#because we're making fish
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10.30.2023
Today, Romano headed back home. He then made sure that there were no museums that wanted his Halloween 'costume' for their collections.
#today's romano#hetalia#aph romano#hws romano#10.30.2023#I'm still migraney#might have to take an actual migrane med instead of tylenol#but i wanna be present for dinner tonight#because we're making fish#so that we can cook a small#(tiny)#section of the salmon to give out cat#because today is her first adoptaversery#we'll give the other kitty a tiny slice too#but his tummy doesnt like any actual food#despite hime loving it#so he'll get a tiny slice and then we'll watch him carefully#to give me his meds if needed#(which cost less than mine :( )#both the kitties are special needs but the one were celebrating today is less special needs#voice texting tags is working surprisingly well
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rian johnson took all that time, put in all that effort to make glass onion a fantastic period piece to the first four months of pandemic, a prescient narrative that anticipates the stupidity of rich billionaires, and then pulled the rug from under us because the world of benoit blanc just straight up doesn't have the mona lisa anymore
#Some geniuses in the notes are talking about how it wasn't the real mona lisa#And I'm editing my tags because tumblr is a website with minimal reading comprehension#But the POINT is that he went through all that effort to make the world canon complaint with ours#Only to DESTROY a cultural artefact real or not#Having massive political implications for the world#And that's what I was pointing out. Here and in another reblog that presumably no one will care to fish out#It's in the replies for those looking#Anyway I hope rian johnson makes ten of these without the mona lisa#Also as a side note. So many movies have ignored covid#Not this man. He's like no we'll include it. But if we divert from canon reality#We're going to destroy the mona lisa#Love that for him. Icon#hello void this is ridiculosity#knives out#glass onion#benoit blanc mysteries
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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something something male betta fish will attempt to kill each other if they're kept in the same tank
#satosugu#ever since i saw the akari ED i latched onto the betta fish thing like hmmm#i just think it's ✨ interesting is all#gojo could've killed him on that busy sidewalk he could've done it. was supposed to#it's just. betta fish are just a wildlife example of this town ain't big enough for the both of us#we're the strongest until one of us truly becomes Strong#we're the strongest until one of us starts getting sickly and the fins deteriorate#so comparing these two to betta fish is evil actually because it makes it inevitable#one of us was going to be the death of the other#and gojo had to be the one to take victory. truly become the biggest fish in the pond#but geto killed him too.#the fish could never just live together in peace because to destroy each other is their very nature. whatever#im just saying words. i hate this manga blowing it all up with my mind#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#qeued post
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I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.
Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.
Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.
Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.
Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.
Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.
Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.
Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.
Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.
Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.
Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.
[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]
Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.
Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.
Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!
#Gender theory#I have gotten so sick of seeing posts about gender dynamics that have no robust framework of what gender IS#so here's a fucking. manifesto. apparently.#I've spent so long chewing on these thoughts that some of this feels like. it must be obvious and not worth saying.#but apparently these are not perspectives that are really out in the conversation?#Most of this derives from a lot of conversations I've had in person. With people of varying gender experiences.#A particular shoutout to the young woman I met doing collaborative fish research with an indigenous nation#(which feels rude to name without asking so I won't)#who was really excited to talk gender with me because she'd read about nonbinary identity but I was the first nb person she'd met#And her perspective on the cultural construction of gender helped put so many things together for me.#I remember she described her tribe's construction of gender as having been put through a cookie cutter of colonial sexism#And how she knew it had been a whole nuanced construction but what remained was really. Sexist. In ways that frustrated her.#And yet she understood why people held on to it because how could you stand to loose what was left?#And how she wanted to see her tribe be able to move forward and overcome sexism while maintaining their traditional practices in new ways#As a living culture is able to.#Also many other trans people of many different experiences over the years.#And a handful of people who were involved in the various feminist movements of the past century when they had teeth#Which we need to have again.#I hate how toothless gender discourse has become.#We're all just gnawing at our infighting while the overall society goes wildly to shit#I was really trying to lay out descriptive theory here without getting into My Opinions but they got in there the last few bullet points#I might make some follow up posts with some of my slightly more sideways takes#But I did want to keep this one to. Things I feel really solidly on.
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@thehelplessmortals shared this with me and...Penelope coded.
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She definitely tried to gross out Odysseus in a dumb "You think you can handle me, idiot? >:) " way. (She's stubborn and in denial at first. When she realizes she actually likes him, she's a mess.) And while eating raw fish is normal for naiad-born in Sparta, when she learned Odysseus wasn't used to naiads in daily life, she just really went wild with it.
He's just staring at her kind of expressionless and she thinks "Ha, see? You don't really like me."
But he's just like
"You like carp? Cuz if you do, we got plenty on Ithaca! Many more fish too! And if we don't, I'll get you some!"
And she's annoyed because her plan didn't work. Girlie is self-sabotaging even though she thinks he's neat.
#this is normal for naiads but she also doesn't have impulse control. She'll jump in mid-convo.#...part of the joke is that basically no one eats carp because they're fucking disgusting :D same with catfish...at least where I live#Helen: “uh...I could just shock the water and then you could get them.”#Penelope: “Where's the sport in that?! >:( ”#It's not like a “playing hard to get” she just genuinely doesn't believe he could possibly like her and being a shit about it.#“Helen's supposed to get the happy ending. not me” (which Helen even is like “you're an idiot”) she eventually gets#her act together :D she's overwhelmed right now. especially since he's just head over heels and just... a LOT as he doesn't know#what to do with these feelings either and she gets mad at him for constantly talking about marriage “The more you say it. the less I wanna"#especially with his reputation to bully and fuck with people. and the fact that he lied to her so much when they first met. she doesn't#trust him. He's overwhelming her and then she's finally like. “if you're so interested. we're doing things at my pace.” then things get chi#they're both so used to putting up their guard that they can't genuinely believe this could be something wonderful#she actually is kind of afraid of the fact that “...Do you just have a thing for Naiads?? since you're not used to them?” are you weird?#but he interacts fine with other naiads. and isn't affected by Helen.#shot by odysseus#Mad rambles#my headcanons#odypen#btw. she chew through bone technically :D fish bone but bone#kind of want to make a “moodboard for the Water Wife”#penelope#Water Wife
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it's the fact barton really looks like THIS on a daily basis and still acts like his shit don't stink... like i guess i can kind of admire the confidence, but c'mon now ☠️ JSJSJ (i can just imagine how strong the smell of rot is coming off from him and it's just like — ewww, brother. EW LMAO).
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#WE DON'T TREAT HIM LIKE THE COMMON RUBBISH WE'RE USED TO: visage.#this is also perhaps part of one of the few good parts of the newer joker's daughter comics with duela dent in them bc i'm not gonna lie...#they did duela pretty dirty in them 😬 buttt anyhow i have no idea what barton is doing with the arm and the fish here NGL AHHH#i think he's sewing them together but for what purpose... i have no idea (': bc it doesn't really make sense though i'm not counting-#everything from the comics as canon in my verse OFC because some things are just wack but. i was about to make a joke -#about barton being scrunkly buttt uh he's sick and deranged so ☠️ LMAOOO#tw: blood.#tw: body horror.
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one thing i realized about fandaniel's dynamic with xande that really fucks me up is, like.... there are the obvious parallels that canon draws between meteion and xande, and their roles in hermes/fandaniel's lives. and there are also the parallels between fandaniel and meteion. there's a lot to unpack.
but it hit me recently that one of hermes' deepest, most devastating regrets is having failed meteion, with abuse and hypocrisy and the project he had the authority to make her a part of.
he was painfully aware that he wasn't fit to be a father; that he'd put them in a bitch of an unsatisfactory situation with his lack of foresight; that he was currently fucking things up in ways he did not know how to understand or articulate, much less address. he knew that there was no support system for this; not just for his mental health issues in general, but to educate him and hold him accountable about how to be decent to her, because he knew no one would give a fuck. the closest thing anyone would have given him to advice would be to just kill her and start over.
he says he hopes she'll find a better parent out there in space somewhere, because he knows there is not one to be found for her anywhere on this star, including him. she was one of the most helpless, vulnerable people in their society, and there was no backup for her if he mistreated her, if he failed. and he did.
so of course his next attempt to find a meteion would be an emperor. of course he'd be at the very top of the most powerful empire in the world, at the time. of course he'd position himself as his servant, devote himself to him utterly, and value his authority above all. he wanted someone he could never hurt the way he hurt meteion again.
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv hermes#ffxiv meteion#ffxiv fandaniel#ffxiv amon#anyway. kill me. just fucking kill me#they hurt me so bad#ffxivtag#FF tag#to dyn#abuse cw#honestly it's one of the things that makes hermes and meteion stand out to me among#'abusive parent under massive pressure with a lack of access to education or support; who feels guilty about it and is trying to fix things#narratives#which usually end up pushing my buttons hard#for one thing the majority of the time the parents in these narratives *absolutely do* have access to those things#and just refuse to actually seek those resources out; so they can keep abusing while avoiding responsibility for it#and while actively fishing for pity and sympathy over being abusive; muscling the victim's pain out of the way; in-narrative or out#'we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!'#hermes really and truly did not have *anywhere* to turn about this that he could trust#even more often than that though the thing that really fucking gets me is that the abusive parent is *always* shown to take out their guilt#by *blaming and punishing their victim for showing signs of the abuse*#because how Dare you inconvenience me by being traumatized and how Dare you be helpless living proof of what i have done#hermes does not ever *ever* blame or punish her for things that make him feel guilty and that he does not know how to fix#and that does not make it The Good Acceptable Kind of Abuse by Comparison(tm); it is *far* below the bare minimum#but it makes me feel some kind of way.#endwalker spoilers#dyn: fish inside a birdcage
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Mermaid Melody: Here are two characters who you, personally, will think have the best designs of the show. They're very cool. One of them wears a studded choker and studded armlets. They both have those cool fish fin things on the sides of their heads.
Me: I accept this gift. Thank you.
Mermaid Melody: They are canonically lesbians and are in a loving, committed relationship.
Me: Even better.
Mermaid Melody: One has a red color scheme and the other blue...except the red one has blue eyes and the blue one has red eyes.
Me: Omg, I love that.
Mermaid Melody: They have the healthiest relationship of all the couples in the show. One of them does something that means almost certain death for the two of them and, instead of getting mad, the other one expresses soft concern but otherwise explicitly trusts that the other had a good reason for what she did.
Me: Wow, trust like that is rare to see in any show. You know, you're listing so many perfect things about them, I can't help but feel like there's a "but" coming up, lol.
Mermaid Melody: =)
Me:
Mermaid Melody: =) =)
#do you know what the voice in the dark actually is?#it's me#whispering that it's okay because they're fish#i was determined not to ship them#but i have five episodes left to go and i just...#kaito is like 'I love you Lucia make me lunch and clean my apartment for me'#and lucia is like 'nothing would make me happier this is peak romance'#and meanwhile mimi and sheshe are like 'if they banish us to the darkest depths of the ocean i won't mind so long as we're together'#IT'S OKAY BECAUSE THEY'RE FISH#mermaid melody#mimi#sheshe#sister mimi#sister sheshe#black beauty sisters
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anyways sometimes i wonder if i'm meant to be connected with people. don't get me wrong i appreciate my friends, but like my quality of life wouldn't go down too much if i hadn't met them. i like digging information out of people. they lose a lot of appeal once i know too much about them. i don't really have any kind of interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with people, romantic or platonic. i could take people or leave them. dunno
#they're playing ahead by a century on the radio and it's great#i love the colour of that one. it's pretty much just a night sky. the instrumentals are a dark blue and the white stars#and his voice is a lovely green that makes me think of the northern lights#i know i talk shit but i don't think i could leave canada for good#might head further north eventually but i'll stay in the country#dunno i got some synesthesia that only shows up sometimes or some shit idfk man#though rn i am bitching about none of them understanding the situation from our (mine and my brothers) side#like yeah i know you guys have jobs.#are you trying to search for one for yourself?#while helping your parents business because if that goes under we're ROYALLY fucked?#while worrying about a buddy of yours genuinely going missing?#i'll b real he was a huge help by the end of that job once everyone else who liked me left#anyways#no? none of those apply? then shut the fuck up about us getting the dates wrong. we gave#god fucking dammit im trying to type and hit the wrong button im going to fucking make a bed with the fishes#yes we got the dates mixed up. cope. bitch. we have actual real life problems to deal with.#sorry our shit got in the way of your plans. i guess. still don't see why i had to apologise but maybe im just a genuinely shitty person#one self centered motherfucker#anyways thats my word vomit for the night. might delete l8r. dunno
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the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since
#i love gale he doesn't deserve (most of) the incel slander#but it's painfully such a good riff because it really really does feel like that#the player choices being a b/w alternation between 'hey there' and 'YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF... NOW!' normally is already comical as is#the fact that it carries over into interactions with the party members who you're presumably trying to be close with is... something else#and what makes it worse is it ISN'T jokey hyperbole. anyone remember 'send a mental image of you kissing him or HIS HEAD ON A PIKE.' c'mon#trying to chat and vibe at the refugee camp celebration and the sum of conversation i get is one (1) line asking how they're doing#because going any further than that elicits marking you down for the path of boning take it or leave it#it's genuinely so hard to get to feel like you can deepen a relationship with the characters in ways that aren't trying to pursue them#yes! halsin! i really want to know you better! i just don't want the ass!! why is trying to hit the only option other than up and leaving!!#99% of the time i expect nothing from media creators in terms of writing interactive relationships#larian are beyond parody in that they've somehow managed to do worse than the already suboptimal majority#we're just going to impose the roadblock of do you want to fuck y/n right off the bat. good luck finding a way to talk around that if not#the obscuration surrounding where exactly the checks are really does not help at all either#when the shit's got even the allos complaining about it you know it's BAD#shame because i was excited for character scenes given that's a lot of what's hyped up about the game#but no it's all just the romances. 'what if i'd like to breathe in someone's general direction-' well now have you heard of our romances?#fish fear them party members fear them and tav is going to have to walk alone on this sinful earth#conservative bigoted relative at the family reunion withers era was a fucking time before they tweaked that line speaking of#just so crazy they can get away with this shit#baldur's gate 3#bg3 liveblog
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Next time someone uses the word "speciesist" to describe the consumption of animal matter or says you can't be an anarchist if you're not vegan because "humans > animals is a hierarchy" I'm going to look them in the eye and say "Why are animals higher in the hierarchy than plants? Why are you kingdomist?" And it's not going to be ironically at all.
#also I can't fucking stand ''vegans'' who think eating animals is morally wrong except it's fine if it's fish. that doesn't count obviously#anyways to me eating other animals is about the LACK of a hierarchy. NOT eating them would be ''humans > animals''#because you are refusing to take part in the cycle of nature and what your body & brain were designed to do for the belief that#you are inherently above nature & other animals and can choose to opt out of it all#not even regarding the fact that I'm not human‚ I'm a carnivorous bird of prey and I eat meat to feel in tune with my species#maybe I could survive biologically on fucking celery and lima beans but not psychologically#my point here is though. that plants are living creatures. when you eat a plant you are still killing a living thing.#I'm sorry but unless you are a photosynthesizer or other kind of autotroph you're going to have to accept that you kill to eat#and if it's about the unethical farming to you look up sometime what we're doing to our topsoil with monocultures#at least that's if the terrible labor practices and exploitation of PEOPLE don't make an impact on your empathy
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i am BEGGING restaurants to stop putting cheese and garlic on LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER
#LITERALLY TWO OF MY WORST FOODS AS AN AUTISTIC PERSON#sob sob#i'm going out for lunch with my family tomorrow#and we're going to this place that my sister suggested#and she's like ''oh yeah the food there is so good''#and the menu is. literally THE most unfriendly to my flavour of 'tism#one time my sister took me to a restaurant on a whim and i was happy to go because i trusted her#but i looked at the menu (after sitting down) and nearly had a panic attack#and no i can't ask for anything to get removed because whenever i do it's like a 50/50 for if it actually gets removed#and then i feel like an asshole asking for them to fix it#because i don't want them to think that i'm just an annoying picky eater#bc i've already asked once#for example this place does a chili but they put cheese on it (there is no menu variant without cheese)#but like previously mentioned cheese is no bueno para mi#like i can sometimes have it but only in very specific circumstances#and cheese on top of chili is NOT it#i love chili though#but if it arrives with cheese then i can't just scoop it off. it's already been Contaminated#one time i ordered fish and chips with garden peas and they gave me mushy peas instead and i can't eat that#so i sent it back and they came back a few seconds later with the majority of the mushy peas scraped off#but it still had the residue all over the fish and the chips#and i can't eat that!!!!!#and then because it was a pub and not a restaurant i had to stand awkwardly at the bar trying to get someone's attention#it was awful#anyway i should make a vent tag#shapes.vent
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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tf when u realize you've basically fucked yourself over by choosing a BA degree that makes it so that neither society as a whole NOR the art community itself will respect you... .
#fine arts people look down on me for not studying Real art -> society looks down on me for studying art At All in the first place#i just can't win 🚬🐀#''bwah bwah u arts n crafts people aren't True Artists like us fine art folks only WE know the emotional dept and symbolism an-''#Shut The FUCK Up oooooohhhh my /god/ i swear im gonna start biting any second now#some rando: hates on art - especially modern art#me: ok im gonna be SOOO pretentious about this 👆😌✨ *defends it with my life*#fine art supremacist: anyways so this isn't True Art because-#me: Shut The Fuck Your MOUTH#like???? ? where's the solidarity?? ? ? ?#we literally need to stand together now more than ever in a society that devalues art more and more year by year#we Cannot afford this kinda infighting#i promise you ; lifting up other creative endeavours will NOT devalue your own chosen art form#we're ALL decedent from monkeys living on a spinning space rock who just so happened to coincidentally enjoy putting pigment on cave walls#it's not that deep - but at the same time it IS that deep!! !#ANYWAYS im just fuming and depressed and i have no idea where im going with this so.. . .#does fish make noise??
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