#been playing the is it my allergies
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨
rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work
@theotherwhybietoldmeso & @killerandhealerqueen
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Forgive me. I was fighting demons (imposter syndrome, crippling self doubt, fatigue, and a wild pack of mental illnesses). (◕દ◕) But! I'm finally back after like three ass weeks. <( ̄︶���)> So, here! A v unserious snippy from my we have to stay silly modern kidlaw au (yeah, shocker, it's them bastards again) that I've been doing sometimes on the side just for shits n giggles. 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
The call connected and Killer's accent crackled out of the speaker. “Law? What's up?”
“Nothing urgent. I just need to know if Eustass h—”
“Yeah, his phone’s dead again. He's in the shed. You want him?”
“What?”
“Hang on. I'll get him.”
Law pinched the bridge of his nose. Squeezed his eyes shut till he saw pinpricks. “No, I just need to know if—”
"Oi, Kid! Your boyfriend wants to speak ta ya!"
Law snapped his eyes back open and nearly crushed his phone as his hand clenched in a useless attempt to smother the speaker.
Ahead of him in the aisle, hands in his pockets, Cora stopped. His leg held out in front of him as he froze mid-stride.
Dammit.
After a beat, as if he'd been waiting for what he'd heard to start making a little more sense, Cora slowly turned on his heel. His other leg still stuck out in front of him and the hem of his heart-covered button-up twirling with him.
He stared wide-eyed at Law. The embodiment of flabbergasted. His raised boot absently clicking down on the supermarkets’ bland tiling like an accompanying exclamation point.
Dammit!
"He's not my damn boyfriend!" Eustass yelled, taking the words out of Law's mouth.
The heavy rock blasting from the shed’s stereo lowered enough in volume to not blow out Law's phone speaker and Eustass' voice dropped several octaves as he brought Killer's phone up to his ear.
“Miss me, did ya, sweetheart?”
His eyes bulging, Cora took several steps back in bewilderment and tripped over one of the restocking boxes stacked in the aisle.
"Shut up, Eustass!" Law snapped. His face igniting alongside his fury. "You're on speaker!"
There was a pause so pregnant it had reached its third trimester. Then Eustass chuckled. It had a grotesque amount of facetious glee in it.
"Am I now?"
So. That had been a mistake. But Law could only double down now.
"Behave," he said through clenched teeth. "Or I'll—"
"You'll what? Don't go making promises you can't keep, princess."
Cora toppled back over the box trying to get up and landed on his back with his legs sticking straight up.
"I'm going to—!" Catching Cora's eye from down on the floor, Law sighed. "Doesn't matter. I'll deal with you later. Cora-san wants to know if you have any dietary restrictions.”
He scrunched down into his jacket. Tense. Gritting his teeth. Law still wasn't sure how Cora had talked him into letting him come over and cook dinner. But if it had been a bad idea before, it was a horrendous one now.
Eustass Kid was an arsehole. Always had been. Always would be. Always was. There wasn't a chance in hell he could be trusted not to—
"Hold up. Cora's there?"
"Yesss," Law hissed, ready to brain him.
“Put him on then.”
“Don't tell me what to do!”
Cora looked from Law to the phone and then accepted it when Law clicked his tongue on his teeth in irration and offered it down to him.
Tagging @schwazombie (no pressure. You keep working on those kidlawgust prompts if you're still on a roll 😊) and anyone else that wants to give it a whirl ✨✨
#weekend wip exposure club#look mum i didn't chicken out 👐#context: cora is a klutz in canon so that's why i'm making a fool of this man. Also because i love him dearly but that's besides the point#oh my words#from the dark pit#my agenda that kid calls law nearly every kinda cringe insulting 'endearment' he can to simply piss law off is going stronk.#look. it's the being an ass derogatory ribbing to eventual sarcastic but very affectionate pipeline for me. love a man that plays himself.#I hear you (no one. literally none one) saying 'but would law make the mistake of ringing killer (because of enthusiastic but misguided#insistence from cora) on speaker (also requested by cora) to ask about kid's food allergies (once again for cora) after kid wouldn't pick u#(idiot bastard doesn't hardly ever charge his phone. if it dies it dies. that's its problem. not his.) and then once getting handballed#without mercy (king shit move tbh killer) to the pain in the ass himself...not turn speaker phone off in 0.01 seconds??' and to that I say:#Look. He's been Having A Day okay. And it's fun to ruin law's life with shit like this because he makes it so easy takes it all so seriousl#.also. the scenario made me chuckle and the pursuit of joy gets the final word in this house so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#(peanut i had a whole bunch of Bepo centric ones i was trying to pick to use instead for you but i 🐥end out. we strive for next weekend 😌)#(zom i love the difference in tones of our modern aus. it makes me very happy.#your foot is in darkness (&Hope) and mine is in a Hello Kitty rollerskate 🤭)
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Everyone say happy birthday to Pro! She's growing up so fast <3 <3
I look forward to seeing where she goes in life. I love her so much. For the T'au Va!
Our exploding dinosaur is allergic to the ocular forest, I think.
Noooooo my babies have the flu!!
Okay, I don't know how many people are in the crossover between the RimWorld Alpha Biomes mod and online worldbuilding projects, but does anybody else get "Mystery Flesh Pit National Park" vibes from the ocular forest?
Anyway, the randomly generated name for our new home is Monster's Basin, which I think is very fitting!
And finally, Duchess and Blackdragon have brought a little brightness to the dreary red mist of the ocular forest by announcing that lil' Dire Wolf is going to be a big sister soon!! Congratulations to the Babalbil-Mossler family!! <3 <3 <3
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#rimworld#gracie plays#The Children of Ecthuctu#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#Happy birthday Pro!!!#not sure how you managed to get to the 'vre rank before you hit double digits but I'm proud of you anway#Magdalen has “spore allergies”#I don't know what “spores” there are around here#but I choose to believe it's the eyeballs growing on the trees#M.M.'s wings must be the BEST#Like a built-in comfort blankie#I wish I had wings#Monster's Basin is such a cool name#I've been lucky with the random name generations this run#Hopefully Baby Babalbil-Mossler gets lucky with their name too#I'm so excited#Have an awesome day!! <3 <3 <3
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A couple months ago (at least I think it was, but time is weird for me), I purchased an African Violet. This is a plant that's been in my life since early childhood. I had one until my husband killed it during one of our moves; he put it in full sun on a hot day. These plants burn. Just an hour in direct sun is enough to do serious damage. I was at our new place, directing where things go, and six hours later he arrived with a completely cooked plant. No, I was no okay, and more than ten years later I'm still very fucking upset. He's well aware of this.
Which is why he didn't argue when I said I'm getting an African Violet. They were $6 and poorly cared for at the local gardening place. On the container, it says "keep out of direct sunlight" and "water from the bottom." They had them in barely filtered light and were water from above. Yes, I fucking corrected them. The guy threw a fit and called the gardening manager over, who asked if I wanted to work there and sent the other guy to put the plants in a different area.
They had no self-water pots, nor African Violet food. Those are the kind African Violets need. So I've had mine in its original container until today. It started showing signs of dying a week ago, and was getting way too large for the container it came in. I'm using general potting soil because that always worked fine for my previous plant. I had to repot that thing four times! African Violet food will need to be acquired soon-ish.
My husband came home with a self-watering pot today. He went to four different places to find one! A couple days ago I was have a Very Bad Day, and seeing my plant rapidly failing was what set the dam of tears flowing. It was Bad. He was my hero today, didn't even tell me he was getting a pot. The plant has since been re-potted. I soaked the soil before adding the plant and dry soil, something my mom taught me (she has around half a dozen African Violets). If it does well, I'll see about acquiring more in the future. I have a spot on my PC desk set aside for an African Violet. The one I have is on my cutting table, the corner nearest the window.
I now have six pothos plants (all cuttings from the same one), one spider plant that may soon become two, and an African Violet. Next week, I may be filling some containers with soil and wildflower seeds from the front yard. There's too many weeds and general crap in the front yard for anything but more weeds and general crap to grow, so we're more or less destroying it, then adding layers of organic matter (six inches or more of fallen leaves and other similar stuff), and leaving it alone for a year or two while I add more containers. I intend to acquire tires of various sizes, a bathtub, and some other similar items, to decorate the yard and serve as containers. Because it amuses me, we own the house, and I fucking can. Even told the neighbors, and they found it hilarious. When the soil is ready, I'll add native wildflowers, some milkweed (monarch butterflies navigate through here), and other native plants that self-seed and will require minimal effort. The backyard will be treated much the same, but with raised beds for food and herbs, and walkable paths.
For now, my current plants will have to do. I'm just hoping my African Violet survives the transfer and thrives in the significantly larger and more appropriate pot. The other held maybe two cuts of wet soil. This? A gallon, possibly more.
#chaosfay talks#plants#I love gardening. I love the smell of potting soil. I love playing in the dirt.#but my allergy to grass is severe. hives within minutes. straw hat? hives. My SIL didn't believe me and got me one a few years ago.#so I went walking wearing it while she hung out at the house. A couple miles later I return and have her examine my skin.#she's an ICU nurse. book smart but not life smart. genuine dumbass. she was shocked when she saw the hives everywhere the hat had been#touching me. took me straight to the doctor where I got necessary medicine to get rid of the reaction and prevent things from getting worse#hay? anaphylaxis. this is after 11 years of allergy shots btw. I used to be allergic to everything but horses and mold on the allergy#scratch test. Now two trees cats and every grass under the sun. grass is great when it's far away from me and my home.
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random question, do yall have any gender/sexuality headcanons for skyblock npcs? :]
#my inbox is open if you would like to share with the class#only a handful of you play the game but more than a handful of you know about it so like. surely there's something right#i have many but i wanna hear other takes. perfectly fine to contradict my own btw im curious!#im feeling particularly prideful tonight and it is 100% bc i've just been laying around sick thinking abt the month#got a lot on my mind. wanted to doodle earlier but dont feel super great#definitely better but not great. dont wanna get locked into A Task and not move for a couple hours kjhfgk#so i've just been scrolling and occasionally doing something else. like typing rn i am typing wahoo#gotta cancel my dentist appointment... AGAIN >:(#these cavities are gonna fucking rot man 😭#that's twice i've gotten sick the day before an appointment. but this time it has a fever so it's Real Sickness#last time it was just allergies#chat
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hear me out: snzfuckers dnd group
#it’s been ages since i played#but i wanna bring back my sexy elf character and play around with his allergies#those hours of travelling are a lot less boring when half the party can’t catch a break from their allergies#snzblr#snzfucker#snz#snz kink#d/n/d
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look what i can do now! should i ever learn to gif it's over for you hoes.
#narrator voice: she will - in fact - never learn to make gifs#[never say never but i also dont have tech stuff patience or mind]#i am satisfied wi this#i am so pleased with myself for discovering this#now i just got to figure out how to do this without it catching my noises#unless people want my liveblogging ... more life#anywho#farryn is lying#farryn and solas#i wish we could have 'persuade' and 'lying' dialogue the way we used to in dao#at least just when playing against solas#it struck me just now but whenever i play with farryn sometimes im like that's a like. ey is lying. this is farryn being a lying liar who#lies right here#but i cant distinguish that#it would have been fun to have rook and solas lie to each other and see if the other could track it you know#insight: farryn laidir#insight: farryn leshy#grapecase plays da4#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#da4#dragon age#i will say ... i dont like the lauryn hill hair on em#which sucks bc i like the hair.#i dont think it works with eir forhead#anyway jsyk farryn is lying particularly about feeling it being different bc it was eir command#and ofc solas' response is helpful#as varric said. meet solas as a humble person wanting to learn and ...#if anyone is reading this .... im sorry lmao#edit: just realizing how loudly this picks up my allergy noises
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Please enjoy some Rare In Game Screenshots of Ruza's Newest Look because I finally remembered that I could in fact take screenshots lmao ✨
#sin speaking#(this is me apologising 4 no art bc my ass has been gettin beat by allergies until like. yesterday LOL)#(ITS BEEN HARD...SO HARD...WHEN UR EYES ARE MORE GOOPY THAN A KIN ENEMY)#(i feel better now tho so. i need to post this anyway for my OWN REFERENCE)#(bc i 100% want to draw her in a modified vers of this for. sOMETHING. that involves. SOMEONE. whos name starts with. M.)#(honestly love gehrman in the back just waiting for me to stop playing barbie dress up already)#(sorry dude im busy serving looks)#(all the fashion in this game is so fierce....)#(wait till i figure out streaming yall gonna see this LIVE)
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I swear, when it comes to some games writing morally grey/questionable companions, they're pretty much just programmed to hate every good thing you do regardless of if it makes sense for them to dislike it or not.
For example, if you're helping an NPC that's stuck in a similar situation or has similar trauma to said companion, you'd think the thought process would be "hey, I'm glad to see that you think people who have suffered the same way I have are deserving of being helped". But no, you get negative points for it instead.
It's even worse when you do go out of your way to be horrible to people and leave them to fend for themselves to get your companion's approval, and all of a sudden, they turn around to you like: "You know, seeing how much of a piece of shit and an awful human being you are to others really makes me feel like I can trust you to help me with my problems, even after you shunned everyone else away for theirs! Please do my companion quest to prove you're good to me and me alone and that I'm putting my faith in the right person." Like????
Seriously, where's the logic? It's never just "wait a minute, if this is how they react to others dealing with their own struggles, then maybe I shouldn't tell them mine."
#some people may argue it's the point but to me it's just bad writing#because let's be real. If someone you knew irl treated struggling people like crap would YOU go to them for help? I didn't think so#I'm mainly talking about Fallout yeah but I'm not gonna properly tag it#does mentioning it in the tags like that above do anything? idk#I was gifted BG3 recently as well and have been playing it A LOT and I feel like it kinda has that problem as well?#But I don't know all the ins and outs to fully know for sure#I might tag it properly later if I feel like it but my allergies have been awful to me today so I don't really care
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Okay yeesh my mouth is killing me, time for a distraction!!!
...now I need to find a good distraction dangit
#I���ve been doing writing-y stuff all afternoon so I don’t REALLY need to do more of that...#I don’t know if I wanna play a video game I’m not really in the mood#my siblings wouldn’t want to play with me rn anyway they’re busy#and there’s nothing on tv and my allergy headache is enough that I don’t know if I want to read a book or not plus I’d have to FIND a book#guh.#hm then again#maybe looking for a distraction is distraction enough#rambles from the floor
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thinking that i need to should get an irl hobby where i interact with people.......... i cannot keep on going like this
#i dont wanna make it sound like i have no hobbies bc i do make bracelets and i write wikipedia articles once in a while etc#but i need to interact w ppl. only socializing w ppl from school and the dorms (+ my parents) is driving me crazy#the problem is that i would love to do some sport but i cant bc of my allergies.... and music. well maybe#but it would take up a lot of time. bc ive been trained to practice and play everything perfectly. so not playing perfectly#(by not practicing) would be..... terrible and i wouldnt like it#and im just. so lost lmao 🧍🏻♂️#i might look at stuff the civic center organizes. or i would also love to do some stuff with nature/plants but. idk where i should look lol#z xarre
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i think about my ex every day and it haunts me bc i never resolved it/told them all of my feelings of how i loved them but that theyre also an asshole who didnt treat me right and made me feel so insecure and stupid and i wish i could just PUT THE THOUGHTS AWAY FOR NOW
#we were only together for 8 months#but it was the longest relationship id been in#they were 40 i was 26#i drove across town usually late after working all day to see them all the time#their apartment made my allergies HORRIBLE bc of their cat but i went anyway bc i wanted to see them#but they would constantly tease me or jokingly say my pussy smells#they came to my side of down like 3 or 4 times maybe#they always walked like 8 feet in front of me which i hates#they were very negative and miserable#and would get mad at me for asking them about their work#they got mad at me for calling them babe#it felt like i always was pushing their boundaries and it was just me talking or texting them too much#sigh#i need to move on#but my thoughts are unresolved#i miss them but i put them through a lot of pain when i broke up with them and they guilted me and guilted me for months#and i dont want them back in my life after everything#wtf did this person even do for me#i didnt even feel loved by them#i got so tired of just sitting in their apartment all day watching them play video games#anyways end rant#i just wanted more from them
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I'm looking forward to packing up to move so much!! and then opening it all again there where I end up and setting up my home 😊 I'm not someone who likes unpacking after a trip, but when it's your whole home going somewhere new and exciting, I feel like it's different. I'm saying goodbye to so many things I don't need anymore, or never needed, and for the first time in my life getting to choose exactly what's going to be in my space, with an actual budget for things I need or even just want, and nobody else to impede me bring in their own stuff. ahhh it took so many years to get to this point but I can't wait!!!
#and I was very happy to come to this place too#for the majority of my time here I've been very pleased#I still remember my excitement when I learned we had a bathtub#I hadn't had a bathtub in my dorm so I felt like we were in luxury#and truly. despite the roaches and the blinds and the breakin#it's been a very reasonable apartment#with a responsive manager#there's tons of space. the floors are gorgeous. in-unit washer and dryer#even my aunt and uncle have to go to the basement for that in their fancy complex#a big room for me. a decent kitchen. came with a microwave. and fairly clean#great location. and despite the one incident. actually very secure#but in my new place I can host!!!! I can spread out!! use the bathroom whenever!! get a kitty cat!!#bake!! come home noisily at all hours! not tiptoe in the mornings!! play music!! be free!!#I'm so excited for my family and friends to visit :3#mutuals this means you too!! come to the east coast!#and this is a new renovation so hopefully my cousin can come without her allergies acting up#my aunt and uncle have hosted so many times I would be so happy to return the favor#cor.txt
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think i might have a fever :(
#deserved for smpe anniversary fkjhjgk#i hope it's just REEEEEEEEEEEEALLY bad allergies and not actually a fever#my nose has been bleeding nonstop for the past 2 hours now. i've just had it plugged this whole time 😭#i've been Going Through It man this is why i've barely posted. that and brothership#but i was going through it while playing brothership too this week has been hard#might call in today.. if i wake up feeling worse im staying home#and maybe like. going to a doctor. this isnt normal allergies this is advanced allergies#i've never bled like this surely this cant be normal#chat
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my parents are talking about food/catering stuff bc theyre the main volunteers to organize lunches for theater stuff
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the fact that they use me and my friends as examples of 'picky eaters' TwT
#marble musings#cuz apparently my dad talked to ppl in robotics and they idk ate other stuff#but#idk pre portioned food probably leads to more food waste#not to mention tech theater is almost entirely neurodivergent people literally what did you expect#(also my mom was like 'why would i get vegetarian pizza' TwT i think she fully forgets ppl have dietary restrictions#kinda odd coming from the lady with a lactose and gluten intolerance and an allergy to msg of all things)#also#time to play the game of:#will orion have food for the rest of the week#hahahahahaha /neg#probably not#hopefully i can get snacks for the rest of the week bc techs goin pretty late#and i can almost garuntee my friends will either forget to bring snacks#or go 'ehh ill live'#uhh and they justifiably probably dont want food thats been hand picked by an almond mom#sooo#idk i just want goldfish or something i genuinely havent had those in like 2 years TwT#just let me be fucking normal for once#ughhh#ok this is a#vent#post now TwT#ok time to do my homework#even though i should probably eat something more than just cabbage for dinner#whatevvvver#illllll livvvvvve#/sar
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my throat hurts and my nose is all stuffy someone pls hold me before i die
#im so eepy#i kept waking up thru the night bc i was so stuffy#im just gonna stay all bundled up in bed with my stuffed animals and my laptop and hopefully ill be fine eventually#allergies have been killing me this year specifically and my dramatic ass is ready to die#agh i just want someone to hold me and play with my hair and kiss my forehead and let me nap forever#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#trans mlm#t4t#mlm blog#mlm thoughts#t4t yearning
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