#because you havent put your heart in or gotten that close yet in your life
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Phantogram - You Don’t Get Me High Anymore (Official Music Video)
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It just isn't fun, not like before, and you dont get me high anymore.....
#life#facts#love#relationships#awaken#new drug#used to take one now I take four#cause you dont get me high anymore#phantogram#I find it difficult but not why you think#It's hard because you think I am stupid#ignorance would be bliss#So yeah I still wonder why you started all that stuff#You know that saying you tried was bullshit#nobody ever acts that way without some attraction#you just didnt know how to say somebody came along you liked better without sounding like selfish shallow bitch#the quotes you post enrage me because none of that applies to you#and if you think it does your lying to yourself#cause its always the things I would have offered and given you#aspiring you now thats funny#its amazing you think he will be into you and only you#the shit he posts screams out he is a playa and somehow you are willing to be in the game#no one has really fucked you over you have no idea yet#he is going to show you tho I guarantee it#He will use you up chew you up and spit you out and you will beg him to stay#because you havent put your heart in or gotten that close yet in your life#that is going to be one hell of a heartbreak since you waited so long#its going to hurt way more cause you didnt learn all this in your youth#as I say all this it hurts my heart to know the pain that is coming to you because I truly love you and true love never dies#but it will let go if it has too
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hey this is actually one of the hardest things ive ever tried to do with my time as an artist. how the FUCK do etsy/shopvee/redbubble artists do this for a LIVING????
BIG News: I'm trying to make some really huge changes, and I'll need your help.
Before I grant any details, I gotta preface everything with the reality of our situation; Jay, the sole breadwinner, has been a victim of yet another "new hire surprise fire". He was booted without warning, written or verbal, about two weeks ago.
Evidently this is very common in the production wood/metalworking industry, otherwise this wouldn't have happened so many fucking times, because he's a great person with amazing work ethic and that's not just my bias talking - most of his coworkers have felt the exact same way as me across every company he's worked for.
Of course, THAT DAY we wasted no time in reaching out to contacts and applying for mountains of positions on Indeed, on company websites, and the state hiring portal. Nobody has contacted him back. ONE hiring agency gave him a "maybe". Even I have applied to several places for myself, with not so much as a rejection.
Seeing the trauma this caused him first hand was my final fucking straw.
I'm sick to death of suffering this tragedy. I'm sick to death of hearing the love of my life, my Fiancé, cry because of how he was fired. And I'm sick to death of coming here or crawling to my friends and family for money they don't have because we're legitimately hopeless for it.
I don't have the heart to continually beg for cash. It was never something I've been good at or proud of doing, and it kills me inside to DM people for commissions I don't even have the time nor energy to do. I'm sick of this. All of this. I need it all to stop.
So of course, I want to nip this in the goddamn bud.
I met a very sweet vendor in Iowa who gave me a load of resources on how to get started selling my art on actual things I get to see and hold for myself and hand to people in person, namely conventions. It's a hell of a risk but I need this to work. I'm so exhausted from asking for money so please help me make this be the last time I ever need to come here for help.
More details will come, because I'm also tired of making plans and leaping forward without having anything to show for it. When I actually have these products designed, that's when I'm going to show you guys everything I've made, with as much detail on my thinking and planning as I can get out there (because lord knows the internet has taken advantage of people's generosity before).
When that time comes, please *please* give me your support. It would legitimately be world-changing for us.
I just wanted to get this out here asap so people would know what I'm going through and, hopefully plan along with me. I don't just want this to happen, I *need* this to *succeed*. I don't have any other option. Right now, I'm busting my ass on product designs (literally because this chair hurts!!), and Jay can attest to that.
I plan on having *something* to show for all my hard work by next week, and soon after, a Kickstarter to make it a reality. Keep an eye out!!
#im fucking exploding. im cannibalizing my hands as we speak#i open the wip. i look at my template or what ive completed so far. i fucking. seize up. i close the art program#even if i have the inspiration and i have the motivation..when i get there and i try to Conceptualize Ideas#i get this like. feeling of disgust and repulsion and frustration and apathy#and my body feels like i just ran a short distance (im out of shape so this is a Not Good feeling)#my heart is sinking and its like im depressed all over again and trying to get myself out of bed for the first time at rock bottom#why does this feel so impossible? why do i feel like im gonna throw up??#its just?? stickers????#i can do commissions without this feeling anymore but i cant make a little object for you to put on your notepad and forget about?? TxT;;#sometimes i wish i wasnt the way i was. i wish i had the youtuber type autism where i can focus on this nonstop because of Passion~ or w/e#my focus is so spotty i cant even do the one thing i was groomed to do my entire life#godddd#for the record. if u read this far#im fine in like. every other aspect of my life#im healthy both mentally and physically. well. healthier than ive ever been at least. maybe i could get more sleep fkgjfk but#im not unconfident in my skills. im not unsure of what im going to draw. i have a list of things.#i have concepts for a good chunk of these sticker designs#but like. i open the document and i want to die#but if i dont do this. if i cant make these product designs then we will only suffer. i havent gotten any call-backs (from places who are#VERY obviously hiring!!)#this is my like. Do Or Die mentality kicking in. if i dont do this then we cant save money to move to a more affordable place.#we'll continue to run completely dry on cash. rent is all we can afford right now and it'll stay that way unless we can find another income#and this is all i can do that could possibly work#i really dont want to open up commissions yet because i cannot keep relying on my friends. i NEED to branch out#if i dont then. i dont know what we'll do#im scared. why cant i get my brain to work on this? they're easy and simple and nice. but.#god. i cant do this. i need some way to make this process easier.#intercom#vent
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hello 🥰 i dont remember if i’ve sent this before, but in case i havent, please listen to “Gold to Me” by the Dirty Heads. (idk if they have multiple versions but if they do, the one from the acoustic album)
i always picture steve being down or upset about something, maybe post mission. and bucky’s already gotten him fed and showered and theyre both in soft clothes, but bucky can tell steve is still tense and tired. so bucky puts some music on, and when this song comes on he grabs steve’s hands to get him up and gently guides him in a little playful dance and like twirls him around a little.
and by the end theyre in each other’s arms rocking back and forth together and bucky is singing softly in what used to be steve’s good ear and things arent fixed, but theyre better. 💙
Whenever the times get rough Whenever you've had enough Whenever the shine wears off Forever, you're still gold to me You're still gold to me Cool is the temperature we always staying frozen This is the colour of our life we staying golden Strong is our bond deep is our love deep as that ocean Weeding through the fake and gravitating to devotion I'm tearing down all these walls that surround me Open up my mind and let my voice start shining Speak the truth react the words spoken Hold on to these walls I've been holding you Whenever the times get rough Whenever you've had enough Whenever the shine wears off Forever, you're still gold to me (repeat once) You're still gold to me High is the state of mind I mean I move slow motion Calm is the energy I give my mind is open I've seen so many people live their life with hate inside It blows my mind to think that he just can't focus on that brighter side I hear the sounds of your song all around me Open up your heart and feel this love that's surrounding Speak the truth react the words spoken Hold on to these ones that stay gold to you In time I'll tell who your friends are Keep em close keep your enemies closer I believe there is good in all Then some lose their way and fall Yet I remain true Whenever the times get rough Whenever you've had enough Whenever the shine wears off Forever, you're still gold to me (repeat chorus twice) You're still gold to me
I don't think you've sent this before because I am sure I would remember. I mean, just, that song! And your ideas surrounding it! 😫😫 My heart!! I can so easily picture them swaying, Bucky humming along while Steve sniffles a little, trying his best to pretend he isn't.
I love it, I love it, I love it
Thank you for sharing!
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Well, here’s a first chapter for y’all! Disclaimer it’s a little long, so be prepared for scrolling. I had a lot of fun writing this one
(if you havent read the prologue might wanna do that)
Chapter One: A Meal, An Encounter, and A Walk
He should be dead.
Somehow, though, he was alive.
But it felt like the opposite.
There was the left-over pain from the shadows, and on top of that, his face stung terribly. But he was alive, and he’d take that. Elliot didn’t open his eyes yet, still getting used to the fact that there was more life to live, and how he was going to use it.
It felt like he was laying on grass, or something of the likes. At any rate it was quiet, and he needed this moment of peace. He was lucky to snag them whenever he could, few and far between.
Finally he groaned and wrenched his eyes open. Grey sky greeted him overhead. He was laying on damp brush, rough and overgrown. Not too far from his original guess. A few trees dotted the land around, but he saw no other living form on this desolate wasteland.
Mustering all his energy, he slowly sat up, his head throbbing from the effort. He still had his traveling cloak over his shoulders, but whoever had put him here didn’t think to give him a bag or something?
Whoever had put him here…
Elliot looked around, then yelped.
On a rather large rock to his left, a black-clad figure sat, watching him. He wore a rather curious black mask around his eyes. A few strands of white hair peeked out from under his black hood. A scarf waved in the breeze, and a sword was buckled at his side.
All in all, he looked quite impressive, and like he could kill Elliot any second.
The black-cloaked young man quirked a small smile, his eyes completely concealed so Elliot couldn’t see any emotion from there. Clearly he knew Elliot had seen him but made no move towards his sword.
Elliot remained perfectly still, eyes wide and heart thumping. Did this person bring him here? Or simply stumble upon him? Not knowing made him feel even more helpless.
After a moment of the two staring at each other, the young man deftly hopped off his rock and strode towards Elliot, quickly closing the few yards between them. His boots flattened the tall grass, forming a temporary path.
Elliot swallowed, knowing he should run, but he was half curious what this stranger wanted, plus he doubted he could run faster.
The stranger stopped right in front of Elliot, who was still on the ground, staring up at him.
What he could see of his face betrayed no emotion as he reached a hand down, in the direction of his sheathed sword.
Elliot squeezed his eyes shut, frantically trying to shuffle back in the process. But when he heard no telltale shhhk of the weapon being drawn, he cautiously opened his eyes again.
A grey-gloved hand was outstretched in front of him.
Confused, ELliot looked back up at the stranger, who nodded his head towards his hand.
After a moment's hesitation, Ellliot limply grabbed it, his joints popping as the stranger pulled him to standing. Elliot dusted himself off, wobbling a bit. His face still hurt and he was terribly sore, but it was something he could bear to live with.
“Careful, traveler. Might get stepped on down there,” the stranger said. His voice didn’t quite match the rest of his outward appearance. Lower, a little hesitant but still confident. Elliot didn’t yet know if he could trust this stranger, but a part of him very much wanted to.
“Uh--em--tha-thank you,” Elliot warbled out, rubbing at his hands.
The stranger tipped his head slightly to the left. “And you are welcome.”
“Wh-who are you?” Elliot asked, knowing that stereotypical question had to be asked at some point.
“Around here you can call me Reaper.”
Elliot blinked. “Around here?”
“Yes.” He offered no further explanation. “I trust you are in need of food?”
Elliot hadn’t gotten there in his train of thought yet, but when it came around he found he was quite ready to board the car of food. His stomach grumbled hard when he found that inside this car were piles of food-breads, fruits, soups, and sweets. “Yes,” he said aloud, adding a hasty, ‘sir,” because it sounded safer.
Reaper smiled, pulling a wrapped parcel out of a bag hidden under his cloak. Inside were contents that added more memories to his car of food. A loaf of bread with a bit already broken off, a chunk of cheese, and an apple. He sat on the hard ground in one swift motion, crossing his legs underneath him and spreading the food on the paper, placing it on the ground.
Elliot clumsily sat across from Reaper, hungrily eying the food as more items filled his car as he looked at them.
Reaper tilted his head, as if studying him. “Go on.”
Elliot grabbed at the bread, tearing a hunk off and stuffing it in his mouth. He tried to go slow, act like he had some idea of manners, but the food tasted so good in comparison to what he was used to. Fresh bread--a rare thing for him. He was more used to barren soups, thin, watery things. This tasted a thousand times better, and Elliot felt himself feeling a sense of peace--despite dining with a stranger.
“So tell me,” Reaper said, watching Elliot eat, “how a High Elf like you wound up sixty miles from Orlem.”
He was that far away?
Elliot glanced down at his left hand, which bore the mark of a High Elf--black swirls along the side. He rubbed it. “I don’t know,” he said truthfully. So then, Reaper hadn’t brought him here? Just...found him? He reached for the apple and took a meek bite, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
“Quite a scar,” Reaper said after a few more minutes of almost quiet, save Elliot’s chewing.
Elliot trailed a finger along the ridge, not trusting himself to be able to say anything. He ducked his head, letting his long hair hang over his face. He had finished eating and stared down at the ground, his head aching not just from physical wounds, but from memories triggered by it. Terrible memories. He willed them away, but it didn’t really go away. Just retreated until another vulnerable moment.
Why was he here? He was certain his father--no, the king--had killed him. He didn’t deserve the title father anymore. Elliot could bear king but not father.
And who was Reaper? Why was a random stranger being so kind to this small Elf boy? Elliot didn’t deserve this. He’d never even had someone really be nice to him before. Except Moss. But she was gone.
“Wh-where are we?” he asked Reaper, dragging himself out from his maze of thoughts.
“About a mile from Holden,” Reaper answered.
Holden. A town. Elliot had never been there, his few leavings of Orlem, the capital of Lucero, north rather than east, where Holden lay. He’d studied the geography of Lucero and the neighboring kingdoms, Chexon and Andromarche, before, so he vaguely knew the rough area.
What was so important about Holden? Was there a reason he had woken up here? Or was it simply...more convenient? He could think of plenty of wasteland around Orlem that would’ve suited the same need, but was closer.
“So…” Elliot started, trying to order his thoughts. “You--found me?”
Reaper nodded. “I was headed to Holden and came upon you. I couldn’t exactly leave someone in your, ah, condition.” For some reason Elliot got the feeling he didn’t mean his wounds.
Reaper rubbed his neck in an almost grabbing way. “To put it this way--most you meet will not sympathize with you. Since Loot has the throne, life has been difficult for most people, from cause of Elves.”
Oh. Elliot let that sink in. Because...of his father, people just associated elves with bad? And Reaper didn’t even know his father was the king.
“You’re lucky I found you,” Reaper added, snapping a twig in his gloved hands and making Elliot jump.
The world suddenly seemed a very messy place, and he’d been thrust in headfirst with no warning. He wasn’t quite sure what to do or say, so he just took another bite of bread.
“Now I know you probably don’t completely trust me,” Reaper continued, “and you just met me twenty or so minutes ago, but we can’t stay here very long. Benedons roam these parts, but the closer we move to Holden, the safer we are.”
Elliot definitely didn’t want to have to encounter a Benedon, a fanged, sharp-clawed creature. And there was a part that desperately wanted to trust Reaper. If he’d wanted to kill him, he could’ve. Elliot didn’t doubt that. But he hadn’t--and he’d given him food. So he had at least one good reason to trust him. But was it enough? He didn’t know who lay behind the mask. For all he knew, they were nowhere near Holden and Reaper was really leading him to his death.
He could never know.
But there was only one way to truly be sure.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll go.”
“Good,” Reaper said, looking around. “Because I doubt you have a choice.” He looked back at Elliot. “Rest a while longer--you don’t yet look strong. Then we will leave.”
Elliot nodded, wondering how he was supposed to rest.
Turns out he didn’t have to think about it, for he lay back in the grass and promptly fell asleep.
He woke up some time later to see Reaper anxiously studying the sky, where the grey had grown darker. He hadn’t noticed Elliot was awake.
Slowly he sat up, rubbing the cloud from his eyes and head. Reaper looked over and saw him. “Good, you’re awake,” he said. “We should be off. If it stays clear we should make it before nightfall, but it looks like storms. Though I know a shelter if we need it.”
Elliot listened to his words in silence. When Reaper had finished he made his way to standing with an amount of effort. His legs were sore and his head began to hurt again, but he made it. Reaper nodded.
“You seem well enough to walk. You feel so?” he asked, shifting the sword scabbard around his waist.
“I-I think so,” Elliot repeated, trying to convince himself that the words were true.
“Then off we will be,” Reaper replied with a readiness to his voice that Elliot couldn’t quite match.
They began to walk east, though it was hard to tell with the clouded sky, but Reaper seemed to know the direction, which didn’t really surprise Elliot. His strength still was weak, but he managed to get in a groove to walk, heaving breaths but refusing to ask for a rest, wanting to prove he could do this.
Yeah, well, he wasn't convincing himself.
At all.
They walked in silence, Reaper still kept looking at the sky, making Elliot start to worry himself if they would get caught in the rain. They had been walking for about forty-five minutes when Elliot felt it.
A drop of wet.
At first he thought it was a bead of sweat from how hard he was pushing himself, but when he felt another, he looked up, confused. Another drop hit him right between the eyes. “Um-eh-Reaper?” he said in a quiet tone. Reaper didn’t hear him. “R-reaper?”
Reaper looked at him. “Yes?” He wouldn’t feel the rain with his hood and cloak, Elliot figured.
Elliot opened his mouth to speak, when the whole sky opened up. He was drenched in approximately twenty one seconds.
Reaper let out a frustrated huff of air, the first time Elliot saw him drop the calm facade. “Come on--there’s a place just over this next way.”
“How far?” Elliot asked, but was lost in the torrent. He followed Reaper, almost running in the rain. His cloak was soaked through, his hair dripping rain in his eyes. He could barely see ten feet ahead of him, but he could see Reaper’s scarf, and followed that blindly like a lighthouse on a ravaging sea.
He squinted, rainwater running into his eyes and his strength almost completely gone, but if Reaper promised shelter--he would push himself as much as he could to get to it and out of this rain.
Finally he saw a blur of yellow. He wiped his eyes and it focused into a small building that was just coming into view from behind a small hill. “I-is that it?” he had to pretty much shout to Reaper over the wet.
“Yes,” Reaper called back. “We will stop there.”
Elliot let out a breath of relief. Finally, he could rest. He could stop and maybe, just maybe, feel safe. Of course, that was making a rather large assumption, but one could dream, couldn’t they? If you weren’t even safe enough to dream, then you were truly cut off from your largest freedom.
Then a crack of lightning struck somewhere close and he jumped, knocked from his thoughts yet again, remembering that he was still in the middle of a storm.
The building--or whatever--was closer now, and thanks to the light from within, he could make out Reaper, the clouds completely snuffing out the natural light. It wasn’t quite nighttime yet, but it was darkening towards it.
Elliot wrapped his dripping cloak around himself, utterly miserable in the wet, feeling like a cat out here. Finally, finally, he and Reaper stepped onto the small porch of the shack, sheltered after what felt like an eternity.
Reaper threw his soaked hood back, his white-grey hair also dripping into his black mask, but he kept that on. “We may have to stay here through the night,” he told Elliot, looking out at the desolate, wet land around. “Walking around in this isn’t quite my fancy, though we are not far from Holden.”
Elliot only nodded, trying to peer through one of the windows that opened onto the porch, but there was a cloth thrown across it on the inside, blocking his view. “What is this place?” he asked Reaper.
“Think of it like an inn for us...vagabonds,” Reaper said. “But less ravish.”
“Oh.” Vagabonds? Was he considered that now? Reaper definitely fit that category, at least from the time he’d known him. But he wouldn’t have labeled himself one before, but maybe now.
“Well then,” Reaper said, wringing the end of his cloak off and dripping into small puddles on the ground, “shall we go inside?”
Elliot definitely had no idea what to expect in this ‘inn for vagabonds’, in Reaper’s terms. But he supposed he would have no idea what to expect of anything he encountered from here on out.
“I-I guess we will,” he said, swallowing and moistening his throat, ironically enough the only part that seemed dry.
Reaper opened the wooden door, and it whined on the hinges. Then he and Elliot stepped inside, out of the external terrors, and into the internal mysteries.
#wip#my writing#writers on tumblr#silverstars writes#elliot loot#reaper#my ocs#how the son of shadows was cast out#chapter one#i don’t remember the word count so ehe#and it bugs me how it won’t copy paste indents#but I don’t feel like editing every single line#also are y’all fine just me posting it here#don’t know if you’d prefer or if it’s easier to read it on the doc#*shrug*
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OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA
first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION
here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.
MAGNUS' CHAPTER
LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO
AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY
SCREAM
oh
alec shaved his beard because it made him look older
RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??
magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg
“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”
“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.
Im not even surprised at this point
“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.
“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.
Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.
IM WHEEZING
DAVID BAKES
“David made it,” Max said shyly. "
Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”
Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.
And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.
ALEC STOP TEASING HIM
THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED
“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”
“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.
ALEC
“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”
“Compensated how?” Alec asked.
“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”
when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv
iykyk
but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself
“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”
The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.
“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.
Alec blinked at that.
the secret...
I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD
is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?
what if i cried
i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont
“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”
“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”
RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS
THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES
how tf do you think we have survived huh??
medicine that's how
vaccines, anti biotics and what not
stop being close-minded and fucking do it
ok i know the risk is great
BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE
it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.
And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.
how things change...
what
say what
the causes are what
ok let's not jump to conclusions
im fucking crying wtf
alec doesnt deserve this shit
all he's done is make the world a better place
hes worked so hard on this
RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF
what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am
He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.
Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.
please alec
no please
THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES
Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.
AND I'LL GO WITH HIM
KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY
AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET
blue and gold
STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN
The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.
HUH
HUHU
HUH
omg
GIGI GETTING A SIBLING
“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”
thats my boi
GASP
]THE NECKLACE
rafael is growing into the consul voice
they grow up so fast
nope nope he's still the little 5 year old
voice cracking what do you mean he's 20
im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?
Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.
He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.
well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)
“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.
"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.
me with all my online friends
probably more miles
Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.
me
But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.
NOT NOW
LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION
HUSH
“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.
“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”
AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV
i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are
time to google
OK PRETTY
Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.
dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY
“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.
Max-
Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.
HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ
it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING
“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”
“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”
“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”
yes.
Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.
Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.
Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.
muffled sob
“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.
Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.
“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”
why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me
ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU
“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”
IM SCREAMING
Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.
i need that top
DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC
AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET
The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.
OH MY GOD THE CHAOS
Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”
“No,” they all replied in chorus.
LET GIGI MELT IT
SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU
“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”
“Why?” Rafael asked.
“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.
“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”
“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.
YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED
AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS
he actually gave to camille first-
Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?
why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????
oh shit
well well well
david bby stfu
i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes
“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”
“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.
MAX NO-
OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM
oh no
pls dont fight
oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet
all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent
dont mind me just
NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID
GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS
don't do this to me at 3 am
OK THE DILF PART
thank you for adding light into my life again
(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-
ANYWAY
wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this
ok i got bored of the rain)
that made me laugh through my tears
“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”
“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.
“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”
“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”
LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU
“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”
David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.
“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.
“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”
“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.
“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.
THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD
“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”
add me to it
ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE
“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”
“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”
“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”
“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”
“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.
“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.
David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.
“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.
Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”
She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.
“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”
“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”
He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.
“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.
WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe
TELL ME
AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT
google translator time
oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila
Magnus you're such a good father
seriously
“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”
YES
SAY IT LOUDER
THEY ARE UNDER THE BED
AHHH MAX AND DAVID
DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH
Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-
Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.
of course, he did smh I love him so much
“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”
David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”
“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”
the beloved relatives yes
“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”
JACE
OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING
damn it
oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking
just lemme have this moment
my boy's lungs will be intact
HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK
“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.
Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”
SCREAMING
In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.
what
wait
THE PROPHETIC DREAMS
nope nope nope
Nah I don't know what you're talking about
haha
damn, I think I really hurt my back...
OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????
"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH
alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)
OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...
I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!
OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.
I hope your knee and back feels better soon!
also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.
I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.
Take care!
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In The End (The Best Boys)
Warnings:For the love of god everyones doing too much, yelling, not proof read
Series Masterlist
You took in a deep, shaky breath.Rafe bit his lip, leaning down to kiss you gently. “Lets go downstairs, okay?”He asked, large hand going to hold yours.You nodded, slowly sitting up with a slight pain in your abdomen.
He went into your closet to get you something loose and soft, helping you get dressed. “Im sure hes fine, alright?Dont worry.”He grinned, kissing the top of your head.The two of you sat anxiously on the couch, listening for Kelce’s car.
You jumped when you heard the car door slam, your door opening a few moments later.His breathing was fast and shallow, eyes wide and sweat dripping from his hairline and tears falling from his eyes.He didnt say anything, hands shaking as he stared back at you.Rafe’s hand was sitting on your thigh, almost trying to hold you back from going to Kelce.
You werent sure if the action was out of jealousy or if he was just worried about you trying to approach Kelce while he was in this state of mind.It didnt matter though.Once the slight shock had worn off you quickly made your way to Kelce, wrapping your arms tight around him.
He was shaking under your touch, a few of his tears falling into your hair as he leaned against you with his arms around your shoulders. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”You repeated, rubbing his back.He shook his head, squeezing you so hard that it hurt.
You looked over to Rafe, trying to figure out what had happened. “Im sorry.”Kelce sobbed, whistling sounds coming from his nose as he tried to take deep breaths.Your hand moved to run through his hair and rub the back of his neck, feeling him start to relax a bit
. “Kelce….what happened?”You asked, your thumb tracing over his cheekbone lightly.He didnt move away from you, squeezing you tighter.He could tell by the way you and Rafe kept looking at eachother that he was freaking you guys out and it didnt exactly help with how stressed he was.
“I dont know what to do.”He cried, his nose starting to run.You didnt know what to do either, holding him and whispering into his ear.He closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths, listening to you.It couldve been minutes or hours, you werent exactly sure but it didnt really matter.
Rafe was just confused, not understand how to help or what could have happened to make Kelce act like this.You eventually got him to stand up, holding your hand as you practically dragged him.He sat on your counter, hands shaking as you got him some water and squeezed lemon juice into it.
His eyes were puffy and red, eyebrows messed up and his nose was irritated.He was a mess.You werent sure if he’d be able to hold the cup on his own, putting it next to him for when he’d be able to. “You okay, little man?”You asked, offering him a towel to wipe his nose with.
He didnt answer but took the towel anyways, holding it to his nose.Rafe came into the kitchen, looking at Kelce with a puzzled expression.Kelce let his eyes fall to Rafe’s neck, letting out a low sigh.Topper was right.
“I dont know what happened...I just got mad and I dont know.I think I blacked out...I dont know.”He muttered.Rafe nodded, understanding. “I was on the phone with Topper.And he-he said that uh….that he told you something.”He glanced over to Rafe, taking in a deep breath.
Your heart dropped into your stomach, looking over to Rafe too. “And he told me...that you and Rafe are dating.I dont know...it’s stupid.”Kelce muttered, looking down into his cup.You bit the inside of your cheek, not sure how what to say or if you should deny it or not.
“Okay...um….okay.”You nodded, thinking about it.You hadnt considered Rafe your boyfriend, things hadnt really gotten that far yet when it came to feelings.Or maybe they had. “It doesnt matter...theres just so much happening and I got stressed and everything just happened so fast and I didnt know what to do.”He explained, squeezing the towel in his hand.
There was no way of getting out of this.Why did life have to be this way? “So um….whats the main problem here?”You asked, remembering how he’d ask you that when you had an anxiety attack.He squeezed the towel harder, wanting to scream.
“Everything is the main problem!I cant-I cant just pretend anymore!Ive been pretending for years and I just cant-do you know how fucked all of this is?”He asked, the towel falling to the floor.On instinct Rafe had pulled you closer to him, not sure what was going to happen but was more than shocked when you moved away from him.
“What do you mean you’ve been pretending?”You asked, not understanding what he was talking about.He laughed, his eyes watering again. “Havent you noticed?Four years, (Y/N)!Four fucking years i’ve been in love with you and you havent noticed and im trying my best to keep it from you cause its not your problem to deal with but its hard, okay?I’ve been trying to control myself and control everyone else and I know its fucked, alright?And then Rafe just takes you away and he knows too!And he’s known about Topper-thats so goddamn fucked!”Kelce exclaimed, standing up now.
He didnt even know what he was saying, ranting about all of his thoughts. “How are you so oblivious?How have you not seen the signs?dont you see how mad Topper gets when you’re all over Rafe?If you love Rafe thats fine but could you at least let us know so that we dont have that little bit of hope?Cant you just do that for me?”He asked, his breathing shallow.Rafe looked over at you too, waiting for you to reply.He knew he loved you.He had known for a long time that it was something more than a little crush.
Topper walked up your driveway, nearly losing his balance a few times on the way to your door that was open for some reason.He was glad that it was darker out so he didnt have to worry about wearing the ugly sunglasses his doctor told him to wear.
“Guys?”He called out, hearing shouts from the kitchen.Rafe peaked out from the kitchen, frowning when he saw Topper. “What the hell is going on?”The blonde asked, coming into the kitchen.You looked over at him before looking back over to Kelce. “Topper-I think you were right.”Kelce replied quietly, looking at you.
“Can you guys shut the hell up?”Rafe asked, becoming increasingly annoyed with the situation. “Kelce, man, I get what you’re trying to say but none of this is helpful, okay?”Rafe asked, surprising himself.This was usually Kelce’s job.
“No, Rafe, it’s not okay.I cant just pretend that I dont feel the things I do anymore.I get that you dont have to hide it anymore and thats fucking fantastic for you but I dont want to hide it either, ight?”Kelce took in a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
You felt Topper staring at you, regretting coming over here.He figured that he hadnt left things on the best note, wanting to come over and talk to you a little more since he was sure that he had freaked you out.
Somehow the four of you ended up on the floor, glancing at eachother as you all calmed down. “Rafe and I....we arent dating.”You spoke up, hoping that it wouldnt start another argument.
Rafe licked his lips, taking in a deep breath through his nose.He knew that it wasnt official but he hoped that you didnt see him as just a friend with benefits.
“You dont have to date someone to love them, (Y/N).”Topper reminded you, his eyes trapped on his casted arm that rested in its black sling.You huffed, resting the back of your head on the cabinets.
“I know, Top.I know....”You mumbled, tapping your fingertips on your kneecap. “Listen, im sorry for being a bitch.Its just...I dont know.I think I need to figure myself out.Between you guys and my parents I just bottle everything up.I shouldnt have blown up like that.”Kelce admitted, relieved when you reached over and squeezed his hand.
“I get it, bubs.You know you can always talk to us, right?”You asked, wanting to hug him tightly and never let go but you figured it woul probably be awkward for him under these circumstances.
“Yeah.”He replied, scratching at his eyebrow. “(Y/N)...you know we cant just forget that this conversation happened.We have to talk about this.”Topper spoke sternly, knowing that you would try to change the topic.Rafe nodded in agreement, wanting to know where he stood with you.
“I know, I know.But....I dont think I know how I feel if im being honest.But if-when I do ill let you guys know, okay?”You asked, your heart pounding in your chest.You were such a liar.You werent supposed to lie to your bestfriends.
They all mumbled, shrugging.It wasnt exactly understandable but you assumed that it was a yes anyways, slowly standing up.Your legs were still partly tingling because of Rafe but you were just glad you could walk.
“im going upstairs.You guys should just stay here for the night.”You told them, heading up to your bedroom quickly.You laid down on your bed, wishing that you had never slept with Rafe.Maybe that wouldnt make things so difficult for you right now.You couldnt imagine how upset you had made Rafe just a few moments ago.
“It doesnt matter if she ends up dating me, you know she cares about you guys more than anything else.”Rafe told them, biting the inside of his cheek.Topper chuckled, shaking his head.
“You always get everything you want, Rafe.You get all her attention and even when I was in the hospital all she cared about was you.”He replied, glaring at his friend.Kelce groaned, resting his head against his palm.
“We had to drag her out of the hospital, Topper.Literally.”He laid down on the tile floor, staring at the ceiling. “Come on, Kelce.She goes to you about everything.You know a whole side of her that we’ve never seen.That’s special.”Topper answered, wondering what kind of secrets Kelce knew that he didnt.Kelce’s eyes widened, sitting up again.
“Wait-she doesnt tell you guys about our cooking talks?”Kelce asked.They shook their heads, chuckling. “Nope, might as well tell us about it.”Rafe grinned, excited to hear stories.Kelce smiled, feeling his face heat up.That meant it was his special thing that he had with you and noone else.
“hmm...no.I’ll just keep it to myself.”Kelce answered, hearing them groan. “Wow, I see how it is.”Topper smiled.They sat on the floor talking for hours, eventually getting up and making a huge pot of ramen.
“So what did you miss most while you were in the hospital?”Kelce asked, stirring the noodles. “Movie nights, one thousand percent.”He grabbed a bowl from the cabinet.
He thought about it constantly at night when you were asleep next to him on the hospital bed.He wondered what movies you’d all be watching together if he hadnt left the house that night.Rafe smiled, grabbing a fork.
“We can have one of those now.I’ll go get (Y/N).”He turned to leave but was stopped by Kelce. “I’ll go.”He said quickly, not waiting for an answer before jogging upstairs.You had fallen asleep face down on your bed, snoring into the pillow.He stood in the doorway for a moment, listening to your breathing.
He sat at the foot of the bed, tapping your leg lightly. “Nooo....”You mumbled, moving your arms under the pillow to get more comfortable. “(Y/N), do you want some ramen?”Kelce asked, trying not to laugh.
“hmmm....”You hummed into the pillow. “(Y/N).”He whispered again. “Whatttt?”You asked, voice muffled by the pillowcase. “Ramen.”He repeated, feeling you shift around.
“What kind?”You asked, still half asleep. “Chicken with butter and garlic and fried egg.”He answered.You placed your head back on the pillow, thinking about it but slowly drifting into sleep again.
“(Y/N).”He laughed, laying down to face you. “Yeah?”You asked, eyes squinting. “Ramen.”He repeated once more.You hummed, wrapping your arms around him. “No.”You answered.
“You dont want ramen?”He asked, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “Yeah.”You answered, mouth slightly open as your face pressed against his shirt. “You want ramen?”He asked, scratching at your side.
“Yeah.”You answered, your voice high pitched from sleep. “You gotta get up.”He told you, smiling to himself when your grip tightened. “No.”You answered, your leg falling across his stomach.
“then you dont get ramen.”he answered. “Rude.”You grumbled, refusing to move off of him.He laughed, glad that you werent acting any different after everything that had happened.
He held on tight to you, rolling off the bed. “Put me down.”You yawned, wrapping your arms around him. “No.”He answered, walking down the stairs with you.The scent of ramen and garlic filled your nostrils, hearing a bowl being set down on the marble countertop.
Kelce put you down on one of the chairs, pushing a bowl of ramen in front of you.They were just poking at their noodies, swirling them onto their forks before letting it fall back into the bowl.
“My mom called.”Topper blew on some noodles before shoving them in his mouth. “Shes mad about the car.She’s still in California.”He replied, getting another bite full.
“At least you dont have to deal with her.”Rafe shrugged, looking for the brightside of things.Topper just hummed, staring into his bowl.None of you spoke after that, eating some ramen but not bothering to put the dishes in the sink.
“Topper wanted to have a movie night.”Rafe mumbled, glancing over to Topper.You simply nodded, getting up and going into the living room.You curled yourself up into the corner of the couch, a pillow to your chest.
Kelce was on the other end of the couch, Topper on the floor next to him while Rafe sat not too far in front of you, reaching for the remote.Everything just felt so dead.
You wanted to reach out and play with Rafe’s hair or lean against Kelce but you knew not to for the sake of the others.You tried watching the movie, the volume low so that it wouldnt hurt Topper’s head.
It was some sort of dog movie from the early 2000s.Kelce was the first to fall asleep, snoring against the arm rest.Rafe was confused, not understanding what was going on.He was the second to fall asleep, face in the carpet not even half way through the movie.
“Top, you awake?”You whispered, the movie in a dark scene right now. “Yeah, why?”He asked, looking over in your direction. “I dunno.You wanna talk?”You asked, keeping your voice quiet so you wouldnt bother Rafe or Kelce.Topper hummed, standing up slowly.
“You wanna go outside?”He asked, already heading for the slider door.You followed him outside, hearing crickets and the sound of you pool.The two of you sat on the pavement by the water, staring at the lit up pool.
“What do you want to talk about?”He asked, sticking his feet into the water.You just shrugged, not really knowing. “Do you wanna talk about earlier?”You asked, hoping that it wasnt too forward.
“What about it?”He asked.You sighed, regretting bringing it up again. “I dont know, I just think we left off at a bad note.”You replied, sticking your hand in the water out of curiosity. “Yeah, yeah we did.But its either you love me or you dont, either is fine.”He replied, ignoring the pit in his stomach.
You remained silent, thinking. “Do you think its possible to love more than one person at a time?”You asked.His eyebrows raised at your words, blowing out a puff of air.
“Well, its possible to hate more than one person at a time.Love and Hate are the same thing in the end.”He answered, kicking his feet back and forth under the surface of the water.
“What does that mean?”You asked, not used to him saying things like that. “Well think about it.Love is just an extreme like and hate is just an extreme dislike.So if it was in a circle that means that hate and love touch.”He answered, dragging his fingernail against the pavement to make a small circle.
You nodded, flicking his finger. “So you think I can love more than one person at once?”You asked, wanting him to clarify.He nodded slowly. “I mean, you love Bucky and Henry Bowers and Jack Frost.Real people arent that different.We might be less attractive but not that different.”He answered, reaching for your hand.
“Its okay if you havent figured things out yet, just let me know when you do.”He flashed you a grin that you could tell wasnt genuine. “But you know I love you no matter what, right?Like....even if I dont love you like that I still love you.”You told him, squeezing his hand lightly.
He nodded. “I know, bitch.”He laughed. “The only bitch here is you, bottom.”You replied, hoping he wouldnt push you into the water. “Last time I checked I wasnt a female dog.”He smiled, chuckling when you rolled your eyes. “What are you?12?”You asked.He nodded. “On the inside.”He replied.
Two chapters left-FUCK IM NOT READY
@sweetlittlegingy @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor @chinamolina602 @sexytholland @28cnn @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything @annmariek8 @stupidpendeja @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl ��@simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @rae131415 @annmariek8 @harryswigss @ibookofstars @popeheywards
#rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron headcanon#topper thornton#topper thorton x reader#topper thorton imagine#topper imagine#kelce outer banks#kelce imagine#kelce obx#kelce x reader#the best boys
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Chronic Emptiness
Fred x reader
After the war
Summary: Y/N having a depressive episode & Fred trying to help her through it. Basically me living vicariously through her. Soft moment.
Warning: Mentions of depression & plainly feeling like shit
——————
Y/N was exhausted. Not by her job or work, just mentally drained. This sort of thing happened sometimes. One moment she was okay, the next it all came crashing down on her & she’d feel pure hatred for the world she was living in. Fred had gotten used to it by now, he’d be the ever so caring boyfriend & try to help her through it however he could. Exept he really couldnt do much but reassure Y/N that he was there for her.
And of course Y/N appreciated him & all his efforts, she loved Fred more than life itself & everyone knew that. But sometimes she just needed space. Like today.
They were at a bar with George & Angelina and several other mates after their shifts had all ended from their various occupations. George & Fred at their joke shop, Angelia at the Ministry, Y/N at St Mungos.
Y/N never truly felt like she belonged, not growing up at home, not at Hogwarts, & certainly not in St Mungos where she was working as a nurse. Its not that she hated the job, more like it didn’t particularly cause her immediate joy. She just did it. She got on with it & did what she had to.
As her friends were dancing to the music Y/N leant into her boyfriends ear so he’d hear her say “Hey Fred I think I’m gonna head home early today, I’m tired.”
The man looked up at her, as if trying to read her thoughts “D’you want me to come with love?”
Y/N shook her head, declining the offer “No dont worry. I’ll go through the park, I need some fresh air anyway.” Fred nodded & bid her goodbye with a kiss, telling her to stay safe. “I’ll see you at home.”
It was already dark outside, the tall streetlamps being the main source of light for the woman, but she wasnt really paying attention to where she way going, not caring enough to look. Y/N got to the park near the flat where her & Fred lived, deciding to make a pitstop there she sat on one of the wooden benches that overlooked a small river.
Letting out a heavy sigh she put her head into the palms of her hands, it was feeling all too heavy lately. “Dear Merlin I’m so tired.” Mumbling, the woman rolled her head in her hands before sitting back up and gazing at the sky. Oh how beautiful it looked tonight.
Lighting up a cigarette, she put it to her lips & took a long inhale. She was supposed to be quitting smoking, Fred always got on her about continuing the habbit. In all honesty Y/N didnt care enough to stop, at this point she wasnt even sure if she still got the same boost of seratonin from smoking as she used to. But again, it didnt bother her.
“Fuck me why is life so draining?” She asked no one in particular, she knew why it was draining, the abundance of issues with her brain promptly being the answer. She just wished it were easier. Easier to deal with things.
Realistically Y/N had nothing to be unhappy about anymore, there was no war, she had a good life, an amazing boyfriend, a stable job, decent friends. But there was a permanent void in her heart that could never be filled. Ever since she was a child it stayed with her. Maybe her cold & harsh, unloving parents brought it on, or maybe how she didnt let herself feel love & would distance herself from anyone that ever got close to her. But it was there. Unmovable.
The woman let the smoke out from her mouth, sighing at why she was having another one of her episodes, feeling shitty about having said episode. Yet, there was nothing she could do to stop it from occuring. “Fuck off brain.” She mumbled to herself, cursing her biology & upbringing “Stop feeling so Shit.”
“I keep you alive you ungrateful idiot.” She huffed to herself “And I’m doing a pretty good job, so stop making me feel like its my fault.” It wasnt her fault. If it were, Y/N would know how to fix it & evidently stop feeing this way.
Some would say the war brought this Y/N on, but people knew that she was like this way before. However, before she was better at hiding it. Better at hiding the dark circles, the restlessness, the ‘I dont care what happens to me’ attitude. In all honesty it didnt bother Y/N that people knew she was like this, she didnt do it on purpose. And when she could- she’d be happy- the life of the party, in those instances she could hide her feelings. But sometimes they just got too overwhelming to bare.
“You’re being such a selfish prick.” She sighed and puffed on yet another cigarette “Go home Y/N. Go to the man who loves you.” Yet she made no motion to move. It’d probably been two hours since she left the bar, she wasnt keeping track of time, not feeling the need to.
Sometimes she thought that Fred didnt love her, not because he said something or did something, but because she thought that Fred puts up with her. Which wasn’t true, the man loved her to death, she made him feel alive. Y/N was a risk taker, an adventurer, someone that kept you on your toes- & he admired that about her. Y/N was smart & funny & the most gorgeous person Fred had ever seen, but he knew that behind her sarcasm & faux narcissistic comments, she didnt believe it. Oh what he’d give for the woman to see herself through his eyes.
A few more minutes passed & the woman got up with a sigh, throwing the butt of her cigarette down, she made her way home.
The door creaked open, a little too loudly for Y/N’s taste, she winced at the sound, hoping it wouldnt wake Fred.
“Where were you?” The light flicked on. Before her stood a dischevelled Fred, arms crossed “I got home and you werent here.”
“I was in the park.” She mumbled, taking her coat off “Lost track of time, sorry.”
Fred looked at the woman before him, he noticed the dark circles that she tried to cover prefousley with makeup, noticed the ash on her jacket and faint aroma of smoke mixed with sadness.
“Its fine.” He reassured her and went to hug her, pretending to not notice her cold body & how she stiffened when he touched her “Just let me know next time alright?”
The woman hummed in agreement and walked into the living room, as she sat on the couch she put the tv on to play some sort of muggle program but not really paying attention to it. She just didnt fancy Fred interrogating her about her feelings. She hated talking about them, normally just botteling them up. Maybe that was the cause of her unhappiness.
A few moments went by & she thought Fred had went to bed, but then she felt the couch sink next to her. “Here” he placed a blanket around her & handed her a hot mug of tea “You’re freezing.” Mumbling a thanks she sipped on her drink, not really feeling like talking she waited for him to say something, anything.
And he did “Is it getting bad again?” Oh. Was it? Probably. Most definitely.
“I’m fine.” She lied “I’ll be fine.” Y/N wasnt convincing anyone.
Fred watched her, not knowing what to say or do. He wished he could help, just magically cheer up the love of his life. But thats not how life worked. “You’re good enough.” He blurted out “You deserve to feel happy.”
Y/N didnt look up at him, she knew Fred was trying to help. But was he? I dont know.
“Do I though, do I really?” She finally asked with a sigh, those seemed to be coming from her a lot lately “Because I know I do, I just dont feel it coming to me and its so draining to get on with life when you feel worthless.”
Fred took in what she just said, pausing before trying to come up with a reasonable response “I know.” He sighed “I want to help you Y/N, what can I do?” What could he do though? Realistically?
“I dont know. Nothing. This’ll pass soon enough and I’ll be okay.”
Fred knew that, Y/N was always ‘okay’ or ‘fine’ or ‘just tired’ “But I want you to be better than okay. I want you to be happy, to enjoy life and all its moments.”
Y/N scoffed “And you think I dont want that?” There was a tense silence
“Why dont we take the day off tomorrow and go out somewhere? We havent done that in a while.” Fred suggested. It was true, with both of them being bombarded by work they hardly saw eachother in the last few months.
“Sure.” Y/N smiled sickly and set her tea down “Yeah alright I’ll just sack my job off to have a fun little date with you eh? Why not risk getting fired just because I’m feeling a little moody huh?”
Fred was taken aback by her words and immediately went back on what he said “If you dont want to thats fine I-“
“Im sorry” she cut him off “I’m sorry, that was a dick move I didnt mean it, just everythings gotten so much-“ she put her feet up on the couch to hug them “Im sorry.” A few stray tears fell onto her knees
Fred moved closer to her “Hey, its okay, its okay dont worry. I understand.” Oh sweet understanding Fred, Fred who gave you unconditional love and support. Fred who you keep snapping at.
Moments pass as he embraces you, your body leaning against his heavily. Not sure whether its the exhaustion or something else “I dont deserve you.” You mumble into his chest. He frowns cups your face in his hands, you lean in to his warm touch.
“Dont say that” you let out a quiet sob “Y/N you deserve the absolute world, and I wish I could give it to you & more. If I could take away your pain, I would. In an instant I would. You dont deserve to feel like this, to think like this. But I’m here for you okay. I love you, so fucking much you don’t understand.” He gazed into her eyes, wishing she could feel how much he meant it “You’re the best thing that happened to me & I’m going to prove it to you, whatever it takes Y/N.” He kissed your nose before letting you hug him tighter, relieved that you no longer shrunk away from his touch “Words cant express how much I love you.”
After a few more tears fall, Y/N laughs into his chest “Good because you’re stuck with me.”
Fred grins to himself “I wouldnt have it any other way.”
#slytherin#harry potter#hogwarts#hufflepuff#gryffindor#ravenclaw#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black#draco malfoy#fred wesley#fred weasley imagines#fred weasley imagine#fred and george#Spotify#depressing things#george weasley#sirius black imagines#fanfic#ron weasley#gryffinpuff#hermione granger#fred weasley x slytherin#slytherin x gryffindor
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media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?
Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me
Dead Poets Society (1989)
One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol
Quadrophenia (1979)
This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film
Cabaret (1972)
Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie
It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)
This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen
The Dirties (2013)
Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha
Logan's Run (1976)
Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie
Donnie Darko (2001)
Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending
American Psycho (2000)
Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.
Clockwork Orange (1971)
Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol
Creep (2014)
Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck
Hereditary (2018)
If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend
Gattaca (1997)
This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie
The Truman Show (1998)
God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up
A Scanner Darkly (2006)
A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good
Fight Club (1999)
Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp
Harold and Maude (1971)
This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend
Polyester (1981)
This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre
Fargo (1996)
Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great
Memento (2000)
GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it
Almost Famous (2000)
This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad
Parasite (2019)
Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao
The Warriors (1979)
Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie
12 Monkeys (1995)
THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing
Waking Life (2001)
Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.
Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear
#long post#movies#film#cinema#cinephile#ask#movie recommendations#you have no obligation to read all that#really shows how bored i am that i wrote out this whole fuckin thing on my phone lmao#youre welcome?
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Kyoya x reader
Secret crush
Summery: kyoya just knew he liked you from the way you walked to the way you care for others. You were a family friend of kyoya so he had known you since birth, he had secretly liked you for awhile but family buisnness got in the way. You guys havent talked in a while but when you joined the host club his heart stopped.
Trigger warnings: Drinking, arguing, fluff, slapping
A/N: I hope you like this, I've been having writers block lately but this idea inspired me!! Anyway enjoy!
Koya's eyes widened, his heart racing like horses on a race track. Out of everyone in the school, Tamaki had to choose you to be the new host, a girl he had known since birth, a female he had liked for forever but too stubborn to tell you. You meant everything to him but he let his work get in the way. He had pushed you away to focus on the family business as he tried to impress his father.
After the host introduced themselves you smiled, you couldn't help but stare at the black-haired glasses-wearing guy, he looked more mature than he did when you guys were little. His chest was buffer, his facial expression more serious. It was kinda...hot.
"Hi, my name is l/n y/n, second-year student!" You exclaimed introducing yourself to the hosts, you were honestly excited to get started. You were the first female to be in the club that will be working with guys (besides Haruhi at times). One thing you didnt except was that your childhood best friend/crush would be the manager of this type of club. I mean come on the Kyoya ootori a host? Kinda hard to believe, he wasn't the 'host' type.
"Well well well, got ourselves a cute little kitten~" the ginger-haired makes spoke in sync, your face became a light shade of pink "you're gonna be fun~," the one named Hikaru said resting his arm around your shoulders. Kyoya got pissed, he didn't want anyone to touch you but he didn't want anyone to know so he just watched from behind the black book he always writes in. "Wow Tamaki was right you two do look just alike!" You smiled, you can't believe the resemblance they had, identical twins!
It was a few hours before the club opens and you were just starting it up with the club. They told you how they wanted something more for the club, they wanted it to surpass high school, you found it quite amazing how hard they work just to please girls. "Oh that reminds me, you didn't get to meet kyoya when we introduced ourselves!" Tamaki exclaimed "no need me and y/n have known each other for years" kyoya interrupted, "she's a family friend" his voice monotone, never looking up from his book. The club mentally facepalmed, they knew there was a reason why you didn't talk to him. "Yup, but we kinds fell off in middle school..so we haven't really talked since then" your heart pulled at you're chest, it hurt you've loved him for so long yet he just pushes you away.
"I didnt seem you to be the host type kyoya" you exclaimed turning around to look at him, he smirked from behind the big black book "nor did I, tamki talked me into it" turning toward tamaki he was doing his little kingly pose "yes all my idea!" God he was full of it. "We must not delay the ladies and gentlemen-" he looked towards you "are going to be here soon! We must get the club ready" everyone nodded got to their designed spot but kyoya didnt move just sat there so you decided to sit with him at the back of the room. "So..how have you been" you shyly said, you noticed how he didnt even look up from his book not once. "If your attempting to small talk me its not gonna work, Y/N I'm a very busy man and I dont have time for silly small talk" this made your heart hurt, you knew he wouldnt really wanna see you but figured it's been so long since you've last seen each other, Guess you were wrong.
"O-okay" you put on a fake smile and walked to your designated spot fighting back tears. In the back of your head thinking maybe, just maybe he would be different. Hours have gone by and it was honestly a good first day, flirting with guys and them flirting back, even got a few numbers. Your population was growing quickly, I mean it should everyone knew at this point that your family was close to the ootori family so they wanted to get on your good side. School had ended at this point and you were waiting by the front gate for your ride, but thanks to the buisnness of your father and his driver he couldnt make it. You had gotten the text on your phone a few minutes ago that he couldnt make it, you only sighed not surprised but disappointed.
Sitting on the front gate fountain you sighed, how were you gonna get home? It was too far to walk and you didn't really know anyone well enough to get a ride with someone except..no, no you couldn't, he didn't wanna even talk to you let alone give you a ride home.
"Your father not coming?" A voice appeared out of nowhere. Looking up from the phone you see the devil himself, Kyoya. "Ah, no he's busy" a fake smiled crept on your face, he was the last person you wanted to see at the moment.
"Well seeing as we live close to each other it would only make sense you ride with me" his dace black his stare harsh, you didn't want to but yet you did. Only wanting to know why he pushed you away so much. "A-alright" you agreed, walking with him to his limo. "We're taking miss L/N home first" kyoya exclaimed to the drive, he only nodded and drive off. It was silent half of the way there till you got the guts to speak "Kyoya..why did you push me away" oh God why did you ask that your anxiety oh the frights now. He looked up at you and was silent for a quick second "Y/N you should know the answer. We are both very important people and we can't let a friendship get in the way of things" he huffed out "but we've known each other all this time why now" he was starting to piss you off, you just wanted your friend back, you wanted to see if y'all could be more. "Because my father's business is much more important than our petty friendship" tears were on the verge of your eyes, clenching your fist on your dress "why do you care so much" looking down and tears falling down your face "because I love you.." He eyes widened and his heart racing, did you really mean it? All this time he thought you were just playing him. "y/N I-" suddenly he was cut off by the sudden stop of the limo. "Don't bother kyoya like you said, your work is way more important than me" you got out of the limo leaving him speechless.
The last thing you remember about that night was running to your room and crying your eyes out, you even snuck into your dads room and stole some alcohol and chugged it, throwing it up instantly as your body wasn't use to it. Even though you kept puking you just kept drinking till eventually you were drunk off your ass making you fall asleep.
The next day the worst hangover hit you, school was the last thing on your mind but had no choice, after spending to much time in the bed past your alarm you got up and got ready for school. Arriving at school you went straight to the host club knowing everyone would be in there, rubbing your temple as you opened the door. "Wow Y/N you look like shit" one of the twins said you only grunted at their statement and sat down on the couch next to haruhi "jesus Y/N you smell like alcohol" the female dressed as a male (still valid) covered their nose. "Sorry didnt have time to shower, but damn I have a hangover like no tomorrow" rubbing your temple Mori handed you a water with a simple 'here'then walked away. The hosts was crowded around you wanting to know why you drank so much last night. "Listen guys I dont wanna talk about it." Kyoya was getting mad, a simple argument made you drink so much last nigh? He slammed his book closed causing everyone to be quiet, he stood up quickly and walked to you grabbing you by the hand causing you to stand "are you stupid? Drinking at your age, ruining your system" he stared you straight in the eyes "why do you care, why not just go write in your little book if yours." You harshly said making his jump back a little "if you weren't such a DICK maybe you would have more friends, maybe someone would love you MAYBE-" you were cut off by a pair if warm soft lips, it was kyoya, his hands on both side of your face. You never kissed back only stared at him in shock. Soon he let go of your alcohol tasting lips, "I do love you" you heart skipped a beat, beating as fast as it could go, tears formed at the edge of your eyes.
Slap
Your hand met his soft pale face as hot tears streamed down your face. "I love you more" you smiled then hugged him, guess this is a perfect life.
#ohshc#kyoya x reader#x reader#ohshc x reader#fanfic#ouran fanfic#ouran high school host club#ouran host club#tw#slapping#alcohol#drinking
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The Bracelet
X-Men Hank McCoy x insecure! female reader
Specifics/Warnings: angst, fluff, one-shot, race neutral reader
Words: 1,345
Requested: By @queengiuliettafirstlady do you write a lil angst insecure reader with hank like she thinks she is always the second wheel for evryone because first she fall for logan who loves jean and then she fall for hank who loves mystique and then once she yells all her frustation at remy his best friend and hank listen and then confronts her about it and then he confesses he loves her and she at first is angry because thinks he is lyng and then he swears he was telling the truth and kiss her and she says that she loves him too sorry if it was too long or too difficult to write I hope you will have fun and I am sure You will surely doo a great job because I already adore how you write last favor tag me when you publish it I Thank you have a nice day or night
Authors Note: my first hank fic. havent written marvel in a while so i kinda missed it. sorry i havent written in a while guys but i hope you like this.
Hank had just finished one of his latest projects and everyone was proud of him. He was so smart, most likely always the smartest in the room. It was something he had been working on it for quite some time now and you wanted to give him a gift.
In all your time at the X-mansion you had fallen in love and quickly have realized that you are not the one.
You smiled looking at the present you made him. It was a beaded bracelet you made that spelled out U R Awesome! “Its perfect,” you said lifting it high in the air to see it gleam within the sunlight.
You quickly raced to Hank’s room and accidentally bumped into Logan. Your eyes widened and you almost choked, “oops, sorry.” You were about to walk away until you saw Jean. Jean chuckled as she helped Logan up and leaned against him. You clutched the bracelet you made tightly. Your knuckles hurting. It was once upon a time but you had this immense love for Logan. He trained you in X-Men and you two had gotten close. You thought close as lovers but he thought friendship and instead went with Jean. The feeling has dissipated and instead been replaced with feelings for Hank. But you always felt worthless and unloved. You loved this guy and thought the world was yours and his and turns out no wait there is a third person in the mix and she is more important than you. You always felt like the third wheel with them and every person in the X-mansion that had a lover.
“No problem, just, be careful next time,” Logan grunted as Jean held onto his hand and they went on their merry way.
You pushed the past away and instead had a glimmer of hope with Hank. You skipped your way to his room and thought of all the things he would say. Would he like it? Is this too much? Would this give him the right or wrong ideas? You wanted to ask him on a date but you were nervous to. Pausing at his door you inhaled. You were an X-men. You’ve dealt with aliens, monsters, dead people coming back to life and yet this seemed the most challenging thing out of all those.
You opened the door and found Raven laughing with Hank. She had that glow. The glow that was present on people when they were in love. You experienced it too. Her cheeks were pink from blushing and she had her hand on Hank’s shoulder. That made you irate but what got to you was when she lifted up a box with a bow on it to Hank.
Your heart stopped and your lips trembled. You were too late. Hank opened the box and inside was a key?
“What is this?” Hank asked with a gleam in his eye and a raise of his brow.
“This is a key to your new set up. You got a desk, a ton of sciency stuff and more machines and notebooks to help you with your researches.”
Hank couldn’t believe it. He was shocked just as much as you. She was good. Really good. You stared down at your gift and grimaced. Seriously? A bracelet? You bit your lip to keep the tears and cries inside.
Hank couldn’t stop himself from saying his thanks. He hugged tightly Raven and kissed her cheek.
This sent you over the rail. Of course she got him and where were you in this scenario? Well, you were left with nobody. All alone while everyone had someone to love. You felt like Freddie Mercury, can anybody find me someone to love?
You shook your head and started to the vending machines to eat your sorrows away. Your body darted away while Hank finally saw you. He was concerned and set off to find you.
“She’s just standing there and gives him a freaking key? Can you believe it and guess what? It goes to a ton of equipment for him! She’s smart. Really smart and apparently rich.” You rambled as you took a big bite out of a candy bar.
Remy stared at you wide eyed, trying to enjoy his gyro for lunch, “still. Even though she game him a gift like that yours is different and unique and its from you and it means a lot to you. Plus, you made it from your own bare hands so I guess it makes it pretty special. You should think more of yourself darling.”
You shooed him off, “how can I think so high of myself when all the guys I love don’t even notice I’m alive. I feel like 5th grade all over again.”
“I think you need to tell him how you feel. You don’t know. Hank is a strange guy and he’s a bit shy, maybe he’s shy to tell you the truth. What’s the worse that can happen?”
You stood up, “whats the worse that can happen? C’mon, you’re my best friend you should know by now. The worse thing that can happen is he gives up on me. He doesn’t look at me! He ignores me forever and maybe makes fun of me! Why is it so hard for Hank to see how much I love? Every time I see him my heart hurts and he never knows that! He never acknowledges me!”
Remy took a moment and then chuckled, “well you told him yourself.”
You turned around and low and behold Hank was there. Hands in his pocket like a lost man. His brows knitted together in hesitation and confusion. While anger was evident on your face. His blue eyes searched yours as if seeking for answers. “May I speak to you y/n?”
You huffed, “why? So you can just tell me how right I am? Oh, I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way.” You packed your things and were going to room but Hank grabbed your sleeve.
“No, please. That’s not it. I do have feelings for you. I was just too nervous and shy to tell you. I’ve noticed you y/n. Your beautiful face as well as your beautiful soul. I do like you y/n.”
You ripped your hand away. “Yeah right. I know what guys think. Don’t pity me. I know the truth. I saw you and Raven in the room. Who wouldn’t want to be with a girl like her?”
“Raven’s great and she’s my friend but she’s no you. You are so kind and so sweet to others and you put others above yourself. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh or how your smile lights up the whole room you’re in. I’m sorry if I made you feel insignificant because y/n l/n you are everything but that. You mean a lot to me and I’m terribly sorry if I made you feel bad. Please forgive me.”
You searched in his eyes for a sign. A sign if this was a prank or a lie but you saw nothing of the sort. Instead all you saw was a man completely smitten over a woman that wanted him.
“Okay.” You didn’t resist no more.
Hank opened up his arms and you took the opportunity to get closer to him. You hugged him tightly to show that you were serious about this.
“But first I have to give you this,” you dug into your bag and brought out the bracelet. “I know its not as great as what Raven gave you but I made it. Also you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.”
Hank looked at the colorful beads and what it said and his smile grew big and wide. He brought you close and kissed your lips mid sentence. His lips were made for yours and it was in perfect sync. Your stomach was doing back flips and you saw fireworks the whole cheesy lot.
“I love you so much.”
You nuzzled your nose with his, “I love you more.”
Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @marwantr, @divaanya, @obliteratethefrog, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @just-a-lonely-astronaut (wont let me tag)
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#marvel#x-men#imagines#fanfiction#x reader#x-men fanfiction#marvel imagine#marvel fanfiction#x-men imagine#hank mccoy#hank mccoy x reader#hank mccoy imagine#beast#beast x reader#beast imagine#beast fanfiction#one-shot#requested#nicholas hoult#race neutral reader
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Sanders Sides Story Idea (probably not good but imma say it anyway).
First off, to note, it's a Band AU. But wait! It gets better! (I think).
The sides all form a band in their sophomore year of highschool, however sometime during the summer break before senior year, the band split into two. Roman, Patton and Logan becoming "The Lights" (it's a work in progress, forgive me!) And Remus, Janus and Virgil becoming "The Darks". The two bands held a rivalry with one another that only worsened after Virgil left The Darks to join The Lights.
The resin Virgil left was actually a big misunderstanding that wouldnt get resolved till somewhere during College (havent decided yet). So, yes the rivalry was horrid, but neither ever resorted to trying to sabotage the other.
Sounds like the average Band AU right? Well, here's where it differs.
The original band had gotten together when Roman put a sign up sheet out, talking about how he wanted to start an anonymous band, where one could be themselves without any repercussion on their 'real' life. They would wear a mask of their choice and go by a nickname of their choice. That way no one, not even fellow band members, would know your identity.
Of course, Roman didnt put the sheet out with his real name on it, as that would ruin the whole purpose. He put it out under the alias he would soon use in the band, The Prince. And so came the others; Logan as Logic, Patton as Heart, Virgil as Panic, Janus as The Liar and Remus as Tho(ugh)t. (Yes his name was 100% on purpose.)
It all sounds like a recipe for disaster right? Wrong!
They grew close, almost like a family. That is, until they split up, the reason for their break up unknown to everyone outside of the band. And you know the story from there. Now, while in seperate bands (Virgil currently with The Lights at this time) they all started to reveal their identities to the ever growing mass of fans.
Patton went first, tired of lying (heh) to his family about where he kept disappearing to. Then Roman, eager for validation (and maybe to take some of the attention off of Pat who was constantly swarmed). Then Remus, just to show up his brother (the twins had no clue that either of them were in the band) then came Logan, who saw it as the sensible route, and then Janus who just didnt care.
Then it was only Virgil who remained nameless, which seemed to cause his mass of fans to grow, and while everyone understood, their curiosity always writhed within them everytime they thought about him.
To be continued in the morning (or later) because I'm tired as hell.
#tw slight cursing#Sanders Sides#Sanders Sides idea#story idea#story ideas#ts Virgil#ts Remus#ts Roman#ts Logan#ts Patton#ts Janus#Virgil Sanders#Remus Sanders#Roman Sanders#Logan Sanders#Patton Sanders#Janus Sanders
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careful man’s careless daughter
@philtstone prompted: Anne/Gilbert babysitter au fake dating prompt #5 let’s go laydees “you have the emotional capacity of a brick. that slate I broke over your head.” (we’re pretending people still use slates now....american schools have no money...its possible ok)
k so i was trying to figure out how to work in the babysitter + fake dating and ... like a flash the plot to this old telugu/tamil movie i love missamma/missaimaa came to mind -- its not quite the same because they’re two people pretending to be married so that they can make money as school teachers/live in tutors for a wealthy family’s daughter but it works just enough that i decided to roll with it lol.
this technically isn’t the actual babysitting, nor the fake dating which I actually turned into a fake marriage lol, but i hope u still like it, even though it is all over the place and a general wreck because i wrote it straight through without any editing or thought towards pacing/characterization bc i havent written in forever lol!! im not even sure what the time period setting is lol, and i dont think my translating of the anne events into a semi modern day even works but w/e lol.
u are the truest of friends, the light of my life, and have certainly heard more than your share of my mental breakdowns both in the last month and the last few years lol. u deserve all the good things, all the good fic, all the time.
title is a perversion of a tswift lyric because it came up on youtube. if anyone wants to send in prompts from here
---
“You owe him how much?”
Anne sighs, crossing her legs to hide how uncomfortable she is in this moment -- here she is in the park, fifteen thousand dollars plus interest in medical debt for Marilla’s eye surgery and being hounded by Roy Gardner, ex boyfriend apparently turned loan shark who was on his knees proclaiming both love and loan forgiveness should Anne just accept his proposal.
Here Gilbert Blythe is, sitting on a park bench after two years without contact, watching the whole thing.
“Marilla doesn’t have health insurance,” Anne says, eyes on the ground as she uses the toe of her shoe to grind a leaf into the sidewalk cement. “Even when I was teaching, the union plan didn’t let people add parents on as dependents.” She sighs. “With everything happening with the farm, she couldn’t afford to put money towards a plan and so when her eyes got bad....”
For a moment, there is silence. Anne can almost hear Gilbert’s jaw clench “That’s just wrong.”
Anne laughs, and because her eyes are averted she doesn’t see Gilbert flinch. “That’s America, Blythe.”
“Well,” she hears him say, tone just dripping with what Mrs. Rachel would call the Blythe Stubbornness, “It shouldn’t be.”
She won’t ever admit it, but there’s something Anne has always found deeply compelling about Gilbert when he gets into these moods -- all righteously indignant in a way that Anne feels inside of her own body. Or felt, before Matthew died and left behind debts not even Marilla had known about, and Marilla’s eyes worsened around the the time Anne was let go from her teaching job and even if she had had the job it wouldn’t have mattered, she knows, but still. Beautiful, wonderful, beloved Diana had offered to help, of course she had, but Anne knew that Fred’s business wasn’t yet where it should be and that the parents Barry were still unimpressed with their son in law to be’s financial acumen. So she’d had to go to Roy, who had of course lent his beautiful Anne the money, and of course had arranged for Marilla to be treated at the best hospital in Toronto, of course had set them up in the apartment of a friend of his right in downtown where the rents were a thousand maybe two per month. He’d popped the question for the third time the second Marilla had been released back into Anne’s care.
Almost as if he can hear her thoughts, Gilbert speaks -- “Gardner shouldn’t be harassing you like this either. Who ever heard of charging interest on a loan to a friend? And what on earth does he think he’s going to take from you if you just don’t pay?”
Anne burns. This, she hasn’t told Marilla, nor even her darling Diana. For some reason, it seems alright to tell Gilbert. “The farm,” she mumbles.
Gilbert snorts. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard. Are you saying that Roy Gardner, heir to one of the biggest fortunes in Boston and your ex boyfriend, took your home as collateral on a loan for money you needed to pay for your mother’s surgery?”
Anne says nothing. She still hasn’t looked up at him, hasn’t been able to meet his gaze since she sat down on the bench and told Roy to get up off his knees and wait two months for either his money or her affirmative answer. She blinks, having mercifully forgotten that Gilbert was present for that last bit. She hopes he’s forgotten too.
“And wait, before he left you said....” No such luck. “Anne!” Anne’s sure her entire head must be flame as she closes her eyes, bringing her knees up on the park bench and burying her face into her own lap. “Anne you said you’d marry him if you couldn’t get the money!”
“There’s no debt between spouses,” Anne mumbles. “We’d get to keep the farm, and I wouldn’t ever worry about Marilla’s health again.”
“But you don’t love him!” She doesn’t know if she’s ever heard Gilbert sound so scandalized.
“I used to!” she tries to retort, but even Anne knows that her voice betrays her when she tries to speak this lie. “I used to think I was,” she amends, “and maybe that’s as close as I’m allowed to get -- he’s rich, handsome, he even loves me! What more could I ask for?”
“Coercing you into marriage, demanding interest on money that we all know is just pocket change for someone like him...that’s not love,” Gilbert Blythe responds, with all that....that all-knowing Blytheness in his voice that Anne has hated since she was 13 years old and the new kid in a class of people who had always known each other just as easily as they had known themselves. “Love is selfless, Anne, strong and kind. It makes you better for giving away your heart, even if the one you love doesn’t give you theirs in return.”
Gilbert Blythe, always acting as if he knows something Anne does not. He speaks as if he’s been in love, at some point over the years since he was last in Avonlea and for some reason Anne absolutely burns with that knowledge. Ooh she just hates him, now at 24 just as easily as she had at 13!
“And what exactly is love worth if it means I just lose the farm trying to pay for Marilla’s surgery, and still have nothing for the next time she’s sick?” Suddenly Anne is on her feet, hands on her hips as she glares at Gilbert looking quite alarmed as he still sits on the bench. The words she has kept locked on the inside, too private to even be written in a diary, come pouring out in one big rush:
“Three of my four parents are already dead, Gilbert Blythe.” Her voice hitches, to her horror, her sudden fury vanishes as she has to blink away the tears she has kept at bay since she and Marilla buried Matthew. Damn Gilbert, for bringing this out of her as well. “I can’t...I couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.” Her lips thin, and with a breath, her voice steadies. “I don’t care what you, or anyone else thinks about my choices if it means that I can take care of Marilla.”
Gilbert’s eyes have the sheen of his own tears when he stands, his own lips wobbling just slightly. “I...” he swallows. “Of course, Anne.” Something Anne recognizes as self hatred passes briefly over his face, but she doesn’t understand. “I wish I had money like Gardner to give you, I really do.”
Anne gentles, even if something inside her twists to be the object of the long-old guilt mixed with pity, much less Gilbert Blythe. Since Matthew’s death, every person in Avonlea it seems has sat with Anne and Marilla and offered their deep condolences, their absolute shock at the pair’s financial state of affairs, how much they wish they could help but sadly cannot, what with the way the bank’s collapse has hit their own finances. Only families like the Gardners survive economic crashes with money to burn.
“I wouldn’t have taken it even if you had,” she offers instead, shrugging casually.
His eyes flash. “But you took Gardner’s?”
“I thought he loved me!” Anne closes her eyes, somehow feeling her cheeks flush even deeper. This is why she’s avoided all mention of Gilbert Blythe so strenuously since high school graduation, because more than anyone else he is the one who drags out the words she is always learning to keep inside. Here he is, somehow pulling confessions Anne hadn’t even dreamed of telling Diana, confessions that make her seem small, and stupid, lost in a world so much more complicated and treacherous than she can handle all on her lonesome.
Well, she thinks, in for a penny --
“I thought he loved me,” she says, “and that he had the money to spare. I didn’t realize...” She looks away again, so that she never has to see him react to her folly.
“Oh Anne,” Gilbert says, for some reason so soft and stricken that Anne’s knees go weak with her sudden desire to fall to the ground and weep. “You deserve so much better.”
And now she’s angry again. “What would you know about what I deserve?” Anne spits, “you haven’t even been home since you started med school!” Vaguely, Anne thinks that Gilbert hasn’t been home since she and Roy had gotten serious, serious enough for her to bring him to Green Gables and show him the place that had been her very first love. Coincidences can be so strange.
“It doesn’t matter,” she says, glaring again at the ground. “None of this matters. I’m just going to go home” Anne clenches her jaw, knowing that when she gets back to Green Gables she will go into her room and play every excruciating part of this conversation back in her head, again and again until she throws up or passes out at dawn from sheer exhaustion. Maybe both, if she’s lucky. She leans back slightly and manages to turn around on her heels, a trick Gilbert Blythe had always pulled at school and had had girls thinking he was so cool.
She’s five minutes away from the park bench when suddenly she hears him call out her name.
“Anne,” he shouts again much closer, bending at his waist to balance his hands at his knees as he pants. “God, it really has been two years since I was on the university football team.”
Despite the roiling emotions of five minutes ago, Anne’s lips quirk. “I can’t imagine you all practiced very much to end up near the bottom of your league every year.”
Gilbert’s eyes widen, and for some reason he flushes. Maybe he’s so out of shape that it’s from exertion? “I didn’t realize you kept up with my matches.” Ah. Anne, it seems, will experience nothing else but one long sustained flush as long as she is in front of Gilbert Blythe. “You know,” she tries to say casually, “you hear things here and there. Diana told me the village gossip.”
Gilbert opens his mouth, but then suddenly shakes his head, like a dog trying to dislodge water from its fur. “I have...” he frowns. “I have a proposition for you.” Anne raises what she hopes is an elegant eyebrow. “Oh?”
He grimaces. “There’s a boarding school, a Catholic one, that’s asking for teachers over the summer for a few of their select students who want to be coached for college admissions. Essays, standardized tests, everything. They’ve got heaps of money, and are willing to pay salaries up front. Plus, they cover all your expenses while you’re there!”
Anne blinks, feeling the beginnings of hope gather as kindling at the very dredges of her heart. Once, both Anne and Gilbert had competed so well against each other that they had both gotten into Harvard. Then, Matthew had died, and Anne decided she could just as easily get a teaching degree at the state school and stay closer to Marilla too. Gilbert alone had had the distinction of being the first from Avonlea to reach such heights, and had reached even higher when he had been accepted again to Harvard Medical School.
But at one point, both Anne and Gilbert had taken their SATs. They’d both written their application essays. They’d both gotten in. Anne, even, had been offered a full ride compared to Gilbert’s only partial scholarship, so there could even be an argument that of the two, Anne had been the one on top.
And if nothing else, Anne is even better at teaching than she was at taking tests.
“I’ll do it,” she says firmly. “Where and when do I need to report, and how much money are they offering?” For a second, a bright, dazzling grin paints Gilbert’s face. “Really? Ten--” he coughs, “Twenty thousand.” Anne frowns.
“Each?” It sounds like a dream come true. Five thousand more than Anne needs, and paid upfront. She could save the farm, and put away five thousand towards the farm’s debts. “That sounds....exorbitant.” He nods, suddenly more confident. “Yep! Twenty thousand for sure.” He laughs. “I know Gardner was supposed to be slumming it at state school, but you really can’t be surprised at how much money rich people are willing to throw at a problem.”
“The problem being...their children.” Gilbert’s grin turns wicked. “The problem being their children’s SAT scores, and lack of compelling anecdote to base an admission’s essay on, yes.”
Anne laughs, wicked in this moment as well. She wishes in this moment, fiercely, as she has many times over the last few years, that she had been able to go to university with Gilbert at her side -- as the friends they had slowly begun to be after years of one and two sided enmity, before time and distance had turned them into near strangers. She doesn’t regret staying back, not really, but there is a part of her that no one had ever understood half as well as Gilbert Blythe, who had, after the Harvard interest meeting, drawn and pinned up a schedule for practice SATs that took into account both his and Anne’s often conflicting life schedules.
“What’s the catch,” she asks, grinning when Gilbert chokes “come on, Blythe, there’s always a catch with offers like this. Is it across from a waste manufacturing plant? Is the principal a pervert?”
Slowly, Gilbert Blythe is turning red. “Ah,” he says, shuffling like he never did even when he was an errant schoolboy. “Well,” he says, and....is that his voice cracking?
“Gilbert,” Anne says, trying to reassure him, “I grew up in the foster system, I can handle much worse than bad smells and pervert principals, I promise.”
He frowns. “It’s not that,” he says slowly, “but basically they’re looking for two teachers, a man and a woman to manage the boys and the girls while the rest of the staff go on vacation.”
Anne smiles, trying to ignore the jolt of her heart at the thought of an entire summer with Gilbert, studying like they used to but as friends. Her old dreams, finally coming true. “That’s perfect then, you take one job and I’ll take the other! It’ll be like old times, kind of.”
He smiles faintly, as if, even after locking horns with the best and brightest at Harvard, Anne is still the person he wants to be trading barbs with over the heads of high school students for months on end. “I’d like nothing better, he says, except...”
“Except?”
Gilbert inhales. “ExceptTheSchoolWillOnlyHireAMarriedCoupleSoThatTheyDon’tHaveToWorryAboutOutofWedlockSexorTeachersHavingSexWithStudents.” All in a rush, and now Gilbert is the one who can’t apparently handle eye contact.
“What?”
“The school,” Gilbert says to his shoes, “since it’s Catholic, and also since they’re lazy, only want a married couple so that they don’t have to have anyone watching to make sure the teachers aren’t having sex with the students. Or each other.”
Anne blinks. “But we’re not married!”
Gilbert grimaces, opening his mouth, but then just biting his lip. They could be, Anne thinks, only a tad hysterical. Only all of Avonlea was matching them up all the years of high school, and even the years after until she’d met Roy. It would be so easy to get a certificate. They could get a divorce by September, even annul their marriage since they definitely wouldn’t be having sex.
Twenty thousand dollars.
“So what you’re saying,” Anne says slowly, her lip curling of its own accord “is that after all that talk about what love is and isn’t, and telling me that I shouldn’t marry Roy for the money he’d give me, your blockheaded solution is instead, for me to marry you?”
Gilbert looks up. “Well when you put it that way--” Anne sees red, even as she already sees herself in one of her old white lace dresses, standing with Gilbert at the courtroom and signing. “Gilbert Blythe I don’t believe you! Sometimes, I think that you really do have all the emotional capacity of that slate I broke over your head!”
“I know,” he says tone heavy with something so sad that Anne’s hearten softens a bit of its own accord. “But you really need the money, and I promise we’ll get a divorce by September.” He smiles, but there’s something bitter at the corners that Anne has never seen before -- she almost raises her hand to rub the strand of emotion off his lips. “And you’re not the only one who needs the money. Will you do it?”
Twenty thousand dollars. The farm, Marilla, an end to the eternal pity of Avonlea. And also, a small part of her suggests, an opportunity to finally spend time with this new Gilbert Blythe who went off into the world and left her behind.
She sighs. “I vote that you be the one to tell Mrs. Lynde.”
#obviously gilbert's been in love with anne this whole time#not in a really creepy way just a realization that no one he meets compares#a gentle longing for an unrequited love hes accustomed himself to#the salary is originally 10k each but he decides to give her his and cut a deal with the people to put it all in anne's name#which theyre fine with bc theyre married and hes like oh the debts we have are in her name lol#in this au since he didnt give up the school for her this salary thing is probably that equivalent?#anyways anne and gilbert fall in love while teaching annoying rich kids who get a transformative summer that helps them become good people#they reconnect talk about their past their present their futrue#fall in love thinking the other one could never feel the same#good stuff#aogg#anne of green gables#anne shirley#gilbert blythe#maya writes
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I Do. (Post 1/2) (part 1 of ?)
Ashton.
"I just want a nice, normal guy to sweep me off my feet, and support my carmel vanilla coffee addiction. Is that so much to ask?!"
My best friend gave me an amused glance before dropping her gaze back towards her phone. I swear, that girl could hold two conversations face to face, surf facebook, and hold a buisness Skype call, all at the same time. A.D.D., they name is Rae.
"I've set you up on five dates so far, and you havent lasted longer then ten minutes with any of them," she countered. "So how about this...you tell me your dream guy, and I'll work off of that."
I sighed, tapping my foot nervously against the metal rung of the coffee shop table. I was always fidgeting. Whether it was shaking my foot, drumming my nails along the table, or pacing aimlessly around, I was always moving.
"I don't know," I sighed out on a breath. Picking up my iced vanilla, butterscotch, and chai latte, I took a sip before responding. "Dont you know anyone that actually has a life?"
Rae glanced up at me, cocking an eyebrow. "A life? Like, the other 5 were dead?"
I groaned. "The first guy had the ambition of a goldfish. Second guy wanted me to move into his mother's basement with him. Third guy was perfectly content to be a cashier th erest of his life and didnt want to even think about making more than minimum wage or he would loose government assistance.....shall I go on?"
Rae gave a throaty chuckle, causing three random guys to stop their conversations and look her way. She just had that way about her.
"Tell you what," she mused out loud. "Since the last five was a complete disaster, and I thought they would have been perfect for you, the next guy I pick will be the one who I think you'll hate the most. So.... Here's what I want from you. You pick what you want him to wear. You pick if you want flowers or not. And you pick the place to meet for drinks, dinner, movie...whatever. deal?"
I thought about it for a moment, the shrugged. "Fine. I want to come here. This coffee shop. No flowers. No expectations. I'll even pay for the both of our drinks. But he has to have a job. A good job. Or at least have a goal in mind," I amended.
Rae nodded. "Tell me more. Actually, tell me your dream. What's your fantasy date for this coffee. Close your eyes and describe the guy to me. What is he wearing. What does he look like. What is he drinking?"
I laughed, but saw the amusement in her eyes. Deciding to play along, I closed my eyes and tilted my head slightly back.
"White button down shirt with the sleeves rolled back a bit. Nice jeans, probably faded with a hole in the leg," I laughed out. "Gorgeous smile because he laughs a whole lot and has an amazing sense of humor. Eyes that are kind and sparkle. Shaggy hair that probably falls into his eyes...." I trailed off.
"Sounds like quite the catch," Rae laughed out on a breath. She sounded amused, which kind of worried me a bit.
I opened my eyes and glanced at her. "Why do you sound like you just ate a canary?"
Rae's eyes sparkled as she tried to suppress a smile. "I know who would be perfect for you, and...he should be here in about two minutes."
My jaw dropped to the floor. "What?! Theres no way you could have called someone and set it up so fast. You had this planned!" I shrieked. Not because she set me up, but because she didnt warn me.
I was dressed in my -I dont give a shit, today is my day off- clothes. A pair of faded dark grey sweatpants with a hole in the left knee, dark green jumper with a faded brand logo running down the arm, and hair unbrushed and tossed into a messy bun. Plus I was still wearing yesterdays makeup which had faded to a lovely raccoon inspired look.
"This wasnt a setup," she argued lovingly, tossing her hands up to her side quickly. "Swear it. You know i was meeting a few friends here today. One of them would be perfect for you."
I eyed her warily. "The so-called friends that are mysteriously out of the country doing something tha you refuse to tell me, along with their names? The ones who you are best friends with...yet I know nothing about, and we have been best friends since middle school?!" I mused, scrunching my nose up at the thought.
Granted, my and Rae are best friends for over 15 years now, but there was a random 2 year period where were were heavily into the party and drug scene. We kinda split ways and didnt talk for 2 years, then both of us, separately, decided to get our lives in order and somehow reconnected as if nothing had happened.
Strange how life works out.
"They aren't...." I trailed off.
"They were, " she nodded. "Not anymore tho. I used to hang out and binge with them tho. They cleaned their lives up as well. Just took them longer."
I nodded, glancing down at my almost empty iced coffee as I dragged my nails along the styrofoam, making patterns on the cup. "I'm willing to give it a go I guess. Coffee never hurt anyone, right?"
"Right," she agreed, glancing down once again to her phone to resume whatever multi-conversation she was having.
I didnt realize until a few minutes later that I was humming and singing along the the songs playing over the cafe speakers.
"Do you like this band?" She asked randomly, not taking her focus from her phone.
"Love them," I remarked, not really paying attention. "I just got their new album yesterday actually."
She made a small chuckle. "Let me guess then...you were always a guitar or lead singer chick. So.... Luke?"
I grinned, breaking my gaze away from all the pretty little designs my nails etched into my now empty coffee cup. " Usually , yes you would have been correct. And while he is hot, as is the othe guitarist...my heart lies elsewhere in the band."
"Bassist?" She chanced, finally placing her phone down and looking up. Her eyes darted over my shoulder, then came back to focus on my face. A grin broke out, smile so wide it reminded me of the Cheshire cat.
"Um, nooo," I drawled. "I actually seemed to be drawn to.....why the hell are you staring a time like that?!" I asked, breaking the conversation. "You look fucking creepy."
Her eyes seemed to dart over my shoulder again to where the cashier counter was, then back to me again. "So the drummer then?" She mused, not bothering to hide the grin. "You have a thing for the drummer?"
I continued to stare at her, trying to puzzle out what the hell was making her act so weird. "Yeah...?" I dragged out.
"Hmmm, and why would that be? I'm honestly curious. Usually you always go for the guitar rock-God type for looks."
I cocked my head to the side. "You really want an answer?"
Rae grinned again. Nodding her head emphatically. "Oh yes. Please, by all means."
I shrugged, taking the last small sip from my coffee. "He always seemed the most put together. Knows how to laugh, but always seems polite. Has an amazing voice, but would rather be in the background playing his heart out. And he gives out total Daddy vibes," I joked. "Plus, he is seriously hot. They all are in that band actually."
Rae burst out laughing, covering her mouth with both hands. I swear, tears started to form in her eyes.
I just stared at her. "Seriously Rae, what has gotten into you today?! What's so funny?"
Her eyes darted behind me once again, but this time she nodded. I didnt even have a chance to turn around to see what she was looking at before an arm snaking over my shoulder, placing a styrofoam cup in front of me.
"You can call me Daddy if you feel the need to, but I prefer Ashton on a first date," a voice said.
I closed my eyes tightly, slowly opening them as panic filled me. My eyes traveled from the coffee, up to a bare forearm dusted in dark golden hair, to a shoulder and chest that had a white button shirt...sleeves rolled back.
Damn, but did Rae tell him how to dress?
He smirked at my dazed expression, while Rae finally got herself under control. "I didnt tell him," she rasped out, still trying to hide the amusement as she spoke. " He really was randomly dressed like that to come here."
Ashton raised a brow as he pulled up a chair, leaning over to give Rae a quick one-armed hug before sitting on the chair backwards between us.
He reached over, palm up while smiling at me. "She did however, demand that I randomly walk in and order you a vanilla butterscotch coffee without even telling me your name, or why I was buying you one. I'm being set up on a date, I take it?" He questioned again, glancing to Rae for affirmation before looking back at me, then down to his still extended hand. "Do I get a name? Or should I introduce myself again?"
I shook my head, trying to snap out of the surreal experience going on. Placing my hand in his, I cleared my throat. "You're Daddy, right?" I smirked, trying to fight the blush rising on my face. God, but do I hope he can take the joke.
His face split into a grin, laugh bursting out of his lips. "I like her," he chuckled, looking over to Rae. " This one actually knows what a joke is."
I grinned at that as he looked back at me. "I take it that Rae has tried setting you up before as well?" I questioned.
He nodded, a faint smile still gracing his lips. "One girl who decided living in her car way her dream goal. One who only ate foods that were yellow. And one who wanted to be a psychologist because she didnt understand how people laughed or why we smile at things."
My eyes went wide. "Wow. And here I thought I had it bad with the guy who only showered on days it rained cause that's how the bathtub got refilled."
Ashton let out another bark of laughter, breaking eye contact to speak to Rae once again. " You suck at setting people up. You know that?"
She raised a brow at that, stopping her cup of coffee in mid air before she could take a sip. "Oh, so should I not have introduced the two of you?" She asked, feigning a look of hurt. "And here I thought you were getting along fairly well."
Ashton shook his head. "Are you kidding me? this girl is horrible! Wont tell me her name, wont call me by mine, and she laughs at everything I say!" He rambled out. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but he didnt stop looking at her.
"And he isnt the greatest catch either, " I added. "Eavesdropped a private conversation, assumed I wanted him to pay for something. I didn't ask for without asking me. And he wont let me go," I added, flicking my gaze down to our still entwined hands.
Rae nodded, a huge, fake sight escaping past her parted lips. " okay, I give up. Sorry to waste your time, Ash. I'll take her home and be back in a few minutes to catch up with you all. I assume the others are on the way?" She asked, standing up and motioning for me to follow.
Ashton shook his head. " They are on the way. But you cant take her."
Without warning, he turned and licked a wet line up my jaw. "I licked her. Shes mine now."
My jaw dropped open, but rae looked amused. "Are you gunna pee on her too?"
He turned to look at me finally, slightly swaying our hands back and forth. "Is that your kink?"
"What?! No! Why would you ask that?!"
He shrugged. "Well, I know you have a Daddy kink, just had to be sure."
"I do NOT have a Daddy kink!" I hissed out, trying to pull my hand out from his grasp. "And why the hell did you lick me?"
He was having none of it. Keeping hold of my hand, he slowly brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand before finally releasing his hold. "Cause I wanted to see what you tasted like. Vanilla, I like it." He winked.
"You do have a daddy kink," Rae interjected, laughing through her words. "I'm going to go get another coffee and grab 2 other tables for the guys. You two enjoy yourselves."
Ashton glanced at me before looking at Rae. "If I did that, we would be arrested and barred from this shop."
I think my heart stopped. Was I breathing?
"Mind if I go grab myself a drink?"
I blinked, trying to focus on his face once again. "Didn't you just order one while you were up there?"
He shook his head. "Only ordered yours. I wasnt sure if I wanted to stay once she told me she had a girl with her for me to meet."
"And now you are sure you want to stay?" I questioned.
He smiled. A sweet smile that lit up his eyes. "I think you are fucking perfect."
I blushed at that. "Yeah, right. Cause messy girl with raccoon eyes in your kink, right?"
He gave me an amusing look. "Like a guy in jeans and a white shirt is yours?" He retorted. A small sigh left his lips as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through a few messages. Once he found what he was looking for, he stopped and put the phone down on the table in front of me.
Raelyn- her fantasy sounds like you, in a white button down and a pair of worn out skinny Jean's. Just get your asses here!
Ash-and you are so sure I would like her? I sisnt agree to another date with your wacky high maintenance friends. They just want a sugar daddy.
Raelyn- shes sitting here in pajamas, messy hair, and yesterdays makeup. And she insists on buying our coffees every week. Still wanna pass her up?
Ash- ....be there in 5.
Raelyn- get her a butterscotch vanilla iced coffee.
Ash- thought she didnt want people to buy her shit?
Raelyn- then get it for me.
Ash- do I have to buy flowers or anything?
Raelyn- only if you want her to hit you with them.
Ash- I like her already.
I glanced up at Ashton, a small smile gracing my face. "So I guess it's my turn to buy you a coffee?"
He shrugged, swinging his leg back over the chair to sit down backwards on it once again. "If you insist. Pick whatever you think I would like."
I grinned this time. " whipped cream, cherries, and handcuffs?" I joked.
He beamed at me. "Nah, that's the second date. And woulsnt you know it....you already know what to call me then," he teased.
I laughed, walking away to get him a drink. I slid up alongside Rae, elbowing her in the side gently. "Are the other three coming?"
She smiled at me. "Yeah, be here any minute."
The barista asked up for our orders, while I pushed Rae's card back towards her. "I got them."
"That's 7 drinks you are paying for today," she reminded me.
"Glad your good at math," I remarked. "You can get the next round. And if they like me as a friend and we hang out in the future we can all take turns. If not, then I get to say that they are forever indebted to me. Win-win I say."
She shrugged, but didnt argue. "Fair play, that. I'll go shove the tables together and be back to help you carry them all."
But it wasnt her who came back over when the order was ready. It was Michael.
"HI," he practically yelled, squeezing me in a tight bear hug. "I'm Michael. Or Mike. Whatever."
"You seem overly happy to meet a stranger, " I laughed out, hugging him back just as tight before letting go.
"You made ashton happy," he shrugged, a huge smile on his face. "Anyone who can make his smile in the first few minutes of meeting him...especially lately, deserves to be treated like the fucking queen they are."
My brows shot up at that. "I'm a queen now. High praise. Does that make you the court jester?" I asked, handing him a cardboard tray with 4 drinks in it.
He grinned. "Sure. Anything else you wish me to carry, m'lady?"
I laughed and gave a curtsey. "Not at this time, good sir. Go forth and conquer the bistro que!"
Michael laughed, draping an arm across my shoulder while walking back to the now full tables. He set his 4 drinks down, then took one out of my hand and gave it to Rae before distributing the 4 he had.
"They're marked, and we all drink the same shit every time we go out," he explained. "The one you have is the only one I dont recognize so I assumed it is yours."
I shook my head and resumed my seat next to Ashton, with Luke next to me on the other side now. Michael and Calum were sat across from me. "Its for Ashton actually. He bought me my coffee and forgot to get his own."
"Trying to ditch her," Calum asked.
"Nope." Ashton stated. Simple. Direct. One word.
"Finally found a girl that will put up with your crazy-ass for longer than 10 minutes?" Like remarked.
"Gunna marry this one, mate," Ashton laughed out.
"Shit, you move fast," Michael snorted. "And here I was being engaged for over a year already. What am I doing wrong?"
"You actually asked your fiancee," Luke answered. "Ashton will just be standing in front of the magistrate with a blowup doll."
Everyone laughed, including me Ashton fake pouted, poking me in the side before lacing his fingers through mine. My heart gave a little flitter, but I didnt pull away.
"Come on, Love, you're supposed to defend our relationship!"
I chuckled. "Yes sir. Would you like to get married now, sir? I think I still have my old bicycle pump in my garage if you need it. And some duct tape in case your fiancee gets a hole."
He threw his head back and laughed, tightening his grip on my hand. Not hard, but in acknowledgment that it was a good laugh. "Fuck the lot of you."
"Damn, already cheating on me. And with three other men no less," I crooned, pouting my lips.
That caused another round of laughter.
"I think I'm in love with your girlfriend, " Calum huffed out. "She knows how to give back shit we dish out."
"Dont be hitting on my wife," Ashton fake growled. "I worked hard on this relationship!"
"Oh yeah? What's her name?" Rae jumped in, bemused laughter lacing each word.
A slow silence fell across the table, followed by abrupt laughter for everyone.
"Oh. My. God. You didnt even ask her what her name is yet?!" Michael bellowed, tears forming in his eyes. "I can see it now. The priest standing there like do you take this girl for your wife? And you being like, who's that?"
"Fuck all of you," Ashton gasped out through laughter again. "I'm gunna marry her one day and then shes gunna kick your asses for making fun of me."
I grinned, reaching over to poke my finger into his dimple. "Yeah? I'll kick their asses for you if you ask, darling." I agreed. "Just as soon as you get my attention and ask me. Oooh, right. You can't. Dont know my name," I beamed.
He threw back his head and chuckled. "Fuck you too, sweetheart," he remarked, leaning over to place a quick kiss to my cheek.
"Only if you scream my name out while you do," I joked.
"Fuck, but do I love a smart mouth," he agreed.
The conversation flowed easily. Two more rounds of drinks were bought over the course of a few hours, until the cafe was getting ready to close.
We all agreed to meet up next weekend, have enjoyed each others company and realizing the six of us were going to be amazing friends.
"Can we bring our girls next week?" Luke asked.
"Hell yeah " I agreed readily. "Me and Rae need all the help we can get against you four."
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Hush
Dreaming was the worst thing in the world. Dreaming was when your brain decided to delve into the darkest secrets of your mind and play with them. Making up all sorts of scenarios to which the dreamer would not know what was real or fake. Dreams stole your voice and your heart, and crushed your soul.
So Zaire stopped dreaming altogether.
She probably shouldn’t have taken the adderall, but it kept her from falling asleep, and at the moment, sleep was dangerous. For one, she was still in the hellhole of a coven house with witches who didn’t care, albeit, James was sweet. The cemetery was still far too close for comfort, and she had nowhere else to go.
Her room was chaos. She’d dreamt too many things to process, and now sat cross-lagged in the center of the room with charcoal drawings surrounding her. Some haunting images of monsters that crept in her mind. The ghosts with no faces but terrible, terrible, oozing, darkness. She’d dreamt the woman’s voice calling out to Roman, who was drawn out as an eerie silhouette, all black but the mouth, which was white, opening unnaturally wide. Then, there was the wolf. Dark, with striking eyes, one of which split with an amber brown and blue. She hadn’t known it was Roman at first, not until Nio had mentioned it. Probably in the many moments he exasperated his annoyance at the wolf while Zaire was going in and out of consciousness.
Instinctively, the blonde went to her collarbone. Thanks to her brother, it had healed pretty well, but there was still one jagged scar. Images flashed before Zaire and she winced, because even when she shut her eyes she still saw them. She rubbed a charcoal covered hand over her forehead, which at this point was also covered in black smudge.
She wanted to sleep. The adderall only working for so long, eventually she had to give in to human instincts, but the fear was paralyzing. Every time she closed her eyes she dreamt of screams.
Reaching into the leather jacket hanging on the chair in her room, Zaire found the card roman had given her, his private number written on the back. She traced it with her thumb, chewing on her bottom lip. She had yet to use it.
She grabbed her phone, punching in the numbers before she second guessed herself, and hit send. She hadn’t really thought about the time, and how it was late; she hadn’t looked that deeply at her phone. She held her breath as it rang.
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One thing about being a lone werewolf on the police force was that he got stuck on night shift…a lot. It gave him a lot of free reign and it also helped him to keep an eye on things that went bump in the night. That being said, it killed his social life. Luckily his social life was all but nonexistent. The only people really in his lives were co-workers, a few people here and there and his sister and her…well whatever Candy was to her. Honestly he preferred working rather than not and took any and all overtime he could.
He was just clocking out and heading home, however, when he’d gotten the call. At first he wasn’t going to answer it, a strange number he had no name connected to. But it was a local number from what he could tell and Roman being Roman meant he’d given his number out to a few people without also getting their number. it could be someone important. Or it could be a telemarketer. That was one thing he hated about this time period, the amount of spam calls.
“Hello?” Roman answered through the car’s Bluetooth, ready to hang up if it was either a prank or a spam call. Since he didn’t hear the typical background noise of kids snickering or office work, however, Roman had a feeling this was something a little more real.
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Two things went through Zaire’s mind in the moment that the phone stopped ringing. One, she’d realized she’d called Roman, and two, He’d answered. Zaire kept holding her breath, not knowing what to say. She just wanted to hear him speak again, but she had to say something in order to get that to happen.
“I havent-” her throat croaked a little, and she’d realized that she hadn’t spoken in awhile, and the only time she got water was for her paints. Clearing her throat she took in a deep breath.
“I haven’t slept in probably thirty-two hours and I’m going a little crazy,” she winced at the last word, and crumpled into herself, holding her phone to her ear but leaning into her legs, using her knees as pillows.
“I live next to a cemetery. How fucking ironic is that?”
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That voice. He knew who it was right away. She sound strained, in pain. Had he not been stopped at a red light he likely would have pressed down on the gas peddle, however luckily his foot simply pressed down on the brakes. She was then able to vocalize a little more, however her shaky voice and her words only made him want to go to her faster. He could feel the wolf wanting to take over too, however he reassured it that it was better if he was able to drive to her than abandoning the car.
“The Coven house? I thought they could help you there?” If it were up to him he’d likely have not let her go home until he knew she was better. It wasn’t his call though. Then again he imagined Chester and Nio were fooled by her tough exterior. Why was she calling him? Wasn’t Chester a better option? Not that he was complaining. He liked being able to hear her voice, to know she was alive and well.
Already he was taking a turn to head towards where he believed the coven house to be. He didn’t know the exact location since he’d never actually visited it, however he knew the general area the coven was in charge of and there were only so many cemeteries in that area.
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She wished his words rang true. She had always wished that the Coven could help her with her constant struggle. In some was it did, they often had protection from everything, and she had learned things from the few friends she had gained, but slowly that group was trickling out.
The Coven’s Mistress had sent a few of the witches to the new Seethe leader, for what reason,Zaire didn’t really know. She’d sent away the only close friend the blonde had in this place, and she had a lot of doubt about his return. Yes, she was taught new things, but this was not a home, and she had no connections. She had no one to spend sleepless nights with, to distract and laugh with.
She refused to bother Nio or Chester anymore. Her whole life Chester had been there to help pick up the pieces of her sanity, and Nio was thrown into the mix when they moved in together. She refused to stomp on her brother’s happiness, and frankly, she didn’t think Nio deserved her baggage either.
What made Roman any different?
“They help….to an extent, but people are weary and I am tired of it,” she closed her eyes, she was tired of the nightmares, but not one thing the coven did could scrub the depths of her mind of the horrors she’s never truly unlocked.
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Roman nodded, forgetting that she couldn’t see or hear him. Although he had been raised with a pack of wolves, with people who knew him and his family, he’d never really felt quite at home with them. Sure his mother had been his everything and then eventually Bee, however once his father had found his mate everything was strained. He didn’t have anyone to rely on for help with anything. Perhaps that’s what Zaire was feeling.
“Do you need somewhere to go? Somewhere quieter?” He wasn’t entirely sure his place would be quieter, not with Bee and Candy potentially being there, however maybe it would be quieter than next to a graveyard. The question was less of a question and more of a ‘I’m coming to get you’ sort of comment. Either way, Roman was less than five minutes away at that point, possibly ignoring speed limits. Then again people rarely questioned when a police SUV was going over the speed limit. Plus he had the reflexes of a werewolf and therefore the only thing that would be in danger would be another supernatural creature if they jumped out in front of him. Barely anyone was around this time of night other than wolves and vampires anyways.
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“Somewhere quiet….Yes….” her voice was breathy, thinking about the peace of quietness, quite the opposite from her usual blaring music that was likely to be doing irreversible damage to her eardrums.
She’d set the phone down for a moment, staring at the drawings, she thought maybe she’d show him, but then decided not. Instead she ripped off the pant spattered tank she was wearing and stared at the mess of her room. Finally picking up a baggy sweater, white with thin black stripes. It covered her her like a dress, and slid off a shoulder. She grabbed her backpack, that held her pencils and not blood spattered and lost sketchbook.
“I’ll meet you on the road,” she said after she’d picked up her phone again and started walking out of the house. she hung up, putting her headphones in, and blaring music, as was her ritual when walking on these grounds. She wondered towards the road, where the Coven driveway ended, and the split to the cemetery began. She stared blankly at the foggy grounds, relishing in the music that covered any noises, but staring at the ghostly forms who watched her. Yearning for her to come to them, and if she hadn’t been so prepared, she’d step right into that trap.
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Roman nodded, this time with an ‘okay’ to go along with the nod. She could hear that. There was no need for a ‘goodbye’ because they were going to see eachother in just a moment. Stopped by a red light, Roman tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel, impatiently, before pulling away as soon as it turned green. He pulled onto the street a moment after she’d gotten to the end of the driveway, staring at the graveyard.
Of course Roman couldn’t see what she did, though he imagined she must be seeing or at the very least sensing something. He wondered if she’d just guessed he was already close by or if she’d been willing to wait outside however long it took. He’d never said anything one way or another. Maybe it was a witchy thing. Either way, the SUV pulled up next to the petite blonde and Roman put the window down with the button so she could see it was him inside and not some creep. Then again the SUV had the big ol POLICE sign stretched across it, though at least Roman wasn’t still in his Blues.
“Hey pretty lady, need a ride?” He tried his best creepy van owner impression, a grin spread across his face. Okay he was lame and terrible at jokes. She was probably judging him. Why had he done that again? Then again did she even hear with the earbuds in?
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Zaire stared at the graveyard for some time, but as soon as headlights flashed into view, they faded into the fog, as if they were the fog all along. Blinking, she turned her head towards the vehicle. Roman had rolled down his window, and seemed to say something. Zaire was no expert on lip reading, so it looked a little something like; ‘Hey Betty Shady Need a Fry?’. She raised a brow and squinted her eyes, a confused smile on her lips.
“I don’t think you said what I think you said, but now I want fries?” she teased lightly as she removed her earbuds. She took a deep breath, because for the first time in days, she felt good. Her heart raced with happiness, and she didn’t even think to hide it. She wanted to lean in and kiss Roman’s stubbly cheek, but instead went to the passenger door and opened it. Despite the clean smell, the car had a faint roman smell to it, whatever that was exactly, Zaire couldn’t place it.
“Thank you.” She wanted to lean over and hug Roman, to feel his warmth, to be held by him. she wanted to soak in it all. He made her feel a sense of comfort and happiness. and she knew she shouldn’t, knew it got no where. She wanted him to kiss her. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought, and she looked away, towards the window.
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Maybe it was better that she didn’t hear his poor attempt at a joke. He forgot sometimes that regular people didn’t have heightened hearing. Even when he had earbuds in his ears he could still hear everything around him with clarity. Then again he also wasn’t one to play music too loud because it was bad for your eardrums.
“We can get fries. Maybe give the local McDonalds kids a scare…” More often than not he got a nervous kid at the window once they saw the blues. There weren’t enough drug tests at McDonalds so very often they either had something in their pocket or in their system. Either way he could smell it, he was far better than any drug sniffing dog.
Pulling away from the coven house, Roman looked towards the foggy graveyard and wondered if the other was okay. She seemed like she was in a better mood now that she was driving away versus when they’d been on the phone. Roman was able to read most emotions but he was still forever clueless when it came to romance.
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Zaire grinned at his joke, because she knew some of those kids and they would definitely freak. She fiddled with the leather bands on her wrist and gave a long sigh, “I forgot you’re a cop…I suppose I should dump the weed in my bag,”she made an effort to sound both serious and not at the same moment, a vague smile on her lips.
They drove for awhile, and the farther from the coven house, the better she started to feel. Roman gave off an energy she liked, it wasn’t scary or intimidating. She felt safe in his presence.
“Do you know Nio from work? With him being an EMT and all?” she decided to make small talk, but wasn’t entirety sure if that was a small topic or a big one. Honestly, she just wanted to hear him talk.
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Roman could smell the weed on the witch, as well as other various things. While he was a cop he was also a person and he was off duty. Plus, while the smell lingered he wasnt entirely sure she had it on her physically at the moment. No harm no foul. Plus he understood the importance of medicated marijuana. He didn’t like drugs but as long as she wasnt hurting herself or others, Roman was willing to turn the other cheek for now.
“Yeah…he’s a good guy. He used to live with your brother, right? Before he moved in with the vamp?” Roman wasnt good with pronouns, he also didnt know what Zee knew and what she didnt know about a lot of people in her life. Seeing as she was a witch he assumed she knew everything and could speak openly. The only reason he knew all that much was because of various encounters and the change in people’s scents. Nio smelled less like a witch and more like a human as time went by.
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Zaire smiled some, Moving to chew on one of her nails, the taste of acrylic paint coating her tongue and she seemed to have missed parts of her finger. It felt so natural to talk with Roman. She’d let it slight with the whole pronoun mess up at first.
“They. Just so you know…I mean no pressure because they are pretty chill with people getting used to pronouns…but still,” she shrugged and removed her nail from her mouth and shifted so she was more comfortable on the seat. she shuddered at the thought of Damian….nothing against him, but she was a bit pissed that she let herself be alone with a vampire…no matter how nice he was.
“I think he can be a prick sometimes,” the witch teased, referring to Nio, but that was just their constant pranks and need to be an asshole to each other. Like normal siblings did.
“I was adopted into a family and met Chester….They kind of saved my life….I’m pretty fucked in the head.” she smiled to herself, but the words rang true to her, no teasing or jokes in them.
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Roman made a mental note and even corrected himself on the other’s pronouns. “They.” He was kind of old school and didn’t understand it but he respected the witch enough that he would make an active effort to use proper pronouns for them.
Laughing when Zee said Nio could be a prick, Roman nodded his head, turning onto the highway that would take them to McDonalds. “Yeah I suppose you’re not wrong” Nio was another person Roman greatly respected and cared for. He was like a member of a pack that hadnt quite been formed yet, almost like a sibling by choice…like adoption. Really thats what a pack was like, right?
He wanted to ask what happened, wanted to know more about the woman half curled up in his passenger seat. Very few got to sit there instead of the back where bars separated them. Roman didnt want to offend her by asking what had happened so instead he offered his own glimpse into his life. Sharing was caring, right?
“My little sister and I lost our family when she was young. I’m glad i was there for her or…well i dont know where she would be.” Lone wolves didnt make it long on their own, especiallu not pups who were being tracked down. She could handle herself now but she would have been lost either mentally or physically by now had she been alone. Wolves were very pack oriented and tended to go crazy not being around others. Roman and Bee were lucky to have eachother.
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He had a sister, the thought comforted her for some reason. Perhaps it was why he had a way of calming her so well, or maybe it was something else. Zaire mentally shrugged at the thought, but was grateful for the information. She traced her finger against the window.
“Before I was adopted, I was locked in an institution because I saw things that weren’t there….Ghosts and such…but humans don’t think like that,”she paused, looking out for the stars outside, but the trees were blocking them from view.
“I guess I was a survivor of a tragedy….people thought I was just crazy and tried fixing me. Now I don’t sleep well, and the ghosts aren’t friendly kids trying to play anymore.”
She didn’t care that she was telling him all her secrets, it felt so natural to open up to him like this. In any case, he deserved to know about her, since he so kindly dropped what he was doing to help keep her mind calm.
She wanted to tell him that she suspected she saw his mother the night they met, but she bit it back, and instead looked out the window some more.
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“Humans destroy anything they fear or dont understand” Roman said with a small frown, looking towards Zaire briefly. He’d seen it too often thoughout the years. It truly was tragic and yet despite everything he did everything he could to protect them, regardless of species.
“Mine were hunters, humans. What about you?” He appreciated her sharing and he hoped the question wouldnt cause her to shut down. He enjoyed being able to talk to her, being able to learn everything he could and share anything in return. Roman took another turn and drove straight for a while. The next turn would be the McDonald’s and they’d be able to get food, he sure hoped the ice cream machine wasnt down.
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He wasn’t wrong at all about humans, they screwed up everything about her, but at the same time, maybe she had been gone long before that. The images that flashed in her nightmares flashed through her head again. Most of it was blood, and gore. She shivered at the thought.
“Vampires I think. I was little….I only have nightmares….but I was found sitting in dried blood in a mansion my mother and aunts owned…a coven I think…. the bodies around me were drained,” her voice was hollow, and she looked towards the road, her mind going towards the memories that were really just nightmares. She closed her eyes and shivered again.
“I haven’t slept since that night. Only when I was with you,” she admitted softly before they pulled into the drive thru.
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Vampires. Damian wasnt bad as far as a blood sucker went but for the most part Roman had some reservations about vampires. Too many were far too cold blooded and didnt have a drop of humanity left. They would bleed a whole coven dry if they didnt have the right defenses in place.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad i could help, though you were probably just exhausted from the attack.” He couldnt see how HE had helped her sleep. He knew wolves took comfort around an alpha type and people felt comfortable around him because he was an officer but he rarely found both. Surely it had to do with whatever Chester had made to help.
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Zaire raised a brow slightly, smiling a little at his denial, it was only slightly cute. But she shook her head and looked towards him. “Why do you think I called you?”
She didn’t care about food, or anything else. She’d missed Roman, and wanted to be around him. she missed the way he warmed her both physically and emotionally. She wanted to be around him.
“You said to call if I needed you…and I did. Not for anything other than you,” she shrugged as if admitting it was nothing, but the thrum in her heart sped up with the confession. whatever it was she had just confessed to him, she just hoped he took it to heart and understood just how sincere she was being.
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As a werewolf he could tell when someone was lying. It came in handy as a police officer. As Zaire confessed that she had called him for him, because she needed him, Roman turned to look at her. He could hear her heart beat a little faster and he couldnt help the smile that appeared on his face. The car ahead of them in the drive thru pulled up and it was his turn to pull up and order.
“Come back to my place? Maybe it’ll help?” He didnt pull up right away, however when there was a honk behind them Roman turned to look at the person who seemed to be having a hissy fit at him having not pulled up. So, taking his foot off the break, Roman pulled up and put the window down.
Ordering some food, Roman also relayed whatever order Zaire said she wanted and once they were given the total he pulled forward just enough that it would inconvenience the guy behind him. If they hit the cop car it would most definitely result in a ticket even though he was off duty. He didnt want the distraction of the asshole that couldnt see the vehicle was clearly an officer’s.
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She smiled now, a little wider than she had in awhile when Roman offered his place. She nodded in response, too happy to speak, but she wouldn’t let it show. too much. She didn’t want him to see her as too eager.
She asked for a medium fry, honey mustard, and an apple juice. She’d given up a lot of the food here, because most of it made her feel sick. Fries were slightly more safe, and the apple juice soothed her stomach if she felt nauseous.
They drove up and waited, Zaire watched the car behind her and tensed. It wasn’t like she knew them, it was just that aggressive drivers made her nervous. In all honesty, she’d been terrified of driving ever since she’d gotten in a bad wreck before moving here.
As they drove off, Zaire relaxed, holding the food, because that’s what the passenger did. She laid her head back and allowed for silence to engulf them as they drove. She didn;t need to fill the space with noise when Roman was around. Her chest felt heavy though, because she hadn;t been completely honest with Roman.
“I tried to find out who I saw when we first met. I did something a little stupid…” She'dalmost gotten her soul ripped out of her body is what she’d done, and it didn’t help her attempts tosleep. She was still so terrified of losing her body everytime she shut her eyes.
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On his best days, Roman wasnt a man of many words. A wolf used body language more than words. He wasnt a dog that barked all day for the enjoyment of others, he howled long distances to connect to loved ones and growled to warn off threats. Today it seemed the silent howl had brought Zaire to him and he couldnt help but take in her scent, though he had noticed the anxiett bubbling off of her and tried not to instigate the driver behind them.
When she spoke again, Roman turned to look at her with a small hum, urging her to continue. He remembered there had been someone, someone he was close to that had died. He imagined it had to be someone in the pack based on what she had told him but she had also not wanted to dig further. Was she trying to now? Was it safe now?
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“I projected myself into the spirit plane. Granted if my brother found out they’d kill me so that my soul would have a fighting chance. You get stuck there, your body dies, and your soul is stuck in limbo,” Zaire cleared her throat, looking out the window. Her stomach churned, but she ignored it.
“Anyways. I couldn’t find out enough because I’d taken some of your wolf hair and it didn’t work the same. Sorry about that.” She smiled in an ironic way because it wasn’t actually funny, but the whole thing was a bit ridiculous. She picked at a stray string on her sweater and sighed.
“I want to try again. If you’d let me. Though not now, and probably with more witches….but that’s up to you.” ,She spoke nonchalantly about it all, despite the fact that it all terrified her. Her desire to figure this out, and to help Roman, outweighed the terror for the moment.
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Roman was….nervous….when it came to witches. The wolf didnt trust the magic, didnt like the way they could control their kind. Roman had seen what a familiar bond could do to a wolf….to a pack. He wasnt sure how it happened but he was pretty sure a bunch of witches could figure out how to take him out quite easily. He didnt want to be their puppet. He had no pack to draw power from and really was like a sitting duck if they wanted to pluck him up.
“I uh…yeah maybe some time” He felt nervous giving her even that much. But Zaire wasnt like other witches. They seemed to have enough in common and he could tell she was being genuine. That didnt mean the witches in her coven were genuine. She had power to pull from whereas he didnt. It was dangerous and the wolf wasnt fond of the imbalance of power.
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She wasn’t like a wolf in the way of smelling lies or emotions. She couldn’t hear Roman’s heartbeat, or anything fancy like that. She was just really good at reading people and their nervous energies. She could tell he didn’t seem all…eager. Perhaps it was fear of knowing who it was, or getting answers. Unlike some, she wasn’t a mind reader. Even the mind readers couldn’t read all thoughts.
Silence filled the car again, but still calm and peaceful. Zaire took a fry from the bag and stuck it in her mouth, pleased that it was a fresh one. She did like them a little soggy, but preferably hot and limp.
“I’d give you a fry, but that’s probably distracted driving,” she mused, taking one of the floppier ones and nibbling on it slowly, her whole body turned towards the wolf. She’d forgotten entirely about her seat belt as well.
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Roman contemplated her offer and her thoughts on the subject. He didn’t particularly count it as distracted driving as long as he wasn’t taking his eyes off the road for long or his hands off the wheel. Granted his reflexes were fast enough that nothing should come from becoming distracted for a moment. So, leaning towards Zaire, Roman peeled his eyes away from the road for a moment to raise an eyebrow at her.
“Do you not have faith in my driving? I’ve been driving longer than you’ve been alive little girl.” He grinned wolfishly with that and reached a hand towards her, palm up, asking for a fry. Granted she didn’t have to give him one and there was a part of him that wanted her to feed him a fry but he most definitely wasn’t going to make her do that either.
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A smirk spread on Zaire’s face as she eyed Roman back, her brow twitching upward. Her exhaustion and anxiety was faded to a sense of playfulness. She bit her tongue, poking it out some at the wolf.
“I suppose you’ve had so so so so so so so sooo many years of practice,” she tilted her head at him, teasing him with a smile. That’s what he got for calling her little girl. She grabbed a fry, moving to place it in his hand, but quickly aiming for her mouth, testing his reflexes.
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He couldnt help but playfully scoff at her trying to call him old. He wasnt particularly sensitive about his age, some his age were but most by this point had gotten over it. Its not the age that gets you but rather seeing those around you growing old without you.
When she moved to put the fry on his hand, his eyes were trained on the road. As she snatched it away before it was let go of onto his hand though, Roman looked away and watched as she moved to put it into her mouth. So that’s what theh were doing? Roman didnt mind playing the little game with her. Tsking some, Roman allowed her once to get away with it, however as he grinned at that cheeky smile of hers, he beckoned her with a small wave of his fingers.
“Come on now, I even beat my sister at that hand slapping game. You know the one?” Surely she wasnt too young to know the game he spoke of, especially if she was trying to see if he was ‘too slow’ to catch the fry. If she tried it again he’d surely try for that fry and likely win considering his reflexes were far faster than a human’s, even if she was a witch.
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There was something incredibly distracting about this side of Roman. Though she didn’t know the man in depth, it was exhilarating to see him grin, or beckon at her playfully. It was nice to see him outside of work mode, where they both could feel ease and carefree.
“I’m not *twelve* I grew up before all this technology,” she responded, almost offended by his question, but the grin was spread wide across her face. She didn’t care really, she was young in comparison to a lot of people.
“Though I will say I was a bit of a trouble maker.” Her records were sealed, being that it was all juvenile and not terribly awful crimes. Mainly vandalism and trespassing.
She grabbed a fry, tempting him again, but knowing full well he’d catch it. She wanted to know if she’d feel a spark when their hands touched, if they did. Maybe he’d just grab the fry.
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He was ready this time. If she wanted to test him he was ready to perform. Roman rarely felt the need to perform, rarely cared about what other people thought. His wolf wanted to be the top of the food chain, the best of the best and he had taken many steps (consciously and subconsciously) to doing that. That being said, Roman rarely had to prove he was the best and when he did things tended to get bloody.
This was all an innocent game though. So, when she offered another fry, Roman let her test the waters for a second before quickly reaching for her hand, not necessarily the fry. If he reached for the fry she could easily drop it and it was too much work to essentially recalibrate after that. It was doable but not while he was driving.
Going for the hand though was the safest bet because honestly there was only so far it could move.
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One thing a pickpocket had was nibble fingers, so while roman had grasped her hand, and she felt a wave rush through her body. The spark she wanted was there, but it didn’t distract her from this need top play the game, whatever game it was. She let him have her hand, but moved her body now. He hadn’t done anything just yet, so she moved forward, and grabbed the fry with her mouth, chin brushing against his hand. she then, twisted hers in his grasp, holding his in hers.
She clicked her tongue playfully, her body still hovering towards his.
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He could kiss her right there. Her lips were so close, lips that a part of him wanted to steal, to nibble on, to claim as his. The opportunity was there. Granted he was driving, shouldn’t be doing any smooching but the road they were on was relatively empty at this point, no cars close by and therefore no room for enough error to be a danger. Roman could have stolen those lips the way the witch was quickly stealing his heart.
Dual colored eyes went from the woman’s lips though as instead he looked down at the hand that was in his. She’d twisted her hand in his so she was holding his. Grinning, Roman reached down to bite at the knuckle of her index finger before rolling his eye and turning away, turning back towards the road.
It was then that he saw the truck. Apparently it hadn’t been paying attention to the lone SUV or maybe the driver thought they could pull across the road before Roman’s vehicle could get to him. No matter how fast Roman’s reaction time was, there was no way he could completely avoid the truck. So, turning the wheel so the least amount of damage would happen, Roman moved to wrap arms around the witch next to him, to shield her from the glass that was soon shattered and flying through the SUV as it spun, the tanker truck threatening to flip the SUV that was warping out of shape. The sound of metal crunching was deafening to the wolf but all he cared about was pulling Zaire into his arms and shielding her from any and all injuries he could.
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There was a flush in the witch’s pale cheeks, her face brightened by it. Her eyes had a twinkle in them that did not exist in previous moments, and her heart fluttered. She’d tried so many times to find someone who would play her games, who would make her smile and laugh without really trying.
She was probably setting herself up for heartbreak, but old habits died hard, and currently roman was a habit she couldn’t quit. It was probably a red flag that danger met them at every corner. Nonetheless, Zaire stared at the wolf, her lips parting as his teeth nipped at her knuckle, causing a chill down her spine.
She’d had her palm read years ago, curious to see if the person was a witch like her or a flake. The palms of her hands had been scarred from childhood nightmares. The woman had paused on her love line, brows furrowed.. She had told the witch that her love line was cursed in a way, riddled with pain. Thus far, the woman hadn’t been wrong.
Zaire’s eyes stared at Roman, her mind leaving itelf as if she were astral projecting, but more like disassociating. She stared, eyes blank like a deer looking at headlights, and allowed Roman to hold her, She felt the sting on her exposed skin that the wolf could not hide. Nothing major, though in the moment, Zaire could only focus on the blaring sound that filled the air, and Roman’s warmth.
She didn’t realize how tight she was holding on to him.
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The SUV spun and spun, metal crunching down until it bit into his skin. A growl escaped from Roman as he did what he could to save the witch in his arms. Despite his better judgement, despite everything he’d been warned against, despite every fiber in his being that didn’t want to be seen as the monster that he was, above everything else, Roman wanted to save the woman in his arms. He didn’t care about himself, he put himself in harm’s way every day. Zaire, however, had entrusted him with her life the second she stepped into his life. He couldn’t allow her to be crushed beneath the metal that was ripping into his skin and drawing blood.
So, despite everything, Roman used his inhuman strength and speed to get Zaire out of the vehicle. He wasn’t really sure how he did it, instinct took over and everything happened in a blink of an eye. One moment the metal was crunching around them and the next they were out of the vehicle and on the concrete. Glass and metal shards were all over the ground as the SUV flipped over and over now. He wasn’t sure which way was up or down but they were out of the vehicle now, Zaire still in his arms as she lay ontop of him. He’d twisted mid air somehow so she wouldn’t be harmed by the debris on the ground nor the road rash that came from being discharged from the vehicle.
Despite all of his efforts to keep her safe, to keep her unharmed, Roman could still smell blood that wasn’t his own. The owner of the truck was likely harmed a little but no, the smell that met his nose was sweet, familiar. Roman was injured, enough that a normal person wouldn’t have been able to walk away from. Roman, however, was most definitely not a normal person. Once he saw that Zaire’s injuries weren’t life threatening, the anger took over him. She’d been hurt. He blamed himself for not having paid better attention but more than anything he was angry at the man behind the wheel of the tanker.
A growl escaped from Roman, eyes glowing a sharp blue and honey brown, much lighter and brighter than his actual colors. The sound of bones popping could be heard as he rolled away from Zaire, pain coursing through his body in another way as his body tried to realign to the wolf as the anger boiled over. The wolf wanted revenge wanted the driver of the truck to feel the pain Zaire could have felt had Roman been a simple human. The wolf wanted blood.
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Time had blurred everything together, it did not seem as slowmotion as people descibed in stories of showed in films. It was fast, and quick, and Zaire could feel the ache in her body from all the tumbling, but the air felt quiet save for the heavy breathing and squealing of tires. The witch found herself staring at Roman in concern, because he’d been taking so much damage in comparison to her. she felt a rush of guilt, had she not been teasing him, he would have been able to notice the truck.
The witch wanted to speak, but then she saw the flash in roman’s eyes, her body feeling nothing but the brisk fall air, and thrum of her heart beating in her chest. She’d seen a wolf flash in the eyes of a man before. Seen it between old friends, or Nio. She saw it now, in Roman, and she felt her adrenaline picking up. She no longer felt the daze of dissociating.
He rolled away from her, his body making sounds that would likely make any normal person nauseous. Zaire hadn;t seen someone change, but she heard of what it was like. Her face twisted with remorse, and then with the deafness of the air, it changed to fear. Not of the man writhing in front of her, but for the man who’d had the unlucky fate of hitting them.
Against her better judgement, Zaire moved towards Roman, trying to hold his head in her hands so he could see his eyes. She knew things because she read, not because she herself experienced them.
“Roman….Roman listen to me…..Listen to me. It’s okay. We are okay,” she purred to him, her voice gentle. She wrapped her arms around Roman, holding on despite the fact that he was in the process of changing.
“Breathe…please breath? I want you to hold me. I need to you right now to hold onto me. think about me, not about what happened. think about me. I’m okay….I just want you to hold me.”
She really hoped the driver was knocked out. There were only so many spells she could think of to fix the situation if a mortal witnessed something like a wolf change.
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Every molecule in his body was on fire. It was like when you have an infection from a cut and your body is trying to burn it out, only it was everywhere. His bones and joins were breaking, realigning, trying to take on a new form. It was one he knew too well, and yet it hurt like it was the first time every time.
When Zaire stood in front of him, all Roman could see was red. Her voice could have normally calmed him down, normally could have stopped him, however as he saw blood on her face from where a piece of glass had cut her, all he could see was the injury, all he could think of was how he’d hurt her, how the driver had hurt her. Another pop and he let out the first groan of pain and he tried to step back. Roman didn’t want to hurt her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he hurt her.
And then she moved towards him, wrapped her arms around him. He couldn’t shift like that but he also couldn’t stop the shift. Pained arms wrapped around her as his hands popped and twisted, trying to change into clawed paws. He tried to think about her, think about her voice, think about the way that she smelled. He took in a deep breath and all he could smell was her sweet blood, the smell of smoke, the smell of burnt metal and rubber. The smell of the driver’s blood. Biting down on his own lip, Roman tried to stop, tried hard to reverse the transformation. He knew this area, knew there were likely cameras. He’d expose them, expose his kind. The camera footage would be pulled to see what happened, maybe people were even watching now and sending for help. He couldn’t shift, couldn’t let the wolf get his way.
So he fought it. Deep breaths, growls, her scent. Roman focused on her smell, not the smoke of the vehicles but the lingering scent of cigarettes, of incense, the smell of her body soap. Before Roman would have said it was impossible to stop a shift once in progress, however the more he thought of her, of the fact that she was breathing, the fact that she was there in his arms, the less there was pain, the less pops that could be heard before finally there was nothing but the sound of sirens in the distance, the sound of the driver coughing in pain in the cab of the truck. He could hear her pulse racing and he wrapped his arms tighter around Zaire as he buried his face in her hair, in the crook of her neck.
“I’m so sorry.” He was barely able to growl out the words, the wolf still strong in the front of his mind but it was Roman that was apologizing. Not only for the fact that he almost shifted, almost exposed them to everyone, but for the pain he’d put her through and for putting her through having to stop him.
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She could feel the twisting of his muscles, the way they cracked, it vibrated through her body, and she made every effort not to cringe. She could only imagine the pain it was to shift, and even try to stop it. She kept her eyes on his, staring into them, her fingers brushing through his hair as they struggled in a tangled mess. Her voice echoing like a little chant, telling him it was okay, that everything was fine. At first she didn’t think it would work, but eventually it seemed to have passed. Her body pressed into Roman’s Zaire held tight, her face finding rest on his neck.
“You better be….I was looking forward to those nuggets,” Her words came out with choked laughter. A mix of many emotions, but truly just trying to make light of a shitty situation. She pulled away, taking roman’s face in her hands and examining him with a smile and slightly watery eyes. She felt a little hysterical in the moment, but she choked out a laugh.
She touched his cheek with her thumb, tracing over the gruff, then ran her fingers through his hair, examining him. She was in awe with him.
“Next time I’ll just let you drive, okay?” She took in a deep breath, and closed her eyes, controlling her emotions was difficult when all she wanted to do was wrap herself in Roman and forget about the world for a bit. She didn’t want to go back to reality, she didn’t want to answer questions, or figure out the mess that was what just happened. Roman was the one with the legal smarts and the ins of the police world.
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Roman was desperate to look into those hazel eyes, desperate to focus on the feel of the blonde’s skin beneath his fingers. Desperate to ground himself, to forget about the situation, to exist solely in the bubble. Just for a couple minutes. Just long enough for his wolf to calm down. There was something calming about Zaire, and yet she was so chaotic, he couldn’t understand it. When he was with her though, he wanted to be more than he was, wanted to be everything he could be…for her.
The fact that she was able to joke, that she was still there, that she was talking about ‘next time’ made Roman hopeful. Hopeful that she wasn’t scared away, that she wasn’t going to run away from the big bad wolf the second he turned his back. Roman allowed himself the moment, allowed himself to crack a smile at her joke and allowed himself to lean in, cupping her face, and claim those lips of her’s. It wasn’t the time nor place, however he was just so thankful she was okay, so thankful that despite everything she was able to calm HIM down. He wanted to do more than kiss her in that moment, however the siren sounds were getting louder and he had to collect himself and check on the driver, especially now that he wasn’t wanting to rip his throat out.
After allowing himself that moment, the moment to kiss her, the moment to taste her, to take in her scent and to allow himself to feel something for someone for the first time in a while, Roman pulled away. He had to. The wolf fought him though, the wolf wanted to pick her up and run away, wanted to find somewhere quiet and away from everything and everyone and wanted to do more than kiss. Both man and wolf wanted that, however Roman knew he needed to do more…knew he had obligations as a police officer as well as a person who was in a near fatal car accident.
“I…can you stay here?” Taking off his jacket, Roman draped it over her shoulders. He wanted to kiss her again, wanted to make sure she was okay, wanted to take her away but he turned around, eyes still trained on her petite form, and headed towards the truck. He could hear movement in there, the man was alive but it sounded like he was hurt as well. Blood was streaming down Roman’s face, there were cuts all over his clothing, however thanks to his wolfy healing most of the injuries were nearly healed. It was always hard to explain that, he was hoping an ally was part of the EMT team, though there weren’t many others like Nio and he couldn’t always rely on Nio to be there to help him cover up.
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For a moment she worried that her jokes would fall on the ground, that they wouldn’t help the situation. Her heart fluttered in panic, but then he smiled and the beat changed. Few seconds before she felt herself melting into him. Their lips connecting as if it were the last of a puzzle. She melted into him, her body against his, cheek absorbing the heat of his palm. She finally got to taste his lips, his scruff prickling her chin in a nice way. Her lips followed after his hungrily as he pulled away, snapping defiantly towards them. Her gaze was drunk, mouth agape. There was an emptiness there, her fingers moving to trace where Roman’s lips left an invisible mark. She smiled dazed and nodded, too drunk with joy to think.
—–
Nio was so close to heading towards the locker room when his radio went off. Now the wolf was a workaholic, but there came a time where he allowed himself to let other ambulances go, especially if it was more urgent. He stared at his bus, then glanced at his pocket radio. He would have turned it off until he realized what channel had gone off. There were times when the station couldn’t have just anyone going out. Sometimes there was a need for what the medic called the super station. Cheesy and silly but accurate nonetheless. He grimaced in annoyance knowing full well the only other supernatural team wasn’t in yet.
His eyes met the witch who’d recently joined, a transfer from somewhere else in the line of non mortals. The guy was good with reality, warping it. Tanner was the sole reason people thought these rouge wolves were bears. He was holding a company issued tablet, reviewing footage. Usually the cops dealt with footage, but it was good to get an idea.
“Looks like we aren’t getting sleep yet,” he hummed, getting into the Ambulance and allowing for Nio to drive whilst he came up with whatever spin they had to make for this.
—–
He could smell burnt rubber the second they saw the other lights. To his surprise, he saw Roman in the midst of it all, and he wasn’t working for once
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Worth The Wait | Tom Hiddleston x Indian!reader
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Indian!reader
Style: One Shot
WC: 2.6k
Warnings: uhh, curse words, i dont thinkt there is anything in this??
Summary: @thelowkeydetective said: “Hey, I wanted to request a soulmate au (with Hiddleston) and take your time, no hurry:if you're on separate time zones, when you sleep, you see the world in the eyes of your soulmate at present and when they look into a reflective surface/mirror the image is blurred. Hope you got which one. I'm sorry for bugging you again but maybe you could make that one shot I requested to be Tom Hiddleston x Indian reader( that way you can get the time difference too and I'm Indian). Thank you😄” - soulmate au post also, to help the story i added another of the aus “Because the universe is sadistic af, it only gave you the first letter of your soulmate’s name.”
A/N: this was so much fun to write and I hope i did good. I havent specified that anything about the reader so you can imagine being anything only you live in Chennai, India (it works so well since Tom’s older sister lives there). Thank you so much for the request and so sorry it took so long ^_^ italics are the dream she has btw
if you want to be added to my taglist, please send an ask ^_^ | requests are open, too.
Drying your hands after washing your face, your thumb swipes over the tattoo on your left wrist. The T stares at you, has your heart fall a little as the rope that holds it in place slowly rips―how much is left of that rope, you’re not sure.
The tattoo appeared when you were 18. All over the world, people wake up to a new tattoo on their 18th birthday, except, most people get the whole name (the first name), and you woke up to only a stupid letter. When you turned twenty, that’s when the probability of finding your soulmate comes. If soulmates are on different time zones, you see their daily life when you sleep.
For most, this never happens and is only something people use to test that they’ve found the right person. Most of your friends have gone on trips just to make sure the person they met is actually the person they’re meant to be with.
You’re not one of the lucky. You’re one of the unlucky who has had dreams of their soulmate’s lives since the day you turned twenty. It has been a quiet ride so far, seeing as it’s impossible for you to find out who he is―the dude travels so much you can’t pinpoint where in the world he is from. A lot of the time, you see manuscripts though, late night readings―Shakespeare seems to be a favorite.
It doesn’t help that your parents want you to get married, have children and have been talking about this forever. Since you were twenty-five (about eight years), they’ve been going on about forgetting your soulmate and finding someone eligible in India, in Chennai. But you can’t find anyone you get along with, and believe it, they’ve tried hard.
The T prompts a deep sigh, knowing if you don’t meet him, you will end up spending the rest of your life alone. Through the years you’ve seen him, you’ve noticed things, picked up on habits he has. Also, from time to time, when you believe he dreams, you’ve left notes, tried to speak with him.
And he replied.
Steadily, you’ve been having a conversation. You still don’t know his name, or where he is from, because you’re afraid to ask certain questions. The first question was a boring yet sweet, how are you? To which he replied, fine, and you?
It became more prying after a while, but it’s only been going on for a year and it isn’t always easy knowing if he’s gotten your messages or not. Though he seems to have figured out when his will reach you.
With a harsh scrub at the T, which does nothing but redden your skin, you let go of the hand towel. One final look in the mirror. Tired eyes look back at you. You sigh once more and get out of the bathroom. In your bedroom, you get into bed and pull the blanket completely over your head, hoping slumber takes you easily and that maybe, just maybe, you get a new message.
People are everywhere, filing to and fro in every direction. They lug suitcases after them. Children screams at their parents. The woman who accepts the passport smiles warmly, raven-black hair tied into a ponytail that waves as she moves her head. She hands the passport back, with a tucked in boarding pass and reaches to tie a piece of paper around the handle of the suitcase. Her mouth moves, showing of a set of white teeth.
Moving, the gaze lands on the boarding pass. It covers the passport, hiding away any information on it. But the pass says it all. From Heathrow to Chennai International Airport. The passport closes shut and is filed into a pocket as the moving stops.
The security check is lined with people. The long line goes easily forward, stopping only a few minutes every now and then. Long, slender fingers grabs a gray box and pulls out some belongings. A belt, phone and keys land in one corner. So does a wristwatch. A black backpack gets its own box. The line through isn’t long. Green tells to go through. The security people smile and nod, and gestures to keep going.
Big hands grab the backpack and puts away the other belongings. People everywhere, walking past in a slow tempo. The big screen that tells the gates shows the gate for the flight to Chennai. Increased tempo.
By the gate, there are few free seats. There is one by the corner. From the backpack, slender fingers drag out a book and a notebook. A pen sits in the spine. Opening the notebook, pages file past with previous notes. Scrambling a date in uneligible handwriting, and then, in block letters, where are you from? The gaze lies there for a full minute, and the book closes, the pen reattached to the spine. And the other book opens, a bookmark placed at the back and a hand holding it by the spine as the other scrolls to the next page.
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Are you allowed to freak out? Are you allowed to keep going over the words you wrote, desperately hoping he saw them? Are you allowed to have your heart beat its way out of your rib cage because you know your soulmate is coming to Chennai?
You pace back and forth in your office, feeling the eyes of your office-roommate burn on you. He raises a brow as you stop, turn to face him and cross your arms over your chest.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“Uhh,” you say, “it’s complicated.” You drag a hand through your hair. Again, again, again. It grows annoying and you tie it up in a bun with the hairbands on your wrist.
Advik pushes himself from his desk, his chair rolling closer to you. He pulls on you to sit down in your own chair, and as you slump against it, he takes one of your hands in his. “You can tell me, I won’t…” He tries for a smile instead of finishing the sentence―nothing you find very comforting.
“It’s my soulmate.” It sounds weird saying out loud.
Your coworker cocks a brow. “Soulmate, huh?” His face gets a playful smirk and he turns your hand in his, but there is no tattoo on that one. Nor can you see the tattoo on your left wrist as you’ve perfected how to cover up the T.
“Yeah, soulmate.” Something tugs at your stomach. Advik moves to check your other wrist. Deep brown eyes look up at you, a frown thrown across it, mixed with something akin to fondness.
“You don’t have one, do you?” he asks, eyes glances down at your wrist again. His thumb strokes where the T hides underneath make-up. “That’s great news.”
Lips pressed together, and knowing people have been talking about you not having a soulmate for some time now, you don’t say anything. You let him stroke over your tattoo, even though he can’t see it.
He pulls back his sleeves and shows his wrists to you. “See, no soulmate.” The lopsided grin that accompanies makes you feel guilty, a stab of pain in your stomach and the far away feeling of impending sweat. “Isn’t that great?”
You shake your head. “That’s not…” The words feel wrong. But how else do you say it? “That’s not true. I have a soulmate.”
Advik frowns, his expression giving away what he says next, “but you have no tattoo?”
“Wrong,” you say and find a wet wipe in your purse. You rub it against your wrist, taking the time to get everything off. As the T is visible, you show it to him.
“Who is this T, then?” he asks, but he doesn’t sound convinced.
You take a deep breath. “I don’t know. I know he’s an actor, and that he likes shakespeare. Uhh, he travels a lot and reads a lot. Probably from the west, I think because he’s usually awake when I go to sleep.”
“So, he’s in another time zone.” Advik shrugs, though a small smile plays on his lips, as if he’s happy with that. “Doesn’t that open up to, maybe, trying someone else?”
“I dreamt it tonight.” You take a deep breath. “He’s here. In Chennai. I saw his boarding pass.”
Advik raises a brow, his smile falling. “Well, then we’ll have to see if we can find him, right?”
“You’re gonna help me?”
He nods. “Totally. I might not have a soulmate, and have hoped you haven’t had one either, but you seem to want to find him. Why not help you?”
You shake your head, unsure what to think but your heart flips at the thought. A grin spreads across you face and the anticipation of finding him has your gut churn. Maybe things will go your way?
---
The bookstore you’re in feels like a dead end, just as every other bookstore you’ve been to. It’s not like you know he’ll even stop by one, you just know he likes to read.
Advik smiles tightly, his eyes glancing to the door every now and then as the bell above it rings. It signals new customers, but so far, you haven’t seen anyone that could be from the west. After all, you’re looking for what you believe to be a white male, and the people coming in... aren’t that.
“I don’t think we’re gonna find him,” you say and slide down the wall you’re leaning against. “How are we supposed to know he’ll come here?”
“Because he likes to read,” says Advik, “and this is the biggest bookstore in Chennai.”
You roll your eyes. “What has that got to do with it? He probably won’t come here, he’ll go to one of the small ones that are way cozier.”
“Y/N, he speaks English, how many bookstores here sells English books?”
“Uhh, all of them?”
Advik purses his lips, but glances at the door again. To your lovely surprise, someone white does come in. A woman with long blonde hair and a pretty face. Behind her, a white man―probably not who you’re looking for though―with more ginger hair. It curls at the ends, slicked back behind his ears and a little messy, but it goes great with the beard he’s sporting.
“Can it be him?” Advik arches a brow and looks at you.
You shake your head. “Probably not, he’s way too hot to be my soulmate.”
Advik chuckles. “Nah, he’s definitely within your league. Maybe check somehow?”
Answering that with a resounding ‘no’ doesn’t work because Advik grabs your wrist and drags you with him to a shelf near the two white people. You’re certain they’re a couple, as it seems unlikely to think anything else. Though they’re not as handsy at the couples you’ve seen on TV in most American shows.
You act as if you’re browsing―which you end up doing―and glance at the male every now and then. The book you pull out has an interesting title, but other than that you don’t really read what it’s about.
“Tom,” the woman says, voice low but not low enough for you not to hear it. “Do you really think this is the place?” Her accent is British, and how the male’s name starts with a T has you glance down at your wrist.
Advik wiggles his brows your way, nodding a little in the direction of the male. It works, he mouths. You roll your eyes, but still glance the stranger’s way. If it is him, you have to admit that’s not something you’re opposed to.
“What better place? A bookstore is the perfect―”
Whatever the end of the sentence is, you don’t get it as he speaks too low. His accent is British, which works well with the soothing deep tone of his voice, which again does have an effect on the feelings flowing through your veins.
You swallow the lump in your throat. The side-eyeing of him seems to go unnoticed, however, still scared of getting caught, you turn your caze back to Advik.
But your coworker isn’t where he was moments before. No, he’s… your gaze lands on him a meter away. The man is stumbling onto the male―Tom―with a book. Wide-eyed you go to him and decide to help. Which doesn’t work and instead you eye a clumsy mess together with the woman Tom’s with.
“Boys, huh?” she asks, rolling her eyes.
You nod. “Yeah,” you say. “That was on purpose, too.” Immediately after saying the words, you want to hide.
The woman smiles. “Oh, so a friend of yours then?”
“You can say that. Only I didn’t know he was going to do that.” You shake your head, eyes on the two men who both laugh awkwardly at each other.
“No, why did he do it?”
“He believes the guy is my soulmate.” You’re surprised at how casual it comes out.
Something lights up in the woman’s face. “Well, let’s find out then? I’m Sarah, by the way. His sister.” She holds out a hand, and you take it.
“Y/N,” you reply. “But I don’t understand how we’re supposed to find out.”
Sarah shrugs and takes your left hand in hers. She twists it to see your wrist. The T isn’t covered up today, and you’re almost relieved it isn’t. “That’s something, right? You know, he only has the initial, too. Maybe he is your soulmate?”
You nod. The prospect of being so close to figuring it out is overwhelming. It tugs at your gut, in a good and bad way. What if it turns out to be nothing like you want? Or to be completely awful? Or what if it’s everything you want? What if it actually brightens your days? And it will stop the nagging from your parents...
“Okay, how do we check?” you ask.
Sarah smiles. “You have to talk, and touch. The touch is important.”
“Have you met your soulmate?” you ask.
“Yeah,” she says and her smile brightens, “it’s worth everything.”
You mirror her smile and let out a deep breath. “Then let’s try this.”
Sarah waves her brother over to you, who seems deep in conversation with Advik. The two men walk over, and the glance over Tom gives you stirs something in your stomach. You press your lips together, and swallow. Only your throat stays dry.
God, is this really how I’m supposed to feel?
Sarah smiles. “Tom, this is Y/N.”
You extend a hand for him to shake, and he takes it in a firm grip that shoots electricity up your arm. She was right about the touch. But she hadn’t warned you about those ocean eyes that rip your soul out and tug at your heart.
“Hi,” you say, voice soft. You bite down on your bottom lip, afraid you’re gonna let something slip. And remembering you’re still holding his hand, you let go. The absence feels wrong, and that alone seems like all the answers you need.
He smiles at you. “Hi.”
“It’s official,” says Advik, “you are most definitely soulmates.”
Sarah nods in agreement.
You just shake your head with an embarrassed smile. “I guess? Wanna go on a date?” where did this confidence come from?
“I would love to.” Your heart flips, does that one-two beat.
So long, the nagging and rumours had scared you. Now that you’ve met your soulmate, you know it was worth the wait.
permanent: @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian
tom: @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn @mindlesschicca @justawriterinprogress @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert
bold in the taglist are people tumblr wont let me mention
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston imagine#tom hiddleston fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#twh#thomas william hiddleston#reader insert#soulmate au#tom hiddleston soulmate au#indian reader#sarah hiddleston
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Season 7 Speculation (SDCC)
Alright guys I got some info for AOS. As you all know San Diego Comic-Con was last weekend, which was a big deal for AOS becuase it will be their last SDCC as they are now done filming (they informed us there that they were finishing up the very last ep and we all, as an audience, sobbed). I did get the opportunity to go and see their panel as well as observe both their meet and greets (I also sobbed there too, it was emotional for me). During their panel, however, something a lot of people forgot about was one of the answers to the speed round questions that hold a lot of potential for the final season conflict.
During their panel on Thursday, the fans got to do their usual Q and A, BUT since we ran out of time reminiscing it was forced into a speed round (and I was SOOO CLOSE to asking them my question! AGH!) The questions were reduced answers of yes or no which one of the last ones was “Why havent the cast experienced the snap” or “Why hasnt the show lined up with the snapture” to which the directors quickly responded, They just havent gotten to it yet...
We all guessed this was coming, the cast would experience the snap and deal with the effects, but now I believe we do have confirmation from the directors/ writers that this will happen soon. Which leaves the question, which characters will vanish?
Im gonna cover FS here specifically becuase I am the most interested to see what their outcome will be:
So in my mind this can only go one of two ways. I am not a fan of the idea that the writers will have one of them will snap away. Considering the fact that half of this season was finding their way back to each other and getting them back to where they left off, it would feel like half of this season would be redundant. All the emotional trauma they have been conflicted with the past 5-6 years has been confronted and they are FINALLY working on patching all of it up! Not only that, Fitz has already died! It is just not the logical move to have Fitz ash away because he just came back from being dead! And Jemma has spent a year trying to get him back! Would it really make sense for Jemma to dust away right when she accomplishes her mission? When they just started to resolve all their fears and traumas?! They would have gone through that whole arc for nothing! No pay off, not to mention it would make a lot of fans mad from using the constant ripping each other apart story line. (Still I would never put it past them...)
So we have two options left; both of them snapping away or neither of them. Honestly, as sad as it will be, I think that both of them are going to end up on the unlucky side of the snap. It makes sense when you think about it too. They have been consistently saying “I am never leaving your side again”. I believe the writers are going to FINALLY honour that promise. Even if they end up doing it in a heart wrenching way, with both of them snapping they will still be sticking to their “No matter what happens, I will be there by your side to comfort you. To protect you.” pledge! It would be a reassuring way for them to depart becuase we, as the fans, would know they are resting in peace for those 5 years TOGETHER! Not apart like all the other times, but finally together like they always should be. Jemma even stated this in ep 6 of season 6 when she finally was reunited with Fitz she proclaimed, “I don’t’ give a damn if we ever escape” because she is perfectly content with staying with Fitz in the mind prison for all eternity. All she needs is to be with him, and we all know Fitz feels the exact same way (after all they are “physically-linked”!)
On the other side of things, the writers could have them both stay. FS are the ideal agents that S.H.I.E.L.D was based upon. We heard Mack say this earlier in season 6 and Coulson say it MANY times. Mack originally wanted FS to work on rebuilding the S.H.I.E.L.D Academy, but with Fitz’s, ahem, incident, and Jemma leaving for space to retrieve him, he couldnt have them work on the project. At least, not until they got back. If the writers decide to have them stay, they would get a 5 year “head start” on rebuilding the Academy with Dr. Benson (assuming he dosen’t ash as well). To add on to this idea, it could also be the chance FS have to finally start their family. (Although this is less likely becuase we have less evidence for it.) We all know the secrecy of the last season has been BRUTAL, but they did it for a reason. It has been speculation that Liz and Iain were seen on set with a little girl for the last ep. That is all I have heard however. At SDCC Liz and Iain were not there for the last signing becuase that Friday they were filming their final scenes together (which A, confirms we have Iain on set, and B proves we have a FS finale of some kind).
The directors also answered that they will be giving this series a happy ending with everything that the fans imagine becuase that is what all these characters deserve, happiness. So I am sure by the end of the series we will see them with their family already made (Yes!!!), but as for all the previous eps, that is more of a clouded line. As I said before, I am not a fan of the one disappears trope. But there is some evidence for it as well... We all know Iain has not been confirmed on set for a while becuase of work elsewhere, which means, you guessed it, a chance for him to be caught in the snap. The absent timing makes sense ,unless they waited to do all his scenes later when he was available, and gives explanation to a missing Fitz in the action (I do have other theories on that as well). Although I pray this is not the path they choose to go on it can be backed by schedules and timing. It is always a possibility...
If you guys want to see all the questions asked I am sure there are so many vids on the internet that you can find to watch the panel; it was honestly one of the greatest moments of my life to see them all walk out on stage! To watch the banter they all have with one another while still staying strong for the fans, and themselves, as they film what will be the last of our favourite show. This post was getting long so I figured I’d end it here but if anyone has any questions about CC I am here to answer them! OMG I was there for EVERYTHING AOS!! I have a 13 min vid to prove it at their last signing... yes I am obsessive but sentimental!! I never knew what was gonna kill me/ be heartbreaking so I just kept filming😅 I have images of them from the panel and signing (I WAS SO CLOSE TO GETTING TO MEET THEM BUT ALL THE PEOPLE IN FRONT HOGGED SO I LEFT WITH ONLY PICS) so if anyone wants to see I can show :)!
(Not the best quality, sorry, but I got them both smiling so woooo!!)
Anyway, I’m sure a lot of you already put these things together or have already known this from the beinning cause we are all so smart! but just thought I’d put it all in a nice post for us to store the info on! ;) Thanks for reading and lets watch the rest of our series with the brightest smiles on our faces! Cause thats all the characters, cast, and crew really want from us as it ends with a bang!!!
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