#beej headcanon

[herefortheships]

Just a little stepdad!Betelgeuse and stepdaughter!Astrid idea/headcanon for you tonight:

Imagine Astrid came back with ghostly powers from the Netherworld after BJBJ, like we've been speculating here recently, and, with Lydia unable (or unwilling??) to help her navigate this one power in particular, she resorts to calling Betelgeuse for help. That power: remote possession of the living, just like the Maitlands did, and just like Betelgeuse did in BJBJ.

I can understand why Lydia would want Astrid to push this one down. One thing's a ghost taking over another person, but a living person making other living people move to her will? Kinda scary! It could go wrong in so many ways! Lydia would probably struggle to come to terms with it, at least for a while. And that's why this idea is so interesting to me, tbh! There's a lot there to explore: questions of morality, "just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should", etc.

Astrid takes no shit from no one, but she does have some students "bullying" her at school that get on her nerves. What other perfect targets to practice her new powers on? 😂 Imagine the chaotic duo of Betelgeuse and Astrid controlling the people who bully Astrid at school with their ghosty powers, both of them hiding in the bushes dressed in camo outfits, staring with binoculars from afar while their targets make complete fools out of themselves. Betelgeuse doesn't exactly have a moral compass to think "these are just kids, shouldn't mess with them like this", and that's exactly why Astrid thinks "yep, he's the only one who can really help me learn to use this power". Anyway, that'd be totally hilarious. Wait until Lydia finds out what they're up to. lol

No, but, hear me out, what if Astrid goes dark side with these new powers and THEN Lydia and Beej have to work together to get her back? And Beej almost sacrifices himself (or sacrifices something important to him... gonna have to think that one over, but hear me out), he has to sacrifice something and do everything he can to right this wrong. He did help Astrid out, and things went horribly wrong and it's mostly his fault. He goes above and beyond to save her and it finally shows without any doubt that his actions are not selfish; that he really does love Lydia and her family.

Anyway, going way too cartoon plot with this last part, maybe, but I love this idea. 😂

[remyfire]

Baby Beej silly hat moments~

[dustykneed]

what if i drew myself stress relief musical sapphics.... what then....

can you tell i've been. hmmm. stressed this week LMAO (anyways if you recognise these pairs like that's awesome and you're so cool genuinely! but this is so self indulgent who am i kidding xDD)

[cum-a-calla]

Your thoughts on Beetlejuice?

i think Beej feeds on amusement, earnest interest, and a little bit of horny fear. like, i don't think of him as an inherently cruel or sadistic being. would he spank an ass til it's welted, or maybe pull some hair or bite down? yeah, if his partner got off loudly and enthusiastically to it. would he rip a new wound into somebody and fuck it? i don't think so lol

but there's a romance in there, too. Beej wants to be needed, maybe even pined for. he needs somebody to secretly want him so fuckin bad, to let him do his song and dance and his horrible stupid jokes and horrifying pranks, he needs somebody to slap his arm and call him a stupid bitch. he loves that shit. he wants somebody that isn't afraid to fight back a little and not take his shit, which in turn makes him want to pull MORE shit because it charms him so goddamn much to see you furrow your brows and get that cute little pissy look on your face. it gets his dick hard to be told how annoying he is.

but what gets him VERY hard, i think, aside from all the mischief, is knowing that while he's balls-deep and driving you absolutely fucking insane, you can't say his name, no matter how desperate you want to, how natural it feels to want to scream it. he likes slappin that big ol hand over your face and clucking his tongue at you, "tsk tsk, bad little toy. oh no-no-nooo, babe ❤️ you don't want me to disappear NOW, huh? not now that i got you all hot and bothered for me, not with how tight you are~ don't do it, don't say it, aww c'mon, give daddy a little kiss, lemme take care of it." that's his weakness - your ultimate gentle submission to his little manipulations and teasing

[juicedbeetle]

I know everyone already figured this probably but I hadn't paid attention before to when beej exactly takes his coat off and I was curious, so I'm pleased to report that he left it somewhere in the kitchen

not to mention he is briefly alone with adam in the kitchen while he was there getting the stuff for the sandwich

leaving aside my contemplation about how beej cannot affect the world of the living so those aren't coke, popcorn and 3d glasses he found in their house (probably manifested them himself the same way he takes the coat off. possibly from his mary poppins ass jacket, like with the mic) I like to think that he thought about getting them so he could snack alongside them, other than the obvious "upcoming show aka their death" use, not to mention the fact itself that he takes his coat off makes it feel like the mait's house is his as well, since you usually do it when you arrive home.

hell, I think he doesn't even need a coat whatsoever and just

started doing the "taking it off when I'm home" ritual because he saw adam doing it.

and in general I love this whole beginning part where he just acts like their house is his own, goes into their other rooms to do who knows what (first alone to the left then with adam in the kitchen), sits on their furniture like he owns the place, knows it like the back of his hand

actually I get the feeling that despite the fact he sat down first, he's also imitating adam here, like it's something the guy does all the time so beetlejuice has the whole thing memorized by now. but that's just speculation anyway.

I just get sad because I think he was really excited to meet them and already knew them really well, like he's not lying when he calls them friends, he's known them intimately for 10+ years (and, yes, it's been very creepy). he's lived with them and gotten used to this warm sitcom-y feel and then when they actually meet him they're terrified. Rightfully so but, ouch.

like, nothing goes like he planned right from the start, not just because they're not scary (and I mean, his whole plan was... to have them scare the new house inhabitants into saying his name? and then what? great plan beetleboose great thinking ahead there, a mastermind really), but because they didn't just magically act like his new best friends like he hoped and probably made up in his mind for all those years 😵‍💫

I mean, for all his solitude... the guy totally talks to himself. all the time. that is just a given to me. even besides the clones, the hand thing in say my name, the soliloquy, the guy probably had full fledged conversations. I can hardly imagine how many times he fantasized about talking to the maits for the first time in very elaborate scenarios in his head not to mention participated to all their conversations in the same way he does in this beginning segment and basically took it for granted that they'd enjoy his company same way he enjoys theirs, that is to say, the idealized version of their company he created in his head. siiigh, I love this whole part a lot, you can tell.

[musical-shit-show]

hay i was wondering could you do some cuddling hc with musical juice?

Oooh I sure can!

First off, Beetlejuice is clingy. We all see how touch-starved he is in the musical, so this would definitely translate when he’s in bed with a partner.

The first time he slept over, he practically jumped at the chance to cuddle up next to you.

Like, literally jumped into your bed, the springs bouncing under his weight as he eyed you up and down.

“Beej,” you said, “Remember what we talked about?”

He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms like a petulant child.

“Yes,” he muttered, a small smirk spreading across his face, “Just hand stuff…”

You giggled, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Beej”

“Fine! Fine,” he conceded, patting the empty space next to him, “I guess I can control myself for tonight. But you aren’t making it easy, ya know.”

He loves to wrap his arms around whoever he’s with (maybe even growing a few extra if he feels particularly handsy) and pulls you as close as physically possible.

He’ll play with your hair, soothing you as you fall asleep in his arms.

But don’t get it twisted, homie LOVES being the little spoon too and will make you switch positions at some point in the night.

You will also find yourself playing with his hair, as it gradually shifts from its normal vibrant green to a soft pink color.

Even though he doesn’t need to sleep, Beetlejuice relishes in the closeness to you while you slumber and will find himself drifting off into a pseudo-nap.

Morning cuddling is his favorite, because that’s when you’re the most peaceful.

Beetlejuice would never admit it to you, be he savors the stillness that comes with the first few hours of the day.

It’s also when you’re the warmest, and since Beetlejuice ran cold, he loved feeling your body heat mixing with the early morning sunlight filtering through your room.

Listening to your steady breathing calmed him – so much so that he felt his chest rising and falling in tandem with you from time to time, despite not needing to breathe for close to a millennia.

He loves to bury his face into the nape of your neck, the stubble on his cheeks tickling you awake.

Even after you’re up and nearly ready to start your day, he’ll pull you in closer, nuzzling you until you finally gave in to spending a few more minutes in bed with him.

💚

thanks for the headcanon request! this was really fun to work on :)

[finchy4077]

just finished rewatching the more i see you. i’m in the fetal position. clutching my pillow. eyes wet. might throw up.

[ofyorkshire]

— DEATH / AFTERLIFE (cw for religion, twisting of biblical scripture, brief mention of child abuse and trafficking, brief suicide mention, and of course death)

BJ understandably has a complicated and unhealthy relationship with religion. He believes in the Christian God and in many ways is both drawn toward and repelled by religion, but his concept of God is not a kind or forgiving one (and if God is, BJ is certain that His compassion is reserved only for those good and deserving enough of it). This warped fire and brimstone view of God of course also colors his thoughts about death and the afterlife.

As succinctly as possible, BJ believes in Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory, and the belief that if a loved one is in Purgatory, a living person can pay their way to Heaven for them through penance. This was one teaching that Reverend Laws used to keep BJ in line: He instilled within BJ the belief that his mother, a sex worker who had BJ out of wedlock, was in Purgatory and the only way to keep her from eternal damnation was to pay for her in pain and, often, humiliation.

This inherited sin was the excuse Laws made for every hurt in BJ's life, from the brand carved into his skin to the very reason his mother died in the first place. BJ was taught that he was born from the filth of his mother's sins and therefore carried them for her, citing and twisting Scripture to back up his claims. Naturally, BJ was not allowed to hold or read a Bible nor to step foot in a church for similar reasons—he was "too dirty" and the very act would anger God, surely damning his mother's soul (and later the souls of other trafficked boys which Laws and his ilk murdered) for his disobedience. Instead, he was taught everything from the reverend's own voice.

So, believing that he is responsible for keeping his mother's (and the boys', and he eventually worries Barry's, Eddie's, and Clare's) souls from Hell, BJ believes that he will never finish repaying his debts to Laws or God and that his own soul is something that cannot be cleansed. He is merely the unfortunate vessel charged with keeping others safe, and when he too eventually dies, he will go to Hell for their sins, his own, and the inherent wrongness of his existence. This terrifies him and has consistently been the one thing keeping BJ from suicide, which he has considered since childhood.

After Laws is finally killed and BJ grows older, thoughts about God and the afterlife and eternal punishment become more distant to the point that there are some days when he doesn't believe in anything at all. He is able to convince himself that God doesn't exist and if He does it doesn't matter because surely He must have abandoned His creations. The possibility of that kind of emptiness after death is more comforting to him than distressing. He'd be sad for those he's lost because many were not happy while alive and he thinks they deserve something good after death, but then maybe nothing is still a form of happiness. It's peace, anyway; freedom from pain.

He doesn't know, though, and that doubt will always exist in the back of his mind. The question of What if? What if I am still responsible for their souls?

As strange as it sounds, if BJ had a near death experience and hallucinated nothing beyond life, he would be relieved. It would serve as confirmation enough that there truly is nothing out there and for once he might breathe more easily at the concept of dying.

[herefortheships]

We’ve seen how crazy yet lowkey romantic the Beetlebabes wedding is, so that makes me wonder: what do you suppose their wedding night would be like?

I have to say I hadn't thought about this one yet! How could their wedding night go?! Hmm... Let's muse about it for a bit then! ✨

It looked like he really enjoyed being tossed around by Delores on their wedding night, and he went pretty wild himself. But what I see in that scene is that Betelgeuse is a man who will match your freak. So whatever Lydia's freak is, this man will match it. I think he's the kind of man who will very enthusiastically let his lady do to him whatever she wants in bed, and he'll make sure she's enjoying herself. But Lydia better be ready, because, you better believe it, he's gonna bring his own freak too. 😏

There will be a lot of tender loving as well, no doubt. Beej has been waiting for this night for years, and Lydia, I'm sure has never been loved the way Beej loves her (sorry Richard, you can't be compared lol), and he's gonna pour all of that love and desire onto her with a passion Lydia didn't think possible. He's gonna worship her body in a way she's never experienced before, I'm sure. This girl is gonna learn some things for the first time ever in her 50s.

[remyfire]

In old roleplaying circles, I used to have people get really angry at me because they found a lot of catharsis in taking their characters those agonizing angst without necessarily giving them an end point of healing whereas my characters would always try to prompt that moment of healing—would be an end point they could come to whenever they were ready, would love them through the pain instead of drive it higher—and I don't think I've really changed at all in that regard, and I hope that ends up being all right.

[leeeeeeeeech]

Y/n: But that place is haunted. Lydia: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident! Y/n, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

[juicedbeetle]

beej would think holidays are really stupid because "time is all the same" until he gets to experience the customs and suddenly you'd see him in a lightup christmas sweater chugging eggnog and crunching on candy canes and decorating gingerbread houses with live insects that live inside the house like a cute wholesome family

[quenga-do-nordeste]

— Don't close your eyes, stay here. — Mel begs, desperate, as he tries in vain to contain the black liquid that runs between his fingers from the beetle amulet.

With his head in his lap Beetlejuice seems to be resigned, his energy fading quickly, his green eyes almost dull, lost somewhere far away. His voice is weak and broken but no trace of tears graces his spectral face.

— I love you. — He murmurs, the words echoing in the space between them. Confident, devastating. Mel's eyes widen in surprise, the tears now falling even harder, mixing with the infernal blood spilled.

— My ghost friend is such a liar that I almost believe him. — he murmurs, his voice more broken than he would like to sound. Beetlejuice smiles, a weak smile, as a black liquid, hot as hellfire, drips from the corner of his mouth. The beetle amulet has almost all the black liquid on the ground, and the hope of saving it slowly disappears.

— I love you too, damn it. — The brunette admits, his intense blue eyes fixed on Beetlejuice's, as sadness and despair surround them. A lump tightens his throat, suffocating him with the pain of imminent loss.

— I know.... Sorry it took so long. Feelings. Ew...— Beej whispers, his purple strands slowly losing color, taking on a pitch black tone.

— Don't you dare leave me here, alone, Bug. I won't make it, not without you. — Mel pleads, observing the crooked smile on the demon's lips when he tries to speak, but can't. His body, which used to be so restless, now remains completely still under his arms. The artifact dangled in his hand, without a single drop left.

He's gone.

He had no turning back. Her beloved died and would not return this time. Mel remained there, hugging him, until no tears fell and he no longer had a voice. Melancholy and loneliness filled the space where love once existed, leaving only the emptiness and sadness that eternity without Beetlejuice would bring.

Yes, I torture myself with annoying thoughts.

[afterthefuneral]

Honestly, my favorite thing about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is how Beej spends the entire movie tripping over the 7 inch erection he has for Lydia.

My headcanon is that when he went to the “little boys room” and left Lydia alone in the afterlife is because he had to go and jack off. Because he was so excited to be near her again.

[bjfinn]

Sign languages are not considered to be spoken (you don't say that you "speak" ASL, you say that you "know" it), and since his name must be "spoken unbroken", signing his name wouldn't work.

Writing his name could possibly work if he were literate lol -- but since he says "Jesus I can't spell" I wonder if he would recognise his name in writing.

There is another option, though -- the Sanskrit/Avestan name for Betelgeuse is "Ardra", and there's an alchemical/astrological symbol associated with it:

If this symbol were to be written three times, it would likely work for someone who was unable to speak. (Ignore the "Lunar Station No. 6" lol.)

Hope this helps!

Beetlejuice poll

all right fans, put on your thinking caps

A situation has come up in an rp that has me scratching my head.

Everyone knows that you have to say Beetlejuice's name three times to summon him. But what if someone is mute? Can they sign "Beetlejuice" or finger spell his name and it works? What if they're deaf and they can't pronounce it? Would writing down his name and reading it be enough for him to appear?

I have my own opinions on it, but am interested other's thought and the possibilities that could come of it.

[blackenedsnow]

Heyy, if you’re comfortable doing so could I please get some Beetlejuice x fem!reader who’s a single mom? Just pretty much him being soft and comforting letting her know she’s doing a good job etc? Thank you in advance 💕💕💕 can be a proper fic or headcanons I’ll let you decide xx

beyond it

WARNING: References to the stress of single motherhood

PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Single Mother! Reader

NOTE: I absolutely loved writing this!! I hope you enjoy this, and thank you so much for the request 💕💕

SUMMARY: Beetlejuice surprises you by being a source of comfort, helping you see that you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

It was late—too late for you to still be up. But as a single mom, you didn’t have the luxury of falling into bed as soon as the day ended. No, there were dishes to clean, laundry to fold, and tomorrow to worry about. And of course, your child had woken up twice already, needing reassurance from a nightmare.

You were running on fumes, slumped on the couch, your face buried in your hands. It felt like all you ever did was work. Just when you thought you could finally close your eyes and sleep, your thoughts picked up again—worrying about what needed to be done tomorrow, whether you were doing enough, whether your child was okay.

“Hey, dollface, rough night?”

This fucking guy.

That voice—raspy, familiar—cut through the fog of exhaustion like nails on a chalkboard. Beetlejuice. You didn’t bother looking up. He was probably lounging in his usual spot, perched on the armrest of your couch with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"Go away, BJ," you muttered half-heartedly. "Not tonight."

The ghoul groaned dramatically. "Aw, come on! And here I thought we were past the whole 'piss off, Beej' stage of our relationship." You felt a cold presence next to you, then his hand—decaying yet surprisingly gentle—lightly brushed your shoulder. "I mean, after all the times I’ve stuck around, don’t I get any appreciation?"

You exhaled sharply, finally lifting your head. "Appreciation? For what, exactly?"

"For being a goddamn delight, babes!" Beetlejuice beamed, leaning back against the couch and spreading his arms wide. "For hanging around when no one else does. Gotta say, not a lot of folks could handle a single mom with your level of stress."

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't hide the tiny smile tugging at your lips. "If by 'hanging around,' you mean constantly being a nuisance, then yeah, sure."

Beetlejuice chuckled, his voice rough yet oddly soothing. His eyes, usually wild and manic, softened just a bit as they focused on you. “Ah, you love it. Don’t lie, babe.”

You shook your head, sinking deeper into the couch. "I’m just… tired, Beej. I'm really tired."

For once, he didn’t launch into another sarcastic quip. Instead, Beetlejuice shifted closer, his body language relaxed but attentive. “Yeah, I know. I can see it. You’ve been runnin' yourself ragged for, what, weeks? Months?”

Your eyes welled up, but you quickly blinked the tears away. “I just… I feel like I’m not doing enough. There’s always something I’m missing, something I should be doing better.”

Beetlejuice’s hand rested fully on your shoulder now, his touch surprisingly solid. "Oh, come on, you're killing it out here, babe. You think your kid’s got it bad? They've got you. And lemme tell ya, you’re doing a hell of a job. Better than most."

You glanced over at him, surprised by his sincerity. "Really? You think so?"

“Are you kidding? Babe, I see it. I see you juggling work, taking care of the kid, making sure they're happy. And yeah, it’s messy and chaotic, but guess what? They're fine. They're happy, ‘cause you’re busting your ass for 'em.” He leaned in a little closer, his expression for once free of mischief. “You’re doin' more than enough."

His words hit you hard, in a way you hadn’t expected. You didn’t know why, but hearing it from Beetlejuice—someone who you never thought would care about anything—meant something. It eased the tight knot that had been sitting in your chest all day.

“I just don’t want to mess them up,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. “They deserve better than… than this.”

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there, sweetheart." Beetlejuice’s voice softened. He slipped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you in close. “They've got you, and that’s more than enough. You’re not perfect—who the hell is?—but you're trying. And that's what matters. Trust me, when they grow up, they're gonna see that.”

You allowed yourself to lean into him, resting your head against his chest. His suit smelled like a mix of dirt and decay, but there was something oddly comforting about the way he held you, like he was actually trying to be there for you, to support you in his own weird way.

“Hey, tell you what,” he said, his voice low. “Next time you feel like crap, I’ll stick around. We’ll cause some shit together, huh? Might help take the edge off.”

You chuckled softly, wiping at your eyes. “Yeah, maybe.”

Beetlejuice grinned, but it wasn’t the mischievous, cocky smirk you were used to. It was softer, almost tender. “You’re doin' good, doll. Don’t let anyone—including yourself—tell you otherwise.”

You looked up at him, and for the first time since he’d shown up in your life, you realized how much you appreciated him. Not just as the obnoxious ghost who wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, but as someone who—despite his crude humor and questionable ethics—actually cared. Maybe not in the typical way, but in a way that mattered.

"Thanks, Beej," you whispered, closing your eyes as you let the exhaustion finally catch up to you. "I mean it."

Beetlejuice stayed quiet for a moment, just holding you close. "Anytime, babe. Anytime."