#because uh. the good stuff was NOT worth it
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...Well. The relief at Getting Through My Birthday (and thus having only One Major Event Day left to get through) has worn off, and I am thinking too hard about the nature of human connection again.
#mainly just...I don't get the whole 'don't regret something that Ended Badly because of the good stuff' thing#because uh. the good stuff was NOT worth it#I would take never having those moments of patience or understanding if it meant that I didn't have to feel the way I ended up feeling#and yeah okay I would be a completely different person if we'd never met. but I think that would...be a positive thing. actually.#at the very least there would be DIFFERENT things wrong with me#and like. before? I could make peace with the fact that various parts of me would probably lock me out of experiencing#a romantic relationship. because those parts put a wall up between me and the rest of the world. but the universe proved that#someone COULD make that effort and not see those things as unworthy of understanding. she just...still didn't want me lmao.#and I think that's worse. if people hate me or think I'm [xyz negative thing] inherently then I can make peace with the fact that#the initial condition--the superficial first step--for this happening can never be met. which makes it easier to just go 'eh whatever.'#but for someone to FINALLY not fail that first step and STILL not want you...like even if I'm not in love with her anymore what tf am I#supposed to do with that. how is that supposed to make me feel. how do I like. assume that I can Be A Person well enough to#even bother pursuing this thing that I want. (which. WHY do I want it. that's embarrassing. what about friendship which I KNOW I DO HAVE)#(look at you kowtowing to amatonormativity. unless that's not what this actually is BUT I WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW WOULD I. MY BRAIN#NOTORIOUSLY DOESN'T WORK!!!!!)#maybe a certain pop star is right. the only way to retain my dignity IS to turn into a shrouded mystery#(goodness. you know it's bad when I'm going 'this artist's discography is the only thing that accurately reflects my emotional state')#In the Vents
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What runs/stories do you recommend for someone starting WW? Could you please be specific (/nicely)
Yeah ofc!
My Wonder Woman Starter Recs (specific style 😎)
First stops: for an initial introduction to Wonder Woman, I'd generally recommend going to at least one of three places first. These three are:
Wonder Woman: Historia: The Amazons by Kelly Sue DeConnick
Wonder Woman: Year One by Greg Rucka
Wonder Woman: the Hiketeia by Greg Rucka
Of these I generally recommend reading Historia first, as it's a retelling of the origin of the Amazons as a race and how Diana came to be (so it essentially starts from the beginning) and is also the most recent of the them (if that means anything). Something to note about Historia though is that it's a DC Black Label book, so it's events aren't strictly canon in the main DCU and there are some changes and new elements present. I don't think this is something that should discourage anyone from reading it though, it's the best WW origin story out there, and even in strict main canon over the years her origin is one that has had many fluctuations and small (& sometimes big) changes. WW:Historia is three prestige format (longer) issues.
You'll notice the third book there is WW: The Hiketeia. Hiketeia is a great book if you're looking for a view into Diana as a professional and experienced hero. It's a graphic novel so standalone and not too long, and has a great Diana and really interesting plot (Diana vows to protect a young woman and finds herself pressed against the wheels of Greek Tragedy). This is also the first work with Diana done by Greg Rucka, one of her most prolific and loved writers. A sampling of this work (and also Historia) I think gives a good guide to where to go next in terms of runs on her main title.
Wonder Woman: Year One is the second book on the list up there, but I'm mentioning it last here as it's a bit more complicated in terms of format. Unlike other year one books, WW: Year One is actually a series of issues on her main title, showcasing Diana's arrival to man's world in Rebirth (and also current p sure) continuity. The issue numbering for this one is strange (only the even issues 2-14 on WW (2016)) so I recommend looking for this in trade form if possible.
These 3 books I think give a taste of some of the best standalone stuff in the Wonder Woman mythos, and give the reader a good idea of where they may want to go next in terms of longer runs on the title. So I'll break that down here as a Step 2.
STEP 2: WHERE NEXT?
Here I break down some highly recommended runs based on what they have in common with the standalone books from step 1. As a rule, these runs are going to be much longer than the above and generally more connected to the wider DCU and other books. Look for the italics to see the introduction to each new work. Explanation paragraphs follow after each italic/bold rec.
Curious about Greek mythology in WW and the Amazons' origins after reading Historia? Liked the prescence of a supporting cast and Diana learning about Man's World from Year One? Willing to read a longer run? I recommend: Wonder Woman by George Pérez
George Pérez's time on Wonder Woman totally reinvented the character after Crisis on Infinite Earths, and is fundamental in establishing many core concepts of her lore. At 62 issues, 2 annuals, and a 4-issue crossover event at the end (War of the Gods), it's definitely a commitment to read, but it's the most enduring and well-loved run on Wonder Woman for a reason--it's just that damn good. Lots of focus on mythology (although with a lighter tone than Historia) alongside Diana learning her role in relation to Man's World & establishing herself as a hero and ambassador. Pérez's run also has almost-certainly the most expansive and developed supporting cast in WW comics, something that really drives the emotional core of the series, especially in later issues. Obligatory note that this series was written between 1987 and 1992 and contains some very occasional aspects that I thought were in some way dated/uncomfortable etc. while reading (details of Cheetah's origin, depiction of the Bana-Mighdall, Hercules) but despite that I still highly, highly recommend this run. The word fundamental cannot begin to describe it.
Liked the experienced Diana of the Hiketeia? Interested to see her attempt to balance the high stakes responsibilities of an ambassador and superhero? Looking for some really badass moments and fights? Haven't read enough terrible tragedy? I suggest: Wonder Woman by Greg Rucka 2003 EDITION.
Some of Diana's coolest moments of all time are collected here. Also one of her most controversial. The 1st Rucka run is very much the story for anyone who liked the Diana of the Hiketeia and the tragedy of that and Historia. 2003 Rucka Diana is a Diana tested, forced to make decisions that are anything but easy, and live with the consequences. She's extraordinarily capable, but her enemies know that and are prepared to that end. This run, along with the Pérez run, rank among my favorite Wondy comics of all time (those and Historia are my top 3). This run is such peak Diana, especially in terms of sheer badassery. Her final confrontation with Medusa is in my opinion perhaps the greatest Wonder Woman fight scene of all time. Her encounter with Athena in the second-to-last issue breaks me every time. Cannot recommend this book more.
*a note abt this run is that it is more context-dependent than the other ones listed here, as it's the run that finishes out the Wonder Woman vol. 2 book and so has some guest appearances from characters introduced in other prior runs (Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, Cassie Sandsmark, and Vanessa Kapatelis, to name a few). I read this run before knowing much (if anything) about any of them, and still enjoyed it a lot, so I wouldn't be worried about this really but just thought I'd mention it.
Rucka's 2003 run is published from Wonder Woman (1987) #195-226. You can also find it in trade and I believe(?) omnibus. Sometimes the Hiketeia is included in collections of this series, as the 03 run is thematically similar in many places, just with a much deeper look at Diana and the world & with higher stakes.
Liked the specific characters and plot threads of Wonder Woman: Year One? Want to see what happens with Diana's exile, or learn more about Barbara Ann? Want a Diana in between the extremes of young and highly experienced? Wonder Woman by Greg Rucka 2016 EDITION may be for you.
...yes I'm putting ANOTHER Rucka book on here. He writes a great Diana, what can I say. This run is the same one that Year One came out of, just the follow ups to that story and versions of the characters. I have this run listed as separate from Year One though, as there's some really big time skips since the events of that first volume. A lot of time has passed since then, and there's more history between the characters, not all of it without drama. This run continues to be weird with the numbering, as well as some artist changes, so I definitely recommend looking into reading this in trade format (physical or digital) if at all possible. My recommended reading order is WW 2016 by Rucka vol. 2 "The Lies" (Wonder Woman: Rebirth Special #1, followed by 2016 main title odd numbered issues 1-11), then Rucka 16 vol. 3 "The Truth" (odds 13-23) then Godwatch (evens 16 through 24) followed by 25? But The Truth and Godwatch combine near the end so that doesn't really work either. This run is so good but recommending it is such a pain because the numbering is so all over the place. On God I never know which order to read this in. Going to revoke my previous statement and say read it as Rebirth Special 1, then only odds 1 through 11, then from 13 through 25 normally. That may lead to some weirdness as you read because the two stories take place at different times and have different art styles, but they come together at the end pretty dramatically so I think it's less confusing to read it this way? Maybe? So strange bc this is one of the go to good starter runs and yet it's set up so unintuitively. If someone has a better way to read this then let me know and ill edit, ik this explanation is super confusing bc neither way to read it is totally ideal imo and I feel I definitely read it in a weird order.
Going to call that a good rundown of some of my greatest recommendations in terms of Wonder Woman comics. If anything wasn't fully clear here or anyone (not just anon) has questions or wants to talk abt WW comics/my choices feel free to send as many asks or dms as you want. Have a good day everybody, & as Diana says, may the glory of Gaea be with you <3
#slept on this post for longer than i wanted to but yeah 👍#ive got to go to bed now but this is how id do it#start w the great minis/short ones and then follow your favorite themes into the amazing longer runs#also ik there are some stuff ive seen recommended a lot that arent here. (namely the simone run and legend of ww by liz denae(?) but thats#bc i havent read them yet. also even if so idk if id send them rhere first when this exists#theres sooooooo much rucka on here to be so honest but i dont apologize. there for a reason#also didnt mention the other 2 runs i see starter recommended all the time which is nu52 and tom king bc uh no <3. we dont do that here.#yeah theyre easy to jump on bc they both start with 1 but theyre not a good representation of diana the amazons or why people like diana. or#in tk's case theyre just kind of mid/bad and weird.#idk. not worth mentioning so i didnt#anon if this isnt specific enough for you feel free to follow up. especially about the rucka 2016 because that one is weird with the reading#order and i think i only made it more confusing w my explanation there#diana of themyscira#reading guides#answered
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reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)
if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop
#i've made this disclaimer on another post but will again since i've seen a lot more of the movies now#the movies are VERY good and very enjoyable but unfortunately the first handful are bogged down by transphobic/homophobic/okama stereotypes#they kind of vary in their severity. Movie 5 i think is the biggest catalyst because it features the stereotyped characters the most#prominently. Movie 3 doesnt really have caricatures per se but saves a very backhanded reveal for the end#Movies 1 and 4 are a bit more tolerable if my memory is correct. Movie 2 i think is kind of comparable to Movie 5 with its caricatures#in that the characters have similar roles in both movies#i admittedly can't remember what caricatures there were in Movie 6 or 7. 7 i think barely had anything#RAMBLE RAMBLE BASICALLY: these jokes are within the first 7 movies or so 5 being the zenith then reducing down and down. by movie 8 it's sa#e#i give these disclaimers because these movies are all very enjoyable and i would not recommend them if i didnt think there wasnt any merit#o them. they are all very much worth watching. Movie 5 still has a lot of very enjoyable stuff in it (there's a showdown in a supermarket!!#but i just want to make sure that is clear and established since transparency is good to have and i dont want anyone's viewing experience t#be ruined because they weren't given the proper warning#if it's any consolation it's my understanding that even the directors hated doing the jokes#iirc Keiichi Hara really didn't like doing the jokes and i think had a talk with the mangaka Yoshito Usui and was like 'uh dude this is#gonna age horribly can we maybe not'#ironically Hara's first film is Movie 5. which is again the biggest offender#BUT! that is my spiel. my understanding is that it's contained to those 6 or 7 first movies and i think is strictly just a movie thing#so please do give these films a watch but just be mindful at the same time#if anyone needs recommendations my favorites have been movies 4 and 9 but i genuinely really enjoyed every one that i have seen#i've seen the first 11 and a half movies (need to finish 12) and movie 22. the worst i've felt about one is 'oh that was pretty good!'#each film has its own merit and is very very very much worth watching#22 was the first Shin-chan anything i watched and all my Shin-chan expert friends say 4 is a good introductory piece#in case that influences anything/makes it easier to break in#so. thus concludes my spiel#csc#vid
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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third file of stardew valley and i actually went and died like some sort of noob… i only lost one item but it was my sword!! ik i can recover it easy but like can you believe it. still i feel like i got off pretty easy there
#what it really puts into perspective for me is how weak my sword is#ah yes my beloved yeti tooth. only worth 350 which is not half of what harvey charged me for surgery#need me the galaxy sword please…#i was at level 39 in the skull cavern which is quite impressive for it only being like 5pm and i certainly dillydalled getting started#today was a super good luck day and i just got the permanent luck boost#that alone took me to like floor 20 in about 3 minutes like wow.#then i ate a lucky lunch sooo#i was having a great time coasting by on my good luck but you know what i didn’t think to bring?#FOOD.#or at least not nearly enough of it#i got like 7 pits and they all took me down really fair. new record 11 levels at once!#however uh. that does something to your hp#i wasn’t counting on being THAT lucky…#i wasn’t even like going for the 100 or anything i was just trying to get deeper in order to get access to better stuff#i need a prismatic shard i need some iridium….#peach rambles#stardew valley#big win though is that i forgot sandy gives you a free jug of milk on saturdays#which like normally is like whatever right#but i do not have a barn yet i have no cows i have no milk production AUGHGGGHB it hurts#so it means everything#’how are you at the skull cavern and you don’t even have a barn yet’ Because#uh
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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the desire to write glee s6 au fic
vs
the desire to not watch glee s6 which would be an implicit requirement to properly writing s6 au fic
#gonna be real with u im livin there but i have no desire for the back half of glee#i barely have any desire for s3#but hey maybe a terrible idea like rewatching glee would actually uh give me a fresher perspective on the story as a whole#i've been rewatching some of it but uh yeah not. not anywhere close to all of it#...also if i rewatch glee ill start talking about glee more and like... themes and storycraft and shit... in fuckin glee...#spoiler alert i think its bad#and not because of the deliberate absurdism or anything#that's good i actually remember enjoying the glee aesthetic and exaggerated everythings#but it might be interesting to watch it when i'm not actually a teenager anymore#and maybe wonder if glee actually got worse or if i was just younger when the first seasons aired lmao#but between watching 2x06 and 3x13 and none of the other episodes... the contrast is stark af and that's only s3#NBK is so so so good even the other stuff going on is interesting (and kinda fucked up but that's the glee vibes yknow?)#and it sets up kurt's storyline so so well - thematically with the song choices and the acting is superb and the chemistry omg#it almost makes you believe they aren't going to fumble it 20 times at least over the next two seasons#Heart is like... Worth it I guess but it's like all the other promised Karofsky storylines#hyped up in leaks and previews and then fumbled and dropped unceremoniously#...only Heart was out here gaslighting the audience with some revisionism that makes u go 'hmm' esp after just watching NBK#i mean bold words to say about the guy who has been doing that all episode like k but that aside#dave karofsky did not cup kurt's face and go in for a second kiss only for them to call it “hate kissing”#dont worry mr karofsky i heard ur little whimper 😔#...fuck im gonna need a glee tag yall can mute aren't i?#...................2 to 6 business weeks......................
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and is it just the joy of finally finding prey? Or is it something else, too? Is it some sense of connection to the humanity they lost? Do they see you as a potential new friend? Some vestiges of humanity's need for friends, family, a social group. When you see your sister smiling at you, can you almost pretend it's because she's happy to see you again, rather than happy to find another Living person to devour? When they mumble as they walk towards you, can you hear them trying (and likely failing) to say "hi", "hello"?
Imagine how much scarier zombie movies would be if the zombies smiled when they saw you because they were excited to finally eat. Imagine walking into a building to go and find shelter, scavenge, whatever, and you shine your flashlight into a room only to find several zombies idling there. Your light catches their eyes and they turn to look at you, their expressions desolate and empty. However, the moment they spot you, their open mouths turn to wide uncontrollable smiles and their eyes disappear into slits. They almost look friendly. Maybe even some of them manage to laugh instead of groan. How would you feel after months and months of losing people you know to smiling hoards? How would you feel after every encounter with a joyful zombie leaves you shaken and tired and fearful? How would you feel after hearing the sounds of laughter mixed in with the sounds of screaming and flesh being torn? After everything, what would your brain's wiring process do to you when you see a friend smile? Would you hate smiling? Would you feel rage? Would your brain devolve back into a time where showing one's teeth always meant a threat? What would you do if the joy of the human race was now only kept by the dead
#i normally hate zombies and zombie apocalypse discussion#ableist as all hell#'well what do you contribute to the group' my humanity. my inherent worth as a person.#it's always 'who will we eat first' and it's always the fat or the disabled friend#zombie apocalypses are always used for this right wing hyperindividualistic daydream in which all the '''''weaker people''''' die off#stuff about 'survival of the fittest' as a convenient way for them to get rid of everyone they don't like#and it's such a shame because it's a good lens through which to view the opposite#humans are social creatures and viewing it through the lens of people relying on each other to survive#working together in grouos#adapting and overcoming not because of any individual prowess#but because of the care and will of the group#but anyways uh yeah the zombies are happy to see you and it's an aching parallel to the way i would write zombie apocalypse
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☆ "You Can Have My Last Name" — Zaunites x GN Reader ☆
Genre: Fluff || they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed
A/N: I'm pretty sure this idea is like. Everywhere by now. But people from Zaun/the Undercity don't really have surnames so plot is basically what if Reader offered up theirs. Simple and cute type stuff idk I wanted some fluff
──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────
Viktor
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Mentioned the nature of his lack of a surname rather casually, while venting about how Piltover kept trying to say his paperwork was 'invalid' for lacking one. He explained to you that it was common for anyone in the Undercity, and that most from there didn't have one at all
ᯓᡣ𐭩 More confused than anything when you offer yours, or he at least pretends to be. The truth is the idea flustered him coming from you so casually, so to cope he acted like he didn't know what you were implying
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Thinks about it for several weeks afterwards, subconsciously mulls over how your name would sound paired with his in his mind. He writes it down a few times too, just to test it out. Finds out pretty quickly that he likes the sound of it
Vi
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Doesn't miss the implications a bit, as a matter of fact she IMMEDIATELY flirts back by asking if you'd really give your precious name to any pretty face you come across
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Teases you about the idea relentlessly any time the subject of names is brought up, or in any way she can really. Often makes jokes that she's gonna make a fool out of the name
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Secretly actually very honored that you'd offer it up to her but she doesn't feel like admitting that yet, you're gonna have to deal with jokey teasing for a good while first
Jinx
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Snarkily says she wouldn't be a good fit for your name to hide the fact that she really doesn't think she deserves to be considered a part of your life
ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Ohh, you might be crazy too if you're gonna give it to someone like me"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Feels kinda bad that she wouldn't have anything like that to offer you in return. She loves the idea of having a family to belong to again, but her own self doubt gets in the way of admitting that to herself
Ekko
ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Oh- uh- what??"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Genuinely very caught off guard. Not at all in a bad way, he just doesn't know how to respond to such a sudden and blatant flirt. Quickly tries to think of something to say as you're chuckling and reassuring him it's okay
ᯓᡣ𐭩 He ends up telling you through his fluster that it's not really gonna bring you any good to proudly announce a Zaunite as part of your family name. But in the end, he gives you a soft smile and says it's a nice thought he isn't against
Sevika
ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Is that so?"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 More keen on the idea than you'd might think- tells you it wouldn't be such a bad idea, but you'd have to prove it's a name worth adopting first, teasingly daring you to make it a name you'd both be proud to wear
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Tells you to reconsider once or twice, but mostly because she loves seeing how determined you get when defending her right to bear your name
Silco
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Doesn't pick up on what you're implying at first at all, simply tells you that isn't how that works and you're talking nonsense
ᯓᡣ𐭩 You have to prod into the implications a little more to get him to finally register what you're actually trying to say. It takes him a moment, but when he catches on he falls silent for a while
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Ends up mildly tripping over his words while telling you he's not really someone to give such an important thing to, and that you should get a better head on your shoulders and keep focused (largely to hide the fact that the offer genuinely caught him off guard. He's never gonna stop thinking about it)
Vander
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Actually not against the idea. Seems to chuckle it off at first, but once he realizes you're being serious he fondly mulls over the idea with you while cleaning up for the night
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Recognizes the idea might not be very feasible, but hey, what's wrong with having hope? Everyone's allowed to have dreams to chase, right? No harm in chasing this one together, then
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Promises that once things are settled down enough that he'll try to make it happen with you. As long as the kids he takes in are all alright with you, of course
#Sorry most of em are all like 'omg noo don't do thaattt' Zaunites are very edgy type people (/silly)#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x gender neutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane viktor#arcane vi#arcane jinx#arcane ekko#arcane sevika#arcane silco#arcane vander#viktor x reader#vi x reader#jinx x reader#ekko x reader#sevika x reader#vander x reader#silco x reader#gn reader#x reader fanfiction#multiple x reader#arcane viktor x reader#arcane vi x reader#arcane jinx x reader#arcane sevika x reader#arcane ekko x reader#arcane vander x reader#arcane silco x reader
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So, I decided I wanted to check out this modpack that had looked interesting, so I go and download the curseforge app (cause modpacks are kind of a pain to launch without a launcher... as in I'm not sure how you even do it)
Dear god, which a fucking monster. They've got fucking ads running all over the fucking place
Instadeleted it, you do no get to serve me ads under any circumstances, if you do fuck you, I'm not using you. You're not a website, you're an app, and if you're pounding me with ads regardless of what I'm doing, then I don't think you're secure (and even if you are fuck you)
So I've had to track down an alternative one called uh... GDLauncher. Can't say for sure, but so far seems much much better... seems like an opensource launcher that's just a launcher and that's it
Not that any of you play modpacks so not that this matters, but that curseforge shit was just so bad I had to complain
#also I'm having opinions at this point about having to sign in to a 3rd party launcher in order to run minecraft with it#it's striking me just how much minecraft is kind of... the ultimate drm game and we've just kind of put up with it cause it's good#you know how I got into minecraft?#piracy; pirated a copy of it right when the nether had first been released and decided it was worth being able to play with other people#do no like the fact that you can't do single player minecraft without signing in#in it's defense; you can do offline stuff so long as you're signed in#but uh... part of me wants to pirate shit just from a moral standpoint with it; literally only not doing it cause it's easier tojust sign i#rather than figuring out how to make it work#and also once again; I get it; the launcher is free and anyone can get it; so in order to gate access and make sure they're paid#they need a different gate#but uh... yeah... I guess this is my real point#I don't actually own minecraft#I own all my world files; I have direct access to them#but I don't own a copy of minecraft#and say what you want about pirated stuff; but you do own it#because all the files are contained on my computer; in digital terms that's ownership#true digital ownership is when it runs in a black box setting; no input; no output; just what's on the machine it's on#and when you can put in a hard drive; copy it; and plug that hardrive into something else to have a full copy of it#so minecraft is pissing me off a little cause I don't own it and that always annoys me with anything digital#big believer in digital ownership
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lol my mom is trying to convince me that it’s neat and cool that my cousin spent 6 grand on t*ylor sw*ft tickets
#actually no mom i don’t think anyone is worth that much money to see from a few hundred feet away for a couple hours#she told me like it was some cool thing#and i’m like uh not a fan of hers so okay? 3 grand A TICKET#and she is taking her SIX YEAR OLD#i don’t UNDERSTAND when did this untalented twig become worth 3k a seat#she’s like oh well i see her doing a lot of charity work and philanthropy and stuff#i’m like okay good first of all what is she doing because i haven’t seen that#and second of all why does working at a soup kitchen or whatever mean you’re suddenly worth this rabid fandom#who will pay THAT MUCH to see you
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༘˚⋆𐙚。𖦹✧ rafe getting you a souvenir in morocco
✿ ۪⋆
content: wants to get the best for you. what he would do to get it..
author stamp: he was on a mission out there
“yeah, i’m safe. just got something i need to take care of right now” rafe responded to your question over the phone while shrugging on the coat he just bought. you were aware rafe was going off somewhere to handle something important when he informed you while also letting you know you could stay at his place until he got back. you knew he would be safe and didn’t have to worry, but either way you still called here and there to check up on him. how was it going? was it nice in morocco? you wanted to make sure you were using correct measurements while cooking. wanted to make sure it was okay for you to work on his laundry and that you possibly maybe accidentally shrunk one of his button ups. but you knew not to call too often because rafe would need to focus on completing what he went to morocco for.
“okay, great! i won’t bother you again for the rest of the day, but i just wanted to let you know i didn’t shrink anything of yours this time!” rafe chuckled, glancing at his surroundings. where off to next? he wondered to himself while you were babbling on about what you did differently to the machine when he spotted a stand where jewelry was being sold, a man behind it speaking to a customer. “that’s great, baby, good job. hey, what’s that metal you said you really liked for jewelry?”
you told him which was your favorite, not bothering to ask why, still giddy over rafe telling you, you did a good job. rafe knew that was your favorite, he’s seen it with the dainty necklaces you wear, but he wanted to make sure, wanted to make sure he was doing this right. only the best for you, and if you don’t have it, it just hasn’t been made yet.
“right, right. hey um, let me talk to you later, and don’t think i’m fine with you saying you bother me. i don’t like those words against yourself, and definitely not with me.”
you frowned behind the phone. “sorry rafe” you mumbled over the line. it sounded like you made him upset. you didn’t mean to..
“‘s okay, don’t let me hear that again.” you nodded quickly, forgetting he can’t see you through the phone. rafe, knowing you, knew you were nodding. “can i hear your words?”
“yes, i won’t say it again.” he watched the current customer at the stand walk away. “that’s what i wanna hear. i have to go now, call me whenever you please.”
you smiled at the reassurance. “okay rafe.”
he let you go, making his way over to the plethora of jewelry. his eyes skimmed over a few options, but nothing yet seeming just right for you. “uh..” he glanced up at the man. “this all you got?”
the man’s friendly smile dissipated. “excuse me?”
“hey, i’m not trying to insinuate anything. there’s something i gotta get. just let me know if this isn’t worth it.”
the man startled with wide eyes. “no, no. there is more back here” he discreetly tilted his head behind him towards a little opening.
rafe raised his eyebrow, assessing the opening and the man. he stalked toward him. “okay. but before i go in, i’m just letting you know, if you’re pulling some stuff, i can have this little stand shut down in a second.” he grinned at the now seemingly nervous man. “but until then..” he turned, walking into the opening. “show me what you got.”
he noticed the sets of jewelry lying about that seemed better quality than the ones on the stand. rafe chuckled to himself, seeing the man’s tactic.
he skimmed his thumb over his jaw in thought, picking up some pieces, putting them down, glancing at the man, knowing he wouldn’t dare pull anything. he looked back to a necklace that hung from a rack, grabbing it and pulling it closer to his vision.
“for a pretty lady, yes?”
rafe slowly turned. “what did you just say?”
the man hesitated. “the necklace? is it..for someone special?” rafe furrowed his brows. “yeah, it is. only dealing with you right now for her.”
the seller nervously chuckled. “they can be a bit demanding, huh?”
rafe lowered the necklace, giving the man the opportunity to stop while he was ahead. “not this one. i don’t know what you’ve got going on behind closed doors, and i couldn’t care less. now, how much for this?” rafe wanted to let it go. he had things to take care of.
the man, now more confident than he should be, approached rafe. “trust me, it’s all the same. tell me, is she..” rafe pulled the man by the collar of his shirt, halting whatever it was he thought he could say about you.
“are you kidding me? what makes you think you can say anything about my girl?” rafe frowned at the man in disgust.
“oh, i’m sorry” the man held up his hands. “here, i’ll let you take it, no charge” he hesitantly smiled.
rafe raised his brow. “oh i wasn’t going to give you anything. you’re not even in business.”
the man frowned in confusion. “what..?”
letting the man go, rafe pocketed your necklace, walking out of the opening. he glanced at the small sign that displayed open on the stand.
“hm” he flipped it around to closed. walking over to a nearby guard, he got his attention, throwing a nervous look over his shoulder toward the stand. “hey man, i just got propositioned to mess up business with these other stands by the man that runs that one.” the guard turned, looking to the seller that was now stepping out of the opening.
“yeah, him. he offered me like.. a load of cash. i don’t know what he’s on about.”
rafe watched the guard grab the attention of two others standing near him, and they made their way over to the seller, one seizing him by his arms, and the others packing away his stand.
rafe dropped the distressed look, feeling for the necklace in his pocket. only the best for you.
#༘˚⋆𐙚。𖦹✧ rafe cameron#rafe cameron#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron blurb#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#obx#outer banks fanfiction
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We Help, Lost & Found
Danny after all the things back home settle down (finally), decides to open a little lost and found vintage shop.
(As part of his royal training as prince before his coronation to happen to officially be King, he needs to know how to manage the GZ and have good relations with em, and this is good practice)
The things he sell are given to him by the other ghost who wish for their belonging to be return to someone important to them when they were alive (family, descendant, friends, a past lover, a helpful stranger)
Danny's shop is somewhat connected to his haunt, and with his space core it can have a weird effect to the people passing near his shop, giving them the feeling of them having to go inside because there is something important in there waiting just for them.
-
The shop starts to gain a reputation.
People can understand to a level how the shop had their families old furniture or a specific jacket from your great-gramps, but entire albums worth of picture that you were sure were destroyed in a fire or have lost for many decades tends to raise some eyebrows.
People start to talk.
-
Duke just casually walked by the shop, his neck cracking by the force of how fast he turned to look at this little shop he was sure was not there yesterday: " Uh, guys was I dosed with something or is there somehow a black hole just inside that shop?!"
(Cue the Batfam being hella nosy and -oop Bruce casually going inside to investigate inside the shop)
Bruce: " Hello just checking out at the interesting stuff in he- is that my mother's pearl necklace!"
-
Danny's enjoying the whole thing, he gets to reunite sentimental things to people & and be an absolute troll.
Danny trying not to grin: "Why no sir! I had no idea how Important these things are I'm just selling them, oh I'm selling things that went missing and were part of a crime scene?! How terrible!"
-
Just an Idea
#Lagrange Point#glowy-death-ideas#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny fenton#batman#space#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#ghosts#ghost king danny#ghost king danny phantom#well not yet#he's ghost prince#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp prompt#writing prompt#dp x dc
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Heyyy could you do a oneshot of sh or hs inspired on the song what you need by the weeknd
I Am Everything You Crave - L.H
P: Player!Heeseung X Fem!Reader (recommended age 18+)
Warnings: Non-Idol!au, Suggestive Content, Situationship?, Pursuing, Possessive Behaviour, Begging, Alcohol Consumption, Jealousy if you squint, Mature Content, he kinda down bad.
Synopsis: Working at the campus café was fine—until Lee Heeseung entered the picture. A colleague with a reputation, Heeseung had made it his mission to add you to his collection of women. Much to his surprise, you rejected him. That is, until one party changed everything. You thought you could forget what happened and move on, but Heeseung? He has no intention of letting you go so easily.
a/n: This is very suggestive okay?? since the song is freaky :3
now playing: what you need by the weeknd | fuck yeah by ballinciaga | rude boy by rihanna | shameless by camila cabello
--
Life had its ups and downs. Right and wrong. Yin and yang. It had always been like that, and it would always be like that. Life isn’t easy, and everyone experiences it differently. People make decisions—some good, some bad—and they live with the outcomes.
Your latest decision? Getting a job at the small campus café tucked between the library and the science building. It seemed easy enough. Take orders, make drinks, serve a few pastries, smile. You needed the money, and the huge gaps in your class schedule meant you either spent hours scrolling on your phone in the student lounge or aimlessly wandering around campus. You figured it was time to be productive.
Simple. Easy. A perfect plan.
Yeah, right. Super easy until the news that someone new was starting, and the worst part? You had to train them.
You found out the hard way, too—your manager casually dropped it into conversation while wiping down the espresso machine.
“Oh, by the way,” they said nonchalantly, “the new hire’s coming in tomorrow. You’ll show them the ropes, yeah? You’re good at this stuff.”
You blinked. Good at this stuff? You’d been working here for all of two weeks. Sure, you hadn’t broken the coffee machine yet, but that hardly made you a veteran barista. You wanted to argue, to say there was no way you could teach someone else when you were barely keeping yourself afloat, but the words never made it past your lips.
So, here you were—standing behind the counter the next morning, mentally preparing yourself for a complete disaster.
The door jingled, signaling someone’s arrival, and you looked up with a sigh.
And you physically recoiled, because why was Lee Heeseung standing right in front of you?
Your brain short-circuited for a moment as he stood there, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, looking around the cafe like he owned the place. Out of all the people on campus, it just had to be him. You’d rarely spoken to Lee Heeseung, he wasn’t worth your attention—one of those guys always surrounded by people, mostly girls, and partying like it was his full-time job.
And the worst part? He was good at it. Heeseung had that effortless charm, those annoyingly good looks, and he knew how to use both to his advantage. He could flash one of those lopsided grins and suddenly everyone in the room was falling over themselves to talk to him. Successful without even trying.
You narrowed your eyes as he stepped closer, stopping just short of the counter. For a second, it looked like he was sizing you up, like you were the one out of place.
“Uh… are you the trainer?” he asked, his voice smooth, as if he wasn’t about to ruin your morning.
You stared at him blankly, the words barely registering. This couldn’t be happening. Heeseung—the Lee Heeseung—was the new hire. The guy you were supposed to train.
And just like that, your “simple and easy” job turned into your personal nightmare.
You slowly nodded at first, then answered, “Yeah,” your voice as flat as your enthusiasm. You gestured for him to come behind the counter.
He made his way around to the small door flap on the side, moving with that casual confidence that you already found irritating. You led him to the back, pointing out the row of lockers shoved into the corner.
“You can set your stuff in there,” you said, folding your arms across your chest. “Aprons are on the hook.”
He nodded, tossing his bag into one of the lockers with no hesitation. Then he grabbed an apron, slinging it over his head and tying it around his waist in a way that seemed far too graceful for someone doing something so basic. Of course, even putting on an apron looks good on him, you thought bitterly.
Wordlessly, you grabbed a name tag from the counter nearby and handed it to him. It was generic, just the word Assistant in bold letters, no real customization. He took it with a small smirk, pinning it to his chest like it was some kind of award.
“Assistant, huh?” he said, glancing down at it. Then, he looked back up at you with a grin that had trouble written all over it. “Does this mean I’m your sidekick now?”
You stared at him, unamused. “It means you’re here to learn, not mess around.”
“Got it. I’ll be the best assistant you’ve ever had,” he replied, throwing you a mock salute.
You rolled your eyes and turned on your heel, heading back to the counter. “We’ll see about that. Come on, I’ll show you how to use the register.”
He followed you, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically feel the smug energy radiating off him. This was going to be a long day.
You led Heeseung back to the counter, pointing to the register like it was some holy artifact he’d need to respect.
“This is the register,” you said, tapping the touchscreen. “It’s straightforward, but don’t let that fool you. People will make it hard for no reason.”
He nodded, leaning in a little too close to the screen for your liking. His shoulder brushed yours, and you instinctively stepped to the side, putting some much-needed space between you.
“Here’s how it works,” you continued, ignoring the way he casually leaned against the counter like he had all the time in the world. You ran through the basics, showing him how to input orders, handle different payment methods, and deal with the occasional glitch.
“And this,” you added, pointing to the small clipboard tucked in a corner, “is where we keep track of special requests. You’ll hate this thing within a week.”
“Good to know,” he said with a small laugh, like he wasn’t taking any of this seriously.
Next, you moved to the shelves and machines behind the counter, pointing out where everything was.
“Coffee beans are in these bins,” you said, lifting a lid to show him. “Pastries are in the display case—use gloves if you’re touching them. Cups, lids, straws, napkins… all in this section here. And the espresso machine—” You gestured toward it like it was a ticking time bomb. “—don’t touch this yet. Not unless you want to break it and have the entire staff hate you.”
Heeseung raised his hands in mock surrender. “Got it. Hands off the espresso machine. Anything else I’m banned from touching?”
“Pretty much everything until I say so,” you shot back, turning to face him. “For the next three days, you’ll shadow me. Watch what I do, ask questions if you’re confused, but don’t try to take over. Once you get the hang of things, you can start doing some tasks on your own.”
He tilted his head, his lips twitching like he was holding back a smile. “So, I’m basically your personal assistant for three days?”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re here to learn the job, not to entertain yourself.”
“Right, right,” he said, holding back a chuckle. “Serious business.”
“Exactly.” You folded your arms, watching as he leaned against the counter again, a smug glint in his eye.
Something about him made your patience wear thin, and you already knew these three days were going to test every ounce of your self-control. But you weren’t going to let Lee Heeseung get to you. Not a chance.
The door opened, and the bell above it gave a cheerful ding. Immediately, your customer service smile snapped into place, and you turned to greet the new arrival.
“Hi! Welcome in,” you said brightly. “What can I help you with today?”
The student—a guy in a hoodie and glasses—gave a polite nod before stepping closer to glance at the menu board hanging above the counter. After a moment, he pointed. “I’ll take a medium latte and, uh… one of those chocolate croissants.”
“Got it,” you replied, turning to the register. But not before noticing that Heeseung was watching you intently, his expression curious, almost amused. Ignoring him, you quickly entered the order, your fingers flying over the screen as you spoke. “So here’s how it works,” you said to him, motioning toward the display. “You tap the drink size, then pick the pastry from the bakery menu. Easy.”
He nodded, his eyes following your movements as if committing everything to memory.
Once you’d printed the receipt, you handed it to the student with another practiced smile. “Your total is on there, and I’ll bring everything out to your table in just a minute!” The student murmured a thank you before heading to a nearby seat.
Turning to Heeseung, you gestured toward the pastry display. “All right, rookie. Go grab that chocolate croissant and give it to the customer. Just use the tongs and put it in one of the small paper bags over there.”
He gave you a mock salute, grinning. “Yes, boss.”
You rolled your eyes, already turning to the espresso machine. It hummed quietly as you prepped the steam wand and started on the latte. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Heeseung make his way to the display case, grab a pair of tongs, and carefully place the croissant into a bag like it was some precious artifact.
When he finally handed it to the student, you couldn’t help but listen in as he said, “Here you go. Chocolate croissant, fresh and perfect. Just like I made it myself.”
The student chuckled awkwardly, clearly unsure how to respond, and you had to fight the urge to laugh. Of course Heeseung couldn’t resist being a show-off.
“Good job,” you muttered under your breath as he came back to the counter.
“Thanks,” he said, leaning against the counter again, that ever-present smirk tugging at his lips. “See? I’m a natural.”
You ignored him, focusing on finishing the latte and pouring the steamed milk into the cup. Sliding the drink onto a tray, you carried it over to the customer, who smiled and thanked you.
As you returned to the counter, Heeseung was watching you with an amused expression.
“What?” you asked, arching a brow.
“Nothing,” he said, clearly lying. “You just take this whole customer service thing really seriously.”
“It’s called doing my job,” you shot back. “Maybe you should try it sometime.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” he said with a wink. “I’m already learning from the best.”
You sighed, already bracing yourself for how long the rest of the day was going to feel.
For the rest of the shift, you took Heeseung through the rest of the basics. You showed him how to restock the pastry display, explained the cleaning routine, and gave him a quick rundown of how to prepare simple drink orders. At first, you were all business—focused on making sure he didn’t screw anything up. But after a while, you started to notice something… entertaining.
Heeseung didn’t just follow your instructions—he did it almost eagerly. Whether it was wiping down counters or organizing cups, he jumped at every little task you gave him. It was, admittedly, kind of fun ordering him around.
“Go grab the cups from the storage room,” you said at one point, just to see how he’d react.
Without hesitation, he nodded and walked off to fetch them, returning a minute later with the stack of cups in hand. As he set them down on the counter, he turned to you, that expectant look back in his eyes.
You frowned slightly. “What?”
“Did I do good?” he asked, his tone light but with a hint of genuine curiosity.
You blinked at him, caught off guard. Did he just… ask for praise?
“Uh… yeah,” you said, a little unsure. “You did good.”
The way his face lit up at that simple acknowledgment made you pause. Heeseung looked… happy. Actually happy. Not smug.
From then on, you couldn’t help but notice it. Every time he finished a task, he’d glance at you like he was waiting for approval. And every time you gave him even the smallest bit of praise, his smile would grow, and he’d seem even more motivated to keep going.
“Nice job restocking the pastries,” you said after he carefully arranged the croissants and muffins in the display case.
“Thanks,” he said, his grin widening as he shut the glass door.
“Good work wiping down the tables,” you added later, watching as he gave the last one an extra wipe just to make sure it was spotless.
“Thanks, boss,” he said, standing a little straighter.
It became a game in your head, almost without you realizing it. Every time he did something right—or even just passable—you threw him a little compliment.
“Great job with the lids.”
“You’re getting the hang of the register.”
“Nice work steaming that milk.”
Each time, he’d light up like you’d just told him he’d won a trophy, his energy growing as the shift went on. And as much as you hated to admit it, it was… kind of cute.
By the end of the shift, Heeseung was practically buzzing, his earlier smugness replaced by something more genuine. And you couldn’t deny it—it felt oddly satisfying to see him so eager to prove himself.
As he pulled off his apron at the end of the shift, he glanced at you one last time, his expression hopeful. “So… did I survive day one?”
You smirked, tossing your own apron into the laundry bin. “You survived. Barely.”
He laughed, his shoulders relaxing. “Good. Can’t wait to see what you make me do tomorrow.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at your lips.
You quickly grabbed your bag from the locker and didn’t waste any time heading out the door.
You slipped your phone out of your pocket as you walked, scrolling mindlessly through notifications and you were halfway through reading a message when a familiar voice cut through the noise.
“Hey, wait up!”
You didn’t even have to look to know who it was. Sure enough, Heeseung jogged up beside you, falling into step like he’d been walking with you all along.
“What, no goodbye after all my hard work?” he teased, his tone dripping with mock offense.
You glanced at him briefly, then back at your phone. “Goodbye,” you said flatly, earning a soft chuckle from him.
He didn’t take the hint. Instead, he kept talking, launching into some story about how he almost burned down his dorm’s microwave last week because he forgot to add water to his cup noodles. You hummed in acknowledgment, barely listening, more focused on the text thread in front of you than his words.
But even as you tried to tune him out, you couldn’t ignore how close he was walking next to you. His arm brushed yours more than once, and he seemed to lean in slightly every time he spoke, like he wanted to make sure you heard him—even though he was plenty loud already.
And then there was his tone. It wasn’t just casual conversation; there was something… different about it. The way he dragged out certain words, the way his smile lingered as he glanced at you, the way he leaned a little closer when he joked—it all felt too deliberate to be innocent.
You finally tore your eyes away from your phone, catching the tail end of whatever he was saying. “…but honestly, I think the ramen was just defective. You ever had something like that happen?”
“Hm,” you hummed again, your answer vague.
He raised an eyebrow at you, his grin widening. “You’re not even listening, are you?”
“Not really,” you admitted without hesitation, slipping your phone into your pocket as you approached the entrance to your building.
He laughed at that, completely unfazed. “Wow, I see how it is. I pour my heart out, and you just ignore me. You’re cold.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t ignore you if you had something important to say,” you shot back, finally giving him a proper glance.
“Everything I say is important,” he said, flashing you a playful smile that you could only describe as shamelessly flirty.
You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the way his smile lingered just a little too long. “Well, thanks for walking me to class, but I can take it from here.”
“Oh, so now I’m dismissed?” he teased, taking a half step back but still lingering just close enough to make his presence known.
“Yep. Bye, Heeseung,” you said, your voice pointed as you turned toward the door.
“See you tomorrow, boss,” he called after you, his voice laced with amusement.
You didn’t bother looking back, but you could practically feel his grin as you walked away.
--
After your morning classes, you made your way back to the cafe, already bracing yourself for another day of dealing with Heeseung. When you stepped through the door, the first thing you saw was him leaning casually over the counter, his apron already on, talking to a group of girls.
You sighed to yourself. Typical.
From the way they giggled and leaned in, it was obvious they were eating up every word he was saying. And Heeseung, of course, seemed to thrive under the attention, throwing out a smirk here, a playful laugh there, and just enough charm to keep them hanging on his every word.
It wasn’t until you caught bits and pieces of his smooth, too smooth tone—compliments that were barely disguised as flirty remarks—that you really rolled your eyes. You weren’t surprised. Flirting was practically his second language.
When he finally noticed you standing there, his entire demeanor shifted in an instant. He straightened up quickly, waving at you with an almost boyish smile. Gone was the smooth talker leaning on the counter; now he looked like someone who’d just been caught red-handed.
You gave him a small, unenthusiastic wave back, not bothering to stop as you headed straight for the back room.
Inside, you grabbed your apron from the hook, tying it around your waist, and leaving your bag in the locker.
But when you turned around, ready to head back out, you nearly jumped.
Heeseung was standing in the doorway, blocking your path, a smug smile already plastered on his face like he’d been waiting for you to notice him.
“What are you doing?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, your tone edging into annoyance.
“Just wanted to say hi properly,” he said, tilting his head slightly. “You rushed off so fast, I didn’t get the chance.”
“You were busy,” you pointed out, crossing your arms. “Looked like you were having fun.”
He shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. “They were just asking about the menu. Nothing serious.”
“Uh-huh,” you replied, unimpressed. “And I’m sure all that flirting was part of the menu explanation?”
He grinned, not even trying to deny it. “What can I say? I’m a man of many talents.”
You rolled your eyes, stepping forward. “Move. I have work to do.”
But instead of moving, he stayed firmly in place, blocking the door like he had no intention of letting you pass.
“Wait,” he said, his grin softening into something more playful. “You’re not jealous, are you?”
You froze, blinking up at him. “Jealous?” you echoed, then let out a sharp laugh. “Not even in your dreams, Heeseung. Now move.”
“Okay, okay,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender but still smiling as he stepped aside. “No need to threaten me, boss. I’m just messing with you.”
You gave him a pointed look as you brushed past him, heading back to the counter. But as you did, you couldn’t help but notice the way his grin lingered, like he’d just gotten away with something.
The rest of the shift carried on as usual—or at least, you tried to make it usual. Heeseung, of course, wasn’t making it easy.
He followed your instructions like he had yesterday, doing everything you asked without hesitation. But you couldn’t help but notice… changes. Subtle at first, but as the hours went on, they became impossible to ignore.
For one, he’d started staring. A lot.
You could feel his eyes on you almost constantly—when you were at the register, when you were showing him how to steam milk again, when you were wiping down counters. It wasn’t just a casual glance, either. No, this was the kind of stare that felt heavy, like he was watching you. Like he was noticing things he probably shouldn’t be noticing.
And when you did catch him looking, he didn’t even try to hide it. Instead, he’d just flash you this lazy grin, like he wanted you to know he’d been caught.
“Can I help you with something?” you asked pointedly after the third—or was it fourth?—time you caught him staring.
He shrugged, unbothered. “Just observing. You know, trying to learn from the best.”
“Sure,” you muttered, turning back to the espresso machine.
But the staring wasn’t even the worst part. It was the way he spoke to you. Everything he said was low, smooth, and infuriatingly deliberate.
“Hey, boss,” he said at one point, leaning just a little too close to you as you refilled the sugar packets at the counter. “You always look this focused, or is it just when I’m around?”
You didn’t even look up. “It’s called doing my job, Heeseung.”
He chuckled, his voice warm and annoyingly charming. “Just trying to make it more fun.”
When you showed him how to set up the sandwich press later, he leaned in closer than he needed to, his shoulder brushing yours as he peered at the controls.
“So, when do I get a promotion?” he asked, his voice low enough that it sent a faint shiver down your spine.
“A promotion?” you repeated, rolling your eyes as you stepped back to put some distance between you. “You haven’t even lasted a full week yet.”
He smirked, straightening up. “Yeah, but I’m doing a great job, aren’t I? You tell me all the time.”
“You’re doing the bare minimum,” you said flatly, trying to ignore the way his smirk made your stomach flip.
“Still counts,” he replied, winking.
By the time your break rolled around, you were honestly ready to strangle him—or maybe strangle yourself for letting him get to you. You’d only known him for two days, and yet he was already worming his way under your skin in ways you hadn’t anticipated.
You sighed as you finally sank into the chair in the back room, a half-eaten sandwich on a napkin in front of you and your laptop open to a half-finished school assignment. Break time was supposed to be your one reprieve from Heeseung’s constant attention, and you were determined to make the most of it.
The cafe wasn’t busy, and you’d left him at the front with strict instructions to just hold down the fort, take simple orders, and not burn anything. He had nodded enthusiastically, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that leaving him alone might have been a mistake. Still, you couldn’t babysit him forever.
With a deep breath, you focused on your laptop, determined to finish at least a paragraph of your essay before your break ended.
But, of course, Lee Heeseung had other plans.
Not even five minutes into your break, the door creaked open, and there he was, leaning casually against the doorframe with that infuriatingly smug grin on his face.
"Shouldn't you be up front?" you asked without looking up, your tone flat as you typed out another sentence.
“I am,” he said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “Just came to check on you. You know, make sure you’re not slacking off back here.”
You gave him a deadpan look, your hands hovering over the keyboard. “I’m the one slacking? You’re the one who left the counter unattended.”
“It’s fine,” he said, waving you off as he stepped further into the room. “There’s no one out there right now. Plus, I work better when I know my boss is doing okay.”
You rolled your eyes and turned back to your screen. “I’m fine. Now get back out there before someone walks in and thinks we don’t know what we’re doing.”
But instead of leaving, he sat down in the chair across from you, propping his chin on his hand as he watched you with a lazy smile.
“What are you working on?” he asked, nodding toward your laptop.
“Schoolwork,” you said shortly, hoping he’d take the hint and leave.
“Wow,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “So hardworking. Do you ever take a break, or is that not a thing for you?”
“This is my break,” you snapped, glaring at him. “Which you’re currently ruining.”
He grinned, completely unfazed. “Come on, boss. You’ve gotta learn to relax a little. Life’s not all about essays and coffee orders.”
“It is when you’re trying to pass your classes and keep a job,” you retorted, taking a bite of your sandwich.
He let out a low hum, watching you with an intensity that made you feel like you were under a microscope. “You know,” he said after a moment, his tone shifting into something softer—almost teasing, “you look kinda cute like that.”
You froze mid-bite, your eyes snapping to his.
“What?” you said, your voice flat but your ears burning.
“Just saying,” he said with a shrug, his smile widening as if he knew exactly what he was doing. “You’ve got this little furrow in your brow when you’re focused. It’s cute.”
You stared at him for a moment, debating whether it was worth throwing your sandwich at his face.
“Heeseung,” you said finally, your voice low and warning.
“Yes, boss?”
“Get. Back. To. Work.”
He laughed, raising his hands in mock surrender as he stood up. “Alright, alright, I’m going. Don’t miss me too much.”
You groaned as he sauntered out of the room, leaving you alone again—but not before tossing one last wink over his shoulder.
For a moment, you just sat there, staring at the door and wondering how you’d managed to get stuck with the most annoying coworker on the planet.
You tried to push Heeseung’s antics out of your mind, refocusing on your laptop. But it wasn’t as easy as you’d hoped. Every time you typed another sentence, your mind wandered back to the way he had called you cute. The audacity of him, the nerve—he just said whatever came to mind, didn’t he? Like there were no consequences.
You shook your head, forcing yourself to focus. Heeseung was just being Heeseung—cocky, shameless, and way too full of himself. You weren’t going to let him get under your skin.
Another five minutes passed. Your essay was slowly taking shape, the sound of typing helped you settle into a groove. Finally, some peace and quiet.
But, of course, that didn’t last.
The door creaked open again, and you didn’t even have to look up to know who it was.
“Heeseung,” you said sharply, “if you’re not coming back here to tell me the cafe is on fire, I swear—”
“Relax,” he said, stepping into the room with a to-go cup in his hand. “Just thought you might need a little pick-me-up.”
You glanced up, and sure enough, there he was, holding out a cup of coffee like it was some grand peace offering.
“What is this?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.
“Coffee,” he said, completely unbothered. “I made it myself. Thought you’d want a break from whatever sad sandwich you’ve been eating.”
You looked at the cup suspiciously. “You didn’t put anything weird in it, did you?”
“Wow,” he said, clutching his chest like you’d just insulted his honor. “No faith in me at all. That hurts, boss. Really.”
You rolled your eyes but took the cup anyway, cautiously bringing it to your lips. The coffee was… actually pretty good.
“Not bad,” you admitted, trying to keep your tone neutral.
Heeseung’s face lit up like you’d just handed him a gold medal. “See? I’m a fast learner. You might be stuck with me, but at least I’m good at what I do.”
“Barely,” you muttered, but your lips twitched upward despite yourself.
He pulled out the chair across from you again, sitting down with that same cocky grin.
“Don’t you have work to do?” you asked, arching an eyebrow at him.
“The front’s all clear,” he replied, leaning back in the chair. “And besides, I’d rather hang out here with you.”
You rolled your eyes, taking another sip of the coffee. “You’re strange, you know that?”
“I’ve been called worse,” he said with a wink.
You shook your head, biting back a smile as you turned back to your laptop. But even as you tried to focus, you couldn’t ignore the way he stayed there, watching you like you were the most interesting thing in the room.
“So, there’s this party on Saturday,” he suddenly said, breaking the silence that had been hanging over the room for minutes, his tone easy but clearly fishing for something.
You paused mid-motion, glancing over at him. “A party?”
“Yeah,” he said, sitting up straight now and looking at you. “It’s at my friend Jay’s place. Big house, lots of people, good music… You should come.”
You blinked, surprised. Heeseung inviting you to a party wasn’t something you’d expected, especially since you weren`t close.
For a moment, you just stared at him, unsure how to respond.
“What?” he asked with a small grin, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t like parties or something?”
“I didn’t say that,” you replied, crossing your arms. “I just wasn’t expecting you to invite me.”
“Why not?” he asked, leaning a little closer, his grin widening. “You’re cool. And besides, I figured you could use a break. You know, have some actual fun for once.”
You scoffed, about to reject him outright with a “Sorry, I’m busy,” but the words caught in your throat.
The truth was, you weren’t busy. Your weekend was looking painfully empty, and you couldn’t even remember the last time you’d gone out for something other than groceries or school. You’d been drowning in assignments and deadlines for so long that the thought of getting out, even for just one night, sounded oddly tempting.
And besides, you’d heard about Jay. The guy was rich—practically loaded—and you knew his parties were worth it. You weren’t exactly a party animal, but a night with good music, decent booze (and not the cheap stuff from corner stores), and a chance to let loose didn’t sound half bad.
You leaned over the table, pretending to think it over, and caught the way Heeseung’s eyes flickered to yours. He almost seemed… eager, like he was waiting on the edge of his seat for your answer. His gaze lingered just a second too long, and you noticed the way he leaned in slightly, like he couldn’t help himself.
Was he… entranced?
The thought made you pause for a moment, a small smile tugging at your lips.
“Alright,” you said finally, sitting back in your chair. “I’ll go.”
His face lit up almost immediately, and you could tell he was trying to hide how pleased he was.
“Really?” he asked, his grin growing.
“Yeah,” you said with a shrug, trying to keep your tone casual. “Why not? I could use a night out.”
“Great,” he said, his excitement obvious. “You won’t regret it. Trust me, Jay throws the best parties. I’ll text you the details.”
“You don’t even have my number,” you pointed out, raising an eyebrow.
“Not yet,” he said smoothly, pulling out his phone and holding it out to you with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes but took the phone anyway, typing in your number before handing it back to him.
“Don’t make me regret this,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him.
He grinned as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. “I won’t. Promise.”
The next few days passed in a blur and as much as you hated to admit it, Heeseung was actually learning everything pretty quickly. Sure, he still made the occasional mistake—like giving someone oat milk instead of almond milk—but those moments were fewer and farther between.
You had to give him credit: when he focused, he was good at what he did. The problem was getting him to focus.
Heeseung always found ways to make things interesting. Whether it was asking too many unnecessary questions just to mess with you or deliberately trying to get a reaction out of you with his relentless teasing, he kept you on your toes. And yet, he still managed to meet all the training goals you set for him, almost like he wanted to impress you.
Finally, by the end of the week, his training was officially done. He knew how to use the register, make all the drinks, handle pastries, and even clean up without leaving a mess behind. So, when the time came to hand him his permanent nametag, you couldn’t help but feel a small sense of accomplishment.
You stood behind the counter as Heeseung wiped down a table nearby.
“Hey,” you called out, catching his attention.
He turned toward you, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, boss?”
You held up the shiny new nametag with his name etched on it in neat, bold letters: Heeseung.
“Congratulations,” you said, holding it out to him. “You’re officially not the assistant anymore.”
His eyes lit up when he saw it, and for a moment, you thought he looked almost… touched?
He took the nametag from your hand and stared at it like it was some kind of trophy. Then, with no hesitation, he ripped off the old “Assistant” nametag and tossed it on the counter.
“Finally,” he said, grinning as he hooked the new nametag onto his apron. “I was getting sick of being ‘Assistant.’”
You crossed your arms, smirking. “Don’t let it go to your head. You’re still the newbie.”
He shot you a playful look. “Yeah, but now I’ve got my actual name. Feels good.”
“Don’t get too comfortable,” you teased. “You’re still not getting a promotion anytime soon.”
“Aw, come on,” he said, leaning against the counter with that familiar lazy grin. “You know I’ve been doing great. Admit it—you’re impressed.”
“I’ll admit you’ve survived training,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s about it.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re tough to please, boss. But don’t worry—I’ll win you over eventually.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.
“Get back to work, Heeseung,” you said, brushing past him to restock the pastry case.
But as you moved, you caught him staring at his nametag again, his grin still firmly in place.
By the time Saturday rolled around, you stood in front of your mirror, adjusting your outfit for the third—no, fourth—time. Your hair and makeup were done perfectly, your clothes hugged you in all the right places, and yet, you found yourself staring down at Heeseung’s message with a sense of hesitation.
Heeseung: Party starts at 8. Jay’s place. Don’t be late, boss
He’d attached the address below, followed by another string of teasing texts you hadn’t bothered to reply to.
You bit your lip, the urge to second-guess yourself creeping in. What were you even doing? Parties weren’t exactly your thing—not anymore, at least. You’d spent so much time lately focused on school and work that the thought of walking into a house full of strangers felt overwhelming.
Maybe you should cancel. You could just text Heeseung, say something came up, and spend the evening curled up with your laptop and a blanket instead. He’d probably roll his eyes, call you boring, and then leave you alone.
But then again, when was the last time you let yourself actually have fun? You couldn’t even remember the last time you went out, much less to a party. And besides, Heeseung had been so weirdly persistent about you coming. You could already picture his smug little grin when he saw you show up.
You shook your head at yourself, sighing.
“Get it together,” you muttered, turning back to the mirror.
You straightened your outfit, smoothing out any wrinkles and with one last glance at Heeseung’s message, you took a deep breath and grabbed your bag.
It was just a party. You’d go, stay for a little while, maybe have a drink or two, and then leave. No big deal.
At least, that’s what you told yourself as you locked your door and headed out.
When you arrived at Jay’s house, you weren’t surprised to find it exactly as you’d expected: massive, loud, and packed with people. Music thumped through the walls, and the glow of colorful lights spilled out through the windows and onto the front lawn.
Though the moment you stepped inside Jay’s house, the sheer size of the place struck you again. You’d been to a few big houses before, but this? This was something else entirely. The ceilings were impossibly high, the decor looked like it had been ripped straight out of a magazine, and the crowd of people packed into the house made it feel like a full-blown club instead of a casual get-together.
You maneuvered through the throng of people, recognizing a few faces here and there—some classmates, some mutual friends, and plenty of people you didn’t know. A few offered you quick smiles or waves, but most were too busy dancing, drinking, or talking loudly to notice you weaving through the chaos.
You found a massive coat rack—overflowing with jackets and bags—and hung yours up carefully before stepping back into the crowd. The noise was almost overwhelming, but you quickly found your footing, asking a couple of people nearby where the kitchen was.
“Down the hall, to the left!” one guy shouted over the music, pointing in the direction.
You nodded your thanks and headed that way, weaving through more bodies until you finally reached the kitchen.
And just like you’d predicted, it was a dream come true for any broke college student.
The massive kitchen island was completely covered in bottles of alcohol—every drink you could dream of—all the expensive brands that only the rich could casually stock up on without a second thought. There were mixers, fruit garnishes, pre-made cocktails, and even a blender shoved to one side.
Your eyes scanned the island, and you couldn’t help but smirk. Jay definitely wasn’t messing around.
You made your way to the fridge, pulling it open to find even more options stacked neatly inside. After a moment of deliberation, you grabbed a cold bottle and popped the cap off with a satisfying snap.
You tossed the cap into the trash, lifting the bottle to your lips and taking a long sip. The sweet taste was like heaven, and you couldn’t help but hum in satisfaction.
“Enjoying yourself already?”
The familiar voice came from behind you, and you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
Heeseung.
Of course.
You sighed, lowering the bottle and glancing over your shoulder to see him leaning against the doorway with that same lazy grin he always wore. He looked effortlessly good, as usual, in a casual black button-up and jeans that fit him a little too well. His dark hair was slightly tousled, like he hadn’t bothered trying too hard—but somehow, that only made him look better.
“Didn’t expect to see you here already,” he said, pushing off the doorframe and strolling over to you.
“Didn’t expect you to find me so fast,” you shot back, taking another sip from your bottle.
“What can I say?” he teased, grabbing a random bottle from the island and inspecting it. “I’ve got good instincts.”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t bother responding, instead focusing on your drink.
Heeseung unscrewed the cap of his bottle, taking a swig before leaning against the counter beside you. “So,” he started, glancing at you with a sly smile, “what do you think? Not bad, huh?”
You gestured vaguely around the kitchen. “It’s… a lot.”
He laughed. “Yeah, Jay doesn’t do anything halfway. Wait until you see the backyard. He rented a whole fire pit setup and some fancy outdoor lights. It’s insane.”
“Of course he did,” you muttered, shaking your head.
Heeseung tilted his head, watching you closely. “Not a party person, huh?”
“Not at the moment,” you admitted, taking another sip. “But… I figured I could use a break.”
Heeseung’s smile softened, just slightly. “Well, you came to the right place. Trust me, by the end of the night, you’re gonna be glad you showed up.”
“Confident, aren’t you?” you said, raising an eyebrow.
He grinned, raising his bottle in a mock toast. “Always.”
You clinked your bottle lightly against his, rolling your eyes but unable to stop the small smile that tugged at your lips.
Heeseung downed the rest of his drink, then nudged you lightly with his elbow. “Come on, boss,” he said, flashing you his trademark grin. “I gotta introduce you to the crew.”
“Your crew?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, my friends,” he clarified, already motioning for you to follow him. “Don’t worry, they’re cool. You’ll like them.”
You trailed after him through the crowded house, sidestepping groups of people until you reached a section of the living room where a group of guys stood huddled, laughing over something you couldn’t hear over the music.
“Yo!” Heeseung called out, catching their attention.
The group turned to look, and almost instantly, they greeted Heeseung with wide grins and casual fist bumps. Then their attention shifted to you, curious but friendly.
“This is my boss,” Heeseung announced, slinging an arm over your shoulder with no warning. “You know, the one who’s been making me work my ass off all week?”
You stiffened under his arm, giving him a pointed look, but he didn’t seem to care.
The group laughed, and one of them—a guy with bleached hair and an easygoing vibe—stepped forward. “Ah, so you’re the one Heeseung’s been talking about nonstop,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’m Sunoo. Nice to meet you.”
You hesitated for a second, then shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too.”
The rest of the group followed suit, introducing themselves as Jake, Sunghoon, and Jungwon.
As they started chatting, you found yourself relaxing a little. They were cool, just like Heeseung said. You even caught yourself laughing at a few of their jokes.
But after a while, you excused yourself to the bathroom, needing a moment to yourself. The noise and energy of the party were starting to catch up to you, and you figured a quick breather would help.
But by the time you came back, though, the group had completely disappeared.
You frowned, glancing around the living room. Nothing. No Heeseung, no Sunoo, no one you recognized. Shrugging, you decided not to overthink it. Maybe they’d moved to another part of the house.
Instead, you headed back to the kitchen, grabbing another drink from the fridge. This time, you opted for something stronger, figuring you might as well enjoy yourself while you were here.
With the bottle in hand, you made your way to the main area where most people were dancing. Leaning against the wall, you watched the crowd sway and move to the heavy beat of the music.
But then someone approached you.
“Hey,” a guy’s voice said, drawing your attention.
You turned to see a soft-looking guy with an easy smile standing next to you. His energy felt entirely different from the usual partygoers—calmer, more approachable.
“Hi,” you replied, tilting your head slightly.
“I don’t think we’ve met,” he said, offering you his hand. “I’m Shotaro.”
You shook his hand, noting how friendly his smile was. “Nice to meet you, Shotaro. I’m—”
“—Heeseung’s boss, right?” he finished for you, grinning.
You blinked in surprise. “Uh, yeah. How did you know that?”
“Heeseung’s been talking about you,” he said casually, leaning against the wall beside you.
You felt a twinge of something you couldn’t quite place. “I see.”
“So,” Shotaro continued, taking a sip from his drink. “How’s it been, working with Heeseung? He’s not causing too much trouble, is he?”
You let out a small laugh. “Oh, he’s definitely trouble. But he’s not… terrible.”
Shotaro chuckled, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. “That sounds about right. Heeseung’s kind of a handful, but he’s a good guy.”
“Is that your way of warning me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not at all,” Shotaro said quickly, his tone light and playful. “Just… preparing you for what you’ve probably already figured out.”
As the conversation continued, you found yourself enjoying his company. But out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a familiar figure lingering near the edge of the room, watching.
Heeseung.
His expression was unreadable, but the way his eyes stayed locked on you made your stomach twist in a way you couldn’t quite explain.
You tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that crept over you, focusing back on Shotaro’s words. He was still talking, casually, but your attention kept drifting. Your eyes flicked back to Heeseung, who hadn’t moved, still standing in the same spot with his gaze fixed on you.
There was something about the way he was looking at you—intense, but not quite… angry? Maybe it was something else entirely. You couldn’t tell. It wasn’t a look you were used to seeing from him, especially not with the easygoing vibe he’d always had around you.
You couldn’t look away. Not at first, at least.
Shotaro noticed your distraction, following your line of sight and smiling knowingly. “I think he’s waiting for you,” he said, his tone light but laced with something that you couldn’t quite place.
You blinked, tearing your gaze away from Heeseung. “What?” you asked, momentarily disoriented.
“I said,” Shotaro continued with a slight grin, “I think your friend is waiting for you.”
You could feel your cheeks warming slightly. "He’s not—"
But before you could finish, Shotaro waved a hand dismissively. “No need to explain. It’s pretty obvious.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but your thoughts were a tangled mess now, and whatever you’d planned to say evaporated when you saw Heeseung take a few steps toward you.
Shotaro noticed the change too and gave you a sly smile. “I’ll let you handle that.”
You barely had time to react before Heeseung was standing in front of you, his posture still casual but something about his energy shifted the moment he stood near you.
You swallowed, suddenly feeling a little more self-aware. “What’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
Heeseung didn’t immediately answer, instead studying you for a moment as if he was trying to figure something out. His eyes flicked over to Shotaro, who had already started talking to someone else close by.
“I thought you were having fun,” Heeseung finally said, his tone softer than usual.
“I am,” you replied, a little defensively, but the way he looked at you made the words feel like they didn’t hold much weight.
He chuckled, leaning slightly closer. “You know, you don’t have to be so uptight. Relax. This is supposed to be fun, right?”
His closeness made you feel like your skin was on fire, and you took a small step back, instinctively trying to put a little more space between you. “I’m fine,” you said, forcing a smile. “Just getting a drink and talking to people.”
Heeseung’s eyes darkened, but it was subtle, like a flicker of something deeper, something that was just below the surface. You tried to ignore the sudden heat building in your chest. “I’m sure you’re having a great time,” he replied, his voice low but just loud enough to make you question if there was something more to his words.
You shifted, glancing around the room again, feeling uneasy under his intense gaze.
“So,” you began, trying to change the subject, “how’s your night going?”
Heeseung shrugged, not answering immediately. Then he flashed that signature smirk of his, though it looked a little more forced this time. “Better now that you’re sticking around.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, half-amused and half-annoyed. "Yeah, sure."
He stepped a little closer, almost uncomfortably so. "You should stick with me tonight," he said, as if it were a casual suggestion, but there was something to his voice that made it feel like an order.
“Maybe later,” you replied, forcing yourself to stay casual even as you felt the pressure of his proximity.
But Heeseung didn’t move away. Instead, he held your gaze for a long moment. “I’ll be waiting.”
Before you could react, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there.
You stood there for a moment, trying to shake off the feeling, you made your way to the kitchen. You needed a minute, maybe something a little stronger to clear your head. The noise of the party faded as you opened the fridge, scanning the shelves for something that might do the trick.
You reached for a bottle of something dark and smooth—whiskey, you thought, perfect. The cap twisted off easily, and without hesitating, you brought the bottle to your lips, taking a deep swig. The burn was immediate, scorching your throat, but you welcomed it. The heat spread through your chest, distracting you from the confusion still swirling in your mind.
You winced slightly at the strong taste, but it didn’t bother you as much as it should have. In fact, you felt a little relieved.
With the bottle still in your hand, you moved to the counter, leaning against it as you wiped your hand across your forehead, pushing your hair back from your face.
Was Heeseung always like this? So… forward?
And why did it bother you so much?
--
You stood there in the bathroom, leaning over the sink as you splashed cold water on your face. The bitterness of the drinks still lingered in your mouth, and you couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach. You rubbed your lips together, trying to rid yourself of the aftertaste, all the while trying to steady your breath. The last thing you needed was to get sick and ruin the night.
Just as you finished wiping your mouth with a tissue, you heard knocks on the door.
“Give me a minute,” you shouted, your voice a little tighter than you intended as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You were trying to compose yourself, trying to act like everything was fine, even though you were sure it wasn’t.
You grabbed your lipstick from your bag, carefully applying it to your lips. Then, before you could finish, the door suddenly swung open, and you froze.
Standing in the doorway was Heeseung, his expression unreadable as he stepped inside, blocking the exit with his body. You blinked, unable to mask your shock.
“Heeseung—”
He didn’t let you finish. Without a word, he closed and locked the door behind him, the click of the lock echoing in the small, quiet room.
Your heart raced, and you instinctively took a step back, eyes widening as you tried to process the sudden change in the atmosphere.
“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you’d intended.
Heeseung didn’t respond immediately, his eyes scanning your face as if he was taking his time to study you. The playful smile that was usually on his lips was gone, replaced by something more serious, more intense. He took a slow step toward you, and you instinctively stepped back, your back hitting the sink with a small jolt.
“You’re avoiding me,” he finally said, his tone low and steady.
“I’m not avoiding you,” you protested, though even you could tell it didn’t sound convincing.
Heeseung raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking up slightly. “Then why are you not beside me?”
You swallowed, the heat of his gaze making you feel trapped in the small space. “I am—”
“Don’t lie to me,” he interrupted, his voice soft but insistent. “I know what you’re doing.”
Your chest tightened as the distance between you grew smaller. You couldn’t help the way your body reacted to his proximity—how your breath caught in your throat, how your pulse quickened.
You opened your mouth to say something, anything to break the tension, but Heeseung cut you off. “I’ve been waiting for you to stop running from me, to give in and see,” he said, his voice smooth. “And I’m not going to let you get away tonight.”
Your heart hammered in your chest, and the world around you seemed to narrow down to just Heeseung, his gaze never leaving yours.
Your mind was racing, thoughts scattered in every direction as Heeseung closed the distance between you. His bottle was placed carelessly on the counter behind you, the sound of glass clinking against porcelain barely reaching your ears over the pounding of your heartbeat. His eyes never wavered from yours, as he leaned down, his arms caging you in against the sink.
You couldn’t help but look down at his lips. They were so close—too close—and you felt the pull toward them. Was it the alcohol clouding your thoughts? Or was it simply him?
You didn’t know. All you knew was that the bathroom suddenly felt unbearably hot.
Your mind screamed to pull away, to stop this before it went any further, but your body betrayed you. The space between you closed completely, and before you could say anything—or even fully register what was happening—Heeseung kissed you.
It was fast, surprising, and far more urgent than you expected. His lips were warm against yours, and for a split second, you froze. The kiss was deep, his hand coming to rest beside your face, his thumb brushing against your jaw. You could feel the force of his kiss, the way he was pulling you into him, and something inside you stirred.
You couldn’t think. You couldn’t focus on anything but the heat of his kiss, the way it made your heart race.
And then, just as suddenly as it had started, he pulled away slightly, his lips hovering just above yours. His eyes were hungry—more intense than you had ever seen them before.
"You don’t have to say anything," he murmured, his voice low, almost like a warning. His lips brushed against yours again, a fleeting touch that made your stomach twist. "I know what you’re thinking."
You swallowed, your mind a blur as you tried to make sense of what had just happened. But the only thing you could focus on was him.
Heeseung didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, his fingers brushed against your skin, tracing a path down your neck as he moved to kiss you again, more slowly this time, as if savoring the moment.
And despite everything inside you telling you to stop—to pull away and think—you couldn’t. You didn’t want to.
Your hands instinctively moved to his neck, pulling him closer as you kissed him back, the feel of his lips against yours made everything inside you tighten. The kiss deepened, and that was when you felt him shift, his hands slipping under your thighs and lifting you effortlessly off the ground. The action caught you off guard for a moment, but you didn’t have time to process it before he set you down on the counter, careful to avoid the sink.
His body moved in between your legs, and you instinctively parted them to make room for him, while his hands slid up your sides, fingers brushing the curve of your waist.
At that moment everything felt like it was spiraling out of control. But instead of pulling away, you found yourself leaning closer to him, your hands tugging at the hem of his shirt, desperate for more contact.
There was no going back now, no hesitation.
The only thing that mattered was the way his body pressed against yours, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the room. You weren’t quite sure who was losing control more: him or you.
Your hands, naturally, found their way to his biceps, grasping tightly as if to anchor yourself.
Heeseung's kisses became more intense, his tongue dancing with yours, and you could feel his hands, warm and strong, as they slowly made their way under your shirt.
Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the warmth of his hands on your skin. His touch sent a shiver down your spine, a delightful sensation.
As Heeseung's hands continued their journey, his moan escaped his lips, a low sound which sent a jolt of electricity through your body, and you couldn't help but grip his biceps tighter, your nails slightly digging into his skin.
Heeseung's moan turned into a growl as he felt your response. With a sudden movement, he ripped off his shirt, a few of the buttons flying in all directions.
The sight of Heeseung's bare chest took your breath away. His muscles, defined and strong, glistened with a slight sheen of sweat.
As Heeseung's shirt fell to the ground, he pulled you closer, his lips never leaving yours. His hands, now free, roamed over your back, tracing the curve of your spine, and then down to your waist, where he gently squeezed.
Heeseung's lips left yours for a moment, only to trail kisses down your neck, his tongue teasing the sensitive skin there. You let out a soft whine, your body arching into his touch, inviting him to continue.
Heeseung's hands, slowly and deliberately pulled up your shirt, gently sliding the garment off your shoulders, his eyes never leaving yours.
With a subtle smile, Heeseung slung your shirt over his shoulder, his hands, now free to explore, slipped up your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
You leaned back against the mirror, your legs parted slightly as Heeseung's hands continued their journey, their grip tightening as they reached the top of your thighs.
Your breath caught in your throat as you looked down at Heeseung, his chest, still heaving from the intensity of the kiss, rose and fell with each breath. You could feel his fingers trace the curves, his thumbs gently massaging.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "I could look at you forever."
"I could say the same about you," you replied, your voice soft. "Every inch of you is perfection."
Heeseung's lips twitched into a soft smile. "Don't say that unless you mean it," he murmured, his voice quieter now, almost unsure.
You tilted your head slightly, your hands looped loosely around his neck. "I do mean it," you said firmly, your voice steady despite the way your heart was racing. "Every word."
For a moment, Heeseung didn’t say anything. He just stood there, staring at you as if trying to memorize every detail of your face. His grip on your waist tightened slightly.
"You have no idea what you’re doing to me," he said finally, his voice low, almost a whisper, like the words weren’t meant for anyone else but you.
Your lips parted, unsure of how to respond. But before you could say anything, he leaned in again, capturing your lips with his in a kiss that was softer this time, slower, as if he was savoring every second.
His hands slid up to cradle your face, his touch gentle, and you couldn’t help but melt into him. The way he kissed you made your head spin, every thought slipping away until all you could feel was him.
When he pulled back, his forehead rested lightly against yours, both of you breathing heavily. "I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you," he admitted.
You breathed out shakily, leaning forward to kiss him again, unable to resist. Heeseung groaned softly against your mouth, his hands tightening around your waist as if he never wanted to let go.
But the sudden, rapid knocking on the bathroom door shattered the moment like glass. "Come on, man! Some of us need to pee!" someone shouted, their voice muffled but impatient.
You both froze, and then, as if in sync, you both pulled back with a wet sound, the abrupt loss of contact leaving you cold. You quickly slid off the sink, your legs shaky as you adjusted your balance. Heeseung stepped back to give you space, his lips slightly swollen, his hair tousled from your hands.
You grabbed your shirt from where it had been discarded and slipped it back on with trembling fingers, avoiding his gaze as your heart pounded in your chest. Heeseung, meanwhile, reached for his own shirt, pulling it on hastily as the knocking grew louder.
"You guys gonna stay in there all night?" a different voice called, followed by a round of laughter from the hallway.
Your face burned as you yanked open the door, not sparing a glance at the group of people gathered outside, their expressions ranging from amused to curious. Shouldering past them, you strode down the hallway and out into the main area of the party, your breath still uneven, your mind racing.
You didn’t stop, didn’t even turn around to see if Heeseung was following. The music felt too loud, the crowd too suffocating, and you needed air. Pushing past the groups of people dancing and talking, you made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and twisting it open with shaking hands.
Taking a long sip, you leaned against the counter, trying to calm the chaotic mess of emotions swirling inside you. What had just happened? One minute, you were at a party, trying to have a good time, and the next…
"Hey," a familiar voice said softly, and you stiffened.
Turning slowly, you saw Heeseung standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his expression unreadable. His shirt was wrinkled, his lips still slightly parted as if he’d run after you but didn’t know what to say now that he’d found you.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice tentative, his dark eyes scanning your face as if trying to gauge how you were feeling.
You let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through your hair. "I… I don’t know," you admitted, your voice quieter than you expected. "I just needed a second to breathe."
Heeseung nodded, stepping further into the room but keeping a careful distance, as if he didn’t want to overwhelm you. "I’m sorry if that was… too much," he said, his voice soft, almost apologetic. "I didn’t mean to—"
"Don’t apologize," you interrupted, surprising both of you with the firmness in your tone. "It wasn’t just you, Heeseung."
Your words seemed to relax him slightly, his shoulders easing as he took another cautious step closer. "Still," he said, his lips quirking into a faint smile, "next time, maybe we pick a place with fewer interruptions."
His playful tone made you roll your eyes, but you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. "Next time?" you asked, arching an eyebrow.
Heeseung grinned, his confidence creeping back as he leaned closer. "Oh, come on. You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that."
You froze for a moment, your breath catching in your throat as Heeseung stood right in front of you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off him. His grin softened into something more intense as he reached out, his fingers brushing lightly under your jaw, tilting your head up so your eyes met his.
“Why so quiet now?” he teased softly, his voice dipping lower, his lips just a whisper away from yours. “You’re usually so good with comebacks.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. Heeseung’s gaze flickered to your lips, and before you could think or speak, he leaned in, so close your noses brushed. “You drive me so crazy,” he murmured, his voice barely audible over the thump of the music in the other room.
And before you could react, his lips were on yours again, stealing the breath right out of your lungs.
It was different this time—not hurried or rushed like before, but deliberate, as if he wanted to make you feel every second of it. His hand slid from your jaw to the back of your neck, holding you gently but firmly as he kissed you, and your body responded almost instinctively.
Your hands found their way to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you kissed him back, your head spinning. Heeseung let out a low hum of satisfaction, the sound vibrating against your lips as he deepened the kiss, his other hand settling on your waist.
You barely registered the cool surface of the kitchen counter pressing against your lower back as he guided you gently but firmly against it, his body close enough to make you feel like you were burning up from the inside out.
When he finally pulled back, just enough to catch his breath, his lips hovered near yours, his forehead pressing lightly against yours. “See?” he whispered, his voice rough and uneven. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel this.”
Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at him, you didn’t trust yourself to speak, so instead, you reached up and pulled him back down into another kiss, your answer clear in the way your lips moved against his.
Heeseung chuckled softly against your mouth, his grip on your waist tightening like he didn’t want to let you go.
But somewhere in the back of your mind, a small voice reminded you where you were, what you were doing, and how very public this all was. Reluctantly, you broke the kiss, your breathing ragged as you pushed lightly against his chest.
“Heeseung,” you started, your voice shaky, “we’re in the middle of the kitchen. Anyone could walk in.”
Heeseung smirked, clearly unbothered, as he leaned down to press a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Let them,” he said, his voice low and full of mischief. “Maybe they’ll finally understand that you’re mine.”
Before you could even form a response, Heeseung’s lips crashed into yours again, more desperate this time, as though he couldn’t stand the idea of even a few seconds without kissing you. His hands cupped your face, holding you firmly in place.
Your protests—if there had been any—dissolved almost instantly, and all you could do was cling to him, your hands fisting the fabric of his shirt as his body pressed closer to yours.
You felt his hands slide down from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him as if he needed to feel you, to confirm that you were there, that this wasn’t just some dream.
“Heeseung—” you tried to say, breaking the kiss briefly to catch your breath, but he didn’t let you get far.
“Don’t,” he murmured, his voice rough and low, as if he was barely holding himself together. “Just… don’t. Please.”
Before you could think, his lips were on yours again, and this time it was slower but no less intense. His hands tightened on your waist, grounding you, and you found yourself sinking further into him.
You didn’t even notice the kitchen had gone quiet until the sound of someone clearing their throat broke through the haze.
Your eyes flew open, and Heeseung reluctantly pulled back, his breathing heavy as he turned toward the source of the interruption. Standing in the doorway was Jay, a drink in his hand and an amused smirk plastered across his face.
“Should I come back later?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.
Your face burned with embarrassment as you quickly pushed Heeseung away, smoothing your clothes and trying to look like you hadn’t just been thoroughly kissed. Heeseung, on the other hand, looked completely unbothered.
“Not at all,” Heeseung replied smoothly, leaning casually against the counter as if nothing had happened. But the slight curve of his lips told you he was very aware of what just happened—and that he wasn’t ashamed in the slightest.
Jay chuckled, shaking his head as he walked into the kitchen. “Well, don’t let me stop you two. Just don’t break anything, yeah? I’d rather not explain that to my parents.”
You shot Jay a glare, but he just grinned and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before leaving you alone with Heeseung again.
As soon as Jay was gone, you turned to Heeseung, narrowing your eyes at him. “You really have no shame, do you?”
Heeseung just shrugged, his smirk widening. “Not when it comes to you.”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“Come on,” he said, reaching for your hand. “Let’s get out of here. I’m not done with you yet.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, but you let him take your hand, curiosity and excitement bubbling in your chest as he led you out of the kitchen.
Heeseung led you up the stairs, his hand firmly wrapped around yours as he maneuvered through the crowded hallway. The music downstairs grew fainter with every step, fading away until it was just the two of you at the end of a dimly lit corridor.
He stopped in front of a door, glancing back at you with a small smile before turning the handle and pulling you inside. The room was quiet, smelling faintly of cologne and freshly washed sheets, and you barely had a moment to take it all in before Heeseung closed the door and locked it with a soft click.
When he turned back to you, his eyes were darker, filled with an intensity that made your stomach flip. He didn’t say anything as he took a step closer, and then another, until there was barely any space left between you.
“Heeseung—” you started, your voice a mix of hesitation and anticipation, but he silenced you with a kiss.
His lips were on yours in an instant, firm and unrelenting, as if he’d been holding himself back for too long and couldn’t wait any longer. His hands found your waist, pulling you flush against him.
You couldn’t help but respond, your hands finding their way to his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fervently. It was like he had unlocked something inside you, something that craved the way he made you feel—like you were the only thing that mattered to him.
Heeseung broke the kiss just long enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered, “I’ve wanted this… wanted you… for so long.”
His words made your heart race, and before you could even process them, his lips trailing down to your jaw and to the curve of your neck, his movements slow, like he was savoring every inch of your skin. The soft warmth of his mouth sent shivers down your spine, but it wasn’t until you felt him suck lightly at a tender spot just beneath your ear that you gasped, your fingers instinctively tangling in his hair.
Heeseung hummed in satisfaction at your reaction, the sound vibrating against your neck. His hands gripped your waist firmly, keeping you steady as his lips latched onto your skin, sucking just enough to leave a mark. You couldn’t stop the quiet moan that escaped your lips.
Your grip on his hair tightened, pulling slightly, and he groaned against your neck, the sound low and raspy. “Do that again,” he muttered, his voice husky.
You tugged again, this time more intentionally, and he responded by nipping gently at your skin before soothing the spot with his tongue. His lips trailed lower, finding another spot on your neck to mark.
“Heeseung,” you breathed out, your voice trembling as he continued his assault on your neck, leaving a trail of small, dark marks in his wake. You could feel the way his breathing grew heavier.
“Say my name again,” he murmured against your skin, his voice full of need.
You tugged on his hair once more, tilting your head back to give him better access, and whispered his name again, this time softer, more breathless.
He pulled back for a moment, his lips glistening, his eyes heavy-lidded as they met yours. His gaze dropped to the marks on your neck, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Perfect,” he muttered, brushing his thumb over one of the fresh hickeys. “Now everyone’s going to know you’re mine.”
--
The next morning, sunlight streamed through the curtains, rousing you from your sleep. You blinked groggily, taking in the unfamiliar room for a moment before the events of the previous night came rushing back to you.
Your body felt heavy, weighed down by something—or rather, someone. Turning your head slightly, you froze as you saw Heeseung sleeping behind you, his face peaceful, lips slightly parted, and his arm draped securely around your waist like he was afraid to let go even in his sleep.
Your eyes widened, and your heart started racing. Oh no. This can’t be happening.
You carefully reached down, wrapping your fingers around his wrist, and began to lift his arm off you. It was slow, nerve-wracking work, but as soon as you managed to free yourself, Heeseung let out a soft whine, shifting closer to where you’d been lying.
Panic flooded your veins as he reached out in his sleep, clearly searching for you. Without thinking, you grabbed one of the pillows on the bed and gently tucked it in your place. He relaxed immediately, his arms wrapping around the pillow as he snuggled closer to it, his breathing evening out again.
You released a quiet sigh of relief, grabbing your scattered belongings from the floor. You didn’t even bother putting the heels on, instead clutching them tightly in your hand as you made your way to the door, tiptoeing as quietly as possible.
The hallway was eerily silent compared to the chaos of last night. When you reached the staircase and descended into the main living area, the faint sound of movement caught your attention.
Jay stood near the kitchen island, tossing empty bottles into a garbage bag. He looked up when he heard you approach, a knowing grin spreading across his face. “Morning,” he greeted, his tone light and teasing. “Sneaking out?”
You hesitated, your cheeks burning as you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “I’m just… heading out,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze.
Jay leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “Didn’t think you’d still be here, honestly. Heeseung seemed pretty determined last night, though.”
Your cheeks burned even hotter, and you quickly waved him off. “It’s not what it looks like,” you said, although even you didn’t sound convincing.
Jay raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Right. Whatever you say.” He didn’t push any further, thankfully, instead returning to his cleaning.
You hurried toward the door, slipping out before anyone else could see you. As soon as you were outside, the crisp morning air hit your face, and you let out a shaky breath.
What the hell just happened?
--
You ignored the buzzing of your phone as Heeseung’s name lit up the screen again and again. Calls, texts, and even voice messages you refused to listen to—all of them went unanswered. You couldn’t deal with him right now, not after everything that had happened.
Luckily, it was Sunday, and you had no responsibilities to worry about. After taking a long, scalding shower to clear your head, you threw on your comfiest pajamas and climbed back into bed.
You tried to distract yourself with movies, mindlessly scrolling through streaming apps until you settled on something you’d seen a dozen times before. A large bag of chips sat open next to you, along with a collection of candy wrappers and an empty soda can. It was the perfect lazy day setup, except for one problem—you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
No matter how hard you tried to focus on the movie, your mind kept drifting back to Heeseung.
You groaned, shoving your face into a pillow in frustration. Why couldn’t you stop thinking about him? Heeseung was trouble, plain and simple. You’d known that from the start, and yet you let yourself get swept up in him anyway.
Your phone buzzed again on the nightstand, and for a moment, you considered throwing it across the room. But your curiosity got the better of you, and you reached for it, unlocking the screen to see yet another text from Heeseung.
Heeseung: I know you’re ignoring me, but can we talk? Please?
You sighed, locking your phone again and tossing it aside. You didn’t know what he wanted to say, but you weren’t ready to hear it.
Instead, you burrowed deeper into your blankets, determined to get through the rest of the day without letting him take over your thoughts again. But no matter how many movies you watched, or how much junk food you ate, the memory of him lingered like a stubborn shadow, refusing to be ignored.
So when Monday rolled around, you made it your mission to avoid Heeseung at all costs. You checked the cafe schedule first thing in the morning and made sure your shifts didn’t overlap with his, swapping one with a coworker to make sure you wouldn’t have to see him.
On campus, you were extra careful, keeping your head low and staying alert as you navigated between classes. You stuck to the edges of crowded hallways, dodging places you knew he might linger. Every time you rounded a corner, your stomach tensed, half-expecting to see him standing there, waiting for you.
It wasn’t easy. You’d catch glimpses of him now and then, whether it was through a classroom window or across the quad, but you always made sure to duck out of sight before he noticed you. You couldn’t risk talking to him—not yet.
By the time your shift at the cafe rolled around on Wednsday, you were already exhausted from the mental effort of dodging him. Walking through the door, you felt a wave of relief wash over you as you realized it was just you and a coworker, Jisoo, working the evening shift.
But the relief didn’t last long. Midway through your shift, while you were wiping down the counters, the bell above the door jingled, signaling a customer. Without looking up, you called out your usual greeting.
“Welcome! How can I can help—”
The words died in your throat when you glanced up and saw Heeseung standing there, his eyes immediately locking onto yours.
He was dressed casually, a backpack slung over one shoulder, and he looked like he hadn’t slept well. His hair was slightly messy, like he’d run his hand through it a dozen times.
“Hey,” he said, his voice soft but firm as he took a step closer to the counter.
You froze, your rag still in your hand, unsure of what to do. Jisoo was busy stocking pastries in the display case and didn’t seem to notice the sudden tension in the air.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, trying to sound casual, but your voice came out a little shaky.
“I came to talk to you,” Heeseung replied, his tone calm but insistent. “You’ve been ignoring me, and I don’t like it.”
Your grip tightened on the rag, your mind racing for an excuse, a way out of this conversation. “I’ve been busy,” you said quickly, avoiding his gaze. “School, work... you know how it is.”
Heeseung didn’t budge. “Yeah, I get it,” he said, leaning on the counter slightly. “But I also know when someone’s avoiding me.”
You glanced nervously at Jisoo, who was still oblivious, then back at Heeseung. “This isn’t the time or place for this,” you hissed under your breath.
“Then when is?” he shot back, his voice low but sharp. “Because I don’t think you’ll give me the chance if I don’t force it.”
The determination in his eyes made your heart skip a beat, and for a moment, you didn’t know what to say. But before you could respond, Jisoo turned around, finally noticing Heeseung.
“Hey, Heeseung!” she greeted cheerfully. “You’re not working today, are you?”
“No, just stopping by,” he said smoothly, his gaze never leaving yours.
Jisoo shrugged and went back to her task, leaving you alone with him once again.
“Please,” Heeseung said softly, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “Just give me five minutes. That’s all I’m asking.”
You huffed, feeling cornered with no way out, and agreed to his request, deciding that five minutes would be better than dealing with him here in front of Jisoo. The tension in the air thickened as you both moved to the back of the cafe. Heeseung’s presence loomed behind you, his silence heavy as he followed you through the narrow hallway.
Once the door to the backroom shut, you leaned against the counter, trying to gather your thoughts, but Heeseung didn’t give you a chance to breathe.
“Why did you leave so early that night?” His voice was steady, but you could hear the hint of frustration in it. “Why are you ignoring me now?”
You swallowed hard, pushing aside the thoughts of the night before. It was a mistake, you told yourself. A moment of weakness. You needed to stay firm.
“It was a mistake,” you finally said, your voice coming out a little softer than you meant. “One-time thing. It won’t happen again, Heeseung.”
Heeseung didn’t say anything at first, his expression unreadable. Then he took a step closer, and then another, until you were pressed up against the wall. You tried to breathe steadily, but your heart was racing now.
“Is that how you really feel?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous, eyes locked onto yours. “Do you really think it was a mistake?”
Before you could respond, he leaned down, his lips brushing against yours. You flinched for just a moment, but the warmth of his touch pulled you in, and you could feel his soft exhale against your mouth.
You tried to push him back, to remind yourself of the resolve you’d spent all day building, but his hands were on you, pulling you closer, and despite everything, you felt the tension in your body break. Slowly, hesitantly, you kissed him back.
The kiss deepened, and you felt yourself losing control of your thoughts, of everything you’d promised yourself just minutes ago. It was impossible to think straight when he was this close, his hands gentle but insistent, his lips insatiable.
Heeseung broke away for a moment, his forehead resting against yours as you both panted for breath. “You don’t have to keep pretending,” he whispered, his voice rough. “I can see it in your eyes. You want this as much as I do.”
You tried to argue back, to remind yourself that this was wrong, that it couldn’t happen again, but Heeseung wasn’t giving you a chance. His lips pressed against yours in a soft kiss, silencing any protest you might have had. When he pulled away, he pecked your lips again but then his attention dropped lower.
You couldn’t help but gasp when his lips brushed against your neck, gently revealing the marks from the night before. His fingers trailed up your skin as he pressed his lips against the sensitive spot on your collarbone. You felt a rush of heat flood through you, making it harder to focus on anything other than the way he was making you feel.
His lips moved with purpose, leaving a trail of fresh hickeys on your skin, each one more darker than the last. You gripped his shirt, the fabric twisting beneath your fingers as you tried to hold onto some semblance of control, but it was slipping away.
"How could this be a mistake when it feels this good?" Heeseung murmured between each kiss, his voice husky. "You don’t have to lie to yourself. I know you want this just as much as I do."
With every word, every kiss, your resolve weakened, until you couldn’t remember why you wanted to fight this in the first place. The way he touched you, the way he made you feel alive. You wanted him, and there was no denying it anymore.
“This isn’t just a one-time thing, not for me,” he murmured as he kissed his way back up to your lips. "I’m what you need," he said quietly, his eyes locked onto yours with an almost pleading look. "I’ll give you what you need—what you’ve been craving, even if you don’t realize it yet."
You opened your mouth to argue back, to remind him that you weren’t looking for this, but your words caught in your throat as he suddenly knelt down in front of you.
You gasped, the shift in position catching you off guard. His hands moved quickly to grip your waist, his touch firm yet gentle, as he looked up at you, his eyes wide and vulnerable in a way you hadn’t seen before.
"I’m not asking for anything from you," he whispered, his voice laced with a quiet desperation. "I just want to be what you need. Please, don’t push me away. Let me give you what I know you want."
He leaned in closer, just enough to close the distance between you, but he didn’t move further. Instead, he let his head rest gently against your legs, his hands still holding you steady, waiting for your response.
His voice softened. "I’ll be patient. But please… don’t push me away again."
He was begging you, and the intensity of his words seemed to shake the very ground beneath you.
"I can be good for you," he said softly, his voice trembling slightly. "No one else will make you feel like I can. No one else understands you the way I do. I promise, I’ll treat you right, I’ll give you everything you need. Just let me."
You could feel his hands tighten ever so slightly on your waist, his desperation evident. "I’ll make you happy. I know I can."
His words were persuasive, yet you remained uncertain. Was this what you really needed? What you really wanted?
Heeseung must have seen the conflict in your eyes because he softened even more, lowering his voice as if speaking to your heart. "I’m not trying to force you into anything. I just want you to know that I care about you… more than anyone else could. Please, just trust me."
For a moment, all you could do was stand there, trying to process his words. His eyes searched yours, full of hope, waiting for you to say something, anything.
Eventually you let out a soft sigh, feeling the weight of the decision settling on your shoulders. After a moment of silence, you met Heeseung's gaze. "Alright," you murmured, your voice almost a whisper. "I’ll give you a chance."
Heeseung's eyes lit up instantly, the tension in his body melting away as a smile broke out across his face. Without warning, he stood up, his hands reaching to cup your face gently as he leaned in. His lips pressed against your forehead first, then, he kissed your cheeks, your nose, and finally, your lips. Each kiss was quick but filled with so much happiness and relief, as if he’d been waiting for this moment for a long time.
"I’m what you need," he mumbled against your skin.
What you need.
Reblogs and comments are welcome <3
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🤪
#i need to vent but i cant even find the Words for my feelings and its so frustrating#and i just let frustration build up and up and they always say eventually youll explode but ive been#waiting to explode for like 10 years now and never have#and im just so tired of being suicidal all the time and not being able to just Do It because i fucking hate being alive and the suicidal#stuff isnt New so it feels stupid to vent about it now Because its not new so its like why are you venting on tumblr about it now#why didnt you vent the very first day of your current episode. is months long of suicidal thoughts every day an episode. and like ive been#suicidal for over a decade but theres been breaks and i feel like i havnt had a break from it in forever and im tired and i dont wanna feel#like this everyday for the rest of my life and even if it goes away it comes back everytime and the times its not there dont feel worth the#times it is and i feel like i cant do it anymore but i also cant kms or even talk about my feelings because people will be like no dont#and i dont wanna hear that and like. whatever. ill be fine#(has been saying ill be fine for my whole life. is never fine.)#whatever! i dont matter.#i finally have a psych appointment in april but like what is that gonna do. they cant fix me its gonna be like this forever#theres no such thing as no bad days and i Cant Handle Bad Days. every strong emotion i feel at the suicidal level#and im so worn out emotiobally i cant Fix Anything.#im never getting out of here im never getting out of here im stuck here forever#and its all inside my head so unless i smash it on some pavement its never going away! itll follow me everywhere#idk im good at Tolerating it i guess. still here! that counts for uh. something.
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GREAT WORK MISTER MUSK!
Yeah you don't need a flame diverter. Fuck that shit. Oh, for anyone that doesn't know what the super wise Elon Musk is talking about here when you have a MASSIVE rocket shooting out so much fire that it lifts itself into space that energy needs to go somewhere.
Here's a good demonstration:
youtube
Anyway, Elon is smart! He bought a degree in engineering or something because it's more efficient than actually going to college and learning things!
So he knows he doesn't need that shit.
Oh.
Okay so there was a teeeeeny little bit of damage. That doesn't look too bad. Wait are those stairs on the left? They are. Okay so there's a kinda big crater.
Wait.
Where did two stories worth of stuff go?
Well, here's a video of shit flying up and almost destroying the rocket, watch from about +0.06 to +0.09 to see enormous concrete chunks making it halfway up the booster.
Also it was raining concrete nearby. So uh. That's cool.
Great job Elon. Amazing work.
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