpcoreweirdness]

i'm not unpacking the whole "freaks" thing in 'Much Ado About Boimler' because it's not trying to be that deep, but

gotta give credit to Lower Decks for the one second of screen time showing that Captain Pike's beep chair-ification is

a) the starting point of his journey post-accident, not the end

b) not a horrible fate worse than death where your life is not worth living or full of meaning and fruity little drinks.

like yeah it's played as comedy and the implications were probably an accident but somehow it still beats out Strange New Worlds on this front?? idk

(Image description in alt text)

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Movie night with oscar isaac characters of your choice. Who’s gonna grip you on jumpscares?

Now that's cool!

Movie night

Featuring: The moon boys, Miguel O'Hara, Nathan Bateman, Poe Dameron, Blue Jones, Santiago Garcia.

Nathan Bateman: Big flatscreen, check. Surround system, check. His androids with snacks, check. Fluffy pillows and snugly blankets, check.

Nathan definitely chooses science fiction, perhaps something about ai going rogue.

Smiles as if he just saw the funniest thing when you get scared or flinch.

Man will have a blast having you grip him for comfort. Definitely likes to tease you about it.

He most likely will jump during a jumpscare.

Poe Dameron: Goes for action or science fictions. Keeps BB-8 on your side if you need extra comfort. Wraps you up in his arms.

Incase of jumpscares, he will maybe flinch. When that happens BB-8 straight up throws giggling beeps at him, indicating he's laughing at poor Poe.

His grip around you occasionally tightens at intense scenes.

Sleeps like a baby happily after you had to comfort him after a scary scene. <3

Miguel O'Hara: He's mixed. Could go for anything you're in mood for. But prefers scary movies, he likes having you cling to him.

Man will not jump during jumpscares. Just sits there, completely chill with unimpressed expression. That was it? Lame...

Did you flinch? Aww, so cute seeing you like that! <3

Loves having you in his lap with a blanket wrapped around you. Could get cheeky and pretend to bite you.

Blue Jones: Man will go for horror movies, trust me. This lil shit absolutely loves seeing you get scared just so he can tease you.

He probably has seen the movie already so he knows the jumpscares, therefore won't jump.

Loves telling you when you get scared you have to walk through the Asylum at 3 AM. Just grins like shit at your reaction.

Jake Lockley: Would definitely choose thriller. But not without getting you hot chocolate so you're all set.

Gets excited everytime there's a shootout happening in the movie. Sometimes he can't help but chuckle.

Embraces you when you need it. Likes resting his chin or cheek on top of your head.

Will most likely dream of the movie with a happy smile on his face in his sleep. :)

Marc Spector: Definitely would choose John Wick, and if you're cool with it, you two will watch them all.

Snacks is a must have for the action they deliver. Takeout is probably his preferance. A nice pizza with alot of action.

Smiles everytime John gets his revenge and looooves the club scenes.

If he flinches during a jumpscare, he'd let out a "Oh fuck me!" swear under his breath and then nudges you with his elbow or playfully throws a pillow at you for laughing.

He will get you back for it!!! >:(

Steven Grant: Pillows! Alot of them! Your favorite snacks and a big blanket for cuddling. <3

He mainly chooses comedy or even action. If you however want horror, he's okay with it but please hold him.

During scary scenes there's the possibility of him squeezing you. Please comfort him. :(

He loves wrapping you up in his arms.

Occasional kisses here and there. <3

Doesn't even want to get up and tries to convince you to just sleep with him on the couch.

Santiago Garcia: He's chill with anything you want as long as it involves you, him, a cold one, blanket, pillows and food.

Prefers having you sprawled out on him so he can hold you nicely.

At jumpscares there's a good chance he might get scared but shakes it off quickly and grumbles when you laugh.

---------------------

Tags:

@nekoyin @iolaussharpe-24 @steven-grants-world @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @buckyssugarchick

@krakenkitty @autismsupermusicalassassin @silvernight-m @alexxavicry @mochiitoby

@faretheeoscar @tokkiwrites

Wanna get tagged?

[rayclubs]

HxH Genei Ryodan is such a masterclass in humanizing villains, honestly to a ridiculous degree. They're legitimately terrifying, their crimes are cruel and inexcusable, the violent acts they commit are nearly always played seriously and condemned by the narrative, and yet I find myself rooting for them in every scene they're in.

It's not even the sad backstories some of them have, it's much deeper than that. I think I'm just fascinated with the intricate and peculiar friendship they all share. It's easier to get attached to comedy rather than drama, as a rule of thumb, and they're just endlessly funny.

I've been searching for examples of the interactions that stuck with me and was going to include screenshots but there are just way too many things. Like, okay, in no particular order:

Shizuku wearing Phinks' coat after her sweater gets torn in a fight.

Phinks tucking Kalluto under his arm like a chicken and carrying him out of an exploding building.

Nobunaga getting trapped in a pocket dimension and everybody agreeing that he should just stay there awhile because they've just taken a hostage and now there isn't enough space in the car.

Machi and Nobunaga hanging out like normal people, drinking beer and serving cunt effortlessly in stylistically matching outfits.

Kuroro getting a prediction that "the spider will lose half of its legs" and immediately going "nope not losing any of my men out there let's pack it"

Hisoka actually fucking saying "I can't tell you that. If I told you that, I would be telling you what I can't tell you. This is why I can't tell you that. That's all I can tell you." and they believed him. Maybe it's more normal with English subs, I dunno.

Everyone playing cards while Uvogin is fighting, all while talking about how good Uvogin is at fighting.

Uvogin giving Shalnark a little kissie. I don't even ship them, I think he just kisses all of his homies like a real man.

Franklin getting sent after a crate of beer. Like, that's just so funny to me. Errand boy.

Feitan and Shalnark calling Phinks "very feminine" and giggling.

Franklin and Nobunaga just fucking going at it, sword on gun violence, for no reason whatsoever. It seemed like they were having fun.

Nobunaga asking rhetorically how strong he is compared to the rest of the gang and them replying "7th or 8th idk" you fucking know they debated this.

Uvogin getting his dumb sexy ass captured and everyone showing up for him awww

Everyone being supportive of Shizuku being fucking stupid. Not even in a sweet way or anything, just kind of acknowledging that she has zero thoughts in her brain. "Shizuku why didn't you use your left hand" because she was spinning a vacuum cleaner in her mind, what's not clicking

Dunno what they call Kurapika in the English version but in the Russian subs they all collectively only ever refer to him as "ублюдок с цепями" or "the asshole with the chains".

Nobunaga immediately inviting two twelve-year-olds to join because he thinks they're hilarious, and everyone going "yeah okay as long as the boss is cool with it". You go Nobunaga, everybody grieves differently

The kids refuse and escape, go spying on the other members again, get caught again, and when Nobunaga sees them he's all "Wanna be friends now? ^^" <- nobody has anything against this

Feitan having his arm broken in a fight and Phinks going "HA!"

Literally every single time they toss a coin, but especially when Phinks and Bonolenov were arguing over who should fight Zazan if Feitan fucking dies???

Shalnark being a fucking gamer and inviting everyone else to speedrun Greed Island with him. Franklin going "no thanks" next shot he's in the goddamn game

Tossing the phone around. Can't remember whose phone it originally was but passing it around was hilarious every time. "We already killed the hostages" beep beep beep "Sorry I lied"

There are so many moments and I'm not even halfway done. Supreme quality villains. I need more of them. I need to inject them directly into my brain.

[beepbeepdespair]

im late this has probably been done already

[crystalsoobin]

burnt toast! ➤ c. beomgyu

#. pairing bf!beomgyu x reader

#. synopsis gyu tries to cook you breakfast in bed and fails… miserably.

#. genre romance, comedy, fluff

#. warnings mild swearing, gyu almost causing a fire 😃

#. author’s note i’m back??? im taking a creative writing class in uni this fall so i thought id get some practice in lol

a small smile lays across beomgyu’s face as he admires your sleeping frame one fine morning. he had woken up quite early that day, eager to surprise you with breakfast in bed.

he gets up silently as to not wake you, and makes his way to your small apartment kitchen. not sure what to make, beomgyu opens the fridge and stares inside as if the idea would just present itself in front of him.

he finally settles on making eggs and toast, an oldie but a goodie. only problem was, beomgyu never cooks.

it can’t be that hard to fry an egg, right?

at least he knows how to toast bread, so he starts there first. grabbing some bread from the pantry, he walks to the toaster where he suddenly stops, a little confused on how to work it.

shade?? hmm, i think 8 is good.

he drops two pieces of toast in the slots and pulls down the lever, stepping back to the fridge to pull out some eggs. he grabs a pan and puts some oil on, maybe a little too much oil.

beomgyu cracks the two eggs, one by one. satisfied, he puts it on high heat so that — in his mind — it’ll cook faster and he won’t have to wait too long.

he then reaches over to the cabinet and pulls out your favourite mug, which was a gift from him. then going over to the coffee maker, listening to the loud crackle of the eggs on the pan.

when he’s done making the coffee he turns around to find the toaster smoking, and a nasty burning smell coming from it. in panic, he runs over to it and tries to take out the toast, almost burning his fingers.

“dammit!” he exclaims, disappointed by the burnt toast and realizing 8 was way too high. he finally succeeds in pulling out the burnt toast, the smell remaining throughout the kitchen.

as he returns to check on the eggs, his eyes widen, also finding them burnt and smoking, a lot. he panics, trying to blow away the smoke with his hands as to not set off the fire alarm. in his panic, he obviously forgets to turn off the heat, making it worse for himself.

and as if the morning couldn’t possibly go more horribly wrong than he imagined, the fire alarm does in fact go off.

“no no no! fuck!” is the first thing you hear as you walk into the kitchen after being woken up by a loud beeping noise and your boyfriend not in bed.

you watch as beomgyu finally remembers to turn off the stove, sighing disappointedly with his face in his hands as his back towards you.

“what. the fuck. did you do.” you finally speak. beomgyu yelps and turns around, surprised at your presence in the kitchen.

“i- i didn’t mean to baby, i swear! i was just trying to make you breakfast!”

“gyu, i really appreciate the sentiment but you know you can’t cook!”

“i know, i’m sorry,” your boyfriend leans into you for a hug, saddened that he couldn’t surprise you with a nice breakfast, “i thought i’d at least be able to make eggs and toast.” you wrap your arms around him and give him a small kiss, suddenly you bursting out into laughter as you look around at the mess your poor boyfriend made.

“why are you laughing?” he asks. “i actually wanted to surprise you, im serious.” he pouts.

“i’m sorry,” you chuckle, “it’s just so funny when i think about it.”

beomgyu hits you playfully on the head as he steps back and stares at his mess.

“hey, at least i made the coffee right?” he handed you the mug. you grimaced as you tasted it.

“i think you forgot milk, and sugar.” setting down the mug, you get an idea, “you know what, why don’t we clean this up and the i teach you how to cook eggs and toast.” you smile.

beomgyu chuckles in agreement, “sounds like a good idea.”

© crystalsoobin / do not steal

[imaginethesepages]

say my name.

What do you mean you don’t know when she’ll wake up?

Captain, please, the impact on her head when she fell from the attack did a damage to her skull, leading to her current state. There is nothing much we can do but wait.

Huh? What— what’s going on? What are they talking about, and is that… Captain Narumi?

Nothing? No. We have the best facilities and the best equipment. What do you mean there’s nothing we can do!?

Captain Narumi, stop! Let go of the doctor now!

Master Moron, you need to calm down.

Wait— what is going on? Nothing is making sense.

I’m sorry, captain. We did our best; it’s all up to her now.

Every day, I hear them come and go, the soft clicks of a door closing, the tiny creaking noise of a dragging chair, and the constant beeps copying the rhythm of my heart. Sometimes, I can sense the cold wind on my skin or calloused fingers brushing my cheeks and grazing my hand. But I’m not too sure.

Everything is reverberated with dullness, like how I can hear the voices but never make out the words. It’s all muted and unclear.

How long will you keep sleeping? You’re worrying everyone, you know.

I don’t know, I want to say. I’m trying — really, I am. But everything is so heavy, like my muscles are too lazy to function, and every fiber is on a strike, not wanting to do its obligations.

You need to wake up, you hear me. You promised to follow me into battle, to have my back as I have yours. I’m holding you to that promise.

I remember. I did promise him that. 

My finger twitches, and I hear a gasp. Already, moving a single finger feels like lifting an enormous boulder with my entire being only an inch off the ground. But the same calloused fingers grab my hand, warm and encouraging — cheering me to push forward and out of the abyss.

You need to wake up. Who else would pull me away from my games if not for you? Who else would control my impulsive buying? Who else would I listen to? 

Ah, he’s right. Who knows what may happen if I leave the captain alone? He’d probably make Hasegawa-san want to pull out his hair — and that’s saying something when he’s already bald.

I chuckle. It probably sounded like a concerning wheeze. But it doesn’t matter, for all I can think of as I forced my eyes open is, “I cannot let Captain Narumi down.”

And what a sight for sore eyes he truly is.

How bad were my injuries? Did you really try to hurt the doctors who took care of me?

Can I still fight? Will you still let me stand beside you?

Did we succeed with the mission? What else did I miss?

Have you set the First Division up in flames yet? I pray and hope not.

How long have you been waiting, captain? Did I make you wait long?

I’m sorry for worrying you. Though, I can’t promise I won’t do it again.

I want to say so much and ask so many. But all that comes out is…

“He-hey, Gen.”

jeuel, did you just write a 500+ word drabble? well, yes. yes, i did. and let me tell you, it shocked me as well.

if you're new to my inconsistent and random drabble posting, i normally write for whatever fandom i feel like with whatever concept i can think of — mostly angst, not much on comedy. and usually, they only end up within 100 — 300 words, never 500!!

so this, for me, is a monster drabble 🤯

idk what happened, i just kept writing. and when i was editing it, i just couldn't keep it within my preferred word count range. when i took some paragraphs out, they didn't make sense without them. so, i just said, "screw it!! leave it like that."

anyway, enjoy xx

[whereserpentswalk]

It’s fascinating that you think trans people’s names come to them like wands in Harry Potter, you can’t just culturally appropriate bc you’re trans

Ok, this is about comments I made like a year ago on a comedy bit. While I stand by my feelings that the bit was bad and transphobic, my reasons why are a lot diffrent.

When I first wrote the comments my arguments were very thermian. I treated the story the comic was telling as if it was real and objective. Which feels right for most people, because stand up comedy is often presented like conversation, where we do treat stories like that as real things. But that's not how comedy works, comedians don't tell stories the way we do in conversation, they're creatives, the stories they tell are basically fictional, the art form might look like real conversations but it's not.

Comedians want to make you laugh, and sometimes want to send a message or make you think about things in a new way, but they have no reason to want to portray events accurately. They might be basing some things off of real experiences, but that's true for everyone, Tolkien might have chosen to explore his experience in world war one in lord of things, that doesn't mean we have to argue about orcs as if they're real entities when we're talking about if those books were racist.

So let's actually look at the skit, and analyze its outlook on trans people keeping in mind its a story that a cis man is telling, and not actual events: So the summery of the skit is that a white trans man comes out to his to his family, and he picked a name you'd expect a black person to have. He has older black relatives (who are implied to fully accept him, which would make him possibly the only trans person on earth with a fully accepting family) who refuse to use this name, and instead call him "the boy". The sketch ends with the comedian saying he should pick a name like Kevin, because even if he's trans he's not interesting (keep your thoughts on that last one).

Now, ignoring how this would play out in real life, what does this as a peice of fiction say about trans people:

First off: it's creating a plausible but unlikely situation where the woke thing to do is to not respect a trans person's identity. A lot of political humor exists to call ideas into question with hypotheticals, and the idea being questioned here is the idea that trans people's identities deserve respect.

Second off: it's creating a situation where a trans person is entitled and arogent for wanting his identity respected. In the fiction this trans person is that. But it's promoting the idea that they are in real life. Transphobes will show you a lot of spooky examples of trans identities that are unreasonable to respect, but that's not useally ever what it's like in real life. (An otherkin robotgirl isn't going to demand you communicate with her through beeps and boops, she probably just wants you not to laugh at her.)

Third off: it's pitting minorities agaisnt eachother. Conservatives love this, but it's super common when people try to convince progressives to a specific group from their advocacy. It shows us a world where trans rights and poc rights are at odds with eachother, in the real world they aren't, in the real world they're part of one larger struggle and diminishing one is diminishing the other. A lot of people do this with different identities, lgb types do it with gayness, terfs do it with womanhood, class reductionists do it with class, trscum do it between trans people. But it doesn't help one oppressed group when you shit on a diffrent oppressed group in their name. It's white conservatives who love it the most when trans people and poc at pit agaisnt eachother, and it's trans poc who suffer the most.

Fourth off: it's feeds into a very old myth amoung queerphobic progressives, which is the idea that queer people are privileged people looking to pose as the marginalized to get special rights. This is a myth we really have to get over, because its been internalized by a lot of people, and we get these hunts for fake minorities. This is why the "you're not interesting" line sticks out to me. Most trans people don't give themselves appropriative names, but trans people as a group constantly get accused of trying to steal other people's struggles. This is a myth that preys on the fact that white skined white colar queer people are more visible, and its one that is based on treating that disparity in visibility as a fact. We have to cut this out, nobody fakes minority status to get privileges because minorities aren't privileged. It's not true for queer people, even the queer people other queer people hate like bi people and ace people. It's not true about mentally ill and ND people, or converts to non Christian religions, or East Asian people, or anyone who gets accused of this. Stop it dearly.

Fifth off: this entire sketch is based in the idea that families can accept their trans kids, but only conditionally, only if they prove themselves to be doing it for the right reasons, and they please their family's whims. This is a transphobic idea, it's a transphobic idea most neolibs hold. Comedy bits are a lot like story books (no shade at either) where a problem is presented at the beginning, and a solution at the end, that the audience is expected to take for their own problems. And the solution here is a form of transphobia, the idea that trans people aren't owned acceptance, they need to earn it. I've seen a lot of trans people tormented by their families over that idea. And when a person of color goes and stage and wraps that idea in racial justice, it's young trans poc who get hurt by it the most.

Sixth off: not a huge point, but I feel like a cis black man, of all cis people, should be the most likely to understand that calling a trans man a boy is dehumanizing and insulting. I guess this goes to show he's not interested in thinking about how trans people's struggles are like his, he stands alongside a lot of marginalized trans people there.

Finally I kind of don't know how to end this. This is long. Really long. I don't know whose going to read this, because its a lot. Hopefully you got a bit of media literacy from reading all of this. Early on in my tumblr career, when I had just moved from Brooklyn to Manhattan, I had read an essay by @wifelinkmtg about a concept called the ditch. The idea was we often argue about media wrong, talking about things in hyper literal cannon obsessed terms, and that was the ditch, the ditch we dig for ourselves when we ignore things like themes and audience experiences. Hopefully this series of words dug less of a ditch than my words did a year ago. Sorry I don't have the actual sketch on hand. Mabye I'm wrong, but if someone wants to prove me wrong I'd rather they do it outside of a ditch. Mabye the ask wasn't even about that post. Mabye I'm tired. Maybe you should be tired too.

Sorry for the long post. Media literacy matters. Black trans lives matter. Goodbye, enjoy your night well.

[shintin]

The Wacky Widow's Woes

↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Comedy one-shot

Summary: In a twist of fate, the most obnoxious person on Earth, Gojo Satoru, appeared by your hospital bed. Clearly, the universe had a wicked sense of humor.

Word count: 5k.

Genre: comedy, fluff, yapping (Jujutsu Kaisen au).

Warnings/Tags: humor, no angst, whipped Satoru Gojo, bitchy reader, a lot of jokes about chapter 236 of the JJK manga (my personal healing process), mention of Kitkat, prepare for Gojo's nauseating love for his wife, who's probably sick of him.

Notes: I hope you laugh your ass off while reading this.

You can read my fics on AO3. If you have any questions, don’t be shy and ASK.

On a very, very, very dull autumn afternoon, we find ourselves in a hospital room where its fancy ass curtains are just letting in enough sunlight to cast a gloomy, eerie glow.

There, on the bed, lies a woman who seems to have become one with the medical equipment—or, better to say, a high-tech octopus. Wires and tubes sprout from her body like overgrown vines, connecting her to an orchestra of beeping machines. It's like a twisted version of a modern art installation, where chaos and order collide in a symphony of medical mayhem.

The woman, blissfully oblivious to the cacophony surrounding her, snores away, blissfully lost in dreamland. It's almost comical how she manages to find solace amidst the tangled wires and the chorus of beeps. One might wonder if she's dreaming of a magical place where the cables turn into candy canes and the machines play cheerful tunes instead of somber heartbeats.

The lighting in the room sucks, perhaps to match the mood or new architectural ambiance design. For fuck's sake, who knows! Shadows dance across the walls, conspiring with the flickering fluorescent lights to create an atmosphere that's equal parts unsettling and strangely fascinating.

As if to bring a touch of irony to the scene, a sad excuse for a vase sits on a nearby table, barely holding onto life. Its wilted flowers, once vibrant and alive, now resemble a bouquet of autumn hues gone horribly wrong. It's a symbolic reminder that beauty is fleeting, just like the woman's health, and that even in the darkness, there's a twisted kind of beauty to be found.

The room carries the unmistakable scent of sterile cleanliness, mingled with a hint of despair. It's the kind of smell that makes you want to open a window and let in some fresh air (read jump out), but alas, in this hospital room, fresh air seems like a distant memory.

Well, hold on to your hospital gown because here's a plot twist for you! Picture this: you've been envisioning this serene hospital room, reading it in all its autumnal glory, and guess what? The woman lying on that bed, surrounded by beeping machines and tubes, is none other than... drumroll... you!

Yep, you're the star of the show, ready to wake up and face your second stroke. But hey, don't worry, it's not going to be as boring as your room décor. No, no, life has decided to throw you a curveball and add a dash of excitement to your hospital stay. Who needs a peaceful recovery when you can have a stroke sequel, right?

So get ready to jolt awake and embrace the chaos! Remember, even in between unexpected events, a good sense of humor can be the best medicine. Laughter might not cure your condition, but it can certainly make the hospital experience a little more bearable. So, chin up, brave stroke survivor! Your story is about to take an exciting turn!

Well, well, well.

As you wake up from your beauty sleep, feeling as if you've been smooching a cactus all night, the machines around you decide to unleash their inner DJs with a symphony of beeps. How thoughtful of them to create an auditory masterpiece that grates on your nerves like a tone-deaf choir. Ah, music to your ears, right?

But fear not, the brave warrior of hydration! You are on a noble quest to conquer the desert that has taken residence in your mouth. Summoning every ounce of strength (and probably some residual grumpiness), you muster the strength to ascend from your pillow fortress. With your hand gracefully reaching out for that tempting glass of water, victory feels within reach.

Your hand hovers mid-air as if suspended by an invisible force, frozen in a moment of pure disbelief. Just when you think the universe couldn't possibly play a more mischievous trick on you, there he was—sitting on the couch like he owns the place—the one person you would rather avoid more than a clown with a pie in hand. Seriously, is this some cosmic prank show?

Your eyes widen in disbelief, your heart skips a beat, and you can't help but let out a little groan. It's like the universe is trying to test your resilience, throwing you into this hilariously uncomfortable situation. Oh, the irony!

You: Hell no! What the fuck are you doing here?

Right in front of your very eyes sits the epitome of style and charm—a man sporting a white shirt and black pants combo that would weaken fashion gurus at the knees. No sunglasses dare cross the path of this confident fellow, for his piercing ocean-blue eyes need no protection from the sun's feeble attempts to outshine them.

But wait, there's more! Let's not forget about his head adorned with fluffy white hair that could rival the fluffiest clouds. Ugh!

Satoru: Hello to you too, love!

He strikes a pose that screams, "I'm the king of this couch!" With one leg casually crossed over the other and his arms spread wide on the back of the couch, he's claiming his throne in the most nonchalant and hilarious way possible.

Satoru: Is this how you greet your beloved husband?

You: Fuck off!

With the speed of a ninja on a caffeine high, you swiftly pull the blanket up to your chest, fully aware that the hospital gowns offer about as much coverage as a single sheet of tissue paper. Yes, those flimsy garments are the Victoria's Secret of the medical world—barely there and leaving little to the imagination! And just when you thought the situation couldn't get any more entertaining, you catch a glimpse of his famous smile. Asshole! Is he peeping on you?

Satoru: Aha! The feisty spirit lives on! Missed your sassy attitude.

He grins like a mischievous little rascal who just stumbled upon a secret stash of dad jokes, except it's a porn website!

Satoru: And, of course, your perked-up nipples!

Summoning your inner grumpy penguin, you dramatically cross your arms over your chest, shooting him a glare that could make a grizzly bear retreat in fear.

You: well, Mr. White-Haired Head with a stinky smirk and eyes bluer than a bottle of Windex, I didn't miss you AT ALL!

Satoru: Why, oh why, did you dye your hair white if you claim not to miss me, baby? Is it some secret signal to the hair gods that you're ready to experience the adventure of life without my captivating presence? Or perhaps it's your way of channeling the wisdom of Gandalf and Dumbledore, hoping that your newly snowy locks will grant you magical powers to forget all about me?

You: Hold your horses, chatterbox! My hair has turned snowy white without any meddling from me. No, I didn't secretly sprinkle it with magic hair dye while cackling like a mischievous sorcerer, you idiot!

Satoru: Whoopsie daisy! You've got a point there. Did I accidentally step on your delicate feelings, wise and experienced grandma?

In a grand display of determination, you muster every ounce of strength to grab the pillow behind your back, preparing to launch it at him. Alas, it seems the strength of a thousand paperclips has possessed your hands, rendering them feeble and incapable of fulfilling your pillow-throwing dreams. The valiant effort leaves you gasping for air as if you have just completed a marathon of pillow-tossing.

Satoru: Yowai mo!

He erupts into laughter, showcasing his undeniable talent as a professional tease.

You: Cut the crapola! Spill the beans! What on earth has brought you to this neck of the woods?

With your firm tone that could rival a drill sergeant's, the machine begins beeping faster than a sugar-rushed hummingbird on roller skates. It's as if the beeps are making their best impression of a hyperactive jazz band, matching the frantic tempo of your skyrocketing heart rates.

Satoru: I'll be rolling on the floor in laughter if you drop dead from the sheer intensity of your anger, Granny. Let's be real; finding inner peace is way more beneficial for you in the long run. Just saying!

You: Satoru!

Satoru: Yep, that's me. Breaking hearts and taking names. Can't a poor soul like me simply pay a visit to my dear wife on her deathbed?

You: Hell to the no! You can't just waltz in our life whenever you please! Sorry, but you lost that VIP visiting privilege when you—

Satoru: Oh, and on that note, could that charming chick who graced you with her presence earlier be our beloved daughter?

You sigh, exasperated, and gently rub your forehead as if trying to coax that headache into submission. Ah, the joys of a headache that seems set on conquering you before any actual sickness does. With a dramatic sweep of your hand across your face, you channel your inner drama queen and then grab your neck.

You: Oh, please, for the love of all that is awkward, just tell me that you didn't try to work your "smooth moves" on her.

Satoru: I was this close to making a move, you know? She's like a spitting image of when I was head over heels for you! It's like you've managed to clone yourself or something. Should I be worried? Did you secretly stash away all my precious genes and hoard them for your own amusement? Well, I guess I can't blame you for wanting to keep all those sperms to yourself! But seriously, she doesn't look like me at all. I am hurt!

He pouts like a baby, forever stuck in his eternal state of immaturity, but you aren't about to let that deter you. With an air of defiance, you casually lean against the hospital bed board, gazing intently at the serum making its grand entrance into your veins. Oh, and that obnoxious machine chiming away? You can't help but wish it could just shut up.

You: It's actually better for her, you know. At least she doesn't have anything that serves as a constant reminder of her absent father, who couldn't even be bothered to be present during her birth!

Your words are like a sarcasm waterfall, cascading with vicious wit. You've mastered the art of tongue-in-cheek remarks, and while you're fully aware of their potency, you couldn't care less. It's like you've got a license to sass, and you're not afraid to use it, even if it makes the world say, "Well, ain't you a delightful ray of sunshine!"

Satoru: Let's not paint the picture as if I had some glamorous options! Nope, I was bestowed with the honor of being the designated problem-solver, the one expected to handle it all while gracefully tiptoeing through—

You: Oh, pretty please! If it's not too much trouble, continue your reign as the honored one through heaven and earth, while sparing me from any additional bouts of annoyance. I must say, it's quite the talent you possess—being both honored and a master of irritation. Quite the balancing act, I must admit!

As you clench the blanket in desperation, that rebellious needle gleefully plunges itself into your hand. Fuck unexpected pain! And there, decorating your arm like a chilling masterpiece, are the bruises—trophy marks from your encounters with the needle army. Who knew injections could become an avant-garde art form? With tears welling up and the air growing thinner, it feels like the room is leaving you gasping for breath just to have a twisted sort of fun. Bravo, universe, for your fucked up sense of humor! A standing ovation for this macabre spectacle.

Satoru: Love?

You: …

Satoru: Baby?

You: …

Satoru: My Wondrous Whipped Cream Warrior, the Caramel Crusader, the Sprinkle Spritzer, the Marshmallow Maestro, the Treat Tornado, the Sugar Rush Superstar, the Jelly-filled Joy Bringer, and the Sweetness Sorceress who turns my world into a Never-ending Dessert Buffet! The Honeyed Pussy of—

You: WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT, SATORU?

You are wheezing like a chain-smoking asthmatic, desperately gasping for air, and his attitude is about as helpful as a wet matchstick. You and the mysteries of poor life choices! What possessed you, in that twisted moment of madness, to willingly plunge into the depths of infatuation with him? It's a dark, twisted enigma that not even the Grim Reaper could decipher.

Satoru: Are you still mad?

As you tilt your head, there he is, looking at you with those big, blue eyes, like a lost poppy desperately trying to win the "Most Heart-Melting Flower" award. What a sneaky trickster! He knows exactly what he is doing, employing his secret weapon of irresistible gazes, and darn it; it works like a charm! You can't resist the powers of those eyes, and you reluctantly surrender, cursing his effective tactics while secretly admiring his diabolical brilliance. Well played, Mr. Blue-Eyed Mother Fucker, well played.

You: I never stopped being mad at you!

Satoru: Fair, but you have to know that—

You: Spare me the creative excuses, please! You pulled off the greatest magic trick of all—knocking me up—and then poof! You disappeared into thin air, leaving me with a growing belly and a bewildered expression. Good job, Houdini!

Satoru: You're welcome, baby. But you've got to cut me some slack here! My job description practically has "Accident Enthusiast" written all over it. It's not like I wake up in the morning, rubbing my hands together, thinking, "Oh boy, I can't wait for another mishap!" So, let's blame it on my occupational hazard, shall we?

You: Oh, well, then, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence again! You chose to go down that path because, of course, you believed you were the one and only capable being in the universe. And oh, how lucky we are that you decided to leave me and our daughter behind. It's truly heartwarming to see you saunter back into our lives after years like it's just another casual stroll in the park. I mean, who needs a father figure during precious moments like birth, first words, and first steps, right? Clearly, you had more important things to attend to. Our daughter has grown up and gone through school, and I've had the pleasure of explaining why her dad couldn't be bothered to pick her up like those "normal" dads. Graduation, dating, first job—she did it all without you, and we couldn't be more grateful for your consistent absence. Now you have the audacity to—

You start coughing, and each painful gasp feels like your lungs are being ruthlessly ripped apart, leaving behind crimson stains on your once immaculate sheets and hands. And there he stands, towering tall, as handsome as the day he first stole your heart. It's just not fair that he still looks so good while sickness has mercilessly drained the life from your weary soul. He approaches you, the lingering scent of vanilla clinging to him, a bittersweet reminder of what you once cherished but now resentfully long for.

Satoru: Take a sip of water. Do you want me to help you?

Oh, he's all worried now, isn't he? But honestly, after enduring all that post-him misery, you're not about to let him off the hook just because he's offering a glass of water. Come on, you might be a little dumb, but you're not "drink-water-and-forget-all-the-pain" dumb! Nice try, buddy, but you'll need more than H2O to wash away the mess you left behind.

You: I DON'T NEED YOUR GODDAMN HELP! How about you kindly take a flying leap back to wherever you've been hiding all this time? I'm sure you've perfected your disappearing act by now. And don't forget to leave behind a trail of glittering resentment as you go, just to keep things spicy. Ta-ta, farewell, and may you step on a thousand Lego bricks on your way out!

Satoru: Listen up, partner in crime! I've had enough of leaving you to your own devices. It's been tough for me, too, and I sincerely apologize for piling on the hardship. But I learned my lesson! Starting right this very moment, I'm making a solemn vow never to ditch you again. Consider me your loyal sidekick, ready to tackle life's challenges together, even if it means enduring endless reruns of your favorite TV show or subjecting myself to your cooking experiments. We're in this for the long haul, love!

You use the sleeve of your flimsy, ridiculous gown to clumsily wipe away the blood from your mouth, all the while shooting him a perplexed look. Seriously, how on earth does he still manage to gaze at you with those doe eyes, all lovey-dovey, when you're rocking the vampire-on-a-sunlit-day aesthetic?

You: So, you decided to grace me with your presence just because I'm sick?

Satoru: Yes.

You: I see how it is! You're not here because you missed me, huh?

Satoru: Uh-oh, am I about to witness another round of your infamous anger? But hey, before you explode like a volcano, let me enlighten you that I didn't write the rulebook on how things work. Nope, not my area of expertise. Turns out, the universe didn't consult me when setting up the whole system. It seems they left me out of the committee meeting where they decided the rules of life. Classic!

You: Does it hurt?

Satoru: It hurt me badly because I snapped in half like a Kit-Kat bar. And no, there wasn't a delicious wafer filling in between, just pure pain and emotional wreckage.

You: Come on, Satoru! This is not the time for your quirky sense of humor. I mean, seriously, I saw your guts out in the open, and to top it off, ants decided to take a leisurely hike on them.

Satoru: TV producers really went all out with the graphic details, huh? Sure, I appreciate high-definition viewing, but did they need a close-up of my stuff? Talk about taking reality TV to a whole new level! I hope they provided a warning. Note to self: avoid snacking while watching shows that involve anatomical explorations!

You: SATORU!

Satoru: Alright, alright, no need to get serious! Can't a man crack a joke about his own death around here? Fine, I'll hold your hand during the whole thing. You know, I once spouted that cliché line about dying alone, but let's face it, that was a load of nonsense. Nobody goes down that final road solo. It's like a grand exit party!

You: Oh, really? So, you had some company, huh? Well, you know what they say: ignorance is bliss. I don't need the details, and my imagination can take a wild ride all on its own

Satoru: Jealousy looks good on you, love.

As he bends closer, his breath tickles your lips, making you wonder if he had onions for lunch. With a dramatic flourish, he grabs your chin as if auditioning for a cheesy romance movie. And then, like a vacuum cleaner on turbo mode, he plants a kiss that sucks the air right out of your lungs. It's like indulging in a dessert buffet filled with marshmallows, caramel, and insulin shots. Who needs a thrill ride at an amusement park when you can experience a sugar rush of epic proportions? You may be risking diabetes, but hey, at least you'll be leaving this world with a sweet tooth satisfied and an unforgettable, albeit comical, memory of that last smooch.

Unfortunately, after what feels like a fleeting eternity, he decides to break the kiss. As your eyes meet, you can't help but sneak a glance downwards, wondering if his pants harbored any surprises. Alas, it appears that either he's a master of disguise or ghosts have taught him their spectacular talent for concealment. Sneaky whores!

Satoru: Are you ready to go?

Oh, snap! Once the horniness fades away, reality hits you like a ton of bricks. Holy shit! How did you manage to forget about your daughter? Leaving her behind is definitely not the best parenting move. Time to snap back into responsible mode and give that little one the attention she deserves. Parenthood: where forgetfulness meets a reality check!

You: Will she be okay?

Satoru: She's our little munchkin. She'll be alright.

You: I want to see her for the last time.

Satoru: You can see her whenever you want.

You: WHAT?

He scratches his head, messing up his undercut, desperately trying to dodge eye contact like a game of social hide-and-seek.

Satoru: Ops! Did I just spill the beans on one of the perks of the afterlife? My bad! My master plan was to witness that priceless guilty expression on your face when we reached the pearly gates. Imagine your shock when you realized you blamed me for no reason, only to discover I had a front-row seat to all your shenanigans during all those years! Oh, the things I've seen! I know how many times you've touched yourself thinking about me! No judging, though! And yes, I know you secretly fumed when our little bundle of joy uttered "Dada" before "Mama." Don't worry, I won't tell a soul... except, you know, all the other souls up there. It's the ultimate celestial gossip!

You: WHAT? YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU ASKED IF SHE'S OUR DAUGHTER?

Satoru: First, just to tickle your pickle. Second, as I cunningly planned.

You: You're still a brat!

Satoru: And you're still as beautiful as the day I lost you.

You: Smooth words, my friend, but let's not kid ourselves. I won't buy into any deceit. I'm old, wrinkled, and sick. Time and disease are killing me, just as you hated. Meanwhile, you continue to flaunt that glorious chiseled chest and those rock-hard butt cheeks.

Satoru: Thank you, ma'am, for keeping my ass in your thoughts. Speaking of which, I must confess I've made some boneheaded decisions along the way. Opting for death in the name of someone else can seem like a breeze compared to the complexity of choosing to live for them. So, kudos to you for being the badass who faced life's challenges to honor my memory.

You: I hope this is not just a dream.

Satoru: We can give it a try and see for ourselves.

As Satoru reaches out his hand, something extraordinary unfolds—the machine starts beeping. You look at the device, noticing that the time between beeps gradually increases. But then, your gaze shifts to your cherished spouse, the man whose absence has left an indelible void within you. The man with whom you would have fearlessly confronted doomsday on that fateful December 24th in 2018, had it not been for the fact that you were carrying his last trace of existence, a precious legacy nestled within your very being.

You: You feel so warm.

Satoru: Some things never change.

His hand gracefully slides towards your waist, triggering a chain reaction of chaos. Those pesky wires and tubes that were so dutifully attached to you? Well, they decide it's time for a break and go on a wild unplugging spree. It's like a rebellious dance party of freedom for those little connectors! And just when you thought things couldn't get any more exciting, your feet are about to touch the chilly floor, ready to embark on an unplanned adventure.

You: Hold up! Fetch my wheelchair for me!

Satoru: You don't need it anymore.

As you place your feet on the floor, you can't help but chuckle at the fact that your knees manage to hold up, allowing you to stand upright. The machines emit a continuous beeping sound, indicating a flat line on the monitor. Suddenly, the door swings open, and a troupe of nurses storm into the room. They swiftly gather around your motionless body lying on the bed. One nurse examines your vital signs, another administers an injection into your vein, and a third retrieves a machine to deliver cardiac shocks in an attempt to revive you. Witnessing these intense moments, you hold Satoru's hand tighter.

You: I don't want to come back.

Satoru: Are you sure?

Tears well up in the corners of your eyes and trickle down your cheeks as you gaze at him.

You: Yeah. I've spent more time living with your memory than I've had the opportunity to live alongside you.

Satoru's grip on your hand intensifies like he's determined to etch his touch into your very being. He lifts your hand delicately, planting a tender kiss upon it. Drawing you closer to him, he envelopes you in an embrace, burying your face in the warmth of his chest. With gentle affection, he presses a kiss upon the crown of your head, leaning his head upon yours.

As teardrops trickle onto your head, you find yourself clinging to him desperately, as if trying to hold onto the fragments of a shattered existence. In that agonizing moment, the harsh reality of his unfulfilled roles crashes down upon you like a relentless wave. He has endured the torment of being a husband bereft of a wife, a father denied a child, and a sensei forsaken his students.

Satoru: I will never let go of you anymore.

You: Is this just another one of those "oops, my bad" promises? You know, like when you swore to be to hold me for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?

Satoru: Heyyy! I held you till death do us part. I even remember, the night before my, um, grand finale, I held you so good that you had spread your legs, moaning my name and begging me to hold you harder.

Just as you are ready to break free from his grasp and deliver a well-deserved bonk on his clueless head, the scene takes an unexpected turn. Your doctor rushes into the room and towards your bed, barking orders left and right, and proceeds to administer yet another mysterious injection into your poor, defenseless vein.

Deciding to redirect your attention, you avert your gaze and catch sight of your reflection in the nearby window. To your astonishment, your hair has magically reverted to its former glory, defying the clutches of time. Wrinkles? Vanished as if a skilled magician performed a grand disappearing act. You're suddenly transported back to the good ol' days of youthfulness. Bewildered, you inspect your once-bruised hands, only to find them as flawless as a newborn's.

You: Satoru? What's—

Satoru: I know, right? It turns out one of the unexpected bonuses of kicking the bucket is that you get to rock your sexiest form once again. So, brace yourself because I won't behave when you sashay around in that gorgeous drop-dead gown. I can't keep it in my pants till we arrive and I start making cream pies and babies with you!

You: Oh, my goodness! Does it actually work in the afterlife as well?

Satoru: You're referring to my... um, dick? Let me tell you, it still has the same old magic, if not a little extra pizzazz! It's like a fine wine, aging gracefully and delivering peak performance in the afterlife. Who knew there would be such perks beyond the grave?

You: No, idiot! I mean babies!

Satoru: How should I know? I made sure to wear a condom during my frisky encounters with angels.

You can't help but release an exasperated breath, causing your ears to turn as red as a tomato in a sauna. The thought of giving him a good old-fashioned strangling and sending him off to the after-afterlife has you chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

Satoru: Would it tickle your funny bone if I threw caution to the wind and played a game of "heavenly roulette" with unprotected encounters, potentially earning myself some out-of-this-world STD souvenirs?

With a masterful brow raise and a world-class eye roll, you are all set to deliver the ultimate "exit stage left" move. But he pulls off the ultimate surprise maneuver and hits you with the "Hold up, wait a minute" move. He has a secret superpower to freeze you in your snarky tracks! Goddammit! Those puppy eyes again.

Satoru: I was joking, okay? I just jerked off while watching your showering or self-exploration activities. I mean, fingering yourself while calling my name. That's it! Okay? Also, we should have a talk about that dildo you named Hollow Purple!

You: So, it seems you shamelessly watched everything, hm?

Satoru: Yes. Absolutely! I had a lot of spare time to slay, and, hey, let's not divert our attention from the Hollow Purple subject, you dirty little mouse!

You: God! Kill me already!

Satoru: Why? You're just itching to infiltrate the kingdom of my pants, aren't you?

You: You know what? I've had a change of heart. I'd rather try my chances with cosmic sickness than spend an eternity with your delightful company!

Satoru: Goodness gracious! You and your fiery temper! How on earth did you manage to cast a spell on me, making me fall for you?

You: It's common knowledge among our friends that everybody should bow down to your shameless expertise in the art of begging!

Satoru: Is that so?

He displays a smug smirk, his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

Satoru: Well, we can ask when we see them.

Your eyes go from their regular setting to full-on "wide-angle lens" mode, capturing the world in all its wide-eyed wonder. It is as if someone presses the "zoom" button on your peepers, revealing a comical level of astonishment.

You: They are there, too?

Satoru: Oh boy, buckle up for Nanamin's epic rage when he discovers our fashionably late entrance!

You: Well, chop-chop! Time to hit the road! We wouldn't want to unleash the wrath of the entire afterlife just because your chatty ass decided to go on such a long monologue!

He leans in and gently kisses your forehead, intertwining his fingers with yours as he guides you towards the door. As you both stand at the doorway, you cast a lingering gaze upon the nurses and doctor, who seem to have thrown in the towel on their attempts to revive you.

Satoru: I can't wait to spook everyone alongside you. You'll forever be my always.

Author's Note: I had an absolute blast writing this.

@enchantedforest-network 🤍

[sink-me-in-your-ocean]

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰 IV

It's time to kick off spooky season!

What is it like watching scary movies with the ghouls? And what movies are you watching with them?

Mentions of gore/slight spoilers for the movies mentioned.

Swiss:

Loves jumpscares 

Loves scaring you (or anyone else that’s watching) too

No matter what you watch he will always want something scarier

But he also loves comedy

You watched “It” with him and he won’t stop quoting the movie

“You’ll float too!” He cackles maniacally and wiggles his fingers as he chases you around the dark loft.

“Swiss, stop!” You aren’t really scared, but you jump up on the couch anyway, grabbing a pillow to hold out as a shield.

“Beep beep Richie!” He grins as wide as possible, bugging his eyes out at you, and lunges.

You swing the pillow like you’re a heroine slaying a dragon in a fantasy book. He dodges and jumps on you, pinning you under him.

“You’re an animal!” You scream as he tickles you, making you squirm beneath him.

At least it’s an improvement from him running after you repeating, “Here’s Johnny!”

-

Phantom:

Only wants to watch vampire movies

You offered him a plethora of choices, ranging from silly ones like “Once Bitten” to more serious action movies like “Underworld”

He got overwhelmed and ended up closing his eyes and picking one at random

“The Invitation” wasn’t your first choice, but what Phantom wants, Phantom gets

“Okay she is definitely a vampire.” He stared at the pale, tall woman on screen.

“How can you tell? You can barely see out of that fortress you’ve built yourself.” You teased lightly, offering him a handful of popcorn.

He accepted it, huffing, “I have to be prepared.”

“For what?” You stifled a laugh.

“The jumpscares, duh.” 

You rolled your eyes, nodding along. The movie continued and eventually a spicy scene between the two main characters happened, making you both turn red.

“Well I was not prepared for that.” He said sheepishly.

Towards the end, it got a little too scary for him, and he ended up throwing the bowl of popcorn on the floor.

You held him close, protecting him from the sexy and not-so-scary vampires.

-

Dewdrop/Sodo:

Gets super into it

Loves any and all horror movies

The bloodier the better - blood and guts are hilarious to him

The Saw films are his comfort movies, he has definitely watched YouTube videos on how to escape all the traps

You put on a classic slasher for him once you learned he had never watched A Nightmare on Elm Street

“Oh come on! Just pop through the ceiling already and grab her!”

“Dew, stop! This is supposed to be building tension. They do that to get the audience on the edge of their seat… although it looks like you’re off yours.” You realize he’s sitting on the floor directly in front of the screen.

A few minutes later.

“That blood doesn’t look very real.” He scoffed.

“Do you think they use real blood?”

He made a face. “How else would they slice everybody like that?”

You spend the next two hours explaining to him that movies are not, in fact, real. His mind is blown to say the least.

By the time you resume watching the movie, he forgets most of what you told him, resuming shouting at the screen for Freddy Krueger to kill the teenagers.

-

Rain:

This ghoul does NOT watch scary movies 

Why? He gets bored easily

Also, he ruins the movie by calling out all of the jumpscares

(He still gets scared though, he is just deflecting)

Hypercritical as heck

You still beg him to watch Cabin in the Woods with you

“Why do they run so stupidly?!”

You reach over and grab his leg, “Rain, we are supposed to be enjoying the movie, not yelling at the characters every two seconds.”

“I can’t help it, there’s no one to root for.” He whines, “They did it to themselves wandering into that creepy basement and playing with the weird stuff down there.”

You raised your eyebrow in an “oh really?” look.

“Plus, they shouldn’t be in this cabin in the middle of the woods anyway!” He gestures for emphasis. “Who does that?”

You hold up the remote, “Okay Rain, I can turn it off if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine, might as well finish it.” He immediately backpedals.

“Good.” You settled back in, at least hoping he would enjoy the plot twist coming up.

Spoiler alert: He didn’t.

He waved his arms at the screen, “What in the hell is the lady from Alien doing here?!”

Maybe next time you’ll think twice about watching a scary movie with this ghoul.

-

Mountain:

Likes Halloween-themed movies with humor

Will indulge in a “real” horror movie from time to time, but usually at the behest of others

He will comfort you if you get too scared

So you insist on an actual scary movie

What could possibly go wrong?

“Oh hells no!” You clapped your hands over your eyes, the scene with the reverse bear trap simply proving to be too much for you.

“Come on, it’s okay - she actually escapes it!” He watched the movie Saw already, vetting it so he could make sure it would be okay for you to watch since he knows you’re a scaredy-cat. 

He was a little too lenient with this one though, overconfident in your limited bravery.

“Practical effects like that really scare me, Mountain, you could have given me a warning!”

“Please, those intestines she found the key in don’t look real at all.” He was amused, then turned and opened his arms, “Get over here, I’ll protect you.”

“Good.” You scooted closer, putting the blanket over you both.

Once your heartbeat went back to a normal cadence, your eyelids started to droop.

The rest of the movie was fine, not that you noticed, you were too busy doing… other things. Spoiler alert: you passed out, comfortably snuggled up nice and warm.

-

Cirrus:

Prefers artsy horror movies over slashers

She is not so much picky, but she is very opinionated

Cirrus will not hesitate to tell you when a movie is bad, often pausing a film to interject her thoughts at multiple points

(But we love her for it)

She left it up to you to choose between two of her favorite modern horror movies: Hereditary and Us

You mistakenly chose the former

“I’m going to be sick.” 

The car scene just played, and now you can never look at Alex Wolff of The Naked Brothers Band the same.

“Please, just wait, I promise it’s so good!” She held your hand and squeezed softly.

You looked at her pleading eyes and sighed, giving in, “As long as the rest of the people’s heads are staying where they’re meant to be, I’m okay.”

You were not okay. The movie, to you, was a nightmare.

“Cirrus, can we please turn this off? I’m getting seriously nauseous.”

She was apologetic, forgetting your weak human stomach in regard to scary things, “Okay, okay no worries, can I just spoil the rest for you?”

“Sure.” You croaked weakly.

You managed to lighten up significantly, as Cirrus talked about the movie and highlighted important parts in the plot you had missed, she seemed to glow. You loved seeing her get so passionate over something she liked so much.

-

Cumulus:

She’s ready for a scary movie marathon

Cumulus already has a list of the best movies including The Craft, Interview With The Vampire, and Jennifer’s Body just to name a few

She also comes prepared with matching blankets and Halloween-themed onesies for you both to wear

You bake little pumpkin cookies to share between the two of you

Comfy time + spooky movie time = pure happiness 

“So, what do you want to watch first?”

“Uh, how about you choose?” You felt indecisive but warm, all snuggly inside your onesie.

“Okay, let’s start with Carrie, it makes sense because it’s one of my all-time favorites and it was also made such a long time ago.”

“Wait, there’s a chronological order to these?”

“Of course!" She says matter-of-factly, "I’ve been curating this list for years!”

In your periphery you saw that she kept looking over to watch your reactions. You loved the movie, and before you could ask she already queued up the next one.

The two of you stayed up all night watching some of the best scary movies ever made, eventually falling asleep around sunrise like a couple of vampires, covered with cookie crumbs.

-

Sunshine/Aurora:

Loves Halloween movies, not such a big fan of scary movies (also will not watch sad movies)

Her favorites are stop motion, like Corpse Bride, Nightmare Before Christmas, etc.

You debated ad nauseam over Nightmare Before Christmas though, whether it was a Christmas or Halloween movie

(You agreed to disagree, there's so such thing as winning an argument with her)

She likes to talk while watching, so… RIP your ears

She also likes to eat while watching, choosing the crunchiest candies and snacks

“Sunshine, you sweet beam of light, can you please stop chomping so loudly in my ear?”

She looks over to you, bug-eyed, mouth full of salty pretzels and sweet peanut M&M’s. “Mwha-?”

“It’s okay, just, chew what’s in your mouth,” you sighed, you kept supplying snacks for her and yet you never learned, “I’ll just turn the volume up.”

She went back to staring at the screen, witnessing Coraline travel down the tunnel for the first time. Her eyes were wide like she was witnessing a train wreck, she couldn’t look away for a second.

Towards the end of the film:

“Boo! Other Mother you suck! Get your scary spidery fingers away from Coraline!” She shouts and throws a fistful of candy at the screen.

Oh brother. Next, you’ll watch Corpse Bride for the fifth time this week and she’ll start yelling at Lord Barkis.

[mae-i-scribble]

I'm so so so happy that the anime is finally here!!!! I watched it as soon as I could even being exhausted after work and it was so worth it. Literally just a direct shot of happiness into my veins. I had a good feeling about the show after the trailers but as a long time manga fan I really am overjoyed that the show is doing it justice!! As a romantic comedy almost gag manga the show absolutely delivers. Some cuts feel a bit abrupt when they didn't need to be but there were also some perfectly timed shot cut aways that made everything so much better. I also really loved the little sound effects, like the beeps of confusion and the little angry noises in time to Hagi's angry expression signs dancing around him when Suo is revealed to be the "prince" of their school. Overall the animation is incredibly well drawn, with minimal motion in favor of putting emphasis on expressions. It can be a bit noticeable at times that they're def cutting down on production costs but overall it never took me out of the show or took away from the enjoyment of the comedy. It's more something I notice because I really love animation and will always keep an eye on it when watching any animated media. The voice acting in it is also fairly standard in regards to my expectations. From the initial trailers I wasn't too sure about Tokiwa's voice but watching this episode made me really appreciate it. I love the near constant underlying anxiety/confusion when it comes to him interacting with Suo, and in general his anxious noises are great fun. Kohaku's voice I was also pleasantly surprised by. From the trailers it sounded like they were going for a more stereotypical tsundere voice archetype for her. In the show itself though it's not nearly as aggressive and the inflection overall feels very true to her character. Everyone else's voices were excellently done! Those two are just the ones that surprised me in a good way. I also love love loved seeing the scene at the arcade that wasn't there in the manga. It just flowed so seamlessly and gave me more character moments with everyone which is exactly what I want. Anime please give me more of this in the future I will eat this up like candy. I want to do an anime/manga comparison sometime for fun but that's for another post. The opening/ending are both very fucking cute. I don't much care for the song choice but the animation for them both is perfect. I also love the way the two connect with the dancing aspect. In the opening in particular each pair is: Suo is as cool and collect as always while Tokiwa is high key embarrassed and having a time (tm)

Hagi and Kohaku who are both very bewildered (Hagi is definitely having another internal crisis) but doing their best

Asagi and Fuji who are just vibing together having fun

They also then do a really cool ending sequence with the girls in casual attire and the boys as plushies that also is just a great showing of their relationships. Kohaku choosing Hagi out via claw machine as a callback to that little dog he gives her during their first meeting and in the way that neither of them really appears to be the others type when it comes to attraction but are choosing to pursue something with each other for vairous reasons (spoilers but not so obvious with kohaku at this point but story definitely is leaning in that direction). In that regard Kohaku's nervousness is a really cute thing.

Then you get Fuji at the convention hall floor with Asagi sitting on her table when she pats his head. Really showing his dedication to helping her with her passion while showing Fuji's reserved way of expressing affection. For me it's also a fun way of showcasing his ignorance of what she actually draws XD

Notably, Suo is the only one of the girls still in drag- and spoilers ahead in this but that is most certainly with purpose. She's the one who changes her persona the most drastically between work and casual life with none of the struggle Kohaku has. As the manga goes on it's also incredibly clear that Suo keeps many walls up between herself and the people around her. And even when approaching Tokiwa, she is far more outgoing/pushy when masc presenting rather than fem presenting. Even in this shot, they're at the bar, her job, where she can be safe to express her interest under the disguise of her work persona coming on a little strong. But when left to her own devices, she just wants to watch Tokiwa fondly, not even reaching out to him or anything. (When are we getting the explanation for why Suo fell for Tokiwa so hard PLEASE i am on my hands and fucking knees)

Overall the anime is 11/10 I am so in love and am waiting eagerly for episode 2. I'm also so excited to see more fans who find this story via the anime because yes it deserves so much

[trekmupf]

The Gang fights cold war paranoia

Pro

A great short and to the point cold open that immediately flings the viewer into this new time travel setting

Bringing the 60's military and Roddenberry's vision of the future military face to face in this episode is interesting: some things are futuristic and some, by now, have happened (women in the military), some are the same (Kirk's &Christopher's sense of duty)

The balance of silly moments and humour works well with the more serious parts of the episode (Christopher and the crew possibly being stuck, the danger of temporal meddling)

I love that Star Trek roughly correctly predicted two real life Space achievements: the first moon shot being in the 60's on a Wednesday no less, and Christopher's son being part of the first Saturn probe, which in real life launched in 2004 – so roughly around the time his possible son could've been working for NASA

Everyone looks really beautiful in their close ups, once again

I like the change from “actually you contributed nothing” to “shit this guy needs to go back, his son is super important” because even though you yourself might not change the world, a person you influenced (or created) could, and therefore every person is relevant in their own way

The Paranoia and cold war mood is captured really well for a modern audience

The fact that the 60's, highly modern at the time, now feels like a museum to today's viewers just like it does for the crew; At the same time the Enterprise and it's Science Fiction is also old school to us; Old science fiction is always a great window into history also

The original special effects are once again great, the original enterprise is so adorable and beautiful (Video Link)

Kirk flirting with Christopher is its own comedy

Kirk's whole facial journey when Christopher appears

Instead of containment or anything Kirk immediatly shows of his ship and tells him literally everything while still flirting in the lift

That flight suit must be so uncomfortable Captain Christopher, you should totally change into something more comfortable :)

The fact that Christopher is such a straight guy from his time who doesn't clock this at all makes it even funnier, two opposite sites of the sexual tension scale

then Spock swooping in destroying Kirks happy threesome dreams with reality

I mean how else can I interpret Spock's look at Christopher than that of a jealous boyfriend

Spock then sticking around and not leaving Jim and Christopher alone AND casually delivering the sickest “your life was sort of useless” burn

Christopher finding out about his son, the way the others are just as delighted about it as he is and the way he smiles every time it's mentioned is not only sweet but also shows certain things about humanity won't change – the love for our children is something they can bond over despite being centuries apart

Sulu and Kirk solo adventure! Also them working well together! Also just the fact that they casually beam in the middle of a military base and aren't even that sneaky about it

Sulu's large bag is keeping all his secrets

Bones and Spock, flirting their way through Kirk's absence

The entire scene were Kirk and Sulu get discovered is comedy gold: them pretending not to hear the obvious beeping, Spock eyeing the frozen military man up and down, Kirk's absolutely done with this plot reaction, Bones taking the gun and communicator off him in slow motion, it's all so well paced and acted

Us? We are so so innocent and don't know anything :)

The fight scene is so very Trek, but a) just very believable as it's just chaos and limbs b) Kirk reacted so quickly and well to the situation as it was never about winning but about giving Sulu time to escape and c) Sulu reading the situation correctly and doing the right thing

Kirks giving the policemen nothing but cunt and he's such a pretty boy doing it, giving severe I'm beautiful & I don't deserve this vibes

I literally made so many screenshots of kirk being done with what's going on that I made a seperate post

“Oh this little thing? Just something I slipped on” Kirk STOP flirting with the military guys!!!

Con

the entire "Kirks pc is a sexy lady" is just weird, serves no purpose and feels very out of place

The way the situation is solved in the end feels very sudden and fast compared to the rest of the episodes pacing

Counter: Nothing

Quote I made an error in my computations (Spock) Oh? This could be an historic occasion. (Bones)

Moment: It's hard to choose, but the fight itself is so great and classic TOS including Kirk yeeting himself at all three of them

Summary: The classic Sci-Fi time travelling trope done Trek style, with some team shennanigans, including a very "I'm done with life" Kirk trying to flirt with a time traveller, a "I have done nothing wrong in my life, ever" Sulu and some classic TOS fighting. The episode also offers some deep thoughts on the importance of a single person in our society and the dangers of temporal meddling, setting a precedent that will shape future directives for Starfleet and time travel. Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS reviews